#if anyone wants to come up with 3 characters for their detective and tag me I would positively scream

[minustwofingers]

exoplanet part 7

pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader (she/her pronouns used)

series masterlist (read parts 1-6 here!)

summary: you’ve won the life lottery as one of the few people on earth with parents who gained admittance to the most prestigous safezone in the world after the outbreak. but after a lab accident sends you out to jackson, wyoming, real life hits you fast. it’s a good thing that a hot lesbian finds u. (lol). mean ellie at first, slowburn, enemies to friends to lovers, fem reader asf

warnings: stuck up awful rich people. mentions of: abortion (sowwy ** i can't write kids), homophobia, throwing up, general awful elitism, heavy drinking, implied minor character death, and we talk about stuff like unethical labor practices/basically slave labor. depictions of: violence, guns.

a/n: hey yall....sorry for taking literal months to write this. and sorry in advance for what you're about to read, since this is admittedly a little far removed from tlou. and i'm also sorry if this isn't what you guys are expecting—i know i made you wait a long time for this, so it was tough for me to finally get around to posting because i didn't want to disappoint anyone. also it was just sooo sad writing the last scene because i just didn't want it to end!! anywayyyy enjoy

wc: 14.6k (i know...i know...)

tags: @intrnetdoll @dazedshoon @lovecaraya @pctcr @sariyaflowr @loser-keiji @prettyplant0 @666findgod @sawaagyapong @rystarkov @buzzybuzzsposts @addisonnie @galacticstxrdust @elliesbabygirl​ @pinkazelma @ariianelle @lu002 @blairfox04 @sparkleswonderland @elliesflower @muthafuckingstargirl @elliewilliamsissubermommyoml @eviestevie-14 @quicksilversg1rl @guacala @crtcrp @overtrred28 @sugarqueencosmos @iriswalrus @chiao1209 @lovecaraya @thatgiraffefromtlou @alwayslongingforyou @thelastofshimmer

May 16th, 2029

Welcome to AskAI! Enter your questions below and I'll try my best to answer :) 

How does Cordyceps spread?

Ophiocordyceps unilateralis is mostly commonly spread between humans by the medium of bodily fluids, though this was not always the case. In the early stages of the outbreak, most carriers were infected by the presence of Ophiocordyceps unilateralis spores in flour from a Jakartan mill. It is still unclear how the contamination occurred. 

Is saliva included in bodily fluids that carry Cordyceps?

Yes, Ophiocordyceps unilateralis can be spread through human saliva. Other bodily fluids include blood, feces, mucus, and semen.

So if someone were to kiss someone infected with Cordyceps, would that person be infected too?

Yes, because Ophiocordyceps unilateralis can be spread through human saliva. 

How long would it take before seeing symptoms?

If Ophiocordyceps unilateralis spores were to be introduced to an individual via mouth-to-mouth transmission, the approximate incubation window has been recorded to be no longer than 8 hours.

How long would it take to be detected by a standard testing device?

Our testers would detect the presence of Ophiocordyceps unilateralis within an hour after exposure. Note that this only refers to the conditions outside of Terranova. There has never been a detected case of Ophiocordyceps unilateralis in Terranova’s history. 

Thank you.

You’re welcome! Please leave feedback on the AskAI Feedback Form if you have any ideas as to how I can improve <3

One year later

“And there’s no way we can skip?” 

“You know the rules.”

Dina rolled her eyes and sighed as you two stood at the door of your parents’ penthouse, waiting to knock. “Maybe if you went and I said that I was sick or something.”

“They’d know you were lying.”

“They’d probably be happy if I missed dinner.” 

“I don’t know if happy is something they can be,” you said. You tried to make it light and joking, but it came out with the heaviness of truth. “Plus, they’re not exactly thrilled with me either.”

“Not exactly thrilled” was the understatement of the century. Ever since you’d come home with a pregnant outsider toting a gun and covered in dirt, your parents had convinced themselves that you’d somehow become corrupted over your time living outside. 

But Dina had it way worse. Your parents were so scandalized by her rugged ways and the fact that she’d gotten pregnant out of wedlock that they’d nearly fainted upon realizing you were advocating for her Terranovan citizenship. 

You both had had the good fortune of avoiding any further tense interactions with them for the last few months, but that morning you’d awoken to an email that contained an invitation to their home for dinner. It was noted that Dina had to attend.

So here you two were. Dressed in uncomfortable, stiff clothes and nervously twiddling your thumbs. 

“You’re going to be fine,” you promised Dina. It sounded like a lie. “I’ll do most of the talking, okay?”

“If you say so.” 

You rang the doorbell.

It took just a few moments before the door swung open.

“Hi Chris!” you greeted, plastering a smile on your face. 

Your family housekeeper smiled back with a neutral warmth. She looked slightly thinner than you remembered when you saw her last just a few months ago. “Hello. Miss Dina, please remember to keep your shoes on this time.” 

Dina flushed bright red. The last time she’d come over for dinner, she’d taken her shoes off and had been given a very stern lecture by your mother about how improper stockinged feet were for dinner. “Of course not, ma’am.” 

You sent her an apologetic look and stepped inside.

“Your parents are in the sitting room,” Chris told you as she took your coats. 

You thanked her.

“Why don’t they ever come up to greet us themselves?” Dina whispered to you. 

You shrugged. “No clue. They just never have. They probably don’t want to have to take a break from whatever stimulating conversation they’re having about the country club happenings.”

She snorted. All of a sudden, you were overwhelmed by a sense of gratitude for Dina and her spirit. After your family had essentially decided you were hopeless, family get-togethers had become torture. Dina was your lifeline.

As Chris had said, your parents were found lounging in the sitting room, your mother fanning herself with one hand and holding what looked to be a gin and tonic in the other, your father sitting across from her in a tastefully worn armchair. 

“Girls,” your mother greeted. Her eyes looked flinty and flat. “How good of you to come. I was worried you’d lost your way.”

It was a classic Y/L/N insult for latecomers, but it was barely a minute past 6:30. 

“The elevator wasn’t working,” you offered. “We had to take the stairs.”

“Hm. Well, come and sit. Petra can get you a drink.” 

A tall girl who couldn’t have been much younger than you was standing at the other end of the room next to the bar. She had bright ginger hair that stood out starkly against the neutral beige of her uniform and a small, squatty nose. You’d never seen her before in your life. 

“Is she new?” you asked.

“Who, Petra? Oh, I think so. It must’ve been…oh, I’m not sure. This March, I believe? What do you think, darling?”

“Around then.” The solid ice globe slid against the glass with a clink as your father answered, taking a long pull of his bourbon after. 

“It’s nice to meet you,” said Dina politely.

Your mother let out a labored sigh. “Dear, I’m very glad to see you working on manners, but there’s no need to engage with the help.”

Dina didn’t answer, instead sending you a meaningful look. 

“Well, not usually,” she continued. “Though it is appropriate to interact with them in matters that are considered strictly business. Take, for example, the fact that neither of you have managed to order a drink yet. Petra, come.”

You stared at your hands, folded tightly in your lap. If there was anything you hated more than your parents, it was how they treated the help. And, though you’d never say it out loud, you didn’t understand how two middle aged adults needed more than one full-time housekeeper on hand. Chris made sense. Petra was entirely unnecessary. 

“We really don’t need anything,” you said to Petra when she was in front of you, looking rather pale. “But thank you.” 

The tension in the air refused to dissipate, not even when you were relocated to the dining room and had the crutch of picking away at the three courses served to you. 

Dina, having been thoroughly scolded by your mother the last time she dined with her, was clinical in choosing which utensil to use for each course. 

Your mother babbled on and on about the country club and the book club. Your father occasionally butted in with a few dull, lifeless comments. There was something especially dead in his appearance, like he was running on zero sleep.

“You may be curious as to why I asked you two here today,” your mother said after the main course plates had been cleared. “First of all, I wanted to extend my congratulations to my daughter for graduating in just a few days.” 

“Thank you,” you said stiffly. 

“And more importantly—” 

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes.

“—I wanted to announce that your father will finally be retiring,” she said. “He’s been working so hard for the last few years. Isn’t this wonderful?”

“That’s really great, Father,” you said, feigning a smile to hide your confusion. You hadn’t known that your father had even worked, much less hard enough to warrant a formal retirement. 

“Thanks, dove,” he said.

“When’s your last day?” you pried, wondering if you could manage any more information out of him. 

“This Friday.”

“Hm.” So much for that. You exchanged glances with Dina as Petra reappeared with a tray of small goblets filled with colorful globes of sorbet. 

“You’ll both be expected to be in attendance at his retirement party,” Mother added. She was frowning deeper now. 

“Even me?” said Dina.

“Yes.” She smiled tightly. “And please note that they’re unaware that we helped you through your…little problem. I can’t imagine why that would ever come up in conversation, but I would really prefer it didn’t.”

“Uh huh,” responded Dina, her eyes wide. 

When Dina had arrived, your family had given her two options—have her child and give it up for adoption, or terminate the pregnancy then and there in secret. Refusing to comply would lead to your parents being entirely unwilling to sponsor her citizenship as it was far too unseemly to be an unmarried mother. Though it was clear your parents thought she was devastated by the prospect, she’d confided in you later that she hadn’t realized that that had been an option for her. She’d taken the second option without a second thought, telling you that she didn’t feel ready to be a mother. 

The unfortunate part of it all was that your parents held this over her head on occasion, using it as leverage to make Dina feel like she owed them. Hence why she never felt entirely comfortable with telling them off. 

That your parents had kept the abortion a secret was hardly a surprise. Abortion was one of those issues that no one liked to talk about. Though it wasn’t the hardest procedure to get, it was never publicly discussed. You’d never personally known of anyone who had gotten one before, but the clinic had been so full when you’d attended with Dina nearly a year ago that you were beginning to second guess that fact. 

“Anyway,” said your mother lightly, “Darling, have you heard anything from the Thompsons recently?” 

“Oh, no. I haven’t seen Richard in quite some time.”

“It’s funny you say that. Melanie was supposed to host the Garden Club party last week, and you’ll never believe what happened.”

“What, honey?” Your father stared dully at the tablecloth, entirely unengaged. 

“When I stopped by, the rest of the girls were already there,” your mother said. “Just sitting out in front of her building looking very confused. I walked right up and asked what was going on—you know, now that I’m co-president, I need to keep things in order—”

“Yes, honey.”

“—And Angie tells me that they’ve been ringing her for ten minutes and she hasn't answered. I decided to give her a call, and straight to voicemail. So we all sat out there until it started raining. We never even got an apology text.” 

“Oh,” said your father, looking a little more engaged. “Is that really?”

“Yes,” your mother said. The attention made her sit up straighter. “It absolutely was. It was incredibly inappropriate. I couldn’t believe it. And to think that she stole that hosting spot from me…”

“Do you know if she’s alright?” your father asked,

She shrugged. “I should hope not. That’s the only excuse she could have for what happened.”

“Hm.” Your father moved the melting sorbet around without clinking his spoon to the crystal. “It seems that quite a few of us have been dropping off the face of the Earth.”

“It must be because of the long winter,” you said diplomatically. “Too much darkness makes us all a little loony.”

Your mother raised a brow and hummed in assent. “I suppose so.”

“Is that why groceries are so expensive now?” you asked. It had become a new development. About 6 months after you and Dina had returned, the prices on the shelves had rocketed upwards.

“Something like that,” your father said vaguely. 

“What does that mean?”

“Y/N,” your mother warned.

“It’s alright, dear,” your father said, waving his hand. “It’s really nothing interesting. Supplying this city has always had its challenges. This year just happens to be especially hard.”

“What kind of challenges?” pried Dina.

“Shipments are always difficult to orchestrate,” he said. “As is quality control. It’s nothing that we haven’t seen before. Prices will go back to usual within a few months. The pendulum always has to swing back.”

It was a saying he always used—the pendulum analogy.

Dessert wrapped up quickly. Your mother gave you the official date for your father’s retirement party and ironed out your graduation details, and before you knew it you and Dina were off into the night. 

“Thank fucking god that’s over,” said Dina as you two trotted down the street to the metro. 

“Tell me about it.” You zipped up your jacket to ward off the slight chill in the evening air. “I’m really sorry you had to deal with all of that. I appreciate you coming with me. I know they’re awful to you.”

“Well, they’ll be worse if I don’t go,” she responded, her eyes cloudy for a second. She was right. One misstep and they could have her citizenship and their financial sponsorship rescinded. 

“True,” you conceded. 

The metro was bustling with people as you and Dina hopped on to the yellow line that would take you to the university residences. It was modeled right after the Parisian metros, with its Art Nouveau signs and themed stops.  There was only standing room, so you two clutched onto the stainless steel poles in the middle. 

The doors made a groaning sound and a speaker crackled as the announcer came on.

“Doors closing. Please stand clear of the exits. This is an express train with service to University Park. Other stops include 25th Street and North Village. There will be no evening service to Rotingham.” 

You and Dina seemed to come to an unspoken agreement to remain silent and process the hell that had been dinner with your parents as the train lurched forward into motion. You closed your eyes and would’ve rested your head against the handrail had it not been so gross. 

The only fortunate thing about your parents was the fact that they were incredibly easy to get to, despite living on the other side of the city from the university. What would’ve normally taken 40 minutes with transfers was cut down to 15 with the use of an express train that ran right from the station outside of your apartment. 

You had resolved to just sit in silence when the train came to a screeching halt. 

Your eyes shot open, meeting Dina’s confused gaze. 

The lights above flickered, then sputtered out to leave you in darkness. 

There was a hushed silence amongst everyone in your train car. 

“What’s going on?” Dina whispered to you. 

“This happens sometimes,” you said quietly back, but it was sort of a lie. It wasn’t entirely uncommon for the lights to go out, but you’d never had it happen in tandem with a train stopping on the tracks before reaching a station. And especially not an express train…

The lights flickered on again, and there was a shared sense of relief as a few of the train’s occupants let out a shaky laugh. 

“Thought we were going to have to walk!” said a ruddy looking old man sitting across from you. The car responded with polite chuckles. 

“Apologies for the delay,” came a voice over the loudspeaker—a human voice, not an automated one. “There was a disturbance on the tracks that had to be dealt with. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused. Service will continue as usual.”

The train lurched back into movement, the dark walls of the tunnel moving past in a blur.

“That was weird,” Dina remarked once you two had gotten to your stop and were walking up to ground level.

“Yeah,” you said, frowning. “I didn’t want to tell you then because I didn’t want to freak you out, but normally express trains never stop, especially not at this time of night with less trains in service.”

“What qualifies as a disturbance on the tracks?”

“I have no clue,” you confessed. The sun was hovering just barely over the horizon, its last rays of light reflecting aggressively off of the skyscrapers in the distance from which you came. “Someone probably dropped something big like a suitcase onto the tracks and blocked the way. It happens.” 

You were purposefully avoiding the elephant in the room—that it had probably been a person on the tracks. It wasn’t especially common—not nearly as common as you heard it was in places like New York before the outbreak—but it happened on occasion. Terranova wasn’t the best place for everyone.

“The Thompsons are Simon’s family, right?” Dina asked you. She had to raise her voice to be heard over the cheerful chatter of fellow university students socializing and drinking on the green next to the sidewalk.

“Yeah,” you said. You and Dina had occasionally hung out with Simon since returning. You noticed that Simon had really taken a liking to Dina, but neglected to mention it since his parents were actively attempting to arrange a marriage between him and some girl in the Art History program at your school. “Have you talked to him at all? I haven’t heard from him for a week or so.”

“Me neither.” Dina tightened the dark braid that fell over her shoulder as she walked, looking rather troubled. “I didn’t realize his parents were missing.”

“They’re probably fine,” you said. “I seriously wouldn’t worry about it. There’s nothing here that could hurt them.”

“You’re right,” she said. “I just forget that there’s no infected here sometimes. Like, tonight, I thought I was gonna have to start swinging on someone in the train when the power cut.” 

“God, same.” You shivered. “It’s weird to know that we don’t have to worry about that anymore. But I think it’ll get easier with time.”

“Yeah,” said Dina, but she didn’t sound convinced. “Well, I’m going to text Simon and see if he’s alright. Or maybe call him. I’m sure he’ll know what happened.” 

“Let me know what he says.” You’d ascended the steps up to your shared apartment and were slotting the key into the keyhole. “By the way, did I ever formally invite you to my graduation?”

“Not that I recall.” Dina followed you in and kicked her shoes off.

“Well, consider this your formal invitation,” you said, turning to grin at her. “It’s this Saturday. Be there or be square.”

“Will there be free food?”

“And anything you want to drink,” you told her, though you weren’t entirely sure of that fact. You’d only ever been to one graduation in your life, and that had been years before it was socially acceptable for you to drink anything beyond the odd glass of watered down wine—but you recalled a memory of particularly free-flowing champagne flutes being passed around. 

“Consider me sold.” 

~

You had to be going crazy. There was no way. 

You entered the numbers back into the graphing software again. Then again. Then one more time, just to be sure you were seeing what you were seeing. 

“Everything going alright over there?” asked old Professor Gunther, looking up from his grading and his steaming cup of tea. 

“Um—” You blinked, hard, then looked back down at your calculations. “Professor, can you look at these for me? I think I must’ve made a mistake.”

“Of course, my dear.” He graciously accepted the notepad full of barely legible numbers that you came up to hand to him and adjusted the glasses on his face so he could squint more efficiently. “And what is this exactly?”

“I’ve been parsing through the data on that star—that K star you’d been watching for a while—and, um, I’ve noticed something.” Your voice shook nearly as much as your hand as you pointed to the scribbled numbers. “Can you, uh, graph these? And put them into a different program than StarBlast? And look at the spectra? It’s giving me what I think is—actually, I don’t know. You do it and I’ll show you what I got.” 

“I’m confused about what you could have possibly done wrong,” he said, though he was already opening his own laptop and starting up a different program that you hadn’t used before because of how much you hated the GUI. “Did you try to parse it by hand to check?”

“Yes,” you said. “Horrible idea. Took me forever.” 

“And you got the same result?”

“Yeah.”

“Hm.” He took off his glasses to wipe them off, then began typing in the data you’d emailed to him earlier for bookkeeping purposes. “Let me see what I have.” 

The agonizing few minutes it took for him to enter him already had your mind spiraling with possibilities as the implications sunk in. If you were right—if this was right—everything was going to change in your field. 

The spectra graph roared to life.

“Jesus Christ,” you heard your professor say. “Is this—”

“I think so,” you said. “I think so.”

What you two were looking at held more than one piece of crucial information. The first was nothing but basic calculations of a Doppler Shift that detected that there was a planet. Your calculations estimated its size at roughly the same as the Earth, with a similar orbital period and distance from its star that placed it in the habitable zone.

That wasn’t anything earth-shattering. There were plenty of Earth-sized planets in the habitable zone, implying that if the conditions were right, there was an environment conducive to organic life. 

