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#if it's obviously a personal post i think that's more fucked up
ilwonuu · 2 days
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𐦍༘?can i 𐦍༘⋆
↬ choi seungcheol
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𓇣 pairing- nonidol!cheol x fem reader, dom!seungcheol x sub!reader, bestfriend!cheol x fem reader, friends to lovers<3
𓇣 summary- your best friend calls you late at night for something other than a innocent hangout.
𓇣 warnings- dumb confessing love to each other, oral sex (m receiving), fingering (f receiving), dirty talk, cum swallowing, kissing, MDNI, lmk what else
𓇣 a/n- this is just a random fic that u wrote a long time ago.. i liked it enough to post so lmk what you think!! should i write a part two? ALSO IM BACK FROM LITERALLY NOT POSTING FOR DAYS!!!! im posting a lot of fics today<3 luv u guys 😡
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tossing and turning in your bed has gotten you wide awake. you’ve been trying to fall asleep for the past hour. it now being 1:30am as glance at your clock.
you sigh closing your eyes again before you start to get a call. you groan reaching for your phone. seeing it’s seungcheol you make a confused expression, pressung answer.
“cheol? it’s so late what’s up?” you question and he just sighs. “okay- um this is gonna sound crazy but can i pick you up? i’ve been thinking you all night.” he confesses. his voice sounding tense but lust filled.
“thinking about me? what do you mean?” you are beyond confused now, wanting him to explain it. of course cheol has said something like this to you before, but this time it feels different.
“just let me come get you and i’ll explain then. can i?” he asks. you don’t even know why but your mouth is immediately saying that you would love for him to pick you up.
you having no control when it comes to cheol. you sigh again as you force yourself out of the warmth of your bed to grab some pants to throw on.
quickly changing as you know cheol, how fast he would get to your house. speaking of, your phone lights up with a text from the boy telling you he’s outside. you slip on your slippers and head out of your house into his car.
“well good morning to you.” you say sarcastically as you get into the passenger seat. “can i just drive and explain? it’s kind of a lot to take in.” he starts to drive to your guys usual spot to watch the sunset. you couldn’t do that now obviously…
“so.. were you asleep when i called?” “no unfortunately i haven’t been sleeping very well and these were one of the completely sleepless nights.” he sighs not taking his eyes of the road.
“i’m sorry i hope you can sleep better tomorrow.” he says looking at you for a moment to give you a soft smile before finally arriving at your spot.
“are you gonna tell me why you wanted to pick me up at 2 in the morning?” you turn your gaze to him and he just nods. “don’t freak out okay-“ he cuts himself off.
“y/n- i’m in love with you. and everyday i’m more and more in love with you. i couldn’t get confessing to you off my mind. i wanted you to know in person.” he says looking at you for a reaction, response, anything.
“cheol i-“ he sighs thinking he already knows what you’re gonna say. “i know you don’t feel the same. i had a feeling you didn’t but i just need to tell you okay? it was killing me and i just don’t want anything to be weird now-“ you stop his words with your finger.
“cheol shut up. i’m in love with you too.” you confess as well catching him completely off guard. “wait are you serious? don’t mess with me that’s not funn-“ you cut him with a kiss against his lips.
“you believe me now?” he nods pulling you to kiss him again. “you don’t know how bad i wanted to do that.” he admits with a deep sigh.
“cheol-you know-i- me too.” his hands intertwined with yours. you feel so safe with him. you want nothing more than to be his. you want him to be yours.
“y/n i- please let me kiss you again.” and that’s how you ended up here. on your knees in the backseat next to your best friend, reaching for his dick as he fucks his fingers into you.
“cheol-“ he smirks down at you. “feel good baby? keep going.” you nod at his words finally pulling his dick out of his pants. shocked at the size of course. you have never been with anyone with a dick this big- nearly coming on his fingers.
“go ahead, let me see you baby.” he’s looking down at you with intimidating eyes. you give his dick a couple strokes causing him to hiss but mindlessly ruts his hips up with your hand.
you kitten lick the tip of his dick not breaking eye contact with him. a load groan erupting from him. his fingers are starting to fuck into you faster. your moans against him making him crazy.
“fuck just like- that. feels so fucking good.” his hips moving with your mouth as you fuck yourself back onto his fingers.
“look at you. o-oh fuck” your mouth speeding up on his cock. his fingers curling inside of you causing you to moan. you gag on his dick as his hips start to meet your mouth.
you cum on his fingers hard as you feel him start to fuck your mouth. he fucks his fingers into slowly before pulling them out to bring them up to his mouth.
he hums before groaning when he sees you looking up at him. he pulls his fingers out his mouth, his hand inching to your ass rather quickly.
“i’m gonna- fuck i’m coming. you’re so beautiful.” his cum shooting deep into your mouth as his hips fuck up with his groans.
you keep eye contact with him as you swallow. he groans trying not to fuck your mouth again. you sit up to kiss him.
“you’re so pretty.” he gives you a big smile as the two of you get dressed. you blush and look away from him. “want to come to my house?” he smiles at you.
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let's talk about that one scene in oops
(and fizzarolli in general bc me and my autism r obsessed with this scene and haven't seen someone break it down. also ft. blitz lmao)
just a general scene and vague character breakdown/analysis!
i first of all want to admire the perfect representation of best friends to enemies with blitz & fizz because ugh.
