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skitskatdacat63 · 4 months

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Fernando Alonso & His Relationship With Cards

I'm sure we're all familar with the cards on the back of Fernando's Vegas GP helmet by now, but did you know his relationship with cards goes a lot deeper?

I. Magic Tricks

You've probably seen or heard someone at least mention Fernando's propensity for card tricks. As far as I can tell he was doing them(publically) as far back as 2003 all the way to as recently as 2018. Even once performing a card trick, with a condom and a teddy bear(!??!?!??!!), in front of Valentino Rossi who said "How was that possible?"(x)

But how did this start? According to James Allen, "Fernando admits to having been heavily influenced by his grandfather, a mercurial figure, who taught him magic and card tricks, still one of his passions away from the race track."(x) And I'm not sure the validity of this one, because I couldn't find an actual source, but apparently he once said: "My parents are responsible for the two things I like doing most - driving and magic tricks. They bought me my first go-kart and a magician's kit."

In several interviews he described it as his hobby off track, and that he loved learning new tricks and surprising others in the garage with them! So clearly cards are pretty important to him both as a hobby but also to who he is as a person since they've been with him just as long as racing has.

II. Card Symbolism in His Helmets

This is the reason I originally made this post, but I thought I should also explain the origins of his card fascination first. As I said, we probably all remember the cards on the back of his helmet in Vegas, but did you know that wasn't the first time he had cards on the back of his helmet?

From 2008-2013, he used to have a pair of cards on the back of his helmets. The symbolisms of the cards themselves as well as the evolution of their design is really fascinating to me! Even more so with the recent development of the card choice in 2023.

Fernando said he wanted to reference his two titles in some way on the back of his helmet and after his friend sent him several ideas, he decided on having two cards(an ace of clubs and an ace of hearts, sometimes pictured with 05 and 06 on them as well), saying: "I picked the cloverleaf [the ace of clubs - Ed] to give me luck, but the only pity is that it doesn't have four leaves!"(X)

2008.

Here's the very first appearance of the cards! They're displayed flat, with the 05 and 06 clearly visible

2009.

Very similar to 2008, but with a slightly different design, and they're maybe a bit more straight with less shadow?

2010.

This is the first major change! I was sad they didn't have the years on them anymore, but then I realized they're sparkly to match with his signature lightning bolts on the top of the helmet!!

2011.

Honestly I'm still somewhat unsure if this is the actual 2011 helmet? It's pretty difficult to find clear photos of the back of helmets from older seasons. It's easiest to find them on replica sites or auction sites so I'm not 100%? But anyways, I like that this has the championship years on the underside of the cards

2012.

This is when I started getting weirdly emotional about the helmets. Do you see how they've progressed from being a centerpoint to being curled up and sad at the bottom of the helmet? Not listing the year anymore??

2013.

Same thoughts as 2012. And after this season, they cease to exist (just like his ferrari chair in the garage, WOAH CALLBACK), until cards make a reeappearance in his Vegas helmet, albeit in a different form

2013 Monaco(Honorable Mention):

For some reason 2013 helmets were easier to find proper pictures of, so I happened to witness this absolute beauty. The creativity of this helmet genuinely blows me away??? Wanting to keep the card motif, but making sure to incorporate it into the rest of the puzzle piece design?? Mwah! There was another special 2013 helmet but they didn't change the cards at all so I really applaud this one

2023 Las Vegas(The Return of The King):

The magnificent return! But look! The cards are different cards! Instead of being two aces, it's now an ace of hearts, a four of hearts(his driver number of course!) and, the, now iconic, representation of himself as a Joker. I literally could not believe my eyes when this helmet was released and I saw the Joker card, what a fucking silly old man....I really wonder if he felt nostalgic having cards on his helmet again or if he didn't think about it all and was just like, "ah cards because Vegas!!!"

III. Why Does This Matter?

*The rest of the post was factual, this is moreso my personal thoughts on the symbolism of the cards/designs

This post spawned from me recently watching the 2010 Bahrain gp and noticing "hey wait a minute...are those CARDS ON THE BACK OF HIS HELMET!?" It's a really tiny detail that's unfortunately covered up by the HANS device pretty much whenever he's wearing the helmet, so it's really difficult to spot! But I became fascinated with the fact that he had cards on his helmet before that recent helmet, and now here we are!

There's something to me about how the design of the cards evolves over the course of six seasons from the cards being front and center to being smaller, more folded up and closer to the bottom of the helmet. As I said, the 2012-2013 ones genuinely made me depressed because it feels, symbolically, like his hopes for getting another Ace are becoming more and more unlikely and falling away until they eventually fall falt and fade away entirely after 2013 and disappear for basically a decade.

