#if it’s not gonna end in a throuple I don’t want it

[gimmeurtmi]

breathe — 2min

pairing: kim seungmin x fem!reader x lee minho

tags: established relationship, polyamory, bdsm, smut!!!🔞

warnings: swearing, throuple, mxm, degradation, pet play, breath play, collars and leashes, anal!!, butt plugs, oral (m receiving), nipple play (f), choking, seungmin and his canonically established pain kink, thigh humping, unprotected sex, sub/dom dynamics, sub!reader, mean dom!seung, soft dom!minho, implied subspace, use of “slut”, “bunny”, “bubs”, “pet”, “dumb”, slight humiliation kink, choking on cum, use of a non-verbal stop light system, reader goes yellow but it’s all good, absolutely sappy in the end, smut with so many feelings, lmk if i missed something!

inspo: 2min in the new teaser pics

notes: again, i got carried away. it appears the dirtier i try to make something the sappier it turns out. i think i started this two days ago and my mood drastically changed from horny as fuck to in love as fuck. please let me know how this turned out 🥹

{ wc: 5610 }

“And you’re sure you want to do this?” Minho asks, softly, as he turns the collar around in his hands.

It’s pink, a little bell hanging off the metal heart in the middle, three different slots available to tighten for size.

Seungmin bought it last week, after five whole days of discussions.

You asked your boyfriends for a collar, and Seungmin instantly agreed. Although it took a little more time to persuade Minho. He wanted it, you could tell by the crimson shade of his ears as soon as you initially brought the idea up—but Minho was the kind of boyfriend that never wanted to hurt you. Even though he knew you enjoyed it, he always wanted to protect you. Seungmin understood both of you equally, which was what helped the three of you work as flawlessly as you did. Seungmin shared Minho’s concerns, heard them and nodded his head silently, while also teasing you for how excited the idea made you.

In the end, Seungmin showed you three collars and when your eyes lingered a few seconds longer on the pink one he added it to his cart that night.

Yesterday the package arrived.

“Minho, I’m sure,” you promise him, “it’s gonna be so fucking hot.”

Minho smirked at you, shy and excited, his eyes locked on yours.

“You know Kim Seungmin loves you on your knees,” he says lowly, “I do, too.”

“You do?” You smile.

“Mhm hmm,” Minho nods sharply, “look so pretty with your beautiful eyes looking up at us.”

“Min, please,” you say, so soon, “put it on me?”

“Go get dressed,” Minho orders, “Seungminnie is gonna get here in ten minutes and then we can do everything you asked for.”

You smile big, excitedly clapping your hands together. Minho chuckles at you, eyes sparkling before he plants a small kiss on your lips.

“Go on,” he says, enamoured, before sitting back on the bed—collar still clutched tightly in his hand.

You quickly go to the bathroom, where your outfit is waiting on the counter. You get dressed, your new matching pink lace set fitting your body perfectly. The thong is a little tight, but you don’t think it’s gonna stay on for too long—so you don’t mind it much.

You take a look in the mirror, silently thanking Seungmin for his taste in lingerie; it makes you feel so incredibly sexy. You can’t wait to feel their eyes on you as they see the way the pink fabric compliments your curves.

With excitement, butterflies dancing all around your insides, you take a deep breath before walking back into the bedroom.

Minho’s spread on the bed, hand tucked behind his head as he scrolls on his phone. You can tell he’s looking forward to tonight, his sweats doing a poor job at concealing his already present bulge.

When he hears the bathroom door close shut, he looks up. His mouth falls open, front teeth peeking out as he looks you up and down three times. Then, “holy shit.”

“You like it?”

Minho swallows, eyes growing wide as he nods repeatedly.

“God, bunny,” he says, slightly breathless, “look at you.”

“I think I like it better when you look at me,” you chuckle.

“I’m looking,” he says, licking his lips, “god. Fuck.”

He sits up, his phone long forgotten and with a small flick of his fingers calls you over. You waste no time at all, quickly climbing on the bed to sit by his side.

“So pretty like this,” he runs his hands over your hair, softly brushing it with his fingers. “Pretty bunny.”

His hand leaves your hair after a few moments, running down your bare back before he softly cups your ass.

“So soft,” he hums, tucking his finger under the fabric of your g-string. He runs his finger up and down, tugging it tighter around you.

With his other hand, Minho runs his fingers over your stomach, higher and higher until he cups your tits in his hand. He’s gentle, rubbing his thumb over the soft lace and when your breath hitches he starts circling your nipple through your pink bra.

“Wanna touch you all over,” he mumbles, “but I don’t think it’ll be right to take these off yet. Look how perfect your tits are in this.”

You blush at his words but Minho is too distracted by your chest to comment on it. He pushes the cup down, only enough for your nipple to peak out, and then he rubs his thumb over it in quick motions.

You moan softly, mouth gaped and body already reeling from the touch. Something about Minho not even undressing you before he starts playing with your body ignites a fire in your stomach.

He leans forward, looking up at you as his lips wrap around your nipple, sparkling eyes locking on yours as he flicks his tongue repeatedly around your sensitive bud.

“Min, that feels really nice,” you sigh, carding your fingers through his soft hair. He smiles up at you, tongue flicking through his open lips before he closes his eyes—eagerly sucking around your nipple.

With a soft pop he moves away, rubbing his hand against your waist before giving the same attention to your other breast, eager to keep hearing your soft moans.

His hands join together behind your back, rubbing up and down freely before he cups your ass. He hums, content, the vibrations against your skin sending butterflies into your core.

He pulls away again, satisfied for the time being, looking up at you.

“I had an idea,” he says, lowly, “there was something else in the box I didn’t show you.”

“What was it?”

Minho reaches underneath the pillow, pulling out a long and white fluffy tail. You feel your face burning up.

“Why didn’t Seungmin say anything?” You ask, excitement buzzing through you at the idea of wearing a tail with the collar.

“This one was my idea,” Minho admits, a shy smile on his face.

“You can put it on me,” you say with a grin.

Then, Minho turns it around, showing you the small butt plug attached to the end of the tail.

You let out a small gasp, your lips forming a perfect circle at the realisation Minho actually bought you a toy like this. Your cheeks are so warm.

“I didn’t expect this from you,” you admit, taking the tail into your hands and inspecting it closer. The plug itself isn’t too big, but since the three of you don’t experiment with anal that often you know you’d feel a stretch either way. You feel your walls clench for a moment at the thought of wearing it.

“I didn’t expect it either,” Minho admits, cupping your ass and rubbing circles on it with his palms. “When Seungminnie showed me the website it popped up and I added it. I don’t know, bunny, the thought of you on your knees with a little tail between your legs made me so hard.”

“I want you to put it in, Minho,” you say, and your voice sounds foreign in your ears, “please.”

Minho nods.

He slips one of his hands beneath the pink fabric of your thong, his other hand gripping your ass hard. He brings his middle finger to your hole, circling it softly.

You grip his shoulders, breathing laboured as you lock your eyes on his.

“I need to get the lube,” Minho says, pressing the pad of his finger flat against your hole. You know he can slip it right in if he wanted to—but you can’t deny he’s right. His fingers are too dry and the slide won’t be easy at all, so Minho prefers to simply tease the entrance with his finger. It makes you moan either way, the novelty of it all and the sensitive nerves sending pleasure through your body with something as simple as this.

“I’ll go get it?” You offer through a small sigh.

“Delivery is on its way,” Minho says, leaning forward towards your chest and kissing around it.

You’re not sure what he means but you ignore it when he slowly starts pushing the tip of his finger in and out of your hole—in and out, in and out. You don’t think he inserts more than a centimetre inside you, but it still feels so so snug. So weird. So fucking good.

You hear the front door open and close before Seungmin’s voice follows with a small, “I’m home!” and the butterflies in your stomach start soaring.

Minho chuckles lightly, feeling the way your body reacts to Seungmin’s voice. “Excited to see our puppy?”

You nod happily, a broken gasp leaving your lips when Minho slips his finger in deeper. “He’ll be so happy to see you like this.”

The door to the bedroom practically flies open, and Seungmin doesn’t even say hello. He leans over you, a bottle of lube in his hands, and without any prior warning—he spills it directly on your ass.

It’s cold so you hiss loudly, but Seungmin only shushes you in return.

More and more of it trickles down your body, all over Minho’s finger and down to your cunt. All you can do is moan as Minho easily slips his finger all the way in, knuckle deep.

“There you go,” Minho coos, “take it, baby.”

“Feels so nice, Min,” you let your head fall forward, focusing on the pleasure the stretch provides you.

“Let me look at her, hyung,” Seungmin says, his voice covered in an edge you can’t quite place.

You let your eyes flutter open, moans tumbling freely out of your mouth as you look at Seungmin. He was at an important meeting, you aren’t too sure for what, but he was still wearing his smart clothes. They were so different from his every day sweats, and although you loved him in anything he wore, there was something particularly beautiful about Seungmin wearing tight fitting dress pants and a fashionable cardigan.

You wanted him to rip his clothes off.

“I knew you’d like the tail hyung got us,” Seungmin smirks, his eyes drinking in your outfit before settling on your lips, “knew you wanted it in every hole.”

“Seung,” you let out, ears growing warm at his accusation.

“I’m wrong?” You don’t answer, “our dirty little pet doesn’t like how hyung is fucking her ass right now?”

You moan as Minho makes a point of adding a second finger at that exact moment.

“Stretching you so well,” Seungmin mumbles, looking behind your back at Minho’s actions, “your holes were made for this.”

You reach out for Seungmin’s hand, pulling him closer to you, and he laces your fingers together as he sits down beside you.

“You bought the cutest set, Seungminnie,” Minho says, as he watches Seungmin’s fingers run over the lace.

“You chose the cutest tail,” he returns.

“I-I’m ready,” you sigh, “I want it in me.”

“She’s said that so many times already,” Minho reports, “she really wants it.”

“You want your collar, too?” Seungmin asks, sweetly.

“Yes, please,” you try your hardest not to sound too desperate, but the way they both laugh at you makes you think you failed.

Seungmin plants a soft kiss on your cheek before he looks around for the collar, and when he finds it somewhere on the bed he shakes it around. The little bell rattles around with a small repetitive dingdingding. Seungmin smirks.

“Oh, this is gonna be so fucking hot,” he chuckles, eyes lighting up.

Minho slips his fingers out slowly, kissing your shoulder as he tells you he thinks you’re ready now. You nod. You have no idea if he stretched you wide enough, but you don’t care. You just want them to start already.

You watch as Minho grabs the tail from the fluffy side, dowsing the plug side with lube before he looks up at you. The cautious look is back in his eyes, and he hesitates, but once he sees your blown pupils and quick breaths he leans forward.

He circles the plug around your hole a few times, letting you get used to the coolness of the lube (unlike Seungmin) before slowly pushing it inside you. He pulls it out, then back in—in out, in out, before it slips all the way inside you with a loud moan.

“Oh, my god,” you sigh, “feels so tight.”

Seungmin runs a hand up and down your thighs. Minho starts playing with the fluffy ends of the tail. You can hear him giggling.

“It’s okay, bunny?” Minho asks when you fall silent.

You nod, clenching your fists tightly to stop yourself from touching your clit and derailing the whole evening. Your senses are on fire, the tightness of the plug causing your walls to flutter repeatedly. You try to focus on your boyfriends, who are looking at you curiously.

“I have so many things I wanna do to you, bubs,” Seungmin says, “you’re good to let me ruin you?”

“Please, Seungmin,” you groan, “ruin me as much as you want.”

He chuckles. “Let’s get you dressed, yeah?”

He opens up the collar, watching you slowly as he secures it in place. He locks it on the first loop, the loosest option, and kisses you softly.

Minho runs his hands through your hair, delicately pulling it up into a ponytail as he pushes it away from your face. You aren’t sure when he got the hair tie, but he’s delicate with it, even pulling out a few strands from the side like how you always do.

“Thank you,” you say, surprised.

“So it doesn’t get in the way,” he explains. Your heart skips a beat, understanding they must’ve discussed what they wanted to do tonight beforehand, leaving it as a surprise for you.

Seungmin leans over your shoulder, kissing Minho’s lips messily, before the older pushes him off.

“Youngest first,” Minho says, pointing at the box at the edge of the room where the rest of the toys came from.

Seungmin gets up from the bed, grabbing a matching pink leash out of the box.

He secures the leash onto the collar, giving the handle to Minho before he steps back.

He opens the button on his pants.

You watch as he lets them fall onto the floor, pooling around his feet, along with his boxers.

His cock stands against his stomach at full hardness already, and you swallow tightly.

“Kim Seungmin,” Minho grumbles impatiently, “shirt off. We wanna see all of you.”

Seungmin rolls his eyes but acquiesces, chucking his shirt to the side.

“He’s so pretty,” you voice out loud.

“I know,” Minho agrees, reaching his fingers towards Seungmin's stomach. He runs them up and down the soft skin, and you watch fascinated as small goosebumps rise on the skin of his thighs.

“Minho,” you let out breathless, “I wanna bite him.”

Minho laughs, almost evilly. “I think you should.”

“Yeah?” You blink at Minho.

He nods. “You know how much our boy likes that kinda thing. Do what you want, bunny. I’ll pull you back if I want to, right?”

Your eyes move towards Minho’s hand, thick veins accenting his knuckles as the bright pink leash sits securely in his hands. You clench your thighs together.

Minho grabs one of the pillows and drops it to the floor, right at Seungmin’s feet.

“Down, pet,” Seungmin commands. You have to hold back a moan.

You slowly move onto the floor, knees comfortably sitting on top of the pillow Minho provided. Each small movement nudges the plug inside you—you feel so dizzy with want, with excitement, you aren’t sure you’re even in your own body.

But knowing Minho is holding onto you, connected to him by pink leather, puts you at ease. Minho would never let anything happen to you, and Seungmin would kiss you better if it ever did.

You get into position, holding onto Seungmin’s soft thighs.

“Open,” Seungmin orders, running his thumb across your chin. You open your mouth, instinctively sticking your tongue all the way out as you get comfortable on your knees.

Seungmin laughs at you, shaking his head softly.

“You were waiting to do that, huh?” He says, lowly.

You nod your head, and the bell around your neck starts clicking.

“Such a pathetic girl,” Seungmin whispers, “letting hyung stick a fucking tail in your ass? And you liked it?”

“I liked it so much, Seung,” you whine, “it feels so nice.”

“You didn’t even thank hyung,” Seungmin points out.

You feel a small tug at your collar, so you turn around towards Minho. He’s lying back, hand tucked beneath his head again, his black t-shirt showing off his arms beautifully.

“Thank you, Minho,” you say.

“For what?” Seungmin pushes.

“Thank you for fucking my ass with the tail,” you choke out, heat running up and down your entire body.

Minho doesn’t say anything, but you see his knuckles tighten around the leash.

Your chin is tugged harshly as Seungmin turns your head back towards him, smiling wickedly at you.

“Good pet,” he says, “now I’m gonna fuck a different hole of yours. And you’re not going to stop until hyung pulls you off, yeah?”

“Yes,” you sigh, “please.”

You feel Minho’s hand rub up and down your shoulder, as he plants a small kiss on your temple.

He grabs your hand, holding one of your fingers up.

“One finger means green,” he explains, kissing your knuckle. Then he holds up your second finger, “two means yellow,” then he unravels your whole hand so all your fingers are pointing upwards. He kisses your open palm before saying, “five fingers means red. Can you do that for us, bunny?”

“I can’t speak?” You ask after Minho gives you a small kiss.

“You’re allowed to,” Minho says, “but he’s gonna fuck your throat so you probably won’t be able to.”

You clench around the air, shifting on top of your knees.

You nod, fingers tingling at the idea before you look up at Seungmin.

His cock is bright red already, the head glistening slightly. You want to taste him.

You squeeze his thighs, making a point of using your nails, and he lets out a soft groan.

“Our pet has sharp claws, huh?” Minho chuckles.

You lean forward, planting a few kisses around his hip bone before you scrap your teeth against the skin.

Seungmin lets out a high pitch sigh.

“She bites, too,” Minho hums.

“Want more,” Seungmin groans as you bite him again, sucking on the skin before you lick over the small indents from your teeth.

Minho sinks his fingers into your roots, scraping against the nape of your neck with his blunt nails. You barely notice it when he guides your head further down Seungmin’s body.

Minho pushes your face against Seungmin’s pelvis, your nose brushing against the thick stubble. You kiss anywhere your lips can reach—but you can’t ignore the heat coming from his cock any longer.

Slowly, you lick the tip once and then twice and then Seungmin hisses, “take it all, pet. Come on.”

You do as you’re told, letting your jaw drop slack as you slip as much of it inside your mouth as you can.

The height isn’t exactly perfect for your current task, so you try to make up for it, lifting up on your knees to make up for Seungmin’s long legs.

Minho notices, and when he does, he tugs on the leash just enough so that you start struggling against his grip. He’s trying to push you back down to the floor.

The lower you are, the harder it is to fit all of Seungmin’s length inside your mouth but the more you try to lift up—the harder Minho tugs on your leash.

Your thighs are starting to shake.

As a distraction you focus on fluttering your tongue against Seungmin, sucking harder around his warm cock as the salty taste takes over your thoughts.

You want him closer, you want more, and when you drag your body towards him your pussy rubs just right against the pillow you’re sitting on.

You moan around him, and Seungmin throws his head back from the vibrations. Minho tugs on your leash in warning.

“Don’t even think about it,” he says.

Obviously, you do it again.

“Up,” he orders, “on your knees, up.”

You lift yourself up, struggling to sit up on your knees, but thankfully it’s much easier to control what you’re doing that way.

When you start finding your pace, head bobbing up and down freely, Minho tugs on the leash so quickly you lose your breath for a moment or two.

Once the collar isn’t digging into your throat as much you try to breathe in, but Seungmin holds your head in place.

“Such a warm hole for me,” he mumbles, “you don’t need to breathe, right?”

You look up at him, blinking away tears as you breathe in quickly through your nose.

He tugs at your ponytail until his dick falls out of your mouth. You gasp in as much air as you can.

“What do you like more, slut, breathing or my cock?”

“Your cock,” you say, embarrassingly fast, “it’s better than anything else.”

“God, you’ve gone entirely dumb,” Seungmin mocks, eyes narrowed at you.

You nod, the bell rings along with your movements. “Keep going, Seungmin. You said you’d ruin me, please fucking ruin me.”

“Hyung,” he whines, “I’m gonna cum all over her fucking face like this.”

At that Minho grabs you from behind, small hands covering your head as he guides you back onto Seungmin’s cock. You quickly swallow him in, getting used to the weight of him in your mouth again.

You grab onto his thighs for support, making sure to dig your nails into the skin again. As you let go of any control you have, you allow Minho to push your head up and down, up and down, while Seungmin gets louder and louder.

You bring your hands onto his stomach, scratching five long lines on each side from his hips to his thighs.

Seungmin keens.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he starts chanting, “do it-do that, do that again.”

Minho runs his hand down Seungmin’s back, scratching harshly as Seungmin lets out his loudest moan yet.

“Make her choke on my cum, make her choke on it, fuck fuck fuck—“

Minho shoves your head down until your nose is flush against Seungmin’s pelvis. You look for air anywhere you can but there isn’t much. The tip is so deep inside your throat you’re sure it can be seen clearly through your neck, but neither of them can see anything when you’re pressed flush against Seungmin.

A moment or two of nothing but Seungmin’s moans and you gagging, and then the salty taste gets stronger and his cum fills your throat in a sudden gush and Minho pulls you off in a matter of seconds.

You don’t even open your eyes, too overwhelmed by the speed of it all, focusing all your efforts on making up for the lack in your lungs without actually choking on your boyfriend’s cum.

Once you recover enough you remember to swallow what’s left in your mouth, the rest spilled all over you and the pillow and your brand new pink lace.

You feel a hand on your chin, cleaning you up, and when you open your eyes Minho’s looking you up and down seriously.

“How are we doing?”

“Green,” you practically moan, “keep going, I’m not done.”

“Calm down,” Seungmin chuckles, sitting on the edge of the bed, “you sucked my soul out.”

You grin at that, pride filling your chest at the state he’s in.

His chest is covered in a sheer layer of sweat, bangs sticking to his forehead even though he styled them away from his face today—and his cheeks are bright pink. There’s scratches all down his thighs; you imagine his back doesn’t look any better. He can barely keep his eyes open, still breathing in and out with effort.

“You’re so fucking hot like this, Seung,” you groan, “please, I can go again.”

“I can’t,” he falls on his back, covering his face with his arm as his chest raises up and down rapidly. “Leave me alone.”

You look up at Minho, eyebrows lifting in a silent plea.

“Go on,” he says, one corner of his lips lifting up into a smile, “hump his thighs.”

Seungmin groans, as if protesting, but he spreads himself on the bed until he looks comfortable. Then, he lifts his arm away from his eyes.

He licks his lips and you notice his breathing has settled down slightly. He doesn’t move, barely reacts as you climb onto his thigh and drag your cunt over the soft skin.

You groan as the damp fabric rubs against your folds.

There’s a constant ding ding ding from the bell, the sound spurring you on to go faster and faster.

“You did so well,” Minho praises, “and you’re so eager to do more. You have to cum for us first as a reward for all your hard work.”

You nod, “yeah, thank you. Thank you, Minho.”

“Like when you train a puppy to do tricks,” Seungmin explains, “we’re gonna let you cum as your treat.”

You whine at his words, dragging your hips back and forth at an aching pace.

“Show off your tail, baby,” Minho mumbles, “looks so fucking hot when it bounces around like that.”

You can’t imagine there’s any kind of grace in your movements, far too concerned with chasing the pleasure to think of how it looks—but Minho’s eyes are frozen on your ass, completely enchanted by the fluffy white tail.

It’s only when he slaps your ass, the surprise causing you to fall forward on Seungmin’s chest, that you feel yourself on the edge of cumming. The drag of your cunt against Seungmin’s thigh and the newfound angle nudging the plug inside you just right causes your moans to get more intense, louder, more desperate.

Seungmin grabs your tits with both hands, “bubs, cum.”

He says it like a command, like all the other commands he gave you so far tonight, and your body has already learned to react to anything he says.

You instantly start shaking in his hold, tingles running all the way from your toes to the tips of your fingers as your orgasm crashes through you. You clench tightly, the plug making it all the more sweeter as you ride it out for as long as you can.

You collapse on top of Seungmin, a content hum echoing against your chest when he pulls you into a hug.

You watch as Minho lays down next to Seungmin, brushing any stray hairs that fell out of your ponytail from all your efforts. You aren’t sure when he stripped down but he’s completely naked now, and you let yourself indulge in the beautiful sight of his bare body. From his sculptured chest to his thick thighs to his gorgeous cock sitting angry and needy against his stomach.

Seungmin kisses the top of your head, then lazily kisses Minho’s cheek.

“How are you, baby?” He asks.

“So hard I could cry,” Minho chuckles.

Seungmin’s hand wraps around the base of Minho’s cock, squeezing tightly.

Minho groans loudly, the sound so different from how composed he’s been so far. You can see his desperation when he shuts his eyes tightly, mouth hanging open.

“Bunny,” he groans, “how are you?”

All you can do is lift up two fingers.

“Need more rest?” You nod.

“Don’t worry, hyung,” Seungmin says, giving Minho’s cock one full stroke, “I’ll take care of it while our baby rests.”

Seungmin holds you in one arm and uses the other to keep pumping Minho’s cock. Minho moans freely, letting himself enjoy the attention finally being on him.

You know he prefers giving when it’s the three of you, and especially when you decide to try one of your own kinks, but he still loves when the attention is on him—and who wouldn’t love one of Seungmin’s big hands all over them?

No more than thirty seconds pass before you decide you’ve rested enough.

“Let me sit on it,” you mumble out, “want his cock in me.”

“She still sounds so desperate,” Seungmin hums, “we can all barely move but she’s still hungry for cock.”

Minho smiles lazily, grabbing at the leash and pulling you towards him.

You aren’t very graceful when you climb over to his side but you have to do it quickly, the collar already pressing down on your windpipe.

Minho helps you settle on his thighs. You notice just how much bigger they are than Seungmin’s when the stretch in your thigh deepens from the prolonged positioned you’re in.

He pushes your ruined underwear to the side while guiding his cock towards your entrance. He nudges the tip against your clit, spreading all your wetness on his cock before he easily slips it inside you.

It feels tighter than usual, the plug sitting snug right by his cock, and you can cum from the thought alone.

“You two look so good together,” Seungmin mumbles, cupping his balls. With his other hand, he brushes Minho’s hair out of his eyes. “I’m so in love with you two.”

Minho thrusts up, hard, surprising a squeal out of you.

“Oh my god,” Minho groans, “tell him if he says that again I’ll cum.”

“Seungie,” you start, and Minho instantly picks up his pace, practically drilling into you from below, “S-Seungie, tell Minho how, fuck, how much you love him.”

“Shut up,” Minho warns, snapping the leash. You clench as your breath hitches, but that doesn’t stop you.

You wrap your hands around Seungmin’s cock, at full hardness again already, and start lazily stroking him.

He bites his plump lip, blinking slowly at the pair of you.

“Fuck, I love you two so much,” he groans. You pump him faster.

Your coordination is awful, and Minho’s thrusts keep jolting you around, and all three of you can barely move but neither one of you will stop.

It should be awkward. You think it’s nothing less than perfect.

“Hyungie is the best boyfriend I could’ve asked for, and you’re the best girlfriend. It’s like I have the entire world here with me when we’re together. I’m so lucky you two are mine,”

You feel Minho’s dick twitching inside you.

“Say it again,” you whine, “fuck, Seung, I love you.”

He sits up enough to kiss you firmly on the lips, and it’s one too many things to focus on so you don’t think you do a good job of it at all.

You try to put all your energy on Seungmin’s cock, knowing Minho is controlling his own pace well enough, but Seungmin already came tonight and your hand isn’t fast enough.

Still, “Seungmin, I love you so much,” Minho moans. “Fuck, I love you both with my entire heart.”

“Minho,” you whine, not used to him saying things like that so desperately.

“Hyungie,” Seungmin says as he pulls him in for a kiss, “you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

The three of you start breathing desperately, all broken moans and messy kisses.

“I need you two like I need air,” Seungmin says.

“I couldn’t breathe without either one of you,” Minho agrees.

“Fuck,” you gasp out as Seungmin pushes the tail deeper inside you, “I need you two, I need you two more than anything.”

