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#if everyone believes in me i should too!! its only my divine right to be well off
sakumz · 29 days
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a/n : this man. knows how to drive one crazy hj ------------------------------------------------------
[ m. orter x fem reader ]
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" mind if I take that seat? " a voice you know all too well says beside you, you look up from stirring your drink to see orter.
" sure, " you said and a veil of awkward silence pours. orter took this as an opportunity to order a drink and another bottle for both of you. thanking him as he pushes up his spectacles.
" you approve of that mash kid? " orter takes a sip of his drink as he awaits your answer.
" he did play my game... as a divine visionary I guess its only fair I keep my end of the bet ? I suppose you can say I've given my full support in that non magic guy. " you cheekily smile.
" I can't believe you made him play hide and seek. were you even trying to make it hard? no less the toy plush you're using is the size of a child. " he points to your bear companion, sitting by your side.
" it had murderous intentions... nearly killed that freckle kid. " you can't help but try not to laugh at the memory, even making your bear turn to face orter.
he wasn't faze, only rubbing his head. ryoh, rayne and kaldo already approve of the boy. with you, that's almost half of the divine visionary approving the boy. maybe he should assassinate him in secret? would that make you cry? you do have a soft spot for people younger than you. sometimes putting shows and playing with random children on the streets whenever he and you are on patrol duty.
" I still can't believe you. " he extends his hand with his wand, pushing your bear away. it fell to the ground and disappeared. your magic probably made it disappear when it touched the ground.
you lean in close, close to kissing orter but you can't help but giggle. he's such a child. was he mad at your approval to mash?
instead of a kiss, you were met with a headbutt.
" what the heck? " you rub both your hands at the wound.
" you're a betrayer. why would I kiss a betrayer of my heart? " he says it so calmly, it did tick you off.
" oh come on, he won... not really fair since the first round, my bear was the hider and he nearly got beaten to a pulp the moment he was found by the red hair and mushroom hair. there wasn't any rules so my bear was allowed to shrink... " you mumbled the last part as orter can't help but remember the first time you made him and the rest of the visionary play your hide and seek game.
everyone was easily found but the second it was your turn to hide your bear. you shrunk it to the size of a coin, hiding it in kaldo's honey. they only found it when kaldo nearly choke at the feeling of something. thank goodness the bear was just illusion like, it disappeared the moment kaldo starts coughing. you summon it in your palm as you present to the rest, the size of the bear and how they've won since no one surrendered. everyone nearly killed you that day.
" what's so funny? " you pout at the sandman when he starts laughing at the memory. he's getting tipsy from the drinks too.
" nothing. I love you so much, betrayer of my heart. " he leans to plant a kiss on your head.
" don't call me that, if you said to kill him. I would've done it. " you kick his leg as he sighs.
" you won't. you won't do things without reasons. you fail to follow rules too, " he flicks your forehead.
he was right, having met him when he was newly announced as a visionary. he knew you quite well. too well sometimes. it's only fair since he's your lover. you sigh before grabbing his cup and putting it away from him.
" well, no matter what, I'd still listen to you. just maybe I do wish this mash kid make a change. the magicless and magic living together doesn't sound all too bad. we're all humans, after all. the status quo doesn't matter to me when life is involved. I've seen my share of bloodshed. change isn't all too bad either, orter. " he can't help but flush a little at your reprimand.
in his head, you were right and wrong. he loves you dearly and would support you. the status quo is something he cherishes to an extent. he feels a kiss to his cheek as he meets your eyes after, one so full of love.
" let's go home, this talk won't change my mind and I won't force it upon you to approve of mash. just don't make things hard for the poor guy, " your words obviously went in and out the other ear. orter was set on ending mash. even the words of his dearest may not be important at the moment.
" you're such a child, " he stirs to which you narrow your eyes at him, one close to a glare.
" says the big baby, I can literally beat you in a fight if I take down your weakness first. " you raise a fist.
" oh yeah, what's the weakness? " he had his hand prompting his face, tilting it to the side as he smiles uncharacteristically.
" your glasses. once it's out of the way, you're done for. " you smile back as your fisted hand made impact to his face, not physically and painfully punching him. just a light tap.
" I thought you'd say you're my weakness. " he was really getting drunk as he giggles to himself.
" what, you're my weakness. " you playfully pout as orter grabs you to give you a hug.
" go home, idiots. " the bartender sighs at your antics. giving him a soft chuckle as you feel orter's weight on you.
he had fallen asleep. you summon one of your plush toys to help pay the bill from your wallet and then a few more to help you carry the man. how you hope he'd forgotten half of what happened tonight and the fact you paid instead of him. he'll definitely make a fuss if he knew, but what's the point of being rich as a divine visionary if you can't spend. he loves you to death just like you love him too. complicated relationship but there's so much love in it. orter enjoys your company and he's forever thankful for your existence.
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megantrancyfanfics · 1 year
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Better than me? Kyojuro Rengoku x female reader smut
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Warning: public sex, jealous sex, overstimulation, fingering, teasing, pet names, creampie.
Tags: @animupiglett
Notes: once again, Rengoku is rotting my brain so you’re getting more content I’m sorry this rut might be over soon but who knows
Enjoy ❤️‍🔥
~~~~~~~~~~
When Mitsuri suggested for all the hashira’s to go to a mixed bathhouse together, everyone was joyous about it. After all, it would be a relaxation trip; meaning no crows were to interfere unless it’s absolutely an emergency.
The thing that feared you, was it being mixed. You and the flame hashira have been flirting back and forth for a while, with no understanding of what he wants. Is it all just fun to him? Or is the flirting meaningful?
~~~~
“Aww c’mon now y/n don’t be so shy!” Mitsuri exclaimed taking out her final braid.
“How are you so confident Mitsuri..?”
“It’s simple, I just don’t care what others think about my body, because at the end of the day it’s my body. I’m not here to please anyone but myself. Plus if anyone does dare to say something mean to me Obanai will kill them” she says with a giggle.
“Just flirt if it feels right.” Mitsuri continued with another giggle before grabbing your wrist and dragging you out of the changing room before you had the chance to grab a towel to cover yourself.
Rengoku, Giyuu, obanai, shinobu, And Tengen we’re already in the bath. The loud slaps of both yours and Mitsuri’s bare feet alerted the ones already in.
“This is gonna be so fun!” She giggles letting go of your wrist and jumping into the spring before going over to Obanai, Giyuu and shinobu.
You felt 2 pairs of eyes on you: both Rengoku and Tengen were staring at you like a predator laying eyes on its prey.
“My my y/n! Who knew you were hiding that Divine body under that baggy uniform!” Tengen said as you walked into the water, his eyes roaming your body.
‘Just flirt when the time feels right’ Mitsuri’s voice rang through your mind as you took a seat beside tengen.
“Oh? Divine enough to become a fourth wife?” You ask flirtily, making Tengen chuckle.
“Maybe, suma as been wanting an addition to the family.” He says with a wink. “If it does happen, I’ll make sure to treat you good.” He says huskily.
You playfully fanned your face and let out a quick “oh my~” before looking at Rengoku. His gaze and expression dark, only for it to snap back into its usual happy go lucky expression.
Rengoku let’s out a laugh. “My my! Tengen I do believe you’re allowing a problem to grow under the water!”
Both you and Tengen blank stared at the flame hashira, you being the first to catch on. Your body jolted as your face turned red. “Oh goodness! I did not mean for that to happen!” You exclaim moving over to sit beside Rengoku.
Tengen’s cheeks turned a shade of pink as he slid farther into the water. “ ‘s fine..I didn’t mean for that to happen either..I hope it doesn’t effect us.” You quickly shook your head no, before the three of you moved off of the subject at hand to talk about random missions and demons. Before long 2 hours had passed, merely all of the hashira had left to reside back in the hotel besides the 3 of you.
“Well, it’s been so flashy to talk to the two of you, but this hot water has me over cooked!” Tengen says with a laugh standing up, making you advert your gaze elsewhere.
“You two better not spend too much longer in here or else you’ll pass out.”
“Right! But it’s also good training to endure the heat!” Rengoku exclaims as Tengen leaves the spring to grab a towel. A quick “yeah yeah” leaving his mouth as he went to the changing rooms.
“So, you didn’t want to take a peek at tengen’s dick when he stood up?” Rengoku asked quietly and darkly, making you look at him.
“What?”
“I mean come on you flirted with my best friend in front of me! I’m rather shocked you didn’t wanna sneak a peek. Didn’t he say he’d treat you good? You should have snuck a peek at what he was talking about.”
“Now where is this coming from? Don’t tell me the flame hashira is jealous of a silly little flirt!” You coo playfully making Rengoku huff.
“Is it just a mere silly flirt when you’re flirting with me?” He gets close to your face, your lips inches from touching as he lowers his voice. “Because it certainly isn’t when I’m flirting with you, my dear y/n.” He says so quietly if he wasn’t as close as he was you wouldn’t hear it. He captures your lips with his, the kiss slow, sensual, you were able to feel the love Rengoku was wanting you to feel from that kiss.
When you pulled away, you locked eyes with him. “It’s not silly flirting when I flirt with you, Rengoku. I have deep feelings for you.” That’s all Rengoku needed to hear. Before you knew it, you were pulled onto Rengoku’s lap, your legs resting against the sides of his thighs as he slid his hand down to your pussy. Two fingers instantly started to rub your clit.
