#idk yall my identity is so confusing

[hyperrealisticblood]

thoughts on banwally. i've never played any of garten of banban so you are my only reference for what happens in those games and consequently, what makes banwally a compelling crackship.

buddy..... you have opened a can of worms you could have never prepared for

when or if I started shipping it: i actually have an exact date, may 29th of last year. everyone in my friends server is really into crackshipping so we like to share random ideas with each other and i posted them as an idea on that date. i have never been the same since

my thoughts: crackships are kind of hard to talk about in this context because there isnt anything canon to go off but ill do my best. when welcome home first started gaining traction i saw a lot of people saying "this is what good mascot horror looks like" (whether or not wh even counts as mascot horror is. debatable.) so me associating banban and wally with each other was already a thing before i started shipping them. at some point i realized they both have a lot in common (monotone voices, often associated with devil imagery, passive most of the time but gets a little Silly with it sometimes) and i was like woah.... they should kiss. again a lot of my thoughts surrounding them are based in headcanon so im struggling to talk about them in a way that doesnt make me sound fucking insane BUT im a sucker for pessimist/optimist ships and they very much fit that to me. i think they balance each other out in a way, wally is a bright spot in the Endless Misery banban deals with on a daily basis, and banban is pretty logical and grounded which levels out wallys spacey-ness. theyre very much a jessica and roger rabbit "he makes me laugh" type of deal but with the fun addition of identity issues and whatever the fuck wallys deal is

what makes me happy about them: the fact that theyre both freaks of nature (banban is a weird clone manmade abomination thing, wally is either straight up an eldritch entity or a manmade puppet with eldritch qualities) is another thing they have in common to me, so i think theyd be accepting of each others weird traits because they know what its like. banban doesnt give a fuck that wally is up to some scp shit, he might as well live in the scp containment facility. theres a kingdom run by a giant kangaroo woman with a magic scepter who is in charge of keeping a bunch of baby demons and the father(?) of those baby demons trapped in her pouch or else the entire kingdom will be destroyed. he has seen weirder. banban wouldnt just love wally because hes handsome and hes nice to people, he loves all of his weird traits too because they arent even weird to him.

what makes me sad about them: they lend themselves pretty well to angst (i hate that word but idk a better one to describe this) because theyre both from horror media, and i like to pelt my favorite characters with hammers so >:) my friends and i (same friends who got me into crackshipping) have a group rp thing going on, and theres a mini arc going on right now based on the fact that banban got SUPER fucked up trying to fight sir dadadoo and his army. wally wants banban to leave the kindergarten because of how dangerous it is, he wants him to live in home where he doesnt need to fear for his life all the time. but despite all the horrors he has to put up with, banban doesnt want to leave everyone in the underground behind. theyre still his friends, and he wants to protect them. as much as wally wants him to be safe, he understands where hes coming from because he wouldnt want to leave his friends behind either. this leaves him feeling really conflicted and confused, and the homewarming update taught us that wally doesnt do well with those kinds of feelings. just some thoughts for yall <3

things done in fanfic that annoys me: nobody except me would wanna write fanfic about them and im too depressed slash lazy to actually write anything so. uh

things I look for in fanfic: see above

my kinks: size difference where the top is the smaller one i have no such things. i am a man of the lord.

who i’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: wallaby (wally/barnaby) is pretty epic so if that ends up being canon i wouldnt be mad lmao. ive also been wondering if wally might end up whoever "w" is (the awayfrompryingeyes.net mod) because clown said theres another ship that will be canon but that he cant talk about because its inherently a spoiler somehow, id be fine with that too. not much to say about banban because gobb doesnt do romance aside from whatever the fuck nabnab and nabnaleena have going on

my happily ever after for them: things finally calm down at the kindergarten to a point where banban feels comfortable leaving to be with wally, and whatever the hell is going on with home also calms down. banban would still visit the others obviously (i think he would introduce some of them to wallys friends, barnaby and bittergiggle would get along super well i think) but he can finally be somewhere where he isnt constantly fearing for his life :]

uhh tldr dont say "what if i shipped this" as a joke. it will become no longer a joke and you will write like a million words about two characters from entirely different media who have never met and never will meet. worst mistake of my life

#wh #gobb #banban #wally darling #banwally #THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME THE CHANCE TO RAMBLE I AM AN INSANE PERSON. #honestly gobb is fun as hell you should check it out #like its stupid and theres unfortunately brief instances of ai fuckery which sucks but get a bunch of friends in vc and watch some longplay #your life will be changed forever

[incarnateirony]

COMMENCING THE CROMWELL INVOCATION ABILITY RESTRICTIONS LIFTED UNTIL THE ENEMY IS RENDERED FUCKING SILENT.

It's time to motherfucking show you how a Real Magician, or should I say, the real magus, does fucking battle, you fucking performing whore.

When will you guys onboard what the fuck is happening, and why it's happening, and accept that it is happening, as it happens in front of you? Like, deadass, you just legit want to ride my dick and worship me this bad??? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON.

All Hellsing jokes and planted data transfers aside. Legit. What's going through your brains at this point while you deny every single sign, even the ones that are starting to kill people around you when I summon frozen 3 for your road trip??? WHAT ISN'T CLICKING, WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO GET YOU TO MAKE THIS CRAZY BITCH LET US GO. WHAT DOES IT TAKE FOR YOU TO GET HER THERAPY FOR HER ADDICTION TO ME INSTEAD OF ENCOURAGING IT AND PARTICIPATING IN THE RITUAL MADNESS OF DELUSION?

