Tumgik
#if ever you've been a Normal Kid in a Normal School living a Boring Life and going home as soon as you can...this book is for you
hjellacott · 1 year
Text
Letters to the girls #01
A/N: So I realised that now I'm "old" in Tumblr years and there's this whole new generation of teenagers here, some without Mums or females they can trust and talk about girls stuff, and so I thought I'd start a series of "Letters to the girls" talking about female things, particularly in adolescence and young adulthood, to have a space for feminine conversations, where you girls (and hey, why not boys? perhaps you've got questions too!) can ask ANYTHING. My messages are also open for you girls to tell me whatever you want to talk about, and I'll listen.
Today's topic is... MENSTRUATION AND THE FEMALE BODY PARTS!!! (you know where your clit is?)
I remember vividly when I first got my period. I must've been around twelve and I'm pretty sure I was the last one in my group of friends to get her period.
For some reason, I had no idea I was supposed to be expecting it. I suppose it could be your case, too? You study it in school. You know it happens. But somehow, you don't necessarily connect the dots and realise that yes, it's about to happen TO YOU. I got the scare of MY LIFE, let me tell you.
I remember going to the loo, as one does, and when I looked at the toiler paper, it was soaked in deep red blood. SOAKED. Now, of course, I laugh, but back then I freaked the hell out. I mean, imagine the fucking shock when you're just a kid and you just wanna pee and get on with your life and then you're fucking bleeding out. And I'm a hypochondriac, so you bet I only needed 5 seconds to think I was about to die. Right there sitting on the toilet. What a way to go!
I began shouting for my Mum in the worst panic of my life. I didn't even have time to think "hold on maybe we don't scare Mum". So of course she barged in, and I was borderline crying like "Mummy I'M BLEEDING! WHAT'S WRONG?!"
What makes me laugh harder now is remembering just how fucking chill and calm my mum was. She went from 100% panic to looking at me, the toilet paper soaked in blood in my hand, and then she was fully relaxed, probably thinking "fucking kid nearly killed me and is just her period". My poor mum.
That was the time that my mother, very patiently, explained to me that I had my period (which of course THEN began to make perfect sense, and I know you're probably thinking, how the fuck was this girl so oblivious? but remember this was before social media was a thing amongst teens, you guys feel adult much sooner now) and she proceeded to explain me about tampons and pads. About a decade later, the situation amusingly reverted and I sat with her explaining her how period cups are just INFINITELY better.
I then remember exiting the loo, once I was all ready, still probably looking white and mortified and feeling like my whole life was ruined, and my wonderful late father smiled this big ass smile at me and was like "you're a woman!" and gave me a super hug. Now, this might seem weird to you, but my father was chronically ill, so he was probably just happy he'd lived to see that moment.
Here's the thing about girls. I can't speak for boys, I'm not a boy. But us girls, we have frighteningly fantastic adaptation skills. So you get your period and at first I thought yeah, this sucks and life is horrible, and how am I ever going to get the hang of this? And then you just... do. Somehow life goes on and you adapt and it becomes one more boring part of your life, a monthly reminder that yes you're still not pregnant and your uterus is a little disappointed in you.
And here's a thing I only learned in my late teens. Each period is unique. Just like breasts are unique, nipples, vaginas... In my teens, I had a phase where I began to obsess about whether my period was normal, because for years it didn't hurt at all, whether other girls also got little blood clots, whether my vaginal lips were too big, my pubis too hairy, my breasts too small... All these things. When you're a teen, you just keep comparing and wondering, and many of my friends would talk about their bodies and all in school, but I'd always feel too self-conscious to join in. So now I can tell you that relax, however your body looks, it is normal. So long as your gyn doesn't say otherwise, you're fine.
Nipples come in different colours and sizes, aureolas are not always of a different colour than your skin, and can be browner, pinkier, even whiter, and yes, it's fine to have some hairs there. It's also fine to have little hairs around your chest and belly, we all, I promise you, have them. It's got to do with genetics, production of hormones, and race. Some girls might tell you "ew, I have no hair in my torso!" LIE. It's just that for many girls, those hairs are like the hairs many girls have in their cheeks or jawlines, very fine, very small, hard to see blonde hairs, like the fine hair that covers babies. And for others, like me, we might have them darker. I can tell you that I for one have some darker, perfectly visible hairs in my breasts and belly, hairs that I might pluck or ignore depending on my general feelings in the moment, and others that are so fine, I only notice they're there if the sun glows on them.
And breasts are all so different. It's also perfectly normal for your breasts to not be identical left and right, for one to be bigger or rounder or saggier, and nipples might be super tiny or round and bigger. And belly? it's fine to have a belly. If your belly is bigger than your chest, that's fine! give your body time to change. Oh, and when your trousers begin to feel tight, relax, you're not fat! It's just that in your teens, your hips begin to really develop. Mine widened a lot, so even though I've always been very thin, suddenly I was in like, two sizes more of trousers just because of it, and it's normal. Also your teens are a big time for hormonal readjustments, so don't panic if your weight is shifting a lot or out of control... Just make sure to do exercise and eat healthy, and you've got this.
And your pubis? Girl, everything that's down there is unique to YOU. Some girls have lots of hair, like, absolute bushes, the envy of lions, others don't. And it might be black, brown, blonde, sandy, gingery, curly, silky, rougher... Some girls like to trim it, some girls like to "keep it neat and tidy", some girls plait it (and I'm not fucking kidding you), some girls fully shave it. And yes, your skin will always look a little pale underneath. Your clitoris is that thing at the top of the lips that feels sorta like a hard yet soft ball of skin and cartilage, it might be bigger or smaller, pinkier or darker, and is covered by a hood of skin. And when you feel horny, the clit will get hard and come out a bit, like a tiny erection, and depending on how big yours is, you might notice it more or less, but all sizes are normal.
Also, that's just the outer part of your clit. It then goes inside, and forms like a "c", which is one of the reasons why sex done right will be pleasurable even without touching from outside. Then there's your lips. In biology, they call them labia majora and minora, and it comes from Latin, basically meaning major lips or minor lips. The major lips are in the outside sides of the minor lips, and the minor lips part revealing the most intimate area of your body, that'll always be wet (because female bodies create different amounts and types of fluids, without you needing to be turned-on, just for your overall health) and that in the lower part, has the vaginal entrance.
But don't let the names of those lips deceive you: the major lips aren't always the bigger ones, and the minor lips aren't always tiny. Sometimes, it's the whole other way around. And labia minora can also be quite dark even if you're white and pale so if that happens, don't freak out!
Just, overall, don't freak out. Come and ask. Let's talk about you!
1 note · View note
daisyachain · 3 years
Text
Blue Flag is a life-changing manga but I can’t put into words just yet the difference between a well-executed slice of life manga with queer themes and Blue Flag. Technically it is just a solid manga that has a few wobbles and a few ambiguous or questionable bits that still manages to stick the landing. Technically it follows one of the more tired queer tropes, the unlucky best friend. Technically it has a few unfortunate implications here and there and relies too much on the reader to fill in the blanks.
However.
It is a story that turns your brains to scrambled egg and upends your life and crystallizes everything about your childhood that was good and everything about it that has held you back. It is A Portrait of the Reader as a Twelfth Grader. It is a slice of life that takes the genre to its logical extreme where it actually does portray the lives of people who could be you with sensitivity and pinpoint accuracy instead of showing the shallow, fluffy school life that people might wish they had. Blue Flag is what would have happened if you had sorted your life out in high school and it’s also why you didn't.
304 notes · View notes
bukojuiice · 3 years
Text
the wedding booth  — eren jaeger
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
ೃ pairing: (eren jaeger x  fem! reader)
ೃ after being unwillingly dragged to plan and create a wedding booth for your first university festival, eren accompanies you to a bridal boutique. there, he contemplates about the future and all of the cheesy romantic stuff he wants to do with you.
ೃ genre and warnings: college au, lots and lots of fluff!
ೃ  my nav  →  my aot masterlist
ೃ 1k words
Tumblr media
My Big Fat Greek Wedding, My Best Friend's Wedding, The Wedding Planner, Wedding Crashers... hell, even Mamma Mia.
If having to be forced to watch these romantic comedies about weddings doesn't give you the sudden urge to get hitched and run away to some tropical island, then you don't know what will.
For your very first uni fair at Shigashina University, your friends had proposed a Marriage booth. To be more specific, three of your friends did. Jean, Sasha, and Connie are the masterminds behind this stupid idea and it's all because of three things:
1. Jean is pining over Mikasa so so bad. So many years have passed and yet he still hasn't found a way to confess. And so, due to his pompous ass binge-watching stupid rom-coms recently, he thinks that if "fake dating" can bring two people together, then having a fake wedding with his unrequited crush of 12 years could finally make her fall for him too. He wants the booth to be as iconic as a wedding straight out of Las Vegas. Problem is, he's never been to Las Vegas, and his terribly unrealistic basis for wanting it to be as iconic as a "Las Vegas Wedding" is that one scene from The Hangover and that episode from Friends.
He was delusional and yet, he wanted to push through with this proposal no matter what. Nothing was going to stop him... not unless it was one of the three seniors whom you would be proposing this project to in the first place.
2. Sasha's goals are much normal. A bit odd, but still normal and not as desperate as Jean's. All she wants is to get Ymir, the captain of the school's soccer team to confess to Historia, the freshman Bio-Chemistry student who works part-time as a library assistant (and whom everyone secretly fawns over for. she's just that damn cute.) However, the real reason as to why she helped [rp[pse this stupid marriage booth to get them to finally confess to each other is anyone's guess.
3. Connie thinks he's gonna get clout from this. Rise up the university hierarchy perhaps? He's treating the entire festival like it's high school all over again. He prays that the marriage booth will become the hottest thing in the festival, then he'll instantly become that cool and bad-ass freshie whom everyone wants to be friends with. Either way, if the booth is going to be a success or not, you know for a fact he's never going to be a part of the "cool kids" (good lord, can you believe people still use that term in college?) and he's gonna be stuck with you and your other friends for the rest of the years to come.
It didn't take long before they finally finished their elaborate PowerPoint Presentation (despite Connie insisting that Powerpoint is boring) that they were going to pitch to three of the principal members of the student council. Namely, Erwin Smith, Levi Ackerman, and Hange Zoe.
It was gonna be an automatic no for Levi, obviously. Nothing could ever get past that man. But if they can somehow convince Erwin and most especially Hange to get on board with their stupid scheme, then the booth was good to go.
Now, here you are, in a bridal boutique. Purchasing some simple wedding dresses that will serve as your rent-a-dress service for the Marriage booth.
It wasn't originally a part of the plan. Not at all.
However, Hange would only approve of the project IF the wedding booth was going to be made into something more elaborate and memorable. They didn't want something as simple as printing out fake marriage contracts, cheap tulle fabric wedding veils, fake plastic bouquets, and wedding pictures that came out of a polaroid camera.
Oh no no no. They wanted it to be extravagant. The cream of the crop. The absolute bomb. The best booth at the festival.
Hange saw potential in the idea and with an approved budget by the student council, you could make anyone's wedding dreams come true.
Tumblr media
 Fast forward to a week before the event, you are currently on a shopping spree with Armin, Mikasa, and your boyfriend, Eren (because Sasha insisted he had the right proportions for the rental groom outfits. She totally did not ask him to come along so that he can see you try on wedding gowns.) to buy supplies, props, decorations, and everything else needed.
"(Y/N), we'll meet you and Eren at the bridal boutique, okay?" Armin proclaims, looking at the time on his wristwatch and struggling to balance the shopping bags on his other hand.  Mikasa notices how much he's been struggling and offers to hold the bags for him.
"Sure! Don't forget about the list that Jean sent!" You shout back, turning to Eren as his fingers interlace with yours, making your merry way to the boutique whilst Armin and Mikasa go off the other direction.
"Don't get too excited." You joke, nudging Eren on the arm. "I'll just be trying on these dresses for the booth."
There's a particular glimmer in Eren's emerald eyes, chuckling at your quip. "Sheesh. Did you really have to remind me? Of course I know that. Besides, we're too young to even think about marriage right now. What's important is that I'm spending the best years of my life with you."
"Eren Grisha Jaeger, it is too damn early for you to make me a blushing pile of mess with your flirty comebacks." You deadpan, the heat rising up your cheeks as you try to hide your embarrassment from him.
The both of you laugh it off, shuffling into the store. The chiming bells of the shop door echo around the area as you look in awe at the luxurious dresses occupying every available space. The wafting smell of a vanilla pinecone scent and the soft sound of a sewing machine doing its work. There was a homey and rustic feel to this boutique that made you feel like you were sent back in time.
From great flouncy pieces adorned in layers of lace that rolled like ocean waves to more humble designs, albeit of the finest cloth.
This plethora of finery- reminds you strongly of the many genteel ladies depicted in those books and historic romances you used to read and watch. Like that of Pride and Prejudice or Sense and Sensibility.
Having the opportunity to enter a boutique such as this was a dream.
"Welcome! May I help you find anything?" A seamstress appears from the register. She looks at you from head to toe, as if trying to guess your measurements.
"W-we're looking for wedding dresses. Anything within the 200 to 300 dollar range? We don't need anything extra fancy, though! We'll just be needing them-"
Her eyes shift from you to Eren like she's suddenly a love coach, sizing the two of you up. "Yes, yes, young love! How sweet!" She chirps, breathing out a dreamy sigh. "Of course! For couples on a tight budget, we have-"
"We're looking for wedding dresses that can be used as costumes! Not too short and not too long either. W-we're not getting married or anything." You dismiss the seamstress with a wave of your hand. "I'm sorry if you thought of it that way..."
Although her shoulders visibly drop, the saleswoman still manages to smile. "Oh! I would like to apologize for assuming anything too!"
"Actually, mam, we do have plans sometime in the future." Eren grins cheekily, pulling you close to him. "Not today, of course, but we'll make sure to drop by in a few years!"
The saleslady's eyes lit up at Eren's vow. "Over here are some of our best-selling pieces! Ones that will certainly attract the eye of any groom!" She beckons you over to some mannequins lined up in the middle of the store, your gaze is drawn to the myriad of dresses on display as you walk throughout the space.
You turn back to Eren, studying him closely as he walks a few paces behind you, you thoughtfully wonder if the dresses you would pick out would match his taste.
She leads you to the back of the store to show the other garments and dresses embroidered with simplicity and yet elegance. You then pick two gowns up from their respective racks, satisfied with your purchase and making a beeline to the register to pay. However, the seamstress stops you from your tracks.
"How about this one, dear?"
You turn your attention to her, doe-eyed and curious as to what she was going to show you next.
"It is indeed a wedding dress, although not what you had asked for, the handsome young man did say something about your marriage plans. Perhaps this might help you visualize it? Give you an idea for the future, hm?" She hums wistfully, drawing your attention to the mannequin she placed in front of you. "It would be a shame if you left the boutique without trying anything on."
"(Y/N)?" You hear Eren's husky voice call out for you from the front of the store, "Armin just texted me. They can't find a specific prop in the crafts store so we might have to wait a bit longer for them."
"Okay! We can spare more time in the boutique, anyways." You answer back,  before turning your attention to the seamstress once more.
"Alright. I think I'll try it on then."
"Trying it on" turned out to be more than you had imagined. You thought you could just slip inside the dress and show it off. But nope. You needed a few adjustments to dress, adornments in your hair, and had to wear a wedding veil.
It was almost as if you were actually preparing to be wed.
"Good sir, your lovely missus is ready!" Yup, even the words of the seamstress made you feel like you were living in the 17th century right now. Did she really have to use such fancy words?
"Please, watch your step." The seamstress takes your hand and leads you out of the dressing room and right towards—
Eren who had been waiting in the shop proper.
"Doesn't she look beautiful?" She giggles, glancing at Eren for a response. "Well, I'll leave the two of you here first and bring the dresses you've chosen to the cash register first." In a wink, she's gone and had disappeared into the back almost before the words left her mouth.
The unfamiliar yet elegant garb makes you feel shy and the fact that Eren was gaping at you did not help at all. He was absolutely entranced by your beauty.
You unconsciously lower your head, tucking a strand of hair beneath your ear, unable to bear the thought.
"God, you're not just beautiful. Y-you look breathtaking."
He says in a barely audible whisper, pulling you to him once more.
Placing his hands on your waist, Eren plants a soft, tender kiss on your chest, the low-cut dress affording it easily. In a heartbeat, you feel your cheeks grow hot.
"Heh. Guess I got you again." He grins wolfishly, still admiring your beauty and tracing circles on the back of your hand. "I-I don't deserve you... I really don't."
"If you didn't deserve me, would you be here right now?" You say jokingly, raising your eyebrow.
"I mean it." He buries his face on the hem of your dress, his voice is muffled and soothing. "I can't believe you chose to love me." He looks up at you, eyes practically welling up with tears. "God, I honestly can't believe I'm crying right now, but, yeah... I am. That's how much I love you and how much I want to marry you right now."
You giggle at the expression your boyfriend has shown before you, stroking his hair and burying your fingers into his long brunette locks. "I love you too. But... why so sudden? You already told the saleswoman that we'll be back in a few years. She'd be surprised to hear you change your mind so easily."
"Well, if that's the case, then I better tell Jean to have us first on the list of the wedding booth then. We worked our asses off for this, might as well be the first to be blessed with the luck of that stupid booth."
You giggle once more as he continues to hold you so close. You feel his breath and his heartbeat. Each exhale and pulse brings you to the realization that Eren is the one. The man you want to be with for the rest of your life. The man who will help you through all your faults and mistakes, your burdens and troubles, through all the ups and downs... he will be there.
Just as you will be for him.
Guess those stupid movies centered around weddings weren’t so bad after all
Tumblr media
.taglist: @crapimahuman​
129 notes · View notes
julie-thefatones · 3 years
Text
THERES NO ONE LIKE YOU || BILLY HARGROVE X READER||
Tumblr media
A/N : I just wanted to thank @i-thought-i-knew-what-love-was​ for helping me with the idea of this story for I was having a block lol!!! Also im sorry if i didnt catch all the typos or mistakes, i tried my best lol! anyway i hope you guys like it :)
WORD COUNT: 5290
WARNINGS: 16+ (Kissing, Rude Language)
It was Summer 1985, it was unbelievably hot in Hawkins, IN this time of year.. but this year was different, it was hotter than any summer before that I could remember, so that only meant one thing.......Everybody and I do mean everybody was at the public pool. It was the only public pool in town and no on really thought or maybe they just didn't bother to get a pool of their own.
As I made my way to the pool just like every other day this summer, I felt different. I wasn't sure if it was because I did my hair different than usual, Instead of my usual half up half down action, I decided to do it to the side and crimped, it made me feel like I was in Teen Beat under the 'Your New Summer Doo' Section.... Or maybe it was my new swim suit that was all the rage this year with the coolest Neon Yellow and Hot Pink color block, sure it made me feel somewhat like a glass of strawberry lemonade but if i'm gonna be a glass of strawberry lemonade i'm gonna be the hottest glass of strawberry lemonade there is.
Well whatever, Im not going to let this strange feeling ruin my day at the pool, no way, nothing is going to ruin this day unless its an overly packed swimming pool with no room to breath...... as I walked through the gates of the public pool, I looked around, took a deep breath, and sighed "Ruined" I whispered to my self while closing my eyes. I walked over to my usual pool chair dodging kids left and right as i made my way, blocking out the parents yelling across the way for 'TOMMY STOP PUSHING YOUR BROTHER UNDERWATER!' I mean you think Tommy would know by now that when he tries to drown his younger brother, he's going to get yelled at. Taking deep breaths the whole way to my chair trying not to let anyone get to me, I laid my towel down and took my seat. I laid there for maybe 10 minutes before i heard Mrs. Fowl yelling once more "TOMMY STO-" but this time she was cut off *WHISTLE NOISE* "TOMMY! STOP DROWNING YOUR TWARP OF A BROTHER BEFORE I DROWN YOU! YOU KNOW THE RULES! YOU LITTLE DOUCHE" I heard a male voice call across the pool, I tilted my sunglasses down to see what was going down, first I saw Mrs. Fowl rolling her eyes at what the mysterious male just yelled, I scanned over to discover who this mysterious male was... He made his way down the side of the pool greeting a group of middle aged women who gawked at him. He was slowly getting closer to the Life Guard tower and thats when I realized who it was that was calling orders and greeting people across the pool...... It was Billy Hargrove, the new, but well known bad boy of Hawkins High School. Girls went Ga Ga over him, he was hot sure but I never really understood why these girls threw themselves at him, he was just a guy, I mean not to mention he was a major douche, didn't show respect to anyone he talked too, also I couldn't stand how loud his freaking car is!! like dude, not necessary, especially not necessary when its 3:00 in the morning!! did i mention he lived down the street from me. I was deep in thought, not realizing i was still staring at Billy, but now he was sitting at the top of the Life Guard tower, I didn't realize i was staring until he stared back at me and winked "Oh my gosh" I whispered to my self in embarrassment, I rolled over pushing my sunglasses back up feeling completely mortified, Maybe he would forget about it... I mean he has girls staring at him all the time.
