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femmefatalevibe · 1 year

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Femme Fatale Guide: How To Gain Motivation & Get Out of A Rut

Spontaneous motivation is possible but rare. However, learning how to jumpstart this valuable energy to gain the initial momentum you need to create consistent habits and routines necessary to help you achieve your goals. Here are some tips and tricks to get out of a rut and jumpstart motivation.

Create specific goals: Use qualifying and quantifying details (e.g. I intend to stay at the Ritz Paris hotel; I will save $50K by the end of this year, etc.; I'm cultivating a Scandinavian aesthetic; I will eat 3 healthy meals daily during the workweek, etc.)

Organize your goals into different areas of life: Try not to have more than 1-2 goals per life arena at a time (career, finances, health, relationships, self-development, etc.)

Write a short list of 3-5 things you can do to get closer to each of your goals: These can be habits or one-time tasks (e.g. take a walk every day, automate "X" amount of my paycheck into my investment accounts, etc.). Consider this bullet-point list as your high-level action plan. It gives you a roadmap that's simple enough to help you get started without overwhelming your mind with details or complexities. Success is born from simple, consistent habits.

Create a vision board for each goal: Envisioning yourself achieving the goal can spark some initial excitement and motivation. Everything gets clearer when you can see the end in sight.

Write out a "pros" and "cons" list for each goal: Consider the benefits of working towards each goal vs. the downsides. A little fear-based motivation can be healthy as a catalyst to gain some inspiration and momentum.

Get mapping & mathing: Create a mockup of your ideal wardrobe, healthy meals you want to eat, design a mockup of your dream project live on a billboard, all of the places you want to visit in a foreign country, every aspect of your dream date night, etc. Do some quick projections on how much you could be saving with your budgeting goals, and entrepreneurial pursuits, or run the numbers regarding health goals you can work towards (whether it's weight or strength related)

Create a weekly self-accountability goal: Choose one task per goal that you want to accomplish each day (or a few times a week) to get you moving in the direction you desire. Keeping promises to yourself is the simplest way to stay on track.

Track your progress: Make a log of your hours spent reading, working out, check off the days you've had a healthy meal, how many pitch emails you've sent out, any additions or removals from your current wardrobe and environment, etc.

Give yourself a rewarding incentive: Be enough of an adult to use your childlike tendencies to your advantage. Create "if-then" compromises with yourself to ensure you stay on track. E.g: If I make a healthy meal at home for dinner during the week then, I can eat it while watching an episode of my favorite show. If I order-in an unhealthy meal, then I cannot watch my favorite show that night. Savage, I know!

Join supportive online communities & spaces: Find communities on Tumblr, TikTok, Instagram, Reddit, Facebook groups, etc. to find people with similar goals and life outlooks. Read books by authors who have achieved your desired goal, and listen to podcasts on your same wavelength. Find digital ways to cultivate a tribe.

Keep a "Winning" Journal: A notebook that you can write in daily, a few times a week, or weekly to share all of your accomplishments. This method allows you to feel like you can brag and show off a bit, so you get the social validation (even if done in private) while still moving in silence and refraining from appearing arrogant.

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articdelilah · 5 months

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Hellooo I love the teen mc concept so I'm wondering if you could do it also with Leon's faction? Thank youu

✮ A Little Trouble ✮

Platonic!Ikemen Princes x Teen!Reader

Hi Anon!! Thank you so much for requesting💞 Your wish is my command! Sorry for the wait!! (I know nothing about Leon so I’m sorry if he’s OOC)

Domestic Affairs Faction

˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖

Leon tried to argue with Sariel about his choice. This girl has school and friends and life to live! It would be horrid to put such a hard task on such young shoulders. Sariel of course did not wield with Leon’s request of changing the Belle.

By her side from day 1. He showed how the factions work and what they do, their aim and motives.

After the very hard first day with Leon, they go into town to get ice cream! Or steak. Whichever one Belle is feeling after such a day.

Leon is consistently looking out for her, making sure Chevalier doesn’t say anything too honest or hurtful. If he tries, he’ll be shut down by Leon almost immediately with furrowed brows.

Very protective but not in an overbearing way. Definitely not as subtle as the other Princes. When Belle asks to let her dual with him, he thinks about it but decides against it. He promised her that once she reads all the books Sariel assigned, then he’ll dual her fair and square. Motivation!

Belle liked to observe the man work. She sat with him, asking him questions about the different subjects and affairs that are happening in Rhodolite. She asked about Obsidian but Leon tried to avoid the topic.

Obsidian wasn’t a big threat currently and perhaps it’d be better if Sariel told her? No that would be the worst case scenario.

Leon explains Obsidian’s land, why they want to invade and their current status of threat. Belle said she’d ask Chevalier about it as well, but Leon only made a sour face.

A sudden clang of two silvery swords frightened the birds which were resting in the nearby oak tree; the birds of brown feathers sore into the clear sky as a result. The air wasn’t thick with bloodlust or hatred however instead filled with adrenaline and determination. Belle had begged Leon for them to dual for as long as she could remember, doing everything in her power to get him to agree. Sparks flew in all directions as the two continued their dual, brows creased on the young Belle’s face making Leon smile. He was so proud of her, being able to read all those books in a couple of days sure is an accomplishment. In the midst of thought, Leon was abruptly pulled away from his thoughts as a cool sharp point nudged his neck. His eyes widened as he realised he let his guard down. Despite this he couldn’t help but laugh at the distaste on Belle face “Stop going easy on me! Come on! Fight me for real!”.

“I’m trying”

Jin laughed with Clavis when he met Belle. He simply loved her already!

For the first week of Belle’s stay, he always made sure she had flowers and a few lollipops in her bedroom. Everyone needs snacks right! The flowers were simply never the same colour however. On Monday the roses were red, Tuesday they were pink.

His great hand coming down to ruffle her hair and laugh when she told Jin about her worries. After all, how can you be worried with Jin by your side? If there was anything Jin could help with, you bet he did help.

Is studying alone hard? No worries. Jin is right there to help! Want a break? Jin’ll take her to town for some food!

Belle had been working hard and Jin knew that. He wanted to take some of weight off her shoulders by making her life at the palace a little easier by doing small gestures like bringing her the heavy leather bound books Sariel assigned Belle to read back to her room.

Once Jin came back to find the new Belle alone in the drawing room. He peaked his head in and noticed that she wasn’t reading any heavy leather bound book but rather staring intensely at a fashion magazine for teen nobility.

He knocked on the door to get her attention, asking the girl what she was looking at. Belle watched him next to her as she hesitantly showed him the dress she had been looking at. Her gaze averting to the rug on the floor. Jin agreeing it would look lovely on her.

Lollipops and summer nights on the balcony>>> Late night walks around the town + the palace are very common.

He introduces Belle to his favourite tavern and shows her the nightlife of Rhodolite (without the bad stuff ofc)!

Jin usually brings her to make fun of the drunks with him, dine and chat loudly about anything that really came to mind.

The 1st Prince of Rhodlite leaned on the pastel pink wall of the newest clothing store, waiting for the new Belle to finish getting changing. The whole place was filled with dresses and suits for young nobility, making it the biggest trend in the higher classes. The clothes were imported from Jade and Benodite. Jin had popped a lollipop in his mouth a few moments prior as he hummed a little song under his breath. Belle let out a little squeak in the changing room, making Jin smirk and hurry her out of the rather large stall. Her hand slowly peaked in the corner of the fabric of the curtain, pulling slowly on it to reveal herself in the same dress she was looking at in the magazine. Belle gave the 1st Prince the largest smile and spun and twirled; The dress was light green and white, adorn with lace and pearls. This particular dress was exported from Jade and it reached her knees with a large bow at the back. “Stunning Belle! But not quite finished yet” He wagged a finger and the [H/C] haired girl skipped over. Jin’s hand held a green bow that matched the dress with pearls, his fingers brushing her hair behind her ear before playing the bow in place.

“Thank you Jin! You’re the best!”

Yves was speechless at the news of Belle being a teenager. After all, being Belle is such a big responsibility! Can a teenager really handle it?

Yves takes on the new Belle under his wing, giving her a little [F/C] diary to write her notes in. She cannot forget anything of course.

Is afraid to let her out of his sight for longer than 2 hours.

He was so surprised how Belle treated him, especially that a lot of people were taught young about his bloodline. Belle however was still kind and caring despite everything she had heard in town. Yves asked her about this one day, the girl spoke that “Unless I’ve met the person, I would never claim they are evil just because of the blood that flows through their veins”

Yves has very strict with Belle, but he always made it up to her by baking her cookies or cake. Tea parties are also quite common, BUT ONLY TO TEACH BELLE TABLE MANNERS no other reason

Make overs with Yves are simply a must! Yves teaches Belle how to do her hair in complex hairstyles, the basics of colour meaning and styles of clothes worn on different occasions. Fashion is just as important as politics in the noble world after all!