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And like Blitz tells everyone this but the way it's so malicious here. Just the perfect simple dig and Fizz's little shit eating grin because it delivered how he knew it would sdfkjsdkf. Shoves Blitz to the side because really that's all he cares to say. Fuck you and what you did to me, bye bye <3 Fizz is so for talking shit and dipping (House of Asmodeus) I love how messy it is but also shows how he really doesn't hold malice for Blitz otherwise. Obviously we see this front and center later in the episode once they start reconnecting, but I like the subtlety and how he's so willing to snap at Blitz despite his usual anxiety with confrontation.
Blitz also knowing exactly what to say to really piss Fizz off once things escalate <3
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(Fizz literally so smug and content with himself lmfao)
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(smirk wiped off bc hey that's the thing i'm sensitive about!!)
But Fizz keeps his composure. And if you'll let me be alarmingly gay for a second, I love how his version of keeping his cool as a messy gay is managing to basically recreate this drag race confrontation in what is probably my favorite set of Fizzie lines.
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eat him up babes. also it's so important that that shitty coffee and fizz were on this side of the street for framing i'll talk about it more in a sec jfskjdfksf.
and now my personal favorite exchange of this entire scene that is criminally underrated imo:
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love his face after this line. I SUPPORT DISABLED PEOPLES WRONGS sfjdlkfsdd. literally so fucking nasty with his clown wit but also so justifiable because yeah blitz did just pull this nightmare and dip in fizz's pov. i cannot wait for that to get touched on more likeeee why were they kept apart ugh.
and finally!!
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this cut to blitz,, specifically the scarred side of his face is sooo good.
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the face of a man who just achieved critical vicious mockery vs. the face of a man that knows he can only win this interaction one way now
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Blitz does deserve a little violence maybe <3 Fizz underestimated his ass jjdkfsdlk.
Idk I just love how indicative this whole interaction is for their characters but especially Fizz, it's a perfect build-up for him. Fizz has major imposter syndrome with dual layers because of general haters but especially because of Mammon and Asmodeus. Not on any fault of Ozzie's,, we just see Fizz obviously thinks he isn't fully deserving of their relationship/his situation and the healthy dynamics of it and so do most major news outlets apparently askjfsk.
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(full fizzy meme post & also i like how this is a special also like damn do u think they were also apart of the crossword??)
It'll be really interesting to see how his character develops in future episodes because I feel like a lot of what I've rambled about here has come to a resolution after 2 Minutes Notice in the musical special lmao. I really like how here when he goes to compose himself, this is how he does it.
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Makes me wonder how many times him and Ozzie have had the self-worth and imposter syndrome conversation before it finally stuck in the Mammon Musical Special. I just love their relationship and how they compliment one another,, and how it projects into Fizz's other relationships because they're healthy for one another. Love my OTP love Blitz & especially love Fizzie. Obviously.
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jordifaedia · 23 hours
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oh yeah, pluma operation record analysis time. let's go.
content warnings: spoilers for la pluma's oprec; general lore about pluma, dossoles holiday. this will be divided into two sections, because read the header for this post, also pluma is referred to as 'pluma' instead of 'la pluma' or 'rafaela' throughout this post if you even care.
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I. the la pluma analysis
there are multiple things you learn about la pluma in her operation record; she's a daughter of many (not blood related), she dislikes trouble, and she and pancho have a more seemingly closer bond than pancho does with tequila.
the general summary of the operation record is that la pluma is at dossoles, there's a couple people who want to break her dad out of jail, and she has to try and stop that before candela's guards well.. you know, kill them or try to imprison them.
"why can't she just let them go break her father out of jail?" while la pluma is extremely close to her father, and i personally think that even if she loves him deeply and wishes he was probably by her side.. that doesn't mean she wants him to be broken out of prison! listen, you can love your family members as much as you want but when you know they're in trouble for something. you know they have to pay the consequences for it. also, a free dad at the cost of dead true bolivarian soldiers? yeah no, not worth it (in pluma's eyes, in which it's pretty implied that the bolivarian soldiers are close to her. see photos below)
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right, so what makes la pluma's operation record different from, i don't know, everything else about her?
in her operation record you learn that this takes place a little after, or shortly after (like hours, maybe) tequila's own oprec. so there's a timeframe for you.
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in order to understand tequila, you have to understand one thing. do. not. seperate. the. dossoles. siblings. like, not even in a "they're a duo so cute!" way, no like there's a crap ton of lore about tequila in la pluma's oprec and his family, and there's lore in tequila's file about la pluma. in order to understand one character, you have to go to the other. that's how deeply connected they are. even if you want to like one character solely out of the duo, you're going to have to go to the other persons file and find information about them that you can't find through their sole file/oprec. because yes, that's how much they care about each other.
you learn that the flower that was pinned on pancho's wife's chest was a lilac, which i already talked about it's significance in another post. you also find out small quirks about pluma, like that she can still make some pretty damn good food, and that she's just genuinely kind-hearted despite you know.. being apart of the salas family.. having to kill others. all that jazz.
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pluma manages to show kindness towards everyone in the oprec, despite the fact that yes, they're trying to break her papa out of prision. and she doesn't want that to happen obviously, yet it's clear that she still.. cares for everyone that's trying to go through the stupid plan. she doesn't want them to get hurt, she doesn't want them to come home dead. we don't know if tio, or the other soldier have a family back at home (though, i wouldn't be surprised if they do) and for them to give up their lives for said family would be heart wrenching.
