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#if i woke up next to you
rottingold · 5 days ago
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Haven’t been drawing much, but here’s this guy
He’s based off a dream I had: I was someone named Russel Goldwell, I was a pilot or soldier in a war, unfortunately he would die, either by plane crash or gun shot (I can't remember, I didn’t even remember in the dream) near the end of the war. In a new life, at 17 years old he would go back to his house where an older woman now lives, proves that he is the dead man, then the woman tells him that he should go see his family and she takes him to where they now live. They become friends, then I wake up.
I can’t really decide what he looks like tho://
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xenoriarose · 5 days ago
like on some level i do recognize that i likely have at least mild ocd. but in no way shape or form do i accept it
#i know i just talked about the numbers but trust me if that's all there was to it i wouldn't be saying this#it's the checking too. the constant checking#like as a kid i'd have to make sure i locked the bathroom door like 3 times and make sure no one was behind the shower curtain at least once#over the years it's evolved to needing to Constantly refresh websites#or rather close the tab bc seeing tabs bothers me then reopen it 15 times in the next hour#and i Always have to reread stuff i write. like posts texts etc etc etc. before i send/post and then again after#and then there's the whole 'x happened bc you did y' and/or 'x will happen if you don't do y'#i just CANNOT disconnect unrelated events from each other#like i still to this day can't shake the thought that carrie fisher died bc i shoplifted a lipgloss from walmart the week before#and when my dad was in the hospital it was 'if you don't make this exact amount of croissants at work your dad will die'#for the record i made the croissants. and he's fine#and like as a child when i still believed in god it was very intertwined w religion#like i HAD to say a silent prayer every day when i first woke up before and after every meal and at least once every hour#and it went like (warning: cringe ahead)#dear god: please do not let me die today. please do not let me get the stomach virus today. and please do not let me throw up today#i thought i was sooooo smart listing both the stomach virus and throwing up lmao#in case it's not obvious i had and still have a serious case of emetophobia#but i did this every day for like a year until sixth grade started and i encountered bigger problems#the funny thing is i actually HAVE been told by more than one mental health professional that i have ocd#but in both cases it was someone who most definitely did not know me well enough to make that judgment so i choose to disregard
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lambourngb · 14 days ago
"understand" for the Fanfiction Work-In-Progress Guessing Game
from “if I woke up next to you” the LYW sequel:
“We were just kids,” Alex finally replied after it was clear Greg was finished. “The only person who had any responsibility in keeping us safe was Dad, and he’s the one who failed, not you. I would be the biggest hypocrite alive to begrudge you in what you did to protect yourself, okay? I forgive you, if that is what you need to hear.”
“Does that mean you forgive Mom too?” 
Fuck. Even though Greg’s voice was kind, the words still raked across old wounds. He made a note to call his therapist later as he swallowed down that knot of pain in his throat. 
“Yeah, she had to keep herself safe, too. Survival is a strong instinct, and I can understand it.” Understand it, forgive it, but he would probably never forget the sight of his mother, stone-faced with red eyes, pressing a kiss on his forehead before picking up her suitcase, leaving him in that house at age eight. Alex kept his gaze on Michael, who was now flopped on the grass wrestling with Beckett for the tennis ball. They had a dog together, and already Alex couldn’t imagine leaving Beckett behind in an unsafe house, let alone a child. “At the funeral, I invited her to the wedding.”
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lambourngb · 14 days ago
For the ask meme: "hold"
dearest J thank you for asking for this word. I only looked in the file I wrote on yesterday, the sequel to “last years wishes” and I found it repeated 31 times in 17,000 words. 😩😬😬🙈🙈
So I think this is one use that will survive my purge/thesaurus edit :
Alex snapped the textbook closed to place on the nightstand and reached up to remove Michael’s glasses gently. “You have tomorrow off to study, the test isn’t for another week and you need more rest than that little nap we just took.” Michael made a quiet protesting grumble but still moved obediently under Alex’s manhandling as he placed the plate of fruit in his lap instead. “If I have to hold you down and feed you, I will.”
In answer, Michael opened his mouth wide.
