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#idk just ranting in the tags i guess
crowleyholmes · 7 months
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Guys help I think Crowley is possessing me I am very suddenly overcome by such a WAVE of love for Aziraphale????
I mean I've always loved him but Jesus Christ it just got turned up to 100 suddenly I mean he's just so GOOD isn't he???!!!
He's so kind and he's so nice and he's so PRETTY I mean have you seen him in his little outfit with the comfortable-old-couch waistcoat he refuses to ever take off and the silly little bowtie he thinks is so stylish and you know it actually KIND OF IS but ONLY on him??!?! and that beige coat that suits him so well and he just looks so well put together and also so soft and cozy at the same time like HAVE YOU SEEN HIM???
And he's so gentle and he's so full of love for everyone and everything and he always tries So Hard to do the right thing... and he's so ready to change his mind about what The Right Thing is when he is presented with new information like that is such a rare trait!
And he's so FUN, you know all his weird little hobbies I mean who collects old prophecy books and misprinted bibles ONLY this weirdo!! And he's so obsessed with silly little magic tricks that aren't even magic at all when he could very easily do real magic instead but noooo, making people think you're doing real magic when your Not Actually doing real magic is so much more fun apparently idk??? And he collects licenses (shooting guns, driving cars, literally who knows what else, at this point I wouldn't be surprised if my guy knew how to scuba dive and fly a plane), and he learned French the hard way just because?? He likes learning I guess?? And he's so bad at it, it's so silly it's Infuriating but it's also so endearing he's taking such JOY in it!!
And maybe you'd THINK that's all he is, sweet little goofball, but no!!!! Beneath all that soft exterior, this very intentionally soft and fun and kind exterior that he's carefully cultivated for millennia, he's also so incredibly brave. I think about how he was ready to face the thing he feared the most, to save three innocent kids. He was so ready to give up everything he had, fall from grace and spend eternity in hell, just so these kids could live. Just so that family would be spared the grief. Just so they could have a few more short years of human happiness. He lied to his boss for justice and he lied to GOD for justice and he somehow got away with it who does that??? AZIRAPHALE IS WHO. And he Never backs down did you see him pick up his little sword at almost-Armageddon when Lucifer himself rose from hell to end it all and my angel was ready to fight Satan Himself if he had to HELLO???
And then he blew up his halo and casually declared war on hell to save two humans and his former boss and his bookshop what a fucking badass!!?!?
And have I mentioned how pretty he is yes I have but it's worth mentioning again because have you seen his eyes?? Color of the fucking sky, they are, and his nose is so perfectly shaped and his stupid lips with his stupid cupid's bow, and his hair!! Is just so Damn soft it's and I just want to watch him be himself and do his thing but I also want to HOLD him and protect him and keep him safe from everything because if anything ever happened to him I-... UGH.
I don't KNOW.
I JUST LOVE HIM SO MUCH.
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“Hey Clay?” 
“Yeah?” 
“I know you don’t really like to talk about your older bro-...” 
“Did he call again? Ignore it, he’ll stop. Honestly, he should know better by now,” Clay grumbled, not looking up from his project. Last week, Bruce had called him, out of the blue. It had been a weird phone call, acting as if the last several years didn’t happen. As if Bruce didn’t just pick up and move across the country the moment he could, leaving the rest of them to their mother.
He knew he was holding a ridiculous grudge. It had been years. And Clay might have gotten over it eventually, if Bruce hadn’t replaced them with his perfect family. He barely stayed in contact - even with the brothers who weren’t as mad at him. Branch had been young when Bruce left, barely six years old. Clay wasn’t a whole ton better but at least Branch knew him to an extent. Branch at least knew his favorite color. Clay doubted Branch knew the first thing about Bruce. 
“He… he’s here.” 
Bruce wouldn’t leave his resort and his wife and well, now his kids. It was like he expected everyone to pick up and go visit him just because he lived on an exotic island or whatever. As if Clay didn’t have responsibilities or Floyd wasn’t constantly traveling. As if it was so easy for Grandma to leave the house and fly across the country. Bruce barely called and he never, ever visited - much less out of the blue like this. 
Clay stopped and looked up, his head swiveling around to look back at his best friend. Her curly blonde hair was wrapped up in a messy ponytail, which was fairly normal, but the uncertain and awkward expression on her face was definitely not the norm for her. “What?” he asked, shocked. 
She nodded. “Yeah. There is a guy down in the courtyard. He said he’s your older brother.” 
Clay shook his head. Bruce would never leave his precious wife and resort to visit him, especially when he knew how much Clay was upset with him. Had been for years. Honestly, aside from one phone call a week or two ago, Clay hadn’t really heard from him in years. Clay could have chalked it up to Bruce just knowing that he was angry with him for abandoning him - them - with their mother the first moment he could, but he barely kept in contact with Floyd and Branch as well. And they didn’t hold the hard feelings that Clay did. Not that Clay was much better; he didn’t talk to any of his brothers much either. 