But when they return? They're not the same cards! Instead of representing Fernando's championships, they now represent him as a person, displaying his driver number and his persona of being a Joker!! Though I do think it's interesting he happened to keep the Ace of Hearts, even though he talked more about the Ace of Clubs before. I'm not sure it's actually this deep in reality, but I like to think that it's him not letting his championships(and the lack thereof) define him, but rather letting who he is as a person shine and be the centerpoint instead! But on a sadder note, as @suzuki-ecstar said to me, maybe the Aces aren't there anymore because he's lost all hope for a chance at a third Ace entirely :(

#yes its finals week and im up to my eyes in coursework but instead decided to spend like 5 hours researching and writing this post #nah bcs i actually genuinely put more work into this then I think I have all semester dsfjdskjg #that thing about him using a condom and teddy bear in a magic trick genuinely had me crying with laugher. actual tears rolling down my face #<- HOW!?!? WHAT WAS THE TRICK?? its literally inconceivable to me what he did. oh if only there were pics UGH #anyways!! this post was a lot of fun to make!! i really really love the symbolism and design of helmets so this was a rly fun project #and i also went down a lot of rabbitholes while make this and saw many very weird articles from yore #i feel like i make an equal amnt of deranged posts abt seb and nando but i dont know why nando is gifted w all my well researched projects #<- i.e. chair post. that was the same level of research as this one but at least this one i could find actual sources about....#idk theres smth about the extremely long history of nando's history that evokes research posts like this KLAJSLSKDJ #theres just so much that i dont think I ever really see people discussing! so i must create.#haha what was that joke tag i wanted to make abt my researched posts? I think:#normal posts that catie normally makes in a normal fashion #<- one day ill go back and actually tag posts w that. bcs the amtn of research compared to my actual schoolwork is so unwell #fernando alonso #fa14 #f1 #formula 1 #catie.rambling.txt #we do a little bit of f1

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cyberels · 4 months

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IT WILL COME BACK

(you know better, babe)

𖦹彡⋆｡˚ summary: ellie makes it her goal to talk to you again after a one night stand.

see part one here

𖦹彡⋆｡˚ warnings: nsfw (implied), language

𖦹彡⋆｡˚ a/n: this is the worst thing ive ever written please god do not base my skill off of this i lost inspiration 😭😭😭😭 pleasee im so sorry..,,,.,. also no smut in this part my bad sorry gay people

alsooo readers username on ig is hoezier if you don’t like it simply pretend it’s something else😁

reader is female with a reputation for one night stands

this is also very much loser!ellie idk man idk she gets more confident later in the fic tho

ellie was fucked - no pun intended. you literally just gave her the best sex of her life and immediately after you were pulled away from her without even so much as a goodbye.

if ellie ever finds out who called the cops, she swears to herself that she’s going to punch them right in their fucking face for cutting her time with you short.

there was something about you that made her yearn to have you near her again. she was trying to forget about you, but you were becoming a craving she couldn’t shake, despite barely even speaking to one another. your small encounter with ellie left an impact on her.

she knew basically nothing about you besides your name, but she did learn that you were… very experienced. she could gather that much based on how confident you were, and how it took you just minutes to figure out how to make her feel the best she’s ever felt. you knew what you were doing, and ellie didn’t even try to resist your advances, letting her body be taken by you.

ellie was not submissive, she barely even let any of the other people she’s slept with take the dominant position… so why did she let you, of all people, take control without her even putting up a fight? you were under her skin like an itch that was impossible to scratch.

ellie arrived back at her dorm later that night, but the feeling that she left something unfinished hung over her like a shadow.

she pulled out her phone, which was a shitty attempt at a distraction; no matter how many tiktok videos she watches, her thoughts were consistently and stubbornly directed to you. her brain couldn't wrap around how you became entrenched within her mind so easily.

she needed to tell someone about this and get if off her chest. she opened up her contacts and her thumb hovers over dina’s number. she debates on even telling her friend about this for a minute… falling for someone she barely knows is definitely not something she ever wanted to happen. she sighs, and presses the call button, very painfully aware of how embarrassing the situation is.

“hey!” dina answers after a few rings, “what’s up?”

“dina, i’m dying. i’m screwed.”

“what’d you do this time?”

ellie groans before explaining the situation that unfolded just hours before, words gushing forth as she explains the events of the night.

dina interrupts ellie’s rant after a few moments, laughing as she speaks. “—okay, slow down. what’s her name?”

the second your name spills out of ellie’s mouth, dina inhales in a sharp breath of air.

“what? what’s wrong?” ellie asked, “do you know her?”

“if she’s who i think she is… i wouldn’t get attached.”

“…why?”

“i’m sorry, i just— she’s slept with a few girls i know and she usually does not ever talk to them again.”

“well it’s too late for me, i’m already attached; you don’t know the half of it. but there was something there between us, a spark or whatever. i don’t know, maybe she felt it, too.”’

“that’s not a spark. that’s a fire. because your brain has got to be fucking burning down if you’re even considering reaching out to her.”

“…do you have her instagram?”

“ellie. no.”

ellie sighs, kicking off her shoes and flopping on her bed, “i’ll just say hi and see where it goes. she probably won’t even respond, it’ll be fine.”

“i want you to know i think this is a terrible idea… but i sent you her username.”

