#if it sounds like i ever am

[danggerine]

going insane thinking about the harrow and palamedes friendship. harrow, who has never met another necromancer her age forming a bizarro 3D chess rivalry while pal worries about her safety at every possible turn. harrow, who is up to her eyebrows in paranoia and secrecy, trusting the sixth house with gideon unconscious and hurt, letting them into the ninth house quarters unsupervised. if “i cannot conceive of a universe without you in it” is goth for i love you, “death first to vultures and scavengers” has got to be goth for i love you (platonic). pal’s first reaction when harrow comes into his bubble in the river is to scoop her up in a hug, and at this point she doesn’t remember anything about him because cutting out all her memories of gideon is impossible without cutting out memories of the sixth, but she still makes him a skelehand to inhabit anyway. when harrow’s memories are finally whole, she tells dulcinea she couldn’t face pal knowing that his pen pal girlfriend died on her account, but the next time she “faces” him, palamades’s soul is in someone else’s body and harrow’s body is full of nona’s soul. he spends six months protecting and caring for harrow’s body (and nona obv), believing in the possibility of bringing her back to it the same way cam believed in him. “god, do you know i miss harrow terribly.” and by the time harrow comes back to her body at the very end of ntn, pal is gone forever, fully pauled. the last time harrow and palamades see each other as their complete selves is in canaan house, alive and unlyctored. two of the smartest and loneliest people in the solar system meet each other in the worst of circumstances and spend the rest of the story dancing around each other as fragments of themselves, trying to care about each other in the interim but never fully meeting like they did the first time. a friendship made almost entirely of missing the other person. “do you know i miss harrow terribly.” god. i need to lie down

#behold: a block of text i do not feel like putting paragraph breaks in #i am so fucking crushed that they try so hard to take care of each other in different ways but never see each other ever again #he gave her a lift you off the floor hug in the bubble and she didnt even know why. #the thing that made him miss harrow was ‘look at me like you’ve worked out how to kill me’ bc he knows scowling is her display of affection #she couldn’t even REMEMBER him in htn but she helped camilla find his soul and put him back together anyway #is this anything. am i sounding as insane as i feel #tlt #harrowhark nonagesimus #palamedes sextus #katie don’t look #ntn spoilers #htn spoilers #gtn spoilers

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag #writeblr #it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal #fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho) #healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy #im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage.... #1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind #and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes #2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception'' #3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.'' #idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh #im sure there are people who have this experience normally #but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists #when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band'' #edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful #once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large #but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry. #but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes #but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally. #i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes #people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism #but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet . #i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY #and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound. #but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in #i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too. #here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change #was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort) #choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL

[tubbytarchia]

Missed drawing these two too

Bonuses

#rendoc #still thinking about them a lot #always #hermitshipping #sorry for the weird empty area in the first one. It was my attempt to make it take up less of people's timelines #this art is so embarrassing lol but man I like when Doc's drawn as a big goat man I have no defense I plead the fifth #or well at least it becomes embarrassing when its. shippy #whatever Tumblr people are usually cool so here goes!! #I am 99% a fluff and hurt/comfort person. Idc how frisky these guys get in fanon all I can ever think of is fluff sorry #Also contemplated implementing Doc's accent into the dialogue but I am forever paranoid of offending someone lol #idk how to write accents etc but you guys will make it sound fine in your heads I'm sure #hermitblr #tubby art

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

(loosely) that scene from potc... its so Them i think...

#apologies for the low quality scribbles i simply couldn't be fucked!! <3<3<3 #and they're a lil funky.... i havent drawn em in a while.... #but geez. man. oof. ough #the potential of the pining + Names ouagshashjafkanvfla #THE RITUALS ARE INTRICATE #scribble salad #franklydear #welcome home #ever since finding out how they call each other by last names my brain has been Mush over that #the layers!!! the potential for development!!! #what would the transition to first-name-usage look like #i feel like they're gonna be on first name basis Before they actually refer to each other by their first names #and maybe frank will call him eddie first.... maybe.... #leaving eddie to be the one maintaining a sort of 'professional' distance #but in the process making their interactions Way more intimate and emotionally Charged than they would've been otherwise #its about the suspense... about the 'am i allowed to know what your name feels like'.... #the 'i want nothing more than to know what my name sounds like in your voice' #receiving your mail and waiting for the time he finally allows that little distance to be closed with one simple syllable #or delivering the mail and waiting for him to open both doors w/ hand & name #both an allowance and a confirmation and an answer and a promise wrapped up in one little word #Im Just Speculating & Rambling at this point #OUGH FRANKLYDEAR <3<3<3<3 #i cant wait to watch them really go Through the Horrors while falling in love #bc when nothing is real or certain what else can you cling to but each other #so abnormal about them.... #wh has opened my eyes to the inherent romanticism & pain of mail carriers #they will always come to your door but they will also always leave #and the gifts they give you are always from someone Else #all you can hope for are those Moments where your fingers brush as they hand over letters #where the only true words between you are the ones hidden away in ink and belonging to neither of you

