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#if he ever becomes a lawyer like he planned ~ him trying to sit in court would be priceless
intrepidacious · 2 years
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not even a little
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summary: The problem of living with Bucky is that he makes it impossible not to fall in love with him. Even though you could list several hundred reasons why it’s a bad idea. And you have.
pairing: roommate!bucky barnes x reader
word count: 5.7k
warnings: pining idiots in love, slightly questionable roomie behaviour, simultaneously the softest and cockiest bucky i've written so far, blink and you miss it throwing shade at iron fist
please note that my blog is rated 18+. minors dni. ageless/empty blogs will be blocked without warning.
a/n: this is my very late submission for kathie's (@pellucid-constellations) love letters writing challenge <3 thank you for this lovely idea, writing this was a challenge indeed but that is, as they say, a me problem. also huge shoutout to @barnesafterglow and @sweetascanbee, this really and truly would still not be done without you. love you both 💛
masterlist | read on ao3
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You’re screwed. You know that you’re screwed.
Surely, there’s a rule book for these kinds of situations, and rule number one tells you in big, blinking neon letters that you should absolutely, under no circumstances, not ever fall in love with your roommate. Especially not if he also happens to be your best friend.
And yet.
Trouble is that Bucky Barnes is the type of guy that makes it very, very difficult not to fall for him.
Honestly, you should have known better when Nat had suggested the two of you move in together, that night at the bar right after college, “since you’re both new in town and all”. You’d almost spat your drink in her face when she waved him over to where you were sitting, because there was no way in hell a man called James looked like that.
“Friends call me Bucky, actually,” he’d said, a smirk on his lips that went straight to your core.
Natasha glanced between the two of you with that smug look of hers, and you shot her a warning glare because she knew. She knew from the moment you awkwardly shook Bucky’s hand that he was gonna mean trouble for you, with his leather jacket and his blue eyes and his fucking horrible tendency to be both suave and sheepish within the same sentence.
So how are you supposed to say no after that?
It’s so easy to grow close to him, too. Way too easy. You fall into a routine with such effortlessness it has you wonder how you've ever managed without him at all. Grocery runs after work and movie nights on tired Friday evenings, conversations that would be nonsensical to anyone eavesdropping, dreary-eyed breakfast at 2 p.m. Quickly, it becomes difficult to remember a time in your life that didn’t include Bucky.
Needless to say, it’s a struggle.
Thankfully, you come up with a brilliant plan about a month into your new living arrangement. Or rather, your friends do.
“You should kill him.”
“Darcy!”
“What?” Darcy tucks into her mozzarella sticks. “We’d claim temporary insanity in court, if he’s that hot, there’s no way the jury wouldn’t understand.”
“You’d make an awful lawyer,” Colleen says drily, continuing to pat your head awkwardly.
Darcy raises one impeccable eyebrow. “Got some better idea to save Y/N from Barnes’ death grip, buzzkill?”
“Remember before I broke up with Danny?”
You snort at the visceral shudder that goes through Darcy. “Those were the dark days.”
“Hah.” Colleen rolls her eyes. “Anyway. I wrote down every single time he did something that pissed me off, and whenever I felt myself falling into old habits, I went over the list. Worked like a charm. I was over him like that.” She snaps her fingers.
“And thus, another national holiday was born,” Darcy says, clinking her bottle against Colleen’s. “May we always commemorate Independrandce Day to remind ourselves that bad times don’t last.”
“All the things that piss me off?” you ask doubtfully. “I want my crush to go away, not make my apartment unbearable to live in.”
“Just try it for a while, then,” Colleen shrugs. “If it doesn’t work, you can still resort to physical violence. There’s an open spot in my Thursday class.”
You’re busy Thursdays.
It’s almost surprising how little time passes until you need to take your friend’s advice. You’re just headed into the kitchen to grab a snack before you leave for work when you screech to a halt.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
Bucky turns around slowly, having the audacity to look confused even as he’s still holding the bottle. “Having a drink?”
“Of milk?” you say, trying not to actually gag. He’s lucky you’re not a milk-sharing household or you wouldn’t be able to stop yourself from going off.
“Gotta keep my bones strong.” There’s a glint in his eye as he says it, too, because at this point he already knows exactly how to rile you up. He loves seeing you explode.
This time, though, you won’t give him the satisfaction.
Slowly, an empty smile on your face, you pull out your phone. Bucky, you are an actual horrible disgusting psychopath, you type with a forced sense of serenity. who tf drinks milk straight from the bottle.
You feel strangely better after that and another deep breath.
“I’m gonna go now,” you tell him a bit too sharply and turn on your heels. You’ll get food on your way.
It quickly turns into a habit. Every time he does something small that would normally set you off, you open your notes app and write it out, instead. It helps at least somewhat to stop romanticizing your situation. Level things out a little.
Because the truth is, Bucky Barnes absolutely aggravates you sometimes, and it’s good to remind yourself of those times when he’s once again wandering around the apartment in nothing but his sweatpants.
“Jesus, Buck,” you say, slumping down on the couch a few feet away from him. “Would it kill you to wear a shirt every once in a while?”
“It’s like a hundred degrees in here,” Bucky whines, not moving from where he’s reading.
“So? You don’t see me strip naked.”
His smile is lazy, but his eyes sparkle with amusement as he turns his page. “I know, and it’s a shame.”
“Fuck off, Barnes.” Your cheeks are on fire and you can only hope he can’t tell. “Nat’s gonna be here in five minutes.”
“Okay,” he says, not moving an inch.
You stare at him incredulously. “Can you please put some clothes on?”
“I am wearing clothes,” Bucky states dryly. “Besides, Nat won’t mind.”
“Dot might,” you mumble, but he ignores you. Not that you expected him to; his on-again, off-again relationship has been a topic of contention for a while now, and not because of you.
Truly, you’ve been doing a lot better lately, keeping a lid on your feelings. Which is why you’re able to look at him and his naked torso and his arms and be completely fine. Really. You pull your gaze to the book he’s holding and frown.
“Is that mine?”
Bucky finally glances at you, looking almost bashful. “You said it was good.”
You blink in surprise. You did say that, but not to him. You remember telling Colleen how much you loved it the last time you were facetiming in the living room while Bucky was perched at the kitchen counter with a bored, absent expression on his face as he silently scrolled through something on his phone.
The fact that he listened makes you choose to ignore that he’s definitely going to ruin the spine if he keeps holding the book like that.
“How do you like it?” you ask, voice slightly higher than usual.
“It’s great.” His smile returns, and you will never be sick of him looking like that, looking at you like that. So content.
The doorbell wakes you from your trance with a start.
Bucky sighs quietly as he carefully places a bookmark between the pages and gets up from the couch, rolling his shoulders. You watch him as he shuffles away to his room without another word, sweat making the hair stick to his neck. It takes you another moment to stand up yourself.
You pull out your phone as you wait for Nat to get upstairs, hesitating for a moment before you open your notes app. The feeling in your stomach uncoils.
***
There are days, despite your best efforts, that you still let yourself hope. Like when Bucky makes enough pancakes for dinner to feed an entire football team and you talk about the book he’s borrowed over maple syrup and jam until it’s eleven at night. Or when you’re out with your mutual group of friends and his gaze always finds yours after he’s made a joke, as if to gage your reaction, as if to make sure to catch a spark of amusement in your eyes.
Other times, like right now, you simply don’t have the time to question your relationship too much.
While the prospect of your upcoming promotion is great, it leaves you with an almost insurmountable pile of work that’s to be done as soon as possible, and the long hours make you putter around the apartment like a zombie. Thankfully, Bucky’s been avoiding you while you’re in this state, spending his days at Dot’s, or at Steve’s. You’re sure he’s told you at some point, but you don’t really remember.
You’ve set up your little work space in the living room, because it’s the only room with proper light in it. Most of your time is spent on the couch, noise-canceling headphones on and trying to focus on what feels like seven different projects at once. You miss feeling the sun on your skin.
As you’re trying to get your eyes to focus on the numbers and nonsensical reports flickering over your laptop screen, you notice movement in your peripheral vision. You flinch, pulling off your headphones, and then blink.
Bucky freezes mid turn, clearly not having expected you to notice him. “Sorry,” he says. “I just got home.”
Your stare remains fixed on the table. Your favorite mug is filled to the brim with tea, placed delicately on the previously empty coaster next to your pile of books.
“You looked like you needed it,” he continues, and your heart swells.
“Thank you,” you mumble and he shrugs.
“Dinner should be here in twenty, if you want some.”
You nod, watching the steam curl when he leaves you to your reports again. Strange, how easy it is to suddenly overthink a cup of tea.
You wait a couple of minutes for it to cool, then take a tentative sip. Your nose scrunches up.
He’s oversteeped it to the point of no return.
Still, you find yourself drinking most of it, because for some reason you can’t bring yourself to just pour it down the drain. It’s like you can’t quite let go of the gesture.
When the week is finally over, you both sit on the fire escape with a drink in your hands and breathe in the cool early night air. There’s undone dishes and at least three machines’ worth of laundry and a thousand other things demanding your attention, but for now, for this one evening, you’re finally content to do absolutely nothing and do it guilt-free.
It’s nice to just sit next to each other in utter silence as you watch the people below hurry along home through the traffic. The streets smell like spilled gasoline and the very last fringes of summer. The sun is setting at a deliciously lazy pace.
Bucky nudges you and points to the other side of the street. You coo as you watch the corgi waddle around the corner, almost itching for your phone to take a picture. Instead, you look up.
The sky looks beautiful, as if someone had softly smudged the deepest blue ink while it was still drying and dabbed the most glorious shades of pink and orange at the edges. A plane goes by overhead, blinking and leaving a trail of gray across the vast firmament.
“You know,” you say, leaning your head against the wall. “When I was little, I used to think these clouds were made of cotton candy.”
Bucky doesn’t laugh, but you feel the smile radiating from him without even turning. It’s like that, between you. Random thoughts are never weird. Only there to be outweirded.
“I used to think the moon was made of cheese,” he offers tonight.
You do laugh, then, short and loud. When you meet his eyes again, they’re the color of the darkest parts of the sky, and the look on his face is indescribable. Almost like surprise. It sends a chill through you.
“What?” you say, and he shakes his head.
A car alarm goes off in the distance, and you avert your gaze again, pulling the blanket tighter around your shoulders. Bucky’s phone vibrates with a message, but he doesn’t duck inside like you expect him to. Instead, you both sit there until the sun has fully disappeared, and something seems to settle.
It’s a setback that follows you well into the next year.
“I vote arsen or arsenic,” Darcy says. “You have insurance, right?”
She reaches over to grab your phone, swiftly entering the pincode with that set frown of hers as if she’s trying to hack into the pentagon again.
“I doubt they cover homicide,” you deadpan.
“Manslaughter, actually” she reads from your phone. “In the first degree. Ow!” She rubs her shin.
“Who are we getting rid of?” Natasha asks, sliding back into the booth next to you.
“No one,” you say at the same time as Darcy says, “Barnes, duh.” You give her a sharp look. She sticks her tongue out at you.
Nat bumps her shoulder against yours. “How long has it been, coming up two years in June?”
“Shut up,” you murmur, taking another sip of your milkshake. “Darce, what are you doing with my phone?”
“Well, I’m done googling, I wanna see if you actually made that list.”
“What list?” Natasha asks.
“Okay, give me that.” You try to grab your phone back, but Darcy snatches it out of your reach quickly.
“Come on, you never tell me these things anymore,” Darcy complains and continues scrolling. “We used to have so much fun! Does he snore? Does he leave his socks all over the floor? I have a need to know!”
“And it’s making you rhyme, too.”
She’s still dodging your efforts to get your phone back while she’s talking. Natasha watches both of you in amusement, eating her cheesy fries.
“Hah!” Darcy exclaims and your heart drops. “I knew it, he seems like the type to break a spine. I can always tell.”
“Darcy,” you say warningly.
She gasps theatrically. “He killed Fernadette? You said it was an accident!”
“Plants die, Darce, it’s not a big deal.”
In the moment of her outraged distraction, Nat plucks your phone from her hands. She scrolls down once, smirks, and finally hands it back to you. “Change your passcode, WikiLeaks.”
You throw the phone back in your bag resolutely, cheeks burning.
Darcy pouts. “I didn’t even get to the good stuff.”
“You know,” Natasha says, dipping her fry into the melting whipped cream on your shake. “Some of this stuff you should probably tell him.”
“It’s fine,” you say through gritted teeth. “I’m fine. We’re both still alive, aren’t we?”
“Only because you’re boring,” Darcy rolls her eyes.
Natasha lifts her glass. “To two years’ survival in June,” she grins innocently at you.
As you clink your glasses together, there’s something in her eyes that makes you feel like you’re toasting an ultimatum.
***
It’s irrevocably over with Dot when Bucky officially breaks up with her the day before Valentine’s, which is a bit extreme even by your standards, and you’ve never liked Dot.
Matter of fact, it would have made the list anyway, but all the more so when he decides to wreck your following evening as well in the process.
Being eternally single, you’d planned a nice, relaxing night home alone with a movie and some takeout to keep you from obsessively refreshing Instagram as a way to torture yourself. Cozy, quiet, totally not alone forever.
Instead, you now have a sullen-faced Bucky to contend with.
“If you’re gonna be moping all night, you can do it in your room,” you finally snap after he’s complained about your choice of food, the candle you wanted to burn in the living room, and how you decided to eat the giant box of chocolates you’d treated yourself to.
“I’m not,” Bucky says mopingly.
You roll your eyes. “Seriously, you couldn’t have chosen literally any other day of the year to break things off with her? There are a lot of them, you know.”
Bucky throws a pile of chocolate wrappers at you. You retaliate with a pillow to his face.
There’s a second for you to laugh at his expression, when he’s still too stunned to react, before the pillow comes flying back to hit you in the temple and you almost fall off the couch with a shriek.
“Aren’t you supposed to be nice to me?” Bucky asks, grabbing a pillow in each hand to use as defense.
“Pretty sure that’s a dumpee privilege,” you say, mimicking what he’s doing.
You stare at each other for a second, then Bucky throws one of the pillows he’s holding at your head. It lands on the floor as you block it with your own, taking the unlit candle down with it. You smack another of your pillows at his face.
Finally, there’s a little glint in his eye again. “I thought you didn’t like her.”
“Doesn’t mean she deserves to be dumped on February thirteenth,” you say. The second pillow misses and Bucky’s grin turns feline. Shit.
Slowly, you put one foot on the floor, Bucky watching your every move. You can see the pillow on the floor out of the corner of your eye.
You dart towards it and Bucky throws his second pillow. You duck. Your chocolates go flying to the ground, scattering everywhere. Both of you grab the floor pillow at the same time, struggling for it.
“Dickhead,” you gasp, thinking of your nice ruined chocolates. You twist to wrangle the pillow out of his grasp, but in doing so stumble. Bucky, to his credit, tries to stop your fall, but you only take him down with you, landing uncomfortably on top of each other on the couch.
Your breath hitches when you feel his weight on you, closer to him than you’ve ever dared before. There’s something in the depths of his eyes that makes it very hard to have a single coherent thought.
“Maybe,” Bucky says, and there’s a tiny crack in his voice as if he knows it, too, “I was sick of pretending.”
Time seems to freeze. He doesn’t move, and his face doesn’t change as he looks at you, not really. It’s just Bucky. Just … everything.
You can feel heat rising.
The doorbell saves you from embarrassing yourself further. You can hear Bucky cursing under his breath as you gently shove him off you and hurry to the door, your heart still thundering.
It’s a moment you keep replaying in your mind obsessively even weeks later, as if remembering it as often as possible would change the outcome at all. Would stop your food from arriving at that exact moment, and instead …
Going down that line of thought is a dangerous game, especially now that you’ve seen the freckle next to his mouth up close, delicately placed there like a dimple, like it was painted with the softest brush. It begs to be kissed.
Sam’s voice calling your name snaps you back to the present and you lock your phone, sharply turning on your heel and almost spilling the buckets of popcorn you’re precariously holding in one arm while attempting to balance the nachos with the other.
“Isn’t that a lot of snacks for four people?” Bucky asks, taking some of the stuff off you.
You don’t meet his eye and frown instead. “Why four people?”
“Nat just sent a text,” Sam says, his arm still around Misty’s waist. “Apparently Steve’s got a cold and they’re staying home.”
And with Joaquín still in Mexico and Darcy running so late at work she’d meet you at the bar later, your group of eight had just been reduced to a date with a plus two. Wonderful.
“Did you only get salty?” Bucky asks, already eating as you make your way to your seats.
“Of course not,” you say, keeping the second bucket out of his reach. “But we’re sharing these. Every time I trust you with the popcorn they’re mysteriously gone ten minutes into the movie.”
“Ain’t no mystery about it,” Bucky says. “Gimme some.”
“No!” You sit down between him and Sam. “You can wait until the trailer show at least.”
“That might be hours! I could starve by then!” He looks at you with his saddest puppy dog eyes, and it might have worked on you, too, had you not had this exact discussion several times before. “Please?”
You cross your arms over the bucket so that he won’t just reach over. “Nope.”
Sam grins. “You got a ruthless one there, Buck.”
The lights go down before anyone can notice the slight twitch in your expression.
Bucky does make it all the way through the trailer show before he starts shifting in his seat, softly tugging at your sleeve. You keep staring at the screen.
“Come on, sweets,” he whispers and you swear you feel all the hairs in your neck stand up. You don’t turn your head or move your arms. He leans over until his head is basically on your shoulder, his knee nudging yours, his hand sneaking for the bucket in your lap.
“The popcorn. Stays. With me,” you hiss. You’re tempted to slap his fingers away, but you find yourself completely immobilized.
“You said you’d share,” Bucky says into your ear. His entire arm is pressed against yours now, and it takes everything in you not to tremble. “Just let me have what’s mine.”
You can only hope no one will ask you about any particulars of the movie later on.
***
You don’t expect it all to fall apart so soon after that.
“Well,” Darcy says as the five of you huddle underneath the tiny awning in front of the bar. “I sure am glad I still came out tonight.”
It’s pouring down in buckets, the wind tearing at your jackets, the sky pitch black. The nearest subway station is a seven minute walk away, and you share a total of two umbrellas between you, one of them snatched from the lost and found box at Luke’s.
“Any of us going in the same direction?” Misty asks, opening her own umbrella. Sam takes it out of her hand to cover them both.
“Not really,” you answer, looking at Bucky. “Uber?”
He nods. “My phone’s empty, though.”
“Jesus, why isn’t this working?”
You snort, unlocking your phone without looking and pressing it into Bucky’s hand before hurrying to assist Darcy in her fight with the lent umbrella. “You need to hold it against the wind. Seriously, for someone with two PhDs—”
It finally snaps open, cutting off Darcy’s cussing. Her glasses are already blurred with raindrops.
“Well,” Sam says. “We’d offer to wait with you, but I don’t think this is gonna get better any time soon, so …”
“Just go,” you reassure him. “I’m sure we won’t be long, either. Right, Buck?”
“I don’t know,” he says, and the unexpected iciness in his tone makes you turn around slowly.
You have never seen this kind of look on his face, that coldness skewing his beautiful features into an ugly mask. In his eyes, there’s nothing, not even a trace of the fondness that swirled in them less than a minute ago. Your heart drops.
“Are you alright?” you ask softly.
“Great,” he says brusquely, shoving your phone back in your hand. “In fact, I think I might go on a walk.”
And without a word of goodbye, without a second glance, Bucky walks out into the opened floodgates.
For a moment, none of you can do anything but gape after him in disbelief. He doesn’t turn when you call his name, doesn’t seem to hear it at all. His hair is wet through immediately, sticking heavily to his neck, but it’s like he doesn’t notice the rain, his hands shoved into his pockets as he turns a corner and disappears out of your sight.
“What’s wrong with him?” Sam asks, and even though you understand why the question is directed at you, it feels like an accusation.
“I don’t know, I—”
It’s then that you glance at your phone, still opened to your notes app, and your stomach plummets again as you read your own angry, frustrated words. I actually hate you, you know that? Hells even wrong with you.
Your vision blurs.
You want to vomit, vomit or cry or both, but there’s no time.
“Take this,” you say to Darcy, pushing your phone and bag into her startled hands before you run. The wind and rain whip in your face, but you don’t care.
You have to find Bucky. You have to tell him that this is all a misunderstanding, a terrible, terrible error.
Youre such a fucking idiot.
Your boots splash water in all directions as they hit the pavement. Slow. You’re too slow. “Bucky!”
This was a mistake. I shouldve never moved in with you.
When you reach the corner of the street, Bucky is long gone.
***
You’re not sure how long you stand there in the rain before they catch up with you, huddling you between them and their two umbrellas until you stop crying long enough to get into the car they’ve called for you.
Darcy climbs into the seat beside you, and by the look on her face you can tell that this time, she’s read the entire thing.
She doesn’t say anything about it, for once keeping her mouth shut as she fishes for your keys and lets you both into the empty apartment. She’s offered to take you to her place for the night, but you shook your head so vehemently at the thought you got dizzy with it.
Maybe he’d come home. Maybe there’s still a chance to clear this thing up.
But his shoes aren’t there when you stumble through the door, and it’s cold in here. As cold as the look in Bucky’s eyes had been.
Darcy forces you into the shower, and when you get back out, there’s a steaming cup of tea waiting in your favorite mug. Of course, she still doesn’t quite understand why that only makes you cry again.
“I fucked up, didn’t I?” you whisper as she wraps her arms around you.
There’s a long pause before Darcy says, “He’s got no clue what he’s walking away from.”
You don’t plan on moving from the couch, so you get Darcy to agree to use your bed for the night. She seems hesitant to leave you, even if it’s just down the hall. You stay where you are, half-seated and huddled in the patchwork blanket Bucky’s mom had sent from Shelbyville. It smells like dust and homemade cookies.
The hours seem to tick by ever so slowly, and the only noises you hear are those of the city. You doze off every now and then, for no more than a couple of minutes at a time, your head turned towards the hall.
It’s very, very early in the morning when the soft click of the front door wakes you. The rain has reduced to a drizzle, the first hesitant rays of sunshine glimmering through.
“Bucky?” you call out quietly. His steps halt for a moment, as if he’s not expected you to be here, but he comes in anyway.
He looks terrible. The rain has molten off the terrible cold mask, but his expression underneath is even worse. He doesn’t meet your eye, doesn’t even acknowledge you sitting there as he walks past you, his dark circles not quite hiding the shattered, matted blue of his eyes.
He doesn’t react to your saying his name again, and the bathroom door closes behind him before you can get up.
You stand there, unsure what to do next, how to make him look at you, talk to you again. You’re still standing there, twisting your phone between your hands, when he comes out of the bathroom again only to vanish into his bedroom without so much as a glance at you.
Two minutes, you decide. You’d give him two minutes to get dressed and sit down.
The eternity of that time span seemingly flies by, and you make yourself move.
“Bucky?” you say quietly, putting your palm against his door.
Of course, he doesn’t answer. He’s not pacing, either, like he usually does when he’s upset, but in this case, you’re not sure if that’s better or worse. Swallowing hard, you open the door.
Bucky’s sitting on the edge of the bed, as if he’s been waiting for you, his head leaning heavy against his arms. He looks terribly small like this.
“Hi,” you whisper, awkwardly. Your face feels like it’s about to melt off. “Can we talk?”
He lifts his head slowly, as if each degree it takes costs too much energy. When he finally looks at you, it almost makes you flinch.
There’s a sadness inside them, mixed with tiredness, that you’ve only caught in your own reflection.
For a long moment, you just stare at each other, before Bucky finally says, “Do you want me to move out?”
Of all the things you expected, this is not one of them. Particularly not with this hoarseness in his voice.
“I want to explain,” you say, taking a tentative step closer.
Bucky huffs a dry breath, pressing the palm of his hand to his eye. “I think it’s pretty self-explanatory that you think I’m the ‘biggest pain in the ass the world has ever seen’.”
You cross your arms in front of your chest to keep them from shaking. “I know I wrote that, but I—Colleen said I should—that it would help.”
“Help what?”
“Make it easier,” you say, so, so quietly, but he still hears you.
“And did it?”
You shake your head slowly, uncrossing your arms. “It pretty much backfired.” You unlock your phone again. “You see, I was supposed to write down all the things you did that made me crazy, but at some point … at some point I started adding the things that made me crazy about you.”
Nothing but confusion in Bucky’s eyes as he stares at you, then at your phone. “What are you saying?” he asks softly.
You close your eyes. “You should continue reading.”
Your hands are trembling so hard now he has to take the phone from your hands to make out any of the words. The silence that follows is unbearable, but you don’t dare look at him. So you talk.
“Like, remember when you went to IKEA with Steve and I couldn’t come with you, so you got me one of those shark plushies and a whole almond cake?” You can’t help but chuckle, even though you don’t feel like it. “I tried reading into that for so long, if it was his idea or if I just got stuck in your mind.”
Bucky doesn’t say anything, so you continue, still not opening your eyes.
“Or when Dot used to stay over and you’d make me an extra batch of waffles to make sure I wouldn’t feel left out. Or when we stayed up until 4 to make those Christmas cookies, even though it was September?”
He huffs again. “I broke up with her that day.”
You do look at him, then. “No, you didn’t.”
Bucky’s still staring at the list on your phone. “I brought her the last of her stuff before Valentine’s Day. I don’t think it’d hit her before then, that she could be nasty about it all now.”
His eyes are very blue again when he turns them towards you, clear and focused entirely on you. It’s hard to keep your knees from buckling.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
And there it is. The question that’s been haunting you for almost two years now, that’s been unspoken in Natasha’s gaze and in Darcy’s hug, even though they knew the answer.
Because you’re a coward.
“You’re my best friend, Buck,” you say quietly, your eyes burning. “I just didn’t … I don’t want to lose that.”
“Hey.” He stands in front of you before you even notice him moving, his hands cupping your face and turning it towards his. A shuddering breath falls from your lips. “You,” Bucky continues, “could never, ever do anything to lose me.”
“I almost did today,” you whisper and his face falls.
“I’m sorry I ran away.”
You shake your head and he pulls you into an embrace. His hair is still damp, but soft from his shower. He doesn’t smell like city rain, only the way he always does. As if it all had never happened.
And when he finally draws back to look at you with that glint in his eye, hands still loosely gripping your waist, it almost feels like a bad dream.
“So,” he says, and the cadence in his voice makes your heart stutter. You inadvertently move backwards, out of his grasp, and a wicked grin appears on Bucky’s lips. It’s impossible to look away. “She ‘didn’t deserve me’, huh?”
“She didn’t,” you say warily, watching him. He takes a step closer and you retreat.
“At least she never ‘wanted to burn all my shirts’.”
“And how would you know?” He’s still coming closer. “Just because no one’s done it …” You trail off.