Eventually Belle asked Yves if he would show her how to bake and Yves couldn’t hold the prideful smile that lit his face, he of course agreed! It was only because it was his duty as Prince however 👀

The palace was cold, silence and darkness submerging every corner it could greedily claim as its own. Despite the harsh snow outside, the kitchen was filled with warm light and cheery laughter of a Prince and a young girl. The fire crackled as the two sat on plush pillows, giggling as they engulfed in quiet chitchat. On the wooden floor lay plates of chewy cookies and sweet colourful macaroons. Belle held a plate with peach pie, struggling to hold it still as she fell into a fit of giggles once more. “That’s not even that funny!” Yves tried to pout but failed miserably as seeing Belle smiling so hard made his heart swell with pride. Sure Clavis’ prank with the cardboard cat was definitely not fun to experience, but maybe perhaps it was worth falling into Clavis’ potholes just to hear Belle’s laughter.

He was distant. Just like Chevie, he found the thing ridiculous and shook his head disapprovingly when told.

With the help of Yves and Sariel however, Belle got a chance to spend more and more time with Licht.

He tried to be rude, but Belle never took it to heart. Perhaps she knew from the start how kind he actually was. Either way, Belle being persistent was both a blessing yet curse.

Soon she became his companion. She was obviously worried about him which gave Licht motivation to be better. He never wanted her to worry about him.

Despite this Licht usually keeps his distance from her, making sure she is safe from afar.

Licht showed Belle how to ride a horse, knowing full well that Belle did something wrong to spend that extra minute with him.

Licht is always willing to sing to Belle after she had a rough day or a nightmare. He’ll stroke her hair and sing that same song his mother did, the Prince’s sweet voice lulling the girl into a sweet dream.

One day, Licht had invited Belle to visit him at the stables. She put on her best outfit before meeting him, but she was taken by surprise when Licht said this isn’t a riding lesson.

Not even the cold breeze of approaching autumn could make Licht’s heart less warm as he observed the girl near him. In her hands a basket filled with all types of flowers: coneflowers, dahlias and cosmos. Yellows, pinks and whites brought life to the brown weaved basket. Licht sat amongst the grass letting the cool air fill his lungs, his horse a couple of metres away grazing at the greenery. Belle plopped down next to him, smiling a smile that was brighter than the sun. “Close your eyes.” Licht smiled softly at the girl. She giggled when she closed her eyes, waiting patiently. Carefully picking the flowers with the longest stems, Licht’s fingers braiding the flowers over each other. He did this for a minute before placing the flower crown on the now impatient Belle who was starting to complain. Her eyes shot open and her hands began to delicately inspect the flowers which adorned her soft hair. Her eyes squinted with cheerfulness. Licht’s silent moment of his own happiness becoming brighter as the girl pounced on the once lonely wolf. The 6th Prince held her close, swearing that he will protect his sister. After all, they say that blood is thicker then water of the womb.

If you like my work, feel free to request!! Thank you for reading and Goodbye my Doves🕊️🌙

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earthnashes · 9 months

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How do you keep up the motivation for working out? Or the planning of what exercises to do and go for? Asking cause I’ve been interested in weight training and tried it before but ya know- after 3 months, took a break, and now it’s hard to get back into it. Hope you don’t mind the questions! Congrats on your progress too!

I don't mind questions at all, no worries! :)

So I guess my answer to the question is to really evaluate why you're trying to get into weight training: What are your goals? Is it for the aesthetics? Is it because you wanna be strong, athletic? Is it a lifestyle you're willing to commit to?

I say ask yourself these questions and really evaluate what you want out of it, because I'll be honest: motivation is what got me started, but it isn't why I'm still at it. The bottom line to getting into weight training at any level in my opinion is to view it as a lifestyle commitment. Because it is; anyone can lift weights, for sure, but if you wanna make any meaningful progress in the gym you have to take it seriously.

As such, my one of my biggest tips in the motivation department: make weight training a non-negotiable component to your lifestyle. More than that, make your health a non-negotiable component to your lifestyle. Because fitness is a long game, one you will play for the rest of your life, so it must become a regular part of your life, however way you choose to make it so.

SO with all that said, some tips that could help you to stay consistent:

1.) Make a training plan. Figure out exactly what you're aiming for with your training program (are you training for strength or hypertrophy? Conditioning?), then select the training split (Fullbody | Upper Lower | Push Pull Legs | Bro Split) and exercises you're going to utilize to reach that goal (I recommend only selecting 4-6 exercises per workout. If you're doing more than that, unless you're an experienced and/or professional lifter, you're building unnecessary fatigue). Do your research here.

2.) Decide your training frequency. An extension to 1: once you've decided your training's purpose and the exercises that'll help you reach it, choose for how long this block will last. At minimum to see any sort of progress I recommend 4 weeks, but ideally something around 6-16 weeks for your training program to see substantial results is best. This is including the deloads (premeditated active rest periods), which is another thing entirely so I won't go into detail here.

Once you figure out how many weeks you're gonna go, plan how many days a week you're gonna go. Select specific days and times and treat it like it's mandatory. No matter how you're feeling or the weather or whatever, you're fuckin goin to that gym and getting the workout in. Be mindful of what your body is saying, but hold yourself accountable; don't make excuses.

3.) Have contingency plans. Let's say you've planned a training block for 5 days a week and you're going strong. But something at work comes up and it cuts your time much shorter. Instead of shrugging and going "Welp, can't go anymore I guess :/" try thinking "if I can't go 5 days, I'll go at least 4 days a week." Can't go 4 days? Go 3 days, so on. Backup plans for your backup plans. Learn to adapt to the challenges every day life brings you.

4.) Treat it like riding a bike. Weight training regardless of your goals is a long term game, and there are always gonna be ups and downs. There are gonna be times where it's hard to get back into it. Well, like falling off a bike, the best thing you can do to continue riding the bike is to get back on it. So get back on it. If you need to start slow again, then do it, because any step is still a step more than before. You'll gain momentum again, just give yourself some grace and patience.

5.) Trust the process. Because weight training is a long game, it's also a game of waiting. Visible progress is gonna take some time, so take inventory on other things to gauge it. Instead of looking at the scale or at the mirror, ask yourself how you feel. Do you feel more energized? How has your mood been lately? Do you feel a little more confident? Do you move easier? In the gym, are your numbers going up? Do the weights move easier? Do you feel focused and in the zone when in the pocket? Take inventory with yourself often and trust that you're making progress, even on days where it feels like you've stagnated.

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Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand that's all I got! I hope that answers your questions! :)

#weightlifting #powerbuilding #earthsong talks #ash talks #fitness advice

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guillemelgat · 3 months

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Language Goals 2024

Another year, another set of goals! This year, in the actual spirit of my very reasonable 2022 language goals, here are my plans for language study.

Catalan

First and foremost, my goal is to find Catalan friends in my new hometown, because I really need to speak Catalan with people at minimum once a week or I get very sad, and currently I’m not speaking it with anyone at all. This goal is pretty chill though—I just have to actually sit down and put in the time to find people.

My main goal is to read 30 books in Catalan. I’ll make a proper post about it with a list of books that I’m thinking of and how the challenge itself is going to work, but overall I’m trying to pick a mix of styles and genres, so expect anything from medieval literature to YA novels to academic texts. I have a lot of books that I’ve been meaning to read for a while, so hopefully this will give me a chance to chip into some of them. 30 books is less than other versions of this challenge that I’ve seen, but it’s also many more books than I’ve read in Catalan possibly ever and I think it’s more reasonable in conjunction with a full class load. Hopefully it ends up being just the right amount!

Welsh & Basque

This year I really want to work hard to actually get these two to an upper intermediate level, because I’m so close if I put in the work. For both of them, I have two main goals: (1) go through the textbooks/workbooks that I started going through casually last semester (Basic Welsh: A Grammar and Workbook by Gareth King and Standard Basque: A Progressive Grammar by Rudolf P.G. de Rijk) so that I can continue to review and learn new grammatical structures, and (2) watch one episode of a TV series each week in each language. For the TV series, I’m going to be watching Rownd a Rownd on S4C (which is available outside Wales/the UK! Huge win!) and Eskamak kentzen on EITB. If I have time, I’ll try to go through episodes more thoroughly and note down new vocabulary and such, but the main goal is to make a routine of it and watch consistently so I’m trying to keep it simple. I’d also like to use both languages with other people more often if I can, but I think finding a consistent language partner will perhaps be a goal for another year.