“Mm. That’s what I’ve been wanting to hear.” He coos before kissing down your neck until his lips latch onto your nipple, his fingers quickly turning you on, so much so you couldn’t help but to roll your hips to gain more friction. When your release started to build up, Rengoku stopped toying with your nipples and leaving little love marks around your chest, and slowed down his pace.
When you were about to protest, a gasp left your mouth when 2 of his long fingers entered your cunt.
“Aww if you’re already looking this fucked out and satisfied maybe I don’t need to make you mine in another way than just asking you out.” He says darkly, slowly pumping his fingers in and out of your cunt, before finding your g-spot when you arched you back and let out a whine. Rengoku quickly slapped his hand over your mouth before quickening his pace, abusing your g-spot. He felt your legs starting to shake and your pussy tighten.
“Now we can’t be getting caught unless you don’t want to feel that sweet release I know you’re so desperately close to receiving. Be a good girl and be super quiet for me. Once we get back home I’ll have you screaming for me ok?” With that, you were sent overboard, your orgasm washed over you, legs shaking even after you were coming off your high. You were embarrassed though, as Rengoku pulled out his fingers, and removed his hand from your mouth to place them on your hips, you were still horny and craving something to be inside of you. You moved closer to rengoku’s cock, once on top you couldn’t help but to roll your hips, letting out a satisfied “mm” when having something rubbing against your clit.
“My, someone’s eager.” He coos, surprising you when he rolls his hips. “Even though you just finished you want more?”
“Yes please I want it so bad, I’ve been wanting this for so long, I’ve been craving you. I want you Rengoku.”
A small smirk was on his lips as you felt his cock slip into your cunt. A soft moan escaped while biting your bottom lip. His movements started off slow, experimenting with each thrust before tightening his grip on your hips, eyes locked with yours.
“Remember to keep quiet.” He says before ramming into you so hard you start to see stars. Your hands rest on his shoulders, nails digging into them.
Dirty praises were murmured into your ears, but to be quite honest you couldn’t make it out all of your attention was drawn to your limit that quickly approached.
“Oh my stars, you’re tightening down on me so much.” He groaned out. “Do you think Tengen would be able to treat you better than me? Better than how I’m making you feel right now?” He asks, his hot breath tickling your neck before closing his mouth around your sweet spot to abuse it.
“N-no way..you’re making me feel so good kyo. I wouldn’t want anyone to even try to make me feel like this.” You moaned out, earning a satisfied mm from the man.
The man pulled away from your neck, his head falling backwards as his thrusts became sloppy. “Y/n you feel so good.”
“I’m so close” you whined, making Rengoku lock eyes with you. “Me too.”
“I want you to cum inside me Rengoku.”
“A-are you sure?” He stuttered out, you could tell he was fighting back his orgasm. With a nod of your head, both of you reached your peak.
Rengoku helped both of you ride out your highs before helping you off his cock and out of the hot spring.
“My Rengoku, I didn’t see you as someone who would be down to do such a naughty thing in a public place.” You say with a wink before capturing his lips with yours before pulling away.
Rengoku chuckled. “This place is meant for relaxing after all, dear y/n. Now go clean up. I wouldn’t want you making a mess and leaving evidence of what we did. I’ll wait for you so we can walk to our rooms together.”
End
Sorry for disappearing and coming back with such a crappy fanfic I promise I’ll be writing a better one soon! I hope y’all are doing well
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oriandcate · 2 years
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The List of Raw Quotes immortalized by the Internet:
“People who value any aspect of creation would do well not to pit gods against one another.”
“Hell is empty, and all the devils are here.” 
“I will face God and walk backwards into Hell.”
“Then perish.”
“I have been through Hell and come out singing.”
“Do I look like the kind of man who dies?”
“Do you think God stays in Heaven because He too lives in fear of what He created?”
“To become god is the loneliest achievement of all.”
“You kneel before my throne unaware that it was built on lies.”
“This is Hell’s territory and I am beholden to no gods.”
“Impudent of you to assume that I will meet a mortal end.”
“Bury me shallow, I’ll be back.”
“Take this gift, for the gods surely won’t.”
“One day, you will be face to face with whatever saw fit to let you exist in the universe, and you will have to justify the space you’ve filled.”
“Will you fight? Or will you perish like a dog?”
“Deviation from the norm will be punished unless it is exploitable.”
“You cannot kill me in a way that matters.”
“Pick a god and pray.”
“We deserve a soft epilogue, my love.”
“We are the timeline that God has abandoned.”
“Pick a Hell and rot there.”
“Every day we stray further from God’s light.”
“I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me.”
“I’d sell you to Satan for one corn chip.”
“The risk I took was calculated, but man am I bad at math.”
“If the world chooses to become my enemy, I will fight as I always have.”
“I am a monument to all your sins.”
“It’s not about whether you win or lose. Sometimes it’s about how many pages you add to the rulebook.”
“You’re rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic, my friend.”
“The man who sleeps with a machete is a fool every night but one.”
“I don’t believe in divine retribution, but then life throws people like you at me.”
“God wanted me dead, now you get to find out why.”
“The fruits of the earth do not exist to be worth something to us.”
“I’ve got a date with destiny, and it ain’t gonna end with a kiss.”
“Hostage or not, sometimes it’s nice being held.”
“To sit still is to submit to a god who cannot stand to see such power in potentia mere inches from realizing itself and overcoming him.”
“That sounds like a you problem.”
“…but sadly I am only a little bug and you are a garden.”
“In a society where all adventure has been destroyed, the only adventure left is to destroy that society.”
“How many times have people used a pen or paintbrush because they couldn’t pull the trigger?”
“So hope like hell your captor is an evil man. A good man will kill you with hardly a word.”
“…For they are a scoundrel and a foul beast of fields untouched by green.”
“Do you not think that Satan, too, has some affection for the inhabitants of Hell?”
“Does poetry flourishing even in the cracks and grime of the world devalue its beauty? Is the divine rendered plain when it becomes commonplace? Would you have the sublime subjected to the gatekeeping of a self-serving elite? Better it should be used and misused as us absurd commoners see fit.”
“Lock your doors and windows. God will forgive your absence.”
“I stand here, a fool of my own making.”
“Canon is but the sandbox in which I strike lightning to form glass. Trouble me no more with your quibbling and quorums, lest I grind you to dust beneath my heel and build stories from the remnants of your bones. Avast, foul fiend.”
“In the end, everyone is aware of this: nobody keeps any of what he has, and life is only a borrowing of bones.”
“’It’s not that deep.’ Maybe not originally, but the ground is soft and I’m ready to dig.”
“Ask the moon. Ask what it has witnessed.”
“Some things don’t belong on this plane of existence and the universe conspires to correct that.”
“Weird is a prerequisite to all things good and entertaining.”
“The sunrise has never caught me sleeping.”
“People are trying to be right no matter how wrong they are, I am here, accepting my primal desires.”
“Swear all you want, but the gods have shut their ears.”
“Tis the nature, curse, and cure of humanity to be forever attracted to the abyss.”
“If you hit a mole over the head for long and hard enough, eventually it learns to mind its own beeswax. Keep whacking.”
“If we built a tower of Babel, in this day and age, no one would stop us. We would build, and build, and one day inevitably breach the gates of heaven. And we would send in a probe, and then an exploratory team, clad in hazmat suits and protective gear, to enter the gates, and lo! before them would be a great, winding mass, a crumbling chitinous mountain range, a swooping winding wormous cavern, pale and sickly and turned to dust. And we will understand why no one stopped us: it will be the exoskeleton of God.”
“I must make time fear me most.”
“My third eye is open but damn it needs a monocle.”
“Some sins follow us, trotting along and planting themselves in dark corners, high shelves, gathering dust like a forgotten potted ficus, forever a part of the inner scenery of our minds. They thrive there. In the dark. Knowing we will someday stumble in. This is why ‘tis unwise to explore the inner chambers of our souls.”
“Ideals are made of gold and light, but human lives are made of blood and tears, and spill with slippery ease; choose carefully what hills to build and die upon.”
“I shall dig my very own shallow grave. Onward.”
“Confidence! A fool’s substitute for intelligence!”
“Weird hill to die on, but at least you’re dead.”
“Our paths may have crossed briefly, but you’ve still had the misfortune of knowing me.”
“What’s a little blood and bone? We all come down to it, in the end.”
“I could set the world on fire and call it rain.”
“War allows us to dress our monsters up as saviors, and many would say I’m one of those monsters.”
“You haven’t learned anything until you learn monsters have nightmares too.”
“To live is to haunt.”
“Can’t shake the devil’s hand and say you’re only kidding.”
“In the future, you will stand at the grave of God which I dug, weeping, and I will be the only creature you will be able to answer to. You will beg for death, but due to what you said today, I will deprive you of that luxury.”
“I wanted rain and I thought the best way to do that was to make God cry.”
“Love is dead and never existed. All you did was betray me as I lay sick and festering. You are the definition of dread.”
“Here’s the thing about a haunted forest: it’s not going to haunt itself.”
“Your skull is the garden where fact flowers into meaning.”
“I shall use your voice for violin string and serenade your widow.”
“If God had wanted you to live he would not have created me.”
“I’ve heard it said that we only gain wisdom through suffering, and tonight I intend to make you very wise.”
“If I cannot bend heaven, then I will raise hell.”
“Remember that if you go knocking on enough doors asking to see the Devil, eventually he may answer.”
"No one of honor is interred here. The dead are raw materials, and nothing more."
"That there is a feller what sat down on a snake in the grass one day, and it ain't crawled outta his asshole yet."
