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#idk if happy's the word but I'm
royalarchivist · 1 month
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[A sad violin song plays over an image of a sad hamster]
Pac: This doesn't have anything to do with me – I wear a blue sweatshirt, you're crazy, this mouse doesn't even have a sweatshirt, this hamster! [Reading chat] Am I a depressed hamster?
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[ Transcript continued ↓ ]*
Pac: Actually– that's fine! I embrace that idea – of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy? [He hits his desk, then starts counting off people on his fingers] Fit is gone, Richarlyson is gone, Ramon is gone, Bagi and Empanada who were always there when we were there are also gone, I haven't seen them! It's just me and Tubbo, and sometimes Philza shows up.
Pac: I lost Chume Labs, I lost the Favela, I lost Murder Mystery, I lost Ilha Chume Labs, it's crazy! Look at how much I've lost, and I've gained nothing! Of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy?! How am I supposed to be happy?!
Pac: [Reading chat] "You have us Pac," that's true, thank you. No, that's true, sorry.
* NOTE: Please note that this is an incomplete transcript, as I was primarily relying on Aypierre's translation mod at the time and if I am not confident of the translation, I do not include it. As always, please feel free to add on translations or message me corrections.
#Pactw#QSMP#Pac#March 18 2024#As much as I love keeping people updated about Pac / the other Portuguese-speaking creators#I think I might not make as many transcribed posts for their clips anymore#I just don't think I'm qualified enough to be transcribing things for a language I don't know#like yeah we have the Qlobal Translator and Aypierre's translators to rely on#And I'm always upfront when I'm not 100% sure about a translation#but I've been thinking about it a lot and it kinda makes me feel a bit icky. Idk.#I might be overthinking this but I just I don't want to spread around translations I'm not super confident about#esp. since I know a lot of people cite my clips in analysis posts or link them to other people as resources#and 90% of the time I'm like ''Hell yeah I love seeing people getting a lot of use out of the archive''#but sometimes I get a bit anxious like ''Did I do a good enough job translating this''#''Am I ruining someone's entire perception of a conversation or character because I left one word out or mistranslated something?''#And like I said that's normally not a HUGE concern since if I'm not certain about a translation I just won't post a clip. but you know#idk it might just be the anxiety talking but I really really don't want to spread bad info#Happy to hear other folks' perspective#I'm really grateful for people like Bell and Pix and others who translate clips and I always try to reblog those#but we don't have a ton of people posting clips & translating things on Tumblr since we're so English-centric#which is part of the reason WHY I like sharing clips of the non-English-speaking CCs#but at the same time I want to do an accurate job representing what they're saying#Maybe I'll just start posting things and give a TLDR context of what they're talking about but not a transcript#that way native-speakers can hop in and add translations if that's something they're comfortable doing#and if not then well. at least I'm not sharing something that isn't super accurate#idk I'm just thinking out loud a bit in the tags#But I'm open to hearing other people's thoughts on the matter#Anyways giant rant aside. q!Pac is NOT doing ok rn
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t0ecoll3ctor · 9 days
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dear toe collector,
PLEASE show the pigshifter that'd be so fucking cool
also hypothetically if i had some screenshot edits from an old idea for a toh au would you be curious
thanks, ♠️
ya i think i still have the file on me hold on rq
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boom
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and-corn · 19 days
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I really want a little frogo tattoo but I don't really have put any more thought into than it needs to be a sketch and preferably fromnyou(if your OK with it ofc). But the little frogos fill me with so much joy
it's so bananas to me that someone likes my dumb little doodles so much that they want to get it PERMANENTLY on their SKIN??? Both me and the frog feel so honored and special.
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in true awkward posing fashion, it doesn't know what to do with its hands (or legs).
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turbo-tsundere · 1 year
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“Smile like Gonta! Smile like gentleman!”
It’s 23rd of January both where I am, and also in Japan, so here we go, my small and long overdue tribute for my fav character ever! Or in other words, f that post and happy birthday to the King! :D
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thatgayoctopus · 3 months
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I am rotating and contorting him in my mind
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svtskneecaps · 3 months
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i should be sleeping but i do want to reiterate how much i love that our collective fan community and also the streamers are constantly like, so new members when? new language when? a teaser drops and we're all like germans???? german time????? asiatic language time??????? new faces??? new friends?? new communities????
i've said this before but it just constantly makes me feel all warm n fuzzy to see it. i'm really happy we're all so excited and united in this.
#qsmp#shut up vic#block game brainrot#this was also why purg2 was great for me specifically#like goddamn was that such a chance for me (and others) to meet streamers in an accessible setting#i only really speak english and half french so this was the first time i actually got to watch any aldo and understand more than every like#tenth word out of his mouth lmfao i get SO LOST#also was extremely fun bc goddamn for a while i rly thought i just Did Not Understand French#bc hearing the qsmp french speakers i'm like. damn. i'm lost. i get lost after like a sentence or two idk i'm so bad at understanding them#but dude holy shit i had kenny on while i did work fully like 5 ft from my phone and i was FOLLOWING#I WAS KEEPING UP???? LIKE THAT WAS INSANE so shoutout kenny for speaking french i can understand i rly appreciate the confidence boost#anyway i hope hope hope to see new members soon yesyes#be it purg2 returners (i have my wishlist but the wishlist does have Everyone soooo i win) or a new language!!! OR MULTIPLE 🙏 WOULD BE NEAT#i have said before that i think it would be fun if they drop two+ languages in at the same time#have the new languages work together to do puzzles and get used to the translations before dropping the full force of like#20-30 odd streamers who are unbelievably loud and extremely excited to meet them#would mayyyybe mitigate some of the french arrival where everyone DESCENDED on them and it was SO LOUD lmfao#anyway i will now sleep it just makes me happy to see everytime i see it#i'm excited to meet (hypothetical) everyone too <3
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piplupod · 1 month
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btw artists you should maybe stop posting your art on pinterest if that's something you've been doing, i know a few ppl who have been sharing their art there
i'm not sure if this section has been updated at all or if it's always been this way but I was taking a read through their soon-to-be-implemented update to their TOS to see if they'll be adding anything with the increased usage of AI and this looks like perhaps this section exists (at least in part) for that reason 🤔 [thinking emoji]
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unfortunately their report function for art theft/reposting has historically been less than stellar (an understatement) and I don't really see it improving any time soon but perhaps they will improve it with this update to their TOS and privacy policy! one can hope at least!
link to the preview of the new TOS: https://policy.pinterest.com/en/terms-of-service-preview
alt text for the screenshot below, as well as linked in the embedded image description feature:
A screenshot of a section of Pinterest's new Terms of Service. The subsection heading reads: "How we and other users can use your User Content". The highlighted text reads: "By providing any User Content on the Service, you grant us license to use, store, publicly perform or display, reproduce, save, modify, create derivative works, monetize, download, translate and distribute your User Content. Nothing in these Terms entitles you to any payments or the right to share in any revenue from any monetization of User Content."
Image description note: If you want to read the full paragraph, please visit the page I've linked in the post.
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milkbreadtoast · 2 years
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I drew a chibi portrait of my grandparents for their funeral. TT
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captainschaos · 8 months
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< CAPTAIN'S SLIMECICLE CINEMATIC UNIVERSE TIMELINE >
It's here!!! This is it!!!!! well okay tbh it's still very rough, there's a lot of detailwork that is kind of loose and stuff I'm still theorizing/thinking about, but this is the big look! I also cut down on a lot of the stuff about characters to focus on the timeline itself, so I might make a follow-up post with that stuff because ily council. But this is my interpretation of the scu timeline! I know there's a lot of malleability when it comes to the scu, but even within that there's certain parts I kinda took and ran a bit far with, so hopefully it all makes sense. The line between interpretation of canon and creation of headcanon is thin. Also, since my timeline isn't actually a line, it'd be a bit hard to watch along with, but I'll link the playlist of my personal preferred viewing order anyway HERE! And without further ado, here's my timeline :]
[Long post below the cut- enjoy!]
The Slimecicle Cinematic Universe follows the path of Slimecicle, one of many players who wish to achieve god-power. Players are able to travel between realms with ease, but altering those realms? That takes a considerable amount of power. However, this is not unachievable, and Charlie is one among a group of players attempting to become godlings.
VOCAB I USE: 
Godling: A being of god-power that can alter realms, and primarily uses it for creation.
Demonling: A being of god-power that can alter realms, and primarily uses it for destruction. 
Realm: What we would think of a minecraft world, a separate place that players travel to when they find new places. 
World: Within a realm, it is the earthen spirit itself. More abstract, but a powerful force to be interacted with, and has some semblance of life, magic, and almost sentience itself. 
Dimension: The Overworld, Nether, and End are different dimensions. 
Player: a person who largely interacts with realms, able to move between many, and able to become a godling if powerful enough.
Wild spirit: a spirit somewhere between a person and a beast, connected to the world as opposed to the way players can interact with realms. While both players and wild spirits can be connected to mobs, the connection is generally stronger and more widespread for wild spirits. 
God-power: Expressed by things like creative mode, op, and VR, powers that can alter realms and enforce some kind of control over players within them. 
Plight: What happens to a godling when they are forced to die without respawning or in an otherwise more permanent/impactful way, an effect other than a mortal death. Can be broken out of, but is incredibly difficult, and can have lingering effects unless truly ended. 
< PRIMARY CHARACTERS >
Charlie “Slime” Slimecicle:
Godling of food, enchanting, crafting, and smelting
Plight: DEATH (if worn down enough, he will not suffer a normal plight as other godlings would, but would become mortal and truly die)
Middle child
A shapeshifter by nature of being a slime, and his natural adaptability seems to be related to his proficiency with god-power. 
“Condi” Condifiction: 
Godling of other dimensions
Plight: caged (trapped in a location/pocket dimension of his own, and more importantly, trapped in his own mind in a whirl of penned-up hyperactivity that brings insanity)
Eldest
Condi, Charlie, and Grizz don’t remember if they’re biological brothers or not, but they grew up together, and Condi was always the most adept, the “alchemist assassin,” who kept them safe. 
