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class-1b-bull · 8 months

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What do you hc for class 1b's backstories? Also this blog is literally giving me a supply of 1b crumbs and I thank thee 🛐

Thank you so much <3

Not proofread we die like men

Awase - he grew up in a small town that was 90% men. Probably fisherman. Also I think he has an older sister that he calls a bitch all the time but he would die for her. Pretty basic past.

Sen - ya know those basic ass dudes that get 20+ love letters a day. That was him in middle school. Other than that he had a normal past with a normal family (including his 'annoying' little siblings that think hes the coolest person alive <3)

Kamakiri - hes either an only child or the oldest of like 12 kids. He always had to take care if his younger siblings since his parents stayed at work all the time

Kuroiro - he was the only goth in a small ass town. Everywhere he walked old ass farmers would judge him for the way he dressed but now that hes at UA with a few other goths he doesn't care about being judged as much (bro is forklift certified btw)

Kendo - she had a very supportive family and was always praised for her good deeds which made her want to become a hero. Nothing to exciting shes pretty much always been surrounded by love and affection.

Kodai - other than maybe being teased when she was younger for being so quiet shes always been the same as she is now. Normal family and home life lol. I do like to think he family is loud asf tho (not like always yelling but they just have booming voices yk)

Komori - she was probably an only child. And while she was more popular in school than some she preferred to stay home with her parents or walk around in the woods to find mushrooms

Shiozaki - she definitely went to some christian private school her whole life and was probably really sheltered so thats why I think she would be a little akward when meeting new people

Shishida - lives with his rich ass grandma. Idk what happened to his parents but they aint in the picture so he was raised by this sweet little old lady instead and it shows

Shoda - idk why but I think he was raised by one of those hella social single moms. She always went out to partys and had friends over. Having so many new people around him all the time scared little him ngl

Pony - we all know most of her life she lived in America (i think California) so she spent a lot of her life by the ocean. She probably knows how to surf lol. Other than that tho she has a little brother and her parents that lived with her til she transferred to japan

Tsubaraba - his past is 50/50. Either he had a normal life with loving parents in a stable home up til UA or it was fucked up. No in-between (Ya know how class clowns almost always have fucked home lives.)

Tetsutetsu - bros biggest problem in life is having a hot mom. Hes an only child raised by a single mom and though most of his life is normal he cant have friends over because they just talk about how strong his mom is lmao. (She works out often and is the reason tetsu wants to be so strong)

Tokage - if she does have siblings its 2 older brothers and she was raised by her dad after her mom died when she was too young to even remember her. She doesn't mind not having a mom because her 2 older brothers gladly fill in that role for her lmao

Manga - yk how the mha universe is biased against people with mutation quirks. I think mangas birth parents put him up for adoption after seeing his quirk but in less than a year he was adopted by two artists after they saw his love for art <3 he had a normal and happy life since (this is also why his main goal is to make all the kids in the world smile)

Honenuki - Honestly he had an alcoholic single mom or something. She would always come home tired and with bad headaches so thats why hes so good at most house tasks (cooking, massages, cleaning, ect.) Kinda neglected so he matured earlier than he shouldve but he still loves his mom

Bondo - he was adopted by lesbian moms and they raised him to be the gentlemanly giant he is today. He loves his parents so much for how they raised him. His past is pretty normal and the only reason he was put up for adoption was because his birth mom not being financially stable enough or something of the sort. (She does visit him every so often tho)

Monoma - we already know he was bullied for his quirk most of his life but did you know he also lets you save 15% or more on car insurance? (Idk what to put here we already know his past rip)

Reiko - her parents divorced when she was around 8 and her dad won custody of her and she honestly couldn't be happier. Her dad looks cool asf but hes nice as hell to anyone and everyone. He also loves spooky stories and is the main reason reiko loves spooky things. Pretty normal past other than having a cool ass dad.

Rin - he transferred to Japan for two reasons. To go to UA and to get away from his parents. Dont get me wrong his parents were good people but they were kinda disappointed when rin said he wanted to be a hero. That disapproval only made him more determined to prove them wrong tho.

(More on koseis in tomorrows post)

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cousticks · 7 months

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when you get down to it the big major point, if you take anything away from bsd, is that human connection is essential.

you could friendship-is-magic this concept into something ridiculous but really time and time again it really is the people that can learn to rely on others and be relied on in return that come out successful.

look at how much better dazai is doing in the ada surrounded by so many people who will offer him the time of day and will depend on him to show up where it counts (even if he skirts on his paperwork). look how much worse beast!dazai was doing in comparison.

look at chuuya and how much more confident he is as he grows into his role as a mafia executive and can expect things to go a little both ways, instead of the sheep being fully reliant on him while he acts as a lone operative. look at chuuya, who had people working with him, defeating verlaine in the end despite the huge power difference, when verlaine had only ever been able to act alone after rimbaud. i could go more into how stormbringer and 15 both support my point but this is long enough

look at fitzgerald losing after disregarding everyone in his organization he should have been working with while the organizations within yokohama come together to save it

i don't think i can find it again, but i saw someone make a post regarding the last episode of season 5 and how fyodor ultimately lost because he treated all bonds as shallow and couldn't comprehend that people would act in unplanned ways for the sakes of others. (whoever wrote that post you're so right methinks)

but here's the part i really think is important: not all of these people that work together are necessarily friends. sometimes you're not at the level of friendship yet. its all the human connection, its all the common goal of staying alive. what's the first thing beast!sskk bonded over when they met in the coffee shop? stories of staying alive in the streets/orphanage. its both this commonality and this drive that was able to bring them together for a moment.

this is kind of incoherent and long, so if i could sum it up a little. blah blah blah pretentious bullshit bsd beautifully tells the age-old tale of existing being easier when you let others in. but it does it gently. it does it in steps. you don't have to fully open to others all out at once, that's a lot. you just have to be willing to try a little to make life a little easier for yourself. its all in the human connection the cure to the human condition is connection.

that or its just an animanga series where dudes with powers beat each other up and fight monsters and look cool idk =/

#bsd #bungo stray dogs #ensemble #thinking real hard about bungo this fine evening #i think we all knew this but i wanted to ramble about it anyway

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silverefflux · 2 years

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Theory: Chamber and Neon’s “Misunderstanding”

Another theory: Chamber and Neon’s misunderstanding is pretty personal *wink wink*

Sorry this feels so shallow but my guess is she thought he was going for the more-than-friends route, but it was all part of his schemes.

Neon has some major electrical powers plus involvement with Kingdom/radiants because of the parents’ work (looking at her dossier), so she likely was of some value to Chamber’s plans

I’d be hella broken too as a 19 (18?)-year-old if some charming guy was pouring attention and talking to me the way he does only to find out I’m being used for some selfish business-y goal. That is–if it is true that Neon was 19 when she got into the VP.

Chamber describing her to Reyna as an “impressionable young mind”. This himbo knew what he was doing.

From a fellow Asian girl, yeeeee the parents often want us to be pretty sheltered lmao I wouldn’t know better than to stay away from this dude

Also saw this Tumblr post somewhere saying Neon’s family would probably tease her whenever Chamber drops by AND I BELIEVE IT’S CANON

“OI TALA YUNG BOYFRIEND MO ANDITO” and all that stuff. I’d be annoyed into believing maybe there is a shot if she were me HAHAHA

Chamber’s voicemail to Brim: “Appeal to her sense of service, she gets that from her family.”

EXCUSE ME MONSIEUR—how do you know she gets it from her family?? That’s pretty personal. And the way he says it in the voicemail, idk if I’m digging into it too much but omg the way his tone just falters and his little pause after (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhMd7i2Zu8k)

Not Chamber being scared to fetch her in Manila during her recruitment lolololol

No Chamber-Neon voice interactions (except for that line where she tells him to leave her out of his schemes)? Not even during the whole strike team with Fade thing? Damn, y’all rly ain’t on speaking terms?

Cuz yeah I don’t think she wants any of Chamber’s BS after all that

Neon when killing an enemy Chamber: “Bye Monsieur!” —You can’t tell me that doesn’t have “boy, bye” energy

[PHOTO NOT MINE] Not me fangirling either aaaa who made this??? But lol if I were Chamber and I saw a girl with mad powers looking like Neon in the photo like sheeshhhhh, I’d be smooth talking too (Who’s the artist? Pls tell me if you know so I can credit)

#Valorant #valorant headcanons #valorant neon #neon valorant #chamber valorant #valorant chamber #chamber x neon #valorant x reader

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siskiyn · 7 months

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so yeah a couple weeks ago i started playing neopets again after 13+? years. i'm over here making a discount dnd party with names like these. i kinda like it though..... my oc brain is stirring after a long, long time. like i want them to be a crew. the found family trope incarnate. ride-or-die. i have no idea what colors i want these babies to be but i'm MOTIVATED. there are so many new paint brush / colors to consider too, i am actually having a blast over here making goals to reach & learning stuff i never ever bothered with in the past.