Malayalam

I’m planning to focus the first half of the year on Welsh and Basque, and then next fall, I’m hoping to be able to take the Malayalam classes offered by my university and to get into studying my home dialect (or rather, my extended family’s home dialect, since I didn’t speak it at home) as well. Since this will be later and also classroom learning rather than self-study, I’m not going to go into details, but overall, after my trip to Kerala (which I have stuff about, it’s on the docket!), I’m generally feeling much less alienated and much more motivated to study the language. I’m also looking forward to being able to take real classes, which I think will help keep me focused and on track.

Russian

This is a minor goal, but at my friend’s house over the summer, her mom was joking that if they just spoke to me in Russian while I stayed at their house, I’d probably be able to understand it by the end. That led us to concoct a plan where I study a bit of Russian vocab, then go there and do intensive Russian immersion for a weekend or so. This is more of a silly goal, but I’d like to try it because I think it could be fun.

Anki

This isn’t a language goal per se, but rather a general resolution to spend this year learning to use (and tweaking and configuring) Anki. Anki has a notoriously high barrier to entry, and from everything I’ve seen it should be treated as a long-term, intensive project—I’ll hopefully reap the rewards later if I take my time and set up everything right in the early stages. With that in mind, I’m hoping that by the end of the year I’ve figure out a set up for my decks and cards that really works for getting me to remember and be able to use vocab and grammar. I’ll focus on the languages here for the start, but I’m hoping that with habit and time, if I get a good system going I can use it with other languages too.

And that’s it! It’s been a bit since I was systematic about studying languages, but I’ve found that I really miss it and want to go back. I feel like I’m at a really good place with all of these, and I’d like to continue to make progress, so I’m really trying to focus on consistency and hitting the sweet spot of just challenging enough to get myself out of my comfort zone while not burning out. Hopefully I’ve set this up in a way to build habits and make me excited to keep immersing myself with these languages in the coming years, which is really the key to learning any language in the long term—I've realized that I speak Catalan so well because it's fully integrated into my life, and I'd like all these others to be as well. Here’s to a good 2024, and I wish all of you luck with your own goals as well!

#a few days late but whatever #i've had a lot of spatial and temporal displacement in the past two weeks i think i'm allowed this one indulgence #i am trying SO HARD to set achievable goals #i'm so so bad at it but i'm slowly getting better hopefully this will be the year #also i forgot to include this but i really do need to get my spanish back up to speed #or not even up to speed at this point i haven't studied it since high school so i need to actually learn new things #a professor in the spanish department switched back to english while talking to me because i spoke it so poorly with him :')#però és que em fa pal el castellà no el necessito per res (<- mentida)#on the other hand solomon a gaenor has completed revived my energy for studying welsh and going to kerala has done it for malayalam #which um. i didn't even realize i could be that interested in studying malayalam. wowee we have unlocked feelings and emotions lads!#anyways we'll see how this goes but i'm going to do my best :')#general:goals #catalan:goals #welsh:goals #basque:goals #malayalam:goals #russian:goals

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tokidokitokyo · 11 months

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2023年4月30日

This month was again very busy! Do I ever have not-busy months? Probably not! I still accomplished quite a bit, but I didn't do everything I had planned to do. One thing that I noticed though was that my reading skill and my listening skill have progressed because of incorporating reading and listening into my daily practice routine. I picked back up a manga I had started a year ago and found that it was easier to read this time. I also realized I am able to pick up more from news and other TV programmes now. The key is really just practicing consistently! It feels good to see tangible progress, and that motivates me even more.

今月はまた忙しかったです！忙しくない時はあるのかな？多分ない！今月は結構勉強が進めて良かったです。すべての目的には成功できなくても、まだまだ進んでいます。今月気づいたのは読解力と聴解力が結構上がったと思います。毎日ちょっとだけでも読んだり聞いたりするので、日課に入っていることになりました。そして去年読み始めようとした漫画を今月また読み続いたら、去年より楽になったって気づきました。最近ニュースや色んなテレビ番組を見ると、前より全然簡単に理解ができるって気づきました。毎日ちょっとずつ勉強するのはポイントです。具体的に成長を感じるのもモチベーションになります！

My 2023 Goals Progress

I laid out some broad goals for my Japanese study in my 2023 Japanese Language Goals post, so again I will update my progress towards these goals.

1. Read one page a day of 日本の歴史366 (にほんのれきし366) everyday in 2023.

How is it going? Good! In March my reading fell behind due to work and illness, and I didn't exactly catch up in April, but I am trying to continue even though I missed quite a few days and have not yet been able to read them. The goal is reading everyday, and although I really wanted to stay in order and to stay on top of it, sometimes things happen! I'll keep reading a page a day and catch up where I can.

2. Finish 日本語総まとめ N3 (にほんごそうまとめ N3) workbooks.

How is it going? Good! I have been working one of the four workbooks (Vocabulary, Kanji, Grammar, Listening) into my schedule several nights a week (mostly weekend nights!). I have worked through Week 4 out of 6, so I am close to the end of these workbooks! I am also taking more time to review them, so I can do fewer pages at a time but I feel like I am getting more out of them. I read each day's lesson carefully before I tackle the questions, and then I pick up each workbook again throughout the week and just read through the questions again.

3. Review and learn the first 6 levels of the 常用漢字 (じょうようかんじ), specifically the 教育漢字 (きょういくかんじ) up to grade 6.

How is it going? Not great. I definitely did not pick back up specifically the 常用漢字 in April, so I will try it again in May! Tbh, I just forgot to focus on these during my kanji studies and was more focused on vocabulary words ^^;

4. Read at least one book every two months.

How is it going? Not great. I am very behind on the books that I wanted to complete by the first half of this year. I lost motivation in March or so and haven't been able to pick them back up. I was reading them slowly and mining for vocabulary/kanji, which takes a lot of time that I don't have. I have been reading other books sporadically (although I haven't finished any) and I have been reading manga and articles semi-regularly. I thought this goal would be easier than trying to read a book each month, but it's still a lot for me. It's ok to change your goals, and next month I'll try to reformulate this goal to make it work for me.

5. Improve my speaking and writing by finding a tutor.

How is it going? It could be better. April was busier than I thought! I hope to find a tutor in May, but I find it difficult to find someone who suits my needs (and my time constraints). I hope to have better news on this next month! Wish me luck!

6. Study Japanese for at least 10 minutes a day.

How is it going? Good! Variation in my study schedule is the key to keeping up a daily Japanese study goal. If I'm tired, manga or an article, or a quick flashcard session, are quick ways to practice. If I have extra time I squeeze in a workbook lesson. Finding lots of little ways to practice helps me to stay interested and to stay motivated.

April Study Log

April was another busy month, so let's see how I did!

Vocabulary - This month I spent a lot more time practicing vocabulary. Not only did I write down words and look up words I didn't know, I also tried to conscientiously incorporate new words into my daily conversation. This helped me to remember them as well as to figure out what situations I would use them in.

Listening - I spent a lot of time with podcasts (during my commute) and TV/movies (with my son!) so I got a lot of listening practice in. I did realize the other day that I find it easier to listen to even more fast-paced or advanced TV shows, etc. That was a nice realization!

Kanji - I slacked off on kanji and definitely did not focus on school-age kanji. I honestly just forgot, and didn't have much time to commit new kanji to memory. I'll try again next month!

Speaking - We had a lot of play dates and so I got in a lot of speaking practice. The more I speak the more comfortable I am and the more information I can convey. This is definitely something I'd like to work on with a tutor!

Grammar, Reading, & Writing - I would like to incorporate these more into my daily studies, but they have really dropped off my radar recently. I have been quite busy and very tired as a result, so I am not going to be too hard on myself.

Going Forward in May

Continue working through N3 総まとめ workbooks as often as possible

Work more on 漢字 and specifically focus on the 教育漢字

Get an italki (or other?) tutor that suits my needs

Review and practice 3 grammar points per week

Next month I will really try to stick to the goals I have set and I hope to have a better report. But I still think that any progress is good progress, so let's keep working towards our goals! See you next month!

