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#idk if im gonna be able to work lol
azuzula · 28 days
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Monster High March Day 1 - Howl 🌕
was this an excuse to draw clawdeen slaying? maybe. you can’t prove anything though.
Alt. Versions Below!
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She’s too pretty i had to include the standard lighting and without jacket
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rains-pace · 2 years
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YOUR CITY GAVE ME ASTHMA - Wilbur Soot
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opens-up-4-nobody · 3 months
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#i was looking through old photos today. they where from wjen i was like 1 and it made me so sad#bc my mum would have been like only a year or 2 older then i am now and she looked so young#and now she has an abdomen full of tumors and blistered hands and feet. theyre prob gonna hsve to remove her bladder#but shes still very pragmatic abt it. but she grew up in a house where no one really cared about her feelings so she made them small#and now her mother calls and doesn't ask how her grandkids are doing and doesn't ask how her daughter is doing. im cursed with terrible#grandparents on both sides but i resent my mothers mother worse. though my dad said i probably wouldnt have survived his upbringing#and hes right. my nana has like zero empathy and cant cook for shit. idk how my parents r so normal but the fact i had a good upbringing is#probably the only reason im still here. and thats the other thing that made me sad abt the old pics. just looking at this little baby with a#fucked up head and thinking: in 25 years that kid is gonna b so broken down their not gonns kno what to do or how to fix it. idk whats wrong#with me. ive always been some stage of miserable but i used to b able to get things done. and now i cant seem to force functionality#and it sucks. bc im home now and i still feel like im cringing around this open wound in my chest. but whatever#as of today ive started taking ab1lify. hopefully it helps in the long term but in the short term it triggers my 0cd. which is not fun#its so frustrating. whatever. i also found out my eyes used to not work together. not enough to have a lazy eye but it was hard for me to#read and apparently my eyes were tracking at like double the speed of a normal person. wtf is wrong with my brain? also also my mum was like#yea i never would have guessed bip0lar but we thought it was something. autism i could see 100% but yea didnt see that coming. ao i guess#i brehave like a bit of an oddball. ans my nana would bother my dad to try to make me participate in church and my dad was like no. she#clearly don't wanna b here lol. ay. they did the best they could which i appreciate#unrelated
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skunkes · 1 year
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u are braver than me for making it to 25 without going crazy in one tiny place.. i just turned 20 and i’m already leaving
who says i havent been going crazy 😏
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volfoss · 2 months
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genuinely such a great feeling when a project just works out like this....
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apricotforher · 3 months
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i for sure need this school to come stop me from being stupid like this
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desperatepleasures · 3 months
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trying not to think about it but also i need to figure out what im gonna do with my hermit crabs and it's not like. urgent but at some point im gonna have to figure out how to change out their substrate and also there's a solid chance i'll have to rehome them someday :(
#(not rehoming them anytime soon but i wanna mentally prepare myself a little for when that day comes)#anyway re: substrate change. this is a 45gal tank filled with ~50lbs of sand etc. and i live in a 4th floor walkup#playsand comes in 25lb bags which i am not physically capable of carrying up 3 flights of stairs. my ex had to do it when we moved here#maybe i can like. hire someone to carry it up the stairs???#but then i have to figure out how to dispose of their current substrate which again. LOTS of sand.#i could probably board them at work for a week or so in a smaller tank while i do the changeout#idk man it's just like. a lot#i feel bad their tank is so fucked and it's like. i can't physically fix the problem!!!#and as far as rehoming like. idk if move out someday i really doubt im gonna wanna move the tank.#i guess it depends on what kinda living situation im going to#and eventually i'll have to move out. or my roommate will move out and i won't be able to afford the mortgage on my own#and still have to move out lol#anyway again none of this is happening soon i just need to accept the reality of the situation#and like am i really gonna go through the nightmare logistics of a substrate change only to rehome them soon after?#but on the same token. am i really gonna give someone a nasty-ass tank? lmao#so. idk. i gotta think on that one.#i just feel bad for them i mean they have a fairly good quality of life#especially considering what most hermit crabs suffer lmao#but. i wish i could do better for them#i could probably find someone to take them at least because of my job lol#the logistics will suck no matter what and also i love those little guys and i'm getting sad just thinking about it :(#but they're only gonna get bigger and i definitely can't upgrade their tank in my current living situation#so either way something has to give ya know?
