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#idk why my brain decided to remember this
klaushardgreeves · 5 months ago
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i learned today how to have access to work's U-drive from home so it's fucking over for me lads
#i felt like fucking wortless piece of shit and guilty af when i got home#and i managed to calm myself down some by working on smth for 45mins :)#i fucking hate trauma i fucking hate it hate it hate it#i can't trust anyone or anything#i had to rush home today because i could feel an anxiety attack pushing on for like three hours straight#and my head just felt like cotton and i couldn't focus on anything#but i had to stop to talk with a superior who. i fucking hate myself for not being strong enough rn#i'll fucking forever remember this as the busiest time of the year that i was absolutely fucking useless and disappointed everyone#idk we talked briefly he asked smth about the one fucking thing im doing at work today and i tried my best to answer#and then he said good night but switched to 'or well good day i suppose' cause he's somehow heard about me not sleeping until afternoon#and that almost made me cry like such a fucking stupid thing but i don't even know why he knows that#and my stupid brain went 'no im heading to sleep rn'#cause im so fucking exhausted! from just depression and self hatred and now guilt and just all things bad!#im wrapped in a cardigan. a soft blanket. under my ''sleeping blanket''#listening to MUNA and trying to fucking breathe#it's 9am and i have to wake up at 5pm cause i decided to go to the barber's tonight#a pathetic attempt of self care and making myself feel a little bit better!#i should call the health care center rn before falling asleep for a doctor's appointment for tomorrow morning if possible#im like. i shouldn't be surprised i collapsed this fast and hard but im Useless suddenly#everything is weird and off at work and im being treated so weird i want to crawl out of myself#na.txt
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antoniosalieri · 7 months ago
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callout post: i had a het dream about florent
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#i am exaggerating but it was traumatic enough#it was so vivid which is never the case of my dreams so it felt like a real memory and i was so confused#cuz obvs it wasnt realistic#anyways lets start from the beginning <3#it was my graduation of idk what and it was very American and im not American everyone was wearing those silly little robes and hats#it was in this open space and there was a stage but i only remember people standing around it.. honestly the vibes were weird#then i either dont remember a chunk of my dream or it just skipped to the nightmare part where florent was suddenly There singing#l'assymphonie and i was hugging his back like a goddamn koala yes writing this makes me wanna rip out my hair but the rest is funny so ill#go on. i vividly remember the beginning of the song like i was singing along but then idk i dont remember the second verse and the rest#i just remember the song being over and i let go and oh my god we were drenched in sweat.......... and then i faINTED KLDAKSJDSL#THIS IS LIKE THE WORST Y/N FANFIC IN THE WORLDDDDDDD INDLAJSDLKASJL Anyways someone caught me but idk who cuz i woke up aLSO#DRENCHED IN SWEAT DLJASLKD THATS WHY I THOUGHT IT WAS A REAL MEMORY GOD#but no i had just forgotten to turn on the fan and i was wrapped around my covers this is so funny oh my god my brain really decided to blur#dream and reality like this... anyways... the worst part is he was wearing the same clothes from that cursed video i posted last night so#had i not watched that before bed maybe i wouldnt have had this nightmare#before this it was fun i was in class annoying diego from TUA but i dont remember much anymore rip#tldr; i am sweating
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modernliterature · 7 months ago
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dropping back here to recount a cr scene from the dream i had last night which was more like, the premise to a fanfiction or something
jester was trying to use create food and water to recreate the black moss cupcakes and kept giving them to essek to taste test. they kept coming out really awful because create food and water can only make food thats “bland but nourishing” but essek didnt know how to say no to jester because no one does so he kept having to accept these horrible cupcakes until caleb took pity on him & intervened. however caleb also doesnt know how to say no to jester, so it then became a quest for the three of them to Properly Understand the makeup of the black moss cupcakes so that they could accurately reproduce them with magic
but instead of, like, learning the ingredients to bake them or something, they just kept dissecting the weird imposter cupcakes that jester was magicking up and then having her do the next one slightly different in X way, as though the whole process was very scientific. quite frankly it was adorable. 
unfortunately i woke up before they cracked the code so we’ll never know if they got it right i guess
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kennys-rats · a day ago
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5/6/21
i was with rachel in my old house and we were sitting at the counter on the stools i guess. i cant remember what we were talking about but i know that my mom like came and was like gonna get us food and she was gonna get us watermelon and she kept asking like “more sweet or less sweet” and i think i was just like girl idk how can you even tell. and then rachel was like i don’t even like watermelon and my mom was like oh ok what should i get instead. i cant remember what happened after that
but then i had like another dream where i woke up and i messaged rachel and told them about how they were in my dream and it felt like pretty real because nothing weird happened it was just me lying in bed messaging rachel my brain even imagined their pfp right.
then i had another dream where i was like at i guess like the river......? or like..? i don’t know i guess it was suppsoed to be the river and i was like walking on a path or something or. i don’t know but then i was looking for berries i think but they were like in the plastic containers like just set up like on tree stumps. and i couldn’t decide if i wanted the big thing of raspberries or a smaller one because i knew i wouldn’t be able to eat the whole big container before they went bad so i think i got a small one. idk what happened next also i feel like i saw kyla spamnotsleep but i’m not sure
and then there was one more dream that was like i feel like there was a play or something or just some performance like outside idk i can’t remember like i was watching some kids perform like dancing i think and i feel like when we were all walking back to our cars someone like dropped something and i gave it back to them i feel like it was a ball or something idk i wish i remembered more from this dream
but then ok i think this might be the last dream but yeah i think i was with lily and she got like a ds game and it was like disney fairies and she was choosing which character to play as and then what the secondary character would be like the love interest maybe but the characters weren’t all disney fairies some were like from other franchises idk. i wish i remembered more about this too
ok now this is the last dream ok i was like at a library and i feel like mlp was involved specifically like twilight and sunset shimmer but i think i saw like a poster with mlp on it but then i think maybe i was twilight or i was sunset or something?? idk i’m confused but the part i remember is that there was some like plastic container/like bowl? i needed and it was all gross and green like covered in algae and sludge on the inside and we found another one but it was equally as gross and i think we couldn’t find another one. but we brought them to like i guess someone who worked there and she tried to clean them off but they were just too gross. then i think maybe we were looking for something to replace it instead or something and i saw like an aquarium tank or like idk but i found a bunch of tiny little colorful sea snails and i was so scared the library would find out and get rid of them or kill them and then i had the absolute genuis idea of putting them in the fish tanks so i started putting them in one by one and also when i picked some of them up their shell like came off but i easily put it back on idk why that happened but like so most of them i just dropped in with like a seashell that they were on or soemthing. i think that’s about everything
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just-a-glittery-fan · a day ago
*insert evil laugh* tv show ask: 6. 8. 9. 15. 16. 20.
And I repeat *chuckles* I'm in danger
Thanks for sending and let's goooo😆
6. Show I don't watch but know the plot through social media: That happens more with shows that my friends watch than with shows I see here... 🤔 It's cause people here don't talk about the plot, they post gif sets of their favorite ship and keysmash on pictures on their fave characters😆. But hm... I guess I know one thing or two about Riverdale? But the thing is I dont really, because I never UNDERSTAND the plot at all. I'll read posts and then immediatly not know what I just read. Idk, some shows also have very easy to guess plots? Like, i know what money heist or sherlock were about but like... the names... just give them away. CAOS I know stuff about but its mostly friend related!
8. Show I wont watch no matter how much I see on social media: hm... that's kinda hard my tastes on tv shows are based on absolutely nothing. I guess one that used to be really over-hyped (I have no idea what state it's in nowadays) but I never liked the premise was stranger things. Idk, i just can't get interested in it. If I didn't want to watch it during seasons 1 and 2 when people wouldn't shut up about it, I guess I'm safe. I also dont feel inclined to watch Sex Education.
I HAD THIS ALL WRITTEN AND ALMOST PRESSED POST BEFORE I REMEMBERED: Remember when everyone was talking about 13 reasons why? Couldn't have paid me money to watch that shit...
9. Show you only keep up with through social media: I stopped watching the Arrowverse stuff a while ago (but I will come back to it! Eventually! I swear!!!) so as of now I more or less keep track of the madness through social media (but like... badly... I'll see two gifsets and be like WHAT is this???)
15. Show I got dragged into by accident? GIRL you think I intended on being like this? With any show? 😭😭 The thing is... I'm usually the one who causes the accident. Like, I knew supernatural was a thing that existed for years, I knew about the brothers who hunted and had an angel tagging along... until at some point during school I decided, out of nowhere, "I should go watch these dudes😃" and then I fell into a pit and my life turned to this. I say spn because it's the most obvious one, but this is me with every tv show ever. Yes, the obsession is an aciddent, but one that I caused knowing the consequences would be devastating.
16. Show I despise but still watch: I should say Supernatural. I really should say supernatural. I write "I hate this show" on the tags daily. But truth is... It's just love/hate you know? Freenemies of sorts? I dont really hate spn, I love it, I just hate the wasted potential (and not just destiel but like... for hundreds of chsrscters and storylines).I dont think I despise anything I watch? Not because I have good taste (as it should be OBVIOUS by now that I dont) but because It's hard for me to admit the things I love are actually terrible😂 I guess the closest we can get is... hm, I stopped Arrow because that season was unsufferable but I still watched like 10 episodes of it before fucking off. But I dont despise that show, I just really despise that season.
ANOTHER EDIT BEFORE I PRESS POST: forget everything I just said. Forget about it. I just remembered I went through a full season of the absolute shitshow that was now apocalypse. It was TERRIBLE. It marked my brain in a permanent way. But I kept going for shots of Avan Jogia's butt. Jacob artist and Tyler Posey were also there, and I was hoping I could get theirs as well. Well... you know that meme "In conclusion, I'm a white man's whore"? That but in this case it's actually only "In conclusion, I'm a whore". Still not sure if the mental scars were worth it<3
20. Show you think should've ended sooner: ....are you trying to get me to talk about spn bestie? 😂 But consider this: if late seasons spn bad then why Jack? I have this ugly disease that I could and I would and I WILL watch my favorite characters do anything. If Sam, Cas and Dean were to be hunting monsters in their nineties, I would have watched them beating vampires with their cans or whatever.
