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#idk what else to say other than you can ignore posts you dont personally vibe with
capinejghafa · 3 years
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Idk some posts are just meant to be funny and some of you all forget that it's not always that serious.
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gb-patch · 3 years
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Ask Answers: August 8th
Well, doing big posts all together worked for a while but lately I’ve been putting it off because it takes a long time to get them done. I think I’m gonna try switching back to answering asks whenever I can fit it in and posting them one at a time instead of waiting until I’ve filled out one of these major collections.
But for now, here’s more ask answers! Thank you for the questions and for all the kind words along with them ^^.
Hello!! I'm here to ask if its possible to get  the game and its dlcs on steam and play it on android?
I’m afraid not. Steam doesn’t have Android builds on their own site and Steam is not cool with keys for other sites being given out for Steam purchases, so you don’t get the Itch version from buying on Steam.
Hello! Sorry to bother you but, I had a question, if we buy the Game on itchio do we get steam keys or would we need to purchase it twice? 
You would have to buy it twice if you want it in both places, I’m sorry. To repeat myself a little, Steam doesn’t like the key trading thing. Itch may support giving keys for another site, but the reverse isn’t doable with Steam and Steam doesn’t even really want you to get a Steam key for buying somewhere else either. So we just don’t mess around with that.
hey, sorry if this is frequently asked, but is step 4 free dlc or paid for? some of your sources are contradicting each other. 
It’s free! There’s a paid wedding DLC, but Step 4 itself is entirely unpaid.
Hello! I just had a quick question, for the Baxter and Derek DLC's will we be able to confess our feelings to them or let them confess to MC? or will it only be one way? (they confess to MC)
Both type of options will be available!
Hey there! I wanted to ask whether or not the Derek DLC is still on track to be released in August since on the steam discussion board it says it will be released mid 2021. I totally understand if it isn't, I'm just really looking forward to it! If you answer then ty! And keep up the amazing work :D 
It’s not, aha. Unfortunately, 2021 wasn’t easier than 2020 as we hoped so things are still slower than planned. It’ll come out late 2021 or early 2022.
Hi! Firstly I just want to say that I LOVE Our Life. I have played a bit of similar games but this one instantly wins for the best one! Everything about it is amazing! I just wanted to ask if Derek would ever lose feelings for MC, like if they make the deal and then MC gets with Cove would he move on? and even if you don't, after "losing contact" would his feeling fade or would he still like MC? 
If you don’t really keep in touch with him and clearly move on with your life, Derek will too and he’ll be over it. But if you are still close as best as you can be, he’ll still think the MC is special. Though, he’ll always support your relationship with someone else if that’s what’ll make you happy.
Hello! Sorry if you've answered this before but: 'How's Lee related to us? Though which momma? And does she share our player-chosen last names? Also, do you know if Noelani took Pam's last name or did it happen the other way round? 
She’s related to Pamela and Pamela’s last name is the one they use, so the MC has the same last name as Lee.
Will we be able to choose which (they or he) we tend to call Qiu by more often, or will it randomly change depending on the moment? 
Qiu knows which pronoun they’re comfortable with at a time and you’ll call them what they’re happy with. And it doesn’t change between lines, it takes multiple scenes or even full Steps for it to switch. So for extended periods Qiu will be totally a guy or fully agender.
Will Step 4 of OL2 have moments?
It’ll be an epilogue like it is in OL1, so it won’t have a bunch of different Moments.
Hello! Just a quick question, is Sunset bird from OL1 based on a real location? If so what's it called? I wanna visit it +_+
ps i love your games so much <3
It isn’t based on one specific town you can go to, but there are a lot of little coastal towns in Cali that have a similar vibe!
Heyaaa ( I hope you're all well ), umm… it might seem kinda stupid to ask but did Patreon members can have a key for the dlc's ( all the steps-released dlc ) even if they became a member this month or later ? (me? saying this cuz it's my case? maybe ;-;), and once again thanks for absolutely all the amazing works on all the games ! u-u 
You wouldn’t get the DLCs for backing there. The Patreon is for extra bonus content/early access, rather than being a storefront to purchase the normal DLCs. Rarely we give them out as a side gift, but it hardly happens and if what you want is the DLCs it’s best to ignore the Patreon and  buy keys for those directly from Itch or Steam. I’m sorry for the confusion.
Hey y'all, love what youre doing w/Terry. Trans rep outside of player customization is so rare and important to see more of so thank you so much. I do have a question and its that does he have a canon sexuality? I know Miranda was said to be straight ace but I dont believe anything was stated for Terry probably because he wasnt revealed to be a guy which changes things. Im also curious if well get answers on how long hes liked Miranda since he may have liked her in step 3 before she liked him 
Terry likes women and Randy likes men! And he did like Miranda back in Step 3.
Will the Wedding Dlc release at the same time as Step 4? 
They’ll come out separately with Step 4 releasing first.
I really love Our Life so much! I've spent over 20hours playing it even though I only got it a week ago! I was wondering if I could make a fangame for Our Life with a different love interest but same plot. Next-door neighbors romance, multiple steps, etc? I'll probably make it on Google Slides though- 
Sure! I hope you have fun with it and I’m glad you love the game.
How does Cove feel about poly relationships? 
He’s got nothing against them for the people they work for, but he’s 100% monogamous and would only be comfortable with a partner who was willing to be monogamous with him.
Idk if this has been answered before but will Step 4 include the option to advance your feelings towards Cove? 
Yep, you’ll be able to determine your feelings and what your relationship is.
In step 4 will there be a chosen to say we live with Cove even as just friends? 
Yeah, you can choose to live with Cove and that can be done when you’re friends.
I just played the game with the MC and Cove being best friends and omg it’s still so damn cute like the wholesomeness of it all is too much for my heart I swear ^.^  Now with that all said I was wondering can we still marry Cove? if we only love him as a friend like let’s say we’ve made deal with him similar to the one we can make with Derek because let’s real no one could compete with what the MC and Cove have even if they aren’t in love. 
It’s great to hear you enjoyed the friendship story! You can live with Cove, but you can’t marry him platonically. Cove has familial affection for the MC if they’re best-est friends. He wouldn’t think to marry someone he loves like family and even grew up with as though they truly were siblings.
Are you still going to be making a DLC for XOBD? :] 
Yes! We’re slowing adding voiced lines and fixing errors.
It makes me laugh that Shiloh's last name is Fields because that's what I put as my last name! So in Our Life when he talked about "Ms. Fields" picking him up I was extremely confused, lol. That dude mimics personalities so much that he stole my surname!
Oh, wow, that’s a very funny coincidence, haha.
hi !! i cant seem to be able to get the scene where mc is able to propose to cove despite being at the 'love' stage and telling him i'd want to get married, are there any other details that im missing out on? the options just dont appear at the end... 
Maybe you missed telling Cove you were in love with him even if you mentioned wanting to get married or you might’ve accidentally said earlier in the game that you don’t want to progress your relationship further with Cove. We haven’t removed them, so you can get the scene again. It’s just kind of easy to miss since there’s multiple requirements. You can read a little guide in the FAQ.
wait what di you need to do to be able to propose to cove? I've been trying but haven't had much luck 
You can check out the FAQ linked above!
does cove only develop a crush on the mc if the mc is also at crush/in love with him? 
Technically, yes. We treat the non-romantic relationship options as truly non-romantic since we don’t want to bait and switch people. But there’s nothing wrong with headcanoning that Cove does have feelings developing for the MC even before the MC has.
Is there a way to make/allow Lee and Baxter to date?
No, they just don’t have enough time together.
We also got a group of asks related to Tamarack in OL2, but I’m afraid the way they talked about people with larger bodies made me not want to post their words, even if the person didn’t say they’re trying to be hurtful. I will separate out the core question and answer it though, so people can know that info.
Does Tamarack lose weight in later Steps?
No, she doesn’t. As for the other questions included, to be honest, I don’t have to explain/defend having romance options of different sizes. I’m sorry if you’re dealing with unhappiness that’s connected to body image, if that’s where the negative emotions are coming from, but even so I can’t meet you on that level and pretend it’s a problem that needs an answer. A girl who simply isn’t thin being a main love interest is just not an unreasonable concept. Also, Tamarack isn’t a lesbian. Yes, she can date a female MC, but that doesn’t undo her actual sexuality, so I’m not sure where that one part at the end was coming from.
I wonder... can we "fight" with Qiu over leader status? 👀
Not really, haha. No matter how cool your MC is, they’re never gonna replace Qiu for the other kids around. So you can either partner up with him, follow him too, or not be a part of all that group politics stuff.
So when I play the game, sometimes I mentally call Cove “Covie/Covey” and that made me wonder, how does Cove feel about being nicknamed? Not like Romeo/Space Cadet/etc. but like pet names relating to his actual name
It’d depend on his age, personality, and your relationship with him! When he’s younger he’d probably be embarrassed, when he was grown he’d probably be more casual or happy about it.
will you be able to date baxter in step 3 while at crush with cove (but not dating him ofc) sorry if this has been asked already. i really love baxters step 4 design btw!! 
Yeah, you can be crushing on Cove and date Baxter if you weren’t already dating Cove. You just can’t be truly in love with Cove and then switch to Baxter.
I just got my friend into our life, and they adore shiloh and derek sooo will there be more of them in the second game? 
I’m afraid not. But you can see plenty more of Shiloh in XOXO Droplets/XOXO Blood Droplets, haha.
I see you haven't gotten any xoxo droplets asks recently but I'm still obsessed with these boys!! I was just wondering if Nate would curse under any circumstance? 
Yeah, Nate does use certain swear words (damn, hell, bastard) on very rare occasions.
Hi there! I have a question about the wedding dlc. Will we be able to plan a honeymoon during the planning stages of it or would it be something that Cove and the mc would rather plan later on? Thank you! Absolutly love the game by the way, definitely one of my favorite games! 
The focus will be on the wedding day itself. The topic of the honeymoon might come up a bit, but there won’t be any choosing of the exact location and such.
Hi! I have two questions and it's completely understandable if you only answer one/neither and I'm sorry if you've already answered either before! First, is there a set year in which OL:B&A takes place (ex: Step 1 being set in 2010 & Step 2 being set in 2016, etc.) or is it simply up to interpretation? Second, have you guys thought about doing a coming-of-age game where the MC has a tough home life or upbringing? (like one of their parents is an addict, a parent being transphobic whilst the player has the option to be trans, or having friends that are influencing them to do drugs, etc.) That's all! Thanks for making beautiful games. <3 
There is a set timeline!
Step 1: 2006 Step 2: 2011 Step 3: 2016 Step 4: 2021 
And we don’t currently plan on making a game like that. The Our Life series exists to be a safer environment for people to play around in and if we did do a brand new series that was harsher edged it’d be something more fantastical and/or plot-driven instead of a different type of modern day slice-of-life growing up story. I’m sorry.
i don’t know if you’ve already answered this, but do you have a guess on when phase 4 will come out? as well as ol2? i’m so excited for both of them, the inclusivity in this game is amazing, you guys should be really proud of it! 
Step 4 will be coming out very soon! OL2 is gonna take until 2023 to be anywhere near completion. But we might episodically release the Steps one at a time as they get done instead of waiting for three to be finished before launch like we did with the first game.
Hello, I was curious if there was an official or unofficial discord server for the game? 
We do have a discord! You can join by clicking this link HERE.
how long do you plan to keep ol's patreon running? 
Hopefully for at least a few more years.
Are you considering ever making merch? 
Yeah, but I don’t know when it’ll happen or what exactly we’ll make, aha. It’s something we want do, just nothing is set.
hi! i just found out about your game a couple of days ago on tiktok (so sorry if you’ve already answered this question) and i was wondering if y’all are ever planning to release it on iOS? 