“I’m gonna cum,” Minho warms.

“Min, I love you,” you kiss him, “cum for us, Min, wanna feel you so close inside me.”

“M-me too,” Seungmin groans, “gonna cum, too.”

You can’t be the only one left out, and so you quickly start rubbing your clit in figure-eights with your free hand. It’s a mess of movements and an unsynchronized chorus of moans—but soon the three of you are all hit with it at the same time.

Minho gets there first, and it’s a domino reaction when Seungmin notices his boyfriend cumming inside his girlfriend, and your body reacts to the pair of them slowly after.

Minho carefully guides you off his thighs, ignoring the mess between your legs and the way it’s slipping out of your cunt and all over the bed.

He unlocks the leash, opens the collar and throws it off to the side somewhere. He only needs one hand to do so, and you can’t suppress the moan that leaves you from the sight of it. Luckily, they don’t think much of it as the three of you are all still sensitive.

Minho slowly, and with a few reassuring words, slips the plug out as well.

The pair of them rub over your neck and your sore thighs and your exhausted wrist. Minho takes a bit of water and washes over your neck to make sure your skin doesn’t get too irritated and then he makes sure to give you what little is left in the water bottle to drink. Everything still tastes of Seungmin, though.

After a few minutes Minho settles down against your chest, reaching a hand to hold onto Seungmin’s hips.

You’re sandwiched so closely together you might actually stop breathing soon—somehow it’s still not close enough.

“Kim Seungmin,” Minho mumbles, eyes closed, “since when do you get sappy during sex?”

“Wasn’t my fault,” he mumbles sleepily back, “I was overwhelmed. I truly meant it all.”

“Of course you did,” Minho says, as if stating a fact. “There’s a lot of things I’m unsure of, but what the three of us have together isn’t one of them.”

“If you guys don’t shut up I’ll start crying,” you threaten.

Minho kisses your cheek. Seungmin kisses your shoulder.

“You mean the world to me, bubs,” Seungmin mumbles.

“I will cry,” you groan.

“Fine, I hate you. Happy?” Seungmin chuckles.

You giggle at him, “I hate you, too.”

“Why are you two so annoying?” Minho smiles, big and content. You kiss his cheek softly.

It’s sweaty in your three way hug, and you’re still sticky all over, and your throat is on fire from thirst. But still, you don’t move yet, entirely content with being wrapped all around the two of them, unsure of where you end and they begin. It’s fitting like that, you think to yourself, being so close together your breath easily turns into theirs.

#all.works #skz x reader #skz x you #skz x y/n #poly!skz #2min smut #2min x reader #lee know x reader #lee know x you #lee know x y/n #lee know smut #skz smut #seungmin x reader #seungmin x you #seungmin x y/n #seungmin smut #kim seungmin x reader #kim seungmin x you #kim seungmin smut #lee minho x reader #lee minho smut #stray kids x reader #stray kids x you #stray kids smut #2mints

[1d1195]

Love and Dryer Sheets V

Read the rest here: Love and Dryer Sheets

The good news if you're still liking this story: we're gonna squeeze one more part out of this series. Hope you're still enjoying. Thank you for reading.

~7.5k words (she's a bit longer. Got a lot going on and I think she gets kinda messy like all the relationships here.)

Warnings: angst, toxic relationships, maybe a little fluff.

“Here,” she offered appearing at his side as he started to fish his stuff back out of the washer. He turned to her and she thought she might melt. Harry was so beautiful. His eyes, his mouth, his skin. He was tall and she knew he was warm and strong. She knew what his lips tasted like. It was so unfair and yet, she couldn’t stop herself.

Good. Her heart was practically giggling with delight.

She didn’t tell Niall about the kiss. She thought it wouldn’t do any good at all. Especially because Niall would threaten to kill Harry and she wasn’t fully sure he even knew how to make a fist. Plus, with his impending year-long move, it seemed like too much to put on his plate at the time.

But when he eventually found out, she imagined he would be pretty mad at her. So, it took her a really long time to decide not to tell him. Especially while they were spending practically every waking moment together. Fortunately, that allowed her to refrain from think about Harry for seven days straight.

Or...more so... not think about him that much. With eyes the color of muted emeralds it was like her mind was on a yellow brick road right back to him whenever she had a moment of time to think about something other than her unending heartbreak.

She was careful to rearrange her laundry schedule so as not to run into him. She took the stairs instead of the elevator. Once she saw him coming in from the rainy wind and she darted into the mail room just to avoid him. It was childish and stupid, running from him like that. But she couldn’t help it. Seeing him would make her cave.

But you want to be friends with him. Her heart reminded her.

I don’t care, she responded internally.

Even I know that’s a lie, her brain grumbled in response.

Work provided her great distraction as well. Sad, of course— because what else was supposed to happen in her life these days? —but it was a distraction, nonetheless. Sighing, she rubbed her forehead looking over her schedule for the next day, thinking about what needed to be accomplished, what activities she needed to print in the morning, and priorities she needed to complete.

She really needed to go grocery shopping.

She had spent most of her last nights with Niall eating out or getting takeaway while they packed his stuff. He was subletting to a friend for the year. Mostly to hold his place. The Missus would be traveling overseas to be with Niall by the end of next month, which was extremely exciting for their relationship. “Looks like I’ll be all by myself at thirty-five,” she joked in with him labeling cardboard boxes as kitchen.

Niall smirked. “M’sure I can convince her that we can be a throuple,” he winked at her.

“Sorry Ni, I hate sharing,” she smirked knowing the idea was truer than he would know for a while. She planned on telling him within the first couple of months—once he was a little settled and she was surely over it.

Plus, she wanted to be sure that he wouldn’t come flying back before he unpacked.

But Niall was officially in flight. She was watching her phone making sure his flight didn’t suddenly fall off the radar or that it didn’t indicate it was exploding mid-flight. He was going to call her as soon as he landed. She was third on the list after his girlfriend and mother and was not to panic unless it approached an hour of waiting for his call. Those were her instructions.

Timing her grocery shopping was exactly what she needed at that moment.

If she had gotten the parking spot she wanted, it might not have happened. If Niall had called two seconds earlier, she would have been answering her phone outside instead of in the lobby. She would have been in the elevator. Or she would have stopped for the mail and wouldn’t have been juggling the bags and her phone.

But instead, everything happened at once. She wanted to ensure Niall was there safely, so she struggled to answer her phone with the groceries attached to her arms.

“Hey, Ni! How was your—”

Before she could finish her question, the phone was knocked from her hands almost violently along with the bags of groceries she was carrying. Naturally it contained her eggs. She stumbled a bit nearly sliding ungraciously in the cracked egg mixture on the floor. Her phone skittered across the floor near the entry way to the mail cubby’s.

“Jesus, watch where you’re going,” it was the beautiful woman who felt she was in the way in the mail space back when she first moved in. She was just as beautiful as the last time she ran into her. Her hair was long and flowing, her eyelashes would make an angel jealous, if she smiled—and she realized it seemed like it would take an act of God to get her to smile—she imagined she had perfect teeth that were hidden behind her pretty full lips.

She scrambled to get to her feet, her leggings getting egg yolk on them. Thank God she bought paper towels as well.

“Ava! What the fuck?”

It was pathetic that she knew Harry’s voice without looking. She was struggling to get the paper towels out of the plastic. She could hear Niall calling from her phone a few feet away from the mess as she struggled to get her items that weren’t broken back into the bags. She desperately wanted to answer Niall, but she was practically mute. “She was in the way!”

“Ava!” Harry hissed.

“For God’s sake Harry. You’re always worried about everyone else around us but me.”

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

Harry turned from Ava to glare at her. She swallowed the lump in her throat feeling like she had done something bad. It was the first time she had seen Harry in a week, and he looked...

Exhausted.

She wished she could ask him a thousand questions because even though she felt terrible about what she had done, she missed Harry more than she could ever describe. Niall was no longer yelling. She wondered if he hung up. At least she knew he was alive. Hopefully he wasn’t boarding a plane right back.

“I’ll be right out,” Harry snapped as Ava rolled her eyes and headed out the door. It could only have been a total of two minutes, but it felt like hours between the moment Ava bumped into her and the present. It felt like a front of cold air left the room the moment Ava exited. She nearly breathed a sigh of relief—almost the same one that Harry released as she left.

The room was silent. She heard Niall calling from her phone again and she finally grabbed it, trying not to get more egg yolk on her hands and none in her hair if she could help it.

“Hello?”

“Are you okay?” Niall asked, his voice hitching nervously.

“Niall, I’m so sorry. I’ll call you back in like...half an hour,” she whispered.

“Are you telling me that the Wicked Witch of the West is Harry’s girlfriend? I cannot believe you apologize to her,” he spoke without answering her statement. “No wonder he spends all his time doing laun—”

She hung up before he could say anymore just in case Harry could hear. She hadn’t mentioned the break they had embarked upon to Niall. If he said anything, she could easily say that his move had monopolized the entire week and it worked because she found out he had a girlfriend. She just wouldn’t say how she found out he had a girlfriend.

Of course, someone as beautiful as Ava would be with someone like Harry. Someone equally beautiful. They would make gorgeous children. Take the most perfect pictures. It made sense that the pair of them would be in a relationship.

Except Harry is nice and she is wicked. The voice in her head and her heart agreed.

“Christ, love. M’sorry,” he whispered softly.

It was the first time they had spoken since she told him they couldn’t see each other for a while. That they couldn’t be friends. His voice was so gentle and warm. She couldn’t believe that in just over a week she craved hearing it. It felt like she was basking in the sun. But she shouldn’t have been thinking like that. It was also...jarring...to hear the difference in his tone between how he had spoken to Ava compared to how he was speaking to her.

“It’s okay,” she murmured finally getting a swath of paper towels to clean up the mess. “I was in the way.”

Harry knelt beside her pulling the roll of paper towels from her hands with an exasperated sigh, leaving his lips again as he started to help clean up. “Y’weren’t, though,” he mumbled.

She shrugged trying to ignore the crazy beat of her heart being so close to him again. It was just a week, but it felt like years since she had seen him, but also like no time had passed at all. As if they hadn’t stopped speaking and this was nearly normal.

“You don’t have to help,” she said. “I’m sure she’s waiting.”

“She can wait,” he grumbled.

“Harry.”

“I’ll get y’some eggs while we’re out,” he promised.

“That’s not necessary,” she shook her head, her cheeks warming.

“Yes, it is, I would buy y’some new leggings too if—”

“I’ll just wash them, seriously.”

They were quiet. Harry grabbed the trash can that was over by the elevator and dumped the paper towels in. They cleaned up the rest of the mess in silence. “I’m sorry,” he repeated. But she could tell from the tone in his voice that he wasn’t apologizing for just the spill.

“It’s alright. It’s not your fault.” He sighed the frustration evident on his face, in his body language, and in the way he was breathing. “Harry,” she whispered quietly pressing a hand to his arm. “It’s alright,” she promised. It was ridiculous she was comforting him. She doesn’t even know how Ava bumped into her. She knew it wasn’t her fault, but she didn’t like how guilty Harry felt. He looked at her hand on his arm for a moment and she pulled it away after a gentle, comforting squeeze. “You should go,” she smiled gently at him. A slight wrinkle of her cute nose.

“M’really sorry.”

She shook her head. “It’s just eggs,” she shrugged. “It’s okay.”

He nodded. They both knew it was more than eggs. It was kissing in the laundry room behind Ava’s back. No matter how wicked she seemed, it wasn’t okay.

Even if she’s the worst? Her heart asked internally.

I’m on your side this time. Her brain answered.

She ignored them both. “M’sorry,” he repeated. “See you around...I guess,” he murmured. Just like before.

Her heart felt a pang of sadness course through her and she watched him exit, glancing back just once to give her a tired wave. She felt tired, too. Tired of hiding her emotions and tired of missing Harry.

But that would have to wait because she really wanted to get out of her clothes covered in egg yolks.

*

“I can’t believe you apologized.”

Niall’s face was backlit by the dark evening of his surroundings. His new place was sparse since none of his stuff had arrived yet. But somehow his move was overshadowed by the insanity that took place that afternoon.

“I don’t know, Ni...” she sighed.

“I...I don’t think you should count Harry out yet... Obviously, he’s doing laundry because he’s miserable.”

“That’s not an excuse for flirting,” she grumbled. Maybe Niall wouldn’t be upset with Harry when she told him.

“No of course not, princess. But like...” he sighed. “That girl is a witch. I wasn’t kidding...I can see why he would want to flirt with someone pretty and nice like you.”

She felt her face warm at Niall’s assessment when there was a knock on her door. “Hang on.”

“The theme for today.”

She went to the door just in time to see the elevator closing. On the floor mat was a paper bag. A frowny face was drawn in black marker. She felt her heart flutter already knowing what was inside the bag. She opened it anyway. There she found a dozen eggs beneath a pair of folded leggings with the tag intact and a receipt. She sighed looking at the elevator already long gone.

She returned to her phone call. “S’that Harry?” Niall asked.

“Probably,” she muttered.

“Probably?”

“He left a bag of eggs. And a new pair of leggings.”

“Wow, he guessed your clothing size. He must be in love with you.”

She shook her head wishing what he said was true. “Niall, stop.”

He sighed. “I miss you already, darling.”

She smiled weakly. “I miss you too.”

“You should come visit before the year’s out. Show you around my old neighborhood.”

She nodded, wishing she could hug her best friend right then, through the phone screen. “I’d like that.”

“Have a good rest of your day, princess.”

*

It was a public space. Unavoidable. They were definitely going to run into each other. It was a matter of when not if. When Harry arrived, a full basket on his hip, he turned at the sight of her. The hammering of her heart didn’t stop her from sighing deeply.

“Wait...It’s a free country,” she mumbled and shrugged her assent. No use in monopolizing communal space. She was an adult and could handle the pair of them doing laundry at the same time. As long as she didn’t think about his mouth and how it tasted like mint gum and heaven.

Hesitantly, he picked a different washer than he normally did, a few spaces down from her rather than across from her.  They didn’t speak. They didn’t even look at each other. Her heart rate felt like it was a hummingbird’s wing. It felt so warm in the laundry room.

Talk to him! Her heart was whispering.

Do not talk to him. Her brain protested.

She was fortunate the laundry covered her awkward huff of laughter listening to the battle she was feeling internally. Harry didn’t seem to register it. Maybe they would just never speak again.

*

It seemed like that would be the case as far as she could tell. She had lost count how many times they had sat silently reading and waiting for their laundry loads to finish.

Harry was once more in the laundry room at the same time as her. She essentially ignored his presence for the sake of her heart and mind. Although, she felt her heart would be grateful if she started talking to him again. It had been two weeks since the eggs incident. Three weeks since they agreed to not see each other anymore.

The only chattering interaction they had was a few days ago when Harry obviously forgot laundry detergent after he had thrown all his stuff into the washer. Naturally, the little dispensary was empty, again. Unlike the last time he checked it, he didn’t punch the side of the machine. Instead, he just sighed heavily, grumbling to himself.

“Here,” she offered appearing at his side as he started to fish his stuff back out of the washer. He turned to her and she thought she might melt. Harry was so beautiful. His eyes, his mouth, his skin. He was tall and she knew he was warm and strong. She knew what his lips tasted like. It was so unfair and yet, she couldn’t stop herself.

Good. Her heart was practically giggling with delight.

“Oh...thanks, love.”

She wondered if Harry felt the spark of electricity that pierced her skin when Harry’s hand touched hers grabbing the jug from her.

He did.

*

“You probably think m’an idiot.”

She was literally trying to reach into the dryer to grab the sock that had clung with static to the back of the machine when she heard his voice. Her heart skipped a beat as it always did when she heard him. There was no denying how excited she was to hear his voice. She pulled herself out of the machine and turned to him. “What?” She asked her eyebrows pinching together. It was a weird way to enter a room, let alone start a conversation. Especially after what she would have to call a breakup for lack of a better term.

“For being with someone like Ava,” he started to pace along the length of the machines. He ran his hands through his hair making a mess of the curls. She thought her heart might break. She had experienced this kind of frustration firsthand. “Everyone says it. That they think m’stupid. That she’s awful and I should ‘ve broken up with her ages ago...” he mumbled. She frowned. “But...we’ve been together for s’long and—"

“I don’t think you’re an idiot,” she interrupted quickly. Her voice was even, and he nearly bumped into the back wall as he spun to look at her. She was holding a pair of sweatpants in her hands, but she was making specific, intense eye contact with Harry. Even if she shouldn’t be talking to him. She didn’t want him to think that she thought poorly of him.

“Y’don’t?” He asked quietly.

She shook her head. “It’s no one’s business but yours and Ava’s,” her name tasted bad in her mouth, but she knew it was because it was coated with jealousy. She didn’t have to like Ava, but that didn’t mean that Harry couldn’t. Harry also liked her. It seemed pretty obvious. She can’t imagine him not liking her and nearly ruining his relationship with Ava. She knew she was different than Ava. Maybe she was willing to believe that Harry saw good in people. She did the same thing. It would be hypocritical of her to not understand Harry’s plight when she suffered from the very same thing for nearly three years as well.

He stopped pacing and moved to his regular washer. He perched on top and watched her fold her laundry for a few moments. It was like before he ruined everything with a kiss. He wished he had listened to the little voice in his head all those months leading up to the kiss. Of course, it was right. Of course. She didn’t pay mind to Harry sitting there.

“Can we be friends?” He asked quietly. “Please?”

Niall had left for a year. Her family didn’t really live all that close. Her coworkers, while great people, were work friends. Everyone she worked with dealt with very sensitive cases and that had a lot of emotion. If they saw each other outside of work, she worried it would carry over too heavily, all that weighty emotion.

She could really use a friend.

But she wasn’t sure Harry wasn’t the right friend. She messed up, even though Harry had owned up to the mistake. She was part of it, and she worried that if she was friends with Harry, it would be a slippery slope to fall for someone she shouldn’t.

“I promise I won’t kiss y’again,” he murmured. As if he had read her mind. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Mistakes happen,” she shrugged. “I just don’t—”

“Sunshine,” he interrupted. “I shouldn’t have kissed you. But it wasn’t a mistake. I shouldn’t have called it that. Kissing you was like...breathing fresh air for the first time in...years.”

She closed her eyes, wishing she could do something about it. “You can’t stay stuff like that.”

There was an antagonizing pause while he thought this over. “I won’t bring it up again,” he promised.

There’s no harm in being friends. Her heart was whispering to her. You’re a great friend.

She looked at him for the first time, head on. He was already looking at her. His pretty green eyes. She knew his pretty pink lips were soft and warm. She knew his skin was warm too. Her heart skipped a beat. “We can be friends,” she said softly.

He sighed with relief and hurried over to wrap his arms around her. He squeezed her tightly. “Missed y’so much,” he mumbled into her hair.

Oh, this was a mistake. The voice in her head tutted.

Let it happen. I miss Niall. Her heart reminded the voice in response.

She closed her eyes, breathing in his scent and dropped the pair of socks she had in her hands on the floor so she could hug him back. Please don’t let this be a mistake.

*

They resumed their reading and chatting relationship as if the few weeks spent not talking hadn’t happened. Harry watched her fold laundry as if it were the most amazing thing in the world. It didn’t help that he thought she was the most amazing thing in the world.

You need to relax.His conscience was back, analyzing his every movement and every word he spoke to the pretty girl.

I have a handle on it. He thought back to the little voice. It was just the laundry room. At most it was an hour of a day that they spent chatting together. Or even not chatting when they had books.

“How’s work been?” He asked, trying to fill the silence for a moment.

He also wanted to fill the silence so he wouldn’t hug her again. He refrained from touching her after that because it felt so right and good. It made him feel whole. So maybe, Harry refrained from it. She seemed to have no problem compartmentalizing the moment that nearly ruined their friendship.

Which would have been a travesty because she was a really good friend. “It’s good. One of my patients got some good news so we’ve been navigating that, and it’s been really exciting because they’ve been dealing with struggles for a super long time,” she explained.

“That’s great,” he smiled. It felt nice to talk to her again. He was glad she was doing okay.

Harry was doing alright too. Work was normal and good. But he and Ava seemed to be fighting less and less. Which was great for his anger and his psyche. It allowed him to think about how he shouldn’t have kissed this lovely girl too. Even if he couldn’t tell her that.

Harry wasn’t intentionally mean-spirited. So, he didn’t bring up Ava unless she inquired.

“Can I ask a question that’s been bugging me?” She asked. He nodded. He was an open book with her. He had to be now. “Did you tell her?”

It was no use lying, but Harry kind of wanted to lie to her. He shook his head. “No.”

She waited for him to elaborate, but it seemed that Harry didn’t want to. He didn’t want it to be a thing. “Are you...going to?”

He shook his head silently. He knew that was wrong. Of course, he should have told Ava. But what good would come from it? Telling her that she made him miserable. Especially when they had been getting along better than they had in months...maybe even years.

“Harry,” she said softly.

“I know, love. I know...s’jus’—”

“I’m not judging you, I’m sure you have a reason. I don’t have to know it, but...I think it will eat at you,” she reminded him. “I didn’t tell my ex-boyfriend I wanted out of our relationship for over a year, and it made me...a mess,” she explained. “I know it’s hard, I just don’t want you to...be a mess.”

“Little late for that,” he muttered.

She giggled lightly. Harry thought it sounded like angels singing. “I won’t bring it up again,” she shrugged. “Your secret is safe with me, that’s for sure.”

“I imagine Niall wants t’kill me.” The silence was deafening as she ignored the insinuation that she told Niall about it. “Oh?” He smirked in surprise. “Y’don’t gossip over who y’kiss?”

She shook her head. “No... Niall...Niall moved for the year—maybe longer, for work. Overseas. I didn’t want to add more to his plate... and no: I didn’t want him to kill you. Not sure he would know how.”

“Oh, Sunshine. M’sorry,” he frowned. Losing her best friend for a while must have been really hard. He hadn’t spoke to her in three weeks and it felt like death. He had only known her a short while and she had known Niall almost half her life. “When did that happen?”

She smirked. “Uh...the day we stopped talking.” Harry took a moment to process that, and his frown deepened. He knew how sad that day was for him. But he would never forget the tears she shed and the way she looked so upset. Add losing her best friend? The poor thing. Harry’s heart broke all over again. “I do want to tell him. I’m just waiting for the right moment.”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Don’t blame you.”

It was surreal to talk about it as if it had happened but also didn’t happen at the same time. He thought her brain was much too kind. Letting Harry keep secrets. “How...how is Ava?”

He snorted. “Sunshine, y’don’t have t’do that. M’sure s’hard...I mean I feel—”

“No,” she shook her head tamping down the jealousy that felt like hot air rising from her chest and out of her mouth. “No, this is what friends do. They ask about their friends’ significant others.”

Harry sighed. “Yeah...um...s’good. We’ve been arguing less.”

“That’s great!” But her heart felt like it was severing in half.

“I don’t know what causes the arguments sometimes. Contrary t’some of m’actions...m’a pretty smart guy,” he shrugged. She smiled sweetly at his insult toward himself thinking it was adorable. At least he knew he was an idiot. “S’weird though. I feel like she doesn’t like me the way she used to. But s’like we’re...stuck.”

She nodded. “Well...in my last relationship, I felt like I was stuck for over a year and I just...I couldn’t pull myself out of it. I hit rock bottom, though. Niall had to get me out.”

There was a huge pause. She went back to reading her book. This wasn’t unusual for their conversations. Harry needed time to process, think about what he wanted to say. But he was thinking about this past relationship of hers. In the three or so times she had spoken about it... it didn’t sound like something the embodiment of sunshine should have had to endure. Someone that liked a children’s fairy tale as much as she did, didn’t deserve a crummy relationship. Or a crummy guy like Harry kissing her out of nowhere. “S’horrible of me t’talk ‘bout this t’you,” he mumbled.

She shrugged. “I don’t think so. I did a whole round of clinical counseling on relationships. I’m actually probably the best person to talk about this to,” she smiled behind her book. Her eyes glinted with excitement, like she knew it was torturing Harry a bit.

Good for her. His little voice muttered.

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“Friends talk about their relationships,” she nodded. “It’s okay,” she promised. “I would tell you if I was uncomfortable.”

Harry wanted to tell her he was uncomfortable not kissing her and not holding her right this very second. He knew it was wrong and he was glad that she couldn’t read his thoughts. He knew it wasn’t fair to Ava either. Ava was making serious efforts to be nicer. It was...bizarre.

Explore that. Harry’s heart suggested.

“Listen,” she sighed. “Do you want to break up with her?”

Harry frowned and looked at his lap. He couldn’t look at her when talked about this. No matter how okay she said it was. He shook his head.

He didn’t. He didn’t want people to say I told you so. He didn’t want to think about all the time that he had wasted. But it wasn’t a waste, right? It was good for a while. Even still had good in it, sometimes. Sparingly. Was that a reason to stay? To prove to people it was okay? That he was okay? For the few good times they had together anymore, it didn’t seem like a good idea. But he couldn’t bring himself to think differently.

“Then you’ll make it work,” she shrugged. “If and when you want to break up, that’s when you’ll know.”

Harry nodded. He didn’t speak again for a while. They enjoyed their books. “Y’said your parents don’t love each other,” he murmured randomly.

She nodded sullenly. “I feel that way. I would imagine they do... but it’s hard to see as an outsider.”

Harry thought he knew exactly what that looked like. “Do you want them t’get divorced?” He asked.

She put her book in her lap and looked at the ceiling in thought. She tilted her head to the left and right contemplating such a loaded question. It seemed obvious. Of course, she did. They were miserable together.

“No,” she shook her head. “I don’t think I do...or...I do but... I think I would be really sad if they did. It’s kind of selfish of me. But you know... they have a complicated relationship. They’ve been together for a lot longer than I’ve been alive... I don’t know everything about them. Who knows,” she shrugged. “I think their love language is fighting. That’s all.”

More silence.

When her washer went off and she was switching over to the dryer, Harry thought about kissing her again. Just to make the hurt in her life go away. Even for a minute. She deserved that. “Do you have a fried cauliflower recipe?” She asked.

He looked up and smirked. “Y’gonna be a big girl and try something new?”

She rolled her eyes at him. “Yeah. M’trying something new all the time these days.”

*

Being friends was a dream. Even if their friendship didn’t leave the laundry room. She gave great advice. Even better recipes. Fantastic book recommendations. She even had good recommendations to things in town that Harry hadn’t tried yet. He had no idea there was a mom-and-pop bookstore just two streets over. The late night café had delicious coffee and peppermint hot chocolate.