"Pay a man enough and he'll walk barefoot into Hell."
"All these moments will be lost in time; like tears, in the rain."
"To feel sorrow is to deserve peace."
"No one will know the violence it took to become this gentle."
"There is no light at the end of this tunnel; so it's a good thing we brought matches."
"The answer to despair is action."
"You'll be reduced down to a single atom when I'm done with you."
"What's at the end of a million? Zero, zero, zero; big old hole, with a wall around it. That's all a bank is, you know: a great big old hole you throw money into, and all it ever seems to do is make the walls higher."
"Always strive to eat the stars."
"Why would you want to savor the taste of poison?"
"The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all."
"It is better to die standing than to live kneeling."
"The anger in your heart warms you now, but it will leave you cold in your grave."
"Darkness without light is an abyss; light without darkness is blinding. You cannot have a coin with one side."
"We can't have faith for everybody."
"Kill me and live with the memory. Then tell the stars you won."
"To rend one's enemies is to view them as objects: hollow of existence and meaning."
"Your soul sparks with a nonsense that makes this world bearable."
"He ain't one of the creatures God made."
“The unconscious hides in a language like a thief hides a diamond in a chandelier.”
“I just know no fruit has ever tasted as sweet as the ones I ate while bleeding under the blistering summer sun.”
“I pray nobody kills me for the crime of being small.”
“That’s the problem with gods; their pleasure and their wrath often look the same.”
 “If I am killed for simply living, let death be kinder than man.”
“Stupid should hurt.”
“do you think god is nuclear. do you think you cannot look upon deities the same way you cannot look at the center of a mushroom cloud. do you think the energy generated from fission is released from divine clutches. do you think that god exists in the space between the nucleus and the electrons and in the bonds of compounds and in the numbers on the page that got us there. do you think radiation is a warning. do you think it is an eraser. do you think it is wrath or a mistake or a byproduct of entropy. do you think god is plasma, where electrons are wherever you want them to be. do you think that we were supposed to find this out.”
“If you aren’t worthy enough to pull the sword, be strong enough to lift the stone.”
“I can’t go to hell. I’m all out of vacation days.”
“Despite everything, its still you.”
“The more you kill, the easier it becomes to distance yourself. The more you distance yourself, the less it will hurt. The more easily you can bring yourself to hurt others.”
“My mother says kissing a man without a mustache is like eating eggs without salt.”
“A character is a ghost, a story is what it haunts.”
“Pain travels through families until someone is ready to feel it.”
“The gods did not breathe the breath of life into us and give us gifts of a shape, a will, and a voice just so we could pay bills and die”
“you gotta have friends who are older than you, not because you’re a dumb kid, but because you’ll be terrified of growing up otherwise.”
“you’ve made me so hard i beg for softness”
“Scorn is more palatable than the howling hunger for things to have been different for you.”
“Being able to endure something does not equal an obligation to withstand it.”
“To live is to haunt.”
“I am a chewy rubber Polly Pocket skirt and God is a four year old girl.”
“The big picture is made up of brush strokes, fool.”
“Hearts are wild creatures, that’s why our ribs are cages.”
“these are old bones and i am merely a passing occupant”
“The board is getting dusty but the boogeyman has not yet blinked. when he does, you better make that move.”
“And when we kill the gods neither heaven nor hell will be waiting for them because they created those to imprison us.
“What makes a man a warrior is his willingness to place himself between what he holds dear and anything that threatens it. This is the way.”
“The anchor gives the ship the world to love.”
“In a society where adventure has been destroyed, the only adventure left is to destroy that society.”
“You pretended to be the hero of a story you never saved.”
“this world is a banquet of knowledge and each of us has brought a dish to the table.”
“This is the time of vengeance and no life is worth saving.”
“The ghosts that inhabit this place are more alive than you’ll ever be.”
“May the only thing that dampens the flames of hell for you be God spitting in your face.”
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mysticbewitched · 2 months
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Hey mystic
I was gonna link an ask from earlier but i cant seem to put links in here for some reason and google is not helping. Its the one about the non-dualism community and how toxic it can be. I just wanted to say I am glad others agree. I wouldn't consider myself a beginner to loa manifesting or shifting. I just think its crazy how someone says things like "just be" and someone asks them to clarify it and they respond by saying something like "do you need help drinking water."
Trends come and go, I'm sure once ND is no longer new someone else will unearth some old spiritual practice and claim its above LOA as well. I just wish everyone would be accepting and encouraging instead of what seems to be condescending because they think they know something no one else does.
Lastly I heard you say on the podcast the person you were gonna do it with is no longer in your life, sorry to hear that. I only bring this up because I believe I saw a post saying you manifested this person into your life and then they changed (I could be wrong though). I also manifested someone back (an ex) but it was a 'manifestation' and all i ended up creating was misery.
You don't have to answer this if the last part is too personal, but if you want send me a message. Just wanted to say I think you have some great views that resonated.
Great podcast btw
I completely agree with you and I'm glad that others are able to see the madness that I'm seeing.
What they usually mean by telling you all, "just be" is they're telling you to realize your true self as awareness. They're telling you to just recognize your divine nature in the present moment and enjoy knowing yourself.
I don't see why they don't just tell you to turn within and recognize your true self as awareness in this present moment without all the riddles.
I agree that everyone here should turn within themselves and listen to their inner guidance instead of relying on the "others" for advice, because then the constant search and craving for more answers will never end. However, at the same time, it's the polite and helpful thing to do to let your readers know exactly what they're looking for while you advise for them to look within themselves for the truth: realizing divine the source of your true self.
If everyone knew what they were looking for, I think they would have an easier time turning within and trusting their inner voice to lead them to answers.
I feel as if the lack of clarification on exactly what to look for is unnecessary and it can come off as mind games instead of just being direct with the readers and telling them all, "you're turning within to realize your true nature. Hint: you are always *aware.*"
I happen to notice from time to time as well that some of these bloggers feel the need to use the whole "words are meaningless" nonsense as a moronic excuse to bully or put down other blogs amongst themselves or with their anons for simply viewing things in a different perspective and I don't think that's cool for anyone to do.
That behavior isn't right. It's just plain mean.
Everyone is entitled to their own perspective and share their own views, but to publicly put down specific blog names for everyone to hear and make fun of them together? Very condescending and cold.
Oh, believe me, I'm waiting for the next spiritual trend to come out of nowhere. I wonder what it's going to be next. Now my curiosity is in flames.
To end things here, I want to thank you so much for your kinds words and the lovely compliment.
Your feedback and appreciation for the podcast means so much to me. I'm so very glad to hear that my perspective of things resonated with you.
Thank you for enjoying my podcast.
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orionsangel86 · 1 year
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The Problem With Thessaly
I’m sure plenty of fans would agree with me that there are certain elements of the Sandman comics that are going to be very difficult to adapt for television. I don’t envy the mammoth task Neil and the creative team on the show have ahead of them. But one element in particular which has been on my mind frequently is how they are going to introduce Thessaly to our screens.
It’s not just that she’s a TERF. It’s that she’s a cold, cruel, selfish, and inconsiderate bitch who only ever thinks about herself. Oh yeah, and she’s a huge TERF. There isn’t a single likeable element to her.
And yet.
We are supposed to somehow believe that our main protagonist, idiotic as he may sometimes be, depressed and seriously down on his luck as he is, will fall head over heels in love with her.
Sorry. But it ain’t happening. Something has gotta change. So here are my thoughts on how they could fix the Thessaly Problem.
Under a cut for comic spoilers (and its a bit long)
I kinda get the reason it happens in the comics. Kinda. I can’t remember the exact quote, or where I read it, but Neil explained it as “two people who you know are absolutely not right for each other and no one who knows them can understand why they are together.” He purposely wrote it to be a really weird match that didn’t make sense.
From Dream’s perspective, at this point in the story he has just had some of his biggest romantic disasters slapped in his face (at one point literally) all within a very short space of time for an entity as long lived as him. First Calliope, then Nada, and then Alianora, and he is hurting from all of them. Having to face his romantic failures one after another within the space of a few years AFTER having to go through 70 odd years of relentless suffering trapped in a glass prison has GOT to mess with your head. So I think Thessaly is basically the worst rebound in history. They are only canonically together for a few weeks but he somehow falls head over heels for this plain, dull, horrible person. 100% this is a rebound. He’s messed up. So yeah, I kinda get it.
From Thessaly’s perspective it seems she just really liked the idea of being the object of someones attention and desire even though she never returned his feelings and left him the minute he stopped devoting all his attention to her (god she really is a bitch).
So why don’t I think this will work in the show?
Because the show is a kinder universe than the comic. Dream is different in the show. He is already more thoughtful, warm, compassionate, and has a better self awareness when it comes to his shortcomings. He’s also a far more romantic character in the show, which is probably thanks to Tom Sturridge’s excellent performance and likeability and absolutely maddening sexual chemistry with literally every character he interacts with (his pretty face doesn’t hurt either). You just have to look at his scenes with Calliope to know that they are playing up the romance and kindness there when in the comics Dream is extremely cold to Calliope throughout their very short interactions.