I have no idea. It’s hard for a small group to get Apple approval and I honestly can’t say if it’ll ever happen or not. Maybe someday, though!
Hi, I love the art style of Our life and I would like to know if the artist has a Twitter? Also, could it be possible to fund more CGs for the game from him/her? So many times, I wish there was one like when the cutscene of the sunshower. 
That’s nice of you to offer. He doesn’t have a Twitter, at least not one that’s public enough to be shared with me. And I’m afraid not. The issue is that the CGs take huge amounts of time rather than there not being a budget for it. He’s gotta make CGs for Step 4, the DLCs, and new character sprites, too. There isn’t space in the schedule for even more. Sorry for that.
Hi, how are you?!
Are you planning on accepting new writers or is it always the same people who write your stories??
Thanks!!
Our Life: Beginnings & Always won’t be getting new writers, but we will be hiring a new team of writers for Our Life: Now & Forever eventually!
perhaps this counts as nsfw and I'm sure it has been answered before but what does Cove prefer, chests/boobs or butts? or perhaps both :3c thank you for this wonderful game (and the patreon bonus moment, it was worth all the waiting and more ♥) 
He’s a “chests of all shapes and sizes” kind of guy, haha.
i was wondering- did any of the writers actually grow up by the beach? as someone who's lived in a beach town all their life it really did feel nostalgic to play through our life 1 
I was born and raised in Cali! Though, not right by the beach. We still had to make trips out, but the setting is based on my own childhood memories of small beach towns we went through.
In Derek’s upcoming DLC, will we be able to reference the pact we made as teens? (love olba and xod/xobd so much btw you’re literally amazing) 
Yep, you will be able to talk about that!
Oh, sorry about the Cole being secretly L ask, then!
If you wanted context: Death Note is about this one guy who finds a notebook that kills anyone who you write the name of in there. The guy eventually develops a God Complex and starts mass killing criminals and stuff. L is the one trying to find out who is killing all these people.
Me and my sister first joked about it because I couldn't remember how to translate a word about the way Cove was sitting, so I just did the pose, and it looked a lot like how L himself sits! Then we just snowballed from there, with more and more nonsense connections.
That’s okay! Thanks for explaining. I’m sorry I didn’t know what you meant.
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daphnefms · 4 years
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hi and hello   !   i’m t and i’m so excited to be introducing u to my little daphne   …   we love to hate her and we can’t help but love her. she and i will both just be tryin’ our best out here honestly so feel free to like this or hmu if u’d like to plot, i’ve got a few ideas kickin’ at the bottom of this post but i’m also more than happy to fill out one of urs if u’d prefer it   !   without further ado, hit that read more to learn a lil bit about america’s sweetheart and behind the scenes terror daphne santos
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oh my god ! @daphnesantos just liked my tweet ! you know , they’re the actress with 13.2m of followers ? i can’t believe they noticed me .  seriously ? you’ve never heard of them ? what … are you living under a rock ? they’re daphne santos , and they’re twenty two years old . i’ve never met them , but the tabloids all say that they’re gregarious and altruistic . it’s kind of sad , though . ever since they moved to downtown los angeles from stowe, vermont, they’ve become really irascible and mendacious . some say that wrath has become them . i’m not sure if i believe that . there’s more than what meets the eye , right ? they’re more than just at wide and empty eyes, screaming into a pillow searching for release, & tear stained cheeks after spending another night alone in a hotel room, i know it !  ( kelsey merritt , cis female , she/her ) .
name   -   daphne marisol santos
birthday   -   october 23rd ( twenty two years old )
birthplace   /   hometown   -   stowe, vermont
profession   -   actress
movies   -   lady macbeth, 2017 (   katherine   ), midsommar, 2019   (   dani   ),   little women, 2019   (   amy marsh   ), etc
labels   -   the amaranth, the babydoll, the blackhole, the charlatan, the hellion, the paradox
positive traits   -   gregarious, altruistic, charming, articulate
negative traits   -   irascible, calculating, mendacious, haughty
likes   -   sun showers, crowded parties, prolonged eye contact, cool summer nights, sleeping on satin sheets, the moment before stepping out of the car for a red carpet event, ornate and gaudy accessories, classical music dominated by the string section, reaffirming compliments, being told she is not a bad person, waking up early for a day of work, renaissance art
dislikes   -   sleeping alone, being underestimated, appearing weak in public, losing attention to someone else, sitting still for too long, intense humidity, bad reviews, stumbling over her words, stepping on cracks in the pavement, people seeing her cry, talk show interviews
biography
daphne was born in the   ‘   ski capital of the east   ’   stowe, vermont. a town of just over four thousand people, the expectation of her excelling in an acting career was almost non-existent. but she was certain of her talent and she knew there was only one thing she wanted from life, so she moved to LA fresh out of high school and got to work with small jobs, slowly building up to her first truly big break with lady macbeth
after that she began her rise to real stardom, filming midsommar and little women and racking up nominations for a variety of awards, including the academy award for best supporting actress. that being said, she’s won few of the awards she was nominated for, always a bridesmaid never a bride or whatever, and that’s weighed on her pretty heavily.
all she can see is this conception of being the best, being beloved, and a lot of that lies in producing exceptional work and perfecting a public persona that makes her the height of elegance and someone it is impossible not to be a fan of
big ol’ fake right here, she never really lets anyone see the real her, the girl who snorts when she laughs and and panics before every interview, and she tries not to keep anyone too close because it’s just another opportunity for scandal
so that’s some intense pressure, which leads to the explanation of her sin   -   wrath. daphne’s prone to fits of rage, tantrums when she’s alone in her hotel room, rambled rants in the makeup chair between takes, profuse apologies afterwards. she’ll smile in front of the cameras and make you regret it in private, i promise you.
she’s not afraid to use people for her own benefit, but she has this way about her that makes you feel semi-grateful you even got the opportunity to be apart of her larger plan
hasn’t kept close contact with her parents since moving, they weren’t in love with the idea and she was not going to allow herself to be held back. she justifies ignoring their calls by saying she’s cutting out negative energy
has been trying her best for so long, doesn’t remember what it’s like to feel normal, just has a bunch of pent up aggression and sadness but it’s fine she’s fine
wanted connections
someone she’s known since the beginning of her career, maybe they used to work on smaller projects together or go to the same auditions while they were starting up, but maybe there’s a lil bit of a connection there bc they knew/liked one another before the fame and now they just vibe together
imagine the potential of two people who bother each other so much and then eventually start to see the good in one another but it’s complicated but hey we’re both on this elevator so why not kiss but then the door opens and it’s ur floor and i don’t get off and we don’t see each other for a week and when we do we pretend it didn’t happen bc we just started being friends and then who knows ... just a thought
exes ? maybe they were in love maybe it was just pr idk
surrogate family   !   since her parents are cut off she does need someone to love and care for her a lil bit and also to reciprocate that with she’s not completely heartless
enemies  /  rivals, someone who’s constantly trying to best her and with whom she is trying to do the same
publicity friendship maybe ? they hangout on occasion bc they know their fans are obsessed w them being friends and love a good photo op but lowkey dont like each other
that’s all i have but hey .. we’ll figure smth out if u don’t like those
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casually-inlove · 5 years
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aah i agree im vry disappointed in this chapter ! like its good like usual, but its kind of a let down after the last 5 chapters... ht rly exposed himself minutes before, and comedy aside, MGS answered him by ignoring him, and then saying "were not friends, were not as close as you think we are". it must have been hurtful for HT, its basically a rejection of recognizing HT vulnerabilities. and its totally In character for MGS to say this, so im not disappointed by it 1/?
i mean HT lay his heart down for Mo to see and theyve known each other for 15 DAYS, its too soon for anybody and especially for Mo who have mistrust problems to respond in the same way ? so running away and deflecting the declaration is cool, i wasnt excepting a "ill never abandon u!!" lol. but then HT being cool with this rejection and having a slapstick comedy just after doesnt feel right. mb show HT swallowing and being disheartened, and then put his usual facade and only then have comedy 2/?
would have been good, bc we would have known "oh ht is actually hurt by MGS reaction but doesnt know how to say it, so he plays it cool and change the subject bc hes still not at ease with being vulnerable". a realistic situation would have been "ht tried to be vulnerable but it was too soon, too much for mo who rejected him, so it confirmed ht biased thinking that showing vulnerabilities is bad and it will prevent ht to be vulnerable in front of someone in the near future". 3/?
i mean it could have been a nice although sad conclusion for this mini-arc, especially since ht have been grieving (?) his mother just this morning. a little step back, and then smth else happen and cause ht to crack completely but then mo is able to respond present and its a step forward. ok im daydreaming but that would have been climatic lol. instead this..ah i dont know i feel cheated, i know its ox' work but still haha ! like when they do an abrupt change of scene after an emotional page 4/
its a trick ox use often and after 300 chapters it feels old n cheap. when u engage in a emotional scene, u cant just do "oops i change my mind!!" and put slapstick comedy or ignore totally what just happened and dont have a progression. u have to stay on this road : u cant put traumatizing backgrounds and mafia affairs and mature problems (kidnapping, mother being threatening into prostitution,etc) n just.. not stick with it and making ur characters not traumatized by it and just 'lol comedy'.
sry im kind of monopolizing ur askbox lol, i guess im kind of frustrated ! it just the last chapters were so good and it was a while since ox use this cheap trick of not going through an emotional scene that i kind of forgot how terrible they were at handling transition between drama and comedy. theyre a good artist all in all (or i wouldnt be this disappointed!!), but they have this failing in their writing an it drives me nuts each time lmao. haa i hope next chapter will be better...5/5
Hell yeah, DEFINITELY, that sums up my thoughts. Also, you don't have to apologize, it was an interesting read and I can tell that you feel strongly about it. While I can’t say that I’m flat-out disappointed, as I wrote in my original post, I’m definitely feeling lukewarm and indifferent about the recent ch.
OX touched upon a few serious matters a couple of chapters before: namely She Li’s fucked up goading and the way it unsettled He Tian -- unsettled in no joking manner as follows from his reaction. Then we get He Tian swearing to beat up anyone who dares bully Mo, and the whole profound monologue from the previous chapter. Just as you say, He Tian truly laid himself bare there. One could argue that He Tian listed the reasons he was enamoured with Mo, or one could argue that he subtly commented on the milieu he grew up in, or one can even read it as He Tian admitting/reflecting on his flaws out loud. There are many ways to construe this scene, each of them is extremely meaningful. Not to mention it took HT visible effort to say these things out loud.
The problem which both you and I noticed is that OX left this mini-arc/mini-subplot unresolved. Instead, they abruptly switched to comedic relief. Much like you, I wasn’t expecting a big reaction from Mo -- no grand verbal declarations at very least. What I expected was a panel (maybe a close up of Mo’s face as I mentioned in my original post) that indicated he actually HEARD what HT told him, that it gave Mo some food for thought. 
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As you mention, Mo getting disconcerted and doing the tsun-tsun escape is fairly in character for him. Still, a panel like this would have been very welcome to emphasize his confusion and to justify him not gracing the other boy with an answer, ignoring HT showing his underbelly (which is something that doesn't come easy for him, as we readers know). Okay, sure, OX handled it differently this chapter -- we get Mo silently running away and blurting out the first comeback he could think of. No problem. It works to show that HT’s words had an effect on him, albeit it’s much less pronounced, than, say, the Aquarium scene -- again one would have to wonder why: HT’s “don’t abandon me” is just as strong, if not stronger, than “I’m afraid you’ll forget me”, so it follows that Mo should have been just as affected.