“fuck yeah! thank you, dina.”

fuck your reputation, ellie was gonna make you hers one way or another.

you stare at your screen for a second.

ellie… that’s a pretty name.

it suits her.

she went out of her way to find you, it’s kind of sweet. half the other people you’ve hooked up with don’t give a shit about you after you’re done; you can’t be mad at them, though, considering you do the same.

ellie was just a rare case, you’ll forget about her in a few days.

…right?

you know that getting attached is never a good idea, that’s why you barely bothered to learn her name. in all honesty, you didn’t really care to learn the names of anyone you’ve slept with, the only reason why you did was because you didn’t want to look impolite. despite feeling like an asshole, you set your phone down on your bedside table and attempt to shove the thoughts of this girl—ellie—away. you were already constantly thinking about her, messaging her would just make this whole situation harder on you.

you refuse to get more attached than you already are.

unfortunately for you, your attempts to get ellie off your mind are proving unsuccessful. you’d never admit it, but she was getting to you more than anyone else you’ve been with before.

it’s a struggle to go about your day normally when you’re constantly on the lookout for this stupid girl you cannot get your mind off of for some godforsaken reason; you did not want to run into her and make this situation more awkward than it already is.

the stars are not on your side, apparently, because when you enter the coffee shop you usually do homework at, you see her in the corner. she’s on her phone, scrolling idly through it.

great!

your body cries out for her touch, the invisible string of attraction that tied you to her pulled you in closer and closer and you mentally curse yourself for feeling this strongly about her.

you can’t shake the feeling that you should go over there and say something, anything. but what would you even say?

“hey, sorry i ignored you, you just make me feel things i’ve never felt before and it’s making me question everything because i’ve never felt this way about any of my other hookups.”

…that doesn’t seem like the best option, so you inch closer to the door you just came in from before turning and leaving completely.

‘god’ you think, ‘what the fuck is happening to me?’

unbeknownst to you, ellie sees you. she sees you walk in, look at her, and immediately leave.

ellie is well aware of your reputation, but it still stings that you don’t care the way that she does. she knows that you probably don’t care much about anyone that you’ve slept with, that it’s not just her you don’t seem to care about, and she tries to be okay with it.

she packed up her stuff, unwilling to sit in the coffee shop while she was sulking, but as she was doing so, her phone lit up with a notification.

‘take that, dina,’ ellie thinks, ‘she wants me… i think?’

#max writes ☆#ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams x you #the last of us #tlou #wlw #wlw smut #i don’t even wanna tag this #idk why im so insecure about this sorry if it’s annoying im just WHAJFJSJFJFJJDJJDWJKDD

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astrolotte · 6 months

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Thinking of writing a fic where Wiggly calls Nibbly the "least evil Lord in Black" (a canonical fact about him fyi), and Nibbly responds by deciding to supposedly 'prove him right' by sabotaging his latest apocalypse and working with the humans. Just to fuck with him. As brothers do.

No clue if anyone would even be interested in it but I'm highly considering it. Maybe I'll see where this goes.

edit: turns out people are very interested in this, so I've started writing it! if you're intrigued enough here's the ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51812965

#hiding this in the tags #as the story goes on i think it would be interesting to explore Nibbly's relationship with his whole. evilness.#and maybe even end up with it as an exploration of how an evil god turns ''good'' (more like morally gray)#as he gets attached to the humans he's working with (a few select main characters of the trilogy)#and as he pretends to be a good person he sort of. almost becomes one.#and how that would feel to a god whose sole purpose is to be cruel and evil. and hungry.#but idk if people would be interested in that #which is why im hiding it in the tags #hello if you're reading this :)#i've watched Nightmare Time btw i know the lore B)#npmd #starkid #nerdy prudes must die #lords in black #nibblenephim #nibbly #writing #hatchetfield #hatchetverse #hatchetfield fanfic

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wrylu · 3 months

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FUCK!!! it's finally done. after a whole day

COD CHARACTERS, but they're B U G S

cw insects!! if you get hibbie jibbies from buggo art or just bugs in general, u can scroll💗

and for those who wanna see the art, it looks better if you click on it and zoom in on it or something :)

the worms in my brain bothered me last night to draw cod characters but they're bugs and this morning i started IMMEDIATELY

at the cost of my fingers, wrists, and hands 🕊

the amount of tags on this one.

#((NOTE: ok first of all WHEN I FIRST POSTED THIS HALF OF THE TAGS GOT FUCKING DELETED SO IM CURRENTLY WRITING THEM ALL AGAIN UGH.#and then it deleted it the second time. omfg. im so angry why tumblr WHY. anyway #... alejandro and rudy don't have like depicting accessories or attributes but i tried #so like i just made the cicada angry because alejandro just LOOKS FUCKING ANGRY ALL THE TIME like bro is 😠#and if u squint and look very closely you can see one of rudy's moles on the ant's face. clever i know #didn't have enough room for nik so he's just fking floating next to price <3 #didn't know how to do the skull balaclava for ghost so yeah looks a TEENY bit weird #and if u squint AGAIN on farah's head u can see her accessories !!#and gaz's hat is so tiny. idk why i did that LMAO #and if u noticed yes yes yes the red caterpilliar mark IS supposed to be johnny's scar. (im amazing)#there WILL be more of bug cod characters.#maybe even some cute fluffy bug shipping heeheehoo #is this an au?#“AU but cod characters are bugs”))#wrylu #lu's canvas #au #cod #call of duty #alex keller #farah karim #john price #nikolai cod #rodolfo parra #alejandro vargas #kyle garrick #soap mactavish #simon riley #Call of Duty: Bug AU