It was easy to be friends. There was no arguing. Not real arguing. They still argued about her ten-year-old taste buds and his failure to see why Andrew Garfield was better. Their debates while meaningless (she had joked that she was coming up with weird debates for her patients to relieve the seriousness of their situations—so now she had to live with the knowledge that Harry thought cereal was a soup), were fun. It was fun hanging out with her. Not arguing over socks or keys. Or whether they were arguing too much.

She tossed her last pair of socks in her basket with a giggling sigh. They had just finished a fit of laughter after impersonating one of the jokes she heard on a late night talk show. “Okay, well, see you soon. Let me know how you like the bakery.”

He nodded. Biting the inside of his lip. “Hey Sunshine,” he called softly just as she hit the threshold of the room.

“Yeah?” She turned back. She didn’t like the way her stomach flipped over his nicknames but it seemed that her protests wouldn’t stop him. She just had to hope Harry called everyone nicknames. Maybe he called everyone Sunshine and kitten.

But she kind of hoped he didn’t either.

“Thanks for being my friend,” his voice was almost apologetic, like he knew it was hard for her. It was. But she liked to believe she was good at hiding it. But after spending so much time with Harry, it was hard to let him go. He was a really good friend.

“Yeah, of course, Harry,” she smiled softly.

“I miss when y’called me munchkin, kitten,” he frowned looking down at his lap.

She released a long sigh, wishing she could get those days back. “Yeah...” she sighed. “I miss it too.”

*

Harry and Ava fought less, that much was obvious. But granted, if they had one less fight in one day per week, that would have been less than what they had before. However, this was a little more substantial. Ava was snuggling up to Harry again at night and sharing the remote. They watched shows together and laughed. It felt like before...before they fought all the time.

But it was...weird. It wasn’t something Harry could put his finger on. It was just something he felt. Like something wasn’t quite right. In the back of his mind—the conscience that was so adamantly against the sweet girl in the laundry room was silent about the weird feeling Harry had in the pit of his stomach.

It was while Ava slept that he thought about it most. It wasn’t good but the privacy of his own thoughts had to be better than the physical alternative. He thought of that kiss and how perfect it felt. He imagined it a thousand times over. Harry never even thought about how it was nice—it was so intertwined with how wrong it was he didn’t get a chance to think of it as...perfect.

Why do you want to be in this relationship? His heart asked.

Tell. Ava. His conscience begged.

Harry didn’t see the point. They just got back to a good place. He was friends with the sweet girl. Things were going well.

Too well.

*

Again, they were fighting less. They still had arguments that devolved into a thousand other little arguments frequently enough that they should have called it quits anyway—or at least their neighbors should have said something. He guessed that the carpeting and soundproofing must have been much better than he gave it credit for.

But there were some things they would always fight over.

Harry never put the kitchen towel back on the oven handle, Ava was the first one to say something needed to be vacuumed but never did, and that Ava was still keeping Harry away from her friends, coworkers, and even her family.

Right now, Ava was headed out to a night with friends. But she let it slip that one of the other’s significant others would be there. “Y’want me to come along?” He asked. Her hesitation was all the answer that Harry needed. He chuckled dryly. “Great, y’don’t want me there. Fine.”

“It’s not that deep, Harry,” she rolled her eyes, she slid her purse over her shoulder and grabbed her keys off the counter.

Harry stood in front of the door. “Why don’t y’want me there?” He asked shaking his head in exasperation.

“Because I don’t want to fight in public, Harry. It’s embarrassing.”

“We don’t have to fight.”

“I don’t trust us not to. Look we’re fighting now.”

“Because you’re embarrassed by me!”

“I am not! I’m embarrassed by us!”

“Y’don’t want t’be seen with me Ava,” he said listing off the offenses by counting on his fingers. “Ever. Y’don’t take me t’your work parties, y’don’t want t’go out, y’don’t even take me t’your family anymore. Y’don’t want t’go anywhere with me,” he shook his head. “I don’t get it, what happened?”

“Nothing happened!” Her voice was practically hysterical. “I just want to do things by myself!”

“We never do anything together anymore!”

“Yes, we do!”

“No, we stay at home. You don’t want to go out you don’t want anyone t’see us!”

“I don’t trust us not to argue—”

But it devolved rapidly. It turned into the same tired fights about cleaning. The backhanded comments she made when Harry wore a shirt she didn’t like anymore. You’re wearing that? Or the way that they just never agreed on home décor or even where the toothpaste belonged (on the left or the right of the sink).

“I can’t find my phone,” she grumbled amidst the argument.

“For the love of God,” Harry sighed. “How do y’consistently lose these things?”

“I don’t mean to!” She frowned. He pulled his phone out to call it. “It’s on silent,” she murmured.

Rubbing his hands over his face, Harry sighed and tossed his phone on the sofa. “Did y’check your coat pockets?” He asked as he started searching under the furniture. “Or your purse?”

“Of course I checked there!”

“Well last time you didn’t check your coat and that’s where y’keys were—”

“Go ahead, call me stupid Harry. I know that’s what you’re trying to say,” she rolled her eyes, glaring at him. Again, Harry was searching through their whole place while she stood there antagonizing him.

“I don’t think you’re stupid, Ava. I think you’re forgetful and y’need t’put these things in a specific place so you don’t lose them.”

“No, you think I’m stupid.”

“Ava. Do not. Put words in my mouth,” his voice was low and slow as he continued his search. “S’not like y’don’t say backhanded things t’me all the time.”

“Like what?” She snapped.

“Like the whole laundry room makes m’clothes smell bad.”

“You can’t possibly be still on about this! For God’s sake Harry this is exactly why I don’t want to go places together! You hold these grudges and bring them up when it’s convenient for you to—”

If Harry was asked for his thought process, he never would be able to explain it. He was flinging the covers back to their bed. Still searching for her phone. She followed him in the room to continue yelling at him. Then he saw her pull her phone from her purse. The one she assured him was not in her bag. It was simply too much.

“I did something bad,” he blurted. Where did that come from? His conscience must have been excited. The yelling stopped. There was a hum in the air like after an old TV turned off and the picture sizzled off screen.

She grinned wickedly. Harry felt his blood ice over. It was like he already knew what she was going to say. “How pathetic. You fucked someone. Good for you Harry. Honestly.”

“What is the matter with you?” He spat back shaking his head. “I—”

“Well, now I don’t have to feel guilty.”

The ear-piercing silence was as if his ear drums exploded. It was painful to process those words.

Harry stared at her, unblinking. Surely, he misheard her. There was no way she was justifying what Harry said to make herself feel better. He heard her wrong. She wouldn’t do that, there had to be a limit. Their relationship, no matter how difficult it was...it had to be the limit, right?

“I didn’t fuck anybody, Ava.” Whether he wanted to sleep with the pretty girl or not, he didn’t. At the end of the day, he didn’t do it. Thinking about it was wrong. Part of him hoped that if it came down to it, he wouldn’t have. He would never know. There was no telling. But right now, that didn’t matter. He hadn’t done something worse. Divine intervention, clarity, the fucking washing machine timer saved him from having sex. “Did you... fuck somebody else?” The question felt like someone had shoved a handful of rocks into his mouth. It was hard to say out loud.

Ava was no longer beautiful. The scowl on her face made her look nasty. Her nose crooked, her lips curled in a snarl. She was a witch. Plain and simple. The silence was telling. Her lack of a response told him everything he needed to know.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” he pressed his hands to his eyes. Exasperated, hurt, heartbroken. Everything. Harry felt everything at that moment.

Holy shit. His conscience agreed with his heart.

“Why would you say you did something bad?!” She practically shrieked. “Who gives a shit about a kiss?!”

“Ava, are y’serious!?” He shouted back. His voice felt raw. The tears pricked behind his eyes. This was bad. So, so, so bad. “It ate me alive!”

“It was a kiss!”

“How. How is this my fault, Ava?!” He shouted. She was silent. Harry rarely reached his full yelling potential. Ever. He knew he was loud—maybe even scary in the right light. So he didn’t like to yell that loud if he could help it. It was rude and he didn’t like the person he was when he yelled like that. But right now...he couldn’t help it. “Y’mad at me because I didn’t sleep with someone else? That I only kissed someone? So that y’can justify fucking someone else behind m’back?” More silence. She simply glared at him. But he watched, her eyes welled with tears. Like she had any reason to take the moral high ground. Not that Harry had much higher ground to stand on, but he hadn’t slept with someone else, at the end of it all. “We’re done,” he shook his head.

Her body deflated. “Harry,” she whimpered. Voice breaking on his name like she had been so faithful and loving for their entire life all and all of sudden it was done; broken in seconds. She reached for Harry and he stepped back shaking his head.

“No, Ava. Done. S’been way longer than it should ‘ve been. We don’t like each other anymore. S’obvious t’anyone but us. This is jus’ proof. We’re done.”

She shook her head quickly, her body looked like it was going to crumple under the weight of ending a long relationship. “But...I love you.”

“No... no, you don’t,” he shook his head, his heart pounding. His throat felt like there were knives dragging along the length of his esophagus. “You don’t fuck someone else when you’re in love.”

Is that why you haven’t slept with Ava in months? His heart wondered in the silence of the room save for the sounds of Ava’s pathetic sniffles.

I’m sorry. The little voice in his head was soft-spoken. Shy and apologetic.

“We’re done, Ava. It’s over.”

*

It took more screaming of course. Harry had rubbed his eyes raw and red. It was nearly one in the morning when Ava finally left the apartment. She would get the rest of her stuff another day. She didn’t apologize once.

Harry, alone with his horrible thoughts and his sadness, was feeling terrible and broken. Maybe he deserved this just for hurting that sweet sunshiny girl. If that was the case, he thought maybe Ava should have been pregnant with someone else to get the right amount of heartache he deserved for hurting that sweet girl.

He didn’t want to ask how long she slept with someone else. He would get himself tested just in case the following morning. But he hoped Ava had enough sense to use protection. He was shaking with anger and heartache.

There was only one thing he knew that would cure him. One person that could fix it.

*

The knock jolted her awake on her sofa. She glanced at the clock. Who would come here at one in the morning? She checked her phone for messages and there were none—maybe Niall came back to visit? No, he would have said something. He was a terrible secret keeper. Pausing the movie she was watching, she wrapped her blanket around her as she hurried to the door. Peering through the peephole, she frowned, then opened the door.

Harry looked utterly upset. Worse than she had ever seen him. His skin was pale. Even his pretty brown curls lacked life. He looked so...broken.

“Harry,” she whispered softly. She put a hand to her chest. It seemed...sinful for him to look this sad. It wasn’t fair. Even if she wasn’t supposed to love him, she wanted to comfort him. Despite his mishap, he really was quite lovely. “What’s wron—”

“I know... I know I messed up... kissing y’when I shouldn’t ‘ve. I know that... I... I don’t know if I would’ve stopped us...but...she...” he sighed heavily. His voice was scratchy sounding. Like he had a bad cough. She wondered how long they yelled for, the poor thing. She could feel her face fall. She already knew what Harry was going to say. She could see it in his rubbed-red eyes and sullen expression. “She slept with someone else... and I know m’not much better... but... we didn’t... we didn’t do that.”

Her heart broke for him. He was right. She doesn’t know if they would have stopped had Harry not stopped to ask about her picture frame. But they didn’t go further, at the end of it all. They didn’t. Maybe what they did wasn’t right, but it could have been a hell of a lot worse.

How could she break his heart?

Harry thought she looked so cozy, wrapped in a soft blanket and her hair a little messy from how she was sleeping. Her eyes seemed wider somehow, fresh from her slumber. She was adorable and as sad as Harry was, just seeing her nearly made him smile.

“Oh, munchkin,” she whispered.

There was a little flutter in Harry’s tired, broken heart at the sound of the name “munchkin.”

Finally. His heart and conscience were once more in agreement.

--

general taglist: @justlemmeadoreyou @daydreamingofmatilda @sunshinemoonsposts @youdontcaredoyou @tiredinwinter @loving-hazz @likeapplejuicenpeach @straightontilmornin @freedomfireflies @littlenatilda @kathb59 @babegoals @angel-upon @lilfreakjez @mleestiles @ameliaalvarez06 @canyonmoondreams @summertime-pills @daphnesutton @l4rrysh0use @perfectywrong @foreverxholland @lolyouallsuck @buckybarnessimpp @stylesfever @harrysxcarolina @haarrrys @lovrave @st-ev-ie @pandeebearstyles

Love and Dryer Sheets: @love-letters-to-uranus

I'm sorry if I missed anyone in the taglist. Please let me know if you'd like to join, if it didn't work, if you no longer want to be included, etc. :)

If you like this, check out my masterlist for more of my writing.

#harry #harry styles writing #harry styles fluff #harry styles blurb #harry styles blurbs #harry styles smut #harry styles angst #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #one direction #one direction writing #love and dryer sheets

[comradekatara]

This is not really a ship ask per se just the sokka/suki/mai/ty-lee polycule how do you think it would work? I think their dates are mix of sharp objects, sparring and sparkling conversation. The relationship equivalent of a heist movie (and I guess zukos at kiddie table or something. Guy in the polycule who is just there)

LMFAOOO zuko is like eric andre banging at the gates yelling LET ME INNNN but alas he lacks the spirit and charm to join. he doesn’t even really want to be a part of it either (beautiful women do not actually interest him), he just feels excluded and resentful because it’s unfair that sokka (his favorite special guy) is closer to mai and ty lee (his only peers he ever spoke to until he was 17 years of age) than he is, and also he just generally refuses to understand why suki gets nice things (ie, sokka) and he doesn’t. unfortunately he has just enough self-knowledge to acknowledge that it’s a flaw he possesses rather than projecting that resentment outwards, so he is kind of just sitting there pathetically. alas. many such cases.

as for the group dynamic itself, i think that sokka and suki are a concrete couple, and mai and ty lee are also a discrete coupling, but then suki and ty lee are also together, and occasionally suki and mai also hook up, and sometimes suki mai and ty lee are just a throuple, but then sometimes sokka is also involved, but he’s also usually off doing his own thing so he’s not as present, but don’t get it twisted, he IS there and he’s in this relationship. he’s in this relationship.

it starts because obviously sokka and suki are already a couple and madly in love, and then they befriend mai and ty lee once the war ends. ty lee of course being a kyoshi warrior, so suki ends up spending a lot of time with her showing her the ropes, and also learning chi-blocking from her. suki is obviously just smitten with ty lee almost immediately because she is so talented and beautiful and charming, but also resents ty lee for this fact because she is too proud to admit that ty lee is a better fighter and smarter than she is, but eventually is able to admit her feelings for ty lee much in the same way that she did with sokka.

so suki gets together with ty lee while they’re on kyoshi island together, and concurrently sokka and mai are getting closer in the fire nation babysitting zuko and they very quickly realize that they actually get along really well because they surprisingly have a lot in common and share a sense of humor and love being miserable little haters together. and even though they both hate being in the fire nation, their newfound friendship becomes a consistent source of joy for each of them, and toph included, they are basically inseparable. everyone kind of assumes they’re dating because they truly do spend every second of the day together, but they’re not. or well, it’s more complicated/weirder than that.

when sokka and mai go to visit suki and ty lee on kyoshi island, or suki and ty lee come back to the fire nation (whichever comes first), sokka is already aware that suki and ty lee have gotten together because suki told him about her feelings before she left and then wrote to him about all their developments as they were occurring. and sokka is supportive, but he also finds it kind of strange because he distinctly remembers ty lee as being someone who was constantly flirting with him, and he wonders how them sharing a girlfriend will change that dynamic. but it doesn’t really. ty lee continues to flirt with him. at first it actually makes him so uncomfortable that he thinks he’s gonna throw up, because he’s being besieged on all sides (ie, suki has joined in the incessant flirting, mai is kind of just sitting there wearing this inscrutable yet distinctly infuriating expression) but eventually he just adjusts to this group dynamic.

sokka and suki are actually the ones to get mai and ty lee to finally get their shit together though. suki persuades ty lee that mai has feelings for her while sokka persuades mai that ty lee has feelings for her. and they feel like very helpful samaritans of the world they are so proud of themselves when mai and ty lee finally do get together. they’ve been dancing around their feelings ever since the boiling rock and kept insisting that it “just isn’t the right time” because mai was figuring out her shit with zuko and ty lee was moving to kyoshi island and blah blah blah. but suki’s just like “ARGH I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!” and smushes their faces together basically.

as for mai and suki, they first bond over being evenly matched in pai sho. ty lee and sokka are both geniuses who win every game effortlessly, and suki and mai (who both pride themselves on being highly intelligent) get fed up with getting their asses kicked so they start their own pai sho tournament, no ty lees and sokkas allowed. (fyi: we do actually see them playing pai sho together in ba sing se in the finale, which I think is very cute.) pai sho can be a very erotic game depending on how you play it (iroh can attest to this) so mai and suki, as well as ty lee and sokka, greatly enjoy these battles of wit, and get closer as a result. (yet another reason why zuko isn’t invited into the polycule; he sucks at pai sho.)

all that said, I do think toph is also heavily involved in this group dynamic, albeit not romantically, but she’s obviously sokka’s best friend and also very important to mai, so she kind of just hangs around because sokka, mai, and toph are also just their own little trio. but when it is just the four of them, it is truly the four scariest nonbenders in the world participating in this vaguely polyamorous dyke squad telling the most fucked up jokes you have ever heard in your life and laughing their asses off, and they are all gorgeous gorgeous girls who seem highly threatening to anyone on the outside looking in, but are actually very silly and goofy and and dedicate way too much of their time to playing board games. beautiful dynamic I think

(also, just as a sidenote for anyone wondering about whether they’re lesbians or what, that reddit post about being “gay both ways” is sokka’s gender. to me)

[ID: Reddit post by rrien in the thread r/bisexual with the title “Anyone “gay both ways”?”

The body reads: “I used to know this he/they bi guy, who presented himself as a pretty androgynous trans dude.

When he dated guys, he was a man getting with a gay man. When he dated women, it was like a lesbian relationship. He was comfortable and perceived as a dude in gay male spaces, and was equally comfortable and perceived as a butch in lesbian spaces. I think about this a lot. Dude was playing 5D chess with gender.

Has anyone else encountered this? As someone who’s uncomfortable in hetero relationship dynamics and who strives for androgyny….I just think it’s neat.” /end ID]

#thelastmonitor #asks #postwargaang #sokkaxsuki #maixtylee #sukixtylee #mai&sokka #mai&suki #suki #sokka #mai #ty lee #zuko #toph #mai&toph #(also) #lmfao I wrote way more here than I thought I would #as if I don’t ALWAYS do this #what can I say #I love a dyke polycule

[itsohh]

To Let Go

A/N: Female reader, I take the canon and I fix it (make it worse). This had been stuck in my mind since I finished the campaign. Well after it soaked in. This does focus on your relationship with Soap / Ghost but also your friendship with Gaz. (He's just a great friend ngl)

Summary: A series of small snippets in the throuple life between you, Ghost and Soap. From when you first met through your mutual contact and friend Gaz until the end events of MW3.

Word count: 5005

Warnings: angst, major canon character death, sucidal thoughts, MW3 spoilers.

AO3 Masterlist

The Meeting

2020

The group of them stared at the table before them, Laswell on call. "This is far from home. We're going to need to get help." Price paused and looked towards Kate on the screen. "Got any friends that know Australia."

"A few." Her eyes cast towards Gaz. "You’re in luck, one just happens to live on your back door. Garrick knows them rather well."

Kyle's lips parted and he shook his head before he smiled and folded his arms.

"I'll track her down." Kate nodded. 

"No need, I reckon I know where she probably is tomorrow night."

"And she'll help us?" Soap asked.

"She will if I ask."

-

The pub was a complete roar. It was uncomfortably packed. All the screens had been changed and the thick smell of alcohol filled the air. Everyone's focus was on their drinks and the screens above. 

"This is where we find your contact?" Ghost hated the close proximity of everyone in the building. 

"Yeah she should be right around the corner in a booth-" His voice was cut off as everyone in the pub let out a roar. Drinks clinked and splashed everywhere while people hugged each other. A different scene was set when he slipped into the corner booth. It had been almost completely empty, strange for such a packed pub.  

"Gaz. Long time no see." You didn't look away from the television that was in perfect view. 

"What game is it?" He asked as the rest of the task force slipped in next to him. 

"Bledisloe Cup, in Brisbane."

"Who's winning?"

"Who's your friends?" You countered.

"This is Captain Price, that's Soap and this is Ghost." 

For the first time, you took your eyes off the television and sized up the men. "Captain? Suppose this isn't a pleasure meeting then."

"'Friad not." Price spoke up. 

"Hmm. Sorry, I can't help you. I'm suspended." You immediately shut them down. Gaz's lips parted and his body tensed up. 

"You're suspended?" 

"Uh-huh. We might be allies and all but can't help you if I'm not supposed to be working. Gonna have to find another girl for your situation."

"Why you suspended?" Soap asked. 

You leaned on the table and your head turned towards him. "Officially or unofficially?"

"Give us both." Ghost answered. 

"Well officially…" You swirled the liquid in your glass. "It's a paid suspension until I am reassigned."

"And unofficially?" 

"I taught my Captain the importance of making the right call."

"You punched another one of your COs" Gaz sounded annoyed. 

"This happen a lot?" Ghost asked. 

"Only since they stuck me here."

"For someone whose job it is to play nice with others, you don't do a very good job of it," Gaz said. A smile curled up on your lips as you took a sip from your drink. “Do I even want to know?”

“No.”

“Would you tell me if I asked?”

“...Maybe another time.” Your eyes went up to the television and you pressed your lips together as your glass made contact with the table. “Hypothetically, what did yah need me for?”

The men exchanged looks and Gaz gave Price a small nod. Price produced a folder from inside his jacket and slid it on the table towards you. Your eyes found it and you flicked it open like a book. “This is… oh fuck this is Australian territory- this is…” Your eyes darted between the men. “Why the fuck do you want in here- actually don’t tell me. You guys won’t be able to legally get in here. The Australian government will never allow it. No Australian will help you.” 

“Which is why our mutual friend recommended you.” Ghost spoke up.

“Gaz?” Your eyes landed on him and narrowed.

“Laswell.” Price corrected.

“Laswell’s in on this? Hmm, look yeah I know the area pretty well, not like any native but well enough. If you can get Laswell to pull some strings about my suspension I’ll help you out. Even if this is off the record I’m grounded and would be in a lot of trouble if I leave the country at the moment.” You drained the rest of your drink and spun the glass around on the table. Their eyes were drawn to the sight a second before you stood up. “Gaz has my number. Do call it sometime.”

“What about your game?” He gestured to the television above you.

“We already won the series. The outcome of this doesn’t matter. Besides, the mention of work has stained my night.” 

-

Kiss Me

2021

You laughed as Soap sang out on the stage. His voice was horribly off-key but that didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was the pure joy on his face. You had been transfixed on him, just as Ghost was next to you. How could you not? Forget a ray of sunshine, he was the entire sun. Warm and full of light, he was breathtaking in a way that had your cheeks heat up. 

It was so easy to pretend, the way he serenaded you. Truly a performance. Soap reached out for you to come join him and you furiously shook your head. 

"No way MacTavish." 

"Come on. You have been on the couch the entire night and it's not very often we get a karaoke machine."

"Thank god for that." Ghost mumbled next to you. 

"I'm with Ghost on this one. If I had known that you would be trying to get me to do this, I would have shot you lot down at the pub."

"Awww come on, besides you had fun at the prison."

"It was in fucking Tasmania. I hate Tasmania. Get your boyfriend here to come and sing with you instead." 

The pair of them froze the second and exchanged a look. 

"Oh? Husbands then?" 

"How did you know we were toge-"

"Soap we are almost always working. My room’s next to Ghosts. I hear you guys all the time." 

"Fuckin hell." Ghost grumbled under his breath but Soap seemed almost excited by the information. There was a glint in his eyes as his lips curled up. It seemed like they had been trying to keep it a secret. Yet, the way he looked at you, the way both of them looked at you, there was something else to the matter. 

"Heard all that but never bothered to come join us?" 

You let out a cough of shock which turned into a fit. His gaze burned into your skin red hot and you turned to see a similar one from Ghost. 

"You’re joking." You managed to cough out. 

"Negative." Ghost's voice had your hair stand up on your skin with anticipation.

"You’re serious." You swallowed as you managed to compose yourself. You looked down for a moment. 

"Less you don't want to. An't gonna force you."

"I don't do casual."

"Fine by me. What about you Ghost?"

"No complaints here."

"I- I've known you for like four months. Why? Have you been looking for a third is this-?"

"Nah, nothing like that. We like you." Soap sat on the sofa next to you and you could practically feel the way the boys were toying with you. 

"Nothing more to it than that. Don't overthink this." Ghost's voice now came from behind you as you faced Soap. 

"Do the pair of you normally fraternise with teammates?" You mean the words to come out humourous but your voice died a little and it came out as a breath. 

"Only the pretty ones." Soap was quick to reply and you could practically feel Ghost roll his eyes behind you. 

"Ask Johnny." 

"Canni kiss you?" 

"Yeah." 

Soap leaned in, his lips slowly on yours and you were aware of Ghost the entire time. His eyes watching you but somehow that didn't turn you off in any way. You pushed into Soap and snaked a hand into his hair. It gave you a good place to grip as you deepened the kiss. He moaned into your lips, clearly delighted in the turn of events as your tongue sealed entrance into his mouth. 

It was a request that wasn't granted right away as his tongue met yours and messily tangled with your own. Soap's hand landed on your thigh and gave it a decent squeeze but was promptly interrupted by the sound of the front door opening. Price and Gaz were back.

You separated from him, lips slightly swollen and Soap gave you a knowing smile. "We can continue this later yeah?"

"Yeah."

-

I Love you 

2021

It had been a close call. Too close for anyone's liking. One of those 'life flashing before your life moments'. But it wasn't a bunch of memories of everything that ever happened to you. No, the only thing you could focus on was the voices of your friends, your lovers. 

Price, Gaz, Soap and Ghost. While you couldn't understand what they were saying you could still hear them. You had been so horribly pinned down. If Ghost hadn't been there for overwatch you knew you would have been a goner. 

It seemed like everyone had brushed it off. After all, close calls were part of the job, but it still played over and over like a broken record. 