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The problem is the way an emotionally charged moment quickly fizzled out into comedy. As you said, Mo blurting out “we are not friends, we are not familiar enough, so I don’t care what you think (of me)!” SHOULD have hit HT harder. Just minutes before we had HT being genuinely disturbed by the idea of someone looking to intentionally hurt Mo, seeking physical comfort, being disquieted by the idea of getting abandoned and losing someone he likes, confessing that he admires the other boy -- yet when Mo utters yet another curt rejection of sorts, we are not shown HT’s reaction, which, logically, should have been there. 
And all of that emotional build-up is cheapened by an accidental dick slap comedy. 
Indeed, showing HT being hurt (disquieted? deflated?) and then putting on a cool guy mask, and ONLY then switching to a slapstick humour would have been more appropriate. It wouldn’t have taken a big or an overly dramatic scene either -- just, IDK, show HT’s eyes widening, or his throat clicking, or his posture slumping, anything to indicate that Mo’s words affected him -- that the whole thing mattered to him. Otherwise, it leaves a bad taste in one’s mouth: “so Imma confess to the person I like and swear to protect them and beg them to put up with me -- oh! forget anything serious that I said, Imma touch some dick now”. While I don't have an issue with comedy coming into focus again, I do wish it hadn't been this abrupt. Had there been a better transition between these scenes, there wouldn't be this "lol jk" vibe that I’m getting.
So yeah, I, too, feel a little cheated. OX certainly has an issue with drama-comedy transitions, which are sort of hit-and-miss for me. Sometimes they work well to alleviate the grave mood, other times they appear to be out of place. The recent chapter is the latter case. Dangling a possibility of climatic resolution for the subplot and then intentionally subverting it just doesn’t work in favour of the plot here. It cheapened the emotional part and made the comedy feel much less fun for me. Of course, no one says that writing is an easy task. Plenty of mangakas, for instance, work with writers to strengthen their script and plots, so it’s challenging when a single person is responsible for both drawing and planning the story. OX is undoubtedly doing a tremendous job. Still, I wish they wouldn’t stick to using the old trick this monastically because it's becoming a trite writing device and works against them on occasion. It’s totally fine to keep the comic light-hearted yet it’s not good to ignore the needed dramatic development.
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honeyfreckled · 5 years
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we have talked a few times and im sorry for this but you are the most accepting and easiest person to talk to honestly i dont have many people in my life i can tell anything real to. but the thing is ive been thinging about relapsing a lot more since i broke up with my boyfriend and i work with him so it makes work depressing and impossible to get through a day without crying sorry this is anon but i am scared ily dont hate me i am not trying to stress you out
ok wow first lemme just say: I DO NOT HATE U. EVER. 
and don’t be srry i don’t have a lotta ppl irl i can tell my shit to so i get it. pls know u can always ALWAYS ALWAYS come to me, and u dont gotta be scared to come off anon. i get it and it’s ok if u prefer it that way- but pls know i dont keep it on alot bc i get hate and then i turn it off bc i gotta look out for myself and dont post all the hate bc i dont wanna bring yall down or give them the satisfaction of knowing i have given it a read and response. so u can message me or make a sideblog or idk im just saying this so if it’s off later u dont blame yrself or feel scared to come off anon. ok sorelapse is a real thing and it’s fucked and hard and addiction is fucked up and a real life struggle and we dont treat addicts w the real tenderness, respect, kindness, and acceptance they deserve. but u DO deserve it. and there are hotlines, apps, churches, groups, chatrooms/boards, and sites that are more versed in what are the appropriate things to say to u- i say this bc while i’ve been thru it w loved ones i have not myself struggled w addiction w substances. my addictions were to self harm and victimhood so those are the things i searched for help on. but if it’s alright i’d like to give u some tips or things i used and have heard work for addicts of substances
places like i said like churches, groups, chatrooms, sites, apps, hotlines the apps and hotlines are good if u cant travel or want to talk to ppl who wont share their story bc maybe u cant hear it like its not the kinda help ur looking for. hotlines are sometimes tricky bc some of those folks are not educated they are volunteers so judgment leaks thru and in that case u ask to be redirected and report that volunteer so hopefully they dont repeat that kinda mess to other vulnerable folks looking for help
make a list of things, anything. list of foods u like to order, list of things that make u clench yr teeth, what were yr fave gifts you’ve ever got, style icons of urs, hobbies u tried that annoyed u, movies u can always watch, places on yr skin u hate being touched, any list of anything it doesnt have to be the usual thing of “what to live for” bc when yr depressed those kinds of things arent easy to think of. but if u get a list going of like “best things ive ever touched” “sounds that make me laugh” “trends that were stupid af” “popular things that i didnt like n couldnt figure out why they were popular” “weirdest ppl ive met” well those things might get u on a roll of good memories or laughing or seeing that theres more to yr life than what has been occupying yr thoughts
dancing. dance in yr room in the dark. clear some space. put on some headphones. lock yr door. do it in the shower. just dance. i had to start w closing my eyes and picking songs that i was taken by emotionally. songs that made me jump and slamdance tbh and then it’s just gotten more and more something im not as ashamed w. i spent a date night w james just dancing and then we ya know ya know bc the dancing got so wild. now i make playlists of songs that set moods for diff kinds of dancing
watch shows w ppl who arent doing better than u. they dont live in fancy places, they dont do much w their lives, they dont dress better than u, they struggle, they arent eating good food u dont have access to. iasip. freaks and geeks. letterkenny. undeclared. jake and amir. tpb. the state. youtube. tiktok/vine comps. lots of these kinds of vibes on youtube
podcasts. improv comedy podcasts tbh saved my life. comedy bang! bang! has best of’s those are good ones to start w. improv4humans bc matt besser has great guests of some of the best improvisers out there and he has musical guests and they’ll play a song and the improvisers will use it as inspo for a scene
make things. moodboards. pinterest. playlists. fill a shopping cart and tell yrself “i’ll get it when i win the lotto and move away from anyone who knows me so i can be the me i wanna be w/out judgement” make tea. make a meal if u can. make yr bed. clean one thing. clean the sink. hang some clothes or go thru yr drawers and clean them out. throwing things out feels hard at first but then it’s nice bc u feel less bogged down
find something to throw yr obsession at for a bit. something that wont hurt u as bad, being obsessed in general isnt good. everything in moderation irl. too much of something is bad just as much as too less of it can be bad. but yr looking for something lower risk here and if u gotta be obsessed w a celeb or a song or a food that’s ok. yr focusing the energy on something that isnt a substance so be proud of it
give yrself a break. give yrself some credit. everyday isnt gonna be on the “best of your name here’s days” but sometimes u just live to live bc that’s what u do. u wait it out and get thru it and wait for the sun to come back out. and if u cant get outta bed. or if you hate yr job and wanna scream- that’s normal it’s more normal than always being happy ppl just dont like talking abt bc society kinda trains us to hide our fucked upness idk why but thats how it is. they dont wanna tell us to do preventative care until we’re in the pits
all in all- it comes down to (at least for me) not planning w an endgoal in mind. it’s not over til it’s over and rlly we dont know. it’s all fluctuating and not meant to be a finish line we cross and then suddenly we’re done and we dont suffer anymore and the feeling of shit is gone or the risk of relapse is gone and the depression is cleared away never to be seen again. it’s not realistic. bc it isnt real. on the real- risk is always there and the downs and ups mix and run together and depression is not curable (this isnt something to be miserable over tho) depression isnt curable, yeah ok, but it is manageable. it can be quieted down from time to time and if u keep up w yr healthy routines and coping mechanisms- depression will still find its way to u bc the real world is not something u can manage. death in the family, loss of money or job, car breaking down, sickness outta nowhere, depression grows wild when these very real life stressors come into our lives. but all that too eventually gets easier and easier at least from a “ok i have some distance now” standpoint. and then as those days get more and more btwn it u can then be like “oh wow, ive made it thru X amount of days! ive put up w it this long! whats one more day, whats one more week, hell might as well see how much prouder i can feel once ive got a year under my belt!” plus u will be more capable of handling the bullshit if u know u can still find some safe places in yr coping skills or friends or resources.
ok so this is prob a mess but bottomline know this:
I love  you and i will be here the best i can should u ever wanna come spill or if u need me to just send u pics of my dog or boring pics of knickknacks or selfies or memes or links or anything just tell me what u need and i will try my best to show u my love. i hope u can see that u reaching out is just already a HUGE major step in the right direction, give yrself credit! thats amazing! yr already doing it pumpkin look at u! it’s hard ik. but i also know if u are capable of saying u have this problem going on, u are capable of getting thru this. u are a light in the world. u offer goodness and u offer yrself and that’s enough. even if yr fucked up right now- u are contributing to the world by simply being u. there is literally NO ONE ELSE WHO IS YOU. so u are unique by definition. i hope u get something from this post and if not i hope it strikes an idea or thing u can do that will help. i hope u know im here and i hope u see this.
i am sending u all my light and love and good vibes and i can’t wait to see or hear from u again. u are never bothering me, a burden, or stressing me out. tbh it stresses me more that u might be struggling and not telling me or anyone. i dont ever want u to suffer in silence bc u feel guilt or scared or anything. u deserve to have a place to voice yr shit. im here to listen if u do wanna tell me anymore.
everyone else-if this helped or if u can think of anything that might help anon or anyone else- feel free to reblog and get some good NONJUDGMENTAL advice or tips and tricks going, but please please please remember to not come off as judgey or flood it with your drama. keep ur drama out of this post so anon or anyone else doesn’t get triggered by it. 
and dont ignore my rule and do it anyway and then say some shit like “ik u said not to but i think this will help lol sorry” like we need this post to stay on this vibe that i set in motion and not a struggle contest or dick measuring or all sad personal reminiscing. go make yr own post for that this is NOT the space.
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ohlukcs · 4 years
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                                                          – task 001 : ooc survey
YOUR ALIAS & NICKNAMES — sam !