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sewercentipede · 4 months

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can u guess what im listening to while having my 4am smoke

#btw im so glad I went apeshit buying so much lingua merch when i did bc its all discontinued now forever #since she goes by her given name now (+ reverend)#also I stg idk why but my phones flash looks like it put a filter on my face somehow #just slightly. but enough for me to notice cuz ummmm where are my freckles #also confessedly:#kinda only took these to see how my new lipsticks look…. upper lip is one color lower lip is another #(and lipliners)#I kinda like it! but I’m annoyed cuz I have so many brown lippies and several are super dark but on me they don’t look true brown/dark enuf #like UGH still searching for my perfect brown :(#the upper lip color is the darkest brown shade that brand has in that lipstick type #and it’s my fav lipstick type :/#I can’t seem to find a brown that doesn’t just look mauve or reddish. is it my lips????#sigh #I love writing essays in my tags apparently <3 #lingua ignota #kristin hayter #merch #my pic #من

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deeply-unserious-fellow · 2 months

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Hazbin Hotel AU where sinners look relatively human when they first get to Hell, maybe some sharper teeth or a funky skintone/eye color, but still human. Then, the longer they're in Hell, the more demonic they get. Could be gradual & never stop, could take place over a set period of time and end with them in a set demon form that they're stuck with forever, who knows. There's just SO much horror potential in that kinda thing. Just this slow, painful, probably disgusting, inevitable process of losing your humanity, while simultaneously surrounded by others who are also undergoing that process/already have. There's also some good hurt/comfort in there too! Since everybody would have to go through that process, other sinners who have already gone through it could help younger sinners adjust. Idk man there's just a lot you could do w/ the concept-

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comradekatara · 4 months

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the thing about the adult gaang movie is even if it’s somehow done really well, i don’t wanna see aang and katara as adults, that will actually make me really sad. whereas if sokka is the protagonist that’s fine because i already think everyone should heal and find fulfillment after the war except for sokka. i think sokka should get worse. i think sokka should continue collecting mental illnesses like they’re pokemans creatures. a qing dynasty court intrigue film with sokka navigating ba sing se politics (and iroh can feature as he dispenses occasional wisdom. but sokka is just like “call your son”), or a xai bau spy thriller (except tbh this one would work better as a novel), or even just. a mai and sokka roadtrip movie in the style of an early 2000s stoner comedy (this one would have no artistic merit but it’s also probably the best idea ive ever had). these are but a few examples of the many ideas i have for movies that put my favorite guy through hours of suffering without having to depict my other favorite guys as anything other than the precious babies i know and love.

#‘pokemans creatures’ is what i call them to piss my brother off so much #aang and katara are BABIES #do not ROB ME OF THAT #everyone in the world must age or die #but katara and aang!!!! are immortalized forever in babydom!!!!!!#why would you ruin that!!!!!!!#(okay im actually just going thru a separate crisis here wrt my brothers but don’t. we’re not talking about that okay)#also i think if you wanna make a movie that’s ‘darker’ and ‘for older audiences’ just make sokka the protagonist and boom problem solved #last time sokka got to be the protagonist he attempted suicide at the human rights abuses volcano #his mind is a dark dark place ok!#but also mai & sokka stoner comedy. is anyone writing this down? u should be writing this down #idk how to tag this #sokka #i guess?#postwargaang #also #bc obv these all happen in my complex tapestry of post war developments #gene yang could never #ask me about any one of these points for elaboration (PLEASE)

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tyciel · 27 days

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officially introducing my geto teacher au *puts on my party hat* *cries into my hands*

#geto suguru #maki zenin #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #my art #teacher geto au #theres lore! to this whole thing #i'll gradually create more relationship profiles like this for everyone else too #but here's what i have drawn out so far #this will eventually be satosugu #... youll see #maki before the horrors #whoever let maki buy those boots is not her friend #im writing a sort of prequel to this au on ao3 rn but you wouldnt be able to tell theyre the same au yet #jjk au #idk why im yapping so much in the tags. shutting up now

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kairithemang0 · 14 days

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Gahhhh drunk curtwen how I adore thinking about you

#spies are forever #curtwen #agent curt mega #owen carvour #tin can bros #tin can brothers #im listening to jazz music in a really dimly lit bar right now and all I think about is them #Drunken confessions my beloved #I should write a drunk curtwen fic even just for my own amusement #They’d be so silly drunk #Owen would be such a flirty drunk idk his self control would go out the window #I love posts where I just make an entire paragraph out of tags #Idk why I do this