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pluma, despite being considered 'aloof' by most, is smart. she knows that if they go ahead with this plan, they'll end up just making pancho pay the price even more. candela is keeping a close eye on pluma anyways, since she kept talking to the true bolivarian soldiers, which had already settled as a red flag in her eyes. pluma knows that candela doesn't really trust her after the events of dossoles holiday. you know, where candela basically found out pancho including his children plotted to blow up a fucking city behind her back, and they could of gotten away with it almost. sort of. not really.
i'm not the best at explaining things, so i have to bring up a major point to follow smaller points. so here, i'll go with a big point. it is a massive misconception that pluma is "air-headed" like, only filled of pure air. and that is solely because of poor writing in dossoles holiday, as well as the fact in her voicelines.. it's just unironically doctorbait for those who go goo goo ga ga heart eyes at her. which yeah, i don't mind that. pretty women deserve to be loved, but people don't really understand her character beyond that point. luckily, pluma's oprec helps clear up some of these misconceptions. and provides a bigger view on pluma as a whole instead.
you learn about the things i've already told you, she's the emotional bandage between the rip that was left by mrs. salas's death, she's a daughter, a sister, and a good caretaker at that too. she genuinely cares for those around her, and does not like the idea of resorting to criminal acts (most likely because of dossoles holiday, and the bad association with them.) and oh boy, does she make this clear to the reader.
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pluma has a strong connection to her family, after all this entire oprec is mostly centered around her family if you haven't noticed. she wants to be involved in family affairs, she wants to be understood. however, most of the time people undermine her consistently and just assume "she's a little girl", and that "she doesn't know what she's doing" basically, even though.. like i said before, that's not true. she's smart, she knows what she's doing. and there's always a reason why she does the things she does. this is one of her major conflicts as a character, is the fact that everyone wants to continue thinking of pluma as some sweet innocent angel who got dragged into war, when she isn't.
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innocent? no. angelic? far from it, she assisted helping tequila and pancho attempt to blow up a city. sweet? yeah, that's pretty true. even so, she was a child soldier. of course she was innocent back then, what do you expect children to be like? but even so, she went into dossoles holiday with a clear mind, knowing what to do. she wanted to help her papa, and her brother, and help the true bolivarians with their victory. there is no "she's the damsel in distress", because she never was in distress in the first place. in her files, she literally says she wanted to be apart of the plan because she kept getting pissed off that she was being left out practically.
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in the best words possible, she is a hard shell to break. she doesn't give up, and when she knows what's best for her, she will keep pushing through until she reaches her goal. most people are under the impression that la pluma doesn't have a single clue on what's she's doing, and that she's just some airheaded little sister (which feeds into the mischaracterization of pluma that is already rapid across the fandom.) she's not, hope this helps!
also to note, candela also knows that pluma is not some "sweet behaved" girl that her brother (tequila) seemingly told her, which should say enough by itself.
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but even despite the fact she's aware of the consequences of helping her brother, for continuing to affiliate with the true bolivarians past dossoles holiday, and just.. i don't know, existing? she's still a girl.
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la pluma's operation record provides answers to unanswered questions, (ex. what flower is pinned on mrs. salas' chest, what is pluma's relationship with her father, what happened after pancho went to jail, etc) but it also still manages to not be purely about pluma's family. because as much as she's associated with them, and they're a pretty big portion of her character.. she's still her own being.
la pluma has emotions. she gets sad, mad, happy, all of the above or some other feeling i didn't list. she's still human despite the fact people see her as a hardworking woman on the battlefield, protecting herself and her brother. or whether people still think she's some aloof cute scythegirl, she's much more under the surface.
when she defeats pancho's soldiers, it is obviously stated in the above image that she was crying. sobbing? no, just a couple tears. it's clear to the reader that pluma had no intentions of wanting to hurt tio, or people she considered close to her. in fact, it seems like that thought entirely probably was a thought she never wanted to conclude to.
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she could of let them attempt to save pancho from jail, possibly get injured or even worse die, but she doesn't. she wants to keep them alive, and hope they eventually change their ways (obviously this doesn't happen, as they try to keep going with the plan yet fail miserably due to pluma probably hurting them herself.) pluma knows the only way despite her internal feelings is to either:
as you can tell, she picked option b. while we don't know what exactly caused her to cry, we can assume one thing. it was most likely because she felt bad for hurting them, or just doing a 'bad' act (not the best wording, trust me on this one)
a) try to resolve this through conversation (doesn't work)
b) step in yourself and even if it hurts them, stop them (works)
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she doesn't want to be, i suppose, 'the bad guy'. but when push comes to shove, she has to do whats right. even if it contains hurting those around her. however, it's not like that'll have no consequences on herself.
between the dossoles siblings, you can safely say pluma can be considered the more emotional one out of the two. while tequila does in fact have his own emotional moments, he masks it all under this "happy-go-lucky" mask, compared to pluma who doesn't really repress what she's feeling. she is more empathetic, at least.
under tequila's mask is a more hardened, blunt soul compared to pluma, who i'd like to say is like slime. she's solid, unlike water, yet she can still be meshed around. just like her emotions, she can be tough while maintaining her true feelings about situations. sometimes, those feelings will arise.
i wouldn't say pluma hates violence in its entirety because that would be wrong. what she hates is people being a threat to her family, or hurting those close to her.