AGE — 22
TIMEZONE — aest babey
PREFERRED PRONOUNS — she/her
MBTI — um i have no freakin idea except definitely introvert, i would do the test but i woke up like ten minutes ago so i am no functional enough for that rn lmao
HP HOUSE — now listen i wanted to be a ravenclaw when i was 11 so i believe i have to stick to that, based on my values and who i think i am now i think it’d be more hufflepuff but 11 yr old me wanted to be the smartest bitch around so im a ravenclaw 
ARE YOU A STUDENT? WHAT DO YOU STUDY? — i used to be, i graduated last year i studied film and television
ARE YOU ENJOYING IT? — ya! it was a lot of fun and i got to make a lot of cool stuff ! made a film that won best student horror at toronto short film festival so that was really fucking exciting
LINKS TO OTHER ACCOUNTS & SOCIAL MEDIA — im @spookyrps and on weheartit and pinterest 
DISCORD USER — im scared of bots so not gonna put the whole thing but im skelesam in the chat 
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE FICTION GENRE? — horror, thriller, anything crazy and ridiculous and fun. starting to like comedies a lot now too but it really depends on how its made
TOP FIVE FAVOURITE FILMS — oh boi um booksmart, the martian, whiplash, god help the girl, and the scooby doo movie. theres a million others i could put there but im just gonna go with the first five that came to mind or else i’ll be here all day (special shoutouts: bad times at the el royale, hereditary & midsommar, the new it movies, jennifer’s body, clue, the barkley marathons, harry potter series, se7en, and the saw franchise)
A BOOK YOU FEEL “CHANGED” YOU? — the night circus by erin morgenstern
A MOVIE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? — the room lmao
WHAT IS YOUR SIGN? — aquarius babey
ARE YOU INTO ASTROLOGY? — i dont like follow it but i do like to read up on them and use the signs to help build my characters (eg. lukas is a scorpio and drea is an aquarius too)
WHAT PLATFORMS HAVE YOU ROLEPLAYED ON? — almost exclusively tumblr but i was in a forum rp back in like 2009 or something lmao
WHAT OTHER HOBBIES DO YOU HAVE? — i do a lot of stuff based around film making, like everything from script writing/reading, production design, filming, editing, thats what i love to do. and i wanna be a gamer but i have a shit computer and very limited hand eye coordination lmaoo
HAVE ANY PETS? IF SO, TALK ABOUT THEM! —  ya ! i have a black cat named zelda who is admittedly a lil .... thicc. i love her so much and she barely tolerates me. she grooms me and my roommate bc i think she thinks she’s our mom and like she is tbh
IS THERE A TV SHOW YOU RECOMMEND A LOT? — search party, its so fucking good and funny and crazy and i love it. if u like zany comedies with a lil mystery, its really fun. big broad city vibes
ANY SHOWS YOU LIKE SOME MIGHT BE SURPRISED TO HEAR THAT YOU DO? — um i dont think so, i think i’m very predictable in my media consumption lmao
WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? WOULD YOU RECOMMEND IT? — bro its been so long since i finished a book, i think it was the miseducation of cameron post by emily m danforth. idk if i would recommend it, i think it depends what ur after from a book bc this was VERY DEPRESSING and threw my little bi ass through the ringer lol
CURRENTLY READING? — jonathon van ness’ autobiography over the top: a raw journey to self love (im rlly enjoying it so far)
LAST FILM? REC IT? — not technically a film but i watched unnatural selection on netflix last night and it fucked me up and i need everyone else to watch it so i can talk about it
THREE MOVIES YOU NEED TO WATCH — gattaca bc of the unnatural selection viewing lmao, the cat and the moon to support my boi alex wolff, and knives out bc it looks so fucking good i wanna see it so bad
WHAT MOVIE DO YOU THINK YOU’VE SEEN THE MOST TIMES? — harry potter and the philospher’s stone probably. i used to watch it multiple times a year and now i watch it at least once
WHAT ALWAYS PUTS YOU IN A GOOD MOOD? — watching my fave stand up comedies lol. go tos are john mulaney and bo burnham
WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE MUSICIAN / BAND? LIST IF THERE ARE MORE THAN ONE. — all time fave is the front bottoms but a more recent fave is rex orange county
WILD NIGHT OUT OR QUIET NIGHT IN? — quiet night in 
ANY PHOBIAS? — not really
DO YOU LIKE BUGS? — fuck no but i dont really lose my shit over them
BIRDS? — they can chill, except for emus fuck them
ARE YOU A CAT OR DOG PERSON? BOTH? — more cat than dog but i want a dog rlly bad
BIGGEST PET PEEVE? — being talked over/ignored lol
FAVOURITE THING ABOUT THE RPC? — that i’ve met and become friends with so many cool people from all over the world ??? like what the fuck ???
TOP TEN FAVE FCS TO USE? — i mean obv at the moment its alisha boe and alex wolff, but also love liana liberato, benedetta gargari, joe keery, really love using all the skam nl fcs, lili reinhart, oliver jackson-cohen, zoe kravitz, and probs a million more i just cant think of
FIVE YOU LIKE WRITING AGAINST? — literally all of them bye lmao
FAVOURITE TYPE OF FOOD? — i luh me some pasta ok
WORST FOOD? — seafood lol i’ve never eaten it and i probs never will
DO YOU PLAY VIDEOGAMES? IF SO, WHAT ONES AND ON WHAT PLATFORM DO YOU PREFER? —  i play a lil and wanna play more! atm i have a ps4 and i like to play a lot of like “””decision making games””” (until dawn, detroit become human, etc) but mainly i play graveyard keeper. currently saving to get a pc so i can play more
ANYTHING ELSE YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE WITH THE TAG? — i said something about the barkley marathons before and i would just like to say netflix took it down recently and i haven’t recovered i feel like pure shit i just want her (the barkley marathons) back x
LASTLY, HOW DID YOU FIND US? — i follow a couple of the admins from my ooc blog and saw it was back (after never having time to join any of the other iterations of lockwood) and was like fuck it yk
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xonemi · 3 years
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Bored So I'm Here to Rant
4 o'clock in the morning. I have been sleeping all day yesterday, and woke up around evening time. I saw my typewriter keyboard and have realized that I haven't been using it much.
Reasons for not using it. I mainly use it to type on my journal app called One Day. I haven't been able to do that because the journal app One Day is an iOS app and is not available for windows. My current laptop that I have is a Windows laptop. My Mac laptop that I have is being borrowed by my sister who lives far from me. Oh well.
I could just get a windows journaling app, but as it turns out I looked up the best journaling apps and Day One was number 1 and the next best one that can be used on Windows you have to pay monthly for premium. I am not paying for another journaling app. I already paid a one time deal for Day One.
Anyways, my rant is not about that. My rant is about pyramid schemes. In today's techy world, I am amazed people are still being BAMBOOZLED into pyramid schemes. Like hello? Google that shit maybe? Idk.
Look, I understand that not all pyramid schemes are scams, but they are still fucking pyramid schemes, which just doesn't seem right to me. BUT WHATEVER.
So I had a coworker friend who asked me to go with him to this "business" meeting with him. I thought it was just his aunt trying to sell some random crap. I know there are some people out there who need to do presentations on selling a product but they don't actually need everyone in the presentation to buy the product.
My initial thought was okay, go to this so called business meeting, listen to the presentation and then leave. But boy was I fucking wrong.
Days before the business meeting, my friend sends me and a group of people a link about the product. I look up the company, and I see articles about it being a pyramid scheme.
Already my mind is closed off. Like there's no way in hell anyone is going to get me into some damn pyramid scheme. I don't care if he is a really good friend, there is no way in fucking hell.
I stopped doing any more research because that is all I needed to know. Pyramid scheme. Nothing else will change my mind. But I still made a promise to my friend that I would go to this meeting, so I didn't back down.
Friday, I had to do overtime at my work. My plan was to only work 8hrs so that I could get some sleep because the stupid meeting was in the morning.
The weekend shift didn't have a properly trained person working the laboratory so the shift supervisor asked if I could stay the whole shift which was 12 hrs and ended at 4:30 in the morning.
I was livid, not because I had to stay but because someone who actually works that shift, is always going home early. I wanted to go home early, but couldn't yet this mother fucker was allowed to? And what makes me more mad is his reasons are lies. One time he used the excuse that his girlfriend's grandmother (who lived with him and his gf) was depressed and needed his help. If she really needed help, why the fuck is his gf partying it up? Posting vids on social media of her drinking the night away. It just fucking makes me so mad that this fucker gets away with anything… It's not my shift but still... Whatever.
Back to the pyramid scheme. I worked until 4 am. Got home and went straight to bed. I was hoping I could sleep through the morning meeting because I was so tired and I know that my friend won't be mad because he knows I worked until 4:30.
He ends up calling me after 9 am. I somehow wake up. I ignore the call cause my eyes literally wouldn't stay open. He leaves a voicemail saying that it's okay if we arrive at 10. My subconscious is starting to feel guilty. I did make a promise and I hate breaking promises. Since he said 10 was okay, I got up called him back and said okay I will leave now.
This foo goes, "don't leave yet because I still have to pick up our other co-worker, that way we could arrive at the same time."
I should have taken that moment to go to starbucks and get breakfast and coffee because what happened afterwards was just a shit show.
I get ready and leave after 10 mins. My GPS says I will arrive at 950. I get there and my friend calls me. He asks where I am at and I tell him that I was at the location already. This mother fucker tells me he's barely on the way. It will take him 30 mins to get to the location. LIKE BRUHHHH. Are you fucking kidding me?
I'm tired. I am a very cranky person in the morning. I am definitely not a morning person despite working 1st shift for 6 yrs. (I now work night shifts) I was fuming mad. But I stay calm. I look at instagram for awhile, I try to stay awake while I wait.
20 mins pass and this guy tells me that his uncle will pick me up and that I should just go ahead without him. This mother fucker gives him my phone number (I don't want calls from these people in the future, I might have to change my phone number.) and calls me telling me where to meet him. He takes me to their like lounge eating area. I sit there for almost another 20 minutes. My friend arrived almost fucking 11. They go to different area. Turns out the presentation already started. Thank goodness I didn't go there from the beginning. After 10 minutes of listening to the guy do his presentation, I was already over it.
This guy had no good selling points. I was squirming in my chair the whole fucking time. My other coworker brought her 5 year old son with her and he was dying of boredom. I looked at him and was all "you and me both man"
I really do believe that their product works. It seems to be a legit product. But that foo wasn't selling the product, he was selling the business. I am not an entrepreneur. Although I like money, I do not have the social skills to go around selling a product and a pyramid scheme. So this presentation was not geared towards me. I wanted to leave so badly.
The guy's selling point was that you had to pay $2500 and get 4 other people to pay $2500 and you could start making $500 a month. And from there it could only go up. First of all. I do not save money. I am a spender. There is no way I have $2500 in the bank on hand. That's not me. I barely have $300 at most, most of the time. The only reason I have actual money saved right now is because I am waiting for my speeding ticket. That is the only reason I have money right now. Once that speeding ticket is paid, I am back to being a broke ass bitch because I will more than likely spend the rest of the money left over after the ticket is paid.
Looking around the room during the presentation, the people there were mostly people over 50. Only me, my friend were under 40. It just blew my mind that they were all just very into the presentation. I felt like I was in a cult or something. They were really buying this dude's sell. Which understandably, I could see it. He made it seem easy to earn money through their program.
It really did seem easy to earn millions in a year. But this is where my problem lies. You have to go out there and recruit people. Recruit people to pay $2500 so that they can recruit people to pay $2500 so that those people could recruit people to pay $2500. Those older folks, could easily find people to spend that kind of money because they're old and probably have savings that could be used to pay that $2500 and have cultivated lots of friends, but me? Someone who has limited friends, who is shy, hates any social event, like bruhh, you're barking up the wrong tree here.
The second guy who spoke in the presentation, he was even worse than the first guy. He said "i'll make this short. 10 mins top." This fucker speaks for another 30 mins. Only stopped because the afternoon session started walking in.
He went on to talk about the types of people you needed to recruit. He used an acronym... He wrote EMPOWER on the board. So this is the type of person you need to recruit. E for Entrepreneur M for Motivated, P for positive, O for Open minded, W for Willing, E for Enthusiastic, R for (i forgot, i legit started tuning him out after awhile because I was bored and hungry and sleepy.)
First of all. My friend made the wrong choice in trying to get me into this. Even until now he is trying to convince me.
If there's one thing you should know about me is I am a very negative person, and the funny part is my friend knows this about me. Why he thought I would be POSTIVE here was actually a surprise. Open minded? YEAH NO. FUCK THAT. There is no way in hell I will ever be open minded about Pyramid scheme. I was open minded about their product, but definitely not their business structure. I am the type of person who loves to spend money on myself and others, but NOT ON PYRAMID SCHEMES. And then there's WILLING. Bruhhh I am so fucking lazy. The fact that I was willing to go to this business meeting in the first place was already too much for me. How many times I almost tried to cancel. If he wasn't a good friend to me, I would have done everything in my power to get out of it. But yeah me willing to put in any effort on a pyramid scheme is soooooooo not going to happen. Enthusiastic???? HHAHHAHAHAHHAH I had a sour face the whole time. You aint going to catch me be enthusiastic about any type of pyramid scheme.
I dont know. I still can't fathom why anyone would join a pyramid scheme.