I do admit that I MAY start losing interest in a show if they start getting rid of core chsracters (core characters.... for me.). Like Grey's was a little boring to me during a while in late seasons because of this (put I pushed through it...). It has to end this season with all the comebacks, right?
So... that's it! Huh, It didn't take me too long considering *gestures vaguely at this whole post* Again thank u for sending! 🥰
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waka-chan-out · 2 days ago
hi meg!! ♥︎ i haven't been able to send u asks as much lately bc i made a new tumblr and my tl is going crazy w recommended(s) 😭 pls idk why i decided to make a new acc
i saw your tsukki drabble earlier today and ... PLS IT MADE MY HEART DROP like D: sobbing noises i love him so much 😦🤍
anw!! i hope you're doing amazing ;3; keep safe bestie <3 ngl i hope tumblr gets it together soon so i can see u more on my feed TT
~💟
HELLO BESTIE!! i missed you!
tumblr is so weird n i have no idea how it works but i hope that gets straightened out soon!
i literally did not remember writing that tsukki post so it was jarring to see people liking it this morning 😭 i’m so glad you liked it though i have had the worst tsukishima brain rot lately so i needed to put out something about him.
i haven’t been posting much because 🤙 gotdamn school but today is my last day so regular content will finally be coming back. holy shit i missed writing and i’ve got a lot of fun stuff planned. i hope you’re doing well too babes!! i’m excited to hear from u again <3
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amothwhowrites · 4 days ago
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Monday is Update day! ✨
Hey friends! Here's what I have planned for this week~
First off I want to welcome all my new followers! Welcome to the moth-squad. Idk why, but I got a bit of a boost over the weekend 😳. Thank you guys for supporting me!
I finally have some fics coming out this week. I will be putting out two requested fics this week. I'm thinking they will be out on Tuesday and Thursday 💖
I have seen some comments on my yandere Jotaro fic: What is Owed, saying they can't wait for the "next part". I will admit that I don't have any solid plans to continue the fic, but that doesn't mean I don't have some ideas. If you guys really want a part 4, send me an ask!
The next part of Tripla Minaccia is probably next on my list for long fics to work on, but I don't really know when I will be publishing it. Thanks for being patient while I draft it 💖
I feel bad that I haven't done anything for a 100 follower special yet 😭. So I decided to put out the next part of my Kink Headcanon series (For the Stardust Crusaders) to celebrate! ✨
I had a pretty tough weekend, I'm going through some weird stuff that is making my brain act like soup lol. That being said I am determined to work hard this week! Lets go lets go LETS GO!
Remember to take care of yourselves, and good luck to anyone dealing with final exams this week! YOU GOT THIS! Have a good week moth-squad 🌈🦋
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atomic-taco-muffin · 6 days ago
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The Lost Princess Chapter 27
Warnings: idk. You decide
Rating: SFW
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You and the group entered Halloween Town. Once there, the four of you were clothed in scary-looking outfits, and Goofy noticed the scary scenery in the area. You became scared of how scary everything looked. 
“Gawrsh! Don't like the looks of this place. I bet it's crawlin' with ghosts!” Goofy said. 
“Neither do I. And don’t mention ghosts. They freak me out,” you said.
“Aw, phooey! There's nothin' to worry about. You won't be spooked if you already know what's coming! Not even real ghosts can frighten us anymore. If they take one look at us, THEY'd be the ones to run away!” Donald said. 
“You really think so?” Goofy asked. 
“Trust me!” Donald walked toward the green fountain, and Jack Skellington popped out of it. You screamed and hid behind Sora.
“Welcome to Halloween Town!” Jack said. 
“Waaak!” Donald screamed as he fell on his back. 
“A ghost!” you and Donald said. Sora and Goofy prepared for battle. 
“Wow, those are the best shrieks I've heard in ages! If you two are THAT easy to scare, we're gonna have a great time! Sorry, I haven't even introduced myself. I'm Jack Skellington! And this is Halloween Town. People around here call me the Pumpkin King! So if you're lookin' for a ghoulishly good time, you've come to the right place,” Jack said. 
“Well, we aren't!” Donald said angrily as he jumped up and down.
“Too bad, because at the moment, we've got a bit of a problem in Halloween Town.” 
“What kind of problem?” Sora asked. 
“Well...” Just then, several Shadow Heartless surrounded you all.
“Like this!” Jack said. You and the trio quickly took care of the heartless. 
“What's the big idea! Why'd you go and call the Heartless?” Donald said to Jack.
“I didn't call them. I just knew when they were going to show up. In fact, I'd love to get rid of them. They actually go around attacking people, instead of just scaring them,” Jack said. 
“Why are they here?” you asked as you tried to stood close to Sora. 
“I was just going to go ask Dr. Finkelstein the same question. I'm heading to his laboratory right now. Follow me!” Jack said as he left. 
“Sora, what should we do?” you asked. 
“I guess we'd better go,” Sora said. 
“I don't like this. What if he's leading us right to the Heartless?” Donald said. Jack suddenly reappeared.
“Bingo!” he said. You screamed again and clung to Sora. 
“Waaak!” Donald screamed and fell down again.
“Ha ha ha, I'm just kidding! Now let's get going,” Jack said. Jack started to leave. You, Sora and co. followed him. You, Sora, Donald, Goofy, and Jack entered Dr. Finkelstein's lab. Dr. Finkelstein was in his wheelchair reading a large book.
“Allow me to introduce Dr. Finkelstein! He's a world-famous genius!” Jack said. 
“Yes! Maybe I'm TOO smart. I'm afraid I've created something horrible!” Finkelstein said.
“What's that?” Donald asked. 
“Well... Have you ever stopped to think about the power of ‘true memories’?” Finkelstein said.
“True memories?!” you and Sora asked. 
“You see me children, our hearts are full of memories---but not all of them reflect the truth. The heart isn't a recording device. Even important memories change with time. They warp or fade, leaving us with but a shadow of what we hoped to remember,” Finkelstein said.
“Could that be happening to us?” you asked. 
“It happens to everyone. Some memories grow ugly, and some become more beautiful. If we could recover our true memories, the world would seem completely different. So, I devised a potion from forget-me-nots that brings our true memories back.” 
“Did it work?” Sora asked.
“Well, that's the problem...” 
“As soon as the doctor got a whiff of the potion, Heartless started popping up!” Jack said. 
“Sounds like a failed experiment to me,” Donald said. 
“No! My research is flawless! I just need another look at the potion to find out what went wrong!” Finkelstein said. The doctor moved his wheelchair over to a tube containing green liquid. He opened the top of his head to scratch his brain and you cringed at the sight.
“Unfortunately...it's vanished,” Finkelstein said as he closed his head.
“Maybe someone swiped it?” Sora asked. 
“It must've been Sally! Jack, you've got to find her and get my potion back.” 
“Leave it to me!” Jack said. 
“Can we tag along?” Sora asked. 
“What for?” 
“I want to know more about these ‘true memories’ the doctor keeps talking about.”
“Excellent! Then let's go find Sally!” You all left the laboratory to go find this Sally person. You, Sora, Donald, Goofy, and Jack found Sally in the cemetery.
“There you are, Sally. I thought I'd find you here,” Jack said. 
“Who are your friends?” Sally asked. 
“They're interested in true memories. You have the potion, don't you?” 
“Well...yes.” She took the potion from a pocket in her dress.
“Could you give it back?” Jack said. 
“I guess so, if you insist. But...I'm afraid. All the Doctor did was smell it, and the Heartless appeared. What if someone drinks it?” Sally said. 
“Are you kidding? What could be more exciting?” 
“I'm worried, Jack. Isn't there another option?” 
“Any ideas, Jack?” you asked.
“I can't think of a thing,” Jack said. 
“I can! Give it here!” someone said. Suddenly, Oogie Boogie appeared behind Sally, attacked her, knocking her away, and grabbed the potion.
“Oh no! The potion!” she said. You and Sora's group readied your weapons.
“Oogie! You again!” Jack said. 
“Jack, where are your manners? I'm just helping you put the potion to good use! You should thank me! Well, well. Just one sniff, and the Heartless appeared. What would happen if I chugged the whole thing? THAT would be scary! Poor Jack! You can't hold a candle to Oogie Boogie. Time for Halloween Town to taste pain and despair beyond any nightmare!” Oogie said. 
“Pain and despair? Oogie, you monster!” Oogie ran away with the potion. 
“C'mon, Jack! We've gotta go after him!” you said. The five of you ran after Oogie. you, Sora and co. chased Oogie Boogie into his lair. As you all entered, the gates closed behind you.
“Oogie! Hand over the potion!” Jack said. 
“You fools don't know when to quit! Say...all this running around is making me thirsty!” Oogie said. 
“Oogie! No!” 
“Yes!” Oogie took out the potion, uncorked it with his mouth, and drank the entire thing.
“Oh, no...” you an Sora said.
“Ahh! Lip-smacking good!” Oogie said. All of a sudden, he started shaking. 
“Agh! What's this? What... Something's wrong! Something deep inside me. Something...scary!” he said.
“Oogie! What's going on?” Jack said.
“No! Get back! Stay away from me!” Oogie coward. You and the trio fought and defeated Oogie. Later at Dr. Finkelstein's laboratory, you, Sora, Donald, Goofy, Jack, and Sally met with the Doctor.
“Confound that Oogie Boogie! He drank nearly all of my precious potion! There are only a few drops left!” Finkelstein said. 