Grizzly(plays): 
Godling of nature, weapons, and tools
Plight: shackled (forced to comply to the orders of the being that killed him, though it may appear as if he has respawned as normal. Can also more generally inhibit his ability to use his own power as he wishes)
Youngest (twin with Bizly)
Has gained animalistic traits from swapping power with Bizly, mainly vaguely bear/doggish. Since meeting they called themselves twins, and through this exchange have no reason to say they do not fit the word. 
Bizly(channel): 
Godling of mobs
Youngest (twin with Grizzly)
Plight: muzzled (at the most extreme is forced to disappear completely, being entirely unable to be heard or perceived by anyone. Can also more generally cause his words to lose meaning, and it is supernaturally difficult for him to be taken seriously or listened to.)
The only member of the Council who did not grow up with the group: he was a wild spirit (wolven) that was discovered by Grizzly, and slowly honed shapeshifting powers and traded bits of magic with Grizz to walk with players. 
(J)Schlatt: 
Demonling of food and nature
Grew personally slighted by Charlie and the Council, and eventually trapped them in a separate timeline of his own creation to attempt to kill Charlie. 
< TIMELINE OVERVIEW >
Begins with IF ONE PERSON DIES EVERYONE DIES
The VR SERIES (videos marked with vr.) and CHARLIE’S ESCAPADES (videos marked with esc.) then happen at the same time, with the final video of the VR Series being when Schlatt’s timeline is created.
Charlie's escapades then repeat in Schlatt’s timeline, followed by NATURAL DISASTERS, HARDEST DIFFICULTY, and 100 DAYS. 
At the end of 100 Days Condi activates the time loop, which he cannot use to break out of Schlatt’s timeline but he can use to bring everyone back to the beginning of it.
CHARLIE’S DREAMSCAPE ESCAPADES (videos marked with drm.) take place in the haze between his death at the end of 100 Days and him fully being transported by Condi to the beginning of the time loop.
< THE TIMELINE >
MINECRAFT, BUT IF ONE PERSON DIES EVERYONE DIES: 
The conflict between Charlie and Schlatt begins here. Charlie is a trickster spirit at heart, and it is consistently seen to overlap with his joy in experimentation and creation, leading his pursuit for godly power.
This is one of the first places Charlie goes to try and hold his own among others who are growing in power like he aims to, and he at first struggles, as seen in how he fails to survive for long. However, he quickly makes use of this mechanic in his own way, and uses the forced respawns to tease the others. When Schlatt joins, this is especially targeted at him, to his infuriation. 
Schlatt goes to Carson, who appears to be the leading godling of this realm, to ask for Slime’s removal, but he says that “I’m not sure that I can really do that.” This hints to some sort of power Charlie has that is potentially greater than even Carson and Schlatt, the most powerful entities there. In the same conversation it’s said that Schlatt is a broken record, hinting that he has trouble often with wanting to control others and remove them if they bother him. 
This showcases the conflict of the whole series: The rising godling Charlie Slimecicle threatening the power of the demonling Schlatt. 
MINECRAFT IN VR IS ABSOLUTELY TRAUMATIZING (vr.): 
Charlie, Condi, Grizzly, and others begin working in a realm where they start experimenting with more control over their world, specifically by exerting control over themselves and their physicality in the plane (expressed through vr use). 
Narwhal is notably present from the very beginning, as a figure of power among the group, and Wheatie is also a member from the start. 
The excursion near the end of the video to the Nether is most notable as it is recalled in a flashback during the 100 Hunters video, specifically when Condi falls into the lava while bridging. 
MINECRAFT IN VR WILL HURT YOU IN NEW WAYS (vr.): 
Notably Schlatt joins this world, and it’s clear Charlie has a slight position of power over him in this place, and it makes him uncomfortable. 
Bizly also enters the scene in this video, first in a beastly purple and gold skin, then mimicking Herobrine, slowly changing from a more beastly form to that of a player. He was a wolven wild spirit found by Grizzly, and as he gave some of his power to Grizzly to assist his path toward godhood, he gained power from Grizzly that helped him act as a player. 
At the end of this video, Charlie, Condi, Grizzly, and others all partake in first a spleefing tournament, then a “gladiatorial bloodbath” which Charlie wins. Bizly watches this battle, and Narwhal and Wheatie both appear to have been utilizing god-power (creative mode) to create the arena, pouring power into it that Charlie proves himself best suited for. This is another of the beginning signs that he excels in this power.
Schlatt is not present for these later events.
I INVITED YOUTUBERS TO PLAY MINECRAFT VR AND THIS HAPPENED (vr.): 
The rest of the council is not present, but Schlatt and other figures on the server are. 
This video is largely just an example of Schlatt attempting to show he’s more powerful than Charlie, and Charlie continuing to fuck with Schlatt and generally make things worse. 
Poppies make an appearance in the video, as an attempted and rejected peace offering from Charlie to Schlatt. 
MINECRAFT VR HAS DRIVEN MY SOUL FROM MY BODY (vr.): 
The video immediately starts off with Charlie and Travis claiming that Schlatt seems upset, while he vehemently denies it. 
Schlatt also seems to be using the same kind of worldbending power Charlie has been utilizing in this video (VR), potentially as yet another way to try and maintain power over him. However, Charlie continues to prove he has greater knowledge and control over this power, and then Schlatt injures himself while utilizing the physicality-altering power, and this pushes Schlatt over the edge. 
Schlatt gives an apple to Travis, taking control of him, though the power of the fruit isn’t known to anyone but the goat demonling yet. Travis begins to follow Schlatt and work with him to attempt to capture Charlie and then kill and cast a spell on him. It is with the symbolic death in the grave that Schlatt manages to latch onto Charlie’s spirit and begin creating a separate timeline in which he has control over Slime and the Council. 
The rest of the video is a semi-hallucinogenic experience Charlie has as the spell is cast and he, along with his friends, are trapped in Schlatt’s timeline. 
Travis is killed, and with this lifeforce and the ritual he enacts over Charlie, Schlatt puts his foot in the door to start working toward making Charlie mortal, and finally get back at him for the ways he’s taunted him.
ROLL (esc.): 
Narwhal is given power in a realm of Charlie’s, a compromise to utilize Narwhal’s power and allow Charlie to attempt to expand his own. This was an idea proposed to Narwhal by Charlie not long after the creation of the VR realm, as Charlie started to come into his own in that kind of power and became more and more excited about the possibilities. 
Flowers make an appearance as a protective entity. 
During this video a site reminiscent of Molympus is also created, as an island floating above the land is created by the die. 
Near the end of the video the die is dropped by Narwhal and Charlie gains control of it, and more of Narwhal’s power is passed to him. He is immediately able to use its power far more rapidly than Narwhal, and the world is destroyed by their battle. In the destructive blast, Condi, Bizly, and Grizzly are able to escape with the more powerful Charlie, but the weakened Narwhal and Wheatie fail to escape, and are destroyed, their power shattering and being absorbed by the newest godlings, the Council. 
MINECRAFT, BUT IT’S PAY-TO-WIN (OR LOSE) (esc.): 
After the blast, Charlie blames himself for Narwhal and Wheatie’s deaths, so he sets out to experiment with his newfound power on his own. 
This is the most raw of Narwhal’s remaining chance power, which Charlie begins to learn to harness by not being able to control exactly what it does, but by being able to shift how likely each effect may be (changing prices).
MINECRAFT, BUT EVERY BLOCK FIGHTS BACK (esc.):
Condi and Grizzly, concerned for Charlie, ask him to let them help with his experimentation, and suggest they ask Schlatt to come into the equation as another power on par with Narwhal to help. However, they decide that all will be on equal grounds to hope to preserve everyone equally, so Schlatt is not put in godly status. Bizly is missing from this video, having been pushed to the side by Schlatt, unbeknownst to the others. 
Charlie is the only one with god-power (op) to begin with, but he is walked through much of it by Schlatt.
Grizzly is at one point cornered by Schlatt, and threatened with an apple. Grizzly would have no way of knowing of the fruit’s power, and yet he immediately recognizes it and reacts with intense fear. This is some of the strongest evidence for a time loop, with residual memories that would allow Grizzly, the most affected by Schlatt’s use of apples, to remember it when face-to-face with it. It is also important to note that while Charlie does not seem to remember as much as Grizz, he is the one to send Schlatt away by overpowering him with more apples. 
After this, Charlie says he has given god-power in the realm to all members (op), which Schlatt immediately makes use of to try and seize power. 
After this the whole group slowly devolves into using their power more and more. It’s clear Condi, Grizzly, and Charlie have become just as adept at it as Schlatt, using it for jokes and cheats. 
MINECRAFT, BUT IT’S WAY MORE TRAUMATIZING (esc.): 
After the last escapade, Condi and Grizzly suggest they go to their own realm without Schlatt, and Charlie agrees. Because they do not have quite as much control the world becomes far more dangerous. 
This also could be the way they searched for Bizly after he had been missing for some time, as he is more beastlike in origin. This world may even be his creation, not Slime’s, which would further cement why they did not utilize creative god-powers. 
This video also showcases the tendency Charlie and Grizzly are characterized by in wanting to find ways to live amongst the challenges that face them, not necessarily fight to escape. They are far more inclined than Condi to settle in their tower and hunker down there and learn to live with the dangers around them, which is an attitude they continue to showcase in how they handle the timeloop. 
MINECRAFT, BUT 100 PLAYERS ARE HUNTING ME (esc.): 
Bizly has returned to the group, and goes along with Condi and Charlie for the next of Charlie’s exercises in his power. 
This is another example of Charlie’s experimentation with randomized power, as a bunch of random people are spawned in and create entropy in their path. 
Halfway through the video, after all three of them have died, Charlie resorts to using his god-powers, but it is too explosive and causes the world to crash. He shows his growth by reining in it quickly though. 
There is an explicit flashback to the escapade to the nether in the VR series, when Condi fell before. This time, he does not fall. 
Thatoneperson is an important figure, and is clearly more than just a hunter. They exhibit godlike power that hints at them potentially being Schlatt in disguise. This would be the chance used to muzzle Bizly, when the ordeal with Thatoneperson being killed leads to his being pushed off the fortress, a death that could be latched onto to muzzle him. This takes gradual effect, and he remains for the rest of the video, but is missing from Natural Disaster. 
In the End fight with the dragon, Charlie yet again exhibits god-power to summon every hunter to fight by their side. 
