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#idk just the vibes i get from those posts...same energy as all the adults who yelled at me as a child for not trying hard enough to focus on
katnissgirlsmakedo · 2 years
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i’ve been doing such a terrible job selling the infernal devices i just know helena is watching me post like “damn she really expects me to read this flop trilogy??” so i am now going to write up a potentially very long post where i try to reason to myself in real time why i was wrong when i read it in middle school and it’s not as bad as i’m describing and if i reread it as an adult with better taste i would enjoy it immensely. ok. so first of all i don’t like steampunk shit i think it’s cringey in the same way panic at the disco is cringey. however my brain was probably just over saturated with cringe due to being 13 years old in 2014. if i read it now it would be post-cringe, camp even. secondly, i didn’t vibe with the love triangle stuff. i hate love triangles and it always seems incredibly and annoyingly obvious which one of them will be endgame. tessa and will are still no exception to this, it is painfully and annoyingly obvious in tid that they’re getting together in the end, as much as cassie tried to trick us with tessa and jem’s engagement. she didn’t trick me. HOWEVER. NOW i know that i was looking at it wrong. i was 13 what did you expect from me i literally was performatively obsessed with one direction back then. so NOW i understand that the whole appeal of tessa and will and jem is that they are three people who love each other equally and it’s not necessarily a choice between any of them as much as the eventual outcome was dictated by circumstance. technically in canon will and jem are just platonic besties but like if cassie can log on to HER tumblr and say “hey. they might be gay. who’s to say really” then i think i can log on to MY tumblr and call these men gay. and of course, will and tessa only married because jem had to become a silent brother, and then a hundred years later he stopped being a silent brother due to yk. jace accidentally blasting him with the heavenly fire that was consuming his body (it happens). and then immortal tessa and still alive jem got married. and she doesn’t love one of them more than the other. and sorry for spoiling the ending in my defense these books are nearing a decade old. my next point i don’t remember what number i’m on. when i first read these books i thought will was too mean and i thought jem was too boring. so i wasn’t into tessa interacting with either of them really. like. i was right, will was mean, and jem was boring, but like. will wasn’t as mean as he seemed, he was just a bit of a cunt. and jem wasn’t as boring as he seemed, he was just kind. i was a divergent fan ok kindness wasn’t exactly a trait i was used to seeing in my fictional dudes. but am now and i think jem has nice boy swag even. well ig he’s a man now but he still has that nice kindness swag!! and he’s my bestie kit’s dad! will does still serve annoying edward cullen-esque ya love interest energy but i think i just have to forgive and forget that considering cassie is Weird about her herondale men sometimes. idk something is just wrong with that woman! i forgive her tho. i’ve forgiven more for less. and finally. i did not care for the plot! however! who does? i already know the plot, if i reread it, i can just skip the dumb stuff. everybody wins! in conclusion, i think we were ALL haters when we were 13, and when i’m done with chain of iron i’m gonna give tessa and her boys another chance for the first time since literally 2014. i’m optimistic about it those guys are literally my buddy lucie’s parents… if nothing else they are my buddy lucie’s parents!!
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toytulini · 3 years
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u know what actually im just gonna say it, those posts that are like "if you can read x long fictional fandom thing you can read y long non fiction political commentary or dry long book or book about incredibly heavy and hard topics uwu" annoy the shit out of me. like i get the point theyre trying to make, but like. the insinuation that you can read this thing bc youre able to read this other VERY DIFFERENT thing in this like grating, condescending tone just pisses me off. not even touching on the fact that i know i personally struggle to even work up the executive function to read Fun Fictional Things i WANT to get into, its like...a Thing, im pretty sure, in ADHD that it is significantly Harder to focus on smth you are not actively interested in and sometimes obsessed with. like. i could tear through an entire book series im obsessed with in like 2 weeks but i would cry for hours every night trying to accomplish math homework that "should" take like 10 minutes, or finish a book that was assigned reading that you Hate and Cannot maintain focus on. Like, no, being able to focus on and finish one thing doesnt actually mean that you can accomplish the same with another Very Different Thing of the same length.
And like, thats not to say that we should Only ever read fun lighthearted fiction things and not have to focus on learning important info, about history and politics and systemic oppression, but like, can yall find a way to talk about it with condescendingly acting like engaging with these two things is exactly the same and that ppl who engage w the fun lighthearted accessible fiction thing are choosing the fun thing out of malice? like idk just recognize that it does require a different energy and state of mind to engage with that sort of thing.
#toy txt post#like i can hyperfocus on certain interests and push through the slog of material that isnt accessible to me as someone not in that field of#study Sometimes on Some Topics that i know other ppl Absolutely would not be able to do. but i can keep trying and ramming my brain against#it even tho i struggle to undersrand bc im mega interested in it like that time that i just fucking. read that paper on coral metabolisms#for fun. sometimes i can activate an interest in smth and hyperfocus my way through the inaccessibility of the text or even just the topic!#but i cant always do that. and i cant do that for every topic. and so sometimes trying to read smth. even if its very important! is just#like. nothing. nothing is entering my brain no matter how hard i mash my head against this wall. if i dont take my adhd meds honestly tryin#to force myself to focus in that way will just straight up give me a headache and make me go to sleep.#idk just the vibes i get from those posts...same energy as all the adults who yelled at me as a child for not trying hard enough to focus o#things that hurt and were hard vs me reading books under my desk. and i honestly didnt even get it that bad as a kid bc so many of my#interests at the time that i got obsessed with was BOOKS. if i had been like that about video games or movies or even comics i know damn#well that it would have been seen as me actively being like. manipulative when i said that i struggled to focus on homework but then turned#around and was able to focus on playing a video game for 12 hrs! and i know that def now bc i struggle to read books these days and instead#i watch tv or play video games which isnt as respectable.#and like im not saying that we should all let ourselves get fully lost in fun fiction media with no criticisms of it etc okay like i#i know thats not good for any of us and its not helpful and can lead to some Damaging Discourse but god damn. try not to sound so...#'shame on you for not being able to force your brain to focus on hard things when you can so easily get your brain to focus on fun things'#i do not control the focus!! and even when i do it is with GREAT EFFORT to focus on things that havent just. caught me#idk just recognize that it takes more effort. and that sometimes the reason ppl arent engaging w that but they are w fun light things is co#all their mental energy is being expended on other things. and the fun thing doesnt take much
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timefospookies · 2 years
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Uhhhhmmmmm Matt n Rosa hcs? :0
BEST FRIENDS YOUR HONOR BEST FRIENDS!!!!!! IM GONNA MAKE A SEPARATE POST ABOUT THEIR DYNAMIC B)
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Matthew Hubris (he/him)
13 years old in 2002 B)
- Matt is like THE role model for all the kids
- I’m talking perfect grades, perfect manners, perfect hair, the very embodiment of the perfect golden child (the adults absolutely adore him for it)
- He’s actually kind of arrogant ngl BDJKDK
- But he’s not a bad kid!!