“Sora, (Y/N), why don't you ask the doc if you can drink the rest?” Goofy asked. 
“No. We'd better not,” Sora said. 
“I agree,” you said. 
“What, don't you want it? Too bad. It would've been a great experiment,” Finkelstein said. 
“Now, Doctor...” Sally said. 
“Don't you want to find out about your true memories?” Jack asked you and Sora.
“Of course---now more than ever. But there's this guy---Axel. We promised him we'd find the truth on our own,” you said. 
“I just don't understand. When I inhaled the potion, Heartless appeared--- ...and when Oogie drank it, he was overcome with fear. What could it mean?” Finkelstein said. 
“It means the potion was a failure,” Sally said. 
“No! I can't be wrong! Oogie MUST have found his true memories! Hmm... True memories must unbalance the heart--- ...and cause unpredictable changes within!” 
“Then...what about us? What happens when our true memories awaken?” Sora asked. 
“Perhaps something even more terrifying... But this is all just a hypothesis. I can't be sure without further research.” 
“What's wrong, (Y/N)? Does the doctor's theory scare you?” Jack asked. 
“Well, yeah---a little,” you said. 
“Same here,” Sora said. 
“That's good to hear! Fear and doubt are signs of a strong heart. They push your heart, strike out in new directions, take chances! Without them, your zest for life might fade... ...as would your taste for fear. And believe me, that would really ruin my fun.” 
“Thanks, Jack. I'll remember that,” Sora said. 
“Then good luck, everyone! May you always enjoy being frightened!” You and the trio left the lab, and then Halloween Town. You and gang entered the Third Floor Exit Hall.
“Aw... I hope the king is gonna be okay...” Donald said. 
“Why bring that up?” you asked. 
“I had to be sure that I hadn't forgotten him.”
“How'd that go for ya?” Goofy asked. 
“Good! I remembered---we're on a quest to find the king.” 
“I remember that too. The king helped save everything by staying on the other side of the door to darkness. I think...” 
“You got it, Goofy!” 
“And me and (Y/N)--- We’re looking for Riku. He was with the king when the door closed. Hm. I guess there's no way we'll forget the most important memories,” Sora said. 
“That's good. 'Cause I don't want to forget...” Donald said. 
“Neither do I. I may not know who my mother was but I don’t want to forget her. It’s like she’s a part of me,” you said. 
“Well, you do have her powers and her dagger,” Goofy said. 
“That’s true. I hope I find her soon.” You and the trio leave the Exit Hall. Meanwhile, in another room inside the castle, Axel and a woman wearing a similar black coat were standing near a crystal ball.
“You seem pretty intrigued by this Sora and (Y/N) kid,” Larxene said. (QUEEN!)
“Are you telling me you're not, Larxene?” Axel asked. Larxene giggled. 
“Haven't decided yet... I think what intrigues me more is what you see in them,” she said. 
“There was a time he became a Heartless. And if one becomes a Heartless---” Axel said. 
“They lose their minds and their feelings... They're consumed by the darkness.” 
“Right. But not Sora. He held on to his feelings, even as a Heartless. And there's only one other man who's been able to do just that.” 
“It's the strength of his heart... That's what interests you. Why the Keyblade chose Sora's heart. But that doesn’t explain that spirit.”
“To unlock the mysteries of the heart. Isn't that the Organization's mission?” Larxene snickered. You, Sora, Donald, and Goofy entered the Fourth Floor.
“Hey, I wonder if there's anything we've forgotten...” Donald said. 
“Hmm... If we did, what would it have been?” Goofy asked. The two fo them thought for a moment. 
“I can't think of anything, so maybe that means that I really am losing my memories,” Goofy said. Donald looked sad.
“But whatever they were, they couldn't have been very important memories, right?” Goofy asked. 
“Right, or else I don't think you would have forgotten it,” you said. You and Sora took out the seashell charms that Kairi gave to you.
“Look,” Sora said. 
“What is it?” Donald asked. 
“A good luck charm Kairi gave us. It's special to her, so we promised that we would return it. I'll never forget making that promise. It's why we could never forget Kairi,” you said. 
“I’ll never forget it too,” Sora said. Donald and Goofy nodded.
“Are we right, Kairi?” Sora asked. You and Sora saw an image of Kairi in your heads. The three of you smiles at each other. Then a girl wearing a white dress appeared behind you two.
“Huh?!” you and Sora asked. You and Sora looked back but the girl disappeared.
“Oh... Do we know...that girl?” Sora asked. 
“I...have no idea,” you said.
“Hey, Sora, (Y/N). Where did you two go?”
“Sorry. Never mind,” Sora said. 
“We better keep goin'” Goofy said. You and Sora held up the next card at the Fourth Floor world entrance, and entered to the next world.
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Hi
Hi Abby, if you see this sorry I haven’t been online in ages but I was also overthinking messaging you because I just assumed we weren’t really friends anymore since we weren’t really talking and what not and I didn’t want to be annoying and I just assumed I got boring to talk to after a while y’know lol
Anyways also hi to who ever sees this, since I’m back here’s an update on life. 
It’s already May 1st 2021 idk how but it is and this year is quite literally speeding by, not to mention the first two months we were stuck in lockdown again wow. I returned to school somewhere in March and our final hall exams start in about a week - which is ironic considering they literally told us these were completely cancelled - way to go Ofqual and whatever the education guy’s name is (idk I don’t have the brain capacity to remember his dumb name)! 
Now I can be certain my cause of death will be stress love you lots!
Just gotta accept it cause we’re literally never given a say in anything that involves us as students cause our opinions mean absolutely nothing woohoo.
Also idk what’s wrong with me but my brain won’t sober up and I’ve been exhausted since like December which isn’t great, not sure why but it really isn’t helpful considering I feel like I’ve completely messed up the last four assessments we had and it’s not like they were hard I just kept spacing out wtf am I doing, gotta get that sorted, not sure how but I literally need to do something by the end of this week - idk get more sleep? I doubt it’s just sleep tho but you know gotta try something
Last thing to whomever is reading this lol uhm so we’re going to have Prom in June and Idk if I want to go - like I would like to go but I don’t even have a nice dress I’d wear and Idk if I should go ahead and get one because what if they decide to cancel it last minute cause of the virus?
 Also, this is probably an irrational fear but I’m scared I’m going to just be super awkward hanging around at prom since I’m not great at socialising but it’s again I know it’s an irrational fear since some of my friends or at least idk I think we’re friends I really can’t tell but we hang out together and I enjoy their company so maybe we are or maybe it’s just one sided idk, but they’re going so it’s not like I’d be alone I’ll just have to ask them to meet somewhere but what if that’s annoying? 
Well Idk I’ve still got a month so I should probably breathe, there’s time to figure it out. 
Oh yes, sorry last thing, I’m also not sure if I should go to prom with them or go to prom but then  hang out with my crush - she’s not sure if she’s going either and she’s asked me a few times if I plan on going but I’m not sure if I want to go and idk if it would be weird to say to her I’d go if she goes because that seems pretty weird surely it’d be weird but I genuinely would prefer going if she goes but she’s so indecisive as well and I’m never direct with anything so idk what’s going to happen. 
Jesus, the most logical thing would be to just like blatantly ask but that’s definitely the most difficult thing. 
I really hate that I still really like her but it’s also hard to explain because I'm so weirdly attached to her like I can’t explain it but before I realized I liked her I would just really enjoy it when we’d somehow end up having a conversation - the first time I met her I used to think she was kind of scary but her speaking to me that first time made such a difference and I realized she was exactly like me in so many ways and I think that’s what made caused me to start liking her and it’s hard to get over since I’ve never met someone who could match my energy and literal thoughts so much in so many ways and it’s just so complicated. 
It also feels like she might like me too but seems like neither of us plan on saying anything - I literally won’t be able to - idk so I’ve just been kind of neutral and ignoring it but the weird thing is we’ve started frequently hanging out with each other since we all returned to school and now idk if we’re just friends and I’d rather not say anything else.
Also, I feel like I kind of like this though - like I really like her and it seems like she feels the same but I’m scared if we were to actually actually get into a relationship I’d ruin it so yeah maybe us just spamming each other with kitten and puppy videos is where the relationship is going to stay idk.
Sorry for the rant
Anyways, always remember You’re a Piece of Sheet, Life Sucks and We’re All Gonna Die.
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proxymorons · 12 days ago
Have you ever drawn Frankie? From the comic that Will/Wilson is from?
I haven't. I forget that mother fucker exist so often. I don't remember much about him. I remember he's like dead and like...An assassin or some shit? I don't remember much and idk if I wanna. I'll be honestly im kinda skeptical of looking into any new characters when it comes to Creepypasta cause like. There's so many creators that have turned out to be straight up shit people in the WORST kinds of ways.
Like okay okay. I'm bout to go off for a second about my dumbass brain and the thing it does that I fucking hate. It's a real blessin' an a curse type thing. So I'm on mobile so idk how to put all that under a cut so I guess just keep reading if anyone wants to read it I guess.
--------------------------------
So like Y'all don't see Sally anymore for a reason. And tbh I've always felt kinda like "???" About the fact I don't do shit with Sally and actually Sun made a character to replace Sally in the comic after I brought up the shit with her. We both were INCREDIBLY disgusted by the shit her creator was doing and HIGHLY uncomfortable. (Tbh kinda an understatement) and YET I still include characters like Jack and Will. I think its because there's a huge disconnect for me between their creator vs Sally's. Suns said theyre so diffrent from cannon they sometimes forget they aren't just my ocs and tbh sometimes I MYSELF forget that Wilson and Isaac are not my fuckin characters. Had I changed Jacks Design like I did for them I'd probably forget he's not mine too! Which considering I found out about Jack through FANART and never cared for anything the dude who made him made that PROBABLY MADE IT PRETTY EASY for my brain to disassociate the two :/.