来月はもうちょっと目的に集中したいと思いますが、目的を超えなくても成功ができると思っています。そしてまだまだ勉強を進んで頑張りましょう！また来月！

#日本語 #japanese #japanese language #japanese langblr #japanese studyblr #langblr #studyblr #日本語の日記 #japanese diary #japanese goals 2023 #japanese studyspo #tokidokitokyo #tdtphoto #my photo #japanese goals april 2023

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art-of-manliness · 4 months

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5 Lessons From the Iron

Back in 2015, I started weightlifting seriously. Over eight years of training, I was able to get strong. But more importantly, I discovered a hobby that brought me immense satisfaction. While I don’t barbell train like I used to, I still religiously lift weights. During my eight years of serious training, I’ve learned some important life lessons from the iron. Below, I share five of them. 1. Success Comes From a Long Obedience in the Same Direction When people decide to get serious with exercise, they tend to focus on the minutiae of their new regimen. People spend a lot of time looking for the right program and the right equipment. They think they’ll see incredible gains if they find the optimal set and rep range. But there’s something just as, if not more important, than the training program you choose: Being consistent with it for months and even years. How did I deadlift 600 pounds? I trained consistently for six years. Sure, my programming changed during that time, but the thing that didn’t change was me going down to my garage four times a week to train. The necessity of consistency applies to every other endeavor in life. I’ve used the consistency principle to lose 30 pounds this year. I didn’t do any crash dieting. I just gradually reduced my calories and stuck to my macro target almost every day for eight months. That’s it. When people ask me for advice about their online business, they often ask me about the tools and tricks Kate and I use that helped us get AoM to where it is today. Keeping up with the latest trends in technology, marketing, and social media hasn’t been nearly as important as simply sticking to our publishing schedule; for coming up on sixteen years now, we’ve published several pieces of content nearly every single week. AoM isn’t slick, flashy, or even particularly cool, but it is consistent. As Nietzsche put it, “everything of the nature of freedom, elegance, boldness . . . and masterly certainty”; everything to do with “virtue, art, music, dancing, reason, spirituality”; everything “that is transfiguring,” that makes “life worth living,” is premised on one thing: A “long obedience in the same direction.” The trick is figuring out ways to stay consistent over the long haul. When it comes to exercising, we’ve written about how to work out while you’re on vacation, sick, or simply don’t feel like it. There’s plenty of good advice there, and I think it carries over to other parts of life, too. But the real secret for staying consistent over the long haul is that . . . 2. You Got to Have Ganas Ganas is Spanish for desire. I’ve written about the centrality of ganas in finding success in whatever you do. Most of the things I’ve achieved in life were because I really wanted to accomplish those things. I had ganas for those goals. A big reason I was able to deadlift 600 pounds is that I really, really wanted to deadlift 600 lbs. That strong desire was what compelled me to rarely miss a workout for four years. My coach could give me programming and offer corrections on technique, but he couldn’t make me want to go after a 600-lb deadlift. I had to have the desire myself. Discipline is really harped on these days as the key to success. Discipline is one way to achieve the consistency that’s essential to reaching your goals. But constantly exercising self-control is exhausting. A better way to stay consistent is to operate with inherent motivation — to enjoy the thing you’re doing so that you want to do the thing that will lead to success. What William George Jordan said about duty applies to discipline as well: Duty is a hard, mechanical process for making men do things that love would make easy. It is a poor understudy to love. It is not a high enough motive with which to inspire humanity. Duty is the body to which love is the soul. Love, in the divine alchemy of life, transmutes all duties into privileges, all responsibilities into joys. I loved going for big PRs, which is why I could be… http://dlvr.it/T0301h

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aheathen-conceivably · 10 months

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Hi Alexis! I was wondering if you could share some tips for when you're feeling burnt out or just not interested in the sims? I'm in a burnout era rn and it's like I want to PLAY and TELL MY STORIES but I just feel the task of editing and writing to be so daunting right now :(

Hello there, dearest Nonny! 💕

Thank you so much for asking this because I absolutely think it’s something all of us simmers struggle with from time to time. I know I’ve gone through a few burnout eras both big and small and can definitely feel myself entering another one as we speak, so I’m more than happy to help!

Now a bit of a caveat: these are my tips and tricks. I know everyone is different and some of these may not work for everyone. So if anyone wants to leave their own tips in the comments below please do, I would love to read them!

I’m going to put the whole rant under the cut because who could have guessed it…it’s going to be long! 😅

1. Have A Plan:

This is absolutely going to be my most divisive bit of advice, because I’ve talked to other simmers who have told me that this alone would cause burnout for them, but for me it’s probably the no. 1 thing that keeps me posting. I have a detailed calendar of my post schedule, usually about 2-3 months in advance, that helps me stay on track and keep focused. Sometimes I will move things around a day or two or even push it back a full week when I need to, but overall I stick to it.

This is definitely because I am a planner, but if I have a difficult shoot or don’t want to edit, I can easily look at the calendar and go “Okay but in two posts you’re going to get to the scene you’re really excited about.” Or when I know I have a huge shoot coming up and can budget my time accordingly. This also means when I have more time or energy I can shoot through a few scenes and know that I’m set for a week or two to relax and everything is done for those posts.

Planning will probably look different for everyone, but I really do think it’s helpful to have something tangible and attainable to look forward to in those moments you’re feeling unmotivated.

2. Find What Keeps you Motivated and Lean In:

This is crucial for me and arguably what has kept my story going for so long. I have this story written decades in advance, and knowing those points I want to get to and dynamics I want to explore keeps me motivated when I’m feeling down.

However, for you, it may be precisely the opposite. Just the element of gameplay or the unknown may be engaging, or perhaps simply a certain lot that you’ve downloaded or era of clothing. It is important to remember there’s no right way to tell your story, so structuring your own time and efforts around what you like, even if it means changing stuff halfway through, is crucial to making this enjoyable and sustainable.

Sometimes for me it’s smaller motivations, and I’m really into building or CAS or character development for a few days or weeks at a time. I’ll play around with how my posts are told or even what I’m doing in the background (getting my next gen CC folder ready, building a lot, doing an ask game). Switching gears into what’s interesting to me at that moment can revive my interest in the story overall and prevent a burnout in the long term.

The same is true in inverse. If there’s an element that is standing in the way of the hobby bringing you fulfillment, it may not be as necessary as you think. Recently for me I also had a bit of burnout with editing, and this is a huge reason why I finally downloaded reshade. Now my editing time is cut back immensely and I find myself reinspired by taking screenshots and have leaned further into landscape shots and just aesthetic filler.

3. TAKE BREAKS:

Yes, this is in all caps. Yes, it is the most important. Posting our pixel stories is a surprisingly mentally draining hobby, so you absolutely have to give your brain and creativity a rest from time to time. When you start feeling that it’s consistently a chore, that’s a sure fire sign that it’s time to take a break.

Now for me (because of the schedule) sometimes y’all won’t even see when I take a little break. It might mean that I take a week or two away from the game but I’ll have the posts done in advance so there’s no gap in posting. It also means I can just push things back a bit if needed; then when I’m feeling ready to go again, I know exactly where I left off and what the next steps are.

The latter is probably where the schedule is most important to me, as I do feel like a lot of simmers take necessary breaks but have difficulty knowing how to pick back up again. I personally strive to take longer breaks at the end of an arc (like when Florence left New Orleans in 1925). This gives me a feeling of satisfaction, like I left the story on a good note and am free to take however much time I need without the pressure to return that I left something unfinished. It also means I know exactly what I’m returning to, and can do necessary preparations like lot building or pose downloading before I even start posting again.

—

But overall I will reiterate what I said above: if you have a story to tell or gameplay to share or edits to make they are your creations and you should always view them as such.

Sharing here can sometimes be a bit of an odd juxtaposition, where you feel like you need to have a certain look or a certain caliber of posts or even a certain frequency. Finding the way this hobby brings you the most fulfillment is absolutely what is most important, and that way you want to return after those moments of burnout because it is still something that you enjoy doing.

#sorry this took me a while dearest Nonny!#I wanted to give it a little thought ☺️#resources #ask #answered

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asyastudieskorean · 3 months

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1.09.2024 — You can't hear it, but I’m sighing right now.🤦‍♀️

When the professor said we would have a chapter lecture and quiz every week, I assumed that meant 1 chapter per week, and I was like, okay great, we're doing more of the textbook and learning more per week than last quarter. This is what I am here for. With this assumption, I did the whole chapter last week and all the exercises and listening tasks. And I did find it odd when doing the quiz that only the first couple of pages were covered. Mind you, there's not really any context on how to approach these chapters or what pages/exercises we should specifically do. Each week, there's a lecture and quiz, that's it until midterm/final tests/projects start. There's virtually no homework or textbook checks so far, so who knows if other students are even doing the actual textbook work beyond reading it.

So, Tuesday, today, I went to look at the week’s lecture’s powerpoint, and it says this week covers pages 114-115… Are you serious now?? Each week we are covering 2, maybe 3, pages? And the lectures just repeat what can already be read from the textbook?

So, hold my triple shot, you’re saying I’ve done about 4 weeks of work by doing one chapter and now, besides the weekly quizzes that take 5-10 minutes, I have nothing new to learn? Bro. And let alone we only get new vocab biweekly, and this is usually 15 basic words.

I do not understand why the course is set to go so slow, I really don't. After Korean 1, we should all have the basic skills to learn new grammar at a faster pace. Man, if she didn’t have the upcoming weeks locked on Canvas, I could easily finish this course in 2 to3 weeks if it is always going to be this way.