“There is no way,” he protested with a huff, rolling his eyes. She must be mistaken, there was no other option. “He’s never made a trip out here. He would never leave his resort. What is he doing out here?” Viva hesitated, glancing away, which was very strange for her. She was very straightforward and easily excitable. Clay felt his brow furrow a little. “Viva…” 
“He’s not… like how you said.” 
He just sighed and took a deep breath. Bruce definitely had a way with people; he always had. Granted, Clay probably painted him in mostly a crappy light, due to the fact that whenever the subject did come up - which was extremely rare - it was not often positive. Clay had a lot of anger and probably a lot of resentment. It was a work in progress. “Look, Viv. I know he’s easy to believe. He seems soooooo friendly and charming that you want to just swoon or whatever. He’s got that effect on people but…” 
“No.” 
“No?” Clay asked, confused. She said it so strong, so flat, so sure and Clay wasn’t sure what to make of that. 
“Clay… he’s not like that at all. He was actually really quiet and awkward and super uncertain but held him with some kind of…rigidness? At least as much as he could,” Viva looked uncomfortable, like she had seen something she really didn’t like. He wasn’t sure what that was about. At the moment, he was more hung up on the description which did not sound like Bruce at all. 
He scoffed. “Bruce?” 
“He didn’t say that was his name,” Viva continued, still uncertain, glancing towards the window. “But you only have one older brother right?” 
Clay blinked and his whole world came to a standstill. “I….” 
“Clay?”
Older brothers. 
There was no way, though. He hadn’t heard anything from him since their parent’s divorce and when he was practically dragged away almost kicking and screaming. Clay barely remembered it; he tried not to. Everyone had been crying but Branch’s screaming, going along with everyone else's tears kind of drowned everything out. It hadn’t been a pretty memory and Clay avoided thinking about it. Coupling that with his mother’s systematic way of erasing anything that evoked him or their father from their house and their lives, it only took a few years for everyone to stop considering them entirely. 
His eyes widened. There was no way. There was no way it was possible. 
Clay didn’t even think. He bolted out the door, not even bothering to strip off his lab coat. There was no way. It had been at least fifteen years. What were the chances? After fifteen years? There was no way. 
He had to be sure. 
Making his way down to the courtyard, with Viva shouting after him, he scanned the area upon slamming the doors open. It had been a decade and a half. He had no idea what to look for anymore. They had all changed. 
“He’s by the fountain, sitting on the stone wall,” Viva supplied. 
That helped. He made his way over, still looking over the area until he spotted a more middle aged guy with short hair and bandages on his arm. When he looked, Viva nudged him, giving him the sign that who she had talked to was him. Definitely not Bruce. 
He looked over at Clay and recognized him, suddenly nervous. Clay just stared. That was all he could really muster up to do. “Uh… hi, Clay. I know you might not really remember me but…” 
Clay didn’t say a word at first, just launching himself at his big brother, knocking him into the grass behind in a hug. He clearly wasn’t expecting it but he took to the action pretty quickly, wrapping his arms around Clay’s back for support and to keep him from being tossed around. 
“John Dory.” 
Clay couldn’t remember the last time he thought of him, much less said his name out loud. He hated that. His eyes were squeezed shut, just soaking up the firm grasp his oldest - his oldest - brother had on him. He had so much to say and so many questions but only one happened to come out. It had been fifteen years and now John Dory just showed up out of the blue. 
“How did…how did you find me?”
It wasn’t exactly what he wanted to say. There was a lot he wanted to say and do but his mouth had run off with him, questioning so much that he really didn’t actually care the answers to. Because he was here. After fifteen years. 
“Bruce told me.” 
Clay shifted slightly. “B-Bruce?” He supposed it might have been easier to find a resort owner before some crazy older college student. Although Clay felt like he had his name out there more than his other older brother, as he had written papers and had been featured in several journals. Although it might not have been in things John might have looked through. They could be pretty niche. 
“I…” John tensed a little and hesitated. “He found me. The hospital found him, I guess? They found him and called him. I’ve been staying with him for my recovery.” 
Clay’s heart dropped as he pulled away, trying to assess. He scrambled off his brother, stepping back. “Your what?” 
John grimaced. 
Viva nudged his shoulder and spoke quietly. “Clay.” 
Clay’s eyes were drawn downward. Sure, there were bandages on his arm but John’s grip didn’t seem to be very weak so he doubted that would be so debilitating and honestly, his legs seemed fi-… where was his leg? 