I laid there for about 2 hours, forgetting about my slight interaction with Billy across the pool. I didn't feel bothered the last 2 hours until i felt a large presence blocking my sun, with out opening my eyes for not wanting to get out of my zen "Hey! Sasquatch, who ever you are, your mama wasn't a glass maker, so if you would kindly move out of my sun I would deeply appreciate it, thanks" I heard a cocky chuckle above me, as much i didn't want to, I opened my eyes, and there he was right above me... Billy "Ya know, its not polite to call people Sasquatch... and for your information my mom could be a glass maker... so you making assumptions .. well thats just plain rude" He said, licking his lips before continuing "But, i'm a very forgiving person so i guess ill let it pass" He said with a big cocky smile, I couldn't help but feel flustered, even though he was being so overly confident and cocky... he just had this charm about him ... but i wouldn't let him know that, I rolled my eyes in response and kept a straight expression laying still "Oh, Hey Billy.... I didn't know you worked here" I said with as little emotion as I could express "Now, I don't think that is true Y/N, I saw you checking me out earlier" He said with the same cocky but teasing tone, I scoffed "Oh please Hargrove, you wish i was checking you out" I felt him shift behind me before he answered "Ya know, usually when someone is just staring at another .. it means your checking them out" After hearing his words I tilted my sunglasses down to look at him "You flatter yourself sir" I said with a teasing smile, he scoffed and looked off and then back to me "hmmm alright Y/L/N, well my mistake" I rolled my eyes once more and pushed my glasses back up "Alright, you've blocked my sun for long enough, now move along Sasquatch" I said, back to no emotion, He chuckled "Yes Ma'am, I would hate to deprive you of your sun" He winked before walking away. I couldn't help but stare after him as he walked away..... I quickly looked away, realizing what i was doing ... What was I doing... I don't like Billy.
The next day rolled around, and I was feeling slightly more excited then usual to get ready to go to the pool. I know what you're thinking... NOO it had nothing to do with Billy... I just was excited to cool off in the water...... and lay in the sun again.... and maaaybe it had something to do with Billy, but its nothing big... I just like to give him a hard time, that is all... that. is. all.
I walked into the pool area, same as yesterday, but today I wore my red swimsuit that had little frills on the straps with a red Scrunchy to match. I laid my towel down, again like yesterday and just like clockwork I heard the same male voice as yesterday "TOMMY! DO WE HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS EVERYDAY! NOW STOP DROWNING YOUR BROTHER SO I DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHERS TERRIBLY SHRILL VOICE YELL AT YOU TO STOP! IT IS LITERALLY THE WORST PART OF MY SHIFT!" I looked behind me to see Billy finish walking to his place at the Life Guard tower, I couldn't help but chuckle at Mrs. Fowl's face, mouth wide open in offense to what Billy said.
The afternoon flew by and Billy paid absolutely no mind to me, he just say on his tower and every now and then yelled at Tommy.... But other than that.. nothing. I Hate to say i was slightly disappointed, yesterdays banter was not only fun but the most entertainment i have had this summer, all my friends were away for the summer leaving me alone ... hence the coming to the pool by my self everyday. The past week went by the exact same way, I would show up to the pool looking the cutest i can look interchanging the 3 swimsuits i own, and the 3 different hairstyles i knew how to do. But nothing, he would yell at Tommy, sit and do nothing... except when he would flirt with bimbo mcBarbie or wanna be Farrah Fawcett, it made me have a pit in my stomach... not that i was jealous... absolutely not, I was just bored.
The next day, I showed up, the same way as I had been for the past week.. except today i had no expectations except to mock the plastic Phoebe Cates wanna be that would flirt with Billy endlessly today. Today I wore my red swimsuit once again, with the same matching scrunchy... I sat and prepared to be disappointed again. I sat for about 20 mins, and just like a week before.... someone was blocking my sun, I couldn't help but grow a small smile on my face, I tilted my sunglasses and looked right at mr. Billy Hargrove with his cocky smile in front of me "You're blocking my sun Sasquatch" I said with a teasing tone "Oh my apologies ma'am" he said right before walking away. Really that was it .... no banter nothing.... I sighed aloud before sinking into my chair, what was gonna do .... and as I heard Mrs. Fowl and Billy yell at Tommy, thats when it came to me.
I approached the edge of the swimming pool, took a deep breath, was i really gonna do this... just to get Billy's attention? I rolled my eyes at myself, before stepping into the pool. I carefully walked closer and closer to the middle of the pool, looking around at all the kids around me, they looked like they were having so much fun. I started to rethink my plan, I didn't want to scare any of these kids just to get a stupid guys attention... a guy i don't even like! 'this is so stupid' i thought to my self before starting my way out of the pool, but thats when i heard the most annoying high pitched laugh coming from the Life Guard tower, and thats when I saw the Bimbo Phoebe Cates wanna be standing beneath Billy at the tower, and with out thinking I went for it. I started flailing and putting my own head under water to mimic drowning "HELP! HELP!" I screamed each time i came up for breath "HELP! I NEED HELP" I continued to scream, Thats when Billy just casually climbed down from his tower like nothing was going on and walked at a normal pace over to the edge of the pool before getting in. Billy swam effortlessly to me, and before i even knew it he swooped me up into his arms bridal style, carrying me out like i weighed nothing.... as we were exiting the pool, I had to admit, the way the water dripped off his hair and down his chest, Billy Hargrove was insanely hot.... I couldn't help but just stare at him, his face was not only hot, but it was .... Beautiful .. i mean his complexion was flawless... his eyes were such a beautiful shade of blue, and his smile was brilliantly white.. and thats when i realized he was smiling at me, I slightly shook my head in order to leave the trance i was in "Wow Y/L/N, that was quite the scene you made there.... you alright?" Billy asked in his teasingly cocky tone he always had, with his big smile, I rolled my eyes "Gosh Hargrove, please excuse me for making a scene by almost dying .... how rude of me!" I scoffed, he licked his lips with a chuckle "Oh almost dying? My bad ma lady, you did in fact almost die" he glanced at the pool and then back at me "In the 4ft end of the pool" he said with a huge smile looking straight into my eyes, with embarrassment i glanced at the pool and back at him "I was not in the 4ft end! i was at least AT LEAST!!! in the 8ft end!" I exclaimed in defense to myself, I hated lying, not only did it make me feel terrible but i was bad at it!! I noticed Billy was still holding me, and I only noticed because Bimbo Barbie and Wanna be Plastic Phoebe Cates was staring at me with murder in their eyes. Billys grip tightened around my thighs and arm as he effortlessly held me "Y/N, I had to train in this pool for 5 hours everyday for week before the pool opened to get this job..... I think i know where the 4ft end is" He said to me with confidence, I was at a loss for words, I had no comeback except for "Well, they must have painted to numbers wrong on the pool" Great one Y/N, stellar... they totally painted the numbers wrong on the pool, especially since you stood just fine where you 'Drowned' .. it was totally the 8ft end ... I wanted to face palm so badly but i didn't wanna give myself away that easy, my thought was interrupted by Billys laughter "Ya know! I bet they did paint them wrong.... My bad Y/N" He said in a sarcastic tone, I rolled my eyes in response "Well Billy, Thank you for helping me ... now if you would please let me down" I said, even though I didn't mind him holding me.... it sure was fun pissing The bimbo twins off. He smiled and nodded his head and gently let me down "It was a pleasure saving you Y/N" and as he started to walk away he turned back to me "Ya know, i teach swim lessons... I could teach you a couple things" He said with a wink "Yeah! maybe! Don't want to drown again" I said while wringing out my hair "Good! wouldn't want your fellow swim team to know that you forgot how to swim over the summer" He said winking before walking away "Yeah!!! that would be embarrassing!!!" I called after him, once he was not looking my face hit the palm
of
my
hand so hard it's like they were magnets.
Before leaving, with all my pride gone anyway, I walked up to Billy "Hey!" I exclaimed up in order for him to hear me up there on the tower, He looked down at me and smiled "Oh Hey Y/N!" He responded "Billy, did you mean it?" he squinted his eyes like he couldn't understand me, I sighed "Did you mean it!!" I exclaimed a little louder, but he still squinted with confusion "Ya know! why don't you just climb up here and tell me" He exclaimed to me, I sighed and looked around "Why don't you come down here!!" I yelled back, and again he squinted, I rolled my eyes and started up the ladder "Was this really necessary Hargrove, I see you talking to the barbie twins all the time with out having them climb up here" I said exasperated, he just smiled propping him self up on his chair "Yes, but you see... Im not actually listening to them.. its the same thing every time" he says before he start " 'Oh Billy, you look so strong, please take me out for a ride sometime' 'Oh Billy, I bet you could bench me with ease' " He said in his best girl impression and then went back to his normal voice "and yadda yadda yadda, but you! if you're talking to me... it must be something worth hearing! so how can i help ya Y/N?" I couldn't help but chuckle "well, i was just wondering if you meant it, when you said you would give me swimming lessons?" I said, looking down at my hands that were clasping the edge of Billys seat to keep my balance, I could feel his eyes on me, but i refused to look at him until i heard his answer "Well, That depends.... are you asking?" He asked, with pure joy in his voice out of amusement, I mustered up my confidence to look at him "Maybe!" I said, he was smiling the largest, cockiest smile, placing his whistle in between his teeth, not breaking his eye contact with me and then *WHISTLE NOISE* "TOMMY! IM GONNA COUNT TO 3 AND IF YOU ARE STILL BEING A LITTLE DICK IM GONNA COME DOWN THERE AND TIE YOU TO A TREE ..... BET YOU WOULDN'T LIKE THAT KID!" He yelled, still not breaking contact , I again couldn't help but chuckle, he opened his mouth so slightly so that the whistle would just fall out with ease, his mouth still open he grew a sheepish smile "Yeah Y/N, It would be an honor to teach you to swim" I smiled "Good!! thanks" I said as I started to climb down the ladder "Hows 10pm tonight?" He said, and I popped back up to level with him to make sure i heard him right "Huh?" he chuckled "I said how about 10pm tonight?" I just sat there for a minute, no knowing what to say.... I would have to sneak out in order to do that but before i could stop myself i said "Yeah sure!! that works for me" He smiled even bigger "Great!! Ill see ya then Y/L/N" I started down the Ladder again "Great!!!" I exclaimed.
I ran home and did the usual, eat dinner with the family, go to my room and read whatever book i'm reading until my parents go to bed, in which i usually go to bed or sneak down to watch some TV to myself, but not tonight.... tonight i was sneaking out.... I've never snuck out before ... let alone sneak out to be with a boy.... and not only that .. the town bad boy ..... ugh! what am I doing.
As soon as I heard my parents bedroom door shut I finished prepping my hair and slipped on some shorts over my swimsuit. I ran down the stairs and snuck out the door, making sure to close the door very slowly in order to not make a sound, clicking it shut ever so slightly, as soon as it shut i sighed in relief and turned running into someone behind me causing me to scream "WHAAAA!" I screamed "Geesh Y/N!! Ya want the whole neighborhood let alone your parents to know your sneaking out" I heard Billy whisper to me as he clasped his hand over my mouth, I let out a huge breath happy it was just him and not some criminal, I licked his hand to get it off my face, he laughed before removing his hand "Excuse me Hargrove, you almost gave me a heart attack" he chuckled "You know this is your second brush with death today, I don't know if me being around you is good for your health" I smiled to myself, Oh no... You definitely are not Hargrove. I looked at him and then realized "Hey!! why are you here, i thought i was meeting you at the pool?" we continued to walk down to his car "You really think i was going to let you walk to the pool, by your self, at 10:00 at night" he said as he held the passenger door to his car open, I rolled my eyes "Im not getting in there" I said crossing my arms, he scrunched his eyebrows confused "and why not?" he asked "Because i hate your car" I said without thinking, he laughed, now leaning on his open car door, looking at me with an amused smile "Oh really? You hate my car!!! you have never been in my car, my car is offended" He said teasingly, I rolled my eyes once more "Why do you hate my car?" He asked, I sighed a big sigh "Because!! it's entirely too loud, which usually wouldn't bother me, but when its waking me up at 3:00 in the morning and i am having a really good dream... yeah that would make me hate a car." He just looks at me with disbelief before bursting into laughter "Well, we're gonna change that" he said winking at me and opening the door wider "Now please get in the car" he said gesturing to the car "No! i'm not getting in the car." I stood my ground, I was not getting in that- My thought was interrupted by strong arms scooping me off the ground and before i knew it I was in Billys arms "Billy!! what are -" he set me in the passenger seat of his car and closed the door before i could finish my sentence. Billy effortlessly swung into the driver seat and within seconds we were zooming down the street, in usual Billy fashion... I had to admit, it was exhilarating going this fast with the music blasting this loud I couldn't help but belt the lyrics along "THERES NO ONE LIKE YOUUUUUU! I CANT WAIT FOR THE NIGHTS WITH YOUU! I IMAGINE THE THE THINGS WE DOOO" I belted, Billy smiled at me in awe, I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks and Billy started belting the song, hitting his steering wheel to the music, nudging me with his elbow to join back in, so I did. We belted songs all the way to the swimming pool, it wasn't a super long drive... but it was probably the most fun I have ever had in a 5 minute drive. As we pulled up to the pool Billy turned off the car and within seconds he was at my door helping me out. "Soooo are you even allowed to be here this late?" I asked looking around for security cameras, Billy chuckled "ummm thats up for debate, but for tonight.. yes" I nodded along "Alright.... why tonight but not other nights? did you bribe the security camera guy" Billy looked at me as he unlocked the gate to the pool "Not exactly" He said with one of his famous Billy winks, I have received more winks from billy in the last 12 hours then i have received in the past year its self.... but I didn't mind. He finally got the lock undone and we walked in, out of habit i started walking toward my usual chair "Ha, where you going Y/L/N?" I stopped in my tracks and realized what i was doing, I started back to Billy, but being flustered I tripped over my feet causing me to fall right into Billys arms, I couldn't tell if he moved to come catch me or I was just falling in
his
direction and caught me... either way, I liked the feeling of his arms around me "You know, you're a real dork" He said with a chuckle, and in a moment we just stared into each others eyes, until me being me had to sneeze, I faced away and sneezed into my arm, Billy helped me gain my balance before letting go of me "ehem.... well i'm gonna get the pool cover off and then we will start the lesson" I watch as Billy hastily got the cover off, I felt bad letting him do it alone, so I started helping him, he looked up at me and laughed "What are you doing Y/L/N" He said with a chuckle, I smiled at him "What!!! I wasn't gonna let you do it by yourself!!" He just smiled at me and then shrugged as we continued to get the cover off. We were now standing in the middle of the pool "Okay, Y/L/N, let start with basics.... Floating" He said looking at me as if to say 'Come closer' "Y/N You're gonna have to get closer to me" he said smiling grabbing my hand a pulling me closer to him, I looked up and our face's weren't even an inch away with how close we were, I could feel his breath on my cheek "you're gonna want to get on your back" He said in almost a whisper, not moving from how close he was to my face, I blinked a slightly turned to look into his eyes "Excuse me?" he chuckled "To float.... you're going to want to get on your back to float" He said smiling, all of a sudden his face was gone away from mine and i felt one hand on my legs and the other on my lower back as lifted up my Legs and balanced me out ... I was now on my back floating in a pool with Billy Hargrove "Alright, Im gonna let go" he said, he actually sounded kind of nervous, which i have never heard from Billy, as i felt his hands start to move away from me I couldn't help stop my self "No" I whispered, not wanting his hands to leave from me, he smiled and moved closer "If i don't let go, you wont learn" He said, i felt his fingers lightly graze my lower back "Well, I also wont learn if you leave me on my own too soon... ill sink" I said trying have a teasing tone but it was slightly ruined by my heavy breathing, i couldn't help i was filled with all kinds of emotions right now. Billy leaned down closer to my face "Thats true, good job" He said with just as heavy breathing as me. We focused on my floating for about 15 minutes before we went on to other things, we swam all together for about an hour or so until it started to get pretty cold, I could help but shiver "You need to stop Y/L/N?" Billy asked making his way back over to me "Im just a little cold, i'm okay though" I said through chattered teeth, he chuckled and ducked lower in the water and came over to me the rest of the way "C'mon, get down here" He said pushing my shoulder so that I would be in the water as deep as him, he moved closer where his arms were now around mine, and once again our faces weren't even an inch apart "better?" he whispered, all I could do was nod my head, I really was getting warmer.... "You smell good" I said, Did i really just say that...... 'you smell good' ? really??? ugh! ... Billy laughed "Thank you, I take pride in that." he said, moving a little bit closer "As you should, smelling good is something you should take pride in" man i am one with the words, i'm surprised he is even still here, with my stellar flirting..... A week ago I didn't even like looking in Billys direction, and now..... Now i wanted nothing more then to feel him closer not only physically but personally... He was a lot different than i thought he would be. I felt him start to lean in closer to my face, I didn't know why but i back away, which made me really mad at myself.... why did I do that "Im sorry I-" as he apologized I moved back to where I was and closer, inviting him to continue what he was gonna do, he smiled and then moved in, before i knew it his lips were on mine with out thinking I started moving my lips with his, our motion so fluid, he was good at this, his hands were now on my back moving me closer, and there we were ... me and Billy Hargrove.. making out in the middle of Hawkins Public
Pool at
11:45 at night. We both pulled away by the sight of lights passing down the street, cautious of getting caught, we both looked back at each other and laughed "You're good at that" I said catching my breath, once again feeling the blood rush to my cheeks "You're very honest ya know that" he said, rubbing my back now "Ya wanna know something though.... You're good at it too" He said looking down and quickly licking his lips and then looking back up at me "How do you do that?" I asked, he scrunched his brows confused "How do i do what?" I sighed "Get me from hating you to ... to... this! in less than a week" I exclaimed in a slight whisper "Its my super power" he chuckled "Now, c'mon... I better get you home" and before I could blink his hands were off my back and he was effortlessly hopping out of the pool. totally disregarding the stairs, he held his hand out to help me out the same way "I think, Im gonna use the stairs... ya know because ... thats why they are there" I said teasingly, he rolled his eyes "But where is the fun in that" he scoffed as he walked over to the stairs to meet me, and as soon as I reached the top he had me slung over his shoulder "Aaahh!!! Billy, I know that events today may prove other wise, but I do know how to walk on my own" I said in protest "Sure! but what if i let you down and all of a sudden a eagle comes down and swoops you away and i wont be able to stop him" I rolled my eyes at his comment "The likely hood of that happening, is about as good as me winning the lottery 3 times in 2 days" I said still hanging upside down on his shoulder "Well, maybe i just like holding you" and then ladies and gentleman .... butterflies happened... oh boy.
We had a good 5 minute ride back to my house, where he held my hand, in which I tried to protest just to mess with him but inevitably gave in... I like it. When we pulled up, just like before Billy quickly got out of the car and had my door open in second, helping me out and walking me to my door with our fingers interlocked, I started for my door until i felt a tug of Billy pulling me back to him, I knew he was strong, but just one tug i was flying back to him, he had to catch me, in which our faces were once again within millimeters from each other "We gotta stop meeting like this" He said teasingly with his famous smile "I gotta tell you something" I slipped out "I know how to swim and I wasn't really drowning, I pretended to get your attention" I said entirely too fast, he chuckled "I know" I paused at what he said "You know?" I asked confused "Ya know Y/N, You are a terrible liar..... First off no one drowns in the 4ft end of a pool unless your 3, and second we may not have talked too often in school... but that doesn't mean I didn't notice you, You're the captain of the swim team, which is why i brought it up earlier today, so of course you know how to swim... I offered the swim lessons as joke.. and then you came and asked and..... I couldn't be happier you did" He said still holding me, I smiled and did a little excited hop "You noticed me?" I said a little too eager, he chuckled and looked away and then looked back "Theres no one like you Y/L/N" he said right before taking my chin lightly with his fingers and bringing me in for gentle but passionate kiss goodnight.