(please join me)

ONTO THE PETS + OC BRAINSTORMING

MALFEEN thinking wraith for Malfeen, first. he's becoming my battledome pet! something badass and/or eternal looking. that's all really. eventide zafara could be ok too with some customization. he look a little too unimposing with those eyes. something about wraith though OOH i want one.

VHAMPIRR Vhampirr has GOT to change species and color, grundos gotta be the UGLIEST mfers out in neopia i'm sorry. Vhamp's gonna be the leader because i rescued him from the pound first and ngl it was exciting. teenaged sisk never found anything good while pound surfing. now i don't even know how many painted pets i've seen in there. the satisfaction is astronomical.

anyways i don't wanna be too derivative with a name like Vhampirr but then again cringe is dead, he could be some cool undead mfer. i'm thinking darigan? (once a darigan fan always a darigan fan.) there are many good species options something about darigan xweetok makes me wanna punch it (lovingly). he looks like he'd make fun of you and be camp as hell. he looks like he gets a new piecing every time he's depressed because he finds it quite bracing and rejuvenating, actually.

OAXUN Oaxun is the only pet i made from scratch, in homage to an old pet from an old account (rip). the rest are pound finds. at first i was thinking making her into a little baby eyrie. babygirl of the party who everyone dotes on, receives the chaotic parenting of the whole gang. but man i love eyries a lot & with a name like Oaxun i feel like a material color like maractite, water or relic would be soo fitting. i'm less and less attached to baby the longer i think on it tbh.

GRIMSVONTE literally just adopted this dude tonight. idk if i'll keep him but i think royalboy or something fancy like that would match the name. he could be that escort mission tag-along that you absolutely suffer through. Grimsvonte hahaha... royalboy gelert got me fucked up with the bowl cut hair. it's giving trust fund kid, Grimsvonte the 3rd... it's giving "mother father i'm off on a harrowing adventure don't look for me". idk it could be comedy gold!!

not many of the royals appeal to me although royalboy peophin is kinda hot? Hot Middle-aged Grimsvonte?? no i'm not accepting comments. just think about it.

& that's it!!! well i have a baby kougra pound rescue but *covers his ears* i don't really like him or his ugly ass name. i think i'm overly attached to baby neopets due to Nostalgia only. they're relatively cheap to get too. i don't know! can you feel the vibe of this group so far? the vision?? if i do get a baby neopet it'll prolly be a more thoughtful addition. maybe one of the above will magically turn into a single parent. like, say... baby peophin for daddy Grimsvonte? (i know you agree. you agree with me right. look at them together.)

#neopets #*crying* why was this so fun #cringe is so dead #sisk's neopets adventures

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6of575 · 2 days

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my goal is to try and make at least a post a day on here, even if its nothin very interesting to anybody else

i feel like,,, if i can finally successfully make it a habit to post and engage, it might just trick my brain from task avoidance

so! post done and heres the part for me thats fun:

(under a cut since its ramblin long)

the books im currently reading concurrently are some conlang construct books mr am got me that have been on my wishlist for ages, along with a very cool book about black holes and theories surrounding them, which mr am loaned to me from his collection

one of the things we share is a love of science and space, and more specifically, stars and time travel and all the things about our known universe that black holes straight up break

i have a lot of fun chatting with him; i really cant overstate the value of a friend so genuine, who i am never too much of, and i can talk about all my interests without the reflexive dread creeping on in

all that bullshit i learned growing up, yanno the kind: "im boring, im dumb, who could possibly enjoy swapping rock facts, much less listen to hours of it even when it our interests DONT align"

like, theres so much else about my friendship with him thats meaningful, but thats top tier right there

and lately? ive gotten a few others in my corner, who when i share, im starting to feel like that with them, too

its so weird! to have gone from one person to a tiny community of folks (and i mean little! its like,, five? six? of us max usually) that thrive on a love of the weird and the cringe and the stubborn hope

plenny others have waxed more eloquent than me about this sorta thing--how fandom spaces come sorta pre-fab with common, shared interests that its fans bring, and they build their fort and theres rules already laid out, and it becomes a second (sometimes first) home, of sorts

but when its starting from scratch, when its about stuff and is made by people that others just wouldnt ordinarily invest in or look at without outside prompting, thats not the same! its not a bad thing, more neutral, but its stressful, its really such a lonely feeling

except--when you finally find it, that person, and thats a community of its own, and it can grow, and suddenly you swappin stories, throwing jokes! and memes and links and hey inevitably, theres also those what ifs about your little guys

and everything is srs and sacred and everything is hilarious and "i cant believe this is real life" levels of stupid

you get to learn habits and quirks and whole personalities

"hey this reminded me of you" "hey, check out this view" "oh, thats right, yer the possum dude" "you love medieval lore--and i read this, and what do you think about it, too"

its suddenly kind of a fandom space after all, and its like, still work of course, reaching for and keeping more and being a person with, it aint that neat or pretty

but its got warmth and joy and expansion, after a lifetime of making yourself small enough to try and fit

you end up fans of your friends, fans of their life, hyping each other up and up and up about the most mundane shit and it starts to look like not even the skys the limit

planning things to do together, spending long hours into the night to parallel play with vidgames or watchin movies like time aint nothin thisll last forever, right? (it doesnt, always, but thats also part of this, and the ones that stay, the ones that work with you

those are the ones waking up to backread your chats like its the morning newspaper

and your life matters

like its better than the best hot goss, its saturday morning cartoons and their favour ice cream flavours

only now we adults and its also commiseratin over breakups and bills, and cross-country moves, and its celebrating that i saw chickens in the yard today and you finally got your boygirlthemsomethin gender fuckery juice)

idk idk idk

i feel some kinda way about all that

i never thought id make it so far that im nearly forty

never thought id get to ask "okay, well, now what? what do i wanna do, and try, and be?"

im... starting small i think, and im for reals happy, happier than i have been in years; i learned how to be alla my friends biggest fans, and im starting to finally believe

other people can feel that way about me

i just really think thats kinda neat

#6oftext #hexfold glories: transparent stories

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wastemanjohn · 10 months

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happy ww dude!!! do you think there are any kinks that dean had with john that he doesn't have with same, and do you think there are any that he discovered that he JUST has with sam>

Happy WW Rae! Or indeed nearly next Wednesday now!

Woof what a question.

So I think that John actually enjoys sex a lot, when he's in the right headspace at least - I think hes very much Dean's father in that respect. However at the same time, like many people, I tend to err on the side of John being nauseatingly vanilla. Like, the goal is getting off. I think John's idea of adventurous is fucking on the floor. He's maybe even a little prudish? Idk incest aside obviously but I think he might literally faint if Dean asked him to piss in his mouth or something. I think he maybe doesn't understand the point of most kinky things, and is quite surprised/unnerved the more he learns about Dean's (canonical, which is a gift) proclivities. I think, purely because Dean's hot when he's all turned on, he'd indulge Dean with some pretty low key stuff - a bit of spanking, maybe tying him up a little - but ultimately he finds it all a bit daunting, or even just kinda pointless, and doesn't really vibe with it. I can see him very much being a "but what does [kink/fetish] have to do with sex?" type person lol.

Apart from one thing. I think Dean owns panties. I think he gets off on the simple fact of owning them, and keeps them very hidden. I don't think he admits that particular kink to John out of embarrassment, but... say John comes home earlier than planned once and catches Dean spread out on a motel bed, naked aside from a silky red thong, happily jerking off for a while before he realises John is standing in the doorway gawping... I lean towards this flipping all kinds of fucked up switches in John's brain. We could get deep about the emotional incest that may have led them here or we could all just agree that John pushing those panties aside, rolling Dean over and fucking him senseless in them while role-playing husband and wife is really hot. And probably something they'd struggle to stop revisiting afterwards because they'd get off on it so so much.

So yeah, needless to say, even if Sam thinks it's the hottest thing in the world Dean would never be putting on panties for Sam. He was Daddy's pretty baby girl. He's never going to be anyone else's.