But yeah My dumbass Fixated on creepypasta and theses characters when I found them at like 14. I was hella fixated for a few years then it kinda got replaced by something else then 2018 rolled around and it just Came back suddenly 10 fold and being older and shit i reread the shit and actually saw the shit thats wrong with it? Like plot holes. And idk what's with my brain but I tend to do this thing where I see a character who's on some bullshit. My brain gotta be like "But WHY???? What REASON? What's their MOTIVATION" And the more stupid or nonexistent a characters reasons are for whatever bullshit their doing is. The more my brain is like "Lets do a full on analysis on the psychology of this character that has little cannon info. Let's do a shit tons of research about how certain things effect a person's psyche and mentalstatewhile also using our own logical reasoning to think of what could cause a person to behave this way then find a way to accurately portray the effects of said trauma. Let's go ALL OUT and add debth to this character that I DONT EVEN REALLY LIKE THAT MUCH just BECAUSE. Just because my brain decided "Hey hey. You know that character that you don't care about. The one you litterally only liked because you saw cool fanart and were like oooo what's his story then were disappointed by the actual source material. That one that you litterally only liked for the Design which you are gonna end up changing anyway because eh. Yeah that one. Let's NOT stop thinking about that fucker. What's that? You have other things to do? No. No THIS is more important. Homework? Yeah thats important i guess bur hear me out you know what's MORE important? Figuring out what this CLOWNS deal is."
This point it'd probably more obvious to some that YES I'm talking about LJ specifically. And highkey hate it. Very highkey hate it.
-Bozo
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charmspoint · 15 days ago
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Vampires and mental maturity
So when it comes to vampires I always end up wondering about mental and physical aging since a lot of vampire media can have a wonky relation with these. Mars Red got my attention with this line from Takeuchi
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Here Takeuchi is talking about how happy he is to be a vampire because he will be able pursue scientific discovery eternally. But the phrasing got me wondering. Does he by 'never age' mean simply that his brain doesn't deteriorate or does he mean that the brains of vampires actually literally stop aging once they are turned as in do they stop mentally maturing. I'm mostly interested in this cuz uhhhh
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Suwa is apparently eternally stuck at around 14-16 yrs old which is like, if you aren't mentally aging the absolute worst age you could be stuck on. Which is why I was wondering, is Suwa just physically a teenager or is he mentally a teenager too. Did his mental maturing stop at age 15ish or did his brain continue developing even when his body failed too. I was kinda resigned to this being headcanon ground but then I read the manga and while it doesn't offer a direct answer it does offer a good hint in my opinion.
And by that I'm of course referring to his conversation with Akesato which is like one of the only two deep Suwa reflections we got so far.
When asked about his age Suwa doesn't go the 'I'm 17, how long have you been 17' route, he actually sticks to his real age not once but twice.
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He's being a big ass dumbass by going around telling ppl he's 300 but to be fair to him he's probs out of it a lil cuz Akesato reminds him of his little sister who is like one of the rare parts of his human life he at least somewhat remembers. Fortunately Akesato doesn't take him seriously because why the fuck would she.
To get back on topic the way he refers to Akesato is also interesting.
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Like a grandpa He refers to her as a child, as younger then him. When referring to his past he says 'when I was your age' even though that was when he would have stopped aging. There's no real reason for him to do this. He doesn't know Akesato, she just happened to be there when he needed to scout out the situation and reminded him of his sister. He doesn't plan to ever see her again and she doesn't know anything about him, including the fact that he is a vampire. There is absolutely 0 reason for him not to refer to himself as a teenager, as her age, if that's how he sees himself. Maybe he would have felt the need to up his age a tiny bit to explain wtf is he doing in a red light district but that's obvs not what's going on here. This leads me to believe that Suwa feels and sees himself as 300 years old and not as the age he was when he was turned. He has continued mentally maturing even when his body didn't.
That being said the 'I have a brain that will never age' is an anime only line but the Akesato conversation happens next ep so we'll see then did they decide to change anything about that, tho I doubt they'll will cuz idk what the point of that would be.
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subskz · 16 days ago
OF COURSE I'M HERE ALFNRLBQÖA I WAS KINDA WORRIED NGL NOT TO SOUND LIKE A WEAK ASS MF BUT I MISSED U SO MUCH U FILL MY LIFE W LIGHT AND LOVE LOLOL AND YESSS I SENT SO MANY ASKS JUST "HEY IDK WHEN U'LL BE BACK BUT HERE ARE MY THOUGHTS" SKFNELGNQÖF I HOPE U RECEIVED THEM LFNOEMGDP BC I CAN'T REMEMBER FOR TJE LIFE OF ME WHAT I ASKED LFGOEF BUT I'M SO GLAD UR BACK MISS GWORLE MY BELOVED <3333333333
-UR BELOVED CATBOY ANON <33333
NOOO PLEASE I LOVE U SO MUCH 😭💔 im really sorry for leaving u hanging like that thank you for waiting up babe </3 and YES i did!! glad to see that ur big brain has been at work in my absence hehe i cant wait to get to them all 😼
also!! as an apology i figured i should post what i was able to write of your request before i disappeared ^^; i combined it with another req for binnie in lingerie! it’s not much so far but here u go hehe
You had to push back the grin that was threatening to make its way onto your face as Changbin hesitantly took the garments from your hands. His eyes locked on them in poorly masked curiosity, practically burning holes into the black, lacy material.
“For me?” He repeated the question. His voice was still full of disbelief, as if you’d just been messing with him the first several times you’d clarified—which, to be fair, was a reasonable suspicion to have.
You nodded. “For you.”
The message seemed to get through to him at last, if the way his face reddened was any indication. You waited patiently for him to say something, watching in amusement as he brushed his thumbs over the bra with a careful fascination. “Wh-why?” He sputtered.
“Why?” You tilted your head. “It was your idea, wasn’t it?”
Changbin’s gaze snapped up to meet yours at that, pupils blown wide in defense. “It wasn’t!” 
His panicked reaction finally drew out the smile that you’d been suppressing. “Mm...I guess you’re right,” You agreed. “I did suggest it.”
A look of relief crossed his face, only for it to morph right back into alarm as you continued speaking. “But then...you brought it up again,”
He opened his mouth to object. “That’s—”
“And again...” You gleefully cut him off. “And again.”
Changbin could only huff as you drove in your point. He ducked his head, letting his bangs fall into his eyes to avoid your pleased expression. “I was just joking,” He mumbled.
“Joking?” You echoed. “Jokes get boring when you keep repeating them, Binnie.”
The boy said nothing, sucking his lower lip into his mouth in a nervous habit. Despite how interested you knew he was in the set you’d bought him, you also knew that he may actually die of embarrassment if he admitted that to you. He stayed quiet as he shifted his weight from side to side, inwardly praying that you wouldn’t give up on the idea so easily. 
Fortunately for Changbin, you knew him all too well. You hadn’t missed the hopeful gleam in his eyes as they darted between you and the lingerie, urging for you to convince him as if he wasn’t already itching to try them on. 
Deciding on a new approach, you let out a wistful sigh. “Hm...that’s too bad.” You pouted. “I was really looking forward to seeing you in these.”
You rested two fingers at the base of his neck, gliding them ever so slowly along his skin and past his collarbones. The feeling alone made Changbin’s heartbeat pick up, and his breath caught in his throat when you traced mischievously over the curve of his chest. “Especially here,” You murmured. “I bet you would’ve looked so pretty.”
Feigning disappointment, you made a show of reaching out for the bra and underwear. You placed your hands over his, pausing for a moment to try and catch his expression before taking them into your grasp. 
Just as you did, you were met with a sudden resistance. Changbin tightened his hold on the material, tugging at it lightly and letting out the tiniest noise of protest. You raised an eyebrow at him, but he kept his gaze stubbornly averted, lowering his head even further in an attempt to hide his burning cheeks.  
“If…” He began, swallowing hard. “If you really want…” 
He trailed off sheepishly, causing the smirk to return to your face. “What do you want, Binnie?.” You hummed, lifting a hand to take his chin between your thumb and index finger. He tensed as you tilted it up to bring his face back into view, and the way his skin flushed impossibly redder told you all that you needed to know.
Changbin batted at your shoulder with a low whine, wriggling his face out of your grasp to turn away again. You simply giggled in response, delighted with how easy he was to fluster. He relaxed a bit as you gave his cheek an apologetic pinch, and he raised the garments to get a better look at them. 
“You’ll look great,” You encouraged, voice softening. 
Changbin gave a small nod, and he scooted back a bit, giving himself some space to change. His hands slipped under the hem of his shirt before he paused suddenly, giving you a pointed look. “You’re staring” He complained. “Turn around.”
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neon-pinkangel · 19 days ago
Text
I had a weird set of dreams
First I dreamt that me and a friend were in a group living in the jungle, we were okay but then a group of people caught us and put us in cages. For some reason the only way to be free was to find the... stone? I don't remember, but something from the mountains. In the night we try to scape we think we got out into the jungle cause the trees and plants are there, but when we realize in was just another cage. We try to find an exit but in trying we find a huge creature that started chasing us. I don't remember really well what happened later, I think someone died? Maybe it was more than just me and a friend?? Anyways, we manage to scape and we start going to the mountains. In the mountains there is my sister (????), she helps us find the thing and explains that the creature (I think it was again a huge dog) is forced to get us. We understand, did a ritual, and got the thing. When we try to go back it was morning and we enter the creatures cage and it starts chasing us again. In a moment, since now there is light, people that caught us start to get around seeing what we do, and the light shined in the thing and the creathre stopped chasing us.
Then, and I hate my dreams for being Like That, the creature breaks out the cage and starts chasing the other people. Someone died, that I remember, jesus-. We get to the place were the rest were caged. Then I "woke up"
I thought it was my room but then I realized, I didn't have any of the furniture I have now and for some reason the first thought I had was "Oh this is my old room" and kept sleeping lmao. It wasn't my old room but my brain kept thinking that, then I tried open my eyes again and saw exactly the decoration I have now and thought "no, I don't want to be in the present" (same, brain) and tried to like close my eyes and mentally change it.