142 notes · View notes
jaedreaminn · 3 years
Text
At War or In Love?
Tumblr media
Word Count: 2.5k
Pairings: Haechan x Reader.
Theme: fluff, crack, hurt, comfort, angst, enemies to lovers, collegeau.
Characters: Donghyuck, Jeno, Mark, Taeyong, Ten, Renjun, Jaemin, Jisung «mentioned» Chenle.
Words Count: 2.5k
~~~
Donghyuck knew he was a cheerful boy. His cheerfulness was given to him by his mother who he lived with for the first five years of his life. He couldn't remember her face but he did remember her smile and bubbly attitude and it stuck with him even after he was seperated from her to live with the Lee's. To live with his father.
He's always been social and good with people so he couldn't understand why Mrs.Lee hated him so much. Nor could he understand why his brothers who he was so excited to meet never spoke to him, so he had simply assumed that talking inside the Lee house was forbidden. He barely remembers his early childhood, just glimpses of memories passed through his head. Memories like Mrs.Lee's glares and awful words, memories of yelling and crying but he wasn't sure where the crying was coming from, memories of being stuck with an awful Maths teacher who really didn't like him.
But those were just distant memories because the memories that stuck with him were sitting at the dinner table and eating with his brother's, his elder brothers taking care of him and pampering him, Marks red face when he would annoy the boy who no matter how mad he was would never push Donghyuck away.
He remembers growing up protected by Taeyong, Ten, Mark and Jeno from his awful step mother. She was the only person Donghyuck ever despised, he remembers how she was drunk and angry one day and she grabbed him by his arm and yelled at him, told him he wasn't supposed to exist, wasn't supposed to be loved. But she was also told him something that broke his eight year old self, she told him his birth mother had died.
He remembers crying into Tens arms bitterly and all of his brothers joining him, huddling together on Tens small bed to console him. That night when he had fallen asleep in his brothers arms he dreamt of his mother, his mother who smiled at him and told him he was loved and that he was ment to love and to always be happy and cheerful. And so he believed her.
He lived his life quite happily, shielded from his parents by his brothers, which he would grow up to appreciate.
He was cheerful and friendly and loving and got along with everyone. So he couldn't for the life of him understand why you made his blood boil so much.
"Y/n you're messing it up!" He yelled, frustrated but you only ignored him poking you tongue out from the side of your mouth as you concentrated on lining the border of your assignment with decorative tape.
"Do you think we're still in kindergarten?" He mocked you and without wavering your attention from the task at hand you spoke, "If we were in kindergarten I would be at peace and you wouldn't be here." And that angered him even more.
"Why did you follow me to uni" he grumbled under his breath sitting down next to you.
"Please you followed me here" you scoffed, handing over the assignment to him.
"Why did you even waste time decorating the first page of the script. It doesn't make sense and doesn't even add to our marks"
"One. It makes our script original-" "but isn't the story in it origna-" "TWO. It looks cute" you said with a grin plastered on your face and he looked at you and wondered how anyone could be so irritability adorable.
"Well if you're only going to stare at me weirdly I'm leaving" and you were gone before he even got a chance to say anything. Haechan sighed, looking at the cutely decorated cover page to the script the two of you worked on together. You really were stupid.
Before he knew it he found himself at lunch seated in between Mark and Renjun.
"Ugh I swear if this one doesn't turn our right I'm quitting" Renjun grumbled to no one in particular as he continued to work on his art assignment. Haechan sighed feeding the busy boy a sandwich and Mark rolled his eyes.
"What are you losers upto" Jeno asked, approaching the table with Jisung trailing behind him.
"I'm still in shock you're studying music and dance" Mark said taking a bite of his food.
"He says that everytime" Jisung rolled his eyes as he sat down.
"At the pace at which Jeno was going at I'm pretty sure Mark expected him to get into crime" A voice spoke and all the boys looked up to be greeted by a smiling Jaemin.
"Aren't you supposed to be on my side?" Jeno asked Jaemin with a pout and the other just laughed handing him a bottle of water.
"Please I love Mark more" the grinning boy said and Jeno being his dramatic self visibly deflated.
"Calm down there casanova Marks already got someone" Renjun said, eyes still on his painting.
"Where's Chenle?" Haechan then asked. "He's still stuck in the practice room, said his partner is being annoying" Jisung answered after he realised no one else was going to.
"Pft I know a thing or to about annoying partners" Haechan scoffed and everyone at the table sighed.
"Here we go again" Jisung said rolling his eyes and digging into his food.
"Again?"
"Oh please Haechan this happens everytime it's either y/n this or y/n that. You're obsessed" Renjun said banging his paint brush onto the table.
"What! That's not true" Haechan started to get defensive.
"Please the amount of tension between the two of you is crazy! Like just date already" Jeno laughed and now Donghyuck was very embarrassed.
"You're single ass should date first you've still not dated anyone after-" Donghyuck stopped himself immediately realising the words coming out of his mouth.
"That's my fault isn't it" Mark frowned.
"No!" Jeno said and then glared in Donghyucks direction, "No. I gave you my blessings it's okay I had to get over our relationship and I'm so happy for the two of you right now" Jeno said quickly and Mark frowned.
"But what if you had a chance.."
"Mark Lee you foolish fool if Jeno said he had no problem and literally encouraged you to date his ex then don't question it. Plus he's giving his all to music right now" Jaemin said patting Marks back.
"Hate to say this but Jaemins right, like Jeno could have easily killed you in his sleep of he had a prblem with you, we live in the same house remember?" Haechan added grinning and everyone faceplamed.
"Anyway moving on I've got a buisness class right now I'm going to run" Jaemin said getting up and leaving and Renjun jumped up cheering.
"Geez I didn't know you hate Jaemin hyung" Jisung the ever sassy said and Renjun looked at him confused before realisation dawned on him "Ahhh no I'm done with my drawing and I need to run too" Renjun said eyes widening as he noticed the time, grabbing his stuff and running off. They watched with a laugh how Renjun who was usually calm and graceful tripped as he ran out.
"Wait when did Jisung even leave?" Mark asked pointing to the empty seat. "Ungreatful brat" was muttered by Jeno.
"Are you guys secretly hanging out with y/n and lermimg disappearing trick from them?" Haechan asked and Mark and Jeno just gave him a look. "what?"
"Y/n again? I'm telling you you're obsessed" Jeno chuckled and Haechan chocked on his spit as he quickly got up and hurried away from his brothers teasing.
He was on his way to his locker when he spotted you laughing rather fakely to something a very attractive boy was saying. You laugh was a pitch higher than normal and Haechan almost snorted loudly. Almost. And you were most definitely flirting with that guy.
He approached you with a smile from behind, tapping your back and watching with utmost pleasure when you frowned.
"Is that a new laugh y/n weren't you snorting like a pig just today morning" he asked with a cheeky grin and you frowned.
"Shut up and leave" you said throught gritted teeth trying your best to keep calm.
"Oh c'mon I was just kidding" Haechan smiled and was about to wrap his arms around your shoulder when the boy you were talking to stopped him. He glared at the hand stopping his.
"I don't know who you are but you're making y/n uncomfortable so you got to leave" the boy said pushing Haechans hand away and grabbing onto your hand and pulling you away from Haechan.
Haechan stood there shocked at the boys actions for a second before snapping and pulling you back with so much force you fell onto his chest.
He glared daggers at the boy, his eyes threatening him. "Y/n and I have known eachother all I lives and now we've got a project to work on so don't suddenly interfere in the life of someone you know nothing about." Haechan said coldly, venom hidden behind each word of his and he dragged you away.
He was fuming, not realising where he was going until he was at the garden with you.
"Can you believe the nerve of that guy?" He scoffed but you didn't say anything head hung low. He immediately took notice of that.
"Y/n what's wrong?" He asked worried and thats when you looked up at him, eyes tired. "This has to stop" you pleaded and he didn't understand what you were saying.
"You did this back in school too. You were awful to me and hated me but the moment I was with someone other than you you'd make a big deal out of it and end up fighting with that person" you said said, voice breaking and tears glistening your eyes. Haechan was about to defend himself when you spoke again. "I'm so tired of whatever crap you're pulling Haechan, you were always sending me mixed signals in school and I let you take me for a ride but not again. I liked you but hated you. You made me angry but so happy. You pushed me away only to pull me back and I'm sick of it" the tears now made their way down you face as you cried and Haechan stood there feeling so guilty for making you cry.
"Y/n I'm so sorry I didn't mean to.."
"Of course you didn't mean to" a dry laugh escaped your lips, "but tell me, did you ever like me? Was this just entertainment for you? For when you were bored?" You asked with spite.
And suddenly everytime someone hinted at his weird obsession with you came back to him, "Look I don't hate you... Atleast I think I don't. Not that much I-" You scoffed cutting him off.
"It's either you like me or you don't stop playing with my heart this isn't funny" you said rather calmly but the anger visible in your eyes.
"I don't know...I don't think so" he could hear your heart break and somehow he felt like maybe, he was wrong.
"Then leave please leave" you said agressively wiping away the fresh tears falling down your face. He tried to comfort you but you raised you hand stopping him.
He sighed in defeat and began to walk away, head hung low. He felt bad for making you cry and wanted to see you smile. Just then the thought of you crying in that pretty boys arms crossed his mind and he felt and awful feelin at the pit of his stomach. Jealousy. He was jealous, he wanted to make you happy and he wanted to hold you as you cried, he didn't want you to look at other people lovingly, and he hated the thought of you kissing someone else so he immediately turned to you and grabbing you by your shoulders.
"Look y/n I want to believe I hate you but at the same time I hate when it's not me that makes you happy because I love making you smile, I love making you laugh, I love annoying you." He said eyes serious as you blankly stared at him.
"All I know is whatever is going on in my head, you're at the center of it and you're the only one that can help me figure out what my fixation with you is."
"That's stupid." you mumbled, looking away from his intense gaze and he smiled.
"Nothing's stupid in love and war y/n and right now I don't know if I'm at war with you" he paused and you looked up at him and he smiled at you fondly, "or in love with you."
You looked at him awe struck and he couldn't help but chuckle at how cute you looked, with eyes still shining from all the tears and your face flushed.
"Will you help me figure which one it is?" He asked, his tone hopeful and you thought for a while and nodded as he grinned happily. And you smiled.
"This might just be my own downfall" you started with a frown and then a very small smile made its way to your face, "But atleast then I'll know more than I know now."
Bonus:
"This is stupid he's in love with you" Jeno said with a frown and Haechan pouted as he watched you laugh.
"Ah y/n run away while you can, our hyucks really stupid to even think he hates you" Mark added and if you weren't holding his hand right now Haechan would have punched his brother.
"Oh so this is the infamous y/n" Ten said walking into the room with a smirk on his face and Haechan silently cried inside.
"We really need to leave" he said but you were at your antics again and said "no we don't we have plenty of time don't we" he swears he hates you but at the same time it was impossible to hate you when you smiled at him like that.
"Ohhh is this y/n Donhyuck?" Came his eldest brothers voice and this time Haechan did cry.
"Oh c'mon don't pretend to cry you love me"Taeyong said patting his back and you chuckled.
"No I love Mark" Haechan said glaring at the eldest who only chuckled, "What's with everyone's fixation on Mark?" Jeno asked and Ten rolled his eyes "You just don't see how adorable our Markie is because your Taeyongs pet"
"Hyuck this is your fault the name stuck!" Mark growled and you stood there watching the brothers argue with eachother, amused at their antics.
"Ahh this is what you'll be getting into if you associate with this family" A voice said behind you and you turned around to meet the person who was your senior in high school and the one that stole Tens heart.
"Wouldn't I be lucky if that was the case?" You asked but another voice spoke "Try being stuck babysitting five grown men" you turned to see the person you recognised as Marks partner.
"I will hit you!" Haechan yelled charging at Mark who had run behind Ten who was yelling at Taeyong for help who who was being held down by a sulky Jeno.
You shared a look with the two people beside you as the three of you broke out in laughter.
~~~
Lee brother's- A mini series
Previous Part: Lee Ten
Next part: Series Finale
73 notes · View notes
bee-s-honey · 3 years
Note
hiiiii!! i hope you’re doing well! 🥰 for your nature themed prompts can i request 🌧⛺️ + 🌷(pregnant)🥀(hurt/comfort) for chrollo? preferably with gn reader. thank you!!
Sure sounds good! Hope you're doing well too🥰
🌧️-raining
⛺-camping tent
🌷-pregnant
🥀-hurt/comfort
❥Prompts | ❥Masterlist
Set up: While pregnant with you and Chrollo's child, you got depressingly bored being stuck at the house, but it wasn't like you could exactly just go out for a mission either. Chrollo decided the best option was a peaceful camping trip with some of the troupe. Pakunoda, Phinks, Uvo, Shizuku, Shalnark, and Kortopi all have their tents set up and are enjoying their time outside but when you start feeling anxious at what having a child will do to everything and how it will change your lives Chrollo comes to the tent and stays talking with you
Baby is also just gn so it's reader preference fittable,
Tumblr media
The sound of the zipper was a relief. You'd been having thoughts you didn't want to be stuck with for a while before calling Chrollo's name from inside the tent. As embarrassing as it felt, Chrollo did say if you ever needed something to call for him, and you didn't doubt he would come at once. You knew he'd take your anxiety into more considerate comfort than you did.
"Hey, darling. What do you need?" He asked gently, settling beside you on the air mattress.
He moved the back of his hand to your face, ringed fingers moving over your cheek. You were tired of not talking, and even though you felt your worries were ridiculous you needed to speak to him and hear his thoughts, his voice alone being more than you could ask for.
"I just don't know how to feel right now." You admitted. Chrollo nodded. "I know," he said, "this is all...going to be new for a while. Things will change."
"And that's weird. You've never had to deal with a major change in this way."
You grabbed his hand in yours as you looked up. The glow on his face from the fire outside that shone through the tent flickered as drops of rain hit the area a few times. There was a quiet thunder rumble in the distance. Only a few taps of water hit the ground.
His eyebrows creased at your reply. A thoughtful smile forming and his lips pursing before answering. "Oh my love, don't worry about me. It's not like it's a burden, this is all a progressive move in life, a creation of course. I'm happy as long as you're with me, and I'll be happy with whatever change follows you."
"I don't want the fire to go out." you whined.
"I promise to make another in the morning if it's not raining. Now, don't change the subject."
You humored his claim and gave a sigh with your eyes weighing heavy. Now that you could, did you really have enough worries to speak about? You felt like the words for what you were feeling were leaving you as you attempted to explain them.
"Will the baby be involved with anything?" You finally asked. The question wasn't foreign in your conversations, but a new kind of tension arose when it was brought up so suddenly.
"Our lives? Involved in how we live? Of course but...not in a way they don't deserve. I'm not forcing my child to witness horrors so young. I'll never let them on a mission. I'd never put you or our baby in that kind of danger or trauma, but I'm not going to suddenly get a legal job, a small suburban house, and I'm never leaving the troupe."
"Good. I don't want you to, I don't want to. You got what I meant. It's just- it's really going to be hard figuring out how to live the way we want while raising a child to be the way we aren't."
"What do you mean? Darling, as much as I hate to say it like this, it's not about what's best for a kid it's about what's best for our kid. The luck about living a way normal people don't is that that is the only limit. We'll be able to keep them safe, I promise. We'll be able to teach them things better than any school. We won't hide them from what we do, nor will we act like it's divinely correct or normal whatsoever, but we won't hurt them with it."
While he was talking, he moved you so your head rested on his thigh and he could hold your jaw softly to make you look at him. "Do you think they'll like reading?" he asked, making you smile and chuckle a few times.
"Do you think they'll be sassy or sweet?" you asked back
"Which troupe members would they like more?"
"Ah, whichever one can entertain them the most I'm sure."
"Just like you?"
"Pft, I'm not like that."
You both maintained your eye contact the entire time you laughed about your curiosities. You'd had moments where you would stare into each other's eyes before, aiding the strength of that deep connection and inseparable love, but now it was so infinite. Chrollo's eyes, out of all the years, had never looked so warm.
"Promise this will all be ok?"
"I promise it'll be ok. Maybe not easy, but ok."
You gave a kiss to his palm, hearing the rain drops start to get faster. Multiple troupe members groaned and made a ruckus as they set up to go to bed for the night.
"I'm sure they can handle everything for tonight, I refuse to leave you now." Chrollo got up to get out of his clothes and buried himself in the blankets.
"Do you need anything?"
"No," you answered while feeling his hand rest over your stomach and his face bury in your neck, "I'm perfectly fine."
Tumblr media
Hello hello. I apologize if this was too short (also the speech was really long at parts) but I honestly didn't have a lot of ideas for this one! I tried my best and I hope you like it though :]
55 notes · View notes
youalexturnermeon · 3 years
Text
Warm Beer and Cold Women Pt.3 (Johnny Lawrence x Reader)
Part 1
Part 2
Request: Hi! I absolutely love your work and I was wondering if I could get a Cobra Kai Johnny imagine where the reader is a bartender and starts crushing on him since he’s a regular and he flirts with her all the time and she pretends to hate it but she actually loves it? by Anon
A/N: Before you read you should know that I adjusted the timeline a little, all mistakes in the timeline that you are noticing are on purpose. Also I decided to let johnny keep his black Cobra Kai car in that one. Then I’m perfectly aware of the fact that I lowkey drifted away from the actual request but don’t worry, I’m coming back to that. It’s the second last part to this little series. Enjoy.
Warnings: badass reader, drinking, DUI, swearing, ANGST, a little fluff
Wordcount: 2650
Tumblr media
"Jesus Christ, (Y/N), thank god you're finally here!" was the first thing you heard from Jenny as soon as you set foot into the bar for yet another late shift on a boring Thursday night.
"We've been waiting for you for hours!" Jenny said and grabbed your arm dragging you further inside. You were staggered, "What the fuck, Jen, I'm not even late, I know I was yesterday but I'm perfectly on time today! Look," you pointed towards a clock on the wall "8 pm sharp."
"Jesus, don't you ever check your phone?" she went on ignoring you. And as a matter of fact, you didn't. You trashed it a couple of days ago as a result of a drunk rage after another shift without your favourite regular. That's why you've been borrowing your colleague’s phone to call yourself an Uber home. But that was still not helping you understand why you were needed so much. Apparently, the bar was waiting for your arrival since the opening at last. In the distance, behind the almost empty counter you saw the staff door opening and Kenny making his way to you in a quick pace.
"She's is here!" Jenny called out to him as if he wasn't able to see that for himself.
"Finally."
"What the fuck?" you asked again, trying to think of all the things you could've done wrong in the past weeks, but you couldn't find any. You never messed up a drink, you always locked the doors, you even cleaned the puke in the men's bathroom. "Am I in trouble?"
Kenny shook his head, you looked at him quizzically.
"It's about your boyfriend," Jenny helped him out answering. You almost blurted out 'He's not my boyfriend' as it was already on the tip of your tongue because you were so deeply conditioned to say that. But when your glance skipped over the almost empty seats by the counter again, your heart suddenly skipped a beat and when it was back at keeping you alive it started beating so hard against your ribs as if it was about to burst. Johnny was back.
"He's been here since we opened at 5," Kenny said, sounding a little annoyed "He's drunk off his ass, came in drunk already, and refuses to leave until he sees you. We tried to throw him out but he's one persistent motherfucker and lowkey aggressive, muttering your name saying he needs to talk to you and nobody else."
"Yeah, maybe you should go and talk to him" Jenny affirmed. But you were already on your way. Without a word you almost stormed over.
At first you wouldn't have noticed him. He didn't look like himself, sitting there on his regular seat at the end, head hanging, covered by his hands. He looked rough.