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kirishwima · a month ago
do you ever remember how many people have shown you kindness throughout your life and realize that maybe life isn't that bad sometimes
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myhoodacademia · 2 months ago
Ever met a guy that was toxic and now is seeming like the victim. So now you’re just feeling like a whole bitch even though it was 50/50 toxic or am I living in a ps4? 🙄✋🏽
How do you guys stop caring about the small things-😭😭👋🏽
felt that so hard bru— but yes I have 😭 your feelings are 100% valid, esp if yk y’all were toxic together so don’t let them suddenly switching up make you believe that you’re overreacting or being a bitch because you’re not, promise
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1tad0ri · 2 months ago
sitting on yuuji's face😋😋😋😋 that's all i have to say, i rest my case
case rested indeed
he has you facing the headboard (“you should hold on to something,” he’d told you) and your knuckles are hurting a little with the way you’re gripping it. you’re about to lower yourself onto his face but you’re just... unsure. hesitating.
you’re hovering close enough you have feel how the warm wisps of air he lets out brush against your folds and you squeeze your eyes shut.
“come on, baby. let me taste you,” itadori says from below you.
“yuuji...” your legs are shaking with your current position and your resolve is crumbling. you’re the one who wanted to do this anyway, weren’t you? you should be in charge here.
“pretty please? for me?” ugh, there he goes again, being so sweet.
what was the point in waiting anyway? you wanted this and it was just plain old yuuji after all—everything would be fine. “okay...” slowly, you let yourself down onto his mouth, but your careful pace is ruined as soon as you get close enough—he locks an iron grip around your thighs to hold you to him and his mouth is already sucking along your folds and your stomach flips as you squirm in place, the fluttering sensation already making you feel lightheaded.
“yuuji— yuuji, please.” he’s not listening though, pushing his tongue into you and squeezing your legs and murmuring against you, leaving you to just shake and whine and pant and praise him and take it.
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fletcher-renn · 2 months ago
Those dreams where you end up forming a connection with someone who doesn’t actually exist irl are so fun but also so upsetting. Anyway Victor where the fuck are you
#so in the dream i was at my grandma’s house and i was meeting my nephew for the first time#(my nephew is like 4 years older than me btw and we’ve never met in person)#but yeah i went into the bathroom at my grandma’s house and i ran into my nephew’s girlfriend who was only wearing a bathrobe it seemed like#and also some guy who was taking photos of her#it turned out she was a model (she was legit gorgeous btw) and he (victor) was a magazine photographer#NO clue why they decided my grandma’s bathroom was a good place for a shoot but i was like ‘alright live your best lives i guess’#so i go to pee and then shortly after that i catch victor trying to take a photo of me (not an indecent one)#but he’s not sure if i actually did catch him and i overhear him talking to my nephew#and victor is saying ‘sorry but your aunt is hot. she just is’#victor by the way was ridiculously good looking. about 6’3; david tennant-esque hair; and just a nice face#so i’m like ‘YES’ and i go over there and i’m like ‘i’m ellen by the way. nice to meet you’ and i shake his hand#he gets very bashful. i start asking about his photography and i’m like ‘idk i’m just in a very artistic mood’ and for some reason#that clued him in that i caught him trying to take a picture of me#so he’s super embarrassed and apologetic and i’m like ‘dude it’s fine’#but yeah we were seated next to each other at dinner and we started talking and flirting and then i woke up 😑#anyway if there’s a victor out there who fits this description—#personal
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idkhow-butyoufoundme · 2 months ago
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cockasinthebird · 4 months ago
Hey Cock,
How are you doing?? I haven't seen you around for a lil bit and I know life is busy so just wanna check in and say that I hope things are good 💕
Dear anon,
First off, let me say, 🥺😳❤️💕💝💖💘💗❣️
Thank you so much for checking up on me!!!!!!!! Life is uneventful for me, I really do nothing else than wake up around noon, mostly after, play videogames, eat, binge watch Netflix, then go to bed at EARLIEST 3am, all the while stewing in my own depression whilst I maneuver through welfare and treatment to hopefully eventually be stable enough to have a proper job again ✊😔
I've said time and time again that I lost a lot of steam when I got flagged for two weeks, and sadly that just never came back to me? By now I haven't written a single word in over a week, and I fear that I am finding myself thinking less and less about Harringrove, and while that does free up space to think about my own projects, it means that I won't be able to engage as much with the fandom as I used to
I'm not gonna do a dramatic goodbye, I'll keep the blog up ofc, maybe reblog a thing or two here and there, but I'm not expecting to post or actively interact with the fandom for a good while
It is absolutely NOT personal, it has NOTHING to do with any of you guys; you have all been absolutely astounding and I've loved every single minute of this fandom ok, really and truly, and I've met some of the most incredible and amazing people here, and if any of you read this, sorry I haven't responded to your DMs and messages, I am simply mentally over encumbered, I still love and adore you ❤️💕
Time passes, and with it we must follow, thank you all so much for having me and loving me and enjoying my content, it's been tubular 🤘😌🥰💕
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