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#if the people that have lived in the house that literally know what how the walls were built
swanpyart · 3 days
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This is probably a silly question, but I really wonder how much the Narrator’s plan for the world when you slay the Princess would realistically be as efficient as he thinks.
Like, will animals die? Not just people, but will ALL life forms stay the same forever? Do the animals know that? Do they still attack each other and try to hunt each other for food? I know the Hunted and the Beast are not exactly representative of animals in this universe, but the LQ and Shifty are both gods who did not really need to play cat and mouse in order to survive, but they did it anyway, so…
What if someone is horribly injured, like to the degree that they SHOULD be dead but now just… can’t. Will they heal automatically? Are they made of rubber, so such an injury would not be able to happen in the first place? What if someone needs a surgery for like, an illness? Will it be impossible to cut them open? If someone has a terminal illness, do they just… have it FOREVER? Cus that would be actually the worst honestly. Imagine getting cancer and the universe freezes, and now you live with cancer for literal ETERNITY. Gee, thanks Narrator.
Also, what about FOOD? So much food relies on killing other life forms. So, if things can’t die, then there’s no more meat (unless the meat is still alive, which would be horrific) or certain plants that require you to chop them down. Can you chop trees down to build houses? Would the tree stump die? Does the tree keep growing even when you chop it up? Do new ones grow? Is there any point where supplies just runs out? Do people even eat anymore? Cus let me tell you, every world culture defines themselves on their cuisine, so I can imagine people would HATE not being able to eat the stuff they used to.
Also, do people keep having kids? Cus if literally no one dies, there will be absolutely nothing from stopping overpopulation in like a hundred years. Or is one of the side effects that, because no one can die, no one can be born either? Well, that’d suck for any parents who were planning to have children when the universe freezes.
I’m sorry, I don’t think Narry thought this through before doing this whole “killing death” thing, which makes it even worse that he fucking died. I know his universe is dying, but at least then no ones gotta live with the absolute buffoonery that is an eternity of weird shit like this.
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followerofmercy · 2 days
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I think Freminet has some of the most interesting dissonance in his self perception of any Genshin character.
Like, of the Hearthlings we know, he's one of the most emotionally mature and intelligent. Lynette might still have him beat, but after playing her hangout... I dunno. I think they're tied. Lyney is Crumbling, Alrecchino is. Well. Arlecchino. Everyone else is a deeply traumatized child or adult and Freminet seems to pretty regularly be people's emotional support. His character stories talk about getting his vision by saving a bunch of other kids on a dive that went bad. The Selkie event literally had him being a therapist for a grownass woman, citing his past experiences with all the other Hearthlings that have died or killed themselves. And he handled that situation WELL. Yeah, he seems to live in a fantasy, but goddamn he's alive and a lot of people in his position aren't so clearly something is working.
Either his or Lyney's character story talks about the time Freminet had reached out to Lyney to try to ease his burdens, which resulted in Lyney blowing up at him. That probably contributed to Freminet thinking he's not good at it, but I think the reason Lyney reacted so badly was BECAUSE Freminet is actually a good support. He can't allow himself that from the little brother he's supposed to protect.
Freminet seems to both cry and dissociate often, but like... Kiddo you are in fact the only person in this family actually processing your emotions. Lynette dissociates 24/7. Arlecchino. Lyney lies and tells everyone he's fine and would literally rather die than admit otherwise. In comparison, Freminet is doing FANTASTIC
Freminet also gets a lot out of helping people! Like anyone, he needs to feel useful and needed. He seems to be an excellent mentor to the younger Hearthlings and perfectly competent on his own, but when you put him in a room with Lyney and Lynette who baby him and insist that THEY take care of HIM, he withdraws into himself.
Like, Freminet by himself feels like a young man and Freminet with the magician twins feels like a teenager. I have no idea how old he actually is. Logically, he would be OLDER than them! He's been with the House much, much longer and his experience shows. I think it's fascinating that they love him SO MUCH and yet, they just Cannot let him help them. Which is hurting him.
(Lynette is much better about not babying him and that is probably why their relationship is so much better than Freminet and Lyney's. Also why she keeps having to mediate between them. Because Lyney charges off trying to Fix Everything and that just makes Freminet feel useless and he doesn't want to get in the way and- you get the point)
Idk. It's hard to tell what things the previous director said to him vs what Arlecchino has said to him. I'm inclined to think our Arlecchino was the one that said he cries too much, but in a "crying in front of your enemies will get you killed" way and she herself is too fucked up to realize how "you cry too much" could be damaging.
Also I try not to consider gameplay stuff when it comes to story, but Freminet also has some of the most BRUTAL animations. He SMASHES HIS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT METAL PENGUIN INTO HIS ENEMY'S FACE. He doesn't think he's the most amazing fighter, and by Fatui standards he probably isn't, but he is winning fights against most grown men.
Tldr Freminet thinks he cries too much and is a burden and isn't good at helping people when he's actually the most mentally stable Hearthling send tweet
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foxalade · 3 days
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"never did see one without the other, did you?"
SOBBING.
Sirius and James are just so idk how to explain it?? I can't BELIEVE Sirius went to Prison because he was framed for killing his BEST FRIEND. HIS SAVIOUR. Literally his platonic soul mate. I can't believe so many people knew them and didn't even bat an eye when he was put in Azkaban.
The fact that people were just like "How could he?" and then moved on with their lives, while Remus was distraught at losing ALL of his best friends in one single night.
HE FOUND HIS BEST FRIEND DEAD. I'm sorry but if I found my best friend dead in her house I'd die, HOW TRAUMATISING IS THAT?? Imagine going to check up on them and finding their house in pieces, and then finding them dead. His best friend. His family. HIS BEST FRIENDS WIFE. THEIR SON??? THEIR ONE YEAR OLD SON.
You know what's worse?