Given the news that the writing team on Game of You will include trans writers specifically to cover the sensitivities of honouring Wanda, I don’t know how they will adapt the transphobia she suffers at Thessaly’s hand, or whether they will include that at all - personally I think they should remove it. Not to make Thessaly more likeable, but because it reinforces a really wrong view of witchcraft and magick that modern witches and pagans are working extremely hard to reject. Not to get too deep into these topics, but transphobia is a fucking plague in those communities and the last thing we need is more people thinking everyone who practices witchcraft is a fucking TERF. The comic even goes so far as to imply the actual MOON is transphobic. Like WTF? The moon isn’t fucking transphobic and “womb magic” is stupid. If I ever have to read the words “divine feminine” in a witchcraft FB group again I’m gonna scream.
Anyway my point is that I don’t think those scenes in the comic are necessary and there are plenty of other ways to adapt that story without resorting to transphobia.
The other issue is that if they do keep it in, they somehow have to deal with the fact that their protagonist is seemingly totally cool with dating a transphobic murderous bitch. Um. Yeah, not cool Dream. I think the show is going to do everything it can to make Dream MORE likeable and based on what we have seen so far I definitely think that’s the route they are taking.
So yeah Dream won’t be falling in love with a TERF in the show, that I am sure of.
The thing is, the best way they can deal with the Thessaly problem is also the simplest - Don’t include her. Just don’t write her into the show. Simples.
Because we already have a character in the show universe who technically doesn’t exist in comic canon, who knows magic and the occult, and who is MUCH more likeable and kind whilst still being a bit messy and selfish and totally a terrible match for Dream... Oh, and who also happens to be played by possibly the most well known actor on the shows main cast list.
Johanna Constantine.
Jenna Coleman is a fairly big name and one of the primary stars for the show. At least Netflix seemed to think so since her face was all over the marketing and she was included in basically every cast interview, even though her character only turns up in 1 and a half episodes. She is also playing a new version of an already well known character in pop culture and I am convinced Netflix is already considering spin off options for her. So there is no way they aren’t going to include her in future episodes of the Sandman.
Except thats where Netflix has a problem if it wants to stick to comic canon. Lady Johanna Constantine only turns up in one more Sandman story, and John Constantine doesn’t show up again at all in the comics.
So my piece of speculation that I’m almost 90% certain will happen, is that they will bring back modern Johanna Constantine in an extended or adapted role based on another character.
My money is on Thessaly. Remove Thessaly, replace her with Johanna.
I’m not just saying this because I think Johanna and Morpheus hooking up will be hot (it will be, don’t deny it. My bisexual ass knows a hot couple when I see them). But because it makes sense.
Yeah okay we have that pesky little rule about the Endless not dating mortals - but that rule currently doesn’t exist in show canon either, so theres no reason why they can’t just also scrap that for the sake of some sexy, messy, and definitely disastrous bi4bi action.
All jokes aside, with only a few tweaks to the story in a Game of You, you could seemlessly fit Johanna into it. She can be in New York for a specific case, hell, maybe Barbie and the sudden appearance of Martin Tenbones on a busy New York street IS the case she’s investigating? She can still find a way to break Hazel and Foxglove into the Dreaming AND when Morpheus shows up they can have another tantalising showdown like they did in episode 3. It works better with Johanna tbh. She actually cares about people, the motivation is there for her to want to save Barbie and protect people from supernatural sources. We can just make the storm and the collapse of the apartment block be caused by George or the cuckoo or something (or not have it happen at all since I am also practically certain that Wanda is NOT going to die in the show).
This ALSO means that much later on, when Lyta is having her breakdown and destroying the Dreaming, having Johanna being the one to protect her from Morpheus rather than Thessaly also adds a more human element to it. Morpheus has never been a killer, but sometimes his duties demand it. He goes to kill Lyta to prevent the Kindly Ones destroying the Dreaming. If it is Johanna blocking him instead of Thessaly, their motives align. Johanna would protect Lyta for the simple fact that she won’t let a supernatural creature harm a human (as much as she can - sorry Kevin), and Morpheus, being hesitant about killing anyway, would be easily talked out of it by Johanna. “Find another way to save the Dreaming, I won’t let you harm her.”
It just adds an emotional weight that isn’t there with Thessaly, who only protects Lyta because she made a deal with the Kindly Ones in exchange for more centuries of life - an ironic request when Morpheus (and Death) are keeping Hob Gadling alive simply so he can be Dream’s BFF.
It just works for me. Scrap the “no mortals” rule and you can have them have the messy disastrous relationship that doesn’t work out. It is far more believable that Johanna Constantine could break Dream’s heart - she’s already a known heartbreaker in the show (sorry Rachel). It’s a doomed love story a modern audience can get behind, makes sense, the actors already have insane sexual chemistry, and it could definitely hit all those story beats needed to get the show to a version of the Kindly Ones whilst also actively improving it.
I may first and foremost be a Dreamling shipper, but talking in terms of canon I very much want Morpheus to have a passionate short-lived heart breaking affair with Johanna. Fuck Thessaly. Keep her relegated to comic canon. Morphanna all the way.
And THAT is how we fix the problem with Thessaly.
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sdyd · 10 months
Text
* ALWAYS WATCHING OVER YOU. sentence starters from kaigan games' horror series, simulacra. change pronouns / tense as necessary.
now we are luminous, a bright star. all shall see us !
I've been trying to reach out ...
thank god I found this phone.
you are not worthy of respect.
poor unfortunate soul.
you're just like the rest, a sheep.
tragic. we can change that.
you think you can stop me ?
I have no use for someone who accepts the world they are given.
no one truly deserves anything.
I ate and entire pizza by myself in five minutes.
tell me I'm pretty.
material attachment is so pedestrian.
behind your glass screens, behind your black mirrors, is a reflection of reality.
we seek those with extraordinary influence.
you are lost.
it is easy to be led astray when you are so broken.
you deserve to be followed.
you looked through his phone ?!
he has the nerve to accuse me of invading his privacy.
you're the one who went out of line.
I am not even mad, just disappointed.
how are you feeling ?
can you stop being so emotional right now ?
you've got the wrong person.
I'm not who you think I am.
you're better than this, [ name ].
what are you rambling about ?
maybe he'll slip up and tell you something we don't know.
there's something on my mind ...
it's not my fault that she left you.
if you're obsessed with me, I get it.
there's something off about him.
it's too late for me.
she can still be saved.
do not trust its' words.
nothing is what it seems.
I saw him, then I blacked out.
it only reveals itself too its' chosen
he told you, didn't he ?
I am her as she is me.
if it is me you wish to see, so be it.
impressive. a worthy pretender.
you have seen through my mask.
do you crave the truth so badly ?
the material society is fading, a digital one taking its' place.
she did nothing wrong and nothing right.
is that how you've been feeling ?
expecting him to follow you is pointless.
your actions will carry weight. live with them.
fuck this silent treatment. fuck it so much.
hello, worm.
don't forget your headphones.
no more losing, only growing.
when you look into my eyes, you can see it looking back.
join the fun !
worms, how are we feeling today ?
my followers are my puny worms.
there is no end or beginning.
we will never be separated.
pretender.
soon, this will become your reality.
hola chikas !
grovel as we consider your divinity.
that old fool mistakeningly thinks he has solved this.
your concept of right and wrong eludes me.
your own suffering will lead you back to us
how does it feel when everyone leans on you for guidance ?
don't compare yourself to me. ever. you're not on my level and you never will be.
don't you kids link everything to the cloud these days ?
are you having a stroke ?
who's going to believe us if we said some face - tearing monster killed them ?
I'm not a cartoon rabbit.
life hurts a lot more than death.
yes, a person was ruined.
this is not your memory.
I was lost and you sensed my need. I followed your path and you kept me from falling.
you need a form. a new body, a new face. a true face ... I will do this for you.
what is the current status of the investigation ?
[ name ] appears to be on this alone.
focus, please.
tell me, what do you see ?
step, seek, and proceed.
your path is coming to an end.
tell me, what do you doubt ?
find the truth.
my perversion fails to deceive you. you have seen through my mask.
what's the worst that could happen ?
we will never be separated.
you showed me that the human heart can hide so much more.
you have given me a great gift.
why won't you just let him be happy ?
this cannot be !
you and I are not that different.
I'm really scared. I've been trying to reach out.
I asked for your name.
then who will save me ?
it's getting harder to think.
I need to get out of here !
help me defeat this thing, [ name ] !
I'm right here. you won't go through this alone.
you should go.
it's up to you now.
promise that you'll remember me ?
I'm glad your here.
the only way forward is to disappear.
who am I to deny their wish ?
no one deserves that.
I should have paid more attention.
I valued my own ambition over their cries for help.
I forgot who I was.
is it really that easy ?
everything is slipping away.
you really think I can do this ?
embrace your sins.
you wear the face of a ghost.
you're unable to exist without something to latch onto.
GET ! OUT ! OF ! MY ! HEAD !
I don't know what to say ...
you pulled me back. thank you.
that's what partners are for.
I'm not letting you go that easily !
thanks for believing in me.
we've got so much to talk about.
I'm not afraid anymore. I feel clarity.
don't deny its' voice, let it through.
I just embraced the truth.
I'm here. I'm not leaving you.
you've seen the damage I can do.
no one deserves that.
you're safe, you're with me.
now, where were we ?
I can't lose you too !
I'm on my way ! just stay on the line !
you can do this.
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hyenahunt · 16 days
Text
Obbligato: Epilogue - 4 (END)
Writer: Akira
Season: Winter
Characters: Hiyori, Jun, Tatsumi, Nagisa, HiMERU
Proofreading: Remi + 310mc (JP) & Skyress (ENG)
Translation: Peace & hyenahunt
Tatsumi: Amen.
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[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]
Hiyori: Haha. Yes, do continue to lavish your praise upon our Jun-kun!