Bucky hums. “No one’s ever told me my eyes ‘look criminal in this light’, either. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”
“Bad,” you say, wincing as you bump into his dresser. “So bad.”
He’s very close to you now, his arms trapping you on both sides, towering over you. Your eyes flit between his own and his lips. That freckle.
The look on his face reminds you of late evenings on a fire escape.
Bucky’s nose bumps against yours, once, twice, as if testing the waters. You don’t think you can breathe. His eyes are so dark when he looks at you, the longing suddenly bursting through the surface, and you realize you’ve both been pretending for far too long.
His brows are knitted slightly, contemplative, as if he’s trying to commit you to memory. If he weren’t standing so close, you’d be shaking.
“Oh, sweetheart,” he murmurs, and the words explode into a million butterflies in your stomach. “You did get stuck in my head.”
And then he kisses you.
The rain stops.
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fineanddandy · 2 years
Text
B*tch Made
Summary: Working in the same firm as your ex and your new secret boo can be…difficult…complicated…
Relationship: paralegal!Rio x black!lawyer!reader x Andy Barber
Smut prompt: “we’re just friends”
Warnings: graphic language, threesome, alcohol, sharing, choking, spanking, unprotected sex, male masturbation, exhibitionism, S M U T whew, 18+
A/N: man y’all ready for foolery?! I wrote this a whole month before my challenge was originally planned for…then got impatient and decided to drop everything sooner than later. So I was fuckin around, spinning the wheels for fun, just to see what characters would come up and let me tell you…when Andy and Rio came up as winners, I RAN WITH IT. I’m proud of this smut. I really can’t believe how quickly I wrote this. Idk why I keep giving Evans the shit end of the stick 😂 god this is fun. I really hope you guys enjoy this. This is my only entry for the collection.
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“Good morning Ms Y/L/N.”
Eight a.m. and all the phones are already ringing off the hook, the offices already so alive and busy as Rio saunters in yours in his uniformed black dress shirt and slim cut black trousers. Checking your emails, you cheerfully greet,
“Rio, Morning. Do you have my—,”
He holds out several folders before you and your cup of coffee with his clever little smirk. Always a step or two ahead just to impress the boss. Meeting his simmering gaze with a suppressed grin, you take them from his slim tattooed fingers with a small,
“Thanks. And my—,”
“Your eleven o’clock mediation has been moved to tomorrow.” He promptly answers with his chin held high, he knows you love it when he’s on top of shit. “Barber is asking to meet with you though. Would you like me to tell him to fuck off?” The sharp corner of his brow gradually raises.
“Rio.” You snort, taking a drink from your mug as you shake your head. “No, and that’s not very professional sir.”
Ignoring you, he sits along the edge of your desk, tugging his rolled up sleeves up his forearms, and you know what you’re in for, closing the file you’re looking in as you lean back in your chair. “Between us girls, he’s a piece of shit.”
As if that wasn’t shared knowledge between the two of you but you guys’ still have to work together. So you have to act accordingly.
“If you’re going to talk shit, could you at least close my door?” You mumble along the rim of your mug, casually pointing at your door wide open, everyone hustling about. Rio nonchalantly glances back over his shoulder.
“Why, afraid he’ll hear?” His smirk turns sinister as he leans over your desk. “Y’know I’ll say whatever I feel like to his face, right.”
Yeah, yeah you know you’ve been there for every passive aggressive stand off and dick measuring contest. Rio can’t stand Andy for a few reasons, and one of them was because Andy was your weak ex who still had a thing for you even though he’s married. He’d broken your heart when he met Laurie, and Rio didn’t like the way Andy had so casually dumped you. Also, Andy had locked him away a few years ago but had gotten out on good behavior, especially when Rio decided he’d go into law.
What a better way to rehabilitate himself. If he was going to do the crime, he should at least learn the fucked off judicial system. With all his charm and wit, Rio worked something out with the judge to be employed by one of the best legal teams in the city. The one that prosecuted him at that, just to rub it in Andy’s face. But he was a good ass paralegal, and the best one you’d ever had working for you. You’d taken a liking to Rio. Outside all of his petty crimes and beneath all of his tattoos, he’s super smart, and super serious about his job. You two quickly hit it off his first day, becoming friends while everyone in the office tried to shun him due to his criminal past. Only you could see he was really trying to change, and with the help of Rio’s suave mannerisms, everyone else in the office couldn’t help but love him in the end. Well except for your bitter ass ex boyfriend.
“Whenever you’re done runnin your mouth, can you go let Andy know I’m available?”
He sighs all dramatically standing off your desk to get to work. “If you insist boss lady...”
“Rio.”
“Barber.”
As soon as he walked up, the air sparked with their fiery tension. Andy could only see him as the sleazeball drug dealer who didn’t deserve to be here, or so close to you and Rio could only see him as this corny white bread punk ass bitch who didn’t deserve an ounce of love or affection you ever gave him. Hell you could feel their tension from the other side of your closed door it’s that bad. So many times you’ve had to intervene their heated arguments so they wouldn’t mutate into full blown fist fights. Rio knew too much about Andy’s fuck ups and Andy knew too much about Rio’s. They made the office environment interesting. Andy would do anything to get him out of here if he could, but you stay defending Rio. It’s not like you had to do much; beside their drama, he had a good reputation and good standings with the bosses so Andy’s complaints always fell on deaf ears. That only fueled his animosity towards him.
“Is she ready for me?” His question is layered with innuendo Rio brushes off with a bored eye roll, picking up the phone to properly inform you that he’s waiting on you. Hate that he’s ignoring him, Andy implores, “bet she’s wearing something real cute huh…”
“Ms. Y/L/N, a little bitch is out here to see you.” Rio hangs up the phone and smiles up at him. “You can go ahead,” instantly he drops the act with his classic scowl, going back to work and instead of rebutting, Andy turns away on his heel until he hears a quiet, “…with your bitch ass…” from him looking at his computer screen.
“The fuck did you just say?!” Andy balls up a fist.
“Barber!” You swung your door open in the nick of time, snapping Andy’s attention back towards your office while Rio sits unbothered doing his work. You beckon him in with a wave of your fingers and a stern glare. “Let’s go.”
“You need to do something about him YN,” he demands stomping into your office behind you. “You can’t keep allowing him to talk to me any type of way.” He aggressively shuts the door, the noise of the slam startling some of the folks sitting at their desks. Rio just hums a smirk he loves getting under his skin.
Plopping down into your chair with a tired sigh, you rest your elbows on the arms and fold your fingers together just as unbothered as Rio out there. You don’t give a rat’s ass about how he talked to Andy like that from time to time, maybe because you’re still in your feelings about how he broke up with you. If anything you found it quite humorous.
“It’s been addressed Andy,” you motion for him to sit, leaving it at that, “what’s up what do you want.”
Blowing out a frustrated breath, he sits jaw all rigid, soothing his hands over his pants trying to calm down. “Need your help on that homicide case. You know the one where the wife killed her husband’s mistress…”
“Allegedly.” You correct with a small grin, wrapping both hands around the warmth of your favorite mug, but you both know she did that shit and you don’t blame her. Quite frankly, you know this case it’s been one of your favorites to observe so helping him out won’t be an issue…but this part will… “I’ll let Rio know so he can be prepared to stay a little late tonight.”
You sit your mug back down on the desk and reach for your keyboard just as Andy dryly groans, cradling his forehead. He should have known.
“Does your lapdog have to join us?” His complaint is muffled by his massive hands.
You damn near laugh in his face. Lapdog. Resting your arms along your desk, you tease, “Mmm I just love the taste of your resentment first thing in the morning.” He pops his mouth open to say something smart but you shut him down with a stiff hand. “Whether you like him or not Andy, Rio’s fuckin amazing at his job and knows this case backwards and forwards just like us. So, get the fuck over yourself. He will be assisting us because we need him.”
Andy’s tight about it but he doesn’t want to cross you so he puts his ego to the side, standing from the chair as he straightens up his tie. Casting his glare down at you all smug behind your desk. Always protecting your damn goon he can’t fuckin stand it.
“So if there’s nothing else…”
Up to no good Rio opens your office door, signaling that his time is up with an evil grin he can’t resist.
“See you later then.” He grumbles as he takes his leave, killing Rio with his eyes as he shuffles on out to some of the other receptionists avert their amused glints. You and Rio chuckle and shake your heads.
“Rio, can you—?”
But he already knows, closing the door as he assures you, “Not a problem boss lady.”
There wasn’t much conversation amongst the three of you working which was beneficial because then it didn’t take long to knock it all out. Means you didn’t have to referee any arguments between the two men who kept cutting each other with their menacing glares. You need all the heavy drinks after a few hours in the same room at these two hot heads. As you and Andy wrap up, collecting organizing notes and files, Rio slips out to retrieve a bottle of tequila you liked to keep hidden in his desk for late nights in the office. Like this one. Clinking shot glasses fixed between his long fingers he wiggles his eyebrows as you laugh, helping him sit everything down.
“Oh hell yeah Rio. You fuckin mind reader.”
“Anything for you boss lady.” He murmurs behind his snaky grin, filling two tiny glasses to the brim. Andy grunts, stuffing his work in his briefcase then loosens the knot of his tie. Rio darts a slick side eye over at him and his shitty ass attitude. Probably needs a shot to get that stick out of his ass.
“What’s up Barber? You in or you gon’ stay bitch made…”
“Rio…” you warn with a crooked grin, kicking your heels beneath your desk as you glance over at Andy snarling. “Just pour him a shot.”
“Yes ma’am.” Tequila hits the glass.
“Sure got him well trained bunny…” Andy snatches the glass off the table, out of Rio’s reach and you look over confused as to why he called you your old pet name. Rio wondering the same as he slowly turned his chin.
“Andy.”
Rio is never phased by his smart remarks. “Well…if you learn from the best, you become the best. Right boss lady?” Raising his glass, he sets his sights back on you with a whimsical smile, “salud conejita.” And he dares Andy to say something else as you all take the shot, glaring each other down as agave burns your chest and throat just right. The second you slam your glass back down on your desk you’re reaching for the bottle. Andy and Rio protesting to take it easy but it’s been a long night with them already…and only going to get longer.
Few rounds go by and you and Rio are buddied up, laughing and talking while a rosy cheeked Andy observes from across your office. He knew you two to be friendly but not that chummy. You guys had inside jokes and Rio can make you laugh so hard. He’d never seen Rio smile so big around the office. Clearly you two have a far more serious connection that Andy realized and your interactions had him wondering what exactly is going on between you guys. You always played favorites with him; out of any and every paralegal that’s ever come through the office, you treat him like the golden child and treated everyone else like a fill in. What was it about him that had you so captivated by him?
Andy had to admit he was a little jealous of Rio; honestly all the women in the office adored him. Always in the middle of a huddle of secretaries giving out advice, whether romantic or legal, and running to him with gossip. All Andy could see when he looked at him was a felon. A sleazy criminal. He felt good getting him convicted, but he’ll never forget the look in Rio’s eye as they ushered him out the courtroom, like it wasn’t the last Andy would see of him. Still gives him that same look to this day…as if this was his plan all along.
“God I’m starving.” You gripe, opening UberEats for something you could pick up nearby since everyone’s a little too drunk to drive. Rio takes your phone from you and says,
“I got it. We can order from that Chinese place you like up the street.”
Tapping away at your screen he stumbles out the room, announcing he’ll be right back with food for everyone. Leaving you alone with tipsy bitter Andy staring at you pour some more tequila in your glass. Still grinning and chuckling about whatever you and Rio were talking about as you take a long sip. With him gone, the air in the room felt lighter and he was tempted to get up and go sit beside you but you guys haven’t been that close for a long time now. Andy can’t help himself sometimes he lets his steamy gaze fall over your body as you worked around him, imagining you naked on top of him or getting dressed in the morning, hearing your sinful moans in his ears. He wasn’t unhappy with his wife, but there’s something about you Andy really missed.
“So what’s up with you and your little secretary.”
He finds himself sitting next to you anyway, draping his arm behind you.
Sighing an uneasy grin you scoot away from his warmth. “What’s it to you?” As far as your concerned, it’s none of his business what’s transpired between you and Rio…
Andy frowns at you putting space between you two. “Seems more than just…coworkers being chummy…”
“Oh god Andy we’re just friends,” you snicker dismissing him, “Are you not tired of being so…jealous?” You roll your eyes at him acting all appalled by the accusation but what else can you call it? “You’ve moved on Andy. I’m none of your concern.”
You’re right about that but he can’t help but be so territorial with you, especially when it comes to him being so personally close to you. Rio finishes your thoughts, knows exactly what you want all the time, makes you happy.
“Sure, you’re none of my concern bunny but doesn’t mean that I don’t want to protect you…” Andy grips and massages at the back of your tense neck, kneading at your tight muscles as you softly moan, hanging your head as you close your eyes, “that I don’t want you…”
Damn you missed Andy’s strength, his fingertips firmly rolling up and down the curve of your neck. Every muscle in your body relaxes as he massages your enflamed skin, listening to your breaths getting heavier and harder, pulling you in closer.
“Told you I don’t fuck married men.” But you softly place your manicured hands on his thick thigh tempted to search out his dick but you didn’t to go any further. Desperately fighting all the dirty memories but your mind’s too weak from all the tequila. Andy’s got you where he wants you he can feel it in your slouched shoulders, your nervous hand absent-mindlessly sliding up towards his hot crotch.
Andy rests his moist lips right against the canal of your ear and whispers, “we can forget…”
You gasp and squeeze his inner thigh as he laps at your neck, sighing in sweet relief tasting your goosebumped skin. Whimpering out his name, you fist his throbbing cock, leaning into his wet mouth as he moans, sloppily kissing his way to your parted lips. Head swimming, tequila sloshing around misconstrues all your common sense. You meet his mouth with a needy moan, sinking your tongue as far as it can go and Andy flips you over his lap, reaching underneath your dress for your damp folds. He already knows you’re not wearing any panties, grinning to himself when the tips of his fingers barely brush your slit and a chill scatters down on your spine.
“Oh fuck Andy…” you breathlessly cry into his puckered lips, feeling two digits puncture through your entrance with a silent slick sound. If you were a little clearer you wouldn’t be unbuttoning his pants. You would consider his wife. You would consider Rio discovering you two.
Andy whispers, “Holy shit I love your pussy,” then steals your trembling lips as he steadily pumps you, waiting for you to pull his excited cock out. So sticky wet he can’t wait to smell like you fuck what his wife has to say. You roll your thumb over the stiff tip, pulling him out blazing hot as Andy wiggles out of his pants a bit. Promptly he removes his soiled fingers and shoves them in your mouth, sucking them clean as you take a seat on his perfectly thick dick. “Jesus fuck! Oh my god that’s it…that’s it baby you never forget how to fuck me huh…”
You wish it were a lie. Rocking your hips back and forth, over and under, you fist Andy’s hair, rest your forehead against his and fuck him like you used to. The bittersweet taste of your juices overwhelm your tastebuds, mouth watering, humming your rough moans around his fat knuckles until he yanks them out covered in your saliva to play with your sensitive clit.
“God fuck you Andy!” You whine out loud, scratching his scalp as you toss your head back. Your limbs shuddering. Your folds convulsing around his veiny cock stroking your dripping wet hole. Gasping for air you work him harder, faster, as he attacks your clit with rapid little circles. “Fuck…you…ah shit!”
He’d always felt so damn amazing deep in your guts, and you know you shouldn’t even be letting him inside you after all this time but fuck you enjoy being reminded how good of a fuck he was. Panting tired breaths and gasping obscenities into each other’s open mouths, Andy flutters amidst your beating walls, slamming your jiggling ass cheeks down into his reddening hairy thighs.
“God you feel so good.” His words are hushed wincing back the burning tears.
Shaking your head you whine in return, “you too Andy…”
Just not as good as…
“What are you doing in my pussy Barber.”
Enters Rio, sitting the Chinese to go bag on your desk. Andy’s frozen in fear but you don’t bother stopping riding him out with a twisted smile.
“Your pussy?!” He can’t take his surprised blue eyes off Rio smirking, walking over to you still bouncing on his confused cock.
“Should have known if I left you alone…” Rio murmurs kissing your cheek, never breaking his heated focus on Andy stunned beyond belief. He fuckin knew it… “Can’t control yourself can you…” He bites his plump bottom lip at him as he wraps his inked hand around the front of your throat.
“Mmm…he started it baby…” Rio tightens his grip and you smile and groan, filling yourself with Andy as you wind your hips round and round and he can’t help but call out your name.
“Should I let him finish?” His question’s dark and sinister, voice rich and low as he snuggles into you, “Or should I show him how you really liked to be fucked, huh conejita…”
His evil smirk curls as Andy narrows his fiery glare, catching on that he’s calling you his nickname and challenging him while you’re trying to fuck him stupid.
Casting your malicious dark gaze down on him all orgasmic and conflicted, you bite back a wicked smile debating Andy’s fate. “Mmm,” you moan tortuously sliding up and down his length as you squeeze around him, turning your chin to nuzzle your nose and lips against Rio’s beard whispering, “let’s give his bitch ass a show.”
Together you and Rio smile harder and share a sly chuckle, you kissing him on his scruffy cheek as he keeps staring at Andy, taunting him as you tease him with your timid strokes.
“Damn…” he smacks his pretty lips, “sucks for you Barber. Lady’s made her choice.” Rio begins to pull you off Andy by the throat. “Little bitches don’t get to cum…ain’t that right boss lady.”
Slowly nodding with a bitten malicious smile, you wrap Andy’s tie around your fingers as you stand, faintly crying out when his wildly throbbing cock pops out of your creamy hole.
“Right baby.” Tugging on his tie, Andy’s mesmerized following you pulling him up out of his seat. “Down on your knees Barber.” You order, tugging him down to the floor as Rio feels up the front of your dress, gripping your tits and pinching your nipples. Andy gulps a shaky moan as he falls to his knees, wet dick still out, lightly glaring up at two intensely looking down at him with terrorizing glints.
“Can’t believe you two are fuck—,”
A rough pull at his fancy tie shuts him up, bending over to remind him, “I told you…none of your fuckin concern…”
Rio hums a snicker as he reaches between your slick thighs for your hungry pussy, moaning to himself when he sinks his slim middle finger inside. “Face down, ass up conejita.”
Looking deep into Andy’s tortured soul, you dramatically drop your jaw and cry out Rio’s name in his face, pulling him closer into your noisy mouth before you slam a harsh kiss onto his rigid lips. Releasing his tie some, you climb onto the couch with Rio still gently finger fuckin you with one hand, as the other goes for his zipper and fly. You rest your cheek onto the cushion, face to face with Andy so pissed you two are running him like this, that you lied about fucking your subordinate, and that he’s so ridiculously hard it hurts. Your eyes so big and pitiful as you beg Rio to fuck you looking deep into Andy’s shaky blue eyes. Tired of your complaints, he pops you several times on the ass and your shouts makes Andy’s dick jump.
“Bet you like that Barber. Like it when she sounds like a pathetic little slut? Miss that shit don’t you…” You shout in Andy’s face again, fist his silky tie as Rio slaps at your puffy folds and his dick drips precum. “Conejita malo…begging for me when you were just fuckin your ex…” He tsks and spanks your ass again, leaving behind a solid red hand print in your smooth cocoa butter skin. Andy tries to press back a whimper.
“But I want you baby…” You crack a sad whimper, feeding Andy your somber longing for another man.
Rio soothes where he inflicted you and asks, “And why’s that…” grinning down at your pussy fluttering like crazy around the fat head of his dick teasing at your entrance, “tell Barber…”
Rio barely nudges himself inside and you mewl out in agony, “because I love your dick baby!”
“That’s right conejita…tan bueno...tan buen conejito…” He pushes another girthy two inches inside your quivering walls and you yank a choking Andy closer to you breaking Rio teasing you both. “Hear that Barber?” Rio gasps trying to catch his breath before he shoves the rest of his dick inside you dripping onto the seat below. But Andy won’t address his questions, just keeps gawking at you all weak beneath the man he fuckin despises. And that irritates Rio. “Maybe you should scream it louder!”
Simultaneously, he fists your roots and pile drives his cock so deep inside, burning all your nerve endings as you scream for a visibly frustrated Andy, “LOVE YOUR DICK RIO!”
And it brings him so much joy he lowly growls, “fuck yes you do,” going so hard on your tired little pussy, darkly chuckling at you crying out every time he snaps you forward, Andy darting his infuriated eyes between you and him. “Oh fuck yes baby milk my cock just like that…my baby…my conejita.” He cackles at Andy cutting his eyes fuming. “Like that Barber? Like that she’s my little bunny? Beat this pussy up so good she don’t even think about you.”
You inhale a painfully sharp gasp. “Ugh god fuck!”
His wrinkled tie is wrapped so tightly around your fingers the tips are ghostly white from the lack of circulation. Andy’s so close to you he can taste the satisfaction off your raspy pleas, dying to grip his sore dick absolutely pounding you look so goddamn satiated. Drooling and weeping, you take Rio so well…Andy can’t take his eyes off you considering he’s pushing his buttons with all the shit he’s talking. Sure he missed being the one who made you all heavenly sweet and docile, but watching you like this is just as blissful, even if it’s this smug asshole that’s in his place. Rio relinquishes your tender scalp and presses his trembling hand into the small of your back, dipping you lower to the seat to hit that sweet spot that gets you ready to run. He rolls his head back with a rich pleasured groan, holding you still, smiling up at the ceiling.
“Nunca podría follarte como papi…right boss lady…”
You can’t take it, your free hand grappling the arm of the couch as you shrill, “Fuck no Rio fuck! FUCK!” This angle is always so overwhelming but it’s y’all’s fuckin favorite. His hands so strong into your spine he anchors a foot to pump you even harder. Andy’s humming back all his tortured whimpers, nuzzling his nose along yours and you hear them, which only fuckin makes you even wetter. You really wanted to hear him wail like the little bitch he is but he’s too proud. Didn’t want to show Rio any pleasure.
“En Espanol conejita.” He barks tearing another vicious slap into your bruised ass cheek.
“No papi no...” you sputter quietly into Andy’s dry parted lips, tears burn trails down your twitchy cheeks, “él nunca podría...eres el mejor de todos. Oh dios...Rio...no te detengas papi fuck me.”
Andy huffs a hard sigh, momentarily shutting his eyes, mentally recording how fragile you sound putting him down. He didn’t have to understand Spanish to know you’re saying he ain’t shit compared to Rio. And yet, he’s still so sorely erect, wishing you’d grant him some sort of relief he’s so fuckin miserable, pissed off and outrageously horny. Rio’s eating his misery up with an awry smirk, getting off to his pain and your feeble moans. He almost laughs at how pathetic he looks god what a fuckin loser. So satisfied, so aroused he’d been waiting to rub it in his face that he was banging you out.
“Translation Barber? I’m King Dick.” He boasts, falling out of your creamy mess with a distressed moan, and he takes ahold of his soaking wet skin, giving himself a breather as he teases your sloppy wet clit with just the tip, “I run this pussy…and this pussy runs me. Fuck doesn’t she…” he lovingly sighs down at you swollen but drenched, stroking his dick with a small shake of his head, “She didn’t want you to know, wanted to protect your little fuckin feelings…but since you keep trying me, this is how you have to find out I’m diggin your girl’s guts out. And she fuckin can’t get enough of me…”
Rio’s relentless teasing was really wearing Andy thin, and he wanted to say something but you jerk on his tie to regain his attention on you fighting for your breath. Let Rio have his fun but you wanted to see a side of Andy that you know is here with you now. Not ideal but if he really wants to please you, he’ll do what you ask of him. Slumped, lids tired, you mutter,
“Touch yourself Andy…” and delicately peck his jumpy lips. “You know you want to…”
A loud moan catches you off guard as Rio shoves his way back through your sore walls interrupting your little moment. Andy hesitates, his broad palm hovering over his needy dick. Tempted…but not with him watching…
“Fuck YN…”
Your loving whimpers are the only motivation he needs to fist his cock with a longing hiss. Break time’s over Rio’s back workin double overtime, chasing after his own high with desperate little grunts. Andy can’t help but match the rhythm of his rigorous strokes, their chorus of erotic grumbling in complete unison. You’d never heard something so beautiful in your life.
“Feels good right?” You cry as you and Andy lock lips, tongues dancing between vibrating mewls. “Can’t help but love watching me getting fucked stupid.”
His big shoulders tremble, his chest heaves as he feverishly nods. “So incredibly weak for you…”
“No surprise there.” Rio taunts between hasty breaths, “bet his wife’s pussy dry as fuck.”
“She’ll never be as good as you.” Andy ardently confesses, groaning out he’s so close to losing himself all over the floor. But Rio refuses to let him be the one who cums first so he reaches around for your buzzing clit.
“Oh god Rio!” You choke nearly jumping out of his hand but he slams you back in position, strumming at your clit, snickering at your meager howling. Andy drastically falters, his load surging up his convulsing cock you sound so good and he feels so damn good he almost hates himself. “Oh my god Rio I can’t!”
“Así es...dámelo baby fuck.” He callously moans in your ear, gritting his teeth trying to correlate his big moment with yours, “Muéstrale quién es tu dueño…”
You go to push Rio’s hand from between your legs but Andy snatches you by the wrist, pinning you back down yelping a sad whimper. “No. Fuckin take it bunny.”
If he has to take this punishment for breaking your heart, then you should take the relentless beating Rio’s giving you. Toes curling and going numb, your clipped affirming shouts pick up in pace. Andy’s fucking himself so hard, crying your name. Rio’s got you where he wants you, textured walls sucking his load up to the achy head of his cock, just in time for you two simultaneously combust. Andy bellows out all sorts of curse words, cumming shortly after you and Rio spasming and catching your breaths laid out on the sofa. Still emptying out inside your worn out cunt, Rio softly whispers sweet nothings in your ear, petting back your hair as he looks on at Andy completely disheveled. Your mouth and throat so dry you choke and your eyelids so heavy you swear you’re going to pass out; Rio’s soothing voice wasn’t helping either, confirming how good you are as Andy’s dazzling eyes come in and and out of focus. You’re absolutely done for.
“Lucky she still likes you Barber...” Rio pushes himself off you, pulling out his drained cock to watch his cum ooze out. “Still let you get off to her…but then again, my girl loves to be worshipped…”
Suddenly you’re alert with a fragile moan, feeling his fingertips carefully circle your sore hole to play in your combined juices.
“Want some?” He offers Andy with a playful wink stretching his long arm up to your parched mouth. “Swear we taste so fuckin good together.”
Finally free of your hold, he pops his tie from around his collar. “Think I’m good…” Andy frets stuffing his sensitive member back in his pants. Just then his phone rings over on your desk. Rio pops his sticky wet fingers from your tight lips.