- He’s genuinely very selfless and loves helping his family :]
- Like if there’s something that needs to be done, he’ll be the first in line to help just out of the goodness of his heart
- He wants nothing more than to make his family happy because in the end, that’s what makes him happy
- He’s always fun talk to since always has something to tell (it’s actually hard to get him to stop talking LOL)
- He’s friends with practically every Moon Child in the village, even the grown ups
- Like this kid has spoken to everyone and knows everything
- All the gossip and the drama
- He doesn’t really share it with others since it’s really none of his business
- Unless you him ask about it
- Then I suppose he would be obligated to tell you a little bit, but whatever it is, you didn’t hear it from him 🙄🙄
- HIS HAIR IS VERY SOFT AND SILKY
- He takes care of it a lot, his entire self esteem depends on how good his hair looks BSJSJDJJ/hj
- (He’s insecure bro he needs to be perfect to live up to others’ expectations as well as his own 💔)
- He will freak out if it gets messy so I wouldn’t recommend touching it unless you want him to snap at you
- His Lunar Name is Ifrit (but we knew that already lol)
- He’a a little jealous of Rosa since she developed her gift before he did and thus got more privileges from the higher ups. Even before she got her gift, she already had more attention because she’s one of the high priests’ niece
- It’s not that he’s not happy for her, but
- At times he wishes he could take her place
- Matt’s allergic to eggs LMAO
- DONT ASK ME WHY HE JUST IS OKAY?? IDK
- He has the voice. Of an actual angel. But he gets very embarrassed when people point it out BSJSJ
- Matt was born into the cult
- No Moon Child is allowed to go out of the village without a superior so he’s never actually seen the outside of forest they live in
- And it’s not like he wants to or anything pffff who would want to go out and explore and discover new things and feel free for once in your life pshh nonsense am I right??/s
- He loves it when people from the outside become Moon Children because they’ve had different lives than him
- But he doesn’t want them to think he’s weird for wanting to know about them so he just pretends not to care, to the point where he comes off as irritated
- HE WORKS VERY HARD AND ENCOURAGES OTHERS TO DO THE SAME!! AND ITS ACTUALLY HELPFUL
- PEOPLE GET VERY MOTIVATED AROUND HIM
- He just radiates those vibes y’know
- Love him it’s a crime that I don’t draw him more often 😔
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Rosa Hubris (she/her)
12 years old in 2002
- THESE ARE HCS FROM ANOTHER POST BUT IM GONNA ADD MORE!!
- One of the youngest members to ever join the Moon Children (joined when she was 6 :])
- Her mother was unable to take care of her, so she gave her to her uncle, who just happened to be one of the high priests in the cult
- She’s not allowed to go back to her mother or see her at all :(
- If her mom ever wrote to her or asked to see her, Rosa never found out
- She can’t even ask about it because uncle doesn’t like her mentioning her mother. He gets very angry.
- YOU KBOW THAT ONE POST ON HERE THAGS LIKE “I’m like a cat in the sense that I don’t want to talk to anyone but I wanna be surrounded by people”?!1!!
- THATS ROSA
- She likes company but she struggles to make conversation :’3
- (She’s me)
- She has a lot of pent up energy that she never gets to release because it’s “unladylike” according to the grown ups
- She thrives off of other people’s energy
- Like she will become super excitable if the other people in the room are hyper
- She gets scared to actually speak whenever she gets excited because she may say something stupid, but she does laugh a ton at everything anyone says and that’s how she shows her energy
- She developed advanced powers from a young age. In fact, before anyone else on the cult had before!!
- Her ability is foresight and because of this the higher ups begun paying more and more attention to her. Like she suddenly became valuable
- And when she first got her power all the kids around her would flood in asking for future readings and predictions
- Even now people bombard her with questions about the future AND SHE GETS VERY STRESSED OUT BECAUSE SHE CANT HAVE VISIONS ON COMMAND LMGAOAJDI 😭
- Her foresight comes at random and often leaves her with a terrible migraine
- The high priests, especially her uncle, push her a lot to get her power under control
- They force her to spend hours a day locked in a room trying to master her ability. She hates those days.
- All the other kids have to sleep in rooms together but Rosa was moved to her own dormitory
- It’s very cozy but she prefers being with her siblings
- Rosa tries her best to be positive and look on the bright side of things, but gets worried very easily
- She is simultaneously very anxious about every choice she makes and very impulsive with her choices :’)
- (Again, me)
- Rosa’s Lunar Name is Cassandra cuz. Y’know. Symbolism.
- Rosa expresses herself best through writing!! It’s not poetry or anything fancy but she enjoys it a lot :]
- The only problem is that her handwriting is illegible so
- Not even she can decipher what she wrote LMAO/hj
- SHE LOVES NATURE
- She’s no expert, let me assure you. Like if you point at a flower and ask what kind it is she would probably say “a blue one”
- But she just finds it very freeing :]
- SHES VERY GOOD AT CLIMBING TREES
- JUST CLIMBING IN GENERAL
- The grown ups are always telling her to be “more orderly” and “focused” and “serious” but maybe she just wants to go apeshit bro/pos
- She wishes she could grow her hair out more but the higher ups always tell her it’s inappropriate
- “You have to be an example to your siblings. You developed your gift first after all.”
- She doesn’t exactly feel ready or even qualified at all to be a role model. That was always more of Matt’s thing
- She likes looking at peoples facial features, like she takes notice of eye color and nose shape and goes “huh that’s really neat :]”
- At times she wishes she could go back to the outside and be with her mom
- She’s not even allowed to go into the forest alone anymore (“you’re too valuable, darling”)
- Whenever someone comes with her on her nature walks it feels like they’re intruding into her safe space :(
- I wholeheartedly believe she could beat anyone in Smash Bros Ultimate.
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biblio-bitch · 4 years
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Detroit Evolution Commentary Pt. 3 [FINAL]
It’s been a while, sorry. Life sucks ass sometimes and I had to do some transferring to my new laptop. I’ll write down some more fun facts as an apology. Disclaimer: This is all stuff I noticed, inferred, or interpreted. I didn’t write the film, anything I’ve interpreted is just that, an interpretation based on things I noticed using my experiences and knowledge. 
Fun fact #1: I have attempted to write in a proper novel style at least five times. After watching DE and watching @octopunkmedia ‘s script breakdowns and such, I've started writing scripts instead. I’m much farther along in those than I ever have been in books. 10/10 amazing for my visual based concepts.
Fun fact #2: My mental health was rapidly declining and I was losing interest in quite literally everything at the time the film was released. Watching the film and fixating on it for a month straight not only inspired me but helped me regain control of my life. Watching streams by the cast and Michelle while I worked for school made my productivity skyrocket.
Fun fact #3: I recently developed a tic that I now can’t get rid of. It was out of control for about twenty minutes right before I began writing this post. However, when I began re-watching the film (partially because it’s a comfort for me and I’m quite honestly terrified of what’s happening in the US right now) it stopped. So that’s fun.
As usual, spoilers and swearing under the cut! Quick note: If there should be a trigger warning on this or anything else I post, please let me know! I’m horrible at remembering to tag triggers. I’ll also be doing some quick posts on Umbrella Academy and my severe obsession with Jason Todd soon. Have fun!
As usual, here’s a list of people I know the users of in case you’d like to check any of them out. I’m likely missing people so feel free to let me know who I’m missing so I can add them!
Maximilian Kroger - Nines (@ maximiliankroger)
Christopher (Chris) Trindade - Gavin (@ trindabago)
Michael Smallwood - Chris Miller (@ michaelsmallwoodforever)
Carla Kim - Tina Chen (@ carlahkim)
Jillian Geurts - Ada (@ jilbobaggins_nyc)
Michelle Iannantuono - (@ octopunkmedia)
JJ Goller - Lazzo (@ quasar.cos)
Brett Mullen - Cinematographer (@ brettmullendirector)
Austin Butts - Sound Design (@ austinbytts)
Tiare Solis - Valerie (@ tiareleiana)
So I decided to put all of the rest into this post. It’s a long one. Not even that sorry about it bc I love this film with my entire heart. Warning for me getting sidetracked. I use a lot of Supernatural references but it’s because I’m visiting my dad and he’s binge watching the show. I like Dean and only Dean, don’t bully me for it.
The Wrist Grip™️ in the bedroom before Nines moves back
Shoutout to Maximilian Kroger’s muscles u go dude
Lighting Symbolism™️, big theme through the movie, honestly I think it’s beautiful and they did a wonderful job with it.
The little nod from Gavin as he starts talking about his nightmare 
You can see Gavin gearing up to move, like not in a normal way, in a “oh god I don’t know if I have the energy to do this” way and that’s Relatable™️
The little smile from Nines as they sit together
The SHARK PLUSHIE I LOVE HIM (THE SHARK HAS AN INSTAGRAM @ sharktreuse)
Nines being domestic, making coffee and breakfast, being Soft.