A few hours ago my friend messages me before he went to sleep saying he was sorry he knew that I didn't have much sleep. I was fine. I just love to complain a lot (part of my negative vibe I am trying to put out into the world) anyways, I went to it that's all that matters to me, that I was able to keep my promise... but then this foo saw my "pyramid scheme" story on social media, and he sends me a video link titled "Is *COMPANY NAME* a scam?" I didn't watch the video. I went straight to the comments section. Of course the top comments are from "users" and "reps" of the company boasting about how great the company and the product is. All the way at the bottom was the real comment. The commenter said something about how the person on the video didn't mention anything about the company and their business structure, he was just selling the product. So was the video link my friend sent me proof that the company isn't a scam? NO. I never told him I thought it was a scam, i merely mentioned it was a pyramid scheme, and like I have said somewhere in this post that not all pyramid schemes are scams... I just don't like pyramid schemes.
Anyways, Pyramid schemes aren't for me. Nor will I partake in any form of joining them.
Side story which is funny and stupid... I didn't want my friend to look bad so I went straight to that stupid meeting without eating breakfast... when the person came and took me to the lounge area, they had donuts and coffee provided, my dumbass thought they might have put their product into the donuts or coffees so I didn't eat or drink anything there. hahahahha. I feel bad for my friend if he actually joined, hopefully he will be able to bamboozle someone else. that isn't me. He shouldn't tell our coworkers if he tries to recruit someone else from work that I went to that meeting, because let me tell you, there's no way I am lying to them. I will tell them not to join. AHahahhaha
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jewel-s-blog · 4 years
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about me + bias list
 hi there, I’m jewel :)
she/her/hers ・ 20 ・ kpop (writing) blog
Yes, Jewel is my real name although my parents admit I was supposed to be named elizabeth but changed their minds last minute after I was born how cute and I’m currently in university. I study political science and japanese for those wondering (because yes, I am japanese and it’s helpful when you live in hawaii to have that degree yk?). If any of this stuff is even mildly interesting and you have any curiosities, pls feel free to ask me!
I try to write some things when I can, so feel free to take a look at my masterlist. I also read A LOT of fics on this site, so also peep my recs if you feel like it. Warning: its mostly fluff and angst and almost always includes smut but there’s some really good stuff worth reading still! 
Feel free to talk to me :) i don’t have any kpop friends irl :( all my friends are locals smh 
I try my hardest to be active as much as possible but it’s taken me over a year to finally get used to tumblr lol marklee and i both struggle with complex technology i guess Of course, there are times when I get busy with college and will probably seem to drop off the face of the planet exam season kills but now that I’ve been in quarantine for a month, I figured now is the best time to start building an active tumblr routine. 
That’s all for now! Keep reading below for my bias list :)
xoxo, jewel <3
Bias List 
Before I begin, I will warn that this is basically a giant NCT shxtpost. With LOTS of hyperlinks for educational purposes and absolute crackhead-ery. I’ll eventually make a separate list for other groups I stan, but this blog is mainly NCT and this is already so long so I’ll leave it as this. Enjoy!
Biases are bolded in the beginning of each unit, so you can skip everything after if you don’t wanna see my ramblings following it.
A/N: After biasing nearly every member in NCT/WayV I’ve settled for now on my biases for each unit. This will most likely rotate fairly regularly as I literally fall in love with a different member every day cited here. solo stan? I don’t know her.
ULT
Jaehyun  *ahem excuse me i mean* 
Johnny Suh, it’s official. Don’t know how to explain, but I love everything about him. In the end, it’s always him. damn i sound like y/n thoughts but istg it’s true From SM Rookies to NCT Life to MV behinds, he’s the one. But I’ve also come to realize that I find myself most relatable to him as a person and I think that’s why no one else can trump him wow narcissist much jewel It’s kind of just my gut feeling. It also helps that hes the fluffiest tall, muscular tight booty hottie on the planet. See this black on black dance practice for further scientific explanation even in this jaehyun trying to wreck me so badddddd
Not gonna lie, I HAD IT BAD FOR MARK LEE still do and yet Johnny overcame that. If mark lee were my first love, johnny is my soulmate.
UPDATE! 
Lee Jeno has officially been added to the ult list. *See the entirety of my april activity on my sns accounts if you would like to see how this happened haha :)
NCT U  
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im in love with him bc he literally reminds me of my boyfriend -- i like chill guys ok
Taeil is my little teddy bear who looks great in red hair and has a voice form heaven. Evidence? Here you go. He didn’t stand out to me much in the beginning because I was either deaf or blind but after Chain, the game was OVER. +moon taeil in shorts?? serve them thighs honey. Love you bebe tomato <3
BUT Doyoung is the #1 bias wrecker here because have you seen his cover of beautiful on masked singer?? have you?? if not, let me educate you. Also his collab with Sejeong?? Literally the cutest MV ever, perfect for Christmas, listened to it every year since it’s release.
Listen to Coming Home - NCT U for further scientific evidence that NCT has top vocals in the kpop industry.
NCT 127
THE Jung Jaehyun. For reasons that need no explanation. but ill give it anyway smh
After watching the performance of herin and jaehyun singing a whole new world I knew that was it for me. (I still watch it once a month for my jaehyun-related health and to honor SM’s biggest loss, seo herin and ji hansol but thats for another conversation) back to jaehyun His vocals are unique in NCT and bring a nice color to their songs, the man looks good in literally anything, and I’ll probably say this about every member, but I love his dance style--body rolls for days sis. Definitely my ideal type, which my boyfriend is 100% aware of; no secrets in my relationship ofc which explains the wreckage. Pretty sure 81% of the fandom gets wrecked by him daily, so I think I’ll stop here. 
NCT Dream 
Renjun.  why? i just think he’s neat but no really, it was this performance (ok actually this got me ALL SORTS OF WRECKED) and this fancam that had me falling in love with him but were gonna ignore the fact that I get bias wrecked DAILY by all the other members  GOd-tier vocals, personality for daysssssss, variety KING HUANG RENJUN. Safe to claim that I go into renjun feels about 3x a week. Check my twitter for proof. +dnyl renjun was a blessing and I sometimes cant believe that it actually happened. How do I explain?? He’s literally the best boy, but when he gets all worked up....let’s stop there before I have to go to confession again.
But for fun, lets list why I have biased every dream member at some point shall we? (in no particular order) Dream might just be my ult group, songs always bop, members at star quality 
mark- yes i am including mark bc he was the reason i even started stanning dream dreamies leader since mmc days, mentor, A1 rap skills, ad libs go crazy, unparalleled dancing style, hardest worker, cutest watermelon advocate ever, all around amazing person can you tell he used to be my ult? + he’s a good christian boy and my catholic *ss has to confess my sins for being a simp for him 24/7
chenle- vocal GOD, most steady live vocals in kpop, laugh to die for
jeno- i cannot resist his eye smile i wanna cuddle and onstage charisma-2:54 “let’s goooooo” and i alskfdfjlkdldkfa. 
jaemin- “other than my members, i don’t have any friends” and yet he’s literally the most caring and wonderful little puff in existence fight me pls dont im a pacifist 
heachan- idk why but donghyukie feels like he could be my best friend and also cant stop staring at him in their dance practices his body proportions are unreal and his vocal ad libs?? don’t even get me STARTED on heachans vocals
jisung- he is my son, but also my son’s vocals?? MWAH that voice got me second guessing if he’s really my son 
WayV 
Ten Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul another member where it kinda just....happened? In the end I was like “damn, when did you sneaky bugger get in my heart?” He’s got a similar vibe as Johnny AND DO NOT COME FOR MY THROAT FOR SAYING THAT THATS MY OPINION Like Johnny, I see myself in Ten. There are so many reasons why I love Ten, so I’ll make it simple and provide them to you. 
Reason 1 - Performance/dance  he just hit different, he’s THAT good. Reason 2 - vocals the amount his vocals has improved?? UNMATCHED. Reason 3 - INTELLECTUAL (still trying to find the clip of him talking about different kinds of love) Reason 4 - multi-lingual KING ok so this vid is him struggling in mandarin, but imagine, you speak thai and english and learn korean to debut and all of a sudden your agency says “ok learn chinese now.” MANDARIN IS ONE OF THE HARDEST LANGUAGES TO LEARN. Reason 5 - bad b*tch he just radiates bad bitxh energy in everything he does, and I appreciate a bad bitxh
BUT I love wayv’s chaotic energy and chemistry so much that I literally love them all dreamies watch out 
+special shoutout to xiaojuns vocals in Love Talk
+kun being a dimpled zaddy (jaehyun&kun type CONFIRMED)
+lucas holding binoculars like THAT @ 1:10
+yangx2 doing THIS (prepare to be blown away)
+hendery being a the best teacher 
+winwin BEING WINWIN THE DANCE GOD 
+winwin AGAIN and with Ten here i don’t even think i have to say that i tweeted about this everyday for a month and im still not over it. This specific dance really allowed winwin to shine even though ten is my bias. It really allowed others to see the fruit of his classical training even in modern dance which he never trained in. Not gonna be repetitive and SCREAM  say that he’s underrated, because we all know that already. Just show winwin some love, ok? thank you.
And so finally, we’ve reached the end. Phew, this took me almost 5 hours to put together because I definitely got carried away. For those who made it all the way to the end, thank you, I love you. It’s so messy and I don’t have the mental capacity to do anymore editing but I hope you got something from this massive post <3 Feel free to let me know what you think! xoxo, jewel
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briteboy · 7 years
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yelling @ santi, i’m evil again (what else is new), SOME REALLY REALLY OLD ASKS, one GoT spoiler at the very bottom (beware)
*angrily slaps santi* GET YOUR SELF TOGETHER YAH POOP HEAD
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Lou and Fiona deserve happiness pls let it happen ty
they do ;-; it will happen, don’t worry, no one suffers forever <3 i’ve actually been planning out lou’s story and i’m excited to actualize it hehe
I just read all of Santis story. Dear god, it is amazing. I cannot begin to describe how much I love it. I have been really sick lately and have such a hard time concentrating on anything for more than one second but I have not been able to look away from this story, not even when I re-read it for the third time. You are an amazing writer and I have fallen in love with every charachter you have introduced. I teared up so many times and my heart began beating fast, it was really an experience.
OH MY GOD ;___________; YOU READ IT THREE TIMES WHAATDOSOIGODFSKL holy shit thank you so much, i don’t even know what to say right now lmao ;-; i’m just kinda in awe that i was able to grab your attention like that and that you enjoyed it so much and just askjdjfsd THANK YOU i can’t say anything else but just thank you, people like you make this all worth it <3 
A case of the novembers is the kinda story you read and you just know its going to stick with you for awhile. Like ones day, you'll be long gone in the future, doing something totally different, older wiser, all that bullshit, and you'll just randomly remember what a bittersweet story it was.