<< THE TIME LOOP BEGINS. >>
Charlie’s escapades all repeat in this timeline but under Schlatt’s watch, no longer as a way for Charlie to grow, but a way to torture the Council and weaken them. 
MINECRAFT, BUT EVERY 5 MINUTES THERE’S A NATURAL DISASTER: 
When Charlie eats the apple early in the video, it accomplishes what Schlatt began doing right before the time loop was created: it makes him mortal. He can now truly, fully be killed, if done in a way powerful enough to stop his respawn. 
Immediately after this Charlie is notably able to give Grizzly an apple as a help, not a hindrance, which could be tied to his emerging domain over food. Grizzly’s domain over nature also begins to emerge as he gives poppies that begin to work as protective symbols. 
Schlatt quickly gets them to build him a church, showing how he’s trapped them in a state they forget their own emerging god-power, and taunts them with the light to the command blocks later, showing the torturous pointlessness of the whole experience. 
Grizz becomes shackled by Schlatt at the final volcano, but Charlie is able to take control of the realm from Schlatt and Grizz is able to break out to an extent. Schlatt does still remain in power over the timeline as a whole though, and retreats to regroup.
THE HARDEST MINECRAFT DIFFICULTY: 
With picking the chests at the start of the video, the Council solidifies their domains of power as godlings. They had already began developing these, but this used some of the last chance magic Charlie had from Narwhal to allow them to concentrate their power into stronger, more specific areas. This whole video is an example of the Council going all out with their powers, and truly testing their limits. 
When the apple is given to Grizzly and he falls, he becomes shackled again. Though Schlatt is not in this world, he is pulling the strings as this happens in his timeline, and so the shackled Grizzly is still forced against his brothers. However, he strains against his restraints, and manages to make the fight fair enough that his brothers can beat him. 
The wolves were supposed to just be a joke. A joke between twins. Bizly’s wolfish, he wouldn’t really hurt them. If Condi hadn’t spawned them in the nether, it would have just been an illusion, a prank. It was just bad luck. “I may have been the boy who cried for the wolves, but I will not cry for you.” When shackled, and with Bizly muzzled, Grizz forgets that Bizly was the dearest wolf he cried for. 
In Grizzly’s last moments, Bizly, who had been fighting against his own plight for a while now, sees that Grizzly’s being controlled by his own and he can either be shackled in the mind as his body fights his family, or he can be shackled fully as a ghost that cannot act against them. In saving Grizzly, Bizly has to kill him to turn the shackles to a kind Grizzly can fight out of. He barely manages to reach through enough to help them get to the end, but his shackling means he cannot be in the world with them, and even that small effort to help them doesn’t have any real use.
WE SPENT 100 DAYS IN HARDCORE MINECRAFT: 
Charlie has forgotten everything. After Hardest Difficulty, the Council continued to try and live their lives, but in the wake of Grizzly’s absence Condi threw himself into research, locking himself in his labs for long stints of time, feeling something was off about Grizz’s “death.” He was eventually caged there, and Bizly faded further under his muzzling as Schlatt used this opportunity to take them all away from Charlie. 
Schlatt then created an environment filled with death: a zombie apocalypse. Natural disasters also, notably, play a large role. This would be the final trial where he wore Charlie down to the point he could kill him.
Each of the Council appears in a diluted way how they can through their plight, and Bizly, having fought his off the longest, is able to work through his in many ways. He appears first out of the Council as Florida Man, accompanied by wild animals that he can interact with as a wild spirit.
Tommy enters, a wild spirit (zombie) who has started to move toward a player form and demonling power very similarly to Bizly. Grizzly ended up trading power with Bizly because they were at similar power levels, but Schlatt is able to give without any side effects because of his immense power, and Tommy comes into power over the 100 days as a demonling under Schlatt.
Charlie finds Condi’s lab where he’s been caged, and reads hints in Condi’s diary that he remembers what was done to Grizzly and is trying to fix it by recreating the world. His caged mind does not recognize Charlie, but Charlie is able to help Condi partially break out of his cage, and he is able to go out into the world though much of the mental caging effects linger. 
“In the new world, Charlie, everyone will be happy. Because I’m going to be a god.” He knows.
Condi is not successful in hopping worlds- he hops times back to the beginning of Schlatt’s timeline. He can’t escape it completely, but can form a time loop so they can try again. It doesn’t seem like it’s worked at first, but it is in the moments between a death and respawn that he can transport them, and so he is able to go back when he “dies.”
The Blood Bachelor’s arena somewhat resembles the arena from the VR series, yet another ritual to whittle down Charlie’s mortality. 
Ranboo is another upcoming godling/wild spirit, this time pulled in by Charlie, talked about more in the section for Beating Minecraft w/ Ranboo. He may have some idea of the fact that the apocalypse was created by Schlatt, twisted to be expressed by his conspiracy. 
Wizzly is the still shackled Grizzly, fighting to regain control of his powers. He has some version of his own knowledge of the timeline as a whole, knowing that Charlie is the “protagonist,” the focus of Schlatt’s attention. 
On day 99, Schlatt comes with apples, his strongest weapon. This is when Charlie starts to remember, and fears him, but the reminder of Bizly and the others pulls him away just before he eats. Bizly, who Charlie can barely remember, but with the knowledge Schlatt forced on him he now realizes has been working to keep him safe even though he’s a faded version of himself. Charlie then goes back, hoping he can bring him back before he’s faded completely, and he’s able to call him and the others for the final battle.
In this fight Tommy is seen wielding god-power, as he has become a demonling over the 100 days.
Charlie uses Condi’s machine to world-hop, and here, in a realm of Condi’s power, Schlatt attempts to finally, fully, kill Charlie. But in the moment where Schlatt kills him and attempts to stop him from respawning, Condi’s power is able to take Charlie not to mortal death, but back to the beginning. They will try again until they are all saved. Until Bizly is unmuzzled, Grizzly unshackled, Condi uncaged, and Charlie survives. 
It is also worth noting that Bizly, Grizzly, and Ranboo were left behind, but at the mention of Charlie, Grizzly summons zombies, saying “let’s do it all again, run it back from the top”, and they are killed too, allowing them to be transported as well as Condi begins the timeloop.
<< THE TIME LOOP IS ENGAGED. >>
BEATING MINECRAFT AS A SLIME (drm.):  I FINALLY BEAT MINECRAFT FOR THE FIRST TIME… (FT. RANBOO) (drm.): 
Both of these videos serve roughly the same purpose, as hallucinations/dreams Charlie experiences between time loops. There are many variations of them, all being very rudimentary ways of him changing a world and seeing how he fares, similar to his original escapades when growing his god-power. He begins to encounter Ranboo, a wild spirit of the place between dimensions (hence the enderman/End and ghast/Nether influences) that manages to interact with these dreams as Charlie moves between dimensions/times, and is eventually pulled into the timeline through Charlie’s power. However, he also begins to move toward godhood as a result of being gifted some of Charlie’s power. 
These are the beginning of Charlie potentially being able to not only alter a realm, but create entire realms of his own.
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it just feels so tragic while she loved him as a loyal fan he was in love with her all this time and before that but she didn't even know... idk there's a loneliness to it all
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wishing the wonderful @flowercrowngods the happiest of birthdays 🥳🫶🤍 fair warning this quickly turned from 5k to 10 🙈 i hope it's not too boring 🤞 i tried my hardest to give you the angsty fic you asked for but i don't think it's my forte 🤷‍♀️ anyway happy birthday darling i hope you're having the best day 🤍
Steve's birthday started the same as all his birthdays had for as long as he could remember now; waking alone in his big old, empty house. Not that he could say he minded. His first ten birthdays had been pretty perfect, but his eleventh birthday changed everything. The only thing he'd asked for was a birthday sleepover with Tommy and his new school friends. It was all going amazing until late into the night, he and Tommy were laid awake, Tommy was telling him about how he was nervous to kiss Carol for the first time, when somehow, in a way Steve couldn't really remember, one of them had ended up suggesting that they practice together. 
They'd snuck off to the airing cupboard across the hall so their friends wouldn't see, what they hadn't considered was getting caught by Steve's parents. His mum hadn't said anything, just left quickly, leaving his dad to glare at him with that creepy polite smile he always had whenever Steve was going to get it as soon as they were alone. And he had, as soon as the house was empty, his dad yelled and yelled and yelled; about how kissing boys was unacceptable, how it was a sin, "Harrington's are family men, Steven!" A direct quote from the serial adulterer. 
It went on for two whole days, and then they never spoke of it again as though it'd never happened, but Steve wasn't allowed another sleepover nor was he allowed over to any of the other boys houses; which was how by his late teens he only had Tommy and Carol left as friends, they were the only ones who truly knew what went off in his house. And his birthday's hadn't been a big deal ever again, half the time his parents hadn't bothered to even be in the country; not that it made any difference to Steve, a birthday without their presence and constant judgement was already a happier day.
His alarm clock blaring pulled him from his musings back to the present. Not that he'd really needed the alarm, he rarely slept these days; it was more like a series of naps interspersed with part memories, part overactive imagination-induced night terrors. He poked an arm out of the covers, flicking the switch on the clock, yawning and stretching; feeling the pull on his freshly healed wounds. Clambering out of bed and scratching lazily at the stubble on his jawline as he headed into the en-suite; flicking on the stereo as he passed by just for something to fill the void.
Holding Back The Years was just beginning, as it often was these days. The one nighttime DJ who'd bothered to stick around seemed to think the song said "holding back the tears, because nothing here is gone." Idiot! The moron had some whole elaborate deluded idea that the song was some kind of metaphor to do with living with the aftermath of the quake or something, repeating the same nonsense every morning like if he kept saying it his theory would become true. 
Steve, however, had actually listened to the lyrics and recognised Mick (Hucknall) as a kindred spirit. He heard the pain of a child longing for parents that loved him, felt the pain for his younger self deep in his soul. He'd long since accepted that he'd never have that, that they'd had him solely for their image and let him go as soon as he didn't fit, but the song tended to just rip open the wound every time he heard it.
He turned on the shower, biting down hard on his lip to stop it quivering, testing the temperature with his hand and stepping under the spray. He knew they weren't worth being upset over, but it didn't take much to tip him over the edge these days, and he was very much hoping, as he had every morning, that this ritual he'd started would wash away the deep-seated sadness that he seemed to have stuck in his chest since the day they'd fought and lost. 
