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#idk there’s so much i wanna do but i don’t have the time or money for all of it right now
dahldahlbills · 2 months
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I really need to get serious about personal projects again
#I think I said something like this last year too lol#currently in a weird headspace about it#the biggest reason why I lost focus on them was bc I prioritized engaging in fandom#(something that I never really did when I was focused on publishing a few years back)#so part of me feels like in order to make considerable progress on projects again I need to cut myself off from fandom#and I kinda have been weening myself off a bit from animanga but not really for that reason#it was mostly bc I was getting overwhelmed by how much I was consuming and I wanted to appreciate things fully#I don’t think I’d cut myself off from fandom completely either I’d still try to keep up with stuff#but the idea of not engaging in fandom anymore kinda.. scares me?#idk I feel like a major loser admitting this lol#it just feels like I’d lose a lot of connections with people#and would lose a lot of the love I have for stories if I’m not actively interacting with them :(#and then there’s also that stupid feeling of being a ‘fake fan’ because I’m not dedicating every single second of free time to fandom#which is dumb bc like I have a life and need to make money yknow I got things to do#im just Stressed bc I’m at such a critical stage career wise and im getting closer to 26 so hhhhh healthcare coverage will be up in the air#so I really can’t afford to dawdle#there’s just so much I wanna do and while I’m not necessarily racing to get it done I still want to take advantage of the time I have#but it also sucks feeling like I’m giving up a part of myself to progress on another part of myself#I don’t think any of this makes sense sorry I just needed to dump my thoughts bc I am Terrified™️#anyway personal projects! gotta get back to those !#blahblahbills#delete later
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bomnun · 6 months
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my glass is so half full of tipco juice honestly
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yoohyeontual · 6 months
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I’m suppose to paint but my moral is so low right now…
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#i Need to do it today cause I forced my dad to go buy the thing so I could do it yesterday (but I slept 5h I was afraid of making mistake)#but I didn’t so I need to do it today cause it will take more than a day and I seriously need to find a job#my health is on line two now I need to go for my eyes and that cost money money that I don’t have at all#i feel like my body is dropping me like how can it be possible to have so many problems at the same time ?????#like they are all pretty minor I’m not gonna d*e but it still really annoying especially when you wanna live your life#but you don’t have force to do it#Sowon also needs food again and I’m not sure if my parents can help me again… I’m loosing my mind#also my brother feeling depress and I feel like my dad cares so much about it more than mine ????#maybe he dosen’t realise it or maybe I don’t show it as much so that would be on me#but without having end up in the hospital I feel like I’m at pretty much the same level as him 😐#except that I force myself to enjoy what I love so I don’t end up worst than I am which he stopped doing#there’s already a gigantic favouritism on my dad side with my brother so maybe I’m just crazy and scared my dad end up feeling the same way#maybe it’s just being scared of it and not the reality idk but it’s messing with my brain so bad I’m tired#but also I can’t even tell my dad one of the biggest reason I got depressed in the first place but at this point he would tell me to get#over it I’m pretty sure 🙄#anyway I’m gonna go paint I guess#wish me luck for everything it seriously need to stop 😭#alex.txt#tw negative#tw negativity
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cherrysnax · 2 years
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#how do I make the self loathing n depression stop. i feel like I’m drowning n like I’m pulling my loved ones down with me#I’m trying really hard to be a person but it feels like ky progress is gone. i have a hard time standing up for too long so it’s rlly hard#cooking for myself even though one of my goals was to cook more. i keep forgetting what day/month it is#i feel like I’m so far away and everyone is just . millions of miles away from me#i just. want living to not feel like a chore. i have so many things I look foreword to#n I don’t want to quit on myself#and part of me thinks it’s the stress from our constantly sinking money sitch due to comic deadlines — that are only here to help motivate#the world won’t end if we don’t make them. i think that’s something we forget#but yeah I’m worried abt my mom and my health is declining I’m always dizzy and forgetful b I have problems holding convos#and I’m tired all the time and my libido is gone and it’s either my depression or my antidepressants but I’m worried abt it#idk what if I’m dying. my family can’t afford me dying. and I don’t want to cut a life short that has so much potential#but golly gee has my mental health not gotten the memo. i wanna do things for the ones I love but mh body seems to be shutting down#i want to be a good friend or lover or child or adult but I mostly feel like I’m stuck a few years back#but I will be okay. i will learn how to navigate my newfound issues. make sure to go outside despite my general adversion to it#learn to let myself feel freely about the present. while also think past tommorow uh positively#if I give up on myself what more do I have?
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whimsyprinx · 2 years
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what is it about rich ppl that once they become rich they become like soulless and greedy and hoard their wealth instead of using it to help people like a normal person would?
#whimsy whispers#like there’s been normal ppl who gain fame#where’s y’all compassion and care for other people? idk I just think I’d be different#i wouldn’t hoard all my money and buy three mansion and twleve cars and yatch or some stupid shit#like I doubt I’d be able to change all the worlds problems but I’d try to help people as best as I can#not just my loved ones but like other people and causes that need help#it just makes me wanna cry because like#god these rich ppl could be doing so much they could help so many people but you have million and billion (forgot which is bigger billion I#think?) aires who’s like just don’t help#sure they’ll donate a few thousand or hundreds of thousands if we’re lucky but that’s a penny to them that’s not a dent in the huge amount#of money they hoard for no reason#i just don’t understand why they don’t want to help people like you’re money won’t be buried with you#the money you’ve greedily kept to yourself won’t be following you to hell#i just want to be rich and help my friends and family and people who I don’t even know#i just get so tired the world is bleak and not jsut my own life but the whole world#everything is bad all the time and we’re suffering and sometimes it just feels like it’ll never get better#it won’t be better in my life time I don’t think I’m going to live to see a major positive chnage and that makes me sad#it’s almost 7am maybe I should sleep#I’m not sleepy just weepy
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pepprs · 2 years
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omg uhmmmm. yeah ok my counseling situation is less than ideal rn. im grateful to have it at all bc i wasn’t even expecting to have counseling until september and like i will literally take what i can get given that things are so bad rn bc it’s a genuine fucking miracle i was able to get it at all. but also i need and deserve a good experience and like.. this is the 2nd session and we ended with like 20 minutes to spare yet again and also spent several of the 40 minutes talking abt her own situation and she said we were gonna talk abt the gr*ef of all this and process it a little bit we didn’t and basically repeated what we talked about last week. uhm
#i don’t mind her talking abt her own experience. or really i don’t want to mind it bc im endeared by it and i do want this to feel more like#personal / conversational and not clinical and sterile and whatever. and she is really nice and her stories are relevant and stuff. but also#it’s counseling which is.. Different and idk how to tell her i need more from this than she’s giving me. erm 😐 and she also keeps cutting me#off at the end of every sentence which is like. sigh. and we can’t even meet next week bc she’s going on vacation but next week is going to#be the most intense and insane bc that’s when * leaves… idk. sighhhh. again i will take what i can get i really will but also.. 🫠#purrs#having the same issues w my timesheet sort of. like i obviously need to get paid every cent i am owed but i feel bad advocating for it and I#got myslef in a little bit of trouble last week bc i didn’t speak up when i knew my timesheet still said i was a student / was set to the#minimum wage pay rate bc i didn’t wanna be a burden and ask abt it during a stressful time AND right after getting the late timesheet notif#to boot. and it blew up in my face bc the. we had to scramble to fix it and i felt so bad but it’s like i know this is a lose lose situation#but i am physically incapable of asking you to do what i need you to do so i get paid in a timely manner and appropriate amount bc i know#you need to not be burdened by one more logistical crisis and that to me is worth losing however much money i am risking losing bc of that.#and with my counselor it’s like … that’s a little different bc she isn’t someone i know closely but she’s going thru a rly tough situation#too and liek i can’t NOT tell you to not talk about it i. our sessions or end our sessions 20 minutes early you are one of the most stressed#out individuals i have ever encountered and if i have to sacrifice some catharsis so you can get some peace at the end of the long day then#i will do that. but i know neither of those things is fair to me but i don’t know how to speak up abt it. and yet again i feel no better abt#the whole situation for a second session in a row. but maybe i wouldn’t have anyway bc of the whole nature of it and where we are in it rn#like with the transition about to happen. idk. all of this fucking sucks i am so…….. 😐
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bubblegumbeyotch · 2 years
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#god i’m so unhappy and i just really don’t know what to do#i tried to look at job listings today and everything i saw sounded absolutely abysmal#i feel so pathetic i just wish i could work and have a normal job and not be a fucking freak about everything#i just wanna be able to take care of myself i hate being dependent on others so fucking much#but all i have the energy to do is lay around and feel miserable and everyone keeps telling me i need to do something! anything!#and i try i really fucking do but just nothing happens bc i just have no energy for anything#i want to go to school or have a job or SOMETHING believe me i don’t want to just lay around and not do anything and have no money#it SUCKS and makes me feel awful about myself and it’s straining my relationships bc i can tell everyon:#*everyone’s tired of me acting like this and i’m tired of it too but i just genuinely don’t know how to get out of it#im so tired and depressed and i’m trying so hard not to be like i’m taking my meds and doing my basic tasks and hygiene#but beyond that i have no motivation or energy for anything else and people are concerned about me wasting my potential#and i just feel like i’m disappointing everyone and i’m just a time/money/effort suck for everyone around me#i don’t even know what would make me feel better at this point#maybe just being someone else entirely. someone who’s not a fuckup who wastes everyone’s time like me#just nothing brings me joy anymore and i’m so agitated and pessimistic about everything and i wish that i wasn’t#the only thing i know to do is to cover it up with an inflated self esteem about how hot i am and how people desire me#but that desire is always so superficial and empty and feels amazing in the moment and progressively more awful as time goes on#idk i’m just ranting at this point but just know i’m in my electra heart era and not necessarily happy about it#personal