“Uh oh…looks like someone’s in trouble…” he smirks helping your frail body up, “better run along Barber. Don’t want her getting all suspicious…working late nights with your ex and all…”
Rio holds you closely into his side, you guys snuggling and mocking Andy talking to Laurie all hushed and shit on the phone. Rio was right though she was asking him too many pointless questions about you; he does his best to pacify her as he collects his things, ignoring two all cozy while he’s got a make a quick exit, tail tucked between his legs. Office dynamics are about to change now that Rio’s made a fool of him. All his slick shit is out the fuckin window now. Andy better come correct from here on out or he’ll remind him who the fuck he is. God watching him go all conflicted and butt hurt has got Rio ready to go again, his cock growing in the palm of your weak hand.
“See you bright and early tomorrow Barber.” Rio bids him farewell, tossing your legs over his lap for another round. “You might be a little late though…” He mumbles up under your jawline, grabbing ahold of your hips to ease you down his length. “Not done with you yet…”
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papersirens · 8 months
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Hid Behind Those Eyes
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-ˋˏ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ɪs ɴʙ / ᴀᴏ3 ᴠᴇʀsɪᴏɴ / ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀʟɪsᴛ / ᴡᴄ: 1728 ˏˋ-
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Warnings: Angst, lying, mentions of death,  canon timeline, trust issues, Gojo doesn't take things seriously
AN: Good evening Gojo Nation :) I present angst to thee, pls enjoy
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18+ Blog only! Minors DNI!
Satoru has always been a mystery to you. No matter how close you get to him, how many nights you spend cuddling in bed whispering in the dark, dinner dates that end in you confessing your deepest and darkest secrets after too many drinks. Everything he tells you is calculated, planned out and always feels like he’s leaving something out of his details. Questioning him doesn’t usually lead anywhere as he changes the topic or forces you to forget what you were asking through a series of kisses or tickles. 
Trust is a big driving force for all successful relationships, a mutual understanding that you tell each other the truth as much as possible. 
Yet you’ve  caught him in so many lies that it should be difficult to trust a word he says anymore. Mostly it’s about his work or what he’s doing; first he was a chef, but then forced to admit he wasn’t after cooking you the worst meal you’ve ever had. Then he claimed he was a lawyer, something you barely believed but gave him the benefit of the doubt on. Satoru knew all the terms and actually had you going for a few months, that was until you called the office he supposedly worked at during an emergency when he wasn’t answering his phone. After that, he tried to convince you he was actually a doctor and didn’t want you knowing how successful he truly was. 
Safe to say you did not believe that one for a second. 
Something keeps nagging at you ever since then on what he’s hiding from you. What he really does for work, how he can afford his house and live comfortably, splurge on you whenever you’re together. Money is never an issue for him and he’s typically busy unless there are planned days off. Satoru told you with a sigh he just has an office job, on his knees as he pleads with you to believe him. You feel like a fool for going along with it when the numbers don’t add up, an idiot that looks the other way whenever he lies after showing up to your front door with a dozen roses and fancy chocolates. 
Usually these thoughts are the last thing on your mind when Satoru is with you, distracted by him enough to not even blink an eye at his obvious lies. You’ve stopped asking him about his days at work or what he does, your stomach churning with each lie he spews. 
Yet as you sit in his lap, his half hard cock that’s digging into your thigh and big hands creeping towards your ass, you can’t stop thinking about the truth behind Satoru Gojo. Who he really was; where the lies start and end, how much he has really been lying to you. You want to believe it’s just about his work but as you carefully pull away his glasses, there’s something else. 
Hidden behind those eyes, there’s something you should know. 
Satoru knew there was something wrong; however, he didn’t want to acknowledge it. Normally you’re all smiles and love when together, and he doesn’t want to disrupt that if he can. Being with you is the only time he can feel normal, like someone who doesn’t have the weight of the world on his shoulders. Yet his chest tightens as you stare into his eyes, stunning blue gazing right back, realising you’re looking for something. It’s not physically clear that Satoru isn’t like you, though that fact doesn’t stop his throat from closing. 
“You okay?” He asked after long, trying not to become nervous under your gaze. It’s odd that you’re the only person to make him feel like this, so small beneath you. 
Your eyes don’t shift from him, humming in response but scrutinising him still. “I feel like I don’t know you.” 
Satoru swallows before grinning wide, squeezing your hips tight and placing a kiss on the corner of your lips. “Of course you know me, I’m your boyfriend — you know me better than anyone.” 
Just because he says it doesn’t change how you feel, your gaze unchanging. “Yeah, but I feel like you’re still lying to me.” 
“Babe not this again,” Satoru groans as he throws back his head onto the couch. As he pulls back up and adjusts his sitting position to wrap his arms around you better, he adds “I told you before, I only lied to you before because I was ashamed. Nothing else has been a lie.” 
His face is buried in your chest as he squeezes you to him, hoping he can squeeze the topic out of you. While you think he might be talking the truth, your trust with him is still rocky. You want nothing more than to believe him, continue with your life and relationship with Satoru, but there’s a voice that won’t leave you alone. A nagging tone telling you to question him, look into his eyes and see exactly what he’s hiding from you. 
“Where do you really work?” 
Instead of responding to you, Satoru remained pressed against your chest and groaned, rocking his hips into you lazily. It was an obvious attempt at a distraction that wasn’t going to work, your hands threading through his hair and tugging him away as you huff. “‘Toru, answer me.”
“An office, nothing special.” He mumbled before leaning in to bury his face into your neck instead, kissing and sucking the  sensitive skin. 
“Satoru! Stop!” 
Thankfully he did as you told him, detaching himself from your neck but throwing his head back on the couch with a groan again. Turning his head to the side to look at you through lidded eyes, he ran an index finger along your sternum. 
“What can I do to make you believe me?”
“Tell me the truth.”
Satoru rolled his eyes and groaned. “I am telling you the truth!” 
“Take me to your office.” You demand, grabbing his wrist to stop his hand. “It’s Wednesday right? It’ll be open, show me around.” 
“No, it’s my day off. I want to hang out with you.” 
You frown at his response, not happy with the answer. “I knew you were lying.” 
He groaned and threw his hands over his eyes in exasperation. “I'm not lying, can you just stop this?” 
This was the usual song and dance you both performed, an argument that leads you both to be exhausted and frustrated with one another. Something about it this time had you feeling more affected than normal, chest tight and eyes watering with frustration as you looked at him. You can’t figure out why he’s lying to you, where the Gojo Satoru that he shows you ends and the real Gojo Satoru begins. He knows almost everything about you, why can’t you know everything about him? 
In reality, Satoru wishes he could tell you. It breaks his heart whenever he has to lie to you, see the cogs turning in your head as you connect the dots of his false statement, a frown set on your face as you decide to accept his tall tales. Dating a non-sorcerer is dangerous, being a sorcerer is dangerous. Satoru has seen many deaths of good people, curses of all kinds and lost people he loves in this word due to jujutsu society, he doesn’t want you to get involved in any way lest he lose you too. 
Sadly, you can’t see or understand that. 
“Go.” You state firmly, climbing from his lap and out of his grip. Sitting on the couch next to him, you curl in on yourself. “I don’t want to see you.” 
For a moment, Satoru doesn’t move. He watches you and attempts to figure out if you’re being serious or not. “Do you really want me to go?” 
The only answer he got was his glasses thrown back at him. Tears flowing freely down your face and choked back sobs before he’d even stood up. Satoru watched you for a moment, contemplating if he should do as you asked or try and talk through this. You were so worked up and he’s never been the greatest with words. Your heart ached in betrayal while his had shattered after you aggressively threw his hand away from touching your knee. 
“I said I don’t want to see you, Gojo!” 
If you’d have watched him stand to leave, you might have laughed; looking like a kicked puppy as he slowly inched towards the exit of your living room and towards the front door, looking back at you and waiting to see if you’ll change your mind. He didn’t want to leave, Satoru felt like he was abandoning you while you’re upset, but respected your decision and quietly closed the door behind him. 
It’s a few days before you hear from Satoru again, in the form of a text message that simply reads ‘Sorry’. It took you a while to respond to the simple message, somehow still having tears left to cry after the non-stop stream. There still wasn’t an answer to your question, though. Your anger bubbled back to the surface as you kept yourself away from your phone. If you reply in such a heightened emotional state, you might ruin things worse than he has already. 
‘Satoru, I swear, please just tell me the truth.’
There wasn’t a reply for a few hours, the entire time spent crying to yourself as you tore apart the apartment in paranoid frustration. Anything your mind could create ran through your thoughts, the worst possible ideas of what his job could be. In the mafia, a criminal yet to be caught, something even more sinister that you have yet to figure out. There’s a reason he won’t tell you, but you’re not smart enough to figure it out. 
‘I can’t. It’s for your own protection.’
‘Wtf does that mean!’ 
A few hours with no response turned into a few days, a few weeks and then a month. Satoru never responded to your texts, calls, answered the door of his home — or even looked to be home. It made you feel sick to have to accept this was likely the end; you’ll never speak to Satoru again after having to deal with his lies. You just wanted to know the truth, get to know who your boyfriend truly was. 
Instead, you’re sitting on your own Halloween night drinking a bottle of wine to yourself and snacking on the candy you stockpiled for yourself. All you hope for is that Satoru is safe and happy with whatever he’s doing. 
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cherryxblossxms · 5 months
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It is PURELY because he's involved so much in the story for once, but I'm playing the Bakerlon event in Tears of Themis and having so many thoughts about William Lewis. So help me god.
[Minors do NOT interact!!!!! Afab reader]
He's so dumb when he interacts with people. Like I'm sure he makes a good lawyer. But for anywhere else thats not in the courtroom, he's so oblivious and arrogant when he talks to people normally lmao. He'd make for good hate fuck material, or at least a very very tense session. 👀
I'm just imagining the arguing gets to an all time high outside of the courtroom, until you just have to kiss him to shut him up. Despite his confident appearance in his job, he's a total wet paper towel otherwise, and especially once you take the initiative, he's practically melting in your arms. It's almost hilarious how quickly he gets hard, and he's red from the tip of his ears down to his neck.
If you really want to torture him, you just have to grind your thigh against his crotch or maybe ride his thigh, or both, and he's a breathy, whimpering mess. It's really no surprise when he cums in mere minutes, making a giant wet stain in his pants. He's already overstimulated and you've barely touched him. That overconfident attitude he has is completely gone by now.
Luckily, he's a young, spry man, and he's hard again within minutes. Any thoughts he was capable of before, are finished by the time you're sitting on his cock. His sanity is gone as you ride him like a toy, all he can do is babble about how good you feel, how sensitive he is, how he's already going to cum again.
Just like usual, he's nonstop talking, begging you— for what, he doesn't know. He's not even sure himself if he's begging to cum, or begging you to stop, his whole body trembling from how sensitive he's become. You might have to gag him to shut him up, but he's completely pliant under your touch.
And when you cum while riding him, he's thanking you endlessly. Even if he hasn't cum yet— which you're honestly not sure how he didn't explode early on or now while your cunt is milking him— and even if you're not planning to let him cum again and his cock is twitching like mad, he's still thanking you. But if you decide to have mercy on him and either ride him to completion or jerk him off afterwards, he gives out the loudest, most depraved moan you've ever heard before cumming buckets.
It's almost comedic how quickly he'll try to scramble out of there, not that his knees are properly working or that he's worked out how to cover up his cum stain from earlier. He'll try to act like he wasn't affected, but truly, the whole experience has put your opinions of each other into new light. Don't be surprised if he comes knocking at your door in search of a little more from you.
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giggles-and-freckles · 10 months
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Tag Game To Better Know You
I have been tagged in so many things by so many of you lovely people in the midst of my sorta-hiatus and I would break the internet if I tried to catch up...but I like this one because it feels like a good little re-intro into the Tumblr world. :-)
What book are you currently reading?
The Writing Revolution...I can't in good conscience recommend it unless you also happen to find yourself as a teacher trying to capture teenagers' imaginations and get them to produce complete sentences! Hahahaha. Miserable toil.
What’s your favourite movie you saw in theatres this year?
Ooh, this one's easy--The Little Mermaid!! I have seen it with my family twice and then with my friends once. (I felt a little freer to lust after Prince Eric when my husband and two children weren't sitting there with me...)
What do you usually wear?
These days, some form of athleisure. During the school year, I've been told my teacher style is "Jessica Day if she didn't care so much" and...that about sums it up.
How tall are you?
5′5″ AND A HALF (alternatively: taller than @stolen-pen-name23 which is all that truly matters in this world)
What’s your star sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event?
Cancer...I think? Malala Yousafzai and Henry David Thoreau!
Do you go by your name or a nickname?
Most folks IRL call me Abigail. It's just my brothers, husband, and you guys who call me Abi!
Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child?
Absolutely not. I wanted to be a lawyer my entire life. My undergrad was pre-law and then life had other plans for me and now I'm teaching 8th grade American History. And LOVING IT. I start grad school in the fall and I'll be getting my Principal's Certification with that, so I suppose I'm in this education world for the long haul.
Are you in a relationship? If not, who is your crush if you have one?
I am tragically married. Sorry to all interested parties!
What’s something you’re good at vs. something you’re bad at?
I'm fairly good with piano and singing. I'm terrible at cooking.
Dogs or cats?
Dogs forever and ever!
If you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favourite picture/favourite line/favourite etc. from something you created this year?
Oh my. I haven't written as much as I'd like to this year (although I'm hoping to post something before the weekend!!) so I'm choosing to interpret this as the last 12 months. Maybe this bit from walking by her side, talking by her side, have pity?
He holds out his hand, wondering if she’ll bare touching him. “Goodbye, Leia.”
She is not a girl of gentleness—this, he can tell. But she accepts the hand like she’s afraid to shatter it. “Goodbye.”
“Saying my name won’t hurt you, you know,” he says, refusing to be the first to let go.
“Remind me?”
He rolls his eyes. “Anakin Skywalker.”
“Skywalker, you said?” she echoes, and lets their hands fall between them. She opens the door and smiles teasingly at him, tilting her head. “Interesting. That was my father’s name.”
What’s something you’d like to create content for?
I think I'm forever stuck in my prequels hell!
What’s something you’re currently obsessed with?
Ur mom. Okay...sorry. Ahem. I've been sewing more lately. I used ot dabble in high school, but I'm finding more motivation to make things for my toddler than I did to make things for myself.
What’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?
The weather recently! It was supposed to rain the past couple weeks and we've not gotten much more than a few minutes of sprinkling. I looooove rainy days, so that's bummed me out quite a bit.
What’s a hidden talent of yours?
I'm excellent at whistling. It's completely useless, but I'll get compared to a Disney princess occasionally, so I guess that's something.
Are you religious?
Yes. My faith is very important to me, but it's *my* faith, so I don't feel the need to bring it up with strangers unless asked about it. (Crazy concept, right?)
What’s something you wish to have at this moment?
A cuppa tea...so I think I'll go put the kettle on byeeeee
No pressure tags: @pandora15 @stolen-pen-name23 @tessiete @ilonga @kckenobi & anyone who wants to join in the fun!
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cookierye · 4 months
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Adam's room wasn't made for two people. He'd honestly argue it was barely made for one.
Jonah had sat cross legged on his bed, slightly moving back and forth to keep himself busy. Adam had taken a seat on his office chair like a normal person, elbow on the desk as he leaned on his hand.
"Something's bothering youuu."
"Shut up, man."
Jonah ended up with that grin Adam had associated with him getting a bad idea. Or whatever he had taken before coming over to his house hitting. It was one of the two.
"C'mon, tell me your problems. We'll do like, a therapy session."
He let out a snort.
"You're the furthest person from a therapist I've ever known."
"Hey, I've been to a shrink before. I know the fancy terms."
Adam rolled his eyes, his free hand tapping on the back of his chair. Jonah's eyes didn't look away from him, so he let out a defeated sigh.
"How high are you right now?"
Jonah made a 'so and so' motion, shifting to sit on the bed more comfortably. Adam figured that if he was lucky, the other would simply not remember anything he said.
"Okay, sure, fuck it. Weed therapy session."
"Weed therapy session!" Jonah exclaimed, putting his hands up in excitement. He held back the urge to scoff at his behaviour.
"Be quieter, dipshit, the other people in the house will hear you."
"Sorry, sorry."
Jonah faked a professional look, putting his hands together. Adam almost gagged at the reminder the other originally had plans to become a lawyer before his parents' death.
"I've been- having nightmares. Or rather one."
"Same one repeatedly?"
Adam ran a hand through his hair.
"Yeah. Same one repeatedly."
Then, quieter.
"I think it's from when I lost my parents."
Jonah's overexaggerated look softened up, and Adam hated how he could see a spark of pity in his eyes.
He didn't need anyone's fucking pity.
"Sounds bad already. No wonder. What happens? Do you see them..." Jonah lingered on his words, unsure what to say that wouldn't hurt.
"No. I don't see either of them." He admitted. "But I know- I know they're supposed to be there. And they're not."
He took Jonah's nod as a sign to continue.
"I remember images here and there from that nightmare every time. I'm alone. It's way too fucking dark. There's like, an empty cradle. I think it's mine."
"Maybe you had just come out of it?"
"I was four when they disappeared." He scoffed. "What kind of four year old still uses a cradle?"
"Fuck man, I don't know. Maybe your brain is trying to fill gaps."
"Same way every time?"
"I'm not a dream expert." Jonah shrugged helplessly.
"Whatever." Adam crossed his arms, part of him already regretting talking.
But a part of him felt better.
Did he want to keep talking about this?
"The therapist I had went to said it was probably a trauma thing. Trying to cope with losing them or whatever. But she was also saying some guardian angel shit about it, so I don't exactly trust her."
Jonah let out a confused snort.
"How does that tie into this?"
Adam took a moment to run his thumb over the lines on the arm of his chair. Unfortunately for him, Jonah waited patiently. Or maybe he was just zoning out.
"There's, uh. Another part of it I remember. But it makes no fucking sense."
"When do dreams ever make sense, man?"
Adam shrugged, hating the idea that the other had a point.
"It's uh. There's someone else in the house. Or multiple people? It doesn't feel like we're alone."
"Shit, like a home intruder?"
Adam took a sharp breath.
"No. Well- if there is one, it's not him. He's in uniform, I think. I can't explain what he looks like, it's like it slips out of my mind, but..."
He lingered on his words.
"I know it's not my dad. He doesn't look anything like him, I've seen pictures. But I also don't know who the fuck it is."
"You said uniform." Jonah added. "We're talking like a cop, or something?"
"Fuck, I don't know. Maybe."
They shared a moment of silence, Adam leaning back on his seat with his eyes closed.
"He's scared."
"Sorry?" Jonah was clearly caught off guard.
"The man. He seems scared every time."
"Scared of what?"
His throat felt dry.
"Of me."
Jonah grimaced. Adam found himself suddenly focused on rubbing his thumb against the lines of his chair once more, unwilling to continue.
Why had that hurt so much to say?
"Well, it is a nightmare."
He simply nodded.
"You uh. Ever looked into it? The whole incident."
"Obviously." He scoffed. "But Mandela's police department has been out of commission since before I turned like, ten. Couldn't really find much."
"That's fucked up."
Adam couldn't do anything but find himself agreeing.
"Yeah. It fucking is."
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Here is a rant I wrote
The other day I found this angry rant on my laptop I must have written a few years ago, so here it is. (*It's written as though it was being said on stage in much the way a standup comedian might perform it)
Hello yes hi how are we all?
You’re out! In the real world. Experiencing a real thing. Not watching the coloured box of death. The little metal shouty thing that’s invaded all our lives!
I can’t even watch Television anymore, it’s become too out of touch. It’s insane the things they think we should be watching. You see it with marketing you know, these adverts. Once upon a time, advertisements made sense. They were straight forward, using logical people to sell you useful things. You’d be sitting there covered in fresh blood and a woman with big hair would say, “Get the stains out in 2 hours with minimal scrubbing! Ajax” or whatever. So you’d buy the thing. Because it made sense and you needed it anyway and you didn’t feel tricked.
Now they approach it in a different way. It’s much more aggressive and manipulative. You have a woman doing the dishes and then the husband comes home from work or school or wherever they go and he says, “Beverly I don’t love you anymore.” And she turns, this image of Mary Berry in a polka dot dress and says, “I’m sleeping with your father. Hahahaha.” And shoots him in the head. And then it goes, “Ajax, because you deserve better” or something like that and it feels a little… detached from reality. They stopped selling us products and started selling us these dreams of what they think we want. I remember when cooking shows made sense. A woman would come out and show you how to set the timer on your microwave so the chicken didn’t dry out too much or come alive or something. Now they’ve fetishized the baked beans to such an extent that kids turn to their parents at dinner time and say, “Is it fried in truffle oil? No? Then I’m not having it. Would you at least making a fucking effort Mother.”
And all this fetishized nonsense has pushed the price up. I remember when you didn’t need a second mortgage just to afford a bag of onions. I remember when I could by onions and tomatoes in the same month. And they didn’t have to be organic! You used to be able to choose. You could choose between buying organic or not starving, and it was a decision we all got to make each week.
Then there’s these home living shows, do you ever try to watch these? The young couple who had a significant family member die, inherited a few million and decided to convert an abandoned petrol station into a 2 bedroom bungalow with a chocolate swimming pool and walk in freezer. Again, we fetishized houses so the market went crazy and now you have to be a lawyer-prostitute to afford one.
So what do they do to help us deal with the disappointment? Drugs! “Do you ever get thirsty?” a man in a white coat who looks vaguely like the eldest child from Home Improvement asks. Looking up from your jug of rum you say, “Yes! Yes I do.”
Well you might have OLDD or Oral Liquid Digesting Dysfunction.
Shit, you think, what can I do about it?
Next comes a lovely image of a man taking his shoes off at the beach and the voice over goes, “For just the price of a small corvette each year, we can help you feel like this guy with sand between his toes.” And your drunken self struggles with this notion. But meanwhile you’re already signing up to a 12 year subscription and purchasing the loose-your-pills insurance plan at the same time.
So this idea of tv aspirations just isn’t sustainable. You can’t be gods like the presenters you watch. You can never purchase enough shit to be king. And if you try and set your aspirations where they want you to, you’ll end up a withered corpse gripping a box of golden cornflakes in a public bathroom being eaten alive by wolves.
Thank you very much.
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justtogetthrough · 20 hours
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Just when you think you’ve seen all the possible evil in your field of work.
Then somebody who works for a Children’s Aid Society on behalf of the government speaks such an evil thing like it’s nothing and you interrupt him to be like I’m sorry, what did you just say? And the person repeats it, and you have several of your colleagues on this call as well and you all sit there on camera, mouths agape, and two texts pop up on your phone from your manager, both simply saying “OMG.” That’s it. OMG. Twice, because we can’t believe anyone would feel this way let alone say it out loud so cavalierly.
While this buffoon keeps speaking, either under the impression if he keeps talking we’ll eventually come on board with him (less likely) or just power tripping and saying this is what he’s going to do, just because he can, and yeah in reality there’s not much we can do to stop it (more likely). We all just sat there stunned. I looked from face to face and no one could mask the horror they felt.
The man went off camera halfway through and stayed off (coward) while his colleague remained on camera and fucking smirked every time this senior person spoke. Every time my colleagues stared at their screens in complete shock and disbelief, that man sat there barely trying to restrain glee? while the senior person doubled and tripled down on a plan for a child that is virtually guaranteed to result in an act of self harm before all is said and done.
We will not work with people who don’t treat children as humans. We do not accept children into our foster homes if we know their CAS cares more about dollars and cents than a child having the care they need and living a good life. Historically, we’ve only ever had one or two CAS’s blacklisted for this. I was trained when I joined this agency to receive their referrals and politely decline, maintaining positive rapport because we don’t want them to know we’ve blacklisted them. When there’s been giant ruptures and a fundamental difference in philosophy, we just smile and move on and let them ruin kids’ lives in other people’s homes and not ours. We refuse to be complicit.
But good lord, twice a year theres a new agency really showing up the rest by how heartless they can be these days. We have a good reputation in the province and we’ve been around a long time because agencies know we provide good care. It makes me wonder how we even get to places like this. It makes me wonder if the exact things that made us sought after in eras past are now what makes us come to meetings 4, 5, 6 staff strong to put up a fight, and if that makes CAS’s now consider us undesirable to work with. CAS’s talk and I’m always curious how these fights get framed. How honest agencies are when recounting why there was conflict. At what point do we become “difficult”?
We don’t want to place with agencies that don’t treat children fairly. I am so alarmed at the rate at which agencies care more about the dollars and cents than children’s wellbeing and I worry about the state of and future of child welfare, and all those kids being traumatized by the system in place to protect them. So few agencies will stand up to CAS like we do, and the more we do it and the more these agencies stop placing with us, the more those children end up as pawns, after-thoughts, and objects/collateral under other peoples supervision where none of the adults/decision makers care about them as human beings.
It’s jarring, upsetting, and defeating to be faced with this. There is so little we can do when the legal guardians won’t take our advice based on our knowledge and experience of directly caring for these children for so many years. We can’t stop agencies from taking actions that very clearly will damage children and make their lives worse. We can support children in contacting the Ombudsman and encourage them to fire any lawyers who aren’t promoting their voice, but we are so limited. We lose excellent foster parents to the defeat from these battles each time it happens. The moral injury is too much to bear and so many devoted foster parents retire when the kids get pulled from their loving homes and families they’ve attached to. For dumb fucking reasons, usually. That’s when it hurts the most.
Of all these battles we’ve charged into head on, today was the second if not the most horrible things I’ve ever heard CAS managers say. I wish I could wrap this up with some sort of hope. I don’t have any. This is just a long vent because it took me an hour to stop shaking from that meeting today and I’m still in disbelief it happened. I hate what’s happening to this kid. I hate how obtuse the agency is being, how unwilling they are to listen to the kid, to listen to us.
I hate knowing that shit like this happens. I hate watching ~adults~ add so much pain and suffering into a young person’s life for no reason other than they view this child’s wellbeing as an unnecessary cost.
I don’t know. It touches something firey hot inside of me.
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kuromiyakun · 1 year
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What have I become?
Chapter 4
Sunshine and roses
Sitting in Banshee’s kitchen, the Nosferatu gazed him with eyes narrowed. Mason, feeling the other’s displeasure, stared the surface of the small table between them, until he couldn’t handle silence anymore.
-        You know it’s exactly how I saw your kitchen. – he looked up with a small smile melted as Banshee narrowed his eyes further.
-        I wish I could take this as a joke. But I have serious aversions about anyone to know where I live. Now to put my mind off this, tell me what that female vampire you mentioned taught to you.
-        Valerie. – Mason nod and took a breath. – She took me around Bronx where I can hunt, it’s some streets really, East from here. – he mumbled. – She told me to stay away from the Sun… to avoid elders who smelled like her. I bought a new ID card and I’ll soon have a passport. I know I shouldn’t eat drugged and sick people and I mostly know how to sneak. – when Banshee grunted in amusement, he looked up with a frown.
