#idk what tags you guys fucking frequent anymore

[shonaegi]

#ramblings #ok to rb but also just a personal thought i had #i havent frequented drama channels for bg audio in months now and honest to god ive never been happier #rest of these tags gonna be a rant LMAO #but my personal breaking point was? har tbs doing a video on whatever warriors youtuber that had a lot of. ahaha yeah #but it was very clear they did not look into it AT ALL like even basic things like knowing assfur is a warriors character? #dude got wrong. it pissed me off #they proceeded to defend the one maproject the wc person tried to host but like. since they had no clue that ashfur is like #an actual bad guy & the maproject uses an actual mental illness for this man? #that project's script was a fucking nightmare if you thought abt it enough and like. the fact that you would try to #defend that yet have no fucking clue what your talking about. thats when i was like yeah no i cant watch these guys anymore #ill watch some channels from time to time but idk. not my kinda content

[stray-tori]

An Innocent Sin & the good gay flashback ft. my descent into madness

I wasn’t sure if I should post this but I mostly want it archived so here we go. This is from like,, September?

So. “An Innocent Sin” is a dumpster fire unlike anything I’ve ever seen. I don’t remember why I decided to read it. maybe I was crazy. Either way... I read it. It soon started to touch upon (very very outlandish) sexual abuse which I thought was interesting. (the angst, not so much some of the wack circumstances surrounding it)

ANYWAY. at some point... we have a flashback. And not just that. It has a gay character.

And it turns rly gay. which mind you, is still in a het smut manwha (that has a “gay” side couple, but still!)

And it destroyed me.

For those who want to read it because I genuinely think the flashback is a decent bit, it’s all the bonus chapters between chapter 77 and 78 I think. There’s a part before that too, but idk where exactly anymore. (It’s on lezhin! or your platform of choosing)

I don’t THINK you’ll need any other knowledge to get the flashback bit? but it’s been a while.

Below the cut (rip mobile users), you can read all of my amazing reactions (all of these were text messages, for context - but I took most of the replies and convos about other things out). Post is also tagged as long post. :))

(i’m serious, this is fucking long)

__________

Here I am. Liking the gay flashback character. Feck. Main dude is still straight but idk it's cute pff

This is a mess. The girl white hair likes, likes black hair, maybe, but thinks white hair is attractive

What just happened is sth I'd like to know too pff He's so cute tho omg. Watch me melt Can we stay in this flashback before everything got perverted af and before white hair gets assaulted all the time I would send an eyebrow emote if I could Context: he's asking he says it again

Ik it's not mutual but loookkk he's so sweet. He's kinda rude in present time, can't we stay in this flashback forever

I never asked for gay, never expected gay but I got gay

This story is trash why am I still reading it shdhhd

He caught his mom cheating. And now she's forcing him to watch??? What is thissss Well adoptive mom But still sudhdidu what Bitch how dare YOU exist

Save my babyyyy

Yay sister that's not yet a rapist to the rescueee

This flashback is actually just nicer in every way let's just stay here This is a super long flashback btw Idek anymore what triggered it

Okay I think I'm gonna make the sensible decision and let this dumpster fire rest and just go sleep

It was very wild. I kinda wanna see white hair get therapy but it has 90 chapters and I'm at like 30... So I'm very concerned this is gonna be very dragged out. Idek if it's even finished ahahsududi - but I do kinda wanna see where it goes and see more cute Noah (white hair) so. Here we are.

yeahhh like i was down for the sexual abuse angst but then the mother killed the adoptive son's mother bc the dad had a thing for her?? and it was someone a person studying with white hair knew and so he's investigating and I'm like how did this turn into a crime organisation kind of plot

hhhhhhh i... i appreciate these horny things also tackling abuse but it always kind of gives me weird vibes to have both, especially when its very horny. And when people are horny to people who've been abused. Idk but I'd assume... you might try NOT to tie them up if they're frequently bondaged during their assaults. I'm just.... disjdksdj hello?? am i weird?? why are they fine with it???

also this manwha is so wild, theres this murder mystery investigation thing and then theres just a couple doing honry stuff sprinkled in between and i'm like OKAY

they rescued a guy in their basement and he's understandably very traumatized and they're trying to question him cut to our main couple trying bondage which i still dont understand bECAUSE HE'S A RAPE VICITM WHY ARE YOU OKAY WITH THIS the ones questioning arent the main couple of course but idshkjds

like im glad he's somehow okay with all this horny stuff despite his trauma and im glad he can be happy and have a nice relationship but DO WE NEED THIS MUCH OF IT he's very cute tho

i like that even when i try other stuff lezhin recommends me it still has large amount of gay in it

[mei: i mean... that's pretty great, if you ask me]

I mean I agree, I'm enjoying the gay eheheh these tonal whiplashes there's not even that much white space between the panels fhjd nvm it just turned horny goddamn it can there be 1 chapter without fucking? okay, there were the flashbacks

WE ARE BACK IN FLASHBACKS but im not getting the gay relationship, sad

OH WAIT AM I GETTING GAY COMFORT bc thats very good too

OH NNOOO this turned sad very quickly

I'M SORRY IM SPAMMING BUT THIS IS JUST ANGSTY

I'M :((((

different species confirmed

I rly like them :((( I like the current girl too but it's just..... very horny with her. the flashbacks are nice [current tori edit: she’s very unloyal idk why i said I liked her] im weird HHHHH RIPPP 

someone help him he looks so saddddd

not sure if thats the most healthy relationship but I'LL TAKE IT

AWWW black hair's mom cooks mild food for them bc Noah can't eat spicy food :((( im soft

PFFF

I LOVE THE FLASHBACKS :(((

awww

i feel like theyve done much more bonding than noah's current relationship. I mean yes I think its cute when she comforts him, too, but they rarely do anything besides be horny together

OH OH THEY'RE KISSING

best buildup, honestly

the position is hornier than I'd like later here goes hope it stays cute

D-did someone just respect the word "stop"??? I am amazed

i think you might uh. have some trauma stuff too so yknow

Dohye is a little dramatic in his reassurance but it's all rly cute so I'm :(( I like them a lot pls stay like this getting invested in flashbacks is always like: ik it wont stay but pls stay like this

hELP

chapters ending in "i wanna touch him" is never good. I'm scared. Oh okay he didnt do anything. PHEW. He's already better than the girl, can't they just end up together lmao

[Noah was jealous]

w-why do you look so evil dohye haukdhjs

oh. oh no. the horny is starting. pls dont... just be cute forever

DOHYE NO YOU WERE SO DECENT WHY ARE YOU LYING ABOUT KOREAN TRADITIONS TO GET HIM TO DO STUFF HORNY STUFF TOO NO PLS STOP I JUST- WHEEE TvT the manwha is actually less visually horny in the flashbacks but im not sure if its bc its BL which isnt rly the genre of the manwha or if its bc they're still kids basically, which... I'd respect the latter, tho I'd prefer it to be like this constantly haha

okay. he's not respecting stop anymore, but it's also more of embarrassed nature more than "no i dont want this stop" so maybe i can forgive it. Still losing points, but he hugged him and it was sweet so HHHHHHHHHHH NOT SURE HOW I SHOULD JUDGE THIS SITUATION

They [Noah’s family] forbid him to visit his friends house I AM DEVASTATED

understandable they're a rapist, a fucked up murderer mother and a father with a thing for younger women so

tho he dont know any of that but yknow he's so pretty just fucking end me on the spot

hooo

they are boyfriends and ik from the future that his sister is gonna ruin it allll she has those drugs that make visual imaginations feel like they rly happened to the person (dont know if thats real but holy fuck its terrifying) and she's used it before to say that Noah assualted her. and im pretty sure shes gonna use it again bc there was a panel of Noah remembering Dohye being uhhhh intimate with her and thats why Noah began to hate him and im so sad im not ready for it. bc he's denied it in the future and i honestly couldnt see it happening even before that or she drugged Dohye, i guess thats a possibility too

[current tori: oh girl, it’s neither and it’s wack]

which if, btich you gonna die even more enough rambling, more reading. this makes me so sad but also spicy

on the manwha note, he thinks Noah doesnt like his family bc he's adopted and doesnt feel comfy which....... fair enough i suppose. and he's so cute im gonna melt just looK AT THIS 

SHUt UP, IM GONNA CRY

OH MY GODDDD he ate like ice and gum and all that, and Dohye assumed it was bc of the more spicy food and got rl worried, but he was just trying to get the smell out of his breath bc he wanted to kiss him ukhsdjs HOW CAN YOU BE SO CUTE HELLLOOOOOOOOO

look at them. LOOK AT mY BABIESSSS

how am i ever gonna care about the main couple again aww he-he wanted to go to the same highschool as him :((( im sad bc i know its not gonna happennnnnn

[mei: also at this point, you're literally never gonna care about them. i don't even know the main couple that well and i honestly don't care about them whatsoever.]

WAIT NO they're actually going to the same school awww ik it wont take long until sister fucks it up for them but for now theyre so sweet ohmygodddd

cant he move in with them, fuck his family honestly

dohye he's not a fucking pokemon iukhsdjs

oh. its. turning horny i am displeased with this development but i guess its natural for their relationship however COULD YOU DO IT AT HOME AND NOT IN SOME DUSTY SMALL ROOM how do ppl do this i like that the comments too are just "... is anyone still carng about the other girl?" sakjds

this is the best 3 panels in existence.

h-he just took your hand dohye idk what to tell you

[mei: "you blush at everything i do" god if that isn't me, idk what is]

awww its cute dohye is getting bonus points bc he invited Noah over while his mom wasnt home, they watched some sexual stuff and he DIDNT try to do anything what is this where can i get more of this

"well im not okay"

MY BABIESSSS 

they still didnt do much btw they're just kinda exploring and its honestly nice TvT I dont want this to ever endddd

[Dohye sees Noah’s sister and approaches her] N O

N OOOO

this is the starttttt of something.......... TERRIBLEEEE 

:((( babyyyy

I AM EMO

Noah was drugged im sure. hes having dreams and waking up in pain and the sister is asking doyhe over I DONT LIKE THISSSSSSS OH HE DECLINED

OKAY OKAY he saw him with her again but it was from behind and im not sure if it rly happened??? oh no this is terrible. Noah :((( poor child

i am so emo about this

[reminder he’s been abused TvT]

[the sister: “Don’t you want to know why?”]

i will. murder someone he called to ask her to delete his number btw what is this manwha but this is just gonna make it that more tragic when whatever happens that breaks them apart :(((

he's such a good bf but Noah just wont TELL him his side I'M SO SAD

I AM SO SAD

No

NO

It cant end im actually tearing up nooo you were so cuteeee and happpyyy

[*sister is telling dohye to come to the gym hall*]

what else is she gonna do she already teared [current tori: ahem... T O R E] them apart THAT'S NOT DOYhE. THATS NEVER HIM. OH MY GOD. is it a look alike??? damn, she's dedicated to just. ruining it, huh

I’M

I’M SO SAD

now he's switching SCHOOLS NO NOOOOO how will i ever find happiness againnnn NO they're misunderstanding further they're not talking properly i mean i get it but oh my god

I'M :((( 

NO NOOOO pls make up in the future at least omg he tried to clear it up tooo ahhh i dont even have hopes for them getting back together but i just i want them to clear it up im crying first manwha to make me cry and it's this dumpster fire ahaha maybe a little too bc it kinda hit a little close to home i guess but goddamnn ittttt they were so cuteee and so happy and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OH NO. Noahs getting drugged and assaulted. And he's realizing it happened before, he just forgot. I am. so sad it's not horny drawn either which i appreciate but MY HEART NO