“W-Where is your leg?” 
“Sudan… I think?” 
Clay just stared. 
“Right, sorry. Kinda dark humor there,” John muttered, sitting up a little more. “I was… I have been, I guess, in the military for a while. Over ten years I guess, uhm… it’s a long story. But some stuff happened, my arm got kinda burned up but it’ll be okay. Head got banged around a bit but that should be fine too. The biggest thing was my leg which… well, that ended my military career pretttyyyy quick. The hospital found Bruce and yeah, I’ve been staying with him but…. I wanted to see you. Needed to see you.” 
There was a pause. 
“Sorry, that was… that was a lot of words.” 
“When Bruce called…” Clay drifted off in realization. Bruce had called to tell Clay about John. 
“He didn’t want to freak you out.” 
“But I hung up.” 
John nodded. “Bruce didn’t really tell me anything about what happened with you guys or anything but I just… I bought a plane ticket and well, here I am.” 
Here he was. 
“Does Bruce even know you’re here?” Clay asked, uncertainly. With John’s state, it probably meant that Bruce was kind of taking care of him, which meant he was in charge of his welfare and health. John was still on leg crutches and probably couldn’t get around super well. It couldn’t have been that long since it happened. 
John snorted. “I am a grown man.” 
“Missing a leg!” 
“So?” John asked, his nose wrinkling. Clay almost felt like he had been slapped. Floyd and Branch did the same thing. “I knew a guy who lost both and guess what? He lives alone. Does just fine.” 
“He’s probably freaking out.”
“Bruce? Probably.”
“Then why are you here?” 
John tried not to look hurt. He would have done a great job too, if he hadn’t looked away. It was a telltale sign and Clay noticed. He didn’t even realize what he had said and how it came out until it was too late. He cursed himself; he didn’t want John to think he didn’t want him here. “I haven’t seen you in fifteen years, Clay. No matter how much time passes or what happens, I love you.” 
Shit. 
“Clay… he’s so cute,” Viva sniffled. “You never told me-” 
“That I existed?” John guessed, making Clay cringe. “That seems to be an ongoing theme.” 
“JD, I just…” he didn’t really know what to say. He didn’t have any excuse, really. He could blame a lot on his mother but that felt wrong to say to him. There wasn’t any real excuse that would make anyone feel better. 
“It’s alright,” John replied, although Clay could tell there was some struggle. Which made sense. No one wanted to feel forgotten by loved ones. Especially not the ones still alive. “Bruce didn’t tell his kids I existed either. I’m getting over it.” 
He shouldn’t have to get over it, Clay thought. He shouldn’t have had to do any of it. He should have spent the last fifteen years with them. He should have been there for birthdays, for their graduations, for their important moments. He should have been there when Bruce got married. For Floyd’s first show. For Clay’s best college awards. Bruce’s kids should have known their uncle their entire life, not just now and so forth. 
“She’s dead, our mother,” Clay said, blandly. He blamed her a lot, for pretty much everything. Not the divorce itself; that was both of them, but for cutting them off from his brother. For forcing his name to never be spoken. For erasing his memory. It was one thing to keep them away from their father, although Clay didn’t like that either, but to keep them away from their older brother was unforgivable for him. 
“So is dad. Over ten years.”
Ten years. Over even. John lost his family, became an adult and lost his father. No wonder he joined the military. 
“Six.” 
“I tried looking for you,” John promised, like it was something he had to convince Clay of. Like he didn’t want Clay to think that he didn’t try. It wasn’t meant to make Clay feel worse and Clay knew it but it did anyway. Because Clay hadn’t. He hadn’t looked. He hadn’t even considered it. “Before joining the military. After too, a little, I suppose. I’m no detective I guess.” 
Clay just stared at him. Did he think…?
“I know…” John frowned again. “I know you’re mad at Bruce but I can’t… I… Clay, I want to be…to have… to be in some part of your life and I just…” 
“I’m not mad at you.” 
Clay hated the almost hopeful look that John stared at him with. It was a expression that screamed he wasn’t expecting this reaction. “You… aren’t?”  
“No. Of course not. Our parents were petty and bitter and it is all their fault. JD, you never… you didn’t abandon anyone. Dad took you away and mom decided to try and erase that part of her life. Have you blamed yourself this whole time? For years?” 
“No, no, I just… I don’t want you to think I stayed away or something.” 
“I believe you,” Clay promised. “And I’m so glad you’re here.”