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neonsbian · 3 months
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did yoga again for the first time in a while bc my back was killing me and i rlly should commit to doing it everyday
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mummer · 11 months
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i literally dont know if im ever going to be able to write again lol.... like im so scared of that
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pepprs · 1 year
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im discontent and tired but like too discontent and tired to put it into words i think. lol
#purrs#prefacing this as usual by saying that i love my job. but also… every single situation. EVERY situation. is a primal situation in one way. l#like either i am dying of hunger / thirst / sleep deprivation and feeling it so hard i can’t focus on my work or i am so stressed that i am#being chased into a hidey hole by all the pressures or i am projecting my parents onto ppl and reliving primal moments of abaondoment and ex#exclusion LMFAO. And it’s like there’s no wonder i am so fucking exhausted every day when i come home i have lived 746 lifetimes in the last#8-9 hours. but it’s just so insane and im so tired. i literally thought i was gonna have an anxiety attack earlier today and it was bc i had#health anxiety bc my heart was pounding so hard over my facilitation anxiety that i got scared my heart was legitimately going to give out a#and then i started spiralling and like. lol i don’t think that’s healthy. i just want the election to be over so fucking bad but also i cant#just throw up my hands and give up and hope for the best i am literally being paid to give everything i have to making the world better so i#im gonna do it it’s just i am so often like the youngest and least experienced person in the room and im insecure about that and also i am j#just scared like… as a person and it’s just a lot to deal with i guess. lol#guess i was able to put it into words lol. but the moments of me projecting shit are so annoying bc then i get mad and then my feelings get#hurt bc no one notices im mad but also i don’t want anyone to notice im mad bc im being stupid for literaly no reason so. idk im just#ear ripped tated right now over stupid stupid shit that genuinely does not matter and has no bearing but when it’s little things that build#up over the course of the day… idk. it’s just hard 💃🏻#delete later#this is abt smth that happened in a meeting today brw it’s not abt anyone including irls i saw today / this week i love u 😽#also side note i saw literally SO many of the ppl closest to me this week. like that used to be an almost every day occurrence and i think t#this week not only did i see… like not to name drop on my tumblr blog with redacted followers but not only did i see you markya and#david but i saw tirzah AND brandon AND radia. WTF!!!!! that’s so many of my favorite people all in one week!!!! :DDDDDDD#(omg pretend i put ‘you’ after all the ppl it applies to)
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moodr1ng · 7 months
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finally done lining my comic (well ok theres 1 page left but its extremely simple its basically just some straight lines so i just havent bothered yet lol) and im v proud of myself for finally getting there but now i have to. do the color. and im gonna die lol
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ozymoron · 1 year
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i hope things will start to feel okay in 2023
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eileennatural · 1 year
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crying rn bc i finally called university health services to get a counseling intake appointment and they said it would be at least 1 to 2 weeks til I could get in which I KNOW is shorter than any regular therapists office and I'm getting this for free but. god
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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#i have to drive to the big city tomorrow morning... which is...#itll b fine. ive done it multiple times before so itll b fine#but also everytime i have to drive somewhere im a sobbing mess bc its so scary#and i space out which is terrifying so i have to sing and talk to myself the whole time so my brain doesnt drift too far#and i dont kno how long i have to b there or if ill b able to find parking...#i just hate is so much. literally its not a far trip. if we have a fucking working train system there would b a train between our two#universities and it would b like 30min. such fucking bullshit. that would b incredible. i would actually b able to go places#fuck the lack of public train transportation. its stupid.#at least i was busy all day. its crazy how much less terrible my day is when im in a semi empty lab working with algae#hopefully i didnt kill the culture bc i had to transfer immediately after making media. i think it cooled enough but well see#fuck. i dont wanna drive. i should sleep so im not more insane tomorrow#its crazy how distorted i get abt driving. i will convince myself that my car is gonna like fall apart while im driving#and that im absolutely going to have an accident caused by me. so i get up like ok this is where it all ends#in a smear across the highway#oh god i have to get gas tomorrow too#thry recommended i get there at 9 but maybe ill get there 8.30 and just like sit in my car crying for half an hour#lol i turn up to the lab with tear stained cheeks like hey sorry if it seemed like i was resistant to coming down here. im very unwell ✌️#bleh. lets not think abt it. dont think just do. and pray i dont have to fucking go multiple days#my reward for success is no spring break bc a stressful project will begin this weekend#but im not even sure i have spring break bc im a lab tech so i think mayne thats not a loss? idk i dont kno#when im supposed to b working or not. it doesnt matter. my tine sheets r a lie#time sheets :-P#unrelated
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dykedragons · 11 months
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i havent been working on much art (burnt out after school and enjoying time with my friends) but oh boy i have been playing a LOT of minecraft. heres miencraft self insert with epic shaders
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writinandcrying · 1 year
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im so close into finally closing an almost one year long chapter (cuz inspiration finally struck after MONTHS) but its 2 am and i have to wakeup in 4-ish hours. tomorrow i have a dnd session so i wont be able to write after work i'm-
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i absolutely hate this
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