It worked? Cause I opened my eyes again and saw the first room. None of the furniture I have now and the lights in the walls were also wrong. I decide to wake up and explore the past- may I just clarify non of the things that happened in the dream ever happened irl BUT I think, excavating a little bit on my brain, that this IS a dream I had before. I genuinely remember having dreamt something like this.
I get out of my room and go outside, the rest of my house looks exactly the same. I go to the kitchen and there is my mom, cooking (accurate-) so I say hi, and she just says a very dry hi. I get worried and thought maybe I appeared in a bad time since I used to fight with my mom a lot. I asked her "what's wrong" and she just says "Oh nothing!"with the usual tone so now I'm calm. We keep talking, I asked why does she prepare meat that way and she told me it's to "avoid what happened to you and your sister". Apparently me and my sister had too much spice and too much milk one day and it did make us feel bad for like a week (in the dream). And then she reminds me we were going to another place to have dinner. She put the whatever meat she was seasoning in the oven and tells me laughing that dad didn't want me to ask for the same dish I did last time we went there. I, since supposedly it's the past, did not remember what dish I asked, so I just threw a vague "Oh haha but it was good, wasn't it?" And she's like yes yes but it was kind of pink in the middle (in my country we eat everything well done so it made sense to me) so a picutre appeared in my head of a piece of meat with mashed potatoes (yummy) so I tell her "Oh but it was fine, it was literally just the center center". She agrees and laughs at my dad for a bit, and I go back to my room. There I try using my phone, take it out and open tumblr (accurate) but when I went to see the trending page, the tags didn't work. All images said "sorry, unable to reach _____(something idk id remember)" or "This picture doesn't exist in _____" so- yeah, there is that. I thought it was because I got to the past and my phone maybe it's still in the present. I was going to check the date but couldn't, I only remember seeing a little bit of the date in the kitchen and it was april. Then we're called to eat, it was milanesas I think. In the afternoon I went to take a nap and when I woke up I went to see my sister. For some reason she didn't want to talk to me lmao. I ignore her and it's about time to go to the restaurant.
The restaurant is a boat- I ask for the dish I said I would and it was good actually. We get back home, and I told to my sister "Ah, I forgot to organize my room today" and she just said "yeah, but at least you organized the other part". In my dream I was so confused cause when?? In the past?? Did I have another "part" of the room? Then I go to my room, and in the back of it now there is a window. I look through the window and thought it was really cool that there was another part of the house with a back door. I had my computer there, in a table in the middle with one of the libraries I have mow in my room. Then I went fully to sleep.
And then I finally woke up and realized I didn't go to the past but were tf did I go-
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loki-the-trikster-god · 21 days ago
tis clyde! *dramatic stage pose*
idk tbh i’m like so cold right now i just went out for a walk (not willingly) now i’m typing really slow as i’m regaining feeling in my fingers.
right! i remember caliban nowwwwww. oof ur beef with prospero. i guess that actor is rather similar to their character (unlike u... i’m pretty sure ur not a monster ;)
gAsP yay that would be so exciting. tbh it would have come in handy last year when we were reading the book bc shakespeare is so confusing my gosh. idk maybe it’s not for me, u seem to like it tho :)
haha well that seems like why u stick around to listen to me ramble every five seconds. maybe! you guys would probably get along as she is like pretty much exactly me, but more dramatic and (a lot) more confidence.
asdf ikr those movies are awesome!! i want to adopt a niffler, in fact i was hyperfixtated on nifflers a year ago, and still want a niffler stuffy. and i love queenie with all my heart.
they really are tbh. me and my friends don’t talk about that much ✨feelings✨ stuff, we don’t really have nicknames so it’s a new experience for me tbh
oh wow really? oof that’s unfortunate. i like swimming but i hate anything endurance (including track, my worst enemy *shudders* <- from fear or from cold i don’t know) it will literally make
me want to die so yeah hehe.
asdf my dad makes fun of me bc i can never finish anything it’s unfortunate really maybe someday i will acquire motivation but who knows really
asdf u used he/him pronouns :)))))) that makes me happy tbh
yeah it’s really funny. have you read the books? it’s so much more book accurate than the movies were. the movies were the freaking worst. so... inaccurate... it’s terrible.
asdf ikr sherlock is truly a work of art and the aCtInG omg it’s excellent truly.
ohhhhh you are one of those people that like dialogue in movies. i guess i do sometimes? but action i just find more interesting? then again i spend most of my life tuning out peoples voices *coughchoughschool* so action is easier for me to focus on.
hehe it’s interesting bc u have such different opinions than i do, but it’s interesting to hear about nevertheless
ah oki i’ll keep that in mind. my brain is like a storage space for useless information. i cant remember when world war one or two was but i can identify your apple phone just by seeing the back of it. sigh.
gAsP you don’t know the grishaverse... it’s the shadow and bone series, six of crows, idk if this is ringing any bells but i would dEfInItElY recommend them they are so good. shadow and bone is coming out as a netflix show on the 23rd and i’m so excited! the casting is like 👌 and everyone is soooooo amazing asdf i really like it if u can’t tell.
idk about neighbour maybe it’s one of those canadian american spellings where american takes out the u in the word like colour and color idk.
ahahah yeah i can recite the whole of hamilton from memory and i love dear evan hansen even tho most people don’t (the book makes me sad)
ahahaha yay glad u appreciate my bad puns
question for u? do u want me to continue doing this on anon or do u care if i go off anon? idk why it doesn’t make a difference to me either way unless u decide my blog is extremely cringy and don’t want to be my friend anymore (which would be understandable). just asking.
now for the question even though this is once again incredibly long and i don’t know why i keep commenting on the length but it’s fine: do you have e l fudges in the states? like sophie’s favourite cookies? have you tried them? are they good? i need this stupid pandemic to be over so i can eat the cookies.
🍪🍪🍪
*cookie monster voice* c is for cookie, that’s good enough for me ;)
i’m glad i make you laugh amigo :)
until next time ;)
Clyde!! ✨✨✨
Oof I’m sorry ur cold it’s not freezing here but I was just outside for chem tutoring for a while and oof.
There’s a really good song from the frozen musical called monster you should listen to it. I certainly try not to be a monster although I’ve done my shit like everyone else I suppose.
Shakespeare is definitely one of those things where you’re either obsessed to the point of insanity or you’re losing your marbles lol. I will say, it’s dumb to make students read the plays because if you don’t already like Shakespeare, you’ll be losing it. They should teach it through analyzing a play adaptation, so that people who don’t get it can at least see it in its finished form.
I love dramatic people as much as I love nerds so I think she sounds very cool!
Nifflers are ADORABLE!!! I think my favoritest Harry Potter creature is the serpent thing with wings (I’ve forgotten what it’s called) but it’s just so beautiful!! Queenie is indeed iconic.
Oh bro I like. Cannot stop talking about my feelings. I’m the epitome of that meme it goes like:
My bff: wanna talk about ur feelings (other bff)?
Other bff: no
Me: I do
Bff: we know cecil
Me: I’m sad
Bff we know cecil
Yeah that’s me
God I hated track when i did it. I was ok at it for a while, I could run a 6:49 mile, but it gave me like. Horrible nervous breakdowns. I was like a thoroughbred horse and I needed a comfort goat. Also just the physical sensations were ACK.
Depression mood but pls don’t die friend.
Yes!! I’m glad u liked the pronouns I will continue to use (along with others if you’d like.)
I’ve definitely read basically all the Percy Jackson books. I read that series and Heroes of Olympus and then the first couple magnus chase and the Egypt ones... I don’t remember them super well but they were really fun.
I do like dialogue in movies I’m a romcom guy lmao. It just comes down to taste and I adore movies that are mostly action too, I’ve just gotta be in the right brain space. Movies with both? Flawless.
It is always interesting to talk to someone who likes different things, and also to have someone not immediately call me a pretentious asshole tbh. Like I really don’t try to be stuck up or anything, I’m not hating, I just like different stuff.
That’s so relatable I remember the dialogue to entire hour long episodes of a tv show but I can’t remember what day my fathers birthday is. It’s annoying.
Oh that’s shadow and bone!! Ok, I know them, yeah everyone’s told me to read them they’re on my tbr for sure I just never have time to read lmao but yeah and also the Netflix show looks So Cool.
I think neighbour is one of those words, yeah. I always spell things the non-American way, but I couldn’t tell you why. Maybe it’s cause I hate America so much.
Dear Evan Hansen gives me chills and most people are losers. Musicals are just fun, man. My favorite musical ever is called The Band’s Visit, and my second favorite musical is Hadestown.
You can be on anon or off anon, I promise I won’t want to stop talking to you lol unless I see like. This person is a nazi which I know you aren’t because why tf would you talk to my radical ass but hey. Also don’t worry about my aggressive politics I don’t bring them up much and we can still be friends even if we don’t agree on everything and I really like talking to you so anyways that’s a long way of saying you do whichever you’re more comfy with, friend :)
We do in fact have E L Fudges but I have. Never eaten one. I have also never eaten anything from a McDonald’s, a chick fil a, or a Taco Bell, and I have only had Oreos once. People always go crazy over that information lmao. I would love to try some. Maybe we can buy them together some time (like on the same day or smthn) and I’ll tell u what I think
Cookies!!! The Cookie Monster quote sent me straight to happy child place lolllll.
Also I have a question for you! What time zone do you live in? Only if ur comfy ofc.