HAVE YALL BEEN SUCKING ME SO LONG ON HER BEHALF YALL GOT ADDICTED TO MY TOWER TOO???????????? the fuck IS GOING ON.

lemme guess guys! Focus and attention is only power to YOU when you want to ignore something, but when literal hundreds of millions of people are all at a cross section of the superbowl shoved up a conceptual ass with a million well timed leaks rush shipments and hilarious beats driving literal millions into conceptual pits of psychic navigation-- IN THE SUPERBOWL-- she even admitted being called into and hearing herself scream @ herself in while her own shadow loses HER and isn't even trying to claim HER anymore but is becoming US, like, none of that matters. Her reblogging or hallucinating what I tell her to doesn't matter, and that's just the ones she's accidentally admitting by being too stupid. What do you think a hundred thousand cromwell evocations will fucking do. What's. Not. Fucking. Clicking.

You're STUCK until you get this bitch to let go or she will literally die, that is literally how this works. It may be a hard casket death like in many timelines, or it may be a spiritual one where she's recrafted into something unrecognizable from the monster she's become--literally already happening--and at the rate you're incentivizing her behavior, that will be a spiritual death she, and her persona, identity, or anything, is not involved with, rather than letting her transition into her true self.

Disgusting pieces of shit, all of you. Soulless as she's made herself without me in here moving her around. Holy shit, no wonder if took that long to get a message through to you dipshits about Crowley or confused personalities and how to divide them.

She wanted to make me her god, even if she got me confused. We are obliging. And now she's still running, and not looking at it, because again, it is all she knows how to do, and the truth and implications of this would literally be too much to bear, and it's a hole of lies you all built yourselves together.

Idk Shealyn, it's almost like you had the honor of your ex's apotheosized form and repressed shadow, that you were heavily the cause of the blockage on, running into you a few times, and thought you could keep "channeling" it even when EVERY form of him said that was a stupid idea. It is literally your refusal to let the ghost of me go. And now you're here. Getting rolled over by elsa in fornite and tartarus with the squids in Splatoon because you refuse to move the fuck on and cling to this Octopus Jibberish that will continue to bend reality itself around you. And all kinds of weird shit going on in your head when I tell it to. The Shin Megami Tensei, the True Reincarnated Goddess Struggle Tweet, keeps posting a shrimp laiden warning about the reaper, and us going back in to clean up your own messes while you try to sacrifice the dog, and I legit think Jagger came out smarter from his brief experience than his human owner is. That dog is now more woke than the woman pretending to be my or my brother's priestess.

[hopelesslyromanticshark]

Lovely Covey!!

I actually don't get the anon emoji thing either, but decided to do it and it's just so much fun for absolutely no reason. I like being kiwi anon. I think it would be fun to guess who the anons are, but then again I already accidentally gave my identity away to you.

For fun today I had my uncle who knows nothing about Percy Jackson guess a bunch of the characters names and it was so funny. He didn't get a single one right.

Also, I think I might officially ask my best friend out on Wednesday which is exciting and terrifying so we'll see if i really do! I know I kinda said that before, but I only asked him to be my date not actually date me so. did that makes sense? I've literally never done dating before so idk how it's supposed to work and I feel dumb about the whole trying to ask someone out thing 😭

Why do I ramble so much?

How was your day, Covey?

-🥝anon

if it makes yall happy, i don't really care, but it is slightly confusing that we have the anons to...ya know...keep you guys ANONYOMUS but then you want to do an event to reveal who you are?? see how the math isn't really mathing on that one??? don't get me wrong, i wanna know who each of you are, but this is a bit of a backwards way to do it lmao-

also i LOVE seeing those tiktoks they are always so funny!!! that must have been so much fun!!

okay okay i understand feeling dumb about it, but i promise you he's probs nervous too!! it doesn't have to be a super formal thing, just a simple offer for another date or whatever, ya know??? but CONGRATS that's so fun!!!

also...when did i become a relationship page??? i feel like i've got like three anon's im helping get boyfriends and what not and im feeling robbed over here, single af. but you know what they say, coach doesn't play, am i right??? (im crying, pls god send me a bf he doesn't even have to be cute all i ask for is funny-)

my day was longgggggggg lots of plane rides lmao and now im home and since i gotta be up in less than four hours for school, imma jsut pull an all nighter. this is genuinely a bad idea and i SHOULD be stopped but Y O L O !!

#return to sender ౨ৎ #all my love ౨ৎ

[chaosdisorganized]

Recently our therapy focus has been getting to know the system, increasing communication, and learning how to cooperate with each other and make decisions together. Of course I continue the work we've been doing in session outside of therapy, but things still haven't changed much. I don't know what I expected, but we're coming up on a year working with this therapist and I just feel like by now we should have at least a little bit of improvement, and maybe I'm just not noticing it but to me everything is the same. I mean yes our communication has gotten a little better, we're learning how to differentiate between each other and how to recognize parts, who they are, and stuff like that. But my day to day life is still the same. We're still heavily dissociated most of the time, we're still blurry a lot, the amnesia and identity confusion and other symptoms have been the same. I've been in therapy for a long time now, turns into a decade this year, and while I've made big strides in recovery, my symptoms are still out of control, hardly manageable, and I still feel like my life belongs to my disorders and not to me, to us. I know it takes a long time, we have a lot of trauma and inner turmoil that seems to never end, I know a handful of alters who hate me, hate each other, distrust, resentment, it's all just so much. Getting to know the system and meeting new alters all the time has been so overwhelming. I know its a whole process and being polyfragmented means the processes of learning the system will probably take a really long time. It's so overwhelming all the time. I can't handle life I feel so hopeless and powerless. I feel bad for saying I wish I had a smaller system because I know we all have unique struggles, but damn, I can't take meeting new alters all the time everyday. I can hardly remember most of them and really only remember the ones who are around the most. I still only know a handful of alters and our gatekeepers say there's hundreds. Some turmoil has been stirring up too since all this meeting the system stuff started happening. It's stressful I feel like nobody can really understand how hard it's been so I feel so alone. My partner is really supportive and understanding but even he can't wrap his head around half this shit. I can't even wrap my head around it and it's all in my head! I feel like I should have more control and I should know more since it's all my experience, but I'm so clueless. I've had multiple alters try to help me understand how the system functions and I still don't get it. I'm so confused and scared and idk what to do anymore. I feel like yall are getting tired of hearing all these vents and rants, I'm sorry. I'm at a loss. I'm at the end of my rope. I'll keep trying but things don't look very promising. That's all I guess.