"but she hurt tio, as well as another soldier." when people you love are doing stupid shit and are too far deep in for conversation, and trying to get them out of said shit peacefully doesn't work, it's okay to be a little mean. it's okay to raise your sword. sometimes, you need to be a little harsh on an individual so they can get it through their head.
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as nearing the finality of the oprec, the themes of family grow louder and louder. it becomes clear to the viewer that the assumption people have from a skim in pluma's files begins to become.. something else. she's confident, and knows what she's doing. and you get to see her care for her family even more than she already has during the final scene of her oprec, in which she purchases lilacs for her family, the same flowers that were associated with tequila's mother's death.
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III. final thoughts/conclusion (misc thoughts)
a must-read, pluma's oprec is a read you have to read in order to understand both tequila a little more, but especially pluma on. the amount of screentime she got in dossoles holiday was humiliating, and did her so dirty that people can't even seem to understand her correctly. luckily, pluma's oprec attempts to amend those poor writing tatics used in dossoles holiday, and make it much clearer that she has a bigger impact on tequila and his father than expected.
they're not going to rewrite dossoles holiday and release it as a 'rerun of a rerun' as much as i want that medal set, and better characterization of pluma, plus many more factors. so, you have to make do with what you have.
pluma in general, is a lovely character. her design is unique, and isn't too complex that it becomes an eyesore. the color pallete choice is wonderful, pleasing on my eyes, and her personality itself is very adorable. and i really like how family-associated she is. i really do wish more people liked her, and i know most of the time people are quick to brush her under as 'fanservice for the doctor' or 'tequila's little sister', but she's seriously interesting.
so yeah. go read her oprec.
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relaxxattack · 6 months
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every time someone calls moirallegience just an alien qpr i wilt a lil like YEAH thats more or less the CLOSEST human thing but its also Literally Not That. like a qpr is fundanmentally not romantic and thats not even going into moirails whole Actual Purpose of calming ppl down. its just. aughhhhh pisses me off i see the confusion but, as aformentioned, aughhhhh
OH MY GOD THIS HAS BEEN BOTHERING ME TOO.... but i don't want to get petty at the people in my notes always saying "moirails are QPRs!" because in some ways that is the closest human thing so it's hard to be mad...
i think there's definitely some overlap in some ways. but NOT because moirallegiance and qprs are the same at all really, but INSTEAD because both relationships have unconventional boundaries defined by the people within them.
you know... like every relationship.
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like the only reason the two have overlap is because they are both partnerships that emotionally care for each other but can choose to not bang (which is true for any romance anyway, even if it's considered abnormal). they're both just romances* that are unconventional to human norms, which makes people view them as the same thing when they're not.
i think the REAL issue here is that humans insist on using human words to understand things that are just, fundamentally, alien. can't we just appreciate alien romance for being... alien romance?
no, it's not platonic, it's romantic. it's just romantic in a way you aren't quite wired to understand, is all.
*in generalization, most QPRs are not romantic, because they are made up of aroaces who are life partners in a non-romantic way. however i want to disagree with you that none of them are romantic, because that is up to the partners in question.
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aeide-thea · 5 months
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still thinking abt the tumblrinx i encountered a while back whose pinned post said they were transmasc… and also demanded that men dni
like—i’m not confused by the convoluted not-like-the-other-boys doublethink that gets you there, i can follow the chain of illogic just fine, but i sure am deeply wearily depressed by it!
#i know plenty of good men—good cis men even! gasp!#and i just think like. if we can’t move away from‚ like‚ cold gender war how the fuck do we move forward#fundamentally like. 100% block people who have behaved towards you in ways you didn't like.#but like. this whole thing where ~afabs~ preemptively self-victimize by conjuring up the creepiest cishet man they can imagine#and self-harm by worrying abt that imaginary guy jacking off to them#is just like. i understand how it happens but it’s like. you’re actively doing negative visualization#and‚ like‚ preemptively self-victimizing#ime it feels a lot better to move through the world unworried‚ in the knowledge that if someone says sth gross to you: you can block them!#anyway ultimately i’m pretty clearly making this post bc i'm overdue to unfollow the tirfiest blogger i’m currently following#like. yeah loads of cishet men are shitheads but ~misandry~ is so last decade#and frankly i don’t have a lot more time for the cishet women who have bought into the same system—like i have some sympathy but.#these people all get warped by the system into complementary fucked-up cogs whose teeth bite into one another#and i’m just not interested in biting back—i want to leave all the biting behind in the dust of the junkyard that birthed it#and like. i don’t want to dismiss the oppression that births this sort of rhetoric. it's super real and it's toxic and it fucks people up.#but it’s like. when people have bad dads and then are like Dads R Always Bad!!!#and i’m just over here like. i don’t know how to say this without sounding like i’m invalidating you but my dad was a fucking saint tbh#not perfect dgmw but like. a sweet gentle encouraging man who got ground down by my mother’s toxic heel along with the rest of us#so like. actually not only are you closing yr eyes to a better future‚ yr closing yr eyes to other ppl’s lived realities#like i personally managed to have a totally life-ruining mother without deciding Mothers Are Ontologically Evil Actually!#idk. obviously women remain *enormously* systemically oppressed! but surely we can acknowledge and decry that without#implicitly rhetorically closing off any possibility of a gentler queerer gender dynamic?#anyway none of this is revolutionary i’m just like. i KNOW the fascists want to cut off my toes and force me into the glass slipper#of viciously constrained femininity#that in turn makes itself feel better by sneering at men‚ critiquing other women who Do It Wrong‚ and exerting control over children#so i have strong personal cause to care about misogyny even if i didn’t care about it in the abstract#but i just think like. acting like traditional gender roles and dynamics are a fixed truth we can only bruise ourselves on#instead of a human construction that we can undermine and work to topple#is not actually the path to a healed world in the long run!#anyway. beta edition post (thumbtyped & not reread): may contain bugs.