OMFG ;___; holy heck asjdjnfkdkjs this really got me right in the heart lmao. that’s the kind of story it’s always been for me and seeing other people interpret it that way as well is just mind boggling, thank you <3 
You are evil. My poor heart hurts. ;______________;
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you've ruined my life
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Life hack: listen to the entire Hamilton soundtrack whilst working out at the gym. By the end of it, you'll have lost half your body weight due to sweating and crying at the same time (pls help this was such a bad decision)
OMG that’s me with grimes’ art angels lmao i go hord to kill v maim and venus fly
hamilton fans also go hord i respect it. learn more about history get swole killing two birds with one stone
Okay this is so fucking random but a while ago you did a post where you talked about perfect bby gianni saying that he spent a lot of time in introspection and like Thank you 'cause now I have a word to put on this thing I do when I try to figure why I feel certain things or what my relationship with people/random shit is and why and yeah I kind of understand myself a little better now so thx a lot!!! 😘😘😘 Also, you're great.
i think i was actually talking about santi (’cause that’s where we’re at right now, in that period of introspection for him heheh) but YES omg that makes me so happy ;-; it’s a good word lmao and i do the same thing, in fact i’m always trying to figure out my relationships with everything in order to understand myself more. that’s kinda why i’m so into astrology haha. i’m glad you finally got to pin down that feeling for yourself, it’s the best when that happens <3 YOU’RE GREAT TOO 💫
NOOOOOOOO MY FAVS THIS CAN'T... LOU.... SANTI PLS... THIS IS A RIOT 😭😭
let’s start protesting santi in the streets
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Hi!! Umm I'm guessing you do but just in case, did you know there was a tear accessory? I think it's an eyeliner (cause you mentioned having to draw them yourself)
yeah i do! i mentioned the ones by s-club, i’ve used those a couple times. but i like drawing them myself because i feel like it’s weird to have the same single teardrop every time one of my characters cries (and we all know they’ve been crying a lot lately lmfao) if they didn’t cry often i probably wouldn’t feel compelled to draw the tears. but i don’t mind drawing them honestly, it’s kinda fun lmao. thanks for your consideration <3 
so im sitting here thinkin....... what if santi goes on this trip and coms back and lou is in a relationship!?!?!
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👏santi👏get👏it👏together👏
HE’S TRYIN
i want to die
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AAAH SOLE DEVELOPMENT BETWEEN CUTE DEVIL CHILD AND I ALMOST DIED TWICE TATOO MAN YES
I HAD TO READ THIS LIKE THREE TIMES TO UNDERSTAND IT LMFAOSDOJDKF BUT YES their relationship kills me the most ;__;
wait santi tried to kys :'(
WHERE U BEEN he did  :{
what font do u use in your histories?
arial!
hi u have a really pretty blog and I hope you have a good day
THIS IS SO SWEET I DON’T DESERVE IT ;-; I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY TOO HONEYBEE 🌻
nyooooooom
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I WENT M.I.A FOR A LITTLE AND I COME BACK TO READ UP ON THE STORY AND HOW DARE YOU ASHDDJFKL
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@teishajenaie on instagram looks like Rooney to me, idk if you'd agree but ??
i see it!! definitely in the eyes and nose. also sorry i answered this literally like 3 months later lmao
gooey by glass animals gives me santi vibes :) ive been listening to it on repeat (bc im tht bitch) and it was making me think of you and his story! c: i hope you dont mind me over here lmao anyway, im excited to see where it goes and real excited for a back story for lou!! <3 lots of love
omg haha that’s actually funny because i used it in that one scene of him tripping, although it’s like completely a gianni song to me (at least personality-wise, it’s even on his playlist on my character page) and noooo i don’t mind, i love that song and i love when people recommend me songs!! i have a whole bunch of recommendations in my inbox that i need to acknowledge omg. anyway I’M EXCITED THAT YOU’RE EXCITED, especially for lou’s story, it’s coming up reeeeeal soon <333
i feel so late to the party but i Just started reading your story like five minutes ago and im absolutely entranced by it already and i cant wait to catch up and finally understand what to heck is going on
this was sent literally forever ago when santi and molly were out there being wild in the desert lmao so i hope you caught up and everything. “entranced” omg that’s such a wonderful word i’m honored
i didnt think i could love you more but the fact that you watch arrested development makes me so happy. i cry. my boyfriend has a mr manager, bluths frozen bananas shirt thats literally my favorite thing ever.
OMGGG YES i watched it once forever ago and i need to re-watch it asap lmao. I’M PRETTY SURE I BOUGHT THAT SAME EXACT SHIRT FOR MY BROTHER FOR CHRISTMAS ONE YEAR
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Just a biiig prank. Huge
this one is from so long ago i don’t remember the context but i laughed at loud when i read it. huge
i was playing with uncharted for the first time today and they said Navarro in it and i was like THATS MY BOI SANTIII
santi infiltrating everyone’s lives my bf played uncharted tho!! it looked cool. like indiana jones. i liked the marketplace part. a monkey stole his apple
Hi sunny! I really am in love with your story (even if it's tearing me apart at the moment) and just wanted to say you're cool Stay strong ma dude
HI THANK YOU <333 you’re also cool my dude and i’m sorry for tearing you apart (if it makes you feel any better this story tears me apart on a daily basis)
what packs and expansions do u have for ur game?
ummmmmm all of them except vintage glamour and fitness stuff. i wish i didn’t buy some of the stuff packs lmao but what can ya do i actually didn’t even get vampires or bowling or parenthood until like a month ago lmao i’m late to the party
Oh shit she's been dead hasn't she. Like this is all a drug or alcohol infused bender of mollys memory, she's probably never left. They're probably still at the hospital. I hope I fucking wrong but shit I also hope not. Poor santi
we’re so far past this but i just wanted to publish this anyway lmao it was a good theory! and this person was so sure of it it kinda made me wish it was true lol. sorry if that disappointed you but i’ll always remember this one in my sad sad heart 💔
how long did it take for you to make friends here? I started a simblr because I really like storytelling with my sims & I thought it'd be fun to meet people who enjoy that, too, especially since I don't have many friends irl...but I've been here for quite a few months now and it seems like no one even cares that I'm here....everyone I try to interact with pretty much ignores me after a message or two....I'm just feeling really discouraged about my presence here :/
I’M REALLY SORRY I DIDN’T ANSWER THIS SOONER ASKJDKJFSDKA (i’m sure it didn’t help the fact that you feel ignored, i really really hope you see this) but okay uhhhhhhh i only had acquaintances from 2015 up until like this year? then i started really becoming close with people. so it took a while lol, but i think everyone starts off slow because it’s mostly about the actual game we’re playing at first and then making friends just happens through that. don’t get discouraged, like i said it took a while for me. you really just need to reach out to the people you’d like to become friends with, reply to their posts, give your genuine thoughts, say something that’ll make their day...people notice that no matter what they have going on, i promise. i hope you’re still here and hanging in there. don’t get caught up in who’s talking to you or not talking to you, just do your thing, enjoy what you do, and people will notice you. <3
3. Hi so I just wanted to say that I love your story, I'm here for every update. I'm an s3 player I play s4 every once in awhile but s3 has my soul. I love Santi and I know he will be happy in the end, whether it's with Lou or not(hopefully it is tho) I only want him to be happy. I go through so many emotions in one post, like this is a tv drama and I can’t wait for the next episode. This is the end of my cut and paste. Have a nice day.❤️
HI HELLO <3 this is so sweet and i can’t believe you actually care about my story lmao thank you i’m glad you have faith in his happy ending, i don’t want anyone to think i genuinely like making my characters suffer lmao. i only do it to make the happy ending more satisfying. asjdfjksd comparing my stuff to film or tv always makes me so giddy so THANK YOU ily <333
"Suicide before you see this tear fall down my eyes" (Beyonce) reminds me of Molly's situation soooo muchhhh aaaahhhhh
OMG YES what a good connection. good song good connection yaeeahhh better call molly with the good hair
Ummmm... hello! I just read through your whole story with Santi and I'm like... holy fuck. Not only is your story wonderful, your editing is so good. I'm surprised I didn't shove my eyes up against my computer screen. Please continue making wonderful things and being great. Signing off 12:31 in the morning, I hope you have as much fun as you want to
“as much fun as you want to” omfgasdkngjd why did that make me laugh so much. don’t have too much fun, have the responsible amount of fun anyway HELLO thank you soooooO much ;-; pls don’t shove ur eyes up against the screen i’m almost positive that’s not good for them. but i appreciate this so much thank YOU for being great <3 signing off at 2:18 in the morning after ignoring this message for months now (i’m sorryyyyyyy) but um ily
HELLO??? I JUST READ A SERIOUS CASE OF NOVEMBER FOR THE FIRST TIME AND I'M LIKE CRYING???? y u do dis to me I hate you and love you at the same time
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(I need to rant I'm sorry) My uncle is really positive towards the army and war and stuff like that and all day he's been going on about how it should be mandatory to serve in the military, especially for "little brat girls" like me? And it's stressing me out so much I want to cry :( The army and war is something that genuinely scares me and I don't want anything to do with it, but he's just going on and on! What should I do?
this is literally sooooooooo late and i feel so bad i’m sorry, i hope this still helps you out and i hope you see it tho okay. i’m pretty sure this was even before the trans military ban like whew idek what your uncle must think about that. tbh just ignore him, like i know it’s hurtful but like...what is his point in telling you this? i would’ve literally been like (sarcastically) “ok then sign me up” but i’m also a lil shit so that’s probably not the best thing to say. but really like the only thing he’s trying to do is feel powerful by means of expressing his militaristic (no pun intended) opinions to someone far younger than him. it’s so that he feels bigger and better than you (especially by calling you a brat). he’s a sad man and anyone who relies on the military, of all things, to shape a person probably doesn’t have a strong sense of self anyway. i love you okay, just ignore him, don’t let him stress you out <3
I'm a little high and it's late but I have a lot of courage now so I've been following you for a while and I just want to tell you how much I love your story! I have come across other places on tumblr who do this but none have captured me as this one did! You are amazing and I am in love with this story! Thanks fo being you! :)
ONMG YOU HAD TO BE HIGH TO SEND THIS LMAO that was me this weekend anyway thank you so much, it floors me every time anyone says these kinds of things to me and it never gets old ;-; you are so amazing ok <333
you can't possibly be offended by a homophobic joke in game of thrones, it's set in medieval times. they had several lgbt characters in it, it's not the show that's homophobic, it's the characters, which is accurate for that time period.
o i can and i will lmao i mean i get where you’re coming from but with that logic you could say it’s only accurate to put homophobic jokes in today’s media just because people are still homophobic in the time live in. i know it’s the characters, but you do understand that someone writes those characters, right? it’s bad writing. it’s lazy and pandering and because of that it’s offensive. idk if you know the exact dialogue i was referring to but it was so completely unnecessary lmfao. they could’ve made a million other jokes. regardless of how it offended me it was just BAD lmao
SPOILER BELOW OK DON’T SAY I DIDN’T WARN YA
@ I wanna watch GoT anon: don't. It's just so fucking bad. The definition of overhyped tbh (and btw, sunny, PLS HELP HE SCREWED HIS FUCKING AUNT WTH)
LMAO SOMEONE ACTUALLY AGREES WITH ME? wow bless u. it is definitely overhyped, like it was good at first but it’s been riding that hype through these past couple of seasons to disguise the bad writing. i understand being entertained by it, but i’m always surprised when people think it’s actually well written at this point...it’s so cringey and now thanks to the season finale this fanbase will be justifying incest. great!