It honestly feels like I paid 4 digits for this course for which a couple YouTube videos could have covered. I can work through the textbook pretty much on my own at this point, so I took this college-level course assuming there would be important additional learning that you can't get on your own with just a textbook.

I’m honestly getting really worried that I’m paying for such simple, slow-paced courses, and I won’t be anywhere near fluent by the end of the 2-year program that I am doing. Unfortunately, these Korean courses follow a progression each quarter, otherwise, I would ask how I could skip a class to the next level. I am nowhere near advanced; I am a basic beginner, but even still, the pace of this course is kind of ridiculous.

And you might be thinking, well, 에샤 씨, why don't you just learn by yourself and do more outside of the course? Well, homegirl, I am taking (and PAYING) for these courses because I thought they would give me a better learning environment and faster learning than on my own. The way I learn, and with my other personal and work priorities, I need the class environment, with check-ins, weekly assignments, quizzes, professor engagement -- you get it. I need these to stay motivated and to keep myself accountable to consistent, progressive learning. I can only hope it gets better as the course progresses.

#college student #korean language #studying #studyblr #language student #studying at home #language study #online student #student #korean

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peistudies · 1 year

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Question for you: how do you go about learning in an efficient way? I want to get a tutor or even find a friend, but I also am super nervous about who I talk to on the internet. Any suggestions?

Hi! Thanks for the ask, it means a lot! This question is gonna take a bit of unpacking.

For me, learning efficiently is all about keeping a consistent routine that utilizes SRS and mnemonics.

My study routine consists of three components:

Reviews. Staying on top of them is important to ensure you're actually memorizing the material rather than just seeing it. I always finish them before learning new content to make sure I'm not overwhelming myself.

A bare minimum daily amount of learning material to make sure I'm making progress

Immersion. Something unique and entertaining to stay motivated (such as watching an anime with Japanese subtitles, reading a graded reader, listening to a podcast or Japanese music, etc.).

Let's focus on the first two.

For both reviewing and learning, consistency is so important. Rather than cramming content all at once, do it in bite sized, manageable pieces more frequently. Sometimes I'll do reviews up to 3 times in a day, taking like 5 minutes each time, which is actually much easier than doing it all at once (which may end up taking 30 minutes simply because my attention span isn't that long).

Consistency is not only effective for reviewing, but for learning as well. This is because the our brains only take in so much information at once. Of course we can hack this a bit with memory devices, but still, lightening the load usually works better if you're trying to memorize something long-term. An example is, rather than cramming 30 words in one sitting and working on them for the next week, learn 5 every day and end up knowing 35 words (and well) by the end of the week. Besides, the less content you learn or review at once, the less intimidating it is, and therefore the less likely it is for you to procrastinate.

Be aware that this is for active study. It's perfectly okay to absorb more content outside of that through immersion!

The study routine I mentioned above would not be possible for me without WaniKani and Bunpro (not to be confused with Bunpo, which is an entirely different app which I heavily dislike because it locks practically everything behind a paywall). I like these two because they have a course already built in, in +1 order, and are designed to be efficient. And, you don't have to waste any time thinking about what you should learn or how you should learn it. I could write a separate post vouching for these two sites honestly, that's how much I like them. I pay the 5 dollars a month for each of them, but Bunpro offers everything except SRS for free, and WaniKani offers up to the 3rd level for free, which I highly recommend you try.

Another honorable mention is Anki. It's definitely a far more versatile flashcard system because you can make your own decks and download shared decks. There's a lot of amazing decks for Japanese, such as the Tango decks, which teach you grammar and vocabulary through example sentences. However there is quite a steep learning curve for it, and the iOS app is 20 bucks. It's free everywhere else though.

As for talking to people, I think it's important to consider what's making you nervous. The answer will help you know how to proceed. If you think it's because your Japanese isn't strong enough yet and you don't want to embarrass yourself, there are two options. Do it anyway, or wait a little bit and then do it anyway. However, the concern with the latter is that the longer you wait, the more your anxiety (and therefore avoidance) may grow. I say, let anonymity be on your side so that there's no serious repercussions if you mess up (not that there would be anyway), and just throw yourself in a call, despite your fear. Remember to be kind to yourself and stay positive. Mistakes are okay!

If your fear is simply people being creepy, then still use anonymity, and possibly try group settings, such as discord learning server, or paid tutors, such as on iTalki or Cambly. I recommend those because being in a group setting may help take some of the pressure off, and a professional tutor doesn't want to get low ratings and is far less likely to make you feel uncomfortable in any way. I'd avoid HelloTalk and Tandem unless you don't mind disguising your profile (otherwise you'll be blocking a few creeps here and there).

If you're interested in joining a server, please don't hesitate to give this one a try!

Here's my current minimum daily routine: Finish all reviews on Bunpro Finish all reviews on WaniKani Learn +2 grammar points on Bunpro Learn new lessons on WaniKani (it's okay if I don't finish them all at once, just like a bare minimum of 10 lessons). Learn +15 words on Bunpro Vocabulary (Currently in Beta) - so far I don't recommend this, Anki would most likely work better for vocabulary.

If you're still lost, please don't hesitate to ask a followup question and/or consider reading this article!

#Japanese grammar #Japanese N4 grammar #N4 grammar #intermediate japanese #beginner japanese #review japanese #review japanese grammar #langblr #studyblr #japanese langblr #japanese studyblr #study japanese #learn japanese #bunpro #peistudies #nihongo

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imogenleewriter · 1 year

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hello hi, i've got a question, what keeps you going while writing? i admire your consistency!

Hey!

Super valid question that I'm not entirely sure I have an answer to. Or maybe I have too many answers.

I'm going to give short ones (because I keep trying to answer this and writing a novel) but if you want me to elaborate I can.

1) Deadlines. If I don't have deadlines, I just waste time staring at a blank screen, and that's more stressful than forcing myself to get words down.

2) Writing stuff that matters to me. Before ychiits, I tried writing 1000 things with amazing plots and could never finish any of them. If you think about it, ychiits actual plot is so mundane, but for that, the characters were what mattered to me and a complicated plot would have taken away from that. The two wips mean different things to me as well. Writing fanfiction falls into that as well. I have no desire to write original works because writing Larry fanfiction means more to me.

3) General techniques that work for me. I could probably write an essay on this, but basically, I have so many strategies to get myself to write based on my mood.

4) Comments. I doubt I'd be close to as productive without comments and interactions. I probably get over 250 comments a week across all four fics now, and it's hard not to stay motivated when that happens. But at the start of ychiits I was getting like 4-5 comments per chapter, and that was still as motivating! (So please comment on every fic you love).

5) Planning. ychiits has a full draft. My current WIPs are less so because I found I didn't copy a single sentence from ychiits so it seemed silly to have a 100k draft when I only referred to it for scenes/chapters. So now I just focus on a general plot. My study looks like a serial killer den because of all the posters and cork boards and white boards where I keep all the plans. So, if i get stuck on a chapter, I write out everything I want to include in it. The more stuck I am, the more I flesh out the plan.

6) Talking things through with others. I started Ychiits because I know anyone in the fandom at all, so I was completely alone and didn't have a single beta until the last chapter when @hereforh and @enchantedlandcoffee looked through it as readers to make sure it all aligned so you can definitely do it without this. But now, because I have friends, lol, if I get stuck on a scene or chapter, I have people to talk to and bounce ideas off them and check they think what I'm writing makes sense. I've mentioned in my AN, but @hereforh and I have a constant chat - different time zones - and at least half of the time we're talking about fic ideas etc. @nooradeservedbetter also gives me amazing advice when I'm stuck.

7) Privilege. I don't know how to talk about this without sounding like I'm bragging. However, my job is after-hours. So, I don't work during the day on weekdays. It's a well-paying job, so I don't work full-time - my hourly rate is about double what it was when I worked in a hospital. Some of my shifts are being on-call overnight. This means I spend 10 hours in my study but only have to work when I get a call (that being said, I'm not very productive after 2am, so it doesn't help that much). There is still a need for me to bring in income, and does still take away hours from writing, but I obviously have more time to write than I did when I was working full-time.

8) Lack of sleep. Okay, so realistically, I need just as much sleep as everyone else, I know that. But I seem to survive better than most people would on the same amount of sleep.

9) Supportive husband. I mean, he's never read a word I've written or anything, but he is supportive in the sense that he knows writing is something I value and doesn't talk down about it. I think he'd be just as supportive if I were actually making an income from it as he is about it being fanfiction.

10) ADHD diagnosis and meds. Even medicated, my ADHD is still a big challenge to writing. It might not seem like that because of the frequency that I upload, but it still does. For example, I'll click out of the document to google a word or something and straight away get side-tracked, and after an hour, I'll remember that I was writing and come back to the document and realise I still didn't even google the word and the process starts all over again. But knowing that my brain works differently helps - i.e I know I can only write in 20-minute blocks, and then I need a break. That probably falls more into point three, but I know my limitations now. And ADHD meds still help bring me up to a point where I can actually finish things.