N O DONT YOU DARE MAKE THIS WORSE

Im. gonna cry more 

Doyhe kept an eye on him im so emo :(( but he thought he was doing well enough and gave up.... Im im so sad no i want you to make up and get back together its all just a stupid........... MEHHHH will i ever find sth like this flashback again

[mei: p-probably not, no]

i am so devasted i dont even wanna go back to the main couple just fucking. i want this relationship back :(((( but i guess the investigation might end up somewhere so hhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhh the baker manwha had a similar flashback feeling so. i just gotta find more of that haha

BUT THIS WAS SO SAD??? im so emo

[Dohye got kidnapped // the flashback commentary stops here but I think my descend into madness is pretty funny too]

OH YEAH THAT HAPPENED. THE FLASHBACK WAS SO LONG I FORGOT. NOOOO SAVE HIM. JESUS CHRIST PLS JUST ONE GOOD THING

its. actually rly smart to have another, more focused on them flashback, before the arc where he gets kidnapped by the rapist murder household so. good job. from a meta perspective but also NO but also. maybe theres hope for them making up at least after all :(((

[main couple kissing] this is. very weird now. but im glad he has someone, he deserves it but dohyeeeee

and switching to sex, YET AGAIN now i wanna see this EVEN LESS THAN I DID BEFOREEEE it's even.... a threesome now with one of the other characters why are you like this why can't you be. like in the flashback i am so upset HAHHHHH WHEEEZEEEE

I am just stop fucking jesus christ PLEASE I DONT WANNA SEE IT ANYMOREEEEE

im just stop the horny pls just tell me who that new guy is and why doyhe likes him so much

[mei: this manwha is a fucking mess but at least we got your lovely commentary out of it]

dhsuksj thanks i feel honored at least i got cute BL out of it before everything went [back] to shit

[mei: THAT TOO]

[...]

tbh im getting kinda mad about doyhe... i dont... feel like he'd just fall instantly for a guy who looks like Noah... but eh not my character

i just want closure for dohye at this point, fuck everything else ... not literally pls theres already too much of that

pls get it together for like 1 chapter is the investigation even still happening i am so confused save dohye plEASE wait what i have less than 10 episodes left Dont tell me this shit isnt even wrapped up yet

[Dohye is having a breakdown over the Noah double not coming to see him anymore]

yeah i this... doesnt feel like Dohye... at all... Even when Noah was rejecting him he was just kind of... taking it with some humor and maybe he was a little desperate and risky sometimes but... oh well... i do want him to get better but... im having a hard time believeing this development??? he never seemed overly anxious or anything. but who knows what else they did to him. Sister can still go fuck off tho

[...]

i mean. i liked the flashbacks a lot honestly??? it stayed simple and focused on the dynamics and less trying to balance smut with murder plots

[dm partner: NO THAT'S WHAT I MEAN LIKE CLEARLY THE AUTHOR CAN MAKE A GOOD STORY SO I'M JUST... CONFUSED AS TO WHY THEY DIDN'T STICK WITH SOME SOFT, FLUFFY BL ROMANCE MANWHA AND DECIDED TO MAKE WHATEVER THIS IS INSTEAD ]

okay i dont care bc dohye is currently getting assaulted nobody asked for this why i just. this is terrible. he was... so sweet. he doesnt deserve this. nobody does of course but jesus christ pls someone save him at least its not horny visually, one saving grace

ah... the assult is back to being depicted horny-ly thank you for nothing

[... removed some general confusion about the plot]

YES. SOME SHIP FOOD.

i am. suffering i mean i cant stop but GOD

okay so apparantly. the sister. has just an arsenal of people who look like other people Dohye, then Noah... and even Noah's GF??? this is ridiculous??

one good message 

why 

did you feel the need to add that [actual tired rage]

im gonna die this manwha is gonna kill me im laughing but im suffering oh hes arrested great and thats the end and the last update was in january of this year

why AS IN NOAH IS ARRESTED nobody who actually did anything is arrested What is this why is this AHHH I at least wanted the complete-ness of finishing this but now I'M JUST SUFFERING

[ mei: I MEAN TO BE FAIR I'D BE SUFFERING TOO BC JUST... WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE?? MANY QUESTIONS?? AND MANY CONCERNS BC THIS MANWHA IS JUST... AN EXPERIENCE ]

its an experience allright WELL

_______________

yup that’s it.

in my head, in a twist of events Dohye and Noah make up and are actual endgame. Something like that must exist out there but I won’t ask because it’d destroy the surprise and ruin the point.

That’s it.

Have a nice day.

#an innocent sin #dohye x noah #noah x dohye #long post #tori talks #tori has opinions #reactions #yes I do this often in our dms #poor mei #toriqueue

[criminal-sen]

20 TUMBLR CONFESSIONS :)

I was tagged by @bulletsjin :)

Rules: Answer the questions you are comfortable with and ignore the ones you are not, and tag eight people to do the same!

1. When did you join Tumblr, and when did you become active and started posting (broken down in case if different)?

I joined in 2012 and was pretty active right away

2. Would you reblog your first ever Tumblr post after responding to these questions?

Nope!  It is NSFW and will be flagged!

3. How many blogs do you follow?

I just checked I think it’s around 140

4. How do you find blogs to follow; do you explore Tumblr by topic to find interesting ones, pick from the tags the ones who look interesting, see them on your dash via your current follows - or how?

Usually from reblogs idk

5. Do you have any other blogs, and if so, why and what are they about?

Nope I waste enough time on this one

6. How often do you change the theme of your blog and how many themes have you gone through overall (as far as you remember)?

Rarely and who knows, just a handful.  Only thing I change that often is my avatar

7. Do you customize your themes or apply a theme as is?

Mine is basic af lol

8. Do you automatically follow-back, or do you check the blogs of all your new followers, or only if they appear interesting?

I always check cuz half of my followers are porn blogs:)

9. How many of the blogs you started following within the first few weeks/months of joining Tumblr you still follow (all, most, some, hardly any)?

Jfc I don’t think any of them are active anymore aside from like... one

10. How actively do you use Tumblr’s messaging system?

Almost never, I am incredibly awkward lol

11. How many drafts do you have currently saved – or do you post/reblog straight away without saving drafts?

I don’t do drafts.  I have like one draft that’s like three years old and it’s just a drunken ramble

12. Do you use Queue when posting?

No.  Never even once lol

13. Do you use XKit, and if so, what are your favourite features in it?

I don’t know what that is!

14. Do you use tracked tags, and if so, what are your favourite tags you check most frequently.

Nope

15. Do you use tracked blogs, and if so, how many blogs you track?

Nope

16. Do you keep your Tumblr secret from people you know in real life?

Absolutely

17. A) Have you ever blocked anyone? B) Do you have anyone blocked currently, and if so, how many?

No, I haven’t gotten into it with anyone hard enough to warrant it even though there’ve been some *ahem* close calls recently.  Fucking vegans and Republicans, man

18. Are you (to the best of your knowledge) being blocked by anyone, and if so, how many, and do you know why?

Oh who knows.  Probably not, I’ve never harassed anyone

19. Do you use blacklist, and if so, what do you blacklist against?

No, none of the bad shit that shows up on my dash is ever tagged anyway lmao.  I don’t really mind or else I’d just unfollow

20. Have you ever made a RL friend through Tumblr, someone who you have also met in real life?

Nope!  I am WAY too fucking awkward for that

I tag: @caneslvenatici @seeveekat @quantumlevitation you guys totally don’t have to do this if you don’t want to lol

#q&a

[mythykl]

**That’s right. It’s time for Kakashi x reader Bitches

“Kakashi? Kakashi??” You couldn't comprehend why Rin had locked you in a dark room with hIMmm, and you held his hand the whole time, cuz’ ya 13yo ass was scared af. Once you guys were let out, you saw Rin and Obito fist bumping each other. 

That's when obito blurts- "Being the ones to know how much you like Y/n, you should've seen this coming!" 

"Baka! Shut up Obito, y/n doesn’t kn-" rin whispered

lmao. You're ass went speechless. Kakashi's hold tightened and he dragged you outside the academy.

before dating, he was pretty much a jerk to you, but it was through rin that you both get to know each other more personally,,, and still,, he continued to act like a jerk

well. once he took you outside, he decided to confess. His voice seemed shaky and he didn’t- couldn’t really speak out exactly what he wants,, 

“Kakashi, quit beating round’ the bush.. And the way you’ve held my hand it’s hurt-”

In the mid sentence- he just,, pulled you into a hug,, and whispered how much he likes you and asked you out!

you guys ended up having a beautiful time on your trip/date, at naka river, and,, tho no one really mentions, you both start dating *an unspoken understandin i guess?* on ya second date you guys prolly went for treking! *well i’m imagining that you aren’t a ninja*

You were by far the only one to see his face w/o mask

By now you had gotten used to obito’s clingy ass. though kakashi rants too much about him, you know, he loves him. Rin helps you a lot with dating advices,, somehow

Minato sensei teased you kiddos,, a lot. “At your age, all i used to do was keep staring at kushina,” he joked once.

He was a huge chatter and a curious ass fella surprisingly, you’re boyfriend talked to you about most of the things he learnt in mission, every goddamn theory he had in his mind, his likings and dislikings, his interest in Dōjutsu etc. You could feel how lonely he used to be, cuz he felt no one would listen 

you’d join him during his training at times, well that time you got to know that throwing a kunai isn’t as easy at it looks, your wrist hurt af

once kakashi had called you princess after kissing you in front of your friends, this commenced to everyone calling you by that name. especially Gai and obito

After obioto and eventually, rin’s death *ofc* you guys drifted apart; drastically. You couldn’t understand or help him through his immense remorse and regret while he would just,, either had a huge tantrum or not say anything at all. He said things like-  it’s better to stay alone, and have no one to lose- while breaking up, which hurt you a lot. within a few months, you guys didn't even cross paths in konoha streets since he became heavily loaded with anbu missions

Now that it has been like,,, a really long time; one day you see the konoha’s infamous Naruto with his team at the door, with a huge flower bouquet.

“Please accept this!” The girl with pink hair squeals.

“It cost us our whole savings but Ino-kun did give us a good amount of discount after hearing these are for kakashi-sensei’s date dattebayo!” naruto,, practically screames.

“Hold your horses; that’s not how you greet people.” the,, uchiha? Yes. he concludes blandly.

Your heart skips a beat on hearing your long-time-no-see lover’s name. Knowing him, you highly doubt that he sent them but still you ask.

“No ma’am, but we-once- managed to sneak into his Icha Icha Paradise, he’d written your name.. In it.. So we found you. You are sensei’s date aren’t you!?” the girl with pink hair, yes sakura, almost whispers to you.

ah.

“Yeah. That was a hell of a long time ago,” you smile.

You let them in and offer some tea. You guys talk a lot and they were astonished?- yes, more than astonished that you’ve seen him w/o mask. Ah ok

Wow they had already done huge ass planning beforehand to make you both meet *not that you know*. As you take them downstairs to bid adieu, you see kakashi,, literally,, standing, in front of you’re door. Both of you equally shocked. 

Kakashi and you start talking to each other. You apologize for not sticking around since you didn’t know how to help him let go of his pain while he apologizes for bein a jerk-? Ok.

You guys plan to hangout-, which is the most difficult part! You had to work in the morning hours while he had to stick with team 7 for missions by afternoon

 you guys ended up deciding on crashing at each other’s places at night, and also,, sometimess early in the morning *???* it gets tougher for him with time to juggle from place to place, thus, getting late for his missions

You guys end up moving in together *it’s official* and he sleeps closest to the window. yes.