What was, however, were the spectra emissions that you were staring at, slack-jawed and skin prickling. 

“Methane,” you whispered. “And oxygen. And phosphine.” 

And not just a little—enough that it suggested biological processes that could only occur with the presence of life.

“I think you should finish writing this report,” Professor Gunther finally said. 

You froze. “What?” 

He turned to you, his glasses sliding down his bulbous nose and a kind smile on his face. “I’ve made enough discoveries in my life. This one is yours to claim.” 

You were overcome with so much gratitude that you launched yourself at him, throwing your arms around his neck and hugging him tightly.

Gunther good-naturedly patted your back with the enthusiasm of a grandfather being pestered by his grandchildren. “This is your moment. Take it.” 

“Thank you,” you said, pulling back with tears welling up in your eyes. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” 

He smiled again. “It’s truly my pleasure. I feel lucky to have had a student like you.” 

“If you don’t stop, I’m going to start crying.”

“We can’t have that,” he said, standing up and handing you back your sheet of calculations. “You have work to do.”

You settled back into your work across from him, nearly buzzing with excitement as you finished typing up your findings. It would be a long process for the study to actually be published—long, painful, and undoubtedly draining—but it would be so worth it. You’d be the one who discovered a planet that (most likely) harbored life. For the first time in history. 

Though you wouldn’t be publishing a paper any time soon, you still had to log the planet into the “global” (not exactly global given that there was no other place on Earth with the same technology as Terranova) database. And with that meant giving it a name.

In that moment, it was like time froze as the cursor blinked in the box. There was nothing but the blood rushing in your head, the dull hum of the fluorescent lights above, and the slight stickiness of the leather desk chair beneath you. 

You gulped. It was standard in the department to name planets after the astronomer that discovered them. You’d never had a planet named after you before. You’d only ever crunched numbers that Gunther had given to you to analyze spectra emissions. This was the first time you’d ever actually discovered something that hadn’t already been logged before it had landed on your desk.

And yet…

You closed your eyes. Suddenly you were back in the meadow at Jackson, tracing the wisps of the Milky Way with your finger as you and Ellie talked about the constellations. You saw the childish excitement on her normally stern features when she held the moon rock for the first time. You saw the wonder in her eyes when you told her a new space fact that she’d never heard before. That she’d never had the opportunity to learn before. 

Your fingers moved before you could stop them, quickly tapping out the name “Ellie” into the box and hitting the enter button. 

For the rest of the day, you regretted it. You tried not to think of her anymore. It was something that you’d promised yourself you wouldn’t do after you spent the entirety of last summer miserable and doing nothing but turning over the memories in your mind until Dina made you do something with her. 

It was difficult. You wanted to put it in the past, because you couldn’t think about her without thinking about how she probably wasn’t even alive anymore. Which didn’t make any sense. Nothing ever made any sense about Ellie. Even before you predicted she’d been bitten, she’d already been behaving erratically—not packing her things, not saying a real goodbye to Joel, catching more food than their small group of three could possibly need near the end. It was like she knew that she wouldn’t be able to go.

Which didn’t make any sense, because why go all that way knowing that it was for nothing?

Which made you think about how bizarre she was before leaving. How sad she seemed when she told you that she was going, like even then she knew that it wouldn’t happen. 

And you hadn’t gotten sick from her, even though you should have. She’d kissed you long after she would’ve been bitten. And you knew from your frantic research upon arriving that you should have tested positive when Simon checked. 

So why hadn’t you? And why had she?

It was things like this that could keep you up for days if you weren’t careful. It was awful, but sometimes you liked to believe that she had really been sick and had died shortly after. You had a vision of her killing herself before fully turning, and even though it hurt to imagine it, it was the most humane end of them all. If she was dead, then maybe there was an afterlife, and maybe a piece of her was watching over you. Maybe she was still with you. Maybe she finally was able to rest. 

You hoped that little piece of her had seen her name the first planet with life after her.

A tiny smile crept across your face, but inside you felt devastated. You were going to mourn her again all day, like you always did when something reminded you of her. And you were probably going to dream of her, of her stupid grin and the way her hair felt when it tickled your face. 

Pull it together you thought glumly. You had to be normal for your father’s retirement party that night, and you had just under 4 hours to do so. 

~

“Ugh,” you said, staring at your phone as you stood with Dina near the door, both of you dolled up and ready to go to the party.

“That’s how I feel too,” said Dina. “I’m going to kill myself if anyone brings up anything about how hard my childhood must’ve been and how I’m doing such a good job adjusting one more time.”

“Ha,” you said. “Mom just texted me to tell me that we need to stop by theirs first.”

“Why? Aren’t they already at the venue?”

“Yeah,” you responded, wrinkling your nose. “But apparently she forgot her gift for him—some vintage Rolex she got restored for him.”

“A vintage what?”

“Stupidly overpriced wristwatch,” you explained. 

It took less time than usual to get to their building. Despite it being at peak busy hour, the platforms seemed eerily empty.

“Is there some holiday going on?” Dina asked, sitting across from you so that you both had your own row of seats. 

“Oh, I’m such an idiot,” you said, clapping your forehead with your hand. “Of course there is. That’s why my father held his retirement party today. It’s the first day of this festival that goes all week.”

“What’s it for?”

“I honestly don’t know the background,” you admitted. “Most people just use it as an excuse to get incredibly drunk. I think it has something to do with the founding. It’s, like, the only time that public intoxication is okay.” 

“Damn,” said Dina thoughtfully. 

“The trains will probably fill up on our way back,” you said, sighing. “Hopefully it won’t be too bad. Worst comes to worst we can walk.”

“It gets that bad?” 

“There’s hardly standing room,” you said, recalling the last festival you’d been around for—the summer before you’d been catapulted to Jackson. “And it just reeks of drunk people. And you have to be really careful, because I hear the custodial staff has to work overtime to clean up all the vomit.” 

“Gross,” said Dina. “And here I was thinking that it was just all being proper and mannerly.”

“Everyone has their limits,” you said lightly.

The penthouse felt just as oppressive as when you came for dinners, like you were walking into the lair of a dragon who was coming back at any moment. Chris was gone—likely participating in the festival herself—but you were surprised to see the figure of Petra bent in a corner as you entered, dusting the top shelf of their bookcase.

You and Dina politely greeted her before ascending the steps to your father’s office.

“Why did your Mom put it in here?” Dina asked as you began shuffling through papers to find the box that your mother had described over text.

“My father doesn’t work in here all too often,” you said, opening a few drawers and seeing no trace of the green and gold box. “He just uses it to file away things.” 

“What does he do?” 

“I actually have no clue,” you confessed. “He doesn’t talk about it, and I don’t ask.” 

“Do you want to see if we can find out?” Dina asked with a conspiratorial raise of her eyebrow as she motioned towards the filing cabinets. “Just a quick look. They’ll never know that we were here.”

You took a moment to consider. If Chris had answered the door to let you two in, you would’ve told her that you couldn’t, because she would definitely snitch if she knew. But she was nowhere to be seen, and Petra looked like she was busy enough downstairs. 

“Sure. Why not.” 

The first few cabinets held nothing interesting—just spending reports and copies of contracts that were written in legalese. 

“It looks like he works with whoever supplies this place,” remarked Dina as you two skimmed the papers and saw records of contacts all over the continent, from the old continental US and South America, each detailing something boring about shipping dates and inventory. 

But then came the third cabinet, with papers dated back before you were born with what looked like sketches of barren looking buildings and hand-scrawled notes. 

“What are these?” you breathed, laying them out on the ground. 

“I think…” Dina squinted. “I think that these might be manufacturing plants?” 

“Oh?” You dug further around in the cabinet to see if you could find any further illuminating evidence. 

“Yeah,” said Dina, staring as she began to flip through the pages already on the floor. “Holy shit, dude. This is…sort of messed up. Look at how small these living quarters are.”

You peered over her shoulder to see the architectural sketches of what looked to be more of what you imagined a prison to be. There were long bunks stacked on top of each other in what looked to be a never ending line, the mattresses barely even large enough to be considered twins. 

Someone cleared their throat behind you, and you nearly leapt.

“I hope I’m not interrupting,” said Petra. Her voice was low and raspy. You noted that it was the first time she’d ever spoken.

“Oh, uh—” You began to frantically gather the papers, hoping she hadn’t seen. Would she tell your parents? “Sorry if we disturbed your work. My parents, uh, they asked us to get something from—”

“It’s fine,” she interrupted, holding up a hand. “I won’t say anything.”

“Thank you.” You stared up at her steely green eyes, wondering what had compelled her to approach you and Dina. “Um, is there anything we can do to help you?”

“Don’t drink the bourbon,” she said, so quickly that it seemed to fluster her. 

“What? Why?”

“Just don’t do it,” she said again. “Better yet, don’t drink anything except for the water.”  

“I’m sorry,” you said, feeling genuinely apologetic. “I’m not sure if I understand.”

Something crossed over Dina’s face, and suddenly something in her seemed to shift. Her features paled. She knew something you didn’t.

“I came from one of those places,” Petra said, motioning to the diagrams that you were staring at. “They’re not—they’re not somewhere you want to be. We all try our best to come here. That’s what they tell us, you know. Do well enough and you’ll get sent to where everyone gets to live a life of grandeur and luxury. But they barely send anyone, and when they do, they get shitty positions like this.” 

Your breath caught in your throat as your understanding slowly grew. Of course. How had you been so stupid to think that wealthy people were ever going to have any of their kind work any real job? 

“You two were the ones who came from outside, right?” Petra continued. When you two nodded, she crouched next to you. “And you were wondering what was going on with the prices?”

You nodded again, awestruck.

“Your Dad’s little spiel on it being about bad weather is bullshit,” she said, her words hard. “People are getting tired of this. They’re realizing they’re never getting out. You know what it’s like out there—it’s scary. It’s tiring. So many people get sick, so many die. So when people finally caught onto the fact that the work they’re doing is nothing but dressed up slavery and that their chances of getting out are basically zero, they start doing things to mess with the system.”

“Like contaminating the products?” Even as she said it, it seemed like Dina already knew the answer. 

Petra just gave you two a long look. 

“So that’s what he meant by quality control,” you said, the realization hitting you. 

“Among other things.” 

“How long do you think we have?” asked Dina.

“Not very long at all.” 

“You guys can’t be serious,” you said, nervous laughter catching in your chest. “Do you seriously mean that Terranova isn’t going to be around for much longer? Is that what you’re saying?”

Petra shrugged and stood up. “Believe whatever you want. But from where I stand, it looks like there’s only two possible ways out of this situation. That is, unless you guys all become farmers.”

“I don’t think I’m following,” you said.

“Two options,” Petra said, sighing heavily. “Either we starve or we don’t. And the latter means taking a really big fucking chance on what we bring in.”

“But the system has worked for so long,” you said, more to yourself than anyone else. 

“Too long,” she amended. “It was never sustainable. Maybe if you people had been okay with just eating native plants and wildlife. Maybe if you people were okay with changing your way of life. But no, you just had to have your fucking oranges from Florida and your coffee from South America.” 

“Don’t lump me into this,” said Dina. “I just got here.” 

Petra laughed, but it was a hard and sharp sound. “Well, chances are you won’t be here for long.”

“Hang on,” you said. “We’re still doing quality control inspections. The most likely scenario is that we’re going to have to cut down on imports—not that we’re about to go up in flames any minute.”

“I hope you’re right about that,” she said in that voice that told you that she thought that you definitely weren’t and didn’t see the point in arguing further. “Anyways, I’ve got to finish working so I can get home before dark. Be careful, okay?” 

“You too,” you said. “And thanks for…not saying anything.”

It was a bit presumptuous considering that Petra hadn’t really given you any good reason beyond her word that she wouldn’t mention you lurking in your father’s cabinets, so you and Dina were thorough in carefully placing each file back into the correct place, just in case. 

“Do you really think what she said is true?” you asked once you and Dina had located the watch and were on the metro once again.

Dina shrugged. “I mean, it makes sense.”

“Does it?”

“Look,” said Dina. “I know that this might be hard for you to hear, but I’m pretty sure this place lives off of what’s basically slave labor. If there’s any humanity left in the world, I would like to think that Terranova would eventually fall.” 

You swallowed hard, then blinked. For a moment you thought you were going to throw up. “I never knew. I didn’t realize.”

“Of course you didn’t.” Dina’s voice was surprisingly patient. “You were a kid. But you’re not anymore, so it’s time to grow up and face the music.”

“I don’t know what to do.”

“I don’t either.” 

The two of you fell into a silence as the train sped past empty platforms bathed in shadows and you thought and thought and thought. 

There was just too much happening today. First Gunther’s lab, then Ellie, now your entire worldview toppling. 

As the train windows continued to blur the background of the tunnels and empty stations, your mind spun with reflections of your childhood—of you enjoying simple luxuries that you didn’t realize came at the expense of others. That you didn’t even think to ask about. You’d mindlessly trudged along, eating your exotic fruits and drinking your expensive tea and wearing clothes built from indulgent fabrics just because you could. Even when Dina had asked where the oranges came from all the way back in Jackson, you hadn’t let yourself wonder. You hadn’t let yourself consider the possibility that it was anything less than the sanitized fairyland that you’d been brought up in—perhaps because you knew all along. 

And that made it even worse.

Dina seemed to understand, sending you a few glances without prodding. 

“Do you think we need to leave?” you asked, your voice just barely a whisper.

“Us leaving isn’t going to do anything,” Dina said, like she’d been expecting it. “And how would we even do that? It’s not like we can just charter a helicopter again to drop us off back in Jackson.” 

Something twisted inside of you. “Oh, God. You’re right. We couldn’t even leave if we tried.”

And you might have to try, a sinister voice inside you whispered. What if Petra was right about the contaminated products? What if they missed something when checking imports?

You’d never been taught how quickly the fungus spread in the original outbreak, and you knew little about the normal amount of time it would take any sort of disease to infect the entire population. But you did know how densely populated everything was. How reliant everything was on a few strictly maintained channels, like public transportation. 

It wouldn’t be hard for it to all come crashing down, really. It would just take the right place at the right time and—

“Don’t freak out, Y/N.” Dina laid a hand on your shoulder. “We’ll figure something out if it comes to that.” 

You smiled at her, grateful that you didn’t even have to put your words into thoughts. “But if we can’t leave, what do we do? It’s not like we can just sit by and do nothing.”

Dina pulled her bottom lip under her teeth, worrying it before answering. “I don’t really think that we have a choice. Right now, at least. I don’t know if there’s anything that just the two of us can do.”

“I’ll find more,” you said. “I’ll talk to my professors—my friends at university—Simon—”

“Do you think that we’re the only two that know about this?” asked Dina. “Because I really don’t. Maybe your friends don’t. But anyone in the military and anyone who was around when this was founded has got to know. They just don’t care enough.”

Something slowly iced over inside of you as the implications sunk in. 

Gunther had probably known. No, scratch that—he definitely did. He was an academic who had been in his 30s when the world fell apart. Any adult would have asked the same questions that Dina had upon arrival. 

“We’ll figure something out, I’m sure,” said Dina firmly. “Okay? Don’t worry.” 

“Speaking of Simon,” you said, narrowing your eyes, “Did you ever get in touch with him? Is his family okay?” 

“Oh, yeah.” said Dina. “He texted me back a bit ago. Said something about how he was just busy and that his family had been camping up in the mountains.” 

You two faded into silence. 

The retirement party came and went without much trouble. On the outside, at least. You were a mental wreck, barely able to keep it together as near strangers came up to you and expressed how much bigger you were since they’d seen you a decade and a half ago. 

You noted with muted suspicion that Simon’s parents were nowhere to be seen amongst the crowd, not even by the lavishly decorated bar. 

~

That night, you did dream of Ellie. It wasn’t the usual. Ellie wasn’t turning in front of you or bleeding or crying out in pain with a bite mark on her arm. She wasn’t yelling at you for failing her and letting her get bitten without even noticing. No; instead, she lay beside you in your meadow spot and talked to you.

And somehow that was so much worse.

“I named a planet after you,” you said, feeling hot tears pool at the seams of your eyes that you squeezed together to avoid sobbing. You knew you were dreaming. You always knew you were dreaming—seeing Ellie always seemed to prompt a degree of lucidity that was otherwise missing in your sleep. 

“That’s really fucking sappy of you.”

“I miss you.” It came out like a compulsion, like you couldn’t stop it. “Are you here? Are you with me?”

“Y/N,” Ellie said, turning to look at you. The darkness made it difficult to see her whole face, but you could see the look of pity on her features in the gray-blue of the moonlight. “Of course I’m not here. Don’t be stupid. I’m dead.”

“Sometimes I wonder if you’re not. Like, if something happened.”

“Something did happen. I died.” 

“Fuck you.”

She smiled sadly, and for a moment you thought her eyes looked more reflective than usual. “It’s not very helpful to think that way. And what can I tell you? I’m not even real.”

“I’d like you to try,” you whispered.

“Fine.” She sat up, pulling her legs into a lazy tangle as she looked at you. “What did you seriously expect, dude? You were never going to stay. I wasn’t going to go. If I hadn’t been bitten, I’m sure I would’ve orchestrated some way to get out of it. My family is back in Jackson. I liked you just fine, but you’re not my family. That shit’s deeper. Different.” 

You opened your mouth, then closed it, then opened it again. The sharp pain in your chest faded into a cold sense of familiarity. Then, because she wasn’t real and there was no reason to feel embarrassed about bearing your emotions: 

“You feel more like family than anyone here.” 

“Then that sounds like a you problem,” said Ellie, flatly. “I’m not gonna let you guilt trip me like this. Boo fucking hoo, you grew up richer than everyone else on Earth and had to deal with strict parents. Do you realize what actual, real problems are? What about the people who make your lifestyle possible, huh? What about them?”

“I didn’t know.”

“Then you’re fucking stupid.” 

The tears were streaming freely down your face now. “I would do anything to be back with you. I wanted to stay. I miss you so much. I don’t know what to do with myself without you.”

“And I’m sorry you have to deal with that.” 

“Will you just say that you miss me too? You don’t have to mean it. I just want—I just want to hear it.” 

“I can’t miss you. I’m not around anymore.” 

Ellie watched as you curled in on yourself and sobbed so hard you thought you were going to be sick. 

“You’re so weak,” she said after a few minutes. There was no venom in her tone. It was as if she was merely relaying something as inconsequential as the weather to you. “All you do is expect other people to care for you.” 

Not real. Not real. Not real you repeated to yourself in your mind with growing franticness. 

She wasn’t real. None of this was real. Ellie was never that affectionate with you, but this was another level. This was something personal. 

“You said that being weak isn’t bad.”

“And you said that you were going to make sure I was going to get to Terranova.”

 “And it’s not my fault that you decided to go gallivanting alone in the woods.”

“You could’ve tried harder.”

“I did as much as I could.”

“Sure you did.” 

You bolted awake. The hair at the nape of your neck was wet with the slick of sweat. For a moment, you let yourself catch your breath, reorient yourself in your surroundings. 

