#idk this is just a vent

[teaboot]

You know being transmasc after a life of growing up as the sole "girl" in male-dominated areas gives you a weird and complicated relationship with gender identity.

Like... being told straight to your face, "you're naturally bad at this cause you're a girl", "you're naturally weaker cause you're a girl", "you can act tough but you'll always just be a girl", "stop acting like you can keep up with the men", and even the well-intentioned, "Yeah women are like that, but you don't count, you're basically one of the boys"...

It leads you to this weird space where it's like. "Fuck you, women kick ass," and then busting yourself up to prove that you, a woman, *can* keep up, and not only keep up but do it better than anyone else, and taking pride in your femininity because it's not a fucking weakness, but at the same time knowing that... You're not a woman.

You're not a woman. You're not a girl. People just see tits and curves and decide that nature made you delicate, and then all of a sudden it's your responsibility to prove that you're not fucking weak, women aren't weak, while also saying, "I'm not a woman, though."

It's... bizarre.

I'm not a girl. But so long as I'm interpreted as one, I'm still gonna be held back by the same stereotypes. But if I ever stop being interpreted as one, then all the hard fucking work I put in to excel in my field is going to go down the toilet as "just something you can do because you're a man".

And fuck that. That's stupid, too. Guys shouldn't have their effort taken for granted like that, and it stings extra hard because you remember people just naturally assuming you suck and earning respect only to lose it immediately the second you step over to the "man" side. Because you've worked your whole life for something that as a man you'd just be expected to have naturally.

You SEE that shit staring you in the face, and worst of all people still walk around you in plain view and still talk about how women can't do shit and conveniently forget that you've BEEN ONE. "Because you were a man all along" or "because you overcompensate to prove yourself", whatever they think of to justify the cognitive dissonance that keeps their narrative going.

Nobody seems to consider that I'm not really different from women OR men, because those differences don't exist.

I'm not "naturally better" than women because I don't identify as one, and I'm not "worse than" men because I wasn't assigned the title by a third party. I'm just a person. We're all just people.

I'm just tired, man.

#Rambling #Idk #You can reblog if you wanna but it's just a personal vent

[inkskinned]

fucking hate it when the stuff everybody says "actually works" does actually work.

hate exercising and realizing i've let go of a lot of anxiety and anger because i've overturned my fight-or-flight response.

hate eating right and eating enough and eating 3 times a day and realizing i'm less anxious and i have more energy

hate journaling in my stupid notebook with my stupid bic ballpoint and realizing that i've actually started healing about something once i'm able to externalize it

hate forgiving myself hate complimenting myself more often hate treating myself with kindness hate taking a gratitude inventory hate having patience hate talking to myself gently

hate turning my little face up to the sun and taking deep breaths and looking at nature and grounding myself and realizing that i feel less burdened and more hopeful, more actually-here, that i am able to see the good sides of myself more clearly, that i am able to see not only how far i have to grow - but also how much growth i have already done & how much of my life i truly fill with light and laughter and love

horrible horrible horrible. hate it but i'm gonna do it tho

[tacc0yak1]

well, someone had to tell him

#twisted wonderland #lilia vanrouge #.....this was actually vent art ngl #idk man i heard it from my pastor months ago so... #twst #disney twisted wonderland #artists on tumblr #general lilia #baul zigvolt #idk is this lilibaul???? #it can be seen as platonic or romantic #I'll just put this tag here for good measure #lilibaul #book 7 spoilers #twst lilia #vent #tacc0yak1art #WHY WAS THE LAYOUT DIFFERENT HUH

[butterscotch-brigade]

just like.....the bizarre vitriolic hatred i see on here for autistic ppl who like "childish" things made for little kids is so frustrating and heartbreaking to me. allistics already hate us and infantilize us, so they see an autistic person who happen to like something "childish" and mock us for it.

but what really breaks my heart is seeing OTHER autistic ppl who think of themselves as being "better" than those who like "childish" things and make fun of them bc theyve been taught to hate by an ableist society. doesnt it get exhausting. doesnt it hurt inside to be full of the lies and hatred neurotypicals taught you. doesnt it hurt to take out that hatred on your fellow autistic ppl, to mock them for something that allistics already mock them for. why. why do you do this. who did this to you.