11) Letting go of perfectionism. Could my work be 10x better than it is? Yes. But when I'm writing and uploading 20k+ words a week, I don't have time to try and get every sentence perfect. The thing is, perfectionism freezes me. I probably would give myself more time between deadlines if I was sure that I would use that time to perfect chapters. But I either would still wait until the last minute and not use the extra time, or I'd get too wrapped up in getting every word perfect that I'd still miss every deadline. There are plenty of "good enough" words, sentences, paragraphs, and scenes in my fics that I know could be better, but I just don't have time to spend twenty minutes trying to find the right word or the best sentence structure. I hope that makes sense.

Anyway, this is still long af but I hope it helps a little. Happy to elaborate on any points - because I could definitely right about this all day - but again, it's already long af and I'm not sure if it is helpful at all lol.

#anon #answered anon #writing advice

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aftgficrec · 2 years

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Do you know of any fics where Andrew and Neil get kid/s, either having them themselves, adopting, or one of them having a younger sibling they need to take care of?

(Preferably not abandoned)

Thank you so much.

Oh, there are so, so many fics about Andreil with kids or siblings! Our previous posts contain many complete fics, but who knows of a complimentary comment or kudos on an older wip wouldn’t provide the author with the encouragement and motivation to continue?

The fics included in this post are either complete, or have been recently updated. And don’t forget the behemoth that is ‘Blame It On My Youth’ (previously rec’ed here), a wip that updates consistently and currently stands at over 1 million words! - S

Also see …

Andreil dad aus here

recent Andreil with kids here

long complete Andreil with kids here

Andreil adopt Kevin here

Andreil fostering/adopting here

cute parental Andreil here

complete Andreil as parents here

Andreil with a kid before meeting here

Andreil and Kandreil with kids here

K(andreil) fostering here

new single parent/domestic with kids here

kid fics here

new kid fics (parental) here

the minyards with long lost siblings or kids here

Neil with a kid/younger sibling here

Neil with a twin here

Neil with a brother/sibling here

Neil with a sister here

Neil with a half-sister here

Foxes taking in a younger sibling here

‘Pinch of Salt’ here

‘A Home for the Holidays’ here

‘Say You'll Stay’ here

‘I could carve you in my dermis’ here

‘My Brother's Keeper’ here

‘where the heart is’ series, ‘Forming a Family; Forging a Future,’ and ‘We Are Survivors’ here

‘"Do you see my old man’s scowl? That’s his nice face…"’ here

‘Meant to Be Loved’ here

‘spilt coffee and bumped heads’ here

‘Bean.’ (a/b/o with mpreg) here

‘All Hail the Underdogs’ here

‘Growing With You’ here

Big Brother, I'm Just Like You by hoziertozier [Rated T, 16312 words, incomplete, last updated March 2022]

What if Neil got a call weeks, months after Baltimore, that he had a little sister? Well, this series of vignettes shows how he and the other Foxes would adjust to having a kid around, and also gives a new point of view on Neil, Andrew, and the Foxes.

Everyone, meet Charlotte Josten.

(this originally started as posts on my tumblr, and i'm still gonna make those but i'm moving it onto here as well for ease of navigation. very self-indulgent, i'm very passionate about these characters healing slowly goddamnit!)

tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: nightmares, tw: panic attacks

Jostens And Minyards by Flaunt_the_weird [Not Rated, 21713 words, incomplete, last updated March 2022]

“And why did you sign me up?” he asked, drawing her attention back to him.

“Would you believe me if I said it was supposed to be a prank?” Nyla asked him with an innocent, almost sheepish, expression that did not fool Neil for a second. He was having words with her once they get out of here.

“Did you or did you not?” Neil asked again.

“Did” she replied, this time her eyes flickered with concern.

“Nyla I presume?” asked Wymack.

AFTG but they all have to babysit while fighting the mafia.

tw: canon-typical violence, tw: internalised homophobia

and there is happiness. by smokeandspirits [Rated G, 881 words, complete, 2022]