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idealest-of-ideals · 4 days
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Enemies to lovers kousano.
Thats all.
#To ME their relationship would be sooooo sskk coded#They would hate each others guts and talk shit about one another behind their backs#I saw this one art of them both beating each other up and I can't stop thinking about it#Like obviously they're not that action oriented but I think they would still pull some shitty stuff over one another#Yosano would hate kouyou bc she thinks she's a cocky prissy bastard in the same way she kinda hated on chuuya that one ep#Also the fact that she works so loyally under mori. who. we all know what.#And also kouyou abusing and manipulating kyouka in a similar way as to how mori manipulated her#Kouyou would hate yosano too. not to as much of an extent as yosano would#But. enough#It would probably be similar to akus jealousy towards atsushi#How yosano was able to grow and leave the toxic environment she was in (mori) and become a person who can love themselves and shit#And how kouyou couldn't escape the mafia as a kid#So she convinced herself into believing she didn't really deserve a normal life#But her hatred of yosano is wayyyyy more repressed#Since she's more on the logical side#And since kyouka cares for yosano too#So she wouldn't deprive kyouka of another person in her life#But as time goes on and kyouka heals and learns to accept and understand kouyou for her (undoubtedly) toxic actions#This is where the shin soukou-esque shit comes in#They obviously don't partner up and shit#Since they have basically nothing to do with each other in their respective organisations#But they try to get to know each other???????#Idk how romantic relationships work but from here on they get all competitively flirty and lovey dovey#And yeah#Idk#These are a fuck load of tags#I should've just wrote this in the post itself#Bsd#Bungou Stray Dogs#Kousano
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yellowocaballero · 2 years
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Hey now that Good Luck Jake! is completed I can share the fucking Matt Murdock backstory that I mentioned really really want to establish. I mentioned some joke headcanons/elements of the AU (there are very little differences.) here but I can go into detail without spoiling now.
The Marvel Universe is weird and insane things constantly happen and there's entire magic civilizations. Although the superhero thing and the insane quantity of apocalypses is mostly new, a lot of stuff that is bonkers to us is probably normal to them even before superhero stuff starts happening.
Therefore, I think there's a ninja industrial complex.
Matt is a victim of this ninja industrial complex.
Recruited as part of an urban outreach program serving/exploiting underprivileged youth (turning them into ninjas), he was recruited by Stick and joined ninja ROTC. Although he was a real whiz kid in the business and showed a lot of potential for career mobility, Matt wanted to escape this ninja-to-cultist pipeline.
Matt believes in choices! As a young kid he was railroaded into academics and as a teenager he's railroaded into the ninja thing. Everybody who raised him instilled in him a very strong passion for justice, righteousness, and ethics, but as he gets older he begins to believe that there's a better way than vanquishing rival ninja clans. He's insanely morally aggressive because he was raised highly moralistically with an intense sense of right and wrong, but he believes that God showed him his own path into crusading for right and wrong. Since he was fifteen, his life dream was to become an ordinary person. A law abiding member of society. Someone who does the right thing without murder and fights for the weak instead of against the strong.
A lawyer.
Matt really really wants to be Just A Dude. He begs Stick to let him go to law school ("Ninjahood isn't my dream, Dad, it's yours!"). He is aggressively normal. He insists that he is normal. Yes he's a ninja but he's just some guy and ninjas have exploitive business practices anyway. Ignore all the batshit stuff I do I am a normal member of your study group. He is a man without fear because he has no idea what is normal in society or not.
The ninja thing is common knowledge, so Matt does more 'hide his extra-sensory superpowers' than 'pretend to be ordinarily and 100% blind'. This isn't weird because there are a lot of blind kung fu masters. Matt insists that blind kung fu masters are a dime a dozen. Foggy thinks that Matt is objectively the coolest person alive but that they don't teach you social skills at ninja school.
Of course, this never raises any suspicions about him being Daredevil. Daredevil is, obviously, a boxer.
If you were to ask him about any of this he'd just go 'can't help being a Libra' and backflip away.
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piglii · 8 months
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not that I’m posting about it a lot but I do see why people like Succession so much. I just spent the last half hour hiding my face behind my hands because I didn’t know if I could  physically handle watching what was happening on screen.
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robotwrangler · 2 years
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Thinking about how the lovely person on deviantart who emailed me a copy of Undertale in exchange for a sketch of their oc when I was 15 will never know about the profound effect they had on my life..