-        Sorry, it was just the sneak part. – he smiled and the young vampire made a face.
-        Yeah, I ran straight into you, that wasn’t a very good sneak.
-        No. What was your job? – the Nosferatu asked, and Mason squirmed on his seat. He didn’t like the past tense.
-        I’m a musical producer.
-        You look like one.
-        I too make music.
-        For whom? – the elder asked curiously and Mason grunted.
-        For whom not?
-        What’s your human name? – Banshee questioned, taking a better look at the other in front of him, trying to recall if he ever saw him on TV or in a magazine.
-        What’s yours? – came the question back and the Nosferatu smirked.
-        Micah. – came the reply and Mason cocked his head, expecting more. – This must be enough.
-        Okay… It’s McKenzie. Aziel McKenzie.
-        Seriously! – Banshee straightened his back, his smile widening. – And really! – he gestured towards the young vampire. – Damn, I associated you with someone else and it totally misled me from realization, you are a goddamned celebrity.
-        I know. – Mason leaned back in his seat with a sigh.
-        Wait, I didn’t hear about your death. – the Nosferatu frowned that made the other to grunt.
-        Because I’m not dead?
-        But you are. – Banshee insisted that made Mason to squirm in his chair, again. – Or are you planning to go back after all…?
-        No. – Aziel raised his hand, trying to make the other to stop talking.
-        I’m sorry. – the Nosferatu put his elbows on the table.
-        It’s okay… I killed people. I can’t go back, anyway I have nowhere to go back to.
-        Like we all. – Ban huffed without showing some sympathy and that made the young vampire to blink in surprise. – Okay, do you have a laptop? Cellphone? Anything with GPS?
-        Yeah? – Mason pulled his cellphone out and gasped from loss when Banshee took it from his hand. – I am under investigation probably and might be wanted by police.
-        For sure, if you killed relatives or friends. – Banshee sighed, scratching the back of his head, and pushing his hoodie back. The other’s throat tightened both from the urge to cry, mourning his friends and from anger. – Since you are a celebrity with significant fortune, let me help you taking it to your afterlife.
-        How? – Mason gazed back with a frown.
-        I fake a document “In case of my disappearance” which leaves all your property to a fund we name as something like “Fund for the musical education of deaf children” or something like that. – he joked, hoping to cheer the other up, who snickered, however a bit bitterly.
-        Great idea.
-        Now, here. – he opened a notebook and dropped it in front of Aziel. – I need a list of your properties, in details, bank account and everything with passwords and contacts, advisors, investors. Your lawyer, your accountant, your secret lawyer, your secret accountant.
-        You seem to know too much. – Mason smirked, picking up the notebook however, hesitant.
-        Yeah. Houses, apartments, beach houses, cars, investments, playback rights, everything. I’ll leave you to work on it. Use your mobile phone for passwords and contacts, after we’ll send it back to your home city with all your ID cards, passports, licenses… I have someone will be able to fake your death in the end.
-        In the end?
-        Whenever you are ready, but the sooner the better. – Banshee added and left the kitchen.
Mason was left there with his thoughts, mourning not only Will and Cassy but also himself, because he was dead. Everything he did didn’t matter anymore, he was a nobody in the world of supernaturals, no matter how influential or how much of a VIP he was. It was all gone, together with his reputation. He dared not to Google himself; he could only hope the news weren’t full with the mysterious disappearance of him, his personal assistant and his ex-girlfriend. Both his own house and Cassy’s was a mess, he had no nerve to clean it up well enough to hide all the clues from LA detectives, who seen it all.
Leaning over the notebook, he switched his pen on and off a few times, first just thinking about his house, his sport cars, motorcycles and private jet. He had only a father but they weren’t in a good relationship. He didn’t deserve to get anything from Mason’s money. The old man thought Mason will never have anything whatsoever.
His only sibling, an elder brother was dead. In the end Aziel decided to have everything sold. He’ll need the money for who knows how long, until he comes up with something to do as an occupation, if it was possible at all. Something that wasn’t being a night guard in a blood bank.
To Aziel’s surprise, in the end he wrote three pages full of his info and it surprised Banshee just as much, even after his throughout list of what he needed.
-        How should I know, you won’t rob me? – the young vampires mused aloud and earned a look from the Nosferatu.
-        Tire someone else with your distrust.
-        From where do you know all these? You had to do the same when you… turned? – the inked vampire changed the final word before saying something hurtful.
-        You know very little about the Nosferatu, don’t you? – Banshee smiled and opened his laptop, putting his hand on Mason’s notes, to pull it closer to himself. – We are not only sewer rats but hackers and info traders.
-        I met the vampire I needed to meet; it seems.
-        It seems. – Ban grunted and started to work on to close Mason’s mortal life and open what came after.
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the-firebird69 · 1 year
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Watch "The Moody Blues "Tuesday Afternoon"&"English Sunset" Live" on YouTube
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And this song is regarding 2 days from now. And this man is a blaspheme for you as well but he was holding it together had a ton of stuff and his father would not let him have any and still won't and keep saying I'd rather lose it all and is losing it and it is Dave the guy next door is doing it. And he will regret it because Dave is going to die shortly. That a******. Those are the moon record it's over but the Moonraker starts because of Guantanamo Bay and what people learn about him it was just not much to learn about our son and you two had a plan to put him there and you're trying to do it from here constantly say he's a criminal and all this stuff to the military and hired all these retarded lawyers and didn't do anything they had a lot of trouble is your an imbicile. You've made so many attempts to harm our son it's not even funny Dan so he started harming you you have no idea where it's coming from her who's doing it you know it's clueless f*** we've ever seen. We're going to make you pay for your promise you imbicile. Sure that's starting to plan but he's not want us to get everything and it's your fault and we know what you did and they're going to figure it out asinine b**** you're freaking a****** little kid arguing arguing that you're thinking they're freak you're just a street kid okay and you have no idea what you're doing.
Olympus
I narrated the top part but boy you're an upsetting little b**** aren't you dan
Thor Freya
You are the beautiful losers that I'm singing about Dan and he's the other guy you're trying for all the stuff to say he's the leader bja is doing it to both of you. Is the most responsible and try taking over all those companies. And I saw it happen he would pour in. Macs defended yours died Dan and Trump. And it was only a few people left and they exited and they got security forces and monsters and other stuff and wasted anyone who showed up they kept doing it they can't stand you they hate you very badly and you're sitting here saying this stuff all day long that you ruined it. All coming from Tommy f and he's a loser man you just sits here bothering and torturing me until the two big guys for no reason, except for the big fat man switch. No you can't hold any of this and remember any of it you're going around shooting people for stuff cuz you're stupid and we don't want to be near you all the two other idiots I've got to tell you something can't even have a normal life for 5 seconds and you end up dead you too and them and your other idiots it's going to be over soon because when Donald Trump's go to Guantanamo Bay the detail and I heard it and the detail what Max and the son are doing and will destroy this country this is cheesy piece of s*** and his asinine son and my friend here said let's say it very clearly these people are jackasses did not belong in power or with the money in any way are baffoons and gafaws, you're a wicked pain in the add I add after my son-in-law statement. I don't want you around me you people are vulgar and stupid and crass as a matter of fact the idiots in DC will become idiots for real this place is gone to pot and that if you can take straight you make huge mistakes or a few seconds you don't even have to push you to do it at all and man are you dumb
Ken
We will understand it then it says mack is running is plan, you people are losers are supposed to sit here and threaten me for him running his plan and you're doing it for him if the servants you are. And CAA says that last part I agree with him I'm sitting here doing what this fat Butterball wants and it's torture and harassment it's really well over the top he's a child and he can't stand it and it's taking stuff over huge tracks of land giant minds huge objects like the big round diamonds so you're counting on to win we think that you don't have it says I'm going to go out there and find out why it actually find their tech somehow. Says the lynx spider is out there for some reason, and juice on it it is true that is what we do son down there and we mutate for some reason and fly off in the ship. He says he knows why it's because we were hit by the clones and we're out of control and teeny and insist on doing stuff and that would be doing stuff and it's jobs too but really for it but that's not why it's why but it's not what's making it happen. I kind of understand him too the thing I can do all those things to you people and you don't want to shut up and get off me this guy is making you do it but really you just not off me. It's going to go on I guess until we get some power so he says the only things you can do are really radical cuz you've already done the other radical stuff and start doing that and she says mostly people don't come back it's so dangerous and we get that so I'm going to give it a try but we were astounded to find out that we convert into them
Trump
It's for fools but Billy z is also forcing it
Mac
It's true we found it and we're going to go after him with it if we can and since we do we use the starkiller for one thing and there's a fight in Los Angeles with Dr Landrigan is says his me. Now that didn't get anything from that threat but nothing he got beat up he's like you get your head handed to you I'm trying to do stuff for once in a while this is impossible you people are impossible bricks every single one of you is at us and you're trying to say it's just me doing things too bad but wow you people suck. And the monsters today okay I see
Trump
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kingsuckjin · 3 years
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Golden- JJK
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💛 Pairing: (almost entirely)Jungkook x reader, (basically none)Seokjin x reader
💛 Rating: 18+
💛 Genre: friends to lovers but like fluffy but also like very sad.
💛 Summary: After see your boyfriend Jin cheating on you at a bar and realizing your shared friends have been working together to hide it from you, you storm off into the parking lot to cry. Jungkook sees you out there and tells you the truth about everything, or what he wants you to believe is the truth.
💛 Words: almost 16k
💛 Warnings: CHEATING!!! “only one-bed” cliché but I love it, drinking, oral sex(m&f), protected sex and unprotected sex, dirty talk, overestimation, vaginal fingering, love kink?, too much smut, uhhh Jungkook is a bit of a stalker.
💛 Note: listen, I just wanted an excuse to write a gratuitous amount of Jungkook fluff and smut and I also love hurting. I thought I should throw in, these two characters are not actually in love, there are reasons it moves so fast, but it's not love.
❤ also a very big thank you to @btsaudge​ who beta read this whole thing for me, she’s not only a god tier beta reader but a god tier writer too ❤
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“Where are you?” Jin was supposed to be home an hour ago. He had been doing this off and on for the past few months. You’d be lying if you hadn't wondered if things were beginning to fall apart later. You knew Jin would never do anything he wasn’t supposed to, especially not with the other guys there. You knew he was probably just having fun and part of you felt awful for wanting to keep tabs on him, you didn’t want to ruin his time by pestering him the whole time.
You paced as you waited for a reply but none came.
“Is Jin okay?” You sent to Namjoon now and he replied pretty quickly.
“Yeah, I’ve got an eye on him. We’re just over here at Gold’s bar telling old stories.” 
“Thank you.” You replied. You knew Jin could be a handful after having too many drinks but entrusted them with him.
You tried to sit back down and open your laptop up only to just blankly gaze at the screen. You were bored. Writer's block had hit you hard and you just didn’t feel like writing right now. You missed Jin tonight. You thought about the trip you had saved up for with the money from your last book. Sleepless hours were poured into making that book special all because you and Jin had shared a dream of vacationing in Hawaii together. All of your money went to it, every cent besides the shared rent, you wanted to surprise him and you just couldn’t find the right time to do it. He was a lawyer, not the best yet, so he had many sleepless hours too. You both deserved this trip.
You wondered for a moment if you dressed up and showed up if it would make him happy, especially if you finally told him about the trip tonight. You figured if you waited until he got home he would just pass right out and you wouldn’t get the chance. Again, you didn’t want to bother him with his friends, but then again he had spent many nights with them drinking and you were sure there were more to come, one night of you showing up couldn’t hurt.
You closed your laptop and went to your closet to find the black dress he loved so much on you, you only got it out for special occasions, and one of these days you planned on wearing it when he proposed. You knew him proposing was coming, he had been talking about it here and there lately “After we’re married…” or “when I make you my wife…” this was how life was supposed to go and you thought you couldn’t have picked a more relaxed person to share life with and you did your best to match his laid back attitude.
You got an Uber to Gold’s bar, it wasn’t a long ride, just long enough to make you further worry about ruining his time tonight. 
The first person you saw was Taehyung sitting at the bar with a pretty lady, obviously flirting like the ladies man he was. 
You tapped him on the shoulder and when he turned he seemed surprised to see you for a moment.
“Where’s Jin?” You asked over the music that was playing slightly too loud and it just wasn’t your taste in music anyway.
“I saw him over there.” He pointed to a corner of the building, and you saw him alright. You saw past the people and even passed the girl pressed into him, both leaned on the wall. 
“What are you doing here?” Came another voice.
You looked away from the scene and at Yoongi. Your eyes felt wide and your mouth fluttered open and closed. You didn’t know what to say or to think, or what was happening. Were you tired? Were you seeing things? Had your sweet and kind boyfriend just been making out with another woman with all of his and your friends here to witness it? You were confused? Did they all know something you didn’t?
You turned back around, afraid you would see the scene again, but you didn’t. There was no one against the wall. The place was dim, maybe you had just thought it was Jin.
“Want a drink?” Yoongi offered.
All you could do was just nod. 
Your eyes kept scanning the faces of people to find Jin, you were so lost and set on finding him that you were surprised to see the shot in front of your face Yoongi had gotten for you. You took it, you had no idea what it was even as it burned your throat.
“Looking for Jin huh?” Yoongi asked and sat down at one of the stools at the bar before patting the seat next to him.
“Well he’ll find us, I think he’s around here with Namjoon somewhere, might’ve gone to throw up.” 
“Yeah.” You replied but still felt nervous. Another shot was brought to both you and Yoongi.
“Was-was he pretty drunk when you saw him last?” You asked.
“He always gets pretty plastered, you know that.” 
“Sweetie!!!!” It was his voice.
You turned in the stool to see a smiling Jin coming in your direction, arms stretched wide. “What are you doing here?” He seemed happy and pretty drunk and he leaned over, wrapped his arms around you, and placed his cheek on your head. 
You felt relieved he wasn’t upset you were there.
“I’ve missed you all night.” He kissed the top of your head.
“God, you’re loud when you’re drunk,” Yoongi muttered to him.
When he released your smile that had grown from his embrace and hug faltered.
There was red lipstick on his neck.
“Jin what happened?” You asked, your hands had become sweaty as the scene you had witnessed earlier flashed through your mind.
“What do you mean?” He still wore a big smile.
“Jin, you have lipstick-“ you couldn’t finish your sentence. You turned to Yoongi just to make sure you weren’t going crazy and he had turned back away to face the bar.
You could feel your pulse thud hard as your brain further tried to rationalize it but to no avail. He must’ve caught on because he wiped at the place on his neck where your gaze was fixed. Your eyes flickered back to his nervous-looking brown eyes that were always so full of joy and laughter, the ones that always felt like home to you. Everything about this situation felt so wrong like a nightmare, you felt sick. This couldn’t be your Jin, it wasn’t your Jin, it was some strange cold stranger pretending to be him, but the more you looked at him the more you realized you were wrong. You felt tears well in your eyes and knew your strong front was beginning to dissolve and break apart like paper in water. 
That was it.
You took off for the door, you looked back and saw Jin trying to stumble after you, but Taehyung had stopped him.
You were left in tears in the parking lot, you felt your phone go off in your hand but your brain was in too much of an anger and hurt haze to care. You were looking for a place to break down, anywhere, but you sure as hell weren’t planning on going back in there. Your whole relationship with Jin was flashing through your mind and it felt like your heart had been burned, burned with the image of him and someone else the way her lipstick has been burned onto his neck.
You began to sob as you walked around parked cars. You were caring less and less who saw you break down. You felt so alone and exposed especially when a man sitting on the hood of his car began to stare.
“Y/n?” The voice questioned. Through your tear-blurred vision, you could see the screen of his phone light up his shocked-looking face.
Jungkook.
“How’d you get here so fast? I just-“ he stood from his seat on his car hood.
“Seokjin cheated on me.” You sobbed in the ugliest crying voice you had ever heard come from yourself.
Your fists grabbed the material of his jacket and you hurried your face in its collar.
His hands went to the middle of your back and hugged you silently for a moment. It just felt so good to have someone comfort you when everyone else seemed not to care or ignore you altogether. Even if it was awkward Jungkook.
You recalled the time where he once showed up at your University and just wanted to hang out for seemingly no reason. The whole two hours he was with you, he stayed silent. You thought he had wanted to visit you because you were friends but it left you wondering if he was ju9st trying to kill time or something. You also remember Jin not being too happy about it when you told him, maybe Jin wasn't too understanding back then.
“He was kissing someone else and I-I-“ you trailed off into a series of gaspy hiccups.
“I know.” He sighed.
“What?” You took a step back but still didn’t release him.
“Your phone. Check your phone.” He instructed.
You unlocked it to see a lengthy text from him. It was hard to read it and stay focused, you were shivering out of school or the chill in the air from this dress. You skimmed it but you shook worse the more you stood there. Attached were two pictures of Jin and the woman kissing in the same way and position that you had seen them.
You looked up at Jungkook with tears streaming down your cheeks, your lip quivered, your body shivered and he looked down at you with sorrow knitted into his furrowed brows.
“I’m sorry. They had always told me not to say anything, that it wasn’t my business, that I’d make you both unhappy if I-“ 
Your teeth were still chattering as you looked up at him.
He took his coat off silently before draping it around your shoulders. You fed your arms through the armholes that were way too big on you.
“Come on, let’s get you… let’s get you warm.” He went around to the passenger’s side and opened his car door. You didn’t resist, at least you could break down somewhere private.
You held your head in your hands as you sobbed over the sound of the engine and heat warming the car. He sat there quietly, not saying anything at all, but you didn’t blame him for it, he had always been awkward with people, especially you, but at least he seemed to care more than anyone else tonight.
You cried until only your hiccups remained. Your head rested against the headrest as you looked out the windshield at the night sky, it was starless.
“You- you uh wouldn’t want to go home would you.” It was a statement, he knew you wouldn’t. “Is there- somewhere I can take you? You could come with me… if you want.” 
“I don’t know, I don’t know if I want to be anywhere, but I can’t go home.” You stated knowing you weren’t making complete sense.
“We don’t have to go to my house just yet, we can do anything you want… but I do understand if you want to be somewhere where you can just be sad.”
“I don’t want to be sad.” You sniffled once more and wiped at your face “I don’t want to be anywhere sad. I wanted to have fun…”
“I know somewhere we can have fun.” 
Before you could answer he was pulling out of the parking lot.
It was quiet for a while as you just looked out the window.
“I know what it’s like you know.”
You turned to look at his face as he drove, lights every so often passing over his face.
“You’ve been cheated on too.” It wasn’t a question so much as a sad statement that came from your mouth. 
“That’s what made me want you to know so badly. It tore my heart out and sometimes I wish …I never would’ve found out, it hurt. I know it hurts.”
“I’m so sorry Jungkook.” You whispered. Sometimes he was weird, but you knew he had always had a good heart. 
“Sometimes things like that just happen, it doesn’t make it hurt less, but it does help to know you’re not alone… that and getting shit-faced.” He joked making you let out an amused puff of breath as you felt yourself smile just a little.
“Are we going somewhere with alcohol?” You asked.
“Of course. It’s on the house tonight.”
“You’re a good one Jungkook.” You replied.
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You looked up at the big neon bowling ball and pins at the top of the building as you sat in the parked car.
“Bowling?” You asked and looked down at your dress. He was such a weird person.
“Just trust me.” 
So you did trust him, after all, it was better than being at home alone or worse, at home with Jin.
When you walked into the bowling alley it was dark, but there were laser lights and strobes and glowing lights and music played loudly but not as near as deafening as it did at the bar. It seemed like you were the only two here, besides one older guy playing alone at the very end lane.
You took a seat at a table at the opposite end and simply just waited, but the more you were alone with your thoughts the more what happened played through your mind. 
How long had Jin been cheating on you? Had he knowingly been cheating on you while talking about you being his wife someday?
You felt tears sting your eyes again, it was harder to hold them back this time.
Jungkook came back with an entire pitcher of beer and a plastic cup he sat on the table before he looked at you.
You tried to shield your crying eyes. You felt stupid crying at a bowling alley you weren’t even bowling at.
You heard the sounds of him pouring beer into the cup and you heard the cup scoot across the table.
You put your hand down, picked up the cup, and downed it.
“I know it’s hard not to think about, and I know it hurts. You shouldn’t be so embarrassed about crying.” Somehow he was able to read you “we’re pretty much the only ones here.” 
“I know, it just feels so strange crying in such an open place. I’m glad I’m here though.” 
He looked to be thinking about your words for a moment before ducking down in the seat and disappearing under the table.
“Come here,” he asked from under the table as you poured more beer in the plastic cup.
You followed him down under the table miraculously without spilling your drink.
He gave you the biggest, sweetest toothy smile and you couldn’t help but return it. You felt like a child playing hide and seek. 
He began to sing along to September by Earth Wind and Fire that played throughout the bowling alley, even physically reenacting the words just to make you laugh. Behind him, past the table were the prettiest lights. You felt so comfortable, warm, and safe in his yellow jacket.
“Are you okay?” He asked with slight concern.
“Yeah.” You snapped out of it and took another drink of your drink before offering him some.
“No, I have to drive. I got it for you, it’s all yours.” He declined.
“Thank you, for all of this.” You told him “it has made me feel better, I owe you so much.” 
“Don’t mention it.” He shrugged and you couldn’t help but notice just how sturdy his shoulders looked, and his thick tattooed upper arms.
His eyes were just as big and sparkling as when you had met him in high school. You tried to think back on the exact point you met him but you couldn’t remember.
“Jungkook, when did we meet, do you remember?” You asked him curiously.
“Mhm. I remember.” He gave you a nod. “We were all at Seokjin’s and we were setting up monopoly but had to wait because he was waiting on someone else. When you walked in the door I…”
“You just stared at me the whole time, I felt so unwelcome.” You laughed as you remembered.
You looked over at him to see him looking down and playing with one of the chunky rings on his fingers with a shy smile, his shaggy dark waves threatening to obstruct your view of his sheepishness. He was no longer that quiet and shy bowl-cut boy, well, in a sense was, but not to you anymore. He had tattoos all over him and long hair, his ears had a few rings in each. You wondered how someone so sweet could look like that. He was a paradox all on his own and you simply just never understood it, maybe that’s why you had felt like he was a little weird.
“The funny thing was, I had never seen you at school before that, but I saw you everywhere after.”
“I remember the same thing happening.” You replied as your mind went to seeing him in the halls and recalling the little waves he would give you. It made you smile recalling him then and looking at him now.
“You’ve always been so good, Kook.”
His reply was a shy scoffing noise before thanking you.
You noticed the cup you held was empty and looked down at it.
“Want me to get you more up top?” He pointed up and you nodded. He took your cup and told you to stay put as if you might be planning on crawling away. You felt safe here under this table with him, it was like your feelings couldn’t find you as long as you hid under here with him.
He bumped his head on the way back down making you burst out into laughter.
“You think that’s funny you sadist?” He joked as he smiled big and you continued to laugh at him “is that what it takes to make you laugh?” He teased as he handed you your refilled drink. “You know what would be hilarious? Me walking out here and getting hit by a car. You would be in tears with laughter.”
You still laughed but shook your head.
“You know what I think?” He lifted a brow at you “I think you’re drunk.” He accused you.
“No, definitely not. No way.” You denied but both of you knew it was a joke. Everything seemed to lag just a bit and you felt so silly. Your confidence was through the roof and every time you looked at him your heart raced. 
“I think you’re drunk.” You accused him back.
“Me? How? I haven’t drank anything all night.” His warm smile never ended and you swore he couldn’t take his eyes off of you.
“I think you’re so drunk that you think I’m drunk.” 
“No no.” You continued with your play fight. “If I was drunk could I do this?” You simply just took another drink of beer.
“Yes?” He chuckled. His laugh alone was enough to make your stomach feel like it was jumping into your throat.
You don’t know what got into you, you don’t know why you did it, but you reached forward and placed your hand on his knee.
There was silence for a moment as he looked down at it. He picked it up and he didn’t quite hold it but took it in a weird handshake way and let your conjoined hands be somewhere in the space between you.
He looked at you and smiled.
“I’m cutting you off. No more drinks for you.” You couldn’t tell if he was joking, or he was hinting for you to stop, your drunk brain had no idea. Instead of trying to figure out if he was rejecting you, you turned his hand over in yours and looked at his hand tattoos and rings, running your hand over each one. You had once heard his tattoos were for his family, but you didn’t know. You let go of his hand and held his arm as you examined those too, some had words you’re drunk brain couldn’t comprehend the meaning of.
“What’s after this?” He asked as he let you look over his skin.
You thought about it.
“I don’t want to go home.” You knew that much. “And I have no friends except…” actually you didn’t have friends anymore.
“My house it is then.” 
“I don’t have to if- I wouldn’t want to…”
“It’s alright, I don’t mind. I just want to know you’re safe and not in pain… unless you’d feel too uncomfortable.”
“I trust you.” You locked eyes with him. It was the truth, Jungkook had never hurt anyone ever that you can recall. He hadn’t even been mad at any of the others, even when he should’ve been sometimes. If you were bothering him he never would’ve said it, and knowing that made you feel worse, it made you feel like you were.
“I don’t think you’ve ever been to my house, but I have to warn you, it isn’t the best, I’m just a currently jobless IT guy. Kinda lost my job last week.”
“I’m so sorry Kook. I don’t mind, at least it’s not with Jin.” You finished off what was in your cup, he hadn’t been too serious about cutting you off the drinks.
“I’ll be back.” He let you know before crawling out from under the table.
You went to get out from under the table and the moment you stood all the drinks hit you, you held onto the table for stability as you sat back down at your seat. The pitcher of beer was gone so you had either finished it or he had taken it. Your brain was no longer thinking about Jin thankfully, but unfortunately, it was stuck on Jungkook and the way he looked at you and how his hand had felt in yours. Your breath felt shaky about going home with him, not because you were unsure, but because to you that had to mean something. You tried to separate yourself from your drunk mind and realized you didn’t want to push his boundaries when he was being so kind. You were drunk and he wasn’t and you knew he had morals that you just didn’t right now. You shouldn’t hit on him again, but then again he let you hold his hand, didn’t he? Did he? Would you even call that hand-holding? He hadn’t pulled away but that didn’t mean he wasn’t trying to be nice and that didn’t mean he was uncomfortable. You felt bad about doing it, but the drunk and hurt part of you wanted something, some kind of closeness with anyone so the hurt could be replaced just for now. It was all wrong of you.
Your brain spun as you looked off into nothing at all of the dancing colorful lights of the bowling alley. Maybe Jungkook wanted to take advantage of you, maybe he saw this as an opportunity, and as wrong as that sounded you would’ve been okay with that. Your mind stuck to that idea like a fly stuck in honey.
“Ready?” He asked as he held out his hand for you to help you out of the seat.