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deityofhearts · 1 month
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rn I’m getting through life by romanticizing the idea of me living in a bigger city (not like. new york sized but like just one of our bigger neighboring cities) and working as a librarian or library assistant there or something and having a quiet simply life and a regular routine that I go about
#deity dialogue#or like working at a book store#idk in my head it’s a simply cozy life it’s nothing big or special but it’s nice and comforting to me#I wear silly little outfits I go to nice shops in my spare time then I return home to sit in my room with fluffy and draw#that’s my dream#and I have enough money to live comfortably god#idk I fluctuate on things like#I do not wanna live where I live now like the white county I don’t wanna be here#but idk where else I’d go in the world like idk where to travel or where else to live#so I’d probably still be in the south and still close to where I live now but about an hour or so out of the way which isn’t too far#there’s more to do where I wanna live there’s more places to work more places to go for funsies more places to live etc#where I live at is just. I’m sorry it’s shit the whole area sucks as do the surrounding areas there’s nothinggggg#I don’t want to live here all my life I’m already miserable enough I don’t wanna be even more miserable by never leaving#and yeah the other place isn’t that far away but maybe I’d be happier there? in a place with more to do more people to meet etc etc#idk#I also am aware it would cost more but everything is already expensive may as well try somehow#if I can manage to save money and get a job in that city somehow then I could start saving more and then my roommates and I could move there#idk just agh. ideally I’d live somewhere even farther even more interesting and lively but again idk where I’d even go and I know my#roommates wouldn’t wanna go much farther than where we already have talked about for their own reasons#but I’m not someone who can live alone just too much fear and paranoia. my ideal living situation is to live with other people and we’re all#in equal standing and like have equal responsibilities and pay and manage everything equally which is what my roommates and I plan#those two would be able to live on their own fine and I envy that I’m just too anxious to be alone plus just. I can’t conceive being alone#I would be too lonely and depressed lmao I like having another persons presence ya know?#anyways idk why I’m talking so much in the tags but like I always do#I just want to live somewhere where I’ll be happy with people I like and working a job that doesn’t make me wanna kms and have enough money#to where I’m not constantly stressed about everything and can maybe even afford nice little things#it jsut feels like asking for any of that much less all of it is asking too much :(#I’m hashtag depressed about being alive
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tiredsadpeach · 2 years
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I keep asking myself why am I still here but I know it’s for Saturday
#I’m just so tired everything hurts all the time and there’s no break or rest I can’t do it anymore#but Saturday there’s a concert I’m going to and I can’t wait but idk what I’m gonna do after that#it’s the only thing keeping me going because my sister spent so much on the tickets and I wanna see them so bad#because I don’t think I’m gonna get to see mcr I mean mine was cancelled again because of our piece of shit governor#but there’s an impromptu show the day they were supposed to be at the festival but idk if we have the money which is fine#but after the ghost concert I’m not gonna have anything to look forward to#I’m a disappointment to my family an inconvenience to my friends unless they need support#I’m sure there’s people who actually care but I’m just gonna hurt them anyway so I wish they didn’t for their sake#i just drain my parents of money too because I can’t take care of myself#also I relapsed again and once they figure that out it’s just another disappointment to pile on#also found out my coworker that I have to be here with for another four hours thinks fatphobia and slurs are funny#glad he felt comfortable enough as a most likely cishet white man to say faggot and queer to me#i know I’m not out at work but him also telling me how like his brothers gf got offended when someone called her fat on fortnite and was#implying he found it funny so I know what he thinks about me#i feel like no where is safe anymore#no matter what I do I look like a target or I’m a disappointment or I’m not enough#why can’t I rest#eternally
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crystalflygeo · 10 months
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Last of her kind Emperor!Alpha!Zhongli + Slave!Omega!Dragoness!Reader-
cw/tags: mentions of slavery and past sexual abuse on fem!reader, A/B/O dynamics, mating bites, fingering, scenting, pet names, zhongli has a knot and alpha fangs and is not afraid to use them lmao, some nip and clit stimulation ig?? emotional roller coaster ngl.
notes: So remember a loooong time ago when I held a poll and one of the options was "dragon" and it WON?? well actually it was this, (dragon READER heh) it just got WAY out of control. 5.6k words and now I wanna make it into a whole series //head in hands// anyway ye have this weird lil funky AU I poured my sweat blood and tears into (also my heart and soul) idk why I am just so attached I love it so much plsss I have ideas fot other scenes with them already aaaaaaaaa <3
Partially inspired by some of @silentmoths' fics holy shIT I LOVE DRAGON READER AND I LOVE OMEGAVERSE NOD IF YOU AGREE!!
Last but not least if y'all wanna be part of my pinglist uhh I'm making one now so :3c
Part 2 ->
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Strange yellow leaves fall around you all over the courtyard…
“Fix your clothes, you have to look appealing… well, as appealing as a creature like you can be.” The voice of your Master calls out harshly, pulling and tugging at details in your outfit. It was a flimsy and silky thing, mostly see-through, rather elegant, but very revealing.
You’re used to it.
“And stop looking so miserable! You better smile and please this Alpha. He’s not just anyone, you know?”
You nod meekly, trying to hide the slight trembling on your body. This will be just another bonding attempt. Nothing else.
It will fail. Just like all the others before.
Silver chains clink and tug the collar at your neck, it shakes you back to the present as you stumble forward.
Master guides you through a maze of corridors, with sleek surfaces of dark wood, decorative lanterns and paper screens. They’re strange, covered in even stranger symbols that look nothing like the ones back in the desert. Your bare feet, used to rough hot sand, now walk along polished wood with your draconic tail dragging behind. Everything looks so lavish…
You’ve been brought all the way to Li- Liu-… Li-yue? A foreign country, to meet a potential client. Well, a client to your Master. You are just the merchandise: a dragonblood Omega. Rare, unique even, “exotic”.
But defective.
Your fists clench in nervousness. How rough will this Alpha be with you? You dread to find the answer. Alphas were cruel, ever since you remember you’ve been taught to please, be gentle, obedient and look pretty, but they were never any of those things. Alphas just took their pleasure and used your body as they wanted, usually until you were crying and screaming, begging for mercy. You just hope this Alpha would give you some pity and be quick… or give you time to rest in between attempts.
Though you had learned since long that your wishes don’t tend to come true.
What a disappointment. After I spent so much money and resources on you.
Such a waste of time, what use is there in an Omega that can’t bond?
Why do I even bother with you? You’re just good for the reproduction camp. Maybe that way you can produce another dragonblood.
This is your last chance, mutt. If you fail again, I won’t be bothering with you anymore.
You feel anxiety creeping on your chest, heart jumping to your throat as the dark thoughts invade your mind. Last chance… your last chance at bonding. At proving you’re not useless and stupid. At serving your purpose as Omega. What was happening to you was fair. You deserve to be punished and you should be grateful you have one last chance after all your failures.
You just want to… to…
Tears prickle at your eyes and you breathe in deeply, trying to contain your distress and hugging your own tail, rubbing your face on the fluffy tip.
Whatever happens today, your fate is going to be sealed.
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The nest room is nice.
Like the rest of the place, it is rather elegant, dimly lit with neutral colors and wooden walls, filled with pillows and blankets that had a very subtle flowery aroma to them. Small cabinets to one side with some decorative objects on top and a full-length mirror on the other side. So much different from the barren cold stone walls and tents from the desert camps.
“Hm, pretty fancy.” Master says taking off your collar, your soft unblemished neck now on display, free from any claim. “Now…” He pulls at your hair and you wince, whining and lowering your ears on a submissive display. He wouldn’t hurt you right? You have to look pretty. “The emperor will be here shortly. Make sure to do anything and everything he wants. And you better smile, I told you.”
“E-Emperor?” You pale, eyes widening.
He scoffs and pushes you back, you stumble back into the mess of pillows. “That’s right. I don’t know why but he was very adamant to see you it seems. Perhaps he just wants the prestige of owning the last known dragonblood, hm? Another novelty for his collection, I’m sure. You should consider yourself really lucky. So…” He flashes his Alpha fangs at you with a growl and you whimper again, cowering. “I would suggest you do your best and don’t disappoint this time, he’ll pay a pretty penny for you.”
And with that he leaves, muttering something and almost slamming the strange sliding door.
And so, you’re alone.
Immediately your brain goes into overdrive. An emperor? You had been presented to various Alphas of high status before, wealthy merchants and high-ranking tribe members, but this… this was probably a whole other level.
An emperor had to have an empress, right? Someone of noble birth and high status such as himself, not a lowly sand lizard like you, with weird ears, scales, horns and a tail. Why would he want to see an Omega like you? Perhaps Master was right, he intended to keep you as a trophy in his collection, another pretty thing.
It was humiliating.