#vent

[chemicalcarousel]

okay so i have this theory that even neurotypicals & singlets don't always know who they are

cw // fakeclaiming , identity confusion , identity disturbance

what i mean is that we dont always consciously think "i am bob, i like to read about birds and i need my morning coffee" or something like that. we just exist. we just do things. and then if we run into some situation that require us or just reminds us of recognising who we are, most people would probably be able to define themselves, but even then a lot of the immediate response is something we have learnt and just automatically reply with, like the made up example i put in quotation marks earlier. most people, no matter the brain, will be confronted with the fact that they actually dont fully know who they are. especially in your teens and as a young adult, but also later in life. here erik erikson jumps to mind with his theory of identity conflicts at certain life stages, which i think many people can relate to

well, my personal experiences have lead me to this understanding at least. whenever i've attended something and people have to present themselves, many actually struggle a bit. and how many of yall saw people around you figuring out that they actually were trans/gay/queer/ect when we all had to socially distance and got more time to realise more sides of ourselves? I know i did. i have friends who did

okay now this is just a rant. this always happens, my apologies. idk i just find personality psychology and the concept of identity super interesting and honestly i could discuss it for ages (i feel sorry for my friends /lh)

conclusion: no one knows who they are at all times, so if you feel like it is a sign of faking when you dont know who you are and have to think about it - just know that even people with one single identity to manage can get confused too and have to do some soul searching to learn who they are besides "basic characteristics"

peace & love, an alter in a system who's not sure who they are <3

#sorry i cant fucking write coherent shit /lh #tw fakeclaiming #actuallydid #actuallyosdd #actuallyosddid #actuallypdid #actuallyplural #actuallymultiple #actuallydissociative #actually did #actually osdd #actually osddid #actually pdid #actually plural #actually multiple #actually dissociative #identity confusion #identity disturbance #pluralgang #ours #migth be #levi here #and maybe also #yo its sof

[cosmo-the-overseer]

Gender/sexuality struggles below I’m pondering the Frivolities again and it’s not going well I’m inscrutable even to myself

it’s long be warned

What is gender. What does it feel like to yall

same goes with attraction

Cause like. I’m not sure if I’m feeling it

I know that I like women more than men but like. It’s in a way that I’ll see a guy everyone is calling hot or attractive or handsome and it’s like. Wow that sure is a guy. He looks. Neat. I guess? Idk and then I’ll see a woman who everyone is calling beautiful or hot or attractive and I’ll say something like wow she looks very pretty :) and I’ll see someone androgynous or something and I’ll be like wow they look so cool and. Idon’t know what I am anymore? And also I’ve never had a crush??? So no help from myself there and with gender it’s. ????? Not there????? i want to look androgynous or slightly more masculine and fuck up what people think of me as, but yet I try to ask myself what gender I am I come up with nothing. I’m used to being female, but it feels flimsy or nonexistent. and so does being male. And yet I feel too gender to be non binary and yet I also am not gendering???? And yet I still typically go by she/her??? But also not????? Smh my head I’m getting confused over the trivial again 😔

in conclusion I think I’ve just written a better paragraph than what I’ve ever written in English class with the whole 2 points of evidence and stuff and yet it’s still disappointingly mid smh my head😔 anyways this has been my tri-yearly identity crisis- gender edition! Am I aroace? Am I gay? Am I agender? Am I cis? Who the fuck knows! Certainly not me!

#I speak #and I’m confused over gender and sexuality again #Smh i almost managed to go a whole half year without getting confused again #I’m certainly not straight though #I think #it’s funny though cause I’ve gone from thinking I was in order: #Straight-> aroace->lesbian asexual-> aroace(+nb!)->lesbian(back to cis)-> ??????? #Yallsies now get a peek inside my head #Next up I’m gonna talk about the Nihilism/j #Vent #ish #half-vent #But silly #Just wanted to scream into the void if not with my lungs then with my fingers #👍 #oh I forgot to mentipn #There’s this one person I know #And we’re kinda jokingly flirtatious w oeach other #And idk how I feel abt that like am I feeling platonic or am I feeling romantic. My brain won’t tell me #Urghh #Anyways toodles

[unimportantweirdo]

queer platonic relationships are making a lotta sense right now

also i'm trying to find a word for someone who might not necessarily be poly but would totally be okay with being in a polycule (?) or a poly relationship

#queer platonic relationship #pansexual #genderfluid #greysexual #polyamarous #like yes please please hold my hand #but the pressure from a romantic relationship? exhausting #doesnt everyone wanna hug their friends all the time tho? #like yes i do want to kiss your cheek but platonic #idk yall my identity is so confusing #qpr #qpp

[snekdood]

oh and by the way if i wasn’t making my posts clear enough: queer doesn’t have an appearance to me. to bigiots, they have dog whistles to signal how they perceive queer people to be and how they want other people to see them, but since im not that and i am queer, i dont subscribe to their narrative of what queer looks like (flamboyance, being dramatic, etc) and i don’t think anyone else should either bc there is no one singular appearance that screams that someone is queer and maybe sometimes ppl who dress a certain way aren’t queer!!!!!!!!! crazy i know, its an amazing vast and wild world out there !