[cometshift]

it's me and my extremely specific 'subspace saw zuka almost like a parental figure before zuka left blackrock' headcanon against the world

#phighting #phighting art #subspace phighting #zuka phighting #art #subspace #zuka #predisaster tag #though it's a very very baby subspace but you know #i have nothing to back this headcanon up by the way. other than the fact that i'm smart as fuck and right about everything ever #i could probably write a more in-depth post about them here on tumblr since there's not a strict character limit here unlike on twitter... #it would make me sound like an insane person. but i am an insane person in general so it's fine

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

Gabriel trying to entertain an iPad baby as his confidence rapidly declines - A Compilation

Not going to transcribe these as its just songs being "sung" if you can call it that.

Anyway.

Chug Jug With You Audio Source

Happy Birthday Audio Source

Under the Sea Audio Source

Chug Jug (again) Audio Source

#ultrakill #gabriel ultrakill #*he pronounces the name wrong cause it was directed @ someone in chat named gabriel #alternative title was 'karaoke with gabriel' but i think its really funny that its just like. kids songs?? these are all months apart too?? #i left the laugh in just cause the timing of chat redeeming 'oh brother this guy stinks' was perfect #uh the weird bg sounds during the birthday part. it was a vineboom..... i tried my best to get rid of it lol #aka the 'when tf am i ever going to have need for these clips. whatever ill just upload em all at once' compilation #that is like. half of the clips i have. im like. when do i even post this. what do i call this #if i had the time to make dumb pics like i did that one time it'd be a lot easier to just force context onto the clips lol

[writeouswriter]

I love how ominous such basic names like "The Organization" or "The Institute" or "The Initiative" or "The Facility" or etc. are when placed in like a shady sci-fi context, like there's no reason for them to sound that suspicious, but without elaboration, it's like here is a place where they are doing things™ and I am like ooohh, because the blank state, the refusal to give you any more detail makes you think they're hiding something on purpose and leaves the darkest corner of the imagination left to fill in the rest.

#writing #writeblr #names #i want to give my shady research facilities in my stories actual names but some part of me is like #you'll never get the level of unease you get from just naming it the institute rather than the x institute or something #sci-fi #other genres i guess too but usually sci-fi #the barn in haven why is that the scariest sounding thing ever like? #you just know that thing ain't a barn #it is a barn physically outside but oh the creep factor that name gives i can't explain #the shop in firestarter? like f*ck it conjures up images of a workshop and saws building and tearing apart people for some reason #the initiative in buffy it's so nondescript and unassuming just like its soldiers living among the campus and the military power they hold #etc etc etc you know #mayhaps i am not creative enough to come up with better names also mayhaps

[kitamars]

high school joui 4 shenanigans

#deep breaths takasugi #the worst friend group you will ever know #only ones who can somehow tolerate each other #gintoki’s one worst quality is that he cannot shut the fuck up #i couldn’t stop thinking of them after watching daily lives of highschool boys and they’d get up to so much dumb shit actually #can you tell i kind of miss my high school days #i sound so old when i say that wtf im 19 #painting has been a lot of fun lately i will not lie #but also college starts like. day after tomorrow im so cooked #GINTAMA OBSESSION PLEASE GET ME THROUGH ANOTHER TERM 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 #i might draw some ginhiji stuff to accompany this later bc of course i will #i am nothing if not predictable to my audience #anyways #sakata gintoki #katsura kotarou #sakamoto tatsuma #takasugi shinsuke #joui 4 #gintama #ok bye

[theminecraftbee]

I am genuinely sitting here, clenching my fists, going “okay I am not into qsmp I know I can’t get into it because I don’t really watch that many streams anymore, which means I should not try to write a fic that would BY NECESSITY require me dig into the psyche of a qsmp character, who, may I add, the sum total of my knowledge of comes from occasional liveblogs from my mutuals and the notes of One Post”.

but listen I have a WHOLE VIRAL POST about my thing with stories about grief and. god. fic about iskall coming into sunny’s life Too Late and the two of them trying to figure out how to bond in the wake of terrible tragedy…. I picture it in my mind’s eye………

#GOD IT EVEN SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE SOMETHING I WOULD WRITE. #I shouldn’t have brought this up now I am going to wail about the fact I objectively do not know enough about sunny to characterize well #tragic… wailing. #ANYWAY IF ANYONE ELSE EVER MAKES THIS FIC PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET ME KNOW

[idk-bruh-20]

Irondad fic ideas #144

Peter Parker sounds just like Spider-Man. This is something that the students of Midtown find hilarious

Soon, Peter's getting comments in the halls like, "Hey are you that kid who sounds like Spider-Man?" "Uhhh I mean -" "Holy shit it's truuue" and, "Hey Parker, say, 'Hiya Mister Criminal'' "(sigh) Hiya Mister criminal-"

It becomes a daily bit on the school news: they put Peter in the cheapest, most ridiculous Spider-Man mask imaginable and get him to say wild stuff, whatever Midtown students can think of. Like that bit at the end of Honest Trailers.