You stumbled a bit as you took your first few steps but he grabbed you around the waist.
“Careful.” He said so gently and so patiently but it did nothing to ease your turbulent thoughts and feelings. As he held your body like this, it made you want to hold him back, but you fought the urge. He was just helping you get to the car so you didn’t fall flat on your ass.
He buckled you in murmuring a quiet apology for seemingly no reason.
His car smelled of him. It was funny how you never noticed before he had his own scent, it was a bit like cinnamon or some kind of spice and fresh laundry. It hung all around you, on his coat, the fabric of his car, and even on your hands from touching his. 
You looked at him as he drove, the whole time, and if he noticed he hadn’t said a word about it. You felt fully wrapped in him and yet you ached for more, more than just this casual friendliness.
“Do you promise to tell me if I bother you… in any way at all.” Your mouth blurted out.
“I promise.” You watched him smile at your odd request. “You never have bothered me yet.”
The reassurance was what you needed for your mind to feel content for now.
The silence was comforting after all the music and crying and drinking and all the things you had seen tonight. You almost fell asleep, almost.
The keys jingling and a car door closing woke you up. You looked around to see apartment buildings just as Jungkook opened your side car door. You unbuckled yourself.
“Do you need me to carry-“ 
You got to your feet on your own but grabbed for his arm.
“Wait.” He announced before getting to his knees in the parking lot.
He took your leg in his hand and took off one of your heels before taking the other off. He then put an arm under your leg and one on your back before you were horizontal in his arms.
“There are steps up here. I didn’t want you falling in those shoes.” He commented as he carried you and your shoes. You wrapped your arms around his neck so he might have an easier time.
“Would you laugh if I fell down the stairs?” 
“Only for a second.” He teased
“You sadist.” You snorted.
The way his body and muscles felt against you as he packed you up the stairs to his apartment door made you more lightheaded than all the alcohol you had tonight.
He put you down to unlock his door but his hands went back into you to help you walk through it.
He flipped on the lights to reveal his apartment.
His living room area consisted of a mattress on the floor with dark blue sheets and a blanket, it faced a big TV on a stand with game systems and even a computer tower.
The headboard of his bed was the bar that separated the tiny kitchen from the living area.
To the far side were two doors, you assumed one was a bathroom and another door that looked like it slid open could be a closet.
“Quaint, right?” He asked.
“It’s very you.” You said as you breathed the scent of him hanging all around you.
“I was thinking you could have the bed and I could sleep on the floor.” He commented.
“Haven’t you been sleeping on the floor anyway?” You joked. “It’s a big bed, but it also could be a couch. So I could have the couch and you could have the bed. I don’t see any other way around this.”
“You’re okay with us both sharing…?” He asked as if you hadn’t already been thinking about it before you found out the only place to sit or lay in here was his bed.
“Do you mind?” You asked.
“Uh uh.” He shook his head and took off across the room. You wobbled on over to his bed and had a seat. You watched as he slid the closet door open.
He threw a pair of pajama pants and a white t-shirt behind him onto the bed before pulling out more clothes he kept in his arms.
“The bathroom is-“ 
You cut him off by pointing to the only other room in the apartment. You picked up the clothes and he asked if you needed help getting in there but you shook your head.
You had to hold onto the sink as you dressed in the foreign fabric of his clothing, but even though it felt odd, you still felt comfortable. You did your best to drunkenly wash your face before coming back out. The room was dim, and the Netflix home page was the only light. He was in the tiny open kitchen half of the room in grey sweatpants and a black shirt setting a glass of water onto the island.
“Drink.” He pointed and you did as he asked but could only stomach half the glass. You were sure to thank him for his kind gift of water before you went over to his bed on the floor and got in.
“Here.” He placed a remote on your torso before crawling into the bed himself.
But you didn’t want to watch anything at all. Being next to him was enough entertainment for you.
You looked over at him, hands comfortably resting behind his head, waiting for you to pick something. 
You passed the remote back to him by placing it on his stomach and found his open side too inviting for you not to want with all of your heart.
You rolled onto your side and scooted closer and closer until you put your head on the place between his armpit and shoulder. He didn’t stop you from laying on his chest. He turned the tv off making the room go dark before he let his arm fall around you and cradle you.
You laid in silence a moment.
“Tomorrow is going to be better.” He whispered but you were already drifting from the closeness and peace you felt for now. You took a deep breath in and held his scent in your nose for a moment so it would permanently brand into your brain.
“You smell so good.” You muttered already half asleep.
You heard yet another amused scoff come from him and felt the little laugh on his chest under your head.
“Go to bed.” He joked.
And you did, as you listened to his rhythmic heartbeat, beat after steady beat, unfailing and never letting you down. There was always another right after the last.
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The quiet click of a door woke you. You could see sunlight flooding through your closed eyelids, you could feel the warmth in the bed and on your skin. As you laid there you could hear other little sounds, straining to be quiet but failing.
Your eyes opened and you were disoriented for a moment.
You sat up but realized the noises were coming from behind.
“Jungkook?” You sleepily let out as you winced at the bright light coming through the sheer curtains from behind the tv.
“I’m sorry if I woke you up.” You heard his apologetic voice. 
“No, it was just time to get up.” You grunted as you gave a stretch hard enough your bones cracked.
“Want some cereal?” 
You both casually sat in the bed eating. He had given you a massive bowl of cereal you felt obligated to finish. He was fully dressed while you sat there still in his pajamas.
“You want to stay again today?” He asked bluntly as his eyes focused on whatever anime he had turned on.
“I couldn’t Jungkook, you’ve been so kind and I just-“
“I don’t mind.” He shrugged and crunched up another bite.
“Why?” You decided to ask but he shrugged again.
“Having someone here is kind of fun. It’s like a sleepover I guess.” 
He was so childish in the oddest ways, it was kind of charming. You began to remember all of your thoughts from last night and thanked yourself for not trying too hard to make him uncomfortable. He pushed back his hair with his hands before taking another bite of the colorful cereal. He had the heart and empathy of an angel, even with the tattoos on his hands that he ate his kids’ cereal with.
“Then what are we doing today Kook?” You asked.
“You need clothes. Also, do you know how to skateboard?”
You felt those two things in the same breath were a bit odd but that was just him.
Before long, you found yourself in a cheap store grabbing whatever would fit you and you could wear in public and not feel too bad about it.
“Why’d you ask if I could skateboard?” You asked as he pulled out of the store parking lot. You had already gotten dressed in the bathroom and were ready for whatever weird thing he wanted to do.
“Do you?” 
“No.” You shook your head.
“Wanna learn?”
“Sure.” 
“I’m going to teach you how Yoongi taught me when I was sixteen.”
“How did he teach you?” 
“He taught me not to be scared.” Was his only reply, and you accepted it. You liked the element of surprise he added to everyday life, you liked how he didn’t take a lot too seriously. You admired that. Your life with Jin had always been work amongst jokes now and then but it hadn’t felt fun, even when you were both young. You felt like you could probably learn a lot from Jungkook.
“Let’s get some food first. It’s almost dinner time, are you hungry? You kept a while and all you’ve eaten today was cereal.” 
You paid for lunch. You got some fries you picked at between watching the wind blow through his hair as you ate outside at a little burger place. He stuffed his mouth full with every bite. A mess of tomatoes and condiments would drop from the burger and onto the wrapper in his lap.
“What’s something you’ve always wanted to do?” You asked him.
“Hmmm.” He thought with a mouthful. “Maybe live in a better house.” 
“That’s it?” You couldn’t help but laugh at the simplicity of what he desired.
“Yeah.” He smiled and wiped his mouth. “You?” 
“I wanted to live or at least visit somewhere warm. I was supposed to go on a trip to Hawaii with Jin, it was a surprise… I wanted to live there one day but he has to work here.” you felt yourself falling back into the heartbreak.
“You don’t need him to go to Hawaii. You could move there now if you wanted and no one could hold you back.” 
“Yeah.” You agreed but it sounded sad.
“You afraid of being alone?” He asked a question that hit you too hard. 
All of your adult life and even your teenage years all you knew was Seokjin, you had always had someone there, your parents or Jin, you had never really had to be alone or think of a future with only yourself until now.
“No.” You lied. There was a strange quiet.
“I’m sorry if that-“
“You should come with me to Hawaii.” You blurted out fully interrupting him.
“Do you want that?” He questioned as if you hadn’t thought it through, and you hadn’t but that didn’t mean you didn’t mean it.
“Yes. Do you?” You were so afraid of him saying no and you didn’t quite know why.
“It’s not like I don’t have anything I can just put on hold for… however long. It’ll be fun. I’d like that.” 
The conversation felt like something more to you somehow, like some secret agreement was just made.
“We should do this before it gets dark.” He commented “ready?” 
Your fries were cold and you had been just waiting on him to finish eating.
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You took at the top of the street on a hill with him after walking a block from where he had parked and dragged a skateboard out of the backseat.
“This is where Yoongi taught me to skateboard, he pushed me down here.” He pointed to the steep road that luckily wasn’t too busy.
“And you’re going to push me down it? I’d kill you.” You crossed your arms disapprovingly.
“No, see, you’re going to push yourself down it. If you sit on the skateboard it will be easier and you probably won’t fall, it will be fun.”
“Your idea of fun gets crazier and crazier.” You pointed out.
“Sit, I’ll stay behind you.” 
“No, because it’s going to pick up speed faster than you can run as I’m going down the hill.” Your brain had already torn the scenario apart and your chances of getting hurt were probably around one hundred percent. Even though you knew that you sat down on the skateboard.
“Okay, now just look down, get a feel for it, take it in.” He instructed as you looked down at the steeply sloping road below.
“Jungkook this is dangerous.” You commented.
He stood behind you and wrapped his arms around you in kind of a hug.
“You’re okay, nothing bad is going to happen to you, alright? I’m right here.” He whispered and you nodded. “Close your eyes, keep them closed.” 
You did as he asked you could feel him wheeling you closer and closer. Put your feet down to stop you from going just yet. I’m going to let go, you’re going to count to ten and without opening your eyes, you’re going to push yourself. Stay as still as you can even if you’re scared. Only open them when I have you.”
Your breath shook, but you gave him confirmation.
“Count.” He said as he released you.
You slowly counted, the nerves in your stomach growing the higher each number got. You gripped the bottom of the board with both hands and when you got to ten you used your legs to push off before tucking them back onto the board.
You let out a scream as you felt the speed at which you were falling, you could feel tears in your squeezed closed eyes.
He caught you by the arm. It was all over before it had even started.
You were breathing heavily and clung to his jacket.
“You’re safe, you’re okay.” He assured you and helped you to your feet.
You were at the bottom of the hill and your heart was racing with your eyes still watering. 
“Are you crying?” He grinned.
“JUNGKOOK I COULD’VE DIED!” You slapped at his arm but he dodged it only making him laugh more at your annoyance.
“Look! You did that by yourself!” He commented with proudness.
“I could’ve died.” You repeated.
“But you didn’t.” He still wore a grin.
The sunset filtering through his dark hair, his laughter, and him trying to escape you chasing him by walking backward felt oddly beautiful. His skin looked a shade of golden like this.
You pulled on his jacket to pull him in, you thought about kissing him, everything in you told you to preserve this moment. Would he let you? Would he let you at least hold his hand again?  but instead, you wrapped your arms around him.
“Today is better, thank you.” You squeezed him. Your arms stayed around him for as long as his stay on your back. It was a while that you both just stood there hugging in the street like dumbasses.
“What do you want to do now?” He asked as he released you “you’ve put up with me all day so it’s your turn to pick.”
“Honestly,” you both began the trek back to his car. “I just want another drink.”
“Understandable. Let’s stay home and drink tonight, it will be easier.” He suggested.
“I would rather.” You agreed you interlocked your arm in his as you walked, and again he let you. You wondered for a moment why he was letting you be this close to him and touch him so much, but he never initiated it. You decided thinking about any of that was not for the best and you let it go.
You stopped at a liquor store and got more vodka and snacks than either of you would ever need for one night.
Before you started drinking you both took a turn having a shower and he started some laundry. Everything was so casual with the both of you, eating chips on the bed while he beat your ass at a fighting game three times in a row, he did let you win three times after that to make up for it. The loser had to take a shot and now you each had three.
“Last one. You’re going to win and I’m going to switch games.” You announced as you picked your character. 
“You don’t know if I’m going to win.” You could hear the smile in his voice. You knew it was either he won or he let you win, and he let you win yet again.
“Don’t be such a hero.” You laughed as he had to gulp down the fourth drink of vodka. His nose wrinkled at the taste.
“Let’s just play something both of us have an equal shot at winning. Since you’re good at video games it can’t be that.” You decided. You thought about what you could do that didn’t require much skill if any. You scooted closer to him on the mattress on the floor so you could face him, knee to knee.
“Got it. Hold up five fingers.” You told him and did the same.
“I know this game.” He said holding up five tattooed fingers.
“Good, loser takes three shots.” You made up the rules and he nodded in agreement. You scooted in closer and he faced you. You were going into dangerous territory with this and you knew it, but let it go under the guise of: this is just for fun.
“Put a finger down if you’ve ever gotten black out drunk.” You said and he put a finger down and you didn’t.
“Put a finger down if you’ve thrown up in public.” He said and neither of you put a finger down.
“Put a finger down if you’ve ever… eaten something off of someone’s body.” You watched as his finger stayed up but you put yours down.
“Are you trying to lose?” He laughed
“We’re even.” You pointed out.
“Not for long. Put a finger down if you’ve ever had public sex.”
You put a finger down.
“Put a finger down if… you’ve ever… let someone win in a game.” You laughed as you brought up earlier and he put a finger down.
“Put a finger down if… you’re y/n.” He grinned.
“You know what? Just give me the damn three shots, I forfeit.” You sighed knowing that it was time to play dirty in every sense of the word.
“I’ll take three with you.” He decided. Of course he would, he was the kindest man ever. You could’ve already guessed he would say that before he even did.
You took them together and only let yourself grimace after the last one.
“Again, I’ll start this time.” He announced, screwing the cap on the vodka. You could hear him slur his speech just a little.
You both held up five fingers once again.
“Put down a finger if you’ve ever had a pregnancy scare.”
Neither of you put down a finger, but the questions were beginning to get a bit more heavy. He seemed to have the same idea as you.
“You’ve ever had someone cum inside of you or came inside of someone without a condom.” You were stepping up your questions now but neither of you were putting fingers down.
“If anyone has ever gone down on you for more than thirty minutes.” He asked but again you both still had five fingers. “Wow, that really sucks for us.” He muttered.
“If you’ve ever had a thing for someone in your friends circle.” You announced. Slowly but surely you both put down a finger. Your drunk beau was ignoring the little voice in your head screaming at you to stop. Jungkook was your friend, a friend who might even have the same feelings as you did right now.
“If you’ve ever thought about kissing someone in your friend circle.” He asked and put a finger down and so did you. You felt like you were both edging towards the inevitable and dangerous with questions like this, but you couldn’t shut your mouth.
“If you’ve ever thought about fucking them.” Your own question made you swallow as you both put a third finger.
“If you’ve ever thought about what it would be like to be in a relationship with them.” He asked quietly. Your fourth fingers went down together.
There was only one left and it was your turn. You both knew now you were talking about each other, but it was hard to believe. You were scared it wasn’t you, maybe he was into guys too. You just had to ask, you had to.
Your eyes locked. You felt nervous. He looked nervous as he bit at his lip between those two front teeth you were becoming so fond of seeing when he smiled.
“Put a finger down if…” it was hard to speak, you had to swallow down the knot of nerves in your throat and take a deep breath before continuing “if the person we’re talking about is each other.”
His pointer finger curled down and so did yours.
 “For how long?” You asked.
“From the start.” He admitted. “But you’ve never felt that way.”
“I do now.” You leaned in. At least now you were sure how he felt, or at least you thought.
He stopped you by placing a hand on your arm.
“I don’t want it to be like this.” His voice was so quiet it was barely above a whisper.
You sat back and waited for him to explain.
“I don’t want it to be… I don’t want to be a rebound. I think friendship comes before feelings anyway and that’s why I did this. I don’t want to kiss you while we’re drunk, I don’t want you to regret anything.” 
“Oh.” You let out. 
“I can’t do this when you’re drunk and sad and trying to fill a void, that wouldn’t be okay of me to do. I want… I want more than that and you just got out of a relationship… or maybe you didn’t yet… but I can wait until it’s all over, I feel like that’s the right thing to do here.”
You sat there a moment as his drunk words registered in your brain. For just a second you wished you weren’t drunk so you could try to tell him how you were feeling but decided to give it your best shot anyway.
“I like you. I’m sorry I was so blinded by Jin all these years that I couldn’t see you liked me because if I hadn’t been maybe we both could’ve been better off. Maybe I could’ve had more days like this with you, hundreds more where we just do crazy things, where we could just sleep on a mattress on the floor and still feel happy and content with life. Jungkook if I would’ve known you felt this way and I would’ve known how life could be, at any point, then I’d probably be the one cheating. I want you. I want you and it’s not just because I’m afraid to be alone, you make me do things I never would’ve done. And your heart, your heart is made of pure gold. I want us both to just forget everything before now, everything we’ve been through, not because it hurts but because it just feels like it should’ve been us all along. And if you only knew how many times I’ve had to stop myself from kissing or touching you today when I was perfectly sober and perfectly happy…”
“I want that. I’ve wanted that.” He seemed like he was talking to himself more than you.
He was now the one leaning forward and your face got stuck in his pull.
Your lips met very gently and your eyes drifted closed so you could lose yourself in it.
His tongue wasn’t at all rough or demanding with yours, but it was needy.
You climbed into his lap and not a minute passed between that time and the time he was helping you fall backward, settling himself between your legs so effortlessly.
Your hands ran under his shirt slowly, creeping up until his shirt bunched prompting him to sit up and take it off.
You could feel him hard between your legs but there was so much fabric separating the both of you that it became frustrating to buck into him.
“I can’t fuck you.” He decided to your dismay. “But I just want to feel you.” 
You let him slide your shirt off so your bare chests were pressed together as mouths continued to move together in new ways every second, patternless unlike his heartbeat but exciting like the things he made you do.
He yanked the blankets up around you both and let himself grind into you slowly as you whimpered for more.
Your mouth went to his neck, sucking at his skin passionately and listening to the beautiful moans he made for you. You could’ve done this to him all night, just taste his skin and let his spit intermix with yours, but he decided to bite off even more.
His head sunk and he took a nipple in his mouth. The feeling went right to your throbbing and needy clit.
“Oh god fuck me.” You breathed “please just let me closer. I need more.” 
He pinched at your nipple softly between his teeth and you gripped his shoulder.
“I’m so wet, I don’t think one ever wanted anything mo-“
His mouth left your breast and yanked his pajama pants off of you and took off the ones he was wearing as you finished kicking off yours.
You were both down to your underwear now though you wished it was less.
While you weren’t going to force him to do anything he didn’t want to, it sure seemed like he wanted to do this.
You felt him reach into his underwear and adjust himself before rutting into you again with a groan.
Your hands freely moved across his skin, feeling goosebumps that had risen under your touch.
You knew that you were so wet at this point that it had to leak through the fabric of both yours and his underwear, you knew he felt it.
“Is there anything I’m allowed to do? Kook, you’re killing me.” You whined.
“I don’t have condoms.” He commented.
“I get a birth control shot but I understand if you don’t want to…” you trailed off.
“I don’t know what I want to do… I- but I think I have an idea. Let’s take the last of it off.” 
He seemed nervous as you both kicked off your remaining two pieces, and then you were bare for each other.
“You’re not a virgin right?” You asked from the way he was acting so nervously. 
“Oh. No, no. I- Uh I just feel like it’s wrong still... like I’m not supposed to. This can’t be happening.” He reached down between the both of you again.
“Nothing has to happen-“ 
“I’m so hard.” It was a whisper of a breathless whine that interrupted you. His knuckles brushed your folds and you realized he had his cock in his hand, pumping it slowly.
“Why the fuck are you so unbelievably hot?” Tumbled from your mind and fell from your mouth.
“You need to be seeing things from my view right now.” He looked over what parts of your body he could “dear god.” 
He finally released his cock and let it fall between your folds. He gave a thrust and felt the weight of his cock slide against your clit because of the wetness.
You didn’t expect him to shove his fingers into you, but that alone was enough to nearly make you cum from all the teasing he had put you through.
He pulled them out and held his sticky thoroughly coated fingers in the air.
“Oh my god.” He whispered quickly and shakily. 
You had never, ever been this wet in your life. You could hear the sound as he spread your juices and his pre-cum over his cock and brought it back to place it between your folds.
He came back down and every time he thrust how his slick cock rubbed your clit over and over.
Moans and whines escaped both of you but it just wasn’t enough for you to imagine him plowing into you, you needed to feel it.
“Oh god, I bet you would feel so fucking good inside of me. I’d cum for you so fast.”
You had earned a soft groan from him, he was losing it.
“I want to fuck you so badly. I want to cum all inside of you. Neither of us had ever done that before, can I?”
You felt him shift the head of his dick to your entrance.
“I will beg you, please do it.” you closed your eyes in a prayer that he actually would.
“Fuck.” he let out as he slipped into you, you took every last inch of him. 
He was already sweating and grunting before he had started thrusting, but after he started jackhammering into you, there was a new look and feel about him. His damp strands hung loosely, his nose crinkled as he hit his lip with the force he was putting into each thrust.
“I’m going to cum.” you announced not even a minute in.
He grabbed one of your legs, threw it over his shoulder, and was pushing hard. Your body bounced at the force, your head bumped the kitchen Island that was his headboard until he dragged your body animalistically lower on the bed.
“I wanna- I wanna hear you.” he panted. 
“Don’t stop- that- keep doing that,” you instructed. He was short on breath and a sweaty mess.
“Go on, I've got you. I've got you,” he assured you, keeping the pace of his hips the same.
Your orgasm crashed into you all at once like a semi-truck through a small building.
You felt like you had just gone down that hill again. Your heart was racing and you knew he was too.
You pulled him into your lips messily as your brain melted into a blissful spice and laundry scented puddle.
He mounded loudly against your lips as his body moved against yours.
“Coming.” He whispered his next few breaths were sharp, pumping into you a few more solid times, you could feel his cum spill into you as his sweaty forehead pressed into yours.
When his hips stilled, there was only the sound of rough breaths, he kept his eyes closed for a moment and swallowed hard.
“How-how was that?” He propped himself above you on shaky arms. In the dark you could see the beads of sweat that pulled on his face and neck, his chest rose and fell and still made no move to pull out of you.
“I-“ you tried to find even a single word for the experience you had just had. “I didn’t know it could be like that.”
He let out a strong huff of a laugh and grinned down at you with the biggest and sweetest eyes that looked to search your face.
“That was something.” He agreed but looked like he had something on his mind. 
He gave you a soft kiss on your lips before he finally pulled out and laid beside you, only to have the embarrassing feeling of his cum leaking from you and down your butt crack.
You jumped up, only making matters worse, cupping your crotch as you took off to the bathroom faster than he could ask any sort of questions.
As you cleaned yourself up you couldn’t believe everything that had happened between you two. you didn’t for a second regret it, the opposite.
As you walked out of the bathroom he was standing on the floor by the bed with only his pajama pants on, holding a bag of chips. He turned to you and laughed.
“We just had sex with the Mortal Kombat music.”
You stood there naked and you couldn’t help but laugh back.
That tender time you had just had together had just been spent jarring fight music and you didn’t even realize. That’s what he did to you. When you were with him the entire world and all of your problems fell away.
You put back on your pajamas, still laughing to yourself as you heard the music still play.
“Now every time I hear it I’ll think of you.” 
“Please don’t associate us having sex with that” you laid back down and he got into the bed with you. 
He fed you a chip and you thought that was pretty cute so you took him by the shirt and pulled him into your lips.
He pulled away for a moment.
“Round two, fight!” 
You laughed so hard at the stupid Mortal Kombat joke that you snorted and he found that pretty amusing. A tickle fight broke out and of course, he got you pinned and of course, you couldn’t help but kiss him again.
A knock at the door interrupted you both making him stiffen and both of your heads turn in the direction of the door.
“What do I do?” You mouthed to him he climbed off of you and sat up.
“Who is it?” He called out.
“Jimin.” The answer came from the other side of the door.
You grimaced at each other and decided to jump up and go hide in his closet. You tucked yourself in between his few shirts and hanging pants and closed the door.
You could hear Jungkook walk to the door and open it. There were now two sets of footprints inside the apartment.
“You weren’t answering any texts and I got worried about you.” You heard Jimin's voice clearly.
“Been busy.” You think Jungkook muttered.
“Looks like it,” Jimin replied with obvious sarcasm. You wondered if it was all the snacks and alcohol on the floor, the video games left on, or the marks that decorated Jungkook’s neck that made him say that.
“You hear about what happened with Jin and y/n the other night at the bar?” Jimin asked and waited a moment “I guess he cheated on her, you were right this whole time about it.”
“It sucks she had to go through all of that. How’s she holding up?” Jungkook was playing dumb.
“I don't know, I haven't talked to her. It's Jin’s business, not mine.” 
That hurt you. You had always thought of you and Jimin as pretty close friends.
“Plus I heard she disappeared anyway. Jin is speculating she took off to Hawaii on her own. Namjoon told me he told the police everything this morning wanting to file a missing person report. He thought it was suspicious she just left all of her stuff, but the police said she hadn’t been gone long enough and they had an argument and probably just wanted to be away from him.”
“Do you think she’s okay?” Jungkook seemed genuinely concerned even though you were right in his closet.
“I don’t know. Yoongi was a little worried she got kidnapped at the bar after she stormed out. I don’t think anyone is looking for her though, I think she just wanted to get away. Also, you kind of disappeared that night at the bar too, didn’t you?” 
Oh shit. Was Jimin putting it all together? 
“I took someone to my place and she stayed a few nights. I don’t think I was there when all of this went down.” Jungkook’s alibi seemed solid, you hadn’t even seen him in the bar when you had gotten there.
“Well, I just wanted to stop by and check in on you.” 
“Thank you.” Jungkook’s reply sounded sincere.
“You should probably clean up a little, maybe get a real bed, it just looks kind of… sad.”
Jimin didn’t sound concerned, he sounded almost mean about it to you.
“Noted. Will do. Thanks for stopping by man.” Jungkook continued to be kind to him until he left.
You stepped out of the closet dumbfounded as Jungkook said nothing about the way Jimin had treated him or nearly accused him. He just got back into bed seemingly unphased. You followed after and just laid there for a moment thinking about times when they had all been mean to him at least once.
“Please don’t let them do that to you.” You asked.
“Hm? Oh. Yeah. That’s just what it’s like being the youngest. I’m used to them looking down on me.” 
“it doesn’t have to be that way.” 