As for Sam... while I don't see Sam as 100% vanilla (we've all seen that primal MF in action) I do wonder if he'd have a harder time indulging Dean's more masochistic/subby kinks even if he wanted to because of his fear of being evil. (Early seasons at least). Like he's scared that if he gets off on hurting or dominating Dean what that might say about him... so idk if they'd avoid doing anything too out there for that reason. Although after they've been to hell I'd imagine they'd both develop some pretty nasty and gory kinks lol, whether they liked it or not. Stuff they probably couldn't do to each other without one of them getting killed shall we say but they could definitely get off on some very warped fantasies together... indulge each other in that because literally nobody else they sleep with could ever understand why they might have developed a taste for disembowelment or something. John would be turning in his grave if he knew what s11/12 Sam and Dean's dirty talk consisted of. And the boys probably laugh about it.

#asks #Wincest Wednesday

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collegeoflore · 5 months

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i am still figuring out what pre-epilogue looks like for xarrai and astarion (xar is doing Badly in the immediate aftermath of the netherbrain fight and idk how long it takes them to become like. a human person again) but i can’t imagine it’s anything less than joyful chaos for most of those 6 months. here are two dudes with questionable morals experiencing true joy and freedom and love for the first time ever they are ABSOLUTELY getting into trouble. curing astarion’s vampirism is like, a background goal sure but i think a lot of their time is spent committing theft and narrowly avoiding having to murder the witnesses or, like, chasing down interesting rumors to see where they lead. a lot of bouncing from small town to small town where xarrai charms an entire tavern for an evening and astarion makes sure the wealthiest patrons leave with their purses a little lighter. (and/or the two of them competing to see who can pickpocket the most gold after xarrai’s set lol) they’re not BAD guys but when they call themselves “heroes” it’s in quotation marks. it’s a joke. they’re less concerned with being heroes and more concerned with being lovers tbqh. maybe sometimes they see someone in trouble and xarrai gives astarion a little look and he rolls his eyes and huffs but he comes with when xarrai goes to help them. and stands by like :3c while xar extorts them afterwards (they will never resist a bit of extortion for better or for worse.) but like. real, honest to god heroes? probably not. they’re too busy making out in dirty alleyways and exchanging stolen gifts and learning what it means to be free and happy and in love to be heroes.

i think post-epilogue (maybe a couple years down the line) they do get more serious about finding a cure for vampirism but like. immediately between the end of the game and the epilogue they r just fucking around tbqh

#i do have thoughts about them eventually coming back to baldur’s gate #and demolishing cazador’s palace to build a home there for themselves #and maybe donating the land they don’t use to alfira’s bard college #where xarrai ends up teaching far more often than he ever wanted to LOL #but that’s way in the future. possibly not until after they find a cure? assuming they do i honestly. don’t know how i want that to work out #for them #漫言 #r. hold me like a knife #oc. xarrai

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mothfishing · 1 year

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radi our friend radi

miss radiance...

favorite thing about them

i just think the most about characters and factions who existed on hallownest's fringes, and the radiance is the ultimate example of that. and she's just a character who we see very little of, and not for no reason! so you have to piece together a lot of shreds of information to get an idea of the kind of person she was...

like for one i think the fact the moths are peaceful as a rule is something that would make sense if it reflected on her? ive seen people refer to her as a war god and that's like. okay then explain to me why a war god would create people who aren't known for carrying weapons...and i spoke about it in the seer ask, but her being associated with death and funerals and ghosts is also something that makes sense to me. basically i think it's interesting that she's a character who exists almost entirely by implication, who you have to go to a decent amount of effort to figure out anything about her

least favorite thing about them

no one in the world has ever been normal about her (SAD)

trying to figure out how to put this...are you really gonna tell me there's nothing at all fishy about the pale king coming to hallownest, sealing the radiance away so he could rule without equal (this is stated explicitly in a dev note...), having the goal of ruling over the entirety of hallownest unopposed, and having bad relationships with every single other faction that didn't bow to hallownest rule...? like there's nothing weird going on there at all? the mantis tribe's treaty explicitly stated that it was something they agreed to to protect their village from hallownest expansion. like are you telling me he's not a colonizer and imperialist,

idk it gives me a weird bad vibe. like very genuinely the impression i had after doing dream no more (& again, i played hk totally blind save for knowing ghost & hornet were siblings) was like. "huh? so the radiance and the moths got subjugated by some dude But Actually taking revenge for that is so much worse and we have to put her down now you guys:((((((("

and i literally thought that was unfair and i was probably misunderstanding, which i note to say i really am not approaching this in bad faith and this isn't a square reading i'm trying to force into a round hole. the reason i stopped doubting it was because i spoke to multiple friends who saw the same thing without my input =/

it makes it so i just can't dislike her. and it's pretty disappointing how fan reaction to her is primarily to either demonize her and attribute bad things to her that we either don't have evidence for or we have evidence that contradicts it, or they bring in real world struggle in a way i find wildly disrespectful & fetishistic. we are in a nightmare world basically

favorite line

she isn't really a character with dialogue, so instead i'll talk about a piece of the seer's dialogue which gives me Thoughts about the radiance. even though i already talked about it in the seer ask. which is months ago at this point so whatever i guess

What a terrible fate they've visited upon you.

To cast you away into this space between body and soul.

Will you accept their judgement and fade slowly away?

Or will you take the weapon before you, and cut your way out of this sad, forgotten dream?

i just think it's so interesting! it's difficult for me to think the seer isn't drawing a parallel between ghost's situation and what happened to the radiance...this is not the first time ghost has been judged unworthy of life; if they were a good child, they would have died all that time ago, another body lining the abyss

the dreamers have condemned them to the same fate. there's no way to escape the dream; without the seer's aid, all they can do is, as she puts it, fade slowly away. and what for? yet another sacrifice extracted from them for the sake of this dead kingdom. by this point it isn't possible to do anything the dreamers fear - they need the dreamnail for that. they are condemned because they are inconvenient

and, well, the radiance was also put in that position...a lot of the game is about death and accepting that things will end, and the core arrogance of hallownest is repeatedly framed as the pale king declaring it would last forever. it's what vespa says the bees will have no part in, and there's ozymandius signs all over the damn place. so at least personally i find it significant that the radiance is repeatedly associated with the dead and the remembrance of the dead, her sacred place being a graveyard and her last follower being its groundskeeper, and she's also the one who pk needed to get rid of in order to make his eternal kingdom possible.

but accepting that things end is not the same as lying down and dying just because someone wants you out of the way for their own gain...which is exactly what the pale king wanted for both of them

brOTP

for a literal "bro" i actually see grimm as her brother who she's on fairly good terms with. idk, just never thought there was any particular reason for them to be at odds, and my own read of grimm's actions and the ritual was that he's enacting some kind of belated vengeance against hallownest for what happened to the radiance. by his nature, he could never have arrived "on time", but desecrating a corpse is well within his abilities.

nOTP

all of them. my god

random headcanon

the whole "erasing her memory" thing was referred to as a seal in a developer's note. it's even referred to as a prior attempt before the hollow knight plan - "Thus the first attempt to seal Radiance failed, and the King had to try another method - the Vessel."

i really can't think of her as not being a death god; it's just the impression i get from both her explicit connection to dreams, and how the dreaming and the dead are so tightly linked. the dream nail shows you both, after all, and the ghosts you fight are dream warriors. also, a place important to the moths, and presumably to her as well, is a literal graveyard. and that adds another dimension - it is specifically important to her that the dead be remembered and honored.

she has no physical form, which is funny because every other god we know of does. the pale king, the white lady, unn, grimm, even the lifeblood creature...grimm and unn both have some connection to dreams as well, so it isn't like that precludes you from possessing a physical form.

so...well...i keep thinking about that first seal, and that attempt to erase her memory. did it involve killing her? is there a corpse somewhere, long forgotten in an unmarked grave? to one such as her, what greater insult could there be?

unpopular opinion

man. i have so many.

first is that i think it's honestly kinda gross to say that the pale king and the radiance were equally at fault for what happened - one of them's a fuckin colonizer who goes around trying to absorb every group in the area into his kingdom, and the other is the god of one of those groups. they are not on equal terms here...

i also think it's gross to make her worse for the purpose of making whoever your fave is - often grimm or the pale king - Better. like she needs to be the worst most evil sister so grimm can get some pathos, she needs to be the most violent beast so the pale king can get some pathos, etc.

i could go on but i would literally never stop.

song i associate with them

toothsmile by bent knee is such a radiance song to me...

favorite picture of them

this art

#devourerofjourneys #asks #this ask is from MAY!!!!!!!!!

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st4rving4rt1st · 9 months

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Love actually being upset after a friend gets aggressively anti-character like calm down jfc

Did I agree with Caleb letting Trent live? No.

Do ppl joke that him and Beau became cops? Yeah.

Does Caleb making Trent rot in a cell unable to speak or use magic alone make him a nazi sympathizer? N O.