He’s very protective of you and kinda the jealous type, he’s afraid of losing you and is very open about expressing it. He doesn’t give you nicknames but often call you stuff as ‘my other half’ and refers you w -chan *just being sarcastic*

You are like a mum to team 7 and they love you, you get them lunch at times. Sakura often asks you for advice to get sasuke,, but udk what to say since sasuke.. Is just sasuke *he reminds you of 13yo kakashi*. But uk that there’s a special bond between them

kakashi doesn’t hate PDA, but he doesn’t like it either; you guys for long walks in the evenings, occasionally hold hands. Is it obvious to others? Don't know. Butt once you caught kurenai and asuma kissing.. Twas’ hella kyut

He would also rest his chin on you head a lot, and likes to intertwine his fingers with yours when you guys are alone

Hugs aren’t his thing but if you hug him, he’ll slowly hug you back and then all at once melt into you, Anddd he’s warm af

twice you caught him, just in underwear, slurping ramen in the middle of the night and you were like,, wait wut-

He loves ya massages and loves to cut vegetables,, for some reason,,

Big cuddle person in bed

You love trying different hairstyles on him anddd he looks dead ass hot in most of em. Let’s just agree,, he has a better taste in style than you tf

You guys usually opt for trips to neighbouring villages, hot spring trips, camping etc

Tho mysterious and sarcastic, he opens up to you whenever needed. Unlike in childhood, now you’re the one who talks a lot. He agrees to feel acknowledged for being himself whenever he’s with you and like a prodigy, sharingan bearing, functioning human, as people call him. His brain lets go of all his insecurities and PTSD for a while when he sees you happy because of him

He often loses track of time during his frequent visits to the memorial stone where Obito's name is engraved; you understand that he needs some alone time for this ritual and this, don’t tag along 

Well now, even you've started reading icha icha series cuz’ of ya moron boyfriend, and you are hooked to it *since I basically imagine it to be the fifty shades of grey in naruto universe lol* you guys freakin end up trying shit from the book

“Baby, let’s be sexy,, together” he said once as he leaned againt the kitchen counter in the most sexy way.

“Sure senpai, why the book’s tactics won’t work?” he just laughed hysterically at the comeback.. And,, umm.. You get what happens

He likes braiding your hair, especially before sleep, he finds it relaxing

Whenever his ass displays a bored and unenthusiastic expression, you say, “go bald kakashi.” right. What a mature insult 

He’s very calm and observant and knows what you are feeling- or even what you are thinking. I mean how-? 

He asks you to make miso soup, with eggplant, a lot!

Your parents aren’t really sure of your relationship. Since he wears wut? a maskkKkk. And once Kakashi, still being as apathetic as he was during his youth, spoke bluntly about sensitive topics with them during a discussion

gai gifted you both matching Yukata on ya bday. that’s indeed beautiful and thoughtful of him.

well Your boyfriend sucks at selecting gifts.. He gets you things that can’t be used or idk.. ButTttt this man is too good at remembering dates  

People wonder if he’s stern and serious, judging by his past and repo, but you tell them that he isn’t! Well, he has decided to move on, and now you know how to support him. He knows that you appreciate him for that, and this he listens to you.

you just found an engagement ring on you night stand with letter beside it. congrats hun *instant panic*

...

i hope you enjoyed ;))

i need to,,, stop imagining so much, it's a lot to type. i wish i had a gadget or something through which my imagination would get typed, systematically, on my pc. Btw i won’t be uploading much in September since i gotta study so. so don’t assume that i’m dead or don’t care anymore. 

this one was requested by two peps, since my ass is new on tumblr i kinda fucked up and thus, my inbox got cleared or something. i’m still learning k

ya that’s it.. imma go and read my icha icha now ah huh

#kakashi #kakashi hatake #kakashi x reader #hatake kakashi #naruto #sakura #sasuke #obito #gai #asuma #kurenai #naruto x reader #narutotrash #narutoheadcanon #naruto scenerio #naruto oneshot #kakashi boyfriend #anime #shounen #naruto fanfic #naruto fanfiction #kakashi fanfic #kakashi fanfiction #kakashi fanart #naruto fanart #anime x reader #kakashi x you #you x kakashi #reader x kakashi #headcanons

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

y’know the next time i go to the doctor (bc i have to get new prescriptions for my meds etc), i think i might ask about adhd and get to working on getting a referral to a therapist.

i think i should sort this shit out bc i can’t seem to focus on anything anymore and plus thinking about my behaviour in high school and some things that happened in primary school, i think i could’ve possibly had it but not known it bc i was undiagnosed.

like my old memories on fb seem to reinforce it bc everyone always described me as “hyper” or “crazy” in those lame “like this status and i’ll tell you what i like about you/give you compliments!” etc posts that were a trend when i was in mid-to-late high school. and it was mostly bc i did things without really thinking about the consequences, and covered it up with something like “live in the moment dudes!!!!!! why are all of you so up yourselves??? chill the fuck out and do stupid shit!!!” and then say weird outrageous shit like a show off. and as ive said before my marks were topsy-turvy asf bc i was always more focused on my english or drama assignments (especially with finding more & more ridiculous & complicated sounding synonyms for easier words in those said assignments; spending hours on dictionary/thesaurus.com and freerice.com).... while other subject assignments (mostly maths, sport & geography, religion, and sometimes science), as well as class work went completely undone.

i also had frequent habit of dramatically walking out of class in crying fits and stuff like that. then i’d spend the rest of that particular lesson having people comfort me or have a friend walk me down to the office and wait in “the purple room” in the school office that was really a counseling room for one of the teacher’s and the actual school counsellor. i had these meltdowns so often, in fact, that i was eventually given a “purple room card” that allowed me to go to that room in the office and chill there until i calmed down, or w/e the card said when i finally found it on the floor of my room in like 2015. and obvs in year 4 (outside of high school) i got sent to anger management in year 4. but by years 11/12 i’d learned to not have the meltdowns during classes bc it was seen as a disruption to the class (and it was in a way, when one of my friends would usher me down to the office and sit in that purple room with me... like they didn’t need to skip class with me) and also my own learning, so it was much better to do it at hone in my room at like 2am lmao.

although, sometimes those meltdowns were actually caused by my period pain (bc as i’ve said before on diff posts that my period pains in high school were unbearable), but i covered that with “oh but i can’t handle my workload!!!! 😭😭😭😭😰😰😰😰” and other stuff about idk feeling lonely???? which also led my year coordinator at catholic school to making a group for girls in my year group called the sunshine group (which i was then pretty mortified that she put me in bc “I AM the leader of the black parade and a killjoy! this is offensive!!!! 👩🏻‍🎤👩🏻‍🎤” although the rest of the group was mostly girls that had had fights in their groups or whatever, it focused on self-esteem issues and spreading happiness through the year group/school, by making cupcakes and doing laughing yoga or meditation. like it was a good initiative i’m ngl in hindsight lmao).

then i remember a guy in my homeroom making fun of me in like year 9 religion or something; bc i was obsessed with moshi monsters and obvs neopets (as usual) which he deemed as being “for babies” and not proper computer games like idek call of duty??? that he played. and the moshi monsters thing happened after i found their spinoff toys in big W bc they had the website on their tags. and one of my best friends decided to point out i wasn’t just “into moshi monsters” but instead i “was “OBSESSED” with moshi monsters in high school” a few weeks back now at our other best friends wedding planning dinner. although i do admit, in hindsight, that moshi monsters was probably aimed more at kids aged like 8-12 or something like that and not 14/15 year olds lmao.

and i remember the dude i had a crush on making what now seems to be as a jibe about me being “obsessed with harry potter. i mean, like, super obsessed with harry potter. like you’re too invested man” (when, ironically, he was my level of HP obsessed but instead with old cinema & game of thrones.... knowing all the behind the scenes shit or w/e).

and finally, i’ve had sleep problems for ages.... where i can’t go to sleep until like 1am or later so i have to dance it out to for while before i go to bed. like is that normal???

but yeah. idek maybe it is adding up and i should really see about it with a therapist. again i’m not self-diagnosing it’s just a musing.

also: don’t reblog this, please

#life #about me #shut up ilona #musings

[hawkfurze]

Relationship Ask Meme

tagged by @ariestals​ I’m not gonna tag anyone this time around just cause I did this meme recently

So I guess I gotta choose a new couple for it

And of course it’s gonna be Rush and Griffin

DISAGREEMENTS:

Who is more likely to raise their voice? Griffin is, although he rarely would raise his voice at Rush.

Who threatens to leave but never actually does? Neither

Who actually keeps their word and leaves? Neither

Who trashes the house? If something pisses Griffin off enough he may slam something but I don’t think a full on destroying the place kind of thing would happen. He usually storms off when he’s mad so he can cool down and think more clearly.

Do either of them get physical? Nope!

How often do they argue/disagree? Very rarely. Their disagreements that they get, before and after they got together, are usually about how one of them handled a situation, and most of the time with those the other tends to realize their wrong doing before their disagreement turns into a full blown argument.

Who is the first to apologize? Griffin. He hates arguing with the people he cares about, and he’d want to resolve it as soon as possible.

SEX:

Who is on top? Rush

Who is on bottom? Griffin

Any kinks? Just like with the Anna May and Hudson one, I did not give them kinks cause I don’t think about the sexual stuff in my OCs relationships, unless the topic is brought up, I guess.

Who has the strangest desires? IDK

Who’s dominant in bed? Rush

Is head ever in the equation? Yes

If so, who is better at performing it? IDK

Ever had sex in public? Nope

Who moans the most? Griffin

Who leaves the most marks? Rush

Who is the more experienced of the two? I’d say they’re about equal

Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’? Still don’t know the difference

How long do they usually last? IDK

Rough or soft? both

Is protection used? yes

Does it ever get boring? Nope

Where is the strangest place they’d have sex? Probably in a partially collapsed house somewhere cause I don’t think there’s almost any real houses post Collapse.

FAMILY:

Do they plan on having children/or have children? Rush has his daughter and if they wanted more kids, both of them would be up for it.

If so, how many children do they want/have? They have Mila right now, they wouldn’t mind another child or two.

AFFECTION:

Who likes to cuddle? Both of them Mainly Griffin

Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places? Rush probably

Who struggles to keep their hands to themself? Griffin, he’s always trying to hold Rush’s hand

How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable? For hours. Rush would be the one who’d get up first.

What is their favourite non-sexual activity? They love laying next to eah other and talk about just anything.

Where is their favourite place to cuddle? In bed or on the couch, their partial to both.

How often do they get time to themselves? Most of the time at night, but they can sometimes find time during the day to have some time for theirselves. With the Highwaymen being a thing, it’s hard to make a day date, but they can enjoy small things at Prosperity or Roughneck Creek.

SLEEPING:

Who snores? Griffin, but not often

If both do, who snores the loudest? N/A

Do they share a bed or sleep separately? Share a bed!

If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart? Cozy up!

What do they wear to bed? Griffin usually either sleeps in his boxers or pajama pants with a t- shirt and Rush wears those PJ shorts with a t-shirt, or sometimes shirtless.

Are either of them insomniacs? Griffin is, but after he started having his “getting murdered horrifically by Mickey” dreams, he tries to force himself to stay awake because they scare him that much.

Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside? Rush would put some there for Griffin but he doesn’t take them often.

Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side? It’s like the most cuddlyest cuddle pile you can possible imagine.

Who wakes up with bed hair? GRIFFIN

Who wakes up first? Griffin, sometimes in the middle of the night and he would just lay there until morning.

Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other? They alternate, although usually Griffin beats Rush to it

What is their favourite sleeping position? They don’t really have one

Do they set an alarm each night? Nope

Who has nightmares? Both of them do, but Griffin’s last longer and are worse.

Can a television be found in their bedroom? No TV in the apocalypse

Who has ridiculous dreams? Rush does, but it’s hard for Griffin to have dreams when he doesn’t wanna sleep

Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? Griffin. There have been times where Rush has woken up with him spread out like a starfish, fast asleep.

Who makes the bed? Neither of them XD They don’t usually

What time is bed time? When they’re both tired, usually between 9-12

Any routines/rituals before bed? None!

Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up? Griffin

MISCELLANEOUS:

Do they live in the city or in the country? City, they both come from Sacremento, California, their stay in Hope County is just until the Highwaymen are gone, although they do plan to frequently visit.

Do they enjoy their surroundings? They are! Rush is incredibly happy with what they have built and Griffin is happy to be apart of Rush’s dream and to have met the people he knows now because of it.

What do they do when they’re away from each other? Griffin is usually away from Rush when he is out doing something for Prosperity or New Eden, but he would be thinking about how he is doing a lot. Rush would be busy making sure Prosperity is up to shape, that old ranch held off one siege and he’s hoping he can make it live through another.

Where did they first meet? In the summer of 2020 in Galena, Illinois. Rush’s group, back when it was still small, was heading to Sacremento after a failed attempt of starting reconstruction east. Griffin was there because he was a drifter and didn’t have anywhere to go. Griffin had gotten into a fight in a bar which I didn’t have explanation to why he was in one cause he doesn’t drink alcohol and was thrown out. He saw Rush being followed by some guys in an alley way and they both saved each other from being beaten up and mugged XD Rush liked Griffin’s fighting spirit and asked him to join, and everything continued from there...

Any mental issues? They both have depression and PTSD

Who finds it amusing when the other trips over? Rush does, but not in a making fun of way.

Who’s terrified of bugs? Neither of them!

Who kills the spiders around the house? Both do

Do they have any fears for their future? Griffin has a horrible fear that some day in the future in his words Rush is going to wisen up and realize he could do better and leave him, but not just end their relationship, but also their friendship, because Griffin treasured that more than anything and the idea that Rush wouldn’t even want his company anymore scares the shit out of him. Rush is scared that the Twins are going to have Griffin killed in a horrible way like they tried to kill him cause in case you couldn’t tell I’ve been answering this as if Rush didn’t die at the plant or Joseph’s prophecy is more sinister than he has been letting on and that something bad is going to happen to him.

Their favourite place? Prosperity, mainly, because it’s safe and they have their friends there

Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? Rush is, although Griffin would try to get him back with breakfast in bed the next day.

Who’s the tallest? Griffin, he’s 5′6′’ and my headcannon height for Rush is 5′2′’

Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other? Griffin is, he’s not shy

Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio? Rush. Griffin has a nice voice but hes not the most musically invested, unless it’s Hozier.

Who crushed first? This ones kind of tricky cause, unlike with Anna May and Hudson who, in Anna May’s case, was crush at first sight, they didn’t arrive to Hope County secretly pinning for each other. Rush kind of realized his feelings for Griffin may be something more than how you typically feel about a friend when he first rescued him from the mines, but he didn’t think those feelings really were romantic attraction until he spent more time with Griffin afterwards and realized that those feelings were not going away. For Griffin, it was a slow buildup, that didn’t turn into something he was fully aware of until after Prosperity's final upgrades were in place.

#damn it hawkfurze #far cry new dawn #thomas rush #griffin #the captain

[glados-kisser]

Tag meme

I was tagged by @the-sith-in-the-sky-with-diamond ! tysm ;;

Nickname: Nova most commonly!

Zodiac: Gemini

Height: 5′5.5 because middle of the road is how it be

Time: 19:58 as of now! I think the zone is “ UTC -5:00 / -4:00″? It’s eastern US ^^;

Favorite band/artist: OOOOooooh hmm.... I really like a lot of artists, but I’ve been on a bit of a sleeping at last kick lately?? Ofc I also really like all the popular / common alt rock artists (like imagine dragons, fob, etc etc!)

Song stuck in my head: Oh none rn actually! partially bc I’m listening to music rn gbdfhdfhfd  but most recently I’ve had a few songs cycling through my head? Cups by Anna Kendrick, Stronger by The Score, and andy you’re a star by uhhhh....the killers maybe??

Last movie I saw: Captain Marvel! I loved it sm...

Last thing I googled: Oh no...this is a little shameful- “what is my timezone“. I KNOW MY TIMEZONE I SWEAR I JUST WASNT SURE IF THERE WAS A DIFFERENT NAME FOR IT

Other blogs:  oh uhhhh yea, a couple! @oceanic-year was a blog i made to document my trip through the carribbean, but i ended up abandoning it- i havent deleted it because :( memories... @clipped-warboy was my mad max blog for awhile! i had a character and everything - a friend of mine used to RP with me :> @wardgrave is my oc blog for my undead priest on wow! i still adore him tbh @coal-and-claws was an oc blog i was making for a worgen character on wow, but I never ended up doing anything with him ;; @thordude which ALSO doesnt have any content! i made that one bc i wanted the url becos thor is my...brother.....my best boy.... @mayal-ama-legacy is my swtor blog! @corvus-dnd is my Top Secret DM Inspiration Blog that I reblog art / stuff to that I want to look at later for inspiration for any campaigns I’m running! Do I get asks:   Not usually! Sometimes I’ll get the “send this to ten people you like seeing on your dash” asks, and those are lovely to see! 

Why did I choose this username:  So for YEARS I’d been rainbowbuttocks, but that was the url I chose when I was 14 and a young bastard, so I actually just recently changed it! I’ve been playing around in latin with a friend for RP purposes, and I ADORE crows! I chose sanctus bc....aesthetic but it’s holy-crow which is also a pun on holy-cow!

Following:  oh gosh, uhhhh 1,120 ! I like seeing Frequent Content

Average amount of sleep: I’ve been trying to get at least 8 hours! If I’m gonna be unemployed i might as well soak all the sleep i want from it

Lucky number: hmm....26 was always one i went for when i was 13? but that was because it was my age doubled, so now I suppose that’d be 38 :p

What I am wearing:  a dishonored t shirt (a fancy one with the heart n stuff on it!) and a pair of shorts that are missing their button lol

Dream job:  tv show writer!! but im a bastard who doesnt know how to do anything so!

Dream trip:   I’d love to go to bolivia to see salar de uyuni, but idk about that so i suppose i’d love to go back to the carribbean someday??

Favorite food:  salad rolls (or spring rolls?? the rice wrapper ones that arent fried) and pad thai are both BIG comfort foods <3

Instruments you play: I used to play the piano a little, but I don’t anymore :’)

Eye color:  Grey-green !

Hair color:  bbbbbrown babeyyyyyy! growing it out again though and might go for that sweet sweet red :o

Describe your aesthetics: Overgrown ruins, untouched by civilization for untold years and left to be reclaimed. Also, bones!  

Languages you speak: just english because im bad :( I know a TINY AMOUNT of german and EVEN LESS spanish. I’d love to learn arabic someday though!

Most iconic song: Okay, it took me a moment, but Sober Up by AJR is my THEME!  I moved to the East Coast with my sister recently, and I left...I left everyone behind. I’ve been in a rut, because I haven’t known how to make new friends- or how to connect with my old ones.  “Goodbye, goodbye, I said to my bestest buds. We said that we’d keep in touch, and we did our best.” Idk, it’s Big Mood for me and makes my chest hurt a little- but in a good way I think.

Random fact:  ah, hmm.. I’ve got a pet tarantula named Chimera! She’s a chilean rose hair and is aboutttttt 7 years old at this point ! I also have a plant in my windowsill named Daud, and he’s doing...ok. I’m a little worried that I’ve fucked up with him somehow, and don’t know how to help him get better ;;

Tagging: @mizushimo @kanine @didi-is-a-lamer @floofytrainnerd ! I...am Sure that there are other folks I’d like to tag & just forgot, so if you see this and think “wait, I would like to do this!” absolutely feel free to be tagged by me fgdngfdg also @ the guys I tagged there’s no pressure to do this if you arent comfy ! anyway!

#is me

[thebestoftimes]

50 QUESTION BOOK TAG FOR WORLD BOOK DAY

By me, Jess. I made this for world book day but then got depressed and didn’t post it on time lmao but here ya go kids be warned though it’s a long one. Also the numbers thing got fucked up and I couldn’t fix it.  I got a lot of these questions from other tags I’ve seen and google so if something sounds familiar... that’s why.

Who or what sparked your love of literature?

Aw my parents fueled my book habit when I was a kid and took me to the bookstore all the time and since then all my teachers have always encouraged me and made me love books even more than I thought possible.

Do you have an ‘odd’ book habit? (page sniffing/never leaving the house with a book)

It’s true that I never go anywhere without a book. I got one in my backpack or purse or reading on my phone but it’s always there.

Do you have a book that you think has changed your life? How?

A lot of books and series have made significant impacts on my life (like I can’t picture elementary school without Percy Jackson being in my life) but like as a person I can’t think of any one book that has changed who I am. It’s been a team effort.

Which book have you reread most frequently?

I think I reread Hush Hush every year lmao idk why

You can meet any author and ask one question. What author would you chose and what question would you ask?

I’d want to meet Shakespeare and ask him if all his characters really were just that gay or if we’re all reading too much into it.

Best book published this year so far?

It’s only March but The Gilded Wolves by Roshani Chokshi

Imagine you’ve started a book and don’t like it. Do you see the experience through to the bitter end, or are you able to talk away from it mid story?

I used to always finish what I started but now that I’m in college and have a mountain of a TBR I’ll just stop.

What book is top of your wish list/TBR pile?

Uhh A Winter’s Promise by Christelle Dabos  is on top rn

Favourite place to read?

My bed. Boring but a classic.

If you buy books, do you lend them out? Ever had a bad experience?

Of course. No all my friends respect my stuff and return them promptly.

What fictional character do you ship yourself with?

So many but I think Gansey and I from The Raven Cycle would make the best couple.

Weirdest thing you’ve used as a bookmark

I use whatever near me so I might have done something weirder but lately I’ve been using tissues because I have a tissue box by my bed and never real bookmarks. But I’ve used graded homework, a toy car, a crayon, earbuds, etc.

Favorite quality/qualities in a protagonist and antagonist

Wow this is s hard okay for protag I am a sucker for like stubborn, smartass with a martyr complex. Sad but true. Antags I love a good morally grey character or anti-villain. Tragic backstory but smart as hell. The worst (the best). Characters like the Darkling from The Grisha Trilogy, and Warner from the first Shatter Me book (I know he’s a good guy NOW but back then we all thought he was a sadistic and sexy villain).

Favorite genre and favorite book from that genre.

YA Urban Fantasy babyyy and that’d be City of Bones by Cassandra Clare or Lady Midnight by Cassandra Clare:)

  Best/worst movie adaptation in your eyes

Best: Harry Potter and The Hunger Games | Worst: Percy Jackson

Do you prefer reading your own books, or library books?

My own.

How do you choose your next book to read?

Literally whatever I’m feeling like at the moment.

Your favorite word.

I love many words but I have a soft spot for “lively” and “lilt”.

Book that got you hooked on reading/how you got hooked.

I’ve always been obsessed with reading but The Peter and the Starcatchers Series was like my shift from nicotine to heroine.

Opinion on dog-earing, margin writing, ect.