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rakkuntoast · 10 months
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really hoping for the last debate to let the international members to be able to talk in their mother language cuz admit it or not, its a HUGE handicap that they're not able to get themselves across as they'd like to cuz of the language barrier. they're trying their best and im glad the team is working to better the translator but my god, even if its more convenient for them to talk english its def affecting some of the candidates
this is mostly directed @ insaneduo cuz holy shit im so tired of people that keep missinterpreting them, they wont start a dictatorship go and actually watch their povs
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joshuaalbert · 1 year
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every time I see someone pitch a picard spinoff about [insert character here] I just get so tired like. I know I’m years late to pick this battle but I genuinely just don’t think single character focused shows are the right choice for star trek given that at its core it’s about a group of people working together for a better future. obviously the main character would still have a crew, and obviously the captains have always been closer to main characters than the rest of the crew to a degree, but naming the show after one person means that everything that happens on that show ultimately happens in service of the titular character, and that very individualistic mindset feels wrong for trek imo.
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pparkerized · 9 months
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you're telling me they're making this harry. this fella, this silly little guy into a villain??
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quinn-pop · 10 months
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Mayta Knight 26-28
26 - Dramatic
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27 - Reading
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28 - Arena
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3 left!!
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catboldbot · 2 months
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btw in case anyone was under the impression that that "trans staff makes a statement" thing was meaningful at all, still seeing tranny blogs get vanished
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robotsandramblings · 3 months
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i would love to know the true internal thoughts of Rex in regards to Palpatine. like what Rex actually thought of him.
surely Rex met Palpatine in-person at least a handful of times, right? and while Anakin would've said only good things about Palpatine, i wonder if Rex believed them, or if he ever saw/sensed something else in General Skywalker's beloved mentor and friend
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serenashido · 1 year
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self indulgent mari and aubrey doodle
i drew it and i was like "oh yeah this was an omori art blog haha" so im posting it to make up for my past few posts all being cod related
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bonus mari doodle for christmas
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shes teaching the audience how to trick someone (hero) into walking under the mistletoe (hed kiss her without hesitation if she asked she just thinks this is funnier)
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w1lmutt · 17 days
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Take that might send me to the shadow realm but uhhhh
Runaway kid/the runaway/Rk >>> seven
🏃
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rookie98writes · 2 months
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it's totally fine and normal to write 75% of a fic over two days and then barely touch it for six weeks, right?
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unicornsaures · 1 month
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every1 out here having seasonal depression in the winter like hot girls obv have seasonal depression in march-april-may
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spirkbitch · 9 months
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feels weird that my main acc on tiktok still has more followers than this acc and my spirkbitch tiktok combined like
these people want to see my face? y’all listen to my voice with no filters on it? you care about my opinions on things other than star trek? weird
also some old guy followed my tiktok and like, i’m glad he’s here but sir are you sure this is the star trek content you want to be seeing?
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cozage · 1 year
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I feel like I'm going to be cancelled for this but I have to say it:
I do not like Gol D. Roger.
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itsjustpoopeh · 5 months
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guys. guys. come here. listen. i want to tell you something
if you post something on AO3 and put in the tags or summary any variation of "i'm bad at summaries/tags" i'm just going to immediately mute you without even looking
let me explain why
either you're not putting in the slightest effort to copy and paste a few sentences from your work, or putting in the slightest effort to tag your work appropriately (and therefore not helping readers curate their archive experience) or you're looking for someone to pat your feelings in ways that are, frankly, toxic and gross and half a step from "is anyone interested in this? X comments for next chapter!" and i for one did not ask for a side order of a guilt trip
you might not even be aware that this is the message you're putting down, but believe me it's the one readers are picking up
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emelinstriker · 5 months
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tfw you're just checking on a blog you enjoyed casually looking at after a long while cuz someone reminded you about it, looking for anything new that might catch your eye, only to then read a rant about yourself/your blog/your content with accusations that just prove they glanced over your stuff w/o actually looking at it properly-
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again, just about the entire branding/servitude thing and the either baby reader or baby mk that's literally not even more than fun little what-if ideas.
and there was me thinkin i might wanna audition as a va for them if they ever needed help or anythin, but that idea sunk and the amount of respect i had for their own work went down the drain.
now excuse me, i gotta go back to work cuz i just wasted my lunchbreak typing this out.
just like my disclaimer from my old rant post, i'll be deleting anyone's messages if they try to argue with me about this shit again, cuz as stated before, this type of drama is literally giving me genshin twitter vibes.
it ain't my fault if my stuff got recommended to you and you don't like it. i already stopped using the lmk tag as much because of those anons from a while ago.
idm it if peeps have more of a weaker tolerance level towards others wanting to have a good time playing with literal legos in a way they don't like it, but i also don't want people to talk smack about others' work and call it disgusting just because it's not their cup of tea.
let people play with their legos while you play with your own legos, simple as that-
i'll just leave it at that. don't go after anyone involved either as i hate seeing this type of shit get dragged on. especially if it's all, again, opinion-based.
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