#vanilla talks #vent #ableism #maybe im just being sensitive. idk

[gougarfem]

i've never had such fake, shallow friendships as i have with white, liberal, "queer" friends. people i've supposedly been close with for years consistently left me on read when i texted them at 4am in hospital scared and alone with critically low sats because they didn't have the energy for emotional labour. you have to ask to vent, respect triggers, never ever traumadump, so real conversations are difficult because nobody wants to complain - unless, of course, it's related to identity somehow - you can say you had a bad day because your teacher is transphobic, but not because you had an argument at home or threw up or just didn't feel well - none of it comes from genuine concern but instead the rules and norms within your online community. constant reassurance, validation, knowing there's no possibility of a nuanced discussion on anything other than your approved safe topics. attempts at open communication feel sanitized and are laced with therapy-speak, not reflecting real human emotions, but "i sincerely apologize for crossing your boundaries" because it's ideologically wrong, the undertone is 'please don't make a callout on me', not 'i'm sorry', abuse and manipulation are wrong because they get you ostracised and put on blast publicly by your friendship group so any little disagreement comes with a flurry of reassurance that you aren't an abuser, and they still call you they/them behind your back, they still ask your other friends what they think of your opinion on ace discourse, have you crossed the line yet, can we cut you out yet, it's so fucking tiring and there's no space for real connection or humanity in all of it

#lav.txt #rant #vent #maybe I'm just tired and unmedicated but idk #fuck you to everyone that never supported me at my most vulnerable #but was sure to say they'd always be here

[vixenbydestroyboys]

BPD will make you feel like being born is a trauma you have to heal from

#actually bpd #988twt #bpd vent #bpd #bpd thoughts #idk man i just have been having a very bad week

[sad-leon]

TW!! Suicide Attempt, Self Harm, Implied Eating Disorder

i forgor the colour behind the dialogue but im too tired to add it now

im so tired and theres no resolution because nothing i can make will make me feel better. i Know my friends love me and think my life is worth living, but when it gets bad it gets Bad and theres nothing to do but pick up the peices

#sad•leonart #vent #vent art #tw suicide attempt #tw self harm #tw eating disorder #tw implied eating disorder #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt #rise leo #rise donnie #rise disaster twins #disaster twins #angst #idk i made this when it was bad but now im slightly better but i couldnt make a better resolution #and if you wanna interpret donnie and leo walking on train tracks or other ground in the first one #thats up to yall #i left it vague because i just wanted it done #and donnie gets knee braces because he can

[navnae]

This is eating me up inside, I genuinely want to know why is Steve so okay with putting himself down and everyone just thinks it’s fine? Like no one questions why he thinks so lowly of himself even though he’s done a lot to prove that he’s more than what the show let on. I think it’s weird how in a conversation he’ll slip in comments about himself that are negative. I also think it’s so gross that he can’t have a moment of confusion without being disrespected and I know it’s supposed to be funny but at a certain point someone should really ask “is Steve okay?” I can bet money that the answer won’t be yes.

I also want to add how come Eddie (someone who doesn’t even know Steve from a can of paint other than school) find something nice to say about him and not put him down. This also adds to my list why I think steddie is real but that’s for another time

#steve Harrington #leave him the fuck alone #I’m sick of it #yes i’m ranting #this is a rant #he deserves everything #he deserves the world #he just like me fr #oop #this hits home #i’m so upset #i’m sorry for this #i’m a mess #i’m sleepy #I’m tired #idk what this is #man idk #i’m just venting #stranger things #manifesting #power #please #come on #idk what else to tag #help lol #welp #that’s all #that’s it #steddie #Eddie munson

[pastadoughie]

in the club crying sobbing wailing screaming

#art #my art #mspaint #rowens liddol guys #god im still so fucking angry and sad and EOUSYSGHHAEIIAGWOPIEGS #i habe everbodey #maybe i should make a tag for vent posts at some point #but tbh idk what the utility of that would be #because im very careful to try and keep my blog pretty lighthearted #so my vents r really just like #picture of sad cat and then short tag ramble abt how im sad #but idk #mayb

[feketeribizli]

more venturie! they had the vision but fumbled his design so bad

#honkai star rail #hsr #hsr aventurine #aventurine #mr ave... vent... urine... <3 #glad his stone is green cause i love green. will overuse it too #idk man for some reason i firmly believe hes a boots person. then i was like cowboy boots... cowboy... #other fit is for smth formal. might have some red/pink on him for topaz tho idk of theyre even friends #just love it when a gay guy has a lesbian company (this is me saying topaz is growing on me) #ANYWAY. gay hands #everyone has to know the photo i referenced #my art