I only write in the margins of books I have to read for class/textbooks. And that’s for studying and active reading purposes. For any other situation: no.

Top 5 immediate to read in no order

A Winter’s Promise by Christelle Dabos

A Very Large Expanse of Sea by Tahereh Mafi

Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan

The Wicker King by K. Ancrum

A Darker Shade of Magic by V.E Schwab

Most underrated book you’ve read

Definitely The Foxhole Court/ All for the Game series. Fairly small fanbase for some of THE most amazing books I’ve ever read. And the memes will have you in stitches.

What is the first book that catches your eye when you look at your bookshelf?

Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell because of the exceedingly bright cover/spine haha

How do you arrange your books on your shelves?

LOL I do not have a system at all. I keep series and authors together and that’s it. Everything is placed where there is room.

You have the power to change a book’s ending. Which ending would you change and what would you make happen instead?

I’d change the end to Allegiant and SPOILERS SPOILERS not make Tris fucking die over her shitty ass brother. I know why she did it but like Veronica girl wyd with that. And I’d want the entirety of Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins to be rewritten into a book that just focused on the domestic life of Finnick and Annie and no one dies.

Favourite book cover?

This is SO HARD. Either The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer by Michelle Hodkin or Ignite Me by Tahereh Mafi

Which book from your childhood has had the most impact on you?

My entire personality was shaped by the Maxmimum Ride series by James Patterson. For better and worse.

When reading, what do you value most: writing style, characters, plot, world building, pacing, etc?

Characters. I think all of those things are essential and as I read more and more, the pickier I get, but I find myself leaning towards being a fan of a book when I become obsessed with the characters. Like hey!! New friends!!! For my brain!!!

Do you prefer buying books or borrowing them from a library/friend?

Buying them even though I shouldn’t. It’s a real problem.

What books/sequels that are being published this year are you most excited for?

SO MANY OH MY GOD

Okay some of these already came out because it’s March right now but I’ll include them anyways.

SEQUELS/ SPIN-OFFS AND SHIT

The Wicked King by Holly Black; King of Scars by Leigh Bardugo; Dream by Natalia Jaster; Chain of Gold by Cassandra Clare; The Red Scrolls of Magic by Cassandra Clare; Capturing the Devil by Kerri Maniscalco, Call Down the Hawk by Maggie Stiefvater; Defy Me by Tahereh Mafi; The Shaw Confessions #3 by Michelle Hodkin

FIRST BOOKS

The Binding by Bridget Collins; Wicked Saints by Emily A. Duncan; The Gilded Wolves by Roshani Chokshi; A Curse So Dark and Lonely by Brigid Kemmerer; Romanov by Nadine Brandes; The Infinite Noise by Lauren Shippen; The Beautiful by Renee Ahdieh

Which fictional character would you want as a sidekick?

Percy Jackson because he’s my firstborn son and one of my favourite characters of all time. He is talented, smart, hilarious, an amazing friend, and the sweetest of boys (when he isn’t the sassiest of boys).

How many books have you read so far this year?

Only 15 I am so behind :(

What’s been your favourite read so far this year?

Oh man. Gotta be Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo :)

You’re stuck on an island with a suitcase big enough to hold five books. What books are they?

I probably shouldn’t cheat and say How to Build a Boat huh

City of Bones by Cassandra Clare

Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte

The King’s Men by Nora Sakovic

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan

If you had to go out to dinner with any character who would it be and why? What would you talk about?

Will Herondale and we’d talk about books

Is there a book you have such a hatred for that you would throw it off of the highest tower knowing that the last copy of it will be destroyed so that not another living soul can read it or would you rather keep it and give it to someone else who might actually enjoy it?

The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne or After by Anna Todd

Do you believe books make nice decoration?

I mean. I think they should be read before used as decor but I love showing off my books so I guess both. But I don’t believe in buying books for the purpose of decoration instead of reference or reading lol

Do you listen to music when you read? Or do you need complete silence? 

I need silence or low amount of white noise. I used to read and listen to Taylor Swift when I was a kid but I can’t do it anymore.

Do you have a favorite book? If not are you in the group that believes there are too many great books out there to just choose one?

I tell people it’s City of Bones by Cassandra Clare but in all honesty no I don’t have a favourite.

Do you sleep with books under your pillow.

Nope

Do you go to the library or do you have a book buying addiction or are you one of those lucky people who is able to do both?

I do both. Mostly bookstore though.

Own any book inspired clothing?

Yes. Several items :)

Have you ever read a book in another language?

I read Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, Tristan and Isolde, and Beauty and the Beast in French. And parts of Les Mis.

Strangest book you’ve ever read?

John Dies at the End by David Wong. Still not sure exactly what was going on. 

Favourite type of non-fiction?

Memoirs babey

Favourite non-fiction?

Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand

Favourite subject to read about?

History

Favourite book you’ve read in school?

Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte

Favourite work of Shakespeare?

Hamlet

Character you’d love as a mom or dad or guardian?

Hmm Sally Jackson, The Women of 300 Fox Way, or Tessa and Will (they totally count because The Last Hours Series)

I tag literally whoever wants to do this and @fangirl-daydreamer97 @acleeds12 @iviisastrawberry @221bdoom @bicycles-bees-bisexuals @betterthanapit @dippindots126 @vlctorvale

[bisexualstokes-archive]

Is it too personal or may I ask what the long story that got you back into George is?

honestly i could use this ask as a way to really sit back and reflect on what’s going on in my life so yeah here’s the story:

(warnings for depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts)

so going way back to my junior year of high school, september 2009-may 2010, that was like…one of the happiest years of my life. I had some really great friends at the time, family life (from what i remember) was more or less going okay (although i remember my parents were pissing me off when i was in driver’s ed), i was getting out more, things changed in my youth group and over all it was just a great year?? and CSI?? Season 10?? was so good?? 

and then my senior year of high school started, I got into some shit with not just one, but TWO of my friends, one of which I was like..in love with, and I was getting scared because Things Were Changing and I had all this pressure on me to get a job, go to college, etc, etc. (I also did start a job in the summer between my junior and senior years and I had a crush at this job and our relationship got Complicated and we never did anything, I sort of pushed him away cause I thought I was too young to be with someone who was a couple years older than me, and I was just scared about it in general.) But I was still watching CSI. I still loved it. I still loved Nick Stokes/George Eads.

And then came my first year of college, again, still watching CSI, and I was trying–oh god I was trying so hard to keep my anxiety under control as everything was changing, I was in a brand new school where I knew like…nobody (well a few people here and there–I went to a popular community college in my vicinity so I did see a few people from high school) and again getting this pressure to succeed in college cause college just wasn’t a thing people did in my family–not until everyone began to realize how important it was (some of my cousins went back to school and got degrees and such)

and I was also trying to do my best to keep in touch with my friends, trying to mend the cracks in the two friends I had beef with, but another friend–who I had since seventh grade at that point–and I were getting closer and closer (she’s my absolute BEST friend at this point in my life tbh and uhm yeah I don’t know where I would be without her but I’ll get to that later)

and I was still watching CSI, still in love with nick, etc etc–but I was also getting into another obsession…Doctor Who

Sophmore year of college?? I think this is where depression was starting to get to me a bit. 

I had absolutely NO idea what I wanted to with my life. Family still pressuring me to succeed, things were getting Complicated with that guy at work, I started another job–so I was working two jobs at one point in my life and going to school which is uh Fun. I can’t remember much but I do remember in general being a bit freaked out over having to change schools cause that was a New thing and I was not good with change (because of my anxiety)

SO then we come to my junior year of college, and so began my dangerous Apathy phase, where I didn’t give a shit that I was failing tests because I wasn’t studying because Doctor Who basically consumed my life. I didn’t care about myself–It’s such a little thing, but I stopped brushing my hair at one point and wasn’t taking care of my body the way I should have–I had never gone to the doctor since my high school days, so I never had regular check-ups 

things at this point had ended with my first job and I’ve never seen or spoken to that one guy that I have Regrets with–to this day I wish we gave it a shot tbh, cause he seemed like a geuninely caring, nice guy? (not without his faults of course) 

and also uh…I think this was the year I stopped having a regular period. 

I’m talking like…I didn’t have a period for months, and I sure as hell wasn’t pregnant

I also stopped watching CSI, for many reasons, for the way GSR was being handled, for the way Nick was getting the promise of all these interesting storylines but NEVER DID and watching Nick/George obviously going through his own shit (cause he definitely gained weight in that season–and NO JUDGEMENT FROM ME TBH cause I’m, uh…technically classified as obese myself), and again, I was also SUUUPER obsessed with doctor who to the point where it was probably hindering my life

at some point in 2015 i did get my period again and was like “OH LOOK I’M ALL GOOD ON THAT FRONT” probably cause this is when I entered my first almost-relationship, a frequent customer at the store I used to work at asked me out and it didn’t work out in the end cause he was um…idk just Not For Me (and a gross ass kisser) but then after that one period, it disappeared again.

OH but in 2015, when CSI ended, I did watch the finale–Immortality even though I was SUPER pissed about Nick being gone (I did go back and watch just his final scene and cried like a baby) and then proceeded to rewatch grave danger for the first time in years at that point–I actually documented that on my blog here lol (and I did all of that instead of studying for a test that I failed the next day lmao)

so blah blah blah had tons of shit going on until 2016, which was possibly the lowest point of my life in terms of depression/anxiety, even though I had finally graduated college, I got a full time job (the same one I’m in now, three years later, very successful I might add–I just got promoted last year and I’m held in very high esteem by many of my superiors so it gets happy)

but in this full time job, I was moved to third shift for a few months, and was forced to work with this one woman who I like DESPISED–although not completely at the time, but to this day I really just can’t stand her (thankfully she quit lol) 

so the third shift transition was rough enough, but at least I was into a new show–Person of Interest and I was having the Time of My Life with it but it really did start getting me to think about my depression and mental health, which up until that point I had been ignoring, despite that one friend I mentioned earlier having pointed out to me many times throughout 2015-2016 that I needed to go to therapy (and I just didn’t think it would work, I didn’t want to do it, my social anxiety was screaming FUCK NO the whole time)

also the trump election thing happened and uhm yeah there was that. Got into a LOT of heated discussions…and lost like ALL respect for my step-father (who you’ll still see me refer to as “dad” but i’m pointing out he’s my step father in this instance because I would be ashamed to be blood related to him)

and despite our uh, troubles, my dad did try to get me to watch Macgyver, telling me that “hey, nick stokes is in it!” 

but my depressed dumbass was like “oh really? nice” AND THEN DIDN’T WATCH IT LIKE A FUCKING MORON

and on top of that, my house got INFESTED with mice and my parents did nothing outside of setting up mouse traps but it was getting to a point where we found like…five mice in a day and I was starting to see them in the daylight (which is a sign you have an INFESTATION) and ALL of my belongings were getting mouse shit and pee on them (my room is right next to the kitchen) and I ended up purging A LOT of things (including a binder of friendship from the one friend I had trouble with in senior year–which man that hurt to get rid of ((side note, you know what really fucking hurts the most about breaking away from that friend? we’ve known each other since pre-school and I mentioned in tags before about how we do still talk and shit and i am one of her wedding bridesmaids and shit but yeah…not like it used to be)))

and i was getting to a point where I honestly?? just wanted?? to die??