They probably had Sirius' Birthday all planned out. James and Lily were murdered on the 31st of October, 3 days before Sirius' Birthday on the 3rd of November. They would most likely all have bought and wrapped present, perhaps even booked a table at a restaurant or maybe concert tickets or whatever.
But they never went. Never got to do anything. Sirius spent his 22nd birthday locked up in Azkaban while James was dead and Remus was distraught and Peter was hiding.
Harry was taken away and treated like shit. James and Lily's one year old, ONE YEAR OLD, was left orphaned, with no idea about his parents or his parents friends. He could have had a life with Sirius, but that was taken away from him.
Imagine meeting a wanted Murderer, and he goes on to tell you that he loved your father and that he saved him. Saved him from years of torture and abuse in his own household and let him stay somewhere safe. And then got FRAMED by their other best mate for his MURDER which he spent 12 YEARS in prison for.
Even when Harry did move in with Sirius during his fifth year, he didn't have very long with his father's best friend either.
Sirius died protecting the last piece of James he still had. After all of those years, Sirius still loved James, loved him so much that he died to protect his son.
Idc if someone thinks "It's so wrong that Sirius only saw James in Harry, and Harry only saw James in Sirius"
Okay, and? That was all they had left. Sirius was the closest thing to his dad, let the poor boy have that small piece of his life. And Sirius loved James. He said himself that he would rather have died than betray James.
And he would have too. If Sirius had been there when Peter and Voldy showed up, he would have told James and Lily to run and sacrificed himself so they could live a life full of love and raise their son.
James was Sirius' only family. Sirius had nothing without him. NOTHING. "Oh but what about Remus?" I love Remus, don't get me wrong, but Remus would never be able to live up to what James was for him. That boy saved him.
I hate it when people come after James. How could you say he was a horrible person when he literally took Sirius in. HE SAVED HIM.
Ladies and Gentlemen and everyone else, thank you and good night
(it's not a good night and never will be a good night because James died and Sirius was locked up for it. HIS BEST FRIEND.)
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ok wait i need to hear more of your thoughts on peeta owning a bakery....
This is one of those rare times where I’m pretty sure this anon isn’t someone I know personally bc I’ve subjected anyone who will listen to my rant about the Peeta Bakery Headcanon. Anyway, you’re gonna regret asking this anon bc there are fucking Layers here.
I know this is probably a controversial take based on the number of fics where I’ve seen it, but I simply do not think that Peeta would open a commercial bakery after Mockingjay!! Like on a metatextual level, I don’t think it really fits with the point of the ending of the series. It actually sort of fascinates me that it’s just such a common headcanon because the ending of Mockingjay is exceedingly vague. I think that vagueness invites us, as readers, to imagine a better world post-revolution. A world where Katniss would feel confident that her children would be safe from injustice, where she’d feel confident that her children would never know want the way she did as a child. A just world. A kinder world. Can a capitalist society ever be just? Is a capitalist society where a disabled teenager has no other means to subsist himself (or feels like there’s no other way he can be a contributing member of his community) really the post-revolution world we dream of? Is that really the best we can imagine?
(This got so insanely long I’m adding a read more lmao)
I get that showing a better world is not always the point of post-mockingjay headcanons/fics. Like there are plenty of really great post-mockingjay fics I’ve seen where, yeah, part of the fic is that society like ISN’T all that different or all that much better. I’ve seen that really well done! Hell, I’ve written them myself! It’s easy to imagine how a lot of aspects of society would not get an overhaul, a lot of the same structural inequalities would continue to exist. One headcanon that really stuck with me (I can’t remember which fic it was from) was that Peeta sells basically mail order baked goods to people on the Capitol, sending them iced cakes and pastries by train, because there are still people who were “fans” of theirs during the Games. And idk this doesn’t actually have much to do with my point lol but I liked it because it’s kind of fucked up and like! Yeah! It makes sense! If he needed money that would be a good way to make it! War often makes people rich, often for horrible reasons, and often it’s people who already have capital in the first place.
Anyway, more about the hypothetical bakery because alright. I bring up the fact that “yeah society not being all that different post-revolution and still being an unjust capitalist hellscape” could be a reason why Peeta re-opens a bakery because that’s actually never the types of fics where I see the bakery headcanon. Fics where Peeta opens a bakery are usually trying to make the exact opposite point. Like. Things are getting better, now he can open a bakery! Look at how much better the world is now, plus he’s got a bakery! Peeta is healing, that’s why he can open a bakery now! And I am so, so sorry to inform everyone who’s never had the grave misfortune of owning a family business, but there is truly nothing further from the truth lmao. Like just putting aside the immense amount of emotional baggage that Peeta has about his family, running a small business is an insane amount of work in any context and being a baker especially is physically grueling and involves early hours (and long hours) that aren’t really the best fit with the multiple ways that Peeta is disabled now. (I could go into this more because I have a lot of thoughts. But I will spare you.). I also think it’s seen throughout the books that Peeta is someone who needs time to pursue creative outlets to process his feelings and someone who values leisure and values quality time with his loved ones. And having grown up in his family’s bakery, I think he’d understand the reality that running a bakery wouldn’t leave much space of those pursuits and wouldn’t leave much space for him to have the things that keep him healthy and stable. I think he’d know that the way he is now— after two Games and the war and unspeakable torture at the hands of a dictator—isn’t compatible with the lifestyle necessary for running a commercial bakery.