But anything was better than being doomed to the reproduction camp…
Maybe the emperor had a harem? You’ve heard of them before, some Alphas liked to boast having many Omegas bound to them. Living in this luxury, not having to worry about much anything except looking pretty and pleasing him once a while. Hell, maybe he wouldn’t even pay attention to you, you’d be just a glorified pet.
You could… do that.
Without noticing, your tail starts swaying after you, this could be a chance. Your chance. You just had to make him like you. Forget the bond. Don’t think about it. All you have to do is please him.
You start frantically arranging the sheets and pillows around, building the comfiest nest you ever had with all the extra material, scenting it with excited happy pheromones. You could do it, this was your chance.
You won’t fail this time. You’ll be pretty, obedient, submissive, the ideal Omega. You’ll let him use you to his heart’s content, sure you may be a little sore but it’ll be worth it if he chooses you. He won’t even care about the bond.
…Right?
You jolt when you hear the door slide slightly open again, your heart leaps to your throat as someone walks in.
Oh.
Is… he the emperor? … He’s handsome.
To be fully honest, you expected some fat pompous middle-aged man not this… perfect specimen of an Alpha.
Your tail sways a little with curiosity.
He looks only slightly older than you, tall, wearing elegant robes in brown and golden hues. His eyes are like a sunset: golden, warm, almost glowing. A red liner accentuating them. Long chocolate hair faded to amber at the tips. His scent was earthy and pleasant, subtle unlike most Alpha musk. Almost comforting and… familiar?
He seems to stare back at you with the same surprise, frozen for a moment, eyes slightly wide, he says something you can’t quite hear and it shakes you out of the spell. You suddenly feel a little self-conscious, curling your tail around you, ears down and resisting the urge to brush (hide) the scales at the corners of your eyes.
It occurs to you that you’ve been just staring like an idiot, you don’t know very well how to address him, nor know his foreign tongue. So, you simply lower your head in respect. “My Lord…”
You suddenly feel nervous. This is it.
You turn around, following the motions ingrained in your brain. Body splayed on the nest, arms tucked in, head down. Submissive, obedient. Your hands are shaking, you feel dizzy, heart thrumming in your chest, blood rushing in your ears.
You lift your butt just slightly, tail curling elegantly over your back, out of the way to expose the flimsy fabric covering your privates, properly presenting to the Alpha. You focus on trying to control your pheromones, letting out just whiffs of a needy sensual scent, worried of mixing in your anxiety and fear and displeasing the emperor.
You had to be pretty, enticing, compliant, and he would, h-he would…
A rather awkward cough has you tense. “There is… no need for that.”
You blink for a moment, taken aback at the rich deep baritone of his voice, so hypnotizing you almost don’t register his words. He speaks common tongue, but still, what does he mean? Isn’t this just… standard protocol for bonding? Isn’t he going to mount you?
You dare peek over your shoulder and see him sitting elegantly over his knees at the floor. He’s outside of the nest range.
He’s also slightly pink at the cheeks and pointedly avoiding looking at you.
Is this a trap? Is he testing you to see if you’ll misbehave? Your hands clench, nails digging at your palms, your breathing and heart increasing pace.
“I just want to talk, I promise.” He tries.
You hold the position.
He sighs, and then-
“Omega, relax.”
You almost squeak at the Alpha command. His voice, his will, seeps into your skin, your nerves, your very bones. You feel your muscles loosen up, tension leaving your body like a bowstring snapping and you lie on the sheets sideways.
Right right right, you’re tense, you have to be soft and pliant-
You look over at him and he’s… heading over to the little cabinets. He picks up a kettle of some kind and little cups that sit on the top, moving around calmly and elegantly as he seems to prepare something. Your head tilts and you gingerly sit up straight. Tail and ears down, curled up not unlike a wounded animal.
“Do you speak the common tongue?”
“Y-Yes!” You nod. “A little…”
“Good.”
The emperor seems… pleasant, he is calm and unguarded, so different from the cold intimidating Alphas you’ve met who like to show off, who immediately order you around. He even used an Alpha command on you but it felt… grounding. There is something equally eerie and entrancing about him and you feel yourself as much drawn to him as terrified of his imposing aura, and you couldn’t explain why. It’s a bit unsettling but also comforting at the same time.
He pours two cups and turns to you. You stiffen and he offers you one.
“Qixing tea is one of the most refined Liyue teas. It tends to be very bitter but this blend has a more pleasant taste, a little floral even. It is also said to help relax one’s mind.”
You carefully take the cup, not wanting to insult such gracious offer, though you’re utterly confused, shouldn’t you be the one serving him?
The cup is warm.
You stare at the golden liquid, small black dots sit at the bottom. This has no alcohol… right? It can’t be worse than snake wine at least.
You carefully take a sip, trying to imitate how the emperor is holding his.
It is… nice, a strong sharp taste but not bad, and very aromatic.
He’s looking at you expectantly and your tail and ears twitch. “I-It’s very good. Thank you, my Lord.”
He smiles and your heart skips a beat. “I am glad. Some say Qixing tea is for older people, but it’s frankly one of my favorites.” He stares at his cup with a somewhat nostalgic gaze, as if it brings him fond memories. “Ah, you can address me as Morax.”
You nod quietly and take another sip. Past the tea’s powerful flowery scent, you can now sense his Alpha pheromones, with him being so close and the air less tense. They’re strong but not overwhelmingly so, sharp and tantalizing, a refined foreign scent you can almost taste in the back of your throat. It stirs something in you, something warm and alluring.
“Do you know where were you born? Who are your parents?”
The question takes you by surprise for a moment as you shake out of your thoughts. Ah, he must be inquiring about your dragonblood. “I-I’m…. I’m not sure, my Lo- um… L-Lord Morax. As far as I know my mother worked at a-a heat house… no one knew who my father was and she passed away when I was very young.”
“I see… so you have no idea where you got your dragon traits from.” It was a sentence rather than a question and you shake your head meekly, taking another sip from the tea, ears lowering back.
“Apparently it could be due to recessive genes.” You once again repeat the same words you’ve heard all your life. You hate bringing attention to your dragon features, people either treat you like a rare exotic creature or a dangerous one. You didn’t know which was worse.
“Hmmm…” Lord Morax seems pensive for a moment, also drinking some of the tea. “Have you been with your caretaker for long?”
You look down. “Master has been in charge of me ever since I… p-presented as an Omega.”
“Does he treat you well?”
Your eyes widen, the question catching you completely by surprise. T-Treat you well? You are… treated like any other slave omega, if only being singled out by your draconic traits. He feeds you, he gives you clothing and education, he arranges the best matches he can for bonding, he even got you here in the first place. You owe him everything, you’re nothing without him.
So then… Why do you find yourself thinking back on all the harsh words, all the punishments, all the screaming and crying, all the… t-touches…
You gulp. “M-Master ensures I have the best living conditions and opportunities I can.” Is what you settle for.
He hums.
There is silence for a moment and lord Morax settles down his cup.
“I don’t think you’re aware of how special you are.”
Just when you thought he couldn’t surprise you anymore, he utters those words and makes your heart speed up.
Is this anxiety? Fear?
“Judging from what your Master has told me, you’re treated like quite the novelty, an exotic half-blood not unlike the Valuka Shuna or Kätzlein. Here in Liyue however those with traits like yours are called Xiānshòu.” The foreign word rolls off his tongue. His golden eyes fix on you and you freeze. “Also known as illuminated beasts. With immense power and longevity, even the half-bloods. They’re well respected and looked up to, why, some are even revered as deities...”
You? Such a fantastic creature? That can’t be…
“Seems to me like things are different in the deserts of Sumeru, however.” His eyes narrow and for the first time you notice his diamond pupils. They look like a snake’s. The same eerie glint he had a few minutes ago is back darkening the bright golden eyes. Yet, for some strange reason you don’t feel scared this time.
A shiver travels down your spine as you feel your instincts purr in delight. Protective… for some reason lord Morax is being protective of you. You don’t know why or how but you can feel it and it made your inner Omega preen inside. An Alpha wanted to protect you, care for you.
“Such a shame.” He adds, sounding almost disappointed but there is something darker underneath. Word simmering with… frustration? “You are such a lovely dragoness, worthy of every praise and prayer they’d sign in your name here.”
You’re very glad your cup rests at your lap, blushing furiously with trembling hands.
For the next few moments, he continued to ask some more questions. What you like or dislike, what you do in your free time, even something as innocuous as your favorite color. Time seemed to stretch into infinity as you grew a little more comfortable with your answers and the whole situation, as though you weren’t talking to an emperor, or even a potential master or Alpha but rather… someone who saw you for who you are.
You liked that. You liked him.
You wanted to stay with him.
You wished to-
“Alright, I think that’s enough. I will have a talk with your Master and we’ll settle things.” He stands up and dusts his attire a little.
Your breath stops.
He is leaving.
He is leaving.
Did you do something wrong? Didn’t he say he liked your appearance? Are you such a failed disgraceful omega? Your last chance at bonding. You didn’t even get to impress him. You want to call out to him, do something, anything. Panic rises in your chest, drowning you, freezing you. You can barely think, instincts screaming, begging, wailing in despair for him. This kind Alpha, this gentle, patient, imposing, majestic Alpha who’s too good for you and yet something deep inside you yearns for him…!