(Peter may or may not go slightly viral saying some Stuff about the Rogue Avengers in his "Spider-Man voice." Tony may or may not nearly piss himself laughing about it when he finds out.

Spider-Man himself has yet to comment.)

#this may be crack but it's 100% realistic #don't tell me if you had a classmate whose voice sounded EXACTLY like a celebrity you wouldn't get them to say wild shit #'marcus sounds just like obama' 'omg marcus say: can we cancel homework for ever yes we can' #irondad fic ideas #irondad and spiderson #iron dad and spider son #also how long does this miscommunication last #I mean the longer the funnier obviously #does mj ensure that she is strategically placed to witness her peers when the identity reveal happens & inevitable meltdown occurs #if your answer isn't yes actually yes it is #peter parker #tony stark #spider-man #midtown students #academic decathlon #queueueueue #weekly reminder that I love you all but am too busy to be human :) #fic ideas still postponed but you can send asks if you want I just won't see them for a while #see announcements

[topaziraphale]

"Stop saying Crowley won't help Aziraphale in S3 he'd go back to him in a HEARTBEAT and nothing would stop him" I get it no one likes the idea of Crowley being bitter after what happened for a long period of time but like can we at least acknowledge that he's currently going through probably the most emotional pain in his life since falling? Can we agree that he's opened his heart entirely - something you couldn't pay him to do unless the world is literally ending and he's desperate - to Aziraphale, and got shot down? Can we understand that he did it AGAIN only to lose Aziraphale again? Not that what Aziraphale did isn't without Crowley's own shortcomings (hiding the truth of Heaven's cruelty from him) but like,,,,

The appeal here isn't Scorned Crowley Doesn't Love Aziraphale Anymore, or Never Wants To Help Him Again, the appeal here is Crowley learning enough self respect to not just walk back right to Aziraphale like nothing happened after Aziraphale has had a pattern of consistently refusing him. Going years ping-ponging between "We're not friends I don't even know him" to "That's what friends are for right?" and "We're friends, why would you even say anything?" and "Friends? We're not friends. We are an angel and a demon!"

Like I get it, Crowley is a heartbreakingly forgiving person. Of course he's gonna forgive Aziraphale, I'll be surprised if he didn't forgive him by the time he walked out the bookshop door, but gdi he could at least grant himself the luxury of being at least a little irritated for longer than however long it takes to make a globe and some books float and angrily cry out to God in his flat. But due to the change of pace and dynamic that is establishing part of the conflict for Season 3, I just really like the idea of him for ONCE prioritizing himself and being like "Okay, fine. We'll get back at it when you're ready, then," instead of just taking Aziraphale back like his words and actions meant nothing to him, when clearly they have an effect on him.

What is Aziraphale going to learn if Crowley just accepts what he did so quickly, like he always has the entire time they've been friends? Idk maybe I'm just projecting too much darkness on their dynamic but I mean, if the pattern of Aziraphale pushing Crowley away/disrespecting him one day and then being fine with his friendship the next + Crowley never stopping to be like "Hey, that's not cool, at least give me a little credit" or smth was fine all along and will continue to be fine in the future, then why, after 6,000 years of being friends and loving this demon, can Aziraphale still not accept that Crowley is just fine the way he is, and instead got excited to promote him to an angel in a heartbeat once the opportunity presented itself? You can't blame all of it on Heaven when Aziraphale has demonstrated his free will/defiance to Heaven so many times. Or, I don't know, I guess maybe we can? Maybe I'm just craving too much angst to the point where I'm letting it cloud my analysis of canon. Idk.