In a weird way his life was better now, sure he had flesh eating creatures and an alternate universe, but he also had people who loved him, people who appreciated him and depended on him. The scars of his shitty past didn't matter any more, not in the face of actual scars, not when the monster hunting them down was still out there, not when the people he loved needed someone to protect them.
He made quick work of washing his body, still gentle around his wounds. Eddie's exquisite sewing skills had more than done the trick at the time but all the strain he'd put on his body getting the five of them out of hell had ripped new holes into his skin and made a bigger mess than the bats ever had; it was only when he collapsed in the ER that any of them had even noticed he was bleeding again, the nurses had patched him back together, but his body was still tender. 
Just as he was shampooing his hair, the song changed again, only just about hearing Cyndi Lauper over the patter as he applied his conditioner. "If you're lost you can look, and you will find me, time after time", fresh tears quickly blurred his vision. Max. 
They'd been told off for the fifth time about having too many people visiting at once, Wendy threatened to never let any of them step foot in the building again, and they believed her too, just as the adults who still had jobs and needed to work had finally accepted that the kids could be there to be with the wounded in case they woke up. Nancy had sighed heavily but resigned herself to the job, not that it had taken her long to set up a visiting schedule; ten minutes of leaning over bits of paper with visiting times, days people could chauffeur, work and volunteer schedules, working out who could sit with who and when and she'd had it all figured out. 
They were just getting into the swing of things when El had snapped, hurling a plastic chair into the hospital wall, blood pouring from her nose, sucking in breaths like she'd just run a marathon before actually running from the room. Steve hadn't seen it happen, just heard the commotion through the wall and came running. No one had wanted to go after her; Mike, Dustin and Lucas all looking between each other like they were psychically discussing who'd drawn the short straw. 
Steve didn't bother to wait to find out what they'd decided, he'd just chased after her, finding her curled up in a ball in the corner of the corridor. He hadn't known what to say at first, "are you okay?" seemed like the dumbest question ever given the state of her. Plus he'd seen the two of them together when they'd had their day trip to the mall, he knew she was far from okay. He'd just knelt down beside her and wrapped her tightly in his arms when she'd mushed her face into his chest, stroking her back and rocking her slowly. 
Using his well versed technique of 'What Would Robin Do?' he asked what had happened. She just looked up at him with big sad eyes, a sob catching in her throat, her face crumpling as she'd broken down. Telling him that she couldn't find Max, that she'd been trying ever since she'd restarted Max's heart (with her mind!) but that she couldn't find her. She'd made him promise not to tell the others and as soon as he agreed, she'd promptly burst into uncontrollable sobs before he'd even had a chance to ask what that meant. All he could do was hope that Max wasn't either gone forever; or worse, stuck with One, enduring unimaginable torment.
The song had changed again as Steve switched off the water, stepping out of the shower and wrapping a towel securely around his waist. Switching on the tap to run a bowl of water and grabbing the shaving foam and his razor from the medicine cabinet; glancing as quickly and as efficiently as he could in the mirror, doing his best to avoid his own reflection. He knew he looked rough, he didn't need confirmation. The scars around his neck were gnarly, his eyes were bloodshot with thick black bags underneath, his hair limp and uncared for, obvious even fresh from the shower. Ugh!
He let Billy Ocean's soulful voice wash over him, focusing on making neat lines in the foam and trying his best not to nick himself. It wasn't a song he'd heard before, but he liked it, the tune was gentle, he found himself swaying slightly, waiting with the razor poised, "I always stop and think of you especially, when the words of a love song, touch the very heart of me". Huh!
He forced himself to focus on the task at hand, he was going to be late if he didn't get a move on and the less he thought about love songs making him cry, the better. The song ended, and the DJ signed off letting the commercials play. Steve headed into his bedroom, half-heartedly blow-drying his hair just enough to stop it dripping down his collar, throwing on his jeans and sweater. 
Flicking off the radio, he jogged down the stairs, clicking the red flashing button on the answering machine as he passed the telephone table on the way to the kitchen to throw some bread in the toaster. The last time he'd seen Joyce, she'd made him promise that he'd eat, so he was eating, dry toast wasn't his favourite thing in the whole world, but it was nourishment.
Beep. "Dingus!" Robin whispered into the phone, causing Steve to grin, "it's one minute past twelve, so I can officially say Happy Birthday! Okay, that's all I wanted. See you later, love you." Beep.
Beep. "Steve-o! Happy Birthday! See you later, man!" Beep. That kid, Steve thought shaking his head fondly to himself.
Beep. "Happy Birthday, Steve!" El mumbled, she barely spoke these days. He felt honoured. She was quickly interrupted by Hop, "Is that Steve?" he asked, "No, just the machine," she responded followed by sounds of the receiver being passed from one person to another, "Happy Birthday, kiddo, we'll see you later, okay?" Beep.
Steve couldn't fight the lump in his throat, he tried to swallow around it, but it wasn't going anywhere. They were just… he didn't have the words. It meant so much that they'd thought of him. That Robin had snuck out of bed, had probably sat up by the phone until the clock struck midnight to make sure he knew she was thinking of him. She really was the best friend he'd ever had.
And the kids! Dustin calling was probably what had woken him. He didn't know when he'd decided on Steve-o as a nickname, but he liked it regardless, it made him feel like one of the gang instead of just the babysitter. With El, Steve wasn't sure whether it was a teenage phase or not being able to find Max, but he'd barely heard a peep out of her since her breakdown, he just hoped it wasn't the latter, so they wouldn't lose both girls to this fight.
He pressed replay, warmth filling him as he listened to Robin's message again. He missed her terribly when they weren't together, and he'd seen less and less of her recently. She'd basically been on house arrest since the "quake" and given she wasn't ready to tell her parents what she'd told Steve whilst high on truth serum, Mr and Mrs Buckley basically thought he was about to become their son-in-law. 
Unfortunately, it meant he couldn't sneak over to her house to sleep any more like he had after the mall and the one time Robin had snuck out to sleep at his, her dad had been so worried he'd called the cops. Luckily, Hop had been the one to get the call, sighing heavily when he'd picked her up from the McMansion (as Steve's house had been dubbed by the kids) with a "Sorry kid, but her mom's practically hysterical. Come stay at the cabin, get a good night's rest."
For once, Steve had done as he was told. The Party was tighter than ever, but there were still the few with families who got caught on the edge's that kept the group from becoming a totally codependent pack. None of them slept well any more, not without being curled around one of the others. Robin and Dustin had it bad, unable to explain what was going on and trapped by parents who loved them too much to let them out of their sight, but Steve thought Erica had it the worst.
Lucas was out of his mind with worry over Max, her parents were holding her tighter than ever and her best friend had moved away. She couldn't use sleepovers as an excuse to escape her family's grasp like Robin and Dustin could, she was having terrible nightmares, lashing out and blaming everyone for the state of Max's health, Steve just wished she’d let it out properly before she exploded. He'd tried to get her to once, used one of Robin's new psychology tricks but got nothing out of her but some sassy comment and a glare.
His toast popping out of the toaster dragged him out of his musings, tucking the dry, warm bread into a napkin, he grabbed his keys off the hook and headed out to the car. The sun was barely in the sky, but it was already unbearably warm, he was glad to be spending the day indoors. He liked being out early, the world seemed almost peaceful before the rest of the town had a chance to get out of bed. Normally he'd drive without the radio on, just with the window rolled down, letting the breeze finish drying his hair, enjoying the sounds of the world waking up, the birds singing, the wind rustling the trees, the roar of the beemers engine, but that damn song had turned into an earworm, just that little bit of melody and "saying I love you, I love you" whizzing around and around his head.
He sighed and flicked the radio on, the funky beat of Kiss making his head bounce, only being able to resist for a second before he was smacking the steering wheel in time with the beat. Steve couldn't think about much else with Prince singing in his ears, the sun beating down on his arm that dangled out of the open window, warming him as he bopped along. "I want to be your fantasy, maybe you could be mine. You just leave it all up to me, we could have a good time!" Steve hollered along, catching the attention of old Mr Baker, who was bent down collecting his paper as he sped by. He smirked at the old man's face as he caught him grumbling in the rearview mirror, making Steve chuckle.
The song was just ending as he pulled into the parking lot, it was always blissfully empty this early, just the cars of the staff and the overnight visitors. He threw the car into park as Let's Hear It For The Boy started, he contemplated sitting in the car just to listen, but he knew the song well enough, and he was edging ever closer to being late. Steve found he almost had a spring in his step as he switched off the engine and clambered out of the car, being careful as he crossed the road, the peppy tune well and truly stuck in his head. 
He waved to Edna at the front desk as he headed for the stairs (no way was he getting in a lift ever again, not after the last time) hearing Deniece Williams clearly in his mind as he turned the corner and all but hopped up the staircase, muttering "Maybe he's no Romeo, but he's my love and one man show, oh oh oh oh, let's hear it for the boy!" pausing on the step to wiggle along to the music in his head. One of the nurse's smirked at him as she skipped down the stairs, passing him with a giggle. Not that he minded he'd been reliably informed he was a good dancer, it did make him wonder if maybe he was finally losing it though, taking the rest of the steps two at a time, shaking his head trying to clear it. This is a hospital, for god's sake! What’s wrong with you?
Drifting quickly down the corridor, Steve gave a quick nod to Nurse Wendy, she was one of Owens’ and seemed to find the hospital environment rather alien, she didn't appreciate anything other than cordiality and silence while she worked. Sliding open the door, Steve found Wayne sitting as he always was in an uncomfortable plastic chair by Eddie's bedside; chatting aimlessly to his nephew and yawning every few words. 
He, Dustin and Steve had become close over the past few weeks, each taking turns to keep Eddie company. Wayne hadn’t wanted Steve anywhere near his nephew at first, not that Steve had been surprised by his reaction, hurt maybe but unsurprised. Wayne had relented when Dustin had regaled him with Steve’s “heroism” but Robin had been the one to convince Wayne that Steve was their friend, that he wasn't the dickhead jock who'd stood by and done nothing as Tommy had made Eddie's life hell; and that he was certainly nothing like the elder Harrington. Wayne had relented quickly, had warmed to Steve faster than he'd ever dared to hope, now he thought Wayne might even like him, just a little bit, even if it was because as Wayne put it, "well, at least you've got better taste in sports than you had in friends".