And tbh with that in mind, I don’t think he’d push himself to re-open a business (one that would be a constant reminder of his dead family and his complicated relationships with them that got no closure) that would require him to sacrifice his physical and emotional well-being. Like I think he might look into the possibility, I think he might even start trying to open a bakery out of a sense of obligation/duty, maybe harboring some idea that this is who he was supposed to be, who he would've been without the Games, or that it’s this last piece of his family that can live on, or that it’s this last connection to his family so he can’t let it die too. But ultimately, I think any attempt to open a bakery wouldn’t get very far. Maybe he'd start wading into the logistical nightmare that is small business ownership and realize it's not for him (because it's probably also true that as much as him and his brothers were involved in the business, there's almost certainly parts they weren't involved with and didn't see, i.e., filing taxes). Or maybe looking into opening a bakery— how triggering it is, the stress of it— causes a downward spiral. Maybe he hates how much he's worrying everyone by unraveling. Maybe having a breakdown from the stress of just trying to open a bakery makes him realize, yeah, maybe in another life he would have ran his family’s bakery but the way he is now just doesn’t work with running a bakery, not without great sacrifices he's not willing to make. I just can’t see a bakery coming to fruition.
I know a lot of fics include Peeta deciding to reopen a bakery as a big step in his healing or include him rebuilding a bakery as part of his healing process but honestly, I think the opposite would be more true: I think Peeta either trying/failing to open a bakery or ultimately deciding not to open a bakery would be hugely healing for him. I think it would be a huge part of him accepting the way he is now as a person, his new limitations but also his strengths. I think it would be a huge part of him accepting the way his life his now and accepting that he likes his life the way it is, that he’s satisfied with his life without needing to own a bakery. I think it would be an important part of him coming to terms with the loss of his family. I think he knows he can never have things back as they were and I don’t think he would try to recreate them, especially because his family’s legacy isn’t a business. I think he’s emotionally intelligent enough and self reflective enough to realize that what mattered to him about the bakery— taking care of others by feeding them, being integrated into his community and being actively involved in it, brightening people’s days with delightful things whether that’s beautiful cakes or hearty food or delicious treats— and the things he learned from his family through the bakery, are things that he can carry on in other meaningful ways.
(Do you regret sending this ask yet, anon? Because if not, you will soon. I’m not done yet. There’s more.)
I wasn’t really sure where to put this next part in what is rapidly becoming an essay because it sort of combines the points about like “what do we imagine a post-mockingjay society to look like” with the practical difficulties of starting this bakery but here’s another thing: do people really think that the Mellarks owned the land the bakery was on?? Like, sure, the merchants are the petit bourgeois of Twelve but I still don’t imagine they really own anything. In a society where houses are assigned to people upon marriage, where property ownership and capital are so closely interconnected with citizenship (as shown by the Plinths who, by having immense capital, are able to leave their District and become citizens of the Capitol) do people really think the Mellarks would be allowed to own the land their bakery is on?? I always imagined it sort of like a tenant farming situation: the Capitol gives them the raw materials for the bakery and in return the bakery give them some absurdly high portion of their profits, or the Capitol sells them a year’s supply of raw materials at a premium on credit and at the end of the year the Mellarks have to use the money they made with those materials to pay it back, except it’s never enough to turn a profit so they always have to buy next year’s materials on credit and the cycle continues.
We (understandably) get a really skewed view of the merchant class through Katniss’s perspective so I can see why people come to the conclusion that his family owned the property and, as the last surviving member, he would’ve inherited it. I’ve seen the inheritance thing in fics a lot or a hand wavey “well Twelve was decimated to no one owns anything anymore so it can be his” or even like an almost sort of reparations type situation where he’s entitled to the land as a surviving refugee of Twelve. But I don’t know. I guess I don’t think it fits with everything else we know about Panem that the Mellarks would’ve owned that land and I think the question of whether the government would’ve let him take ownership of the land post-revolution brings up a lot of issues about the structure of society post-Mockingjay that I find more interesting to explore in other ways, especially when, from an emotional perspective, 1) I find the idea of Peeta not opening a bakery more compelling and 2) I don’t think it really fits his character arc by the end of Mockingjay to reopen a bakery, as I went on about at length above lol.
On the flip side: literally who cares!! Do whatever you want!! Headcanon whatever you want!! I get why people go for the bakery!! It’s fun, it’s wholesome, it’s a built in bakery AU that isn’t even an AU. It doesn’t matter if it’s practical or realistic!! It doesn’t need to be practical or realistic!! It’s fanfic of a dystopian YA series!! My unfortunate affliction is that I grew up in a family that owned a restaurant and that I have multiple degrees in the social sciences so I can’t see the bakery without being like “What about the overheard? What about the start up costs? Who’s spending long nights balancing the books? Is Peeta covering shifts when an employee calls in sick? Is Peeta the sole person working there until the bakery is open long enough (often a year or more) to start turning a profit? How does that sleep schedule work with his nightmares? How does that work with Katniss’s nightmares? What happens when he has an episode and suddenly needs to take the day off before he has any employees? Does the bakery just remain closed for the day? Can the profit margins withstand regular unexpected closures? Can the supplies withstand regular unexpected closures?” And if the answer is “Elliott none of those things matter he’s not doing the bakery because he needs the money but because he wants to”, then my question is why does he want to? Does he not get the same sort of satisfaction out of feeding his loved ones? Doesn’t Peeta seem like someone who would rather give away baked goods than sell them?? Doesn’t Peeta seem like someone who would prefer to make cakes for people’s special occasions upon and then when they insist on paying him for it, he only lets them “pay for the ingredients” which actually cost significantly more than he says they did??
So yeah my point is that it’s a matter of personal taste! It doesn’t fit the way I see the series but that doesn’t mean it’s like wrong, I’m not an authority on Peeta lmao.
It’s also a matter of personal taste in the sense that I find the themes that most resonate with me at the end of Mockingjay (and the end of Peeta’s arc specifically) more interesting to explore in other ways. Grief, living with loss, relearning yourself, finding hope, figuring out your place in a dramatically different world when you don’t even know who you are anymore, healing, building a new life after such complete and total destruction of your old life— those are all things I find compelling about the end of Mockingjay but for me the bakery isn’t the most compelling way to explore them.