“I am very glad to have met you little xiānshòu.” A small smile tugs at his lips. Then, he turns and heads for the sliding doors.
So, you do the first thing that comes to your mind.
The empty cup falls from your hands, your footsteps thump loudly on the wooden floors, soft fabric clenches between your fingers.
As soft as the lips you crash yours onto.
It only lasts a few seconds but when you back just a little, ears low and tail curled up in apprehension, you realize what you did.
You’d kissed him, you’d kissed the emperor.
You’re shaking like a leaf, clinging to him for dear life. He stares at you with wide surprised eyes but you’d rather die right here for your insolence than live the rest of your days in regret.
His scent takes on an alluring hint to it and your inner Omega is overjoyed. Up so close it is almost irresistible. His face remains impassive, if a little tense, but you can see in his eyes something you identify very well… hunger, desire.
“Lord Morax… t-the nest… please.”
“Y-You don’t have to-”
“Please! Allow me to please you, allow me to show you…how…” You whisper against his lips, leaning in again as your eyes flutter close.
And suddenly his hands wrap around you and pull you close, cupping your face, curling at your waist, there’s something possessive in it and you feel slight vibrations as he growls deep from his chest against your mouth. But there is also something sweet, something delicate…
And for once, you want more. You want this.
How did you end up here? In the most beautiful nest you’d ever constructed, with the most handsome, kind, caring Alpha you’d ever met?
His kisses are deep and slow, completely unlike anything you’ve ever experienced before. You lie on the soft sheets as he looms over you, exploring your mouth with an unhurried pace, hungry yet not forceful, letting you timidly do the same at your own pace.
This is nice…
His hands run along your body, caressing your skin through your flimsy attire. His touch curious but gentle.
“May I?” He asks, tugging at the fabric off your shoulder.
You shiver, at his voice, as the pure want in it, in his eyes, in his scent.
“Y-yes my lord…”
“Hmm…” His kisses trail down your jaw down to your neck as he starts pulling the garments off. Careful, instead of simply ripping them apart, your heart skips a beat. “If we’re going to do this, you can use my name and not just titles…”
Your top falls off and goosebumps litter your skin, nipples pebbled as one of his hands cups your breast.
“M-Morax…” You try, shakily, as if testing out the word alone on your lips.
“No, little one. Zhongli. That is my name.” He kisses down your shoulders, nipping at the skin.
“Ah!” Your tail flickers around and you purr.
You take the initiative to kiss him this time, and your hands start roaming his foreign clothes, fumbling with knots and pawing at the fabric. He chuckles at your frustrated whine. You want more, more of this feeling, more of him. To touch his skin, cover him in kisses, worship him.
(Show him what a good Omega you can be.)
No…
You want to make him feel good and please him.
Elegant fabric falls down discarded as he shakes off the layers of his top and you blink surprised. The fabric was bulky and covered up his figure. Lean but muscled, tantalizing like honey. You immediately latch onto him, nosing, scenting, nipping and kissing, feeling the faint outline of his abs and muscles twitch under your touch. He smells so good, he feels so good…
Your Omega instincts are starting to cloud your senses more and more.
Suddenly one of his hands gently squeezes a soft breast and you moan at the sudden touch “O-Oh!”
“You’re sensitive here, do you like this?” He asks, massaging your chest.
You whimper and nod frantically, tail wagging behind you. You had never been this responsive to having your chest played with, though then again, it was rare… but his sensual touches were quickly undoing you. Wetness pools at your gut and you rub your legs together.
Lord Mor- Zhongli… leans down then and something wet flicks over your nipple making you gasp, before warmth surrounds your nub. You cry out even louder. He sucks and laps at it and you instinctively tangle your hands on his hard dark hair, your legs wrapping around his waist.
You groan again, too many layers on the way.
“C-clothes… off, please!”
“As you wish, my dear dragoness.”
He continues squeezing, kissing, caressing and lapping at your skin, leaving a couple of hickeys along the way and teasing his Alpha fangs against you as his attention descends through your body once more, continuing his trail of kisses along your hip. His fingers dip down the waistband of your mesh pants and when you raise your hips to help, he pulls them down.
You’ve been naked in front of others more times than you’d like to count. But there’s something oddly intimate and special about this situation right now.
Your ears lower in apprehension, and your tail flicks by your side, resisting the urge to cover up. Lying down with your legs slightly spread around him. Already flushed, sweaty and panting.
“…You’re gorgeous.”
Huh?!
“I’m so lucky to have found you.” Zhongli nips at your hip. “So lucky that you want me too.” He kisses at your inner thigh.
Your breath hitches.
You’re the lucky one. Completely overjoyed that this Alpha likes you, desires you.
The first touch at your core has you mewling.
Zhongli strokes at your folds, still gentle, finding you soaked as your slick coats his fingers. Your body jolts and you moan “A-Ah!” He smirks against your thigh and nips there again as his fingers move in circles, teasing, testing, before moving to your clit. A finger pad stroking it just so, making your whole frame tremble, like every nerve in your body is being stimulated.
“Mngh- please!”
His fingers travel between your folds. First one sliding in rather easily, pumping steadily as you shudder in pleasure, and then two, making you writhe, bucking your hips against the touch, pushing them deeper, chasing that feeling.
Your body feels hot, too hot. Every sensation blocked except that warm wet feeling down there, in your new heaven. Your hands claw at the sheets, a pleasant fog setting in and you can feel yourself slipping into your most primal needs. But oh, oh, not like this.
You want him. Need him.
“You- y-you! please my lord!”
Something snaps in the Alpha’s eyes and Zhongli growls. Golden eyes dark, swallowed by lust and need and you whine when his fingers leave you. You vaguely hear rustling noises and before you can protest again, he pulls you up back on his lap and oh…
He’s big.
His erection stands proud between your bodies, rubbing against you and you shuffle impatiently, nuzzling against him.
Yes, yes…
Zhongli helps positioning you, gives himself a few strokes, and you feel his cockhead kiss at your entrance, you whine and stare at him rather confused. “L-Like this? B-But I have never- This is n-not how-”
He kisses your forehead, your nose, and pecks at your lips. “I can imagine this is very different from how they’ve taught you Alphas mount Omegas, but I my dear, intend to make love to you.” He whispers, hot breath fanning your cheeks as he nuzzles you, so close, so intimate. Your heart hammering wildly in your chest. “Like this you will have more control. I want you to relax, enjoy, my sweet dragoness.” He kisses at your cheek, down your jaw to your neck. “May I?”
You can feel your eyes water. No one had ever told you that. No Alpha had ever been this patient or even asked your permission before. Words die on your throat as you stare mesmerized at Zhongli. Grateful. Incredulous. Completely enamored.
You nod, and he guides you down.
It’s different like this. So much different.
You bite your lip and whine a little once you start to move, his hands hold your hips as you raise them and sink back down on his cock, inch by delicious inch. You feel… full, but warm, good. Your insides clench around him and he groans.
Oh… you could get used to this…
“Hah… ah! … m-my lord... I’m…” You feel dizzy but in a good way, your body tingles all over and it’s exhilarating, addicting.
He leans forward a bit, nosing at your collarbone, soft kisses tickle your skin and he… he’s almost purring in delight, inhaling your scent. “I told you, you can just call me by my name... Would you let me hear it?”
You buck languidly on his embrace, enjoying this…sensual experience, these new feelings and sensations. His tender closeness, his intoxicating pheromones, his deep baritone.
Him.
“Zhongli…”
His name comes out as a needy cry and he growls, Alpha pride clearly satisfied. His hands roam your body just enough to shift position and pull you even closer, hips rolling in tandem, picking up speed, his fangs grazing your shoulder.
Your head is swimming in pleasure, fuzzy like stuffed with cotton, small little “Ah… ah… ah!” moans punched out of you. You’re vaguely aware of your nails digging onto his skin but you can’t even stop yourself, you need to hold onto something, anything.  
Even your tail subconsciously curls around his ankle (and he doesn’t even seem to mind), like every cell of your body is screaming at you to hold onto him and never let go.
Zhongli’s own breathing comes out in harsh puffs and satisfied groans as he buries himself in you over and over, the sound of skin slapping on skin becomes more prominent.
And then, he hits a spot that has you seeing stars.
Your eyes snap open (when had you closed them?) Back arching as if struck by lightning and letting out a high-pitched moan. H-How did he do that?! What was that? You don’t remember ever feeling like this in previous bonding attempts.
“M-more?” You mewl in delight.
Zhongli looks at you with a satisfied smirk and it only fuels the fire in your belly.
“Gladly.”
That same wonderful feeling travels up and down your body again and again as your moans and whimpers rise in volume, calling his name over and over. Zhongli kisses you, deep and passionate. Whispers praises and sweet nothings on your flickering dragon ears. Touches you so soft and reverently. Your body feels so hot, your mind going blank, you can feel the base of his cock swelling with his knot and the familiar coil of pleasure tightening as you anticipate it, crave it, more intense and satisfying than ever before.
And just as you reach that high, his fangs sink into you.
You come with a squeal, body tensing, clinging onto him, clenching on him as he lets out a deep satisfied groan, knotting you. Wet stickiness coats your insides and thighs. And everything feels right, just right. Perfect even.
It takes a moment to come back to your senses, and it’s to Zhongli’s hands rubbing circles at your back comfortingly, while he laps and kisses at the bonding mark he left on you.