"G'Mornin'" Steve greeted, once Wayne finished with his tale. His stories were amazing, at first he’d started with just random tales but eventually when they realised it was going to take longer than any of them hoped for Eddie to wake, he’d started as far back as he could remember and was just slowly retelling his whole life story. Steve thought he should write a book, his life was fascinating and the more he listened, the more it was obvious where Eddie had got his storytelling abilities.
"Mornin'" Wayne returned, stretching his back before standing with a creak and a groan.
"No change?" Steve asked, looking over to Eddie's pale, sleeping form.
"No change," Wayne confirmed with a sigh.
Steve hummed, just watching Eddie for a second, hoping for a twitch, a flicker, anything really. Just any sign of life that he'd been praying for since cracked ribs and a ten minute repeat of “one and two and three” and screams to “drive faster!” Eddie didn't move, not more than the slow rise and fall of his gentle breathing that hadn't changed since he got out of surgery; Wayne did though, patting Steve on the shoulder as he passed by him with a quiet "G'night, son," successfully snapping Steve back into the moment. 
He turned quickly to catch Wayne on his way out, a fragile smile on his face and a lump forming in his throat, "Night, Wayne. Drive safe," Steve pleaded quietly. Wayne was as much one of them as Eddie was now, and the last thing any of them needed was more heartache. Wayne nodded with a slight smile, closing the door with a quiet snick, the noise kicking Steve into action; he rounded the bed picking up the tattered copy of The Hobbit off the bedside table and landing heavily in the still warm chair and flipping the book open in his lap.
Wayne might be a natural storyteller but not Steve, his childhood stories were either sad or stupid, but none of that mattered because here in this little cold side room all Steve could think was a repeat of please wake up. 
He was taking his first shift of watching over Eddie when he'd first spotted the book sticking out the top of the bag Wayne had brought for Eddie when he’d heard he was in the hospital. Honestly, Steve thought it looked like more of a go bag; Max’s bag was full of pyjamas and a dressing gown and slippers, a soft toy or two and some of her comics. Eddie’s bag was full of clothes, at least four pairs of jeans, a couple hoodies, a winter coat, underwear and cassettes. And the book, of course.
Steve wasn't much of a reader, he’d always hated assignments at school where reading an actual book was necessary, but he couldn't stand the silence, and he couldn't think of anything to say and Owens had said the best thing they could do was keep talking to him so he'd started to read. He was rubbish at it, stumbling every few words and making humming sounds every time he came across a word he didn't know or couldn't pronounce, but it filled the silence and given how dog-eared the pages were it was obviously a favourite of Eddie's, so he could only hope it was bringing him some comfort, wherever he was.
"Good morning, Edwin. How're you feeling, hmm? Comfy? It's a lovely day today, blue skies and green leaves, it's gonna be a warm one. It's my birthday, you know? Robin left a nice message, and the kids too. I wonder if I'll get a cake? I've never had a birthday with real friends before! I don't really know what to expect, but you've had your little club for a long time, you'd know, maybe you could wake up and tell me, hm? That'd be nice. No pressure though. How about we read some more? I quite like this book. I've never really had a favourite book, not since I grew out of the Mr Men ones anyway, but this one's good. Let's see where were we?"
Steve got as comfortable as he could on the crappy hospital furniture, flipped to the page he'd marked with a cafeteria napkin and began to read, letting the words flow over him and paint a picture of a group of disparates on an adventure together. He thought they were sort've like The Party, none of them really fit together either, not on paper anyway, but somehow it just worked; they, too, each had their own strengths vital for their collective survival. 
It saddened him in a way to think that if none of the Upside Down stuff had happened, that he wouldn't have any of this. As fucked up as this was right now, with Eddie and Max still unconscious; to not be called Dingus, or son, or Steve-o, that’s just not a life he’d want. Nor would he want a life without a platonic soulmate or a whole gaggle of little siblings. Without two mums and two dads, none of whom were biological, but parents in all the ways his never were. Without three older siblings in Argyle and Jon and Nancy because it wasn't half as weird as they all expected it to be; because none of them were those people any more. Those stupid teenagers were long dead, the shit they’d been through together far stronger than any hormonal teenage dickheadery.
He especially wouldn't want to be without an idiot who doesn't listen when Steve says don't be a hero because he also loves Dustin; because down to a choice of himself or their little brother he would always put himself in the firing line and as much as Steve had raged that Eddie was a dumbass, as soon as Robin had twisted it around, Steve hadn't been able to honestly say that he wouldn't have done exactly the same thing.
That didn't mean he didn't wish he could trade places with Eddie, didn't mean he didn't wish they'd had more time to get to know each other, didn't mean he didn't spend every spare second thinking about that walk to the Wheeler's, didn't mean he couldn't stop wishing Eddie would wake up, didn't mean he didn't hope for something more he could do to drag Eddie back into consciousness, just to hear his voice one more time, didn't mean he didn't wish he'd stayed with the boys, didn't mean he didn't yearn to know what Eddie had meant to say in that pause before he'd said "Make him pay!"
Steve realised he'd stopped reading, flicked over the page and picked up where Bilbo was imagining summer in his home, the same type of summer that was streaming through the hospital window, bathing Eddie’s sickly form in warm light. Steve hoped that wherever Eddie was, that he was somewhere happy, maybe he was berry picking with his uncle or playing with his band, maybe he was rough housing with Dustin while Steve and Robin watched on. 
He hadn't dared to ask El if she could find him, he couldn't bear to think they were both stuck somewhere unreachable, he wasn't sure his heart couldn't take it. 
He swiped roughly at his damp cheeks, swallowing hard, wiping the pages dry and smiling waterily at the group finding shelter and finally relaxing, creating smoke rings and thinking of Eddie doing the same thing at the last party they'd both been at. All the girls had gone wild and Steve chuckled to himself, knowing now that this book full of mythical creatures was where Eddie had probably got the inspiration, knowing how many hours Eddie must've taken to perfect his technique, knowing the girls who'd oohed and ahhed, knowing that most of them had never read a book in their lives, it was just funny. 
That was until it all went to shit for the allies; Steve read faster and faster, hoping that they'd make it safely out of the tunnels, thinking of the tunnels he'd fought in with the kids, remembering that moment he'd thought he and Dustin were toast, still able to feel the Demodogs racing by them. Then Bilbo was falling, and suddenly he was as unconscious as the boy in front of him. 
Steve sighed and shifted, leaning the book against Eddie's too still leg, he never thought he'd miss someone's nervous energy but even when Eddie had been still and quiet his leg would still always bounce, or his fingers would drum, it used to drive him crazy back in school, he used to wish the other boy would just sit still, mainly because he was struggling to concentrate, and the constant movement was a distraction, but now he longed for some form of movement, anything to add to the consistent rise and fall. 
Steve would usually keep the book up in front of his face so that lack of anything wasn't quite so obvious, but his back was aching and begging to be stretched, so Steve leaned his elbows on the bed either side of the book, propping his head up in his hands, trying to read the words faster in some bizarre hope that if Bilbo survived the pitch black alone that Eddie might too. The Gollum creature just was creepy, with the hissing and the glowing eyes and calling himself precious, it didn’t endear itself to Steve when Bilbo started a back and forth of riddles with it, the narrator commenting that because the reader was comfortable that the answers were somehow obvious.
“Not obvious to everyone,” Steve muttered mainly to himself, “I bet you knew these the first time you read them though, didn’t you Eds?" he asked just for something to say while he found his place again.
"No," muttered so softly and raspily it was almost inaudible, Steve's head snapping up to look at Eddie's face.
"Eddie? Did you speak, or have I finally lost it?" Steve asked disbelievingly. Eddie didn't speak again, but the corners of his mouth twitched upwards, puffing out a breath that could've been a laugh, immediately sucking one in through his teeth, hissing in pain.
"Wendy!" Steve screamed, jumping up and slamming the red button on the wall, only realising as he did that he'd wrenched his fingers from Eddie's grasp. Leaning his elbow by the side of Eddie's pillow, Steve peered down at him, placing his hand back into Eddie's, "Can you hear me, Eds?" he asked gently. Eddie made a rumbling sound followed by a quivering lip and a whine. "No, no. Don't try to talk, man. Can you squeeze my hand?" Steve asked, running his fingers carefully through Eddie's now sweaty hair, brushing it away from his face and neck. Eddie squeezed his fingers hard, choking a laugh out of Steve as his throat tightened, only realising he was crying when a tear splashed down onto Eddie's cheek, an intense feeling of relief and joy sweeping over him.
Steve had just enough time to wipe the moisture from Eddie's cheek before all hell let loose, nurses and doctors bustling in, Wendy gently removing Steve from Eddie's bedside but not from the room. His mind was racing, unable to really grasp onto anything, just watching detachedly as the professionals adjusted wires and tubes pressing buttons on machines, taking liquids from bottles with syringes and all Steve could think was that he was glad Wayne wasn't there to witness the chaos.
And all of a sudden, it hit Steve like a freight train. Wayne. He needed to know, but Steve was terrified that if he left the room that he'd wake up back in his bed, that Eddie wouldn’t have woken and that they’d be back stuck in the limbo that he might never wake. Steve glanced at the clock, knowing by the time that Dustin and Lucas should be next door watching over Max; it was unusual that they hadn’t come to check on Eddie, but if there had been traffic they just might not have had time.
"Dustin!" Steve yelled through the wall, one of the nurse's turning to snarl at him with a tut, obviously for being loud, but Steve couldn't have given less of a fuck, he just pulled a face at her behind her back when she turned back to Eddie. 
Dustin slammed into the room in less than a few seconds, clocking the chaos around Eddie and looking to Steve with wide, frightened eyes.
"He's awake, call Wayne," Steve instructed, Dustin didn't argue, didn’t fight the grin splitting his face either, "The plant or yours?" is all he asked. Steve was so grateful for this kid, glad in that moment that his little brother was a fucking genius. "Mine," Steve didn't even have time to finish the word before Dustin was gone from the door frame.
There was a bit more hustling around the bed before slowly but surely the nurses and doctors started to file back out, leaving Owens and a once again unconscious Eddie.
"What did you do?" Steve raged, his voice so low and hard it was hardly recognisable even to his own ears. Owens at least had the good sense to approach slowly, hands up and placating, except Steve couldn't hear him over the blood rushing in his ears, panic and fury blurring his senses.