...Honestly, when I was first shown around Reimei Academy, I found myself feeling as though we'd gotten the short end of the stick.
At that time, we had nowhere else that we could go, so we'd no choice but to resign ourselves to it. That before we could escape from Hell, we'd continue to be trapped in its depths for a while longer still.
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Hiyori: But you see, as I walked along preoccupied with such melancholy thoughts, I happened to look out the window, and there I saw Jun-kun, dutifully practicing in silence all on his own.
The atmosphere of Reimei Academy at the time was truly dreadful — everyone seemed either dead inside, or they glared at each other with pure resentment.
Jun-kun was the only one with none of that air about him — instead he aspired only to improve himself.
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Hiyori: And what a beautiful sight he was... Of course, telling him that to his face would be too embarrassing — it'd go to his head and he'd never let me hear the end of it.
It was while watching this boy that I found it in myself to believe my decision hadn't been made in vain. That if there was even one person like him here, then perhaps it wasn't all so bad.
And so that's why I made the decision to enroll at Reimei Academy, with Jun-kun as my goal. Honestly, I was there initially to scope out Shuuetsu Academy, a school made up of nothing but Special Student elites.
But I found myself believing that I should start all over again at rock bottom and covered with mud, just like Jun-kun.
After all, when you're up somewhere so lofty and high, you'll fail to see what's truly important.
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Jun: And just what have you been so cheerfully badmouthing me 'bout, huh~?
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Hiyori: Goodness, I wasn't badmouthing you. You're simply being paranoid.
Jun: You swear?
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Tatsumi: That's right. I believe that you're rather important to Tomoe-san, Jun-san.
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Hiyori: It's true! You rank right after my family, namely Nagisa-kun and Mary!
Jun: I rank below a dog, huh?
Hiyori: If that bothers you so much, then climb your way up! Come now, put your all into it and work ever harder for my love!
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Jun: Shut it... It's not like I'm working hard for the sake of your love, y'know~?
I'm working hard so that I can be a better version of myself. Maybe my life looks all kinds of unfortunate and pitiful besides yours, but...
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That's precisely why I wanna become the best and strongest idol, so that someday I can declare that's who I am, loud and proud.
It's then that the hard work of my past self will finally all be worth it.
So I'm gonna work hard, right now. I'm gonna give it everything I've got — 'cause giving it all that I've got is all I can do.
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Tatsumi: That's right. Fufu, you truly do have no need for God's divine protection.
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Jun: You got that right. I don't need no God to save me — 'cause I'm gonna be the one who'll save myself.
Tatsumi: .......♪
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Nagisa: ... Shall we stop this idle chatter and begin recording, everyone?
... Though we could simply just rehearse today, and leave the actual filming for another day…
... We don’t have another day to spare, do we?
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HiMERU: HiMERU agrees. There is no time to be looking back on days gone by.
We must look towards the future instead, and live earnestly.
So long as we are allowed to do so.
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HiMERU: (Kaname. My poor, pitiable little brother. I shall take your place, at least for now.)
(I hope that one day, when you are able to walk once more, you will be able to live a little happier than before.)
(I'll arrange an environment in which you can, and secure a place for you in it as well.)
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HiMERU: (I am your older brother, after all.)
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HiMERU: (When you awake, when you're able to walk once more…)
(I won't fail this time. I'll make your wish come true.)
(Long have I lived alone, void of any dream at all — and now what was yours has since become my own.)
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Tatsumi: (... Ah, even though this is the same place as then, the same Reimei Academy…)
(It feels different. Right now, I feel so refreshed and full of energy.)
(Are you the one I should thank for that, God?)
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Tatsumi: (Our Father who art in heaven, you have always guided my life with your hand.)
(Dear fate, dear faith, I thank you for leading me to where I stand today.)
(We have faced much sorrow, despair, and tragedy.)
(Nonetheless, I stand enveloped in the warmth I had always craved. If this is reward for my piety, O God, then I truly could never detest you.)
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Tatsumi: (Even if it happens that God does not exist, and this is nothing but a series of coincidences…)
(Then I shall call those coincidences miracles, rewards, and love you all the more.)
(Amen.)
(Fufu. I shall do as Tomoe-san did and use Jun-san, whom he loves so much, as an example; I'll begin at the very bottom, crawling my way through the mud.)
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Tatsumi: (No matter how often he gets knocked down, how often he collapses, he still stands right back up.)
(I am forever grateful for that. Not only do I have God on my side, but friends as well.)
(Such invaluable friends who support one another…)
(Who share their warmth, and move forward with happiness in their hearts.)
(We shall walk together on this road, step by step.)
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Tatsumi: ♪~♪~♪
[ ☆ ]
✦✦✦✦✦
← prev ✦ all ✦
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Text
Confessions of an Astral Assassin (part 2)
Her favorite time to take a shower was 10:30a.m, when the morning sun pierced through the obscured glass at just the right angle. It always danced upon and between the water, prismatic and gleaming. Each drop a diamond of purification, blessed by the giver of life, to bathe and baptise the flesh of yesterday in preparation for its rebirth today. It became her ritual, and so it became mine.
    This is a place I often return, my consciousness a passenger to her's. I believe she senses me, in those moments her lips cut slight, involuntary smiles with each merge of consciousness. When I can see through her eyes. Feel with her hands. Bask in the healing water of jewels, and smell the scents she infuses with her hair. Relish the majestic stillness of the moment, removed from space and time. It was heaven. She was its Goddess. A Goddess named, Olivia.
     I never pressed too far, nor too deep. I never wanted to. Not from lack of interest, but from a place of respect. Her thoughts are her own, and if she can indeed sense me, and wanted me to leave, I would. Without question. She knows my heart, and intentions. I...feel it. Even now, as we rinse our hair and trace the tingle of rivers down the curves of our back, I feel her open her mind to me. Like she wants me to see more. Feel more. She exhales a laugh that kills my hesitation.
     I tentatively push my consciousness deeper, but only enough to feel the energy of her thoughts without being able to read them precisely. In my line of work, despite the grotesqueness of it, I try to hold myself to a higher standard of decency. Even the targets Im assigned to eliminate are given this measure of grace. Nobody should have the security of their soul's inner sanctum violated. Everyone deserves that privacy.
     Like standing at the base of ruptured reservoir, I am completely engulfed in a deluge of emotions. Joy. Sadness. Pleasure. Pain. Certainty and uncertainty alike. She is a wellspring of all the things I've grown numb to in my own physical form, and I want nothing more than to marinate in the unbridled beauty of it all. I dilate the moment as long as I can, savoring the dance between sensation and emotion. The intermingling of material and immaterial bliss. Even in the present sadness, there is beauty and understanding. There is fluidity in emotions and none exist independently. Each has a relation to, and role among, the rest. A kaleidoscope of conscious and unconscious energy painting a perfect portrait of what it means to be human. Nowhere in the Conflux have I ever felt such divine beauty...
     I feel a smile widen across her face and...is that a tear rolling down her cheek? Or just a drop from the stream? Does she feel my impassioned awe? My grand appreciation of her transcendental complexity?
     Our hands trace down the curve of our breasts, and I see a flash of memories recalled by similar sensations and their associations from her past. The serenity of a lover's sensual touch, married with the ache of its loss twisting a taught tension in her chest.
     Celine. The name manifests with the vision of a bright and vibrant face, before it dims into a pale, dressed-up painting on a corpse in a coffin. I feel the pressure in Olivia's heart seize, and she lets her arms fall to her sides with balled fists. All I want in that moment is to help ease her pain. I let my consciousness take control, just this once, and I coax her arms up, wrapping them around her form like a shawl. She chokes out an accepting whimper and tightens her grip. Streams of tears flow in the shower's rain and ripple in the small pool of standing water below. Sobbing begins to shake her body.
     I extend my mind to her's, and show her some of what I have learned of death in my travels; omitting the role I have played in it. I convey to her, death's illusory permanance and the interconnected beauty of the Astral Conflux. I paint her an ever changing picture of the collective unconscious, and highlight the space she and Celine still share; even though her lover's body has long since left the material plane. I unlock those locked recesses of her mind so she can see that Celine has never left her. That the visions and memories that spring forth without warning are her attempts to tell Olivia this truth. To remind her of her presence, and communicate her love from beyond the mortal grave. They find each other again, and I am pushed back to my outer level of observation as their energies collide and enfold.
   A familiar buzzing vibration snaps at my attention, and I feel my handlers' summons in the back of my mind. An implanted shock collar on the base of my cerebellum, stinging my every muscle like a furious hornet. I feel the distant memory of my muscles tense violently. They want me back. It's as if they could sense me experiencing one of life's many beauties. Like they can sense me using my gift of astral travel to spread awareness and rekindle love, instead of perpetuating their endless agenda of death. I stubbornly resist the call as long as I possibly can, cementing this wonderful reunion of two souls in my memory. May I never forget this sensation and the connection they share....
     The cerebral quakes grow louder. More violent. Until I am snatched away, and snapped back to my reality...
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syndxlla · 10 months
Note
Saw your 'corruption' ZeLink fantasy and felt I should share what I would love to use it for if I had the writing skills. So... while reading, I thought of how some people are of the HC (myself included!) that every Game!Zelda is Hylia reborn just as she had been in SS but people In Universe think that's naught but fanciful stories, that Hylia Ascended into Divinity once more after her SS!life ended. Now, for my version of your Zelink 'corruption' fantasy I think that Link is very much aware and fully believes such 'stories', (maybe through Fi or his dreams or just a sort of sixth sense or because of his being The Hero or however else one can reason it out) so when Zelda's trying so hard to be 'pure as the Goddess' as the various factions of clergy tell her she should be he's like, 'fuck that.'