And then the high comes crashing down.
The bonding mark.
Tears well up in your eyes and start rolling down your cheeks, your tail uncoiling from him and curling around yourself protectively, ears down.
Please no… this can’t be…
Please stay…
Please.
Zhongli immediately notices your distress, in your actions and your scent, completely different altogether. His own instincts going wild at the lack of a happy sated mate scent. “Darling, what’s wrong? I’m sorry did it hurt that much? Did I… harm you in some way or did something wrong?” Oh, he sounds so genuinely concerned.
You shake your head desperately. Of course he hasn’t.
But you will.
Your body will. Betray you as always.
No bonding mark has stayed in your neck for longer than a few minutes. They all fade.
Just like the alphas that place them in you.
And then comes the anger, the guilt, the disappointment, the despair, the loneliness…
You can’t take it. Not this time.
“S-stay… please…” You sob.
Your voice sounds so broken, so weak and tiny, absolutely heart wrenching.
And Zhongli embraces you.
“I will, my dearest dragoness. I promise you.” He kisses one of your horns.
You want to believe him but you can only cry harder…
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The room is dark as your eyes flutter open. It takes a few minutes to adjust and for your mind to catch up. Where are you…? You look around at the wooden walls, nestled in comfy sheets, you see some wooden cabinets and a tea set-
…!!!
You jolt awake, tumbling some pillows from your fancy nest. Your last chance at bonding. The emperor. He was leaving, and then…!
You slap a hand against the junction between neck and shoulder and feel something there, a bandage… you try to stare at it confused, though it’s impossible from the angle. And then fear consumes you. What if… it’s not there…?
Your body is still naked, though you have been covered with a thick fabric while sleeping, as it now pools at your lap, your Omega scent and that of an Alpha mixed together pleasantly, you turn around.
The Emperor. Lord Morax. Zhongli.
He sleeps peacefully by your side, on your nest, after having mated you.
He stayed.
You stare at his handsome features, fair skin, dark long hair, strong jaw, muscled arms. His lips slightly parted as he breathes evenly. So at ease.
You want to reach out and brush at his hair, touch his face, kiss him.
You want this moment to last forever.
Looking up slightly you see the large mirror, see yourself. A tiny thing, with freaky ears, horns and a tail.
It was… good, while it lasted. Almost like a dream.
Tears start falling down your cheeks again and you try to be as silent as possible as you pull and lift at the bandage in your shoulder. And there underneath it is… something?
Your fingers trace a mark, a wound, it stings and you hiss.
No way. There is no way.
Hope flutters in your chest, your stomach flips and you feel dizzy, nervous. A bonding mark? Is it real? Is it still there?
You shuffle out of the nest as fast and stealthily as you can, standing in front of the mirror. Hair a mess, eyes wide, pale in fear.
And there it is. The clear mark of an Alpha bite, still rather tender. A claim. A bond.
You start sobbing as you trace it, touch it, feel it. It must have been hours, there is no way…
It’s there, it’s there, for real. You want to laugh, to cry, you’re still nervous, scared, hopeful, happy, a million things at once.
But how? Why now?
“Hnng… darling? Are you crying again?” You stiffen as you hear the voice, deep and hoarse, laced with drowsiness. You turn and see him sit up and yawn carelessly like a rishboland tiger. Elegant and intimidating like one too with his bright golden eyes, Alpha fangs and muscled figure. Still naked as well, you note.
“T-the bonding mark… it’s still there!” You exclaim to him, gesturing to it.
“You should let it heal nicely.”
“Y-You don’t get it!” You huff. “My Lord… it’s still there! I’m bonded, I’m yours!”
He chuckles. “Rather, I would say we belong to each other, now.”
Belong to each other.
That sounds nice.
You turn back to the mirror, still staring at it, poking it with a finger softly, as if afraid it’ll disappear, as if it was an illusion, a dream.
But it’s there.
“For years… for years I thought I was doing s-something wrong, that there was something… wrong… with me…” You cry softly. “No Alpha had even bonded me…”
Suddenly you feel strong arms curl around your frame, a chin resting at your shoulder where it kisses your skin, and then brushes over the mark. It stings but you welcome it.
It means it’s real, all of this is.
Zhongli inhales, taking in your scent. “Well you see my dear, a dragonblood… a xiānshòu like you, can only be truly bonded by one of its own kind.”
The words take a moment to process, to sit on your brain, and you frown confused, staring at him from the mirror. And then your eyes widen.
Golden antlers crown his head, majestic and almost glowing, small scales appear under his striking amber eyes, the color of burnt ocher. A large tail, even bigger than yours in golden and brown hues, sways lazily behind him, before finding yours and intertwining with it, the feel is foreign but not unwelcome. Like holding hands.
You turn around so fast you almost trip if it weren’t for his hold. The dragonblood features are still there, in plain sight.
Your throat feels dry.
“You… you’re…”
He raises a finger to his lips and shushes you, then smiles. “I am yours my dear. Just as you are now mine.”
You cling to him and hide your face on his chest as you cry. Overwhelmed, relieved.
Yes, this is where you belong.
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thatsexcpisces · 11 months
Text
Astrology observations pt.9 🌌💙🌀🦋
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Disclaimer: again, these are just my experiences and personal observations on things I’ve encountered, I’m not a professional astrologer or saying that these are always correct.
Virgo risings have such a naturally beautiful “clean girl” look or are a perfect example of the “clean girl” aesthetic
Gemini and Pisces mercuries have a true talent when it comes to lying. They’re amazing of thinking quick on their feet or making up lies to get out of something because their excuses are so damn CREATIVE
I’ve noticed that almost every Pisces moon has puppy dog eyes. (Especially the men) It’s so easy for me to spot Pisces moons or other water moons because they just have these adorable doe eyes or their eyes look like those of lost puppies idk how to explain it💀 this is specifically something I see the most in cancer and Pisces moons, Scorpio moon’s eyes are also “puppy dog” but more intense.
Ex.) Michael Jackson, kanye west, and Ben stiller all have their moon in Pisces and they just have THAT look. Yk what I mean?? 💀
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Capricorn Venus/Venus in 10h house people tend to kiss up to those who are popular or have some sort of prominent status because they want to be around people they think will make them look good
People with the same element of their rising sign tend to become friends or attract each other.
• For example, earth risings May tend to attract friends or become friends that have earth rising top. (Cap, Virgo, Taurus rising.) I’m a Libra rising and my closest friends have usually been other Libra risings and Aquarius risings.
People with Virgo in the big 3 are goody two- shoes
Most Libra moons I’ve met have luxurious or comfortable home lives like they may have a good relationship with their family and are the type to have an aesthetic home routine (ex. My friend has a Libra moon and her family always bakes together or they sit and watch a movie together at their mountain house and drink hot chocolate & shit like that lmao)
Pluto in 2h people truly are obsessed with their money and possessions. As someone with this placement myself, I can say that the most Pluto 2h thing I did was hide even the smallest amounts of money in the most secretive places so they wouldn’t be stolen, not sleep unless I found that necklace or top that I realized went missing, and literally got in the faces of people who owed me money until I got that shit back😭
why do so many sun in Scorpio men get rejected so much by girls😭 this is just something I noticed but most of them tend to feel unlucky in love either cause they’re very active pursuers when they’re interested in someone and sometimes come off a bit too strong and then they end up feeling insecure abt themselves after getting shut down by their love Interests. They’re so hot tho
Venus-Neptune aspect people: how’s it going idealizing and fantasizing about your crush that are really not as amazing as you’re making them seem?
Scorpio Venus people’s flirting style is staring at you intensely but not approaching you or saying anything
Leo risings and moons would rather swallow a jean jacket and DIE then to have people see them at their worst or see that stuff they’ve been bragging about and “good stuff” happening in their life that they talk about to people to impress them and be popular, is not actually true or happened lol. They’re always keep that perfect image of themselves to others
Capricorn risings have this face where it looks like they literally couldn’t care less about you or anything you’re saying. Or they just look bored of being in your presence and wanna leave
Don’t piss of a Gemini moon. They take revenge through their biggest strength: gossiping and then spreading that shit. They’ll have the whole building hate you a day later over some rumor they made up of you and managed to convince others is true
If you have Venus in your 12th house you’re gonna go through many karmic relationships in your life time
Libra risings can be the darkest or shittiest people on the inside but that Venus-ruled aura or just their looks or the way they carry themselves will literally make people delusional into thinking they’re an angel on earth
Pisces in big 3 culture is being told “why is your head always in the clouds? ” or “are you even listening to what I’m saying?” Constantly because those daydreams will literally get the best of them
Aquarius And Capricorn men when they were younger give me the vibes of those nerds in school who literally don’t care what anyone thinks and won’t have an issue calmly roasting or talking back to a bully but would never be able to physically fight them instead they just use sarcastic and monotone sentences to win. 💀
Fixed sign moons especially Scorpio moons attract so many people who are possessive and obsess over them
If a Sagittarius moon feels betrayed by you or is angry with you to the point that you did something they can’t ever forgive, they won’t bother getting revenge or being upset and shady with you. They will simply just erase your existence from their life and forget about you. They can still act nice and behave normally with you but that’s only because they master indifference and the concept of acting like you just came and left, which will hurt you the most.