The two weeks he didn't show himself, you almost started hating him. You thought him to be like any other man on earth who, after they broke you, finally got you to get soft towards them, waking your interest after hundreds of times trying, just disappeared without a trace. First you were blaming yourself, asking yourself if you went too far with your little game of pretend, whilst still waiting every day for him.  Had it been too much for him saving you the other day and getting his face bashed in for you? You wished he'd come and tell you what a bitch he thought you were to your face. Then you despised him for giving you up so quickly. But as soon as you laid eyes on him all these negative thoughts disappeared, and you were just concerned. Concerned about his condition, only the question inside your head how on earth you, a simple barkeeper, were able to help him with that. You grabbed a bottle of whisky and simply headed to the other side of the counter, not standing in front but sitting next to him this time. The worst about it, he didn't even take notice of you at first.
"Johnny," you said softly placing a hand on his arm. Like being electrocuted by this touch, he winced but finally looked up. You almost gasped at his appearance. Normally he was always clean shaven, now he looked like hadn't shaved in days. Besides that, he was also hurt. At first you thought his injuries might still be from his encounter with the three men that were bothering you, but the scratches and bruises were fresh, and a band aid was sticking to his forehead that wasn't needed before. Johnny blankly stared at you from his bloodshot eyes and you suddenly felt the urge to hug him. But you resisted, first you had to get him to talk. Instead, you grabbed two of the glasses in front of Johnny uncorked the bottle of whisky and poured you one. You took a sip of the burning liquid hoping for some courage to miraculously appear as you watched Johnny silently drinking, too.
Kenny walked by on the way back to his office, judgingly eyeing you.
"Damn, I have to start taking all the booze you're drinking here from your paycheck, (Y/N), slow the fuck down, would you?" he said sighing with one foot already inside. Out of a sudden Johnny snapped.
"Jesus Kenny, don't wet your precious leather pants," he shouted out, slamming his glass on the counter "I'm gonna pay for it! Let a girl enjoy her drink for once" Some heads turned in your direction.
You held still for a second and didn't dare to breathe, afraid of another fight to happen since normally Kenny didn't allow anybody talk to him like that. But he simply shook his head and closed the door behind him, muttering something like "This girl actually has to work here, but whatever" leaving you alone with Johnny.
"You look hot, as always," he said trying to smile, yet the smile didn't reach his sad eyes. He almost looked like he's been crying.
"And you look like shit."
"You mean that?" he gestured at his face noticing your gaze upon his massive black eye. You nodded.
"That's nothing."
"What happened, Johnny?" you asked but he did not answer and just kept on sitting in silence, sipping his drink from time to time. Then, after what seemed like forever, he finally looked you straight in the eyes.
"I fucked up, (Y/N), that's what happened, I fucked up big time."
"Tell me!"
"As if you give two shits about it, you probably wouldn't care. You fucking despise me and my sorry ass."
"I do care!"
“Nah, you wouldn’t!”
You sprung off your seat, you did not expect that coming out of his mouth, also it hurt to hear him say that, because you really did care about him! You probably cared about him more than anything in your life at the moment. But if he was going to be a bitch to you so were you.
“Well, don’t waste my fucking time then!” you exclaimed “And stop annoying everyone that you need to see talk to me instead of fucking off. I can gladly leave you all by yourself so you can keep on pitying yourself. Nice seeing you, jerk!”
And you were about to storm off, go back to pretending to work just like you did every other day when there was nothing else to do, when you instantly heard a “(Y/N), wait!”
You turned around and saw Johnny, now more miserable than ever, showing at your seat inviting you to sit back down. You swallowed your pride and did so.
“I’m sorry,” he said “I just can’t believe that someone would actually give a shit about me at all. And I did want to talk to you, I still do. You’re the only one I want to see right now.” “Then tell me what’s going on.”
“There’s this kid,” he started sighed and stopped, then took another sip of his whisky and began again “I have a dojo in a strip mall, I’m a sensei,” “What’s that?” you blurted out before you could stop yourself and you felt stupid. Johnny looked at you, completely staggered, forgetting his pain for a moment. Proving you that it was in fact a probably very stupid question.
“It’s a Karate place, I teach Karate there.”
“Go on.”
“I have a shit ton of nerds that I teach but they’re mostly good kids, they got bullied a lot before, but I helped them, I showed them how to kick ass, so no one dares to fuck with them anymore. There’s this one kid, Miguel, I’ve been teaching him since the beginning, he actually gave me the idea to open a dojo, he begged me to and he’s a great kid, he really grew on me. He lives next door with his mom and grandma, they’re great people, Mexicans. I even learned a bit of Spanish from them. And I’ve been hanging out a lot with him lately. I really, really liked him.”
He rubbed his eyes and stopped talking.
“What do you mean you liked him?” you asked carefully and studied Johnny’s face that he covered with his hands again.
“There’s more to the story. There’s another dojo in town, fucking Miyagi-Do. Of course, you can’t expect only one dojo to be there in L.A but how I wish that at least that one wouldn’t exist. The sensei is a twat. I fucking hate this guy. And his kids started fighting with my kids at school and not like throwing some punches at each other and leaving it be after somebody starts crying. No, they started a fucking Karate War at school. I mean, I get it, when I was their age I also took Karate way too seriously but letting it go this far? I don’t know, I can’t really understand that. It got out of hand real quick two weeks ago.”
“Fuck, did something bad happen?” you wondered and poured yourself and Johnny another whisky.
He nodded and stared into the distance. You waited for him to answer.
“There was a fight two weeks ago and apparently it got really bad. Miguel got kicked off a balcony at school, he fell two stories deep, spine-first onto a handrail.” You gasped. You school also had problems with fighting, a lot to be precise but as far as you knew, no one got kicked off from somewhere.
“He’s been in a coma now for two weeks and they say that the chances of waking up from a coma after two weeks are pretty miserable. He might as well be dead by now.”
“It’s gonna be fine,” you said although not knowing shit about coma, you just wanted t comfort Johnny. You could not stand seeing him so broken you even wished he would go back to his old nature again, hitting on you, joking and just having a good time “He’s probably going to wake up soon and go back to Karate again.”  
“You don’t know that!” Johnny said raising his voice, “He broke his fucking spine, (Y/N), even if he wakes up, he’s probably going to be crippled for his whole life.”
He took a deep breath and drank his whisky at once, grunting at the burning feeling in his throat.
“And now my own kid is in fucking juvie for kicking Miguel of a railing and he won’t even talk to me!”
“Wait, you have a kid?” you wondered and stared at Johnny wide-eyed, not knowing what else to say, this was surely a surprise for you. And Johnny went on with his rant.
“Yeah, Robby, he’s 17. But that doesn’t matter now, does it? He’s locked up, doesn’t want to hear a word from me, but that’s okay,” his voice was cynical, you could hear how much despised himself right in the moment and it was painful to see.
“I’ve been a shit father anyways, right? Every single day of his life I’ve been failing him. I wasn’t around much. I did nothing to keep him out of trouble. If so, I only made it worse, I only pushed him to train with Miyagi-Do and what happened to Miguel is all on me.” Despite calming himself down with a drink, Johnny’s voice got louder with every word he spoke. Again, heads were turning towards you, but you didn’t care.
“It’s not your fault what happened,” you said calmly and placed a hand on his shoulder, he was so tensed that you might as well have been touching a stone. And Johnny shook your hand of and let out a hateful laugh.
“Not my fault?” he shouted his lungs out “Who else’s fault is it then? Of course, it is mine. It is all on me, I fucked up. I fucked up both Robby’s and Miguel’s lives and on top of that mine’s not that great either. I spent the night in a fucking cell.”
“Calm down, Johnny,” you said softly and finally went in for a hug “It’s going to be okay; I promise!”
“No, it’s not!” he yelled as you wrapped your arms around him tightly pressing yourself against his trembling chest. At first, he let his arms sink and didn’t do anything, he kept on shouting, making even more heads turn towards all the noise, but then suddenly he buried his scrubby face into crook of your neck and sighed, finally placing his hands on your back, finally relaxing, firmly embracing you. You could’ve stayed like that for ever.
“C’mon, (Y/N), get him out of here!”, you suddenly heard Kenny who stood there, arms crossed, watching you, “He’s scaring off the people.”
You released Johnny from your hold who went back to staring down the counter whilst burying his face in his rough hands, just the way you have found him.
“Yeah, alright, I’ll bring him home.”
“Yeah, sure, feel free to come back to work whenever you’re ready, no rush. Or maybe you want to do home office instead?” said Kenny sarcastically and you rolled your eyes.
“C’mon Kenny, I can’t let him go home like this alone, he’ll kill himself on the way. Besides, he’s probably the reason this place still hasn’t gone bankrupt. And I’m the reason he keeps coming, so maybe we owe him that?”
The big biker in front of you didn’t look too happy but he knew you were right, still, he wasn’t that easy to convince.
“Come on,” you said putting on your best puppy eyes, trying to look all cute because you knew the old man liked you deep inside “I’ll do double shift tomorrow, I promise. But just please let me go.”
Kenny stood motionless.
“Please?”
“Alright, alright, I’ll cover for you. But if you don’t come in early tomorrow…” “I know, I know, you’ll fire me” you finished his sentence and smiled at him.
Then you nudged Johnny who was not getting any of the conversation you just had and told him about your plan about getting him home. He stood up and he clearly wasn’t very strong on his feet. He was swaying from side to side on the way out.
“Okay, give me your keys, Johnny,” you said when you arrived at his black dodge. Normally you would have made fun of the yellow stripes and snakes all over, but you weren’t in the mood for it.
“I think I remember you telling me that you don’t have a license anymore and that you’re not willing to get involved into DUIs anymore.” And yet he submissively handed you over his car keys. You shrugged and got in the car, waiting for him to take the shotgun seat.
“I guess we all have to make exceptions sometimes. Now concentrate and lead me the way.”
“Thank you” Johnny said, his voice now all raspy and he suddenly looked tired “Now you are saving my ass.”
**************************************************************************************
PART 4
Already working on part 4 whether you like it or not, I’m too invested in that one
Sorry to all waiting for their requests to be written, I’ll soon be on it
Thanks for reading!
Taglist: @lililolli​ (you want to be on the taglist, too? drop me a message)
130 notes · View notes
romeulusroy · 3 years
Text
Being Pollys Long Lost Child Would Include: (Part #1)
Tumblr media
Showing up the Small Heath with nothing but a suitcase and a vague idea of where to go
You actually run into your cousins/brother before you even know who they are on the way there
Breaking through their group right down the middle, unaware of who the Peaky Blinders are
A few yell or tease, but you don't care, not when it's this important
Telling Michael to fuck off when he makes a comment about how rude you are, unaware he's actually your brother
Still, you won't let those assholes ruin your big day
Staring down the front door
What does someone say in a situation like this?
Sorry I didn't visit sooner, I never knew you existed? Did you ever give up a child so many years ago looks like you? Do you have any kids?
You barely knocked twice before the door swung open
You weren't sure who to picture. . . . the woman all those people described seemed like a million women. . . Sometimes she was a mastermind, other times a drunk, she could be feared or admired, smart or stupid. . .
Instead all you saw were her big brown eyes and look of distrust
"Yes?"
"Are you, uh. . . did you. . . I'm y/n, I think you might be my mother."
The statement comes out stuttered and flunky, but it's strikes her none of the less, leaving her quiet for a moment
Anna was dead, Michael had come home, but they never found her baby
She couldn't let herself get her hopes up, knowing anyone could have set you up to this now that business was growing and so was their list of enemies, but she couldn't deny you if it really was true
Against her own judgement, she let's you in before anyone sees you
She knew she shouldn't have, but when you're sitting there, before her, she can picture all the times you were a baby
How your features matched, though of course that had been a long time ago, maybe she was just making it up to match for her own good
She thought about you every day, about the life you could have lead, the person you would have become, it made her sad, but hopeful, the same way she felt when she thought about Anna
You let her look, and after a while, she spoke up
"What did you say your name was?"
It's not the name her baby had, but you were so young, she figured they could have renamed you the way Michael's parents had
You found yourself telling her everything, talking before you could stop yourself or even realize what you were saying, wanting to unveil something that would convince her you were hers
From your parents, to your siblings, your grades in school and all the detentions you'd gotten, the friends you made and the hobbies you had
You never told anyone about all the times you felt different, strange, like you didn't quite fit in, and yet you were telling a complete stranger all of it and more
It wasn't until you mentioned your baby blanket, the one you'd actually brought with you, did it catch her attention
That was one thing your parents neglected to change
Polly was the one to sew the holes in it, passing it down from your siblings to you, she recognized her own stitching
Suddenly you're in her arms, being called another name
You found her, you found your mother
If Polly could have kept you for herself, she would have, knowing the kind of world you were walking into, the dangers you would face by associating yourself with her
In return, she tells you about your brother and sister, stories about you as a baby, memories coming back before she can stop them
The time your sister dressed you up and pretended you were one of her dolls, when your brother thought he could trade you in for a puppy
Like Michael, you're thrown into the family before you know what's going on
The boys burst through the door, all of them talking at once, interrupting your time together
"What are you doing here?" You question, recognizing Michael
"Me? Who the fuck are you?" The two of you look to your mother and Polly knows, just by your fighting, you're her baby
Being introduced to an army of relatives all at once
Your cousins are welcoming, friendly, the oldest ones laughing, teasing about how chubby you were as a baby
Your attitude towards your brother doesn't change, he's a pain in the ass already, but you'd never had an older sibling before, you figured he wasn't the worst of the worst, right?
Besides, you barely know one another, you hope it'll get better the more you get to know one another
It doesn't take her long to explain the business
You're curious, and observant, two things that work in your favor and against your mothers
You're not naive either
Sure, you didn't grow up with any of this, and though your parents tried to shelter you, you always knew where to find trouble
The way they cling to one another, how the crowds disperse, the mere mention of your family name, the gleam from their caps, this was not the kind of business one would brag about being part of, at least not in the company of others
You weren't stupid
Still, Polly tries to keep you away, at a distance, as do the rest of your family
You're still a kid in their eyes, but you make that pretty hard
It becomes clear what your parents were trying to hide from you, protect you from, but you weren't scared like they were, you were fascinated
It also becomes clear how easy you fit into it all, becoming a shadow to your mother, your brother, anyone who will let you follow and watch until you show them just how much you've learned
This lifestyle was dangerous and addictive, and like the rest of your family, you understand the appeal, much to your mother's dismay
Eventually she lets you in, let's you practice shooting a gun with your brother, go to the bar with your cousins, sit in on family meetings
Her one rule is that you are never, under any circumstances, alone
You take to the lifestyle quite easy despite her fears
The feeling you've always had where you never could quite fit in with your family, your siblings, even the kids around you, it all went away
Being paired up with Finn a lot since you two are the youngest
You don't mind all the time though
He teaches you a lot of tricks with his brothers, the other blinders, ways to get people to listen to what he has to say, share all their secrets
You prove yourself not only worthy of the Gray name, but also your place in the business as well
You don't quite idolize Thomas as much as your brother does, and when you can't bite your tongue any longer, it can get you into trouble
Luckily, your mother is always ready to stick up for you
She catches herself calling you by the name she gave you, and though you're not quite ready to take it, you know she means well
"Fuck off, Michael."
"I'm telling mum you said that."
"Snitch."
Fighting with your brother becomes normal, not all out of hatred anymore, but a constant, dull annoyance
You begin to find your place here, in the job, the family, everything
Part of you hates to admit that you don't miss who you used to be, who you thought you were going to be
Your parents knew you were smart, but they always assumed you'd live a life like theirs, one of safety, predictability, a life that was boring
Here, you had a life of excitement, danger, one that kept you on your toes, where moving up in the world was something to work towards, not just dream of
Polly knew what you were leaving behind, and she wouldn't have stopped you or blamed you if you decided to turn back, but it was the happiest day of her life when you knocked on that door
You were giving her the second chance she always wanted
Your parents, on the other hand, are anything but happy
You call home a few times, assuring them you miss them, you're thinking of them, you might visit, and that you're happier than ever, but your parents know something is up
Word spreads quick in a small place like yours
Rumor spread you'd run off with a secret partner, skipped town after getting into trouble again, joined the circus
The more time that passed, the crazier they became
But your parents knew
They should have suspected you were lying from the beginning, that you were after the one thing you' d always asked about, that you figured out all along what they'd kept secret. . . . .
Now they regretted not seeing it before
It takes a little while for them to figure out where you went, where Polly ended up, but they found you again, and they were coming to bring you home once and for all
A/N: Ahhh okay I know I kinda left it on a cliffhanger!!! I hope this part was as good as the first!!! There might be a third idk yet :P
91 notes · View notes
bettsfic · 3 years
Note
hi betts. so, last year basically destroyed my ability to work on academic research/projects and my "productivity" (quotes heavily emphasized). in theory, i forgive myself for that, because fuck 2020. but now that i'm getting started again, every time i find something cool or useful to moving forward, i'm haunted by the thought that i should have found this/read this last year. any tips on combating feeling like its too late or you've wasted so much time?
i don't think "too late" is a real thing. it just means you have to take a different road. looking back, the only thing i was ever too late about was becoming a high school teacher, and even then it still kind of worked out. i didn't know i wanted to be a teacher until i already had an undergrad degree in something else and was partway through a masters. in ohio, it's basically impossible to become a public school teacher without an undergrad and masters degree in education, and i didn't have the time or money to go back and do that. private school in ohio is also a tough gig. but in other states, in other countries, it's not so hard. and in my case, i chose another field entirely. as long as i'm teaching, i'm happy, and thankfully there are plenty of ways to do that.
i'm also in my thirties and i want kids, but that goal is nowhere in sight. so one day it might be too late to have a biological child, but i'd also love to adopt.
so, there is no too late. you get there when you get there. and sometimes you only stay there for a while before moving on to something else. humans are restless like that.
now on to "wasting time."
i've been thinking a lot about how identity and behavior are cyclical. i write, therefore i am a writer. but also, i'm a writer, therefore i must write. when i don't write, that identity which is so important to me feels threatened, even though i know objectively this is fraught thinking.
take my best friend, for example. he has devoted his entire life to d&d and video gaming. a productive day for him is one during which he plays 10+ hours of a good game. when i play a game for 10+ hours, i feel like i've wasted the entire day. i haven't made anything. i haven't contributed to anything important to me.
conversely, if i spend an entire day reading, i feel very fulfilled. i'm a writer, therefore i must read. reading a good book is extremely productive to my writing. my best friend, however, has never voluntarily read a book in his life. to him, forcing himself to sit down and read would be the most tedious and boring thing imaginable. he's a gamer, therefore he plays games. a day not playing games is a day wasted.
what both of us have in common, however, is the belief that work is a waste of time, because neither of us function very well in "real jobs." he's a custodian at a high school and it eats significantly into his gaming time, even though he does a job that is absolutely necessary to society, especially in a pandemic. back a couple years ago when i tried to get a normal full-time job, i remember i worked late one day, until 10pm, and i thought, wow i wasted a whole day. i could have been writing and reading and cooking and other things i love.
most people who are happy with their employment situation feel productive after a long day. they identify as whatever their job is, so anything that reinforces that identity feels good. even though i hated banking, i identified as a banker, and it was still hard to set that identity aside when i quit.
there are many people who would have seen my career in finance as "productive" because i'm contributing something important to society, disregarding the fact that everything in my job description was a detriment to society. those same people might believe that my switch to writing and teaching is unproductive, because i'm not contributing anything necessary to society, not acknowledging that i've helped more people find happiness and comfort with my fanfiction than anything i ever did in a cubicle. moreover, my actual job for which i get paid is to teach 19 year olds critical thinking and literacy skills. i can't imagine anything more important than that. but someone else, my students even, might see the class i teach as a waste of time.
anyway. in an ideal world we would all be left alone to do the work that's important to us, whether it's fic writing or gaming or astrophysics or construction work. but it's not an ideal world. it's a world where sometimes we get conscripted into situations not conducive to our interests and growth. we're conscripted into terrible, meaningless jobs. we're conscripted into student loan debt and rent that's too high. this last year, we were conscripted into our homes, to abide by the CDC guidelines, for the betterment of society. like being drafted in a war, years were taken from us. lives were taken from us.
i can only hope that if we're lucky enough for things to get better going forward, we can look back on 2020 as a bad year we all collectively faced, knowing nothing that happened was in our control.