Little personal opinion below

I was already taken back by the sudden anger so I was kinda uneasy mentioning that hey, Caleb's whole goal end game is to dismantle the Assembly and reform the entire system so that his home doesn't have to go through a violent revolution. He actively becomes a teacher in the very place that hurt him so he can protect students and also instill ethics and empathy into future students. The Cobalt Soul's entire thing is rooting out corruption???

Like my god dude pls calm down

A character stepping into the pit of vipers to try and dismantle the tangled knot of abuse that hurt them does not make them vipers themselves.

Idk I'm pretty dumb for being hurt by it but it just came off as "This is what I think of this character and if you like them or defend this action you are also a nazi" and idk if that's how they wanted it to come off? But it did.

Anyways I love Caleb Widogast, his story is very important to me, and even if I agree that taking the life of his abuser would have been more satisfying I also understand and respect the decision made and find it incredibly brave to go back into the very institute that took everything from you just to try and dismantle it and then build it back up with something better and safer.

#like his whole character is about destroying the very root of the fantasy nazi shit #bc just chopping off the top of a weed doesnt actually stop it from growing #so he kept the weed intact and instead focused on uprooting it entirely #caleb widogast #personal #dnd rant #also this friend doesnt even watch cr so why are they so angry???? dkdkoskw #make it make sense #this is why i fucking mask bc ppl are unpredictable and it sucks!!#why be known when i can just stay hidden in my little box and present as someone else lol #yes im in therapy im working on it

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egg-emperor · 2 years

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Dunno if you’ve talked about this, but which iteration of eggman was your favorite?

Personally I really liked both Satam eggman and adventure eggman. They both seem like genuine threats who could destroy the entire world,

I like SATam due to how terrifying he was to me as a kid. He took over the world, he’s already made the bad end, and he’s not afraid to kill if he really needs too. Also I hold onto this version of eggman for the nostalgia

I just like adventure a little more cuz they somehow made eggman feel more human during the arc, and I think it helps make him more… terrifying in my opinion cuz he isn’t just some crazy dude, he’s a dude with aspirations and ideals, he’s had a life and feels closer then any villain who feels so far away. Eggman isn’t just eggman, he’s human. And the idea that a human could be like him is horrifying, because we are just so close to them biologically enough that we feel disturbed.

Idk I like thinking about stuff like that hehehehehe-

Oh geez this ask is long lmao.

I have a very simple answer, for me it's game canon Eggman in his entirety, classic and modern, before anything else. Just every game because he's consistent and is the better part of the writing in some games because of it. I'm very lucky to have him as my favorite. They've always known exactly who they want him to be, what he wants to do, and how they want to present him and do it well and find ways to put him in many fun interesting situations while staying true to it. He's the perfect character for both darker and serious and more light hearted funny moments and stories and when both sides are balanced, it's even better.

I do agree that the Adventure games are a highlight for his character with the amount of focus on the great evil he's capable of, his sly cunning ability, and how he's a serious threat in ways nobody can deny but I love all of him before and after too. He's consistently evil and a great threat, regardless of the amount of focus on it and the humor, though it seems he could do with more because people try to deny he's still as evil as he used to be. But I do love how he can be funny too and how it can emphasize and add impact to the great evil he's capable of because he reminds you he's not a joke, he's still a very serious threat.

That's something I love too, how he's human. He's a unique looking cartoony one that's extremely intelligent and capable of amazing out of this world things, but human. I love how he isn't a cyborg/robot/etc, doesn't look generically evil, and has human feelings and passions. You don't have to be nice and empathic to be "human" and I don't know why people think so. He already is just by species lol and if we're talking characterization, he has moments of depth and personal insight without changing his entire being because personality wise, he's already an accurate narcissistic evil bastard.

He's a great representation of how humans can indeed be very evil, selfish, and capable of very terrible things. Eggman has done very evil things that make him a monster but there are also aspects that remind us he's still human just like us, like how he's very passionate about things he enjoys and has dreams and goals he wishes to accomplish, also his determination and confidence to work hard and fight for what he wants. But while those things can be done in harmless and innocent ways, Eggman is deeply selfish and evil and wants to accomplish it through doing terrible things, which isn't unrealistic.

Humans can be monsters and do terrible things and in many ways, he reflects that well in realistic ways, while also being able to go beyond what's possible in real life in fiction, so he can do even more. He can be relatable in terms of species and certain aspects of his interests/hobbies, hopes and dreams, and emotions but he's also capable of terrible things that only the worst people comparable to monsters could want to do, not just without a care or remorse but even enjoying it at times. And both sides are realistic regardless of personal relatability of the audience and that makes him all the more terrifying.

I love thinking about it too, it's a part of what makes him so interesting. He's earned the title of monster with all the worst things he's done but it doesn't revoke his humanity, it is realistic, and it adds impact. It's fantastic! That's why being 100% human, regardless of his differences and his evil, which other people can also really be like even if we don't personally relate, is very appealing over being nonhuman. And instead of the idea that because he's human he must have empathy and goodness (which isn't even true for everyone irl), the way he's human like us and reminds us we're capable of horrible things is gloriously messed up and exciting to me. XD 💜

#asks #opinion #dr eggman #eggman #dr robotnik #dr. eggman #my post

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gingersnapandgonzap · 1 year

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you mentioned “taking a hike is up there” for training so i presume you have your top 5? 10? list of training methods?

not even sure if a top five is there but i do have some preferred methods

back when i was super into it i found core exercises to be the absolute best method to get your guys fighting fit. maybe not the most fun unless you do it with friends or a lot of pokemon but i used to get gonzap to do crunches from a pull up bar we had in our backyard and it got him buff quick. i also used to put weights on around his ankles while setting him up on the bar and he seemed to really like how they changed his balance. idk if you can picture a skarmory hanging from a metal rod by his neck and doing crunches but he was awesome at it

now my favorite method is probably the simplest and that’s doing some yoga. ginger LOVES yoga time and it’s fun for me too. you just need a floor and a blanket and you’re off to the races. yoga is good not only for your core but your flexibility in general and also just is relaxing? i get out the mat and he starts squealing with excitement it’s so adorable and he’s such a good little sport!! just make sure you stretch before and after and you’re golden. not as fast, but still worthwhile and very enjoyable, plus super easy

another good one is just going on a plain old walk or jog with your guys. it’s dirt easy, free, and you’re outside having some time to yourself. downside is you’re not really building much if any muscle and would probably need something like weight lifting or other stuff to build more short muscle. but hey, if you’re starting out and don’t know what your training goals are yet going on a jog every morning is great. if you really wanna build some endurance, then i’d say hiking is a good option. the rougher the ground the better, though i know not everyone has an entire mountain behind their house so it’s not a perfect routine

and then just some other little tips:

-vitamins are ok, but don’t rely on them for everything. the best type of training is the stuff you do yourself and i’ve generally not found the same kind of success as manual training. they’re also expensive so there’s that

-i don’t have experience flying with gonzap but if you want a strong flier weight training might be your way to go. just make sure to gradually go up as your pokemon gets used to lifting weight so you don’t strain something cus lemme tell you a birds wing muscles take a hot second to heal

-work with your pokemon. do your own little workout along with them and you’ll find it’s both more fun and more rewarding cus hey you’re getting fit too. oh and pay attention to how your guy responds to various types of exercise. do they enjoy doing cardio like running or swimming? are flexibility exercises just not enough for them and they need something more? i never would’ve known ginger loved yoga so much if my mom didn’t suggest it after the core routine i did with gonzap didn’t seem to be doing it for the little dude

-try new stuff and learn. like if you’ve never tried pilates before and think they’re weird maybe just test them out at the end of your usual workout. yes you are going to suck at something you’ve never done before. yes that’s okay. i’d test stuff this way for about a week and see where we’re at. if you feel like they might be for you, like you’re working a muscle you just couldn’t quite get to with your previous routine, id say go for it. practice makes perfect

#pokemedia #pokemon irl #ivys training tips #ic post

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vannrichmond-archive · 2 years

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when → june 2022 (idk day man) where → some shitty expo center the next town over

He wasn’t sure how almost all of the major events of his life had ended up like this, a hold my beer, and watch this sort of moment, and yet they all were. It wasn’t even that anyone had dared him. He couldn’t even place the situation that got him here, but he had a used wither strap and a used pair of chaps he’d gotten from a pawn shop and he was leaning on the fence watching the team ropers rope, psyching himself up. A little three event special jackpot, team roping bull riding and bareback broncs. Baseball cap on instead of what he’d usually wear, pulled down a little too low so no one could catch a look at his face. He might have been out of this life for a minute, but god was he familiar with it.