The warm bed with both of your lovers had been a sanctuary that you left. The night your mistress as you stared up to the sky. Death had stared you in the eyes and was killed. 

"Can't sleep?" Ghost came up and joined you. He leaned on the barrier but you didn't turn to face him. It didn't surprise you, he was a light sleeper. 

"Cut it a bit close today." You breathed. 

"Saw that."

"Thanks for having my back."

"Someone has to keep you alive." A silence settled between the pair of you for a couple of minutes. It was a comfortable silence that danced well with the refreshing coldness of the night's air. 

"One day this job will take me."

"Takes all of us. Good soldiers don't last long." 

"Your still kicking."

"'M not a good soldier."

"Right bastard you are LT." Soap's voice joined the pair of you and he settled his way to your left. 

"Sorry if I woke you Soap." 

"Beds too cold with our the pair of you." He mumbled.

"Surprised you can tell with your furnace of a body." Ghost said. 

"Oi-"

"I love you. Both of you." Your voice interrupted them and they went silent. "So much it hurts." You look down over the railing. "I could have died today without telling you. That doesn't sit right with me."

Soap whispered out your name and then you suddenly felt his arms around you. He pulled you into his chest and Ghost pressed his chest against your back. Sandwiched in between them you were engulfed in their bodies and warmth. 

"We love you too, lass. Always."

-

Reunited

2022

Your legs burned. Most of your energy has already been spent on the mission. Now every Shadow in Las Almas was out to get you and you really just wanted a warm bed. Separated from the rest of your squad and alone in the dark, you could only hope that Soap and Ghost made it out. 

Any hope to reunite with them had been thrown out the window when your radio broke. It didn't matter if you survived, only if they did. A trail of bodies marked where at least one of them had been. In all honesty, you couldn't tell the difference between Soaps or Ghosts kills. All were expertly done. 

At the moment you could feel it. The difference between you and them. They were the best of the best. You? You certainly weren't bad but your spot in the team was one due to convenience and the information that they needed at the time. They would survive and you would not. Somehow the fact didn't make you was. 

So long as they continued on. That's what mattered. That was the realisation you made as you slid down against a wall. A line of blood painted the wall behind you until you met the ground. The bullet wound that had gone clean through you had been attended to by the best of your ability but it was almost impossible to deal with the hole in your back. 

You wondered if a Shadow would find you first or if you would just bleed out. A fate so many civilians of Las Alma's were given. A blinding light in the darkness had you squeeze your eyes shut. It was like the sun on steroids. It didn't matter much because the second you closed your eyes they became far too heavy to reopen. 

"Fuck it's her. She bleeding bad."

"Get her in back, we need to go now." 

Those voices, angels of their own kind. A weak smile curled on your face and you managed to grasp out while you were moved about. "Johnny." You weakly whispered and put your bloody hand on his face. 

"I got you, we got you."

-

Care

2021

The lights were far too bright but nothing like you had experienced before. A groan left your lips and you attempted to move only to be stopped. A hand kept you still but you pushed away. 

"Stop that else I'll let you bleed out."

"Simon?"

"Scared the shit outta us you know that?"

"’M sorry."

"Should be." You cracked your eyes open to meet his. 

"Where are we?"

"A safe house Alejandro told me about. I patched up your wounds. You've been out for a while. Lucky too."

"That I didn't bleed out?"

"That nothing happened to you while we were gone."

"You left?"

"Had to, the three of us got Alejandro out of prison. The old man showed up with Gaz as well."

"Thank fuck they're okay." 

Ghost continued to repatch your wound and your eyes cast across the room. 

"What's going on?"

"Plans to take back the base." His eyes met yours as your mouth opened. "No your not coming." 

You bit your tongue for a second and nodded. Silence ran between the pair of you, only the sound of the Vaqueros around you chattering away prevented true silence. 

"Thought you were dead." 

"Felt like it."

"You didn't radio in."

"It got busted." 

"You took a bullet for Johnny."

"Rather I take it than him."

"He wanted to stay, to look for you."

"And you were the voice of reason I presume. 

"Don't do that again."

"Ghost…" 

His back straightened up and his eyes narrowed. "Wanted to search the entire city for you."

"That's Johnny for you-"

"-We both did."

"I…You made the right move in the end. Leaving."

"Couldn't lose Johnny as well. Wasn't easy convincing him to leave the city. Pure luck we found you."

"I don't know why you're mad at me. What did you want me to do?"

"You were ready to die there. You gave gave up. Don't ever stop fighting because we won't stop fighting to get you back. Ever. We're a team. Don't you forget that."

-

Roadtrip

2022

It had been hours that the group of you had been in the car. Save for the few put-stops made along the way. Ghost sat in the driver's seat to the right while Soap was on the left. The sun above was oh-so bright while the roads were relatively clear. 

With your seatbelt stretched far, you leaned on Ghost's seat in front of you. There was only sometimes chatter among the pair of you. A comfortable silence settled in and was only disrupted when one of you saw something of interest outside the window. 

The current silence was when your ears perked up. "Oh my god, I love this song. Turn it." You patted Soap's shoulder. Ghost was the one to turn it up but didn't say a word. 

"Fan of Elton John huh?" Soap smiled over his shoulder.

His question was answered by your singing that picked up in the car. A wide grin spread across his face as he continued the duet with you. 

Honey if I get restless

Baby, you’re not the type 

That grin on his face was reflected on yours as you bobbed your head side to side with the music. Soap turned it up a little bit more. 

When I was down

I was your clown 

"An't that the truth." Ghost muttered and you slapped him on the shoulder but you couldn't help but laugh into the song. 

Don't go breaking my heart

I won't go breaking your heart

-

Dance

2023

Soap and Ghost finally made it into the pub where Price and Laswell waited for them. There was a calm relaxed vibe in the room as the two men settled down with drinks in hand. 

"Laswell. Captain." Ghost greeted and Ghost followed. 

"Boys."

"Where's the other two?" Soap asked and Price lifted his glass to point towards the jukebox. There in front of it, you danced with Gaz. Poorly at that. Music blared seemingly louder when the pair of them looked. 

Your head tilted back as you laughed only to duck down under Gaz's arm as the pair of you danced. Ever so faintly they could hear the pair of you sing along. 

Ghost pulled out his seat and sat down, not taking his eyes off you for a moment. Soap did the same and while a piece of him wished that was him there with you- it brought him joy to see you having so much fun with Gaz. 

Ghost's hand settled on Soap's knee under the table. The need for touch, any touch. "Been at it for a while those two have." Price lifted his drink to his lips. 

"Make quite the dance couple." It was rare for them to see Laswell with her hair down, even if it was metaphorically.  

"Mentioned something about not dancing since she moved out."

"They lived together?" Ghost asked. 

"Briefly when she first moved to England from what I heard. Seems the dancing queens have finished up, you can ask yourself."

-

Love

2023

The smell of sex filled the air as you cuddled up to Simon's side. Completely bare, not even his mask protected his face. He looked directly at the ceiling as your head rested on his chest. Johnny mirrored you on the other side. 

"I love you both." You hummed seemingly out of nowhere. Soap cocked a brow and Simon looked down at you. 

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

-

His End. 

2023

There was something about going as fast as you possibly could and still being late. There was something about trying your damn hardest and still losing. There was something about giving your all and it all being taken. 

There was something about arriving only to find your heart on the ground. Already dead. Just the last to know. 

The sound of the trains ran in your ear. Gaz and Price's voices were so distant even though they were only a few metres away. The talk of a red wire met your ears but didn't enter. You were the first to crumble. 

Your knees hit the ground in shock as your hand shakily reached for his face. Still warm. Still so so warm. You had just missed him. Two minutes early- two minutes and he would have been there. There, safe in your arms, not cooling on the ground. 

"Simon." It was your other lover's name you called. In that moment the small whisper could only be heard by him as crouched next to you. It was all you could say. A beg for him to do something as if he could resurrect the man before you. 

Broken and unsure, he was always the one with answers. The one that knew how to make things right. Not this time though. Tears didn't swell in your eyes. They couldn't. All you felt was cold. Shock cursing through you. No longer were you a hardened soldier but a young woman. A woman who had just lost her love. 

When you finally looked up you found you weren't alone. Anger coursed through Price, a silent anger that oh had never seen before. A violent one that was only controlled by the tightness of his first. 

Gaz had a sadness to his. He leaned down to close Johnny's eyes and you couldn't help the choke gasp that left your lips as he did so. When you finally dared to look at Simon's eyes, his met yours and you saw the glassy layer of tears that threatened but wouldn't fall. 

He was gone. 

-

Home

2023

It wasn't often you left without Ghost. Yet when the group of you silently got back to base, you didn't bother to go to the debriefing. You couldn't. Your body was on complete autopilot as the sight of Soap dead on the floor played your kind

That autopilot got you home. Not to the apartment that you shared with Soap and Ghost but your own apartment.  The one you hadn't been to in what felt like years. Only the odd check-up for the sake of your insurance. 

The door was pushed open and your feet took you inside. Your fingers found the record player and you turned it on. Just like you used to do many years ago when you first settled in there. 

She packed my bags last night, pre-flight

Then you broke. Snapped. You were brought back and you let out a howl. A deathly scream and the damn burst. Johnny was gone and he was never coming back. Every moment had been the last. Only alive in memory, that promising future or his had been sniffled out. 

It's lonely out in space

You swore out and grabbed the first thing you saw- a lamp- and smashed it down on the ground. "Johnny!" You screamed. A horse scream, one from the very pit of your core. The side table was pushed over as you saw red. Tears streamed down your face as you smashed the glass coffee table in front of your sofa. You didn't care that the glass cut into your first when it collided. It didn't matter in the grand scheme of things. 

The television was the next to go. The DVD player was the perfect object to be filled out and sent into the middle of it. 

Rocket man, burning out his fuse up here alone

Your CD collection, partially empty now thrown to the ground. What caught your eye though, was the pistol that had been strapped to the bottom of your side table. It had fallen from the holster and in a moment of grief, you picked it up. 

The buzz of Gaz's phone had him pick up. It wasn't often that Ghost called him. 

"Do you know where she is?"

"Went home didn't she?" Gaz's voice was quiet, tired. 

"Not here. She's not picking up her phone either." Ghost didn't need to say that he was worried, Gaz already knew. 

"Well, she could have meant her home. She has an apartment not too far from the base. I can text you the address. I have a key."

"I'll meet you there.”

The apartment building was rather dark when he arrived. In all honesty, the place you picked wasn’t the greatest. A shithole of an apartment complex really. But it was discrete and the neighbours never complained. Or at least they had never complained when he would share late nights with you with the music up loud. 

Gaz knocked on the door a couple of times but didn’t receive an answer. Doubt crept up on him, perhaps you didn’t go back there. Regardless, he had to check. The key slid into the slot with ease and he pushed the door open. He silently swore as he saw the scene before him. Your entire apartment had been completely trashed, everything destroyed without mercy.

A light buzz from your record player hummed in the air but besides that, there was little sound. Or so he originally thought. As he took a step inside he heard the faintest of sobs coming from the kitchen. Gaz was on high alert and his hand went to the pistol at his hip. But when he reached the kitchen his shoulders dropped and his brows softened. 

“Hey, hey, hey.” He rushed to your side. You sat on the floor with your back leaning against a kitchen cabinet. Blood ran down one of your hands. “What happened? W-”

“He's gone.” For a moment he thought you meant an intruder, someone trying to hurt you but realisation was quick to cross his face. Alarm bells went off in his head as his eye went to the gun that shook slightly in your trembling hand. 

“I can’t… I can’t do it anymore Kyle. He's gone and I can’t… I can’t bear to be away from him.” 

His head tilted in empathy as tears rolled down your face. 

“I just want to be with him again. I wish we never went down there.”

“We had to, thousands would have died.”

A bitter laugh left your lips and you choked on your tears. “I know it's selfish of me to say but I would have preferred that. Anything to have him back.”

“You know that and I know you don’t mean that.”

“Fuck, I do. I really do Gaz. I love him so much.”

“He loved you too but he wouldn’t have wanted that.”

“Well, it doesn’t fucking matter anymore because he's gone.” You shouted out and waved the gun. “I’m so tired. So so tired. He didn’t deserve that. He's too good of a man. I would have given anything to trade places.”

“Your right, he was a good man.” Kyle moved so he was sitting next to you against the kitchen counter. “The best. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone so head over heels for someone. For you and Ghost. I know for certain if something happened to either of you, any of us really, he woulda tore the world apart.” Gaz put his hand on your knee. 

“I wish I could  held him,  have told him I loved him one more time.”

“He knew and I think it does matter what he wanted because you care about him. He would want you here with Ghost. If you…” Gaz paused, he couldn’t bring himself to say those words killed yourself. “Hung it in early, he’d be alone. He just lost Johnny, just like you did. I don’t think there would be anything left to him if something happened to you.” 

“I…”

“Simon loves you. He’d be completely shattered. Just like the rest of us would.”

Your tears came down harder but he watched as your grip loosened on the gun and made the slightest twitch towards him. Slowly and gently, he took it from you and placed it on the countertop behind you. Gaz turned towards you and offered you a hug, one you took without hesitation and cried into his shoulder. Messy and wet but he didn’t care. His hand went to soothe your back as he held you tight. 

As he looked over your shoulder his eyes made contact with Ghost’s. His eyes were glassy but hardened as he stood there frozen. “You’re not alone in this. I promise, we all hurting just as much. But we’re a team yeah? We got each other's back.” 

You pulled back from Gaz and nodded. His hand came up your your cheek and wiped away the tears. “Ghost and I are gonna patch you up okay.”

“Ghost?” Your voice was small and vulnerable.

“Right here.” His voice came from behind you and you turned your head around. Guilt consumed your face and your eyes dropped. Ghost crouched down next to you and slowly took your bloodied hand. 

“Promise me that you will stay.” Tears rolled down his face and were swallowed by the lower part of his mask. Neither of you had ever seen the man cry before. “Please.”

“I’m sorry.” You nodded your head and he pulled you into his arms. 

“I can’t lose you.” He kissed the top of your head, his hands were shaking.

-

Call

2023 

“-Yeah, I’m with them now. At her apartment with Ghost. It’s been a long night.”

“That Price?” Ghost’s voice was quiet as he looked over the sofa to see Gaz in the kitchen on the phone. Gaz nodded towards him before he walked over.

“Here's Ghost now.”

“You holding up?” Price’s gruff voice came through the phone and Ghost looked down to his lap where you lay there asleep. You were curled up to him, your hand now bandaged up. 

“I’ll manage.”

“How is she?”

“Better not, almost lost her.”

“Yeah, Gaz mentioned. How bad is she?”

“She's strong, she’ll heal. It will always hurt but she can handle it.”

“Good. When you can tell her to take some time, the both of you.”

“Makarov’s still out there.”

“He is but we have allies and I won’t let something happen to hurt on my watch. She’ll need you.” Ghost gently stroked your head. “What about Johnny?”

“I’ve got the flights sorted, it’s what I originally called Gaz for. We leave in the afternoon.”

“Understood.”

“And Ghost? Take care.” Ghost's eyes looked over your calm face, still there. Still his. Still alive.  

“Will do.”

-

Let go

The cool breeze soothed your body as you watched as Ghost opened the urn and let the wind catch.

Johnny's ashes spread out in a swirl, destined for the water below. Despite all the pain and all the grief you could help but smile. Just ever so slightly. Gaz had been right. It did matter what Johnny wanted. He would have liked this, to be returned home. He would have liked all four of you there with him. 

Kyle gently squeezed your hand and you wiped away the silent tears on your face. It would be easy dealing with the pain and grief but in that moment, you knew things would get better. 

#mw3 spoilers #ghost x reader #soap x reader #ghost x reader x soap #gaz & reader #simon riley #johnny mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #cod x reader #mw2 x reader #mw3 x reader

[thebestofoneshots]

okok so i just wanted to compliment ur writing in a way i haven’t seen others compliment it and it’s smth that i never see in any literature ever w fem MCs especially fan fiction. i love the way u give the MC a personality and life of her own. i like that’s he can stand up for herself and has hopes and passions that don’t just correlate with the men in the series. this is insane for fan fiction ESPECIALLY cuz it’s x reader. i don’t think u understand how much i appreciate it and it’s one of the reasons i most look forward to ur chapters. she’s not just some dumb silly, small, boy-crazy, and perfect mc and i love that!! teen girls are so complex and u right that so well. anyway love ya 🤍🤍

Aww darling this is so sweet!

And let me tell you, (this is most def gonna be a small rant) I feel like reader-insert fics have a really bad reputation, and I know there are factions of the internet that absolutely despise them but I have to say some of the best fanfiction I've ever read, have been reader inserts.

So, while I do know there are some bad ones (I've seen them and read them), I also think the genre has the potential for greatness. I mean, just think about it, it's kind of like playing a videogame in which you get to choose the character you're playing as, customizing and all that. But nobody goes around criticizing video games where you get to basically self-insert into the narrative, do they? (I mean I suppose they do but that's because people like criticizing stuff)

If Dante did it, why can't we?

Either way, what I mean to say is that I'm trying to be one of those incredibly good writers I've encountered who basically redeem the genre by being single-handedly incredible. Writers like @wkemeup @kquil @embrassemoi @maiden-of-asgard @lokisgoodgirl @lokischambermaid @pseudonymmcwriter @matchavellichor @buckyskorpion @myfictionaldreams and many many more writers out there that time after time deliver incredibly amazing content, that never ceases to amaze me!

I'm starting a Defense Club for Reader fics, who wants to join in?

Also... I'm so glad you guys don't think MC is "miss perfect", because she might be talented but she's also dumb and stubborn as fuck and weaving that into the narrative has been so much fun! I didn't want a Jane Doe, I wanted a strong female character with actual fucking flaws and character growth because I want and need to see her struggle and improve. The whole "she's magically talented thing" does not vibe with me. Even if she is a little bit gifted, but then again, she has to be if she wants to keep up with the marauders.

i love the way u give the MC a personality and life of her own. i like that’s he can stand up for herself and has hopes and passions that don’t just correlate with the men in the series.

Ugh this! So happy this is the impression it's giving because since the start, I tried to have the series pass the Bechdel Test because I want to accurately represent women in the story. And while yes, they are teens and of course, they're thinking about dating, they also have their own issues. And while this is the story of how Vixen, Sirius and Remus end up in a throuple, it is also the story of how Vixen ends up in Hogwarts and deals with her new life there, and that aspect of the story is just as interesting to me as the relationship drama.

Either way, I want to thank you for your nice comments, I've had one hell of a week and this most definitely made me feel a lot better. lysm.

Read Gilded Constellations

#ask lilly #lilly talks #imagine #marauders era #marauders x reader #marauders x y/n #moony #padfoot #prongs #sirius black #sirius x reader #sirius black fluff #sirius x you #sirius x y/n #remus x y/n #remus x you #remus x reader #remus one shot #sirius black one shot #poly!marauders x reader #poly!marauders #wolfstar x reader #wolfstar x y/n #wolfstar x you #sirius black x fem!reader #remus lupin x fem!reader #moony x reader #moony x padfoot #moony wormtail padfoot and prongs #moony x you

[mariejordans]

I agree Jordan Marie and cate are the best most interesting characters if they're going to kill someone it should be Andre like you said he's useless and also unlikable as a person lmfao he ain't doing anything right. I love cate and I love villains so whatever way they go with her as long as it's believable I'm all for it. My thing with them killing more characters is because we're in the endgame now as in the boys probably has 2 more seasons to go and they're also going to start killing a lot of people like by the end I expect most of the main supes and at least half of the boys to be dead so as the gen v characters get pulled into that they're also going to start getting killed off but idc they better not touch Jordan and Marie I'm not kidding I already have hives thinking about stranger things maybe killing Steve in the last season I don't need this 😂😂😂😂

right EXACTLY jordan marie cate 🔛🔝

i genuinely didn’t expect them to pivot on cate’s character bc i really thought they’d stick with cate wanting to be good/wanting to be a hero, trying to earn her friends’ trust back, but i’m SOOO glad that they’re going the villain/anti-hero route. especially with marie and cate now on opposing sides and them basically being each other’s narrative foils, like i need them to go full on villain with cate like it’s just too good a set up for a really complex relationship between marie and cate.

*sighs* okay so my thing with andre is that he COULD’VE been a really interesting character. like, daddy issues, bisexual, doesn’t really care about being a superhero and lowkey in love with his best friend (the writers are cowards for not making the throuple happen) like there were so many ways his character could’ve been done, but then he ended up being a stereotypical nepo baby. it’s kinda like the writers put little to no effort in his character development and didn’t even try to make him likable 😭 he just constantly gets thrown around by the other characters, he slept with his best friend’s girlfriend, and he’s just kind of a dick in general. really the only thing i found really genuine and likable about andre was his love for luke, and to a certain extent, cate. but beyond that, he’s just not a very sympathetic character to me idk 😭

honestly, i’m not suuper attached to any of the boys characters, maybe it’s bc i always end up taking super long breaks between binge watching but if they decided to start killing off main characters, i think i’d be fine (except kimchie or starlight pls don’t touch them thx) but THEY BETTER NOT TOUCH MARIE OR JORDAN OR I’M STARTING A RIOT IN THE PRIME VIDEO BUILDING FR like you could even take cate from me just dont touch limoreau…

i’m gonna be honest, i kinda wish gen v was less tied into the boys and got to stand on its own more bc i really need homelander to stay FARRRRRR away from marie and jordan and cate. butcher too. but also bc i really liked the college setting but seeing as how we now know the entire college is a scam, it might completely move away from godolkin, which is a shame bc i loved the superhero college-sky high esque concept of it and i wish we had gotten MORE of it before we got into all the plot heavy stuff but…it is what it is ig 🤷🏼‍♀️

#again its early pls excuse my nonsense 😭 #gen v #gen v rambles #marie moreau #jordan li #limoreau #gen v spoilers #gen v theories #cate dunlap #andre anderson

[kagome-usagi-tsukino]

I need everyone to know that I’ve watched Snow White with the Red Hair dozens of times and now read it dozens of times. And I just CANNOT GET OVER Shirayuki and Obi. I just cannot and it hurts me so deeply.

Like the likely things that are going to happen are:

1. Obi never confesses, Shirayuki never knows, and Obi will live his life alone by her and Zen’s side as an attendant.

2. Obi does confess but Shirayuki, although she cares about it, states she doesn’t love him or that she wants to be by Zen’s side. Obi accepts it and stays by their side.

3. Obi gets severely hurt, confesses his feelings, and dies.

Obi literally deserves the universe. It sucks because most likely, he doesn’t end up with her (or even better) in a Throuple with her and Zen. Most likely he’s gonna end up alone or dead and I CANNOT DEAL WITH THESE FEELINGS. I don’t necessarily want Shirayuki to be separated from Zen either so it makes it even worse 😭😭😭

#akagami no shirayukihime #snow white #snow white with the red hair #Shirayuki #zen wisteria #zen #obi #anime #manga #romance

[markantonys]

AMOL prologue-chapter 8 (note that i mention in this post a huge spoiler from the end of the book that i’m not supposed to know yet but do and i’ve put a warning in that bullet point, although i’m pretty sure 90% of my audience is people who’ve already read the whole series anyway jkfg)

some guy called isam is apparently in a jekyll-and-hyde situation with luc??? what is going on here on this day???? he’s in some creepy town and talking about stuff called Talentless and samma n’sei. to all of this, i say: NO! it is the last goddamn book, and i do NOT want to receive any new information unless it’s about how rand will be able to defeat the dark one and survive the last battle! and i CERTAINLY do not want to be introduced to any new characters, cultures, or lore! i am handing sanderson/rj’s notes a flowchart that reads: is this stuff vital information? if yes, you should’ve established it in an earlier book! if no, throw it in the trash and put me back into the actual important plotlines!

i do love how perrin is the most boring and useless of the main protagonists and his Archnemesis is the most boring and useless of the main antagonists (if slayer can even be considered a main antagonist, which i don’t think he can be). match made in heaven.

“my people live with a grave misconception of the world, bayle. in doing so, they create injustice.” good for egeanin, but why THE FUCK did this arc go to her and not tuon. MINDBOGGLING.

“something had to be done. and yet, in doing it, did she risk causing the entire empire to collapse?” unfortunately egeanin’s still on her “i’ll always be seanchan, must preserve the empire” bullshit for the moment but at least she’s made SOME real and good progress, unlike TUON.

“honestly, the way you lot [sleete and other warders] have been hovering over me lately makes me think of a mother bird who has lost an egg.” “lan is important to many of us, nynaeve sedai.” omg 🥺🥺 one of the books’ only glimpses at Warders As Community, i love it!

nynaeve rips egeanin a new one for letting the seanchan get the male a’dam and says she’s taking her to the amyrlin, and egeanin decides that she’s now da’covale to the amyrlin. the seanchan woman who will help egwene maybe??? i did predict it would be either egeanin or tuon since they’re the only 2 important seanchan women.

talmanes is going to die from a poisoned wound. oh no! anyway.

jkfjg i’m gonna say it.............talmanes was massively overhyped! i don’t dislike him at all, he’s fine and has had a couple fun moments, but i do not understand why people love him so much. i saw his name eeeeeeverywhere before i started the books! and then i kept going “maybe this will be the book when talmanes becomes my beloved” and it never happened. maybe THIS will finally be the book when talmanes becomes my beloved, but also my Becoming My Beloved doors closed around book 5 or 6 so i doubt it. i also don’t understand why people ship him with mat - it’s a perfectly fine ship that i have no issue with, it’s simply that every time the two of them interact i get such strong Heterosexual Bros vibes lmao in my eyes that dynamic is just so devoid of homoeroticism compared to mat and rand, for example (and rand and every male forsaken, for another example). they just remind me of the dril tweet “me n the boys eating messy sandwiches sneaking around with big binoculars looking for girls and letting every one know who runs this tj maxx”

actually maybe i do have a little issue with the ship, and it is that in some ways it takes the place of cauthor in mat’s life and does a worse/less compelling job of filling that role (as is the case with countless “brand new side character coming in after the first 5/6 books to fill a role that used to belong to main character and do a worse job” situations), and that makes me bitter.

aww aviendha’s in a sweat tent and misses wetlander baths! she is going to thrive in the avirandlayne throuple raising their six (6) babies in caemlyn endgame! even if it SHOULD only be two (2) babies since the quadruplets are cursed.