“Why not?” He seemed genuinely interested in what you were saying because he rolled onto his side to face you.
You rolled onto yours to face him in the dark. Hair was in his face but he was looking at you with those big brown eyes.
“It can be you and me against the world if you wanted. If one of our skateboards went flying down a hill, we would be there to catch the other before they got hurt. Do you want to do that with me?” You couldn’t believe you had the guts to ask that but what you couldn’t believe even more was his reply.
“I want to do that with you. Let’s do that. I haven’t let you fall and get hurt yet, have I?” He grinned.
Little did he know that you already had fallen.
You brought your hand up to his face before scooting closer and placing your forehead against his
“Promise me you won’t let me fall.” You whispered.
“I promise.” His answer was instantaneous.
“Then I won’t let you either. Well just protect each other.” 
“Deal.” He replied before connecting your lips. 
As you kissed him you wondered if he felt the same about you as you did him already. He had to know that you were so scared, so terrified of being hurt again and that’s why you wanted to make this deal.
His hand slid down your body and back up causing your shirt to bunch. His warm hand made its way back down your skin again and just as it snaked into the band of his pajama pants you were wearing, a loud hum startled you both.
You were confused for a moment as the room grew slightly brighter.
Your phone was ringing on the wood floor.
You sat up, squinting your eyes as you picked up the phone and looked at the screen that was far too bright.
“Jin.” Your voice wasn’t at all cheerful.
“Are you going to answ-“ Jungkook’s sentence was cut off by the sound of you turning off your phone and putting it back down. 
“I can’t, I just… I don’t want to talk to him right now, I don’t want to feel that right now again… if ever. I saw what I saw and there’s no way he can convince me that I didn't see it or that you didn't too, we have photos. I'm not sure that I really ever want to talk to him again. I feel so… differently about him now and I don’t think there's any repairing that.”
He sat up, picked up his phone from his side, and turned it off too before you both laid back down.
“Good night kook.” You announced with Jin’s call not leaving you feeling right but not wanting to think about it right now.
“Night.” He replied as he pulled you against his body.
Although you tried to refuse your brain the opportunity of letting the thought of Jin right now entirely wreck your time with Jungkook, it was hard. You thought of all the restless nights when you stayed up working as an excuse to wait for Jin to get home from going out or working late. There were rarely nights like this where you could curl up against him, looking back on it there were no nights that you felt as cared about as you did now. A thought stuck to you, one you decided to think more on the next day. Did this all happen for a reason? For both of you? Would all of the suffering you’ve both been through in your relationships be worth it now?.
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You felt something soft and warm on your head. A kiss.
“Morning.” you felt a delicate breath of his whisper on your face.
“Morning.” You muttered. Your eyes stayed closed as you reached out for him and pulled him into you. He let out a quiet laugh as he let you drag him onto you as if he were your teddy bear.
“I’ve been awake a while, I went to the store in my pajamas and I thought you’d be awake by the time I got back.”
“But I wasn’t so you woke me up instead?” 
You felt his hands run up your sides and lift your shirt until the hem and bunched fabric sat under your breasts.
“I missed you.” 
“You missed me?” you couldn't help but smile before it was quickly wiped away by him crawling back a little and kissing the skin above your belly button.
“Mmm.” he hummed an answer before kissing just a bit lower.
“Remember the thing that we both never had?” you looked down to see his big brown eyes look up at you through a mess of dark hair.
It took you a moment with your still sleep fogged brain to realize what he was talking about.
“Hey Siri, set a timer for thirty minutes,”
The robotic voice replied it’s confirmation on his phone, but he was already yanking down your pants and you were lifting your butt so he could get them off.
He gently pushed your legs apart and laid on his stomach between them, starting to run very agonizingly slow kisses up your thigh. With every small warm kiss that felt just too close or every warm breath you felt of his, a tingle of anticipation went through your body. 
“I just keep thinking,” he placed another kiss on your thigh so close you felt his cheek brush against where you needed his mouth the most before he teasingly moved into the other leg “about how I have you right here” another slow kiss “after wanting you for so, so long.” 
His words hit you hard and you knew they were making you wetter. You had never been dirty talked so sweetly before, hell, it wasn’t even dirty yet here you were soaking wet and more than ready for whatever he wanted to do to you just minutes after waking up.
“God only knows” his lips touched your slit now and it was almost too much to bear “how many times I've imagined this.” his tongue dipped into your folds and licked from bottom to top, you moaned a little too loudly and jerked slightly as his wet muscle touched your clit.
You were so ready but his lips went back to your thigh. You said nothing as he repeated this pattern once and then twice, you began to more than look forward to when his tongue would meet your clit again, after the third time you swore you could cum on the next one, he was driving you insane with his teasing pattern, you felt like he was never going to let you have what you wanted.
“Jungkook please!” you nearly yelled as he once again went back to your thigh to start over. He froze, looked up at you through all of that hair with raised eyebrows, and gave you a smile of amusement.
“If you don't stop and just get on with it already then you'll see what I do to you.” you threatened.
“Maybe I'd like to find out.” he retorted.
“Get on with it!” you wailed loudly as you gave him a half pleading glare.
“Make. Me.” he looked you dead in the eyes as he spoke. It was enough to send a feeling that felt like electricity trickling through you. You started to get up to take control but he pulled your hips flat back to the bed with a delighted smile.
“Seriously?” you laughed.
“What are you gonna do?” 
You were growing more sexually frustrated with him by the second.
“Just wait.” you threatened again.
He bent his head down and kissed the folds over your clit. You took the opportunity to place your hand on his head and not let him up.
You felt him give a little laugh before he finally went to work licking and sucking at your bundle of nerves as your fingers twisted in his hair. A few moments later you felt his fingers slip into your wet cunt and press upwards, giving you everything you wanted all at once.
It hit you all at once, your orgasm shot through you. You muttered his name as you gripped his hair tighter and felt him moan into you making the pleasure feel that much better. Even though you had already cum, it was clear he wasn’t about to stop, his fingers and mouth were working you so passionately and quickly. You were so sensitive your legs twitched every time his mouth did something too rough with you, but it just felt so good. 
You looked down at him between your legs as you felt yourself building up again and watched his eyes shut and his head moving between your legs. You don’t know how or why you found it as hot as you did, but it was enough to make you cum again just as the timer on his phone went off.
“Fuck fuck fuck” you breathed as a blissful feeling washed over you like an oven wave
He looked up at you and as soon as he was sure you were done, he stopped. He went to wipe his mouth on the back of his arm when you demanded he take his pants off.
He looked at you with raised eyebrows and a little surprise.
“Tell it to set a timer for thirty minutes.” 
“I-oh-okay. You don’t need to do that if you-“
“Do it.” You demanded once more as you took off your shirt.
“Hey Siri, set a timer for thirty minutes.” He said as he shed himself of his pajamas and sat up.
A thought had crossed your mind to tease him as he had you, but you couldn’t do that. You loved the look of it thick and veiny, the head of it already leaking from everything he had just done to you. You wanted the feeling of it filling your mouth and throat, you wanted to please him.
You watched as his already hard cock stood tall waiting for you to touch it, and you wasted no time doing so. You leaned down only playing with the head in your mouth with your tongue at first, getting a feel for the satisfaction of him inside of your mouth. He gasped when you took him all abruptly into the back of your throat. You decided immediately that you wanted to hear more of that sound so you let your head bob before your hand joined in at his shaft to help. You didn’t start slow whatsoever. You were set on making him cum faster and harder than he ever had before, throwing out the idea of time altogether. 
He sat back on his hands to hold himself up but those began to shake too the faster you went. Spit ran down onto his balls and you thought about playing with them but you felt like that might tip him over the edge. 
He was full of open-mouth moans, ones you wouldn’t mind hearing the rest of your life to the body and cock and personality of a man you wouldn’t mind having the rest of your life.
Just as you thought about it you shut the thought down and concentrated on making him feel better.
“God, you’re so beautiful.” You made out from his moans.
You kept going and felt his hips thrust up into your face in tandem with your movements. He was close, unbelievably, but for some reason, he was hanging on. Only a moment later you found out why.
“Fuck me. I bought condoms this morning, fuck me. Please I’m begging you.”
You pulled your mouth off of his cock with a lewd noise and looked at him but he was already standing up, dick as hard as a statue to crinkle a plastic bag on the island beside you both. 
“I’m deathly scared of having children when living in a place so small and with no job…”
“Thank you.” You didn't know what else to say as you watched him rip off a packet, come back to his knees, and roll the condom onto himself. 
“But then again if I did… wouldn’t that just fuck with Jin knowing I got you pregnant?” He lifted a brow.
Something about that turned you into a complete animal. You kept onto his lap and clung to him. Your lips smashed into his as you reached between the both of you and guided his dick into your hole. 
He felt just as good and filling inside of your pussy as he did your mouth. No one has ever filled you up this well, no one had ever wanted you so much.
He thrust upwards with you on his lap. You were practically a rag doll under the grip he had on your hips.
You began to rock your hips to the steady and slow way his hands commanded them.
“Ahh god.” He moaned as he let his head fall onto your shoulder and you wrapped your arms wrap around his shoulders so that your bodies pressed together.
“I love you.” He placed a kiss on your shoulder blade and whispered into your sweat sticky skin.
Your heart stopped but your hips didn’t.
He said it. It had taken him only three days. You recalled it had taken Seokjin six months and fifteen days exactly to say what Jungkook had in only three. The both of you had figured it out in only three days.
“I love you too.” You raced to say. 
His lips caught yours as he pressed you down onto his cock hard and rolled his hips under you with a grunt.
“These have been the best days of my life with you and I want to keep it that way. I want them all to be the best.” He was out of breath, his eyes were closed and his forehead rested against yours.
“Please.” You begged for the same. “Let’s move away and just be together.”
He let out a small laugh before he smiled.
“Is this gross? This is so weird, it’s only been three days.”
“I’ve never been happier.” You stated a fact. You had thought about it and thought about it non-stop. It wasn’t just attraction, lust, or infatuation you felt for him, this ran deep, deep into his personality, deep into the way he thought and did things. Far deeper than his cock that was buried inside of you right now.
“I bet I could make you happier.” He tried to hide a prideful smile.
“Oh yeah? How so?” You couldn’t help but smile back.
“I could make you cum again.”
Before you could answer he was giving you a quick kiss before practically tossing you off of him with a grin.
He grabbed your hips and flipped you over so that you were on all fours. The tingle that you got down your spine from this gesture was unbelievable.
“Hurry up and fuck me.” You demanded but he shushed you as you felt him press into your cunt.
He had only been not inside of you for a moment but your body had missed the feeling.
You gasped as you felt his grips tighten on your hips and pull your body backward onto him. He went full speed, full force slamming into you. His balls slapped against you. You were already so sensitive, so sore and tired, but you continued to want more.
“Has Jin ever fucked you like this?” 
You had never heard his voice so rough, so teasing, so devilish. You were about to lose it.
“No.” You whined.
“Who does this pussy belong to? Who’s the only person to ever cum inside of you?”
Your arms were shaking, struggling to hold yourself up. Your mouth was slightly open and your brain was so lost that you struggled for even the most simple reply.
“You.” Managed to move from your brain to your lips.
You felt his hand reach around to your clit and begin to rub fast and hard circles. It didn’t take long after that for your brain to shut down, to make way for the orgasm that blew through you like a car explosion. Your arms gave out and your face ended up on the mattress while your ass stayed in the air for him. You felt like you had melted as his dirty talk became mutters and moans. You felt his cock get harder inside of you and spill warm liquid into the condom. 
“I’ve-“ he panted from behind you with his hips now still “I’ve never had sex that good- besides- besides yesterday.”
You’d agree, but you were still a puddle with your cheek pressed into the sheets until you let yourself plop on your side after he pulled out. You felt so high. You laid there for a moment as he took off to the bathroom. He was in there a while, so you decided to get dressed in your clean clothes that he had washed last night that resided in his closet.
You were in disbelief, your hands were shaking as you pulled on the clothes.
Did he mean it?
It had only been three days since he held you in that parking lot as you cried. You remembered the hurt you felt when Jin had seen Jin cheat on you. It was the kind of hurt that left a scar on your soul. You were afraid.
Jungkook was so beautiful and so kind and you had fallen hard, too hard. You didn’t even know anything about his family or where he grew up or if he had ever had any pets or his favorite color.
Your mind was spinning, you were freaking out.
You slipped your shoes by the door on and began unlocking it.
“What are you doing?” 
His voice stopped you for a moment.
You thought about lying. You couldn’t lie, but you sure as hell couldn’t face him.
“I-I think I should go.” You stammered.
“Can we talk? Was it something I said?” 
You could hear his footsteps slowly come closer as if he was trying to approach a scared baby deer to keep it from darting away, and that’s exactly what you felt you were.
“What was it I said? The Jin stuff or the I love you?” 
You could tell his brain was doing whatever it could to piece together why you were leaving.
Just hearing him say the words again shredded you apart.
You felt your eyes welling up.
“Hey, hey look at me, please.” His voice was gentle and now coming from behind you. You couldn’t ignore him, not when he sounded so sweet. You faced him and his eyes scanned over the tears slipping down your cheeks.
“If you didn’t mean it that’s okay, you don’t have to right now. I won’t say it again if-“
“I did mean it.” Your lip quivered “I’m just so scared.”
You watched as his eyebrows furrowed at your words while waiting for you to explain.
“I was just hurt and…”
“If you don’t want to do this-I-I knew going into this that you were hurt, and trying to heal and a relationship might be too much for you while… it was selfish of me to-”
you cut him off by shaking your head.
“no.” you sniffled “I want you, I'm just afraid of being hurt. If I was hurt this badly by Jin, I can't even imagine how badly you could hurt me.” 
His big eyes stared with crinkled brows at you for a moment until he wrapped his arms around you.
“I swear I will never ever hurt you. I will never do what he did to you. Never.” 
Your teary cheek pressed into his neck as you breathed in his calming scent. “I'm so scared of being hurt too, I know how you're feeling. I thought you would end up going back to him and I would lose you. So many things that could make you not want me and so many ways this could go wrong keep running through my head. Please remember what you said, we're here now for each other, it's us against the world. Please please please don't leave me.”
You felt his cheek rest on the top of your head.
“I won't. I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking, I'm so sorry.” you sniffled with guilt and let your arms snake around his torso.
His form was becoming so familiar to you now, his scent already smelled of home, perhaps it did from the moment you had first let him hold you. Perhaps you were all his from that very moment in the parking lot, perhaps you both belonged to each other all along and just didn't know.
“I love you,” you spoke the words first this time, you felt no fear about it.
“I love you too, so much.” his hands slowly rubbed your back as you felt him kiss the top of your head.
You closed your eyes and took it all in, just you and him. You wished at that moment that you could go back and do it over. You would've picked him over anything else, and you knew you'd be so happy if you would've.
“Thank you for not letting me go.” you pulled back and looked into his eyes. “I could've really messed up just now.” 
He gave you a heartfelt smile.
“I hope you would've come back, I’d miss you a lot until you did. We're supposed to be together, you know.” he raised an eyebrow at you.
“Oh yeah?” you couldn't help the smile that spread on your face.
“Mhmm. I have proof.” he lifted a hand and held it up fingers spread. “Give me your hand”
You thread your fingers through his and he let your held hands fall at your sides.
“Now close your eyes.”
You did just as he instructed and felt his forehead rest against his.
You had just had sex but any time you were this close to him made your heart pound so hard. It was as if he had unintentionally trained your body to do this for him.
“Do you feel it?” he whispered “Do you feel that feeling in the pit of your stomach telling you that you'll never love this hard again?”
You had. You had and that's what has scared you so much.
“I do,” you whispered back.
“And can you see it? I can. I can see us moving together to the place you've always dreamed of. You'll get mad at me for being so messy but I’ll just admire you even if you're yelling at me.” 
You felt another small smile on your face as you imagined his words.
“I'll still love you even if I'm upset at you for being messy.” you let out a small breath of laughter.
“I know you will. We'll love each other no matter what because we'll be good to each other, we'll always be there to catch each other. You have absolutely nothing to worry about. Please believe me. I'm yours.”
You felt him kiss your cheek softly and you have him a nod.
Your soul felt so at ease. He had calmed your pain once again.
“If you're losing your mind in here we could just go for a walk you know.” he chuckled.
“Let's do that.” you agreed to it, knowing that he was about to take you out on another adventure.
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You laid in his lap and looked up at his jawline. He was playing a video game, but it was fine with you as long as you got this view. He would occasionally run his fingers through your hair or readjust the flower in it that he had picked and stuck in it during your walk earlier.
Sunset was pouring through the sheer curtains making his skin look so golden. You loved the way he looked at this hour, his appearance matched his heart. You felt so warm and loved even when he wasn’t directly giving you his attention. Jungkook’s cup was always overflowing for you when you were used to only a cup half full. You, yourself, had always offered a full cup, but you never got the love you had given back.
“Do you think we’ve earned each other?” you asked as you looked up feeling the urge to kiss every piece of his jaw.
He paused his game and looked down at you.
“I do. I think we're very deserving of one another… Well, I have thought you were always too good for me, but we're both deserving of the love for each other.”
“You thought I was too good for you?” you broke out into laughter. 
“Don't laugh, I still think that.” he was serious.
“Nooooo no no no.” you shook your head. “Why would you think that?”
He shrugged.
“Well don't think that.” you sat up.
“Sometimes it's hard not to, look at me, I'm jobless right now and you're self-made. I live in a gutter with a mattress on the floor and you-”
You shut him up by pressing your lips to his and bringing your hand up to his cheek.
“I don't care about any of that,” you told him.
“I'm going to make sure we live a good life.” 
“I'm pretty happy with you fucking me on this mattress on the floor and we can live the rest of our lives this way, I don't care.” you had to drive the point home for him. Having a good life for you wasn't about what he had to offer, but the beautiful way he lived it, you didn't want that to change.
He crashed his lips into yours now and sent you backward. Your tongues met and lashed together and suddenly your hands were all over each other.
“I love you,” he mumbled into your lips as you tried to peel his shirt off.
“I love you too,” you replied as his hands pushed up your t-shirt and bra.
His lips went right for your nipples and the feel of his tongue and teeth mixing on the nerves made you arch your back into his mouth. You were once again getting high on him.
“I want you to fuck me and cum inside of me.” your mouth spouted off.
He moaned against your breast and you swear you felt his body shiver.
His mouth popped off of your nipple leaving it cold and wet.
“Fucking marry me,” he demanded before his mouth went to the other one.
At that moment you would. You wanted that, it sounded beautiful to you.
“Please. Let's do it. You want kids?” 
“Mhmm,” he replied as his teeth tugged at your perfect bud. 
“Fuck let's have kids.” 
He sat up between your legs and began undoing his belt.
You knew there was no way right now, you were on birth control but something about saying it all and imagining the perfect life was really doing it for you right now.
He tugged his pants off only leaving him I'm his underwear before undoing yours and pulling everything down just enough to get his hand in.
His fingers ran over your already slick folds.
“I'm going to do this to you every damn day of my life.”
A knocking made you both freeze.
“Don’t answer it,” you whispered, pulling him into you so you can connect lips again. 
For a moment you both did ignore the knocking until it turned to banging.
“Open the fucking door Jungkook!”
It was Jin. You had never heard him so angry.
“Shit fuck no.” you whispered as you both jumped up and pulled at your clothes so they seemed normal “he knows. How does he fucking know?” you whisper yelled in panic.
“He might not. It's okay, it's going to be okay.” 
“Maybe you should call the police.” you tried to get Jungkook to hear you over the pounding at the door.
“I'll step outside and talk to him. It will be okay.” even looking as scared as he did he was still trying to make you feel okay.
You slipped back into the closet but this time you left the door slightly open and peered through the crack.
You watched as Jungkook answered the door, went to step outside but Jin pushed him back.
“Where the fuck is she?” it hadn't taken long for Jin’s eyes to examine the room.
“Who?” Jungkook was once again playing stupid.
“What the fuck is all of this?” Jin nearly yelled, pointing to the condom wrapper still on the floor and the places on Jungkook’s neck. “I know for a fact your girlfriend flew home just last week.” 
“I don't have a girlfriend anymore, Jin.” you could hear the agitation in Jungkook’s words through his clenched jaw.
“Then explain.”
“I don’t have to.” 
“No? Well, I talked to her and she said she hasn’t heard from you in three days, just like the rest of us have both with y/n and you.”
Your heart felt like it had dropped into your stomach as you now stood there frozen.
“I saw you taking photos, you didn't even try to help get the girl off of me, you just took photos. I know you sent them to her. I know what you've been telling all of the others. I know this was a setup. I know you've always been jealous of me.”
“Jin, do you know how insane you sound right now? You need to-”
“YOU KNOW I’D NEVER CHEAT ON HER, I NEVER HAVE!” Jin yelled, “So why were you taking photos?”
“Jin, I saw you kissing the other girl.” Jungkook’s voice stayed calm.
“I didn't want it, she had me pinned, Namjoon had to come to help me. Everyone has told me you've been telling them this isn't the first time I’ve supposedly done this either, explain that!”
“Look Jin, you're the cheater here! Don't come to my house and start accusing me of shit!” Jungkook finally snapped.
“YOU’RE AN INSANE MONSTER, JUNGKOOK! WHERE IS SHE?” Jin screamed as loudly as he could.
“I DON'T KNOW.” 
You noted how easily lying came to Jungkook.
“You know! You know because you set this up, you're a fucking stalker and I've always done my best to protect her from you. You gonna tell her how I caught you following her to her classes in college when you didn't even go there? Or how Hobi found a picture you somehow had of her in your room at your parent’s house? Where is she so I can tell her, I will tell her everything.” Jin was seething in anger with his fists tightly gripped into fists at his side.
You still didn't step out of the closet.
“Fine! Fucking fine! You want me to tell you that I fucked her? I fucked her multiple times! I came inside of her, she told me she loved me. Is that what you wanted to hear?” 
“You're sick.” Jin growled. 
“At least I'm not a cheater.” Jungkook struck right back with his words.
“You ARE! And you're a fucking obsessed freak. I swear if you ever talk to me or any of our friends again I'll kill you!” tears ran down his cheeks.
“You're the one that's fucking insane, Jin.”
Upon hearing Jungkook’s words, Jin dove at him but only managed to push him back a little.
Seokjin was sobbing, he gave up and took off out the door.
As Jungkook closed and locked the front door things were silent.
You still stood in the closet and now felt warm liquid blurring your vision and spilling from your eyes. Your body was shaking.
He opened the closet, taking you by the arm and gently pulling you out.
You covered your mouth to try to keep the break down in.
“I can explain.” 
He didn't deny it, not any of it.
“What's true? You said you wouldn't hurt me so just tell me.” you forced even your shaking voice out.
“Listen, I've never- I haven't felt the way I feel about you with anyone before, and I…”
“Oh my God.” you said as your knees now shook “It’s all true, isn't it? Oh my fucking God.” 
“I-” he went to speak but your body had gone into fight or flight and you walked past him. Your body was trying to protect you by gathering your things, but it felt too late for it to kick in.
“I love you, I always have. I can text her right now and dump her.” he was following you around.
His voice felt so distorted as you felt so out of your own body.
“You haven't yet?!” you snapped at him. “At the very least you could have already done that. If you actually did love me you wouldn't have done all of this! What the fuck is up with the talking anyway?!”
“Please don't leave me, please, I'm begging you. I meant everything I said.” he began to cry now too.
“I didn't!” you were hurting and you wanted him to hurt worse. “I was only fucking you to make myself feel better about Jin! You set this up! You ruined my relationship and hurt me! You're a fucking freak! I never want to see you again!” 
You marched to the door, very aware he had crumpled onto the floor in hard sobs behind you.
You walked, you simply just walked in the chilly night, still crying, your things under your arm. The worst part is that you did love him, you had meant everything you said to him too, but he had planned all of this. You no longer thought of him as golden, but fools gold.
You had no idea how long you had been walking, but you decided to sit down on the side of a curb.
Your hands shakily turned on your phone and texts and missed calls flooded through but you ignored them.
The first thing you did was block everyone's number. You were done, it was over, you never wanted to do any of this ever again.
The next thing you did was book a one-way plane ticket to Hawaii. 
You deserved to be happy, even if, for the first time, it was only you. Your cup had always been full of loving others, but never did you think until now that that cup could be full for only you. You wouldn't ever let anyone take from your cup ever again. What filled your cup was genuine, it was gold while all the rest held only water. 
“Tomorrow is going to be better.” you told yourself.
You weren't happy now, but you knew you would be. You could take yourself on adventures every day, you could put flowers in your own hair, and if you fell down a hill at full speed, you could catch yourself. You promised that you'd never let yourself fall ever again.
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allywritesforfun · 3 years
Note
Uhhh, a part 2 of the AweSamDude story. I don't know, maybe the court case would be cool! If requests arent open, then ignore them
um yes! I have wanted to make a part 2 for so long but had no clue where to start and this just makes perfect sense!
{Locked Up Heart pt 2} irl!warden!awesamdude x Reader
pronouns: were originally not mentioned, but now are she/they
word count: 2987
trigger warnings: mention/talk of rape and murder, court cases, somewhat angsty 
a/n: the law I mentioned is a real law but I can't remember what the law is actually called so roll with it
part one
masterlist
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You stared at yourself in the body mirror. You haven't seen yourself look like this in years. All dressed up and ready to impress. You wore a gorgeous black suit with a purple inside along with sleek black pants. You looked into the body mirror, admiring yourself.
Sam let you live with him “until you could find your own place” but neither of you had intentions of leaving. You looked at apartments once online, but you knew with this on your record that you were going nowhere but some run down ghetto, and Sam knew that too. 
He knew that you would be able to take care of yourself there, he wasn't scared for your safety or any of that. He was scared that you wouldn't be able to support yourself. Finding a job was hard, all that there was these days for someone like you was online surveys that were not reliable.
Staying with Sam was the best of the both of you. He has been without a roommate for years now. He felt less alone with you being there. The first couple nights were awkward. You slept on the pull out couch and didn't have much clothes. You felt terrible about the amount of washes you did, but eventually you started to get more comfortable with Sam. 
The first sign of progression was when he offered you his sweatshirt instead of a blanket. It was a sweet gesture, you gladly took it. Later that night instead of returning it, you cuddled it to sleep. Now, its your version of a teddy bear. Nice and warm and flourished with Sam’s scent.
You only started sleeping in his bed with him a week ago. It was a purposeful accident. He offered to watch tv in his room since you two deep cleaned the couch. You've planned on falling asleep on him, but you didn't plan for it to be that day. 
It was the best feeling in the world: waking up to being wrapped around and held tight and safe. You must've laid there when you woke up for an hour before Sam got up. You pretended to be asleep so that you could play the innocent girl card. It worked.
You felt a pair of large hands caress your waist. You jumped and had a little fear-induced hiccup.