#it’s a long story but tldr if not for Undertale I would’ve never heard of Yes Man and without Yes Man I literally wouldn’t be alive rn#I’m sure ive told this story on here before but I like it bc it is important to me#the Undertale to Yes Man pipeline is a very specific thing that happened to me involving 2 different joke blogs on here#there was ‘youcantfuckaskeleton’ (blog abt how nobody should want sans Undertale carnally)#and then I found their other blog ‘youcanfuckarobot’ (blog about. well. I’m sure you get the picture) and I went there for Mettaton posts#but they had some posts there with Yes Man and I was like. that is the most nice looking robot I’ve seen in my life. who is this#and then I forgot abt it for like 3 years and forgot to look him up. UNTIL#DELTARUNE CHAPTER 1.. in 2018.. drove me to revisit those joke blogs for nostalgia#and I saw the yes man pics again and this time I got WAY more curious. I was so so intrigued by him he looked so interesting and cute#so I looked him up and looked at lots of art of him and read his wiki page and I was like. I NEED to meet him#so my big brother got me new vegas as a present on new years and on january 3 2019 I met yes man!#and. I have never understood why or how. but when I woke up the next day my depression was fucking gone#I had severe untreated depression and it just dissolved overnight#nothing else notable happened around that time except for meeting yes man and becoming smitten with him so it seems that’s what did it??#also those joke blogs are still around I think. i like to revisit them occasionally for the nostalgia of seeing yes man for the first time#but yea anyway what I’m saying is this nice person on deviantart indirectly saved my life#my depression also never came back btw. obviously I feel sad sometimes like anyone but I have not been depressed since then#would’ve been nice if my anxiety went away too but I can at least live with that tbh!!#um anyway I’m sleepy so ending these tags. if you read all of this I love you thank you for caring
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firelordhotman · 8 months
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friendly reminder that even if youre open about something on your blog, even if you think its so obviously right in your about/description/pinned/whatever, most of the people who will interact with you are not even looking that far at your blog. they dont know your name or your pronouns or your disabilities or your interests or your credentials or whatever you think is just *so obvious* that they *must* be intentionally ignoring it just to hurt you. ESPECIALLY not if theyre a random stranger who youve never interacted with once before, has never interacted with you once before either, and has absolutely zero reason to care about you. its not a personal attack, its just a fact. this is literally the internet
#i am TIRED. yes this is a vaguepost idc#utter stranger shows up in my notifs DEMANDING i explain a simple little joke tag about me and my loved ones experiences#as if i owe them the slightest ounce of attention in my day#and then when i do explain my & my loved ones lived experiences. they get mad & say im using THEIR personal experiences as a weapon#like. i dont have the slightest clue what your personal experiences are! i dont even know your name!! and i dont want to nor do i have to!!#i dont mean this rudely. but factually: you are not important enough to me to care even a little bit about your experiences#i dont bring up suicide or addiction or any shit like that because its Your experience. bc i have no fucking idea what your experience is#i talk about those things because its MY EXPERIENCE. that IM TALKING ABOUT. in the tags of a post that doesnt belong to either of us no les#this is probably the last thing im gonna post abt this bc i know youre still up my ass looking at everything i post rn#but to finish off. i was never even making a Point about anything in the tag. i wasnt starting discourse about anything.#it was just an Acknowledgement of a shared experience that me and many of my loved ones have. whether u like it or not#like literally i dngaf if YOU personally wouldnt describe your experience that way. We do describe it that way! We can be different#i just made a silly little tag for my friends to see. and YOU decided that you were entitled to both hear my life story and blatantly#misinterpret everything i say about it. like literal 'how dare you say we piss on the poor' type shit#like. saying 'x can cause y' does not mean im saying 'y is literally x' fucking OBVIOUSLY. god#i didnt fucking ask for this! YOU DID!! YOURE the one who DEMANDED it of me unprompted#& clearly must have just gone looking thru the tags of posts for ppl to beef with lollllll#i mean cmon. you didnt follow me i didnt follow you and that wasnt even your post. theres no other explanation lmao its p obvious#anyway i hope u find a better hobby or at least a more fun and fulfilling way to use this website. sincerely#at least get some better critical thinking skills before picking stupid arguments with random strangers online#but hey! play stupid games win stupid prizes<3 right??#also one final note: to hear someone talking about the lived experiences of them and their real life loved ones and go 'hmm. sounds fake'.#its just giving Friendless. its giving 'how could anyone make fun art without doing crazy drugs!!'.#its giving 'Wait yall have friends irl? i thought it was just a joke'. its fucking hilarious and im gonna think about it forever#thank u for a lifetime supply of laughs godspeed
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birdmenmanga · 2 years
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STILL can’t believe she named that mfer “sou”. why don’t you name him something more subtle like “christian”
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nblizzieforbes · 1 year
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i hope you all know that when the new nf album comes out, i am likely going to talk about it more than i probably should
#april 7th you are too far away#i probably won't make more than like 1 post if i don't like it but based on the song he released recently i feel like i'm gonna like at#least most of it. (i know probably no one following me listens to him and fair but i'm gonna rant a bit here)#the thing is that his most recent album (clouds) had a good few songs i was just very eh about. like they weren't awful but nt my thing and#the album before was better yknow so i haven't been thinking about waiting for a new album really. kinda mostly forgot about him for a bit#and i just didnt have that much interest in relistening to the old shit even though i like it. and then he released hope and i listened to#it ofc bc i have been kinda waiting but like barely yknow. but the thing is bc of a friend i knew beforehand it'd be a more hopeful (ha)#potentially more happy song then i'm used to from him (for people who don't know are are shockingly reading this literally all of his songs#are sad) and i wasn't looking forward to that change bc i like the sad shit it's relatable and like obviously i was happy for him that he#felt like writing more hopeful music but its just not what i've ever been looking for from him. but i listened to hope and i loved it and#now i'm most definitely waiting for more and have def been reassured about my fears about not liking it. like i wouldn't compare it to any#of his albums bc it doesn't fit but in terms of me liking it it's def like on the level of the perception album or the search album so#that's cool. also i hope more of the songs have as many callbacks and references as hope did (if you listen to nf and are reading this I#LOVED the part where he plays the bit from mansion like jesus. all of hope was so good and i love how much he's grown and i'm so happy for#him and all the references made me so happy) (the my album part i don't like much just bc the conflicting voices fucks with me but i get#the Point of it.) also! 'don't get it twisted that wasn't a shot mama i forgive you i just don't want him to grow up thinking that he'll#never be enough'??? ... i'm definitely the most excited for mama and i truly hope that it's about growth bc i know that i don't know this#person but as someone whos been listening to his music for so long seeing him grow and find happiness and hope is beautiful and going from#'how could you leave us' to even just those lyrics about his son just. god. also by the way after listening to the new song i did go back#and listen to some old ones and the thing is it's been so long since i've listened to most of these that i can't recognize by name alone if#i used to love them. some i kinda can but not most so i'm having to go figure it out with like all of them and i don't like them all but it#is nice to be listening to the ones i used to love bc i'm finding i still very much do and i should've been listening to them more lol#bc they're good!#anyway though. april 7th. i will be posting about lyrics.#alos i know that clouds is considered the mixtape but it's still an album ok. it's close enough at least.
