#if it isn't someone you want

[samble-moved]

post itself

false flags

trans/adjacent tags

accessibility features

tumblr live post (thanks for the link, @problemnyatic)

flashing / strobing / lights

unblockable flashing ad

buying ad free

staff @/macmanx guilt trip

list of staff + more issues

#post nuked bc proshippers started insulting people who rbed this and implied partyjockers attempted to Kill staff? it was getting old so #archive links still under the cut if you want and you can rb this from others if you want the og #hint: if you dislike this post or want to debunk parts of it the way to go about it isn't to call people who've rbed it 'disgusting little #fuck ups' that are 'spreading anti shipper lies' #note: this post is and was Not about ship discourse jesus fucking christ proshippers get a grip #also ace discoursers are here too? this isn't about you either? #edit 2: if you send me an anon regarding this post about how im policing discussion or 'don't really want it' #but then stop replying when i answer your ask #maybe that's. not helping discussion? #i nuked this post as people started making up false accusations to smear people staff sniped. aka accusing someone of IRL ATTEMPTED MURDERS.

[inkskinned]

at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME #there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing #and the writing is what i need to be doing #writeblr #this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to #edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol #i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!! #my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means #i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her) #hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong #i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet. #i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse #i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!! #i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO #i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness #and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it #im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us #i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer #and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art. #i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work #even if it means being miserable #but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.

[shivunin]

Because I have just seen this specific thing for the second time, I would like to say:

If I reblog your art, I do not expect you to reblog (or share!) my fic in return

If I comment on your fic, I do not expect you to comment on (or read!) mine in return

My enjoyment of anyone's work does not come with strings or expectations

My friendship is not a bill that you will have to pay later

That's it!

#the fucking obsession with fandom becoming ~content creation~ has got to stop. this is not a business. #i don't like it when someone acts like i owe them because they complimented my work #and i will never do that to someone else #kindness has to be freely given or it isn't kindness; it's manipulation #this just. makes me feel super gross and it upsets me that it's happened twice #and that both people explicitly stated in their profiles that this is an expectation they have of fandom #you can't form a community by force. that's not how it works. #anyways. rant over. i just want it to be known that i'm not expecting anything from anyone lol #if i talk to you or hang out it's because i want to. i don't want anything from you except you know #kindness and companionship or w/e #bleargh. gonna go play a game or something. #dixeram

[birdmenmanga]

I think there's no greater indication that disco elysium is sympathetic towards communism when it literally says "communism is failure" and then the literal gameplay itself rewards trying and failing. The most obvious one being the Shivers check at the FELD mural, which is an Impossible 20 check BUT opens itself up again and again the longer you spend in the world doing things, but even just looking at sheer probabilities, for any given white check, rolling first and THEN putting a point into that skill upon failure is more likely to grant you success than putting a point first and then rolling, but that would require failing first.

Other things too: Precarious world saying you'll 100% fail red checks no matter what (not necessarily a bad thing, btw!! throwing the boule into the sea is a success but like. in some other ways one would want a perfect petanque throw instead. but people wouldn't typically assume that failure is desirable sometimes from the start) persuading you to accept that you'll fail some things that is irrevocable, for a world where everything is just a tiny bit easier.

The faux game over screen when you faint after reading Dora's letter— emulating a sense of failure on the scale of the entire game. When it rolls up most people go "What?? Game over?? No way, what did I do wrong!!" and waking up after that, with no huge or lasting impact on Harry's health or morale really tells the player, "Sometimes things will seem so bad that it all seems like it's coming to an end, but it's not the end, it's really not the end, go drink so water, you can still go on despite this failure"

I'm sure there are other things as well that are eluding me but like. The literal gameplay rewards failing and succeeding far more so than simply succeeding every single time, and I think you get a fuller experience of Elysium that way too

#just thinking thoughts... #disco elysium #idk man when did we get so scared of failing!! #people never want to speak in class because 'what if I'm wrong :(((' #well then you are wrong... that is okay... it's normal to fail... sometimes saying the wrong thing is a great way to jumpstart a topic... #'getting a good grade in X is both normal to want and possible to achieve' #okay sure but have you made peace with the fact that getting a BAD grade in X isn't a bad thing? #a bad grade in being friends... okay... so you didn't check up on someone in 3 months... you failed... that's fine... #you can learn from it!! you can learn how to keep in touch with people. how to take care of them when they're sick. #how to resolve a dispute. how to communicate and compromise. these are all things you are not born with #and will fail first before succeeding at #Like yes I get that in the age of surveillance your failures may be recorded and preserved forever and that's not great #but if we don't normalize failure I really think we'll just suffocate and die