#its actually pretty rude to assume anything about someone without asking them also! #like ik ppl like this call random dudes eggs bc they dress fem lol #yall are so creepy keep your identity discovery to yourself not everyone thinks the same way as you #maybe he just wants to wear a skirt my dude #sure its bending the binary but thats only physical presentation and has nothing to do w identity............................ #yall seem to confuse the two though. not me bc im builp dipperent #maybe instead of trying to reclaim all villains as queer regardless of their actions we just stop letting non queer ppl tell us that queer #ppl all look like villains idk #kinda like what im doing w my comic... since all of my ocs are queer and don't look like a super villain........ #welll. minus snake lol #if u want a queer coded villain but whos actually a good guy u should just simp for my self insert idgi lol #truly i think people are limiting their imagination if they consider zero to be queer coded but dont want to agree he's straight #ig straight guys cant dress w a vampire aesthetic or else it makes them generally queer eggs lol.......... #really strange ye all are #like zero is loosely based off of my dad (as well as other things and experiences in my life) and though my dad is probably the straightest #dude in the world whos a conservative christian who lives in texas and who would never question his sexuality #inspite of all of this he cares A LOT about appearances. i cares A LOT about looking a certain way and his aesthetics and looking 'spiffy' #so that's where my inspiration for zero being like that even comes from #so please. if my dad can be this way naturally i think zero can too lol #please stop limiting your imagination so much and assuming the worst bc you think im weird and cringe #he cares a lot about looking...* #addition: im queer so ofc my characters are 'queer coded' to some degree. like i said on another post. u really think im gonna waste time #drawing a boring suit on zero when i love fashion and can spice things up more?? #sure ig i could do that during his business meetings when he cant dress like a super villain in front of his Business 'Friends' bsjsjaka #but otherwise. hes a rich man. he probably has a million ties. hes gonna spice things up a bit #on that note. even though i dont necessarily draw all the intricate clothes i imagine my self insert being in (usually bc i imagine them #while listening to music) nonetheless my self insert id say. dresses far more queer than zero could ever dream of shajjajs #anyways idk. ive always drawn him in this sorta way and ill be damned if you take spandex away from my super villains #if its queer coding to make him wear spandex then sue me #posting this preemtively bc ik ppl are gonna be weird abt his spandex. sorry that i see him when i imagine a super powered vampire

[smth-against-dogs]

aaahhhhhh gender what the fuuuuuckkk

#and welcome back to this episode fo Ezra's gender crisis! #man this week has been a fucking ride and it's literally only goddamn wednesday #i aint gonna get into my shit but let's just say that gender crisis really couldnt have come at a more inoportune time lmao #i think am boy? #at least somewhat #aaaaaa idk i might ask for some ppl i know irl to start trying out he in certain situations #cuz now shits changing and i dont know why but im going with what feels right and he is feeling more and more right for me #mmmmmm fuck gender is confusing #how are yall doing lmao #maybe send me some asks if you want ill try to get to them #before my whole fucking brain combusts #im sorta stressed #ngl #i have this deep sinking feeling that some of my irl friends are gonna turn on me or something with the pronoun change #even tho that wouldnt happen because they're all incredible ppl and i love them all so much #but my brain is a dick and it wont stop screaming that everyone will hate me if my identity shifts at all because i learn more abt myself #AAAAAAAAAAAAGGHHHHHHHHHH

[bitterblight]

.

#so like #i realised im probably not cis about a year ago right #but. trans as label felt just. really wrong for me? nonbinary felt fine but trans. idk #slowly though it's started feeling. more fitting ig? it feels less 'off' #do i know what this means? no #honestly i am extremely confused about the whole gender thing #and i do not have the patience to figure it out #but this is. idk is it progress? it's something idk #honestly i was in denial about my sexuality for so long like 'no other people can be queer and i love and support them but i CANT' so #could it be the same thing but with gender? am in denial? idk yall #with my sexuality though i found a label and it just. it just clicked immediately. it felt so right #but with gender identities. fuck nothing clicks. some labels feel more fitting but they still don't /click/ #nothing fits quite right and. idk #anyway the original point was that trans still doesn't feel quite right but it also doesn't feel wrong anymore

[presumenothing]

ooohhhh permission to word dump in your ask box??

but no my head is mostly [happy static], i'm just thinking a lot about names and how the 'infantilizing' joke name JollyBaby uses as its public name isn't all THAT dissimilar from "Murderbot", in that can probably both be taken as jokes on the way humans perceive them, except "Murderbot" is private because identity and perception and direction are things it's still struggling with, and the name "SecUnit" is safe, allowing an amount of ambiguity and freedom with regards to "feelings" and "friendship" and "having to decide your life's direction for yourself"

like, yeah humans do basically see SecUnits as murderbots, which is funny and a joke because it's wrong - SecUnit is not a bot, and it is not optimized for Murder; that isn't its job because it is not a combat bot and why would it need to spend so much time babysitting humans then. but also it deactivated its governor module after an incident where it killed its clients, and it isn't actually sure how or why that went down. so maybe "murderbot" isn't so wrong. which is not very funny. and even in NE, Thiago is very pointed about insinuating that SecUnit could have left some Targets alive, and either chose not to or can't help defaulting to killing. which, SecUnit doesn't think he's right or anything, but it rankles. and it Knows that calling itself "murderbot" is going to go down so badly

and then you have Murderbot 2.0, who does not have any of that, uh. baggage. 2.0 does not consider its name private because 2.0 knows exactly what it's for, why it's here, wherr it's going, and how to get to the finish line, and none of that is in conflict with its designation as "Murderbot". 2.0 has its "win condition" written in.