39 notes · View notes
illyaana · 3 years
Text
4 to 10 - Sugawara Koushi
Tumblr media
credits to @kvsagi for the Suga art!
Tags: Timeskip! Sick Suga x Doctor! Reader, No Specific Gender for Reader, Angst
Synopsis: Suga has been diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis ever since he was 18, a few days after he graduated from high school. He works as an author in the hospital room he currently lives in. When he was 26, you entered the hospital as an official resident doctor and you were assigned to him.
In the beginning, it was just wheezing. After serving a ball to the ace, Suga just needed a few minutes to breathe air back into his system - nothing else.
It slowly became long nights of consistent coughing. It was just a dust allergy - nothing more. Almost all his family members had it - his allergic reactions were just stronger.
It became shorter hours of practice and any forms of exercise. His lungs were just weaker than the rest of the team's. It didn't mean that he was not as skilled as them - he just had to work more efficiently - more success, less time.
Then came the first lung infection.
Then the next.
Then the next.
Then the next.
It was no longer something he could just write off anymore.
Then came the tests; one sweat test and one genetic test.
The next time people saw him, he carried a bag connected to a tube that was in his nose.
He could still live his life normally - he just needed regular checkups. The only thing he needed to do was keep his distance, keep clean and not mess up.
That's all he needed to do, right?
The attacks got worse and worse.
His lungs became so fragile the slightest amount of dust or germ could kill him.
If he wanted to live, he needed to live in the hospital.
Until his clock stopped working, he needed to stay in the white walls of the Hospital of Tokyo forever - and that is what he did.
For the next 8 years of his life, he stayed in the hospital as a 'permanent resident' and lived peacefully.
His life consisted of college online, eating, studying, cleaning his lungs, talking with the other 'permanent residents' or just 'guests', playing with kids in the pediatric ward and sleep.
That was his life - and he didn't hate it.
He soon graduated from college and university and became an author - a well-known one, may I add.
He still talked to his friends from high school - Daichi and Asahi being common visitors with the occasional visit from Kageyama and Hinata.
This was his life until his life ended.
But all that changed when you came into the hospital for the first time.
Sugawara was never one to eye at the doctors or the nurses in the hospital - he believed that it was irrational and very wrong. Yet, you somehow changed his mind almost instantly.
He couldn't muster the bravery to even welcome you on your first day by himself, despite everyone who knew him literally pushing him to do so.
He begged all of the nurses to introduce him to you, but they all wanted him to do it by himself.
"Staring at our newest doctor, huh?" said Sugawara's doctor, Hizashi Yamada from behind him.
"You want me to introduce you to them?" He asked, smiling deviously.
Soon, Suga's doctor brought him to meet you, despite all of Suga's resistance to it.
"Hello, Y/N-sensei. Welcome to the Hospital of Tokyo. It is a pleasure to have someone so well-versed in our hospital as a permanent doctor," said Hizashi-sensei.
He placed his hand out, only for you to shake it. "No need for the praises, Yamada-sensei. The fact you recognized me is a privilege itself."
"This," Yamada-sensei pulled Suga forward, "Is Sugawara Koushi. He has been admitted to our hospital ever since he was eighteen."
Suga blushed furiously.
He wasn't ready to meet you up close so quickly. He wanted to admire you from afar for at least another two more days so that he could learn about your interests, but fate wasn't on his side this time.
Not to mention, you were a doctor, too! One of the younger ones, too... and hotter...
Suga awoke from his daze when he saw your gloved hand reach out to his to give him a handshake. "Pleasure to meet you, Sugawara-san. I believe you are an author? My sister loves your books!"
Suga was internally thanking Daichi for telling him to become an author.
Suga raised his hand to meet yours in a handshake. "The pleasure is all mine."
"As you both know, I am retiring this year," Yamada-sensei said, making both you and Suga face him.
"I've discussed with the board. Y/N-sensei, you'll be in charge of Suga starting tomorrow. I will send all the information about his condition soon," He ended off with a smile.
Wait - you were in charge of him?
Suga was shaking even more now.
It would no longer be Yamada-sensei seeing the uglier side of him but the very person he was developing a crush on.
"Fate works in mysterious ways, huh?" you said, breaking Suga's train of thought.
"I guess it was good I met you today then, Sugawara-san," you ended with a cheerful smile.
"I leave myself in your care then, Y/N-sensei," Suga said while bowing to you.
"Just call me Y/N. I think you're older than me, anyway," you said, laughing a bit. "I'll see you tomorrow!"
You walked towards the nurses that were calling you, leaving an extremely red Sugawara in the middle of the foyer.
The next day stood as a challenge for the silver-haired male.
He was going to act as good as he can so that your job could be as simple as it can be - no cheeky comments, no playful jokes.
Just being a boring, normal patient for the few hours you'd be in his room.
Well, that resolve almost failed immediately when you came in and begged for a conversation with him.
"It's too quiet for me to work properly, Sugawara-san. I know you think that keeping the room quiet helps, but the tension in the room is a bit too strong for me to work normally," you said, aching for some noise to come out of him.
But he didn't say anything - not even a noise.
"If you don't say anything in the next few minutes, I am going to begin talking a bit too much and trust me, you don't want that."
You turned to prepare the machine to remove the excess mucus in his lungs.
"You can call me Suga-san if you want," Suga whispered, scared to speak as loud as he usually does.
You chuckled and turned to face him. "I was going to call you Koushi-kun, whether you liked it or not."
"So, Koushi-kun," you started, "where and when does this author's life begin?"
He chuckled softly. "I was actually born in Miyagi. I was a replacement setter for the volleyball team in my school. Then again, I played a few times even when our main setter was there."
"What school?"
"Karasuno."
You opened your eyes in shock. "Wait - you were part of the Karasuno's volleyball team that went to nationals back then!"
He stared at your wonder-filled eyes and smiled. "Yeah, I was."
"So you know Hinata Shoyo and Kageyama Tobio? The Japan players?"
Pride swelled in him when he heard those two names. "Yeah, I do. I actually taught Hinata the basics."
"You've done well, my friend," you said, earning a laugh from the 26-year old.
And that small conversation began the long conversations you both had when you were doing long hours in the hospital.
After handling other patients, you'd often spend time with Koushi in his room with the pretence of 'I'm his doctor - it's my duty to be with him most of the time.'
But that was far from the truth, wasn't it?
You were developing feelings for your own patient.
How could you not fall for him?
Behind the beautiful exterior of his was a man of true beauty itself.
He was a hard worker - spent most of his time working on his new project.
He was kind - helped the nurses with managing the kids in the pediatric ward when they went for their lunch break.
He was the ideal man for anyone.
Time passed and you had been taking care of the former setter for the past two years.
He introduced you to his friends - Asahi, Daichi, Kageyama and Hinata, if you remember correctly - when they came over.
They soon became close friends of yours too - despite your fangirling over the Japan volleyball players. They often spent hours on end with Suga in his room.
All of you enjoyed the small talks you all had together and talked about the things happening in the outside world - be it a small injury or someone's wedding.
"Y/N-san, what about you? Are you in a relationship?" the orange-haired man asked, a small yet beaming smile on his lips.
You instantly blushed and looked at Sugawara. His eyes focused solely on you, taking you in.
"I've been single my whole life. I don't think I'd be getting into a relationship soon, too. The doctor's life doesn't really revolve around romance, despite all the TV shows and movies," you ended, earning snickers from almost everyone in the room.
"How about the rest of you? Is there a conquest of love happening in your lives?" you asked. Now my turn to grin.
Both Kageyama and Hinata stared at one another, faces beet red.
Koushi sighed. "Why can't you both just tell that you're a couple? We all knew ever since high school."
"How did you all know?" Kageyama shouted. You immediately shushed him, earning a small 'sorry' from him.
"You both aren't quiet in the storage room, you know?" Daichi said. Everyone except the couple began laughing hysterically.
"Damn, the money I'd get if I leaked this to the news," you jokingly said, teasing the two players.
When the clock showed 8pm, you pushed the four of the visitors out of Suga's room.
Their time had ended and they needed to head home.
Once they left, you felt a tug on your doctor's coat. You saw Koushi asking you back into the room, not ready for you to leave yet.
"Is everything okay?" You asked him, worried about his health.
"Do you feel like there isn't enough oxygen in your tank? I can always get you a replacement right now-" Koushi placed his finger on your lips.
"Please, just listen to what I have to say," he asked, his eyes begging you to listen to him.
You closed the door behind the two of you. He pulled you to sit beside him on his bed.
"I know I don't have much time left. I already had 10 years after diagnosis when the norm is 4," he said, chuckling.
You wanted to intervene - hell, the sentence was already prepared in your head - but you didn't. From what it looked like, he wanted you to just accept whatever he had to say.
"My drive to write is long gone - I can barely write a sentence I like anymore. I love playing with the kids, but I feel like I would just disturb them rather than entertaining them. I - I feel my life slipping away from my fingers, Y/N..." he said, tears forming around his eyes.
"Yet, when I see you walk along the halls of the hospital, I feel re-energized. I only met you two years ago, but I already am so dependant on you - and not just as a doctor. You are the only thing that makes me want to get up in the morning. You are the only thing I think of when I fall asleep. You are..." he gripped on your wrist, "the only thing I want right now."
"Koushi-kun..."
"I love you, Y/N. I didn't want you to leave today without knowing this. I love you so much - as a doctor and as a person."
You hugged the male in front of you, letting his tears fall on your jacket.
"I know you can't reciprocate my feelings, but I just needed you to know."
You gripped on his shirt.
This was the only man you've ever wanted, but you could never have him.
You held your tears back as you walked out of his room.
The next day was just a blur.
The mucus in his lungs built up at an extremely fast pace.
A severe infection formed in his lungs.
You rushed from your apartment to the hospital to conduct surgery as fast as you could.
Luck, however, wasn't on your side.
In the midst of the surgery, the electrocardiogram flatlined.
Sugawara Koushi was pronounced dead at 3:45 am at the Hospital of Tokyo on the 19th of December in the year 2022.
I hope you enjoyed the fanfic! As always, if you have ideas or tropes you'd like me to try, don't hesitate to leave a suggestion here! Thanks for all the reblogs and the likes too! <3 If you want to learn about Cystic Fibrosis, I watched this video and it helped me in understanding the science part of it~
19 notes · View notes
Text
Fanfic Review
Thanks for tagging me @pixieposts ! 💖 I will tag @roaldseth @dxrkblaze @aurora-boring-alis and @spoiler1001 ! 💖
How many works do you have on Ao3?
11
What's your total Ao3 word count?
35,807
How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?
Technically 4 but I haven't posted everything I have written on my Ao3; Devil May Cry, Sonic, Miraculous, and a bit of Over the Garden Wall with my DMC AU with it.
Are there any new fandoms you want to write for?
Hmmm, not sure. I used to be into RWBY and I wouldn't mind writing a bit for that. And I also used to be really into Teen Titans as a kid and I wouldn't mind trying my hand at writing for it.
What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
1. Kyrie's Frustration (a one off fic where Kyrie is two seconds from murdering Vergil)
2. A Ring Comes Full Circle (originally a one off but turned into a bit of a series following the return of Sparda and the wedding of Nero and Kyrie)
3. A Father in a Friend (a one off fic that's a Father's Day piece I wrote about Dante and Patty)
4. The Story of the Life I Wished I Had Lived: Journal of Vergil (a fic following a different story of the events that could have happened instead starting from around the same time as the tragedy)
5. Devil May Cry Anime Analysis Notes (basically exactly what it says lol, it's a log of notes I took while watching the anime)
Which fics do you want more attention for?
Honestly I'm just happy when people look at my work and tell me they enjoy it. And tbh it shocks me people like my work, but it feels good to see others like it.
Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
It depends on the comments. I don't typically get left comments a whole lot, but when I do get them, I will try to respond!
What sorts of things do you normally write?
Lot of AUs, Fluff, and Angst stuff tbh
What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?
Not necessarily an ending but Jesus A Devil's Silver Tears chapter of A Ring Comes Full Circle was pretty much some of the most angst I have written.
What's a fic that pushed you out of your comfort zone?
There was a kinda strange request I took one time for prompts in relation to Miraculous on here, and honestly I still don't really get what they were on about. It was an anon one too so it is kinda sus.
Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
Growing up I kinda had a everyone is here type thing going on that I only wrote for sometimes. Basically take all of the fandoms I post about on here and even some I don't post about.
Have you ever had a fic translated?
I don't think so??? I would be honored if any of my stuff was though.
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Nope, but I would be open to doing it!
What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?
I think a lot of my works will probably go unfinished due to this being my last year of college and due to going into teaching soon. I want to keep writing, but Idk if I will have time to.
What are you currently working on?
Basically all of the works that I have worked on rn are on hiatus because of being busy with school and me kinda being burnt out. I want to write more again, but a bunch of things have just taken their toll on me.
What are your writing strengths?
I don't really know, I feel like I am pretty good with characterization though, but I don't think it's anything to marvel about.
What are your writing weaknesses?
Basically everything if I am honest. I have always been pretty harsh on myself in terms of things though, but I feel like I am a wreck when it comes to anything I post.
What was the first fandom you wrote for? Most recent?
Sonic the Hedgehog; I wrote a BUNCH of stuff as a kid, and I still hold the Blue Blur and friends close to my heart. The most recent fandom that I started actually posting fics and stuff for though was Devil May Cry.
What's your favorite fic you've written?
I really love my Fairytale-esq/Royalty AU Symphony of Love! It follows Nero (the heir to the demonic throne of what was once Fortuna) and Kyrie (a by night vigilante) in their journey to figuring out the truth behind the murder of Nero's grandparents and falling in love along the way.
What fic are you most proud of?
Hmmmm, I'm not sure. I don't really know if any of my works are all that good, and Idk which I would be most proud of.
2 notes · View notes
kyunsies · 3 years
Note
madch madch <3 hello love!
how are you my love :D YAY I'M SO HAPPY YOUR COLD IS GONE OMG!! Do you feel properly better now? the sleep nose cloggs is the worst, i'm super glad it's gone for you.
YES for a whole month - like it makes me miss summer holidays when i was a kid and you could take the time off like that. do you ever feel like you didn't appreciate that stuff like when you were a kid? like being able to have long sleeps and stuff or just running about the mall with no consequence? we really do have the same situation going on! i just want to be able to buy my mum a better house and a better car and nicer holidays and stuff? like that small stuff which sounds a bit boring but like, idk that means more to me than the overly flashy stuff? like i'd love to be a mum one day but seeing how much my mum does sometimes i'm like... IDK if I could hack it you know?
ah wow ok! my school i really get what you say about catholic guilt as it's super similar from my cultural influences as well? YES like, it's bad to think too well of yourself, or just that you shouldn't do it? or you're gonna end up inviting bad things if you do think too much of yourself? i get really confused about it sometimes. like - almost like there's a difference between self love and thinking too well of yourself? and i can appreciate myself without ever thinking i'm too good at something etc? does that make sense? idk i'm worried about self love it if means it makes my ego bad and over arrogant and all that stuff? I GET YOU tho - it is that line between contentment and like feeling yourself to the point it's ... ick? it's hard isn't it?
THAT FACT STEALING TOILET PAPER WAS YOU USING BAD LANGUAGE omg do you see what i mean you are just so so so so pure of heart and sweet and thank you for being so kind <3 are you looking forward to going back to uni in some ways? or is it all general *internal screaming*? remember you're mega and amazing <3
omg we literally had a HUGE HEARTWAVE to the point where I have so many bites everywhere - i'm glad you've had a bunch of sun but YAY TINY TINY SQUAD!!!!!!! I AM 5'1" so yay to us being tiny together <3 I am always the tiny one too! i used to hate it but i like my height more now - and like the fact i can fit into kids stuff on sale? or like shoe sizes not being a problem? but then sometimes the sizing is a bit weird like you said before! YOU GET IT WITH THE BF JEANS. It is a neverending quest RN. I've figured out the size I can really get for them but so few stores make it :/ we will see how this saga unfolds. do you lampshade a lot with clothes? i find i always end up doing that even if i don't mean to haha XD
OKAY SO JO MALONE I like the smell of pomegrante noir but IDK if I'd wear it but the lime and basil is another fave of mine. I just really really don't like musky smells I'm with you with the citrus! like, stuff that reminds me of summer and fresh stuff? musk makes me feel like i'm walking into like a noughties teen clothing store i just can't hasjdakshd. like i hate lynx smells? WHY DO BOYS WEAR IT?
AHHHH OMG ok mutual blue moon love YES HELLO <3 <3 <3 I ADORE lofi jazz garage I honestly die/simp for that sound. like they dabbled a bit more with those vibes in OOAK and that's why I loved the new album so much I guess? just so so so beautiful. i just wanna drown in like the sounds of moonlight and suggestions of other things by candlelight or long city drives? does that make sense? ugh LOVE IT. getting up in my feels here hahahajsdkhasda
YAY HI TO YOUR MOM <3 I hope she's having a beautiful beautiful day too and that's getting rest as well! never worry about getting back to me late, I know you're so busy and that's always okay, love you lots and lots <3 <3 <3
-💥xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
MY BEST PAL <33 hello my sweet, how have u been doing these days? i know i must sound like a record on repeat, but i miss you all the days that i don't hear from you, i'm always thinking about how you are doing ;____;
but YES after like ,,,,,,2 and a half weeks of being sick with the cold i am FINALLY over it :') it's not so much the stuffy nose during the daytime that annoys me it was the freaking clogged nose at night for the love of GOD i hate breathing with my mouth open it's so gross ;___; and sore throats ......... honestly i wouldn't wish a sore throat on my worst enemy lol like i'd rather have the flu for 2 days than a sore throat for a whole week ldkfjsdkf i'm such a baby <3
about being on holiday as a kid LOL IT WAS !!!!! the absolute best time !!! i know at some point we need to be functioning human beings in society lol but honestly at the age of like 13 where ur too young to work but u can't drive yourself anywhere ?? it's the best time (besides the driving part lol) bc you literally do not have one ounce of responsibility it's so great ;____; it's good to work and help ppl but i miss that too ....... and about our experiences with our single moms !!! pls this is all i want for her lol ; like u said nothing overly flashy but once i'm established i would like for her to live comfortably without being at the hands of someone else so i wouldn't mind like buying her a nice apartment ;____; when she was younger she traveled all the time and once i was born she coudn't do that with me bc she simply didn't have the money so she's always telling me after i graduate we should take a little trip to europe or go out west :( i think that would be so great :(((
OH GOOD OLD CATHOLIC GUILT LOL listen ..... there are a lot of things that the catholic church has done in the past that i don't agree with at all and stuff but ;____; i'm still grateful in some aspects bc my moral compass is like . a super big part of my life and it guides me to lead me away from decisions that aren't the best for me lol and i'm really grateful again for my mom for sending me to catholic school all these years :') and i think it's good to have this sense of humbleness (i hate ppl that are so boastful about themselves like truly no one cares sdjfslkf) but i do agree that catholic guilt can sometimes be a hinderance like i keep on saying i wish i had at least one ounce of self dignity SDLKFJ idk like u said it's a fine line between being humble and having no self worth :') i guess at the end of the day u need ppl surrounding u who make u feel like u are worth something and that it's okay to think positively about urself <3
honestly babe no ,,,,,, i'm not looking forward to going back to my final year of uni at all ;____; i don't know when i got like this but nursing school has literally scarred me to the point where i'm so anxious to even finish this year :( the ICU, my preceptorship, exams, finding and landing a job successfully before i graduate ???? i want it to all be over with so quickly but i'm so nervous for the future ahead of me ;____; will i get to where i am meant to be ???? i'm going to sOB IM NOT READY FSKDJFDS .............................