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I haven’t been actively lately because I only just got internet and phone access where I’m staying rn and I finally have my new sim card in so I can have WIFI HALLELUJAH (I’m only supposed to have 1 hour phone time a day but no one needs to know heheheh)
Anyway I just wanted to say that I nearly died and I will still die and stand for Carson because he is amazing and a good person and season 6 isn’t in character but even if it was what happened to Thomas CLEARLY wasn’t even Carson’s fault and if you say it was then you SUCK and you’re WRONG!!! 😌 CARSON IS MY LIFE AMD MY WORLD AND THATS JUST SOMETHING FHAR YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT ABOUT ME!!!!!!!!!
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#I’m so happy to have wifi back and I made plans w someone and talked to my mum one to one like a real person and everything’s been insane o#obviously like I was in the icu and now mental ward and it’s been some of the darkest most traumatic time of my life but after talking to th#the right ppl I feel hopeful again and like an entirely difffeernet person from this morning#random tmi life update#hopefully I’ll be able to draw something decent and I can post some Downton animals soon ☺️ lol#force everyone here to care about tiger carson <3#still obsessed with him#weird stuff going ik this is weird but I like just got my internet and tumblr back and I’m like WHEEEEEEwWWWwwW#maybe there can br hope lifean da future for me#also probably the fucking shitton socktail of meds I’m on rn has something t di with it lol#i think I’m getting some more in. a bit but I’m gonna go to the art room or something and try to draw more or whatever#coz it’s too early to sleep and I’m bouncing with energy!#crazy like I couldn’t even walk by myself a couple days ago and now I’m like chatting with everyone and hyper ^~^#idk whether to say I feel good or bad at this point coz idk what either means anymore but#yeah like I need that seeet sweet therapy pls fix my BRAIN and the dr upped my meds so Horay that should help too#suicide mention#not rly but just being safe tagging#death mention#?#idk it. and be triggering though I know#like the topic I mean#anyway I stand by and live carson and if you blame him in any way for Thomas suicide I’ll personally kill you
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#annoying tw 🥵🍉🍇🌊🌊😈 and if you reblog this i'm gonna snipe your fucking left eye with safety scissors 🥺💖#remind me to never feel interested or get invested in wanting to know anyone. that's always where the problem starts. every fucking time.😐#love has always been the mistaken excuse i keep damaging my mental health over. it's like a fucking festering toxicity.#wanting to be loving is the fucking problem. thinking of how to be more loving is the fucking problem.#being loving is the fucking problem. even just seeing love is the fucking problem. love is what is worst for me.#it's soooooooo fucking stupid. so sooo soooooo stupid. sooo soooooo sooooooooooo fucking stupid.#i'm trying to mold myself into being a more loving person when obviously it's the most monumental fucking idiocy spewing shite.#love may simply be the answer for the world but for me it's the problem. fucking distractingly pathetic lie.#it's actually quite the hilarity. i just genuinely hate love as a concept. just look at what it has done to me.#realistically i keep thinking about my soulmate because i idealize that they won't reject who i am like everyone else.#and i keep leeching on to it because having just one connection...would hypothetically fix me. but deep down i know it won't.#nothing will at this point. i'm just wrong. as a person. as a thought. as an existence. i regret not offing myself when i was younger.#you know scrolling through my blog last night and this morning has been really disgusting. sex disgusts me. love disgusts me.#how i've been acting lately....it disgusts me. love is not who i am. it's not what is best for me.#the quicker i accept it for what it is the better i'll feel. hm. cringecore posting is kinda fun actually. anyways bye. 😐#if you see me posting about love i'm just keeping up the bit and the aesthetic of it all.#i seriously fucking hate love and believe the gross hold it holds over me will be the death of me.#ok bye. for real this time.😐#suicide mention..=#i guess. don't fucking read this anyway. 😐 i come on here to talk to myself if you read it i'll fucking step on your pinky toe. 😐👿#anlg0107
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pensivetense · 2 years
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talkorsomething · 1 day
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Too [insert adjective here] for guard ...................
Well, it's only half related.