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deikyrio · 6 months

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Slasher saturday

#friday the 13th #jason voorhees #furry art #furry #furry bara #this should have been posted yesterday hhh #saturday the 14th #I'm really cooking halloween pieces this year #idk what to post for the 31st tbh #idk why I keep writing stuff on tumblr tags #it feels like it's the right thing to do #but I'm doing it the wrong way #it's weird #idk #next year im turning ghostface into a furry daddy #unless I give in to the voices and do it this year #we shall see

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cupiidzbow · 5 months

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that one post asking what ring they would propose to you with….. i actually have a whole thing of how it would play out ( im normal )

#doodles #not putting this in my main art tag bc i was just scrawling down ideas I might make a whole thing tbh …..#the whole thing i was thinking abt was like. we both know we’re far from ready to get married #but we know we want to be with eachother for the rest of our lives #he’s wanted to give something to show he was committed to me so he got a promise ring. not an engagement ring 😭#but i think he’s proposing that we get married and that’s why i look a lil horrified .#he panics after seeing my reaction not realizing how it came off and promises that he wasn’t proposing #he just wanted to make it know that he wants a future together with me ….#idk I don’t know if I have the will power to make a comic …. maybe I’ll write a fic….. im insane rn sorry ….#banjo i love you #🐻🍯🪕

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listen-to-the-inner-walrus · 10 months

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can you explain why you dont believe the titanic switch conspiracy theory? didnt they find a propeller with "olympic" written on it amongst the wreckage?

i feel like the phrase "you just activated my trap card" applies here but i have also never watched yu-gi-oh so dont fully know the correct use of that. anyway whats the text limit on a tumblr post because i think i might hit it with this response.

before we begin (if you wanna join me on this fucking journey), ill just drop some useful sources on the topic:

olympic & titanic - an analysis of the robin gardiner conspiracy theory dissertation by mark chirnside in july 2006

titanic or olympic: which ship sank? by steve hall and bruce beveridge

olympic & titanic: the truth behind the conspiracy by steve hall and bruce beveridge

with that shipkeeping housekeeping out of the way, lets jump into it after the cut

so hands up, how many people knew that this theory originated in a book from 1995?

yeah, its a pretty modern theory considering titanic sank in 1912. the theory originated in the riddle of the titanic by robin gardiner and dan van der dat.

and the theory argues that the ships were switched and titanic (actually olympic) was deliberately sank as part of an insurance scam. now they didnt do this at all for shits and giggles. instead, the theory posits that the navy enquiry that followed the 1911 collision between hms hawke and olympic was biased which meant white star line couldnt recover the costs of repair from lloyds (the insurance company), and therefore, they wrote olmpic off as too damaged to be repaired, lied about the amount of damage, switched the ships and sank olympic disguised as titanic to recover some costs.

far-fetched? oh definitely and it gets worse, but ill leave that til later in this gargantuan response because its really fucking funny.

(seriously, i recommend you read til the end or just skip to the part where i start talking about the sinking itself because fam, gardiners theory gets wild )

according to van der dat, who is a dutch journalist and naval history writer with an incredibly dutch name, gardiner had wrote the manuscript after researching the titanic for however many years and sent it to his literary agent. this agent had previously worked with van der dat and so sent it to him to double-check the information by going back to the original sources. he then rewrote the book with line-by-line consultation with gardiner.

and would you like to hear a quote from van der dat regarding the theory? i think you would:

"the publishers were disillusioned when the theory did not stand up"

he also, in correspondence with titanic author and researcher paul lee, called it "bilge" which is a fun ship joke alongside calling the theory bullshit.

anyway, the publishers went ahead with the book anyway because fuck integrity, i guess... thats kinda harsh considering this first book (oh yeah, theres more) was praised for stellar research and for being balanced, and the final chapter of the book literally acknowledges that the wreck has titanics shipyard number (401) on it, hence disproving the theory.

in 1997, it was published in the us under the name the titanic conspiracy - cover-ups and mysteries of the worlds most famous sea disaster, and it sold like sliced bread in 1928 because 1997 was titanic fever, baby!

unsurprisingly, gardiner's following books (titanic: the ship that never sank? in 1998; the history of the white star line in 2001; the great titanic conspiracy in 2010) were a lot less well-received and were not co-authored by van der dat.

"but wait, kai!" you might shout if youre up to date with issues of the times from 1914, "what about raymond asquith's comments? he was junior counsel for the board of trade at the sinking inquiry!"

and i would say, what about it? the letter asquith wrote to the times was a sarcastic letter in response to a prior stance taken by the paper.

yes, he said "the architect, the owner, and the captain to repair their desperate fortunes by sinking the ship and sharing the insurance money" but said letter also included the phrase "manipulating dummy icebergs".

if were taking sarcastic or satirical responses outside of their original contexts as serious quotes, then i guess i need to cancel my dropout subscription since the company holds the opinion that oj simpson is innocent.

and while were here, that single deathbed confession from james fenton is not evidence of anything. his name is not on any crew lists or survivor lists, and not a single payment was ever claimed by a crewman called james fenton. he was not on board the titanic and his claims hold no weight.