Shirt change??? Either I’m blind or he’s wearing a different shirt in the morning (He is. He’s wearing a t shirt at night and a buttoned collar shirt in the morning. Perhaps he changed? He’s wearing normal pants so he probably changed but he’s not wearing that same shirt in the next scene)
Ada eye rolling at them being passive aggressive dumbasses. Same. Apparently Jillian kept fucking with them which is,, so valid. 
The lighting in this scene (the office pt. 2) makes Maximilian look Android-white and outlined in the CyberLife blue-ish color. Very symbolic, I have no idea if it was intentional.
Another shoutout, this time to Maximilian’s eyebrows, the expressiveness is *chef’s kiss*.
“You can thank me later, Casanova.” Nines: *confused Android noises* 
Honorable mention to Michael’s Foo Fighters t shirt in the bar, it’s vintage.
Nines is in fact wearing a different shirt now. Not the same shirt from the morning bedroom scene. I also think he’s wearing a different jacket. Less of a peacoat and more of a leather jacket. Nice.
Shoutout to Tina’s (not irl) wife, Valerie! And her weird crush on Hank! I honestly can’t wait to see her in Seven Deadly Synths!!
Ada DODGING the questions that Nines is asking because she is SHADY. 
Also, he looks to Gavin when he talks about wanting to be more human. Recurring theme of him perceiving himself as lacking because of his ace-ness/android-ness, like he can’t give Gavin what he wants. Honestly I know that the android thing is a thinly veiled metaphor for race in canon but I kinda like thinking of it as a metaphor for being LGBT+ and in Nines’ case, specifically ace. Might not make sense but it does in my brain??
Gavin Senses Are Tingling and Nines is GONE. Leaving the bar for ur not-bf to try to talk things out like adults??? King shit.
Also electric lighter, fun, I genuinely didn’t know those existed
SHIRT WITH UNBUTTONED COLLAR
“You don’t want to help me, you want to fix me.” What a loaded line. Because in a way, it’s almost true? Like, Nines has this entire simulation of Gavin in his ideal world, and obviously that version of Gavin has probably been idealized at least a bit. Nature of humanity, and Nines might not be human but he’s got the Brain Things. And at that moment, it’s nearly true that Nines wants Gavin to be like that ideal Gavin. Obviously Nines wants Gavin as Gavin, but there’s the edge of that simulation there, still. 
But Nines does want to help Gavin, and that’s where he’s wrong. Nines wants Gavin to get better, wants to help stop the nightmares, etc. But by pointing that out, I think it’s partially why Nines can accept letting go of Simulation!Gavin when Ada attacks him. Because he knows that the simulation of Gavin will never be the real Gavin, and this line sort of helps him understand that he can’t really keep Sim!Gavin anyways.
Again idk if that’s legit but that’s definitely something I felt from that while watching.
Nines is constantly very controlled, but when he walks away from Gavin you can see him straining to keep that composure and not let his anger show. 
Ada looking So Done With This Shit when Nines comes back from talking with Gavin outside of the bar
“I’m sure this will be like...every other time.” Oh honey. Oh my sweet child. I am so very sorry. It most definitely will not be.
Ada’s exasperated Eyebrow Raise before taking a drink. If that ain’t the mood sis.
I love Ada’s bat wings on her outfits. 
Gavin being a stalker and putting his hood up. 
“I’m...certain that most of the credit can go to you.” IMMEDIATE ANGER. Must Defend Boyfriend.
I SO WANTED HIM TO SAY “WISDOM” WHILE TALKING ABOUT GAVIN’S SKILLS BECAUSE IT WOULD MIRROR HIM TELLING GAVIN THAT HE ISN’T WISE BEFORE THEY LEFT FOR THE STAKEOUT. He didn’t, but instinct is a better word for Gavin anyways.
Nines has Suspicion™️...press X for doubt... 
*Only vaguely related rant warning*
I do feel that we as a fandom tend to make Connor almost childishly innocent despite him being likely one of the least kind and least innocent characters. The characterization of Nines in this--and pardon me for the off topic rant--where he’s a fully grown man and acts like it is so much more realistic. Nines is a cop, as is Connor. 
Even post deviancy, they were designed and equipped to handle murder. Nines, in a lot of fandom content, tends to come off as an exasperated older brother or a gritty and mean detective, or even worse, essentially a sociopath who feels nothing in contrast to Connor’s childish and extreme innocence. I dislike both. Seeing Nines be a normal fucking person is so relieving, I’m serious. There’s still those elements of ‘oh he’s only been properly alive for like a year, right? He probably doesn’t get Chris’ Casanova reference.’ but it’s not to such an extreme that it overtakes all of his personality traits.
Like, yeah, ok, I get why a lot of fandom content does that. In order to balance what we see Connor do (and in order to further push the Hank as a father line) we over-emphasize the not getting references and such. Honestly I see the same in content for Castiel from Supernatural. Nines, when he’s added, often HAS to be a lot darker in order to make that seem not as jarring and unrealistic.
Doesn’t mean I enjoy it. If you do? That’s great, good for you, but I don’t like seeing those characters be portrayed as such one dimensional extremes. People aren’t like that. On the off chance that someone is such an extreme, there’s still other aspects of their personality.
DE has done an amazing job at not flattening their personalities. Nines and Gavin are three-dimensional and incredibly interesting characters I find myself invested in every time I watch it.
*Onto the commentary again.*
Gavin is still being a stalker
“Particular fascination with the RK line” AHAHA funny. She’s also an RK, and she likely knows more than Nines because her programming is based on information gathering. Her fascination begins and ends with what their programming can do for her.
The little computer details in Ada’s eyes as she copies Nines’ OS, and again in Nines’ eyes when he’s in the alley alone. I believe Michelle did all of that and I am just amazed every time I watch. 
The warped voice effect.
Gavin shifting to hold Nines as soon as he passes out
The ethereal colored lighting is very good for the mood, space hospital vibes
Shoutout to the latex suit they put Maximilian in! That’s not CG! He’s wearing a full body white latex suit. I’m so sorry.
Gavin looks so tired talking to Dr. Maria. His posture is defensive, pulled into himself. Shoulders hunched, arms pulled in. Eye bags, messy hair. Boy looked messed up. Somebody hug him.
Nines’ hair being disheveled and messy in the corrupted Zen Garden, rivaling his assertion that in his ideal world (Aka the normal Zen Garden) his appearance is polished, signifying the loss of control and the loss of the Zen Garden being a safe, ideal space for him. Same concept with Sim!Gavin being corrupted.
Nines: *wakes up in his mindspace*
Also Nines, immediately: GAVIN!!1!!1
Nines believes in CONSENT!! You do not go into someone’s program without asking, ADA.
Ada’s “poor widdle baby” face as Nines is freaking out because she trapped him. Mood.
Tina wearing a low turtleneck and a flannel is Peak Gay, especially next to Gavin “I wear the same leather jacket+hoodie combo every single day and probably the same jeans for a month” Reed, aka the most disastrous and chaotic bisexual I have ever seen. Again, a mood, I honestly felt that one.
The face when Nines realizes that Ada isn’t deviant yet. 
Gavin is blaming himself somebody stop this idiot. 
“Not without Nines.” What a softie.
“The last thing I said to him was ‘I don’t need you’.” BITCH WHAT THE FUCK MY HEART.
Gavin calling Tina “T” in that soft voice is so sweet omg
Ugh the bisexual LIGHTING is KILLING ME, ESPECIALLY as Gavin sits at Nines’ bedside
Tina encouraging Gavin. WLW/MLM solidarity. 
Fun fact: Chris Trindade told Maximilian not to react at all to the big speech but Maximilian literally started crying during it and there’s footage somewhere of the Dramatic Single Tear rolling down his face while he’s still ‘in stasis’.