YAY TINY SQUAD LOL SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS !!!!!!! everyone on here is like boo hoo i'm 5'3 and im like ?????? ur inching near normal height shut up ?? SDKFJ :') truly shopping is so hard literally u can kill pants every fitting u perfectly unless u hem them and omg ??? pls explain to me what lampshading is LOL I HAVE NEVER HEARD THAT TERM BEFORE ?? :o !!!!!!!!! but also yes almost all of my sneakers are kids shoes LOL JOKES ON TALL PPL WE CAN GET THEM FOR CHEAPER <3
and about jo malone !!!!!!!!!!! the lime and basil one i've had my eye on it omg !!!!!!! bc i love love the smell of basil :) i'm actually visiting my grandparents this weekend and we are going to the mall so i'm going to finally pick up a new scent !!! i've literally had the one i told u about for 2 years LOL but i also agree everyone loves musky scents for some reason but i don't lsdkfjs i feel like those heavy scents "weigh me down" ????? do u feel that way too? it's hard to explain :')
ALSO OMG OKAY you are my blue moon ride or die now <3 have never met a mbb yet who loves blue moon as much as i do LOL it's just *mwah* perfection ........... absolute perfection like it fits all moods its fresh its lowkey it's perfect and YES YES i felt heaven kinda had the same vibe ??? not so much the dark garage jazz sound but more of the light and airy garage jazz sound LKDFJS i know that sounds dumb but it's lighter and happier but has that same lofi sound i'm obsessed with <3
okay bubbie but YEAH mom and i are healthy now we are in good spirits and we are hanging in there !! again i'm sorry for getting back so late hun really i always want to respond right away but like i always say quality over any short answer hhhh <3 i hope u have a lovely rest of the week if i don't hear from u soon okay? always sending love and hugs xxxxxxxxx !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3
1 note · View note
ma-gic-gay · 3 years
Note
Settling into any form of a routine that involves a change scares him. One that involves a change in the one stable thing in his life, him and Carly, that downright terrifies him. Forget about the fact that half the town knows they hooked up, now he's got... Feelings coming up that involve her. Feelings that he'd buried fifty feet into the ground and covered in cement.
At least, he'd thought he did.
Clearly, they've resurfaced now. He can't help but laugh to himself at that, the knowledge that of course Hurricane Carly lands without warning, yet again. Changing everything and not meaning to whatsoever. Destroying every defense he builds in between landfall and wrecking the stability he manages to get.
In an attempt to ward off these feelings that could complicate everything, he thinks of times she's hurt him. Probably not the best defensive strategy, but he gives not a damn. Whatever works.
Nothing really works until he remembers the time she broke his heart. The last time he'd loved her that way, had any feelings of romantic love towards her. She'd slept with his best friend, who'd manipulated her into thinking he was in love with Elizabeth Webber.
It destroyed him, the betrayal of not only Carly but Sonny's role in it. The fact his supposed best friend had done that to him, knowing how he felt about her and knowing it would hurt him. Half the time, Jason wasn't sure how he'd managed to stay in town so long after it happened, even for Michael's sake. The bullet wound he'd gotten the same night hadn't managed to hurt him as much as seeing her come down the stairs of Sonny's penthouse in his t-shirt, smelling of his cologne.
And the bullet had a good chance of killing him.
So he got on his motorcycle and skipped town, numbing the pain by getting adrenaline highs. And it worked, he was able to process everything and fall out of love with her as she fell in love with Sonny.
Finding out that she was pregnant with Sonny's kid stopped whatever healing he'd done for a solid few days as he allowed himself to go back to drowning the pain in whatever, or whoever, he could find. It was a terrible, self destructive thing, but he'd become like that by then, so it didn't matter anymore.
Getting back to Port Charles had been one of the most difficult things for him to ever do in his life. It took months for him to be over her enough to dare step foot within the limits of the city.
But he did, he was able to get over her. He'd attempted to build up walls around her, but as always, she tore those down. They were never in love again, or even close to it. Aside from a single "the world is ending" kiss, they'd been friends. Best friends. The type who defend each other when everyone else hated them and were, without question, always there for each other.
They trusted each other with their lives, still do, after a certain point. He'd even stopped futilely trying to build up defenses against her and it reached a point they always dropped whenever they were talking. She had a way of breaking down all his walls without any energy that no one else he'd ever known did.
Still, thinking about this as she's answering a text hasn't gotten him to lose the feelings or shove them down again. Dammit, he was very much hoping he could.
This is a bad sign.
"Whatcha thinking about?" Carly asks, noticing he's lost in thought.
"Nothing interesting," he responds. "Just business stuff."
"You're lying," she presses. "Did I miss something?"
"No, I'm just not thinking of anything important." Jason counters.
"I know when you're lying to me, Jason, so just tell me the truth."
"I'm just thinking about this whole kidnapping thing," he says, which isn't a lie; he had been thinking about it as well.
"And?"
He shakes his head at that, a small smile playing on his lips at how easily she can read him. "And I'm thinking about Sonny." That's the truth, but he's thinking more of the hurt Sonny caused than the man himself. Still, thinking about the man.
She nods before letting out a loud sigh. "I've got to get out of this room. Can we go on a walk around this boring hospital?"
"You wanna walk by yourself? Alright, let's see that," he quips.
"If I feel like I'm falling, I'll just have you catch me," she counters, smiling as she shifts under the covers to get out of the bed. "After all, you always do."
"I still think this is a terrible idea."
"Just go along with it. I've had worse," Carly orders, standing up and wincing.
"You're in pain."
"I don't care, I'm going to get out of this room."
"Do you want a wheelchair? Or a walker?" Jason offers, knowing better than to ask her to stay in the room.
"I will do this myself, with your help," she declares. "So get out of the chair and help me do a lap around this hospital floor."
Sighing, he stands up and follows her lead. "See? This isn't so bad, is it?" Carly beams at him through her pain. It's written all over her face, but as usual, she expects it to be covered with a smile.
"Not for me, but you're going to hurt yourself, Carly," he counters. "Please, let me get you a walker."
"No," she says stubbornly, "I'm doing this myself."
"Excuse me, Amy, can I please get a walker for my friend here?" Jason asks the nurse, who agrees peppily, despite Carly's protests.
"Jason, I'm fine. I don't need a walker."
"Then humor me and use one."
"I'm not doing this."
"You don't have a choice. Unless, of course, you'd like a wheelchair," he responds with a knowing smirk.
"I'm only doing this for you," she sighs, giving in as Amy hands her the walker. "This is so embarrassing, god."
"It's taking care of yourself, it's not embarrassing."
"Maybe everyone will be too caught up gossipping about us to realize I'm using one of these things," the blonde grimaces, though she's walking better with the assistance of the walker. "Little Lizzie might've done something good with her big mouth, for once."
Rolling his eyes, he says, "You know, most people would be enjoying their oppirtunity to relax."
"Have you ever considered me a regular person?" Carly asks, a glint of defiance and pride in her eyes. "Seriously. Ever since we met at Jake's, have you ever thought that I'm typical?"
"That night at Jake's, I thought you looked good. That's pretty much all I thought when it came to you that night," he answers. "But if you're asking if I consider you normal now, no. I consider you Carly."
"I can't tell if that's an insult or a compliment."
"Then you get to pick which it is."
"You know, sometimes your refusal to answer my questions is a pain in the ass," she says, wincing in pain yet again.
"And sometimes your stubbornness is a pain in mine. Like right now, when you're clearly in pain and pretending not to be," Jason tells her as they round the corner to the nurse's station.
"I'm not in pain," she protests. "I'm just sore. Really sore."
"Do you want a wheelchair?"
"I can walk, Jason."
"And it hurts when you do. Come on, you don't want to be all hopped up on painkillers when Wiley comes to visit later," he counters.
"When you put it like that-"
"Hey Willow, can I exchange her walker for a wheelchair?" Jason asks when they near the brunette at work.
"Of course," she smiles, finding one and bringing it out.
"Thank you."
"They pay me the big bucks to do this, no thanks necessary," Willow smiles again as Carly sits, defeated, in the wheelchair and allows Jason to push her.
"This is worse than the walker," she complains. "At least then I was walking on my own. Now I've got to be carted around by you. Which, don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying the VIP treatment, but I also don't want to be here, in a hospital. And I want to be at court tomorrow."
"We'll talk to the doctors and see if they say you can go tomorrow," he compromises. "But they might say you've got to be in a wheelchair when you go."
Groaning as they reach her room, she says, "I guess I could live with that. It'd probably make the judge give Cyrus a longer sentence, seeing me in the wheelchair, too. He could get life in solitary!"
"I'll pull some strings and he'll end up in solitary no matter what," Jason agrees as she gets out of the wheelchair and into the bed yet again. "But I think you need to rest before Wiley comes, or one of the doctors, or a lawyer, or someone else who needs your attention."
"If this is your way of saying I'm annoying-"
"It's not, but I want you to be healed."
"I'm healing!"
"You barely made it ten feet without wincing, Carly. That's not healed, that's in pain," he reminds her.
"Which is a part of healing."
Sighing, he says, "I want you to heal fully. Then you can go back to running the world. The best way for you to heal is to sleep and rest up while you can."
"Fine. But I'm doing this for you."
"I know."
To be continued after school probably lol I hate America
@ryleighjosephine
3 notes · View notes
finnwolfhard7137 · 4 years
Text
The Heart of Mine-
Miles Fairchild × Reader
Chapter Eight: A New Plan
Chapter Seven is here...
Word Count 1,023
Warnings: none
_____________________________________
The following days have been the roughest days of your life. You can barely talk, barely move. Miles has been doing everything he can to help ease your pain. He is more angry than sad. As for Mrs. Grose, she has been acting like she didn't almost kill you. Acting like nothing ever happened, she has gone to the extent of looking at you in confusion when you wince in pain. Flora has been extremely kind to you, not wanting you to help her with anything. Miles has been teaching her school and has been playing with her when she gets bored. You feel more helpless than ever. You just want to heal so you can get back to some type of a normal life.
….
Miles is in his room, playing on his drum set that he has in the corner of his bedroom. You are laying on the couch, cuddling with Flora while Mrs. Grose is in the kitchen. You can hear him start banging louder and louder, making Mrs. Grose fairly aggravated.
Tumblr media
Flora starts to fidget in your arms and you try not to move. The banging goes on for a few minutes and then Mrs. Grose has had enough and stomps her way to Miles' room. 
You try to talk but it comes out as a whisper, "Don't, he is just upset!" She ignores you and opens the door and shouts.
Mrs. Grose "THAT IS ENOUGH! You have been at that thing for hours!" He bangs it once more, "Young man..I am warning you," he bangs it again, "If you don't stop that, I will destroy it." 
Tumblr media
Miles "Go ahead! You've destroyed everything that I have ever loved anyway! Look at what you did to Y/n! She can't move on her own or speak...so go ahead, destroy the drum set!"
Mrs. Grose "Your precious little girlfriend went against my rules. She disobeyed me, I taught her a lesson. Maybe now she will listen to me!"
Miles "Do you even hear yourself?! You nearly killed her! She only wanted to let Flora have a little fun, which she did!"
Mrs. Grose "She could have died, Miles! What if you all got in a car accident, what if-"
Miles "BUT WE DIDN'T! People go out and live their lives every single day, including you! People take risks to live a happy life. It is not okay to keep people, especially young kids trapped inside their whole lives!" She just looks defeated, almost speechless because she knew that Miles is right.
Mrs. Grose "Very well. Take a break from the drums Miles, it is giving me a headache."
You hear every word that is said, you can hear the anger and sadness in his voice. Flora is now up and fully alert, offering you a soft smile. You smile back and give her a kiss on her forehead.
Miles comes out of his room, tears on his cheeks and his drum sticks in his hands. He doesn't look at you, he only sits down on the couch that is facing yours and starts hitting his sticks against his legs. He needs some sort of a distraction from everything.
You try to speak, "Babe..you okay?"
Miles "Yeah. Don't worry about me."
Flora "Why are you crying."
Miles "Because I hate seeing her like this, Flora. She was finally healed since the horse accident and then she had to do this to her! She was so happy!" Then he looks at you and stands up, "You were so happy babe...and now look at you." Tears fill your eyes from hearing the truth. 
Tumblr media
"Flora, can you get up?" She agrees and moves off of you. You give Miles grabby hands and he closes the gap between you two. 
"I wanna talk to you.." he nods and picks you up and walks over to his room. "No...outside?" 
Miles "Okay." He takes your outside and you both sit down on the porch.
"Please don't be sad, Miles. My back healed last time, didn't it? My throat will heal too." Miles looks at you but doesn't respond. "I know that this sucks..and you were right..I was happy, we were having a lot of fun together until she did this but I'll get better."
Miles "I know baby, this just isn't fair. You deserve the world but instead you are here suffering."
"I am not suffering," he sighs and looks away from you, "I am not because I have you. If I didn't have you and Flora then I would have left as soon as Quint appeared. But I love you and your sister so I'm not going anywhere." Your throat starts hurting from all of the talking and you grab it to try and get relief, only to be in more pain because it is all bruised.
Miles grabs your hand and uses his hand instead, "Sweetheart you are so swollen.. don't touch it, okay?" You nod and lean your head on his shoulder, "I love you. You will get through this...and when you are healed, I am getting all of us out of here." 
"What?"
Miles "I am getting us out of here. We will leave this place, go far away. Maybe a whole other state..just leave."
"You're serious about this? Hasn't this always been your home?"
Miles "Not by my choice. I want to leave, take you with me...I want to do it as soon as you are better, I don't want to wait until shit gets even worse."
"Where will we go?"
Miles "Anywhere it doesn't matter. Just away from here."
"Yeah...that sounds nice." You offer him a smile and he melts. He smiles and leans down to kiss your nose and then your lips. You swear that when he kisses you, every ounce of pain just goes away. You are looking forward to getting away from here with him and Flora. Things will be so different and so lovely. Flora can grow up, having a good rest of her childhood and you and Miles can be together completely and fully.
_____________________________________
[A lot has happened but now things are going to finally get better..hope you all are ready🙏]
@moriartysringtone7137 @jk97-wolfhard @axrso @btsarmygirl417 @kid-that-likes-to-xplr
33 notes · View notes
Text
Amelia & Jac
Amelia: [okay so I'll put here what we said, for Jac's 18th Savannah sent her some flowers and Amelia binned them, obviously a big fight ensued and they haven't interacted from then in September to now which is nearly Christmas until Amelia sends her a christmas gift of the gay book with a portrait of Jac inside that'll just fall out when she picks it up and a chanel lipstick of some cute shade or other] Jac: [my vibe was if it was left on the step, leaving the book out there and taking the lipstick to send a message 'cos assumedly we'll walk past at some point as we live central] Amelia: [love that] Jac: If you were gonna take it upon yourself to decide I didn't want Savannah's gift, you should have also realised the same rule would apply to yourself Amelia: maybe Jac: No, you should have Jac: you wasted your money and time Amelia: I've got nothing else to do with either, so it hardly matters Jac: I'm not your distraction Jac: leave me alone Amelia: no, you're way more than that Amelia: but okay Jac: I don't have the energy for this Amelia: I didn't do this to force a conversation with you Jac: right Amelia: you're right, I shouldn't have got you anything Jac: you really shouldn't Jac: I don't want anything from you Amelia: alright, message received Jac: for fuck's sake Amelia: What do you want me to say? Amelia: it's been months, I miss you, I hate this Jac: You're about a lifetime too late for any of this Jac: things change Amelia: just go then Jac: Don't tell me what to do Jac: you haven't even apologized Amelia: because you're the only one who can tell me what I should or shouldn't do, okay then Jac: I declined your gift because I don't fucking want it Jac: that's my decision Jac: you can't force it on me Amelia: like it was my decision to get you one, even if you don't fucking want it Amelia: like it's my decision not to apologise when I'm not sorry Jac: it wasn't your decision to make Amelia: I know that Jac: She reached out to me Jac: and you ruined it Amelia: she didn't reach out, it was a cop out Jac: she remembered Jac: she didn't have to do anything Amelia: she didn't do anything Amelia: not even sign her name Amelia: fuck's sake,  and you're mad at ME for my lack of apology Jac: Yes she did, she sent my favourite flowers Jac: and yes I'm fucking mad at you, you don't even know what you started Amelia: at least hold her to the same standard Jac: No, because you aren't the same Jac: and this gift meant something to me, the gesture did Jac: and you couldn't stand that so you took it away Amelia: the false hope meant something to you Amelia: of course I can't stand that Jac: there's nothing false about it Jac: she was never here for my birthday before, not as my friend, she had no reason to remember, I'm blocked on anything that would tell her Amelia: because it's so hard to get around being blocked Jac: so, that would just prove she cared enough to look Jac: either way, that meant something Amelia: it doesn't mean she's coming back Amelia: or dumping her boyfriend Jac: it still means more to me than anything you could ever give or do Jac: so you deal with that Amelia: I can't Jac: You'll find my sympathy running a bit low Amelia: that's how I always find it Jac: I don't have the space in my head or my life to care about you Jac: alright, and I've never said different Amelia: yeah you have Jac: when? Jac: a million years ago when we were kids Jac: life's moved on from then Amelia: this year, things have happened that mean something, you've made space for me and cared about me Amelia: I don't need words, you lie whenever you speak anyway Amelia: and yeah, that's how long it's been, that's she's been gone and I've been here for you Amelia: you can't deal with that any better than you're telling me I have to Jac: I've only cared about myself Jac: that's facts Jac: you've been of some use and that's about as deep as it gets Jac: ask anyone, Amelia Amelia: No Jac: Yes Amelia: you love to make me look and feel crazy but I'm actually not Jac: because normal people throw other people's presents away Amelia: you know why I did Jac: and normal people let themselves be treated like this Jac: yeah, you're so right Amelia: there's a massive gap between normal and the levels of delusional you're trying to make me out to be right now Jac: I'm not trying to make you out to be anything Jac: I'm trying to get you to leave me alone, at best Amelia: and I've said I will Jac: then go Amelia: [does] Amelia: [gonna take this moment to tell you what the book is, We Are Okay by Nina LaCour it's obvs gay and YA again but we've lost the optimism of the previous Christmas because this one is about grief and loss and loneliness, basically this girl leaves her life behind without saying a word (again to go to college lol) after her grandad dies but then her friend who she's in love with and who I think is straight comes to visit her there so she gotta start dealing with all her shit, very apt Amelia well done. I think it does have a happy ending for said main character based on the title but not a fluffy one and she isn't getting with that friend I'm p sure] Amelia: [In clearer terms, this is a book about Marin, a girl who has lost her grandfather, and in doing so, pushed away her former best friend, Mabel. So when Mabel comes to town, Marin does not know what to do with the memories. Marin at once does not want Mabel here, regrets her being here, but also desperately wants Mabel to love her. She has walls up and she wants them down, but she is too terrified for them to ever come down. Marin has lost everything, including Mabel, her best friend and her maybe-something-more.  