Your room. You were in your dorm room, with your space posters and your books. Ellie hadn’t been here. She hadn’t said that. You were okay.

A blaring noise jarred you as you realized that your alarm had made you wake up. Your alarm, because it was graduation day and you needed to be ready for a full day of festivities. 

“Fuck,” you muttered, scrubbing your face with you hands. The last thing you wanted to do after this was have to see your parents and pretend like you like them for appearances. 

She's gone. She's gone. She's gone you repeated in your head like a mantra. It was over. You shouldn’t have named that stupid planet after her, because she was gone and she always would be.

It would only be a matter of time until your parents would start asking you about your dating life, you realized as you brushed your teeth over the shiny white basin of your sink, the minty bubbles making your lips tingle. They’d been willing to entertain your reasoning of wanting to focus on your studies while you were at university, but you knew they’d been looking for prospective engagements behind your back.

It took you longer than usual to get ready, your mind wandering as you lingered in different corners of your apartment. You kept the lights off, opting to let the cool, gray daylight from the gloomy clouds wash the surfaces of your room. 

“Hey,” said Dina, appearing from her own room and leaning against the doorframe. 

“Good morning,” you greeted blandly, your attention on the necklace that just wouldn’t clasp around your neck.

“Looking spiffy,” she said. “By the way, did Simon say anything to you?” 

“No.” You paused and turned to her, a frown on her face. As far as you were concerned, you really had no reason to be in contact with Simon beyond the general pleasantries. 

“He just called me,” said Dina. “He seemed—I dunno. Like, weirdly frantic. He was saying that we need to stop by his.” 

“His” was inconveniently on the opposite side of the city, even further past your parents’ place. 

“Why? Pretty far for a short jaunt.” 

“He was really insistent,” pressed Dina. Her long black curls were unruly, her skin sallow in a way you hadn’t seen in a while. She hadn’t been sleeping as well recently, it seemed, just like you since you’d spoken to Petra. “Maybe we should just stop by.” 

“Did he say anything about why?”

“I tried to ask,” said Dina, frowning. “But the call dropped.”

“I hate how horrible service is in your room,” you said. 

“Me too. Anyway, are we gonna see him?” 

You shrugged. “I guess. We have some time. I’ll text him too just to see what’s going on.” 

Dina was ready in just a few minutes, pulling a light blue sweatshirt over her shirt and stepping into her shoes. 

“You look soooo cute,” she said, pinching your cheeks. “My little grad.”

You rolled your eyes, but the size of your smile ruined it. 

For once in your life, you noticed that the university green outside of your apartment was suspiciously empty. 

“Quiet,” Dina noted as you made your way to the metro. “It’s eerie.” 

“People were probably partying all night,” you said. “Celebrating graduation and whatnot. I imagine everyone’s sleeping off a hangover instead of having to get up at the crack of dawn to voyage across the city.”

Dina held up her hands. “Gee. Sorry.” 

The train was a little more populated. Some older Terranovans had newspapers cracked as they licked their fingers to turn the page. The silent hum of the train lulled you into another soliloquy as the tunnel plunged you into darkness.

You had to stop thinking about Ellie. You needed to move on, as awful as it was. You’d named a planet after her. She’d be forever remembered in the stars, and that should be enough. You didn’t need to keep dragging her memory behind you like a corpse, because she was dead and she was never coming back and she was—

On the platform?

Your mouth dropped as the doors of the train slowly rolled open to reveal a short girl with shoulder length auburn hair slowly ambling towards the platform. She was wearing a pale green short sleeve that had some sort of edgy spatter pattern on it—something that was very Ellie-esque. But something wasn’t…

It took you one breath to notice that neither of her bare arms had any tattoos. It took you another to see that what you had initially assumed to be a pattern was actually blood-soaked fabric formed from red rivelets that trickled from a wound on her neck.

“Holy fuck,” you whispered, grabbing Dina’s hand. “Do you see—”

“Everybody run!” Dina screamed, leaping up from the train seat and dragging you with her as she bolted off the train and to the opposite exit. 

The girl wailed and barrelled towards the train car, her eyes locking onto the nervous movement of the passengers. You froze. It was slowly becoming obvious that this wasn’t Ellie, from the slightly different set of her eyes to the unfamiliar button nose. But it was hard to not feel anything but sympathy for the monster before you. She was just a girl, probably younger than you. 

“Fucking go, Y/N,” Dina snapped, yanking you harder and onto the platform just as Not-Ellie leapt onto one of the newspaper readers. “It’s not her.” 

She didn’t need to tell you twice. In seconds you two had sprinted to the mouth of the stairs, feet pummeling against the pavement as the sounds of the carnage unfolding behind you followed. 

You ran. You didn’t stop running, not even when the screams faded and you and Dina were blocks and blocks away, hidden in an alley. Not even when your lungs were so empty and sore that they felt like they were breaths away from breaking, not even when you were sure there was nothing left inside you.

Dina kept your pace, blindly following your lead as you darted in between streets and side alleys until you reached your parents’ apartment. 

“Do you think there’s more?” you managed to whisper through heaving voices once you stood on the steps. 

You and Dina hadn’t ran into anyone after the metro, undead or alive. 

“Not here,” hissed Dina. “Inside first. Then we evaluate after we’re safer.” 

For a moment, the phantom dread from your normal life spilled over and you were afraid of facing your parents. It was almost laughable—there were deranged infected hosts looking to eat your flesh roaming the streets, and you were worried about seeing your parents. 

“I’d almost prefer out here, too,” said Dina, looking as if she’d read your mind. 

The apartment complex was also empty and eerily quiet as you two ascended the steps. Dina had insisted that you took the stairs, pointing out that the elevator was far too risky. 

“It might get stuck,” she’d whispered as she’d pulled you away from pressing the button. “Also—unnecessary noise.” 

You nodded wordlessly, following her up the steps until you reached the top floor.

Still no one to be seen.

The spare key was still hidden under the flower pot, and the penthouse door swung open easily. You and Dina locked it behind you before dragging a small bookcase in front of it, piling on books until no one could physically break through. 

“Sweep the apartment,” Dina said lowly, reaching over to grab the fireplace poker that was in the entryway. “Behind me until you get a weapon.” 

For a few tense moments, you cowered behind Dina as she navigated you both into the dark, empty kitchen. Every breath that left your lips was shaky and uneven. Your fingers trembled around the handle of the butcher’s knife that you’d retrieved from the block. 

Nothing was on the first floor. 

Nothing on the second floor, either. There was no sign of your parents anywhere. By all accounts, it seemed that they’d just up and left for coffee. Which is probably what they’d done, given that your father had just retired and had nothing better to do. 

“Fucking thank god,” you’d cried out once you’d swept the last room, collapsing onto the sitting room sofa. “Jesus Christ, Dina. What the fuck. I can’t believe I just—”

The words petered out as the adrenaline rush that had been keeping you at least someone composed dissipated, leaving you a shaking and inconsolable mess. 

“We’re so lucky that we got out in time,” said Dina, her eyes blurry and unfocused.

You took a break from your crying to look at her. “What?”

“The doors close automatically,” she said flatly. “No motion sensor. If that girl had shown up any later—if we hadn’t noticed her in time—”

“We would’ve been stuck on the train with her,” you said, cold realization trickling into you. “Oh my god. That probably happened to the people on the train who weren’t quick enough.”

“Or didn’t know any better,” Dina added. “Didn’t you say that no one here really understands what the infection is? That it makes people hosts?” 

Your heart dropped. “We’re so fucked. We need to get out.” 

“Have a plane anywhere?”

“Oh, god, Simon,” you wailed. “He was probably—he must’ve known—his parents must have—”

“Let’s not dwell,” said Dina firmly, brushing her hands off on her pants. “Okay. Let’s take inventory of the situation. That girl likely wasn’t patient zero. Wherever she came from was around…8th street?” 

You nodded.

“Right. 8th street, which is where the majority of non-student residential living spaces are. Chances are that if it wasn’t already, it’s all over that area. We came south, which is away from the most densely populated area and probably why we haven’t seen anyone else. We’re up high with what seems to be currently running water, no current activity in the building, and plenty of both perishable and nonperishable food. 

“But this isn’t permanent. The power grid is going to fail soon, and plumbing is likely going to go next. And if we somehow make it long enough, any infected in the building are going to turn into clickers, and they’ll stop at nothing to get in. Our window is limited. If we wait to get out, they’re going to get stronger and grow in numbers. We need to play this right.”

“So what you’re saying is that if there’s any possible chance of escape,” you said, feeling the blood drain from your face, “That we need to take it.”

Dina nodded, her face hard. 

“How long do you think we have until we have to make that choice?” 

She winced. “Probably 2 hours ago. There’s likely enough infected scattered around the city after the metro incident that it’s all over now.”

Your stomach dropped. 

“But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try,” said Dina. “It’s only going to get worse the longer we wait. So if that big fancy scientist brain of yours has any genius plans of how to get us out, please hurry it up and say so.” 

“Well,” you said, your mouth dry as you brainstormed aloud, “We are at the southern tip of the city. We’re probably not all that far from the border. The problem would be getting across—and, of course, getting there in the first place. It’s designed to be deceptive so that raiders can’t find it.” 

“We’re not going to cross the border,” said Dina. “We’re never getting across on foot unless it’s been destroyed. Simon told me about how it works. There’s quite literally zero chance unless we start tunneling underground.” 

“So no crossing on foot,” you said weakly. “Noted. Well. Uh. Can you fly a plane?”

“Depends. Do you have one?” 

You buried your face in your hands. 

“Come on, Y/N. Think. There has to be another option.” 

Another option. Another option. Think, think, think…

Scientist brain. Science. 

Like your degree. Like the lab you’d been working in last year. Like the ill-fated experiment that you’d scrapped after the university cut funding for it after your accident.

Like the time that you’d actually succeeded in inventing teleportation, even if it was accidental.

Like the contraption that was likely gathering dust in an unlocked lab room just a few blocks away. 

“Dina,” you said, “I’ve got it. But I need you to get me to Gunther’s lab.” 

The only good thing about today was the fact that Gunther’s lab, which was normally an inconvenient train ride away from your apartment, was in fact within perfectly reasonable walking distance from your parents’. 

There were many bad things, though. Namely the infected now roaming the streets. And the plumes of smoke rising in the distance, suggesting that the Terranovan authorities were attempting to quell the issue the old-fashioned way. 

With two knives and a pistol in your hand (you’d never been more happy to see something actually useful in your father’s antique collection), you were at least feeling more prepared to slowly creep back down the staircase of the building and out onto the streets. 

For the first two blocks, everything remained uneventful. You and Dina stuck close to the shadows, being careful not to speak, make any noise, or bump into anything noisy. 

Then a girl that looked somewhat familiar to you came stumbling around the corner, cloudy orange saliva dripping from her ashen lips. She locked onto you and began to excitedly chitter, her jerky movements becoming more pointed as she started approaching. 

“Knife,” Dina whispered, flicking your arm once she saw you raise your pistol. “Too loud.” 

It was your first kill without the help of a bullet. As the blade slid across the throat of the girl, you realized where you recognized her from—she’d been one of the students you’d tutored back in high school. You’d always liked her. Her name had been Liesel, and she was one of your best pupils. She’d been so bright. You thought she’d end up skipping senior year and just coming with you to college. 

Not anymore. You tried not to think too hard about the look you’d seen in her eyes right as you severed her carotid artery—something human, something cognisant. You couldn’t cope with what that implied. 

Did Ellie look like that? No, surely not. It’d been over a year. She was likely a clicker by now, her freckled face entirely swallowed by the spore shards. But was she still in there, like Liesel had been?

The next ones were easier—random men whose eyes remained flat and flinty even as you sent them to their ends. By the time you and Dina had broken into Gunther’s lab, you were splattered in blood and assorted mystery fluids. 

The sterile building was empty and deathly silent. Each step on the tiled floor echoed, the fluorescent lighting painfully bright. 

“Are there any workers in here usually?” Dina asked, her voice low. 

“Rarely,” you whispered back. “It’s normally totally empty beside me or Gunther.”

“I hope you’re right.” 

A long screeching that sounded like it came from a few doors down made you freeze.

“Let’s move,” Dina said under her breath. “I don’t want to find out who that is.” 

Gunther’s lab was nearly just as you remembered it. The only difference was the missing files on his desk, which suggested that he’d taken his work home with him. 

As you’d hoped, the prototype you’d developed in your third year was under a white sheet, almost entirely untouched. 

“This is what sent you to Jackson?” Dina whispered in wonder, her fingers hovering over the wires but not daring to touch.

In actuality, it was a very small contraption, just transistors and gates and wires that crossed over each other like veins. It had been intended for use on laboratory rats. It’d never been sized to people. But if this was your only shot…

“I can’t remember exactly what Gunther and I did to—”

Scratchhhhhh.

Your blood ran cold. Something was outside the door. 

“I’ll cover it,” said Dina, her voice firm. Don’t worry.”

And you wouldn’t—not when there was one zombie against you and Dina, armed to the teeth.

“Uh, anyway—” You blinked as you stared down at the mess of wires. “Technically what happened was it short-circuit—”

Scratch scratch scratch

You gulped. “Um, like I was saying, it short—”

Scratchscratchscratchscratch

To punctuate the point, the door creaked and shifted. 

Dina pressed her finger to her lips as she slowly crept over to the door, standing on her toes to look through the thin strip of plexiglass that ran across the top of the door. 

For a moment, you thought that she’d frozen. Then she quietly stepped over to the desk, snatched the pen Gunther had lying around, and scribbled something onto it. She handed it to you, her finger still posed over her lips. 

7 of them. All big. I think they followed us from the street.

Just as you finished reading it, the doorknob began to turn, back and forth and back and forth against the lock. 

Dina pulled the note from your fingers to scribble something else out. 

Don't say anything. Noise will send them into a feeding frenzy. Door won't hold long. Do whatever you need to fix it and get us out.

You nodded, your heart crawling in your throat. If you couldn’t figure out how to fix this in time…Gunther’s lab was on the 6th floor. 

There were only 3 bullets in the pistol—you’d checked. And a kitchen knife was fine when you were out on the street facing one infected at a time, but 7 in an enclosed space was different.

You probably weren’t going to get out of here alive. 

Not unless you pulled it together right now. 

You pinched the bridge of your nose as you tried to run through all possible ways to recreate the conditions that had sent you to Jackson. You needed that special iridescent wire, which you could see shoved into the corner. You needed a power source. You needed a working circuit board. 

You had all of it. You could do this. 

SIlently, you retrieved the spool of wire and began reattaching it to the board in the pattern you vaguely recalled from your work. 

The lights flickered above, and it was all you could do to keep yourself from swearing out loud. 

The power needed to hold. It needed to hold for just one more minute, just for a moment while you finished configuring the—

Your hand knocked the spool to the floor.

Bang. Bang. Bang.

The thudding started slower but crescendoed into the sound of groaning wood as the infected outside began to pound at the door. 

Dina waved a slip of paper in front of you with wide eyes that said Hurry the FUCK up!. 

You sent her a desperate look back. Your hands were shaking so hard that it was a miracle you were even able to feed the end of the wire through the pliers to snap off the end. You dug your nails into the protective sleeve at the end to expose the tip of the wire.

The door held just until you plugged the wire into the input. 

As it hummed to life, sputtering and sparking and shimmering in the air, the lights flickered once, then plunged you into darkness as the sound of wood splintering came from the door. 

Someone—it was probably you—screamed as a crowd came barrelling through the door, all hunched shoulders and gaping maws. 

Then you grabbed the hand of Dina and felt yourself tumble into nothingness. 

~

The sky was clear and bluebell blue above you when you came to, your back pressed uncomfortably against the sun-warmed earth. Every part of you ached like you’d just been run over, just like it had that day one year ago that started it all.

You didn’t need to look around to confirm—you were certain of where you were. You just knew it. 

A groaning sound made you shoot up, clutching at the pistol in your hand. 

Dina was sprawled on the ground next to you, rubbing her forehead with her hands. 

“We did it,” you said, astonished. “We actually did it. We got out.” 

“And you launched us out to Jackson.” Dina was sitting up now, looking around with wide eyes. “Jesus Christ. Are those things coming with us?”

“I don’t think so,” you said blandly. Your hands were still shaking, just as they had in the lab moments before. 

The backpack you’d packed with supplies lay strewn on the ground, covered in the dust of the clearing. 

“Are we—”

“I think so,” you said. “Funny how it sent us to the same place it sent me. I guess we’ll never figure out how, though.”

“Yeah.”

A comfortable silence fell over the two of you as you acclimated to the bright Wyoming sun, the warmth of the air against your skin.

Your heart lurched as the implications sunk in. Now that you couldn’t pretend like Jackson had been some sort of distant memory, you were going to mourn Ellie all over again whether you liked it or not. 

“It’s going to be weird without her.” Dina was apparently on the same page. 

You choked back the sob that came up, rubbing your eyes angrily. You would not cry right now, not when you had more important things to attend to. 

“She really did love you, you know,” Dina continued, also apparently oblivious to the fact that you were just barely holding it together. “Even if she never said it. I’ve never seen her like that around anyone. I hope you haven’t been beating yourself up over what happened.”

You sent her a tight smile. It was odd, talking about Ellie like this with her. You’d never had before. It was one of those topics that you both knew to just avoid. “I just hope Joel is alright. I can’t imagine how difficult that would be—losing two daughters just like tha—”

A twig snapping in the woods sent you into silence, your hand drifting back down to your pistol as you spun around.

For a moment, all you could hear was the breath that hitched in both your and Dina’s throat. Then a girl with short brown hair burst through the tree line, her gun set on you. 

“Ellie?” you gasped. 

She fell still, mouth agape and eyebrows nearly touching her hairline.

“Ellie, what the fuck?” said Dina, recovering much quicker than you. “What are you doing here?”

“What am I—” Ellie dropped her pistol so it pointed to the ground, staring at Dina incredulously. “What are you doing here?” Then she rounded on you. “What did you do? You promised to stay in Terranova.” 

You couldn’t answer. You were just so starstruck that all you could was stare, taking in everything about her. She was certainly Ellie—with her stupid little flashlight on her backpack strap and her fern tattoo and the perpetual grumpiness etched on her face. It was strange to think that you could have mistaken anyone else for her.

“Well?” she pressed, stepping closer, her mouth in a hard line. 

“Terranova fell. It’s gone. I did what I had to do to get us out.” The words came out quietly. Then, without thinking: “You’re alive.” 

“Long story,” said Ellie. “I think the scanner was defective.” 

“That sounds like a pretty short story.”

She stared at you with an expression of such odd devastation that you felt your heart drop.

Dina jumped to her feet and launched herself at Ellie, throwing her arms around her neck and laughing hysterically. “I can’t believe it. I just—I just—you’re alive. I’m so glad you’re alive.” 