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The musical episode.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #jin guangyao #nie mingjue #Remember jin guangyao: If you do any treachery you will face the wrath of five horses. #When are the horses going to come into play? You'll see. #s2.ep8 had beautiful music... I listened to it on loop while drawing! #Good music to chill out to before you fly into a rage. #This episode really cements how JGY's mind works - It is a matter of long-term outcomes at the sake of nearly everything else. #Morals do not matter to him if the outcome is more favourable. #and at the center of it all - he has learned that the only person he can truly trust is himself. #In turn - the only person his actions benefit are himself. #He will do anything and everything it takes to reach a position of power - not just for the power. But because it means safety. #Because it was something he was denied and the idea of not having control in his life again is unforgivable. #'Happiness' isn't a goal. We are looking at someone still stuck at the bottom of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. #Everything and everyone is a piece in a game. Bonds and friendships are assets. People are dispensable. #He wants to climb for the sake of climbing. He wants praise and recognition because he feels it is deserved. It's all so hollow. #We could go deeper into his psyche on this. #But these are also tags under a comic in which 'evil penis music' is the punchline.

[tapakah0]

Eh, almost forgot ;~;; Commission for sweet @celestialrose3 ;;~;;; Thank you so much *bows*

#rottmnt #I am always very nervous when I draw commissions that are related to someone's story... how to explain it... #No matter how many times you might tell me that it's okay #I can't put it in the words because it sounds stupid and silly #but #you see #It's CAS #cass fanart tag #and it is commission #I ALWAYS FEEL NERVOUS TO POST COMMISSIONS YES I DID THEM FOR SOMEONE BUT they might be related to someone's story or comic and I sit and #think “Can I show it? Isn't it irritating? Am I even allowed to take commission related to it??” I“M SORRY I'M FIGHTING WITH THIS FEELING #ALL MY LIFE #okay no I can't explain it it's just my stupid brain that feels very nervous about such a topic and wants to hide everything related to it #You saw nothing but I just needed to put it into words to feel a little better about it #*hides*

[dawndauce]

he doesn't have to choose

#I just want them to be happy #I also couldn't choose who should be kissing pete so I picked both of them isn't it cool #spiderman #spiderman ps5 #insomniac spider man #insomniac games #peter parker #mary jane watson #harry osborn #parksborn #petermj #petermjharry #spiderman 2 #character design #character art #artwork #fan art #digital illustration #ahhh im so happy everytime someone reblogs with nice tags its what keep me sane #thank you so muchhh

[accirax]

the entire fandom rn

#danganronpa despair time #drdt #elliot cuevas #whit young #charles cuevas #dude i almost wrote whit cuevas... not yet #don't take this as me shipping whit and ellie though ellie is (presumably) 11-13 years older than whit #i just think that whit would be attracted to someone who looks like charles. you know #fanganronpa #drdt spoilers #“the entire fandom” includes me btw #it's bc i'm a fucking syobai simp isn't it. i hate it here /j #serious theorizing later for now i had this idea and wanted to run with it #my art #fanart

[aq2003]

like the important thing you must keep in mind about ten when you see him do literally anything is that he's soooooooooo so so so bad at actually isolating himself from other people. so TERMINALLY bad at it. he thinks to himself "i don't need human connection because everything i do causes pain and destruction to those around me :(" but then he experiences a crumb of human connection and his heart starts to spill out of his chest

#tenth doctor #dr who #doctor who #yeah i say heart singular cuz he said 'i suppose they break my heart' in the next doctor and i have perma brain damage over it #btw. this is why him and martha in the first half of series 3 are Like That. he trusts her deeply but he also doesn't want to form #another deep emotional connection bc look what happened with rose! right! i think partially the reason why he #has his moments of opening up about his past is because he thinks 'well she isn't going to see me again after this' #'i might as well tell her if she asks. it may even scare her off'. this is INSANE. he is INSANE. and he is so fucking STUPID #fool! you are developing a connection with someone!!!!!!! not pushing them away!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #look at what you are doing to martha's self esteem bro!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #10 era

[mrtequilasunset]

Highkey so sad to see Kim's character get butchered by people who see Harry as whichever addict wronged them in their life.