"...ve, Steve, Steven!"
His eyes snap from Eddie's form where he'd been desperately watching Eddie's chest rise and fall, to Owens, who swallowed visibly and took a step backwards.
"We didn't do anything, Steve. I know he's been asleep for a long time, but it's going to take a while for him to get used to being awake again. He's just resting right now; healing like he's supposed to. Now he's regained consciousness, his chances are much better. We're not out the woods yet, but we're a step closer, okay? I'll check in again later, alright?" Owens said calmly as he backed out of the room, leaving Steve alone to nod to himself.
Steve didn’t know how long he stood there nodding to himself, the next thing he acknowledged was Dustin crashing back into the room, all but ready to throw himself at Eddie. Steve quickly stepped between them, blocking Dustin’s path. He parroted everything Owens told him and only allowed himself a breath when Dustin grinned toothily. And Steve, even though he couldn't quite believe what just happened, couldn't help but grin back.
"What a birthday present, huh?" Dustin teased, as he headed out the door back to Max's room.
Steve's hands landed automatically on his hips, yelling after him to shut up, even though he could hear Dustin cackling and feel his own cheeks burning, fucking smartass. 
He sighed, mentally arguing with the kid, desperately trying to come up with a response for next time, when Wayne came dashing in; Steve suddenly felt guilty for disturbing him, but he had promised he'd call if Eddie even so much as twitched. He repeated to Wayne what had happened in as much detail as he could remember, Wayne's smile growing and growing until it looked like his face might split in two, he grabbed Steve around the head and kissed him firmly on the forehead with a relieved “Thank you.” Steve’s brain shorted out when Wayne pulled him into a hug, all he could do was blink owlishly at the wall until his brain kicked in, and he wrapped his arms around Wayne purely on instinct, Wayne squeezing him tight before letting him go. 
He insisted on staying, much to Steve's dismay given the poor man had already been up all night and that he couldn't have had more than a few hours sleep, but he just waved Steve off, merely reiterating that he can sleep anywhere, that he'd been in the army, snd that he didn't need a cushty bed. 
Wayne had only caved about staying at the McMansion after the third or fourth day in that godawful chair, and then he had bemoaned that beds that comfortable should be illegal, that he'd been spoiled for life; Steve had just mentally renamed the spare room "Wayne's room", he knew Owens was sorting them some new accommodation, but he was kind of hoping he and Eddie would choose to stay. 
The house had never felt emptier since his parents phone call, they hadn't even tried to get a hold of him really, they'd just left a message saying that they'd heard about the quake, requesting he give them a call to let them know if there'd been any damage to the property, so they could claim on the insurance. Steve had nearly thrown the answering machine at the wall. Robin had just sighed, told him she didn't know why he continued to let them disappoint him when he had all the family he'd ever need. He knew she was right, that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. He hadn't bothered to call them back, and he hadn't heard from them since.
Wayne went down to the phones to call in sick then folded himself into the bedside chair, the one that was technically meant for patients, not that any of them had dared to use it for fear that they’d get too comfortable and nod off and miss out on any changes, but Wayne trusted Steve to wake him, he just wanted to be here to see his nephew. Steve couldn't blame him.
He gently placed his plastic chair back next to the bed, he hadn't realised he'd flung it across the room when he'd jumped up earlier. Both Munson's were sleeping peacefully and although a little piece of Steve's soul had settled, he still felt jittery in the almost silence. He grabbed the book back from the night stand, unsure as to how it'd ended up there, flicking through the pages trying to see where he'd last got to.
He propped the book back against Eddie's thigh, tucking his feet under his chair and resting his elbows on the edge of the bed. Originally, he started off reading to himself, not wanting to disturb either of them. He found he could actually read quite quickly to himself, and got through a whole chunk of the story just muttering commentary on the story to himself. But eventually, his eyes started to get tired, and he just started mumbling along with the story, trying desperately to stay awake. 
"How the fuck are you supposed to say that? Eye-ry, ear-ry, err-ry, I don't fucking know, I'm not entirely sure what that's even supposed to be," Steve muttered with a sigh.
"It's their nest," Eddie whispered, rasping and hoarse, tightening his grip on Steve's fingers, where he'd once again been absentmindedly stroking up and down Eddie's hand while he read.
Steve sat up straighter, so he could reach the glass of water with a straw that'd been left on the table, pressing the straw gently against Eddie's lips, "Hey, you," he said softly, "only sips, Eds, or you'll make yourself sick," he murmured putting the glass back on the side when Eddie let go of the straw.
"Thanks, man," Eddie murmured and sighed, sinking back into the pillow. Steve turned to give Wayne a nudge when Eddie squeezed his hand hard, "Don't," he pleaded. Steve hesitated but found he couldn't deny Eddie anything and was rewarded with a soft smile when Steve turned back to him, "He okay?" he asked.
Nodding, Steve ran his thumb over the back of Eddie's hand, "Yeah, we're taking good care of him," he promised.
Eddie hummed, tried to smile again, but it was obvious how much effort it was taking, "'nd Dust'n?" he mumbled, eyes drifting closed.
Steve couldn't help smiling to himself, "Next door, watching over Max."
Eddie's eyes sprung open, "Not Red?" he whined, big brown eyes sadder than Steve had ever seen them.
"'fraid so. She'll be okay though, she's a fighter like you!" Steve muttered, determination lacing his tone because he believed you had to believe something wholeheartedly if you wanted it to go your way.
Eddie let out a little sceptical huff, eyes already closed and breaths evening out. Steve was just about to go back to reading quietly when Eddie made a little incoherent noise. "Hm? You need something, Eds?" Steve asked quietly, standing to lean over him, brushing his hair away from his face where it'd got stuck to his cheek when he'd turned to look at Wayne.
"'m sorry," Eddie murmured, trying to open his eyes, Steve just huffed out a humourless laugh, sitting back down. 
"Nah, man, got nothing to be sorry for," he muttered, swallowing around the lump in his throat, "Go back to sleep," he whispered, stroking the back of Eddie's hand rhythmically. Eddie listened this time, whether through choice or sheer exhaustion, Steve didn't know, he was just glad Eddie was resting.
Steve took a deep breath, scrubbing his spare hand over his face, he didn't know what was wrong with him today. Eddie was fine, he was on the mend, there was no reason to be upset, yet he couldn't stop the tears rolling down his cheeks. He wasn't sad exactly, it all just felt like too much, all the previous weeks of worry, the lack of sleep, the constant stress of it all going to hell again before they even had chance to recover. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt a hand on his shoulder, Dustin tended to pop in at lunchtime to give Steve a chance to get some lunch and stretch his legs. But being met with those big concerned eyes just tipped the scales in the wrong direction, he grabbed Dustin round the middle and pulled him into his arms. 
"What's wrong?" Dustin whispered, rubbing Steve's back soothingly, which just made him feel all the more guilty because he was supposed to be the strong one for the kids, not the other way around.
"Nothing," Steve murmured, sucking in a deep breath and coughing around the lump in his throat, pushing the feelings as far down as he could, letting Dustin go with a pat on his shoulder, "Nothing, I'm fine, everything's fine," he lied.
Dustin obviously saw through it but didn't push him, just demanded a Coke from the cafeteria as Steve got up and headed for the door, making him laugh. Steve loved him so much, especially when he was a little shit.
Heading straight to the bathroom, Steve splashed cold water on his face, leaning on the sink and looking at himself in the mirror. It'd been years since he looked this rough, his hair floppy and dry as hell, black and bloodshot eyes from the lack of sleep, even his skin wasn't quite the colour it was supposed to be but eating dry toast in your car and crappy hospital sandwiches will do that, he supposed.
He sighed heavily, pushing off the sink, he headed to the cafeteria, grabbing lunch for the four of them and Dustin's Coke, picking up a Diet one too just to annoy him with, in the hopes his moaning and whinging would buoy him for the rest of the day. 
Steve bobbed in to eat lunch with Lucas and spend some time with him and Max like he always did, before heading back to relieve Dustin. Lucas barely wanted to talk these days, just wanted to continue to read to Max in the hopes that she could hear them.
Knowing what El had told him just made him feel guilty, but he’d promised he wouldn't say anything and given there wasn't anything else he could do for her, in the very least it was making Lucas feel useful. If anything Steve thought he sounded a little more annoyed than usual today, but he didn't dare to ask, he just put it down to the fact that Eddie had come back while Max was still lost.
Wayne was awake and chatting with Dustin and Eddie when Steve got back. They all looked tired, but they were smiling, even if they did have tear tracks down their faces. Steve didn't say anything, just squeezed Eddie's foot as he passed by him handing Wayne and Dustin their lunch, who as suspected kicked off about his drink giving them all something to giggle about until he pulled out the red can, the petulant look on Dustin’s face making the three adults in the room laugh harder.
Eddie soon fell back asleep, then after they’d eaten Dustin went back to Max and Wayne decided he was going to find some decent coffee, which was code for he was going for a smoke. Steve sighed as everything settled down again, back to the normal they'd settled into over the past few weeks, except he felt free now to get comfortable in his chair resting his head on his folded arms on the side of the bed. He told himself he wasn't sleeping, just resting his eyes, but Robin made him jump when she came bounding into the room.
"Happy Birthday, Dingus!" she yelled, waking both him and Eddie with a start.
"Jesus, Bobs, shh," Steve chastised, trying to soothe Eddie back to sleep by rubbing his thumb across his knuckles where their hands had yet again ended up connected.
"Sorry," she muttered, not sounding sorry in the slightest. It'd been her way of trying to wake Eddie and Max, blasting into their rooms all loud and full of energy, like a kids entertainer at a birthday party.
"Mornin' Edwin, done sleeping?" she teased, waggling his toes, Steve knew she wanted to hug him, but Eddie's legs were the only place he hadn't been bitten, and she didn't want to hurt him like she had Steve when they'd finally got Eddie to the hospital, and she'd all but thrown herself at him; he'd hissed involuntarily, and she'd cried for an hour even though the pain had gone before she'd even had chance to let go.
"Stop tiring him out, he's supposed to be resting," Steve grouched, reluctantly letting go of Eddie, standing up to grab another plastic chair for her to sit beside him at Eddie's bedside.