now, my go-to explanation as to why i dont believe the switch theory is that their insurance scam would have lost them money and they would know that it would have lost them money.

see, it cost white star (which was a subsidiary of the international mercantile marine) £1.5million/$7.5million to build titanic and they insured it by lloyds (you can check their records on their website) for £1million/$5million.

you dont have to be good at maths to see a problem here.

they didnt just not insure the rest; it was self-insured by imm's insurance fund, but that still means theyd have lost £500,000/$2.5million on the sunken ship.

this whole insurance thing was established by uh the united states senate inquiry report:

"the vessel fully equipped, cost £1,500,000 sterling, or about $7,500,000. at the time of the accident the vessel carried insurance of £1,000,000 sterling or about $5,000,000, the remaining risk being carried by the company's insurance fund."

oh and the £1,000,009 insurance was announced in the daily mirror on 16th april 1912

and the insurance scam seemingly thought up by someones whose first and only introduction to maths was golf isnt the only way white star would have lost money on this.

after the sinking, olympic was temporarily pulled from service to increase safety measures like adding more lifeboats. obviously, a logical move made by a company with a brand new, safer ship on their hands who were desperate for any money they can make.

white star also halted construction of britannic, titanics other sister ship, in order to alter the design and make it safer. this costs quite a bit of money and is, again, an odd choice for a company apparently desperate for money.

and hey, question for you guys: if you were alive in 1913 and needed to cross the atlantic, would you

a) choose the near identical sister ship of that ship that sank last year and was the deadliest sinking of a ship at that time

b) choose any other option such as the lusitania or the mauretania or the ss france or the ss imperator

personally id take my chances with option a, idk about you

yeah so the point im making here is that the sinking of the titanic was what the kids say

a marketing disaster

it was the loss of the newest flagship on its maiden fucking voyage and it had been touted as "practically unsinkable". maybe just maybe people wouldnt feel that comfortable getting on a white star line ship after that.

i dont have any figures for you because reading through a detailed account of white stars history just is not on my to-do list, but that doesnt even matter. what matters is that its clearly a massive risk and who the fuck is taking that risk?

as titanic author, senan molony states:

"one doesnt need to compare designs and count portholes - a moments serious consideration of the reputational risk involved - individually and collectively - is all that is required to end any entertainment of the notion"

anyway, you guys wanna compare designs and count portholes? yeah? okay, here we go!

may i present a non-exhaustive list of differences between the ships:

olympics wheelhouse was curved; titanics was flat

titanic was 4 inches longer

the porthole arrangements on shelter deck c were different

on b deck, olympic had a 1st class promenade; titanic had 2 private verandahs and suites (put a pin in this by the way, it comes back in the best of ways)

titanic had additional cabins on promenade deck a

olympics promenade was open all the way along; on titanic, the forward half of the 1st class promenade on a-deck was enclosed with retractable glass screens

on titanic, the forward bridge wings aft docking bridge on the stern extended over the ships side by a couple of feet; this would not be true for olympic until the 1912/13 refit

the officers deck house was pushed out more on titanic

the iron gates of the elevators were different between the ships and this is evident in the wreck itself

their propellers had different pitches and hence not interchangeable (pitch is a theoretical concept which is like the distance a propeller would move if it turned once through something solid, yeah i dont know either)

the wireless cabin had an outside window on olympic, but not titanic

further, it was placed on the port side of the officers deck house on olympic but amidship on titanic

they had different air vent arrangements around the funnels

white star line cut the ships names into the shell-plating at the bow and stern, four feet high and a ½ inch deep

now, please, close your eyes, take a deep breath and consider how much money it would cost to switch just the list above. now compare all of that to the -£500,000/$2.5million youre losing in the insurance scam.

truly, a spend less on candles situation.

and while we're here, shall we quickly talk about how much hush money white star would be paying to silence everyone about this since its apparently an illegal insurance scam.

not to make another non-exhaustive list but heres just who i can think of that youd have to silence:

the 15,000 workers employed directly by the shipyard

the 20,000+ workers in support services or sub contractors

any permanent or casual staff at the belfast dock and harbour comission

all of the officers and crew who came directly from olympic onto titanic such as the captain or stewardess violet jessop (puppet history fans rise up) who interestingly remarked on how improved titanic was compared to olympic

any staff at white star, imm and harland & wolff (where she was built) who would be in the know such as designers

passengers who had previously sailed on olympic who then sailed on titanic

just like anyone in belfast who walked past while the ships were docked together

olympics wreckers: thomas wards & sons who kept huge loose-leaf ledgers for each ships. the one for olympic was 72 pages long and funnily enough olympics yard number and builders I'd frequently appear in it, as seen below

bob ballard who was the one who found titanic. hes known as a very honest man and didnt even claim salvage rights on titanic because he assumed everyone else would also recognise it was a gravesite. he also said "i think it is the titanic at the bottom of the ocean"

every other explorer or researcher like james fucking cameron or us navy consultant and titanic wreck explorer, parks stephenson

its been estimated likely over 60,000 people were involved in just the building of titanic. this was ⅕ of belfasts population and ⅓ of the working population. heres a photo of them leaving olympic at the end of the day

now maybe im just a fool, but that looks like a lot of people you need to silence, and unless white star were blackmailing them or idk fucking killing them i guess, thats a lot of hush money just in the photo above.