I would say it was like, late 2016 where I was even starting to think of scenarios where I could just…like…disappear? kill myself? I just did not want to exist anymore

2017 came along, fresh start, I kept telling myself. Still had mice in the mouse, but I was fully aware of my mental health issues at this point, and was starting to really listen to my friend more and more, really starting to consider going to therapy (especially now that i had health insurance)

(and also I was beginning to realize I have Feelings for this friend as well–although I gotta wonder if it’s actual romantic love and just not intense friendship cause we really are close friends but like…I could also see us as more? if she were open to it? but I know she doesn’t feel that way about girls and she’s got her own shit to deal with, and i respect that so I never push it or bring it up)

and then? twin peaks: the return came along. Season 3, episode 3, “Call for Help” a fucking masterpiece of an episode and something just…CLICKED in me. Something made me realize, I need to call for help

and so I did. 

2017 was the year of therapy, in which I talked about a lot of the shit above, and then I stopped going in I think 2018? when the therapist moved away, but my sessions were getting farther and farther apart anyway, and I felt like I was finally in a better place in my life. I had more coping mechanisms, more awareness of how to handle myself, and I began to realize I really needed to take care of myself more

so i went to the doctor for the period thing, seems like it was some hormonal imbalance cause i was put on birth control to get my hormones back in order (this is my first month off of them so fingers crossed it still works) and by the time august/september rolled around? 

I started writing again

and I’m not talking fan fiction, I suddenly had the inspiration to write this original story idea I have for a series that was HEAVILY inspired by CSI–in which the third book in the series is about a guy getting buried alive (and a girl trying to save him but doesn’t because ANGST but that’s another long ass story lol)

which, naturally, made me want to watch grave danger again, for the first time in three years. and then…I suddenly wanted to watch more csi?? from the very beginning??

and so I watched the first four episodes of season 1 again, and Nick/George was back in my life again. And it felt SO FREAKING GOOD.

Then, I watched Macgyver because I wanted to see new George content, and immediately fell in love with jack

Caught up with Macgyver and then finished my csi rewatch, this time watching all of season 13 (which I STILL HAVE MIXED FEELINGS OVER just like season 9) and 14-15 (which i regret not watching when it first aired cause it’s SO GOOD)

and I’m not saying like…Nick/Jack/George is the sole cause of my happiness, the cure for my depression/anxiety (cause that shit never goes away, you just learn to manage it better), nor is he the sole love of my life or anything, but…he’s a huge part of who I am, because in those years, when I was struggling, I lost myself. I lost Nick. But now I found myself again, I re-discovered my passion for Nick Stokes, and i’m just as happy as I was back in 2009/2010, and life is just so good

#aaaaaaand now i'm crying #just...fuck man #i may have gone into uh...TOO much detail here #but honestly maybe not even enough? #but yeah trust me when I say #i'm happy to have nick/jack/george in my life #cause you know that quote nick says about warrick #about warrick being a huge source of strength? #that's how nick is for me #personal #nonny #about me #2019 #reflections

[the-kipsabian]

diary, pulitzer, characterization, carnegie, faulkner, record, trope ~

diary: how many pieces have you written that are just for you or will never see the light of day?its really hard to pinpoint a number with this but i know for sure that theres a few of them. both one shots and bit longer stuff that ive just written for my own personal happiness that im probably not planning on sharing cause im afraid of them not receiving the attention i feel like they deserve, so they are just for my eyes only ~

pulitzer: tell about/link a piece where you fielt your writing was the best.i know theres probably a bunch of these tbh, but if we go by recent things ive done, uuuuh. i did one thing with asagao!nate. this one. not too long ago and im honestly still very proud of that one? like, even if it was a rather quick one to write in the end, theres just. so many little sentences and things in there that i really like? the beginning for example. then theres the part that the first word natemare tells him and the last word nate himself says is the same. im just gonna leave few quotes here cause i just. really liKE THIS ONE OKAY ;;“And yet all he could think about was the amnesia light show that was eventually going to be playing in his head when the darkness was back to consume his soul once again.““It was obvious that something wanted him to stop breathing, stop living, to give up and melt into the sweet embrace of chaos and hell.”“The darkness caught him off guard, grabbing him by the hand and lead him down the path that he knew there was no return from until the damage was already done.”

characterization: describe your favorite character(s) you’ve written.i wanna say. literally any of my antagonist tbh lol. cause like. i love dark themes and angst and shit, and when you have the immoral bad guys that let you play around with that and then some murder and you get to. dig into their minds for what makes them so fucked up its just. aaaaaaaa i am wEAK. ..and that probably a really bad thing to say but i dont care lol. good examples of this i feel like are especially amber and sebastian? probably alex tho hes. a whole different ridiculous thing but yeah. i mean i love writing so many different kind of characters i just. love everyone lol. but murder children are my absolute weakness

carnegie: what authors and/or books/stories have inspired you to write or influenced your work?so. my answer to this isnt going to actually have any authors in it lol. cause i look up to different people in different mediums that include storytelling tho. like. okay the big one is probably the game alan wake? cause its like. basically what inspired the trilogy in the very beginning (and honestly still continues to do so, i love that game so much aaaAAA). and alongside with that eventually came poets of the fall, that i frequently use as a background music and their lyrics are ever so inspiring with things and fitting for characters tho?i love hideo kojima and metal gear is my favorite game series of all time, hence why i like fucked up too complex plots with way too many twists lolim also a sucker for sweet angst/drama relationship stuff with plot twists which i got into when i was younger through the works of arina tanemuraanddddd idk how this exactly counts here but im gonna include him anyways, cause my main man dan avidan was the person that inspired me to finish the first draft of silence kills when i was ready to give up on it, so like uuuuh. i think thats a pretty big thing here lol

faulkner: what tropes do you LOVE writing? which ones are your guilty pleasure?im a slut for literally any type of aus and thats not a secret to anyone lol. ‘childhood friends with secret feelings for each other’ is one i absolutely love. anything with soulmates. ZOMBIE AU cause i hate happiness lmao. uuuuuuuh. shit im sure theres like a shit ton more but my brain is so blank now that i have to answer to this hahhaaaa but yeah theres a few ~

record: have you written things based off of songs? do you like to?i have a few times. i dont know if any of them are any good anymore, but i have done some stuff that was based on songs. at one point i did a few inspired by nate’s stuff like way back when at least, that much i can remember for sure lol

trope: what’s a pet peeve you have about writing?im going to assume this mean about my own writing? tho just in general i hate it how much time it takes and yet people insist that ‘lol writing is easy’ and its just. its really not um fuck you?but as far as my peeves about my own things go, i. hate it that i dont trust my readers enough to read between the lines hngg. i have a mighty need to figure out something excessively impressive and then i go out on my way to explain it to the readers in authors notes or tags or whatever cause i dont want them to miss it and thats such a shitty thing to do cause you should never underestimate your readers catching on to things hngggg. im trying to better myself i swearalso honestly? i made. way too ridiculous and complex storylines. like holy shit dude chill the fuck out, not everything needs to be that hard to understand??and just in general im an asshole. ..to my characters, for the most part, cause i love angst, but yeah ;;

writing asks!

#..really tho go read that nate piece i love it lmao #it needs. more notes. cause im proud of it so mmmMMMMM #anyways yep heeeere you go woo ~ #ss-trashboat #thank you for asking! <3

[insecure-hbo-the-recaps]

backwards-like

ok ok, sorry sorry sorry i’m back. i’m a few weeks behind and watching these episodes for the first time no spoilers.

Previously on Insecure: Living with Daniel was a lick. Daniel wants to make connections at the club. We Got Y’all needs to hire people of color. And Molly switched to a black run law firm.

Looky looky looky. Issa and Daniel are sleeping in bed together, platonically of course. Daniel teases her and at first you think they are still playing platonic, but they soon begin kissing and Daniel goes down on her. There is totally a scene full of Issa Rae's naked pelvis and hard nipples which I have to say is an improvement over her very awkward sex scenes last season. I approve. Idk about the eating Flamin Hots while getting head, but I understand the sentiment being expressed. But then! That was a fake out too, yet another of Issa's frequent fantasies about the person she wishes she could be but is not, like yelling at her coworkers at work or going on dates with her ex who dumped her last season. She got me that time.

Why are they sleeping together platonically? Issa quickly rolls out of bed and leaves before acting on any of the things she's thinking.

Molly is taking her bulldog to the dog groomer. She hasn't started at her new job yet. Issa hasn't had the interview yet for the invitation she had in the last episode but Molly is just happy she will be getting her own place soon. Issa clearly isn't quite ready to leave the safety (not to mention financially beneficial) arrangement she has with Daniel, but isn't being totally honest about that. Her makeup looks fantastic though.

Molly doesn't see what the big deal is since Issa is sleeping on the couch, but Issa's awkward response makes it clear they she and Daniel have started sharing a bed. Like a good friend, Molly knows this isn't a good idea, but Issa defends her poor choices while eating a dog biscuit.

We Got Y'all is participating in like... a non profit fair or something? I really like Frieda in a supervisory role, and it looks like Issa is doing better from the redheaded stepchild position she had been in before.

Meanwhile, Molly is having her first day at her new law firm. Her dress has a confusing belt thing going on but a cute ribbon tie at the neck. She meets all of the staff and I enjoy just the concept of a firm staffed entirely by black people. That's a nice thing to see on TV. And the view isn't bad either.

Can I just say that I actually love LA? I expected to hate it and for it to be full of nothing but bleach blonde fake boobed bimbos. First of all the people were totally normal - far more "normal" "American" people than I was expecting, which is to say... overweight, basically. New York was a lot worse/better - nothing but thin and fit people in really fantastic clothes. I never saw a fat person in New York until I went to Times Square with the tourists. I could totally live in LA and be completely happy with the vibe, it is honestly not that dissimilar to Chicago at all. After visiting a few times I really don't know why people hate LA so much. You know what I hated was San Francisco... a surprisingly ugly city! And before I ever went to California I used to tell people if I were to live anywhere there it would probably be SF. Oof. That's what happens when you speak in ignorance, sis.

Daniel is working on a new track which sounds like a cross between a video game soundtrack and a sad "my life was hard" rap song. He's hoping Spyder will like it, and solicits criticism from his producer friend. I don't know his name, sorry. The producer friend doesn't like basically any of the components of the song and criticizes things he thinks Spyder won't like. I'm not sure if we should trust his opinion more than Daniel's at this point. The caption says that he "strips down" the beat. They both sound like the same sad ass song to me, so idk.  But Daniel is clearly uncomfortable with the criticism.

It turns out We Got Y'all is hosting a booth at a job fair, looking for the more black employees Issa suggested. Frieda and her manager haircut are happy with the turnout. For some reason, Dias de La Muerte dancers show up complete with a band and everything and I guess job fairs in LA are more interesting than any I've ever been to... which now that I'm thinking about it is zero...

It turns out this is part of a presentation for another employer that works with musically gifted kids in underrepresented neighborhoods. Issa goes over and talks to the staff there and seems impressed with their shtick. Or maybe impressed with the cutie manning the booth.

Uh oh. At Molly's new firm she's learning the office doesn't use standard tech that she's used to expediting her work with. Instead of DocuSign, they use Adobe and a courier. Yikes. I worked at a nonprofit that still didn't have efax and, why? This is the whole ass future. We wasted so much paper printing and faxing everything manually and they didn't even have the big blue recycling bins, which annoyed me to no end. They are also ok with CPT time on the courier deliveries, which is clearly unacceptable to Molly. Sigh. Why do we do this, you know?

Issa is meeting with the property management company and is being interviewed by an older black guy, which is a good sign. Let me reiterate that her makeup is lovely. It seems like the part time position is more the role of a super than... something Issa would really be interested in. She would also get a discounted apartment - about half off - that the interviewer is readily willing to give to her. He asks if she wants it, and at least she has a good bathroom mirror again with which to comtemplate it.