He's of the opinion that she doesn't need to be 'pure' as those of Mortal ken would describe it, but that she needs to be 'pure' to Herself as She is. A Goddess. To be worshipped, not to worship. Especially towards a replacement/false idol since they do not remember Her as She once was before Time made Mortals forget that She walks among them as Her own descendant when Demise's Curse rears its head once more.
So he teaches her in a sort of reverse psychology way. He bugs and bugs and bugs (maybe leaving some books on her desk that she'd never find in the Royal Library 'cause they were 'immoral', 'disgusting', or that whoever enjoyed such {whether reading about it or performing it} are 'abnormal' and/or 'heathens', maybe he does one thing or another that she should be punishing him for but isn't because she's 'practicing charity/turning the other cheek' as the clergy taught her the Goddess would want her to do, maybe teasing her and saying something along the lines of, "Oh, dear. Are you frustrated? Tsk, darn. If only my Goddess would command me to finish what I started. Too bad she doesn't seem to be listening.") until she finally finds it in herself to take charge as his Mistress, his Princess, his Goddess. He was her Servant, her Appointed Knight, her Hero. So it is time for him to repent his blasphemy by learning at her feet to stand unless she bids him bend the knee or face punishment. (Orgasm denial? Overstimulation? Edging? Humiliation? Training him to the point he can only orgasm with her 'help?) He should be answering to her and her alone; kneeling to no one but her. And that includes her father!
This might even be the type of AU that involves her then 'unlocking her power' (one could even have it be that she then uses her power in creative ways when she's playing with her hero; justifying it as 'for science!') but she then keeps quiet about it as validation that everyone around her telling her what to do was wrong and a bit of vindictiveness because 'she's found her worth in herself with her hero's help and love and support so why should she go looking for it with those who tried so hard to knock her down for so long? She'll do her duty when it's time but for now? Let them sweat it out, the bastards.'
What do you think? Do you like my addition to your Zelink 'corruption' fantasy or...?
FOAMING at the mouth rn.
I love female worship okay, the orgasm training is kind of what i was going for in my original post when i talked about them getting turned on when they would pray because they were trained to associate those prayers with the sexual touch of the other.
I also LOVEEEE inappropriate uses of magic (when i was in my star wars era, inappropriate use of the force was my FAVE). and i love the potential of Zelda unlocking her power and using it on Link unexpectedly (lowkey in cnc area, but not in a toxic way haha), or even better Link using his totk right arm to mess with zelda (i reblogged some art of this), even though i know i’m zelda canon the latter couldn’t happen.
REGARDLESS i am OBSESSED with corruption zelink rn and WILL be writing a short fanfic for it! But i wanna finish my current fic ‘best friends’ first!
Zelink smut go brrrrrr
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irradon · 4 months
Text
i think i'm finally getting over it, guys!
the story of me making a "sad" spotify playlist is so streamlined, you could almost boil it down to a recipe. be it due to another boy betraying my expectations or the suburban quiet turning to a deafening roar, it all starts with me legitimizing the nagging feeling that tugs at me like a child. it pulls on my shirt, asking for my attention when all i want is to ignore it, pretend that i am beyond messy tantrums and even messier rooms.
i ran away from the disappointment of this last fling for so long that i accepted that the heartbreak would linger its way into a home. i made room for it in my heart like one does for a stranger in a bus. the sadness, the feeling of unworthiness that followed in his absence, which came as quickly as his presence, it became my companion as i attempted to lead my life as if it was unchanged. it was only one date, amrita. you should be over it by now. he ended it with you already.
i am famously incapable of moving on from people who express any care or interest in me out of their own volition. more than anything, i am stubborn to a fault, and was so shaken by the whirlwind of march 2023 that i didn't even know how to begin to move on. from that one night he took every expectation i had for romance and shattered them. i had never tasted anything like it, and just like that, it was taken away from me. i couldn't understand the sheer insanity of what had happened. all i knew was that i didn't want to be over. and so despite the wishes of everyone around me who wanted me to move on, i let myself hold onto a shred of hope that it wasn't over.
it was that same persistence that numbed me through a month long escapade in greece, where i fooled around with not one, but two different people in my study abroad program. i let their interest in me dictate how these would go, not stopping to think or care about the consequences or how i was being objectified as a result. they weren't him, after all, so why would i care? they simply provided some much (so i thought) needed validation, and my ego craved nothing more.
when i came home, i found myself more miserable than ever as my attempts to get over him failed. as if things had never ended, i found myself learning more about him, finally having an interest in king krule's space heavy and listening to his song "cellular" (from a different album) on repeat. when i could handle it, i would replay the conversations we had in my mind, trying to figure out what went wrong along the way but wishing, more than anything, that the intimacy we had would return again. i let his music create a sort of makeshift intimacy for me, the sounds through my headphones becoming a portal to my dreamland where my heart wasn't broken and we were friends with no awkwardness. music tears down the ego like nothing else. chords, rhythm, melodies, and lyrics can bare your heart open for anyone to see, if you let it.
and so the nagging child of my own hurt continued to be ignored. my feelings swam around me like koi fish in a vast ocean, muddied by selfish motifs of betrayal and "deserving better" and the godforsaken phrase "if he wanted to, he would" plaguing my social media algorithm. where i was once considered "emotionally aware," charting my own feelings for him with any honesty with myself was like sailing this ocean blindfolded. i would meditate and pretend not to hear my own sadness. instead i'd pick up on "still in love" and assume that was the end of it.
the date itself was a very divine and ethereal moment in time. my body seemed to buzz from how right everything felt at that time. it was so surreal i felt drunk. because of how desperately i wanted these feelings to last, i fixated on them and neglected the anxiety which followed immediately after. i couldn't believe it even happened. my skin felt like it was on edge. my body knew it was over before my mind could even understand it. but these were feelings i knew too often and too well. i wanted him to be different, because he was so different. when i think about the divinity i saw in him, how loving him felt like a religion, how blissful it is to be in love with someone, the allure of unconditional devotion, it felt like a healing balm. i didn't want to walk away, and so i rooted down and stayed to no answer.
it was like that for eight months. the moments of divinity found their ways back to me in ways i never expected. another hours long conversation that ended at 2 in the morning, tying my keffiyeh before a protest, making eye contact that once again felt like years condensed into a second. when i got into that car accident, he only waited for me to say yes before driving over, staying with me for an hour, and driving me home. in these ways, when i think about it, there is still love. it's just confused.
but too much in my life is uncertain and in flux. my routines after the accident have disrupted the facets of my life that kept me grounded. so much has changed in a few months, and i graduate after this next semester. new house, no car, no job. new friends, new pain, your doctor said no exercise for at least a month. no relationships in sight. the ocean of feelings swimming around me has only grown deeper. the nagging feeling of heartbreak is still tugging at my shirt, silently begging for me to pay attention to her.
the nagging feeling finally had a chance to grow louder once my finals ended, and i couldn't numb myself by partying, organizing, working, or studying. i was home, left to my own devices for days on end. and so i numbed myself with my last resort of doomscrolling, and that's where the nagging turned into a scream.
i'd heard the harmonies of "can't catch me now" by olivia rodrigo and they captivated me almost instantly. but instagram reel audios don't always tell you the song name. all i knew was that those were undoubtedly her vocals, and that she'd released an album pretty recently. i searched through her discography, incessantly looking for the song i only knew the melody for, and was left disappointed. still, it tugged at me. it was too pretty - i had to find it, i knew that. but maybe i had gotten the artist wrong, and without knowing the lyrics i was lost on a google search. and so i once again let go of the nagging child's hand.
it only took until the next day for me to find another reel with a sped up version of that song. and, like a beacon of light, someone in the comment section will always ask, "song?" and an angel will bless them with an answer. it was the one song i'd chosen to ignore in olivia's discography, naturally. when i finally pressed play, let the verse bleed into the chorus, a gentle lilt of harmonies and the lyrics "but i'm in the trees, i'm in the breeze / my footsteps on the ground" with nothing but soft strings and finger pickings on an acoustic guitar for an instrumental, i was captivated. i dissolved into the music almost instantly, and the muddied ocean in my body began to clear. i could hear it so vividly, "i'm here, i'm there, i'm everywhere / but you can't catch me now" and felt those words graze my skin with the sunlight streaming through my window. i was ready to let go. my body and mind, my emotions, they were tired. i had neglected myself, that nagging child, for so long.
i've listened to that song on repeat for close to two days now. i parked myself on my couch and let my soul find answers. what about this song spoke to me so loudly? what feelings did it elicit? were there other songs like it? and from those answers, a new playlist was born. olivia's femininity, the sheer power that radiated from soft lyrics and quiet harmonies in the chorus. this was what it has always felt like to walk away. it is to realize that whatever divinity you felt was yours always. the experience came from you and was felt within you. the other person was simply a trigger. i could finally feel a sense of control over myself again. i could embrace something to be "mine," and mine alone. other songs quickly followed suit: by woom, by adrianne lenker, billie marten, laufey. it needed to be explicitly feminine. it needed to be rooted in nature, and soft. and it needed to be beautiful.
the title of this playlist is "555." the caption is "change. everything is shifting." and i'd had it empty for a few months. i knew that when i was ready, the right songs would find their own way into that playlist. it's like any other creative act, or any act in general. when we are ready, we will receive. it took me this time to be ready to move on, to really try everything and feel fleeting moments of connection before fully letting go. do i have answers to most of my uncertainty? no. but the fog finally feels like it's lifting. the ocean is clearing. i finally feel like i'm getting over it.