Until next time :)))))))
P.S. @ everyone who has to scroll through these sorry but I’m living rn so like. 😘
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slytherclawshifter · 22 days ago
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I HAD A DREAM THAT I SHIFTED AND IM LOOSING MY MIND
ok so it all happened when i woke up at 5AM (why? idk) and then i decided to listen to some subliminals and try to shift. But i started to get bored of affirmations and i was like "fuck it idc anymore" and i started imagining myself with my comfort character because thats what i do before i sleep. cue wiggly dream transition
i just remember waking up in my room but it didnt feel like my room? and then my brain was like "oh im pretty sure i shifted" BUT the problem was i didnt know where i was. so i tried teleporting (a power that i have in my mcu reality) AND I DID!!! i was also floating for some reason which is probably just a dream thing
i feel super motivated holy crap. one of the main things i remember is the feeling of joy i had when i thought i shifted in my dream. ill probably try again soon ok bye
1111 2222 3333 4444
you will shift!
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frogtanii · 24 days ago
i think tumblr ate the ask i sent yesterday ➖👄➖ is this what pain feels like? (its 🔮 btw HAHAHAHA)
first of all, listen bestie, i know i tell you to get enough sleep, 8 hours and all that, AND I WAS GONNA GO TO BED I SWEAR but then i was brainstorming ideas and shi, and it was 2am where im at before i realized it, and i cackled evily when i saw that you posted the new pf chapter.
i n h a l e s
this is gonna be all over the place, this is your fair warning HAHAHAHAHA.
(#savethecamels2021😔👊)
osamu, that isnt a happy, committed relationship hun- YEAH SO WHAT IF Y/N HAS A HAREM, AT LEAST THEYRE HAPPY AND COMMITTED!
i was really feeling the chapter but then i started giggling at the 'meiko rubbing off her makeup on osamu's black shirt in an attempt to comfort him' lanzjsnsj HAHAHAHAHA.
but do i feel bad for him? yes, i do, but did he deserve that one? yes he did.
im not exactly sure why he'd blame y/n for the breach in his and atsumu's relationship? i mean, osamu is pretty nasty to y/n in front of the other members, and atsumu is a witness to how much of an asshole his brother can be towards her, so maybe his shitty attitude is the reason his brother doesnt like him?? didnt he ever consider that?? i dont recall y/n ever talking shit about the other members (except meiko, she deserves it) behind their back-
next point, FROGGY PUT SUNA AWAY IM NOT READY TO START DISLIKING HIM FOR THE MERE FACT THAT HE ASSOCIATES HIMSELF WITH MEIKO.
(i went, "oh, there's daichi" while reading aknxjsn)
also, i get that osamu got mad, but thats not really a reason to corner someone like that. i suppose, yes he regrets it, but that doesnt change the fact that y/n was actually, genuinely scared of him and what he could have done to hurt her in a place she could have, and should have considered a home. same goes for what the other guys did, and theyre making up for it.
"....i don’t know what’s happening and i don’t know what to tell you to make you leave me alone,” made me tear up a little, the girl seemed really scared. it sucks to think that people actually go through that in real life.
(its hella shitty to feel scared in a place youre supposed to feel safe in 🥺)
i love the character and the way you wrote and portrayed him, but good riddance, he should be ashamed. he didnt have a justifiable reason to do that to y/n.
also i want atsumu hugs 🥺 like the touch starved lunatic
NEXT POINT, that one anon is right though, and idk if i should be thanking your other anons or what, because they make me question everthing i know in pf- but WHAT IF SOMEONE HAD AN STD AND SHE ACTED AS A CARRIER AND PASSED IT ON TO EVERYONE?
#saveyachi2021, it hasnt been a full week yet has it? HAHAHAHAHAH
im gonna stop here and actually go to bed, and i dont have any headcanons at the moment, but i do have gossip about myself, lowkey a cry for help 😙✌️
i recently tried reaching out to this guy i had a crush on 2 years ago, and im classmates with him now. i have 2 friends who are friends with him and they were the ones who convinced me to chat him. obvi, its not a consistent chatting thing, its been about 2 days. BUT MY FRIENDS HAVE CONVINCED ME THAT HES LOWKEY HUSBAND MATERIAL OKAY?? I COULDNT RESIST, LIKE HE WANTS A ONE AND DONE RELATIONSHIP LASTING ALL THE WAY TO MARRIAGE OR WHATEVER attachment/commitment/abandonment issues are very confused, BUT THATS NOT THE POINT. do i want something to happen? yes, but im scared of my feelings 🤡
and they say hes nice, and hardworking, and that he and i would be a good couple but idk skndjsndjj 😭
AND BACK TO YOU
i hope you had enough sleep! 🤨📷
and a filling meal! its good for your body 🤨📷
and some water! stay hydrated! 🤨📷 HEALTH SHOULD ALSO BE YOUR PASSION!
remember that we love yoy froggy! and im glad you decided to take weekend breaks! rest is good for the soul, mind and body 😌
much baddie energy and good vibes! 💘
HEY BADDIE KEJEK because my brain is Not Working, i can barely respond to like 90% of what u sent but!!! i read it all n i LOVE U <3333 also ooo a mans :000 i hope that goes well for u!!!! n if it doesn’t i’ll beat him up for not taking u as a catch wink wonk ;))) sending the baddie vibes right back at u <333
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got tagged by one of my fave mutuals @ringdonuts and decided i needed a distraction lmao
Rules: Answer 30 questions about yourself and tag 20 others you wanna know more about 😊
1. Name/Nickname: Greer is both my name and nickname. you figure it out
2. Gender: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha i use she/they pronouns? we'll get back to that discussion later
3. Star Sign: virgo sun, taurus moon, cancer rising (i.e. I'm a mess)
4. Height: 5'6"? maybe? haven't checked in a while
5. Time: 6:23 pm
6. Birthday: 9/11 baybee
7. Favorite bands/groups: uh. truly couldn't tell ya. if im feeling nostalgic, fall out boy ig? im gonna co opt this question and say my fave podcasts are wine & crime, beach too sandy water too wet, and that's why we drink, and sounds fake but okay
8. Favorite solo artist: joseph dubay, scotty sire, and watsky come to mind
9. Song stuck in my head: Saint Bernard by Lincoln bc I was thinking of my mental illness playlist
10. Last Movie: Barb and Star go to Vista Del Mar (it was... a trip)
11. Last Show: Psych probably
12. When did I create this blog: jesus, it had to be at least 8 years ago bc my first post was about my 9th grade musical, i remember that much. update: I searched my email and i started my blog in november of 2012. so, there ya go
13. What do I post: anything that induces psychic damage to my followers. its just a hodge podge of things i enjoy tbh
14. Last thing I Googled: smth about resumes
15. Other blogs: i have a side blog (mostly aesthetic) @my-favorite-memory-with where i post all my favorite memories with different people (submissions are always welcome but rarely received)
16. Do I get asks: lmao not often no, usually they come from my friends
17. Why I chose my URL: firefly was a short-lived j*ss wh*don show that my mom and i really enjoyed, and i consider myself akin to a cinnamon jolly rancher in that i probably shouldn't exist but while I'm here I'm gonna make it everyone else's problem
18. Following: 1,338 idk man
19. Followers: 632???? idk why
20. Average hours of sleep: 6 usually does it
21. Lucky number: 7 13 and 21. idk why
22. Instruments: i can play the clarinet and that's about it
23. What am I wearing: blue slacks, a white tank and a gray cardigan. I'm out of clothes
24. Dream job: a stage manager, specifically for k*lli's show.
25. Dream trip: UGH a road trip with the banjo shrimps to a bunch of small towns across the us !!! staying in shitty motels and going to small museums and making food and just doing dumb dumb shit. that's the goal i just wanna tour
26. Favorite food: paastaaaa!!! and bread made with (really, by) celeste.
27. Nationality: American (listen i know)
28. Favorite song: Currently Least Favorite Only Child by Leanna Firestone but of all time probably the theme to M*A*S*H just bc nothing ever gets me as hyped
29. Last book I read: All of the Chronicles of Ancient Darkness by Michelle Paver. Got through that shit with frightening speed. unless you consider k*lli's fic (read here) a book
30. Top three fictional universes I’d like to live in: I love the idea of the CoAD universe, but I would have to be born into it to survive. Obviously, as a gay, I'm a slut for the Percy Jackson universe. And finally the universe of the librarians, if only so magic could be real in small doses
cool that was a fun lil brain exercise. uh if you got this far guess what. you gotta do the thing. also if you're mentioned at all you gotta do the thing. and if you related to ANY of my answers you gotta do the thing. hows that sound for a tag?
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folkloeren · 28 days ago
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𝐕𝐈𝐈𝐈. Broken glass, no reflection
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Synopsis: (Inarizaki!Kuroo x Reader x Suna) Your life followed a steady, boring path, with uninteresting perspectives and ambitions, but to unravel Suna Rintaro was just the thrill you were needing.
Or:
When you joined the Inarizaki Volleyball Club as a manager for the nationals, Kuroo found out that he hated not being in the spotlight of your life.
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rated: SFW.
a/n: idk what to say but hey, we have suna!
warnings: cursing.
MASTERLIST, PREVIOUS, NEXT, PLAYLIST.
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The training became more intense with each passing hour, and near the end, the team was already dripping with sweat. Eventually, even Kuroo himself joined; Kita’s words to calm him down showed to be effective, whichever they were. Even so, you felt the coach’s burning glare whenever he called for a 5-minute-break; the eldest seemed to hope for you to step in and put some sense inside your best friend’s brain. Unfortunately, you felt as if your previous argument was one of the reasons behind his behavior, and any eagerness you had to comfort him vanished with a wild breeze.
You weren’t used to turning your back on him, however, this time Kuroo deserved it. So, as you left the girls’ locker room, you decided to place your mind somewhere else, Atsumu’s loud whines being the first thing you heard. The blonde was screaming at his brother, something among the lines: “Why won’t ya train with me?” “We trained the whole afternoon, I’m fuckin’ hungry!” “Yer always hungry!”. You couldn’t help a giggle, amused with the scene that unraveled before your eyes; though Suna’s appearance stole your focus like a flashlight.