Yes, I double checked the streams to make sure I got this right, I love the concept though.
Look I cannot get into the speech because I will write 1.5k words on it, but I will say this: It made me cry. The acting, the writing, it’s iconic. The amount of love and devotion they got without even saying the words “I love you” was amazing. Chris is so very talented. 
THERES A TAKE WHERE GAVIN FALLS ASLEEP NEXT TO NINES’ HOSPITAL BED AKSDGAKL IM SCREAMING
Tina is the best wingman ngl
The glitches in Zen Gavin are amazing. The sequence when he’s deleting the Zen Garden is also amazing. I use amazing a lot but it’s deserved.
Nines deleting the Zen Garden and Sim!Gavin is very symbolic of letting go of all of the fake stuff, letting go of the fear he was holding that kept him from confessing to Gavin and I love that
Nines sitting silently straight up. 
Gavin is highly intelligent and I’m so glad Octopunk embraces that. 
*another vaguely related rant warning*
Ok let me tell y’all a thing because this RUINS MY LIFE. People tend to take characters like Percy Jackson or Dean Winchester, whose intelligence isn’t outwardly obvious from the get-go, and remove it entirely. Percy is reduced to an idiot who can’t tie his own shoes and Dean is often shown basically unable to research without Sam. Both of those are bullshit. 
Percy has ADHD and Dyslexia, so when often we categorize smart as only book-smart, Percy’s intelligence as a battle strategist and his actual knowledge gets erased. Dean is usually the more physical and shoot-first-never-ask-questions type, and his intelligence is severely downplayed. He made an EMP detector from scratch. Made a shotgun, remembers how to kill things, is a very good hunter, especially on his own. But that’s thrown away because he’s not book-smart.
I despise when people take characters who are talented and smart in ways that aren’t just reciting the periodic table and reduce them to muscles and angst or drooling children. 
Octopunk having a scene where Gavin is working through a case, already having done the things that Chris, someone who was only recently promoted, suggests, is just affirming Gavin’s intelligence in a way I wish I could be not surprised by. Gavin is smart, and luckily I haven’t seen much downplaying that fact. He’s a detective for a reason. Unfortunately I think it might be because the fandom tends to turn Connor and Nines into actual children, but a win is a win.
Now I’m not saying I don’t love a good himbo character but I literally had to stop interacting with Percy Jackson content because people wrote him as incapable.
*Moving on*
“I think I can help with that.” Bitch why are you so dramatic I love him so much.
Nines’ t-shirt says “Detroit City Marathon” 
“You...undead asshole.” What an iconic line. I need a t-shirt. 
“I...hate you.” “You love me.” Harkens back to the beginning where the roles are reversed. Yes I used that unironically. Words are fun.
Gavin looking scared right before The Kiss™️ 
THE PULSE POINT!! THE SCENE WAS SUPER EMOTIONAL SO MICHELLE WANTED THEM TO DO YOGA ZEN SHIT TO PREPARE AND THEN THEY JUST DID THE THING BUT THEY PUT IN THE PULSE POINT 
ANYWAYS THAT’S WHAT GAVIN IS FEELING FOR ON NINES’ WRIST RIGHT BEFORE THE KISS.
I thought that was cute when I learned it in one of the streams.
Nines’ LED spinning blue when they finally kiss asgladkaf 
“What dipshit programmed you to do that?” “I’m the most advanced android ever made, detective-“ “oh you are such a fuckin’ prick!” “Takes one to know one.” I canNOT with them, I laughed my ASS off
The little broken laugh Nines does
Nines rubbing his hands over Gavin’s while they talk about Gavin’s jacket
Shoutout to Chris’ surprised pikachu face. (Tina is also there) That was a joke take, it’s in the gag reel, too. The face wasn’t supposed to make it into the film but Michelle added it. (In the gag reel, Carla yells “Let’s go to Denny’s!” At the end.) 
And Ada’s leather pants. Honestly?? She’s so pretty. I love her. They’re all really attractive it’s actually terrifying.
Nines and Tina being a part of the Gay Turtleneck Gang
Nines’ untucked turtleneck
Tina being a Smart Girl. (Nines calling her “Officer” and her replying with “I’ll make detective someday.”
Chris being Exhausted during the whole meeting. Me too dude.
Chris and Tina doing literally nothing while Gavin and Nines have a whole heart to heart
The WHITE COAT. Tina in her blues. Chris’ Foo Fighters shirt. They’re such icons but they absolutely look like a group of gay ppl who did NOT decide on a theme.
The fight sequence is impressive, considering that they’re literally not stunt actors. I’m not a fight choreographer or stunt person so That’s really all I have to say on that.
Chris patting Gavin’s gun after he explains what he’s doing. \
As a Jason Todd lover the crowbar is unfortunate (had to, sorry)
Nines’ smirk and the TURTLENECK as he spins away from Ada with the crowbar. Iconic. The Big Dick Energy. Especially for someone who doesn’t have a dick.
Chris being a Dad when Gavin runs off to go stop the body calibration
Ada just YEETS Gavin. Iconic.
Ada: *doing the villain “you won’t shoot me, you’re too moral” thing*
Chris: Shut the fuck up *shoots her*
Deviancy sequence, iconic
“You’re awake now” bitch get your own tag line, Markus became Robot Jesus for this shit
He’s HOLDING HER HAND while DEFENDING HER!! PLATONIC HAND HOLDING
Gavin trusting Nines’ decision immediately. Amazing. THAT’S LOVE BITCH.
The SMILES after Ada leaves!! They know they made the right choice!
Ugh the COLOR SYMBOLISM!! This is one thing that Michelle has touched on herself! Gavin isn’t wearing white in this scene because he’s not ‘fixed’, he never will be! He has trauma and he’s just barely beginning to heal from it with Nines’ help. He’s wearing grey, lighter than his usual, but still grey because they aren’t pure or innocent and they’re not perfect!! And that’s the fucking point!! It’s also a contrast against Sim!Gavin wearing white! Sim!Gavin was an idealized version of Gavin in Nines’ idealized world!! Real Gavin isn’t that!! So he’s wearing grey!!
Gavin immediately understanding that Nines is Ace and that it’s ok!! Beautiful!
“You’ve been a whole person since the day you woke up” YES!! YOU DO NOT NEED SEX TO BE WHOLE!! FUCK YEAH!!! (this is ace excitement. In the months since writing this I realized I’m aro-ace and trans so fuck yeah for ace rep.) 
Gavin being a dick and making Nines tell him about the skin thing
THE KISS!! They slowly move more into the light!! Because they’re getting better TOGETHER!!
Ok before I sign off, it’s only 3 am so I think I’m awake enough to talk about this, I like that they bring up that Gavin has like, actual issues that he needs to get through. Let’s be 100% honest here, I see Gavin as having ADHD, depression, and probably a form or symptoms of PTSD. He’s kinda fucked up and I’m gonna be real here he needs some therapy. He’s got trauma and needs to work through it. 
I like that at the end they explicitly have Nines understand and accept that that’s what needs to happen. As someone who has actually had relationships ruined because of trauma (on both sides) that we were unprepared to work through together, if I had seen something like that? Game changer. As it was, most relationships I had seen were idealized and seemed to “fix” those issues by way of just being in a relationship. Thanks major media. 
Now that the Detroit Evolution post series is over, I’m gonna be a bit sentimental and say that this film quite literally changed my life. Seriously. Michelle is such a big inspiration for me and I can only hope to be the same for someone else. 
If you ever have a chance to check out any of the amazing people who worked on this film, please do. To put into context how big this was: I changed my ideal college major from Forensics to Film. 
That’s it that’s all, ending this post at 3:24 am before I literally start crying over it. Thanks for suffering through my long-winded explanations, I hope you enjoyed. Have a wonderful day.