I swear Mercury in the 5h or 8h people house think about sex on a daily basis omg
Aquarius and Sagittarius Venuses always attract each other somehow. They’re a good pairing
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yestrnight · 7 months
Note
hiiiii!! if you do sub readers, can you do a sub ditzy/dumb slime reader who gets fucked by kaveh and alhaitham? if you don’t wanna you don’t have to, but thanks for reading this!! nd i really loved the other slime reader fics!!
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˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ ACTIN' LIKE A DAMN HYPOCRITE !
FROM: kaveh / gn! slime! reader / haitham
SUBJECT: you did something wrong and now you're fucked. literally. except i did not do the request and it became kaveh and haitham fighting over you while you get plowed and haitham's a hypocrite the entire time.
( gn reader but they have a CÙNT, seeex, idk this is pretty tame bois )
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no matter how endearing you are— all of your gurgly-voiced, innocent-eyed adorableness— one cannot just let you roam free without some sort of discipline. after all, who knows what you're capable of? you're a humanoid slime that kaveh picked out of nowhere, that alone should raise some bells, and plus the fact that you were sucking the living soul out of their dicks every day should warrant you a damn collar.
alhaitham raises his brow at his roommate, who coddles and coos at you in your slime form. "this is why the pesky thing keeps thrashing our room. you spoil them too much."
kaveh stops babbling to you in baby-talk just to shoot his roommate a glare. "oh, shush you. even if they look like a human, they're still a slime through and through. it can't be helped that they'll be a little rowdy every now and then. it's part of their nature!"
"if their nature is going to cost me 10,000 mora for renovation, then it becomes quite the inconvenience for me, i'm afraid," haitham deadpans, shutting his book and leveling his senior with a stern stare. "as the one who found them, do you even have the means to get that money right now?"
kaveh winces. "well, i... i'll manage somehow. somehow." his tone becomes pitiful at the end. finally realizing that he has to teach his little pet some manners so that they won't keep bankrupting him, he turns you around and tries to muster the harshest glare that he can. you notice that the situation has become serious, and in his hands you slowly morph into your humanoid form as you tilt your head innocently.
"kav... eh?" you gurgle in questioning, wide innocent eyes looking up at him. "did i do something wrong?"
"yes, dear," he starts, and he reddens when he notices haitham's amused expression from the corner of his eye. "that was very naughty of you, to destroy haitham's study while we were away. we... i..." he heaves a breath, wincing as he continues to speak. "we need to punish you. you've been a very bad slime."
"we?" haitham cocks a brow.
"oh come on!" kaveh groans. "i know you want in too!"
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he's not wrong about that. not when haitham's deep groans sound throughout the room as he's fucking your wet pussy like his life depended on it. it was nice, to be the one fucking instead of being fucked. he still had his pride after all, even if you had stripped him of it countless of times before.
he pinches your clit as he grinds his cock deep into your cunt. you let out a squeal, a cross between surprise and pleasure as you start leaking more and more slime around his cock. he's always been a petty jerk, and it's become more obvious when he relishes in the cloudy expression on your usually clueless face. the face of his dreams and nightmares, staring down at him as he drowns in his own shameless pleasure as if they haven't stripped him of all his dignity.
he swipes a thumb across your lip— relishes it when you shiver in pleasure from his touch— and dips it into your mouth. "this is how you ought to look like everyday," he says, serious eyes studying your face as you whimper and suck on his thumb. "brainless monsters like you should just sit still and submit like a good pet."
"don't be so mean!" kaveh admonishes his roommate, giving him the side eye as if he's not sat behind you and torturing your chest with those delicate fingers. "we're just disciplining them. you don't have to demean them like that!"
haitham shoots him a glare and kaveh, not one to back down from haitham, glares right back. "you don't have the right to talk, " he spits, glaring moodily down at your fucked expression. "you brought this one into our home and allowed it to destroy both of our lives."
"oh please," kaveh sneers. in his aggravation, he pinches your perky nipples so hard that you let out a small sob as he abuses them. "destroy? more like destroying your ass." his smirk widens when haitham blushes angrily. "we both know that after your done plowing my cute lil [y. name] you're going back to taking their dick in your ass."
haitham clicks his tongue, venting his frustration by rutting too deep into you. he's close, kaveh can see it, if the white liquid leaking from his head and floating in your slme torso was any indication. "as if you don't do that either," haitham snaps.
"well, i'm not a bitch about it," kaveh scoffs.
"you act like damn slut when it comes to [y. name]."
you rock up and down against kaveh while you whine and moan from haitham's rough handling. kaveh pecks a loving kiss on your cheek, snuggling into your neck, and you whine back as you try to find his lips again. kaveh grins at haitham.
"better than acting like you don't get bitched everyday."
haitham growls, but says nothing more. once he's done turning your body into his creamy white, he's coming after kaveh.
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yoohyeontual · 1 year
Text
My parents love to tell to go see a professional more than actually listened to me
#‘’You never talk to us!’’#i actually did a million time and was said to either get over it or life is life you don’t have a choice#oh wow you are so right this is making me feel so much better !#…..#the fact that it’s mostly my mom saying that I don’t ever tell her anything when I spent so many days telling her what’s wrong with me#but she keep telling me I don’t tell her either she thinks my problems are problems are she dosen’t care and try to act like she does#she literally told me to stop arguing with her cause it’s her weekend off and she dosen’t wanna deal with this#so her having a free day is more important than my mental health got it#also the fact that she knows more than my dad cause one of the thing making me depress would need me to come out to my dad and I’m not doing#that*#also i am doing something that adhd test also have other section for other things including depression and anxiety the two things#they keep telling me to check but I don’t have any money to actually see someone neither do they#wtf they want me to do getting a diagnostic won’t help me i will just be able to put a name to it#I love them to death but they are so close emotionally sometimes it’s horrible#I get that my dad was like that cause my grandparents were zero affectionate so they probably act the same way to him#but my mom ?!?! who had the most loving parents and family ?!?! I don’t get how much she’s egoistical when it comes to emotion#idk how to express myself but I’m so tired of this#alex.txt#tw negative#tw negativity
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nvrsaidiwasinurcloset · 3 months
Note
idk if you wanna do this but stepcest smut wth ethan landry and reader??? xx sorry if it’s to much
Hiiii! This is the longest thing I've written so far! I hope you like it, I love to build up a story lmao
Pleaser - Stepbrother!Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader
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This contains SMUT - Minors DNI
Part 2, Part 3
Summary: Your stepbrother is getting sick of your innocence facade after seeing the real you.
A/N: I know this won't be everyone's cup of tea, and that's fine. But I've had a few requests like this, so I wanted to write something for the people that are into it. lol, it's 3.6k words, ya girl's been working on this for HOURS.
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Your stepbrother is a pain in your ass. Not that you’d admit it out loud though, because your mom thought you were always sweet all the time. You never complained, never acted out, never did anything you shouldn’t.
Ethan saw right through your “Act” as he liked to call it, after running into you at a house party when you’d both graduated. He saw you in the corner, sipping a mixed drink as some loser was trying to get in your pants. He nearly choked on his drink when he saw you go upstairs with the guy, and he immediately felt the jealousy wash over him.
Since then, around your mom and his dad, he’s never made it seem like you were anything other than the narrative you created. When the two of you were alone, though, he loved to do things that made you squirm in your seat. Like the day he was hard as a rock in his grey sweatpants, walking through the kitchen as if nothing was wrong. Or the time he came into your room to ask you a question, wearing only a towel that was hanging lowly on his hips, the water droplets from the shower still on his chest and shoulders. You could never forget the time his hand trailed up your thigh at the dinner table as he was having a normal conversation with his dad, and dirty thoughts ran through your head. After that night, you decided that he needed to sit across from you instead.
He knew you thought he was attractive, and how awful you felt for feeling that way. You’d kind of hoped your mom wouldn’t marry his dad, because you had a crush on him before the night you were introduced to your mom’s new boyfriend and his son. He felt the same way, as he eyed you from across the table that night. Before you knew it, they were engaged, then married.
You had this hot stepbrother move in a few doors down the hall from you, so your innocence act was upped a few notches, hoping that would deter him from trying anything with you. It worked for a while, but after that party, it all went up in flames.
“Hey, sweetheart. Wayne and I want to go on a little weekend trip since we didn’t go on a honeymoon. Do you think you’ll be okay here with Ethan while we’re gone?” Your heart pounded in your chest as your moms’ words as you sat at the dinner table.
“Yeah, I hope you two have fun,” you said, a fake smile plastered on your face to hide how nervous you were.
“I’m sure we can find plenty of things to do,” Ethan said, a smirk playing on his lips. You kicked him under the table, the pained look on his face making you smirk right back at him.
“I’ll leave money for takeout and whatever you guys might need. We’re going to drive up tomorrow night to beat the traffic,” Wayne said, not noticing the interaction.
“Okay, cool. I’ll keep the place clean while you’re gone,” you said to your mom, as Ethan rolled his eyes.
After dinner, you offered to do the dishes so your mom and new stepdad could pack for their trip. With the dishwasher being broken, Wayne volunteered Ethan to help you dry them.
“Do you always have to be such a kiss ass?” he asked, drying a plate and putting it in the cabinet in front of him.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said, as you scrubbed food off another plate.
“You’re always trying to please people, it’s annoying,” he said lowly, as his dad popped in the kitchen to grab his extra phone charger.