About an hour passed with him watching the slack in the roping before he had enough grit built up to go to the office. The woman in the box was pleasant as ever, “what can I do ya for?” She asked and Vann smiled, “Bareback jackpot?” He questioned, feeling like he was going to be found out, but she was none the wiser and nodded jotting down a number on the entry form and giving it to him, “name?” She asked, “Chris Watson.” He said easily and she believed him just as easy as the words came out of his mouth. He gave her the money, $75 dollars for this particular event, and she gave him a back number. Vann smiled at her and went his way. His lie worked and he was feeling more confident, the dust in his air from the event settling in his lungs, and while that should have made him uncomfortable, it was comforting. Calf ropers went longer than usual, which meant, he had time to just exist. Exist in an environment, as a contestant that he’d forgotten fueled his soul as much as it did, but when you did what he did, and completely check out of life, you sort of forgot all the things that made you you, and this was one of those things for him.

“Chris?” Someone asked, but Vann wasn’t paying attention until the guy was right in his face and only then did it register, “new guy pulls first.” He said, and Vann nodded, “that’s fine.” He said following him to chute where the guy with the hat was. He didn’t care if he pulled first, he didn’t care if he got the rankest horse there. After all, his motto had always been, ‘no one remembers an 80-point ride.’ And for the most part, that was all he cared about. Now, maybe not so much, this was supposed to be a confidence boost, to see if he was still Velcro like he used to be. But hand in the hat, he swirled the papers around a bit before grabbing out one, number 7. “Ooo dude, sorry about that. That’s a hard first one.” Vann sighed, putting on the show, “hopefully it’ll be fine.” He said with a smile and a laugh “maybe tell ‘em to say a little prayer for me.” He said before walking off to find the seven horse. It wasn’t long on the catwalk above the holding pens before he found the horse standing in pen 7. Preacher 287. A weight was lifted from the man’s body. He’d ridden this one before, even if no one here knew that, he did. He did and he’d marked a 91 on it. He couldn’t of asked for a better horse to come back on. Was he hard yes, but did Vann know how he liked to explode out of the chute? Yes. Did he know how the horse liked to jump? Also, yes. This one was as push button for him as it got when it came to broncs.

Back in the dressing room, he was working the pawn shop chaps. They weren’t custom fit to his legs like his others had been, and they weren’t good quality leather like his others had been, but that wasn’t really the vibe he was going for right now. He just didn’t want his thighs to be fucked like the would be without them. They were tight in some places, loose in others but they would work. Spurs strapped to his boots, a second-hand chest protector and a baseball cap. He looked like someone that was new, and that was the goal.

It wasn’t twenty minutes later and he was back on the back of the chutes, cutting up, waiting for his turn. It felt like time was going in slow motion. First ride went, a year of time passed, the second ride passed, another year, so and on so forth before it was inevitably his turn. It was with laser focus that he watched the ground team tie his used wither strap to the horse. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust them, it was just that he had to watch. A second later, he was standing on the top bar of the chute, trying to remember the last time he did this. The last he’d done this it didn’t end well. But the thought didn’t last too long because he was lowering himself onto the horse, and unlike the other one, this one stayed down. That was a plus. So he started going through the routine. His gloved hand running down the rope, making it a little stickier only to wrap it around his hand in the handle. Vann scooted up until he was almost sitting on his hand. He then laid back, right hand in the air. Everything around him went silent. His thoughts, the noise of the crowd, nothing. He could have heard a pin drop in the moment between him laying back and giving the gate man the nod.

Preacher 287 exploded as Vann had expected him too. Every muscle in his tightened as the horse leaped out from under him, but his body stayed put, like it was back on the bicycle. The horse went left, his body went left, the horse went right, his body went right. With every kick up of the horse’s flank his back curved up and slammed back down as it always did, his neck getting the brunt of the load, but before he could even think about how to change that, the buzzer went off, and there was a flash of release over his body as his fingers opened and let go of the rope, doing a tuck and roll as he tried to avoid hooves. But it was successful as he popped up, hands going up as they did when he knew he had a successful ride. The rush coming back as he ran back to the chutes, jumping in the back as they announcer called his score, “and pulling into the lead with the high score of the night, Chris Watson with a score of 89.5 points” The crowd could have been deafening, he wouldn’t have noticed.

The high was like no other. Pulling a good ride, riding it well, then being rewarded for it. It was then that he realized just how out of shape he was. It usually didn’t take that much physical energy to get a good ride out, but right now, he was exhausted. Looking at him however, if you didn’t know him you wouldn’t know, and no one here knew who he was. For all they knew, he was a baseball hat wearing fool with gear that didn’t fit. The polar opposite of who he really was. But as soon as he was out of the back, and leaning against the fence watching the rides, letting the high roll through him as it did, This moment would have been the one he called June, or the one she’d be at the back meeting him. However she was who knew where and there was someone else there, leaning on the fence next to him. Like they always did. “Nice ride.” She said, and he nodded, “thanks.” He said casually, “wasn’t as hard as people say it is.” Keeping up the rouse, the girl could only laugh. This was classically how he picked up women. The rush of adrenaline, the high. He was more turned on in these moments than he was in most. But even still, there was something that pulled at him, and told him to not. So he navigated this conversation a little differently. “There’s a party later.” She said, like he was new. Vann knew what happened later, he just—wasn’t ready to partake. Not yet. Maybe next time. “Where at?” He asked. He wasn’t going to bluntly just turn her down, that wasn’t nice, and well, wasn’t his style anyways. She told him the name of the bar, and he said he might be there. He wouldn’t. When he said he might it was always a no, but she didn’t need to know that. She gave him a nod and he did the same as he went back to the office. The bull riding had started which meant the bronc riding was over.

Caught in conversation, he missed the scores of the riders that followed. It wasn’t a lot, broncs didn’t bring the same buzz that bulls did at smaller events, but still a 20 rider field was pretty good. In the office, he gave the lady his number and she smiled at him, “it’s always exciting when the new guy wins his first out.” Vann laughed at that, “hey, we can all get lucky sometimes.” He smiled, genuinely happy, like he hadn’t felt in years. “Eight Hundred and ninety five dollars is the payout for the broncs tonight.” She smiled, “handing him the cash and a buckle.” He looked down at it, and a warm feeling flushed over him. This was nice. He missed this; he missed his entire life. Vann took the hardware and cash from the lady and told her thanks as turned to walk away. Out of the office he had a few guys yelling, “dude come to the afterparty, that was sick.” He nodded, and gave them a wave, this was who he was. He could easily morph back into the life of the party. People liked to be around him, he was magnetic, and to know that that was still true, that hit a different part of him. His usually angry exterior erased for a moment and he was who he used to be. He didn’t have a care in the world, and he was himself.

Back to his truck, he placed the buckle and the money in the console, used chaps and chest protector chunked in the back. He stood in the door, the light from the cab being open illuminating his face as he pulled his phone from his pocket. This was first time in years that he’d felt an urge to call her. Strong enough that if he’d of been drunk he would have done it without a thought. Phone in hand he scrolled to his voicemail, the one she’d left on his birthday and stared at her number for a long time, it was foreign to him. Ten minutes of thoughts, what was the worst she was going to do? Not answer? That’d suck but it’d get the feeling out of his gut. The one that always prompted him to share his life with her. He hadn’t had anything that he thought was good enough to share in ages but this? God, this felt big and like something he wanted to tell her. Thumb almost pressing call, when a different familiar name popped on the caller ID. Trace. A name he hadn’t heard not talked to in months. Vann answered, the timing was just too coincidental.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” Classic man speak.

“Can you tell me something, Vann?” He asked, Vann extremely confused, “yeah? Maybe?” He didn’t know what Trace was on about.

“Vann Christopher.”

There it was. He knew. How the fuck did he know. It’d happened less than an hour ago, and he already knew.

“How?” Vann asked, mildly confused, but not really.

“Picture this.” The man started and Vann rolled his eyes, “I have a bull fighting friend just starting, and does these little jackpot gigs on the side. They’re in the broncs and he’s not really caring, but someone drew Preacher, and that’s always a show so he videos. Turns out the dude is good? But not just good, really good. Thing is, the dude is wearing the ugliest get up he’s ever seen but the new kids never know what’s happening. He sends it to me, thinking he’s just discovered the next big thing, and I watch that video, and guess who the fuck is riding Preacher to an 89?”

“89.5, excuse the fuck out of me.” Vann interrupted.

“Right, 89.5. None other than Chris Watson.” He heard the man snort. It’d been years since he’d heard Trace laugh so hard, he snorted, but Vann let him go. “And I think to myself, thats the dumbest name I have ever heard. So I watch it two more times, and its none other than my friend Vann Christopher, thinkin’ he’s fuckin’ sly. He ain’t sly, he’s a full idiot.”