#derpy speaks #good omens #good omens 2 #no i dont think crowley is gonna ever hate aziraphale for what happened but he's allowed to be angry #he's allowed to be done with it all. he's allowed to be exhausted. just look at his face when he drives away. #meh. idk. but i dont know how i'll feel if crowley just INSTANTLY accepts aziraphale back in a situation involving #idk - ''hey help me stop the new apocalypse'' #at least. without like. SOME pushback? it can even be something small like ''are you SURE you want ME to help you? do you really need me?'' #doesnt have to be a straight refusal but i'd like SOME kind of action to show that crowley is putting his foot down for once #he deserves that self respect #do NOT reply saying that im insinuating that aziraphale is actively malicious or doing it on purpose. #everything he has done up until now is his own complicated response to all the trauma and guilt he's been through #but despite that crowley is STILL allowed to be upset... it's messy. i can write a whole paper about how this whole thing #is just unfortunate on both ends. again. we didnt get queerbaited we got communication baited 😭 #but help me out here. am i just too fandom-brained to have these expectations from the story? #is there something obvious im missing that is making me sound like a complete asshole here? do i need to get my head out of the gutter? #someone please explain it to me if so because whatever it is‚ i can't find it #not queued

[tmmylovejoy]

One thing I hate so fucking much about people dig up shit to “cancel” people for is that they are never part of the affected demographic. They are not looking for shit someone did wrong 10 years ago because they want to make sure they’re a good person, they’re doing it because they want an excuse to hate them.

The obvious consequence of this, however, is that suddenly an entire demographic is deeply uncomfortable with a creator who once brought them joy.

A thread recently came out about how when Wilbur Soot was 19 he made a lot of very harmful antisemitic jokes. He is now 25 years old. He has talked numerous times about how much he hates the person he was before he was about 22, and how much he’s grown since then. He’s demonstrated this growth too.

The person who published this thread was not jewish and I would assume that the person who gave them the information is not either.

I am jewish. Seeing these screenshots of “jokes” about the genocide of my people fundamentally hurt me. These screenshots do not show his current beliefs or behaviors. It would be impossible to find these jokes if you hadn’t gone actively searching for them. However I still felt betrayed and panicked, no matter how much I knew that Wilbur has changed. I do not know if I can ever watch his content again and find comfort.

This is the problem with digging into peoples past this way. It is never, and never has been, a selfless act nor a form of activism. It is the very opposite. It is the exploitation of marginalized identities to justify your dislike of someone.

#this is ok to rb 👍 (please rb) #obviously I am not trying to minimize marginalized emotions that get brought up by this sort of thing #because I am one of those ppl. idk if i can ever watch wilbur’s content again. #however there’s also no reason I needed to see that thread. it was not indicative of a current problem. #it feels as though a great comfort of mine was forcibly taken away by someone for no reason. like a little game to play. it’s infuriating. #wilbur soot #adora lore #also not adding a link to the thread cause I don’t think the person who posted it deserves that attention lol #i deleted all my old posts about it because they just like. didn’t accurately show how I felt and i didn’t wanna just have that up #sorry to anyone who has had to watch me process all of this #had a category red tornado siren sounding autism moment for a while there

[red-animator]

Hey if I theoretically posted some fucked up Zestmilla smut, would there be an audience for it or should I keep it in my drafts?

#hazbin hotel #zestmilla #zestial #overlord zestial #carmilla carmine #i dont know how to describe the premise in a way that doesnt make it sound like the most basic pwp story ever #note that i am asexual and when i say 'fucked up' i mean 'barely researched and full of probably bad writing' #and also actually fucked up of course #i am first and foremost an angst peddler

[eerna]

finally got to dance with Wyll and let out so many agonized tortured screams of happiness

#i think this is the first time ever that i actually got really really invested in a romanceable option in a video game #and same goes for karlach i cant wait to romance her. i know me talking abt this game sounds like it's a dating sim #but in my defense AGAIN. FOR THE FIRST TIME I AM INVESTED IN A ROMANTIC INTEREST FOR MY CHARACTER #bg3 liveblog

[spacemancharisma]

#I am so 100% sincere about this #and yes I mean the crusty ones too #I’m sorry if all the little dogs you’ve ever met have been completely untrained but this genre of dog is SO SWEET & clever & full of love #and you could love them #if you would open your heart #also not to fully sound like a conspiracy theorist but I do believe a not insignificant number of ppl #dislike this type of dog explictly because they think it’s ‘girly’ or prissy or whatever #and it is in fact just misogyny #but anyway #I want a middle aged little white dog so baddd #I just want a couch potato friend #personal

[ifyoucandaniel]

Take a look at my boyfriend, he’s the only one I got…🎵🎶🦋

#Sirius black is actually the only thought on my mind at any given point in time ever #Sirius black the loml #i wanted to try drawing butterflies and they were way harder than I thought but whatever #mad respect to anyone who draws anything other than people in 3/4 perspective constantly #i did this at like 1 am last night while listening to the kraken from the pirates of the Caribbean sound track on loop #i just think he’s so cool #atyd sirius #sirius black fanart #marauders fanart #wolfstar #sirius black #marauders #fic: all the young dudes #artfolio #<33 #my art