You exchanged smiles with Wayne as he grabbed it and walked back out.
“Like that! You always try to make it seem like you’re this innocent person, but I know you’re not,” he said, taking the plate from you.
“I still don’t know what you’re getting at, Ethan.”
His eyes grew wide as he started to get frustrated.
“Quit playing dumb, I know you’re into me, too. I know you think things about me that you shouldn’t. I see right through you, baby.”
You dropped the fork you were washing back down into the sink and grabbed a towel to dry your hands.
“You finish the dishes, asshole.”
Your words were quiet enough for only Ethan to hear you, but they were full of venom. He started to laugh to himself as he stood in front of the sink, finishing the dishes.
Later that night, you were still mad. Ethan was intentionally trying to push your buttons, and if he was going to play dirty, you could too.
When you finished your shower and walked out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel, you heard Ethan walking behind you. You smirked to yourself as you accidentally dropped your phone on the floor in front of you.
You bent over in front of him to pick it up, flashing your exposed pussy to him. He stopped in his tracks as he took in the sight, feeling himself getting hard.
“Oh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t know you were behind me,” you faked embarrassment as Ethan muttered ‘Slut’ and walked around you.
“What was that?” you asked.
He turned and stepped towards you. You were backed against the wall in seconds.
“Don’t start shit you don’t want me to finish,” he whispered in your ear as he towered over you.
Your breath hitched in your throat as your wetness started to reach your upper thighs.
He backed away and smiled sweetly at you. “I’m going to get some water, you need anything?”
You probably should’ve asked for water too, considering how dry your throat instantly got. You shook your head, as you walked into your room.
“Goodnight, sweet dreams,” he said, as you sat down on your bed.
Sexual frustration was coursing through your veins as you sat there. You were almost disappointed that the interaction didn’t go like you’d hoped. You wanted to tease him and go about your night, feeling like you had the upper hand, for once.
The next morning, you decided to go to a friend’s house while your mom and Wayne were at work. You needed to be as far away from Ethan as possible. You didn’t even want to think about him.
“So, how are things with the hot stepbrother? Is he still single?” she asked, the suggestiveness in her voice making you a little jealous. So much for not thinking about him.
“Uh, I don’t know. We don’t talk much,” you said, turning your attention to your phone.
“Well, if your parents are going out of town, maybe I could come over and get to know him,” she smirked, as you rolled your eyes.
“Ethan’s dad isn’t my parent. And we’re not supposed to have people over,” you lied, making her huff.
“Do you always do what your mom asks?”
You started to get mad. First Ethan was giving you shit, now her.
“You’re not coming over to try to fuck Ethan. End of conversation,” you snapped, as she started to get defensive.
“You know, it almost seems like you want to fuck him,” she scoffed out, “Or maybe you already are.”
“This is fucking stupid. I’m going home,” you said, grabbing your stuff.
No, wait. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that,” the tone of her voice was very apologetic, so you turned to face her.
“I’m not having sex with Ethan,” you sighed, “I just don’t want to talk about this.”
“Okay. You want to go to the mall or something?” she said, changing the subject.
“Yeah, I need to get new bras anyway.”
She got up and grabbed her keys, heading out the door with you.
After you made it to Victoria’s Secret, she convinced you to get matching sets of everything you bought, just in case you ever needed it.
“I highly doubt I will need it,” you laughed, as you put the sets in your basket.
“Yeah, right. I know you like to play up the whole ‘I don’t have sex’ thing, but you’re so full of shit,” she said, grabbing a few things for herself off the rack. “I know of at least 3 guys you hooked up with last year.”
“Okay, fuck you,” you said, playfully nudging her into the panty table.
“Ooh these are cute!” she said, holding a pair up. “You need these!”
You rolled your eyes as you added them to the basket. “I need to get the fuck out of here. This graduation money is supposed to be used towards college stuff.”
She started to laugh, “Yeah, well if you get dick in college then I think you’re still using it for the right reasons.”
After heading out of the mall and making it back to the car, you saw a text from your mom.
Mom: Where are you? Dinner starts in an hour, and I’d like to see you before you leave.
You: Sorry, heading home now.
“Hey, I need you to take me home. Mom just texted me,” you said, your anxiety creeping up. As soon as they left, you’d be alone with Ethan.
“That’s cool. We’ll be there in ten.”
When she dropped you off, you hurried to get inside. You set the bag and your purse down on the floor next to the door and went to the kitchen to help your mom with dinner.
“Hey, mom,” you said, giving her a side hug as she stood in front of the stove.
“Hey honey, did you have fun today?”
“Yeah, did you have fun?” Ethan asked from the doorway, holding up the bag that contained all the things you’d just bought.
You mouthed a ‘What the fuck’ to him, before responding. “Yeah, I just got some new stuff for school. I’ll be right back.”
You snatched the bag out of Ethan’s hand and took it to your room before your mom had a chance to see it.
“Who are you planning to wear all that stuff for?” he smirked. It was starting to get annoying.
“Not you,” you snapped, brushing past him and heading back towards the kitchen.
As you sat at the dinner table across from Ethan, you felt his eyes on you the entire time.
“I grabbed some groceries on the way home, so you two should be fine. I transferred some money to your account in case you don’t feel like cooking,” Your mom said to you, “Of course, make sure you use some of it for Ethan, too.”
“Of course, mom.” You smiled, “When are you guys heading out?”
“After dinner, as long as you two wouldn’t mind helping us again with the dishes tonight,” Wayne said, looking over to Ethan.
“We’d love to,” he said, his fake excitement over the dishes evident to everyone at the table.
“No need to be sarcastic,” his dad said, “I hope she keeps you in line while we’re gone.”
Ethan started to smile as he watched you.
“I think I’ll have to keep her in line.”
You tried to kick him under the table again, but he moved his leg before you could.
“I doubt that,” your mom said, taking her plate to the sink.          
After dinner, Ethan took his place beside you as you washed the dishes, and he dried them. There was a strong tension there. Part of you wanted to slap him, part of you wanted to fuck him right there.
“Are you going to take this? Or do I have to hold it all night?” you asked, trying to hand him a wet plate.
“They haven’t left yet, you should probably try to keep your act up until they do,” he said, taking the plate from you.
“What the fuck is your problem?” you huffed, trying to keep busy with the dishes.
“My problem is that you were trying to make me hard last night, knowing we couldn’t do anything about it,” he said lowly, not wanting anyone else to hear what he was saying to you.
“You’re the one that’s been making me wet the last few months. I have no sympathy for last night,” you said, handing him another plate. “You haven’t had any sympathy for anything you’ve done. Always smirking and shit whenever you do something that turns me on.”
“So I make you wet?” he asked, his eyes on you.
“Fuck off, Ethan,” you whispered.
“Are you wet right now?” he asked, pressing you further to hear your answer.
“My mom and your dad are still here. Stop,” you said through gritted teeth.
“Answer the question, baby,” he whispered, when you mom walked in.
“Hey, we’re heading out now. It’s a three-hour drive, but I’ll text you when we get there,” she said, as Wayne walked up beside her.
“You two be safe. Be sure to set the alarm, and don’t forget to water the plants,” he said, before they both made their way through the house and out the door.
As soon as Ethan heard the car pull out of the driveway, he took the glass you were washing out of your hand and set it back in the sink.
“I think you still need to answer my question. Are you wet right now?”
“Fuck, yes Ethan! Is that what you wanted to hear?” you yelled, finally snapping at the situation.
He walked away from you and flopped down on the couch, turning on the tv. You followed him, glaring at him as he sat there.
“I don’t understand you,” you said, as he turned his attention to you.
“What do you mean?” he asked, trying to sound as innocent as you do.
“Oh wait, what was it that you said? Don’t start things you don’t want me to finish?” you asked, walking over towards him. “Well, I think you’ve started something.”
You crawled onto him, straddling his lap as he sat there. His brown eyes looked into yours as he waited for you to make another move.
You head leaned towards his as his hands went to your hips. When your lips touched, it quickly escalated. Your mouths moved together, only stopping to pull your shirt over your head. You started to grind against him, feeling his hard cock pressing against your ass.
“Imagine if your mom saw you like this. Her perfect, innocent daughter, trying to fuck me,” he said, placing kisses along your neck. You whimpered at the feeling as his teeth started to graze the sensitive flesh.
“Can we go to my room?” you asked, desperate for a little relief. Your core was throbbing, and your attempts at giving your clit the friction it needed wasn’t enough.
“Mhm,” he said, standing up as you stayed on him. Your legs wrapped around his waist as he carried you down the hall.
He pressed your back up against the door as he started to kiss you again, the angle of your hips making it easier to grind his erection against your pussy.
“Stop teasing me,” you said, his face inches from yours. You were both breathing heavy, both so needy.
“You want me to fuck you?” he asked, looking over your face as you nodded. “I need to hear you say it.”
“Please fuck me,” you whispered.
He carried you over to the bed laying you back as he quickly got you out of your jeans. He dropped to his knees as your legs hung off the side of the bed, his large hands spreading them apart. He leaned in and started to eat you out over your panties, the material drenched in both your arousal and his saliva.
“Oh fuck,” you mewled, as your hands went to his hair.
He pushed your panties to the side, lapping at your dripping entrance. Your bottom lip was in between your teeth as his tongue started to move up, giving you clit some attention. You looked down to see his eyes connected with yours as you sat up on your elbows.