Later, Issa is tagging along with Daniel at the laundromat, who is complaining that his producer friend took out all the "musicianship" in his track - he wanted the string accompaniment, he wanted the instruments. Daniel is trying to elevate his production with Nordic influences and unique touches. Issa offers gently that when he gets to the next level he can do whatever he want, suggesting nonverbally that he should play the game for now and get creative later.

Issa tells him she picked up the second job, so now she can move out. Daniel points out that three jobs is a lot but Issa, perhaps pressured by Molly and Kelly, is really focused on getting her own place. Daniel tells her he really doesn't mind, and their chemistry is lovely as they flirt and get in each others' faces. They are doing a good job of building the tension because I really just want them to bone already.

Back at Molly's firm, a coworker asks if she wants to take a walk for lunch because she's in a fitbit challenge with her MiL. I am sharing data from my Apple watch with my sister and my niece and biiiitch... being a child is the best. She regularly gets 500+ move points a day while I struggle to reach 400, wtf is this child doing all day? She clearly moves so much more often during a day than I do, lol. No wonder we get fat as we get older. However Molly turns down this invitation - she is used to working through lunch, in case you weren’t picking up on all the signs that the black owned firm does not run as strenuously compared to the white-run environments that Molly is used to. The emphasize the point, the storage room is just randomly inside the building instead of offsite, as Molly would have expected. She clearly is not a good fit for this environment, and honestly she should just acknowledge that.

Girls night. The four girls are at a bar listening to Molly complain about the firm. Issa points out there are Mexican law firms as well, for Molly to complain about. Of course Tiffany, the obnoxious one, agrees that black things are janky. I mean... this is not an argument I want to get into for obvious reasons.

The girls go through examples of supporting and not supporting black businesses - Tiffany loves Beyonce, so although she signed up for Tidal she never goes on it. Kelly has a white accountant even though she herself is an accountant. I feel like this all the time. I feel pressured to give clicks to black articles, lol. I feel guilty for skipping links on Twitter about "black issues." I feel a responsibility to care and show support even about things that I don't fucking actually give a fuck about. Also Issa is wearing a dress that definitely showed up in some pivotal scene last season.

Tiffany hints about the changes from pregnancy - she hates that she can't fit her clothes anymore and she's being excluded from group chats. But the overall point is Molly should give the situation some time and try to adjust. Is Amanda Diva really pregnant IRL? Her pregnancy belly is realistic.

Kelly was helping Issa find an apartment - the best she could do with Issa's credentials is something with a "half bath," which, biiiiitch. So Issa breaks the news that she is, in fact, going to stay with Daniel a little longer. They're not sleeping together and they're getting along so she doesn't see what the problem is. Her friends try to convince her there is a problem, and shit like this scene is why I don't listen to bitches when it comes to my romantic life. Don't need all that extraneous input on what choices to make that are best for ME.

Back at We Got Y'all, Issa and Frieda are interviewing one of the people that showed up at the job fair. For some reason, Issa clearly isn't feeling it - and why is she taking part of this interview in the first place? Is it literally just because they need a black opinion on who to hire? The girl compliments Issa's sweater, perhaps perceiving the bad vibes she's kind of rudely wafting. The candidate asks sincerely what Issa thinks of the job, and Issa answers honestly that "they are how they are." When Issa says she's been there five years and the candidate concludes that Issa must really like it, she blanches with no response. But later, Issa checks out the website for the musical empowerment employer, so maybe she will find the motivation to make a change.

More of Molly's black firm, more of her disdain for the loose standards. This time they call her out, and everyone at the table laughs politely.

Check out Daniel! Despite Spyder's reluctance, apparently they have established a working relationship as Spyder shows up at the studio to meet with Daniel and the other engineer. It turns out a friend of Spyder did get shot at the club the other night. He probably died because when Daniel asks if Spyder is alright, Spyder takes a beat and responds "....nah."

Daniel plays his track for Spyder instead of the pared down version his producer recommended. The producer asks if Spyder wants to hear the other version and Daniel is clearly annoyed at this power move. He does play the producer - Khalil's - version, and Spyder thinks that version is hot as well. At first you aren't sure if Khalil is really being a snake - clearly both versions are good, just for different sensibilities - but then he takes over the session and starts playing more of his own stuff, to Daniel's chagrin.

Issa and Daniel are having dinner... I wanna say at Gladstone's! But that's a totally uneducated guess, lol. Daniel is in a bad mood, but Issa is oblivious. "Is that Jay-Z and Beyonce?" she says; "No, it's us! We cute!" she playfully jokes. This breaks through Daniel's bad mood, and Issa explains she wanted to thank him for his generosity, but she is going to take the part time job and move out. Daniel responds petulantly, and eventually explains the snake move by Khalil in the studio. Surprisingly, Issa takes Khalil's side, saying that Khalil knows what Spyder likes, and Daniel would be squandering this opportunity to be so prideful.

Daniel says he thinks it's funny that Issa is giving *him* career advice and... while maybe that's valid, does Daniel even have a job that pays actual money? Cause I have to say I have not seen any evidence of that over the last three seasons. He throws his "saving you from some shit" actions in her face and Issa is understandably hurt. The dinner is ruined. They still sleep together in the bed that night but they are turned away from each other in terse silence.

Daniel halfway apologizes for taking out his issues with Khalil on her but Issa only dryly replies that it's fine. He turns over and starts spooning and kissing her, which she reluctantly gives into. Toxic. I mean, I get it, but fuck, toxic relationships. It seems redundant to even complain about it because, fuck it, aren't we all toxic sometimes too - it's not always just the other person. This time, he goes down on her for real.

Unfortunately, Issa isn't into it. She says it doesn't feel right, and I don't blame her. They lie next to each other awkwardly and eventually turn away from each other again.

the soundtrack says something something something about loving each other despite their pride and yeah... I get it, lol. I would have got it without the on the nose elaboration.

#insecure hbo #issa rae #jay ellis

[cicatriselle-blog]

012417-040917

How did it start?

Who initiated it?

Why did you take her to [concert that he went to with her and his mom]?

Were you truly planning on telling me the night I confronted you?

When you came to get some water for your radiator at [my old work], were you coming from your house? (he showed up at like 8:30am, wearing pj pants, and said he was out driving…some dumb shit, idk)

Have you actually bought me Christmas gifts?

Who else knew then?

Who else knows, now?

Did you tell anyone not to tell me?

How intimate did you get?

How long did it really go on?

How did you get from “start” to her saying she loves you/you guys repeating sleeping in bed together?

How frequently were you really seeing one another?

How frequently did you lie about not being with her?

How often were you sleeping in bed together?

What concert did you go to? Did you go to [band]?

Why did you lie about just going to that free [band] concert with just [his sister]? (I saw an Instagram picture that showed all 3 of their reflections in the window of a building)

Why did you tell me you were seeing things/hearing things when you were sitting on the couch with her? (according to his sister; recurring theme of if you’re going to lie maybe don’t be saying scary stuff that I’d inquire about to your family members, especially if you’re in the same room as them at the time)

How often did you tell her you love her first?

How often are you communicating with her?

Can I scroll through your texts with her?

Where’d you go after the [event we went to together]?

Was she ever officially your girlfriend? Since when? (I later found out she was living at his mom’s house with him, so presumably yeah, and a while, lol)

Why didn’t you come clean after any of the times I asked about this/was concerned/etc?

What were you missing that drove you to pull away from me? What did she give you?

Why haven’t you gotten re-tested?

Can you connect with your therapist/get a new one?

How many dates did you go on? How much money did you spend on/with her?

Why did you take her to [restaurant] with [his sister] and not me?

What did you say when you told her? (he told me he had told her about us/cut things off/etc)

What made you decide to tell her/want to tell me?

How were you going to tell me?

Re: note [that I found in his truck when it died and he left it here for a week+], about your first day [at work], she said there are “cuddles when you get home”—explain?

Re: note, expand on her statement ”…that silly romantic part of me that you seem to adore.”

Re: note, expand on “I love showing you new places and people and having the favor returned.”

Re: note, expand on “…you tell me you’re mushy (? sic), indisputably in love with me.”

Re: note, expand on “I’m so glad to be yours.”

Did truly nothing happen on the trip?

Did anything happen over the summer?

Did anything ever happen with [his most recent ex]/anyone else over the time we’ve been together? (a lie, she confirmed later on, sigh)

Explain hickies, marks on your back? (ugh I’m such an idiot…I hate myself. he said it was from being on his back working on his truck)

Do you want to be my boyfriend?

Or perhaps, why do you not want me to be your “official” girlfriend?

Can you provide proof to me that you’re “over”?

Was her calling you her boyfriend on that photo (that I saw on Instragram a week after confronting him about cheating on me, heh) honestly the first time [she called you her boyfriend] (as he’d said)? Why’d you freak out so hard?

Why did you seriously think it was okay to take her to buy the [new truck] (a week after me confronting him about cheating on me)? Why’d she seem like you’d not just told her days prior that you were cheating on me?

Did you ever speak/refer disparagingly about me to her, or anyone?

Where have these bathroom (nudes, lol)/shirtless pictures been taken? (not at his house…lols)

Why don’t you call me princess/anything special lately? (‘Kiddo’ seems to be for everyone.)

“Look at this fucking cutie” comment (on a photo of her new haircut on Instagram) vs. you not liking/saying anything about my haircut…why?

Why did you take/post a picture of her (when you were in [other state]) but don’t take pics of me?

Why were you so active on social media with her but not me/ignore [social media] posts I tag you in?

What does a secure relationship look like to you?

For us to feel good/happy, what steps/actions would we need to take?

What really happened on New Year’s Eve/NYE Day/the day before?

Explain the “accomplice” crap again”?

How did it come to pass that you took her to the [exhibit] with [your other sister] and not me?

How did you get to that point between her “finding out” about us in July and whenever your relationship started? What did you say to her about us?

Was it really your “other friend” whose nipples you pierced? Why didn’t you tell me about it before you did it?

Tell me about test driving a vehicle with her?

You said things didn’t begin until after Thanksgiving at one point, but this is untrue according o those notes, so can you tell me why you lied about that? (and that she was actually living at his mom’s with him, yeah, mhm, siiiigh)

What happened with you being unable to help me move? What was going on?

Why did you not want to do the [app] with me?

Did you guys ever work on that table?

Did you truly not spend Thanksgiving together? (his mom told me otherwise, and yet…)

What about Christmas? Did you ever end up exchanging gifts/celebrating at all?

So, after she called you her boyfriend on that IG post, she must’ve blocked me; that picture is still there, and I see you liking her posts. Why? Explain this.

Are you able to provide proof; because otherwise I’m going to approach her about this, and can I see if? (unsure of what I was intending to add on to this)

What are your thoughts on all the things we’ve talked about doing (camping, trip, drive-in…etc)?

Will you unfollow/block her on Instagram? Can I read?

Did you really read my journal?

Why does it feel like you make little effort to see me, even for lunch, and we never seem to spend time together anymore? (sigh @ myself)

Why haven’t you gotten off [older ex who was his fiancé at one point, lol] (phone) plan?

Where is [this cat you adopted], really?

Who is [girl I don’t think exists who is apparently catsitting for this adopted cat]? Who is [a girl that does exist that his sister is pretty sure has been a longtime on-off thing with him]?

Why don’t you invite me anywhere?

Why don’t you take me to run errands?

Why has it been 6+ months since you stopped by, unannounced, to surprise me?

Where did you take her that you’ve taken me?

Where did you take her that you haven’t taken me?

What “date”/“romantic” things have you done?