#disco elysium #unironically seek help Disco Elysium isn't your revenge story #like treating him like he *wants* to be an addict and *wants* to be the way he is #idk how you can play most of the game in his head and still come out of it thinking he's choosing this on purpose #atp i think you're just stupid sorry #“I don't want to be this kind of animal anymore” means nothing to some people I guess #and also the people who treat Jean like he's better than Harry for not being addict should know that its heavily implied #that jean also uses substances #and also kim shows interest in using speed #so literally none of these characters are any different than harry #saw someone say that “everyone enables harry” as if 99% of the game isn't everyone telling him he's shit garbage for being an addict #assflash newshole everyones addiction gets enabled it came free with your fucking RCM badge

[laufire]

jason's lazarus pit was golden jason's lazarus pit was golden jasonslazaruspitwasgolden jason's lazarus pit was golden JASON'S LAZARUS PIT WAS GOLDEN

AND PIT MADNESS IS *NOTHING*

#can't you read the TWO universally accepted good jason stories #(utrh and lost days) #they're good jason's there. the pit? gold. the madness? NOT FUCKING REAL #your story? WORSE FOR NOT KNOWING THIS #talking to the void #my thoughts #fandom nonsense #dc comics #jason todd #before someone comes at me about how people can write what they want and canon isn't sacred and blah blah #yeah i know. you'll notice I'm ranting about this in my personal blog! instead of leaving it in someone's inbox! #in my personal blog i can say express my own opinions! #and my own opinion is that the pit madness trope SUCKS and if you use it your jason writing is BAD #and also at this point I've developed a violent pavlovian response to the word ''green'' but that's neither here nor there #bitter lau tag #dc #dc thoughts

[hazel2468]

I keep seeing people bitching about "uwu when I say 'from the river to the sea' people say I'm calling for geeenocide! They say I'm antisemitic!" and like.

Maybe. instead of clinging to a phrase that a bunch of white leftists have co-opted because they think it sounds nice. And digging your little immature heels in. You should LISTEN when people tell you that yes. The phrase's FUCKING ORIGIN was a call for the eradication of Jews from the area known as Israel and Palestine. That NO, you cannot divorce it from those roots. YES, it IS still used to mean that TO THIS DAMN DAY.

And look. Maybe you DON'T think that Israelis should all be killed and/or exiled from Israel and Palestine. Maybe you DON'T think that the genocide of an entire people is the solution. Maybe you DON'T hate Jews and want all of us dead. And if that's the case? Great!

But how the FUCK are we supposed to tell the difference when you are using the EXACT same phrase as countless people who DO want those things. People who DO hate Jews, who ARE supportive of organizations that want to commit violence, people who SUPPORT what happened on October 7th?

When people tell you "hey, this phrase means something else, it has ALWAYS come from those roots, and using it is NOT OKAY because it is STILL used as a rallying cry for violence against Israelis and Jews worldwide", the way to react? Is NOT to fucking double down and use it.

Because that? DOES make you an antisemite. And if I see you using that phrase? Then I MUST assume that at best, you do not know what it means and have SOMEHOW avoided the countless Jews and non-Jews I have seen talking about it, or at WORST you actively hate me and want me and every single one of my people dead.

And frankly? You are not worth that risk to interact with.

Stop saying it. There are SO many ways to support Palestine, the Palestinian people, and their fight for rights, that do not involve spouting genocidal, antisemitic rhetoric. it is NOT HARD.

But apparently, some of y'all are insistent on being racist.