"why would the columns show a despair that cannot change? no. i refuse to believe it. rhuidean has always shown us what we needed to see. to help us, not destroy us. this vision must have a purpose as well.” bair giving me some much-needed hope!!!

“‘the car’a’carn has a...fondness for dramatic presentations,’ bair said, her tone itself fond. ‘he’s like a crockobur who has toiled all night making a nest so that he can sing of it in the morning to all who will listen.’” WHY IS THIS THE MOST WHOLESOME THING I’VE EVER READ 😭 let rand be a stay-at-home papa bird and spend his time making nests and singing about them to all who will listen 2k22! also it’s throwing me back to egwene’s TSR line about “a boy with a lamb nestled inside his coat, proud as a rooster because he had driven off the wolf that tried to take it” which gave me insane emotional damage that to this day i have not recovered from.

okay, so now aviendha is ALSO at merrilor and both rand/avi AND rand/elayne have not bothered to go say hello to each other yet! i mean i guess avi had to talk to the wise ones urgently about rhuidean, but still!! she could’ve spared 5 seconds for kissing rand (and elayne)! he could’ve burst into the sweat tent to be like “hey i just sensed that my girlfriend whom i haven’t talked to in ages is in here”!

“‘her task was not just to teach him,’ amys said. ‘what i wouldn’t give to know that he was safely under the watchful eyes of a good woman.’ she looked at aviendha, face laden with meaning.” amys really said fuck min huh jkjdfg i’m howling!!!!

amys, after an entire month+ in arad doman watching min be plastered to rand’s side and sleep in his room every night: boy i sure wish rand had a good girlfriend min: um amys: is someone speaking?

it’s honestly crazy (and hilarious) how COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT min/rand is to EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER except the two of them and cadsuane. there are SO many people who have SEEN them together and KNOW they’re dating but STILL assume that rand/avi or rand/elayne is the relationship that matters. as they should! crazy and hilarious but also frustrating, since it proves time and time again how totally narratively unnecessary romantic min/rand was. they could’ve remained platonic friends and nothing about the story would be different, except for the many things that would be better!

“‘he will be mine,’ aviendha said, firmly. but not for you, amys, or for our people. she was shocked at the strength of that sentiment within her. she was aiel. her people meant everything to her. but this choice was not their choice. this choice was hers.” ❤️❤️❤️ we LOVE the contrast with min always complaining that loving rand was the pattern’s choice rather than her own (which eventually is intended to be romantic in a “fate itself wanted us together we couldn’t have resisted if we’d tried” sort of way, but i for one have always been firmly in the “the inherent romance of love being a choice” camp).

also, it’s so bizarre how common a take “rand/elayne and rand/aviendha only happened because the pattern made them both be into rand because he needed political things from them in order to defeat the dark one, while rand/min is the genuine relationship that would’ve happened on its own anyway” when “the pattern (slash prophetic knowledge thereof) forced it and they never would have looked twice at each other otherwise” is literally genuinely EXACTLY what happened with rand/min, while elayne and avi both fell for rand naturally rather than forcing feelings Because Fate Said So as min did. and rand is very much attracted to both elayne and avi before they show interest in him, whereas min’s just kind of an “oh, and min” afterthought way waaaaaaay in the back of his mind until she’s literally sitting in his lap kissing him and making him go “huh maybe i do want to kiss her” like he never would’ve had anything more than a subconscious fleeting interest in her if she hadn’t pursued him so aggressively, and she wouldn’t have pursued him if she hadn’t had a viewing that they would fall in love someday. whereas randlayne and avirand happened 100% organically on both sides! but sure, those are the two that the pattern forced and min/rand is the organic one.

haha the audiobook said “[kymer’s] uncle han” but when i went to the print book to type up my quotes i saw it says “her sister-father han” fascinating! the book i have does appear to be the original first publication hardcover version, so maybe that was a last-minute edit after they’d already given the book over to the audiobook narrators to record.

bair advises avi to change the names of one of her kids (from the names that she learned in the vision) in hopes that that will help avert the bad future. or she could just NOT GET PREGNANT WITH THE KIDS AT ALL, BAIR like oh my god this is such an obvious solution! i’d be totally fine if they brought it up but dismissed it as infeasible/undesirable for whatever reason (maybe they point out that heartleaf tea isn’t 100% effective, or maybe aviendha really wants to have kids and isn’t willing to make that sacrifice, though given her characterization i would find that hard to believe), but it’s just so weird to not even ADDRESS this completely obvious thing that they could EASILY control in order to prevent those future visions from coming to pass. again, it would’ve been a MUCH different situation if aviendha was already pregnant when she saw the visions. but of course, that would’ve required rand to speak more than 2 words to her between LOC-AMOL which was obviously impossible to achieve 🙄 like, they could’ve fucked in arad doman and then avi finds out she’s pregnant immediately after she sees the visions and is like “oh shit that future’s already happening” that would’ve been very emotional!

also it’s wack (wack narratively speaking, that is - ofc these things do happen irl and in-world it could simply be that min’s always drinking heartleaf tea and elayne and avi didn’t) that rand knocks up elayne after 1 time having sex with her and avi after 2 times (i assume, as they fuck for the second time later in this chapter chunk), yet he’s fucking min constantly and she never gets pregnant. really does lend weight to @butterflydm’s depressing theory that rj (whether consciously or not) wanted rand’s live-in sex-providing girlfriend to ~maintain her figure~ and be super hot and unencumbered by negative pregnancy side effects and thus available for sex at all times while the 2 sidepieces he never sees are given the job of being his baby machines.

it turns out that the weird stuff going on at the black tower is channelers being forcibly turned to the shadow by that 13 channeler-and-fade combination (or whatever the combo is, it said it somewhere in androl’s section but i already forget and don’t care enough to skim through it again looking for the sentence). huh i forgot that that was a thing. back in TGH i thought that channelers being forcibly turned to the shadow was gonna be a much bigger problem than it ended up being lmao i don’t envy sanderson having to at the eleventh hour bring back and wrap up all these plot threads that rj forgot about/ignored for 10 books and annoying the reader (or THIS reader anyway) by getting into whole new sideplots on the eve of the last battle.

also forgot moghedien is still alive. she’s been horribly punished for her failures, as has lanfear, as has graendal (who was resurrected into a super ugly body). female villains getting endlessly tortured while male villains get a nice clean death is so real.

“demandred wants only one thing. al’thor.” demandred that’s gay. and also relatable.

my man demandred shows up to the meeting, hello king! maybe we’ll see you for more than 5 pages in this book.

moghedien’s all “graendal’s only weapon was her looks so now that she’s ugly she’ll be helpless” this is exactly what graendal, who is secretly the biggest brained forsaken, wanted the others to think! i’m sure a bad bitch won’t let this ugly new body stop her.

taim is made a forsaken, whoa didn’t know you could do that! so now there’s 5 left: taim, moridin, demandred, moghedien, and graendal.

if taim was gonna become a forsaken anyway, why the fuck couldn’t he have just been demandred?? what has demandred been doing this whole time that he couldn’t have been taim? we need to condense some plotlines and characters here, people! on the other hand, demandred is sexy and taim is not sexy so i wouldn’t want them to be the same person. can’t explain that any further, it’s just their respective vibes.

“‘just remember my requirement: i face al’thor on the field of battle. his blood is mine, and no one else’s.’ ...you will have competition with [taim], demandred, moghedien thought. he wants al’thor nearly as much as you do.” everyone wants rand carnally!!!! “demandred had been changing lately. once, he wouldn’t have cared who killed lews therin - so long as the man died. what made demandred insist on doing the deed himself?” he wants to fuck rand so bad it makes him look stupid. also, moghedien, you don’t have any room to judge other people’s antagonistic homoerotic obsessions jkjfg

moridin says that this is the end, so “if you have plots, bring them to completion” a nice little bit of fourth wall breaking lmao

and i have finished my last WOT prologue ever thank fuck!!

rand and perrin are in rand’s tent together catching up and laughing awww! but where the fuck is mat!!!!

rand is spying on elayne and suspects that she’s also spying on him. he hears that elayne has been wakened late at night, suspects she’s receiving urgent news, and............sends spies to find out what it is instead of just going to ask her himself??? what the fuck???? what is this absolute batshit insanity????? that is your GIRLFRIEND rand???? to whom you’re literally soulbonded???? why the fuck are you guys spying on each other rather than going to ask each other what your plans are????? i can’t. i can’t!!!!

“‘she’ll have someone [spying on us], balwer,’ rand said with a smile. ‘she all but taught me how to do this, after all.’” okay that IS cute. but it still makes no sense that they would go to all the effort of setting up spies in each other’s camps instead of just talking to each other!!!! i love a sexy machiavellian relationship of two political powerhouse partners spying on and mistrusting each other as much as the next person, but that has never been the vibe of *rand and elayne’s* relationship.

rand has finally found out about the babies............OFFSCREEN and seemingly from hearsay rather than from elayne or one of his friends, what the fuck!!! why couldn’t we see the moment of him finding out! why the hell did elayne not find him immediately at merrilor to tell him! why the everloving FUCK did rand not find HER immediately to talk to her when he heard the news through the grapevine! more absolute batshit insanity. a few pages in and the amount of suspension of disbelief being asked of me vis-a-vis randlayne’s relationship is already cracking my skull in half.

“pregnant. pregnant with his children. light! he had only just learned of it. why hadn’t she been the one to tell him?” i don’t know maybe because you DIPPED ON HER WHILE SHE WAS SLEEPING AND NEVER BOTHERED TO STAY IN CONTACT WITH HER OR TRAVEL BACK TO SEE HER DESPITE AN ABUNDANCE OF OPPORTUNITIES TO DO SO, RAND. at least he does go on to acknowledge “he hadn’t exactly made himself easy to find” so okay. but he also thinks that she wouldn’t have told him because she would’ve felt his emotions while he was in The Bad Place and “wouldn’t have wanted to confront him with a pregnancy when he’d been in such a state” which is a) absolutely not true, elayne never once had a thought along those lines and b) totally unfair to elayne, to say that while rand’s in a bad state she would consider being his partner and fellow parent of their kids Too Hard and would just opt not to tell him. avoiding rand when being his partner gets hard is a min move, not an elayne move.

“still, it was a shock. i’m going to be a father, he thought, not for the first time. yes, lews therin had had children, and rand could remember them and his love for them. it wasn’t the same. he, rand al’thor, would be a father. assuming he won the last battle.” baby boy!!!! and these are the only thoughts we get from rand on the subject for now, smh i’ve been waiting for BOOKS for him to find out about the babies, i need more reaction and emotions than this!!! i expect nothing and i’m still let down!!!

sidenote: since the show’s beefed up dad!rand (and dad!LTT judging by the fact that his first and thus far only scene showcased him as a dad rather than as a husband) i hope they’ll dwell more on the tragedy of LTT killing his own kids instead of solely ilyena, as it is in the books.

"i [perrin] have people close to elayne. people who keep watch on things for me.” “let’s go talk to them. i have a great deal to do tonight, but...yes, i can’t let this slip.” RAND??? JUST GO???? TALK TO ELAYNE DIRECTLY??????? jesus christ i’m having a fucking aneurysm over this djfgkj IT’S ABSOLUTE BATSHIT INSANITY!!!!!

when gawyn tells elayne that she needs rest: “thank you very much for the advice, which i will ignore, as i ignored birgitte when she said the same thing.” JSKDFJG GO OFF!!! absolute icon. Good For Her.jpg

now elayne is once again arguing that they should let rand break the seals, which is what she said when egwene first shared the news but then in her povs in the second half of TOM she was thinking that it was crazy and they couldn’t let rand do something so stupid. make up your mind, sanderson!

when egwene refers to “one of rand’s crackbrained schemes”: “elayne smiled fondly. light, but she was smitten.” (this is egwene pov calling her smitten not elayne calling herself smitten lmao) and then later “‘he has a fair bit of gleeman in him,’ elayne said, again fondly.” matrandlayne is the ideal throuple because they all adore crackbrained schemes and gleeman-like dramatic showmanship! and avi is the ideal fourth polycule member because she can kick some sense and dignity into them.

guybon brings news to elayne of the attack on caemlyn and when she praises him for his actions, he says “give your reward to the men of the band, your majesty. it was their work.” yeah now i AM retroactively glad that mat and the band weren’t involved in elayne claiming the throne in canon (tho i adore it in fics) because it would’ve turned into this same sort of “mat/talmanes and the band being the heroes of the day and getting all the credit” lmao

“‘here, let us link. i’ll lend you my strength.’ nynaeve looked shocked. ‘mother?’ ‘you are better at healing than i.’ egwene smiled. ‘i may be amyrlin, nynaeve, but i am still aes sedai. servant of all.’” ❤️❤️ egwene is The Best, Truest Aes Sedai, and The Best, Truest Amyrlin. she embodies everything they are supposed to be, as opposed to cadsuane who embodies everything that's wrong/broken with the system. i sure am glad that it’s egwene and not cadsuane who’s amyrlin. i SURE AM glad. sob.

perrin says that in blacksmith-ing if something shatters it’s better to start again than try to fix it, and rand uses the same thing to talk about the seals. “rand, that’s the most reasonable thing anyone has said on this topic. have you explained it that way to egwene?” “she’s not a blacksmith, my friend.” “she’s smart, rand. smarter than either of us. she’ll understand if you explain it the right way.” thank you perrin!!!!! this whole time rand’s been like “ugh why won’t egwene see REASON” it’s because you literally didn’t explain shit to her, you just showed up at the tower and said “i’m gonna break the seals, see you in a month” and left again immediately.

rand learns about caemlyn and once again, bafflingly, talks to perrin about how they can’t let elayne leave rather than going to talk to elayne herself

“rand could feel [elayne], of course, through the bond. her spike of alarm let him know that she’d received this information. should he go to her? perhaps he could send min.” ??????????????????????????? you just learned that your girlfriend’s HOME has FALLEN TO TROLLOCS and you think of sending your other girlfriend to go talk to her in your place because you’re too busy to check on her and see if she’s okay or needs anything?????? i hate to say it but Deadbeat Dad Rand IS becoming tragically real, christ

and rand now suddenly feels avi arrive at merrilor, so this must take place slightly before avi’s prologue scene. i can report that he, of course, has no thought of going to find her and say hello or anything.

“the attack might unnerve elayne, make her more eager to act. perhaps this will make her more vulnerable to agreeing with my plan. this could be a good thing.” WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK RAND!!!! why is randlayne being done so FILTHILY in this chapter!!!! at least perrin frowns at this statement and rand thinks “how quickly i’ve learned to use others” so at least he’s being narratively called out for being a shithead here, BUT STILL this is crazy. genuinely from this chapter alone, bar the lines explicitly stating that elayne is pregnant with rand’s babies, i would have no idea that he cares about her at ALL let alone that she’s his COMMITTED SOULBONDED GIRLFRIEND i hate it here!!! my sole consolation is that min has been asleep offscreen the whole chapter and rand’s had no significant thoughts about her, so at least i don’t have to have min/rand rubbed in my face while randlayne is dragged through the mud.

rand also says “i thought she had that thing guarded!” about the caemlyn waygate, so not only is he a) not bothering to see if elayne’s okay after her home was attacked and b) thinking that her being upset and vulnerable over this could be a good thing for his plans, he is now c) blaming her for the attack happening.

“of all those to turn to the shadow, demandred’s betrayal seemed the most tragic. the man could have been a hero. should have been a hero. i’m to blame for that, too, rand thought. if i’d offered a hand instead of a smirk, if i’d congratulated instead of competed. if i’d been the man then that i am now...” oh.............OH! that is some good good tragic doomed lovers to enemies shit!!! (but also, what sort of man ARE you now, rand? the kind who doesn’t bother to find his partner to say hello and talk about their babies after not having seen her in months and not having known she was pregnant until just now? the kind who doesn’t spare a single thought for how his partner must feel about tragic news from her home except to think that it would be super helpful to him if she were vulnerable about it?)

okay rand FINALLY thinks that he’s going to send to elayne and also send help to evacuate the city, fucking finally, rand! but he’s still just Sending To her rather than sending HIMSELF to her, of course.

moving on from bullying rand (for the moment). 2 chapters in and this is already my mood:

IT’S THE LAST DAMN BOOK!!! STOP WASTING MY TIME WITH RANDOS I DON’T CARE ABOUT!!!!!! you guys know very well how much i’ve always hated side character plotlines, so you can imagine how enraged i am about this kjfg like man, call me rand because the amount i DO NOT CARE about what’s happening at the black tower is ASTRONOMICAL (okay maybe i’m not done bullying rand)

thankfully, next we get avilayne reunion!!! 🥰🥰

as soon as aviendha hears about the attack on caemlyn she goes right to find elayne to talk to her about it. rand take notes.

“[elayne] looked very much in control, very strong, her red-gold hair practically glowing in the lamplight...aviendha was pleased to se the fire in her first-sister’s eyes.” proud and awestruck wife aviendha!!! convenient source of light that makes elayne’s hair glow!!! also, reminds me of the matlayne reunion when mat was describing how radiant elayne looked and how her hair glowed in the firelight. this is elayne’s harem, we’re all just living in it!

then when elayne insists to the lords upon the hard but necessary course of not trying to retake caemlyn: “her face was a mask, her voice as cold as good steel.” rand parallels!! insert my usual ranting about how we were robbed of rand and elayne dealing with the burdens of leadership etc together.

aviendha thinks that elayne always knows “the most interesting curses” aviendha is the little spiderman to elayne’s medium spiderman to mat’s big spiderman when it comes to swearing jkfjg my loves! that’s what a polycule should be all about.

as SOON as she realizes avi is there, elayne sends every single person out of the tent to leave the two of them in private. so that she can kiss her wife!

“i’ve reached the point in my pregnancy where i can channel again reliably” that seems like awfully convenient timing for the last battle lmao was it mentioned initially that channeling would be reliable again in the second trimester? i think i remember monaelle saying it would just get worse and worse as the pregnancy progressed. overall this was just a totally useless thing that didn’t end up affecting the plot in any significant way - there were many times when drama and danger could have been heightened by elayne finding herself unable to grasp the source, but they were never taken and the source was always there when she TRULY needed it.

elayne receives a LETTER from rand rather than rand just walking 10 feet into her camp to talk to her in person, christ almighty. “he insists that i return to caemlyn to see to my people...light, this is clever. he’s obviously trying to bully me into staying. there’s a touch of daes dae’mar in this.” “you seem proud. yet i gather this letter is only one step away from being insulting!” “i am proud. and angry at him. but proud because he knew to make me angry like that. light! we’ll make a king out of you yet, rand.” again, this is cute and funny on the one hand but on the other hand is the sort of Machiavellian Relationship that does not fit with randlayne’s established vibes.

“a fire still burned behind those eyes of hers. elayne was a warrior, as true a one as aviendha had ever known.” ❤️❤️

avi asks elayne for permission to fuck rand tonight since they may not get another chance. elayne gives it and asks if avi’s spent time with min, to which avi replies “not enough, and under other circumstances i would remedy that lack immediately. there is no time...i do think she feels better about me. she did me a great honor in helping me understand the last step to becoming a wise one. it may be appropriate to bend some of the customs.” ugh it’s always been so annoying how min just.......gets to be an exception to the first-sister thing. aviendha was so staunch that she couldn’t be with rand until she and elayne were first-sisters, yet min is basically a STRANGER to her, and a stranger who has demonstrably no interest in learning about or respecting aiel ways let alone participating in them, or even in sharing rand with the two of them at all, but gets to have avi going “eh it’s fine we can make an exception.” min hasn’t earned that!!! and her “great honor” of helping avi with the wise ones was a complete accident lmao all she did was embarrass avi so much by asking why she was doing pointless punishments (which she would’ve known was a shaming question if she’d had any interest in learning about aiel ways) that avi snapped at the wise ones. min had no intention of helping her and never even realized that she did help her!

for real, elayne broke her goddamn back to make this whole polycule work and gets 0 time with rand, while min didn’t put in an ounce of effort (and actively dislikes that she has to let elayne and avi take part in the relationship) and gets to be with him all by herself for over half the series.

it’s very hard to think about the concept of min being likable to me when i’ve been so deep in the trenches of book!min sucking for so long now, but if i try to think objectively then there are some very easy fixes the show can make. 1) don’t make her change her style and personality for rand (and it’s 100% guaranteed the show will indeed not do this, seeing as it’s 2022 and nobody in their right mind would think that shit is acceptable), 2) make her eventual giving in to falling in love with rand feel natural and as a result of getting to know and like him as a person rather than just a random decision she makes while miles away from him Because Fate Said So, 3) get rid of the whole “hunting rand down and seducing him into a relationship” grossness that characterized TFOH and LOC, 4) get rid of her reluctance to share him and make her equally as on board with a poly relationship as elayne and avi are, 5) make her actually spend time with elayne and especially avi and form meaningful relationships with them. and possibly 6) don’t give her such a disproportionately large amount of exclusive screentime with rand while avi and elayne get shafted, but this would not bother me AS much if fixes 4 and 5 had been made, because it COULD actually feel wholesome, like min taking care of rand on elayne and avi’s behalfs while they aren’t able to be with him (and how wonderful would it be if min and rand actually TALKED about elayne and avi during this time, and did so fondly and lovingly!), rather than like she’s trying to hog him all to herself and prove that she’s his One Real Partner.

me: it’s so easy to fix min [gives a whole list of fixes that require completely overhauling her character and relationship with rand]

anyway, elayne and avi plan to talk to min before sending avi to fuck rand, and we later find out that they did so offscreen. just like with the convo about the decision to bond him, we don’t get to actually see the 3 of them sitting down together and talking about rand and their shared feelings for and relationships with him. it’s so weird!! such a wasted opportunity!! i don’t fucking care about androl and pevara, can i please see elayne, avi, and min having a scene all together for ONCE???

once again so so so so grateful for rafe’s commitment to interpersonal relationships in the show, this shit would NEVER happen there! nor would any of the Randlayne Batshit Insanity i’ve been complaining about in this post.

i have read 13 books. i have slogged through thousands of pages and read or listened to every single word, even if i wasn’t always paying super close attention. but androl and pevara’s plotline has for the first time made me resort to skipping scenes and reading summaries instead. no regrets! congratulations, androl and pevara, you’ve finally broken me when not even perrin’s plotlines could. i’m not going to read a single one of their scenes for the rest of the book, i’ve decided. i just want to be done with this series jkdjfg not that i haven’t enjoyed reading it (during certain books and plotlines, anyway), but good god i just want to be done.

“it was still hard to get used to the idea of tam being there, just one camp over. rand had dined with him earlier. it had been awkward, but no more so than expected for a king inviting his father from a rural village to ‘dine.’ they had laughed about it, which had made him feel much better.” 🥺

but also, i see how it is, rand has the time to invite tam over for dinner and perrin over to hang out from a different camp, but not elayne or aviendha 😤 what a perfect opportunity to introduce his dad to his other two girlfriends that he’s just not taking. i bet MIN was invited to family dinner.

avi arrives to see rand thank god!! but his reaction is so baffling. “how have i taken you from [the maidens]?” he says as if he does not know full well that they got into a committed relationship in WH. “light. she was beautiful. but so was elayne...and so was min...and...he was a fool. a light-blinded fool. ‘aviendha,’ he said. ‘i love you, i truly do. but that’s a problem, burn it! i love all three of you. i don’t think i could accept this and choose-’” like literally what the FUCK is happening???? rand!!! do you not remember the ENTIRE CONVERSATION the four of you had where you said you loved all of them and felt bad about it, and they reassured you that they all loved you and were happy to share you, and then they all bonded you as their warder and avi and min gave their blessing for you to fuck elayne?? what the fuck is happening right now!!!! that WH scene truly had ZERO impact on rand and it’s so absolutely absurd. this is beyond asking me to suspend disbelief, it’s straight up trying to gaslight me into thinking that that WH scene never happened!

but the good news is that “she was beautiful, but so was elayne, and so was min, and..................” gives me room to interpret that he’s subconsciously thinking “and so is mat” jdkfjg

also, interesting that rand is fretting that sleeping with avi now would be A Decision when he’s been sleeping with min for months...............implying perhaps that min has always been just sex to him and not A Decision about which of the three he loves 👀

“‘we are first-sisters, rand al’thor, elayne and i. when we get to know her better, min will join us. we three will share in all things.’ first-sisters? he should have suspected, following that odd bonding. he raised a hand to his head. we will share you, they had said to him.” WHAT THE HELL DID YOU THINK THAT CONVERSATION WAS ABOUT, RAND???? JESUS CHRIST currently saying with my whole chest that every time WOT women complain about men being stupid and unobservant is 100% justified. jesus christ.

for my own sanity, i must assume that this is all a result of sanderson Just Not Getting the polycule or at least avirand specifically (since their relationship is by far the worst in terms of “suddenly experienced a total reset in TGS and acted like WH never happened”) and that it would’ve been much different if rj had written it. i don’t like to lean on “this would’ve been better if rj had written it” too much because most of the time the things i’m annoyed about are things he’d already established that sanderson had to run with and claiming that it’s a Sanderson Problem is just using him as a scapegoat for rj’s own bad storytelling decisions, but in this instance i do think it’s true. even as little as avirand and randlayne got in LOC-KOD, i do remember noticing a marked decrease in rand thinking/caring about avi and elayne in TGS which got even worse in TOM since we didn’t have any rand pov.

“is this so terrible a thing to consider, being with the three of us?” “i want it, aviendha. i should hide myself because i do. but the pain...” “you have embraced it, have you not?” “it is not my pain i fear. it is yours.” “are we so weak, then, that we cannot bear what you can?” 👏👏👏 “of course not. but how can i hope for pain in those i love?” “the pain is ours to accept.” 👏👏👏

god rand NEEDED this kind of “yes you might die, and it will hurt us, but that’s our choice to make and we’ll bear that pain” outlook from a partner SO MANY BOOKS AGO instead of min’s constant insistences that she Won’t Let Him die at tarmon gai’don. not saying it isn’t admirable to keep up that kind of optimism or that it isn’t helpful to rand for his partners to have hope for a future with him, but he really needed avi’s different perspective as well to balance it out.