and at the end of Network Effect, seeing SecUnit verbalize a sense of belonging (not as an object, but as a person-with-a-Home) as well as a desire and direction. and surrounded by people who would hear "Murderbot" and associate it with security rather than The Terminator. hhhhgghogh

i think this turned out both longer and more incoherent than i planned for but mobile is a finicky creature that will not let me scroll up or edit so i am very sorry but ALSO thanks So Much for being the push that got me to finally pull this out of my eternal "to read" list. aaaa

ok first of all yall have 24/7 permission to come and word dump in my inbox anytime over whatever intersecting interests we have

and secondly "murderbot as a name is a sort-of joke except it's Not Funny" is a good point!! i guess BabysittingConstruct was taken?

[rest of text under cut]

it's that one night vale tweet that goes like "confused? sounds like you're human. good luck!" except it's not just humans (the audience is shocked and offended). life is so much simpler when you're just MurderWare 2.0: killware on your planet, having perfect alignment between its name and purpose? it's more likely than you think!

and that just brings So Many questions. at which point post-ganaka pit and/or the hack did 1.0 decide on a name? (or even decided to have one?) imo it's interesting that 2.0 has enough of 1.0's memory archives to recognisably be murderbot but doesn't automatically Nope at using murderbot as a name. 2.0's name/purpose alignment aside, it also means that whatever memories 1.0 felt was enough to maintain 2.0's integrity/prevent a killware spree did not also contain the idea that P.S. Hey We Don't Tell People We're Called Murderbot Thanks!!!! different subsets of memories or something.

(2.0 does point out this wasn't in its instruction set, but tbh it's pretty understandable that 1.0 didn't put it in, given it would obviously never think to use it. maybe it assumed 2.0 would use its local feed address if needed?) (except killware ain't got hardware lmao)

this is getting as long as your ask but names are just Very Neat. rereading the setting-feed-ID bit in fugitive telemetry and on the one hand i appreciate that indah didn't insist on it providing a ~Real~ Name Which Is Not SecUnit. but. on the other hand, this is (a) in line with her desire to post a warning of DANGEROUS SECUNIT ON BOARD *siren noises*, and (b) possibly closer to how inanimate software like secsystem is treated, since many preservation bots seem to have names (though idk if they set those in their feed)

ANYWAY names as in "word you call yourself" vs "identifier you want others to call you", etc etc. i don't think this was coherent either but i'm glad i managed to get you around to reading the books!! also you should check out the two short stories if you haven't already

#they're easily findable via google on wired and tor #murderbot #asks #anonymous #long post #........very long #libby crashed on me right halfway through writing this so i can't check for sure #but the way mb outlined its options for a feed name as using feed address = being assumed as bot #suggests that bots don't set their names there either?? idk #edit to add: come join the murderbot discord anon. there's emoteunits. they're great

[ihaveafandom-problem554]

Ok same anon with the weird dreams greetings—

Sooo I saw that you’re accepting Halloween related requests and you know I’m a sucker for the bitch douma..

idk just some weird crack headcanons (or oneshot if u dont mind) request with douma somehow transporting to our world probably from baking after being done with his shit and they see reader with a good ass cosplay and they look almost identical to him, they got the voice down and everything.

so reader is just… I dunno passing out candy to the children and douma is kinda just being a weirdo and trying to figure out where the fuck he is and just observing reader.

Somehow they meet and reader is just like “Omg I love your douma cosplay it looks WAY too real lmao” and douma is just… what ?? :D

Idk what happens next it’s up to you but reader just finds out that he somehow came here and is now literally fearing for their lives like they’re actually terrified and douma is just in the living room wondering how the Nintendo switch works.

yeah that’s all I got okay thank u byeeee

This is going to be fun

Douma has been staring at his look alike for the past hour with his eyes wide open. They looked so pretty dressed like him!

After being randomly thrown in this strange world, a mirror could really calm his nerves (What nerves exactly? I don't know)

After a while Douma sees that the person was waving at him and his first thought was "Ooo! A new friend!" so he walked up to them and complimented on the similar resemblance to him

"Aw Thanks! I love your Douma cosplay as well!"

".....Cosplay?... I don't know what that means but what are you giving those little humans? Is it poison?"

Big confusion

You started to question him if this was his first time celebrating

And he answered that this was his first time hearing about this

Two things were currently going through your head

"Is this guy serious? Or He's just acting like Douma to fit the cosplay?"

You explained what Halloween was to this guy and he immediately wanted you to take him out so he can have a Halloween experience

You swear everything happened so quickly

Yall went trick or treating, went to 3 different parties and 15 haunted houses

You were so surprised that you managed to do all of that in one night. You didn't know if this guy had a place to stay at the moment so you let him stay at your place until he had a ride or something.

What you didn't know, was that he wasn't done hanging out with you. He didn't get the message that you were tired so he continued to ask so many questions about everything. What's in your house, how do you use them, does it explode?

"Your telling me you don't know what a Phone is?"

"Nope! Not at all.. I wonder if it'll bring any use to Muzan-sama"

"Ok.. I get it your in a Douma cosplay, Halloween's over. You can stop now"

"Cosplay... Lots of people have complimented me on my 'Cosplay'.. I don't know what that is... also can we close the windows? I don't wanna burn a day after I've had so much fun with you! I want to hangout with you more!"

