#idk i’ll just do what i can tonight

[callixton]

oh i am on the Brink of a mental breakdown. and like a real one. i am going to feel so so fucking terrible and guilty if i don’t go to the first week of mac rehearsal bc i need to recover but i am also getting the sense that i Need to recover. i have never been this burnt out or genuinely terrified of starting a new semester in my life.

#we go back to campus a week early for mac. to be clear #and god they’ll be long days and they’ll be physically emotionally and mentally draining and i genuinely dont know if i can take that #but i am also going to be missing SO much time. and i won’t be there to support the people who i need to #i have also. been thinking a lot about how i’m scared that i think so much abt death bc i’m gonna be one of those people #who seem even more than everyone else like they have a finite time and then they die young #and then my mom compared me to jonathan larson tonight #so maybe that’s some sort of sign that i need to slow the fuck down #i am crying rn. for myself. which happens about three times a year #and yeah one is usually during winter break so we’re on schedule #i don’t know. idk!! i don’t know what to do here #and i still have to do my fucking scene prep for tomorrow #bc i was talking my mom about it and i really needed support which she was giving and then she has to leave for five seconds #and when she came back the entire conversation was just about her own problems again which we’ve already talked about every fucking night bc #- you can’t leave conversations with her and i hate when she fucking drunks i hate it i hate it #i am Not Well. i’ve sort of been avoiding admitting to myself just how badly #but man. i can push through anything until i drop but when i start wishing that i’ll drop so i have an excuse for a break….. not good #ted talks #the west wing

[ssreeder]

when is chapter 11 coming out??? i don’t wanna rush you or anything just curious😭

Hiiiii

I’ll post chapter 11 tonight after I get home :) it’s no rush! I am happy to give you an update (all silly 24k of it…. ugh.)

#I’m so sorry other asks I haven’t answered #& comment ahhh idk if I’ll get to them this time #I’m going to BLAST THROUGH THEM when I get home #I just have been super busy and it’s hard to get everything done #but I will answer as many as I can #but I don’t wanna hold off posting the next chapter because of comments #so I’ll do what i can #but no matter what I will #post tonight :) #thanks for asking #avatarkyoshifan #liab #itf #ask

[pallases]

ourgejjg

#i am feeling so ill rn for no reason and i need to shower and wash my hair so bad but i can tell if i do it rn it’ll make the #lightheadedness ten times worse and there is a nonzero chance i will just pass out in there 😭 #best guess is bc my period started today and yeah the first two days suck but they’re not usually This bad #personal #also this is the last thing i need rn it’s tech week and all rehearsals lately have been going/are going to go till 10 pm and i have no tim #to do all my assignments and my probability prof assigned a lab today that’s due TMRW AT MIDNIGHT? <- we usually get a class period btwn #it being assigned and the deadline and he’s not even giving us until the next class period to do it now like why is it due at midnight #instead of noon the next day… also i have not one but two exams immediately following this weekend and i really want to see my family for #easter but that sounds like such a bad idea im so unproductive at home and i’ll be busier than usual when i go home on top of that bc easte #and one of the exams is circuits for which exams are worth 90% of our grade and im averaging a 74% at the moment which is NOT #promising and. AAAAA #also have an exam this thursday which imnot nearly as worried abt but still. and i have to meet w someone abt a scholarship tmrw during my #free period so i Still can’t work on that stupid lab due tmrw night like. this sucks okay ‼️ #the engineering chronicles #the music chronicles #i know it was only a matter of time before musical started stressing me out but 😭 please give me back the joys of saturday’s rehearsal… #oh also there’s ANOTHER probability lab due day after easter and same day as circuits exam and the prof is the same so he knows full well #what he’s doing like. why are you not giving us the usual period in btwn for these anymore fuck you <3 #OH ALSO soldering qualification i need to do for like 3 hours wednesday the night before my thursday exam. nearly forgot abt that one i hat #it hereeee #soldering i could reschedule tho which i might do. but ive already pushed it back once so im like :/ do i really wanna do that #idk. still feel sick as fuck and still need to do physics prelab tonight 😭 it shouldn’t take long but i really don’t want to get up and #stare at my computer even more ifeel so awful rn #ANYWAY. sorry that was oversharing even for me i am just 😐 you know.