i mean, theres also the claim, from noted liar james fenton, that the surviving crew were forced to sign the official secrets act of 1911, but that act was about espionage that benefits the enemy military so im not sure how this is relevant to the switch, and also, again, the guy was never on the ship.

are you perhaps starting to get the picture as to why i dont believe the conspiracy theory because im still going.

okay so as established, if the ships were switched, there would have clearly been a lot of work that would need to be done to switch the ships.

and i only mentioned some of the structural differences, i didnt get into the aesthetic differences like the floor tiles and carpeting being different colours, or how the lounge furniture in each ship having the ship name on them.

mind you, this is what titanic looked like (in the foreground) when olympic was first docked next to her:

this was taken around october 11. olympic docked next to titanic on october 7th for repairs after that whole catastrophic collision.

now how much time do you think it was before olympic sailed away? mind you, titanic has already been launched at this point and just needs to be fitted-out, and that normally takes around 4 to 6 months?

oh, what was that? 44 days? why, kid, youre going somewhere. it was 44 days exactly!

now, i dont think i need to get into the fact that the dock only had 1 crane (which you needed to install and uninstall funnels and machinery) that physically couldnt reach olympic unless she was moved or how olympic was painted white for her launch and then painted black and that the white paint would get exposed in rough weather so the same would have to be applied to titanic so it would look convincingly like olympic.

i mean, you have that information now, but im hoping just by the words "44 days", you might get how off the wall insane it is to suggest white star was able to switch the ships so well no one noticed for decades in 44 fucking days.

"wait kai, youre forgetting that they were docked together again!" you shout, "after olympic threw a propeller, they were docked together from march 1st to march 7th 1912"

and i dont know dude, im pretty sure white star cant warp space time so i really dont know what eight extra days is gonna do.

i hate to strawman but man, the late robin gardiner would have won a gold medal in scarecrow hide and seek.

lets also take a quick detour into the idea that olympics repairs were so expensive.

without getting into gardiners claims about the damage because theres no evidence of it and as mark chirnside states "there are no credible sources indicating that the damage to olympic was worse than reported at the time - and indeed ample sworn expert testimony to the contrary", lets just quickly go over some financial stuff.

during the case, it was unofficially estimated that the damage didnt exceed $125,000. imm, by including lost passenger receipts, wanted to claim for as high as $750,000, but they lost that case.

during the year 1911, imms surplus profit was $822,062. so weve got:

750,000 > 822,062

now as we might remember from key stage 1 maths, the bigger number eats the smaller number, aka, their surplus profit covered the costs of repair.

aka, no ill-advised insurance scam needed.

"thousands of people in belfast would have seen the switch operation - and yet there is not one word in the papers of reporters or photographers rushing out to find out what was happening."

-dr paul lee

so this is the section where i ask how did no one fucking notice?

no one on titanic, who had previously sailed on olympic, ever said anything about the switch other than one guy who was literally not on the ship at any point.

no one who has ever explored the wreck or done research on it has definitively stated it was olympic. rather, they have definitively stated otherwise.

for example, what remains of the base on the wheelhouse shows it to be straight and not curved, and as you might remember: titanics wheelhouse was heterosexual straight and olympics was curved.

(id be impressed if you did remember)

also, as parks stephenson has stated:

"weve got actual high def images of this wreck. ive seen with my own eyes. weve identified the name titanic on the port bow"

its difficult to make out but its there; the name is on the fucking ship.

also, as you might remember, titanics b-deck was different to olympics. the 2 suites there were nicknamed the "millionaire suites" and jim cameron has used rovs to go inside of them.

funnily enough, robin gardiner has gone on the record saying that these suites didnt exist so make of that what you will.

and further, no one noticed anything about olympic even though she sailed for 24 more years. theres no written record of anything, theres nothing in the board of trade reports, theres no photographic proof and theres not even fucking hearsay.

she served as a damn troopship in ww1, youd figure someone would figure it out as all of her fittings were ripped out.

but no, theres nothing.

as i mentioned above, olympic was scrapped in 1935, but some of her fittings were auctioned off and still exist today. and these have the number 400 on them because that was her shipyard number. titanics was 401 and the wreck reflects this also:

the wooden parts are from olympic; the other has been salvaged from titanics wreck.

theres even the famous myth that olympic or olympus as one person told me is written on the propeller at the bottom of the ocean. its not, but you can see the number 401 written on it:

and while were disproving myths about the name olympic being on the titanic, the story about olympic being engraved on titanics lifeboats is also false:

theres no written testimony, no sketches and no photographs of this.

white star didnt engrave names onto lifeboats, the names were on metal plates that were screwed on

do you really think they did all of this work but just didnt fucking swap the lifeboats? if theyre this stupid, how did it take until 1995 for someone to figure it out?