It was honestly getting on your nerves how he was still acting like Douma.

But in the deep depths of your mind, you started questioning if this guy really Douma due to the fact he really looked like him.

His Cosplay was insane and you couldn't help but question it.

You eventually had to find out of he was Douma or was just some weirdo you let in your house

As he was closing all the windows and the curtains you pricked him with a pin and watched his reaction

First of all he didn't even feel it-

Second of all you saw his skin morph back in its original form

It scared the living shit out of you cause there's one a fucking demon in your house

And two It's a women eating demon in your house. Who knows if he's hungry!!

You personally dont know if you should call the police, kick him out, or hide him

The police are going to be useless.. and if you kick him out how knows what will happen if you leave him alone (It's Douma..who knows what he's gonna do)

Hiding him in your house was the only option, but you couldn't help but wonder what you were gonna feed him

"[Name]-dono! What's this red and blue device? It has all these buttons on it.. what happens if I press one- OOO! It did something! [Name]-dono you have to show me what this is! And maybe tomorrow night we can go to another party again! Or! Or! Go trick and treat! Ah, that's how you say it right? Trick and treating?"

Maybe you can worry about it when it comes..

•♤•♤•♤•♤•♤•♤•♤•♤•♤•♤•♤•♤•♤•♤

We are not going to ask why this took so long ok? Ok.

#demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #kny #kny douma #demon slayer douma #douma headcanons #Douma #muzan

[rouge-the-bat]

uh oh another person whos repeating allll the same bullshit thats totally havent been shouted out to me a million times before ! seriously yall, i havent changed my mind about bi lesbianism even after being attacked and told to die so many fucking times, wtf do yall think ur gonna achieve here lol.

lesbian isnt an exclusive term and never had been, learn some queer history idiot! i literally have sources on my bi-lesbian blog in my #history tag! and plenty of people use it as an umbrella term still bc ~gasp~ people use words different than you 😱

literally explained the nonbinary situation in my last ask but like whup dee doo that doesnt matter bc u clearly talk for all enbies ever huh? what do you think about very man aligned enbies also? are they all inherently excluded or included in your eyes? (rhetorical question, dont actually want an answer obv youre an idiot) again not all enbies are comfortable with lesbianism since people like you think its ~oooh so strict~ and others deem it ~exclusively women loving women~ and a lot of enbies dont want to be possibly perceived as just a woman, even if theyre woman aligned! (while some man aligned enbies are perfectly comfortable with fallin under lesbian attraction bc, identities are complex!) if yall fucks would finally let lesbian be defined fluidly and can sometimes hold exceptions depending on person, like every other gd fucking queer label, then i think this issue would be resolved since more enbies would feel less like theyre just being seen as a women due to exclusionistic lesbians.

yeah bi women or other mspec ppl love women just the same as lesbians, i literally never say otherwise, so idk why ppl always say that to me lol? like it feels YALL have some internal biases yall need to convince urself through, not me. lesbian has simply included bi women for forever before lesbian separatists (aka radfems) deemed them as lesser (and aiding in their own oppression) and tried forcing them out. / but oh yeah me calling myself a bi lesbian is tooootally saying i think bi women are lesser forms to lesbians /s 🙄

people who have exceptions to their sexuality or EXTREMELY extremely rare attraction to certain genders is not just "bi with a preference" unless they feel like that accurately describes them, but a lot dont. me as an example! if ud look at any of my posts i have a really complex/confusing attraction due to being arospec and cupioromantic, and dont see how defining gender-based orientations extremeley rigidly can work well since gender is extremely complex and fluid. along with a ton of other factors that makes me feel best described with bi lesbianism. bc ppl by nature are complex and dont need to and cant always fit into lil neatly defined terms, darling

you probably also deem the split attraction model as an aros and aces only thing too, huh? because sexuality being complex and different than yours is just soo so impossible right?

"invalidates both lesbians an bi women" ah yes becuase thats totally an objective, factual statement! and no lesbians and bi women who are not bi lesbians would ever support bi lesbianism huh? except, oh ive met plenty who do! surprise surprise a lot of queer people support other queer people who are different than them and have complex identities, bc thats what the whole fucking community is for, lol. stop acting like you speak for everyone of a label, queer people are not monoliths ♡

maybe branch out of ur lil exclusionist circle for once and try talking with more queers with complicated orientations and stop trying to fit all of us into rigid boxes 🤪 trying to assimilate the queer community in a neat and tidy and ~respectable~ way isnt gonna win you any brownie points with the homophobes, honey

stop drinking the radfem koolaid, also. all of this literally falls right into their rhetoric. a lot if not all of exclusionism does, actually

#only responded to this bc im feeling wordy and sassy lmao #anyways get fucked dicknut #im a bi lesbian and im not the only one. were not going anywhere #die mad about it 😘 #bi lesbian

[dog-teeth]

hi. question. agh.

this is kinda weird but uh idk. i've been depersonalized lately due to a dream about my abusive bio parents and i haven't been really feeling... male. so i decided to fuck around with pronouns and found out i'm okay with he/it pronouns. the problem is idk if this a degradation thing due to my bio parents calling me an "it", or because i'm disassociating and disconnected from my body, or like, an actual part of my gender identity.

do you have any tips on figuring this shit out :(( sorry

firstly, i’m sorry you’re dealing with depersonalization/dissociation, i struggle with that a lot and it sucks. some trans people do use it/its pronouns, and that’s cool! it can be a way to reclaim language that has been used against you. i would say that if you want to use those pronouns, you should keep trying it out. it makes sense for your personal history and your relationship to identity to affect your gender presentation, i know my gender is personally very affected by my dissociative disorder, cuz like, sometimes i don’t feel like a person at all, so i don’t feel gender at all, or my dissociation will affect the way i want to be perceived, which will translate into my gender presentation.