“Sorry!” Sam took his hands off and backed away. “I’m still getting used to sensitive areas.”
You two have been working on okay areas to touch. You taught yourself to be extra alert while in the prison and certain touches trigger your reflexes and others cause panic, like hips.
Because of your high murder count, you were sent to the normal prison, the non-all woman prison. It wasn't the worst in the world. You only saw males during eating times, but it was common to get grabbed like that. It happened to every single female, every eating hour. The guards did nothing about it, not that they really could. 
Sam has seen it before, not you, but to other women. He had an idea of areas to stay away from, but he is such an affectionate guy and sometimes he forgets.
“You’re okay, Sam. The more you do it, the more comfortable I’ll get with it,” You explained.
Sam was so good to you. He’s helped you through it all. Everything that you needed to heal, he gave to you. 
“Well then maybe after the trial we can get some practice in...” He swooned. 
You chuckled, “If we win. There’s a chance I won't come back here tonight. I’m lucky enough that they gave me stay at home orders in the meantime.”
He nodded, “We’re gonna win.” He kissed your cheek, “How could anyone that looks as scrumptious as you right now lose? There is no way. We have the evidence, and we have your perfect prison record. Not a single misdemeanor! They might not drop all chargers but you’re coming home tonight.”
“Home?” You questioned.
You've avoided that word for the longest time. You always said ‘the house’ or ‘your place’. Not because you didn’t want this to be your home, not the exact opposite. You wanted this to be forever home, but you never wanted to overstay your welcome. 
“Yes home,” Sam laughed. “Why wouldn’t this be home... you feel safe here don’t you?”
“I do!” You exclaimed, waving your hands back and forth in denial. “I just didn't realize you wanted this to be my home.”
Sam offered his hand out to you; you gladly took it. His soft hand gently squeezed yours as he pulled you slowly into him, embracing you, “Of course I want this to be your home. I couldn't imagine anywhere else I would want you to be. This never felt like home to me, until you came home with me.”
You breathed in his scent, instantly relaxing into him, “I like it here. A lot.”
He pressed his lips to your forehead, “Now have that same attitude in court, we got to go.”
The court room was filled, more than you expected. You looked around, not recognizing a single face except for a few prison guards who were testifying on both sides. You noticed the media set it up in the back. Your story hit the news faster than expected. You did have a great story: warden falls in love with murder. 
“Hands out,” The officer directed.
You obliged. You opposed no threat to anyone and no intentions too, but if putting you in handcuffs made them feel better, then handcuffs it was. You looked back at Sam as the cold metal locked around your wrists. He replied with a frown, which quickly turned into an encouraging smile.
His bipolarness was the vibe right now. You noticed people having a hard time deciding where to sit. There were a lot of people on both sides, but no family members of yours. You gave up on them a long time ago when you noticed they weren’t writing letters and ignoring your calls.
You didn't need them, all you needed was Sam. You have everything you want right now, except for freedom.
“All rise!” 
You stood up from the wooden bench. The judge walked in wearing the classic black gown and had a book in his hands. He nodded at a few of his guards before taking a seat. He opened up his book and looked around the room, landing on you.
“Good afternoon everyone, and there are a lot of you,” His voice was so deep that it bounced against the walls, making an eerie echo. “Calling the case of State Prison vs y/n. Are both sides ready?”
The representative of the prison and your lawyer both replied with a yes. The jury then stood and raised their right hand and made their oath, returning to the bench. 
The representative stood up and gave their opening statement: “Ladies and gentleman of the court, Your Honor, the Jury. You will find that the defendant has been charged with four accounts of murder and convicted by confession. The defendant has taken accountability for all the murders committed and has given detail about how she killed those four men. It is ridiculous that we are here in court today deciding if we can release a serial killer back into the public. With a strong motive to kill, there is no reason why the defendant should be let back into the public eye.”
Serial killer. That is what you are. No one has ever said it that way, but he was absolutely right. You fit the definition perfectly, you had a type and more than three victims. It already wasn't looking good for you.
Your lawyer took center stage, “A martyr is the perfect word to describe the defendant. They have given their life to the state to save the lives of many to come. The strength that my client displays and ownership prove that although they are guilty of the crimes, they are still human and deserve a second chance.”
The judge called you to take the stand. You sat down after taking your oath and folded your hands neatly in your lap.
“Miss l/n,” He started. “Today you are trying to get your case dismissed after confessing to your crimes. That is very interesting. Let’s go back to before the crimes were committed, what were you thinking, what were you doing in your life at the time?”
You shook your head, “Many years ago I was an activist. I enjoyed speaking to the public about issues facing the community and the world at the time. If I wasn't outside with a sign, I was inside posting on social media. I was in college, I was studying Political Science.”
“And what were you planning on doing with the major?”
You paused. It’s been so long that you had a hard time remembering why you wanted to study and what career you wanted, “I was planning on becoming a political journalist, Your Honor.”
He shuffled around his papers, “I’ve looked at your latest credit that you were working on. It was a Sociology class. Do you remember what topic you were discussing in class?”
You nodded, “Rape. The number of rapes in a year and the number of rapists convicted was the last assignment I was working on.”
You remember that assignment like it was yesterday. That one assignment got you so worked up and so mad at the world, that you just had to do something. There was no way that you couldn't. Women’s voices were being ignored and cases rose every day; repeat offenders increased everyday.
“Now to my understanding all the men that you murdered were accused of rape.”
You nodded, “Yes, Your Honor.”
“The attorney may ask questions to Miss l/n.”
The attorney stood up and adjusted your jacket, “Miss l/n, did any of those men physically harm you?”
You shook your head, “No.”
“So you took advantage of the fact that you were young to persuade the men into being alone with you just to kill them?”
You shook your head, “No, I didn’t persuade them at all. All of them suggested going back to their place.”
“But you did stalk them to find out where they were going?”
“No,” You answered. “They had their location public on their phone. All I did was look up their name and I knew where they were.”
“So these men did nothing to you at all except invite you over to their house. And you accepted the offer under no influence or threat. You killed four innocent men and you want to be let back out on the streets? This woman is a danger to society. She seeks out innocent men to end their life for no reason.” He nodded his head and went back to his desk, looking at his notes. He looked back at you and nodded, “That will conclude my questioning.”
You looked back at your lawyer, they gave you back a look of relief. Then you searched the crowd for Sam. Once you found him he gave you a thumbs up. It seemed like you were already on top of the case.
“Miss y/n,” Your lawyer started. “We all know that you killed those men, but why?”
“They raped multiple women. When brought to court, they were given a light sentence and did not do proper justice to the woman. These woman went day to day fearing for their life that they ever spoke out about the terrible things that happened to them. I couldn't let myself live knowing that there was a reason for women to be scared because their government had failed them.”
“Those women were scared? Why were they scared?” “Because they feared that they would get raped again. All of those men were repeat offenders. They would only take more victims and never be punished.”
“So you killed those men to prevent others from being hurt with evidence that it would happen again.”
You nodded, “I would never hurt anyone that had no intentions of causing harm.”
“Miss l/n just described public defense. Under the public defense law, anyone can defend the public with reasonable cause. It’s like self-defense, but for others. She shouldn’t have been committed in the first place. If those men were still alive, they would have kept raping until they were killed. Miss y/n saved lives. That concludes my questioning.”
You were dismissed from the stand and went back by your lawyer. They smiled at you, knowing that with that alone, they had won the case.
The attorney called Sam to the stand; he took his oath and sat down.
“So, Sam. You were the warden in charge of the wing that Miss y/n was being held in?”
“Yes.”
“That prison is a tough place to be, she must’ve fussed around a lot.”
Sam shook his head, “Not one bit. She does not have a single complaint against her. Everything that was asked of her, she did with speed and efficiency. She didn't have one lash out in her time.”
“Nothing at all?”
“Like I said, not one complaint.”
“To my understanding you have a relationship with Miss l/n, is that correct?”
“Objection!” Your lawyer yelled. “Irrelevant to the case. Sam was called because of his position and his professional opinion, not his personal life.”
“Sustained.”
“That concludes my questioning.”
Your lawyer stood up and nodded. You could feel that they were about to lay down the last blow.
“Sam, did this prison have any rapists?”
He nodded, “All kinds of rapists, of all ages and target groups.”
“Did Miss l/n ever have contact with these rapists?”
“Yes. Most of the time during eating hours and the occasional passing in the hall.”
“And how did that interaction go?”
“Miss l/n was given a hard time by these rapists. While waiting in line she was often sexually grabbed. During passing she was cat called and teased at.”
“And what was here response to the sexual assault?”
“Stone faced, emotionless. Every time it happened it amazed me how she would just stand there and wait to be given a direction. The most reaction she’s ever had was lightly shuffling her body to get them off, but she never lunged or reached at them.”
“And what did the other guards do when they noticed this behavior?”
“Nothing. Sometimes they yelled if it was getting close to rape, but overall nothing. We were under instructions not to react because in the past it only caused encouragement of the assault. Prisoners love any excuse to fight a guard,” Sam looked over at you. “I am so sorry that there was nothing I could’ve done. Everyday I watched as you were touched and I wanted to give it to them, I wanted to make sure that I would see them every day of their life, but I couldn't. I couldn't risk hurting you more.”
You smiled, almost tearing up at his words, but you kept yourself composed with a small sniffle.
“The main concern of Miss y/n going back into the public is that she will kill again. As said by her and concluded by a court, she only killed rapists,” Your lawyer pointed out. “As stated by the warden in charge of looking over her, she had the opportunity to kill. She had the opportunity to hurt them, but she never took it. Even after being sexually assaulted, she still kept to herself. This is undeniable evidence that Miss y/n is a changed woman. In her file it is stated that she did more than required community service and went above and beyond with helping other cellmates. Her actions within the prison prove that she is a well-rounded and caring individual. She has changed her ways and is ready to go back into the world. She did justice to the world and it is time for the world to her justice.”
You waited anxiously for over an hour to find out what the jury had decided. You and your lawyer talked about possible outcomes. They told you the sooner they made the decision, the better chances that you had. You had no error in your case and said everything that you wanted to say. The opposing side’s evidence was all proven false.
You got called back into the court, the jury had made their final decision. You rose for the judge and took a seat when prompted. You could feel your leg bouncing.
“In the case of the State Prison vs l/n...” the judge started. You looked over your shoulder at Sam. He had his hands placed in a praying position with his head resting against them. “Miss y/n is found not guilty of all charges and her remaining sentence will be dismissed. She will compensated for her time falsely spent in prison plus be rewarded another trial for her sexual assault. This case is adjourned.”
You could feel emotion flood through you. Pure happiness and joy leaked from your eyes. You tilted your head back in relief and squeezed at your heart. All of these years of the bullshit you put up with was all worth it. You hugged your lawyer and thanked them up and down, the emotion so strong in you that you almost dropped to your knees. You were caught by familiar hands: Sam. Sam pulled you up and into him. He was practically jumping up and down in excitement. He calmed down for a second to lock eyes with you. He couldn't help but smile and cry with you. He placed his hands on your cheeks and pulled you into a deep kiss. It was nothing extravagant, just a simple deep and meaningful kiss that said all the words that he wanted to say.
“I’m coming home!”
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mrpenguinpants · 3 years
Text
Genshin: University AU [V1]
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I love modern au. Or any “everything is fine, no one died, it’s just a fever dream” au. Half of me is thinking, damn maybe I should answer this serious- LOL HAHA no. That’s not happening. Time to crack my knuckles and let my brainworms take over again.
Once again, this is 90% crack 10% content. I want to switch up my characters from the last brainworm post but I included Kaeya and Diluc.
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Today’s appreciation post goes to twistedwishes. Hey! I’ve been seeing you pop up a lot lately and thanks for the support 💕💕 I hope things are going better for you and you’re doing alright^^ I feel kinda bad for making appreciation posts on crack fics but hopefully this is somewhat funny haha. 
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Genshin: Holding Hands [V1]
Genshin: When you’re cold [V1]
Genshin: Roommate [V1]
Genshin: Royalty AU [V1]
[Masterlist]
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[taglist]  <- if you want to be added, please read this first.
  @mikeysbike @hanniejji@unionwitch @musekala @twistedsunnshiii @stanzastic @akaasea @xoneaboveallx @adoring-ghost @asheseiler @childelover @dilucsz @dai-tsukki-desu @thicmitten @youaskedfurret @diaxfeliz @wintergreen-aix @dandelily @thegayrubberducky @lovelykittycatmeow @yuunoagivesmelife  @dokidokisama @simpygrimoire @minakohasmanyhusbandos @strwbrry-lia @tigerpriestess @yuu-yuukurotsuki​
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Diluc
Absolute pretty boy who has braincells, but only if Kaeya is not there. In his mind, Kaeya’s presence makes his room loose 40% of their common sense. He can’t prove it just yet but he’s working on it. He majors in accounting but also has a minor in marketing, logistics’ management, fia- he majors everything business related. He’s going to become the next Elon Musk through smarts or by getting the competition drunk. There can be no contest if he’s the only candidate. He’s actually a hard working guy that overworks and stresses way too much. You have daily “Diluc recharge” evenings where he just hangs onto you while you go through your day.
“Don’t fucking talk to me until I’ve had my coffee,” except there is no coffee - he drinks grape juice out of juice boxes and his only energy boost is when he meets up with you - and that’s his constant mood. So he usually only hangs around you and Jean, since she has childhood friend status and is actually an angel. By default, Lisa is added and Diluc doesn’t mind her but if he see’s Kaeya, it’s full on war paint mode. If he's not busy with work or studies, he's usually with you either in your dorm or his apartment.
He has a fanclub and he seriously hates it and tries to do everything in his power to get Ningguang to take it down. Shouldn’t this be against his rights? But she refuses for whatever reason and makes a whole speech about free will. No matter what he does, someone manages to take a picture and it get’s printed in the university’s newspaper. The only bonding time he has with Kaeya is every Monday, where they collect and burn all the universities newspapers before anyone can get their hands on it. You always bring marshmallows to make smores during their arson activities.
“When I graduate I’m going to burn this school down to the ground. That’s not a threat it’s a promise.”
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Ningguang
Is secretly the leader of the Diluc fanclub - not that she likes Diluc, she’s in a questionable platonic poly marriage with you and Beidou - but it was the easiest way to gain funds for the student council. Which she is the president of, so rip Diluc the fanclub stays. Ruthless business woman I tell you. But she can run in heels so her danger factor rises by at least 20%.
Majors in social sciences and law but more specifically the political science & government. She saw the Imperial State Crown that the Queen of England wears and says yes, that’s mine now. If she’s not with Beidou and you planning on “how to infiltrate the state government just for lols”, then she’s with Keqing, Ganyu, and Zhongli discussing student council things. Should they or should they not tell the student body that they can see everyone’s search results? Sit back and relax as the school goes into chaos. 
She’s probably the scariest person on campus No, she is the scariest person on campus. She’s the scariest person on campus. But secretly she’s popping 20 aspirins just to make it through a night. She has the digestive system of steel. She still holds the title of "seriously do not try and beat her in a drinking game it's never going to happen" and that's her proudest achievement in life but sadly she can’t put it on her resume. Kaeya is still trying to beat her out of spite but so far it hasn't been working. You’re seriously concerned for her when she get’s challenged but Beidou gives you a way-to-hard slap on the back and cheers her on. If Ninngguang somehow get’s alcohol poisonings she’ll somehow find away to make a profit out of it.
"I'll let him die, I'll get the insurance money."
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Kaeya
One day he chugged too much mouth wash, passed out, and somehow woke up in university majoring in law. His idea is that if he is apart of the law, he can therefore stand above it. To be fair, his only goal in life is to say “I am the manager” and he can go live the rest of his life in bliss or as a hermit. He’s secret best friends with you but wouldn't be caught dead beside you. He will stab a bitch if you ever get hurt but will still trip you on the way home. Seriously, you have no idea why people find him attractive. Your guess is it’s the eye patch or the clap of his ass cheeks that keeps alerting everyone.  
He’s apart of the newspaper club and if anyone asks: No, he has no idea who keeps taking all the newspapers and burns them in the back of the campus. Originally, he joined because he was nosy and needed to join some type of club for his resume. He sometimes feels bad for his junior assistant Amber because he keeps tricking her and says that Diluc is secretly a demon that is trying to steal all the jobs and is apart of the lizard government hell bent on eradicating the human race. He even brought out a whiteboard for this joke, he’s dedicated to his job ok? 
The type of guy to try and be humble and say his work is “okay” but will choke a bitch if anyone agrees. He tends to leave everything last minute and says that it’s his drug since actual drugs could land you one year in prison and a maximum penalty of $2,000. You have to awkwardly hold in your concerned mother head shake when you see him speed running his assignment literally right when the professor is walking around to check if students finished. 
“I was taught how to lead not to read.”
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Mona
Broke wallet #2. Zhongli is broke wallet #1 but Childe simps for him so is he really a broke wallet at this point? In this essay, I Mona Megistus, will explain why I have the rights to the title “Broke Wallet #1″...
Believes that astrology should be an actual career path but refuses to take astronomy as her major. I can read the stars not a textbook that tells me how to calculate the mass of the sun divided by the fucks I give. Instead she went into Philosophy and cries to Albedo, who is an actual prodigy genius- sir lend some braincells to everyone else please?, that her professor keep turning her paper down because “star reading” is not an academic source.
Fischl wants her to join the occult club because, surprisingly, Mona is very good at telling people’s fates through her crayon sketch ouija board. She thinks first year Fischl is cute but is put off by the cosplay roleplay that she has going on. She would join except that stupid hat wearing gremlin in her lit class would make fun of her if he found out.
You gave her half your lunch one day and bought her a doughnut "because she seemed upset" and "out of the goodness of your heart" whatever the hell that means. She thinks you pensioned it but once that thought comes she takes a bite. Poison from a doughnut is not the worst way to go out, classes are hard enough. She’s waiting for the lord to strike her down anyways. 
“Its not about passing, its about doing better than everyone else.”
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Venti
Slept through most of highschool and people question how he got into university. He’s a music major (wow how fucking original is that), and if anyone asks him to serenade someone or just do anything, he’ll do it for the right price. Or if you buy him alcohol because he still keeps getting ID checked. He’s banking on Kaeya actually becoming a lawyer or being on good terms with Diluc so he can finally stop being arrested for looking like a toddler.
Takes one step into classes and quickly nopes out and goes back to bed. Professors have no idea how he hasn't dropped out or failed. He just has some god given talent. He does whine at you to pretty pretty please with a cherry on top tutor him because you're such an angel and would never leave your poor but awesome best friend hanging right? He needs to get this essay down but how he is suppose to explain how the number 10 is symbolic and connects to the universe or the meaning of life. Do you think he can just say it’s apart of his culture and make up some random myth to pretend it looks like he knows what he’s doing? 
He’s honestly going with the flow and put his brain on the back burner all of highschool and only now realizes wait, I actually have to use my brain?
He’s been banned from most club chats since Venti has the no chill card. Someone says “lol I look ugly today.” and he’ll respond "yup, you look like a cow." and he get’s banned. Zhongli keeps a speed run timer on his phone just to document these occasions.
"Sad spelled backwards is das and das how it be sometimes."
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Childe
An actual dumbass that somehow does well. He eats sandwiches with the crust off, this heathen. Surprisingly he’s studying to become a physical therapist but most of his experience has come from breaking his own bones. You’re scared how he's going to be if he actually becomes a therapist. If he'll make bets with his patients or try to one up whatever crazy injury they get into. Everything is a challenge to him that sometimes the best way to deal with Childe is to knock him out. 
This man really knows the way to a Zhongli’s woman's heart. Through micro transactions. Mona saw him accidently drop $20 and just shrugged and walked off. She has never been both spiritually and physically offended in her life. She did take the $20 though. As much as you hate leeching on Chile when he’s basically a walking wallet that probably uses bills as tissue paper, you can’t help but give him puppy eyes while planning on how to get into his will. If he even plans on having one, he might honestly write “whoever wins in a gladiator style duel in my funeral’s tournament, they will get my fortune.”. 
Any sport the university offers Childe is probably in it. Which is how he met Zhongli, challenged him to a fight, proceeded to have his ass handed to him, got a backhanded compliment, and screamed to you he was in love and how he found his soulmate. He's secretly very sappy and has cried and watched every Disney and Pixar movie at least 28 times.
"IM NOT TOO SPICY! I’M A TINY BIT ABOVE MILD IF ANYTHING!”
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God if it isn’t Scaramouche, it’s Childe that ruins the aesthetic. This is why I hate you. Why do you people enable me like this, it isn’t even good. This is pretty much a @ yourself moment and I vibe hard with Venti. This entire post was just to make a joke about the clap of Kaeya’s ass cheeks alerting the guards.
This week might slow down since I have classes and assignments. My reply’s are gonna be late too, sorry;; (oh and thank you to everyone that was so supportive and nice when I mentioned it. All of you. Beautiful 💕💕 )
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warmau · 3 years
Text
☆ [nostalgic] summer romance!au doyoung late birthday post for mr. kim! i am never on time for these posts, apologies.  find others here: johnny | haechan | taeil | taeyong | mark | jaemin | yangyang | yuta | sicheng | chenle | kun | yukhei
a sinking feeling has you rooted to the floor. staring at the lock of your front door as someone knocks politely over and over again.
“what are you doing?”
your mother’s voice gusts past you like a breeze, she leans over your frozen figure and turns the knob.
you step back to avoid being hit by the door and dread the light that washes over your mothers face
“doyoung! come in!”
he steps through and all you catch is a bit of side profile, hidden behind the gigantic plant he’s holding
“oh! that’s the orchid your mother was just up in a fit about? come here sweetie, place it on the kitchen table -”
his footsteps echo and you shrink a little, he didn’t even look at me. 
you’re thankful for your mothers insolent obsession with being a good host and trudge your way back to your room
doyoung is in your house. 
which is weird, the first time he was in your house - you knew, obviously, but he was uninvited. your mother didn’t welcome him through the door.
now - for the past month - after both his mother and yours had come to a unbreakable bond over their indoor houseplants 
doyoung has very much been a presence, an invited presence, a presence everyone but you seemed to be delighted about
“he’s such a nice boy, he’s spending his summers tutoring younger kids and i see him biking all around town.”
your mother gushes almost every time at dinner after doyoung leaves - delivering whatever ailing plant his mother has sent to yours to fix and play botanist with
you pick at your food
yeah, he’s a nice boy. that’s what makes this all so much worse.
now - you’re laying on your sheets with your hand on your stomach and staring up at the wall thinking very much the same thought.
he’s so nice, and so perfect, and everything anyone ever dreams of. why am i such an idiot for not wanting that?
you drum your fingers and again spiral back into the memory that keeps itself wedged between you and him like a piece of food that’s stuck so sternly between teeth, no pushing at it with your tongue helps.
summer starts in ten days, officially you know - by the university calendar. you’re supposed to be focusing on a final paper for some elective politics class you took, but you’re not. you’re staring at the back of doyoung’s neck. he sits in front of you for most lectures.
“hey, do you know anything about this military-first politics and nuclear armament essay prompt the professor gave us?”
doyoung turns slowly, blinking at you from behind his thin-wired classes, “yeah - it’s been the topic of discussion and reading for like a week.”
you know you sound kind of stupid to even ask - but you will admit, politics isn’t your thing and it seems to really be doyoungs - so you smile, with a please pity me kind of look in your eye. doyoung sighs, but he gets up and slides into the seat beside you - opening up the half blank word document on your laptop.
that’s it. that’s all it was going to be. doyoung helping you skid by, so that your summer isn’t ruined by a shitty grade. 
but that’s not what happens. at all. 
doyoung instead spends a lot of time helping you write a good enough paper to pull through a B-. 
that means a lot of alone time in the library, in study hall, in the empty halls of the school buildings where classes have ended and no one is around.
it’s a lot of being shoulder to shoulder with him, realizing how nice he always smells - how long his fingers are when they type - how he doesn’t have a significant other because no one except his friends ever end up interrupting you.
it’s the day after you get your grades for the semester, something about getting the paper back sparks a fire in you
you scope doyoung out at the coffeeshop and exclaim that you and him did it!
a couple of heads whip around, did it?, you quickly add some mumbling about the paper.
doyoung laughs, it’s the first time you’ve heard the genuine sound, because most of the time he just makes a half-sided smirk or chuckle.
you buy him an iced latte as repayment and somehow end up walking out of there with side by side.
doyoung asks if you live near by if you don’t dorm, you say you do. he does too. that’s weird - you’ve never seen him around the neighborhood.
after that you pretend it’s a blur. because truth be told it isn’t.
you and doyoung are going to be taking the same train anyway, why not take it together. you and doyoung are going to know the same little places around town, why not talk about them.
why not? why not? why not? 
why not invite him inside when you’re back in your hometown, why not lead him up to your room just so he can see it and why not kiss him when he leans over you.
people your age do it all the time, they hookup. that’s the only answer to that stupid hanging ‘why not?’
so when you felt doyoung’s fingers graze down your side and he’d clumsily gotten his glasses off just in time for you to pull his shirt up over his head 
you were convinced it meant nothing. you were convinced he thought the same.
then it all happens and you can’t take it back. 
especially not the part where you’re laying on your bed, just like you are now, waiting for doyoung to start gathering his things and instead a hand loops around your sweaty waist.
“aren’t you going to leave?”
the words blurt out of your mouth before you even think about it. 
the tension that stalled in the room had been so horrible you swore you’d felt it seep into every pore, damn near trickling itself down the walls.
doyoung had darkened, pulled himself away from you, and disappeared before you could string together your next thought.
part of you had been relieved, the other part felt like the biggest asshole on the planet.
you were just grateful the rest of the summer could easily be passed by keeping away from each other - until your mother had found her new best friend.
downstairs you can hear doyoung shuffling around with your mothers plants, you can’t make out what they’re saying, but you’re sure your mother is inviting him to stay and eat with you. asking doyoung about his amazing future plans to become a lawyer. enthralled by everything he is as a child and that you, most likely, are not.
when he finally leaves and the commotions die down you can’t get up
this is the most confusing moment. 
not the whole ignoring each other when he pops over, not the whole reliving the past from just a glimpse. 
it’s why - when it happened, you had been so content with it just staying nothing - you had been the one to make that decision for the both of you
yet
why does it seem like you’re wallowing in it, clinging to it, imaging it all over
every time he comes over
because you didn’t just want a hook-up. you wanted doyoung and were playing it off because having a crush on him isn’t worth it right?
your mind coils itself through a storm
you thought he only wanted to sleep with you too, because the thought of someone as good as doyoung liking you just doesn’t make sense?
despite the summer heat, you feel cold
you’re not good enough to actually be liked, to be the person doyoung chooses for something more than just your-
your phone rings and you sit up so fast it gives you a headache, you feel around and bring it to your ear without checking the number
“hello?”