Not to say I find the concept of the bakery totally uninteresting. I have this fic about Johanna that I’ll probably never finish where the point sort of is that, yeah, her life really isn’t all that much better after the war. It’s been years at this point and she’s still miserable and she doesn’t know how to be a person but by the end she’s trying to figure it out. And towards the end, Peeta tells her that he’s spent years sort of passively, half-heartedly trying to figure out how to inherit the land his family’s bakery was on, only to find out it was never theirs in the first place. They’d been renting it the whole time and he’d never even known as a kid. So he sort of passively, half-heartedly went on another wild goose chase to find the owner and now, finally, after years of writing to various government agencies and being sent in circles and things being barely functional, he’s managed to track down the owner. Now it’s owned by the daughter of the man who owned it when he was a kid because the original owner (who was likely up to some sketchy war crime shit) died during the war and she inherited it (the irony…). He got in contact with her and asked how much it would take for her to sell it and she told him she’s not interested in selling but in light of the situation, in light of the fact that he’d have to build a new building in order to operate a bakery, that she’d cut him a deal— she’d only require 50% of the bakery’s profits as rent instead of the 80% his family used to pay. And of course Johanna is outraged, that’s not right, the owner shouldn’t be allowed to do that, they should do something about it, they should fight back. And Peeta is like. Not interested. He was actually sort of relieved that opening wasn’t very feasible. Getting the answer was a lightbulb moment where he saw that over the years of trying to look into this, he’s built a life that he likes— one where he’s stable, where his loved ones are stable, where he’s cared for and can care for others— and he doesn’t really want to change it drastically by opening a bakery anyway. He just needed an answer, one way or another, before he could get some closure and move on. (And the point of the conversation is Johanna is having her own lightbulb moment that it’s okay to move on, it’s okay to change, it’s not a betrayal of the people and things she’s lost but that’s not my point here!!).
But anyway. That’s obviously not about running the bakery— it’s about the choice to not run one.
Anyway!! Anyway… are you satisfied anon? Is this what you wanted?
Lastly, here is my most important qualm with the bakery headcanon: must Peeta be gainfully employed? Is it not enough for him to be Katniss’s boytoy? Can’t he just paint and garden and bake and hang out with his girlfriend all day? Is that really too much to ask?
#peeta mellark#thg#the hunger games#the hunger games meta#anyway wow this got so long and I literally read it through one (1) time so uhhh sorry if this makes no sense!!#as I was doing my one read through and realized that one of my other thoughts on this is that yeah I can much more easily see the#headcanon that peeta like sells baked goods (probably at cost with no profit) out of his kitchen because that’s much more flexible#and I think that would work a lot better with what like I guess I’d call his psychiatric disability post mockingjay#and how he’d certainly want to take care of Katniss too#like that sort of flexibility makes a lot more sense for him and it’s like. if he doesn’t bake for a few days or however long then it’s fin#it’s not a formal brick and mortar business#it’s just something he’s doing because it’s a way to be involved with people and a way to do something he’s passionate about#without there being waste and while covering some of the costs#and he doesn’t have to like keep books or do payroll or any of the things I can’t see him being very passionate about#as far as like bakery management goes Lmao he can just bake!!#but then I started getting into this whole thing about how that quote-unquote ‘running a business’ like that (informally from your house)#is actually a really common practice for people living in poverty so probably something that Katniss and peeta would’ve been familiar wirh#anyway and then this whole rant about how the emphasis on the brick and mortar bakery often goes hand in hand with#this widespread fandom thing of having a fundamental misunderstanding of how rural poverty works and what it looks like#but then I was too deep into it and said you know what? never mind! and deleted it lmao
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There's always a slight yearning in the back of my mind wishing I had been born in the right place, time, family situation, income level, etc. to have just lived in one single house for my entire life. Imagine being born in a place that still suits you, even through all of your personal evolutions and etc. The idea of deep familiarity with an area because you've lived and explored it for 40+ years, being encased in a web of memories and connections. Being able to clean out your old childhood bedroom and find personal artifacts, to dig in the yard and remember. I know those lives can still be plenty imperfect, but there's just something so seemingly solid and stable and Grounding about it that I sometimes wish I could have.. (At least from my outside perspective as someone who's moved around a bit geographically and even within the same area, never lives in the same house/ apartment /etc. for more than a few years usually.) Like... having a place that is printed upon, fully your own, rather than chronically a visitor, every thought of a space always tempered with the notion that one day soon you'll have to pack it all up again, etc. There's something peaceful about the permanence.