The brunette had his earphones on, along with a console you knew quite well yourself. Your eyes widened as you searched for Aran, running towards his direction and pulling his arm for him to lower to your height.
“Will it be weird?” you whispered, to which he raised his eyebrows.
“Weirder than pulling me and saying sentences without a context?” Aran remarked. You mentally slapped your forehead.
“It’s just— Suna-san has some sort of gaming console, right?” with your statement, the male turned his attention to Suna, who was now being pulled back to court by Atsumu’s determined arms.
“Yeah, it’s a switch,” Aran confirmed, eyeing you. “Last year, he and Osamu played online together in between breaks. The coach got so mad his face turned all red, like a tomato. It’s an amusing memory.”
“Right, right,” you answered, paying bit mind to it. Your eyes kept wandering to Suna’s figure, scared he’d leave before you could engage in a conversation. “I have this friend in Tokyo, he loves this stuff; and at the beginning of this year, he bought a new switch and gave me his old one, games and everything.”
Aran’s eyes widened. “That’s extremely nice of him.”
“It was Kenma’s way of telling me to send my sister to hell and allow myself to have a little fun,” you said, smiling after remembering his text message. “Of course, I was too scared at the time.”
“But now you want to give it a try?” Aran questioned with a spark of pride in his eyes. “Told you that being our manager would do you some good.”
You rolled your eyes with a playful smile. “Yeah, whatever. My point is: will it be weird for me to engage in a conversation about such a matter? I mean, if I point out that he plays a switch, wouldn’t he expect me to play it as well? Because apart from turning it on, I have no idea how that thing works.”
A grin you weren’t sure you liked erupted in Aran’s features. “Oh, look at you! Head over heels over our middle blocker already. Guess you have a type.”
“Shut. Up.” He laughed, pointing with his head to Suna, who was already leaving the gym. 
“You can still catch up to him if you run,” the male provoked. You spared him a last bewildered look before doing just what he suggested.
Suna’s eyes were focused on his switch’s screen, causing his steps to be slower than usual. You couldn’t see Kuroo anywhere, which gave you a bad feeling; it was late in the night already, and you knew that Aran and Kita’s houses were in the opposite direction; the last thing you wanted was to walk home all by yourself at such a time. With a sigh, you convinced yourself to push that problem aside and poked Suna’s arm. He turned at you with a surprised glare that suddenly turned in amusement. 
“That in love with me already?” provoked the brunette, to which you blushed.
“Actually, I was wondering what you were playing?” you tried. He widened his eyes before showing you the screen. 
“Didn’t know you liked this stuff,” commented Suna, his features still astounded.
“I won a switch,” you explained. “A long time ago, if I’m being honest. Though I always found it entertaining, I never learned how to use it. I guess I was just wondering how it works.”
Your eyes, which were still glued to the bloody ‘You Died’ displayed on the switch’s screen, missed the way Suna’s orbs shone with hope and something deeper, stronger than any simple feeling.
He cleared his throat, owning your attention. “Tell me what, if you bring your switch tomorrow, we can meet up at lunch and I can teach you the basics,” the brunette covered his trembling hands from your sight, tucking them in his pocket.
“Really?” You semi-exclaimed, too excited to conceal the tone of your words. “Oh, that would be awesome! Thank you so much, Suna-san!”
His cheeks were painted a slight tone of red, and you innocently blamed the cold breeze for it. Suna's eyes ran away from yours as he glared towards the horizon, and though it felt as if the brunette struggled to mutter something, Atsumu's loud voice interrupted him.
"Suna ya bitch! Running away from extra training to flirt with our manager? What about bro code?" You laughed as the twins reached you two, walking side by side with you now.
"Hello, Atsumu-san," you called sweetly. "I'm sorry for not answering your previous messages, I was busy."
He grinned proudly before Suna turned his gaze at him. "You have her number?"
Osamu muffled a laugh. "So much about bro code."
"It's not ma fault yer so slow on your ass!" Atsumu protested loudly.
"We can all exchange numbers if that's the matter," you answered with a shrug, reaching the school's gate.
About to bid your farewell, you noticed with relief that they turned to the same direction your house was headed, a sigh almost escaping from your lips. The twins kept bickering, their loud voices echoing through the half-empty street when Suna's fingertips brushed on yours; you noticed how he was swiftly offering his phone for you to dial your number. With a smile, you did, adding a small winky face at the end of your name. If the Miyas noticed your small interaction, they didn't act upon it.
The youngsters stopped at a convenience store to buy some cheap ice cream, to which you judged them mad, as it was a cold night and they could get the flu. 
"Do ya want one, [Name]-senpai? I can pay," Atsumu offered.
"Don't ya go and try to be a gentleman when ya barely have enough money to pay for yer own ice cream," bickered Osamu, causing a fight to erupt as the blonde tried to hit his twin with a soda can.
Suna, who was behind you, bent to your ear, whispering: "I can pay yours if you want."
Ignoring the goosebumps that rose through your spine, you muttered your answer. "You kidding? It's freezing outside, and I had enough flu for a lifetime." You turned on your heels, wanting to thank him properly. "But thank you, though, you're too sweet to me."
"Only because yer pretty and he wants to cause a good impression~", sang Atsumu as he passed, earning a kick that caused a loud laugh to erupt from his twin.
Noticing the glares you were receiving from the clients, you stated: "Well, his strategy is working. But if you keep the attitude, we're going to get expelled with no ice creams, then go pay for your sweets, go, go!"
After they did as you instructed, you left the convenience store, keeping a light conversation as you walked by their sides until the street from your house was on display. The trio was about to turn to the opposite side, and you stopped on your tracks.
"Thanks for keeping me company. See you all tomorrow?" you asked.
"Damn right ya will! See you tomorrow, [Name]-san," said Atsumu. Osamu waved, his mouth filled with ice cream, while Suna winked before they left.
With warm cheeks and a pounding heart, you directed yourself to your street, and the one standing at the front door of your apartment did not amuse you at all.
Kuroo noticed as you approached him, a worried glint in his eyes as he grabbed your shoulders with a strong grip. He was trembling, his eyes that once hid everything were now screaming with relief.
"I ran to reach you, but when I got here, security told me you were yet to arrive. I was so worried," he whispered, his voice now muffled by your hair as he hugged you tightly.
Freeing yourself from his grip, you walked towards the door. "I'm safe, no thanks to you, though. I walked home with Suna and the twins."
Kuroo's tone was alarmed when he answered, following your tracks. "I took some time in the lockers, when I came out, Aran told me you left already. On your own. [Name] I was terrified!"
You stopped, turning on your heels. You were a little taller now, being two steps of the ladder above him. You searched for his eyes; the ones that were normally covered by equally dark bangs. Kuroo's posture showed nothing but nervousness as if he'd explode if something bad happened to you — as if the only reason why his heart was still beating was your safety.
"Oh," you muttered. Your voice seemed to turn a switch inside of him, as he finally reached to you. 
The ladder's step you two now shared was awfully small for two bodies to share, or perhaps that was only an impression caused by your agitation. Kuroo was taller again, glaring down at you with nothing but determination.
"You thought I left, didn't you?" he questioned. You gulped.
"Kuroo, we weren't even talking—”
"[Name] I would never leave you on your own, especially at night. I was there, I will always be there, even if you're not."
Your heart skipped a beat with his words, though that did nothing to stop him from continuing. "I love and treasure you more than any fight ahead of us. Fuck, [Name], you're my best friend, I need you!"
There it was. The best friend card, the painful reminder that you'd never mean more than that; that his sweet words and enormous worry were nothing but platonic. You had to live with that, to move on from whatever it was that you were feeling — because that love, that awfully strong and illogical love, was killing you.
You searched for any strength you had to not falter your next words. "Kuroo, I'm going inside my apartment, and you won't follow me. I'll enter my room, and you won't dare to wait for me at my window. You'll leave me alone for tonight, can you do that?"
He was astonished. The gears of his head working desperately to understand the possible mistakes or ambiguity of his words. You could see it; you could see him as clear as water, and it was tiring. You needed new perspectives; a person who you knew nothing about, one that you'd ask what was wrong, what was his favorite movie, what he wanted for lunch, without already knowing the answer.
"What did I do?" Kuroo questioned as you quickly reached for your door. "[Name]!"
You snapped, anger bubbling your insides. "You can't do that anymore! You can't tell me that you wouldn't stick by my side if you had the chance to and then wait for me in front of my house like a lost dog. I don't want you to do that. I want you to leave me alone!"
Closing the door behind you, you walked with your head low towards the elevator, too embarrassed to spare a glance to the security. Smashing your floor's number, you allowed a strangled sound to leave your throat, bending down with your hands on your knees as heaviness echoed through your lungs. But when the elevator made a sound, signaling that you reached your floor, and the metal doors opened, you were suddenly fine and unbothered. You couldn't dare to break down in front of your sister, for she would never forgive you.
Speaking of the woman, the second you opened your apartment's door, she gave you a cold glare. Sitting on the sofa with a cup of whiskey and a displeased expression, she motioned for you to enter, and you knew that night would be a long one.