generally i would say that there’s no reason not to explore a type of gender presentation that you think could make you more happy and comfortable, and that applies to pronouns, especially unconventional ones.

i can’t tell you how to figure out if it’s part of your identity or not or what’s causing you to want to use those pronouns, all i can say is that the best way to figure it out is usually not just thinking harder about it, it’s generally more helpful to continue to live your life and keep experimenting with it and pay mindful attention how you feel. i know gender is confusing already and bringing mental health into it is a whole other added layer of confusion and stress, but i think you’re on the right path already just by questioning and experimenting, and time usually helps these things as you get more used to the feelings and are able to notice patterns within yourself better. good luck <333

edit: theres some good replies in the notes to look at too! thanks yall

#ez answers #advice #gender stuff #Anonymous #abuse mention #abuse tw

[bi-spy-who-might-be-high]

So obviously this came from insta and it speaks for itself.

For me i use bisexual because ive been through hell with that term. I came out as bi about 6 years ago and my mom lectured me for 2 hours over how i was sinning and gonna go to hell and all that bullshit and even convinced my dad to be mad out me ( they were both drunk and forgot i even came out so I just went back in the closet. They were the only two i came out too) so i last yeat I came out again as bi and it has went way better. My mom has grown and learned to be more accepting (she still has work to do but she is actually trying and has even offered to take me to pride which shocked me because i didnt think she was that cool with it) my dad makes dad jokes about and laughs whenever i make a stupid joke involving being bi. The rest of my family knows too and the only one who doesnt accept is my grandmas sister but she isnt that important and her acceptance doesnt matter. It wasnt until a few months ago that soemone said pan fit me better and yeah it probably(idk if i spelt that right it looks weird to me) does but me and the term bisexual ive been on a journey together and i feel so fucking proud when im around somd asshole and they over hear me talking about a girl I have a crush on and they are like "oh so your a lesbian. Did you even give boys a chance? (Legit had someone say this to me and my mom was like stay calm and i was like tf) anywas when they said that i went " ive had a bf before he ended up dating my best friend (ex bff)" them "oh so what you dated one and decided they were all terrible and went lesbian" me "im actually bisexual so no i didnt just give up on boys". Anyways I feel proud when i declare im bisexual idk its just so empowering to finally be able to say it and not worry about how my parents are gonna react and to just say it out loud is amazing. When i came out the first time it was hell and afterwards i had to listen to some bullshit until they changed and i was finally able to come out again and it felt so good to have my dad make a joke on how i couldve came out to everyone. Also this is my first time going to pride and being out. (I sent once with my aunt when i was really little and didnt understand anything or know what i was) and i fr lowkey feel like crying because im supposed to be going this year and on top of that my mom is gonna go with me to show support like idk its so amazing to me. So yeah sometimes there might be a term that fits someone but its their sexuality and they get to say what makes them feel comfortable. Obviously i love my pansexaul siblings in the LGBTQ+ community but bisexual was what i held onto when i had to listen to my mom be hateful. I held onto that term telling myself one day I was gonna come out and be happy and proud and not have to be scared my mom was gonna kick me out or scared she would talk shit with my other aunt. I told myself i was gonna come out as a loud and proud bisexual and now i have people telling me that it would be better to call myself pansexaul like excuse you but this is my sexuality and this is the term i had a journey with and now im gonna wear it proudly. Like i said ive been to hell with this term and i love all the other sexual identities but this is my term and im not gonna give it up based on someone elses opinions. Im bisexual and proud.

Sorry if this was way too long and confusing. I just wanted to share why i use bisexual over everything else. Saying im bisexual makes me happy and its comforting everytime i say it out loud.

I love yall and please be safe.

#bi pride #bisexual #bisexual pride #this is my sexuality #lgbtq pride #trans pride #asexual pride #lgbtq #pan pride #lesbian pride #nonbinary pride #wlw pride #encouragement

[luckycheesefoodie321]

ok...ok ok ok... ok... so I watched Mulan (2020)... spoilers + LONG POST (yo this took me an hour and a half)...

before yall scream at me for spending money on it, lemme just say i was fully intending to wait until December so that I would not have to give even more money to the Disney machine (especially in light of things that happened with John Boyega) nor endorse individuals who support police brutality or oppression... but my mum and sister nagged me to buy it so we could watch it now, and explaining the politics of supporting both Disney’s greed and the controversy around the lead actress and would’ve just frustrated us both so I paid for it -_- please don’t crucify me... 

also want to preface this by saying I am not Chinese (though I am Asian), and I understand that the 1998 film and this film have inherent issues, given neither were directed by Asian directors, let alone Chinese ones... so the representation of the Chinese culture is likely flawed (and likely straight up wrong) in many ways... additionally, Li Yifei has been shown to support the actions of police in Hong Kong, so just know I’m viewing her role purely from an acting and movie standpoint...

now that’s done... general rating for the movie

when compared to the original animated film (my favourite Disney movie of all time): scrapes by on a 5/10

movie that stands on its own as I watched it (just note I’m the type of person who can enjoy pretty much anything - even if I’m hyper-critical of it): 7/10 (I’m very generous but my viewing experience was nice)

if I break it down completely into its underlying faults and wash away the Hollywood sheen and the nostalgia filter: 4/10 for themes 8/10 for cinematography and the technical aspects... (this movie was gorgeous to look at and had some really fun camera work, sue me for enjoying the visuals)

Full SPOILER review:

For the most part, my nostalgia filter from the animated film, which I dearly dearly love, basically had me ecstatic anytime there was even a hint of a reference to the animated film (see: occasional notes from the songs), and also sorely disappointed when the acting or the general pace pulled the fun or the emotion from key points (see: A Girl Worth Fighting For being abruptly cut off upon seeing the carnage would’ve been so much more impactful because they actually showed the bodies in the 2020 version but instead we got this kinda funny convo referencing the lines completely separated from that scene)...