[tintedglasses]

.

#I feel worried about this interview Thursday because I feel so soul crushingly tired that I do not want to prep tonight #and I worry that I am unprepared #and that I’m not going to be able to perform as well as I need to #and I’ll mess up #and it’s hard to tell what portion of that is just anxiety fueled by being tired #and what portion of that is protective to make sure I don’t drop the ball #idk! #who can know!

[pepprs]

crying again lol ok

#purrs #and posting online abt it so i get immediate validation / support instead of asking for help from anyone im close to i know. but god fucking #damn it to hell. ok im going to be candid about this because it hurts so fucking bad. five years ago i met someone so important to me. and I #miss her so so so so much. and every space here i have a memory with her in. and she left in July and she’s gone. and im sobbing my eyes out #FOR WHY because it was over 6 months ago and im happier and she’s happier and we’re all happier. but i think im getting some aftershocks #being here for the first time without her exactly 5 years to the week we met: when she was so important to me. she was the whole reason i #even saw myself as something. and she’s fucking gone. she left. but she’s not dead like LMAO idk why im crying so hard when i could just #text her any time and tell her that i miss her. but idk. it’s just everything is stirring memories and they’re painful to think about now or #at least today because she’s gone and it all changed. i was just saying that i feel like im not having any emotions and tonight the grief ju #just rammed into me like a train and my fucking counselor sucks ass and won’t even help me work through it and everyone is busy and tired an #and im a staff coach so im not supposed to be having a fuckjng mental breakdown over **** pacing around in my bathroom at 1:23am but ive be #been thinking about her so much and remembering all the formative interactions i had with her here and missing her so much i want to explode #and die and p*ke and whatever. so stupid to cry about it but i fucking miss her. and i hate that she’s not here. and i’m trying so hard to b #be her but i have to be me but i can’t not have what she brought here and im just crashi ng and burning and can’t be honest and im having a #breakdown and crying so hard and i don’t know what to do. i ithink i’ll be fine after some sleep and reflection but my heart is like seizing #on itself right now and nothing takes my mind off it and i just keep crying LMFAOOOOOO. i hate it here #delete later #like how can you look at me like that and then fuck off to ****** 4.5 years later. you know? im about to punch a hole into the hallway #and i have to be quiet bc ppl are trying to sleep but it’s making me fucking crazy. #retreat tag

[prettyboysmlm]

markiplier saves the day once again

#i was watching a nexpo video #and decided to scroll thru the recommended videos #which on mobile you can just swipe up and it’ll show all the thumbnails and they’ll cover the video #so u don’t miss what’s happening #well #i was doing that #and then the video started talking abt jeff the killer #and it showed that one image (u know the one and if u don’t don’t look it up) #and LUCKILY #a markiplier video was covering most of it so i didn’t see it #which is good! bc that image gives me nightmares every time i see it #i also think it was the scarier version of the original #which i hate even more #idk but the way his eyes look. and his mouth. #even think abt it puts me on edge #i hate it so fucking much #anyways #i was enjoying the nexpo video but decided to switch to markiplier to save my sanity and the sleep i’ll get tonight #that was fun #k.txt

[rosicheeks]

😔

#bahhhhhhh humbug #I want my own place #this suuuuuucks #I was super excited and planning on painting tonight #but nooOOoOoOoOooOoOo #my roommate is having a guy over #so idk if I can really be in the living room without bothering them #so now I’m just kinda awkwardly sitting in my room #not knowing what to do for my night #idk mannnnn #moments like these kinda trigger something in me #I get super sad cause I hate the place I live now but it’s a billion times better than the place I have to move back to in 2 months #and then I get anxious about moving back home and all the problems with that #and then I get sad cause I know there’s no chance I’ll ever be able to get my own place any time soon #I just want a small little apartment #is that too much to ask? #ok I should shut up before I ruin my night #but man I’m in a funk now #send some cute asks 🥺 #i’ll love you forever #shut up rosie