But it’s not a romance between Marin and Mabel. That is what is perhaps the saddest part. I once saw Nina LaCour talk live about this book, and she said something that perfectly sums up what is so arresting about this book: being queer and in love with your best friend is different than being straight and in love with your best friend. One is an experience in first love, and one is also that, but with an added experience of fear – not of rejection but of disgust. We do not want to hurt our best friends by loving them. We have learned to be ashamed of love and we carry that with us, through thick and through thin. BYE] Jac: [well, v on the nose, soz we won't be reading that hun and we didn't read the last one, so rude] Amelia: [maybe years from now bitch you will and you'll see what we were trying to give you] Jac: [perhaps but clearly not this one as it has essentially washed away lmao] Amelia: [something v poetic about a book about grief and loss and loneliness getting left on the step to disintegrate, when this is a film or netflix show I'll be v smug] Jac: [truly, the drama of it all] Jac: [setting it on fire is so last year, anyway, my thought is Amelia sees Jac and Jesse out somewhere but not out out like somewhere boring and every day which is confusing as it was to the fam 'cos she knows she's not talking or hanging out with them so she's like hmm] Amelia: [good idea but I don't know how I'm gonna be like oi what are you doing when it's none of your business hen LOL] Jac: [Jesse could talk to her 'cos we've established doesn't take a hint and it's like the most awkward] Amelia: [yeah because they are gonna be lowkey friends off and on even though she said they weren't after the vday thing last year so and maybe she asks about his gig he's meant to be doing or whatever cos he would've had to announce he ain't doing it on socials and everything like] Jac: [Jac just casually snapping at her like mind yo business Amelia] Amelia: [I'll pick the convo up after that fun little interaction then] Jac: [when you shoulda said nothing but it came out henny] Amelia: Don't talk to me like that Jac: Don't talk to my brother how's that Amelia: redundant Amelia: because I'll talk to him whenever I like as long as he's not the one upset about it Jac: Yeah, you've established you're a liar before now Amelia: No, we've established I have nothing to gain by keeping any promises to you Jac: and I give a fuck about what you wanna take from me Jac: you need to disappear, I don't want you in my life now, not even peripherally Amelia: I don't wanna take anything from you and I'm not Amelia: but disappearing isn't an option for a bit Jac: Contradict yourself immediately, it's really not a waste of my time Amelia: You're wasting your own time by continuing to have a go at me Amelia: when school's over we'll both be leaving, until then we're both stuck Jac: It wouldn't be a waste of time if you actually listened Amelia: likewise Jac: to what? Amelia: me obviously Jac: you have nothing I've ever wanted to hear Jac: and you're continuing to talk more bullshit now Jac: literally, mind your own business, it should not be hard Amelia: neither should getting your head around the concept that me talking to Jess isn't about you Jac: he isn't your friend Jac: he's my brother, I trump any kind of connection you had or wanna have for whatever sad reason Jac: so yeah, fuck off Amelia: if you want to make him choose, give him your bullshit ultimatum, I won't be Jac: No, you leave us alone Jac: it's like having a fucking stalker Jac: I am sick of the sight of you Amelia: I have left you alone like you asked Amelia: he's asked me to do no such thing Jac: You're pathetic Jac: get some friends of your own and you wouldn't have to cling on to someone being civil towards you Amelia: I've heard it all before Jac: then take the hint Jac: I'm so fed up of you and your moping Amelia: then take the 'advice' you're trying to give me and fuck off Jac: you see me coming, you should turn the other way Jac: I did not need to see you today, fuck's sake Amelia: yeah, I'll turn my desk around too, get back into detention, it has been a while Amelia: I wasn't looking for you, I don't want to see you either Jac: then it's in your best interest to run when you see Jesse coming then Jac: so glad you reached the logical conclusion, try to do it at the time next time, tah Amelia: bye then Jac: you're unbelievable Jac: you don't even feel remotely bad for what you've done Amelia: of course I fucking do Jac: bullshit Amelia: No it's not Amelia: but I'm not going to sit here and type out how and why I feel like shit when it means nothing Jac: you aren't sorry, you said, and you've not made any kind of attempt to actually make amends, not that you can now, it's too late Jac: it's all about how you feel and that you miss me and whatever else Jac: you don't care what I've been through Amelia: I'm not sorry for 🗑💐 but I'm sorry for hurting you Amelia: and that this means I'm not there now for whatever is happening Amelia: like you said, it's too late now Amelia: and like you also said, even if I was there, it's not good enough anyway so Jac: because this isn't some soppy book you read Jac: you aren't gonna save me and it'll all be happily ever afters Jac: this is real life and it's so much bigger than all this Jac: shit that you care about Amelia: yeah, it's my real life too Jac: none of this is real Jac: you're putting off getting one by kidding yourself that this will ever happen Amelia: it is to me Jac: just wait Jac: you'll find out soon enough Jac: this is nothing, all of it Amelia: maybe to you Jac: no fucking maybe Jac: you're a child, your problems are childish Jac: that's factual and I can't pretend to entertain it now Amelia: then don't Amelia: my problems aren't the same as yours because I'm not you any more than I could be Savannah fucking Moore, but guess what, it's not a competition Jac: they're non-existent Amelia: No, they exist, same as I do Amelia: but you don't have to bother about them or me Jac: Get over yourself, Amelia Jac: people have real shit going on, real stuff to deal with Jac: and you want anyone to care about your self-inflicted, whiney, entitled bullshit Jac: for what? 'cos you're an AMAZING friend, yeah, you don't use everything to your advantage or make it all about you Amelia: not really, I want you get away from me like you keep saying you want Jac: I didn't send you a present, loser Amelia: I didn't start a conversation about it Amelia: or keep this one going Jac: because you should feel fucking bad about what you did and you don't Jac: not even an eighth of what I do Amelia: I do feel bad, what do you want me to do to prove it, kill myself? For fuck's sake Jac: yeah good idea Amelia: nothing is good enough for you Amelia: you'd even twist that into something it isn't Jac: fucking try it Jac: I don't want you around Amelia: okay Jac: my life is ruined Jac: you don't get to be okay, you don't get to care about your pathetic crush Amelia: you don't get to tell me what to do or how to feel because your life is ruined Jac: Yes I do Amelia: No you don't Jac: really 'cos you've been pretty easy to manipulate this far Jac: don't act as if you've had say in anything Jac: that's about the only use you have had Amelia: well it's over, all of it Jac: call it like it hasn't been for months on my say so Jac: what is the point of you being alive, actually Amelia: I don't know Amelia: my parents, I guess Jac: good luck with getting that to last then Amelia: 🤞🍀🌠 Jac: give you 'til your late 20s before that stops being enough Amelia: it already isn't Jac: like I said, find some real trauma like the rest of us Jac: gives you something to cling to Amelia: or more to collapse under the weight of Jac: you don't even want to survive Amelia: and what? Jac: and that's the fundamental reason Savannah is better than you Jac: and I am too Jac: all I have is the shit behind me to drive me forwards Jac: and your ideal is to wallow in it Amelia: you've got a million reasons why, I don't care how they're numbered, to be honest Jac: you deserve the nothing you're left with and the nothingness that's coming Amelia: that's worked out perfectly then Jac: I swear to God you're lucky he was there Jac: any other day Amelia: yeah Amelia: you know what lessons to find me in Jac: I'm taking time off Jac: so you can have them Amelia: I really am lucky Amelia: maybe it'll make me care about 20 years in the future, like you do, or 5 or 1 Amelia: drive me forwards too Jac: unlikely Amelia: right now it is Amelia: I'm just trying to get through this conversation Jac: Jesus Amelia: my 🤔💭 exactly Jac: you clueless bitch Amelia: what am I supposed to be clued into? Amelia: we haven't spoken for ages Jac: and that's hardly a mystery Amelia: slag me off as much as you like, I don't know what's going on Jac: didn't inherit that off your mum then Amelia: clearly not Jac: yeah well when she finds out somehow you can hear all about it Amelia: finds out what? Jac: now you're gonna ask how I am Amelia: if you were in the hospital again or something that's more important than any of this bullshit Amelia: please just tell me Jac: no, because you did a grand gesture I didn't ask for so now I'm really all good Amelia: a Christmas present isn't a grand gesture Amelia: or what matters Jac: yeah, no shit it isn't Amelia: can you just Jac: what, tell you what's wrong with me? Jac: will that make you feel better Amelia: No Jac: yeah, that makes it almost seem worth it Amelia: forget it Amelia: I'll find out when everyone else does or I won't Jac: yeah Jac: your fake concern for 2 seconds was really comforting Amelia: nothing about this is fake for me Amelia: I don't know how many more times or ways I can make that fucking obvious Jac: you're all talk Jac: I expect nothing more or less from you at this point Amelia: because talking is all I can do Amelia: you won't take a 🎁 I'm not risking an actual gesture Jac: yeah, I heard Jac: nothing in it for you Amelia: okay, tell me I'm wrong Amelia: tell me there is Jac: no Amelia: say something Amelia: give me literally anything Jac: how many times can you be told it's not about you before you get it Jac: it's not about caring because I throw you false hope Jac: we were friends, once Amelia: which is exactly why I want you to tell me what it's really about Amelia: I care about you, I fucking love you Amelia: and something bad has happened Jac: depends on your point of view Amelia: put all of this bullshit between us aside and talk to me Amelia: you said it, we were friends Jac: I don't know if I actually want to hurt you this bad Jac: call me stupid Amelia: it's not about me, remember? Jac: still Jac: it's Amelia: you aren't going to talk to anyone else Jac: Jesse knows Jac: and my parents Amelia: that doesn't mean they know how you feel, just what's happened Jac: you won't be able to know either Jac: it isn't gay Amelia: this can still be one of those times where you say things to me that you don't to anyone else, if you want Amelia: if it'll help you Jac: Nothing will help me Jac: but I don't care Jac: I've got a baby Amelia: what? Jac: a dead one now Amelia: oh Jac: yep Amelia: when? Jac: it's why Jesse cancelled his gig Amelia: of course Amelia: that makes sense Jac: so now you know Amelia: yeah Jac: so yeah, there's nothing to be said or done and that's seriously it Amelia: okay, well I'm here if that ever changes Amelia: my mum's never gotten over it but I know talking helped her Jac: talking isn't going to assuage the guilt of creating and destroying life Jac: maybe I'll go pray but I doubt that does either Amelia: I don't know Amelia: there must be a reason therapy is so popular, you're the wannabe psychologist Jac: hope Jac: I'm not interested Amelia: alright, no talking Amelia: do you want to go out? Jac: and bleed over the four pairs of tights I'd have to wear to stop it running straight down my legs? Amelia: a no would be a perfectly acceptable answer Jac: yeah, it's perfectly acceptable to bother a therapist about it so you never mention it to anyone else Amelia: you're not going to mention it anyway, you've said as much Jac: that has nothing to do with your sensibilities Jac: if I wanted to, I could go into horrific detail Amelia: yeah, you could Amelia: you could also bleed all over my car if you wanted to Jac: Yeah right Jac: your entire street is curtain twitchers Amelia: we won't be hanging out on my street Jac: there's nowhere I could go that'll make me forget either Amelia: you've been stuck inside for days with your family, it's hardly a grand gesture to suggest taking you literally anywhere else Amelia: but okay Jac: Jess won't let me go anyway Jac: last time I said I'd hang out with you and he believed it I fucked your girlfriend so Amelia: you kissed her Jac: oh yeah Jac: same difference Amelia: no Amelia: there's quite a big difference Jac: maybe I told him I did then Jac: I don't remember Amelia: probably Jac: the outcome was the same is the point Amelia: the point is, Jess won't let you go Amelia: I got that Jac: I had to have someone come with Amelia: yeah Jac: not about to ask the poor sod who did it Amelia: have you told him though? Jac: yeah Jac: fucking embarrassing Amelia: I assume you're less likely to accidentally run into him than you are me Jac: I think I got points for dealing with it and being cool anyway Jac: go me Amelia: great Jac: it don't matter Jac: only would have if he'd kicked up a fuss Jac: but he didn't seem the sort and that's one less thing for me to feel guilty about so fuck it Amelia: does Darla know? Jac: I told her false alarm Jac: had to ask her about him so Amelia: then why do you think everyone's going to find out? Jac: people somehow always do Jac: I don't care anymore, not now Amelia: if my mum hasn't heard, it's unlikely Amelia: she knew about your alcohol poisoning immediately Jac: beneath her to have connections with an abortion clinic Amelia: she's not god squad Jac: close enough Amelia: my aunt had one after having Olivia, there was something wrong with the baby apparently Amelia: my mum wasn't protesting outside Jac: that's different then Jac: you have a reason, people can repeat that to themselves until they forget about it Amelia: you had a reason too Amelia: everyone does Jac: no, I had an excuse Amelia: you had a reason Jac: no, I didn't Amelia: yeah, you did Amelia: and if anyone else did it for the same reason you wouldn't call it an excuse Jac: Yes I would Amelia: you hate yourself, before this, after this and because of this Amelia: stop Jac: I didn't need to get pregnant, I did and then I killed it Jac: anyone who did that, I'd think exactly the same Amelia: you didn't mean to Amelia: and if you're going to punish yourself this hard for every mistake you ever make then you're going to last even less time than you think I will Jac: You don't act like that not not mean to Jac: all I need to do is live this year then I'll be doing what I actually want Amelia: and that's enough of a reason, don't you get that Jac: enough of a reason for what Amelia: you can't just have a baby you don't want Amelia: it's not like fucking lads you don't care about Jac: no one made me do any of it Jac: so it's not a reason Jac: it's stepping away from any responsibility Amelia: you made you Amelia: and you'd be a shit mum Jac: no, that's bullshit Jac: you tell yourself what you like about it but I know what I did Amelia: tell me you enjoyed it, any of the times Jac: it's sex Jac: that's one of but not the only point Amelia: say it then Amelia: what your point is Jac: Why am I repeating myself? Jac: I know what I did Jac: you aren't going to convince me otherwise Amelia: Why are you doing it? Jac: Well I can't anymore, actually Jac: 2 weeks minimum Amelia: but why have you ever? Jac: because I want to Amelia: you want Savannah Amelia: it hasn't helped you forget that, it won't Jac: neither do you but you didn't tell me not to do that Jac: I can still want to fuck guys Jac: end of Amelia: fine, I'll say it now Jac: yeah Amelia: I can't do this any more Jac: we aren't Amelia: we've said that before, it has to be different this time Jac: whatever Jac: you expect me to make promises to you? Jac: I don't fucking care, Amelia Jac: you deal with it, it's not my problem Amelia: okay Jac: Christ sake Amelia: What? Jac: Never mind, right, off you go Amelia: I'm not going Jac: 🙄 Amelia: you don't care, I heard you before Jac: you want it to be different this time Jac: do something about it Amelia: I'm not having sex with you, that's what I'm doing differently Jac: what's the point in that Jac: doing all the other shit, there's barely any difference Amelia: because I shouldn't have ever but I can't take any of it back Jac: we don't need to be friends either Amelia: we're not Jac: then leave Jac: why half-arse it, that's my point Amelia: I can't leave Jac: just the situation Jac: you don't actually need to kill yourself Amelia: no, I can't leave you Jac: don't be daft Amelia: I'm not repeating myself either Jac: please yourself Amelia: fuck you Jac: you'll be a long time waiting for a thank you Jac: I didn't ask for this Amelia: neither did I Jac: you have a choice Amelia: yeah, and I've made it Jac: and what? Jac: what would you like me to say? Amelia: don't say anything Amelia: I'd honestly love that Jac: yeah, I bet Amelia: the back and forth between utter lies and bullshit and brutal fucking honesty is worse than just the gaslighting Jac: then go away Jac: you're doing this to you Jac: I don't want you here Amelia: you're doing it to me Jac: no, I'm not Amelia: you are Jac: I'm literally telling you to go Amelia: you're always telling me to go Amelia: it's been over a year Jac: your lack of resolve is not my fault Amelia: if you really don't want me here, do something about it Jac: No, because I'm not crying about it Jac: if you feel so gaslit, fuck off Jac: don't reply, don't engage Jac: I don't owe you anything Amelia: you're literally complaining about it Jac: because you're crying wolf Jac: I can and will do what I want, that's how it's always been Amelia: It's no different for me, I've always done what I want too Jac: no, you're being horribly manipulated and used Jac: poor little Amelia Amelia: you fucking said it as a brag earlier Amelia: how easy it is Jac: so why are you repeating it back to me, like I don't know? Jac: you're waiting for me to deny it, or apologize and say it's not true and I care SO much Jac: get real Amelia: I'm waiting for you to stop Amelia: actually do anything you say you're going to Jac: why? Jac: why are you expecting me to act like I'm fine when I'm not Jac: keep making the same wrong call and act surprised when I do what feels right Jac: for fuck's sake, Amelia Amelia: I don't know Amelia: maybe because I'm not fine either but I don't treat you like this Jac: maybe 'cos you've got no willpower Jac: maybe 'cos struggling is a competition and I'm winning Amelia: maybe Jac: 🤔💭 on that Amelia: obviously Jac: fun never stops Jac: enjoy, like Amelia: 🎢 🎠🎪 Jac: 'tis the season Amelia: Merry Christmas 🎄🎅⛄ Jac: great Amelia: yeah Jac: make you feel better that? Amelia: 1. you literally don't care 2. neither do I Jac: I'm literally still bleeding from having my baby chemically expelled and you don't get any joy out of wishing me a Merry Christmas? Jac: what is the fucking point, if you're gonna be a cunt, commit to it Amelia: there's no point to any of this, we both get that Jac: nah, it actually makes me feel better to make you feel worse Jac: that's the point Jac: I have loads of them Jac: it's you who has zero idea what the fuck she's doing Jac: as per Amelia: oh well in that case, carry on Jac: if you hadn't worked that out by now, there is no hope for you Amelia: there's no hope for me anyway, as you've said repeatedly Jac: you seem pretty resigned to this whole victim thing you've got going on Jac: it's a fair observation Amelia: I'm sure it is Jac: yep, that's right, curl up into a ball 'til it's over Jac: fuck this Amelia: until what's over? Jac: the attack, whatever you wanna call it Amelia: I don't want to call it anything, I don't want to do this Amelia: you're the one who's getting something out of it, unless that's another lie Jac: then don't Jac: why the fuck are you still here? Amelia: because I can't fucking leave when you're in the middle of an abortion Amelia: for fuck's sake Jac: the good friend points are not being counted any more Amelia: I don't care Amelia: if this is all I can do, over nothing, then so be it Jac: you're gonna let yourself be a punching bag Jac: seriously Amelia: why not? Amelia: it's not like it's the first time, or that I haven't for things that matter less Amelia: and it's too late to change any of that Jac: because I want you to stop Jac: to fight back Jac: to not do this shit anymore Amelia: I'm not fighting you right now, even if I had the strength to ever Jac: it's like Jac: you don't understand how dangerous it is Jac: what if this was someone else Jac: do you wanna end up like that, getting knocked about and taken advantage of Amelia: I don't give a fuck about the future, remember? Jac: well stop it Amelia: no Jac: stop Amelia: no Jac: fine Jac: I'll go Amelia: okay, go
1 note · View note
yoursinfulurges · 5 years
Text
Neo Host Club
Part 1.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Description:
Sm academy is a school for the riches kids in the country. If you have way too much time in your hands, have the school' host club take care of it for you. The host club is compiled of 21 members, im sure one of them will fit your preference. Indulge in fine dining as handsome rich men accompany you, showering you with love and affection. The host club is here to fulfill all of your fantasies of having a handsome rich man as your boyfriend. We encourage you to join us. Neo Host Club is your perfect vacation, we are here to aid you from all your stress.
Lies. All lies. At first everything was perfect, no bumps or kinks in the road. Being with Jaehyun was like a dream come true. But, like all dreams, at some point you have to wake up. Everything could've gone much more smoother if you would've never gotten involved with him in the first place. You went from being a one-time customer, to his personal call girl. You loved him with all your heart, but he loved himself way more. He took it upon himself to choose his pride over you. The host club wasn't as perfect as it seemed. It was not a picture perfect place where nothing could go wrong, It was just a utopian world made up by troubled kids, who hoped to forget their miserable lives outside of school. You know that now... He could've chosen love over tragedy, but his pride prevented him from doing so. He had a reputation as the host clubs most charming member to up hold, and he certain couldn't risk it for some girl he sleeps around with. He chose his pride, not you, thus shattering your relationship... or, whatever it was that you two had....
You were left with a shattered heart, he left you to pick up the pieces all on your own. It was not love, but instead a tragedy.
Warning: multiple smut scenes, bisexuality, grammar errors, implication of Asian reader, degrading terms, and over all a whole shit show
Word Count: about 5.k
___________
You gazed out the window of your limousine and sighed. Your face contorting into an expression that displayed 100% discomfort; you looked as if you were about to throw up any given minute, soiling the red velvet rug and your brand new uniform. The tingling sensation in the pit of your stomach seemed to be like a never ending stream. An endless flow of nervousness and anxious thoughts, feeding your anxiety like a wild fire, stirring up a cyclone of possible panic attacks or mental break downs. It felt as though you were on the verge of crying and shitting your pants.
Today, you'd be starting a new chapter in your life. You were finally attending the infamous SM academy, a school known for its excellent education system and outstanding clubs. You've heard many rumors about SM, but the most repeated are about a particular club called neo host club. It's apparently compiled by 18 charming male students, proudly running the club in it's second year at SM academy. The club was said to be extremely gifted, talents ranging from singing, dancing, rapping, and even magic acts.
You were sure they were nice and all, but you weren't buying it. A group of extremely good looking men with impeccable manners. It was almost too good to be true. What is this?, a sappy fanfiction written by a fourteen year old high school student that has nothing better to do? Yes. From what you've heard, they seemed like robotic brain washed idiots, fooled into acting like manga characters. It was best to not interact with them, given your long track record of obsessing over anime characters. You came to this school to learn, not to get involved with boys. No love affairs or scandalous awkward run in's. You were here to further your work ethics and that's all, there was nothing in your itinerary about getting involved with boys. Besides, something about them seemed fishy...