Were you hanging out with her the many times you cancelled on me in October/the general fall?

Why didn’t you show up that one day you helped [mutual friend] with his car—you were going to pick me up from work, but I had to get someone to drive me home, and you ended up being with her? (according to his sister)

Will you be my boyfriend? Why or why not?

Why did you ignore me/not acknowledge me when I spoke about our “anniversary”? Do you not care at all?

How do you really feel about me?

What’s really the deal with Xmas/birthday stuff?

Thoughts on our trip? How can we save a bit of cash every paycheck?

How can I reach you in an emergency if you never pick up my calls anymore?

I’ve seen you Facebook Messenger-ing people/girls before—why do you ignore me on there?

What happened the evening of Valentine’s Day?

What’s your thought process like when you ignore one of my calls/a specific subject in a text message?

How did test driving a car happen?

Did you sleep together at your house?

Do you want to go on dates with me?

Why did you lie about the textbooks in your truck?

That night we were [activity] by your house, you seemed to get a message and then immediately “got tired” around 9:30—what really came up? (Early Nov)

Are you ashamed to be with me? Do you feel like “hiding me”/our relationship for some reason?

Do you feel you respect me?

Would you consider relationship therapy?

Can you at least contact your old therapist (for yourself/your mental health)?

Do you want to see me more? Do you miss how things used to be? Do you want to see me more than 20 minutes-0 minutes a week? (sigh)

What was really going on that day I took off work/we worked on the [car]/I cancelled my evening plans, then you suddenly had to leave at 3:45?

On NYE, why’d you tell your grandma not to mention I was there?

Did she give you any gifts? For Christmas or Valentines? [Item] or [character] necklace?

Have you been to [store we all worked at at one point] since you both quit/in the last 1-3 months? How often?

#mine #the boy #cheating #ugh #writing: other #hug @ myself

[lixis-sin-cauldron]

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS | BLOG INFO

BEFORE YOU SEND AN ASK OR COMMENT

Make sure to read this page in full if you want to contact me.

If you send a question that is clearly answered here - I will delete it with no response.

You can send it in a thousand times but you will not see a response posted or in private if I feel it was answered here very clearly.

I may respond privately, if the FAQ may have been unclear (as well as update the FAQ), but that requires an ask sent off anon. Up to you.

AGE RESTRICTED

Please remember, this is 18+ Blog. If you are under the age of 18 years old. Please, please, please do not interact or follow me. This is not for your protection, it’s for mine.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR CONT.

Real Name: Pft no.

Birthday: September 18th, 1991

Sexuality: Bisexual(Possibly Pansexual)

Nationality: American - Florida (help)

Relationship Status: …Do you really care? rofl

WHO DO YOU WRITE FOR?

Boku no Hero Academia

Frequently:

Eraserhead | Shouta Aizawa

Present Mic | Hizashi Yamada

Infrequently:

All Might | Yagi Toshinori

Hawks | Keigo Takami

Planning:

Endeavor | Enji Todoroki

Tomura Shigaraki

Considering:

Sir Nighteye | Mirai Sasaki

Dabi

Regarding the students:

I may write for Bakugo (aged up) but idk yet and none of the others really call to me.

Welcome to Demon School, Iruma-kun!

Frequently:

Naberius Kalego

Infrequently:

Planning:

Ami Kirio

Considering:

Sabnock Sabro

Andro Jazz (maybeeeee)

Jujutsu Kaisen

Frequently:

Infrequently:

Planning:

Satoru Gojo

Kento Nanami

Considering:

idfk. this shit has me crazy.  

Undertale [don’t @me]

Frequently:

Gaster

Sans

ABOUT MY WRITING

What type of content do you write?

I am F/M only so as long as it’s Female x Male-

Anything. Like - anything. Seriously. Anything. The moment I find something appealing, it goes on the ‘I could write this’ list.

From basic fluff and romance all the way to incest and rape. Nothing is off limits as far as I’m concerned. There is very, very little that I don’t go “oh, oh. yes. i should try that” for once I read it.

All characters will always be 18 years of age or over, of course.

It’s easier to ask what I WON’T wrote for truthfully.

What type of content WON’T you write?

pedophilia | bestiality | scat | vore | dumbification | lactation | pegging | mental/health disorders | spiting | vomiting

I’m also not a furry, so at best expect cat girl type characters at best. Ya know, ears, tail, meows. Also fangs and claws. Very doubtful you’ll see anymore more than animal features. No full animal people, sorry.

Actually, I WROTE a cat girl fic already. Kind of. Cat quirk.

Can you write for [Person/Fandom]?

Depends. I’ve listed who/what I’m interested in already.

For guys: chances are I’m not interested in other guys aside from those, but that can always change.

For a fandom: I enjoy a lot of content, I just choose not to write for it.

Feel free to send me an ask asking my opinion on a guy or fandom and I may end up putting him under ‘considering’ or checking it out.

When do you update?

PFT FUCK IF I KNOW.

I write it, have it beta’d (generally), and post it. That’s all the planning I got for updates.

Are your requests open?

Chances are… No.

The best way to know this is look under the basic ‘About The Author’ (should be on the left side here.) It will state if requests are open or closed.

With how I write I won’t likely take requests often since I normally always have a list of ideas I want to do.

Events are the most likely times I will take requests.

Can I be added to your tag list?

Sure! Go here or here!

The former is for my tamer content and the latter is for my dark content.

Make sure to like both if you want to be tagged for all my writing.

Please consider being a follower if you want to be tagged.

HATE COMMENTS

General comments about a fandom I’m in, a guy I write for, my writing style, etc

My reaction: *Sees its hate and does one of two things*

1) shares with friends and we laugh at you.

2) *rolls eyes and deletes*

Trust me. Nothing you say will upset me. With the stuff I grew up with? No chance.

You wrote [dark content/controversial topic]!

I did?

*gasp*

I had no idea the thing I spent hours of my life on that topic! -_-;

I’m quite aware of what I wrote.

BUT THAT’S A BAD THING!

In real life, yes.

In FICTION? No. No, it’s not.

Please remember that they are different and you have a choice on if you want to read my work.

I am not forcing your eyes upon it. (Seriously, your given consent is required to look upon my stuff. You cant not give consent with the way its set up.)

You shouldn’t write that type of stuff, it just supports-

NO.

NO, IT DOESN’T.

But-

You don’t know me.

You don’t know what I’ve been through or are going through.

I will write whatever I want.

So, leave it alone and move on.

Spend your time on something that makes people happy rather than upset yourself and others.

Seriously.

Stop it.

#FAQ

[zackandcheese]

Tagged by @chibi-masshuu to answer these questions!

01. Name three childhood cartoons that you remember fondly. The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, Dexter’s Laboratory, and this one is more recent but is still one of my favorites - Adventure Time! 02. Have you ever ridden a horse? (Bonus, have you ever been ridden by a “Horse”?) Yes I have ridden a horse but I was really little and was basically just sitting there while someone else led the horse around. (No I haven’t been ridden by anything or anyone but just you wait) 03. Is there a book/comic book you particularly enjoy.  Home many times have you purchased it because you keep lending it out? My favorite book series is somewhat new, The Magicians. I’ve only had to purchase the series once cuz I made the mistake of lending a book to someone once and never got it back so I’m not going to do THAT again. (I would do it again but will be more careful of who it is to). 04. What is something you find specifically sexy about someone you’re attracted to? A specific person or just people I tend to be attracted to in general? There isn’t really one special person in my life right now so I’ll just say...idk body hair typically is a common factor but still isn’t necessary. I like it when a guy gets excited about spending time together whether it’s going on some crazy adventure or sitting on the couch playing a board game (is that just love? Idk but it sounds good to me) 05. Have you patched your computer/laptop for the recent Intel exploits? (Bonus, do you run AMD and don’t have to worry about this?) UUUMMMMM I don’t know anything about this I’ll just cross my fingers and hope I’m in the clear. 06. Do you miss your foreskin? (Bonus, if you’re blessed enough to still have it, what is one thing you don’t enjoy about it?) I don’t remember a time when I had it but I do wonder what it’d be like to have it. I’m lucky cuz I have an okay amount still but am still circumcised so it’s not the same. 07. It’s the new year, 7 days in, have you already fucked it up? Not yet! We’ll see but I think that fucking up a new year can be turned around into something constructive so even if I do I probably won’t see it as the worst thing (hopefully). 08. Have you bought tickets for Black Panther yet? No but I do want to see it! 09. What are your thoughts on anime? I like anime. It varies from show to show but in general I think anime is pretty fun and is actually one thing that helps relieve my stress. 10. How well should steak be cooked? Not a huge steak fan but I think medium is generally good. 11. Debbie Wasserman has been spreading rumors about you.  What do you do about it? (Bonus, get imaginative and make up the rumors Debbie has been spreading and included them here.) Haha idk let it happen and just tell the truth if confronted about it? (Honestly I can’t even think of anything good enough to answer this question with sorry!) 12. What should we build first, a ship to go to mars, or a sub to go to the very bottom of the ocean? The answer I want to put is we should know as much as we can about the planet we live on and see the bottom of the ocean before branching out, but space is really cool and mars seems like an adventure. 13. Do you think we’ll see January 1st, 2019? We better. 14. Name three cartoons you currently watch, you may include anime, but don’t confuse the two for being the same. I don’t watch cartoon shows that often anymore but one of my favorite animes is Ouran High School Host Club (it’s funny and so pointless that it’s very soothing to watch), Adventure Time I will always enjoy watching even though I think it’s ending, and I can’t think of another cartoon show I watch frequently but The Little Prince is one of my favorite movies. 15. When in the shower, what is the first thing you clean, what is the last thing you clean? (Bonus, do you clean that one thing too much while in the shower?) If it’s a day I shampoo then I wash my hair first. If not, I typically start washing my chest/belly first. last thing I clean is usually my feet. (Definitely sometimes. Some days I don’t pay extra attention there for whatever reason but other times...well you know how hard it is to not.) 16. Amusement Parks, amusing or stressful? AMUSING. I have a hard time riding like CRAZY rides anymore but rollercoasters are fun and Theme Parks are really great where just being there is an experience and you feel transported. 17. What do you prefer, live music or music in some other capacity aside from live…? There’s something about live music that is so special. I saw an orchestra perform music from Harry Potter and cried like 3 times which I didn’t expect. I do love seeing music paired with something visual like a videogame with great music or dancing or something like that. Music that aides a story. 18. What’s the one song you never let anyone know you’re listening to? (Bonus, don’t tell us thus increasing the level of shame you have for listening to the song.) I don’t really feel guilty about music I listen to but depending on who I’m around I might hide that I’m listening to Cazwell because, especially to some heterosexuals, it’s hard to explain how gay it feels to listen to his music and thus how good it feels. So it’s not guilty but it’s like that the way that music makes me feel is a feeling I don’t want to share with just anyone, especially if I know they won’t share the feeling. 19. Did you have a crush on any of the boy band members for the boy band appropriate to your generation?  (Bonus, did the one you have a crush on come out of the closet at one point?) I was never really into boy bands. No particular reason but they just never did it for me. 20. Dog or Cats, which is the superior housemate? (Bonus, do you consider yourself a pup? Or do you have your own pup?) I’ve never had a dog or a cat but I would love to have either. If dog I want it to be a big dog and if cat I just want to have that special connection with it. (I’m actually going through this debate with myself whether I would fit into the pup category. Definitely something I might want to try at some point though. I don’t think I could ever have one though.)

Bonus Question: Click my URL, and ask me one question. Will do!

#about me #ask #chibi-masshuu