She wonders if this is what it means to be happy. Happiness - that word that never meant much to her because it was the definition of a feeling and it was a feeling Piper had never felt. She wants to know if that is what she's feeling now; if happiness is bubbles in your chest like fizzy lemonade, is warmth like the sun on your skin, is your face aching because you're smiling and smiling and smiling. So she does something she was never allowed to do with Ma and Pa - she asks.

~~~~

Neil and Andrew adopt a daughter; this is her realising they make the best parents (because i believe they would)

After You Two by Fox_Fan13 [Not Rated, 13482 words, incomplete*, last updated Feb 2022]

Neil is forced to have a child after his father kidnaps him, but after his father hurts his son, he decides to take things into his own hands and has him killed. After getting out safely with his uncle, they move to London with him, but decides to move back after reconnecting with his old roommate Matt.

He goes, not knowing that his first heartbreak was still living in the small town of Palmetto.

tw: child abuse, tw: violence

*there’s only an epilogue to come

It’s like being smashed in the stomach by allforthegayz [Not Rated, 3346 words, complete, 2021]

She took the seat and pulled out her jotter, reading what was on the board and listened to the teacher talk. It’s fine. She could get through this. She took a sip of her water and focused on getting the work done.

Only an hour till break, you’ll be fine.

Post-canon, Andrew and Neil have two daughters and one of them feels sick and calls Andrew to come pick her up. Andrew comforting his daughter + soft Andreil aka what you get from me when i’m angst about my period.

Big brown eyes by LukaHatsune [Not Rated, 3354 words, complete, 2021]

"But there was something, something like acceptance.

Nina accepted Neil before they could even figure it out, something like an automatic connection, something that might have happened between him and Aaron if they had stayed together or met earlier. Nina looked at Neil and blinked, lying her head on his shoulder soon after, Nicky made a sound that sounded like a cat meow that called King Fluffkins and Sir Fat Cat straight into the room.

Andrew would later discover that only Aaron had seen something that seemed close to a smile pulling on his face."

Andrew and Neil adopt a little girl.

the one that got away (now stay) by neilwrites [Rated T, 5792 words, complete, Aftg Exchange 2021]

Andrew fiddles with his keychain. “Oh, you know, I’m not sure if we’ll be able to make it.”

“Oh, no! Are the girls okay?”

Andrew turns around to watch as Hazel drools on her shirt and Sienna takes turns between giggling and shrieking at an inhuman frequency.

He didn’t think far enough ahead to create an excuse to go back home. Fuck.

“It’s just that the meeting will start in five minutes—” Renee says, dangerously neutral.

“I know, maybe next week—”

“— and I can see the Mas parked out front.”

Damn it.

---

Andrew Minyard, forced to attend a 'Single Parent Support Group' meeting by his best friend, Renee Walker, unexpectedly comes face to face with his old teenage crush. Although looking at him (and Renee), it's not so unexpected to him. Just where have you been, Neil Josten? And where did that four-year-old carbon copy of you come from?

tw: implied/referenced violence

We Are Family by LufwoodEmilius [Rated T, 23052 words, complete, Aftg Big Bang 2021]

Andrew and Neil never considered having a family. Not until other Foxes began and then family suddenly became important. Look into the little family moments of the Minyard-Josten family from birth until age ten. Chaos ensues but also warm family moments. They never knew that being fathers would be so good.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLj4t8aGZLva5KKy85DsgmUmXsrgqgYTI8

For an additional bit of fun I made a playlist for the fic as well.

Thanks to caraleadraws for doing the art. And RainbowObsidian for betaing this mega fic!!!! You two rock!

NB: art for this fic by @caraleadraws here

blood on their teeth by foxholedumbasses (everyonedeservesamiracle) [Rated T, 6558 words, complete, 2021]

Marian wakes up to her mother’s steely face and her younger brother’s sleepy one. She is the one who stays awake in the car with Mary as Nathaniel slips back into dreams. She is the one who asks, “Where are we going?”

And she knows Mary’s smile is fake when Mary replies, “An adventure.”

Katelyn Williams is born as Marian Ophelia Wesninski and the world shifts sideways

What if Neil had a younger sister? by @the-high-queen-emory [tumblr, 2022]

okay, i feel like this headcanon is popping up more and more and I have some things to add to it

Wesninski Brothers Au by @you-are-a-fox [tumblr, 2018]

(Just something I thought of. Don’t know if it’s been done before.)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Neil and Aiden Wesninski art

tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: violence

Aiden Wesninski by @you-are-a-fox [tumblr, 2018]

Part 1, Part 2

Aiden Wesninski art

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radioactive-earthshine · 2 years

Note

You wrote a 27,000 word fic in a week??? 😭😭😭 Bestie please tell me your secret. I have a great idea for a fic and even an original story but when I try to write I get maybe 1000words then stop. Or I'll post a fic that's around 1400 words and no one comments and I'll stop writing for months. Please tell me how you stay motivated to write so much! Also I really am loving Sunshine Falling.

It was about 10 days but I completely understand where your feelings are coming from. I think a lot of people do.

Just as a disclaimer what I am about to tell you works for ME personally and it might not work for you, everyone is different and their motivations are different but this is just what works for me.

1.) STOP writing for validation and others entirely. STOP looking for feedback and praise. Write the stories YOU want to tell or the stories YOU want to see. Those who will like it, will read it. Accept that NO ONE comments. Even if they LOVE your work more than anything, even if it makes their heart literally gallop, even if it makes them sob before bed and FEEL things; they. will. not. comment. Just accept it, and move on. Essentially stop caring about other's opinions. The lack of feedback does not equate to your ability as a writer.

2.) Remind yourself that an 'idea' is worth maybe 10 cents. The EFFORT is what is worth millions. You could have the most original idea since Pinocchio but it means nothing if you don't write it so others can see it.

3.) One word at a time. A lot of people put unrealistic goals for themselves and when they don't meet them they get really discouraged, but also if they don't have any goals a lot of people will get anxiety about just not working because there is no goal. Just write. Accept some days you might write 2,000 words, and others only 200, maybe one day you only edit and tweak what you wrote, that's fine. Just write. one. word. at. a. time. until you're done. I myself do have a small, reasonable goal of 500 words a night. No, I do not do this consistently.

4.) Do not write on a white background.

This is the (ahem) start of the next chapter of Sunshine.Falling. that I have not worked on yet (I was working on The Lighthouse fic for 10 days.)

I only ever write on a black background because WHITE is too clinical, to judgey, too institutional, too much like my daytime JOB where error is not something that is acceptable. Switching to a black background for me helps tremendously because it just takes away all the anxiety and edge off. It comes off more as writing in a forum, or to a friend on a chat program, instead of in a clinical environment. In fact, I do everything that is not work related in a dark mode.

5.) Noise cancelling headphones and ambient music. Tell the world to STFU for a while so you can be without distraction. Post rock and lofi is your friend - or those "most epic/beautiful/emotional music" channels too.

I hope that at least one of these will help. Ultimately your brain is your brain and what works works. I know it's impossible to just shut off caring and wanting validation but for me it just... works.

Happy writing and thank you for stopping by and reading.

Now, I'm off to write 500 words, one word at a time.

#writing #writing tips #writing advice

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julemmaes · 1 year

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Your on a year abroad?! That’s so cool which country is it in? I’m glad ur having a good time - i have a year abroad next yr I am TERRIFIED 😭😭 any tips???

You signed up for this, but I'm still sorry it came out this long, so... sorry:)

I'm actually doing Erasmus if you know what that is. If you don't, the quick explanation is "your home country and university pay you to study abroad for a period of time that goes from 5 months to 11".

I'm almost halfway through my stay in Valencia, Spain, and I've had my highs and lows. I'm very attached to my family and I have a very very V E R Y large and close group of friends that I used to spend my entire days with, so at the beginning of the stay all I wanted to do was go back to Italy. I went home for a couple of days at the end of October and it nearly destroyed me coming back here (I literally just got to my apartment after spending three weeks at home and I'm numb but in a good way), to the point where I was considering giving up on the scholarship and cut the lease. My friends were supportive as fuck in that decision and my family has no idea I was doing that bad, but then I booked a trip to Morocco for December and from there it was honestly like a smooth ride. My days started to look brighter (let me romanticize my life) and I had way more motivation that I could have hoped for in that period.

I'm so mentally unstable that many of my friends doubted I could make it out alive, but I'm handling myself and reminding myself every day I'm just a 20yo living on her own for the first time, 1500km from her home and family. Which might not be that weird for some, might look like the end of the world for others. I'm in between that.

I recognize the chance I was given and the fact that this opportunity is not something I should take for granted, hence why I decided to stay in the end. This isn't forever. It's just a couple of months where I can push my limits and see where I stand in the world and what I wanna do with my life.

I'm not gonna lie and say everything is perfect cause I fucking hate my roommates and the way uni things are handled and having to buy water and walk from the groceries to my house with a 30km pack in my arms every time. But it's worth it. It's so worth it.

The people you meet. The places you get to see. Nobody stops you. You're your own person. You get to really find out what free will is (and let me tell you I did some weird as fuck things since I have no one controlling what I do), (like eating mandarins and only mandarins for three days straight—do not reccomend), (eat consistently).

Tips I'd give out are:

1. Check free card or student discounts for transportation. I literally paid zero (0) euros since I got here for the metro, bus, tram cause Valencia is perfect and people under 30 don't pay shit.

2. Every event your school or university offers, go. It's the fastest and best way to meet new people without having to worry of strangers on the internet.

3. This is controversial and really personal, so I'll give you the tip everybody gets and then my personal experience. A) Make friends fast as soon as you get there cause otherwise groups will be formed and you'll be alone forever. B) Don't worry too much about that cause you're constantly meeting new people every single day. Some you will find lame, some you will want to strangle and some will become your lifelong friends.

4. Let yourself feel and don't neglect your body. It's easy to forget you're not on a very long holiday and sometimes I lose sight of that as well. You're tired? Sleep. Don't feel guilty for not going out with your friends for the fifth night on a row. You're angry cause your roommate didn't throw out the trash on his day? Send him that fucking text cursing him through the seven realms of hell (idek if they're seven). You miss you bed and your pillow? Cry.

Remember it's okay if you feel sad AND happy at the same time. Those two emotions being contraries to each other doesn't mean they can't coexist. I'm constantly feeling grateful for being here and homesick cause I wish I was in my parents bed gossiping with them. I'm always anxious I'm missing out on everything going on back home while signing my lungs out at a club with my friends. I've had two long months where I was guilty 24/7 cause I wouldn't let myself feel any of those emotions and end up depressed.

Just, feel.

5. If you'll live on your own, grocery shop smartly. Don't over buy. The food will still be there in the shop the next time you go. But it WILL get moldy and spoiled if you buy it and then don't have enough time to eat it.

6. If your program offers weekends trips (even daily trips) go on them cause it's the best choice ever. I took one on the third day I was here and I meet the one person that later became my very bestest friend ever. They might be pricey but it's worth it.

7. Be ready to be disappointed by many things. Not everything will go as planned and not everything will be as you imagined it. And that's okay. Brace yourself for failure and accept things as they come. If you have no control over it, it's useless to stress about it.