“our mothers are trying to set us up on a date.”
you want to be anywhere in the world, but here. 
doyoung’s blank expression doesn’t let you know if he feels the same, but the way he won’t get in at least eight feet of you is telling enough.
you’re in his backyard, well technically you’re in his neighbors backyard, because he doesn’t want to be visible behind the hedges
rather be caught dead than be next to me, right? 
you shrill at yourself and try to bury the wince you make internally
“i think you should just tell them you have another boyfriend.”
“i can’t lie to my mother.”
you start and doyoung watches you chew on your lower lip and retreat defensively a step back
“why not?”
“she’s noisy - she’ll find out. she’ll insist until i die to meet this ‘other boyfriend’. plus i’m not a good liar.”
“really? could have fooled me.”
doyoung straightens himself as he says that, eyes unblinking behind the frames of his glasses
i probably deserve that. well actually-
“doyoung, i never promised you anything when we-”
the words wilt and doyoung suddenly looks over his shoulder.
“you’re right, you never promised me anything. im the one who was a fool for ever thinking it was something.”
you look at the grass. 
you wonder, if you had not said that one sentence - aren’t you going to leave - would this summer be different?
would you and doyoung be spending every second together, holding each other at the beach? kissing under the fireworks? sharing ice-cream and diving into pools filled of water and your laughter?
the thought blooms something in your chest
i wish - i wish it was that.
“you say i should lie, but you’re pretty good at it too doyoung.”
“excuse me?”
“it’s not like you - it’s not like you really wanted it to be anything more than it was.”
you think the grass is going to burst into flames with how hard you’re concentrating on it.
“what, you’re telling me-” you swallow “you’re telling me you actually wanted to be with me after? our mothers are trying to get us to go on a date and you called me out here just to avoid that.”
he leans forward
“if you are trying to make me the only guilty party here-”
he’s closer and you feel your voice shake a little, but you try to push to the end of your thought.
“im not, you never made any effort to make it seem like you had any genuine emotion so am i so wrong for just assuming it was just se-”
his hands, large and gentle, manage to find your shoulders and doyoung presses his lips to yours 
you stiffen from the external shock, but then relax under the light grip
his breath smells sweet, like he’s been chewing bubblegum, he’s wearing the same cologne he does at university
“i don’t just sleep with people.” 
he whispers against your mouth
“nothing against it, but i don’t think there’s a point to sharing something intimate with someone who i don’t want in every possible way.”
when you and doyoung agree to go on a date - both your mothers lose it. they’re convinced you’re soulmates.
although you and doyoung both agree they’re thinking way too far ahead in the future - it doesn’t mask the fact that the attraction that ends up forming between you two is undeniable
doyoung is so determined and intently goal orientated that you would think there isn’t the capacity to have fun in one bone in his body, but that’s not true
when he’s comfortable, he’s charming and full of humor - he makes you double over with laughter more than you could have imagined
and you aren’t as spacey and shy as doyoung might have assumed either, you have a competitive streak and you make doyoung feel like this is the summer of his life
the summer of his life that someone could probably make a decent coming of age film out of
he brings it up after you two exit a movie that was just about the same topic and you look down at your hands intertwined and shake your head
“no they’d never cast the right people to play us.”
doyoung sees the reflection of the milky way in your eyes, but he doesn’t say it
“no one on this planet is like you.”
he returns this sentiment with a small kiss that bumps this glasses against the bridge of your nose.
you get nervous sometimes when you think about how the summer started, it’s not like you’re living in the middle ages where intimacy is a sin before eternal commitment or anything
no you just get nervous because the reason you ever even made that situation as bad as it was, was because of your insecurity
does doyoung actually like me? did two weeks of being together at school make him realize something about me is worth it?
you can’t ask him that - even though sometimes you want to, so you can explain why you hadn’t just rolled over and nuzzled yourself into the dip of his chest
much like you do now - you fit so perfectly right between his arms
instead it sometimes gnaws at you until doyoung is cleaning his glasses over your sink and you’re sitting in the bathtub looking at him
your parents are ironically over at doyoungs for some wine party or whatever and although your mothers are in awe about you two being “a cute lil couple” 
they see that - cute, part of it makes you snort. you and doyoung sometimes act more mature than they do.
“i always knew you were staring at me in lecture.” he starts and a little smirk pulls at his long lips
you flick some of the water at him and he leans against the counter
he doesn’t like baths, he prefers showers, but he still stays in the room with you when you take them 
“i wasn’t staring at you.”
“you were staring at the back of my neck.”
you look away because fair, not like he spends a lot of time looking away from the professor.
“so i knew you liked me, or something about me. that’s why it hurt.”
“when we-”
“yes and i like being logical, so not having a real answer for why that all happened like it did still haunts me.”
he tilts his head and you see the line of his thin collarbones through his shirt
“i thought you’d say it first.”
he blinks
“i thought you’d say something like, that was cool. ill see you at uni come fall. and then leave. so i mean, i didn’t even say go leave - i asked, aren’t you going to leave?”
doyoung is smart so he gets what you’re saying in the most roundabout way possible
he walks over and squats down, leans over the ridge of the bath to kiss you and doesn’t complain when you bring your soapy hands up to cradle his neck
“im sorry i did leave, i should have just said what i felt right there.” 
he mutters and you nod. you should have said it too.
when you and doyoung graduate and he goes on to law school and you start working, you almost break up - twice - because of the stress
but somehow neither of you can ever ask the other one
aren’t you going to leave?
because neither of you ever really wants to.
so you don’t, you stay through all the hardships, through every argument and bump in the road. 
you stay, you choose to stay and so does he and you might not even fall asleep next to each other on some days but the heat of the person you love is always there.
and then doyoung gets his first big promotion at his job, runs all the way home with the news and ends up breathing hard and talking nonsense to you in your shared kitchen
“you need a shower.”
you say, wiping the sweat from his forehead as he shakes his head, no. he needs a bath.
you lean back against his chest, stronger and broader as he’s aged. 
he looks down at you and even the eyebags that have gotten darker with all that work he does don’t do anything to make him less attractive
you peck his chin, because it’s what you can reach.
“if we sit here any longer we’re going to prune.”
“are you going to be the first one to leave?”
he asks and you shake your head. 
you’ll sit here forever if that’s what it takes.
on the counter of the bathroom, there’s one of the houseplants your mothers keeps shipping to you. 
you don’t notice that it’s the same orchid that doyoung carried into your house all those years ago, when you thought he hadn’t even looked at you when your mother opened the door.
he curls a strand of your wet hair around his finger.
he had looked at you, quickly, but he had done it. 
even half covered by orchid leaves, you’d made his mouth dry. 
“no seriously though - we will prune.”
“i’ll get up if you get up?”
i’ll never leave, the only way i’ll leave is if it means im taking you with me. 
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itsthestutterforme · 3 years
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Becoming Mine (Vincenzo)
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Summary: Y/N is working with Vincenzo and a loyal ally from Italy. Han seok captures her and tortures her for information. She holds out longer than he hoped and wants her loyalty for himself.//SMUT WARNING, MINORS DNI
--
Jang Hanseok sent Ms. Choi to get her hands dirty and oversee the torture of Y/N for information. Y/N and Vincenzo grew up in the Mafia together. They taught each other everything.
He has asked Y/N for help with taking down Babel and she said yes without any questions asked. And now she has to suffer the consequences of loyalty.
First they started with electrocution. They tied her to a metal chair and put spark plugs on the back side of the chair. They would send a jolt, each longer than the last. "Go to hell!" She yells at Ms. Choi after the jolt that lasted 20 seconds.
Then they moved on to cutting with the thinnest daggers. Death by a thousand cuts, she always thought it was a cliche thing to use. But hey, to each their own torture method.
Her hair sticks to her forehead and the sides of her neck as he digs his knife across her collar bone. "Fuck!"
Ms. Choi walks into Hanseok's office with a grimace. "What's wrong?" "She's not breaking. She's a lot stronger than I thought." Ms. Choi says, linking her hands behind her back. Hanseok stands from his chair and rounds the desk.
"What tactics have you used?" He asks. "Electrocution, cutting, waterboarding, fire and even bludgeoning and she still tells me to go to hell." Choi rambles.
"I could use someone of her loyalty," Hanseok states. "I want to meet her," he adds. "With all due respect, sir, she'll never agree to that. She's endure days of torture for Vincenzo, she isn't going to give him up or betray him. She's willing to risk her life for him." "Will you risk your life for me?" He asks, searching her face for a response.
"I'll kill anyone you tell me to, sir," "That didn't answer my question. I still want to see her." He says. Ms. Choi drives him to the warehouse where they keep Y/N. She was currently unconscious from the pain she has endured. Hanseok's face grimaced and he says, "You took get your hands dirty a little too literally."
Y/N gasped as she regain consciousness and she groaned softly. She looked up to see Jang Hanseok and he smiles. "Who the hell are you?" She asked before spitting out some blood in her mouth. "Hopefully, I'll be your new boss." He says, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "In your dreams, tough guy." She snarks.
A man punches her across the face and she looked at him with pure annihilation and vexation. That look gave Hanseok butterflies in his stomach. The feeling was beyond the norm and he had no idea what the origin was. She opened her mouth to say something else but Hanseok intercepted.
"Touch her again, and I'll have you thrown off a building." He threatens. Hanseok watched as the man stepped away from her. "You, cut her loose," He adds, pointing to another man.
"Sir, are you sure about this?" Choi asked and he didn't answer. She was cut free and the first thing Y/N grabs is the man's throat before breaking it.
Another man came at her and she ducked under the punch before punching him twice in his armpit before punching his throat. She limps over to the table where her weapons were and grabbed her smaller knives.
She tossed them in the air and within seconds, three men dropped dead with the knives in their skulls. Which only left Ms. Choi and Jang Hanseok.
She grabs a gun from one of the corpses and aimed it at them. "Tell me why I shouldn't kill you both," "Do that and my men sets that entire plaza on fire with everyone inside."
"I'm calling your bluff lady, you're just trying to save your ass because you know that I'll put bullet in your head without blinking," she says as she cocks the gun and applies steady pressure on trigger.
"Wa-" she pulls the trigger and sends a bullet straight through Ms. Choi's head. Hanseok chuckles wryly before saying, "Now I'm in need of a new lawyer and strategist," he says, his hands still stuffed in his pockets.
"Who are you?" "The CEO of Babel," he answers nonchalantly. "So you're the one who started all this,"
"Well I can't take all the credit. She had her fair share," he says, referencing to Ms. Choi. Red dots appear on Y/N chest and she notices. "I have this place surrounded. One move to shoot me and you'll get shot to pieces. Just take the easy way and work for me. It'll be a lot of fun." "Right, like killing innocent people is fun,"
"It seems like you enjoy killing people." "Only those who deserve it," she snaps. "Regardless of your intentions, my guys wills drop you before you can fire. Question is, do you want to live and be treated like a queen?"
She doesn't respond and he adds, "Or I can kill both you and your mother. She loves to visit a little shop in.. Siena, right? What's it's called again?"
Her grip tightens on the gun before tossing it across the room. "Kill her and I promise to kill you and every single one of your sponsors," "Looks like you and I have more in common than we thought. Come on, let's get you cleaned up." He walks out of the warehouse and she hesitantly follows.
Y/N's POV
You sigh softly as you stepping into the cold, crisp in contrast of the warm, misty air in bathroom. You had pulled your hair into a loose ponytail before you put on Hanseok's shorts and t-shirt. You hate to say it, but his clothes were extremely comfortable. He promised to take me out shopping tomorrow for clothes.
"I didn't know what you liked so I bought everything," he says, referencing to the various plates of food on the kitchen counter. Your eyes settle on kimchi jiagae and you make your way over to the table.
You a grab a few bowls to try some of the kimchi jiagae, bulgogi, dakdoritgang, dakgangjeong and mixed rice. You set them on the tray sit on the pillow he prepared for you.
"You like spicy food, huh?" He says and you nod. "Yeah, my brother likes spicy food too." You wait until he comes back with his tray of food to dig in. You hum lowly as you eat your bulgogi and you feel a hand touch my chin. You pull away and look at him with confused.
"What the hell are you doing?" "I'm sorry, I just.. you look.. you're beautiful," "If you think that you can someone convince me into sleeping with you, you have another thing coming,"
"What? I can't appreciate your beauty without something in return?" He asks innocently. "Hell no," you sneer. He chuckles before saying, "I'm going to have some fun with you."
Over the next few weeks, he has bought you a whole new wardrobe, shoes and jewelry. He's even made sure my hair and nails are done with complementary spa days.
He's been pampering you ever since you were a part of his life. You've been enjoying it but you've developed a sense of waiting for the other shoe to drop.
It also raises questions. Why did he choose you? How long will this pampering thing last? Is your mom still held hostage? What is he planning on doing with Vincenzo?
"Hey, kitten." You roll your eyes at his new pet name for you. You have no idea where he got it from because you are nothing like a kitten. You were playful or adventurous, but you were high maintenance.
"How many times do I have to tell.." you trail off as you see him in a light blue three piece suit with white leather shoes. His hair was combed to the side with gel and you could smell his cologne from where you sat.
"Why are you dressed like that?" "Do you like it?" He say, nearing you slowly. "No," you lie and he smiles at you. "You sure about that?" He leans his hands on either side of you and ducked his head to be at your eye level. "I bought you a matching dress. Get dressed, we leave in an hour."
He nudges his nose against yours before leaving the room and leaving you hot and bothered. Ever since you walked in on him lifting weights without his shirt, your mind came up with various, filthy scenarios that made your panties soaked.
You stand up from the chair and walked into the bedroom to see a goregous silk, light blue dress with diamond seam around the midrange of the stomach.
You take a shower and apply your favorite lotion and perfume before you slide on the dress. You latch on the sparkly, light blue heels. You put on your robe and sit down to apply some foundation, highlight and mascara on to your face.
You were just about to clip your hair up and leave a few curls out but you hear Hanseok say, "Leave your hair down." You look at him through the mirror to see him leaning his arm on the door frame, pulling his dress shirt taught around his solid biceps. He eyes you with a soft smile on his face. "You look beautiful," he says as he nears you once again.
"I know." You stand up and meet him half way across the room. "Shall we?" He says , offering you his arm. "Let's just get this night over with,"
**
You two return at one in the morning and you were infuriated. He spent the whole night flirting with random women at the gala. "You make no sense to me, Jang Hanseok." You say, taking off your earring and tossing them on the dresser.
"What makes you say that?" He asks, sitting on the bed to take off his shoes. "You pamper me with all these gifts, clothes, jewelry to convince me to stay in your life and then you spend the entire night flirting with every one you could lay your eyes on." You snap.
He takes off his vest with a sigh and loosens his tie. "I wanted to see if you cared. Cared about me and my attention." "Well, do you?" He adds. "If I didn't care, do you think I would have said anything?" You snap.
He grabs the back of your neck and pulls you inches away from his face. He tightens his grip and says through gritted teeth, "I've had enough of your attitude, just answer the question."
"I just did." His fingers dig into you neck enough to cause discomfort but not enough to break skin. "Do you care about me?" He asks. "Unfortunately, yes." "Why unfortunately?" "It only makes it harder to-" "
"To betray me?" You push his hand away and say, "What the hell makes you think of something like that? I was going to say it makes it harder to say no but you always think everyone is out to get you. It should be me asking the qu-"
He stops your rant by slamming his lips on yours. One hand rests on the back of your head and the other smooths over the dip of your back.
Your fingers work on unbuttoning his shirt as you walk him onto the bed. He sits on the edge and pulls you into his lap. You pull his shirt off his shoulder and leave kisses up his chest in it's wake.
He moans softly and you could feel his hard on press against your inner thigh. You tug the rest of his shirt off and push his back on the bed. You buck your hips against him and a soft whine leaves his lips.
You quiet him by tenderly biting down on his bottom lip. His lips latched onto yours and presses your core harder against him.
He pulls your hair gently to evade your attention from his lips. He rolls you on you stomach and stands. "Han seok, what are you-" he rips the dress open from the back, making you yell out in surprise.
"Damn it, I liked that dress." "There's plenty more where that came from kitten," he smooths his hands up the back of your legs and squeezes your ass.
You pull off the rest of your mangled dress, leaving you in your white lace set. "And don't you dare rip-" he rips the lace underwear in two and pulls you so your knees are on the edge of the bed. "I'm going to kill you, Han seok."
"I've been wanting to get a taste of you since I set my eyes on you." You let out a squeak when you feel his hot breath agaisnt your core.
You've never been in the position before so you have no idea what the expect. He licks up the stripe with slow, deep licks, each lick lasting longer on your clit. "Oh God," you grip the sheets with a white knuckle grip when he curls his tongue along the upper wall and caresses a g-spot. Your legs started to shake and loud moans leave your lips when he slips in two fingers and curled them hard.
You tried crawling away from him, feeling overwhelmed of the pleasure but he holds you back by your thighs. With a few more licks, you release yourself on his tongue and he hums with satisfaction.
"You taste a lot better than I thought, baby." Your body already started to twitch and you could tell that this was going to be a long night.
You roll onto your back and chills roll down your spine when you see him licking your juices off of his fingers. Pushing yourself backwards, he pulls you closer to him by your ankles. "Han seok, please. It's too much."
"You're doing great, kitten. Just relax and let it wash over you." He says softly, pecking your lips before settling himself between your legs once again.
He spreads your legs wide before he sucks on your clit harder and faster than the first time, sending shock waves through your body. "Fuck! Oh my God!"
Looking down at him, he locks eyes with you and he completely devours your bundle of folds. He alternate between licking side to side and up and down with a curl of his tongue.
Your back arches and stars cloud your vision as you come down from your second high. He pulls away from you with his lower face covered in your juices. "Come here," he lifts your trembling body and dropping it into his lap. He smooths his hands over your ass before unbuckling his dress pants.
He pulls down his boxers and his erection stands up tall, making your whimper. He's going to destroy you. "I'll be gentle," he whispers, lifting your chin to meet his gaze.
You nod your head in agreement and lines himself up at your entrance. Throwing your head back as your walls expand and contract around him. You wrap your arms around him and bury your face into his neck and he bounces you in his lap.
Time slows a few seconds when you meet his gaze. "Oh God," you chant as the knot intensified in your stomach. "I'm close, Han seok."
His lips locked with yours and your boys jolts forward when his thumb rubs hard circles on your clit. Your entire body spasms as he cums inside of you but he continued to rub circles until you came.
He stayed buried inside of you while you sat in his lap as you both catches your breaths. Resting his forehead against yours, he says, "I love you. You believe me what I say that, right?"
You nod and holds the sides of your face. "Say it," "I love you," "Good girl," he pulls out of you and slides you both under the covers.
You lay directly ontop of him with a thin sheet covering the both of you, sighing as he draws circles on your back.
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supernaturalgirl20 · 3 years
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This Love (part two)
Pairings: Frankie Morales x reader
Warnings: Smut 18+, p in v smut, cursing, fluff, fighting.
Summary: Months after admitting your feelings for each other, your relationship with Frankie is stronger than ever. Helena makes a decision that could tear it all down. All good things must come to an end. Right?!
*comments and reblogs appreciated*
You grab the sheet tightly in your hand, a moan escaping your swollen lips.
“Oh god….baby don’t stop…just like that.”
You move your hand to grab at his hair, tugging it harder as you near your release. Almost. Almost. Suddenly his mouth is off you and you sigh in frustration.
“Frankie, baby, I was almost there. Why did you stop. You can’t just wake me up like that and then leave me all wound up.”
He laughs, kissing his way up your thigh, over your stomach and finally meeting your lips in a searing kiss. He grabs his thick cock and strokes himself twice before lining up at your core. In one swift motion he is buried to the hilt inside you, filling you completely. You let out a loud moan.
“Shhhh baby, you gotta be quiet, don’t want to wake Sophia.”
It’s slow, almost lazy and you can feel every ridge, every vein on his thick member. God you love sleepy morning sex with Frankie.
“Didn’t……thrust….let….thrust….you come….before….wanted…ugh….come on…fuck…my cock.”
“Oh god Frankie….harder…please…..too slow.”
With that Frankie began pounding into you over and over. Hitting that sweet spot inside you every time. Your whole body was in ecstasy as you came loudly soaking his cock. With one final grunt Frankie spilled himself into you. He slowly pulled out and went to the en-suite to get a cloth and cleaned you up. Getting back into bed he lays down and pulls you into him.
“God I fucking love you baby.”
“I love you to.” You snuggle into his side.
“So what are the plans today?” He says as he runs his fingers up and down your spine.
“Well Santi is having that barbecue tonight, show off his new girl.”
“Damn forgot about that. Do we have to go?” He says snuggling closer
“Yes, or Santi will come over rip you a new one.”
There is a knock at your door before Sophia comes barrelling in. Jumping on the bed, she leaps on top of Frankie.
“Oof, bebita you gotta go easy, daddy is getting old now” he says tickling her. Once he releases her she crawls over to you.
“Morning baby, have a good sleep?”
“Yeah, am I staying with my abuala today?”
“Yeah baby and your going to stay for a sleepover, is that ok?”
“Yeaah” she hops down and rushes out of the room.
You turn to look at Frankie to find he already has his eyes on you, a look of adoration on his face.
“What?”
“Your just….so good with her, you’ve always been an amazing mother to her, it gets me thinking.”
“Oh no, don’t hurt yourself”, you say laughing.
“Oh you’ve done it now,” he says moving on top of you tickling you.
“Stop…..Frankie please….I can’t take it.” He stops and just stares down at you.
“Let’s have a baby!” Your shocked, having not expected this conversation today.
“Before you say anything, I’ve wanted this with you since that night at the bar. Your amazing with Sophia and she isn’t even yours, you would be an amazing mom. Imagine a mini me or you and Sophia would be the best if sister.” He was rambling now and you decided to put a stop to this, so you kissed him.
“Frankie…”
“It’s ok…we can talk about it again further down the line..” He goes to move off of you but you pull him back. You place your hands either side of his head, looking him deep in the eyes “is this what you really want?”
“Yes, I want it all with you baby.”
“Ok.”
“Ok? As in we’re going to have a baby ok?
“Yes Frankie we can try for a baby.” He plants kisses all over your face, “I love you, your going to be a hot mama, all swollen with my baby inside you.”
“Ok slow down there cowboy, our eldest is awake now and could walk in any minute.”
“Tonight,” he says wiggling his eyebrows at you. He’s dressed and out the door to Sophia before you know it. Lying back on the bed you run your hand down to your stomach, imagining what it will be like carrying Frankie’s baby. You can’t help the smile that spreads over your face.
****
Arriving at Santi’s that evening, Frankie is beaming, his arm wrapped around your waist.
“Hermano, glad you could make it, and Y/N, looking stunning as always.” He goes to kiss your cheek but Frankie stops him, “eh no funny stuff, hijo de puta.” They both laugh and hug each other.
“So where is this girl Pope? Or is she all in your head.”
“Nah, she’ll be here soon you’ll see.”
Walking towards the backyard, you spot the Miller brothers arguing over the bbq.
“You got to put it on like this..”
“Hey I know how to cook, back off benny.” Laughing at their antics you walk towards your sister.
“Hey, someone seems extra cheerful tonight”, she says nodding towards Frankie.
“Is he, I hadn’t noticed.” Smiling into your beer.
“You gave him a blowjob on the way over here?”
“He wishes, no we had a chat this morning about the future.”
“Omg…aah, he proposed, I knew it, wait until I tell Will.”
“What that’s not what…”
“Benny owes me 100 .”
“Wait what? You guys bet on this?”
“Ugh…yeah. Come on it’s you and Frankie, I bet he had the ring picked out years ago.”
“Oook, well as much as I would love to be engaged to Frankie, that’s not it.”
“Oh! Well what has him smiling like the cat that got the cream.”
“We’re going to try for a baby.”
“Aaahhhh, I’m going to be an auntie.”
“Keep it down, I’m not pregnant yet.”
Frankie makes his way over to you both, sits down beside you and pulls you into him.
“Hey Jen, how was Mexico?”
“Oh it was amazing, and the food, ugh, I’ve book it again for next year.”
****
Pope’s girl as it turned out, was Yovanna from that job in Colombia. It was a little tense at first but the guys warmed up. As the night was drawing to a close there was a knock at the door. Pope went to answer it and when he came back Frankie went stiff beside you. You turn to him and his face, it was like he saw a ghost. You follow his gaze to see Helena standing in the door to the patio.
“Helena what are you doing here?”
“Not that’s it’s any of your business, but I’m here to see Francisco.” If looks could kill she would be dead from the looks Jen was given her. You move your hand to Frankie thigh and give him a reassuring squeeze. He looks to you and his face softens.
“I gotta go talk to her baby, I owe her that much.”
“You owe her nothing Frankie.”
“Maybe not but I owe it to Sophia, she is still her mother.” Frankie stands and makes his way towards her.
Pope comes to sit beside you, “hermosa are you ok?”
“What if she wants him back Santi? I can’t lose him or Sophia, it would break me.”
“Hey, now you know Fish is smitten with you, your the love of his life, she may be Sophia’s biological mother but your her mom.” You curl into him trying not to cry.
Suddenly raised voices can be heard from inside. Pope turns to you, “hermosa I think you should go in there.”
You leave the group and make your way to Frankie and the closer you get you can make out what’s being said.
“Oh so your going to let that whore raise my daughter, I don’t think so.”
“No. You do not call her that, Y/N is not a whore, that women is my everything and she’s more a mother to Sophia than you will ever be. You abandoned us, don’t forget that, because I never will. If you want to start seeing Sophia, we can discuss it with a lawyer but don’t think for one second that there will ever be anything between you and me, because there won’t. I’ve moved on, I’m happy, I am going to marry Y/N and we are going to build a home together.”
“Oh come on, Francisco…..baby, your telling me you don’t want a piece of this anymore, you don’t want to fuck me again.” Having heard enough you open the door and Frankie pushes Helena off of him. He comes to stand beside you, wrapping his arm around your waist. “Get out Helena, your embarrassing yourself.”
“Fuck you Francisco, this isn’t over.” With that she storm out, slamming he door behind her.
“Baby are you ok?” Frankie turns to you and pulls you into a kiss.
“Yeah baby, I’m fine, I love you.”
“I love you too. She can’t take Sophia away, what are we going to do?”
“Hey , look at me baby, I’m not going to let that happen ok. It’s me, you and Sophia against the world, always.”
“And maybe one more?” You stare at him lovingly and move his hand down towards your stomach.
“Well then we better get working on that then,” he says peppering kisses all over your face.
“Actually..” He pulls back and looks at you expectantly
“Are you…are we…”
“Yeah, we’re about to become a family of four”. Frankie lifts you up and spins you around. “You have just made this old man very happy. I love you, both of you, he says placing his hand back on your stomach.
“Wait until we tell Sophia .”
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