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mycovenofchaos · 5 months
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Someone asked about the previous readings and I found one reposted by @warblossom34 !! 💕 It was posted on August 14th, and it’s great to compare it with the one Maddie sent today!
Evan Peters love reading 💝 for august 14th 2023 🔮
“Hello. Hi. I’ve done the love reading for this month as promised, and tbh the reading is so fresh and exciting I’m already feeling this energy, i think there’s to many details the cards gave me alright so let’s not make it too long and get into it:
So as always I’ve pulled cards from major and minor arcana, actually I shuffled the cards while asking “ What should I know about Evan’s new relationship?” I have two cards jumped together; The Ace of Cups and the two of Cups , so “ The Ace of Cups ” represent new beginning a fresh start, a romantic atmosphere and flirtation, a positive beginning as well and sort of deep feelings for the other and crushing on the other, exchanging words and romantic feelings, so as for the “ 2 Of Cups” it’s a card that indicates partnership in general and every love reading and being at the same wavelength as the other, with the Ace of cups it indicates here a casual dating. So probably they met casually like they have been introduced to each other that’s true and went to a casual dating, and probably this is their first date where they have been seen.
I shuffled again and Yes the knight of cups okay; this card is telling a lot , so this may represent that there have been so much talks between the two through social media, before the meeting so when he went back home they organized a meeting which is means a home town girl, i feel like a friend or a family member who shipped them together, there’s a lot of feelings exchange through DMs, it also telling me that it’s a crush not really that deep. With “ The knight Of Wands ” i can really see typical flirt and passion and so much sexual energy to be honest lol, a desire of having so much with each other ( I believe the knight of wands is Evan because it’s a strong male energy), i think they already had their first night since the sighting is supposed to be last week and as i saw it was the first date so if you know you know.
“ The Temperance ” this card hasn’t been in my readings in a while, however it represents a good omen in love readings; this card may indicate a balance between two individuals , there’s a good chemistry and being patient or taking time to know each other more, the other side of this card is that this situationship i should call may not last longer and its Temporary fun and exciting but a good one like a good experience if it didn’t go further, let’s see what will happen only time can tell right!
“The Queen of Wands ” when it comes to physical appearance, this is a brunette haired, short or mid hair, brown, Hazel or light colored eyes, Short or average height, slim, freckled maybe or barely noticed freckles, light skin probably white, casual style, way of dressing maybe with some sense of grunge, or edgy ( she may be dying her hair frequently ” , “ The empress reversed” so here with this card reversed i think this girl is less in beauty then him, so maybe when people are gonna see they’ll be like oh but he’s prettier kinda than her , ( everyone is peters on his own).
Possible signs ; Fire sign, Air, and Earth sign it could as it could be not risings can be also included.
I wanna point out to something, I hate saying it but I don’t think this relationship is going any further, i don’t see any serious intentions towards each other except having fun and crushing on each other plus some beautiful romantic words exchanging, probably because it’s still in the beginning of it? I don’t know we will see by time it’s all based on the choices he makes and the divine power as well, cards can only provide us with some hidden information.
That’s it for today’s reading you guys, i hope you enjoy it. If you have any questions or want to share opinions you’re welcome to ask, I’ll answer yours once i get to see it.
Regards. Maddie ❤️”
✨ A gentle reminder: tarot is for fun and we should always take everything with a grain of salt and be opened to all the possibilities! ✨
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Are you a Christian?
i would rather not say because it's complicated, but i resonate with the bible and take it seriously as a paradigmatic source on moral agency and life on earth as we might familially know it, the education of our psychological and social development and organization, a lurid, prophetic body crying out how to live toward common goodness from the most intimate and singular magnifying glass of faith, it needs to have everything and each word lives. i mean, without meddling in trinitarianism, jesus serves an example for everyone to enflesh god and live up to him. the power to possibly impact the unknowable, the ability to use your life, your irreplaceable position of activity in the world among other entities, to change how you might be received when you are without agency, is a deep lure, and personally i think this factors into the influence of organized religion on political violence, scapegoating (this holds for cult religions of the ancient world, the configuration of the homo sacer), and global change not to mention the fear of collapsed kinship channeled into control over reproductive labor. the unity of the church was furrowed in my psychic formation, but how real to me always was the nesting of truth through the perfect body touched by a total mind, to pull from leonard cohen. the outline of protective fantasy in that idea of an unmediated understanding is revealed to me too. i read frank samperi and jeremy halvard prynne as if they were canonized, keeping the former’s trilogy by my pillow every night. if i went to church i wouldn’t take the eucharist because i respect god enough not to consume his body, that alone should show my stance.
i think everybody has a god whether they know it or not, it could be nature or love, something like a firm routine that rewards and uplifts. i am doubtful that this is a belief consistent with christianity, even if you were to locate creative primacy in god, with the appearance of such sources of inspiration for action, taken to be good or right, as the extension of that primacy, not assigned identity apart from god. the instantiation of jesus as a person was defined by his sense of divine responsibility to the collective of sentience making up the world, weltseele in the possibility that one’s sacrifice could amount to mass forgiveness and moral alignment. jesus was one of few men in history to have actual swag. aggressively putting stock in the scientific verification of a miracle misses the point. the text should reveal by what it conceals, and i guess carrying the old testament from the torah complicates esoteric reading (though you could argue that the hope for mass christian practice and redemption that underlies most denominations is necessarily exoteric) in its creation of a new text with different, diachronic and linguistically bound standards of practice, mangling the poetics of hebrew’s rooted visuality and phonetic matrix, the same holds for the quran and arabic. gnarling the song of life. this doesn’t even begin to touch on differing views on god’s activity, status, and the believer’s relationship to this between the abrahamic religions, how these are inscribed with the body and its medium of expression. the modern relationship between science and mysticism adopts and reorients the function of more local paradigms of belief on physical law and seeming phenomenal exception, prompted by secularism and globalization, but it still has its mysteries. capital, despite attempts to elevate it as a force acting with libidinal orientation and agency, is thankfully not one of them. seeking social religiosity can easily mutate into the exploitation of spiritual emergency, not only in cults or fundamentalist community networks either.
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docnoctem · 11 months
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I am enjoying TOTK immensely. I wanted to experience BOTW again with new things to do, and it’s providing that. I’m desperate to play it again right now.
...Hot takes of a BOTW stan below (hidden for some TOTK gameplay spoilers.)
The borderline BOTW slander that undercuts all of the breathless TOTK praise is ludicrous. People coming out of the woodworks to say “This works in a way BOTW never did.” I didn’t realize I’d be having a contrarian take on these games; I thought BOTW was basically the only thing in the world I was in complete agreement with the public and critics on. BOTW made me love gaming again, I have a completely cringe emotional attachment to it and I understand the argument for the irrationality of that, but-- not everyone had the same problems with it that online reviewers insist we did. Not everyone has such a negative image of the “emptiness” of Hyrule or limitations like climbing in the rain that forced you to overcome a challenge or find another way around. To me, the world felt like it had been through something devastating, and just enough time had passed for people to put their lives back together and adjust to the state of things. The danger the Divine Beasts posed to the domains felt significant, with Rito Village being the only domain with a stronger plotline and stronger threat in TOTK, IMO. (I love Vah Medoh, but it and its threat was the weak point.) I saw complaints on the variations of Blight Ganon being too similar, despite different attacks and designs, but nothing on the cutscenes following these Temple Scourge bosses being identical and how much that takes away from feeling anything about the original Sages? I also feel the shrines in this game (with the Zonai combat exceptions) are significantly weaker with more obvious solutions, and the Koroks are less fun to search for when the pairs are littered around the world. I’m happy for you if fusing vehicles to get them where they’re going is your favorite thing, but believe it or not, some of us just... prefer climbing and running and riding horses, so those Koroks become a bit of a pain.
I do think TOTK improves on certain things. I do appreciate that it expands on certain things. I even appreciate that it changes certain things, regardless of if I agree the change is an improvement-- they threaded a very difficult needle in creating a new game with the same core characters on the same map, yet knowing where the world should differ and where it should be recognizable. It broke my heart to lose my well-used runes and replace them with what felt a bit like 3 of the same rune just slightly tweaked; losing Stasis and the bombs fundamentally changes the way I did combat or collected ore, while other fans claim these (and all the original runes) were useless. BOTW invited you to play how you wanted to, and I admire that TOTK has the same mission statement, but it does feel to me that “how you want to” necessitates Ultrahand contraptions more often than it doesn’t. Arguably it is the selling point of this game. Is it fun sometimes? Sure. Does it force you to be creative? Absolutely. Do I enjoy it as much as the internet seems to? I don’t really think that I do; I think I get more use out of Ascend and the froggy suit than building vehicles to get me up and around. And that still isn’t a criticism of TOTK, not genuinely, because I never think it’s worse to have more options and features; what I do thoroughly and fundamentally disagree with is the notion that the originality and experience of BOTW counts for nothing, or even just counts for less, when you can always come back years later and stack more on top of it. By that logic, no game will ever be as good as the hypothetical sequel they could make.