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franksavesthewhales · 4 years
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an immediacy of thoughts post midnight in salem
which i finally got to play! yes i waited until getting a physical copy was reasonable. so after binge playing it tonight ....
the good
>the character models
>that tea shop was really, *really* pretty, overall i liked the environments
>liked the UI; the simplicity of the inventory, the neatly cornered settings, good font size
>being able to rotate items in your inventory was cool
>generally, i like the new movement settings + ability to look around
>nancy’s new voice really grew on me! she beings a lot of energy to it, and you understand deidre’s commentary on your excess pep more
>that indie instrumental BOP they kept playing ... yeah i’m vibing yes i want to download it
>the CCTV clippy guy. hah.
>P A N C A K E S  I N T E N S I F I E S
>the hardy boys were lots of fun, i love joe’s ghost hunting
>and i like that carson had so much to do as a phone contact! and that you can call dr hirst for advice on a lot of stuff without it being necessary. i like when there are those ‘side’ options
>i loved nancy just tearing into judge danforth at the end
>the ability to choose two big endgame choices was really really cool -- i got teegan off the hook but kept the book of apologies secret (i’m sure it’ll look nice on nancy’s kleptomaniac shrine in her bedroom) ... i feel like you haven’t had something like that since thorton hall
>an endgame party is a nice touch
>I LOVED THE PUMPKINS!!!
>carson still being a golfball......classic
the bad
>characters talking in front of you along their voice mail is a hilarious bug but a bug all the same
>npcs mouths not moving while talking
>the mapping wrt movement wasn’t always intuitive, namely the town square, which i found ridiculously difficult to navigate at times ...
>... not helped by how any partner you have with you (hardy boys, joe, deidre) LOVE to hover directly in front of your FOV and make it near impossible to --> forward
>the voice direction wasn’t very even -- more than a few lines sound flubbed in the middle, for example, which might be down to poor patchwork editing, idk
>and the sound mixing on the dialogue can vary wildly
>mei is DYING deidre i don’t have time to listen to your guilty conscience
>nancy drew games are best told in an isolated location with limited space ... half of downtown salem just being blocked off by a sinkhole was pretty LOL, and like with say silent spy, being a city that doesn’t feel big is a little offputting
>especially when nancy keeps saying “i’ve talked to EVERYONE” after you’ve talked to 2 people
>or how you just ... have to stop moving in a direction despite no evident obstacle in your way. why wouldn’t nancy want to explore the hathorne house from the back?
>joe stealing the letter from nancy for lulz was funny, but an IMMENSELY lazy way to justify that
>no explanation for lauren not being in the tea shop the first day, and it being ‘too late’ makes no sense since per clock it’s not even noon
>that one book in the museum about kids also being victims was really poorly written lol
>”what’s the secret exhibition” “witch street art” oh you mean exactly like ... what the banner advertised?
the ugly
>the character animations veered from ‘awkward’ into ‘pure jank’ more often than not
>the judge’s rigging was atrocious he was melting into himself
>the visual quality was pretty Ehhhhhh, lots of blocky/floating textures esp. in the forest
>the game crashed on me twice (for clicking too much) which is pretty unstable for such a light game
>deidre sure loves to teleport like watson, deeply unsettling, did not like
>that one tourist in the square who sounds like she was recording her lines inside a tin can with the volume at 150% ... what was with that. who allowed that.
>you can clip directly into the tea shop at night lol
>making me talk to ned when i was doing my best to ignore him smh
>WHO PUTS THEIR GOTDAMN TO-DO LIST IN A BOX IN A CIPHER HIDDEN IN THE FUCKING GRAVEYARD FFS
the future
>in a lot of ways this felt like a potential ‘final game’, or at least the epilogue for the ‘old era’ ... nancy is on the cusp of adult professionalism -- will she join the hardy boys in their agency (please!) -- will she and ned finally be able to spend more than 5 minutes in each other’s presence (hopefully not!) -- everything awaits!
>i hope the divergent endings based on how much information nancy chooses to reveal/how she chooses to frame things continues to be a thing ... it’s a really interesting technique you see in more and more mystery games of late and it will introduce more complexity to nancy’s character
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thistangledbrain · 3 years
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I think I’m going to add Day 28 a day early, because I just finished it. This one took me 3 days to write...I had to keep putting it down. I think because meltdowns are our strongest reminders that we are NOT like other people, and that can be hard to accept sometimes, especially when we’re trying so hard to blend in or go along. Also, meltdowns are when we are in a raw, illogical space - which is highly unsavory, to put it mildly. We are vulnerable. Naked. Stuck. Entirely in fight or flight mode - or both. For as baffling and upsetting as you find it to be - trust me, we aren’t having a good time, either.
*takes a deep breath*
Ok, here goes.
Day 28
“Dealing with meltdowns”
Well, this one’s fun. (sarcasm)
I’m glad I got a few days ahead, because this one is hard to think about, so I keep putting it down and then coming back to it. I asked my youngest some questions, but he didn’t want to talk about it, either.
We hate meltdowns. It feels like the whole world is ending/everything is crashing down at once. I don’t CARE if what triggered it was “small” - all the repressed stuff we’ve been trying to squash comes crashing in like the fuckin Kool-Aid Man through a half open door.
But, I’ll start with how you can help.
First and foremost: DO NOT TOUCH!!! NO! BAD NEUROTYPICAL!! NO TOUCH!! (One exception: if we’re trying to blindly bolt from our environment. STOP US.)
I know this is completely counterintuitive to typical human nature, especially with young children. You want to scoop them up and cuddle them and make them feel safe. Sorry, but you just did the opposite of that - you freaked us out even more, and your need to touch and comfort is entirely yours, in that moment. Let us come to you if we want physical comfort - when we do need that, we can be like clingy little monkeys (and if an Autie child clings to you during a meltdown, you *honor* that shit & throw all the loving calm energy you can out there for them - do not say anything or try and talk them out of it - just let them cling to you and cry. Literally - JUST be there). I will say, AFTER the meltdown, we will possibly need some reassurance and kindness, if you can manage it. We will sometimes allow holding when we don’t feel good, with our absolute closest humans, but generally we really want you to just be there but not touch, until we’re ready. Lots of us don’t really want you to leave altogether, at least not for long - even if it seems like we do.
If you want to help, start with keeping your energy (your “vibe”) as calm, gentle, and peaceful as possible. Try not to get frantic or frustrated. If we’re at home or in a familiar space, do things that make our space feel better - drop the blinds/make it dark, place our weighted blanket over us/find our stuffy if we have one, light a candle or burn sage/waft a favorite calming scent, like lavender. If you say anything, use a soft, gentle voice - try not to talk too much...but if you sing, that can be very soothing. Sing very softly - I don’t know why, but soft singing and rocking (if you can stay on key...sorry but it’s grating when the tune is off!) can go a long way towards calming. Things like this can head a total meltdown off or stop it in its tracks, sometimes. Or get us out into an environment that makes us happy (like a nature trail)...but if we’re past a 4 (I’ll explain in a moment), we might not be willing to.
If we’re in a school setting, get us out from under those GOD DAMNED FLUORESCENT LIGHTS...YOU might not pick up on their eye-and-head hurting flicker, but we can. They suck even when we’re in a GOOD mood. See if you can get us into a darker room, or at least one without those &$@!;!! lights. Small things like bright lights, or sounds that usually only cause mild annoyance can become HUGE - for example, my dogs. In my best moments, the sound of them licking themselves will set my teeth on edge - if I’m trying to come out of a meltdown, those sounds - or almost any sounds, really, except white noise stuff - are infuriating. I hate to say that, but 🤷🏻‍♀️ it’s just true. All your sensory shit is dialed to 11 and someone broke the knob off - there is NO “just deal with” whatever, at that point. We aren’t dealing with SHIT right then, so removal to a quiet spot is pretty damn important.