8. Idk which country you're going to, but make the most of it and travel around. Find some friends with the same will go explore and take trains, busses and cars to wherever. Even the city you live in might have some secret gems, you just need to look for them.

I'm literally sleepwalking at this point, so I think this is enough, but don't hesitate to send other asks or dm me directly if you ever need something❤❤

#i got an aask #personal #ire

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thekranke · 1 year

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October Fanfic Rec Prompts

I was inspired to share some fanfic recommendations thanks to this weekly prompt list originally made by @piratejenna. My week 1 recommendations are extremely belated but alas here they are.

The prompt in question was “Fics you’ve read more times than you can count” and or “Fics you’ve stayed up reading later than you should have.”

As a final note: These are mainly for the fandoms of Touhou, Fire Emblem and Mili.

Touhou Project:

Tipsy Words: Nightly Stroll of Moon Goddess and Weird Rabbit by CroakenTheCroakey: This fic starts off with everyone’s favorite joyful alcoholic oni Suika trying to impersonate a rabbit. What more do I need to say? More seriously, this fic had several characters who most people wouldn't think to put in the same room together interacting. Most notably the pair the title itself is alluding to, Ibuki Suika and Kishin Sagume. It was interesting seeing all these different personalities together and the drunken shenanigans were hilarious and adorable. Another sweet thing about this fic is that Suika’s initial motive was she wanted to be a great party host so she could bridge the gap between the Lunarians and the Earth Folk. So earnest lol, a real pick me up for this fandom if you need it.

The Great Danmaku Festival by Aardvark123: Reimu just wanted to hold a spectacular festival for her friends but of course, some other shrine happens to be holding a separate festival at the same time. Touhou-style shenanigans ensue. This was a genuinely entertaining story that incorporated a good portion of the characters and definitely felt like something they’d get up to in-game. Plus the fight scenes aren’t too shabby either. If you want to see some chaos that would make ZUN proud then check out this fic.

Touhou Summer of Ships 2021 by Mimic_Teruyo: If you couldn't tell by the title this rec is a little different since it's a collection of shorts as opposed to one continuous story. The collection was a nice blend of both pairings and genres. No matter what character or ship the author wrote it always came as IC and the wide range of stories in this anthology is what makes it memorable to me. It also got me considering some new pairings like Reimu/Letty so kudos fer that.

Fire Emblem:

Soft as Silk by Acureforliving: A Marianne x Ignatz fic that never fails to make my soulless heart beat. This is such a touching fic that fills you with a warm fuzzy feeling while being a fitting love story for both characters. In particular, it really captures the shy deposition these two possess and how they come to bring each other out of their shell. Seeing the steady progression of their relationship through a series of consistently adorable and lovingly awkward interactions was beautiful and it all comes together in a perfect ending. If you like this pairing, I’d recommend giving this one a read.

i want to see the stars reflecting you by seasparks: I read this at 11:30pm thinking it would be quick but uhh…it filled me with one too many Edeleth feelings and then I couldn’t sleep for another 2 hours but more seriously I liked that this fic is set in the period of time between White Cloud and Part 2 since I feel like there’s so much good potential to explore how the characters were coping with…well everything that happened in the Academy Phase’s climax. Especially Edelgard as you can imagine. This fic deals with a lot of the complicated feelings she had after her ‘victory’ and it was interesting seeing her in such a vulnerable position. Dorothea’s interactions with her really put the comfort in Hurt/Comfort and overall this was a really nice fic that covered both their friendship and Edelgard’s angst at losing her idol.

Goodnight, Lucina by Doctor_Bedlam: The premise of this fic is that for various Completely Logical Reasons all the FE:A kids wind up in Lucina’s bed and thus a massive cuddle pile is formed. A lovely thing for us readers to experience but uhh not so great for poor sleep deprived Lucina. This was a real feed good fic and the buildup of how one good sisterly deed spirals into an impromptu slumber party is nothing short of perfect. We also got this iconic line “Insult not the noble turnip,” that’s all the advertising you need.

Beruka: The Equal Assassin by Sketchione: A Beruka/Camilla fic that starts out pretty fluffy with Beruka being confused as to why her liege is so insistent on spending time with her…only to later reveal that Beruka’s struggle to understand her own emotions leads her into a downward spiral that results in her attempting to take her own life. I read this fic way back in 2016 and it’s always stuck with me. Beruka in general is such an underrated and underutilized character in Fates for the aforementioned reason of her struggle with emotional repression. While the beginning bonding interactions between her and Camilla are very sweet it was definitely tragic to see how Beruka just couldn’t accept her affection which is what starts her spiral. Camilla’s reaction to the event was also heartbreaking and something that’s particularly notable about this fic is that it has a sorta ‘choose your own ending’ with chapter 4A being the bittersweet so-to-say ending and 4B being a straightforward tragic ending. It’s got something for everyone so why not give it a try

Miscellaneous Fandoms:

So I Can See You Again by Renjo: A rare fanfic based on the band Mili whose songs are known to have some extensive lore behind them. This one in particular takes a look at the characters of Tellulu and Lancel0t from their song “Ga1ahad and the Scientific Witchery”. This fic continues to depict the destructive nature of their relationship as seen in the song but it takes little hints of lyrics and adds context or theorized lore between them which helps make these characters and their world fleshed out. Additionally, it has the kind of subtle or perhaps not so subtle reference to body horror that Mili loves to sneak into their songs which was very well written. Definitely say give it a read while listening to the actual song haha.

This is in no way a complete list but believe me, more recs and more fandoms to come soon...

#fanfic #fic rec #fanfiction #rec #touhou #fire emblem #fire embem awakening #fire emblem 3 houses #3h #fire emblem fates #fire emblem fanfiction #mili

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auroras-void · 23 days

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Hmnn if you ever feel bad about not sleeping well, and you've really tried hard but nothing sticks. My personal story is I've had terrible insomnia starting in like middle school at least all the way until I was 19. I had internalized so much about how it was my own fault. I knew I was guilty of "revenge insomnia" and several other bullshit reasons. And I was told all the standard interventions and I tried them again and again, and I could tell it wasn't making much difference, but I also had and still do have horrendous executive dysfunction. So it felt inconclusive because I could never stick to it for more than like a week. And so I blamed myself for it, I told myself I was a failure.

Then one year I had a stretch of time where I had no responsibilities to anyone or anything, I was kinda miserable about it, and it wasn't helping anything. But I just stopped giving a shit about day and night. And I found that after a while it always seemed to stabilize at around 4 or 5 am when I would always feel sleepy. So I just went to bed at 5 am. And I suddenly felt more well rested than ever before. My sleep felt consistent. I didn't have the grogginess, honestly if I had tried to force myself to conform to the standard 9-5 schedule then it would have destroyed me. The only thing wrong was that, I was a little, out of sync with the rest of the world. Or, to me really, the world was out of sync with me. And I was mad about it, because I knew I couldn't fix it.

Then I got some medication, almost begrudgingly prescribed to me from my psychiatrist. Primarily for the anxiety but it had the side effect of causing drowsiness. First one was hydroxyzine and it helped a lot I could actually get myself to sleep when I wanted to. It hurt the quality of my sleep by a lot if I actually took a dose strong enough to be effective, and I could power through it if I didn't. Second one though, 2.5 mg mirtazipine, actually still the same dose I take right now, that one took, and it was pretty gradual, it took a while for my body to adjust to it properly. But today, I notice, taking that on time is the only reliable method to actually get to bed on time. I still stay up late sometimes, but it's always because I got distracted from taking my meds, not from going to bed. If I take my meds, the latest I go to sleep is 1 hour immediately after that. If I'm really determined, I can still keep myself awake, but my brain starts to slow down, it actually makes me feel like it's 5 am.

And suddenly I understand why normal people tell me I'm doing it wrong. If this is what it's like for them then yeah, it seems crazy and disruptive to do insomnia.

But it's not for me. I'm just being punished for having a different brain.

And now I've just kinda, naturally fallen into a mostly healthy sleep schedule without really trying too hard or thinking about it, and, life moves on.

Cause the other thing is this has only fixed exactly 1 (one) of my problems.

I do not feel better. I do not feel happier. I do not have more motivation. I do not have more focus. My ADHD my depression my anxiety, they're all still wreaking havoc on my life, completely independently of this.

I just feel slightly less tired.

That's it.

It does make fighting the rest a little easier I *guess*. But I'm not cured. I'm not suddenly normal. I don't just need another 3 hour lecture about shit I already know. I know how to take care of myself. I just *can't*. I'm just, out of sync with the world. And I lack the autonomy and power to bring it to me. So I need a hammer to strike myself with to bend into shape. How I don't know. No one wants to give me a hammer without lots of back and forth energy I simply don't have. So I just wait. In Limbo, a little longer. Waiting for the next appointment. Praying my memory of it doesn't get corrupted by the constant shower of cosmic rays bouncing around inside my head.

It's been two decades, and my life still hasn't felt like it's begun.

#post #personal #adhd #delayed sleep phase disorder #insomnia

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drshaneclements · 5 months

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What if you could get a Black Belt in Mental Wellness?

"When you look at people who are successful, you will find that they aren't the people who are motivated, but have consistency in their motivation"

- Arsene Wenger

Happy Tuesday Morning!

Can you believe it's the last Tuesday of November already?!?! Seems like this year just got started last month and now we are about to close it out. These 12 months have flown by!

I'm having my pre-workout mushroom coffee before heading out to karate class with the crew and then some time at Lumina. This has pretty much been my Tues and Thurs morning routine for the last 20 months, ever since my younger two decided they wanted to take karate and Kim and I started back with them. Now, Kim and I have been practicing karate since 1984 and were in class twice a week consistently for over 10 years. Then when kids came along and life happened that consistency waned. We would still work out at home and practice, but it was sporadic at best. Without the weekly support and accountability it is a lot harder to maintain a mindset.

That got me to thinking about over the last 8 years working with clients, helping them break free from the negative trances of trauma, stress, anxiety, and bad habits like smoking, overeating, etc. I've found the ones that are consistent in their pursuit for change are the ones that find greater success from the work we do. Let's face it, I have some clients that are ready to give up before they ever even start. I've had some that just wanted me to snap my fingers and make it all change instantly. Unfortunately, that's not how it works. It requires effort on the client's part too.

I realized that sometimes those folks didn't have any support to help them make and keep those changes after they finished with their last session with me, and I wondered how I could help change that for them, and then it kicked me in the head (see what I did there?)

When I was consistent with my workouts and classes I stayed motivated, improved my techniques, and stayed in much better physical shape, so why not create something to help my clients do that for their mental wellness too...

And, in a way that won't break the bank!...

So, the Mental Wellness Monthly was born!

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#mental health #mental wellbeing #mental wellness #hypnosis #hypnotherapy #selfhypnosis #unconsciousmind #mindfulness #anxietyrelief

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