#I think also because I'm a very nostalgic person - THOUGH not in the way that somep poeple mean when they say nostalgia because I've realiz#ed that to some people apparently it means like.. more of a sad emotional thing? Or when I talk about being nostalgic they say 'me too' and#then describe how they're always depressed dwelling on the past wishing they could revisit it and replaying it and feeling sad and etc.#Whereas for me - it's not in a deep or emotional way at all. It's very detached - kind of like someone who is doing like a scientific#cataloguing of something? I don't feel any remorse or sadness or longing or sitting there sobbing for hours over people/pets I've lost or#etc. It's more like a fun contemplative excercise and extension of self analysis plus just documentation. Like I know your memory fades as#you get older OR even as stuff is actively ongoing humans have terrible recall - even the ones who are less emotional/more focused on#accuracy our minds still twist things or etc. SO I looove to have documentations of everything possible so that in the future I will have#as full and complete of a view of myself as I possibly can. sure the image will undoubtedly be a little distorted but having real evidence#of how something was at a time is very valuable. You look through old messages or letters or something and you always find other alternate#versions of yourself. Not in a worse way like inherently inferior Previous Models Of You who haven't yet been perfected but even just in a#neutral way like 'what they're saying is not a BAd thing but also is not how I would say that today.' etc. ANYWAY I find it really interest#ing to document and remember things and love revisiting the past - not in a sad way - but just like. curiosity. reminiscing and recalling#and filling in gaps. or trying to have the same feeling I felt at a previous time so I can remember what it was. Collecting information for#documentation purposes. Like for example - I would love to go back and tour all of my old childhood houses/apartments. Not to like#sit in the middleof them and cry and go 'ohhh my childhood waughhh' - but literally because I want to take detailed photographs so I#can remeber exatly what they looked like and recreate them in sims or some other digital way. Why? idk. just to gather the information. If#I ever live to like 80 years old and I'm still reflecting on my life curious about the dteails of it. I want to be able to fire up my#ancient windows 10 laptop I've kept all these years and open up the sims 4 and tour my old home with accuracy etc. ??#Not sure why really. Maybe an extension of how I generally care a lot about having an 'accurate' view of things? Like I would rather be#accurate than be happy. I don't understand 'ignorance is bliss' because I would always rather know. I always always in any situation am mor#focused on 'what is the well researched practical truth' than about 'how does this make me feel' or etc. Truth above ALL else even if it#were to make me miserable. Aka why I'm a 'boring' 'annoying' 'UM actually..' type of killjoy lol because it's very hard for me to understan#that some people can enjoy something or have a good time even not knowing the full facts of a situation or etc. BUT anyway. since that is#some core driver of my personality for whatever reason (just the plague of ennegram type 5 perhaps lol) maybe that also drives me to my#kind of minor obsession with like 'I must have a complete view and calatoguing of my life that is as accurate as possible within the means#i have' . Is it REALLY important for me to know the exact layout of on of my first childhood bedrooms? no. materially it does nothing for m#in life. BUT hey. it would make a great addition to the Accurate Life Story Catalogue lol. ANYWAY.. But I think a lot of wanting to live in#one place forever is not just the ease of documentation. but the sense of having a constant. Much of what i crave most in life is stability#& familiarity &routine bc of how my brain works. And it just would feel so good to be Settled. Never uproot again. One little place FOREVER
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poisonouspastels · 3 months
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I need to talk about Minecraft AU for a sec and how the difference between our world and their world makes for some of the most humorous but also interesting differences in how people act about certain subjects.
Like the trans thing right. Steve and Rana are both trans I've talked about that before. And neither of them are on hormone replacement or anything (there is an in universe explanation as to why Steve has a beard though I promise I can talk about that if anyone wants) but like that's fine bc it literally Doesn't Matter to them or anyone else. Like as spawned players they already don't have any pre-existing gender roles or ideas of what something "should" be so gender and presentation is what they make of it and there's no real solid idea in anyone's mind about how a "boy" or "girl" behaves or looks like. These are labels that exist but they barely mean anything. It also helps that any preexisting culture that WOULD have ideas of this was almost entirely destroyed like 5000 years ago (thanks Groda) so it matters even less than it already did.
And its funny bc the only two people alive from that era, White Eyes and Groda also just don't care. Groda maybe asks why Rana's voice sounds deeper once and nearly gets torn apart by Alex bc of it (Rana isn't offended or anything she just has a defensive girlfriend), bc she doesn't really understand because she never experienced anything like this first hand but very quickly comes to understand it and accept it. And on the other hand White Eyes is just like "I've seen weirder things than this" which yeah. Yeah honestly I think the person who was previously one with the undead would not care about gender in the grand scheme of things.
And then u have Kai which I've joked before that they may as well have been spawned in nonbinary. They rlly just said "I'm not really anything" and everyone was like yeah makes sense I vibe with it. Good for u.
Steve and Rana are both fairly open about having been the opposite genders previously (because that's how they view their experiences and that's valid!) and don't really shy away from the subject but also never really have much reason to talk about it since there's rarely a need to. In the modern day pretty much everyone who met them had met them post-transition. Even Alex had met them just before Steve started growing in his beard. The only people who ever knew them as Adam and Eve were Efe and Sunny but they never really thought it was weird or anything. Like the weirdest part to them was Steve saying he got his epiphany from seeing some guy in the distance on a foggy day who looked vaguely like him but that's its own subject manner that they aren't going to pry on.
Also Steve did DIY top "surgery" previously with a sword but we aren't going to talk about how messy that was for everyone involved.