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taglist (send me an ask if you’d like to be tagged): @haru-senji, @atsunflower​, @4kaashl​, @alwaysbeanunknownfan​, @gojoanti​, @mxshimoo​
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delias-bitch-craft · a month ago
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𝔐𝔞𝔯𝔠𝔦𝔞 ℭ𝔩𝔞𝔯𝔨 | ℌ𝔦𝔰 𝔇𝔞𝔲𝔤𝔥𝔱𝔢𝔯 | 𝔓𝔱 5
oh my god my marcia obsession is back full swing so here we go bitcheeessss
i think that i got the timeline a little wonky, as well as (since i’ve never been to court and don’t know how it works) the traditions that they go through when doing jury selection. i guess the family gets to sit in on it? but idk
so don’t assault me for getting some stuff not exactly accurate, this is a fanfiction what did you expect
i’m a strong believer that he killed her so deal with me getting heated over the fact that the asshole pleaded not guilty :’)
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warnings: swearing
word count: 2.1K
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taglist: @pearplate, @sapphicsarahpaulson, @rainbow-hedgehog, @lilypadscoven, @lostlastsforever756, @waverlysdump, @angelxsarahp, @mildolynwaltzedintomyheart, @sarahp-stan, @dreamer-queen, @ninaahs​, @winters-witch-bitch​, @msvenablezcane​, @legendsofwholock​, @fand0m-obsess3d-g33k​, @paulawand​, @thebijesus​, @sassicaismysupreme​, @its-soph-xx​, @goodeday2u, @paulsonpills​, @mlldolyn​
if you want to be added to the taglist, just message/ask me and I’ll be sure to do it! :)
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enjoy xx
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My last little encounter with Ms Clark had stayed on my mind for a few days. We didn’t have much contact for the next couple of trials, just brief fleeting glances across the room, maybe a little twitch of her lips into the smallest smile, but those were gone the second they appeared. I sigh, rolling over in bed and trying to get the brunette prosecutor out of my headspace. Nothing seems to work, and so I find myself drifting further and further, except not to sleep but instead into my own mind. I can’t seem to figure out why the woman stays on my mind so much, why I wish that she would smile properly at me. I’ve seen her do it before, with her coworkers, but never at me. And the longest conversation we’ve had went on for less than two minutes tops.
I just can’t help but wonder what it would take to get one of those glorious, blinding grins directed at me. But deep down I know I’ll never achieve that; Clark hates me, and I honestly kind of don’t blame her. She was trained to not like the defense, and even less so the family. But I just wish she could see that I don’t think my father is innocent. I would think that we could at least get along a little better, but instead she continues to treat me like I’m on the opposite side. It’s frustrating for sure, but I just have no idea what to tell her that would get her to understand that I’m really not. So I simply sigh heavily again and curl in on myself a little tighter. The air around me is thick with silence, everyone having gone to bed now. It’s....2:38 AM according to my clock, so I huff and sit up, getting out of bed and padding to the light switch, where I carefully turn on my fairy lights, the room lighting up in a dim, auburn glow that makes me smile a bit.
Biting my lip, I tap my foot for a moment before finally deciding to pull on some thigh highs, my legs getting kind of chilly in just my hoodie and shorts, before sitting down at my nice desk, grabbing for my sketchbook and pencil. Drawing always helps me calm down and sort out my thoughts, so I let my hand wander aimlessly, absently drawing whatever my brain subconsciously decides to put down as I allow myself to zone. When I finally return to earth, I look down to see what I usually do when I do this, my typical style.
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I smile softly and carefully put the finish sketch into my slowly growing art folder, before placing it back into my desk drawer and putting my pencil away. Once I’m done I hum and lean back, closing my eyes and rubbing the heels of my hands over them roughly, but in the bursts of light all I can see is her. So I yank your hands away and shake my head frantically, shooting up and beginning to pace, back and forth until I’m sure I’ll wear a hole in your carpet. This goes on for hours until everything blurs into one.
--
When I awake, I’m curled up on my plush rug, still on the floor. I must’ve collapsed or something last night; I can’t exactly remember. So I groan and rub my eyes as I try and sit up, pushing myself up on one of my hands, even though my arm is a bit shaky. It takes me a few minutes, but I eventually find myself on my feet and in front of my closet, trying to find something to wear. It’s Monday, i remind myself absently. This doesn’t mean anything, of course, besides the fact that it’s another day of trial, but still. It takes me way too long, but I finally just pick something out and throw it on, deciding that, fuck this, I’m not wearing heels, and put on some flats. After my makeup is on, I pop my lips and try to put on my normal confident look, before leaving my room and heading downstairs. Before I can get out, I hear my grandmother call out “Y/n! Why don’t you join us for breakfast, darling?”
I sigh, but I can’t deny her. Even though she insists my father is innocent, she’s still my favorite relative, so I put on a smile and spin around, replying “If you insist,” before walking towards her and joining her in the kitchen. I’m displeased but unsurprised to see the rest of my family there as well as Kardashian. With a huff and roll of my eyes, I reluctantly saddle up next to my cousin, who immediately starts grilling me about the fact that I’m not on their side. I do my best to ignore it and eat my food, but the constant chatter is a bit hard to block out when it’s right next to my ear. So eventually I snap “I get it! Shut up, I’m done!” and stand up, shoving my chair back and making it almost fall over. Without looking back, even as I hear my grandmother calling me name, I march out the door and into my car, not wasting a moment in starting it and backing out and into the street, where I drive off to the courthouse as quick as I (legally) can.
It doesn’t take me long to get there, going 50mph gets you places pretty fast, naturally. So, I pull into the nearest parking spot, get out of my car, and enter the building. Without thinking, my eyes dart wildly around the already crowded room until they land on the bathroom, at which point I stumble through the crowd and fumble with the door handle, pulling it open violently and tripping inside before collapse against the wall. I can feel my breathing getting heavier; I’ve never been good with getting yelled at or pressured into believing something that I don’t agree with. So having my cousin doing both of those things really seems to have affected me. I tangle my fingers in my hair and slide down the wall until I’m on the floor, pulling my knees up to my chest and trying to slow my gradually faster breathing. I’m so distracted I don’t hear the door opening, or the sound of heels clicking on the marble tiles, or the quiet hissing sound of a sharp intake of breath, nor do I see someone crouching down in front of my on the balls of their feet, their hand reaching towards me, hesitating, before landing on my knee.
But I do feel that hand, and I jerk, my head shooting up to see the owner of said hand. My breath hitches slightly and I stutter out “M-Mr. Hodgema-man.” The man frowns and mumbles “Are you alright, Miss Brown? I saw you stumble in here and it looked like you weren’t feeling well.” I smile at his thoughtfulness; he’s much nicer than I thought he would be, a few weeks ago. So I nod and rasp “I’m fine. I-I just...my family is still trying to convince me that my father is innocent and I just got very overwh-whelmed.” Hodgeman nods and smiles sympathetically, carefully helping me to stand up and allowing me to fix my wrinkled clothes and straighten my hair before leading me out of the bathroom. He whispers a few more words of reassurance, and I smile again, thanking him quietly. He soon leaves me again once I promise him that I’m okay, and as I watch him walk away, I catch a certain brunette’s eyes, which are narrowed in obvious suspicion.
I quickly slide my cocky facade back into place and smirk at her, running a hand through my hair absently and mimicking her classic one-shoulder shrug and eyebrow raise that she seems to like doing. The action makes her roll her eyes and turn away with a visible huff, and I chuckle lowly. I end up brushing past her on my way into the courtroom and mumble “Stop being so paranoid Ms. Clark,” before passing her and sitting down in my usual spot. She once again makes eye contact with me as she goes to her own spot at the prosecution table, giving me a glare, though it honestly doesn’t hold much bite. So I just smirk and wink at her, enjoying the way she momentarily pulls her bottom lip between her teeth before quickly turning away with another roll of her eyes. As she sits down I lean back, crossing my arms over my chest as I watch my family file into their spots one by one, licking my lips absently and drumming my fingers on my bicep.
--
Not guilty. He pleaded not guilty. Of course he did. So this just got ten times more interesting. I mean, it’s not like I expected him to plead guilty, that would’ve been insane, since he insists that he didn’t do it. The cheering that broke out on the defendant’s side makes me sick to my stomach and I clench my fists together, gripping my shirt tightly between my fingers, and I swear I hear the thread that holds the silk together rip a little. But I ignore it as I try to clear my vision of the slowly encroaching red. He killed her, he killed her, he killed her! I know it, everyone knows it, there’s evidence that he did it! I can’t believe this. He can’t seriously expect to get away with killing his wife, can he? The mother of his children, a wonderful woman, and he thinks he’ll get away with slaughtering her? Not to mention Ron Goldman.
The guy was completely innocent, I’m pretty sure he was only in his mid-twenties, and now he’s dead. I glance over at his parents and see his mother holding onto her husband tightly, his father shaking his head solemnly. I can almost feel the disappointment and anger radiating off of them; it makes sense. I mean, as much as I love my mother and I want justice for her, it’s not fair to Ron that he’s just being ignored, like he wasn’t murdered too. So as soon as court is dismissed, I quickly scamper over to the couple. I catch up to them, and gently lay my hand on the mother’s shoulder with a quiet “Hey, can I say something?” They both turn around quickly, and I smile sadly. “I-I’m sorry about your son, really. It’s not...not fair that he’s getting ignored. But, um, the prosecution, they’re really smart. And I-I trust that they’re going to convict him, I promise.”
I conveniently leave out the fact that he’s my father, but smile again when they nod and say “They better.” I also nod and give them both a quick hug and a few more whispered apologies and promises before they head off. I do the same, glad to be out of the stuffy and crowded building and back on my own. God, I hate this so much.
--
The next few days go happen much of the same way. Get up, eat, leave, go through trial, go home, sleep, repeat. My life blurs into one continuous moving picture, and I can no longer differentiate the days, because they’re all the same. Today goes a little differently, at least; it’s still just another day of jury selection, but before anything can start, one of the guards says that the Judge wants to see the entire council in his office. I frown; what’s this about? It takes around five or so minutes for them to come back and the court to be dismissed. Jury trial is being suspended until further notice due to a supposed book that’s been published, by one of my mother’s friends. Faye Resnick, or whatever her name was. I scoff. This is ridiculous, but it’s just like that woman to do something like this. Maybe this will help us, maybe it will hurt us, but I do know I have to get my hands on one of these books, especially if it’s so important it stops jury selection.
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