we can also discuss the stupid olympic room thing while were here. see theres a maritime superstition that changing the name on a ship is bad luck and obviously, if youre swapping the ships, youre changing the names.

so to... get around this? cheat luck? outsmart superstition? i dont fucking know, to take a detour to avoid this, white star named a room "the olympic room."

i cannot find any evidence at all that this room ever existed. its not in the design plans or the blueprints, and no passenger or crew has ever said it existed, so im pretty sure the room just didnt exist.

and even if it did exist, titanic was in the olympic class of ships. thats what olympic, titanic and britannic were. its not weird to have an olympic room on an olympic class ship. i mean it is weird in this case since the room didnt exist, but you get my point.

and heres some quickfire myths and falsehoods

the myth about the 14 vs 16 bow portholes is also a false. yes, titanic had 14 portholes on launch but an extra 2 were added before her maiden voyage so yes, the ship photographed departing southampton with 16 bow portholes is the titanic, and do you really think it would take 83 years to figure this out if it was this easy?

similarly, titanic did have evenly spaced b-deck windows on launch, but then the extra verandahs and suites were added so the window configuration was altered, so that photograph is off the titanic.

the idea that titanic had a 2 degree list to port like the olympic before her is evidence of the switch theory is, to borrow a word from dan van der dat, bilge. plenty of ships at the time and now have minor lists. the one on titanic was only recorded by 2 passengers and we know that the list was related to coal consumption. it means nothing.

jp morgan (owner of imm) did not cancel last minute. as mark baber points out on encyclopedia titanica, it was announced in the new york times that hed be in venice on april 23. at that time, transatlantic voyages took at least 5 days so it would at least be a 10 day round trip and likely not give him time to get to venice for the opening of a store of whatever it was.

also, j bruce ismays wife and kids also didnt cancel last minute. theyd already decided to go on holiday to wales rather than sail on titanic.

addendum to that point: if ismay knew it was going to be sank deliberately and so warned his wife, why would he get on board himself? further, why would harland and wolff designer thomas andrews (who did not survive by the way) get on board?

and we're finally at my favourite part of this entire mess: the sinking itself.

see, a deliberate sinking doesnt really make sense for titanic because the conditions under which she sank has led to the descriptor "freak sinking."

these are: a new moon meaning less light, unusually calm ocean that disallowed lookouts to watch for foam as waves hit any icebergs, ice having drifted further south than normal for that time of year, and a sideways glancing blow that breached more watertight compartments than the ship could handle and stay afloat.

and idk dude, is there not an easier way? like maybe some light arson. just call it an accidental fire that got out of control and led to the ship being a write-off, this isnt difficult.

but you see gardiner has an answer to this, and i am laughing as im typing this, he claims that:

titanic didnt hit an iceberg, it hit an imm rescue ship.

thats right, this guy fully says titanic didnt hit an iceberg. apparently it hit another ship and NO ONE FUCKING NOTICED

i mean we have testimony from survivors but fuck them i guess.

he claims that as titanic was apparently a "steel double-hulled vessel" so an iceberg simply couldnt inflict so much damage.

yeah titanic wasnt double-hulled. she had a double bottom, but it was only after titanic that shipbuilders were like ah maybe full double hulls arent an unnecessary expense after all.

theres also the issue of uh no evidence of this rescue ship ever existing? at all? i dont know where it came from, i dont know where it went, and who fucking knows, maybe it was called the rms cotton eyed joe.

yeah so weve got a theory riddled with problems and im just gonna introduce some more problems with this theory as gardiner has also alleged that:

the original plan was to open the seacocks and slowly flood the ship, but this was interrupted by titanic hitting another ship

1) titanic didnt have seacocks? and 2) was the rest of it a coincidence then? i think its meant to be a coincidence.

i believe his theory is alleging that the crew on titanic would open the seacocks that didnt exist to flood the ship slowly, and that the imm rescue ship that also didnt exist was in the area in advance to help evacuate passengers, alongside other ships such as the ss californian.

this is that ship that was like 10 miles away or something and didnt respond to titanics distress signals. according to gardiner, they were expecting a rendezvous with titanic according to the "original plan", but never received it.

instead, they saw the rockets of the fabled imm rescue ship and helped them instead.

this is fucking stupid.

i cant be charitable here, its a fucking stupid theory. i mean, that imm ship did not exist, and also californian is a ridiculous choice for a rescue ship. her capacity was 47 passengers and 55 crew; there were more than 2200 people on board titanic.

to counteract this argument, gardiner alleges carpathia was also in on the scheme as a rescue ship. she, at least, had capacity for the passengers, but theres also several problems with this too.

for one, it was fucking 50 miles away and famously arrived several hours after the sinking even though the captain had her running at top speed to get there.

for two, carpathia was owned by cunard, white stars rival. was their rival line in on the insurance scam??? how much money did they have to pay cunard for this????? why? just why?

do you understand why i dont believe it? please tell me you understand. i need you to understand. i need you to tell me that you understand that the guy who created this conspiracy claimed titanic didnt hit an iceberg.

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