#minecraft#minecraft au mastertag#apologies for my trans ramblings. how i get to approach these subject matters in the AU is just fun#and i needed to get some thoughts out#unrelated fun fact that i think most people here dont know: Steve and Alex were actually the first two to be in a committed relationship#not Steve and Rana like most would (rightfully) expect#this is because despite the fact that the two have literally know eachother for their entire lives#they're both really bad at being honest with themselves.#for years it was 'i like this person but i dont know how to tell them'#to 'well maybe i only FEEL like i like them because i dont know anyone else that well'#to 'well maybe they dont feel the same and it'd be weird to bring it up now'#you've heard of slow burn now get ready for what those two had going on#Alex when integrated into the household and months had passed actually had enough confidence to ask#here's the funny part though. she had assumed that Steve and Rana WERE dating already (and was cool with it obviously)#they were not.#so u can imagine how funny it is for Steve to hear 'Your girlfriend is pretty' out of Alex's mouth bc of that#She's more shocked that they're NOT dating already they live in the same house they've known eachother for literally their entire existence#they are like so stupidly affectionate with eachother to boot#'And you've known her for how long??' 'I mean... about 10 years?' 'DUDE.'#its actually agonizing but on the bright side it is what got the polycule started eventually#I would not be surprised if Sunny and Efe placed bets on if/when it would eventually happen
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hella1975 · 9 months
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so it turns out it was actually never that serious
#the exam literally went fine what the fuck just happened i feel like i just hallucinated that#like im not one of those people that go 'omg i did soooo badly :(' just to come out with top grades if i say it's going to shit#then it's becuase i genuinely wholeheartedly believe it#and my headspace before this exam was the worst it's been in MONTHS like i havent felt that bad for an exam since first year#and i sat down opened the paper and. remembered everything. like i literally just Knew the answers#im not saying ive passed bc am i fuck about to jinx it and i was still riding mainly blind bc i have NO idea where that knowledge came from#but at the very least there was a 35 marker that i KNOW i aced like i could picture the exact lecture slides it wanted me to discuss#and i had all of them memorised so at the very least ive got like. 30 marks. which is enough for me to pass the module#bc this exam is only weighted 75% and with my marks from the other 25% i only needed like 20 marks to pass this exam#which... makes it even more embarrassing that i failed it the first time but whatever!!!!#oh my god im so glad that's done im so happy IM FREE#just been in the kitchen dancing around to my little tunes and texting my friends <3#im meeting up with one of them when she gets off work at 5 and we're going for drinks#so ive got until then to nap and chill and then ill go to the shop and get us some food and wine#and she's gonna come here for a bit & then we'll go. like actually look at me. im having people over at MY HOUSE im going out to buy us WIN#im literally a functioning adult living independently who IS she a misty memory#alas i do only have £23 in my account so this is gonna be such a slay seeing how i make that stretch for a night out#i acc could budget for england when it comes to alcohol i think like the way i manage to have a good funky time with MINIMAL funds#is downright impressive. it's a skill idc what you say#hella goes to uni
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banghwa · 3 months
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genuine question how do u get over ur fear of existing
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Shout-out to everyone who survived a "fun" easter with the family
#fucking hell#it started with finding out my dad smoked in my car when I picked up my sister#who was equally dreading the day#my mum turns into the world's tensest and judgemental presence. worsened by my aunt#then hell for autistic people (of which there are multiple present)#multiple deaf people means one uninspired conversation that isn't interesting in any way.#combinations of passive aggressiveness and people not saying a thing because they can't participate. voice volumes too damn high#weirdass food situations. Very full table. so many smells.#this goes on for over an hour. wishing for literally anything but being there. soul crushing.#then you still have to sit in that room for 2.5 hours. it just goes on and on.#my autistic deaf dad physically looks like how I feel. my mum and aunt keep piling on top of him to demand his mental presence#i leave the room once (to get my phone to show pictures to my uncle) and am immediately followed upstairs by my mum#who demands I don't leave the room (What's next. following me when I need the toilet?)#me and my sister are so bored we start throwing paper planes and fake fighting.#Which amuses the bored and the deaf#but of course my mum and aunt have opinions and this is not allowed. only soul crushing boredom allowed#they complain to each other over it while aggressively doing dishes#finally it ends because my mum and aunt start insisting my dad should go to bed if he's 'that tired'. *sprinkle on some additional ableism*#still sitting through a conversation about allergies one of my sister's friends has. my mum preaching that people should take that seriously#(meanwhile i had to cook for myself for 9 years because when my allergies were really bad no one bothered to check if i could eat something)#me and my sister go sit upstairs to discover our mum has made things we care about vanish in her room#and made things appear that should not be there#I've washed the interior of my car and hope the smell will go#you think it's over after that. but woke up with the realisation that even more things have disappeared from my sister's room.#i can't remember a time when things left outside of my room didn't disappear#I don't know why we do these family gatherings at all. no one has fun on days like that.#the housing crisis isn't making these things easy. my sister is losing her place to live again as well#she'll go hiking for a month and then work on a campsite over the summer#maybe I'll go house sitting again. idk.#can't make commitments a few months in advance like that because I'll cancel everything the second Sparks announces anything important
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mittentroll · 1 year
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HEY YA’LL, I’m still fucking alive and its something I’m celebrating today!! 🌈✨💕🌻
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dmclemblems · 2 years
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maybe sometime I really will go into more detail about how inaccurately Houses handled recruits for the Lions besides for on this post (like for more depth), but the fact that you can recruit Sylvain outside the Lions in Houses is absolutely NUTS. the whole flirting with girls thing is so superficial and he knows it, so the whole idea of him joining any house because of the option of Byleth being female is super lame (even if Byleth was male he wouldn’t). his loyalty to Dimitri, Felix, Ingrid, and Faerghus itself would never allow for him to take up arms against his family group of friends or his home. he just wouldn’t.
I’m actually very happy that Hopes doesn’t allow any of the Lions to be recruited outside AG besides for Mercedes (not loytal to Faerghus) and Ashe (who you could argue Lonato with and the fact that he would just want to survive and surrender to any enemy because he needs to survive to take care of his little siblings). Only those two have reasons to be recruited whereas none of the other people in Faerghus would ever ever ever take up arms like that against their own family, friends and homeland.
I mean it’s literally basic Faerghus facts that it’s a country of extremely loyal people. they’re not loyal to their customs, just ingrained in them and Dimitri is working to carefully change any toxic customs or issues while making sure it doesn’t cause any problems that could harm the citizens (like riots and shit). they have customs that can change, but their loyalty to their home and each other is part of who they are as people.
just because they’re willing to die for their country doesn’t make them all the nonsensible shit that Edelgard and Hubert say about them. Edelgard says shit like how she can’t understand why they die for their homeland instead of surrendering and choosing to live because she’s so narrow mindedly focus on the Crest system that she literally believes Faerghus is just trying to defend its old ways and stay trapped in them.
it’s literally not. it’s a country that will fight to protect its freedom from invaders and will die for their honor, loyalty and everyone and everything they love. they don’t die to protect their systems. they fight because they aren’t willing to be overthrown. Edelgard should have known that with how long they’ve been fighting Sreng away from its borders. Faerghus is full of VERY PROUD people and you can’t just walk in with an army and go “hey so I’m here to overthrow your country and destroy your systems and throw your people in power out of power”. they’re not just gonna be like oh no how scary it’s an army. they’re gonna say bitch fuck you and your whole ass army you’re gonna have to kill us to take this country.