“I am sly.” He started, “ain’t no one there had a damn clue, I play Chris so good, I shoulda got an Emmy, instead I got 800 bucks and a buckle, but I guess that’s a close second.” He shrugged, ignoring the last name he chose, nothing else came to mind at the time, and if he was going to cling to her one last time this would be it. And it’d be a sweet send off.

“I hate you.” Trace started again.

“Why now?”

“I would have flown across the country to see you ride for the first time in person. I know of at least 20 people, a television network and four brands that would have flown across the country to see you ride again.” At that Vann felt mildly guilty, but Trace continued, “instead you decided to rob all of us of that for a shitty redneck jackpot with people who don’t know who they’re looking at? You should be ashamed.” He could tell the man was upset, but Vann didn’t want that. He didn’t want people watching in case it was bad. What if he was flung off into the fence and died? What If he was stomped on again? What if he never actually got into the chute? It was easier to ride for strangers than it was for a crowd of people who knew who he was. The expectation was too high.

“Yeah, I know, but this was for me, not for all of y’all.” He started, “I can’t even fuckin’ talk about it still. I wasn’t about to have this go that way.” Vann said simply. Because it was. He didn’t care if it robbed other people. This wasn’t about other people; it was about him.

“Well fine.” Trace said in defeat, “I’m proud of Chris, he did a bang-up job. But fuckin’ Preacher needs to be retired if he can ride him to an 89 after three years off, I swear.”

Vann couldn’t help but laugh at that, “89.5″ He corrected again, “but so fuckin’ true. Chris is fat and out of shape.”

The both laughed and said their goodbyes. It was nice, not having to report to someone, someone knowing without him telling them, not having to ask. He missed that. He missed everything that had surrounded him in that life.

Getting in his truck, he turned it on, only to look at the buckle once more, it wasn’t anything special, but it hit him. It hit him in a place that had long since been dormant, and whether he would ever admit to anyone or not, it felt good. This felt good. Did he need to go to the gym and actually get fit to ride one that wasn’t one foot in the grave? Yes. But did he have the motivation he’d been lacking? Also, yes. It was fucking time. Finally, time—he’d been waiting long enough. Now he just had to get his shit back from Colt, because fuck if he was going back out in pawn shop chaps.

#-- | self para

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yakultstanreblog · 12 days

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it's okay if you can't sleep; as you've said before, there's many uncontrollable factors that build up to your inability to find rest in a timely manner. however, from another perspective, you are probably the person who is most likely to truly value a good night of sleep the most.

it might not even come in the near future, but i'm sure with all the things you're bound to attempt in the quest to overcome these struggles, you'll slowly but surely find something that works best for you.

it's only our pain and frustration that gives context to the times we are happy. such a cliche is often forgotten, as we fixate more on what is going wrong - many convince themselves it is an inherent problem with themselves, but know you have the power to persevere. you're here, after all.

even if it's neither today nor tomorrow, keep moving forward. surely, there will come a day you can look back at these times and smile, knowing it helped you appreciate life and grow.

I appreciate this <3 you’re right I’ll find a way! Honestly I just get a little tired and a little envious of people who live their worst years for 1-2yrs (not that that’s any less valid of a rough time) and then go on to live their best lives! to be fair I thought this was going to be my story too at one point but now it’s been like a decade and I really have been trying almost all this time like I just get tired in every way I think more so now that I don’t really have any family or friends to interact with irl to keep me afloat, it’s kinda all on me now and what I’m going to choose to make of this existence and I’ve always had goals to keep me going but idk what the goals are anymore (bc I partially achieve all of them and then have to dip bc of my health when I’m just getting started) a bitch is just so tired… still I remain hopeful.. I know I probably come across as rather pessimistic (especially in my writing on my main but remember these blogs are just an outlet for one side of me and don’t rlly represent em irl imo) but there’s always been a tiny glimmer of light in the back of my mind bc unimaginable things can happen in the future we just don’t know - I never lose sight of that (though sometimes I wish I did) anyways soz for tiny rant idk if it’s at all relevant but thank u for ur message !! if ur going through things urself or if anyone reading this is, I hope u can hold onto a barely existent light as well bc while I haven’t found a sense of stability yet, I will say holding onto said light has provided me with a few moments of joy throughout the years (while easy to forget amongst the more prevalent dark) that I wouldn’t have been able to experience without holding onto the light and in those moments u remember why ur alive so pls know some of those moments will come eventually (and then go but then come again) and even for just a moment you’ll be glad u held on <3333 we be goin thru it my dudes but I guess this is just the way things go (and just maybe things will change oneday idk but no point being too caught up in the past which I can’t change, though easier said than done)

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0bsc3ne · 3 months

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god. i love my partner. so much. and i really don't want to break up bc he's probably the best person i could ask for considering my long-term goals and current issues. he's great and i just want to point that out bc i don't lovepost him as much as i ventpost and i just want to be clear that he isn't nearly as terrible as my skewed stories of him on tumblr make him seem.

that being said.

god he pisses me the fuck off sometimes. i left at 7:20 bc i needed to go by the store before the show and i wasn't about to wait for him to find his shit. he then got a little sulky abt that but whatever. should be noted that he's got a bit of a drinking problem and has been saying for months that he wants to get better. whatever, we've all got issues, nbd. but he just. doesn't fucking try. before i left he cracked open a beer to drink on his longboard on the way to a fucking BAR. i told him he could just like,,, save that one for later tonight?? bc he's gonna get smth at the bar anyways??? but nooo. anyways remember this it's important later

anyways show's great and i have fun but like. mid last set he comes up to me and just tries to kiss me? which. again. nbd ig but i Really don't like pda and he knows that. and then after the show he tries again. atp i realise he's drunk and some conversation happens and he can't remember the name of one of the bands (later on he insisted that he did, in fact, remember them) and then he finally admits to being drunk after he can't remember a conversation he had with someone else he was going to tell me about. and this brings up that whole thing abt how he wants to get better abt drinking and says he wants me to help him and i say i literally just did (note the end of the whole previous paragraph) and then i say something about how that would've been really easy to yk. not drink. like it's literally not even a five minute ride to said bar. and then he got offended and asked for my bike lock code so he could go unlock his board and (presumably) go home. and just. idk.

i feel like i'm in this weird position where my entire life philosophy is "do whatever the hell you want, just don't fuck with anyone else when you do" so i generally try to avoid judging/influencing people as much as possible but then he wants me to do it to him abt his alcoholism when i'm just. Not Comfortable doing that. like that's your problem, dude, and i'll support you if you need it, but if you're just going to ignore me the one time i try to be insistent? why should i even fucking bother? idk. i guess i'm just under some sort of bias or smth bc i just. Cannot stand any sort of drug that slows my thinking so i don't really understand the appeal of alcohol but. still. idk.

it just kinda sucks. in the most selfish way it just sucks that he's so perfect except his only two flaws, both of which happen to be the two things i can't fucking stand in people. idk. i won't break up w him over either (at least for now) but it just sucks that it doesn't really feel like he tries for either. and i love being around him otherwise. and that is most of the time. it's just all conflicting.

but ig he can say the same thing considering he's dating... whatever the hell i have going on. i'm probably worse. idk. i miss being single in the way of like... "you can't miss what you never had." if it does get to a point where we break up. i'll only ever miss being in a relationship with him bc I experienced it. otherwise i have no real desire to be in a relationship ever i just kinda stumbled into this one. whatever. i've been sitting in this bar too long writing this i need to just go home and see my cat i miss him

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monstersinthecosmos · 4 months

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(diff anon) i'd love to hear about what aspects of the fic you mentioned were formative to your own writing style! you're my favorite fic author of all time and i'm truly obsessed with everything you've written like. sorry if i sound like a creep LOL i literally got into VC so i could read your VC fics dude. you're amazing!!!

Dsgasd oh my goddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

First of all, thank you LOL. That’s so kind to say!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But also I feel a little silly like citing this fic as teaching me all these lessons about writing when they are things I am still very much practicing and always trying to achieve; I do not feel I’ve reached the level of The Epic RE Fic That I Idolize but weirdly enough I don’t think my VC fics are really great examples of the things I’m about to point out, since they’re all one shots and silly little smut scenes. I think I’ve carried the RE advice to my Sheith fics in a more meaningful way!!!!!!!! I think my Sheith fics are better samples of my writing and more complete stories that I’m trying to tell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes I wonder how random it is, like, I don’t think this is the BEST FANFIC EVER WRITTEN but it found me at a particular time. Maybe I could have learned these lessons somewhere else. Like there are a few other fics that I treasure deeply that gave me lightbulb moments about writing and it’s like, are they extremely unique? Or did I just find them when I found them? Did they just have the honor of being the first? Idk. But something about this fic is like, it left so many impressions on me in such a formative way that I still think about, and as I’ve gotten older and better at writing and as I become more able to articulate my tastes, I’m still always comparing back to it. And in the years since I’ve read like several million fanfics and I think I’ve developed a sense of what I know that I DON’T like, as well, which dictates to me what I would like to avoid as a writer, and even those things are like in direct opposition to this fic! So like. It just always comes back to this one for me, and maybe if I’d been in different fandoms it would’ve been some other incredible fic, but it happened at this place & time and it is what it is!!!