#antisemitism #i/p #the phrase cannot be divorced from its roots #and if I see anyone complaining about it #I am just going to assume that you're a racist antisemite now #it's been long enough #saw someone bitching about not being allowed to have it up at work #and people railing the OTW for not allowing it and im like #ah so if I showed up with a 1488 patch and I got told I couldn't wear that #like #that's actually a GREAT comparison #because a LOT of people have no idea was 1488 means and think it's just a number #but the people who know what it stands for will take you using it as support for them #and btw it's a white supremacist and Nazi symbol #so when someone says hey you know that number isn't JUST a number #it has a lot of racist and violent connotations #the response is not to INSIST that you be allowed to use that damn number #it should be to go oh shit and ditch it #because YOU DON'T WANT FUCKING WHITE SUPREMACISTS THINKING YOU AGREE WITH THEM

[royalarchivist]

[A sad violin song plays over an image of a sad hamster]

Pac: This doesn't have anything to do with me – I wear a blue sweatshirt, you're crazy, this mouse doesn't even have a sweatshirt, this hamster! [Reading chat] Am I a depressed hamster?

[ Transcript continued ↓ ]*

–

Pac: Actually– that's fine! I embrace that idea – of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy? [He hits his desk, then starts counting off people on his fingers] Fit is gone, Richarlyson is gone, Ramon is gone, Bagi and Empanada who were always there when we were there are also gone, I haven't seen them! It's just me and Tubbo, and sometimes Philza shows up.

Pac: I lost Chume Labs, I lost the Favela, I lost Murder Mystery, I lost Ilha Chume Labs, it's crazy! Look at how much I've lost, and I've gained nothing! Of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy?! How am I supposed to be happy?!

Pac: [Reading chat] "You have us Pac," that's true, thank you. No, that's true, sorry.

* NOTE: Please note that this is an incomplete transcript, as I was primarily relying on Aypierre's translation mod at the time and if I am not confident of the translation, I do not include it. As always, please feel free to add on translations or message me corrections.

#Pactw #QSMP #Pac #March 18 2024 #As much as I love keeping people updated about Pac / the other Portuguese-speaking creators #I think I might not make as many transcribed posts for their clips anymore #I just don't think I'm qualified enough to be transcribing things for a language I don't know #like yeah we have the Qlobal Translator and Aypierre's translators to rely on #And I'm always upfront when I'm not 100% sure about a translation #but I've been thinking about it a lot and it kinda makes me feel a bit icky. Idk. #I might be overthinking this but I just I don't want to spread around translations I'm not super confident about #esp. since I know a lot of people cite my clips in analysis posts or link them to other people as resources #and 90% of the time I'm like ''Hell yeah I love seeing people getting a lot of use out of the archive'' #but sometimes I get a bit anxious like ''Did I do a good enough job translating this'' #''Am I ruining someone's entire perception of a conversation or character because I left one word out or mistranslated something?'' #And like I said that's normally not a HUGE concern since if I'm not certain about a translation I just won't post a clip. but you know #idk it might just be the anxiety talking but I really really don't want to spread bad info #Happy to hear other folks' perspective #I'm really grateful for people like Bell and Pix and others who translate clips and I always try to reblog those #but we don't have a ton of people posting clips & translating things on Tumblr since we're so English-centric #which is part of the reason WHY I like sharing clips of the non-English-speaking CCs #but at the same time I want to do an accurate job representing what they're saying #Maybe I'll just start posting things and give a TLDR context of what they're talking about but not a transcript #that way native-speakers can hop in and add translations if that's something they're comfortable doing #and if not then well. at least I'm not sharing something that isn't super accurate #idk I'm just thinking out loud a bit in the tags #But I'm open to hearing other people's thoughts on the matter #Anyways giant rant aside. q!Pac is NOT doing ok rn

[bitchthefuck1]

It's kind of funny that Kendall and Shiv are both equally delusional about their ability to charm people for business and somehow think they can do it even though they choke almost every single time, whereas it's like the one thing Roman is consistently good at despite being the "least legitimate" option.

I think part of this comes down to the fact that Shiv and Kendall both have very clear ideas of the versions of themselves they're trying to be and the images they're trying to project, and they're trying so hard to be seen that way that they end up coming off as a little desperate and off-putting. Meanwhile Roman "knows" that there's something wrong with him and he's worthless, so he doesn't get sucked into the trap of trying to force people to see his idea of himself and instead molds himself into whatever he thinks the other person wants from him because that's the only way he can compensate for "being him," which works very well in the short term but also means he's the least capable of maintaining any relationship for very long because he has no sense of self.