Try to distract or divert us before we’re over a 4 on a 1-10 scale, though, and absolutely before we start looping (the suggestions so far are for when the meltdown is in/almost in full swing - and I’m only speaking for older auties and into adulthood, here, though most of this stuff helps littles, too).
Let me explain “escalation scale” and “looping” - with the help of my husband, who recognizes patterns of escalation as well (in us, and in dogs ☺️). “Looping” is his word. It means no matter what you say, we keep looping back to what’s got us upset/how much we hate ourselves right then/all the bad feelings/past hurts that are piling on to the current problem. You’ll pull us out of it for a second, but then we loop right back to it. Ideally, you want to intervene before we get to the looping, which is about a 7+ on the escalation scale. Once we’re at a 7 and above....we’re consumed by it, and it gets much harder to diffuse. Think of the 1-10 scale like this: 1 is calm, 10 is completely nuclear - above a 7, almost nothing will distract us, almost nothing will divert us except bodily removal from the situation/environment & then leaving us the fuck alone (maybe figuratively but not literally - it depends on your Autie) for a while until we exhaust ourselves one way or another. If you can intervene and remove/distract right around a level 4 - which is right when you start to notice someone is getting quite agitated, you’ve got a good chance of heading the meltdown off at the pass. But if we’re already looping - repeating phrases over and over, looping back to our most upsetting feelings no matter what you say or do, sometimes while rocking or banging, you’re way too late. Now we have to ride it out together...as safely as we can manage. Now you need to make things dark, private, and as calming as you can, if possible. Or just get us the fuck out of the situation that set us off. That helps, too...obviously. I’ll tee up a possible scenario: you’re at an amusement park with your Autie. WHOA stimulation, right? You’re all having a fab time, but suddenly your Autie starts to cry or get angry or otherwise exhibit “I am SUPER OVERWHELMED” energy. 🤷🏻‍♀️ It’s just a lot to process, even when all the things are pretty fun. So, find a quiet place in a park like area to chill. Grab food from a stand - or go back out to your car and sit and eat a packed lunch or have some snacks. Don’t make a big fucking deal about it, either. Just “oh okay, I think now’s a good time for a quiet break”. Keep in mind all autistics are living in a sensory rich environment, and it can get mega overwhelming sometimes. It’s not always bad shit that sets us off.
I’ve mentioned in prior posts how it can feel like someone else is driving the car (controlling the emotions), while we sit in the back seat and scream and hit and try to get them to stop the fucking car and let us out...it’s in these moments that I TOTALLY understand how doctors got autism and schizophrenia mixed up, in years past. At least, that ripping in half is what my youngest son and I feel. YOU’RE frustrated with us right then? BRUH. WE are so fucking pissed and frustrated and upset that we can’t stop the car, too. You’re not helping if we know you are frustrated, either - that’s why I mention keeping your “vibe” as level and gentle and “no biggie” as possible.
I have some tips for head bangers and stuff, that I won’t include in this post but I’m happy to tell you what I’ve done/what can work.
Basically? “Dealing with” meltdowns is just....TRY SHIT. If you’re an Autie trying to manage your own, play around with what helps you calm down. It could be a brisk walk away from anything human, time under your weighted blanket, time in a dark warm shower or tub (idk about you, but in this house - water soothes nearly anything, most of the time), holding your pet, screaming all the cuss words you know into the void lol ....and the same methods might not work all the time (I was “feeling unsubstantiated feelings” the other day, and got into the shower before they overwhelmed me - a usual go to - but this time, the water felt disgusting, being wet just made it all worse. It surprised even me, but you gotta roll with it & try something else). But try as hard as you can to do something that will soothe you. Or find a safe place to let it all out, without hurting yourself. Pro tip, though: do not add alcohol. It not only takes away all the barriers you’ve probably put up to keep from going completely off the deep end, but it also magnifies all the bad feelings. I am, however, a big fan now of smoking a little green. I started trying that about 3 years ago and oh my god where has this been my whole adult life. I can’t take antidepressants or even most anxiety meds...but I can smoke. I use carefully chosen calming and pain relieving indica strains - sativa can sometimes make me feel more anxious. (YMMV)
If you’re the Emotional Support Human™️ of a melting down Autie, the same applies. Just try stuff. Trust me you will know if said Autie finds your efforts upsetting. It’s ok to want to talk to us about it afterwards, in a constructive way. Once we’ve calmed down, we know you’re trying to help. We’re raw and exhausted immediately after a meltdown though (meltdowns usually lead to shutdowns), so give us a little time, maybe. Or maybe not - maybe your Autie will be in a more communicative frame of mind, since it’s fresh. You won’t know unless you ask, maybe like “could we talk about this, or would you like some time to be quiet?” (Again - gentle tone and energy is important.)
Meltdowns are hard for me to write about because these days, they’re super rare, but when they happen, they’re ...well, brutal. Like really, really bad. I had one a few years ago that I think terrified my husband. We were in the car. I was getting so upset (screaming, beating my fists and probably thrashing a little) that he had to stop the car. Luckily we were in the boonies, but...not long after he stopped the car, I attempted to bolt. I felt trapped in between his efforts to soothe and the small confines of the car, and just wanted to bolt. Run. Far away. There was ZERO thought of personal safety at that point. His efforts to contain me were met with violence. I will be ashamed of that for the rest of my life - I don’t even have words for what an amazing human my husband is, and the LAST thing my non-melting-down brain wants, is to hurt him. But all I could think about was doing whatever needed to be done to escape this hell I was in. God. Just writing about it hurts, and I feel fresh shame. I’m telling you all this, so that you understand that *in that moment*, we are a cornered and overwhelmed animal, who wants to just bite bite bite or run away (fight/flight). The things we usually cling to - logic and reason - don’t exist right then. Nothing is logical - which actually adds to our upset.
There may be a time when your Autie feels like this too - and that’s one time where you DO need to intervene even if we don’t like it/hate it/get furious with you for it. If we are trying to hurt ourselves or run, do what you need to to not allow that. I truly believe this is how many young Autie kids get lost - we were upset and we just bolted blindly. We don’t react well to you stopping us....but it’s necessary.
There’s a moment in the Disney movie “Soul”, where 22 becomes a lost soul. Her little bright blue body is engulfed by swirling blackness, and inside that blackness is every bad or negative thing that’s ever been said to her. She starts looping - “I’m not good enough”, “I have no purpose”, over and over and over. This is what a meltdown feels like. In the movie, her mentor quietly hands her a small token reminder that starts to make the blackness melt away - it’s not the token that “society” thinks she should have, it’s a personal one. Shouting at her, blah blahblah talking, trying to reason with her makes her hiss and run away - but *quietly* handing her a tactile object that means something to her, brings her back to the present, and is what breaks the looping.
Here’s the clip of when he breaks through her meltdown. I hope it explains things in a way I’m struggling to. I’ll end with that...if the subtitles distract you, I apologize, I can’t find a “clean clip”.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nmapZFDUkBk&t=41s
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vecna · 4 years
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For fandom meme-swtor?
Send me a fandom!
This one isn’t as spicy as the Dragon Age one, but I still got Wordy.
Also there’s lots of KOTFE/KOTET/etc spoilers in here, so don’t read if you don’t want to see em. (Looking at you, Chignon.)
The character(s) I first fell in love with:
My own OCs haha.
But more seriously: It was actually Darth Malgus! I was always going to play a Star Wars MMO, let’s be real. But when they started posting promo videos and cinematics for the game, my Sith-loving ass immediately gravitated to that guy haha. And then, it turned out he had the same VA as The Architect from Dragon Age, and that was it for me.
If we’re talking about companions, then it was probably Malavai Quinn. Sith Warrior was the first class I got to 50, and Quinn was the first companion that I really got overly attached to haha.