OK MOVE ALONG NOW
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winterywitch · 7 years
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I just want to say that I really admire the depth you put into your OC's and your confidence in talking about them! I'd like to learn more about them, but I'm on mobile and it isn't letting me search the tags, so... are there any W@tchtower Grotto characters you haven't talked much about that you'd want to talk about?
oh!! ;-; gee thank you.......................
uhhhhhhh gee idk why but it feels like i dont have an actual comprehensive post on who/what nana actually is bc most of my friends know him very well already? so here’s that
hes like... early 30s?? in terms of appearance/maturity, hes the godking of the country in midnight
nana is uh... certainly a rebel at his core thats one way to put it, a lot of core things about him for better or for worse challenge the status quo. he thinks this is a good thing 100% of the time, like he’s some kind of radical rebelling against an oppressive norm on every single norm he challenges. (its not)
he is RIDICULOUSLY people-smart, hes likely an empath and could easily be called a genius when it comes to reading people and understanding how people tend to work.
if he were a dnd character he’d be a sorceror, he casts from charisma not intelligence [though he is certainly NOT lacking in that department]
hes definitely considered the leader of his little commune of kings [involving desiderius, hachi and kyuun], those three tend to defer to him and seek him out for advice [well. they mostly Used to now its just hachi that does that last part]
he sees himself as a teacher and guide to people, which isnt inaccurate necessarily!
hes very good to his people, his country as a whole is doing pretty well financially, there’s a vibe there of everyone taking care of one another! not to mention the fact that its lovely visually
he’s right about most things and he’s comfortably aware of the fact that he’s right about most things. but hes open to being corrected! he cant possibly be right about everything ALL the time!! he just has to consider you an authority on what youre talking about, which is something he very rarely considers other people to be, or he might just ignore your correction. but sometimes he wont, which makes you feel kinda silly for pointing out his tendency for hypocrisy! how confusing. it’s hard to keep up with this one.
he, like all of his colleagues minus desiderius, thinks he is the only Good King while all the others are complete messes who dont know what theyre doing or are just flat out bad people. but like, yknow, its a fucked up dysfunctional family! that’s totally normal, right??1/11
something about him just makes you think “theres a guy who knows his shit,” its probably his sturdy [outward] confidence, his [appearance of] wisdom, his [very real] intelligence and his long list of supporters that make you think that about him
his hair is weird as shit! there are ‘stars’ in it that glow, not BLINDINGLY bright but i mean yknow, they do glow, and where theyre embedded in his hair theres increased physical sensitivity. pulling on this guy’s hair fucking HURTS, even petting it can be uncomfortable if youre not really really careful. not to mention a fucking haircut, good lord (haha)
his parents were kind of like... very emotionally shallow, they were the sorts of people to be like Oh I’m Fine ^_^ at everything, and in subtle and hard-to-detect ways, they would punish nana for showing emotion of any kind (for example, laughing at him when he would cry at sad things as a child). because of this, he is now very open about his emotions and embraces them as something he should listen to and follow rather than only relying on cold logic as his parents tried to have him do. (its a lot more sinister in practice than it sounds, because yeah most of the time it is innocent like this but at the same time, he takes his own feelings VERY seriously and if you hurt them, even if it’s just by having boundaries, he will identify you as someone mistreating him or even abusing him depending on how close you are]
[heres where we get into The Shit, big tw for abuse, csa/pedophilia and “marital” sexual abuse/assault]
his closest friend and advisor arya kurosawa has been his best friend since they were both teenagers. they met when arya was 14 and nana was 17 [in terms of appearance/maturity are what those ages refer to, they were both immortal] and they got along very well.
of course by very well i mean on top of getting along very well, nana has ALWAYS had an inherent, base-level disrespect for arya’s boundaries. it’s been there since they were teens, and it mostly manifested in nana pressuring arya to do [mostly innocent - but the pressure and coercion made them not so innocent] things he was scared to do.
they were inseparable pretty much ever since they met and VERY, very in love with each other
they definitely were a romantic item by the time nana inherited the throne from his mother, and the age gap was definitely concerning but it only grew more concerning as nana’s mental/appearance age rose because he was growing up emotionally and psychologically and arya’s... stagnated.
when nana was in his early 30s so to speak, arya was stuck at 14-15 or so. and like... they didnt really see anything weird about that, they figured “well we both met when we were kids so its not like nana is a pedophile or anything, why question something so good?”
to someone who didnt know better wrt age gaps in romantic relationships and pedophilia, the relationship between those two would have looked completely normal and healthy. there was certainly an appearance of mutual respect, support, love and commitment
nana could only treat a 14-15 year old so much like his equal. to be totally honest, even since they were teenagers, nana treated arya like his inferior, like a student that needed to be taught, and that dynamic only grew/got worse as nana aged mentally.
but at the same time arya also taught nana so many things! see? nana wasn’t some condescending prick! obviously everything is fine. there were a lot of ways sometimes in which ARYA was the adult and nana was the child ^_^ so it’s equal, right?
arya certainly didnt know any better, nana was the love of his life and that was all there was to it. he knew [because of nana] that any discrimination they might face due to their ages in this relationship was simply unfounded, cruel bigotry from a species of essentially cavemen who were afraid of fire. he knew he was progressive for his time, in a couple decades probably everyone else would come to their senses too!
long story short, one day arya very quickly, almost violently realized EXACTLY everything that was wrong. nana’s condescending behavior had come to a head and someone arya considered a playful rival had forced him, very painfully, to face the truth of what this relationship was: abuse from a man who should know better, taking advantage of a boy who didnt.
arya couldnt exactly love nana after realizing this. and it really fucking sucked. he really wanted to go back to the way things used to be, he wanted to “undiscover” what he’d discovered, but there was no way back and he felt so broken and dirty and ungrateful and bratty and selfish for suddenly feeling this way.
nana on the other hand noticed arya very suddenly averse to being touched or held or even looked at. for a while, he was very understanding about this - what that playful rival did was essentially cast a spell and at first he thought arya was just sick or physically not well or something, and that he’d get better soon.
he didn’t.
nana didn’t know what to do. suddenly arya was neglecting him, acting like he was terrified of nana. he’d never been like this before, what happened? it’s incredibly painful and confusing, losing the love of your life like that; one day you’re everything to them, and the next they’re flinching every time you raise your hand around them. nana had never hit him or abused him verbally... in fact, it was nana who HELPED ARYA gain the strength and courage he needed to become independent from his emotionally abusive parents. so why was nana suddenly the bad guy? he had no idea what happened, why, how to fix it, or anything like that.
eventually he snapped, unable to take being deprived of love and attention like this, so he just took whatever he wanted, physically, not caring what arya thought of it.
he knew it was wrong. he knew he’d definitely crossed the line into objectively unforgivable actions. but he was almost too afraid to stop and relinquish this power over arya, because then he had to A.) lose arya, and B.) be held accountable for his actions. both two very terrifying things he saw no personal gain in.
that went on for a long time, until nana sort of... slowly realized he was feeling weaker and weaker, more prone to physical weariness dizziness, severe headaches and nausea, and he didn’t put 2 and 2 together until it was too late.
arya had figured out how to start poisoning him and getting away with it.
by that point, nana realized not just what was happening and why, but also that he unquestionably, factually deserved this pain and much, much more. that realization was too much for him, it sort of broke him psychologically for a very long time, leaving him completely helpless to whatever revenge arya decided to take on him
[it was all physical and psychological torture, but arya was certain NEVER to stoop to his level and sexually abuse nana. he couldnt even think of sleeping with nana “consensually” anyway, it made him horribly sick to even consider]
eventually after a long-ass time of this, arya just got sick of looking at nana and couldn’t even be around him anymore without feeling absolutely god-awful, so he just abandoned nana, leaving him to fester in his broken body and mind
and y’know, stuff happens after that, but thats all there really is to the most prominent phase of nana’s development in THIS story. i also play him in his phase of development after that last bullet point [roughly 200 years later], where he’s fucked up in all kinds of ways and totally deserving it, but also trying to... not really redeem himself or anything like that, he knows that’s not really a thing, but rather to make himself useful to good people who want to do the right thing, in a dnd campaign
nana goes through a SHIT TON of changes, to the point that each phase of his development has his own individual profile on toyhou.se, he’s become a Big Trauma Coping Character for me and somewhat an experiment in redemption arcs, seeing what exactly should happen and how to make “redemption” arcs seem not cheap or forced
here’s the one i talked about in this post though
http://toyhou.se/335049.nana-of-the-stars
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jasonbrennerold · 3 years
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wyd if i told u to do 1-38 👀
the ‘be honest’ meme / @afterburied
ok below the cut bc this is a Long One
1. What would prevent you from following someone?
generally speaking just kinda if our writing doesn’t mesh? but also on different blogs i have different kind of vibes if you know what i mean? like here on jason i’m not likely to follow historical/extreme fantasy blogs if they don’t have some form of modern verse bc i just don’t see him in those settings, i also tend to avoid anyone who says they dont like multis/ocs even if it doesn’t apply on the blog im on bc uh we love multis and ocs here. sometimes if a blogs new i wont follow, but sometimes i will it just depends on the vibe lmao. sometimes aesthetics/etc will play a role but mostly it’s just based on rules/meshability
2. Are aesthetics important to you? If they are, why?
yes and no? like i won’t shun anyone for having “bad” aesthetics or anything, but i hold my own personal aesthetic to a higher regard? like, if someones aesthetic makes things unreadable/impossible to navigate then i hate it, but like i don’t care about other peoples aesthetic that much. if it’s pretty i definitely see the blog in a better light which im trying not to do, but mostly it’s my own aesthetics that matter to me and that’s just because i simply need to be perceived positively at all times
3. What current rp trend do you hate?
i don’t think there are any i really hate? as long as trends aren’t harmful i dont care much.
4. How do you explain rp to someone in the real world?
i don’t lmao the only person who knows about rp irl is my inner circle, and they know it as rp bc at least one of them has actually been in the rp world
5. Do you prefer interacting with male muses or female more? Why?
i don’t really have much preference? all genders bring in their own potential for different plots and dynamics and i love them all equally. but female muses and muses that don’t conform to the male/female binary are always favorites because they deserve more appreciation
6. Do you prefer writing male muses or female more? Why?
this one was actually hard to answer because like? i don’t know? i write plenty of both, and i feel like i prefer males, but also i think that’s just because of the way males tend to be treated over females? like some of my female muses are That Muse that never goes away, but because females tend to be more ignored or people just don’t read their info it’s never as fun writing them
7. What’s your opinion on call out posts?
sometimes they’re necessary, sometimes they’re not. i don’t really read them? unless it’s a callout that comes across my dash a lot or revolves around someone i know/write with. if it’s a legit predator then i say go off, but if it’s something petty or spiteful i think it just makes all parties involved look kinda bad.
8. Name any three things about the rpc that bother you.
answered here.
9. What is your opinion on exclusivity? Do you practice it? Why / why not?
i have in the past, i don’t really presently. i think sometimes it’s good and sometimes it’s bad, and really depends on the fandoms/characters involved. like currently i have lea as my exclusive stiles and earth as my exclusive carol because they have such intense connections to jason and are literally a part of his backstory/canon so it would feel really strange to have another version of that muse come along and try to either fit the dynamic or ignore it. that said i have in the past had exclusives where it felt like i was trapped in it or didn’t get to explore more dynamics because of it, so it can be a win or a lose dependent on the person you’re exclusive with and what they’re like.
10. Have you ever had a bad experience with commissions? As either someone who makes them or as someone who buys them?
not really, no. i don’t think i’ve ever actually commissioned anyone, and the people who have commissioned me in the past have generally been really nice. there’s been a few times where people really don’t know what they want or change their mind constantly or just ghost before we get anywhere, but mostly it’s been a good experience for me.
11. What do you know now about rp that you wish you knew when you first started?
that literally nothing matters. who cares. take as long as you want, remake as much as you want. yes this is a hobby that depends on other people somewhat, but that doesn’t mean that everything you do should revolve around them. take mental health breaks, write in prose, have a super minimalist or super maximalist aesthetic. who gives a shit, this is about having fun.
12. Have you been involved in drama? Do you regret it?
answered here.
13. Have you ever thought about leaving rp? What caused it? What changed your mind?
answered here.