She tutted and rolled her eyes dramatically before all but flopping into the hard chair, making Steve wince on her behalf. Now he'd sat back in his chair he didn't know what to do with his arms, it felt weird to reach across and take Eddie's hand, folding them over his chest felt too confrontational, letting them flop by his sides felt weird, finally settling on placing them in his lap. 
Robin was just watching him amusedly, "So, having a good birthday?" she asked with a smirk. All he could do was narrow his eyes at her, Wayne was back and watching them knowingly, trying not to smile. 
Steve looked between the two of them before shrugging as nonchalantly as he could manage, "Better than last year," he answered not half as blasé as he would've liked, it wasn't exactly a lie given anything would've been better than last year when everyone had forgotten.
Robin just hummed thoughtfully, leaving them in uncomfortable silence. She'd been a nightmare since she’d started reading psychology books; she was worried about their collective mental health and wanted to have constructive ways to help, but it seemed to Steve that she was just using everything she was learning to torture him.
"How's your mom and dad?" Steve asked, trying to deflect onto a new topic.
"They're good," she replied, letting the silence linger, glancing at Wayne with a playful smile.
The silence was deafening, it made him want to babble endlessly and at the same time say nothing at all, just out of sheer stubbornness.
Luckily, he was saved from their torture by Mike, El and Will, the three of them came in every day to check on Eddie before going to see Max; which Steve thought was sweet given Mike was the only one who actually knew Eddie. He just knew Eddie was going to adore Will, they were like peas in a pod, and he couldn't wait for them to meet properly.
"Dustin said he woke up," Mike said as though that was his excuse for being there, not that it was something as wild as him caring whether Eddie lived or not.
"'m here, y'know," Eddie grumbled, making Mike's whole face light up.
"Eddie!" Mike cheered, heading towards him for a hug.
"Careful!" Steve yelled automatically, Mike pausing mid-step to glare at him.
"I know!" he snapped, carefully placing his hands either side of Eddie's shoulders and leaning gently into him.
"How're you, man?" Mike enquired, purposefully ignoring everyone else in the room, while Steve purposefully ignored Wayne and Robin's knowing gaze.
"Not dead!" Eddie teased, finally prying his eyes open, looking behind Mike at Will and El who waved warmly. "Hi," Eddie croaked, Mike grabbed the drink off the bedside and placed the straw against Eddie's lips.
"This is El and Will, y’know? The ones I told you about," Mike reminded him, focusing on the water leaving the glass.
Eddie just hummed, releasing the straw, doing his best to smile at the newcomers, his eyelids drooping.
Steve had already had enough, Eddie was supposed to be sleeping so he could heal, "Alright, you three, he needs his rest. Visiting's over. Out! Go harass Dustin!" Steve demanded, standing to physically shoo them out the door while Robin and Wayne giggled.
"Don't make me throw you out, too, Buckley!" he threatened, pointing at her with a hand on his hip as the door slid shut behind the kids.
She lifted her hands placatingly, with a delighted smirk, "Here, sit. I've brought your gift," she announced, gesturing to his chair.
Steve couldn't help the endeared smile splitting his face; he hadn't had a birthday present in a long time, his parents just added money to his account, he had no other family, and he hadn't got one from a friend since Tommy.
Robin reached into her bag and pulled out a rectangular box wrapped in blue paper, "It's not much, and I know nothing could top waking from a coma," she muttered rolling her eyes playfully in Eddie's direction, "but I hope you like it," she added with a soft smile.
Steve felt his lip quiver again, biting on it hard enough he tasted iron. He didn't care what was in the box, well he cared, he just didn't mind if the box was the present, he already had the best friend in the whole world, what else could he want. He smiled gratefully at her, hoping she could see without him needing to say it, before tearing off the blue wrapping and lifting the lid.
As soon as he saw what was in the box, tears started to fill his eyes, blurring his vision, no amount of self-control would be able to stop the wave of gratitude for the girl in front of him.
"Sorry it's a bit homemade," she mumbled as he continued to stare at his gift. All Steve could do was shake his head, a smile on his face even as tears poured down his face, tugging her into an awkward hug over the box.
"It's the best," he whispered, releasing her to stare down in awe at his present again. It was a picture frame, but inside was all bits of their friendship; a few Polaroids of the two of them, a napkin from Scoops, their name badges sitting side by side in the middle, tickets from the Star Wars movie they went to see together, quotes from songs they loved written on Family Video receipts, the dried flowers of the daisy chain he'd made her while they were hanging out in her garden, the matching friendship bracelets they'd bought from that street artist when they'd gone to Indy last year and immediately lost, newspaper clippings of a game they'd both played at, a little picture of Kermit the frog. 'The Band Geek And The Jock' written across the top of the frame in bubble writing, and 'Platonic With A Capital P' written across the bottom.
He felt the sob hiccup out of his chest, too overwhelmed to do anything to stop it. Knowing it was the most thoughtful gift he'd ever received, he wondered how he was even supposed to begin to thank her.
Looking up at his little miracle, he saw her watching him with sad concerned eyes, "You can just say if you think it's awful," she joked, making a tearful laugh burst out of him.
Shaking his head, he swallowed hard, "It's wonderful. You're wonderful. How'd I get so lucky, huh?" he asked rhetorically pulling her into another hug, "Thank you," he murmured, hugging her tighter, wanting to snuggle into her neck but not wanting to get snot on her top or in her hair, he let her go.
Eddie whined, demanding their attention. He was awake, watching him and Robin with the softest fond expression, opening and closing his hand like Holly used to when she wanted something. Steve automatically placed his hand in Eddie's causing a choked little sound to come out of the three of them, only for him to realise that Eddie probably wanted to see the frame, his cheeks flushed crimson and just as he was about to let go, both Robin and Wayne put a supportive hand on either of his shoulders, starting up a conversation between themselves about the latest conspiracy theory to be printed in the local paper.
Steve stayed perfectly still, afraid of breaking the moment. He'd never felt safer, more loved or supported as he did right then, than he had in his entire life, and it was almost bizarre how these three random people he'd barely known a year ago could give that to him so easily. Eddie squeezed his hand gently, blinking owlishly with a soft smile. Steve gently lifted his present onto Eddie's stomach, so he could see it, he tried to lift his other hand up to touch the frame, but it was proving too much, drifting off again with his dimples on display and a gentle hum.
Taking the gift back and placing it carefully back into the box to keep it safe, placing it on the bedside with The Hobbit knowing he wouldn't miss it there when he headed home later. Robin was still deep in conversation with Wayne, telling him about her grandma's worries about their safety after the "quake", Steve already knew that she wanted them to move away, Robin had called him in a panic when she'd heard her parents discussing whether they should.
He caught Robin's eye and gestured to the door, slipping out when she smiled and nodded in acknowledgement. Slipping the door shut behind him, Steve hurried towards the bathroom, he just needed a minute, but a familiar curly head of hair was already pushing open the door. Turning on his heel, his sneakers squeaking on the linoleum floor, he headed toward the exit only to bump into Wendy giving Sam an update on Max. The breath was coming shorter and shorter in his chest as he blindly opened the nearest door stepping inside and slamming it shut behind him; sliding down the painted wood to the cold floor, knocking his knee on a bucket because by some streak of luck, Steve found himself in the janitor's closet.
It was all just too much and the thing was none of it was bad, everything was so, so good, the nicest present he'd ever had, Eddie waking up after what felt like forever, the love and support of the people he now classed as family. He had no idea why it felt like there was an elephant sitting on his chest or like he'd had a rock semi-permanently lodged in his throat since he'd woken up. It just hadn't really felt real until now, the few nice dreams he had had been of Eddie waking up or him never getting hurt in the first place, of waking curled around each other, of Eddie smiling at him the way he had in the RV, the way he had on their walk to the Wheeler's house, the way he used to in the cafeteria. 
And he hadn't really needed to deal with the feelings those dreams had brought up until he'd put his hand in Eddie's, and they'd all made that okay. With Eddie, it'd be possible to blame the drugs he's being pumped with to keep him comfortable, but Steve knew that Wayne knew his nephew, knew that he knew what others had only suspected for as long as he could remember. And he knew Robin knew him, as well, if not better than he knew himself sometimes. Hell, even Nancy had suspected when he'd offered to be by Eddie's bedside whenever he was needed; she'd just looked at him the same way she looked at any puzzle and then had pencilled him into every gap without question and with an accepting smile. 
Hugging his knees to his chest, he focused on righting his breathing, taking slow purposeful breaths, wiping his face and focusing on the objects around him until he felt he could breathe again. He'd spent so long pretending, so long trying to be someone he wasn't, trying to be the perfect Harrington that dealing with feelings when they arose and the shame he felt in feeling them in front of others was hard but when his breathing settled, it was like he could breathe easier than he had in a long time, despite the chemical stench inside the cupboard. 
Climbing slowly to his feet he crept out of the small space and headed to the bathroom to wash his face, splashing cold water onto his cheeks felt nice, and somehow his reflection felt easier to deal with than it had this morning, sure he still had scars and dark circles, his hair was still horrendous, and his cheeks were puffy but for once looking at himself in the eye felt less like a lie.
Once he was calm and dry, Steve wanted to check in with Sam, the guy had been a group favourite since he'd come charging into the hospital demanding to see his daughter and he seemed to like all of them too, appreciated that his little girl hadn't been left alone for a single second. He'd been wary of Steve at first, he thought it was weird that an older male was hanging around a bunch of kids, sitting with his baby, but the other parents seemed to have got through to him in a way the kids hadn't been able to that Steve was their babysitter, that they trusted him with their kids lives. 
Hop and Joyce had been the ones to really affix in Sam's mind that Steve wasn't a threat, and the two of them advocating for him after all they'd been through over the years, felt amazing, he finally felt like one of the group once Joyce had wrapped her arms around him, thanking him for all he'd done; for keeping them safe, for walking into battle when he didn't have to. Hop had just put a hand on his shoulder and asked "Y'okay kiddo?" letting Steve fall into his chest with the relief that he wasn't dead, that finally the grown-ups were there, because as much as he had spent his youth wanting to be older, wanting to be away from his parents, so he could do whatever he wanted, it felt like a relief that a real adult would be in charge from now on.