The character(s) I never expected to love as much as I do now:
Most (not all, but most) of the “new” companions that came in with KOTFE and beyond. I was initially really sour when I realized we were losing all our class storyline companions, and they were being replaced with a new crew of Lana, Theron, Koth, my mother-in-law Senya, etc. Especially when they – at the time – said we’d eventually get our class companions back, but it would be a while. So I started KOTFE sure that I would hate the new crew because I would rather have the old one…. and ended up liking them quite a lot! Mostly, lol.
The character(s) everyone else loves that I don’t:
Doc is the main one, jesus christ. If you didn’t read my last post, I just really really really do not mesh well with overly sexual and Adult Humor-y characters who scold you with a “You’re no fun.” if your OC isn’t into it. Doc is the worst example of it that I’ve ever encountered. I always play a male JK, and the fact nearly all of his convos amount to, “Boy, you and me are going to be up to our eyeballs in vagina when this war ends, amirite?” “You don’t want that? Come on, the Jedi Code doesn’t say you can’t FUCK, live a little.” “You’re no fun. Well, more for me.” drives me NUTS. This combined with how he interacts with Kira just does me in. Shoves him out an airlock.
Dark Side Jaesa is another big one, albeit mainly for OOC reasons. I just hate the fact that she even exists, really. I get the appeal of a story where a Sith corrupts a Jedi to the Dark Side, but the way she does a total 180 into gross hedonism while Serving You always just makes me cringe. Plus there’s the fact that straight dudebro gamers are really nasty with her, and she’s the main companion I always see men put into the slave bikini outfit, and just yikes.
Also just a lot of one-off NPCs that everyone goes crazy for and ships their OCs with, but I  constantly forget who they even are lol. Attros Finn comes to mind. I don’t hate them! Just don’t get the appeal I guess.
The character(s) I love that everyone else hates:
Lord Scourge, although I’m not sure he’s really hated as much anymore. I just remember at launch, when all of the overly invested Revan stans absolutely HATED him because of what he did in the Revan novel, and then flooded the tags with vitriol over being “stuck” with him as a Knight, and having to hear about Revan in his companion convos. It was really, really tiresome! Maybe it’s because I never really cared that deeply about Revan as my personal character, but I could not understand the backlash.
Anyway, Lord Scourge is my favorite companion in the game by a long shot. I love the conversations you can have with him about the Jedi vs Sith, and I love the mutually respectful tone those conversations take. (Where other Bioware companions who disagree with you have a tendency to just go, “You’re wrong.” and shut you down.) The fact that he’s so tied in with the plot just makes me love him more, really.
The character(s) I used to love but don’t any longer:
Cytharat, Koth and Theron mostly. Although this takes a bit of explaining, and is a bit Discourse-y – because I really appreciate them as characters, but their role and Bioware’s decisions with them is what made me no longer love them.Here’s the thing: Bioware has a bad habit of introducing male characters that are bisexual, and then having them betray you, leading to situations where they either get murdered or vanish from the narrative entirely. Meanwhile, bisexual women like Lana are untouched and around forever.
I was overjoyed when I first saw Cytharat. Y'all know I’m a ho for purebloods, and the fact that he was Malgus’ apprentice was fascinating to me – and then he turned out to be a bi romance. I got very hyped for him, only to find out he dies like 5 minutes later – or if you save him, he’s never seen again. Huge letdown.
Koth was the first character I fell in love with of the new KOTFE crew – I even initiated a romance with him! – but it quickly became obvious there’s no way to play the expansion without him turning on you judgementally at some point or another. And then, hey big surprise, you can kill him or else he’s never seen again.
Theron I’ve loved since we first got to know him in the Forged Alliances content, but that whole storyline where he seemingly betrays you out of nowhere, only to later reveal he didn’t actually, idk. And then, once again, you either kill him or he disappears from the story. It felt like a weirdly shoehorned in plot for shock value, and robbed us of a second bi MOC character.
You see the trend here? I want to love these characters, but Bioware continually electing to do this shit with bi dudes is tiresome and makes me unwilling to invest any interest in the characters anymore.
The character(s) I would totally smooch:
None.
The character(s) I’d want to be like:
None really come to mind? I just want to be a Jedi, come on.
The character(s) I’d slap:
Hunter all day every day.
The pairing(s) that I love:
Haha, this question is hard, because most of the SWTOR ships I’m invested in are between my OCs and my friends’ OCs.
However.
SCOURGE / KNIGHT IS THE BIG ONE, THE ULTIMATE, THE ALL-TIME FAVORITE. It’s really hard to describe just how much I love this ship, and just how much time and energy I’ve invested into it over the past… 8 years wow……….. To the point of being almost territorial. And it’s also near impossible for me to talk about why I love it, because the version I ship is so personalized with my specific Jedi Knight, especially since it had to live exclusively in headcanon land for so long. Scourge is, more or less, my Knight’s support pillar and the thing that grounds him and keeps him humble, in a world where my Knight is surrounded by people who expect him to be a pure flawless messiah. But, I mean. How can you have a man look at your character and say, “I’ve waited 300 years to see your face.” and not immediately ship it. And then I finally got vindicated after all these years when it was made canon!
I really love Arcann / Knight for a lot of the same reasons as the above, but I just really adore his one (1) romance convo haha. Granted, yes he did a lot of fucked up things, but I was so grateful when he had like… a Zuko-esque redemption. Where he comes to your character and firmly believes he doesn’t deserve forgiveness, and especially doesn’t deserve affection, and is instead met with acceptance and a chance to grow and heal. That’s the good shit.
Others:
Lana / Warrior and Lana / Inquisitor are my particular jam. I endlessly enjoy the mutual respect between Lana and those particular PCs.
Malavai Quinn / Sith Warrior is a longtime fave, and although I DO love him with a female Warrior, I really do with he’d been an option for dudes as well. And I feel the same in reverse about Vette / Warrior – I do like her with a male Warrior, and it’s so sweet and wholesome and endearing, but man I wish she’d been an option for female Warriors.
I ship Risha with every woman – especially Vette and Sumalee – and will be salty until my grave that Risha / f!Smuggler isn’t possible, because I love Risha with the Smuggler but she gives me powerful WLW vibes.
Agent / Watcher Two is also a lowkey favorite, but I ALSO wish it could be done with a female Agent instead. Same with Agent / Raina Temple.
Agent / Vector is very sweet, but again, I will be salty until my grave that it couldn’t be done with a male Agent.
Can you guys sense a running theme here?
Finally: NGL I love Valkorion / Senya, even though that ended in pure disaster.
And people around here used to ship Keeper / Lokin, and tbh, I still kinda love it lol.
The pairing(s) that I despise:
In general terms, I fucking hate every single romance that involves the male PC romancing his padawan or underling, especially since most of them seem like very young girls. I don’t know why this is so pervasive in the game, but yikes Bioware. Consular/Nadia is the worst offender, but they’re all just cringe central for me.
But the big one is Agent / Hunter. This would have gotten me run off Tumblr back in the day, but god I hate this pairing. I mentioned in the last post that I just will never enjoy ships where the two characters actively want to murder each other, but. This just gets magnified for me with Agent/Hunter, where all the mind control and blatant abuse comes into play – and people have a tendency to write noncon rape fic of the two and present it as ~sexy rivalmance~, which is awful. Add to this the “no homo” reveal where Hunter turns out to be a woman, after getting everyone hyped about a dude flirting with their male character the whole game, and it’s just a huge No Thanks from me all around.
And for largely personal reasons I just don’t like seeing female Knights with Scourge. Listen, for YEARS  I was treated like a pariah for shipping Scourge with my male Knight, while being unable to find Scourge content that didn’t have a female Knight plastered all over him. Even though he wasn’t even a romance option one way or another, the way the fandom treated m!Knight/Scourge with disdain while ardently shipping f!Knight/Scourge was offputting as shit. And then, after years, he was made a romance option for women AND men, and all these awful people acted like they were robbed, the way people reacted when Kaidan and Jaal were made bi in Mass Effect. I’m so tired. I never want to see Scourge with a female Knight again.