And for a long time I’ve cited it as my favorite book??????????? Like I do have favorite BOOK books, as well, but. This feels like it’s my favorite book lol. And I think it’s important for fic writers to have that because fanfic writing is a very different medium from original writing, and like a lot of what I like about this fic is SO specific to fanfiction writing in a way that doesn’t apply to writing in general.

But. Here’s some takeaways from the fic that really like created a blueprint for what I like in fics and gave me like the ultimate writing goals of how I would want my fics to be (and I’m still trying to get there!!!) !!! AND IM TRYING REALLY HARD NOT TO WRITE A NOVEL MYSELF I’M TRYING TO KEEP IT SUCCINCT WISH ME LUCK.

(sorry, I did, in fact, write a fucking novel okay i just love this fic so much 😭)

BIG THICC CHAPTERS

So just for the record every time I talk about this fic, it’s actually a duology of TWO FUCKIN FICS!! The first is like 311k and the second is 312k !!!!!!!!!!! That’s 600+ k’s! !!!!!!!!!!!

And to set the stage for you, I was 15 when this fic came out, and I was reading it like chapter to chapter. It’s 23 chapters and I think it was published up to 17 or 18 when I first binged it, so after that I was like reading every update. If I recall it was like ILLEGALLY on FF.net and survived the original purge but got caught later and taken down, so the author had moved updates to a personal website, and would alert everyone about updates with a fucking email list. It was the wild west out there okay.

BUT WHAT I LOVE ABOUT THIS FIC IS THAT THE CHAPTERS ARE LIKE AROUND 15K ON AVERAGE? It’s a nice thicc update. So the update days felt so special. It wasn’t like a bullshit 2k update that you can read in 10 minutes, it was like a nice event to sit down to.

I don’t even try to like set wordcount goals on my fics because like, one of the WHAT NOT TO DO lessons I’ve learned from reading several million fics is like, I really, really, really hate when authors fluff the wordcount with bullshit just to have the number. Like there was a super popular fic in one of my fandoms a few years back that I ALMOST had this experience with because every chapter was like 20-30k and it took me all morning to read on a day off and I was trying so hard to enjoy it but like so much of the body of text was just NONSENSE and like, wasn’t adding to the story at all, was repeating events that JUST HAPPENED in the form of clunky exposition to remind us, and I just felt like the author was trying to be like The Biggest Bestest Writer w/ the Longest Fic and it was just fucking excruciating. LOL. Eventually the updates became exhausting and I wound up skimming them :(. So. I don’t ever want to set that trap for myself.

But the RE fic taught me like, to think about stories (and chapters) as the sequence of events you want to convey, and give them space to breathe! I don’t want to just drop chapters on AO3 because I came to a dramatic stopping point, and I don’t want to just fill my page because I’m antsy to get engagement. I want to actually share stories that are patient and take the time to say what they want to say. And like as a 15 year old when I read this fic for the first time I was VERY MUCH the type of undiagnosed ADHD millennial who had bullshit random ideas and posted 1k at a time of WHATEVER and my page was a MESS. And I just think like, this fic taught me in a huge way to be patient and think about pacing, think about how I’m splitting the parts of the story apart, what makes this bit a “chapter”. It encouraged me a lot to like, think about the long game of how many scenes belong together in one update, vs splitting them into chapters, how to use that effectively, to be patient and not just publish every fucking little milestone just because I finished something and want to share it. LOL. Like just, be patient, write a nice thicc chapter, give it space to breathe, let the readers get through a cup of tea or have a lazy morning inside with it.

Just be PATIENT.

PACING!!!

And the PACING. The way the SLOW BURN builds!

First of all this fuckin fic slow burns you in like SEVERAL DIRECTIONS and when I tell you it is BRUTAL. A lot of this has to do with the canon it’s working with (I’ll talk about this more in a bit) and I don’t want to get too in the weeds with canon details but like the fic is a novel of pre-canon backstory, so like. IT’S THE SUSPENSE VS SURPRISE THING RIGHT? Like, I’m slow burning for usual reasons like waiting for them to work out the mutual pining and fuck already, but also!!!!!!!!! The TENSION waiting for canon stuff to happen!!!!!!!!

Because !!!!! I’ll just tell you right now!!!!!!!! ONE OF THEM FUCKING DIES IN THE GAME OKAY. So this entire time is this investment into a ship where YOU KNOW HE’S GOING TO FUCKING DIE LOL. And like the timeline of the fic takes place over 20 years so it’s covering so much ground and history between them and every update you get closer and closer to the events of the game and it’s just ahdskjglads EXCRUCIATING LOL.

You also know from the game that one of the characters (Birkin) is married and has a child, so like, you slow burn on them hooking up, and THEN you slow burn on “oh god what’s going to happen why does he wind up with a wife this is awful something terrible is going to happen” and then WHEN IS HE GOING TO DIE I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS.

But the fic covers such a huge expanse of story and does such a great job just pacing out all these events, and this also goes to being patient and writing thicc chapters. And it kind of weaves in and out of major events, like there are times the text will just straight up time skip like “Two years passed like this” and other times we like stay very focused on a month or two of important things. And it just feels that everything that gets space and attention moves the plot, everything has a purpose. (Ironically I could have learned this from VC and it's very obvious that the author was a VC fan for a few reasons I'll spare you because this post is too long already and even drops an IWTV joke at one point LOL) [BUT I GUESS READING IT IN A FIC MADE IT FEEL MORE ACCESSIBLE IDK like I learned a lot from Anne Rice but I also don't really want to write like her so I never idolized her prose too literally. I think it maybe is more obvious with a blunter author who cuts to the point LOL.]

EVEN THE SMUT okay like, because, they finally fuck lol, and like, TO ME PERSONALLY I don’t like when slow burns culminate in one fucking smut scene and then it never happens again lmao. I like it when like, the dam breaks and we get a plethora of smut. And this fic is a little tricky because there’s a stretch in the middle WITHOUT smut when they’re having issues around Birkin’s wife hahaha but like. For the most part, once they fuck, there’s at least some smut in each chapter, and it’s never random!!!!!!!!!!!! The plot of the fic is so intertwined with these specific smut scenes, especially bc they imply that like, the ship is fucking 5x a week LOL. So the scenes that we actually get are like, yknow, their first time, or the first time they don’t use a condom, the first time they have make-up sex, the first time they say I love you. You know??? It feels so strategic. I love it!!!!!1

Don’t get me wrong because I’m a big fan of PWPs also LOL but like I really really adore longfics and slow burns that use smut this way, too. There’s room for everybody and all types of porn, so it’s all good LOL but like I really would love if I could write like this and I think about it a lot when I try to plan my fics and it’s something I’m really trying to work on. Smut for the sake of smut is excellent but it’s also just a really fun bonus if there’s like, porn meta lol.

And even like, going back to pacing and time shifts, it’s so graceful !!!!! I feel like I get stuck on transitions a lot in fic, like how to do time skips, and I always go back to this fic to remind myself it’s okay to just go “It was a week later when –” like it’s so simple! So easy! Just do it!

UNAPOLOGETIC EVIL CHARACTERS

Again without getting into the weeds on Resident Evil canon, this is a love story between the two VILLAINS and like. THEY’RE AWFUL PEOPLE LMAOOOO. Some of it is like tropey fake sociopath stuff that we see in fiction, like, I wonder if someone this evil is even capable of loving anything, but it’s KINDA NICE YKNOW like it’s romantic that they cause mass death and their city eventually has to be nuked to stop their virus from spreading even more but they couldn’t give less of a fuck about the 100k+ casualties because all they care about is each other. 😊

And it’s written in such a raw way that honestly I feel like I don’t really see anymore? This could be because the fandoms I read these days don’t really have characters like this, but. For example! When Birkin winds up in a marriage of convenience with this woman, he just slowly devolves into being such a horrific misogynist because he resents her so much? And he’s so unfulfilled as a closeted gay man and fuckin hits her and stuff when he’s frustrated?