“be warned; it is all three of us, or none of us. we will not let you come between us.” good on you avi but i am 100% certain that min would gladly let it come between you if rand wanted only her lmaooo

also, this seems like the kind of convo they should all 4 be having together (since it APPARENTLY didn’t stick for rand the first time they had it in WH). this brings me to my other point, that the whole “the 3 women discuss who gets to fuck rand today and send that person to him” (which we also kinda saw in WH tho at least they did all talk to him first even if the women had pre-agreed to leave elayne alone with him after) is SO AWKWARD. HUGE harem vibes. like please just have an orgy all together, for fuck’s sake.

i don’t feel strongly about min having romantic relationships with elayne and avi in the show like i do about elayne and avi having one with each other, and in fact it WOULD be kinda cool to see at least one platonic sibling-spouse dynamic, but if all 4 are all dating each other it would remove so much weirdness when it comes to sex lmao especially when you also add in the fact that the warder bonds allow them to feel each other fucking rand! maybe we could do rand dating all 3, elayne dating all 3, and avi-min sibling-spouses, because it would be easier to make min/elayne happen than min/avi since they spend a lot of time together early in the series and establish a close bond early on that could be given more screentime later by including min in more of elayne’s plotlines instead of exclusively rand’s (also, show!min gives off immense queer vibes, whereas Straight Male Gaze Serving book!min could never), and it would still preserve a sibling-spouse dynamic which IS a unique dynamic that i really love and would love much more if it didn’t feel like such a big No Homo the way it does in the books, which would be accomplished by showing that women can be each other’s wives too and aren’t strictly limited to sister-wives (overall i am so so excited for the show to give us a more explicitly queer version of aiel culture as well as brother-husbands in addition to sister-wives! they haven’t actually said they’ll do that but i’ll eat my hat if they don’t.) okay where was i. oh it would also be good because avi and min being bona fide first-sisters would give them their own unique and meaningful relationship with each other, which is sorely needed. ofc i’d prefer the show just do avirandlayne throuple and keep min/rand as platonic friends because that is so much easier and more natural and works so much better in all respects, but given the “3 beautiful women” viewing and the fact that fans would riot if their beloved Rand Girlfriend didn’t get to bang him in the show, i know that won’t happen.

and so, overall, i hate min and min/rand but i really WANT the show to make me able to like them, for my own sanity if nothing else because it was bad enough having to read so many books heavily featuring a ship i hate and i don’t want to go through that again in the show jdkjfg i’m hoping by the time min/rand begins in the show in earnest it’ll be long enough since i’ve read the books that my “flying into a rage every time i so much as hear min’s name” fight or flight instinct will no longer be so strong.

and kinda same with tuon and mat/tuon, actually. villain redemption arcs (especially when Tough Childhoods and Toxic Families are involved) and hero/villain ships are my bread and goddamn butter and i was so disappointed by the teeeeeeerrible execution in the books because i think tuon could have emerged as one of my favorite characters/character arcs and mat/tuon as one of my favorite canon ships if it had been done in a way that fulfilled the fantastic potential of all the godtier tropes that form the basis of it.

okay i’ve gotten SO off track, but all the s2 stuff from nycc has me hyped up and in show mode! back to the book.

i remember somebody reblogged a post of mine a while back and were saying that aviendha doesn’t know what consent is (i think the original post was an ask where we were discussing avi and birgitte’s terrible reactions to seeing tylin harass mat at the end of ACOS) because the first time she had sex with rand, she took advantage of him while he was half-dead from hypothermia, and the second time, she forced him to have sex with her by bringing maidens to surround the tent and kill him if he refused. that interpretation of their first time i knew straightaway was bullshit bc i’d already read TFOH (they were BOTH half-dead from hypothermia and in fact avi was in WAY worse shape than rand was, which was why he got naked to warm her up in the first place) but i was like “i’m also skeptical of the second one but will reserve judgment until i read it for myself.” i can now say that yes, it’s bullshit lmao i don’t even know how that person could POSSIBLY have come to that conclusion. the maidens arrive of their own accord and avi is kinda embarrassed that they did so, and they’re just yelling and not making ANY attempt whatsoever to threaten rand in ANY way (okay there is “several were screaming about what they’d do to certain parts of his body when they caught him” but avi explains right away that they don’t mean it and the whole thing is just a symbolic practice, and besides, they’re yelling at him for taking avi away from them, not yelling at him to try and force him to sleep with her). and rand and avi do have a little exchange wherein it appears avi is calling the shots and rand just has to do what she says, but it’s clearly just flirty banter that our subby boy rand is very much into (and he’s actually the one who first initiates physical intimacy by pulling her close). you know who DID explicitly think that she would bring the maidens in to kill rand if he tried to not have sex with her? MIN during their first time in ACOS.

“aviendha sniffed. ‘enough talk. you will bed me now.’ ‘light!’ he said. ‘a little forward, aren’t you? is that the aiel way of doing things?’ ‘no,’ she said, blushing again. ‘i just...i am not very skilled with this.’ ...he laughed and pulled her close. she was stiff, initially, but then melted against him. ‘so, do i go fight them first?’ he nodded toward the maidens.” like that’s all so cute! doesn’t read at all nonconsensual to me, it’s just how they flirt! and rand is 100% onboard!

the only thing i didn’t care for was “you three decided this, didn’t you? which of you came to me?” and “i’m never going to get to choose, am i?” to both of which aviendha shakes her head, because while i can see the gender role reversal rj was going for with the 3 women deciding everything about rand between them and he just has to go along with it, it has always annoyed me. but after the second head shake is when rand laughs and pulls avi close, so i guess HE has no problem with it, which is what matters! still, defs looking forward to the show making this not only a true polycule rather than a harem, but a polycule between 4 equal partners rather than rand never being involved in conversations or decisions about his own relationship.

moridin meets rand in a dreamshard and says “i knew that if i created this place, you would join me in it. you can’t keep away from me. the pattern won’t allow it. we are drawn together, you and i. time after time after time. two ships moored on the same beach, beating against one another with each new tide.” oh my god. FELLAS. lines that would 100% fit into a romantic relationship (if a rather toxic one) with no alterations needed! this has gotta be his gayest line to rand yet, which is saying something.

moridin says he’ll kill “you, and the golden-haired one, and the aiel woman, and the little dark-haired-” and gets cut off before specifying woman, so i can interpret that he’s referring to mat as rand’s little dark-haired partner 😌 which serves both my #PutMatInThePolycule AND my #ShortKingMat agendas.

“he was reminded, in passing, of mornings during his youth, rising before dawn to milk the cow, which would need milking twice a day. eyes closed, he remembered the sounds of tam - already up - cutting new fence posts in the barn. remembering the chilly air, stomping his feet into his boots, washing his face with water left to warm beside the stove.” 😭😭😭

“‘light, aviendha! why do you need to sneak up on me in the first place?’ ‘for this,’ she said, then jumped forward, snatching his head and kissing him, her body pressed against his. he relaxed, letting the kiss linger.” 🥺🥺🥺 early morning kisses and then rand brings back showers from the AOL and they take a shower together! weeping over this tiny snippet of domestic avirand!!!! now if only elayne was there too (and mat)

“if i am going to live in the wetlands, then i will adopt some wetlander customs.” avirandlayne throuple raising their six (6) babies in (rebuilt) caemlyn endgame is so real y’all!!!! yes!!!

rand remarks that avi no longer seems bothered by a man channeling, but i don’t think she was ever bothered by it? didn’t he say back in TSR or TFOH that the aiel didn’t seem to care about him being a male channeler and the dragon reborn because they only care about him being the car’a’carn?

rand describes the rough calluses of avi’s hands (and how much he likes them) in a passage highly reminiscent of mat describing the rough heron brand on rand’s hand in TFOH, nice.

and we get to the big meeting of all the rulers! way too much going on in this scene for me to break down thoroughly but i’ll reskim to try and remember some specific things i wanted to note.

elayne tells egwene that she spoke to avi about her night with rand but rand didn’t tell avi his intentions for the meeting. the hoops sanderson is jumping through to avoid making elayne and rand just talk to each other directly! what’s the point? why couldn’t elayne have gone to talk to rand WITH avi for a while and then left to give them privacy to fuck? why couldn’t she have and why WOULDN’T she have? it makes no sense.

the king of murandy is a dick, so egwene makes him think the white tower has been pulling strings in murandy (by saying that she’s heard his rule is consolidating nicely and then saying “you’re welcome,” smiling, and riding away). jkjfg queen shit! “‘egwene,’ gawyn said softly, trotting his horse beside hers, ‘did you really just do that?’ ‘does he look troubled?’ gawyn glanced over his shoulder. ‘very.’ ‘excellent.’ gawyn continued riding for a moment, then broke into a deep grin. ‘that was positively evil.’” DJFKGJ i love them your honor! gawyn loves watching egwene get people’s asses as much as i do, bless him! that’s his wife! that’s OUR wife! (also, ARE they literally married yet? they said they were going to but idk if they have.)

“min stood at his side, one hand on his arm.” min showing up to a serious political meeting with rulers of the whole continent and going “i MUST plaster myself to rand to make sure everyone knows i’m his girlfriend” very inappropriate time for physical intimacy, min! especially since elayne and avi are also at the meeting and are not afforded the luxury of flaunting their relationships with rand (although elayne does tell rand she loves him in front of everyone, so they must be wondering what’s going on jkfg “i see what you’re trying to do and i love you for it, but [objection]” is soooomewhat offhand as telling people you love them goes, but still!)

“elayne swept in, the sorrow on her face lightening as rand smiled warmly at her.” ❤️❤️❤️ finally a randlayne crumb!!!!

“the wool-headed woman was still impressed with rand, pleased with how he’d managed to bully everyone into coming here. elayne considered it a matter of pride when he did well.” ❤️❤️❤️ this push-and-pull tension between elayne disagreeing with rand as a fellow leader but being proud of him as a partner (and vice versa) would have been SUCH an interesting thing to explore in detail across the whole series. sigh.

“and you don’t feel a small measure of pride? egwene asked herself. rand al’thor, once a simple village boy and your near-betrothed, now the most powerful man in the world? you don’t feel proud of what he’s done? perhaps a little.” oh my god my HEART 🥺🥺

and we also finally get a bit of randlayne political conflict! but given that elayne’s just one of many rulers voicing the same opinions and she and rand don’t talk directly to each other that much (most of his argument is with egwene while the monarchs are fussing amongst themselves), and that the narrative frames it as “rand wants a peace treaty but all the monarchs including elayne are too selfish and power-hungry to agree,” overall i’m not very satisfied with it. i do think his peace treaty is a great idea and am on his side about it, but i just wish elayne hadn’t been lumped in with the other monarchs. she’s Not Like Other Monarchs, dammit! or i would’ve loved to see rand’s initial treaty be less Good And Righteous than it is, or to see part of this scene from elayne’s pov to see her actual thoughts about the treaty rather than egwene's assumptions about what she thinks, or to have seen her and rand discuss the treaty privately and workshop ways to improve it before bringing it to the full group - because elayne DOES point out some real flaws in the treaty and propose solutions for them, which i loved to see!

“i am [the seals’] watcher.” “in name only. they were only just discovered, and i possess them. it is out of respect for your traditional title that i approached you about them first.” “approached me? you didn’t make a request. you didn’t make a demand. you came, told me what you were going to do, and walked away.” get his ass egwene!! this is exactly what i was saying earlier!

“is this what it’s about? you want saidin to be tainted again. you aes sedai...you’re threatened by the idea of men who can channel, undermining your authority!” ah, now i see where the batshit take of *****MASSIVE SPOILER FOR THE END OF THE BOOK THAT I’M NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW YET BUT DO***** “it was better for egwene to go out in a blaze of glory in the last battle because she would’ve hated living in a world where saidin is untainted and men who can channel are treated as equals and aes sedai aren’t on top of the world anymore” came from: an obviously ridiculous and paranoia-induced assumption of rand’s that Certain Readers took as inarguable fact about egwene! love that 🙄

“light, egwene. you can still do it, like the sister i never had - tie my mind in knots and have me raving at you and loving you at the same time.” 🥺

“rand looked hesitant, and for a moment, he seemed the child she’d once caught sneaking bites of mistress cauthon’s pies with mat.” cauthor crumb!

rand’s plan is to KILL THE DARK ONE okay damn. given that the whole series is about balance and how light can’t exist without shadow and vice versa, i’m 95% sure that will turn out to be a bad and/or impossible idea and that it will turn out egwene is right in this particular argument and rand will just imprison him again after all. i hope so, i want egwene to win one of their arguments lmao since moiraine comes in and basically calls her out and embarrasses her in front of all the rulers for trying to disagree with rand about the seals.

“for all his complaints about aes sedai, for all of his insistence that he wouldn’t be controlled by them, he was acting more and more like one of them himself.” exactly!!! glad to see that little bit of hypocrisy acknowledged outright by the narrative and not just by me in my own head.

moiraine returns!!!!! and for some reason we are put into perrin’s pov for this scene instead of rand’s or staying in egwene’s. although various channelers flicking the annoying murandian king with the power and perrin being able to tell who it was by them smelling smug WAS hilarious, i’ll admit.

“where had mat gotten to now? why hadn’t he come back with moiraine?” YEAH FOR REAL WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU MAT??????? literally EVERY other character is here, where are you??????? you are RUINING all my hopes and dreams of ef5 reunions!!!! which i always knew would never happen, but they COULD have if mat had gone with moiraine instead of fucking off to wherever he is currently!!! honestly what the hell!!!

“[rand] hesitantly reached out and touched her face. ‘by my mother’s grave,’ rand whispered, then fell to his knees before her. ‘how?’ moiraine smiled, resting a hand on his shoulder. ‘the wheel weaves as the wheel wills, rand. have you forgotten that?’” MOMRAINE!!!

also cracking up at rand: how are you alive? moiraine: the wheel weaves as the wheel wills mat: am i a joke to you?

“‘moiraine,’ egwene said, stepping forward. ‘the white tower welcomes you back with open arms. your service has not been forgotten.’ ‘hmmm,’ moiraine said. ‘yes, i should think that having discovered a future amyrlin would reflect well upon me.’” MOMRAINE!!!

“she passed perrin, and gave him a squeeze on the arm, eyes twinkling.” MOMRAINE!!!

“nynaeve enfolded moiraine in a powerful embrace. moiraine stood for a moment, smelling distinctly shocked, hands out to the sides. finally, she returned the embrace in a somewhat maternal way, patting nynaeve on the back.” MOMRAINE!!! LITERALLY!!!

“nynaeve released her, pulling back, then wiped a tear from her eye. ‘don’t you dare tell lan about this,’ she growled. ‘i would not dream of it,’ moiraine said... ‘insufferable woman,’ nynaeve grumbled as she wiped a tear from the other eye.” MY HEART IS SO FULL

“[elayne was] still staring daggers at rand...oddly, she smelled proud. strange woman.” i love her jkjfg i love Them!!

faile: “if rand persuades [the seanchan to sign the treaty], does that allow them to keep the countries they have now? the women who are damane? are they allowed to slap one of those collars on any woman who passes their border?” THANK you queen faile!!!!

lmao it’s hilarious how every single major character present in this scene is saying stuff and playing an important role in the negotiations.............except for min who has not said a single word and has done nothing but touch rand’s arm twice. she is soooo narratively useless!!! actually, we’re almost 200 pages in and min hasn’t had a single word of dialogue at all or even been present except for in the way background of this one scene. love that for me!

rand gives elayne total control over all the armies at the last battle!!!! that is fucking ROMANCE, baby!!!!! “elayne trakand is a leader to her core; she taught me much of what i know about leadership.” ❤️❤️

rand says he will “try” to “persuade” the seanchan to release the damane and the lands they’ve stolen and go back across the ocean, but aviendha says that they can’t fight the seanchan because they’ll lose. so rand says, “they have done horrible things, but so far, the lands they have taken have benefited from strong leadership.” HATE THIS LATE-SERIES NARRATIVE THAT DIRECTLY CONTRADICTS WHAT WE SAW IN FALME “if forced to it, i am content to allow them the lands they have, so long as they do not spread further. as for the women...what is done is done.” UGH!!!!! i cannot believe i just had to read that load of GARBAGE with my OWN TWO EYES!!!! what the FUCK rand!!!!!! at least he adds “let us worry about the world itself first, then do what we can for those held captive” so MAYBE he’ll try to do SOMETHING, but christ!!! after avi’s visions i feared that “make peace with the seanchan and let them stay, in part because things are ~So Much Better~ under their rule!” would be the “resolution” here, and lo and be fucking hold!!! i’m so mad!!!!!!! rand, go google “appeasement” and rethink your stance here!!!!!

anyway, this tarwin’s gap sequence with lan is sooooo good, i teared up!!! (also, huge spartan 300 vibes which me and my classics degree loved!)

“al chalidholara malkier. for my sweet land malkier. it was the oath a malkieri soldier took during their first posting to the border. lan had never spoken it. he did so now in his heart.” 😭😭😭

“[morgase banishing bryne] hadn’t been elayne’s fault, but she could read the breached trust in bryne’s face.” so bryne is standoffish with elayne because of what her mom did???? fuck that guy. he does later compliment her on her leadership skills and say he doesn’t hold morgase’s actions against her, but still. fuck that guy.

“you will do as you are told.” 😳😳 we may have lost Daddy Rand, but we still have Mommy Elayne!

sidenote while we’re on the subject: baffles me that most people think aviendha tops. did you all read all those scenes of her rushing to do whatever elayne asks and turning into a blushing mess when elayne compliments her?? wake up america. elayne tops always. avilayne, elayne tops. randlayne, elayne tops. matlayne, elayne tops even if mat would never admit it.

anyway. loial returns!!! 🥰 “i am married to erith, though, you see. she’s just over there. did you hear her singing? isn’t her song beautiful? being married is not so bad, perrin. why didn’t you tell me it was not so bad? i think i am rather fond of it.” awwww, warm welcome for loial into the WOT Wifeguy club! also in the club: gawyn, perrin, lan, rand, bashere

“rand needs me.” “rand needs us all.” “he needs me more.” perrin and elayne fighting over their boyfriend jkfg perrin justifies his ummm wild and rude claim that rand needs him more than elayne with min’s viewing that rand will die if perrin isn’t with him at the last battle. now, if only she’d had the same viewing about mat...........

who we learn is IN EBOU DAR????? according to perrin’s color visions. WHAT THE FUCK MAT WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE???? EVERYBODY ELSE IS OVER HERE GET YOUR ASS HERE NOW!!!! “that man is never where he needs to be.” christ elayne i KNOW!! man.

“the seanchan are the enemy. mat doesn’t seem to understand that, considering what he’s done.” GET HIS ASS ELAYNE!!!!!! TEAR THE BITCH APART!!! it’s still unclear whether she’s aware he’s married to the seanchan empress, but this line implies she might be since idk what else she might mean by What He’s Done

“apparently, rand had specifically told [bashere] to watch over [elayne, while they’re in caemlyn].” another one for the Romantic Or Condescending? debate lmao i’m going to say condescending because rand has time to tell bashere to watch over elayne but doesn’t have time to fucking talk to elayne directly STILL???? they were in the same place for 200 pages and didn’t exchange a word besides as leaders at the big meeting!

tam is part of the contingent who went to caemlyn with elayne, but i’m sure that having an interaction between the two of them will be too much to ask for

elayne notes that bashere doesn’t talk to her “the way a man should a queen” which is absolutely not something rj’s elayne would’ve ever thought, because she was only misinterpreted by others as being a Spoiled Princess but was never actually one.

pregnancy update: the babies are kicking and moving around frequently!!! 🥺🥺 i would like a timeline update because i really didn’t think elayne was far enough into her pregnancy to feel the babies moving THIS strongly and often, and the size of her belly has also lately been described as seemingly much bigger than i would’ve thought it would be (tho that i can excuse as twins making her bigger sooner than a single baby would). google says you typically start feeling movements between 16 and 24 weeks and that they become more regular between 24 and 28 weeks, which would mean elayne’s ~6 months pregnant now, and no way in hell was WH 6 months ago. that was midwinter and we’re still only in spring, i’m pretty sure.

elayne asks bashere if he thinks it’s a mistake for her to go into battle while pregnant and he says no - king shit! then he tells her that she should tell everyone she’s carrying the dragon reborn’s children because it would make them fight harder - opposite of king shit! as we all know, elayne is simply a vessel for rand’s babies and people would care more about fighting for them than for her 🙄

elayne quite rightly points out that this is neither any of bashere’s business nor any of the army’s business, but he says that the heir to the realm is the business of its subjects. yeah, and it’s only their business that that heir is the queen’s kid, the babydaddy is not their business!

“perhaps it will remind them that not everything in this world is dying.” can you believe that rand and elayne’s babies are being used to give a greater emotional impact and sense of hope to an army of randos than to rand? insanity.

“farmers burned their fields in the spring to prepare them for new life. maybe that was what andor was suffering now.” a sense of hope being given to me as well, thank you elayne!

but bashere does tell elayne that she reminds him of faile ❤️❤️ so he earns a few points back. i want to see elayne-faile friendship so bad! they HAVE had a couple fun interactions in this book and the previous one.

elayne does come around and tell birgitte to spread the word that the babies are rand’s. bashere, this is colossally stupid! he claims that she doesn’t have to worry about it making them any greater targets than they already are because she’s already important enough (as high commander of the armies of the light) to make them targets, which on the surface is Hell Yeah Elayne’s Special On Her Own, but if you actually think about it, it’s colossally stupid because rand IS more of a target than elayne. not only in the eyes of the shadow, but in the eyes of regular people and politicians etc. the dragon reborn is hated and feared in so many places, and elayne herself was worried last book about the potential of a Dragon Empire forming after rand’s death with the lands he holds. even were rand to defeat the shadow and die at the last battle, he would still have a dangerous and threatening posthumous legacy among non-shadow people - TONS of people would want to see his kids dead to make sure they couldn’t rise to inherit all the power and thrones and influence he left behind. COLOSSALLY STUPID for bashere to tell elayne she should publicize that he’s her babies’ dad! maybe it’ll make her soldiers fight harder right now, but what about after the last battle, huh? it will cause so many problems for her then! you’ve gotta be thinking long term here!

a shortish chunk of chapters, but the post is getting long and there’s a wonderful wonderful randlayne scene next chapter FINALLY that i know i will have many words about, so i better cut this one off here

#wot #wot book spoilers

[lightly-lumiere]

Consider an angsty Harringroveson post-s4 au where everybody lived.

Steve, Eddie and Billy got together after the whole Vecna/Upside Down mess is solved. They’re quite happy with the three of them, supportive of each other and their unique traumas, although Billy struggles a just little bit more (i.e. literally being possessed, the much heavier scarring, tw: Neil). They take interest in each other’s passion, they do cute things together, have an amazing sex life, all the good stuff.

When the Party and everyone is hanging out though, Billy still feels like he doesn’t really fit with them. Always hovering on the outside, not really knowing what to say in conversation, no one really engaging with him. Most are still a little bit wary of him, don’t really know how to talk to him after everything that happened. Once the throuple is revealed to everyone, Billy immediately gets the sense that everyone (with the exception of Max and El probably) doesn’t really like him with them. Something to the effect of - “I get Steve and Eddie, but why him.”

Maybe almost everyone shovel talks Billy about hurting Steve and Eddie, making him extremely anxious about fucking up the relationship. Everyone else seems to think that he will. Steve and Eddie only get shovel talked by Max. Maybe there are occasions where Steve and Eddie are invited to things together, and Billy who knows when he’s not wanted doesn’t insert himself. He finds himself alone more and more. Maybe sometimes people outright forget that he is part of the relationship too. And Steve and Eddie, bless them, all this goes over their heads because they are blinded by the love of their throuple (cheesy I know), and just think that Billy needs alone time or just doesn’t want to be around people.

All of this makes Billy feel really sad and anxious, constantly asking himself when Eddie and Steve are going to drop him. Makes him insecure about his scars and all his baggage. And because it’s Billy he doesn’t know how to express how he feels or even begin to talk about it.

One night, the whole gang is at Steve’s house, having a get together. After half an hour of no one speaking to Billy and him not knowing how to start a conversation with any of them, just quietly ups and leaves to Steve’s bedroom. All of his bottled up feelings come flooding out and he starts to cry and break down. He collapses against the bed and sits on the floor. He tries to be silent, because for all his sadness he doesn’t want to mess up the evening for everyone.

Downstairs, a little bit later, Max notices they’re one head short and that Billy isn’t there. She’d picked up on the tension that the gang had when Billy was around and she’d tried to make him feel better in her own way when she could. They hugged a lot more now. She discreetly goes to where Eddie and Steve are sitting, dipping her head between them from behind. “Billy isn’t here.” She whispers and the two boys perk up immediately, looking slightly wide eyed around the room and sure enough they can’t find a curly blonde head. The rest are distracted enough that Steve and Eddie slip out and run upstairs, where Max said she thought she heard a noise.

They find Billy still in the middle of his break down. They immediately scoop him up into a hug on either side of him and hold him as he cries. Steve and Eddie sort of look at each other wondering about what’s happened. When the tears have dried up sometime later, they ask him.

“What happened Bills?”

“It’s nothing, I’m sorry.”

“Hey no, you don’t have to be sorry and it’s clearly not nothing.”

“You can tell us, it’s okay.”

And so he does.

Not sure how to end this but in my mind they figure it out and work on it together with the three of them :)

[also disclaimer: I don’t think the kids and teens would do this intentionally or maliciously. Also this is fiction, if you like certain characters and don’t like others that’s fine! I’m not gonna tell you what you can and can’t like]

#harringroveson #Billy Hargrove #billy hargrove deserved better

[chthonicgodling]

how do you kill a goddess??? just keep trying??? until they wish they were dead??? has anyone seen them???

Amechania (Amey), Goddess of Powerlessness;

Sophrosyne, (Sophie), Goddess of Moderation;

Hescychia, (Hess), Goddess of Silence;

consecutive ex girlfriends of: Thanatos, God of Gentle Death, who was so charming and personable that it was anyone’s guess why out of everyone fawning over him he would choose to date any of these three shy and timid girls. Just baffling! And sheer coincidence that each of them vanished completely shortly after each relationship ended— how strange!

——

Well.