Ellie, for her part, stood mostly still, awkwardly patting Dina on the back until she was released. “I’m glad you are, too.”

You tried not to feel jealous, but it was hard not to. Dina could jump into Ellie’s arms and tell her nice things like that without having to think twice because they’d always been friends. You did, because you weren’t sure if Ellie would want that anymore. 

You didn’t try to touch her as she walked you and Dina back. She followed suit, not even trying to speak to you. 

By the time you were walking through the walls of Jackson and waving to the gaping passerbys who were shocked at your return, you felt like you were going to be sick. 

Ellie was alive. She’d never been dead, and you’d left her out here while you and Dina got to eat fancy Brazilian chocolates and Floridian oranges and artisanal bread. You’d been actively trying to forget her instead of trying to find her.

And now she was here, next to you. And she didn’t seem even remotely interested in you. But could you blame her? It had been a year. You’d left her to come back to Jackson all by herself. She didn’t have any reason to wait around for you. She’d probably found someone else. Or gotten back together with Cat.

And who were you to think that she’d even be interested in you if there wasn’t the guaranteed casualness from a definite end date? 

“Well, I’ll be damned.” Joel appeared on the front porch as you and Dina approached with Ellie flanking you, his eyes wide. 

“Joel!” you cried out, your angst briefly forgotten. 

His eyes darted between the three of you, his face awash with shock. “Did ya just get sick of living there or something?”

You looked down and surveyed your outfit. You were clearly wearing something that was intended to be formal—a flowing graduation dress—but you were splattered with blood and viscous mystery substances and covered in a healthy layer of dirt. You’d clearly gone through some shit. 

You were struggling to come up with a response other than “hey” when you were reminded of something you’d shoved into your bag while you’d been preparing to leave your parents’ penthouse. 

Feeling smug that you’d managed to remember, you reached into your pack and fished around until you found what you were looking for.

“We just figured you’d be almost out of this by now,” you said dryly. The value-sized bag of coffee beans dangled from your fingers, its maroon packaging catching in the sun. 

His face split into a wide grin as he shook his head in disbelief. “Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit. I guess I’ve got to tell Tommy that we don’t have to ration anymore. C’mon, let’s get you settled.”

~

Joel insisted that you move back into your old room instead of the vacant cottage down the street, which was equal parts touching and equal parts terrifying. Ellie lingered by the doorway as you unpacked, disappearing down the hall when you finally lifted your head from your few belongings to say something to her. 

You let out a long, labored exhale, dropping onto your bed and curling your knees up to your chest. You’d since changed and showered the dirt and blood off, shed your tattered graduation dress and left it gathered in the corner like a snake’s molt. The setting sun filtered through the curtains, turning the walls golden. 

You didn’t know what to do. That you could even come back to Jackson had been a thought you hadn’t dared to consider until this morning, when there were no other options. That Ellie was still alive—well, you hadn’t had any time to strategize or plan for that one. You were still reeling from seeing her for the first time in a year, all summer freckles and flyaway hairs escaping from a loose hairband.

She’d looked even better than you’d remembered. There were certain parts of her that you realized you’d forgotten—like the scar on her eyebrow, the way her voice sounded. It made you feel nauseous, knowing that despite your best efforts, you hadn’t been able to keep the real Ellie alive in your head. 

You’d already eaten something with Tommy and Maria, who had been insistent on hearing from you and Dina about the events in Terranova. Joel had left you to your own devices with instructions to see him tomorrow to figure out work after you’d had a decent rest, so there was really no reason to go roaming around hoping to run into Ellie. 

But you really wanted to. You checked the clock again, seeing that it was already past 9. Dusk had already fallen upon Jackson, the setting sun now just a suggestion of a golden line on the horizon.

You had a feeling you knew where she was. 

The meadow was just as lush and green as you remembered as your feet carried you across the grass. It seemed that really nothing had changed—except for the horses in the distance, where you could see a small foal beside a chestnut mare that you were pretty sure was Shimmer. 

“Hi,” you said, settling down next to Ellie’s spot under the tree. 

If she was surprised to see you, she didn’t show it. She just sighed and fiddled with the sleeve of her shirt. 

“Hi.” 

“I’m sorry for bothering you,” you said, keeping your eyes locked on the darkening sky. “I just wanted to come find you to tell you that I understand if you don’t—want me like that anymore. I’ll leave you alone if you want me to.” 

Even when she took her time responding, you didn’t dare look her way. 

“Is that what you want?” You couldn’t quite decipher the tone she’d used. 

“Obviously not,” you said mildly. “I would never want that.” 

“I wouldn’t either.” 

Your breath caught in your throat, your gaze dropping to meet hers. You were just about to speak when—

“The scanner wasn’t defective,” said Ellie. Her voice was soft, her own eyes falling to look at her tattooed arm. 

“Of course it was,” you said, feeling very confused as to why she was suddenly detouring into something so unrelated. “If it wasn’t, you’d be dead already.” 

“I’ve been bitten twice.”

You blinked, sure you’d heard her incorrectly. “Sorry?” 

“I’ve been bitten twice,” said Ellie again, this time with more conviction. “That’s why the scanner came back red. There was nothing wrong with it.” 

“Then how…” Your words trailed off. 

She didn’t let you ponder long. “I’m immune.” 

Immune. 

You closed your mouth—it’d been hanging open unceremoniously for a moment—and tried to fit this very startling fact in with everything else you knew about her. What did being immune mean? And why was she telling you now?

“You knew from the start that you couldn’t come with me to Terranova,” you realized aloud. 

Ellie was gnawing at her bottom look as she looked back at you. You noted that she didn’t offer up any corrections. 

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” You couldn’t hide the hurt in your voice. “Why did you lie to me like that?” 

“I found out that I was immune when I was back in Boston,” Ellie said, the words spilling out of her. “I was in this abandoned mall with my best friend—Riley. She told me she was leaving to be a Firefly, and I begged her to stay and kissed her and for a moment I was so sure that something was going to change between us—something for the better. But then…” She waved her tattooed arm in front of her. “We both got bit. I survived. She, obviously, did not.”

Something deep inside you twisted as you tried to imagine how traumatizing that must’ve been for someone that couldn’t have been older than 14. 

“And so I thought that maybe, you were my chance to right what I’ve done wrong,” continued Ellie. Even though she wasn’t looking at you anymore, you could see the reflective sheen of tears in her eyes. “I’ve gotten to live while so many other people have died. I just can’t handle another. It’s not fair of me to keep someone here when there’s somewhere safer for them. It’s selfish, and I’ve been that enough.”

It was as if you’d found the last puzzle piece for the jigsaw of Ellie Williams. All this time, you’d been struggling in your attempts to understand why she was pushing you away—and why she changed her mind so suddenly. 

Now you got it. Ellie had come into this knowing that she’d likely never see you again. She’d been betting on it, even. It was all some convoluted way for her to set things right in her head, for her to forgive herself for Riley and whoever else she’d lost. 

“You could have told me,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “I would have understood.” 

Ellie sent you a sad smile, shaking her head. “I’m not supposed to tell anyone that I’m immune. It’s one of those things that only Joel and Maria and Tommy know about. No one else. They’d fucking kill me if they found out you knew.” 

“I’m really sorry.” The fabric of her t-shirt was soft under your fingers as you rested a hand on her shoulder. 

“I’m really sorry for how much of an asshole I was to you,” said Ellie. You didn’t miss the way her eyes had widened when you’d reached out to touch her. “I didn’t want to be that way. I always wanted more. I just couldn’t handle having that, knowing that you were going to leave anyway. I thought it’d be easier for the both of us if you thought I was awful.”

“Didn’t work very well.”

“Clearly.”

“I forgive you,” you said, moving your hand so you could thread your fingers into the loose strands that she hadn’t pulled into that baby bun she always wore. 

Instead of kissing you like you thought she might, she threw her arms around you and crushed herself against you, burying her face into your neck.

You held her there, feeling the way her frame trembled under the weight of a sob and tracing patterns across her back. 

“I missed you,” you whispered, your chin rested atop her shoulder. “I thought about you every day.”

Ellie clung to you harder as you shifted.

“I’m really sorry,” she said again, muffled against your neck. “I’m sorry for everything.” 

“I’m not.” You finally pulled away so that she had to look you in the eyes. Under the soft bath of moonlight, her green eyes glowed. “Terranova shouldn’t have existed in the first place. I’m glad that I got out. And I’m even more glad that it brought me back to you.” 

Her hand found yours, your fingers tangling.

“I used to spend all my free time wondering what you were doing up North,” said Ellie. You felt her thumb brush across the top of your hand. “I thought that maybe if I imagined you happy, it’d be easier.”

“What did you think I was doing?” 

The corner of her mouth quirked up. “Lots of studying, I assumed. And going to fancy events for rich people, eating all that expensive shit that the rest of the world can’t have.” 

“Not far off,” you admitted. “But you missed how much time I’d spend wondering about you. I dreamt about you all the time. Sometimes I’d see people who looked similar to you and it’d ruin my whole day. I couldn’t believe that you were gone. I think that deep down I knew that you weren’t.” 

She squeezed your hand. When you looked down at where you were touching, you noted how there wasn’t such a stark difference between you and her anymore. The doll fresh-out-of-the-box skin had disappeared in favor of scars and marks collected from your time in the real world. 

“I really thought you’d be safe there,” said Ellie. 

“You don’t need to worry about me like that anymore,” you told her, cupping her face with your free hand. Her eyelids fluttered half-closed as she leaned into the contact. “You’ve done enough. You can care about me without taking responsibility for everything bad that ever happens to me. You deserve to have something good without suffering because of it. I promise I’m not going anywhere.” 

“Not anymore,” she agreed. 

When you kissed her, it felt like coming home. There was something so achingly familiar in the slope of her neck, the slight chapped-ness of her lips, the almost silent click of her jaw as her mouth parted with a gasp as your hands twisted in her hair. 

You weren’t quite sure how you managed a year without it. 

The skin of her neck was just as soft as you remembered against your lips, her response just as reactive. 

“What’s this?” you asked, pulling away to point at what looked like a small tattoo on the side of her neck. You hadn’t noticed it before—her hair had been covering it. 

“Oh.” Ellie looked sheepish. “My free birthday tattoo from Cat. It’s the moon.” 

“I see that,” you murmured, brushing her hair back more intentionally to get a better look at it. “Why that phase?” 

“It’s the phase it would’ve been on the day we met,” said Ellie. She was bright red now. “Don’t fucking laugh. I know that it’s stupid. Shut up. Stop!” 

You desperately tried to stop your giggles, schooling your face into something straight and no-nonsense. 

“I spent so long wondering if you even liked me,” you told her. “And now you’ve gone and gotten a tattoo dedicated to me. I feel so validated.” 

Ellie rolled her eyes. 

“I have you beat, though,” you said, quieter now. 

She looked back at you, her brows furrowed. “Huh?” 

“When it comes to grand, stupid gestures,” you explained, your finger pointing up to the sky in the general area that you’d collected your data from. “There’s a planet named Ellie up there now.” 

Her jaw dropped for just a moment. “You’re kidding.” 

“No.” Now you were feeling slightly self-conscious. 

“You would do something like that,” Ellie muttered, more to herself than anything. “A whole fucking planet.” 

You let her drape an arm around you, pulling you into her until your head fit into the space between her shoulder and her chin. 

“So,” Ellie said, and you could feel the words vibrate in her diaphragm, “What now?” 

“What do you mean, what now?” 

“I mean, what are you gonna do now that you’re stuck here with me for the foreseeable future?” 

“Enjoy being stuck with you,” you said. “Maybe get a matching tattoo. Give you the piece of the meteorite I nabbed from the display case in my lab. But mostly spend my time bothering you.”

When she didn’t answer, you shifted so you could look up at her. She was already looking back, her eyes soft and the corners of her lips pulling into two dimples. 

“Is that alright with you?’ you ventured.

Her arm tightened around you, fingers gently pressing into the flesh of your forearm like she still couldn’t quite believe you were there. 

“You can be so fucking stupid sometimes,” she said. “I get a tattoo for you and you’re still asking if I want you around.” 

“It’s been known for you to make rash decisions,” you offered dryly. “I didn’t want to jump to any assumptions.”

 She rolled her eyes, still smiling down at you, eyes awash with the reflections of the stars above. 

Slowly, you reached up and touched her face again, letting your fingers relearn her features, tracing the paths created by freckles—just like you had in her bed all those months ago. 

But unlike last time, she didn’t stop you. She didn’t do anything except let you. There was something in her demeanor, something that was fragile and vulnerable and everything that you wanted her to be with you.

“Is this going to be enough for you?” she asked suddenly, her voice raw. 

“What do you mean?” Your fingers paused and rested at her cheekbones.

“It’s just—” She blinked hard and cast her gaze up to the sky. “You grew up so differently than me. I’m not going to be able to give you that fancy Terranova life. Are you sure this is going to make you happy?” 

“Yes.” 

She looked at you, an eyebrow raised skeptically. Your hands moved to cup her face, fingers threading back into her hair. 

“Don’t make that face,” you chided.

“I just find it really hard to believe.” 

You took in a breath. Perhaps more elaboration was in order.

“I’ll put it like this,” you said. “I spent most of my life thinking I needed to be something extraordinary to be happy. I put so much time into trying to be special and nothing I did ever felt like it was enough. But then I met you, and one day I realized while I was here that I didn’t need that anymore. Just being around you makes me more content than I’ve ever been. I don’t want to be like what I was before. I would consider it my greatest success if I got to lead an ordinary life with you.”

You took her brief silence as an opportunity to press your lips to the corner of her mouth.

“Believe me now?” you asked. 

Ellie nodded, leaning in to drop an affectionate kiss at the top of your nose. 

And as you sat there, nestled into the warmth of her side and craning your head up to the sky, you’d never been more sure of yourself. 

This would be more than enough. 

final a/n: ok so some apologies are in order for this one! first of all, sorry for aborting jj lmao. i just couldn't envision doing light speed travel with a baby strapped to dina. big apologies for not including a final smut scene. i actually had one semi-drafted out because i wanted to write one where ellie bottomed bc i feel like it would really hammer in that she was finally choosing to be vulnerable, but the shift in the scene tone just didn't sit right with me. sometimes i write bonus scenes for big fics like this, so if there's enough interest i might write a short one shot of the scene i scrapped/other scenes that i also scrapped. also, speaking of things i scrapped: i had an alternate ending in mind where joel actually did die and ellie went on her seattle rampage + y/n realizes she's alive and tries to sneak out with dina to find her. i might end up writing that one too, depending on interest! anyway, thank you all for coming along on this journey with me so far! it's not totally over yet...the epilogue is still in the works! i appreciate hearing what you guys think of this and hope you all enjoyed !!!

also idk if this is important to bring up but i will say that i didn't realize the kind of message i'd be sending when i wrote a protagonist who's from a place like terranova—exoplanet isn't meant to be some sort of piece that makes you empathize with ignorant beneficiaries of slave labor...it's just the way it shook out and for that i'm sorry 😭

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams imagine #ellie williams x oc #ellie williams x y/n

[sensitiveheartless]

20 questions for fic writers!

Tagged by @feralrookie! :D Thank you for the tag!!

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

10! (technically, kinda)

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

379,547

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Just Bungou Stray Dogs! It's also the first fandom I've written for, actually. :D

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

This is how it feels to take a fall (Dazai goes feral, time shenanigans)

Plate :( (Dazai breaks a plate, experiences emotions)

Dazai and the Moving Detective Agency (Howl's Moving Castle AU)

Chuunyaa's Pawsitively Catastrophic Day (Chuuya is turned into a cat, it's short and pretty much just shenanigans)

Wish in one hand (First fic I wrote, and the first one I posted — Dazai has emotions about handholding)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to, but I've been absolutely terrible at it lately — whenever I'm particularly stressed I start worrying that the negative emotions are going to leak through into what I'm writing and make my tone sound weird, so then I end up turtling in on myself and not saying anything at all, no matter how much I want to engage with people. It's a bad habit, and I want to work on it, so I'm gonna try to catch up on comments! (I treasure every single one of the ones I receive, so for anyone who has left a comment and hasn't gotten a response from me yet, thank you and I am very sorry about my inability to form words in a timely manner skdjfksd)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably An Unsent Letter, since it's pretty much just a short snippet of Dazai being sad while he's leaving the mafia. And even with that one, I have in my head that skk still get together after the four years apart, I just didn't write it. I am dreadful with sad endings — although the ending to "This is how it feels to take a fall" is a little bittersweet, perhaps.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hmm...I'm gonna say Dazai and the Moving Detective Agency, because it's the one with the longest buildup, so I think it has the most catharsis, at least for me! But I tend to give all of my fics happy endings because, as established, I am a wimp when it comes to hardcore angst. I will say that Zut Alors I Have Missed One is probably a contender for happiest as well, just because that fic had no angst whatsoever and was just Unhinged

8. Do you get hate on fic?

Nope! Everyone's been lovely! I have gotten some for my art, but honestly it was pretty toothless and I couldn't take it seriously lol

9. Do you write smut?

...Yeh. :0 There was an attempt, at least — one fic, and I made it anonymous (so on the extreme off-chance that anyone notices a discrepancy between my total ao3 wordcount listed here and the summed up wordcounts of the fics viewable on my profile, that's why!) It's also another fic I need to finish, I hit my writing roadblock with that one at the same time as all my others, and it's almost doneeee I just need my brain to cooperate >:|

10. Do you write crossovers?

Not any proper crossovers, only things like the Howl AU and the Little Mermaid AU, where I took the settings/plots and put in BSD characters.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

...Possibly? I'm not actually sure, I've given a couple people permission, but I'm not sure if anything came of that, I haven't heard one way or another :0 I do have a tendency to use puns, which I realize might make things difficult for translations

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, not so far — and given how tempestuous my schedule has been, it'll probably be a while before I attempt anything like that! Sounds fun, though

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

...I mean, it's gotta be soukoku, because for all that I've enjoyed a lot of fictional pairings before (for example, Howl and Sophie specifically from the HMC books, Beatrice and Benedick from Much Ado About Nothing — I like bickering duos, what do you know — Peter Wimsey and Harriet Vane, currently falling down the Hualian rabbithole because I'm reading Heaven Official's Blessing with my friend, and there's lots of other ones), for as much as I like all those, I haven't really had much of an urge to write anything for them.

So, purely in terms of me wanting to mess around with two characters and write them over and over and over again, it's really only skk! They hit the exact right combination of braincells, I guess lololol

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but probably won't?