We "hit a pothole", "had a slipup", whatever you want to call it — sunday. Aka: for the sake of my sanity we are not labeling it a relapse but good god does it feel as though I have invited the demons back in.
I know why, but I don't really know why. Because, I mean... I never have, to begin with. So: when I decided i was doing it sunday, i accepted it. "Let it happen", as someone would probably say to me. It's not...
I've been thinking about it for a while now. It's like anything - it comes and goes, a few times a year, and no matter what, I always ignore it.
Except, maybe there's something I'm not paying attention to? Or, ignoring, is the better word for it?
Of course it would be the one thing I have happening in my life.
November, I was burnt out for unrelated reasons. It was a lot to take in. That made sense. Now? ... why now?
There's not really any pressure on me. Yes, I have to do things, yes, it will be noticed if they're bad, but ...... it's not important. We don't spend time on it. I'm coming back next year, but it might be at the cost of ... all of this. I think it's progress. I haven't touched my guitar in any serious capacity in over a year. I think it's progress.
I don't take compliments well. I can't tell if that's why I don't get them, but I'm not being corrected much either. Only when I drift too far from what the work is supposed to be, only after weeks of it going, I can only assume, unnoticed. I keep getting stuck.
...push it back down.
Telling me I'm doing good isn't telling me what I know I have to be getting wrong. I could take it, at the cost of... all of this. I'm anticipating, and I know it can come. This is not where I was when I started.
It's been said, I haven't been told, that not starting it means you're more of a burden, by making the other person have to do it first. I know that. I do. And still it doesn't help. I'm not drowning. It wasn't an accident, but it wasn't planned, either. I don't know you.
I don't know you.
I'm not a good person. I'm not a nice person. Every week I tell myself this is really it, and every week I come back, and ... what? Forget I ever said anything? Forget we're not friends?
Well, we're not, huh? Nobody is, with me. What you see I swear you misunderstand. You don't ask. If you do, well, I can't answer. We're at an impasse.
It's not even my fault we didn't make it. I shouldn't feel like this over nothing. I don't do anything. You will, correctly, not let me do anything, because potential doesn't matter if you can't back it up. If you won't back it up. I let things happen to me.
I don't even feel better. And, actually, ironically, i think i know what would let me feel better. If I can't be upset with anyone else, at least I can be with myself.
... but, well, not even that. Your heart in my hands, but I mean it diegetically. And metaphorically. I hate putting myself out there, I hate having to actually perform, and yet every time, no matter what, I do it. I'm fine. I only cared at the start, and even then not very.
I don't feel anything. Not a lot, anyways. I don't let it happen. I can't. I don't know what it'll mean if I start being honest with myself.
...
I've pulled myself out of this before. A few times, now. Different circumstances, but I've done it all the same. Seasonal depression notwithstanding.
I'm only here because I did things I was scared to. And still, I'm the same. No progress made. The only way out is to do it again but I feel like I can't. I can't.
Will someone just let me say that?
Will someone just fucking help for once?
#sh tw#(implied - i know i didnt actually say it in the post but yes i did c** myself sunday)#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#im cursed with being a bit too self aware so#i think its compounded by my nepotism hire ... not letting me do my nepotism hire things#(for legal reasons i cannot say)#and then to add to that not letting me do anything I probably COULD actually do given slightly more instruction (at guard)#its just ... im a very angry person actually . except right now thats because im not EATING RIGHT EITHER#BECAUSE ALL OF MY PROBLEMS ARE COMBINING INTO ONE BIG INTERCONNECTED PROBLEM#back to my point.#guard instructors decided that for my first year i will not do anything cool because i'm not able to learn in about 2 seconds flat#[read: get very upset very quickly when i get things wrong and then . cant do them because im trying not to have a breakdown over]#[something REALLY STUPID like NOT BEING ABLE TO DO A SIMPLE TURN WHILE MOVING WITH THE FLAG]#so like okay. i get it okay. i'm not good at this. could you at least TELL ME i suck so i can feel justified about feeling bad about it.#could you just fucking tell me this isn't a guard where you can show up with no experience. could you do me a real solid and tell me that.#i dont know maybe the real sign it wasnt for me was when i was seriously considering not turning up for the second 'audition'#really i just hate how much he yells at us. not even at ME because i do so little there is no room to fuck it up. just at everyone else .#it doesn't motivate me to come back but i NEED 'friends' so bad and i love performing so now i just get anxious enough that i cant eat ..#.. before going to rehearsal. which is stupid. because i've done it a million times before.#......#i'm just.... everyone says he isn't actually that bad. & he used to be worse. so it really is just me.#it's just me being oversensitive. because i've never had any REAL experience in ... just about anything#so; yes. it IS on me how I feel and obviously how I react. and I keep pushing it down because it's stupid; really; to still feel this way.#anyways. our last weekend without a competition is this very weekend#so you'll never guess who's having a REALLY FUCKING HARD TIME trying to practice#i'm like this close to going to bed early and without having done the dance warmup for the third day in a row.#лёва there is no TIME why are you STILL NOT PRACTICING for the love of god get it together#(oh also when i say 'friends' in quotes it is because i desparately want to believe we're friends but they dont even talk to me really)#(and because im not even IN most of the show theres not much to bond over. literally like i have everything down Decent enough (apparently)#so theres not even any 'i will help u with this toss' team bonding. no shared moment of we are all out of breath because i DONT DO ANYTHING
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