A few months ago I did a random compilation post abt Hess, who had dated the NOW known as notorious supervillain serial killer-abuser Thanatos before Maci; before anyone had known the truth ;; and now here, before THAT and Hess, there were two others previously. Amey and Sophie, each respectively entangled with Thanatos when he was 17 & then 18— immediately trapped in a secret horror show for about a year each before disappearing mysteriously… aka left somewhere for as close to dead as he could get them within the bounds of immortality. (and What does that mean??? you probably don’t want to know 😰)

There IS a happy ending since eventually within Elysium canon……. 2,000 years later, the trio were each found and fixed and then chose to erase their memories of the nightmare they had been through. They went off to live happily ever after like Hess is part of the throuple I mentioned in her post, and Sophie and Amey have never really made much of an appearance in the active Elysiumverse but are off somewhere living nicely,,

I have been thinking about specifically Amey and Sophie from where they exist as part of Maci’s history (bc… reasons) - From where at the time, no one,especially not Maci, had any idea what thanatos was doing behind the scenes and so there was never any hope to save them then— I was gonna say more re that thought but I might draw it instead so oop redacted stay tuned. but Umm I’ve only ever drawn them once ever and and that was bad and in 2012 and needed to be redone so hEre they are Formally, a collection and a horrible little compilation

everyone here belongs to me andddddd I’m so sorry about this ;;

#my art #abuse tw #ask to tag #oc art #long post #thanatos tag #hHHHhhh hGOD

[theloveinc]

ShinKami headcanons?

thank you for waiting, legend!!! i haven’t written headcanons in so long tbh so i hope these are alright <333 

also, do we prefer the regular tumblr bolded list dots for headcanons, or when they look like this: 

---

- I’m not sure where to begin... so please pardon how this starts LOL

- Shinso + Denki are honestly great in a throuple because they literally never, and I mean NEVER, make you feel left out. Whether you start the relationship with them or join after they’re already together... there’s never a moment when you’re not included in whatever their needs/wants are... or need to feel like that’s so. 

- If they talk about needing to cuddle, going somewhere, getting dinner... you better assume you’re included + respond enthusiastically or they’re gonna pester you about it. To no end. There is no “Denki + Shinso time together without y/n...” it’s all three of you or BUST

- You’re like: “aw okay have fun together” in a text about something and they both nearly call off work b/c they’re so upset you thought you weren’t part of it (you get like forty texts about it and at least five phone calls). Same w/ cuddling. You don’t catch the hint they want you there... then they’re literally DRAGGING you to bed. 

- And If there’s a party and you don’t want to go for some reason, they’re not going either. Could be fully ass dressed and ready to leave and everything, but if you express hesitation the jackets are coming right off. 

- In fact, they probably end up a lot more annoyed at each other without you. It’s not really noticeable to someone who doesn’t know them, or even all that common normally... but if you happen to ignore them for some reason, purposefully or not, there’s like a 75% chance Shin + Denks will end up at each other’s throats for some reason or another (though it’s really just sadness in disguise).

- And you’re probably the only person they listen to in arguments + can get them to stop bickering. Not even Bakugo has shit on you tbh, when it comes to one word being enough to make them be quiet. 

- You get home late from work one night (on a night neither of them are on patrol)... and there’s a full ass canyon between them on the bed and they have grumpy faces on even in their sleep. 

- That’s another thing, though... it’s great if you’re like this, too... terrible if/when you need to go somewhere........... but they’re always gonna do the most when it comes to cuddling you. “y/n” more like Shin + Denks’ joint teddy bear they have to share, every single night. 

- Except it’s not like... normal ass spooning... it’s like, Shinso’s armpit over your forehead and Denki clinging to your belly. Or Shinso’s arm around your neck and Denki’s leg over both your thighs...

- Which is funny because they’re actually really horrible sleepers (we knew this, though)... so this all ends up occurring at like... 4am when everyone is finally tired enough to stop moving. Otherwise, there’s normally at least one of them awake at all times, even if they’re in bed. 

- And I’ve said this before but... Shinso watches TV on his phone in bed when he can’t sleep....... and now that I think about it, Denki does, too........ so sometimes you’ll just randomly wake up in the middle of the night to find both of them sharing earbuds, eating a snack and watching something on a tiny ass phone screen that’s held literally right above your head. Get them some help. 

- LMAOOOO and they’re so bad at eating. Not just because they literally always forget to and are bad at cooking (so they just end up eating junk), but because... they consistently eat off of your plate. Every single meal. Like, at this point... you should just stop setting the table because they don’t even want their own food. 

- It sorta makes a little sense because you often don’t get mealtime together because of their work schedules, so yeah, sharing is nice........... but it’s still like ??? whenever one of them is getting ready for work and literally yoinks your half eaten piece of toast right out of your hands and leaves with it. 

- (You might be like, “Caitie, they both do that?” Yes.) They honestly have jealousy problems, too. If Denki gets your half your sandwich in the morning, Shinso is absolutely complaining about how rude that is....... and then trying to finish half of your lunch. There is no meal where you are ever fully left alone. They’re just lucky they get paid hella good so cooking/ordering in abundance is not really a problem anymore (and making all your dinners family style is pretty easy). 

- Same with spending time with each other, too. Denki is more babyish about it than Shinso, but if one catches the other cuddling without them... they’re throwing a whole fit. Denki getting all whiney about how “Shinso always get the front!!” or Shinso trying to hit Denki w/ a pillow for taking up “too much of” you. Or even pinching and tickling at you for always “getting everything.”

- But literally... you should probably just start saying no to cuddling at this point, and esp. if you plan on trying to get anything done after, cuz spoiler alert: you won’t, and never will (cuz then they’re mad at you for leaving them and finally teaming up to mildly guilt you). 

- Which like... what do these boys even want at this point😭😭😭 (gotta love them, though). 

#denki #shinso #shinkami #i miss shinso so bad why have people forgotten about him #he's so smexy #i dont think i fully expressed it but i think shinkami is better with a third #i feel like they need an anchor of some sort and you just tie them together really perfectly #to manage all the parts of denki that shin can't match.. and all the parts of shin that denki can't match #cuz opposites attract but there are still layers to it #...like an onion #adjkfhasd anyway this was cute #and i hope u like it anon!!! #caitie things #headcanons #anon #gen

[indigostreaking]

headcanon request if you’re still doing them:

i would love to see the guys reaction at a bar or something where a rap song comes on and you know every word by heart and they never even knew you listened to rap

😂 I love this so much!

Warning: Danny, y/n, and Sammy are in a throuple. It’s the very last blurb, so if you don’t wanna read it, stop after Jake’s 🥰

Josh:

Sam and Danny had made their way to the dart boards, and despite begging you and josh to join, you had both declined. Instead opting to whisper into each other’s ears over drinks. You glanced towards the bar and noted Jake flirting with the cute bartender, shaking your head in amusement. “Your twin is trouble,” you said to Josh before taking a sip of your fruity mixed drink.

“He’s not the only one,” he crooned back with a saucy eyebrow wiggle and smirk. You rolled your eyes but couldn’t hide your smile.

“Oh hush,” you reprimanded playfully. “I’m gonna go pick a song. Any requests?” You asked with a sly smile. You had this thing where you tried to embarrass him by playing their music every time you found it on the jukebox, which was happening more and more frequently nowadays.

“Just pick something good, bug,” he replied quickly as you stood from your seat.

“You know me, love. If I have anything, it’s excellent taste,” you had to shout your response over the ruckus of the boys playing darts. You grinned to yourself as you turned and made your way to the electronic jukebox in the corner. You cycled through the songs, debating on picking Highway Tune just to spite Josh and his growing resentment for it. Instead, you settled on one of your personal favorites, even if you just wanted to see how he’d react still. You still had a credit left, so you picked a song to ruffle Sam’s feathers and went back to your seat. You had to bite back your smile as you held on to your little secret, the anticipation nearly killing you as you watched the queued songs dwindle. You took a deep breath, and Dance (A$$) by Big Sean started to play over the speakers. You began singing along animatedly, scooting closer to Josh and teasing him by directing every word to him. His face lit up as his smile grew. He danced along, shaking his ass and hyping you up while giggling loudly.

As the song came to an end, he wrapped his arms around you, kissing your cheek sweetly before whispering, “You are so fucking amazing.” You caught his lips with yours, squeezing as you hugged him back. The opening riff to Highway Tune began to play, and you smiled into the kiss, pulling away to hide your laughter. “And I’ll always be amazed at how much of an ass you are,” he joked before pressing his lips to yours once more.

Jake:

“Not so fast, Jakey poo,” you said as you took his phone from him before he could pick a song. “Eyes on the road, passenger picks the music,” you added with a smile and a gentle squeeze of his thigh.

“Should I be scared?” He smirked at you and turned back to the road. You loosed a sigh and bit back your laughter.

“Only if you’re scared of good music,” you teased as you scrolled through his Spotify, searching for the perfect driving song. He reached across and placed his hand on your thigh, running his thumb along your bare skin absentmindedly. You grinned when you found your favorite Doja Cat song, selecting it before sitting his phone back down. The music began, and you watched the confusion unfold on Jake’s face when Freak began to play. When the lyrics kicked in, you sang along, loudly. He raised an eyebrow and turned to see you dancing and singing along. “Daddy, the grand master. Daddy I want it faster,” you made eye contact as you sang, and you noted the bob of his Adam’s apple as he swallowed hard.

“Well aren’t you full of surprises?” He mused, running his hand higher up your thigh as he marveled at you. You offered him a wink and couldn’t help but smile as his cheeks flushed a bright red.

Danny & Sam:

“Watch this,” Danny said with a sly smile as he sneakily added a song to the queue of the party playlist. The two of you watched Sam’s face contort through stages of confusion then irrational anger as the next song came on. Without hesitation, you bounced in to action, singing all the words with surprising accuracy. Danny had picked Finesse by Bruno Mars and Cardi B specifically to annoy Sam, and it always made you giggle when they picked on each other for your entertainment. The three of you had never had a ‘normal’ relationship, but you always had fun, whether that was at home alone or out and around others. You stepped closer to Danny, dancing as close as you could manage, both of you moving your bodies to the music. “He’s coming this way,” Danny whispered into the shell of your ear causing your face to burn.

Sam stepped up behind you, placing a hand on your hip and pressing his front against your back. He was warm and his grip was strong. “Something wrong, Sammy?” Danny purred as he placed a hand on your other hip. Sandwiched between the two of them was your favorite place to be, and you couldn’t contain the giggles bubbling out of you. You wiggled to the music, purposefully grinding your ass on Sam until he leaned in and swept the hair off the back of your neck before placing a warm kiss to your nape.

“You guys suck, you know I hate this shit,” he whispered loud enough for you and Danny both to hear.

“That’s kinda the point, babe,” you replied in a sassy tone that made Danny smile. Sam landed a swift smack on the round of your ass causing you to hiss.

“I’ll let you make it up to me later,” he replied before kissing your cheek gently and brushing a loose curl from Danny’s face. “I’m gonna go shmooze, love you,” he winked as he walked away, leaving you and Danny grinning like always.

#greta van fleet #gvf headcanons #josh kiszka #jake kiszka #danny wagner #sam kiszka

[argisthebulwark]

Syd!!!!!! Ohhhh my gooodddd I’ve been playing BG3 for the last week and I’m in loveeeee!!! I’ve spent 32 hours in act one alone (still playing through it, I’m going over everything with a micro vacuum as to not miss anything) and I still don’t know who I’m going to end up romancing, so far Astarion and Shadowheart are the contenders but I love the walking tragedy that is Gale… I was devastated to learn that we can’t be in a throuple with Shadowheart and Astarion, but alas the baby girl wants me all to herself!!!

Who did you end up romancing and why?!?! I’m so curious to hear who all of my friends ended up with, so far they’ve all been so different!

YESSS same!!! it's totally taken over my brain and i've become sooo normal about like. all the characters. i've been looking at the charts about who will allow you to have relationships with other characters because i want to eventually kiss them all i'm just choosing in what order. it sucks that the origin characters won't let you be in relationships with other origin characters, Shadowheart and Astarion would be perfect for an edgy throuple. you'll have to tell me who you choose!!!

My first romance was Gale by pure accident. I thought he was a fun sidekick and then when i got deeper into his story i just liked him more and more, i loved Astarion but since my first Tav made good choices he is not a fan of her lol. Gale was easy to fall for after having him in my party for so long, he's so sweet and caring i just want him to hold me. his voice actor is def a huge part of why i love him so much. the fact that he's just a walking tragedy definitely added to how much i enjoy him, like babygirl stay with me i can fix you <3 My second character is making all the evil fucked up choices and she's def gonna romance Astarion. Her name is Ratt and she sucks and i want them to be fucked up together. I want to get to Halsin too because ohhhh my god he's so big and large <3 the voice actors went insanely hard and i want to hear every dialogue option with all of them. larian killed it with these characters i can't decide which one i want more.

#bg3 #asks #beloved mutuals

[howldean]

aren't fans kinda doing exactly what that article was talking about now to jensen? like we've literally been down this road before, shouldn't we kind of all know better than to project onto these dudes? especially when he has never labeled himself as queer and has been called het by his friends, + referred to the queer community as "that community" -- idk, it just seems like people setting themselves AND jensen up unnecessarily

i have absolutely no idea why i of all people have been by some force of god, nature, or reason, deemed the best and most qualified person to answer this question but ill roll with it

i don’t really give a shit. and to what degree it can be considered projection when these guys make a Living putting themselves in Situations. eh. but in regards to “that community” if jackles is homophobic still he does a GREAT job of hiding it because he gave me a genuine smile when i told him my name is dean and patted me on the back in a one of the guys way. so really eh. sparkle on jackles it’s wednesday don’t forget to be yourself. keeps talking anyway

first of all i think that everyone should get to do whatever they want forever until the end of time. second of all i think that to some extent by being not only an actor but actively engaged with your fandom you open the door to people being parasocial freaks about you. if you have boundaries, you’re a multimillionaire who goes to golf opens in hawaii who owns a half million dollar stove you can tell people they’re making you uncomfy. it’s also the nature of the acting celebrity experience to be host to speculation about who you’re with. it’s no one’s business but yours, and i think people waste a lot of time infighting about how much thirsting or speculation is allowed. if you don’t like shipping real people then don’t be around people who do and if you do then there’s this wonderful thing called ao3 i think you’re gonna enjoy.

let’s also acknowledge that this is welcoming discourse through a fucking buzzfeed article. we’re not exactly scholars here. be serious

in terms of homophobic jackles allegations, people have been DYING to know if that man is queer since his twink days. not for nothin but literally back to his soap times he’s mentioned being comfortable with the idea of playing a gay character. however he is also a cis white man from texas with a father who thinks drinking out of straws is gay. of course he’s a little homophobic, that’s what cyberbullying is for. but also people can grow and change and i really don’t think that proves things one way or another as internalized homophobia exists AND a shift in language is good and ideal regardless. so if he wants to platonically kiss his male bestie and get stage boners from him and call him his and his wife’s boyfriend and *gestures to the manifesto* then that’s literally his prerogative. and if he thinks he’s doing some bruce springsteen clarence clemons shit then a) how dare he and b) he needs to be put down c) you will NEVER be them. you work for the cw

ultimately, i really don’t mind regardless. if he’s straight congrats. if the j2 love tunnel beard wife theory is correct what the actual fuck but congrats to you guys i guess. if some jenmisheel throuple situation is happening congrats. but i don’t waste time overthinking the ethics of behavior that people online engage in. i personally believe that no one should be forced or pushed to disclose their identity if they don’t want to. but if something ever is said in any given manner i know that im going to have a WONDERFUL time on the internet about it

this is not a comprehensive Statement in any way, just some current thoughts. it’s past midnight and i’m not bothering to proofread

#2024 and we’re still asking this shit like actually?? #literally my personal experience and the way he treated me as a trans man named after a fictional character matters so much more to me than #speculating if his nail art makes him fruity. who gives a shit #answering asks

[official-impravidus]

tagged by @tmarauder101

Rules: Post 10 of your favorite movies and tag 10 people.

10) Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle

there is something so delightful about this movie. it’s fun, it’s camp, and i will never say no to jack black shenanigans and karen gillan being a BAMF. also bethany is transmasc send tweet

9) Ant-Man and the Wasp

i will fight tooth and nail about the fact that the ant-man movies are the best movies from the mcu. if there is any mcu movie i rewatch and don’t scrub through, it’s this one.

8) Girl VS Monster

this movie is pure art. diemata’s “nothing’s gonna stop me now” is a cultural reset for me. also the skylar/ryan/myra throuple just about being canon when they sing “had me @ hello” together at the end of the movie??? we love to see poly rep

7) Knives Out

this movie is just art. i love a good murder mystery and this is great with a rewatch. i think glass onion was really great too but this one in particular will hold a special place in my heart.

6) Lovestruck

i’m SO mad that they moved this to hulu premium because it used to be on the freeform app. but basically it’s a movie musical where a woman takes a de-aging potion and tries to get her daughter’s husband to cheat on her daughter with her now young self. it’s got drew seely and chelsea kane singing “dj got us fallin’ in love” and i want to perform this dance at my wedding. also “how can i remember to forget” is SUCH a good ballad

5) Enchanted

who doesn’t love enchanted? it’s my favorite disney movie and though the sequel is mid, the original will ALWAYS be the best. the “so close” scene where robert starts singing UGH my heart.

4) Crazy Rich Asians

this is one of those movies that i find myself rewatching a lot with my family specifically. we can quote some scenes verbatim. we just love this movie. it’s a delight.

3) Room

this is a big change in tone but i just love this movie. i stan brie larson. stream “finally out of p.e.” that album slaps. but yeah it’s just heartbreaking and it’s always great on the rewatch and jacob tremblay is so good and so is brie larson and i just love it. it hurts me but in the best way possible.

2) Free Guy

i can’t articulate how much i love this movie. ryan reynolds. jodie corner. joe keery. the guy who plays rajit in basmati blues. it’s so funny and it’s one that i will never get sick of and it just brings me so much joy.

1) I Kissed A Vampire

this movie is awful. it’s terrible. it’s near unwatchable. but it is my Favorite Movie. i know so much of it by heart. i know the choreography. i know every lyric of every song. i bought the deluxe album on apple music. i’ve watched it with every person who lets me subject them to this awful movie. i’ve had friendships threatened because of this movie. i know way too much about this movie and the actors in it. i’ve seen the original web series just as much. if you haven’t watched the movie and love bad movies, watch it. it’s got drew seeley as an angsty vampire who is SO politically incorrect named trey sylvania. it’s got lucas grabeel (ryan from high school musical) as the lead. and it’s got the 17 year old daughter of the producer playing the main female love interest and her performace is absolutely grueling and i love her so much. apparently she works with snakes now??? go you queen.

@carronyaflowers @queenofmoons @davidalleynethinksfast @acroreader @sunflowerteaofficial @shipskicksandgiggles @jack-the-bear @joyful-soul-collector @gayrudeboys @genderenvyincarnate

[prongsmydeer]

Ayesha Liveblogs Business Proposal S1

“Can you believe this ad? You can hardly tell what product they’re promoting.” As much as I am immediately wary of businessmen, I also do sometimes feel this emotion LOL if I have to sit through an ad I’d like to know what it’s for

I don’t yet know Fish Girl but I like her. It was the ponytail and labcoat moment. What can I say, I am easy

President Kang Tae-moo immediately putting poor Sung-hoon in the line of fire to be attacked with a cane by his grandfather

I love how comically evil Park Bribery Incorporated is. They cackle into the night over a box of money in a golf course 

I have not yet seen Min-woo but if these cutaway animations are any indication I think I will adore him:

“You think you’re the only smart one in the world.” said Tae-moo’s grandfather. “You’re just realizing that now?” replied Tae-moo, in what I’m sure isn’t foreshadowing of him immediately doing something stupid ASAP

You know, I think I like Grandpa Kang, he’s funny 

TKJHKJTHKJGHKJG. Min-woo. Who invites someone to a restaurant on their birthday when u are making a cake for SOMEONE ELSE’S BIRTHDAY. I feel like the cake mishap is kinda on you

“And even if I liked men, President Kang really isn’t my style.” 1) I love you Sung-hoon, 2) This is a very bisexual way to respond to this question why do u know ur type LMAO

Subpoint to this: I think Grandpa Kang would be chill if Tae-moo and Sung-hoon were dating. He’d be like, “Great! Marry him. This saves time for all of us.”

Poor Ha-ri, I feel u on the family that rarely puts in effort on ur birthday 

Omg is this ‘I need 800,000 won’ neighbour conflict the reason for what I assume will be a fake relationship between Ha-ri and Tae-moo?? Feels a little imbalanced, I hope it has Ouran High School Host Club energy LMAO 

Young-seo might be the sugar mama in this situation bc she’s paying Ha-ri to go on a blind date in her stead? I feel better about that LMAO

All the little cutaways and special effects in this show are very fun, there is no real reason why Young-seo needs to magically throw outfits onto Ha-ri like she’s Kirby after a power-up, but they decided to add it in anyway and I think that’s very powerful of them

For a guy so meticulous as Tae-moo, you’d think he’d google his dates

LMAO I love how convoluted this scheme has already gotten 30 minutes into the show. Why did Ha-ri not just run away after going to the bathroom. She did not need to come back to the table

Come to think of it. If she wanted to end it with a goodbye. She could’ve just faked a family emergency 

“The one on the left is Samantha and the one on the right is Rachel.” KJHJKGHGKJH THERE WERE SO MANY WAYS TO END THIS DATE ALTERNATIVE TO ‘UR MAKING MY TIDDIES SAD’

I love how many creative options Ha-ri has for getting rid of men though. This must be a pastime for her. Or she’s very quick on her feet. Either way, admirable 

Also. I don’t know if this is a cultural difference but like. What makes u think offering to have sex with a man will get rid of him. Have you met a cishet man

I assume, however, in Tae-moo’s case because he’s Mr. Smarty Trousers, he can tell she doesn’t want to be on the date and he’s gonna proposition fake dating, not knowing she’s not Young-seo

Oh my god. HE DOESN’T KNOW. And I think he secretly liked the date. THAT’S SO FUNNY

“To partners in crime?” “I’m so proud of you.” Ha-ri and Young-seo’s dynamic is perfect. No comments

I want Sung-hoon to find love. I know it’s early to suggest a throuple, but I think he should be in a throuple with Tae-moo and Ha-ri. Bye (bi).

“A regular employee will never run into the President at work,” said Young-seo, in what I assume is again immediate foreshadowing of Ha-ri running into Tae-moo at work 

HA:

LMAO at Tae-moo looking RIGHT AT a picture of Ha-ri and not noticing it’s the same woman he declared he was going to marry just bc she’s wearing glasses and has her hair up. Is he faceblind or does Ha-ri have Clark Kent Syndrome?

“With my face, body, impeccable manners and flawless personality, why would she say no?” Tae-moo said: I got self-esteem baybee <3 

“This goes for you too. Why don’t you get a girlfriend?” Awwww grandpa said I will hassle my honorary grandson Sung-hoon about his relationships too, equal opportunity meddling >:)

It didn’t take Sung-hoon long to find love I guess LOL

“We’re going to get married, so I should know all of your numbers.” JHGKHJGKH Tae-moo ur insane

Well, when Tae-moo decides he’s gonna do something, he commits

Ha-ri is also insane. WHO JUST JUMPS INTO RANDOM CARS!! THAT’S HOW U GET KIDNAPPED

“How do I look like [feathered bird-like dinosaur]?” “Just the overall vibe, especially the nose.” HAHAHAH SUNG-HOON COMING IN FOR THE KILL CASUALLY

Hahahaha this drunken scene has only reinforced my love for both Young-seo and Ha-ri

“Stop saying ‘female employees.’ They’re just employees. Don’t you know that’s sexist? And what, climb up the ladder? The only thing that’s climb is my blood pressure. So stop it, and get those invoices submitted.” I love Ha-ri’s boss Ms. Yeo

Maybe it says something about your personality that you think people would be interested in throwing shoes at your face, Tae-moo?????

WHY ARE YOU CHASING HER. THIS IS SO STUPID. However I love the immediate payoff of mentioning in the previous scene that he was a track and field star hahahahah

It’s a little incongruent with the whole façade of being this v pragmatic president to be chasing an employee wildly through the hallways. But it’s funny so I’ll give it to them

Also. Put your hair up and put on some glasses. He’ll never find you

I wasn’t expecting Tae-moo to actually catch up to her. But I like that every time he meets her in any capacity he’s like, ‘She’s bananas but honest and hardworking. <3 Delightful <3′

Bold of Tae-moo to describe Ha-ri as “the woman he almost married” when she flat-out rejected him and told him looked like a dinosaur

I love how Tae-moo invites himself into Sung-hoon’s apartment and cooks and cleans. Domestic. Maybe they are dating a little

With the added factor of the wig to the outfits and makeup, I guess it’s more of a Hannah Montana situation 

Gfjggfkjhgkjgh Young-seo really did just throw her friend to the wolves LOL

Tae-moo having a personal vendetta against Ha-ri the Fake Young-seo over being called a dinosaur. At least he’s consistent in his petty ego HAAHAHAH

Kang is calling Ha-ri in the middle of the night just because he got mad while watching a dinosaur documentary. Extremely unhinged. I love this for them

Tae-moo must love his grandfather a lot to go on ten blind dates in a row 

HAHAHAHAHAHA WE FINALLY ARRIVE AT THE FAKE DATING PLOT I UNDERSTOOD TO BE THE PREMISE OF THIS SHOW:

“You should thank Mr. Cha. He’s the reason we made up and got back together.” [Tae-moo blinking desperately at Sung-hoon for back-up.] “Yes sir. I tried very hard.” Sung-hoon proving he’s a ride or die homie

Fjfhkfhkfjhkf feels mean-spirited of Tae-moo to put tons of money on the line for someone he knows to be struggling. His motto is truly mansplain, manipulate, malewife

“Rich people are people too.” Grandpa Kang reinforcing to us all that rich people are tone deaf always 

Ohhh my god Ha-min walking in on Ha-ri and Tae-moo accidentally kissing jhgkjhgkg her brother doesn’t know what’s on the horizon

Why are they just chilling, lip to lip? PULL AWAY U DOOFS

Tae-moo fully blackmailed her into being his fake date. Like don’t get me wrong, if I look at other fake dating shows, they’ve also been a little bananas, but it’s worse here cause of the money thing. Eat the rich 

Also: If she signed that contract with her fake name it cannot possibly be legally binding LMAO

Silver lining: Tae-moo catching Ha-ri as she falls asleep and then tossing her at the car window bc he felt an emotion was very funny

“I won’t stop you from living on your own. But leave my credit card behind.” I guess Young-seo is going to have to get another job because only one couple in this show can pay each other to be in a relationship

“What kind of show makes the characters get together after just one kiss?” Enjoying the recurring background plot of their lives being followed exactly by what’s happening on TV

Excited and dreading seeing the Min-woo storyline and Ha-ri’s double life as Geum-hui the Fake Girlfriend collide 

Unclear if Young-seo gets to keep her job at her dad’s company?? But was absolutely certain this would be Sung-hoon’s apartment building so called that one LOL

Awwww poor Ha-ri finding out Min-woo is still in love with his ex. It’s sad girl hours 

Tae-moo pretending he didn’t hear her sobbing on the phone ahhhhh

Also. Girl. How did u get ur phone out of the gutter lmao

“Not her. Her.” Hahahaha Grandpa Kang realizing that Tae-moo likes flashy girls

“On top of that, you know that Tae-moo hates the rain? It was raining that day, and he still came.” I’m going to take Tae-moo’s stricken expression as evidence his parents were killed in the rain and so he has been planning to become Bitchy Batman ever since 

Fhfjkhfkfhkjfh Ha-ri truly drops her bag and belongings everywhere. Realistic. Subscribed. 