[flipomatic]

#rwby #rwby volume 9 #rwby volume 9 spoilers #weiss schnee #rwby 9 #spoilers #weiss being the comedy relief again #it's happening more now since ruby is in MOURNING #I wish one of these characters #blake it should be blake #would freaking take a few minutes to ask ruby how she's feeling #and let her vent some of that sadness off a bit #or at least comfort her and show that they care #but they're just pushing onward and ignoring it #idk if it's an issue with episode time #or a plot point for later #but a little more emotional intelligence would be appreciated lmao

[purplequay]

wren's lullaby - dandelion hands // personal slash self indulgent piece

#💉heretic's art #vent art #the owl house #toh emperor belos #toh collector #toh s3 spoilers #<- technically ? #idk who needs to hear this but this is very obviously not supposed to be connected to the canon show or my opinions abt the finale #this is just for ME and caters to ME only <3

[hel7l7]

I don't understand anything that happened between us

#this-series #vent art #venting #mixed media #nothing even really happened #but at the same time #idk #s #nothing real happened at least #not like i wanted to #but we had conversations that were too vulnerable to label as just nothing #so #now idk #but it's over so it doesn't matter anyway

[bred-is-a-dumb-name]

Genuinely don't know what to do abt this shit anymore man. I've been on tumblr for so long, have had so many blogs, have lived through all sorts of wild shit that staff does. I have nowhere else to go either. Nowhere else can provide what this platform does for me. But this treatment of trans folk has me legitimately scared for the future of this place if something thats clearly visibly a joke can get you banned for life. When hateful terfs can just say whatever they want and not have problems if they get reported. I mean this isn't fucking twitter. I just. Fuck dude. Idk. I'm worried and angry and as a trans person I'm scared to even make jokes abt this situation lest i also get banned for "death threats" or something. This is insane. And it's gone on for a while now. And fuck. Tumblr needs to do better. Seriously.

#serious post #bred.txt #idk just kinda venting tbh #this situation worries me bc without my tumblr community i have nowhere else to go #and i really *really* dont wanna leave this place #but fuck dude. this shit is not okay. yknow. #anyways #trans rights #transgender #🚗🔨⚒️💥 #🏳️‍⚧️ #🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️ #fuck tumblr staff

[ali3nboyfriend]

i see a lot of talk of fellow adhd and autistic folk feeling like they’re too much for other people but i don’t see a lot of talk about feeling like you’re not enough. low energy adhd and autism where it takes a lot of effort to use words so your way of showing affection is to sit there and vibe in people’s presence but it comes off like you’re not paying attention or it’s not “active” enough to count, or forgetting to reply to DMs (or like i said, Words Hard), and it again comes off as you not caring or ignoring people. it’s really hard to be putting in so much effort to maintain friendships you value only for that effort to not be seen, or to be read as apathy, or for it to be seen but still not be what other people want. even worse when you try and talk more and be more active in a relationship but you end up burning yourself out because you don’t have enough energy to maintain it.

#starscream.txt #i struggle a lot with feeling like i’m not Enough of a presence for people #i like to just. listen to people. but i’ve had several people stop talking to me because me just listening comes off as me not caring #or finding them annoying #which it isn’t #and it fucking sucks. idk #i understand RSD and the need for validation so i don’t begrudge anyone that #i just wish i could be met on my field sometimes. i wish my natural behaviors didn’t read like apathy #or annoyance #i wish people could see my ways of showing affection for what they are #vent i guess

[sheryl-lee]

anyone else find it a little fucked up that gifsets/edits only get more than 1k notes if they’re concerning a brand new piece of media (film/tv episode/trailer) and if the edit is posted within like 10 minutes of said media releasing to the public??? and if it’s not, it’s basically ignored and dies or takes days/weeks to amass notes??? so most people will only deem creators “worthy” of a like/reblog to spread an edit around if it’s only relevant to whatever brand new thing has released, and if you’re even like a week late that’s not good enough and fuck you <3

#and up until like a year or two ago this wasn't a problem #like i know people are on this site because gifsets for new shows like wednesday get thousands of notes #once that show's episodes drop #but a week later no one cares #something something our society only favors expediency over actual art and discussion #idk i'm just losing motivation bc it sucks that i have so many followers which took years to get to #and most of you won't even reblog/like my edits that i take hours to make for you #but you're all too happy to steal them and repost them when it suits you #just needed to vent #sameera.txt