“Does that feel good, baby?” he asked, sliding two fingers inside of you.
You gasped as his fingers stretched you out, both of them bending to give attention to your g-spot.
His mouth attached back to your clit, his tongue gliding across it as he inched you closer to your orgasm.
It only took a few minutes as you started to feel your dripping pussy clinching around his fingers.
“Oh fuck, Ethan,” you moaned out. Your eyes screwed shut as your mouth fell open.
“That’s it, baby. Cum for me,” he said, coaxing you as your hips started to jolt. “Just like that.”
His mouth gently licked your clit until you started to come back down from your high.
“I don’t think I’ve ever came that hard,” you said, as he stood up.
“That’s because you fuck losers at house parties,” he said, sliding your panties down your legs. “You could’ve had me making you cum like that the whole time.”
“Yeah, like you even noticed me at school before our parents met,” you said, a hint of sadness in your voice.
“That’s not true. I thought you were beautiful, but you were just so sweet. I didn’t want to hurt you,” he said, reaching behind you to unhook your bra. “It was too late once I saw who you really were.”
His mouth went to one of your nipples, sucking it in his mouth as his hand went to your other breast. He made sure to give each one equal attention as you started to whine underneath him.
“Do you have any condoms?” he asked, “If you don’t, I do.”
“Yeah, they’re in a box under my bed,” you said, as he smirked at you.
“Did you hide them there so your mom wouldn’t find them?” he asked, reaching under the bed and grabbing the box.
“Yeah, she still thinks I’m a virgin,” you said, sitting up as he stood against the side of the bed.
You reached over to unbuckle his belt and unbutton his pants, desperate to get him out of them. You pulled his jeans and boxers halfway down his thighs as his hard cock stood at attention right in front of your face. You felt your mouth start to water as you leaned closer to take him into your mouth.
“Oh fuck,” he groaned, as you took him as far in your mouth as you could. His hand went to your hair to hold it out of your face as you moved your head back and forth, your spit dripping down his cock. Your hand reached up to stroke what you couldn’t fit in your mouth, twisting your hand a little.
“Okay, if you want me to fuck you, you have to stop,” he said, laughing. “Who knew your mouth was good for more than the fake niceness that comes out of it.”
You rolled your eyes as you laid back, his hand reaching in the box to grab the foil-wrapped protection.
“Hurry up,” you whined, watching him take his time.
“You almost made me cum a minute ago. I don’t want to bust as soon as I get inside of you,” he said, rolling the condom on. “Be patient, baby. We have the whole weekend to do this.”
He took a couple minutes to give more attention to your nipples, before his mouth met with yours as he slowly slid inside of you. You moaned into the kiss as he stilled inside of you, giving you time to adjust to his size.
His mouth didn’t leave yours, the two of you making out as he started to move his hips. You were both moaning and groaning into each other’s mouths, releasing the sexual frustration that started to build months before.
He pulled away to watch your face as his fingers trailed down your neck, over your collar bone, all the way down to your throbbing clit.
“Oh shit,” you babbled, the feeling of his two fingers rubbing against you as he fucked into you making it hard to form words.
He pulled your legs up over his shoulders, making it easier for him to hit that special spot inside of you. The spot that was making your vision get fuzzy every time the tip of his cock hit it.
“I-fuck..gonna cum,” you finally got out, as your legs started to shake against him. He loved watching you as the wave of euphoria washed over you. The way your nipples got even harder, the way your eyebrows furrowed together, the way you got goosebumps.
As he watched, he felt on the edge of his own orgasm. “God this pussy is so perfect. You’re gonna make me cum.”
It only took a few more pumps into your fluttering walls for his hips to stutter, groaning out as he released into the condom.
“That was…amazing,” you said, your voice showing how tired and fucked out you were.
“You want to go to bed, babe?” he asked, as he took off the condom and put his boxers back on.
“Can you sleep in here with me? you asked, as he shook his head.
“No, I think that would be crossing the line.”
You started to laugh, “So what just happened didn’t cross any lines?”
“You’ve got a point,” he said, crawling in your bed beside you. “I really think you should consider wearing some of that stuff you bought today for me, just saying.”
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mars-and-the-theoi · 7 months
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Low energy Devotional Acts for when you don’t have a lot of energy (or time, or money, etc.)
💀Thanatos💀
- listen to a devotional playlist for Him
- listens to ‘dark ambient’ soundscapes
- learn about butterflies
- if able, visit a cemetery
- learn about the work that death doulas, hospice workers, funeral directors, morticians, cemetery caretakers, and grief counselors do
- if able tend to the grave of a loved one (tidy it up, bring new flowers/decorations, etc.)
- talk to deceased loved ones (doesn’t have to be anything fancy- I talk to my dead dog all the time I say good morning to him and when we leave I tell him we’ll be back etc. whatever you wanna tell them you tell them!)
- learn the stages of grief and how complex grief is
- if interested and able (I know this can be touchy) learn about the process of dying and what happens to the body after death
- learn about what you can have done to your body after death- there’s lots of interesting options out there! Burial at sea is still very much a thing that can be done, I didn’t know that until I got curious and looked this stuff up!
- if able and willing talk to your loved ones about what your wishes are for when you die- what do you want to happen to your body, what do you want your funeral to be like, etc. (I include this because I used to work in assisted living and nothing is worse than your family just not knowing what your wishes are for when you die, I’ve heard too many horror stories)
- learn about death magic and spirit work
- learn about the Victorian era spirituality craze (like the uptick in things like seances and all that, it’s all very interesting)
- learn about the many ways to communicate with the dead
- destigmatize death- death has become a very hush-hush subject which doesn’t really do us any favors in my opinion so don’t be afraid to talk about it, talk about your wishes, etc.
- learn about funerary practices throughout history and around the world
- learn about the meaning of death throughout history and around the world
- listen to songs about death
- read poems, books, plays about death- there’s a lot of them and they’re quite interesting
- watch movies/shows about death (my personal favorite is the seventh seal)
- if able and willing reflect on your own thoughts and feelings on death (can be death in general, about your own mortality, etc.)
- look up cemetery symbols and symbolism! And whenever able do a cemetery scavenger hunt
- wear black
- learn about how to help someone who is grieving
- listen to goth music
- be kind to spirits
- learn about haunted locations
- read ghost stories (idk if this counts but my personal favorite is The Legend of Sleepy Hollow)
💤Hypnos💤
- listen to a devotional playlist for Him
- listen to calming soundscapes
- learn about symbolism in dreams
- learn about the stages of sleep
- if able establish and practice good sleep hygiene
- learn about good sleep hygiene
- if unable (or you have a hard time sleeping) look up calming and quiet activities you can do instead
- listen to calming music
- if able make your bedroom into a cozy safe space
- learn about herbs and plants with calming and/or sleep inducing properties
- if able donate some bedding you don’t use anymore (even animal shelters will take some! Bedding is always in high demand in all sorts of places so if you’re needing to unload some this is the chance to do it!)
- learn about our sleep cycles and the circadian rhythm
- if you have young family members (kids, little siblings) tuck them in and/or read them a bedtime story
- if able slow down and rest
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chasedbyunclewalt · 11 months
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A whole bunch of random extremely specific headcanons I have been thinking about forever for dating all the different dead poets~~~
Charlie
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Hear me out
He’s the ‘tough’ one of the group
This is terrible but I think the dead poets made him tell Todd about Neil because no one else could bring themselves to. (I wanna write a fic about this so bad)
Charlie aggressively cares for all his friends
He needs someone to aggressively care for him
So when you guys are alone it takes time for him to lose his tough guy facade
But when he does he’s kind of a baby
Clinging to you
Wanting attention
Having someone to care for him is so foreign but he loves it and tries to care for you the same way.
You guys when you aren’t being all lovey and adorable are like partners.
Making joint decisions, just working well together overall
He likes to high five you and then kiss you
Like high five, grabs hand, pulls you into a kiss
Todd
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His parents literally never keep an eye on what he does over the summer
So he’s always over at your house or you’re at his
His house is gianttttt and has a pool
Not that he cares that much
But it’s impressive to say the least
Jefferey is the only one of his family who actually knows you’re dating
Like I said his parents don’t care like at all
But Jef is actually super nice and supportive
Todd gets lonely very easily
So if you’re not together he tries to call you
If you don’t pick up he writes about you
He gets the best gifts
Not because of money or anything but because he’s so thoughtful
Everything thing he gives you has an entire train of thought behind it
Modern day AU almost every time you text him he screenshots it and sends it to Neil asking how to answer
1950’s universe he’s one of the few families with multiple television sets and lets you watch whatever you want.
He likes sleepovers
And his favorite way to cuddle is him sitting up on the bed with you laying on his stomach wrapped around him.
Touch starved.
Meeks
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Gets sooooo annoyed when his glasses are dirty
He absolutely hates it
You buy him portable lense cleaner
He loves you period
Like everyone can tell this boy is in love
His love language is acts of service
So he’s always offering to help you with homework
He literally did your laundry once
He’s so down bad anything you do makes his jaw drop
On the floor
Stunned
You guys create your own secret language
He speaks it faster than you and usually say’s disgustingly sweet things
Great with kids
Great with parents
Plant dad. He loves those big vine things idk what they’re called but they wrap around the room
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