yeah, they’re used to their systems, but the people also recognize that Sreng has been kept away thanks to the Lance of Ruin and the Gautier family’s Crest’s power. until they’re able to find a new way to manage that, they can’t just toss the system out the window. they need a plan first and then they need to find a way to initiate that. you also can’t just change things overnight and expect the populace to be cool with it. there’s a reason it’s taking longer for Faerghus to have huge changes, and it’s because Dimitri knows how to run a country. it’s because he knows the people he needs to worry about and please are the people themselves.
tl;dr the Lions are way too fucking loyal to ever leave Faerghus. Felix is also like that and him being a tsundere character doesn’t change that. him not knowing how to handle talking to Dimitri, who he shows worry about in a very aggressive and roundabout way, is not him actually hating Dimitri and wanting to leave Faerghus behind. his issues with Dimitri also don’t extend to Faerghus itself, so even if they couldn’t find common ground again (which they do), Felix would not leave Faerghus because his country has nothing to do with their personal issues. if he didn’t like something Dimitri did as a ruler, he’d want to be there as someone who can borrow Dimitri’s ear and give him advice to help him. he would not just walk away and be like oh well I guess Faerghus is fucked. he’d work to help fix the problem.
while I understand the overall reason for Houses letting you recruit basically anyone, I know it’s also a common thing that people mention how much of an asspull the dialogue is for the characters’ reason for turning on their homeland. it’s one of those things where you can’t reasonably recruit them as a real story-based ally because it messes with their core character. in the case of Hopes, it at least handles the recruit problem for the Lions waaaay better.
like... if this universe was real, you would not be recruiting them to another country’s side in war. you just wouldn’t because you couldn’t. it’s like trying to pull a single brick out of a solid brick wall with just your hands and nails. y’ain’t doin’ it.
#Three Hopes#Three Houses#and look like one of my favorite things abt Sylvain is his loyalty#one of my favorite things about him is how he won't turn on the people he loves#he doesn't even hate Miklan. he's bitter about what happened between them and that's really it#he can be mad but he also gets sad when Miklan dies. his last words after fighting him are ''Miklan... My brother...''#if Sylvain can't even find it in him to hate Miklan after what happened between them in Houses then he's never gonna turn on Faerghus#like deadass he is the guy who would slit your throat in your sleep if you fucked with Felix Dimitri or Ingrid#Hopes did so much good for his character and that angry worrying mom side of him#he's literally team mom and he will do anything to protect them#I haaaaate any concept of Sylvain ever betraying the people he would literally die for#that doesn't like much in words bc it's easy to say/write ''die for'' but that's the end of  someone's life and when it's happening#in real time it's significant and most people WOULD turn tail if they thought they'd die there#Sylvain... wouldn't do that. he'd really die for them. he would never want them to die before him#that's also why for me non-AM Sylvix endings just KILL me and prove to me that they should never have left Faerghus in the war#it's almost like karma for betraying their people and Dimitri. Sylvain doesn't get to die before them#he doesn't even get to see Felix's body. he'll never know what happened to Felix. he just gets his sword and has to live knowing#that now both Dimitri and Felix are dead and he may or may not have outlived Ingrid so like#it's literally the worst possible ending for Sylvain for his core character. outliving EVERYONE he ever loved or cared for#Felix just likes to act tough and bitchy he's just a soft dumb nerd at the end of the day who loves cats#if you put a kitten in his arms he'd probably just melt on the spot and bluescreen bc of his cute it is#and if it mewled and stared up at with giant wide adorable eyes he'd combust#and Ingrid is self explanatory like there's no excuse for her ever leaving Faerghus lol it just wouldn't happen#DCB Comments
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strohller27 · 1 year
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#i need to be honest with myself too#it is damn scary leaving the security of my job and the house I’m in right now to try to make it living in Canada#but I have all of the credits I need for my master’s degree#so not only do I feel like I’ve worn out my welcome in the linguistics department here#I’ve started feeling kind of isolated from literally everything#i don’t know who to turn to for help because everybody’s already so busy#i don’t know what to do while I’m waiting around to apply to study at McGill university#i want to write an article and get it published because maybe that will set me apart from all the other people who are going to apply#but I don’t know what to write about. i don’t feel like anyone gives a flying fuck about Canadian dialects of English except me#what could I say about them that would get people to care??#i want to talk about the construction of Canadian national identity; about Canadian Multiculturism and how it’s still quite hegemonic#why is so much of a national identity tied up to place? is that really what gives a group its identity?#I feel like places help to anchor shared experiences across time but do they really give a group their identity?#but why is that important? i don’t know!? why do I have to justify my entire existence??#if I want funding for my research I have to prove to someone that what I have to say matters. what if it’s not that deep?#what if doing this research helps me to follow a dream I have? a dream that the american dream could never promise me?#what if I dream of living in a place where I don’t have to worry about giant medical bills?#what if I dream of living in a place where I don’t have to drive for 40 minutes to get to an ice rink?#what if I dream of being able to go to the beach and eat seafood that doesn’t cost 10000 dollars??#what if I want to listen to bagpipes without being reminded of the redneck-ass piper who threatened to kill me because I’m queer?#or the old guys in the pipe band who basically sexually assaulted me?#what if I want to live in a place where I have room to spread out and not in someone’s storage room??#what if I’m tired of being stuck in the same ‘safe’ place for as long as I have been?? ​what if I want my life to begin already?????#why should I have to justify that? just please let me out of here. let me see the world. let me live.#let me move on
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oh my god.. a job for me.. historical pierrot beach performer lol