Hmmm...honestly, most of my WIPs I still intend to finish at some point or another — first priority being the ones I've already started posting, of course! Although...just due to time constraints, I might not get around to writing the thief!Chuuya/detective!Dazai one I was planning a while back. (and I mean a WHILE lol) I didn't write very much of it, and honestly most of the reason I wanted to write it was for comedy — so maybe I'll turn it into a short comic series instead, because I do think some of the bits were funny :0

16. What are your writing strengths?

That's a hard one; I tend to look more at the ways I want to improve my writing then at what I like about it, and I nitpick just about everything I create, art and writing alike. But if I had to pick something, I would probably say dialogue? That tends to be what I write easiest, at least. I still want to get better at that too, though.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptions and action scenes. I've been making myself write them more, so I think I'm slowly improving (the Howl AU has been great for that! It pushed me to write all sorts of scenes I wouldn't have normally :D ), but those two things remain what I get bogged down by the most.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Depends on the circumstances, I think? I'd include translations if I did. I do tend to include Japanese honorifics when I'm writing in the canon universe, because there's not really english equivalents and it feels like I'm leaving something out when I just do their names straight — although I did take them out when I was doing the Howl AU and the Little Mermaid AU, just as a setting thing.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Bungou Stray Dogs — like I mentioned in the ship section, this is the first fandom where I've really felt the urge. Although I did write things when I was little that very blatantly yoinked in various creatures and concepts from the things I was reading and watching, which resulted in stories with pirates and weeping angels and Ringwraiths all running around in the same place. But I didn't usually bother with bringing in actual characters from those pieces of media, or even using the settings, I just made ocs and had them run around in my own made up world.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

I like all of them for different reasons, but I think my favorite overall has to be Dazai and the Moving Detective Agency. It's the longest thing I've ever written, and when I started out I wasn't sure I'd be able to do it — so the fact that it's most of the way done (currently chipping away at the epilogue, it is getting to be a LOT of words) makes me really happy. And it's just been so much fun! Writing characters I hadn't before, piecing the world together, working out the magic system, writing Dazai being a mess and Chuuya being cool, it's all been a blast. And I seriously need to finish the epilogue, because the followups are living in my brain and they demand to be freed aksdfjksdjfk

But yeah! I'm not sure how many writers I know on here have already been tagged, so I'll just go open tags on this one! :D If any of y'all write and feel like doing this, then go for it!

#tag game #senhart rambles #senhart's writing #long post

[crownleys]

OC in 15 - Kira Kingston

rules: share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture the character/personality/vibe of the OC. Bonus points for just using dialogue without other details about the scene, but you're free to include those as well!

Thank you @deepinifhell for tagging me! With her permission, I will be doing a little bit of borrowing from @delucadarling's that have featured Kira, simply because I'm not sure I have enough of my own writing to fill the slots! Dialogue borrowed from her will be marked with an asterisk 😊 Without further ado! 1. “It’s fine,” She says, offering him a determined smile. “If we’re working together I suppose I ought to get used to it sooner rather than later, right?”

2. “That must have been a big change,” Kira says carefully. “Do you miss it?”

3. "I feel like you’ll be facing more danger than I do. The biggest threat I’ll be dealing with is wayward needles."

4. Kira laughs. “I won’t force you too if you think it’d be too boring.”

5. “...Now that that’s settled,” Kira says, clearly pleased with her partner,  “let’s go ahead and get started.”*

6. “I didn’t have a lot of choice, but I can’t say I regret taking the job,” Kira says. “I wanted to help people, you know? And even if Wayhaven is usually a quiet town, I felt certain that I could best help with the new position.”*

7. She gives herself a little shake and squares her shoulders. “Come, let’s get to work – we have a lot to do.”

8. “You’re teasing me.” “I am,” Kira admits. “But you always look so adorable when you’re serious.” 

9. “I’d like to have you there,” Kira tells her. “And I know you'd like to meet her.”

10. “I love you,” she says, whisper-soft. “I think I could do anything with you at my side.” 

11. “No, but you’re alright, aren’t you?” Kira says, turning to give Barbie another once over. Barbie nods. “Then I can move on to my second concern, which is why is Bobby here?”*

12. “Which shirt are you going to wear? Do you need it pressed?” She asks. “I was thinking that green one,” Nat points to where the blouse in question is currently hanging off a hook in Kira’s open wardrobe.

13. Kira nods, a grim expression on her face. “I’ve heard that can be a problem. I feel pretty lucky to not have to worry about that much. The most I have to deal with is the mayor and the police captain, but they’re both usually so busy puffing their chests out at each other that I think I’ll be able to fly under the radar. Run things properly, you know?"*

14. “I carry a mini first aid kit for things just like this,” Kira says, her tone cheerful, blissfully unaware that there’s a shark in the water.*

15. Detective Kingston brightens up with a smile. “Isn’t it just? I grew up here, you know. My whole life, except for college. I couldn’t stay away.”

It was fun to dig around to find fun lines for Kira! And follow up asks about them are always welcome :3c

As a bonus thank-you for reading here's some of the very first Kira & Nat art I did, from about a year ago!

In return I'll tag @delucadarling @serially-wayhaven/@serial-chillr @nat-seal-well @evilbunnyking @agentnatesewell @nsewell @topaz-carbuncle and anyone else who'd like to do it!

#tag meme #kira kingston #forgive me if anyone is double tagged #and thank you for reading!

[dandelionterminal]

when they have a plus size s/o pt. 3

where Heizou falls in love with your brain and Tighnari can't seem to get enough of you. tags: plus size, fluff, hurt/comfort, insecure reader, jealousy, not beta read pronouns: they/them once in Tighnari's, 3rd person characters: Shikanoin Heizou, Tighnari (separate)

begins below cut

~you braved the storm, welcome to Inazuma~

Heizou: where the flirtatious detective proves his love beyond a reasonable doubt. Heizou is a known flirt, but with you it is different. You work with him on a case and you expect it to end there, but he keeps coming to your work and even gets jealous and protective of you. 

Total words: 1011

Heizou is known to flirt with people in order to achieve his ends and you figured it was the same for his flirting with you

You agree to help him with a case and expect him to disappear once the case is solved, but he keeps coming around

He is intrigued by you and your ability to see through lies 

He falls in love with your mind and intellect before your body

He does not see why you would be insecure, he adores you

Once you start dating, he loves to initiate PDA, much to your dismay

Loves embarrassing you, he lives for reactions

When you first came to Inazuma City, you wandered a bit before finding a home at the restaurant by a big sakura tree. Kiminami restaurant was known for its strange pizza delicacy that the traveler had introduced the owner to. After working there for a while you earned a reputation as the sweet, plump person who had a dazzling smile. 

When Heizou first came to Kiminami he was there to get details for a case. A customer who had eaten there had gone missing under suspicious circumstances and he wanted to dig details out of you. He sat down on a stool and began to chat you up. He ordered a glass of water and a bowl of soba noodles, all the while talking to you about nothing and everything. As you tended to your other customers he began to pry into you. 

“So what sort of people come here? Other than myself of course,” Heizou asked. You raised an eyebrow at him. He was suspicious, in your eyes. People came to the restaurant for small talk, but not this much small talk. The small talk was usually brief, they got their food, and then they would go quiet and then leave. This guy would not shut his trap. It was like he could talk to a wall. 

“Um… anyone and everyone come to eat here. What are you trying to find out?” you asked. You were perceptive to his strange, leading questions. 

Heizou didn’t show it, but he was impressed by your perception skills. Most people, especially customer service workers, in his experience would be distracted by work and just give up any information that he wanted. But you were not lost in the trance of routine and work, you were awake and clever. 

“Oh nothing, my dear. I’m just making conversation,” he answered with a smile, his eyes closed. “Can’t a guy ask a question?” 

You shrugged. “You can ask all you like, but that does not mean that I am going to give you the answer you are digging for. At least not without something in return,” you answer. 

Heizou was intrigued by this. “Oh my. So forward of you,” he said with a wink and shine in his eyes. 

You blushed faintly. “Not forward, mister, just know my worth.”

“Well, that is an intriguing trait. What did you have in mind, for the return of course,” he asked

“Nothing much,” you said, “maybe some mora. But most importantly I want to know why you want this info you are seeking.”

Heizou chuckled, “so you’re interested in my work, hm? Fine. Give me my info, I’ll tell you what I am working on.”

You hummed, tapping your chin dramatically as if thinking hard about your next move. “How about instead we trade back and forth?” you suggested, “that way neither of us is cheated.” 

“Oh you are clever,” he said. “Fine, sit down then.” He gestured to the empty seat next to him. You took a seat, ready to learn all there was to know about this strange man.

-

After you agreed to help Heizou on his case, living for the thrill of it, Heizou would come by each day around lunch to ask more questions about his suspect. It became a routine and you both became fond of each other. Despite your better judgment you began to have feelings for the squirrelly doushin. You let yourself have a faint spark of hope that maybe he liked you back as well. I mean, he did keep coming back didn't he? And the two of you talked about more than just the case. He would ask you how you feeling, if you had eaten, what your favorite things were… How could someone not fall for that kind of person? He was flirtatious but had a good heart deep inside. 

But then his case ended. He’d caught the perp, which meant he would stop coming by.

Or so you thought. He kept coming. He kept showing up at the same time every day. You were surprised, but you didn’t tell him that. 

“You won’t believe it y/n,” he said one day as he came into the restaurant. You looked up from where you were wiping a table for a customer who had spilled their drink. Your outfit sagged off your shoulder as you did so. 

“Oh Shikanoin, welcome in,” you said as you finished cleaning, turning to your patron and smiling at them. “There you go sir, I’ll get you a fresh drink,” you said and turned to get a new drink for the man. 

Heizou glowered at the man and followed you. “Y/n,” he said, “that man is drooling over you.”

You stopped him as he tried to walk into the back of the shop. “Shikanoin we’ve talked about this. You can’t come into the back of the shop,” you said, holding up your hand to his chest. “And he so is not into me,” you defended, tugging your sleeve to cover your shoulder. “No one would be.”

“There you go again,” he said. “How can you not see how dreamy you are?” 

“And there you go again. Archons, if you think I’m so dreamy why don’t you date me?” you asked in exasperation. 

“I would but you’re out of my league,” he said in a deadpan tone. 

That gave you pause. You stopped pouring the man’s sake and turned to Heizou. “Don’t joke like that, it’s cruel,” you said, trying to keep the tears out of your eyes. 

“Why would I joke about that with you?” he said, stepping towards you. He put a hand on your chin to tilt your head to meet his eyes. “I know how you look at me, did you think I wouldn’t notice?” With each word his lips got closer to yours, “And you’re smart enough to know how I look at you,” he said, a breath away from your lips. He waited for you to close the gap. 

And when you did, the greatest mystery of all was solved. 

~Sumeru, don't forget to dream~

Tighnari: where foxes mate for life and he wants to have you all his life. When you first come to Avidya forest as a researcher you don’t expect to fall for the fox man who runs the place. But you do. When you go on your first trek and end up injured and sick, Tighnari nurses you back to health over several weeks. 

Starting off he thinks you’re lazy and clumsy

He doesn’t think you’re stupid like most of the Akademia, but you are annoying to him

But after spending time with you he starts to like you

Your comedy is on par with Cyno’s and he doesn’t like that so much but he can overlook it

He likes to hold you in his arms 

Forehead kisses if you’re shorter than him

He is a tease so be prepared for that

Total words: 1361

Avidya forest was hot and humid. And it was always like that. It was like an eternal hot spring. And it was not easy on the human body. But it is where mushrooms thrived. You trudged through the rainforest, a flask of water sloshing on your waist, a notepad and pencil jingling on the other side, and a heavy backpack clanking on your back. You didn’t know whose bright idea it was to send the least athletic of the dormant fungi researchers into the forest but here you were, climbing hills and swatting bugs off your skin. You were on your way to the village of Gandharva Ville where you were told a former scholar lived. You sighed as you settled to rest on a set of stairs at the foot of a large tree house. From above you, you heard a crude and indignant voice shout down at you. 

“Um, excuse me? That is where people walk, you laze about,” the voice said. You looked up to see a man with fox ears on the top of his head. A large bushy tail swished behind him as his bicolored eyes glared down at you. You stood up frantically, hands clasped in front of yourself. 

“I-I’m sorry,” you stuttered out, intimidated by the confident fox man in front of you, “I’m a researcher from Amurta,” you explained. “I’m looking for a master Tighnari, I was told to find him to get my research mission approved.” 

He raised an eyebrow at you. “You’re y/n? I was told you would be coming. Come up here, laze about, show me this research.” 

You followed him up the stairs and into a cabin. He gestured for you to sit. You pulled your backpack off your back and pulled out a file folder of papers and materials and meticulously sorted. “I’m here to research the Rukkha­sha­va mushroom and its potential spiritual connections. I think the layers of the mushroom hold the potential to heal spiritual and mental ailments,” you explained. 

He hummed as he skimmed over your research. “Quite whimsical,” he said, “but the chemical makeup you break down here does make sense. You can stay here while you research. But don’t wander into a withering zone, and do not eat any wild mushrooms.”

You blinked at him. “Do you think I’m an idiot?” you asked. He sounded like he was talking to a toddler. 

“You would be surprised by the idiocy of some of the Akademia scholars I have encountered,” he replied. He stood and offered his hand. 

You squinted at him. “I don’t doubt it but I am not stupid promise,” you take his offered hand, stand, and sling your bag back on your shoulders. You continue to give him quizzical eyes and head off into the forest. The sun was still high in the sky, the day was young, and you could spend the time finding a spot in the forest and setting up camp. 

You set out to a spot deep in the forest, where no human influence could be seen. You had made it far away from the village, so far only the sound of fungi dancing in the moonlight could be heard. You shucked off your pack and set up a tent on some level ground and began stoking a fire. Come daylight you would head to higher ground to inspect some trees to see if the mushrooms were prevalent at lower elevations. 

-

Tighnari was restless. That researcher from Amurta hadn’t come back yet. It had been three days. Sure, some treks into the forests were long and arduous, but this was unusual. Maybe he had offended you horribly by calling you a laze about. He was about to organize a search party when Collei burst through the door. “Master Tighnari!” she shouted, panting and out of breath. 

“Collei what is wrong? Slow down and breathe!” He lightly scolded. 

“There isn’t time! Y/n came back… and they’re bleeding!” she shouted. Tighnari rushed out, calling out orders to Collei and he ran. 

When he reached you he saw you were practically unconscious, a large gash on your arm that you had haphazardly wrapped a shirt around. The shirt was soaked in crimson and your lips were pale. That wasn’t the only injury. There was a large cut to your head that you had clearly hit. 

“What happened?” He hastily asked you as he began to quickly wrap you in blankets that Collei brought to him. 

You chuckled dryly and coughed. “I was climbing up a tree to reach a mushroom-” you choked out. 

“How high up?” He asked. 

You grimaced. “High.” 

He sighed loudly. “Alright,” he said, standing to his full height. “Collei, I need some water and a stretcher,” he shouted over his shoulder. “We need to start cleaning the wounds.”

And with that the village went to work, rushing around you like a hoard of ants. 

-

That day went by in a blur. People rushing in and out, Tighnari shoveling tonics and concoctions in you to help you recover, Tighnari cleaning and wrapping your wounds and mending your bones, the day turned to night and you drifted in and out of consciousness. 

You woke up the next morning to Tighnari at your bedside redressing the wound on your arm. He looked up, sensing the shift in your breathing, and squinted at you. “More lucid this morning?” he asked. 

You squinted back at him. “I assume so,” you said. “What’s the verdict, doc? Am I not long for this world?” you joked. 

He scoffed. “Your sense of humor is on par with Cyno’s,” he said. “No, but you broke your arm and lost a lot of blood. And we don’t have a healer out here, so you’re stuck under my care until you are well.” 

You frowned. “I guess it could be worse,” you replied. “Sorry to be a burden.” “Don’t climb trees next time,” he scolded. He stood. “Don’t be such a lummox,” and with that, he left, tail swaying behind him. 

-

Over the next few weeks you got into a routine. You would wake, have a light breakfast, and Tighnari would come redress your wounds. During that time you two would talk about anything and everything. It started out lightly. He would ask how you’re feeling and you would reciprocate, asking how he was. Then it shifted as he noticed things about you. He would ask about your other hobbies outside of the Akademia. You would indulge him in his. You would joke with him and dig information out of him. He became gentler with you over time. And you started to look forward to seeing him. You would take all his time away, talking nonstop about anything. One time he even kissed your forehead. Before long your arm was healed and you were set to go back to the Akademia. 

You were putting you backpack on your shoulders when he came in. Just like any other day he came in with a bowl of clean water and fresh bandages. He stopped when he saw you, freezing in his tracks. 

“Oh,” he said. “That’s right. You’re meant to go home today.”

You smiled. “Yep. I overstayed my welcome as it is,” you said. 

He frowned at that. “You’re welcome here anytime, laze about.” 

Your heart skipped a beat and you flushed. You shook your head at him. “Nope I need to get going before people get the wrong idea about us. I stayed too long, I’ve been well enough to travel for a while now.”

His frown deepened. “Wrong idea how?”

You laughed. “You know… I know there is no way you could be attracted to me, I mean I’m annoying and oversized, but other people don’t know that. They just see someone staying and occupying all of your time.” 

He sighed. “Y/n, you’re not annoying. I like spending time with you.” He stepped closer. “And don’t you know… my kind mate for life.”

You frowned. “I’m not your mate though.”

“Oh, but you can be,” he said, setting down his supplies and taking you in his arms. “All you have to do is stay.”

#tighnari #heizou #genshin #genshin x reader #plus size #heizou x reader #chubby #x reader #tighnari x reader #genshin impact #better late than never #shikanoin heizou

[renaultphile]

TC tag game

Thank you for the questions and for tagging me @spudodell.

Rules: Answer the questions and tag other TC fans!

1. "He would not fucking say that" only they did and it's canon. When/who?

Ralph to Laurie in the ‘break-up’ scene, as soon as Laurie starts asserting himself:

"Don't waste time, Spud. It's childish to start an argument about whether we love each other, the moment I go and sit on the other side of the room”

What a horrible thing to say!  Run like the wind, Laurie!

2. Did they kiss in the study? Yes/no + why you are 100% correct about this.

First let’s take a moment to appreciate Spudodell's recent spot of a stealth kiss (can you re-blog that one too, I couldn't find it!) at the beginning of the ‘break-up’ scene when Laurie comes through the door, which to me is absolutely definitive and ground-breaking (not in a good way for me, but still….brilliant detective work!)

On the kiss, I am in the ‘no kiss’ camp, but it is not possible to be definitive.  I feel that Mary plays a lot with echoes, parallels, and contrasts, and for me ultimately I feel the lack of a kiss is meant to be a contrast to other moments in the book, not an echo. 

But what has exercised me more recently is, kiss or no kiss (but especially if there was a kiss), this scene in chapter two really gives me the creeps.  I have been reading around the topic for some schoolboy Ralph fics and Alec/Ralph (watch this space on that one), and it has become ever more clear (Alec Waugh’s commentary ‘Public School Life’ being the best reference on this) that Prefects really were like Gods.  He points out that prefects had almost as much power as but even less accountability than teachers due to the ‘no-snitch rule’.  You can see it in the discussion of Hazell and his confessions, and how contemptuous the schoolboys are of him for 'confessing' (or in modern terms, reporting an inappropriate relationship).