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kae-karo · 5 years
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lmao so i thought someone asked for an analysis of the gwf vid like i could’ve sworn i had that ask so y’all just have to deal with me posting it anyway here ya go lads golf gone sexual™: the final edition
the fucking. the pirate outfits. the. i’m. i don’t. i can’t. (x) ‘left over from somewhere’
fucking phil ‘u lost ur stick last time i think’ yeah phil sure yeah sure okay buddy
‘choke me daddy festive edition’ @ dan pls stop
what cuties i love them just not actually knowing what they’re doing and messing it up and these awkward long pauses before they burst into a fit of giggles i love them
why did they even bring up the ‘winter update’ like it had no relevance??
crinkly boye
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don’t worry i can host dan what are u even on about
phil out here coming up with a great vid name (yo ho ho) and they went with battle for the booty smh that says everything u ever need to know abt dnp
wow even in this year of 2018 we got yet another ur mum joke (and phil’s right we do love kath)
@ dan pls stop ur bf from making weird hand gestures okay that’s,,,,,it’s unnecessary
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hi they cute
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‘u absolute twit nipple’ how on earth does that still sound so fond what the fuck
and another ur mum joke wow i just,,,,wow
the way dan says ‘oh my god that was good’ like. he never sounds like that??? it’s a good sound he should sound like it more often idk it’s like soft and genuine in a sort of ‘wow i did okay??’ kinda cute surprised way??
‘stop talking about how close this is’ dan,,,,,,really u thought that was bad??? really??? really?????
phil’s deep-voiced yarr and dan’s literal only reaction being that he should’ve made a pun out of it leads me to believe philip does that deep voice often enough that dan is entirely unfazed and idk how i feel abt that
‘just bounced off the rim that’s how i like to play it, don’t go in, just bounce off it’ that cheeky fuckin smile daniel please can u not
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lmao the pirate outfit is unlucky hm
hi i love dan’s lil trying-not-to-smile-but-just-about-to-smile smile when he’s staring at phil it makes me happy
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how did they spend ten minutes (okay ten full seconds) trying to figure out the name of the wheel
dan: makes f/phat booty pun, phil: ‘they’re just filled with ass they’re not even coins’
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same dan
important content
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ik everyone’s said it by now but dan’s choice of adjective was great and i’m here for it (’gaily jumping off the ship’)
dan’s lil smile when phil’s ‘gaily adjusting his stance’
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dimply boye
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how does phil just blatantly ignore ‘phil’s edging us guys’ like idk i mean i hyperfocus too but like damn they really must just talk about that kind of stuff on a regular basis bc u don’t just tune that out y’know
phil’s distracted ‘that is so much ass’
‘yarrs’ carries the same energy as when dan made the ‘ain’t no gravy up in this kitch’ joke in the bunny biscuits vid and stared at phil and waited for his joke to be acknowledged
my kink is dan looking hilariously fond abt phil making bad sex-related comments (’it’s a strap-on’)
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hey phil u know if u swear in another language it’s still swearing right?
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did dan just absolutely commit to the harder flag?? without saying anything abt it? even though he lost?
phil just. out here. purposely almost-swearing. we stan
ik i saw this joke elsewhere but phil ur literally staring at a posh pirate mmkay b
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i just wanna know what was going through dan’s head with ‘oingo boingo i’m a dick’ bc like. u okay there b??
ye dan we know ur geometry skills are quite lacking but glad the whole reference thing just keeps on coming up
‘they’re gonna do an exam about me and everyone’s gonna get an A star’ i mean that’s living in the phandom isn’t it? We all aspire to be phil trash, even though only One can hold the ultimate title
okay like take five seconds and take a step back they’re literally just playing golf i love how stupidly competitive they get it’s adorable
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‘oh dear’ makin a comeback
plankspank.com why are they like this (at least phil didn’t buy the domain this time)
danny u have picked up ur husband’s habit of making a cawing noise whenever u get a birdie
why does he do this
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physically in pain
fucking hell dan why do u have to make this so goddamn sexual i didn’t ask for this i didn’t want u talkin bout how it was a slow one and u put it in and jfc look i read phanfiction for a reason i don’t actually wanna know what ur sex life is like okay
britney spears references wow is it 2010 again or is that just all the foreplay golf,,,,,play,,,,,
dan,,,,,,,,
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re: the tentacle: ‘that is gonna be right,,,,somewhere’ dan we got it u did not have to add ‘right in the poop deck’ and ur fucking noise okay we did Not need that
i lied earlier my kink is dan saying he cannot believe smth
this is just becoming a masterpost of all the weird faces dan makes
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‘it’s part of the loser station for idiots who get everything wrong’ ???? dan help i can’t tell are u a seven y.o child who makes up mean insults when u lose or a twenty-seven year old adult who makes sex jokes n innuendos bc this vid is giving me mixed vibes
🎶🎶there she goes, there she goes again🎶🎶
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awwwww matching nerds
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dan n his fuckin squeaky i’m-making-fun-of-u voice
‘some people are just skilled booty raiders’ #dantops2k18
Important Dan Fact™ if u can see his lil corner of his mouth u can bet u could see his dimple on the other side and i’m suing bc we can’t see it
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why did it take them like 3 tries to figure out they had to time it with the cannons i mean it’s like they’ve never played a vid game in their lives
bite it danny boy u know u want to u also know if it were the other way round phil would’ve bitten at dan’s finger
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more dan face
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phil absolutely going off topic with ‘sometimes i want to explore with fashion’ and dan’s immediate ‘oh do u now phil lmao’
‘so many textures out there’ he cute
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i mean dan cute too but phil cute for sayin it
we stan boyfriends with literally the same brain whining abt lazy rivers and rude kids
hi sorry i just love watching phil when dan’s talking bc he pays so much attention like he used to not do that (back in the day) but like he just really turns and focuses on dan now and it makes me happy
i know we all adore dan’s ‘shut up’ but it always gives me life hearing phil tell dan to shut up
fond daniel
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also phil’s super cute soft natural voice when he’s talking about how he keeps saying ‘watch this’
has phil ever gotten this frustrated with gwf lmao
‘bollocks’ as if that’s a thing they say
just kiss him phil goddamn i mean u wanna win right what better way to throw him off his game
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why did maximum yeet have to become a thing i s2g
‘why am i helping’ bc u have absolutely no willpower and u want phil to be happy bc it makes u happy that’s why
why,,,,,,,why does everything satisfying have to be sexual phil, why. just. why. and then? golf gone sexual? as if that’s not a better title for the goddamn vid than ‘battle for the booty’ at least it’s accurate??? ‘battle for the booty’ i expect them dueling irl over who gets to top next or some shit that is why u call a vid ‘battle for the booty’
dan,,,,,,pls let ur bf make the weird noises okay
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hi sorry what the Fuck is this
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is that meant to be a monkey or some shit like what???????
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that is a skeleton pirate thing what the hell
why does he have such a long face
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idk they cute when they look at each other like they're like having a serious convo even tho they aren’t (although i wouldn’t be shocked if making puns is an important point of communication between them)
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also fun fact i heard phil saying ‘jewel’ for the first like five times instead of duel
phil, realizing he’s said something he shouldn’t have
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a cute
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hi once again i love them
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phil doing his face covering thing why does he always look at least 3x cuter when he’s doing it whilst staring at dan
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‘i got the octopus, he’s gonna marry me, we’re gonna have tentacle hooked babies with parrots on the crib’
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same dan same
and then he turns around n says ‘spank me with a plank and call me poopy susan’ wtf is wrong with them
‘u love a good tentacle don’t u’ show me where i asked
dan, actually considering how that would feel with all the tentacles:
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how did they go from phil saying ‘you love a good tentacle’ to saying ‘(you/we) should get some of those’ to dan saying ‘no, you shouldn’t’ like uhm. wot
this
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