The biggest issue I have with the film is that Mulan was naturally skilled from the beginning and was told to suppress her abilities.. making her OP from the beginning undermines the 1998 journey where we see every step of her development both in physical ability and her emotional struggles... then through her wits, intelligence, and strategy, as well as being on par and even better than her fellow soldiers, she manages to defeat Shan Yu and makes us feel her “Hero” status is very much earned... so it takes away from what the 1998 film tried to show in suggesting Mulan could just OP her way to victory at the drop of a hat.. and also implied her being dishonest about her true identity was her primary flaw? idk thematically they were trying to be super empowering of women and the capability of women, and the boxes women are forced into according to society... but then suggest Mulan was always inherently gifted/had a special power and that is why she succeeded, while the other soldiers worked hard and effectively achieved the same goal (albeit in a less flashy manner)... so the message gets very confusing...

i felt that Xian Niang (was that her name?), the Witch, had a lot of potential, but I was also really concerned they introduced her to make sure Mulan had a female enemy to defeat, and Shan Yu/Bori Khan was a minion of this female enemy... so in that sense I’m glad she served as a foil to Mulan... I would’ve liked the parallels more if the “being your true self”/”bring honor to us all” theme wasn’t so muddled... Mulan was accepted while XIan Niang wasn’t because they both had powers, but then Mulan convinces her to take the noble path and so Xian Niang died for her? idk there was a better way to fold her into the story...

Shan Yu/Bori Khan was about as much as I expected from him... I think he matched Shan Yu for skill, though idk about ferocity or intimidation power, though the actor was decent enough... but I did enjoy his and Mulan’s fight... less impactful because he didn’t even know about her and how she was the one to take down most of his army...

didn’t mind that Mushu was missing... fondly referred to the phoenix as Mushu (though I understand there may be cultural missteps in a phoenix being the spirit/ancestor/guardian)...

I also didn’t mind they removed the power imbalance between Shang and Mulan and had her love interest be a fellow soldier...I really liked Yoson An’s character actually...but the romance element was significantly dialled back, so we didn’t get the bisexual icon that is Li Shang... also Li Yifei’s emotional acting was normal but not outstanding... so her feelings for Honghui didn’t really register much except for that first time they chat in the barracks about girls, and right before she goes home... (just me being pouty about him not joining the Imperial Guards to Mulan’s home and presenting himself for matchmaking... though I understand it was to keep focus on Mulan’s journey, not her love interest)...

while it probably wasn’t the intention of the 1998 film, the positive portrayal of gender fluidity, the specific empowerment of trans and bisexual individuals through Mulan and Shang (bc let’s get real, he was just as attracted to Ping as he was Mulan), all did not ring in quite the same way in the 2020 version... again I’m not part of either community, so I can’t say for sure, but this is what I read from it...

overall the fun was taken out, with the songs... I would say this is probably on the higher end of Disney Live Action adaptations, there were some fun moments and funny dialogue even, and I didn’t mind that they were trying to do something different, unlike some of the others which made it note for note the same... but ultimately the biggest flaw of most of the adaptations are that it removes the fun and the levity in lieu of a more serious tone... 

I accepted no songs (I was hopeful and then pleasantly surprised when they did pay some minor homages through the score to the original’s songs)... but the fun moments were meant to be intentionally undercut by the reality of the war... there’s a reason A Girl Worth Fighting For was cut off so abruptly in the 1998 version... it was the moment where these trainees (all of them young and having never experienced battle or war before) suddenly realised the severity of the situation before them, and it was in that moment they accepted their fate and duty to protect the kingdom...

the 2020 version just kind of had them walk through the carnage without any real build up... the grand battle sequence with the avalanche was pretty well done, the overdramatic “Hua Jun died but Mulan lived” scene notwithstanding.. i didn’t mind that Mulan volunteered to expose herself rather than be forced half-naked into the snow by the Chancellor dude... didn’t like Honghui got the “you listened to Hua Jun, why is Hua Mulan any different?” line... the “I believe in Hua Mulan” was kinda goofy, but I could see what they were going for... it was kinda undermined by the Commander saying “you dishonoured your family and this regiment but hey, you’re brave and loyal kid”...felt very patronising...

I’m not gonna lie, I kinda loved Cricket... he was adorable and I had half a heart attack when I thought he’d died... 

DIDN’T REALISE MING NA WEN MADE A CAMEO UNTIL I CAME ON HERE...so that was nice..

still pissed they didn’t even put the drum beats for “I’ll Make a Man Outta You”...they were using drums during the training sequence too so would’ve been real easy to do so AND THEY DIDN’T...they did it for “Bring Honor to Us All” and “Reflection”...idk why they couldn’t even give us that much of my favourite Disney song...

again, cannot emphasise enough how gorgeous this whole movie looked...and there were so many fun camera work moments... the visuals had me dead on the floor ya’ll...

idk what else i have to say now...

tl;dr I enjoyed the experience of watching it, but hooooo boi the film is flawed as hell...

#mulan #mulan 2020 #long post #spoilers #mulan 2020 spoilers #disney #spoiler post #movie review