#this was going to be a joke about kendall consistently failing to charm anyone that isn't stewy (and still for some reason thinking he's #good at it) but then i thought about it too hard and started connecting dots #but it is really interesting on a character level to analyze the different ways the siblings act when they're trying to win someone over #kendall and shiv will try to find common ground but they always end up pushing too hard and overplaying their hands because they're #focussing too much on wanting to get the person to take them seriously or see them the way they want to be seen #and roman will test the waters a bit but not say anything definitive until he get the person talking and can see what it is they want #and then just says whatever it is he thinks they want to hear #which also makes a lot of sense with the abuse dynamics since he was the one most likely to actually get hit so the goal is to just make #sure dad never gets angry at you and tell him whatever you need to to avoid that because the consequences will be worse #anyways its 2 am here you go #succession #kendall roy #shiv roy #roman roy

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

He was just being a silly little guy!

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#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #jin guangyao #wen ruohan #nie mingjue #lan xichen #JGY's character is the zigging and zagging guy of all time #We love a little meow meow that can bite and scratch and kill you. #We also love a little meow meow that can mewl pathetically! #'He's evil now and torturing his former friend?" ZAG TIME: He's a spy and feels soooo awful about it!! #ZIG TIME: He (probably) didn't need to go that deep into the role and kill as many people as he did. #Something I really love about the sworn brother trio is how they reflect how our feelings distort our perception of others. #Lan Xichen represents how when we love/care about someone -anything they do can be endearing. They aren't manipulative: they are clever. #Its less about rose tinted glasses and more about reframing every look you get of them. The constant justifications you make for them. #They just need a space to be loved! “They care for me so I will stand by them no matter what to show them I'm there for them!” #While NMJ represents how when you dislike someone - Everything they do is an affront or proof of their foul character. #Everything is a sign. Everything is 'proof' they are just as awful as you want them to be. Every 'good trait' is twisted. #The problem is that most people are just human. They are flawed and they are capable of good and bad things. #Meng Yao's motivations are very complex. Yet he's extremely human all the same. He isn't the saint nor the monster of the story.

[lgbtlunaverse]

So I've been wondering about one particuar point on the "Jiang Cheng marriage recquirement" list and it's the one about low cultivation.

Now on its face, except for the "must be nice to jin ling" point, the whole thing just looks like the most standard list of "ideal wife characteristics under a patriarchal society." naturally beautiful, graceful and obedient, coming from a good family, voice not too loud, etc. This leads to either the interpretation that jiang cheng really wants that (doubt dot png) or just... put all the most stereotypical things on a list even though that's not what he really wants.

In that context "cultivation must not be too high" sounds like a typical "men are scared of women who are smarter/stronger" thing. you know, the dudes who feel 'intimidated' when their wife or girlfriend makes more money than them.

...Except wasn't Yanli openly mocked for her low cultivation? Like, wasn't one of the reasons Jin Zixuan was such an ass to her initially because he shallowly assumed her lower cultivation made her an unworthy marriage candidate? Jin Guangshan may hate women who can read but society overal doesn't give the impression that high cultivation in women is seen as something undesirable. I mean... a wife that never looks like she's over 20 even as she starts aging? yeah I have no problem believing a misogynistic society is okay with high cultivation.

So if it's not there just to fit the stereotypical standard of an ideal wife...

Jiang Cheng, are you just describing your sister?

LIke?? Every single point on this list applies to Yanli. All of them. I don't mean this in a freudian incest-y way but in a "jiang cheng are you so unaware of what you want in a partner you just took the only woman you've had an unambiguously good relationship with and hoped no one would notice???" way. Does he know the difference in what you should like about your sister and what you should like in a spouse? Is he even aware he's doing this? Jiang Cheng answer meeeee.

#mdzs #jiang cheng #mdzs headcanons #mdzs meta #you can take this headcanon so many places #is he like this because he's gay? aro? actually attracted to women but too emotionally stunted to know what he even wants? #in cql canon the whole list imo becomes about wen qing #in a 'i'm still not over my dead not-girlfriend so all my recquirements are for someone extremely unlike her' way #is it self-sabotage? trying to avoid being reminded of her? who knows! #but in novel canon chengqing's not real so there it's about yanli #i mean the list isn't even IN the novel so depending on whether you consider word of god canon or not it doesn't even exist there #but it's so fun to play with #also i know in novel canon yani is described as at best 'above average' looks wise #but are YOU gonna tell one of her brothers she's not the most beautiful woman in the world? #i don't think so