He knocked and entered when Sam shouted for him to come in, smiling a small smile at Steve and carrying on with the book he was reading aloud as Steve sat on the plastic chair next to him. "How's she doing?" he asked when Sam finished the chapter and closed the book; Wendy always gave more info to the grown-ups than she ever did to the kids.
"The same," Sam sighed, stretching out the muscles in his back from being hunched over the book, "Happy Birthday," he added with a genuine smile, "Dustin wouldn't shut up about it. Lucas looked 'bout ready to kick his ass!" he told Steve with a laugh.
"Thanks," Steve murmured, he hadn't come in to talk about him, but maybe Sam just needed to think about anything else for five minutes. 
He told Sam about the gift Robin had given him, Sam smiled wistfully, "Susan used to make me things like that," he muttered fondly. 
For once, he didn't have it in him to correct Sam's assumption, just asked "Oh, yeah?" Let Sam tell him stories of his and Susan's courtship, of their happier years together, if nothing else Steve hoped Max could hear them, thought it might please her to know that her parents were happy once, that they had loved each other and her.
It was a while before Robin poked her head around the door with a "err, Steve?" her smile a little uncertain even as she waved at Sam, who jostled Steve playfully and waved them off with a small smile picking up his book and continuing to read to Max.
"What was that about?" Robin asked bemusedly.
"Eh, nothing. What's up?" Steve asked tiredly, it'd been a long day and as much as he hated to leave, he was about ready to curl up in bed.
"Nothing, Eds was just asking for you," she murmured, turning into Eddie's room, letting Steve follow lazily to find…
"SURPRISE!" everyone cheered, and by everyone Steve meant everyone, he was honestly surprised that they all fit into one room. Wendy was going to lose her shit.
"C'mon Dingus," Robin sighed, dragging him further into the room, "This is your party, no use standing in the doorway!" she chastised playfully leaving him at the foot of Eddie's bed where he was looking a hell of a lot more awake and had a sheet cake laid out across his shins because godforbid they used the table like normal people.
Dustin was finishing lighting the candles with Wayne's lighter, then made little conductor hands at the group, who all jumped into a chorus of 'Happy Birthday'.
Steve didn't know what to do with himself, he just stood there awkwardly, smiling gratefully at every person in the room. They were all there, the Wheelers and little Holly, the Sinclairs, Claudia, Hop and Joyce, Argyle and Jon and Nancy, the kids all smiling at him encouragingly, dare he say it lovingly.
He hadn't been sung to since he was a boy, he couldn't help feeling emotional, a tear escaping down the side of his face when Dustin and Erica wrapped an arm each around his middle, another tear splashing down into Dustin's curls as he looked down at them both wrapping his arms around their shoulders. The singing eventually stopped and Wayne muttered that maybe he should "blow out the candles, before there's more wax than frosting" making them all chuckle. 
He released the kids and bent over the foot of the bed to do as he was asked when Robin yelled, "Don't forget to make a wish!'
A wish?! Looking around the room, at friends and family gathered for his birthday, at the pile of presents sitting in the corner of the room, at Robin's gift and the tattered old book and Eddie's tired but smiling face. There was only one thing missing from this picture, something he could only wish would be different in the next year.
Some wishes in life you know will come true, like putting your hand in someone else's and them tightening their grip, like going to hug your best friend when you're snotty and disgusting and them hugging you back, like a kiss on the forehead or a hand on your shoulder, like Hop's was as Steve looked bewilderedly around the room, warm and protective.
Some wishes though you had to hope for with your whole chest, some wishes were just that, but as he looked at El and Lucas he knew he wasn't the only one wishing with his whole heart as he took a deep breath extinguishing all the tiny flames to a round of applause.
Nothing could make his birthday more perfect than having his little sister by his side again, but this right here, with sleepy eyes and sibling support and more loving parents than any kid could ever dream of, with his soulmate who he has no doubt orchestrated this whole event in a hospital room, this was as close as they could get to perfect for now.
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sfsolstice · 1 month
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exurb1a, from "Last Date" in Poems for the Lost Because I'm Lost Too
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kimdokjas · 4 months
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@demonlike-judge-of-fire HI YES OFC
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It's called Jinsolhan Segye (진솔한 세계), or Truth or Dare in English, with story and art by Yu Myeong.
The premise basically asks what would happen in a world without lies. If everyone in the world could only tell the truth, but the MC is the only one who can lie.
HEAR ME OUT THO I'm usually not into stories with high school settings but this one's worth it. Trust me. Like it straight up has some of the best writing I've seen in any manhwa. The foreshadowing and character depth are just. mwah. top tier. And the prose itself is so poetic and philosophical too.
What drew me in initially wasn't so much the art style itself but rather... the art's use of symbolism, paneling choices, and thematically significant color palettes. Does that make any sense. Like in terms of craftsmanship of both art and story it's such a hidden gem.
The thing I love about this manhwa though is how even though it revolves around the binary concept of truth and lies, there's no simplicity in this story.
It's more like a thought experiment that commits to playing out the scenario in its entirety, and it becomes a commentary on human nature as it poses deep philosophical questions.
This story reaches out to you, the reader, and makes you think.
What is a lie? What is a truth? Is the truth at a single point in time immutable or can it be changed? If the absolute truth is a lie, then is every spoken word the truth?
If truths are absolute then how does that affect human relationships? Is trust possible in a world of shallow truths? Does love come from understanding or does understanding come from love? Can you truly love someone if you will never fully understand them?
What is the meaning of existence when no one believes you exist? Does loneliness breed arrogance or starvation? Is being different an advantage or does it make human connection impossible?
Can you justify changing your fate if it involves blurring the dichotomy of true and false, right and wrong? Do you have any right to mourn the narrative if you're writing it yourself?
ANYWAYS lol I haven't even finished reading it yet but it's already making me want to reread bc holy shit. I need to see it in a new light. It's one of those stories that recontextualizes the beginning and in terms of analysis it's a gold mine. The writing is so good it's making me insane in real time
TLDR: read truth or dare for an existential crisis <3
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themthistles · 11 months
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i think that while micro labels can seem useful and affirming ultimately they're isolating and kind of an obstacle to your understanding of self. that's because you can never find a word specific enough. there will never be a label or two labels or even ten, twenty of them to perfectly capture and describe all of your thoughts, feelings, experiences, preferences, needs, interests, identities, etc. because you learn more and more about yourself every day and then you change and your wants and needs change with you. having to hop between labels, fearing that you don't 'fit' into a label anymore (both in your own and others eyes), worrying how soon your current label will wear out, questioning if you'll ever fully fit a single one. all that causes a lot of uncertainty and anxiety which could be avoided by just picking a more general thing and molding it according to what it means to YOU. because words will always mean different things to different people, you will never be understood immediately and maybe never completely by anyone but yourself and that's fine
#another thing is that micro labels often feel like they fracture the community unnecessarily#idk how many times i've seen fighting over hyperspecific ace labels and what they mean and if people described in them even belong#and honestly i think this discourse wouldn't be so vile and neverending if people accepted the idea of falling under general umbrella#and accepted that you can't describe complicated weird and wonderful act of human existence with a couple of words#you don't need to explain yourself to anyone#i know in our present pronouns/sexuality/gender in bio carrd era it feels like you have to but you really don't#people aren't entitled to a short summary of your inner world and you can't speed run connection#also feel the need to say: i have nothing against people who use micro labels#if you feel like your micro label describes you perfectly? i'm really glad and happy for you#i'm just expressing my own thoughts and feelings that come from personal experience with exploring these things#at some point i started doubting if i could call myself a lesbian#i thought oh i'm not exactly what a lot of people generally think of when they hear that word#oh they'll misunderstand and i'm not being my 'true self' i'll find a word that fits me exactly if i just keep looking#and then i found out being aroace is a thing and boy did that add a lot of anxiety and confusion to the pot#i didn't feel like i fit in with both communities wasn't lesbian enough wasn't aroace enough#but at some point i just got tired of trying to justify myself to others and to myself#identities aren't houses you live in they're more like seas or rivers flowing into one another#and spaces where they intersect are vague and hard to define and they shift and change and this metaphor is getting away from me#basically#words are complicated#but they're the only direct way we humans can communicate#it is what it is#so make art#a lot of it#oh also unrelated but if you ever tell older queer folks that they're using wrong words to describe themselves i am going to jump you
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vvanessaives · 1 year
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INFAMOUS ⇢ Maverick 'Maeve' De Soto
Maverick De Soto (they/she) is the lead singer and frontman of the alternative R&B group VENUS' HAVEN, well known and appreciated by their fans for their distinctive electronic sounds. The singer's husky voice perfectly matches the alluring—yet often sharply irreverent—lyrics which, paired with their striking stage presence, manage to make every performance one of a kind. Considered quite a controversial presence, Maverick is either blindly loved or hated by the group's fans.
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luanna801 · 1 year
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Okay possibly unpopular opinion time, but I think classic lit 'fandoms' are not remotely required to dwell on the problematic aspects of those works. If you're talking about something relating to those aspects and completely fail to acknowledge the issue, then yeah, absolutely, we have a problem. But I don't see choosing to focus on the more positive aspects or the parts that still resonate as an issue. And - in my very personal, biased opinion - I don't necessarily think making constant posts like "Remember the problematic thing!!! Look at how offensive it is!! Talk about it or you're problematic too!!" makes for a better experience for many members of the marginalized groups in question.
Like, I'm Jewish, and The Picture of Dorian Gray is one of my all-time favorite books. It also has some of the worst anti-semitic writing I've seen. I rarely post about this. When I go into the tags and largely see posts focusing on other aspects of the story, I find it a relief rather than offensive. Seeing constant posts like "Remember, The Picture of Dorian Gray is anti-semitic!! Look at this anti-semitic caricature!!" wouldn't make me feel protected, it would just keep shoving something upsetting to me in my face.
I just kind of - perhaps naively - assume we're all intelligent enough to know that the Problematic Thing is Problematic, and there's no need to constantly dwell on it just to prove how woke you are. People are allowed to want fandoms to be fun, even classic lit fandoms. And I sort of take umbrage with the idea that it's always privileged people that these issues aren't relevant to saying so. I understand obviously people are going to have various differing reactions to it, but as someone from a group that frequently gets villanized in classic lit, I don't necessarily feel more welcome in a fandom if people focus on The Problematic Thing more.
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