In some ways, a kiss could explain quite a lot about Laurie’s behaviour and attitudes to Ralph in the book.  But to be brutally honest, I’ve had enough of creepy behaviour in men being disguised as ‘romantic’ in heterosexual romances (Mr Rochester, anyone?) and the thought of encountering it in a gay context in such a beloved book is just too much to bear.

So, no kiss for me!  He was still behaving pretty weirdly but that’s understandable in the circumstances.

3. Mandatory question about Ralph's alleged tattoos.

I’m sold on the fic that has him get a tattoo of his sunken ship.  Love the co-ordinates of Dunkirk idea though!  But I think Lux’s one is more realistic.  My reading of that being that he got drunk and wanted to fit in so he got a load of random not-very-good-ones.

4. 53 vs 59 edition: quote a line or paragraph that is better in the edition you like the least.

I favour the ’59 edition, as I broadly feel the cuts make it read better.  But there is one exception.  When Laurie is daydreaming about swimming with Charles, Mary cuts this line:

“Take off your things and jump in."

Apparently skinny-dipping was a step too far for the US audience!  Scandalous!

5. Which TC character would feel right at home here on tumblr dot com?

Bunny but not in a good way.

6. Tag yourself at Alec's birthday party.

I’m Laurie as in sitting in the corner checking out the books.  Not as in going on a rescue mission with some drunken guy.

7. Post a TC meme.

Sorry I couldn’t find the source of this – not exactly a meme but it made me laugh!

8. Easy to talk about who deserved better. Who deserved worse?

Not that I know what happened to them, but Andrew’s relatives who tried as hard as they could to ruin his life, as if his parents dying wasn't bad enough.

9. You can break the fourth wall (at any point in the novel) and say a single sentence to our protagonist, Laurie Odell. What do you say?

I would tell him not to let Dave bully him into leaving Andrew without seeing him.  Because he knows with every fibre of his being that Andrew would not want that.

10. What's a question you have about TC? One you haven't found an answer for yet.

Too many to say.  It’s the unknown unknowns that really get me.

Tagging @gayskogul @telltaleangelina @jeork @alovelywaytospendanevening @black-bentley and anyone else who wants to play and would like to raise their head above the parapet!!

#Tag Game #the charioteer #Sorry giving Ralph a bit of a hard time here but y'know.....

[bucketsofmonsters]

The Shapeshifting Detective - Part 6

cw: parental death, grief, referenced murder, referenced cheating, slow burn, more tags will be added as the story continues

male shapeshifter x fem character

word count: ~4k

part 1  part 2  part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7 part 8

She spent the next few hours cleaning every single bouquet out of the house. It was a massacre, a path of destruction left in her wake. 

A familiar voice halted her floral reign of terror. “What in the hell are you doing?”

She turned to look at Anne’s bewildered face. “Saving our lives, apparently,” she replied, moving to throw another destroyed bouquet into a bucket. 

She wrestled the bouquet out of Kate’s hands. “I think you need to sit down, rest a little. I don’t even know how you’re still going, you’ve gotta be running on fumes, I think some rest might clear all this up.”

“I’m not crazy.”

“I didn’t say you were. Just that maybe destroying all these flowers isn’t the best use of your time.”

“No, they need to be gone,” Kate insisted. “I need them to be gone, I need to fix this, I need to fix something.”

“Hey, that’s not your job. It’ll all patch itself up, it just needs time. Come on, let’s just stop fighting, please lie down for a bit.”

Kate stood stock still, refusing to follow Anne’s gentle lead. 

“How’s my mother been,” she prodded, her whole body tensing as she spoke. 

“She’s been your mother. Props to that woman, she sure can put on a show. If I didn’t know better I’d think she was grieving.”

“Maybe she is. Somewhere, deep down in there. 

A dry laugh escaped Anne. “C’mon, you don’t really believe that.”

“It’s not that absurd.”

“After what happened between him and Theresa I doubt it but who knows, I suppose anything is possible.”

Everything else came to a halt as Kate processed the comment. “Anne, how do you know about that?”

“How do I… Oh god, yeah, I didn’t have time to tell you, everything’s been so chaotic. I caught them together, I’m the one who told your mom.”

“You did what?”

“I don’t know, I have no real loyalty to either of your parents but it just didn’t seem fair. I kept imagining that she was you. You would want to know, you always want to know everything. She has so little control over anything here, I thought I could at least give her that. She seemed so calm after I told her.” 

“What did she do then?”

“I’m not sure, I wasn’t there for the rest of it but I can guess.”

Kate reeled back. “Why wouldn’t you tell me”

“I thought you already knew.”

She said it like it was obvious, like Kate was a fool for not seeing it sooner. Maybe she was. 

“About the cheating?” Kate asked, despite knowing that wasn’t what they were talking about, not anymore. She’d keep dancing around the question right until Anne said it, just like she’d been doing since this all began. It couldn’t be her, anyone but her. 

“No, about your mother being deeply suspicious in all of this. Come on, don’t pull this, you must’ve known. I mean, if it wasn’t you, who else was here? Who else could’ve hidden it this well? She was already lying about every emotion she’s ever had, I’m sure the whole grief thing wasn’t hard to do. You reacted like a person, like a weird and misguided grieving person who I’m worried about, but a person nonetheless. She’s performing her own one woman play like always, there’s no real grief in there. There’s no way you’re just finding out about this, you’re smarter than that. I mean, I don’t know for sure but you must’ve been suspicious. All of the staff here were, we see what she’s like, how much they hated each other.”

Kate responded by doing the only thing she seemed to be capable of lately. She got angry. 

“This is motive, I needed to know this!”

“It’s no more of a motive than everything that was already between them, she’d be just as suspicious without this, half the time I saw them talking I thought she might stab him. She didn’t even seem like she gave a shit. If anything I’m sure she was relieved that she was seeing less of him.”

“You knew I was investigating, why wouldn’t you say something.”

“Did I know that? Because what I remember is you refusing to tell me what you were doing! When was I even supposed to tell you, when you were refusing to talk to me or when you were actively running from me? I didn’t know anything, maybe if you had told me I could’ve helped.”

“I can’t tell you.”

“What happened to you Kate, why won’t you let me help you?”

“I don’t need your help,” she snapped, her defensiveness leaving the comment sharper and crueler than it should have been. 

“Fine, I’ll get out of your hair then,” she said with a huff before storming off back down the hall. 

Kate was left in the dust feeling regret and the distinct sense that she wasn’t sure she liked who she was becoming. 

If Kate from a week ago could see her she’d hate her for what she’d just done, for treating her best friend like that. Kate from now wasn’t all too different in that regard. 

How could she do this to her only friend, it wasn’t Anne’s fault. She didn’t know who’s fault it was but certainly not hers.

Kate was drawn away from her aimless self-loathing by the sound of someone approaching. 

When she looked up and saw Anne’s face she did the only thing she felt she could do. She turned on her heels and she started to pace away from her, desperately wanting to avoid another confrontation, to avoid hurting her anymore than she alread had. 

At the sounds of the footsteps growing faster she realized the futileness of the gesture and halted in her tracks, turning to face Anne. 

Anne wasn’t quite able to stop fast enough, running right into Kate before her instincts could kick in. 

The familiar face gave Kate a sheepish, “Hello. Sorry about that.”

The goofy smile gave him away instantly. 

“Christ, Vincent, what is your problem?”

“You were gone for a while, I got worried.”

“Wait, what did you do with Anne?” She asked, looking around frantically, trying to find any clues to where she was. 

“Oh, nothing, I just thought it would be easier to hang around here if I looked like this. I can trail around after you easier, I'm practically invisible this way. I still had one of her dresses hidden in a corner from last time I snuck in here, I’m lucky no one moved it.”

“And what if she sees you?”

He shrugged. “We’ll figure it out, how are you doing?”

“How am I doing? Vincent, you cannot be doing this. You need to leave or look normal or something, I don’t know.”

“I’m not leaving you. Now how are you? You’ve done some redecorating I see.”

She followed his gaze down to her dress, which had large wet spots across it, some rogue petals sticking to the damp fabric. 

That plus the fact that she hadn’t slept nor fixed herself up after the party, she was sure that she looked even more out of sorts than normal. Or at least, her new normal. Before all of this, she’d been so carefully composed all of the time, her normal was slowly shifting further and further into madness. 

“Stop being so reckless,” she insisted. “We can’t fuck this up and you cannot hurt her.”

“I’m not hurting anyone! You’re the one going around knocking people out, I haven’t hurt anybody!” he responded defensively. 

“No one is knocking Anne out.”

“Agreed,” he responded with an eager nod. “Do you know what would reduce the possibility of running into her? If we stepped out for a minute, maybe went somewhere else and talked this through.”

“Oh, fuck you. You’re not taking me anywhere, I’m going to see her.” She’d begun storming off towards her mother’s room before she even finished speaking.

Vincent kept pace with her. He never actually tried to hold her back, never touched her at all, but that didn’t mean he stopped trying to get her to leave. His protests continued ceaselessly until Kate stormed into her mother’s room and finally, his arguments trailed off, eyes darting between the pair.

Kate’s mother rose from her chair, brows furrowed as she got a good look at the state Kate was in. 

“Do you have no self respect?” she asked.

She was so focused on her daughter's attire that she entirely missed Kate glaring daggers at her. 

“Tell me you didn’t do it.” Kate managed to spit out, no time for niceties. “I’ve been defending you, saying you wouldn’t do that to yourself. Tell me I was right.”

She had the audacity to roll her eyes at the accusation. “Your father was a horrible man.”

It wasn’t a confession or a denial. She said it like it was a fact and in a way, it was. It was certainly a fact that her mother believed that, she had known that as long as she’d known anything.

“Tell me you didn’t.”

“I can if you want me to. Would that make it better?”

Kate shook her head. “Please be honest with me, just this once. Just give me that.”

She refused, staring Kate down, her head tilting to the side. “What is this, why are you doing this now?” 

Kate wouldn’t back down. She would get her answers. She’d earned that much. “Why did you do it? Because he slept with someone else? Get over yourself, since when did you give a shit about his loyalty?”

“You know I never cared about that, don’t kid yourself.”

“Then why did you do it? Why did you ruin everything?”

“You think I ruined everything? Do you know what he did? He blamed me. He said it was my fault he was unhappy, if only I’d been a better wife. Do you know how fucking miserable I’ve made myself being perfect? But no, it was my fault. And when I picked up that letter opener, and he said I wouldn’t do it because I’d get nothing, because he’d made absolutely certain I would be ruined and penniless, I couldn’t do anything else. He took everything from me and told me it was my fault and then he looked me in the eye and he dared me to do it. How’s that for honesty? You want to say everything that’s wrong here is my fault? Fine. But you do not get to say that your father was anything but an awful man.”

She looked back at her mother and felt nothing. No sense of victory or justice, no real answers, just endless questions and an all encompassing emptiness in her chest. 

She didn’t get the chance to ask them. Her mother was on a roll now, turning both defensive and spiteful in one fell swoop as she saw Kate’s breathing turn ragged and tears prick at the corners of her eyes. 

“Someday,” she insisted, “you will marry someone you hate in pursuit of happiness you will never stop chasing. You can’t judge me, I’ve seen the suitors you pursue. You’re no better than I am. I’ll be happier as a widow than I ever could be with your father and someday, when you've had enough of this shit, you’ll understand. And on that day, when your daughter is looking at you like you’re a monster, then you can judge me.”

“I would never do what you did.”

Even as she said it she knew there was no real conviction behind those words. If her mother couldn’t live this life and come out intact, no one could. 

In one fell swoop, her mother had taken her past and her future from her. There was nothing, nowhere she could go, no one she could turn to. She’d turn her mother in and then, in however many years, she would turn into her mother. 

“You’ll see,” her mother insisted. “You’re already heading towards the same marriage I was in.”

“And my father was the only one trying to protect me from that, not you.”

“I couldn’t protect you,” she tried to reason. “I could barely keep myself afloat.”

“I will tell Daniel to leave you to rot. You have nothing unless I marry up and I will not save you.” Tears ran down her face as she screamed, all the emotions she’d felt were missing boiling over.

“Fine. Take revenge however you’d like. I’ve gotten mine, I suppose it is your turn.”

She sniffled, trying to keep herself composed as best she could. “How could you take him from me?” she asked, her voice cracking as she squeezed the words out of her lungs. 

“You don’t understand,” her mother dismissed, a look of defeat crossing her face. 

“I do! I understand just how isolated you were and he was the only thing keeping me from that and you took him.”

“Katherine, not everything is about you.”

Kate had practically forgotted than Vincent was in the room at all, everything other than her mother fading away. That was until Vincent snapped. 

“Not about her?” he yelled. “What the fuck do you mean not about her? Have you seen her, seen what you did to her? Or have you been too caught up in your own little performance to notice how you have destroyed your daughter. You’re supposed to protect her! But instead you ruined her life and left her alone to pick up the pieces and now you have the audacity to act like she is in the wrong for what, being upset? For trying to help?”

She’d never heard him this angry, never heard him be angry at all. 

Her mother reeled back like she’d been slapped. “How dare you involve yourself in this, girl.”

Kate positioned herself between them defensively. “You leave them alone.”

“Katherine, please…”

“No, I’m done listening. You’re not getting away with this, I will make you pay for what you did to him.”

“I tried to get you to understand,” she said. The words sounded like they were more for her sake than for Katerine’s. “I really did.”

And then her mother screamed. 

She couldn’t help but feel that this is what she should have sounded like. When she found her father on the floor over a pool of blood. When she realized there was nothing she could do, he was already gone. When she got up in a daze and alerted the nearest person she could find before returning to his side. 

This was the kind of scream you made when you found out something awful. This was the kind of scream she should have made, horrified and afraid and earnest.

And now it was directed at her. 

She couldn’t make sense of it, couldn’t understand what her mother was doing. She felt like she was floating again, that distant feeling from that night invading her once more. 

She barely felt it when Vincent grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the room, barely noticed the setting quickly changing. 

Eventually they stopped running and she looked around. She was presented with familiar surroundings, seeing that same warehouse where she’d found out his secret.

“Why did you take me here?” she asked, her voice low and wispy.

“She was going to blame it on you. We had to get you out of there, they won’t believe you over her.”

“They’d believe you. Well, not like this,” she said, waving her hand at his appearance, at Anne standing in front of her. “But as Harvey they would.”

“I know. But you deserve some time to think before I do anything.”

“What is there to think about? You heard her, she did it.”

“She did. Now what do you want to do about that?”

It felt like an absurd question. “I want justice.”

“Justice won’t bring him back, it’s what you want that matters. I wanted to give you time to think, to consider if you were ready to lose both parents'' 

She shook her head. “I’ve already lost my mother.”

“It’s up to you, you have all the power here.”

“You’re trying to save your friend arent you?” Kate snapped. “Arrest her, that’s what you came here to do. Arrest her, save Evelyn, and then fucking leave.”

“It’s about more than that now.”

“Why? I don’t know you! I don’t know jack shit about you, why are you helping me?”

“Beacuse… I don’t know, because you needed it. Because no one else was helping you and you needed it and you were all alone.

“I didn’t need you. I don’t need you. I’m fine on my own, I’ve always been fine on my own, I have to be fine on my own.”

She collapsed onto the floor, unable to hold herself up any longer. Her skirts pooled around her, the ones from that same fancy dress from the ball that felt like it took place years ago. 

She barely noticed when Vincent skuried away behind some of the crates. 

When he reappeared he was Harvey once more, in clothes even more crumpled than normal. He was holding out something to her and all at once she realized it was Anne’s dress. 

“Here,” he said. “It’s better than that one, more practical. More comfortable too.”

Changing seemed like a herculean task so instead she held it close. It reminded her of Anne. 

“I’m sorry,” she called out. “I’m sorry, you didn’t deserve that. You didn’t deserve anything I’ve done to you.”

He settled down next to her and rested a gentle hand on her forearm, tentative and soft as if looking for the smallest sign that his touch was unwanted. He didn’t question her cradling the dress like it was something priceless.

She leaned into his touch, the sense of connection more than welcome right now. He was so warm and gentle and so very kind. She felt as if he was the only thing holding her together anymore, like she wanted to wrap herself up in his arms forever and let him keep her from falling apart. 

After a moment of thought he replied, “I have a big family. 14 older siblings. I was always the runt of the family, the littlest, the weakest.”

It sounded amazing, that many people in a house. “I always wanted siblings.”

“Well, you can take some of mine if you want them. I think my parents stopped having kids because of me, because I let them down that badly. I was bad at everything, none of my siblings would give me the time of day. It was like they thought I would rub off on them, make them unlovable too. ”

“You’re not unlovable.”

“No?”

“No. I think you’re the most lovable person I’ve ever met. I think I might’ve become the angiriest person alive and I still can never stay mad at you.”

She didn’t miss the bashful smile he tried to hide before continuing on. “Well that’s besides the point. The point is, you were there, grieving, and no one was doing anything about it. They were all avoiding you or talking to you like you weren’t even there. So many people and you were still all alone. You know, I figured it wasn’t you pretty fast, I know what someone with no one to turn to looks like.”

She buried her head in her hands, feeling overwhelmed by him, by how tender and caring he continued to be. “You’ve been so kind and all I’ve been so cruel to you.”

He shook his head and made a quiet noise of protest. “Absolutely not. You haven’t been cruel, you’ve been grieving and you’ve been honest. Maybe honesty just feels like cruelty to someone from your world, with your endless, pleasant lies.”

“Maybe. I honestly don’t know how to tell.”

“You’ll figure it out.”

“He really was a good man, you know.”

He was caught offguard by the statement. “What?”

“What my mother said. It’s not true, he was a good man. She’s a liar.”

“I don’t know. People contain multitudes, someone can be a good father and a bad husband. The bad doesn’t undo the good but it also doesn’t change your mother’s life. He probably wasn’t a good man or a bad man. He was just a man.”

“I know. He still didn’t deserve this.”

“Of course he didn’t.”

“You know what? Neither did she.”

He spoke softly as he added with a quiet determination, “And neither do you.”

Kate nodded, terrified to say the words out loud, scared to admit that maybe she did deserve better. Maybe they all did. 

“I don’t know what to do anymore,” she managed to choke out. “That was all that was propelling me forwards, it was all I had. I needed to solve it, I needed to fix it, and now I’ve solved it and nothing is fixed and I don’t know what to do.”

“Just rest. Please, rest. We’ll figure it out tomorrow.”

He picked up a blanket from the floor, shifting it around her shoulders and pulling her into his side, arm wrapped around her, holding her. 

If his hand on her arm was reassuring, she wasn’t sure what to call this. All she knew was it felt real and safe and those were two things she didn’t want to let go of. 

For the first time in a very long time, Kate managed to sleep through the night.