14. Do you think rp has had a positive or negative affect on your life or you as a person?
oh a huge positive effect on both for sure. there are times that it’s been bad for my mental health, but i’ve also met so many brilliant people and had so much fun doing this. half of my facebook friends list is people i’ve befriended through rp (and yes this is an invite to anyone i talk to a lot to ask for my facebook if u want it)
15. How has rp changed you personally?
i started rping in 2012 when i was 14. rp was my main hyperfixation through high school, with me spending most days in class on tumblr rather than doing work. i shaped my entire life around rp for a long time, and while that was extremely unhealthy it was also a huge formative thing for me. tumblr and roleplaying are so ingrained into who i am at this point, it’s literally changed my life. the friends i made through rp, especially in my high school years, were a life changing thing. i had one or two friends in high school, but i was heavily bullied and widely hated and rp really did save me from really fully sinking into thinking that’s what everyone thought of me
16. If you could change one thing about rp on tumblr, what would it be? Why?
i think it would mostly just be the accessibility and ease of it? i miss the days where you didn’t have to be mutuals to write, and how it was just so easy to get things going and have meaningless fun. i love my mutuals and i love plotted threads but i truly think there was something so easy about starting a blog and immediately having threads and people to write with. lately tumblr has become a place where it’s so easy to be ignored or feel like no one wants to write with you, and i really miss the days where there was always someone there who wanted to write with you and be friends.
17. Have you ever sent a message to yourself on anon? Why?
literally all the time lmao. my positivity blog is 50% me sending myself anons because people very rarely send them in. people follow positivity blogs to hear positivity about themselves but never send any in which makes it difficult. i don’t want to seem like my positivity blog is focused only on my mutuals, but i also don’t have much i can say about non-mutuals without it feeling fake so it’s a rough balance. i also send myself anonymous headcanon questions all the time bc no one else is gonna do it for me
18. Have you ever sent hate to yourself on anon? Why?
i think i did once or twice in like 2014 because i was a 16 year old who wanted attention. mostly it was just like i’d posted something that i knew would be controversial in the fandom and wanted to send myself the hate while i had a comeback in mind rather than wait for someone else to say it and feel bad lmao
19. Do you delete anon hate or post and address it? Why?
i tend to post/address it. it’s a bummer to get anon hate and i know i should delete it but i’ll see it and be like ‘oh everyone thinks this’ so i post it so that everyone can see and be like ‘yeah’ but then they’re like ‘this is bullshit’ and i have a moment of like... oh... people... dont hate me?
20. Have you ever felt pressured to write something you weren’t comfortable with?
i dont think so, not that i remember at least.
21. Have you ever followed someone because you felt like you had to, not because you wanted to?
yeah, a few times. i tend to feel that way less now but i still do it sometimes. i know there’s not really any pressure, but sometimes breaking mutuals with people you don’t click with feels really hard
22. What would make you block someone?
not a lot, really? like not for hard blocks. i’ll softblock when i do unfollow sprees or if we don’t really mesh. i only hardblock people who spam me, personals and like. actual problematic people.
23. Have you ever stolen something from someone else?
not that i’m aware of. 
24. Have you ever had something stolen from you? If so, how did you handle it?
again, not that i’m aware of.
25. Are you open to duplicates? Why / why not?
this doesn’t apply to jason, but generally yeah. it depends on the muse really. im not open to duplicates on beth (multimuses aside) because of how she’s a comfort character for me and i’ve had some Bad Experience with other beths in the past, and theres a few muses i write from smaller fandoms that don’t have duplicates but that i wouldn’t want duplicates for. mostly though im chill.
26. How do you feel about vague posting?
i don’t love it, but i am guilty of it too. sometimes u gotta vague to get things out, but i don’t like vagues where that person is likely to see it? idk i just don’t like vagues but i wont stop you
27. Do you follow people even if they don’t follow you back?
sometimes, but not really. i used to do it a lot, but since people are so intense on mutuals only these days i get heaps of anxiety about accidentally liking something when i think we’re mutuals but we’re not
28. Do you read people’s rules before following or interacting?
i try to. a lot of people don’t have mobile friendly info (note that linking to pages on your blog like a /rules or /about isnt actually mobile friendly, you can’t use those links in the app) and i spend a lot of time on mobile, but i usually just wont follow back until i can read them and then i double check rules for triggers and stuff whenever plotting/sending memes/etc.
29. What is your opinion on “reblog karma” and do you practice it?
i don’t love it and i don’t practice it, but i get it. it sucks to have people reblog things from you without sending, especially headcanon/ooc stuff. i won’t ever force people though, especially with ic stuff, sometimes certain memes just don’t fit and that’s okay.
30. How have you responded to popular slang used on tumblr? Do you use it in every day life? Do you use it at all?
probably? i type the same as i talk pretty much, anything you see me type is something i’d say
31. Is there something you don’t know the meaning of but you haven’t asked anyone because you think it’s supposed to be general knowledge? Was there ever something you had to ask someone to explain?
i dont think so. generally i google things if i don’t know it.
32. Have you ever experienced discrimination?
not that i’m aware of. i guess people ignoring female ocs and loving male canons might sorta be it, but nothing personal about me no
33. How do you feel about personal blogs following your rp blog?
not a fan, tend to block them. personals just tend to get into my shit and rb stuff and it’s annoying. that said, if it’s someone i know from the rp community’s personal they can stay
34. Have you ever cried while writing a reply?
literally all the time. every angsty reply.. i cry so easily
35. Do you read other people’s threads or do you only read your own?
i read so many other peoples threads, especially people i interact with a lot. i read @unheaven and @aphostate‘s threads like the morning paper i love them
36. What’s one thing that other people seem to hate that doesn’t bother you?
i don’t know that anyone really hates things that much?? oh, but 13rw is a big one i guess. the show helped me mentally and i have muses on my multi, but i know the majority of the rpc is very much against it
37. How do you feel about tagging triggers? Do you tag them? How do you determine what is triggering content and what isn’t?
i try to, but i don’t ever really know when exactly things need to be tagged. i use the ‘ask to tag //’ tag a lot for things that im not sure about. generally speaking triggers go untagged unless it’s intense/graphic, but there’s always warnings in my rules about what i don’t tag
38. What advice would you give to someone new to rp?
don’t take it too seriously. it’s a hobby, it’s for fun. these people will not care if you use aesthetic vibes or if you’re a minimalist, they just want your writing. don’t guilt trip people into writing with you, read and respect rules. i don’t know, just treat people how you wanna be treated. rp is a small world, word travels, people know when people are the type to ignore important things. 
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qualitybirdmemes · 7 years
Note
do all the "send me a number, yo" asks!!!!!
You got it dude.
Under the cut bc its long!
1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?I’m afriad that im making the wrong long term career decision. 
2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?
No, but I wake up right next to her so we say it in person
3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?
Nah as long as she’s safe about it.
4: Do you find it easy to trust others?
Depends on the vibe I get from them.
5: What were you doing at 11PM last night?
Playing BOTW
6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?
Hopefully my partner
7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?
I dont even know. I would be so crushed and angry. 
8: Are you close with your dad?
Nope
9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right?
Yep! My girl.
10: What are you listening to?
My partner tapping her foot to music
11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?
Blue gatorade
12: Do you like hickeys?
Love ‘em
13: What time do you go to bed?
Between 1 and 3am
14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down?
Nah
15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?
Nope
16: Do you always answer your texts?
For the most part
17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?
No. She’s the best thing thats ever happened to me.
18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?
20 ish mins ago
19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?
Ye, my girl
20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?
“God my hip hurts”
21: Is anyone else in the room with you?
Yeah, several. I’m at school.
22: Do you believe what goes around comes around?
I hope it does.
23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now?
No. I was at the beginnings of a depressive episode.
24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?
Sorta?
25: In the past week, have you cried?
Yeah.
26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing?
Maroon.
27: Do people ever call you by your last name?
Nope.
28: Is anyone ignoring you right now?
Not as far as I know
29: Do you have a best friend?
Several
30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?
It’d be devastating considering I’m dating the last person I kissed.
31: Who was your last call/text message from?
Both from my Mom
32: Are you mad at anyone?
I’ll always be lowkey mad at my dad.
33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
Yes, once
34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?
23
35: How many more days until your birthday?
87
36: Do you have any summer plans yet?
Work
37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?
Ye.
38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?
Nope
39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?
I dont think so
40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?
Lowkey, but not really.
41: Do you think age matters in relationships?
To an extent, yeah.
42: Are you available?
Nope!
43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?
Since it ended? One. And Im with her now.
44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?
Probably a second lip piercing. Maybe tongue.
45: Do you believe exes can be friends?
Depends on the circumstances but yes.
46: Do you regret anything?
Yeah but not so much that I would want to go back and change it
47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?
My health
48: Did you ever lose a best friend?
I feel like I sorta half lost one. We still chat, but its not like it used to be and its probably my fault.
49: Was your last kiss a mistake?
Not at all.
50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?
I already did and it was a success. : )
51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?
Several times
52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?
Every day
53: What was the last thing you ate?
Apple slice
54: Did you get any compliments today?
Not yet
55: Where are you going on your next vacation?
God I have no idea. Maybe Idaho Springs?
56: Do you own anything from other countries?
I mean most things are made in China so???
57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?
Most of them are outside the binary, but lean towards female.
58: Where have you lived most of your life?
Colorado
59: When was the last time you took a long drive?
Can’t remember
60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?
Nope
61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?
Nope
62: Who do you text the most?
Either my Mom or my partner.
63: What was the last movie you saw?
Would You Rather
64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?
Idk, they love me I guess?
65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?
None.
66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?
Yeah by like a year ish.
67: Do you curse around your parents?
I try not to
68: Are you happy with where you live?
Decently so. Its messier than I’d like, but 4 college students live there, so what can you do?
69: Picture of yourself?
Will post separately.
70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?
I prefer monogamy because I’m easily jealous, but under very certain circumstances, I’d be willing to try polyamory.
71: Have you ever been dumped?
Nah. 
72: What do you most like about making out?
Tongue ;P
73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?
Kissed, yes. Made out, no.
74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?
I’ve only done it once, and I initiated.
75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?
The crease where thigh meets butt, hands, neck, legs lol
76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?
My partner
77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?
Nope
78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?
Nope
79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?
When I wake up to her smiling at me
80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?
Depends on the age of said child
81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?
My current partner, yeah.
82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?
Nah, only like one person
83: Do you miss your last sweetie?
I always miss her 
84: Last time you slow danced with someone?
Probably about a month ago in our living room
85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?
Nope
86: How can I win your heart?
Someone already has it. But personality is everything.
87: What is your astrological sign?
Libra
88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?
Getting ready for bed
89: Do you cook?
Not as much as Id like
90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?
Not really an old flame, but an old friend yeah
91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?
Not single
92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?
Monogamy
93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?
Physical traits dont really matter. Its more a personality thing for me
94: Name four things that you wish you had!
A dick, the willpower to lose weight, a higher wage, another iced coffee
95: Are you a player?
Not really.
96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?
I dont think so
97: Are you a tease?
Yeah, but only with her
98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?
I think so. Probably at a con
99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?
Currently am
100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?
Only the gal Im currently dating
101: Hugs or Kisses?
Hugs
102: Are you too shy to ask someone out?
Most of the time yeah lol
103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Idk, voice? Smile?
104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?
Ye
105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?
NOOOOOOOOO
106: Do you flirt a lot?
Kinda lol
107: Your last kiss?
My gal
108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?
Nope
109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month?
Ye
110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?
The girl to my left
111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?
Absolutely
112: Does someone like you currently?
I hope so!
113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone?
Yes indeed
114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?
Serious only. I dont see the point in a fling.
115: Ever made out with just a friend?
Made out, no, kissed, ye.
116: Are you happier single or in a relationship
It depends. Id say Im happier with her than I have been in a great long while.?
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