I feel solidarity with Sung-hoon and Young-seo over their mutual hatred of bugs

“You put Mr. Kang in a difficult position by sending somebody else on the blind date to fill in for you. So I just don’t think it would be right for me to get to know you personally.” Wow. Sung-hoon IS ride or die

This is the chillest concert I have ever seen. Seems more like a recital than a concert. This is smaller than my high school auditorium 

Min-woo said, unhelpfully: Just in case my comments get selected, I wanted to inform both the band and the audience that Ha-ri is single. <3 Please help this lonely woman <3 

“I don’t regret [falling for Min-woo], though. I was really happy for those seven years.” This is one of the most romantic things this show has said and it’s not even about the main couple LOL

There is something to this whole forced proximity thing like these two coming to understand each other’s sensitive spots a bit more... that’s very sweet

Tae-moo heard what I said about Min-woo and immediately took it as a challenge to be more romantic:

Why does Min-woo look so aghast? Is it bc Ha-ri no longer looks at him with love in her eyes kjghkghgkh

Between the ringtone and Min-woo and the eye bruise, Tae-moo is really having a lot of puzzle pieces thrown together in quick succession. Will his supposed high intellect piece together the truth about Ha-ri Montana? Tune in next episode

“We met when we were 20, so we’ve known each other for 7 years now.” “And you’ve been just friends this whole time?” That’s an inappropriate question to ask, Tae-moo kgjhkjghgjkg

Me: Maybe he’s connected the dots

The show: He didn’t connect shit

Gjlgkghgkjh the fact that Tae-moo and Sung-hoon have been besties literally since they were kids makes the fact they address each other so formally so funny. Imagine if in Boy Meets World, Cory called Shawn, “Mr. Hunter,” that’s the equivalent scenario

Weel weel weel, the ‘accidentally got us roped into a date’ shoe is on the other foot now, isn’t it Tae-moo and Sung-hoon Who Put Fake Anniversaries in their Calendars

Dfhkjghkghkgh Tae-moo counting the rings after Ha-ri missed his call bc he’s cool and chill and not catching feelings

Lmao @ Ha-ri making the absolute worst possible impression on Grandpa Kang while Tae-moo continues to look at every iteration of Ha-ri (both as herself and as Geum-hui) and go: <3 <3 <3 <3

Omgggggggggg they’re giving each other anniversary presents in the form of bruise ointment and fried chicken. I love this <3 

I’m not saying much bc I’m too enthralled in the anniversary date but I am convinced this Young-seo furniture designer neighbour is a stalker 

There was immediate payoff to this comment bc he is now delivering furniture to her unsolicited. Also gjkhkgjh at Sung-hoon becoming suspicious about this guy’s glasses bc he can tell time. He could just have a low prescription or wear them for fashion. Not everyone who wears glasses with relatively good vision is a liar and weirdo. (But this guy definitely is).

We cut back to Tae-moo falling wholeass in love:

Of the two, I don’t know that I was expecting Tae-moo to be the one who wears his heart on his sleeve but every single second of this date he is showing he cares and Ha-ri is internally going [Gabrielle Aplin voice] Please don’t say you love me 

It took him four full episodes and numerous occasions to look at her but Tae-moo has finally connected the dots about Ha-ri Montana by seeing her ID and seeing her chilling outside her house picking up his call

Tae-moo, stupid as hell: I cannot believe she fooled me twice

“She’s going to keep lying to me?” YOU BLACKMAILED HER INTO FAKE DATING U AND YOU’RE HER BOSS OF COURSE SHE’D LIE TO U, WHAT’S WRONG WITH U TAE-MOO

“I’m going to take my time to make her realize just how big of a mistake she’s made.” HEY! TAE-MOO! YOU LITERALLY MADE HER DATE YOU. UR JUST MAD CAUSE UR IN LOVE WITH HER. STOP BEING SO WEIRD AND MEAN

What Tae-moo did not account for in this stupid Ravioli Repetition Revenge is that if he looks directly at her he falls to pieces because he is in love with her. A problem of his own making 

Even if Min-woo and Ha-ri WERE dating it would be none of ur business bc ur her boss and fake boyfriend, Tae-moo. Get a grip, my love 

If he hates lying so much why is he forcing her to lie more by constantly putting her in positions that put her job at risk? EAT THE RICH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If Sung-hoon isn’t saying it, I will. YOU ARE IN THE WRONG!!!!

I fucking knew furniture guy was a stalker. Gross. Hate it. Unnecessary

Also kind of bad vibes that he would give her an award for her work and use it to trap her. Eat the rich x3

“Why are they doing this? They never invited our family members before this.” It’s because your fake boyfriend is coocoo bananas 

You know. If I saw my family dressed in a wig and heavy makeup trying to hide from eyeline. I’d let it go. None of my business 

Hard to tell how much of that was a dream sequence lmao

“Why am I worried about that woman?” [Grandpa, through narration] “Look at him. It’s because he likes her.” I hope Grandpa Kang mockingly narrates Tae-moo for the rest of the show

Tae-moo 🤝 Young-seo 

Expressing their romantic feelings by being as annoying as possible

“I’m Shin Ha-ri. Shin Ha-ri is Shin Geum-hui.” It took Ha-ri one (1) drunken admission and mumbled apology for her to stop every cog in Tae-moo’s unhinged little brain all at once:

“There’s no way I have feelings for Shin Ha-ri,” said Tae-moo, after searching all night for her to make sure she got home safe, releasing her from his ridiculous contract to make her life easier, and literally fleeing the country so he did not have to keep looking at her

The English switches always take me off-guard but what’s most funny about this New York scene is that Tae-moo quite obviously has more of an American accent to his English than either of the white people (who are presumably Korean by nationality) do 

“Are you sorry for being so petty and messing with me because it hurt your pride when I’m not even interested in you?” I love a good romantic hallucination that calls you out for your mistakes LMAO

Well. Furniture stalker finally had his reveal. Yikes. I hope she is able to press charges

Sung-hoon took this opportunity to say: Tae-moo is not the only Business Boy who did track and field! WATCH ME RUNNNNN and catch this creep 

Time for Tae-moo to prove that this ride or die relationship with Sung-hoon is reciprocal!! Go get your boy

“You’ve managed to make this far without getting caught. But unfortunately, you ran into me.” Tae-moo has been waiting his whole life for this Feminist Batman moment 

“Well, who wouldn’t be upset in a situation like this?” said Tae-moo. “Yeah!” replied Sung-hoon, which, while true, is also definitely a product of the fact this secret perv footage thing happened to two women they have feelings for

“Didn’t you hear me? I’ve developed feelings for Ms. Shin.” Surprisingly self-aware for Tae-moo, what a quick turnaround 

I really appreciate how the show emphasized how stupid Tae-moo is for wanting to confess his feelings and ask her out without at all considering that she is and has been his employee this entire time 

I can’t wait to see Tae-moo start to try to be a normal person. Also I guess they’re finally going to start addressing all the loose threads around Min-woo

Min-woo, if you are in love with Ha-ri, as your sad faces when she mentions dating imply, WHY ARE YOU NOT DATING HER

Tae-moo asking to meet Ha-ri outside of work bc he likes her is a blatant misuse of authority but I’ll allow it because I think it’s going to be cute

But honestly, and I hate to say it: Same energy as that guy at my uni who said he was going to hold a debate club meeting but only invited one of the club members so he could trick her into a date. Cishet men do be like this

As much as I really dislike the plotline, I appreciate that they are addressing the actual trauma that Young-seo would experience after being the victim of sex crime 

LOL @ Ha-ri’s coworkers immediately showing up at this theatre. Love that we’ve progressed from fake dating to secret dating

Tae-moo missing the whole event is Karmic Justice both for the False Pretenses Date and for being so snippy with Ha-ri about leading a double life earlier. THE CRAWLING OUT OF A SPACE TO GO UNNOTICED BY COLLEAGUES IS ON THE OTHER FOOT

Sung-hoon proving chivalry is not dead by ramming against the broken bathroom door so Young-seo could pee

“What excuse should I use to call her next?” HOW ABOUT U TALK TO HER LIKE A PERSON TAE-MOO U WEIRDO

“Come to your senses. You’re here for work!” said Ha-ri, proving she was the only one in this relationship who had any concept of work-life separation lmao

“She would be very touched if you told her that you called me here.” “It would be tasteless if I bragged about it.” Awwww if Tae-moo just uses all of these “work meetings” to do very sweet things for Ha-ri in secret just to make her happy then I will forgive him for 63% of his craziness 

Turns out even Sung-hoon has limits to his chivalry:

Tae-moo ending the simultaneous double date by having a rain-induced panic attack and abandoning his lover on the road

Let it never be said that Tae-moo doesn’t double down on his shenanigan's. Immediately after finding her again he decided to volunteer as her fake boyfriend even though he is her real boss and their last conversation was him demanding she get out of the car in the rain, at an isolated bus stop, at night. Perhaps peak unhinged for Tae-moo

It’s definitely peak unhinged. Tae-moo must never have been in a relationship in his life he is acting like he is OBSESSED with Ha-ri it’s a bit much

Also. Announcing he is the President with NO regard for the position that puts her in as someone who 1) has received an award in his name and 2) is an employee that people may look down on for supposedly sleeping her way upwards. #JustRichManThings

You know. I’m pretty sure they didn’t actually have sex but. This broken heart is on Sung-hoon for not thinking about how someone who has recently been victimized would respond to waking up in a strange apartment with hazy memories

Min-woo really wants to have his Yu-ra and emotional affair with Ha-ri too like I know why Tae-moo is being So Much (it’s a character flaw) but your girlfriend is literally right there!!! Chill out or break-up

We’re finally getting Sung-hoon’s perspective about how all of this has been going down:

How many sad businessmen does it take to change a lightbulb

Also is the implication that Young-seo and Sung-hoon DID have sex while she was drunk because if so. Eughhhhhh don’t like that

Falling in love has really tanked Tae-moo’s ability to take a meeting lmao every single one he cancels or spends the whole time thinking about Ha-ri

“If you reject me, I’ll ask you out again and again. Until you finally like me back. So you need to brace yourself.” This is not a flex it is a red flag something that should be documented in case u need to file a restraining order 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Ha-ri said: Red is my favourite colour, how romantic 🌹

I’m sure the decision to makeout at a work event with a filming crew around will not immediately blow up in their faces:

Tae-moo to Sung-hoon after being kissed one (1) time: I now believe in love so take some vacation time bestie <3

“Are my lips some kind of column for you to crash into?” Tae-moo said: IT’S DTR TIME HA-RI

Hahahaha the more fun kind of blackmail where Tae-moo only makes Ha-ri go to activities he knows she’ll enjoy

I cannot BELIEVE that Tae-moo is playing River Flows in You lmao. What in the Twilight soundtrack

“There may be some things I don’t do, but there’s nothing I can’t do.” 1) Love this mentality for Young-seo 2) I anticipate her food being terrible lmao

Tae-moo said: The way to a woman’s heart is telling her she has to have fun with you forever in penance for her kissing crimes

What both Sung-hoon and Tae-moo are demonstrating with the hiking and bumper cars is that their love language is quality time/including their lover in their interests

I’m sure as pay-off for Young-seo trashtalking Tae-moo, he will be the one to get them out of this dangerous mountain excursion

LMAO finally Tae-moo’s exploitative contract has come back to bite him in the ass also Min-woo why the FUCK are you rifling through Ha-ri’s drawers get some help dude

“If you don’t have the money, pay it back with a kiss.” Min-woo must be reading this as some version of escorting vs. what it actually is, which is Ha-ri and Tae-moo’s fucked up little version of foreplay

Ha-ri playing dodgeball with a broken wrist to win a date with a man already in love with her while Tae-moo is being forced into yet another date. Both sides of this relationship aren’t doing well atm

Hoo boy on Sung-hoon going on a “date” with Young-seo’s cousin

“I’ll pay you back for that kiss with a kiss.” They decided to be emotionally forthright and then made out on a bridge. Good for them

They’re hitting their relationship’s honeymoon phase, I think:

Young-seo’s Yikes Cousin Yu-jeong announcing she’s dating someone as if Sung-Hoon hadn’t full ass told her had a girlfriend and wasn’t interested in dating her. I knew this subplot would happen but it’s still annoying to watch 

God. Young-seo inadvertently encouraging her cousin to go after her boyfriend. What a mess

“And I also think it’s about time we got married.” Yu-ra and Min-woo BOTH seem to know he’s in love with Ha-ri at this point I don’t know why they don’t just break up

Also Min-woo has had SEVEN YEARS to act on his feelings. Was he concerned about losing a friend? It’ll certainly be hard to maintain his friendships if he two-times them, emotionally or physically

LMAO @ SUNG-HOON AND TAE-MOO BOTH COWERING BEHIND EACH OTHER IN THIS SCENE BUT FOR DIFFERENT REASONS:

[Text message sent to group chat] “You’re being harsh, babe. Do you think I copied it? You made me look bad in front of Ms. Kim.” Ongoing subplot that I have yet to mention: Mr. Gye and Ms. Yeo, the two older/supervisory members of Ha-ri’s team, have been background dating for like a few eps also in a semi-secret way and now that’s finally coming up as well

No one in this company cares about office power dynamics LOL

Kay I had to stop watching for a few days because this scene of Grandpa Kang YET AGAIN finding Ha-ri locked in the bathroom was too much for me but we back

“But why is a woman in the men’s bathroom?” “She must be in here by mistake. If you do this, she’ll be too embarrassed to come out. You should go to another bathroom.” This is the most rational thing Tae-moo has said over the course of this whole show and he says it with unbridled panic bc he KNOWS his girlfriend is in that stall lmao

There was absolutely no reason for Grandpa Kang to insist she be the one to come out. If I were here I would stonewall him. Bathroom filibuster. I’m never fucking leaving

I love how Tae-moo has only half a brain cell and chooses to think with his heart. What possible rationale does he have for crashing the Food Research Team Dinner LOL

“I love bomb shots.” HAHAHAH Tae-moo looks so happy and relaxed. He’s like ‘See, baby, I fit in!’ hahahaha

In other updates, Sung-hoon tried to introduce Young-seo to his nun mother and, predictably, Cousin Yu-jeong brought the whole event to a crashing halt 

“Do you know what’s most infuriating? It’s how you ignored me and blindly did as Kang Tae-moo said. Are you that family’s servant?” There are a couple of flaws with this, despite the fact that Sung-hoon is clearly in the wrong for lying. 1) Tae-moo is like family to him, so of course he wants to help him out and 2) He does work for them, so yeah, there are blurred lines and 3) He’s known Tae-moo for like.... his whole life. You’ve known each other for what, a few months? Romantic love or no, of course he protects the more established bond. All of this can be summarized by “bros over hoes,” but I digress

“I want to be loved by the person you love the most too.” Ha-ri is SO GOOD at romance. I am also a little in love with her, Tae-moo

GJfigjjfdhkjghkgh loving Ms. Kim catching Ha-ri and Tae-moo covert holding hands LOL

I also appreciate Tae-moo’s hair arc. The lovey-dovey messy bangs are doing a lot for me

[Forced laughter] “I should get going too.” “Yes, it’s late, so you should.” “Yes, goodbye!” [Continued forced laughter on exit] For two people who have been deceiving Grandpa Kang for nine episodes, Tae-moo and Ha-ri act like they’ve never told a lie in their lives

“I’ll introduce her to you soon.” I really look forward to Tae-moo and Ha-ri trying to explain even HALF of what the fuck they’ve been up to together 

The friendships in this show really are delightful:

Awwww Sung-hoon and Tae-moo orphanage backstory is getting me. Young-seo bonding with nun mum. Their little brothers and sister there. Call me sentimental but I love a cliché

Side note: It’s really drawing my attention that Sung-hoon isn’t wearing his glasses. Wasn’t that his entire reason for suspecting the Furniture Stalker that he could see without glasses? What, you’re the only man in this city who can wear contacts? 

“One day, we’ll be able to tell each other about these things. Once we get closer with time.” YOUNG-SEO COMING IN WITH THE ROMANCEEEEEE. The women of this show have wooed me

Tae-moo’s “Thank you for accepting my feelings,” and “When you feel ready, let’s tell him,” are also up there in what has been a very swoon-worthy episode so far

Insane that while Ha-min has embezzled chicken funds and disappeared now the two couples are just having a double date running the restaurant LMAO

Tae-moo and Young-seo are finally bridging the divide between them LOL that’s growth 

[Ha-ri, laughing] “Of course I don’t want to watch [Tae-moo changing his clothes]. Go to Ha-min’s room--” [Tae-moo, sincerely] “No, I’ll show you.” TAE-MOO PLS

HAHAHAHA I culturally relate to being a grownass woman who outright refuses to explain her dating life to her relatives. Western TV could never LMAO

Tae-moo is SO happy to be in Ha-ri’s room. He’s living his dream

“He’s very kind and gentle,” said Sung-hoon to Ha-ri’s parents, as if Tae-moo had not tricked their daughter into signing a contract to fake date him with untenable financial penalties and then subsequently tried to punish her for being dishonest with him mere episodes ago

It makes me laugh that Ha-ri is still calling her boyfriend “President Kang” even as he is hiding in her cupboards 

The physical comedy of Sung-hoon, Young-seo and Ha-ri trying to sneak Tae-moo out is killing me

The Boyfriend Boss is out of the bag for brother. Bet you can’t say that five times fast

“Go buy yourself some clothes, brother-in-law.” HAHAHA Tae-moo has one act of service in his love language repertoire and it’s giving people money

Also his smile at being called brother-in-law was VERY CUTE

Lmao @ Tae-moo’s instinct when Sung-hoon is drunk crying about his girlfriend being to film it for future blackmail. He really did say mansplain, manipulate, malewife

Young-seo’s dad can mind his own damn business. Firstly, Sung-hoon is a key role in the company and presumably is quite rich himself by merit of that. Secondly, she doesn’t live with you!! You leave her be, Scrooge McFuck 

“Can you please get out of Min-woo’s life?” We circle back to Min-woo whenever people are feeling too happy

They really wanted Yu-ra to have no redeeming qualities. That she dated him initially out of spite, cheated on him, and then is blaming Ha-ri for the fact Min-woo doesn’t feel the same about her? You should maybe get some therapy Yu-ra

“Now that I’ve seen how you act, I can understand why Yu-ra’s acting that way.” I MEAN. I FEEL LIKE THEY’RE BOTH BAD PARTNERS, HA-RI

WAHHHHHHHHHH Tae-moo being able to focus on Ha-ri instead of his rain-induced panic attack :’)))))))))))) They’re working through it together ahhhhhhhhh

The callback to the rainy day story she made-up when they were fake dating. STOPPPPPPPPPPP

The way she makes sure to distract him from the rain by going into the flower shop to delay going outside or sitting beside him and rambling about work when the rain gets heavy. I love Ha-ri. I can’t handle it, it’s too sweet 

The way that they brought back the campy little animations to crumble the bouquet in Ha-ri’s hands. I knew this was coming. Damn u Second to Last Episodes of Asian Dramas 

“Stop seeing Tae-moo. I don’t think you want to be in a situation that other people may misinterpret.” Honestly. Even if you interpreted it correctly, I don’t think it would leave you with the best impression

Tae-moo said: If I cannot be with Ha-ri, I will waste away inside the Go Food building like Businessman Midas with only his Golden Kimchi Ravioli for company

I wasn’t expecting Tae-moo’s Batman origin story to affect me as much as it did, but Tae-moo and Ha-ri crying together while acknowledging that the accident was not Tae-moo’s fault really got me

Yu-ra REALLY needs some therapy. What the fuck. Ha-ri has been decent ALL THE WAY THROUGH and she just decides to make up shit for the whole internet to see about this fake love triangle!!! HA-RI HAS CLEARLY SHOWN THAT MIN-WOO HAS MISSED HIS CHANCE

Well. At least Tae-moo will be confronted with the inevitable implosion that follows all of his unhinged dating-his-employee antics. It’s really a lesson to be learned 

“I won’t tell him, for Sung-hoon’s sake.” Cousin Yu-jeong does not believe in bros over hoes (or sisters over misters)

“Let’s not talk badly about something we know nothing about. Also, Ms. Shin is way prettier than you.” Mr. Gye said Team 1 is Ha-ri Support Squad no matter how rough our work situation is <3 

Young-seo spent her month’s salary on preventing Ha-ri’s parents from hearing about the rumours. Great friends all around <3 

Meanwhile, Tae-moo and Sung-hoon have circled back to people thinking THEY’RE in a relationship. I think Tae-moo should be allowed to be mean if he does it by flirting with Sung-hoon. It tickles me:

I cannot BELIEVE that 1) Tae-moo continues to be short-sighted about how this affects Ha-ri’s career and 2) He was gonna propose by payphone. Not even half a braincell on this day, my love

“But once people find out you’re dating, do you think she’ll be able to come to work? The employees will gossip about it. You might be fine, but she’s just an employee.” UNBELIEVABLE. GRANDPA KANG HAS TO SPELL IT OUT FOR HIM!! TAE-MOO!! STEP OUTSIDE OF YOUR OWN EXPERIENCES

The other shoe finally dropped on Tae-moo being in the loop about their supposed scandal. But I love that he’s doubled down on defending Ha-ri and didn’t believe for a second the rumour that she had two-timed him 

“There he comes! The handsome young owner!” “You must’ve been mistaken. That’s my daughter’s coworker.” HAHAHAHAH I fullass forgot that Tae-moo already met Ha-ri’s parents under the fake name of Mr. Gye. Oh my god 

“If love is a crime, then yes, I’m a criminal. But resign? I can’t resign, sir!!” HAHAHA GRANDPA KANG DESERVES HAVING TO JUGGLE THESE BATSHIT TWENTYSOMETHINGS 

“I’ll explain everything later! Mother and Father.” HAHAHAHAHA I KNEW HA-RI’S PARENTS WERE GONNA BE LIKE ‘WHAT THE HELL AREN’T YOU 40?!’ BUT IT’S STILL FUNNY

Point of clarification if for some reason you’ve gotten this far in the liveblog and haven’t seen the show: Tae-moo’s not 40. He merely cosplays as 40something-year-old in his spare time

“I know how stubborn and arrogant I’ve been. But I don’t want to be on bad terms with my only daughter anymore.” Well damn, an unexpected turnaround from Young-seo’s dad

Everyone on this show is coocoo bananas. Ha-ri and Tae-moo at least have the reasoning of wanting to protect each other from rumours/scandal and having been fake dating prior to their real dating. You two have only been together a month. What’s your excuse for getting married!!!!!

I say this. And Tae-moo proposed to Ha-ri after one (1) date without even knowing her real name. So. We arrive again at coocoo bananas

Ha-ri coming down the N Seoul Tower while Tae-moo goes up so they meet halfway is poetic cinema 

Thank you for ending this episode much more kindly than it started:

Well, Young-seo’s dad’s turnaround lasted all of 10 minutes, I guess

HAHAHAHA @ Ha-ri and Tae-moo immediately getting caught on their walk of shame 

“Ha-ri is the first woman I’ve met who is a joy to be around and always makes me laugh.” Tae-moo <3

Loving everyone finally being able to hang out honestly ahhhh <3 

Also Tae-moo constantly telling people he fell in love at first sight while we as the audience know that Ha-ri spent that time trying to get rid of him and anthropomorphizing her tiddies which go by the name of Samantha and Rachel. LOL

“You were with Ms. Shin or whatever, right?” Power move for Grandpa Kang to call Ha-ri this as if you had not met her at length a number of times lmao

“Ha-ri, when I get back from my trip, do you think we could go back to being close friends like before?” Min-woo said when the going gets tough, the tough sell their restaurant and go to Europe

“Do you think you can you do anything without the privilege that my name has given you?” “Actually, I think I can. I’ll prove it to you. That I’ll be just fine, without using your name.” <3 <3 <3 Young-seo, love of my life 

Ghkjghkghkgh Ha-ri being defensive about just having regular work conversations with Tae-moo while Tae-moo is like ‘where have we landed on cuddling in the stairwell?’

It’s clear that Tae-moo’s penchant for theatre is an inherited trait considering Grandpa Kang’s hospital antics 

Young-seo immediately sharing her emotions about cutting ties with her dad and Sung-hoon offering to invest in Young-seo’s start-up!! The communication has improved leaps and bounds 

“Wait, isn’t she supposed to be taking care of me? Where is she?” Hahahaha Ha-ri has won over Grandpa Kang in one (1) hospital visit. They are now doing a sing-a-long to music shows 

I like that they’ve found an opportunity to drop her K-Pop history into this show LOL

“You’ve always been like a mountain to us. So please be healthy and stay that way, Grandfather.” “Being sick is kind of nice. I never thought I would hear you call me that.” SUNG-HOON <33333333333333

I thought this episode was going suspiciously well so it’s fitting that we’ve arrived at the Long Distance Parting at the Playground

I am generally not for time-skips if used to change character motives but I am ABSOLUTELY for time-skips if they are to show everyone getting advancement in their career goals and romantic endeavours and generally softening over time. I can’t wait to see all the married couples and reunion

“What if they get a divorce?” AHA, MS. YEO IS NOW MRS. GYE

Love that Sung-hoon’s ultimate form is househusband. Good for him

The campy little animations make their final triumphant return via taxi sign:

Title reference (affectionate): Young-seo = Business, Tae-moo = Proposal 

#ayesha says things #ayesha liveblogs business proposal #liveblogging #television #korean television #business proposal #long post