#the shapeshifting detective #terato #monster bf #monster boyfriend #monster x human #shapeshifter #Big Important Chapter #Sorry it took so long squad

[letthemusicmoveyou28]

*2023 Fic Fest Participation*

I am late to this, but thanks for tagging me @allwaswell16!

Number of fests: 6

Number of fics: 9

Favorite fest/fic: It is way too hard to pick just one! But 2023 was the year that I fell back in love with fic writing again, and I know that participating in all of these fests had a lot to do with that. One of my favorite fics came from @omegaversekinktober23 and was Hold You With My Hands Tied. I loved creating that universe, and it was my first time attempting A/B/O!

Fest you would love to do again this year (if they come back): I would definitely love to do @louisrarepairfest again, it was a fun challenge for me! My fic for @romcom1dficfest will be coming out early this year. I’m already signed up for @1domegaverseficfest and really excited for the prompt I got! I am also looking forward to @1duntraditionalabofest, such a cool idea!

Tagging: Absolutely zero pressure, but I’m tagging @neondiamond @parmahamlarrie @ladyaj-13 and anyone else that might want to do it!

Fics and thoughts under the cut!

With the Bomb Lighting for @wankersday 2023

E, 4k, Louis/Harry - Rockstar Harry, Rolling Stone Journalist Louis, Strangers to Lovers, Video Sex, Mutual Mastrubation

This was my first time writing smut where the two characters were not in the same room together. The premise is silly and ridiculous and I had the most fun writing it. 😊 Hoping to participate again this year as long as an idea comes to me!

It’s Only Sunny Cause the Planet’s Dying for @1dastroficfest Round 2.

E, 13.6k, Louis/Harry - Enemies to Lovers, Con-artist Louis, Detective Harry, mild violence

Enemies to lovers is one of my favorite tropes of all time, and I will happily die on that hill lol. The prompt I was given was Sappho, the Greek poetess whose work was deeply homoerotic and filled with love for her companions. In your chart Sappho shows you a place in your life where you feel affirmed. That was the aspect I decided to run with here. Two very different people who decided to stop worrying about what society wanted them to be or who they should love. I’d love to participate in round 3 of this fest as long as it fits into my schedule!

Hold You With My Hands Tied for @omegaversekinktober23

E, 12.4k, Louis/Harry - Omega Harry/Alpha Louis, BDSM Club, Strangers to Lovers

First of all, I had SO much fun participating in this fest. I loved figuring out what I wanted to write each week based on the prompts. I’m not sure if they are planning to do it again this year, but I will be there if they do! I absolutely fell in love with these characters and this AU, which is why I wrote another installment of it later on in the fest. 😉

Wearing You Like Clothes for @omegaversekinktober23

E, 5.9k, Louis/Harry - Omega Louis/Alpha Harry, Neighbors to Lovers, Louis in panties, breeding kink

Once I had the idea in my head, this is one of those ones that just sort of wrote itself. I loved writing the way that they realized their kinks lined up perfectly.

Wanna Make Your Body Numb for @omegaversekinktober23

E, 3.8k, Louis/Harry - Omega Harry/Alpha Louis, BDSM Club, Established Relationship, Exhibitionism, Cock Warming

This is part two of Hold You With My Hands tied, but it could probably be read on it’s own. I loved spending more time focusing on Harry discovering BDSM and that being submissive does not in any way mean giving up power, rather the opposite.

Chew You Up Like Candy for @omegaversekinktober23

E, 4.3k, Louis/Harry, Alpha Louis/Alpha Harry, Dom Louis/Sub Harry, Fucking Machine, Face Sitting

Whew! This one definitely challenged me, but in the absolutely best way. I was a little nervous to tackle an Alpha/Alpha pairing, but a really enjoyed exploring that dynamic. I guess Harry’s character in the fic and I both sort of went on that journey together lol. And I don’t know exactly why, but I think the smut scene in this one is one of my favorites I’ve ever written.

Slow Dance With the Tension for @1dtrickortreatfest

M, 666 words, Louis/Harry - Witch Harry/Human Louis, Established Relationship, Bratty Harry, Boys Kissing

I will admit, as a rambler it was very hard to keep this to the word count lol. But I had absolutely so much fun writing this one. Bratty witch Harry was just so self indulgent, and I loved writing Louis as his somewhat exasperated but fond and patient counterpart. Would love to participate in this fest again this year and maybe explore these two and this verse in another work at some point.

Got My Chaos Automatic for @louisrarepairfest 2023

E, 3.1k, Louis/Liam/Zayn - Poly Relationship, Canon Compliant, Dom Liam/Dom-Switch Zayn/Sub Louis

As evidenced by this list, I am no stranger to writing smut lol. This one was a little different from my usual though. First of all, I had never attempted a threesome before this and so there was some logistical things where I was like what do I do with all these people?? But I think I figured it out in the end lol. I also loved playing with their dynamics here. I purposely kept their relationship status a little vague, personally I just don’t really like a lot of labels and I felt it went well here. I also loved the idea of Louis putting up a bit of a fight mostly just because he really likes the struggle and he also knows how much his partners enjoy earning his submission. And I really loved writing Liam as the Dom who is a little strict but with the biggest heart. I felt like they all just fit together so well and were able to give each other exactly what they wanted/needed. I already said this at the top, but I’d love to participate in this fest again this year!

Stuck In Midnight Traffic for @1dchristmasfest 2023

M, 2.9k, Louis/Harry - Strangers to Friends (implied lovers), Harry has just left a verbally abusive relationship and Louis cheers him up

This was an idea that had been in my head literally for ages, and this fest seemed like the perfect opportunity to bring it to life! Hurt/Comfort fics are also a very loved genre of mine. And in the story Harry has a Christmas cactus named Kevin that never seems to bloom. That was actually inspired by my own plant (coincidentally named Kevin 😉), that I have had for over a decade now and took nearly 8 years to finally bloom. Sometimes things just take a little extra time and maybe some Christmas magic. 😊

#tag thing #my fic writing #read on ao3 #larry fanfiction #hl fanfiction #1d fanfiction

[boydcrowdr]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you @acorrespondence, my lovely mutual and writting buddy, for tagging me <3

How many works do you have on ao3?

6, under beezleebub (more under a secret abandoned account)

What's your total ao3 word count?

131,144 for my current account

What fandoms do you write for?

justified, primarily. with one deadwood fic, and a mcu wip in the works.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

"stay with me" is my most kudoed fic <3

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i try to! i never know what to say cus i'm always so blown away that anyone's reading my shit at all.

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i try not to end on a sour note, but i feel like everything i write carries a general blanket of angst through it's narrative

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

probably "stay with me" just cus i was feeling nice that day

Do you get hate on fics?

not these days. i feel like ao3 users have a generally laid back approach to fanfic these days. don't like? exit the tab, easy peasy.

Do you write smut?

no? i have included not overly explicit sex scenes in fics bcus they can be a great tool for emotionally charged moments, good character moments, etc. but nothing crazy.

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

never ever. they're not really my thing.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

no lol

Have you ever had a fic translated?

nah

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no, i'm a control freak

What's your all-time favorite ship?

charles xavier/erik lehnsherr. easy. full stop. don't even have to think about it. there's something about them. something about the 60s/70s. something about two sides of the same coin. something about wanting the same thing but having morally conflicting approaches. i think about magneto every single day of my life since i was 11 years old. next question.

What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

"keep it near" had such a choke hold on me. it was born of an offhanded discussion in the justified discord so long ago and a love of southern gothics and detective stories. i still love it sm but idk if i'll ever have the steam to revisit it. maybe when i rewatched true detective s1 it'll just pour outta me tho, who knows.

What are your writing strengths?

dialogue. i think i'm pretty good at back and forths between two characters that are saying something other than what they mean. i enjoy writing dialogue that is more revealing in what isn't being said. p.g. wodehouse also taught me a lot about tone in dialogue and witty back and forths that i really enjoy and think i have a pretty good grasp on writing those sorts of exchanges.

i also like to think i'm pretty good at carrying a tone through a story. giving something a general vibe. usually a haunted angsty vibe but still, it's an energy.

What are your writing weaknesses?

probably so many things. i don't like most of my fics that are up currently (with the exception of "keep it near" and probably "stay with me"), but we're all our worst critics. I feel that i struggle with writing action, motion, etc. i never want a scene that lacks dialogue to come across as "and then," "and then," etc, you know what i mean?

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

iffy. i feel like it can come across as jarring to a reader if they have no idea what they're even looking at. i've included snippets of russian in a wip, which i have been studying for quite a while, but i still fear it might come across as clunky.

First fandom you wrote for?

uhhh... probably batman? or marvel? unless we're counting the self insert assassin's creed fanfic i wrote in 6th grade before i knew what fanfic was.

Favorite fic you've written?

oh probably "keep it near" but by far my unpublished fic i'm working on currently.

don't know who's been tagged yet, but @praycambrian @raylangivins @norgbelulah @eff41 and anyone else who hasn't been tagged yet <3

#tag game #ace

[more-better-words]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @iamstartraveller776! Thank you! ☺️

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 49 (that number will be changing soon)

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 538,126 (a full third of that is a single story 😅)

3. What fandoms do you write for? Ummmm....I have written for numerous fandoms over the years, and most of them you haven't heard of! (no seriously)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? The four fics that make up my Star Trek: Enterprise series Built to Last, (and one other lol).

From the Ground Up

What We Build Here

For the Duration

The Place We Call Home

Lay Down the Beat (Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency)

5. Do you respond to comments? Heck yeah! I love comments. I'm such a comment ho, bring 'em on.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I have kind of an allergy to angst, so...none, really. Okay, What We Build Here has a slightly angsty ending, but that was ONLY because I knew I was writing a followup and the angst would be healed! Bittersweet is about as hard as I go.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Hmmm...Almost all of them? 😄 Destiny and Venturing the Uncharted both have pretty darn sappy happy endings, and of course, the whole point of the Built to Last series was to provide a happy ending, so... yeah. Come to me for all your "everything's gonna be okay" needs.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Haven't on AO3. Tumblr, though...that's another matter. (Which never fails to bewilder me. You're gonna take time out of your life to send anon hate to ME? ME?? Who the actual frilly heck am I to warrant anon hate??)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Sort of? Kind of? For years, I didn't try, and now I have, and it's all rated M because I don't think I have anything more explicit in me, but I'm enjoying it? (it's all extremely fluffy, though, because I'm just a fluff merchant at heart)

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? No, I never have. I'm not sure my brain's wired for that.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of, but the majority of my fic is so niche I would be stunned if I did.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? See above, re: niche

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Sort of...years ago, I co-wrote some Baldur's Gate AU fic with a friend that never got published anywhere. Which is a shame, because it was good stuff.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Whichever one I'm writing at the moment lol.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Probably the sequel to In a Strange Land. Of all the stories I've started and never finished, that one stings the most.

16. What are your writing strengths? Dialogue. I like to think I have a pretty good ear for it (so to speak).

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Plot. 😅 I'm great at having characters sit around and talk, but I'm terrible at having things actually happen.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Complete neutrality. I've never done it, so I don't give it much thought.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Buffy the Vampire Slayer! And if you managed to dig up my old LiveJournal, you could still read it!

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? I love them for different reasons at different times. 😄

Tagging anyone who wants to play!

#tag game #writer stuff

[uzumakisavior]

Designing Tea for our muses!!!!

I took it from @gohjuo

I tag anyone to looks at this and is interested! Just tag me so I can see what you guys come up with!

I designed all with the best of my ability and picked every item with intention.

First one, Suguru:

Star plasma/vessel Association dor the stars. The purple and yellow trim for his colors. The gray background "because depression" and the little spoon is classy. Silver to detect any poisons. Also, that floating piece in the middle. So lonely, with the stars surrounding him. Oof. The clapping. That's all I'm going to say.

Second, our favorite Sassy servant! Uraume:

Uraume was the hardest to create. I was just trying to match their colors here. Red white and blue (is Uraume american?) I think they would be closer tied to nature as well as have fresh berries on hand. Still on the twig and at the perfect ripeness. A tea full of flavor for Uraume!! The background is hidden, neutral, and unassuming. <3

Lastly, Me!! Because I like to pretend I'm the main character in my own little story.

Chamomile tea is my favorite. It's soothing. So that explains the color. Green and yellow are gender neutral colors. But green reminds me of the earth. Gold trim implies fancy. Herbs, just in case I want my tea stronger. A touch of feminity with the cherry blossoms. Honestly, I'd like to see the mun's teas next to their muse's teas. That would be so interesting!!

#dash games #save #its fun always

[majorxmaggiexboy]

15 Questions 15 Mutuals

Rules: answer the questions and tag fifteen mutuals

tagged by @beterparker shgjsghjksl!

1. Are you named after anyone?

according to my mother it’s the phonetic spelling (it is not) of Michaela Quinn medicine woman bc she liked the way Sully, specifically, pronounced the woman’s name but she did NOT want people nicknaming me Mike so fast forward to last year when one of my coworkers nicknamed me Mickey,,,,,momsauce was,,,,devastated,,

2. When was the last time you cried?

*Noir Detective Voice* Thursday, January 5th, 2022, hours before being diagnosed with COVID-19 and unknowingly six days into actually having it,,,,,ngl if i was like, a cartoon character, it would have been adorable and i find it infuriating but i fully did the, eyes swimming, valiantly holding back tears, until momsauce looks at me and FLOODGATES AND “I really don’t feel good” AND *STARTS SOBBING* 

3. Do you have kids?

yes i have two daughters, Amicia de Rune and Wednesday Addams thank you for asking

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

i don’t think what i use even counts as sarcasm, it’s too obnoxious

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

usually just that they’re in the room

6. What's your eye colour?

brown

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy Endings, though Bittersweet is also good. I like to have my emotions wrung out and turned into a baseball bat which is then used to ALMOST murder me but then the ending turns out to be a highly competent doctor which then Heals Me and waters my crops and builds me a little house in the countryside to live out my days in peace

8. Any special talents?

i think my developing-stories hobby counts as a talent? it doesn’t really qualify as ‘special’, but i do be coming up with some Stuff and can make some pretty big leaps from very small prompts on the fly, which i didn’t realize until a friend pointed it out.

oh, also don’t know if it counts as a talent since there’s no on and off switch on it but irl people tend to come tell me their problems/backstory/any Drama(tm) they have going on even if we’ve barely spoken before that so

9. Where were you born?

A hospital in Alabama

10. What are your hobbies?

Painstakingly outlining stories and then usually not writing them, daydreaming about Blorbos, analyzing fiction, crochet, painting, sewing, a few little videogames.

11. Have you any pets?

YES i have three boys their names are Norrell, Chellers, and Eggroll. Eggroll is actually the eldest, he is gray and fluffy and smaller than the others. He was an outside cat until last August, when we moved and brought him with us. He has been thoroughly enjoying his retirement from the outside cat life. Norrell is SealPoint and Squishy and has big paws and Chellers is a fluffy black cat with no bones, they’re both four. These three are perfect and silly and i love them so much

12. What sports do you play/have played?

I played Red Rover once. OH!! I did paintball once. I think we used to play foursquare fairly frequently. 

13. How tall are you?

Last time i was actually measured it was 5′1/2″ but i think it’s more like 5′2″ now, surely.

14. Favorite subject in school?

Originally it was Math but then we hit that part where Math was work and Language Arts was intuitive and it’s been Language/related ever since.

15. Dream job?

Being paid to live as Madame from The Aristocats

Tagging:

@therapardalis, @cutecutejames, @brassandblue, @poploppege, @slow-burn-sally, @castledock, anybody else who would like to!

#jamers i know our mutual friend already tagged you but i'm tagging u too

[thatonebirdwrites]

Why not

3 ships you like: Korrasami, Supercorp are the ones I write fanfiction for the most (dabbling in Rojarias tho). Captain Marvel and Maria Rambeau is another favorite ship, though I am also partial to Captain Marvel and Valkyrie...

First ship ever: I... honestly don't know. I actually didn't like romance in my stories or shows until late twenties. But I do recall being sort of obsessed with Lark and Rosethorn from Circle of Magic (and Circle Opens) series by Tamora Pierce. I was in my twenties when I realized they were romantically together, though I think I suspected it as a kid. I grew up Catholic, so queer stuff was frowned upon. Why it took me so long to come out too. The first fanfiction ship I ever wrote is Korrasami though.

Last song you heard: I'm currently listening to Angela sing Dearest from her 2005 You Get To Burning album. I have my music folder loaded up in foobar and set to randomized shuffle, so who knows what will pop up next. I've got rather eclectic tastes.

Favourite childhood book: I can't pick one! The ones that I read so much that they fell apart was: Diane Duane's Deep Wizardry, the Circle of Magic Quartet by Tamora Pierce, and A Ring of Endless Light by Madeline L'Engle. I'll note that the character I related to the most in ALL of these books was the bookish character (who sometimes wrote poetry).

Currently reading: The Calculating Stars by Mary Robinette Kowal and The Apex Book of World of SF edited by Lavie Tidhar.

Currently watching: RailCowGirl's Train Livestream on Youtube. Oh, you mean an actual show? Ummmm. idk. Whatever friends convince me to watch with them. Right now I'm between shows. Or rather I don't really have access to much. I was watching Star Trek Discovery (which I swear half the cast is queer), but I'm notoriously bad at actually finishing a series unless someone watches it with me. (TLOK being the exception.)

Currently consuming: hot and sour soup. I kind of want more tea tho...

Currently craving: sleep. Insomnia is bad tonight. :/ Hence me filling out a questionnaire that no one will read! yay.

Currently Playing: I decided to add this because I wanna know what games folks play! I'm currently playing: 1. Elder Scrolls Online - an MMO I play with friends, 2. Gamedec - excellent cyberpunk virtual novel/rpg, where you solve crimes in the virtual reality world. 3. Sherlock Holmes: The Awakened -- Detective Noir and horror story, 4. The Red Strings Club -- pour a drink to get a person talking to solve mysteries in a weird-ass cyberpunk world.

No pressure tags: anyone who feels like it.

#questionnaire #not sure why I did this #stole these questions from someone else

[wordborne]

All for Us

Jerome Valeska finds someone new to torment.

That someone is, unfortunately, you.

TAGS: Jerome Valeska/Reader, alternate universe, unhealthy relationships, bad decisions, canon-typical violence, major character death, eventual smut, Jerome can only be classified as nuisance to lover.

CHAPTER: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8/ 8

FANART BY baicalpascal 

Jerome was loud. Every time he came home, there was the snap of the door as he shut it. The jiggle of keys being tossed somewhere around the living room. The fridge opening and closing. His loud call of ‘honey, I’m home’ before he plopped on the bed next to you because, somehow, somewhere down the line, you’d woken up by his side and decided that’s what you wanted to do for the rest of your miserable days. 

“Sometimes I wish you hated me,” He said, trailing his hand down your cheek and leaving it there, cupping your jaw. He didn’t kiss you. He didn’t try anything else, either. He just stared.  You did the same, thumb caressing his cheek. He welcomed the touch with a grin. “Why’s that?” He shrugged. “Would make things easier.” “For you or for me?” “You.” “Since when do you care? “Touché.”