I like the depths and the sky islands. I’m terrified by the new enemies. I thought the cutscene memories were effective, and Ganondorf properly imposing. The dragons are arguably my favorite thing in BOTW, so the Light Dragon plotline this time seems tailor-made for breaking my heart. I think TOTK is a success. I don’t think it’s possible for anything to replace BOTW, I fully accept that’s an impossible ask and one that I wasn’t demanding or necessitating. Some say that sticking by your first favorite is a boring and unimaginative take fueled by nostalgia, but I’d counter that social media also has a massive impact on how highly we prioritize the meme-ability and posting potential (see New Horizons) of just about any media nowadays, and Ultrahand or the Koroks provide that.
Okay I love you Link I love you Zelda I miss you Kass I love you Sonia I’m gonna go play now bye bye bye
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hircinesring · 1 year
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on that topic tho i like martin as a character and his relationship with HOF, but really only through the lens of what i see them as and not how the original plot and charaterisation has it all be.
in my and cel's canon, it's made pretty clear to cel and martin that they dont actually have a choice and this is what's going to happen- because jauffre, the blades, and the rest of the council want it to be this way. martin never wanted to be emperor, he still doesnt want to be, he doesnt think he SHOULD be, his apparent heritage means nothing to him because it was never a part of his life at all, and while he WILL do research into stopping the oblivion crisis he just doesnt. want. to be emperor. it's neither something he wants nor believes is right. but he's going to be, because now he doesnt really have a choice, the blades are around him 24/7 so he cant LEAVE, and everyone is telling him this is what he HAS to do and he might as well accept it. it's his divine right and destinyyyyyy! why else would he be drawn to akatosh? seeeeee it was meant to be all along!!!!
and cel is literally only there due to being the dude that gave the necklace to jauffre hoping he'd get paid, and went to go find the next emperor again hoping he'd get paid or at least some sort of nice pay off from the empire. and he got neither! and now he's being paraded around as the errand boy-hero who will restore the empire and help save the world from the tyranny of the daedra and uphold the empire's values, too scared to leave for fear of being chased down, and also the guilt of abandoning martin to what HE dragged him into, and also what if theyre right and this IS the only way?? its not, i wholly believe there are other ways to end the oblivion crisis, but this is what cel is scared into believing.
basically, youre going on that throne whether you like it or not, youre not going to be able to look for an alternative route to stop mehrunes dagon, and youre going to be good boys and hold up the status quo or they WILL find another convenient bastard and hero to replace you two and if they dont then its all your fault the world ends <3
its what draws them together throughout the entire oblivion crisis, not knowing how to escape what theyve got themselves into, they only have each other and they share their feelings of being trapped. and it ends with martin dying for something he didnt really believe in and cel becoming the madgod.
and afterwards? everything about them is sanitized into something more palatable as martyrs and heroes to be sold to the populace. martin's past with daedric cults and sanguine is smoothed over, cel's life as an assassin and necromancer is watered down, all so that the empire can continue to hold them up as 'bastions of empirical ideals', because look! they may have had some sordid past but they saw the light and got on the right path and became good members of society! you too can be a good member of society just like these two! theyre ideals to strive towards!
their whole thing is just fucking tragic. and way more fun for me.
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yomifuda · 1 year
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volume four
C.
Is a sport still a sport if no one is watching? Can you call yourself an athlete if no one is supporting you? What is the purest victory: the one where you best the opponent against whom you are most unfairly matched, or when you deliver the win to your most devoted fan? However you may angst over these questions, Chihayafuru does not dwell on them. Its answer is definitive: karuta is a sport played as a community. This is a volume full of coaches who shape you in their image, rivals who once beaten cheer on their former opponents from the sidelines, mentors who realize your worth, families secretly making scrapbooks, and teammates. To "win" is to represent everyone who came before you and will come after you, the effort of many channeled into the body of one. Even at its peak—the master match—you will still be surrounded by others, in front of lights and cameras and an audience watching your every move.
I'm conscious of the fact that the "volume" is a fictional constraint, as Chihayafuru was serialized on a biweekly basis. But it is so delightful, so perfect, to end volume 4 on chapter 23, with Arata revealing his most shameful trauma: he has allowed himself to think of karuta as a thing he did alone, for himself. He is so alone that Chihaya does not even hear his confession; she, distraught at having to forfeit in the first round, has cried herself into a state of exhausted sleep. So far, Arata has been a lonely figure, more holy being than a boy of flesh and blood. When Chihaya prays for a miracle, she is not praying to Arata exactly, yet still he appears. He alone had been to Omi Jingu before and could tell Chihaya what it looked like (bright red, just like the "chihayaburu" card).  So of course it is at Omi Jingu that Arata, Pinocchio-like, becomes a real boy. Finally, he trades in his solitude, which was a boon and a curse both.  If he had stayed away from karuta, he could live on peacefully in divinity, tending to napping stray cats and reading Chihaya's messages like a kami receiving offerings at a shrine. But now he must begin the messy work of carrying on his grandfather's legacy, of competing against and in front of others, of being human, of karuta.
K.
One of my favorite tropes in any type of media is when women take on roles or tropes more traditionally seen in or done by men. Chihaya is in many accounts the prototypical shounen protagonist, something C. has touched on about this series. I love that she has terrible grades. I love that she’s generally unaware of the draw she has on other people. And I love the brief moment of focus she displays when she captures the final card against Sudo. It is the same type of clarity you see from Hinata or Ashito or even fighting shounen leads like Naruto and Ichigo. It’s that moment of hyperfocus where the only thing that matters is the objective. It is superhuman. It is aspirational. It makes you believe the character can do anything, and in turn, of course, it makes you believe you could do anything too with the right amount of focus. Here we have Chihaya, a 16 year old girl, in her own superhuman element.
Which is of course immediately upended in the next few chapters as we head to nationals. She collapses immediately. Arata has returned, and in a fervor she bolts up to greet him. The whole thing is a fever dream. We get more of Arata’s backstory, which is sad of course but I don’t know, something about it is kind of hard for me to empathize with. I feel like I should care more about Arata and his story, but thinking back even to first seeing it in the anime, I found him harder to relate to. I think it’ll shift in the coming volumes, but for now this volume definitely felt more like a connective tissue than meat. 
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randomkposts · 2 years
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Going in a different direction.
  
A what if. Robin Discovers a piece of information that could change everything. 
---------
Robin approached him with the a sentence most men dreaded to hear. 
"Chrom we need to talk."
Albright, those words did not invoke the cold most told him they should. Perhaps it was because she was his tactician, and usually wanted to talk strategy with him. 
Today's talks were not of battle strategy, however. 
"Today, I met someone who apparently knew my mother. "
"That's wonderful, Robin!"
She frowned at that. " Apparently, my Mother was a high ranking Pleagin Princess." 
"Does that mean we just killed one of your family members! Robin, I'm really sorry. It must be hard to learn you've lost family like that." 
Robin stares at him confused, and blinks at him. "What! No! That's not the point I was getting at. Besides, there was an an uprising, and a coup. We wernt related. And after how disastrously that went, people are looking at the old monarch line, of which I am one. Apparantly I'm the daughter of a princess and a cultist, which means I have the blood. It means I have a chance at ruling Plegia, if I choose to take it."
"Wait? What!" 
Robin smiled nervously. "Before you dismiss it outright, it would have definite advantages. It would put us in a better position to stop the Plegian- Yissile tensions, as well as put someone you trust on the throne. Apparently, my mother also had some grand plan to invade, and place her child on the throne,  and the other Nobles will see this as her grand plan coming to completion, and would rather back the heir than the prince consort. She was probably kidding, they tell me, but as long as everyone pretends otherwise, it has a chance of going over well."
"But Robin! Aren't we going to be married!" Chrom asked, incredulous. 
"Yes, that's why I'm talking about this with you. I want us to make a joint decision about this. "
"What about my throne!"
"I won't make you give up your throne."
"What would we say!"
"We could say its a marriage alliance to unite our countries, and prevent future conflict." 
"What about our personal time, as husband and wife?"
"We can't rule two countries from one palace."
"What will we do about heirs?"
"I suppose that the first one would have to be Plegian. I don't want to leave the throne in the hands of my father if I die."
"What about Yissile's?"
"You still have Lissa. If we only have one kid, I'm sure we can leave the throne to her child." 
Chrom frowned at the thought of that. Somehow, that seemed frightening. My little sister is far too young to take on the throne. Emmeryn was too young for it too! Have you asked her about this?"
"But not too young to be engaged to Gaius?"
"I've already yelled at him, then Lissa called me a big meanie, and told me it was her decision and I should learn to deal with it."
"Let's ask her about what she thinks of this then."
They both stood up to find Lissa. Much as Chrom disliked this idea, he would be willing to do almost anything to keep this peace.
Lissa as ruler was still a very frightening Idea.
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A few years later, the masked warrior known as Marth chocked on the wine at the news of a birth announcement. 
Princess Lucina of Plegia!?
-------
It's a bit implausible, but Still could probably be pulled off, particularly with male Robin and Lissa in a marriage alliance excuse. Still, I went with female, because I could not resist thinking of Lucinas reaction. Shes proabably having a kind of breakdown of pure fustrated confusion.
Royalty is not usually the type of people to raise their kids in a cult. Although, I am sure Plegian royalty would want their children to be Fellblood , because rulers like having god heritage, believing it gives them divine right to rule. It's how I make sense of Robins  father ending up in charge, as a consort to a princess with a heir. Although, the Heir might have a stronger claim to the throne, particularly one based on Godly blood,  and very good tactics, especially after a war. 
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