-
You gazed at your parents one last time before finally stepping out of the car. It was evident from your expression that you did not want to be here. You've protested a million times and made it completely obvious to your parents that you didn't want to attend SM. Originally, you wanted to go to JYP Arts, a school who focuses more on creative liberty rather than academics. It's most commonly known as a school who values creativity more than anything else, earning it a bad reputation from parents such as yours. You wanted to attend JYP rather than SM due to your passion for art, but your parents disapproved and left you with no other option but to attend SM.
They insisted that art wouldn't get you any where, and that it was more of a side hobby rather than a job you can actually make money off of. You were crushed, but weren't surprised. Your parents had always raised you to value money over happiness. Ever since you were little, you were tought that living in luxury and loneliness was better than living poor and surrounded by love. The only time you actually made your parents proud was when you won a hefty prize on some petty competition; not when you won a trophy for your outstanding literature work. Not when you donated half a million dollars to charity, in fact, they seemed bitter about it, rather than proud.
To them, your trophy room filled with over 200 golden medals and trophies was nothing compared to the dollar signs you'd rake in. As a child, you've always joked that your parents were like the cookie monster, but with money. Having always seen them in the study, counting huge wads of 100 dollar bills, usually accompanied by other stacks of fresh paper; Naturally, you saw them as a psychopath with an unhealthy obsession over money, greedy and hungry (but without the blue fur and garbage can of course.) None the less, they still treated you with love,... In their eyes.... You were sure that in their own twisted way, they loved you with all their hearts. They just didn't show it much, or at all....
Life with them as parents was....rough... You would've been fine if you had other siblings to socialize with, but your parents thought of children as a menus and that you were far than enough for them. You figured out pretty quickly that you were only born because they needed a heir to the family business. You weren't aloud to talk nor even look at the children that would play outside the gates of your mansion. They iced you out from everything outside the walls of your house. Forcing you to make friends with the statues and paintings that littered your home. It was indeed sad, sad enough for the staff to take pity on you and go well out of their way to interact with you.
Thankfully, making some great friends in the confinement of your own home. Over time, you weren't so lonely anymore. There was Mrs. Kim, your librarian and teacher who home schooled you up until this point. Mr. Kim, the gardener. Mr. Lee, the chef and baker. Emily, one of the maids around the same age as you. Sehun, the son of your head maid. And lastly, Mrs. Oh, your head maid and Sehun's mother. They weren't exactly the normal group of friends people your age would have but they were great. So much fond memories were made with them, they raised you more than your parents ever did.
-
Morning classes flew by quicker than you expected, and before you knew it it was time for lunch. Your morning mainly consisted of you arriving to classes late due to your unreliable locker not wanting to cooperate, and boring lectures given in both 2 classes. You still couldn't shake off Ms. Lee's lecture about sexual intercourse, she had practically begged and yelled at your table to not have sex. Yes, specifically your table, earning lots of snickers from the other students and shy glance from you while your seat partner tried not to piss her pants. You did not expect a 40 year old lady in a purple get up to yell at you about sex on your first day of school. You expected your day to go much more normally than this, hopefully your evening will go on much more smoother. But some good did come out from Ms. Lee's excessive screaming.
While your loony teacher was yelling at another group about something you couldn't quite understand, you had managed to make a friend somehow. Her name was yeri, at first you'd expected her to one of the more quiet students, but boy were you wrong. The moment Ms. Lee stomped over to your table yeri's lips were practically bleeding, due to her bitting down on it way too hard to prevent herself from laughing. You liked her a lot, having shared some common interests and surprisingly similar personalities.
She even invited you to sit with her and her friends at lunch. You agreed of course, not wanting to look like a fool by sitting all by yourself. You would be vulnerable to judgmental stares and occasional murmurs. After class you stuck by yeri like gum to a shoe. She had informed you that it was usually her job to witch hunt her friends down. Understandable, given that the school was at least the size of fifteen malls. One could easily get lost. This 'witch hunt' however, wasn't as complex as you'd expect it to be. You had managed to find all four of them in under five minutes. Though it was painstaking,  mentally wise. Yeri said 'seek for those that look ill minded'. It had taken you a while to figure out what the hell that meant, as you did not speak her witch lingo. But after a few seconds you had managed to translate it as 'look for the idiots'. You left it to her to find them though, as you weren't the judgmental type. And sure enough she did.
They were all huddled around a girl; and from what you can see, she seemed to be distressed in a way. Vulgar profanities spill from her lips as she aggressively throws books into her locker. They were all pretty, but looked very intimidating. From what information you can gather with your eyes, they definitely weren't the most well-behaved students here. One opted for a leather jacket instead of the required school blazer. Some wore fish nets instead of stockings. Two wore plaid skirts. And almost all had hoop earrings on, which you know for a fact is not allowed. They all sported bright, eye catching makeup; with hair ranging from violet high lights to straight up platinum blonde. The contrast between yeri and them was unimaginable, but fitting. The only remotely juvenile thing about her is her ash grey high lights. Other than that, she seemed like your typical well-mannered girl.
"Oof, whose the babe." A very pretty girl with red lipstick and perfectly lined brows said whilst pointing at you with her lollipop. You looked her up and down and immediately got chills. She wore black latex thigh high heels; a plaid miniskirt with a leather belt, accompanied with chains; and an off white blouse, nearing grey in the color spectrum; with a sleek black leather jacket, that tied the look all together.
"This is y/n. She's new. Y/n, seulgi." Said yeri. Her hand landing at the dip of your back, pushing you forward gently but with the foundation of force. The grip  you had on your books tightens, pulling your notebook closer to your chest. You weren't necessarily scared, just weary.
"Ou, fresh meat." This,... Seulgi uttered.
"Careful she bites. Hi, I'm wendy." Stated the girl that was distraught earlier, as she moved her locker door a bit to take a peek at seulgi. Observing her, you smiled back.
She wore her hair in space buns with red and purple highlights; complementing their whole 'grunge chic' look. Her outfit was all mixed and match, from a yellow plaid mini skirt and red tank top, to a lilac and pink wind breaker. Chaotic, but stylish. Her gaze shifted from seulg to you, with a pleasant smile on her lips. To which you return, as you didn't wanna be caught observing her... She then aggressively shuts her locker door before turning your way.
"Cafeteria?" She questioned and you all nodded. You weren't one to oppose a grumbling stomach after all, so you complied.
-
Once seated in the cafeteria, you took a minute to take it all in. The place looked like the queen's ball room with the fancy domed roof and pillars, not to mention the giant chandelier that hung in the middle of the room. It was quite spacious, fit for the only finest. You couldn't expect any less from Korea's top school.
"Look whose here." The girl whom you've come to know as irene spoke, nudging her head towards the brown double door entrance. Your gaze following, and landing at a group of boys. All handsome and well dressed... I guess you were staring at them way too intensely, since one of the girls spoke up.
"Careful, you don't wanna get close to them." Wendy whispers in your ear.
"Why not?" You ask, turning her way.
Seulgi scoffs. "They're a bunch of a-holes but everyone here's too dumb and blinded by their looks to figure it out." She states while probing her miniscule fork in the air in their general direction.
"Seems like you have something against them." A sly tone laced your tongue as you spoke. You didn't know where this new found comfort came from since you were antisocial as fuck. But it was quite easy to adjust to them. They weren't as bad as you thought. They were actually very nice and well-mannered. They just have trouble obeying rules... You felt comfortable with them, almost like you've known them your entire life.
"Ya!? Well, I do!"
"Last summer seulgi got into some beef with taeyong, the guy with red hair and the leader of 'nct' as they call themselves. Anyways, They dated but seulgi came out as les and he got really salty about it and released nude pictures of her and her titties." Joy laughed while seulgi scoffed once more.
"They were nice though..." Wendy informed with a mischievous laugh.
"I know! If anything it just made the girls fond over me more. I mean get a load of these double D's." You spat out your tea as she pushed her breast together and leaned forward to attack you with them. Everyone bursts into a giggling fit as you coughed vigorously.
"But still, it pissed me off!" With her eyebrows furrowed she threw the tiny fork in her hand at her empty tray. The laughter didn't seem to die down and you thanked joy for the napkin she handed you to recollect yourself. You thought to yourself, maybe this wasn't so bad.
Not much had happened since lunch. Third period wasn't that bad since irene and joy accompanied you in math. Not to mention that it was practically a free period due to a technical difficulties. Last period was with seulgi and wendy. The three of you spent majority of language arts goofing off as the teacher read segments from Romeo and Juliet. Wendy made exaggerated expressions as the infamous "Romeo, Romeo, wherefore arth thou Romeo" line was read off... resulting in her being sent to the principal's Office...
-
And now you were back at your miserable humble abode, wilting away like a plant without water. It was only then when your macbook started vibrating with notifications, that you decided to take a break from painting.
Instagram: Yeri_is.petrified started following you...
Instagram: TheWendyBird started following you...
Instagram: Joy¡!_xoxo started following you...
Instagram: Irene♡_ started following you...
Instagram: Seulgi_ started following you...
Incoming call from: Yeri_is.petrified +4 others.
[Decline]  [Accept]
You furrowed your brows in confusion, how did the manage to find your account so easily. You sighed unknowingly as you clicked the accept button.
AznBabe_ has accepted call...
"Hey bitch." Yelled seulgi. You looked at her side of the screen. Instantly you noticed her odd preference in decorations as her room looked like a night club. There were mixtures of reds, purples, and blue illuminating lights. You presumed that were caused by various neon signs of some form. Her roomed looked like a strippers den. Especially with the red and black silk sheets she had.
"Asian babe, really?" Asked Irene. Her room was definitely more mellow. It fits her whole "your mom wished she gave birth to me" vibe. Very prim and proper, her color palette from what you can see is mainly black and white, with a plant here and there.
"Ya, lol..." you deadpanned. "How did you guys even find my IG?"
"It took a lot of searchin. By the way, love the whole edgy-urban- im-a-badass-dont-mess-with-me thing you have going on in your feed." You laughed as wendy emphasized her words, using hand gestures to prove her point.
"Ya, totally different from the whole good girl thing you have going on. It's hot. I like it." Added joy. Understandable since to took pride in reinventing yourself just for the internet. In the eyes of your followers you were a rebellious lil demon' that smoked and road motorcycles. But in actuality you were a goody-two-shoes that just so happens to vape and have access to thousands and thousands of urban clothing. You did ride a bike though but you preferred the rose gold custom Lamborghini you got for your birthday last year.
Truth be told, it was just an act. You weren't entirely sure what prompted you to create this edgy persona of yourself. I guess it was just to distract yourself from the oh' so pitiful life you lived now. A double life if you will...
"You should dress like this tomorrow. You'll fit right in." Said yeri as she held up her left hand in the form of a 6 sign.
"Why'd you losers called anyways?" It's funny how comfortable you've gotten with these girls that you've barely known twelve hours ago. You felt like you've been apart of their friend group since the beginning even though you've just met them today.
They all shrugged before going back to the task at hand. Irene was probably finishing up next weeks homework. While Yeri and Joy were mindlessly scrolling through their feed. Wendy has her camera off but by the sound of things she was probably cooking. Seulgi, well she was just laying in bed smoking. As for you, you were just tidying your work station.
"Are you guys planning to go to yukhei' party tomorrow? I heard he's going to have a cheese fountain." Wendy announced as she turned her camera on, giving you full view of the mess she made. Stains ranging from red to greenish yellow adorned her white shirt. And the gold spatula she was holding had burnt pieces on it.
"The boy loves his cheese." Laughed seulgi as she talks another drag from her blunt.
"Wait a minute, isn't he that guy from the club you said to stay away from?" You questioned, looking up from what you were doing to give them a look of confusion.
"He throws really good parties." Irene shrugged, not bothering to look up from her notebook.
Wong Lucas was Indeed a questionable man, but there was no doubt that he threw the craziest parties. He was pretty much what you'd expect a nineteen year old rich kid to be, wild and rebellious. It was a known fact that he got his spot at Neo through one of his parties. He was the one that arranged most of the clubs events because he was really good at it. For the most part he has a pretty squeaky clean record. Aside from little rumors here and there.
-
And that's how you found yourself dressing up hot and steamy for a party you didn't even know the location to. You decide to go casual yet still sexy. It didn't take you long to decide on a red latex, skin tight skirt with a Gucci belt, paired with a black lace bracelet styled top, and black velvet thigh highs. As for your hair and makeup you kept it simple, opting to just curl your hair with a subtle black winged liner and a bright red lip, also accompanied by perfectly lined brows and extra gleaming highlight.
Seulgi was already at your house since she insisted on getting dressed there. The party didn't start till nine and it was only seven twenty so you had plenty of time to lounge around. Seulgi went with a dark purple velvet off shoulder flaired dress, with black thigh high heels that laced up at the front. Her hair was styled in a bun with her bangs hanging loose. And her makeup was very minimalistic, similar to yours except she had a nude lipstick on.
"Smile for a picture slut!" She yelled, positioning the camera in front of you both. You did your go-two insta hoe pose; shoulders back, one eyebrow slightly raised, gaze soft yet sassy; lips pressed together but lightly tugged into a small smirk. You figured out that the pose made you look irritated and confused yet still hot. The next picture was just of you and seulgi giving the camera the middle finger with your eyes closed and tongue stuck out.
"You look hot in all of these." Seulgi complimented as she scrolled through the pictures. Deciding the top five that worked well in her favors before posting it on her IG. Not so long later the doorbell rang, indicating that someone was present at the door.
Seulgi_ tagged you in a photo
[Image]
10,000 likes
Born in the pussy, i'll die in a cunt.
579 comments
_JaeD_ +58 others has started following you...
The party hadn't even begun and already the place was packed. Cars ranging from Lambo's, Royce', and Mercedes littered the place. Luckily Irene found a place to park her convertible. You knew that this place was heavily guarded since it was known to be one of the more classier part of Seoul. So when wendy suggested to park in the streets, none of you seemed to worry about any possible theft.
The house was huge, certainly not as large as your house but definitely enough to fit a hundreds of people. From your knowledge of revenue, or just money in general, the house looked to be worth a good nine million, ten at most. It was a modern home so you knew that it had to be well over a million. Since most houses that have that specific structure were more on the heftier side of things. And there were stone statues everywhere. Those aren't cheap to come by.
You all walked up to the security man with a guest list and patiently waited for the group of girls to finish. You knew judging by their clothes that they weren't from the privileged life. The knockoff Gucci was a huge give away. Normally you wouldn't have a problem about these kinds of things, but knowing how upper class parties work, the odds are they were going to get thrown out.
You watch as the girl whined and screamed to be let in, claiming that she'd tell her father about him. You almost took pity on them, enough to say they were with you. You would've if it weren't for half of them giving you the stank eye.
"Step aside. Name?" The man asked you.
"Lee Y/n, of the Lee dynasties." You said confidently, staring back at the girl who had been glaring at you the second you walked up here.
"And you know who we are." Joy piped.
"Hi wonho!" Greeted wendy.
"Right this way girls." The guard known as wonho smiled before opening the door for the six of you.
"We're with them." One girl said.
"No you're not." You laughed at Irene's words, strutting into the home. It reeked of alcohol and drugs. The air was littered with smoke from the smoke machine, and atmosphere gave off a more chill-club kind of vibe from the red and blue lights the laminated that places. The place was jammed pack with people, some you recognize from school.
"Let's go get a drink." Seulgi whispered in your ear. You nod whilst looking around. She mumbled a inaudible 'this way' before pushing your forearm to the direction of the kitchen.
Your jaw drops. There really was a cheese fountain...
The kitchen wasn't as compacted as before, leaving room for you to actually wonder. There were only a few groups of people and from what you can see out the sliding doors, they were all outside by or in the pool.
"Look theres pizza."
"Theres a cheese fountain. A fucking cheese fountain! I thought it was a joke-"
"Ohhh nooo, Yukhei never jokes about cheese..."
-
You watch in amusement as yeri chugs down her twelfth glass of martini blue. (S/o if you get it). At this point in, you've lost count of how many shots you've had and the many types of alcohol you drank. Everything became a drunken blur, gaze hazy, mind fuzzy. The blaring music was coming through filtered, like you were under water. Everything felt like a mirage. Every action your body did, your brain did not comprehend. Thus resulting you on time out, under the watchful gaze of wendy and Irene.
A huff leaves your lips as you slumped and grabbed another slice of pizza off the counter you sat atope of.
"Why can't I just have another one..." a pout forms on your face as you groan in frustration.
"Because y/n you've already had 24 shots of that neon green stuff." Says wendy.
"Hey Yuk, what is that stuff?" Irene grabs a hold of the muscular male that happened to pass by, pointing at the  suspicious looking bowl of glowing green liquid.
"Oh, that?.. ask Sicheng and Nakamoto, they made it. But I think its mountain dew and monster with vodka and sprite, something like that." Lucas says before placing down three boxes of pizza and tacos and leaving. Leaving the two to groan in agony, somebody had to take care of you.
"I'm going to the washroom..." you say, hopping off the granite counter and wobbling off to a random hallway.
"Okay..." mumbled Irene as she takes a sip from her plastic red cup.
Uncertain where your legs were taking you to, you watch as seulgi pushes a girl into an unoccupied room. You were unsure of her name but you've seen her in your fine arts class. She hangs out a lot with those JYP kids.
"Have fun Seul!" You laughed, banging your forearm into the wooden door before drunkenly walking off.
Somehow you had managed to find the washroom. You swiftly made your way in and locked the door behind you. Clearly missing the figure that smoked in the shower. You blink meekly at the sink, forgetting why you went to the washroom in the first place.
You sigh, propping yourself up on the counter. Your body swayong lightly to the current migos song blasting through the speakers outside. You yawn lightly, thanking god that the red and black aesthetic happening outside correspondent in the bathroom as well. The red led light that illuminated the room was certainly much more calmer than the yellowish lights in the kitchen. It made things a lot easier to actually see.
The male watches you with amusement in his eyes. Taking another drag from his blunt, he shifts his weight onto the shower wall.
"What's a pretty girl like you doing here?" He asked, nodding is head upward before tilting it to the side and taking another drag of his cigar. His hazel brown eyes staring down at you as he lifts an eyebrow, waiting for a respond.
You hum lightly, swinging your legs absentmindedly. "Just chillin!" He laughs slightly at your answer before making his way to you and leaning against the bathroom counter.
"Then lets chill together. My names Yuta. You?" Evident in his voice that he wanted more than to just relax, but it only goes by unnoticed to you as you happily told him your name.
5 minutes later...
"Oh fuck!! Just l-like that! Shit!!!" You scream loudly as you grip onto Yuta' hair. A smirk forming on his lips as he looks up at you with sly eyes. A milky way of lust and hunger filled his hazel ord. (Pun not intended) Moans fall out of your mouth as Yuta sucked on your clit. Your vision fogs as your intoxicated mind tries to comprehend every wave of pleasure coming your way.
"I-im coming! Fuck!!!" Screaming at the top of your lungs, your breath increases as you struggle to unleash the tightness in your stomach. Your pitch rises ten octaves as you release onto Yuta' mouth. Your mind in a blissful ecstasy as you ride out your high.
"Well, that was fun." He says in a sly tone, lifting his head and licking his lips.
"Visit me if you ever want more..." A chuckle erupts from his mouth as he handed you a pink card with golden accents on all four corners. You watch as he leaves before reading the cursive golden letters on the card.
|                      Neo Host Club                        |
                           Empathy,
           We turn dreams into reality.
|                Room: 127  7am-6pm                 |
You raise your brow in confusion as you examine the card front to back. We turn dreams into reality? What the hell did that mean? An escorting buisiness perhaps.. though you highly doubt the school would allow such a thing. Regardless of the clubs purpose, it was still worth checking out. As the name and slogan intrigued you very much.
And thus, you began your journey down the rabbit hole of poorly chosen decisions and midnight drunk hook ups. But sooner or later the spiral will begin to unwind and all will be revealed. After all, they didn't call him the king of hearts for nothing...
How was that huh? Probably not what you expected but oh well :/ don't expect for part two to be out any time soon!!! Currently working through writers block :(
323 notes · View notes