Like he’s UNLIKABLE, he’s HATEABLE, so much of the conflict in the story is HIS OWN FAULT and he’s just an awful fucking person, and the text isn’t shy about it! Even writing his POV it’s like, “he couldn’t look at her without losing his appetite” and “it disgusted him to think about her sloppy vagina” LOL it’s just!!! So incredibly raw and messy and honest.

I’m even guilty of shying from things like that in my fics because, while I adore whump, I also think about my stories as fantasy spaces, and I don’t often want to bring real world harm into them. I think a lot of fandoms have this, like this established fanon space where we write fics where there’s no homophobia, for example. I don’t see a lot of fics anymore about coming out, or being closeted. They’re around!!! But I think I used to see them a lot more 20 years ago because the generation of writers were struggling with it so much more, maybe.

Again, maybe just the fandoms I write and read for, idk. Like VC doesn’t feature homophobia in canon, VLD takes place in the future and it doesn’t come up, YOI is like a fantasy world and the creator even said that homophobia doesn’t exist there. So yeah idk like. I have read fics like this, they’re out there, it just doesn’t feel very common, and it’s especially uncommon to take that direction of portraying the blorbo as a misogynist and spousal abuser, you know?

BUT !

I LOVE IT because, you’re still rooting for them LOL. Like, Birkin punches his wife and complains about her sloppy vagina and I’m like YEAH GET BACK TO WESKER! GET SOME DICK! Like it WORKS because I’m on his side LOL. It’s just a really interesting exercise in characterization and like, how to still like people in the text who are just completely awful that you’d never forgive in a million years if they were real.

I’m sure this is around in like Kylux or something, this has gotta still be a thing in other fandoms LOL, I just personally don’t see it a lot. Even VC fandom could be better at this, you know. 😊 Make them scumbags !!!

SMUT PHYSICALITY

There’s something really funny about how the smut is written and it’s like. At a glance I always think it’s just outdated because like we’ve collectively all nailed down some better vocab for smut that I see these days LOL but also it feels meta because the two characters are like evil scientist sociopaths so everything is sort of clinical and dry. Like there’s a lot of rectums and anuses and penises LOL. And it always makes me chuckle a little when I reread until I get re-acclimated.

But what I think it kinda does brilliantly is it zooms out and like shows so much structure and choreography for the smut. So like. I’m really glad that this fic was so important to me as a teen because I hadn’t written a TON of smut and really started writing it a lot after coming back to writing fic in my late twenties after a really long break, and I’m just really grateful to have this foundation because it made me think about the bones of a smut scene so much. Nowadays I think fandoms and smut writers have collectively bounced vocab off each other and we’ve like osmosis hiveminded so much great technique for smut writing and I’m so glad that smut scenes are so much more stylish and sensual these days but it’s nice to have this foundation too and to come back to like, how people move and what they’re doing beneath all the sleek words.

THE EXPANSION OF CANON !!!!!!1

I’m still, 20 years later, so goddamn impressed with how this author was able to expand canon the way they did??????????

Because like, if you’ve never played Resident Evil, these two characters are NPCs and villains, and in Resident Evil most of the canon information is delivered to you via documents. Like you explore areas and find documents laying around or find people’s journals and you read them and that’s where all the world building and exposition and clues are taught to you.

So like, we know these two worked for Umbrella in the 70s because there’s a photo of them outside the building in the 70s. We know the names of their coworkers because we find a lab report signed by someone named Ross.

Like, in any fandom we’ll have these bits of pre-canon or backstory that are delivered in crumbs, but WOW IS THIS FIC GLUED TOGETHER WITH FUCKING CRUMBS. And the amount of research the author did on like SCIENCE LOL is so ?? idek how accurate it is or if they’re just bullshitting but I BUY IT LOL it feels right, feels natural while you’re reading, makes perfect sense! Because there’s so much about like the work they’re doing in the labs, and like details about the projects, etc.

Just, going back to pacing, it’s incredible how many subplots the author wove together to like fill twenty years of time. For example, in canon, we meet Wesker in the first game where he’s a rat inside the police department running a special ops team, and by the end of the game you find out he’s worked for Umbrella the entire time and is delivering you to be slaughtered so that they could get combat data. So in the fic there’s like, the whole section about how Wesker decides to start this special ops team and put in the time to pose as a cop, and how he actually has to do police work !!!!!!! And he solves bizarre murders!!! And does paramilitary training !!!! And it’s such a great section of the fic and I love it!

Like there’s just so much thought to using canon as a framework and like finding all these spaces to uncover and fill with your own ideas. Even giving Wesker and Birkin family histories, which we never get in the games! Wesker has a whole fucking family! His sister is a fleshed out OC in the fic that shows up a lot and she’s amazing! I love her!!!

It just feels so much like the SPIRIT of fanfic to me and what I like to see, what types of things I like to think about when I’m like in blorbo hell. I DO think about all these uncovered spaces and want to know more. I want to know everything! I have to make these decisions as a writer! I want to make up headcanons about people’s families and histories so that I have that point of reference when I’m writing, even if I never have the chance to reveal it in the fic itself!!!

I like when canonverse fics pay this much attention to detail and feel PLAUSIBLE. It just really inspires me as a challenge to see how plausible I can make fics!!!!!!! Some people like face canon and walk backwards into hell lol but I really enjoy this as a creative exercise and this fic like really showed me how much you can make up while still be so plausible!!!!!! And it deepens my enjoyment of the source!!!!! Because I re-play the games and I'm like OH THIS IS THE ROOM WHERE SUCH&SUCH HAPPENED, THIS MUST BE WHERE THEY HAVE THAT ARGUMENT OFF SCREEN, etc.

AND ALSO LIKE THE THING THAT FUCKS ME UP SO MUCH is that the first fic was written after CODE: Veronica so it covers like the timeline up until that game, and then they have the entire fucking 312k sequel that came out before Resident Evil 4 so they were out of canon to use AND JUST MADE SOME SHIT UP!!!!!!!!!!11 And to this day I prefer how the fic went over canon LMFAO. This fic is my actual Resident Evil canon, bye!!!

But it was so rich and layered, so well paced, so thicc and fulfilling, so thoughtful !!!!!!!! So well written! It’s incredible how these two fics are like a pre-canon AND post-canon fic, like that’s so much thought work to do about THE THING, you know? I fucking admire it so much!!!!!!!!!!

Gosh.

AND ANYWAY BONUS POINT ABOUT ADULTS IN FANDOM

Reading this fic at 15 I was so impressed with like the worldly references and point of view and life experience of the writer and I kept thinking “wow this writer must be a fucking grown up” LOL and like, I don’t think fandom spaces were as segregated by age back then and it wasn’t so uncommon for adults & minors to mingle in the same space because no one gave a shit, but I do know that the friends I made were usually around my age because we gravitated towards each other, and it always gave me the impression that the fandom was like all high schoolers. And especially like once FFnet did the purge and we were sharing on LJ more it’s like, fics being posted in between everyone’s entries about their day at high school lol.

Anyway so, I just remember like, appreciating so much that older people were writing fics, too, and some of it was like just very obvious life experience that came through in the text, but also like being able to characterize adult characters are adults, if that makes sense. Like I don’t want to generalize every teen writer but I do know that when I was a teen, all my characters tended to behave like teens. And I noticed it in my peers’ fics, too, like, the amount of melodrama and crying and like world-shattering interpersonal conflicts that an adult could like, very easily solve or avoid LOL. So it was really awesome to read like, adults written by adults, and again like even though I was a very avid reader of traditional books, too, and reading lots of adults that way, reading fanfiction is such a different experience when you see the same character written by several different people and notice how everyone portrays them differently. It just made me start thinking about stuff like that as a writer, like how much was I projecting, how much does everyone project, how much can you insert about your own experience and point of view without mangling the character?

And like, I stopped sharing fanfic online after the LJ strikethrough because all the fanfic spots kinda died at that point, and then I was like working full time at 17, and then I started college when I was 21, and just a few years went by where I dismissed fanfic as my silly high school hobby that isn’t for adults, EXCEPT THAT I WOULD REMEMBER THE RE FIC WAS CLEARLY WRITTEN BY AN ADULT, and so when I rejoined fandom and started writing fic again when I was like 27 I remember feeling like I had something to contribute and I was so happy to be an adult in fandom writing cool stories with all my patience and life experience.

AND LIKE OVERALL NOW I THINK, IDK, THE WAY THE INTERNET LANDSCAPE HAS CHANGED AND THE WAY MILLENNIALS ARE COMING INTO MIDDLE AGE LOL, I feel like I still mostly interact with my peers, but I still see like the ageism in fandom from younger folks here and there, and I’m just like. Whatever kids, the grownups are the ones writing all the good fic. 😎

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