#also I'm obsessed with shows like this#I always forget about like 'people live in a fully historical way as a sort of half documentary half educational reality-tv ish thing' as#a genre but then every once in a while I remember and watch something like this and am so enamored#There was also one called 'manor house' or something where it was like normal people who aren't actually historians or anything#trying to live like how they did a while ago in some big manor or whatever which was interesting#not the drama really (there wasnt much but a few of the people on there were kind of annoying whenever they did get their#few little interview bits among the otherwise mostly explanatory nature of the show just focusing on how things#worked in mainatining a giant manor house)#though there's a lot of focus on edwardian and victorian times in these sorts of things. which is cool!#but I wonder if they have them for different time periods too. and different locations. what about 1500s france#1250s china. etc. etc. I dont know because like I said I always forget I like this type of stuff so I never look it up#omg.... guess what... (whispering to you as if we're friends and I'm gosspiing).. you will NEVER believe this..#you know 'Edwardian Farm' right? well.. I just found........ 'VICTORIAN farm'!#it's literally the same people doing the same thing but a different time period. And you know what? I will still eagerly watch every moment#ghbhj.. They could do 'Victorian Farm 2' 'Victorian Farm 3: Yet Another Show About The Same Stuff' and I would watch them all#ANYWAY.. also I feel like that could be my niche. Like because I'm Very Mentally Ill And Have Very Much Problems and have difficulty managi#ng ''normal'' jobs. But I LOVE menial repetitive tasks epsecially ones I can do with my hands. Like I could peel carrots for hours. I love#sculpting. etc. If I were ever in a position to learn a historical trade I think that could be My Thing. on these shows they always have li#ke 'The One Single Guy In The Entirety Of England Who Still Weaves Baskets Like They Did In Shropshire In 1805' or whatever and they#call him on the show and he's like 'yeah this basket took me 16 hours to make and here's how I do it' and it's like.. god.. I could be that#guy.. Like old style jewelry making. shoe making. all of these little tedious tasks to do crafting sorts of things.#It's just that like... when am I ever going to be in a position to LEARN that? You'd have to know someone who already does it#and be like tutored by them or etc. Which my social issues are a barrier gghhj.. and lack of resources/money to buy supplies. etc#but.. THEORETICALLY.. the dream.. ANYWAY ghhjhj.. I've been very busy all week but will try to do new poll adventure and other#stuff soon. I've had like two appointments and More Things Than Usual so just.. zero social media posting energy whatsoever#I do HAVE posts though.. pictures.. cat things.. costumes.. polls.. it's just.. brain says I have to lay on the floor all day instead#but at least I can ponder the absolute glee of a theoretical life where I am That One Guy in england who can make old ass gloves or etc.#If anyone in the UK has a dying grandpa with a near-extinct skill and YOU yourself don't feel like picking up the trade to pass it to young#er generations.. hmu and help me get citizenship and I will do it for you. even if he's evil and mean. I will MAKE those shoes
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angelsdean · 2 years
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the thing is. while i don’t always understand dean’s references i DO talk like that inserting my own collection of references and phrases and word associations. the deancoded of it all speaking completely incomprehensibly 
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wine-dark-soup · 1 year
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Arf
#It's 🤌 the sudden realization living alone is terrible for you#My mom visited and left this morning#I was feeling so great even stopped having insomnia (that i had non stop since august)#(Btw you never realize how tired you are until you sleep soundly for 4 days and feel Normal again)#The weather is probably helping too but thats not just that#And now im alone again in the house and the minute she left i felt i was starting to drift again#Im a freelancer#I work from home so i dont even have work relationships#And depression really fuels itself like if i start being tired again if it stop sleeping again#I will be too tired to go out and i will remain Isolated#Which is pretty much what happened since august#I literally dont know how to form Solid relationships too and not just like having a nice chat with people i'll see once or twice#It's terrible bc i am Not as depressed as before so i am perfectly aware of the tools i can use and i remember feeling so strong#When i was declared 'healed' a few months back. Like it was true and i was about to seize the opportunity#But it was like; snatched from me and it IS even more depressing somehow. It was just here you know?#Idk; idk. I hope i'll keep sleeping so i can go out at least but i am really feeling hopeless and uuuh#Ill-fated?#To the point im on the verge of crying#EDIT WRONG BLOG not that it matters i just wanted to get it off my chest#Adding this too - i immediately started bad habits again. Like playing games in the evening. Bc what else is there to do when you cant '#'Parallel play' with your mom in the living room? Chill while shes watches a show#?#Just chat with her (or anyone else)?#I have no interest in watching tv on my own i just wouldnt focus except if im 200% into it#So being alone in the living room is at best boring at worst anxiety inducing. Im just there. Waiting for something#So before it becomes unbearable i hurry nack to my bedroom and check my phone or go on a game#See what i mean?
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bipidin · 1 year
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I love going out with friends, but it almost always ends with me having a breakdown in my car afterwards
#it's mostly with groups of friends i just get to my car and just breakdown#some of them are older than me and some of the younger some the same age#but they all have their life so much more put together and i end up feeling like shit afterwords#older friends have partners in life and are looking/have aprtment/house#same with friends my age#friends younger than me excel academically and have had experiences overseas or hold multiple jobs at once while fulltime student)#then there's me - struggles to keep mental health up while 3/4ths part time living at home reading when im not doing school/work/chores#doesnt know when she's going to graduate and has literally nothing to talk about#i love seeing friends and have so much fun being with them but i hear everything they're up to and then they ask me and i just gotta laugh#say nothing much and try to move the convo back to them bc i have nothing really going on - which is not their fault at all#this is 100% on me - but i see their lives and i wonder what its like to actually be living a life instead of just going through it#i've wanted to join clubs and stuff at school but its all so intimidating - people are intimidating and i always end up alone in a corner#bc i never did learn how to make friends - my friends growing up were friends of a girl who befriended me#i feel like a little kid (in a bad way) compared to everyone else and am afraid i won't ever catch up#---ahh looking online to see what to do has turned up the term socially inept - which i hit most of the checks on...great
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