And, for that, you had to laugh before kissing him with the same ferocity he sometimes did, feeling his fingers flexing on instinct, the tenderness almost bruising now.

That’s the way Jerome loved. With imaginary bruises and pain. It was all he knew. All you ever wanted from him. And that little voice, the one that belonged in Arkham, basked in the feeling of his lips on yours. Told him you loved him, even if he stopped momentarily before kissing you harder.

“Of course you do.”

Of course.

How could you not?

It couldn’t be real.

But there it was, his name engraved in stone at last. The wind smelled almost sweet. And, in his chest, the pressure lessened the more he stared at the tombstone.

Jerome was finally dead.

He had to check for himself. To see the lone tombstone by a tree. It was almost poetic, seeing such a quiet resting place for someone like his brother.

Jeremiah wondered who’d made it so.

It was hard to recognize yourself in the mirror. Your eyes were rimmed red, the bags under them darker than ever. You’d cried until there was nothing but emptiness inside, and it still wasn’t enough. They took him away from you, said that little voice from Arkham, but you knew that, this time, it was spewing lies. He’d done it himself. You saw the footage. Him hanging on by a pipe. Detective Gordon’s hand reaching out to get him. And he’d let himself fall. He’d let himself fucking fall without even thinking about it and- A broken sob escaped your lips. Did he even think about you, in those brief moments before he let go? Was he selfless enough to think about anyone other than himself for one fucking second? Maybe he didn’t. Maybe he did. But it didn’t matter now. You’d heard rumors about a new tombstone and ventured out into the graveyard, finding it surrounded by some of Jerome’s groupies, smoking and drinking. And you weren’t thinking straight when you took the gun out of your pocket and aimed it directly at the first person you saw. “Leave. And take all that shit with you.” Venom spewed out of every word as they hurriedly picked up cigarette butts and empty beer bottles strewn around the grave, as if it was a place to party. Not to mourn. Just another landmark for them to hang out. Smiling. Laughing. It made your blood boil until every last one of them left, tail tucked between their legs, nervously looking at the gun and grumbling that you were no fun before you sat down in the grass beside Jerome. Here lies Jerome Valeska. Second time’s the charm!  “Fucking asshole.” And the tears were rolling again as you decided to laid down, staring into the cloudy sky, hoping that rain would come and swallow you whole so the tears would finally feel like something other than sorrow. Little pinpricks of cold. A bucketful of ice-cold realization.  Everything changed but nothing had changed at all. And that’s what hurt the most. Ruffled feet were heard. Quiet. Hesitant. Powerful. You raised your head and felt the image take your breath away.

He was there. Like a ghost. Skittish. Not scarred. Hair parted in a way you’ve never seen it before. He looked like the boy in the news, nose red, crying about his mother. But he was wearing glasses, and he avoided your eyes, frowning at the new tombstone as a woman stuck to his side. Impassive. Tense. Muscles taught just like the ones in your neck as you strained to look at them. He looked like Jerome. But he wasn’t. Wrong. Said the voice at the back of your head. And you agreed. He was wrong in a way you wanted to see more of. To see if you could catch a glimpse of Jerome in his eyes instead of the impeccable suit and tie. But you recognized him from those long nights where Jerome would let his mouth loose, talking about this and that. About his brother. Twin brother. “Fuck off, Jeremiah. You’re not welcome here.” And, with that, you were back to staring at the sky, still sprawled, seeing their presence on the corner of your eye.  The woman took a step forward and tossed something on the ground. You didn’t even flinch until Jeremiah spoke up. “I don’t want it. Figured whoever was here would.” You didn’t look at it until they left. Fingers closing in on worm leather, customized by colorful stickers that spelled Jerome Valeska. You held it with reverence. Looking at the pictures. Speaking over failed and successful plans. Stopping when you saw a crude drawing of yourself, x’s for eyes. I should kill her. She’s fun, I guess. No, she’s stupid. She gave me a key. She’s mine. I’ll bury her with me like the Egyptians did with the cats.

She’ll never get over me. Isn’t that a punch in the gut?

Even in death he was a pain in the ass. But how could you not feel your heart being ripped apart the more you scanned the pages. Saw his shitty handwriting and little drawings of things you had at home. The black and white tiles. The static from the TV. The stock image in the picture frame you kept in the living room to make it seem livelier.  He noticed. He noticed every single thing. Every imperfection. Every space even when he was away, forever recreated in those pages that you held close to your face as tears threatened to fall again. And he was right. You’d never get over him. Jerome Valeska wasn’t someone who you could get over. He wormed his way into your heart like a parasite, draining it for all it was worth. Blood. Pain. Tears.  Life had to go on. But not for now. Tonight you’d stay there, clutching his diary and looking at his tombstone, just like you did on the rare moments he fell asleep before you. With peace, and kindness, and everything he wasn’t and you wished he never was. And maybe. Just maybe. That gray piece of concrete would say third time’s the charm one day.

#Gotham #Gotham TV #Jerome Valeska #Jerome #Jerome Valeska/Reader #Jerome/Reader #Fanfiction #my stuff

[mari--lace]

Fic Writer 20 Questions

Thank you for tagging me @h1myname1sv!

1.) How many works do you have on ao3?

104 (it's not all fics, a few are fanvids. I do have a lot more fics in Italian not posted on Ao3, though.)

2.) What’s your ao3 word count?

137,912

3.) What fandoms do you write for?

A lot, I'm very multifandom! My current obsession is Daredevil and it led me to write on many other marvel characters (Natasha and Clint, Peter), an historical fandom of mine is Detective Conan and I might write something for it soon—if I manage.

4.) What are your top five fics by kudos?

What am I looking at, Matt? A short piece I wrote for fun right after watching 1x08 of She-Hulk; I was hyped and so was half the fandom.

A marvelous october collects the stories I wrote for last year's writober (mixed up with flufftober prompts). It's mostly Daredevil and it has a few chapters I'm pretty happy with, but I branched a little with other marvel characters (Kate, Clint, Kamala, Peter, Layla).

Ideas live forever (let your voice be heard) I'm really happy this story is so high here. It's a one-shot for Barbie [spoilers ahead]. After the ending, it follows Barbara adapting to the changes brought by her new life and coming to terms with things that didn't change—namely, her lack of attraction to anyone. AroAce Barbie for the win!

Three times Daredevil isn't a lawyer plus one short and fun 3+1 fic with Matt being sassy as Daredevil and Frank deducing something about his lawyer. (Secret identity who? Matt doesn't know her)

Not my friend (who are you?) I wrote this one for the dde promptfest, it was fun! It's about Brett reaching some conclusions of his own during S3 about his favorite (?) vigilante.

5.) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I usually do! Don't often know how to answer so maybe it's just a 💜, but I appreciate the people who comment and I try to let them know.

6.) What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

That's a tough one. I'm all for angst, but I need happy endings. (Or, well, hopeful ones.) The angstiend ending (and fic) I've ever written was my OC's reaction to her best friend's death, I'm pretty sure (it doesn't exist on Ao3).

7.) What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Now that's hard for the opposite reason, lol. I'll go with The joys and concerns of teaching magic bc it's more than slice of life/fluff for the sake of it, there is some trouble/action before the happy ending.

8.) Do you get hate on fics?

I don't think that's happened recently, no. I got hate for my ship back when I started, in 2013 in the Italian fandom, and it was awful, but I'm not 15 anymore and I think I'd react in a very different way now (I'd ignore them and keep writing whatever I want).

9.) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Nope. I don't believe I'm capable of it LOL <- same prev!

10.) Do you write cross overs? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I've written a couple in the past. Craziest probably was Detective Conan/Yu-gi-oh!

11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know.

12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don't think so.

13.) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Yes, I have, and it was super-fun!

14.) What’s your all time favourite ship?

Heeeh. I'm a multishipper girl, and often I'm perfectly happy with my favorite ships being platonic as well as romantic, so... I don't know. One of my oldest OTPs is Shinichi/Shiho from Detective Conan, I'll go with them.

15.) What’s a WIP you’d like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

My original fantasy novel. I haven't touched it in 3 years and right now it feels pretty impossible, but I do hope to get to plot and write it properly one day.

16.) What are your writing strengths?

Introspection, I think. And conveying emotions to the reader.

16.) What are your writing weaknesses?

Action scenes make me cry and descriptions are a work in progress ;_;

17.) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Absolutely, if it makes sense for the fic! Playing with languages is fun.

18.) First fandom you wrote for?

Naruto!

19.) Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

This question is so mean. They're my children! Okay, I do have favorites—plural. If I reeeally have to choose, probably What's in a soul? I'm really happy with how it came out, in Italian and English both.

No pressure tags: @usaigi @ceterisparibus116 @auofgoldandfantasies @folkloristico

#ask game #writing game #fanfic #ao3

[akai-anna]

1/3 Szia!Láttam a bingót, és pont jól is jött mert azt hiszem, hogy nem értek valamit. [Sokmindent] Megtennéd, hogy választasz 3 tetszőleges párost a Detective Conan-ből, és kitöltöd velük? (Bocs, hogy szabályt szegek de fontos, hogy te válassz, mert kíváncsi vagyok, de még nem tudom, hogy ki-kicsoda, és szerintem hiányzik a képből egy-két más fontos mozzanat is.)

(For non-Hungarian followers: I was asked to pick 3 optional ships from Detective Conan for this Ship Opinion Bingo. Answering in English to make it available for anyone who might want to read it.)

In advance: I have no self-control and ended up making a whole project of this, my deepest apologies that it got quite lengthy, Lizzy, hope you'll still have some fun reading this essay.

Notes:

me, failing right at step one: not 3 (i started thinking about, and kept coming up with more and more possibilities, then reduced them again to just A Few TM, I REALLY DID TRY) but 6 relationships which almost ended up as 9... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ *Oops!... I did it again starts playing*

relationship: i mean the word in its broadest sense (felt like confirming this bc i see it around in only a romantic context these days, so not only OTP sense of shipping but BrOTP sense too), meaning every and all kind of connections between people/characters, bc as an ace+aro non-romantic connections mean a lot to me

i checked everything that apply, even if they seem contradicting at first glance (just like fic: in one This thing applies, in the other This other thing applies sort of way)

i love you and these characters too much to just do the bingo without Commentaries TM (you poked the door with a stick and it slammed right open)

I. Kudou Shinichi/Edogawa Conan - Mouri Ran

The Main Pair of DetCo (As you have likely gathered from osmosis knowledge + WATCHING THE FIRST MOVIE, I AM STILL SCREAMING ABOUT THAT)

Elaboration on certain points:

Oh there's no way this will end well & I can make it so fucked up & I can make it so stupid: The Situation Is already fucked up, so I don't even have to do anything, and I'm here to see how it will unfold. And before it gets better (so not the ultimate end) they have to work through a really messy tangle of things. Also they are already endearingly stupid, so that is covered too.

I don't see them as romantic & In a Relationship & Most codependent bitches on earth: I do see them as romantic (DEFINITELY!) but they are so much more than just romantic; their relationship has so many wonderful layers. The deep connection they share is not just romantic; THEY SHAPE EACH OTHER. I view them as the Ultimate Example of the Soulmate trope: in every universe, they are connected and important to each other in one way or another. There is no Shinichi without Ran and no Ran without Shinichi. They can and do function without each other but also their driving force and motivation is very deeply rooted in each other.

brb gotta go through their whole ship tag: in progress, have been at it for a couple months now, still working on it.

Not dating but married nonetheless: ONLY DIDN'T MARK IT BC THEY ARE DATING (IT ONLY TOOK THEM ROUGHLY 1000 CHAPTERS!!!), AND IT'S A RUNNING JOKE THAT THEY ARE HUSBAND AND WIFE (Bless Suzuki Sonoko, the biggest ShinRan shipper and supporter out there).

A little ShinRan moment that I love:

⊱✿⊰

II. Takagi Wataru - Satou Miwako

The First Police Officer Romance of DetCo

I can make it so stupid: THEY ALREADY ARE, YOUR HONOUR, and love them that way.

Oh the devotion: just one thing to say and one to show. *inhales deep* Takagi Wataru is absolutely besotted, the sweetest man, Malewife Material TM. *shoves these particular panels in your face*

⊱✿⊰

III. Kudou Shinichi/Edogawa Conan - Hattori Heiji

The Detective of the East and West AKA Detective Buddies And Bestest of Bros

Basically canon to me & I don't really see them as romantic: THEY ARE THE BEST OF FRIENDS YOUR HONOUR, SUCH HIGH QUALITY FRIENDSHIP, THE LOVE THERE, THE WAY THEY CARE SO MUCH ABOUT EACH OTHER, IT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME I'm dYinG- (But also Heiji having the biggest Crush TM on Shinichi never stops being a source of joy because no one goes through the trouble of getting picked as a "Great Sherlockian" despite preferring Ellery Queen, to attend a Sherlock Holmes Fan meeting SO HE CAN POTENTIALLY MEET WITH HIS RIVAL HE MET THE ONCE AT THAT POINT, FCKIN DEDICATION THERE)

Compatible brand of freaks: they are definitely Weird TM, my little weirdo mystery maniacs, definitely forces of nature.

⊱✿⊰

IV. Kudou Shinichi/Edogawa Conan - Kuroba Kaito/Kaitou KID

To quote the creator: "But I wanted a rival that was an arch nemesis to detectives, natural enemy to appear. [...] who’s smart as Conan and can oppose him."

I can make it so fucked up & I can make it so stupid: Been there, Done That, Canon Already Provides.

I don't really see them as Romantic & In a relationship: I can see them as many things, be it platonic, partnership, romance, friendship, really, I'm not picky about the nature of their relationship for some reason.

brb gotta go through their whole ship tag: as with ShinRan, it's a thing in progress.

They enable the worst of each other & Compatible brand of freaks: reckless tendencies, the both of them, Ultimate Chaos Bringer Duo, also Bastards To Each Other TM. On the other hand: they are already competent on their own, but they can work really well together too, these absolute gremlins, Scarily Compatible And Competent.

Oh there's no way this will end well & Thematically delicious: complicated situations, Detective-Thief (have always been weak to the trope) business, really, there's bound to be at least a disaster or two.

⊱✿⊰

V. Mouri Ran - Suzuki Sonoko ( - Kudou Shinichi/Edogawa Conan)

Childhood Friends since the start of time (or at least kindergarten, together with Shinichi they make my beloved Sakura Trio)

General thoughts: THEY LOVE AND CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER SO MUCH, YET THERE IS SUCH LOVELY TEASING and the potential of stupid teenage shenanigans is STRONG. In any arrangement, they are dear to me, CHILDHOOD BESTIE SQUAD.

⊱✿⊰

VI. Takagi Wataru - Kudou Shinichi/Edogawa Conan

Police Officer of my heart and The Lil Gremlin Partnership

Basically canon to me & I don't see them as romantic: they proved time and time again that THEY ARE AWESOME PARTNERS IN MYSTERY-AND-CRIME SOLVING, SO MUCH COMPATIBILITY THERE, AWESOME WORKING TEAM, FCKIN CANON ON THAT ONE.

I can make it so stupid: as always, They Already Are, most endearingly stupid too.

They're sweet: THEY ARE SUPER SWEET, SO CUTE, THEY HAVE SO MUCH RESPECT FOR EACH OTHER AND CARE SO MUCH, EXCUSE ME AS I CRY.

brb gotta go through their whole partnership tag: I already have, and even tried other kind of searches to find more content of them, I'm crying. T_T

Bonus: Takagi Wataru, always the witness for his Cryptid Moments TM, and also is amazed by him since day 1 (even if he doesn't know Conan is Shinichi), and Shinichi feeling a kinship with him. (Amongst other things not mentioned here.)

Hope you enjoyed this weird ride, and if you have any questions about who is who, what is happening, or anything you are curious about, you know where to find me, Lizzy! (✿◕‿◠)~★

Bonus: you seemed to like the Kitten Hold, so have a litter of kittens as a goodbye.

#la junk talks #detective conan #manga #detco posting #asks #zserb #god this was a lot of fun even if there was no bingo at all hahaha #also i'm weird like that playing the game by my Own Rules TM #BUT i COULDN'T HELP IT THERE ARE SO MANY GOOD CHARACTER INTERACTIONS AND COMBINATIONS IN DETCO #i wanted to include the kids and ai and kazuha too so very badly but i feel that #making 9 out of 3 would be a bit Too Much TM #ANYWAYS I HAVE SO MUCH LOVE FOR DC excuse me for so much screaming skdbfksfnvkj #truly hope you have fun reading this

[pandorasaquariumm]

Playlist Meme

Thank you @civilization-illstayrighthere for the tag here! I really liked your songs and how you fit them with your V, and with Night City overall. I'll do the same as you did and look at the the two different versions of V I write. I always attach songs to my fic anyway and make 1000 playlists for every fic and character, I guess that's old fashioned?? But I've alwayyys done that.

Tryin' to be a hero, winding up a zero, Can scar a man forever right down to your soul.

My streetkid V is a worst-case-scenario everything's probably going to go to shit, plan for the worst don't hope for the best kind of guy. He sees the bad in NC, sees how the search for glory ruined Jackie, but, like Kerry, is rooted down to the ground and won't ever leave. I haven't actually seen this season that the song is from, but it fits V's disillusion. The things he's done, the mistakes he's made, he doesn't have time to figure out how to make up for it all when here is his own mortality, coming faster and faster.

No lights on the horizon, no sign of what's ahead If it wasn't for your kindness lately I'd never get out of bed

His feelings for Kerry are confused, really tangled up with how Johnny, inside V's head, feels for him. Here, Johnny and Kerry were never a real thing, but Kerry had feelings that were never addressed. What my V and Kerry find in each other is kindness that works both ways, despite all their personal flaws and past struggles. So there is hope, even with all the uncertainty in the future.

All of my old friends aren't so friendly And all of my old haunts are now haunting me

My fem V grew up nomad, and is trying to come to terms with returning to the nomad life after being in Night City for so long. For her, NC is poisonous, she can hardly even go back to visit, can hardly even talk to her old friends there. She gets from Judy the view that the only way to move on is to escape. She struggles to let go of the past and at the same time aggressively distances herself from it.

Can you distract me from all the disaster? Can you touch on me and not call me after? Can you hate on me and mask it with laughter? Can you lead me to the ark what's the password?

I feel like the core of her is the need for connection, her loneliness but difficulty in taking that step across and being really vulnerable. She relies on herself and defaults to self-protection. That's what she has to overcome to resolve things with Judy.

A few tags if anyone wants to do this with anything, whatever fandom, OCs, WIPs, your HCs of characters, whatever you like no pressure, sorry if this is something you've already done! <3 @moderndaycirce @miniature-space-hamster @timaeusterrored @morganlefaye79 @jaymber + anyone else who wants to do it and sees this tag me I'd love to see your music!

#cyberpunk 2077 #Cyberpunk V