[apathyfairy]

i’m not even kidding everytime i experience any sort of joy whatsoever something bad happens it’s like in friends when phoebe was killing people everytime she went to the dentist but for real

#speaking of dentists. lmao. #first of all i have a broken wisdom tooth that i’ve been putting off removing for 2 years now but i have all of them #tonight i was actually in an ok mood like it’s early i was gonna go to bed early and just relax #but i was like hm maybe i want to trying doing something new with my hair so i was fucking around with that and listening to music #and just being fine! like contentness which is v rare. anyway i was like ok i’m gonna start taking better care of my teeth #so back to wisdom teeth the one on my bottom right didn’t fully come out so it gets like plaque on it so i got a small child toothbrush #to really get in there and brush it yeah tmi i guess but in front of that wisdom tooth i have a temprorary filling #from 1 year ago bc this one dumbass dentist i went to well actually i went there as a kid but she’s terrible but i needed a filling fast so #i went there last year. anyway she put a temp in and said ok come back in 6 months and i didn’t because i wasnt gonna go to her anymore #and i couldn’t go to my good dentist bc he told me to remove my wisdoms and i didn’t lmao. anyway long story short i was brushing that #wisdom bitch really good and a chunk of my temp filling tooth broke off. not the filling of course but my real tooth and i’m like ok. #so god isnt real for real then. like. the reason i put all this fucking shit off is bc i don’t have money and now i fucking have to go fix #it so i’m 100% fucked i’ll never move out from my abusive gr*ndmothers house and i’m just completely fucked i’m so upset. #anyway hope i die in my sleep tonight #*temporary. if i die tonight i don’t want u guys thinking i can’t spell temporary i’m just fucking upset #it’s literally gonna be thousands isnt it like. i don’t even fucking know if they CAN fix it and who has thousands of dollars not fucking me #idk i have literally no idea what i’m supposed to do now

[vacantgodling]

.

#here’s the vibe #i have a friend who wants me to read her novel that she’s done #she didn’t formally ask me to beta but just said hey can you read it #and i said i’d love to #then my job happened and family happened and i shoulda said no cuz like #i don’t have the brain for shit most of the time #i’m just tired from work all the time #and i feel bad for having her be like oh can you read this thing or have you read it yet #and like Nah bro i haven’t bc life sucks and ugh #i feel bad but idk what to say #like uzhshdjdjdj #UGH #i don’t really feel bad as in i don’t feel bad bc i’m a terrible person or smthn #nah i just don’t like letting people down #but like idk i didn’t wanna be rude #and say i don’t wanna read it #bc i do want to read it #i just have life shit and i Cant Really #ugh i’ll get over it and just read it tonight or smthn #the whole thing idc #talking

[bonnie-bug]

made the mistake of watching one of those fake emergency broadcast videos on youtube (specifically one based in quebec where a good chunk of the world was rapidly covered in 14+ meters of snow in the middle of summer) and even tho it wasn’t supernatural spooky scary it hasnt left my fuckin head and now i cant stop thinking “what if something like that happens. what if there’s a demon attack. what if there’s some kind of creature in ur hallway right now. what if a fuckin scp was real and your only warning was an emergency broadcast just like that”

I dont even believe this kind of shit is real WHY is my brain so fuckin paranoid about supernatural shit. lowkey it happens every night but it’s always worse when I watch something even slightly supernatural horror adjacent. why. I only even watched the stupid video BECAUSE it wasnt a creature/scp/supernatural horror based one and I thought I’d be fine :(

#I’ve always had anxiety around alert noises tho :/ my mom was paranoid abt storms and so had a weather alert radio when I was a kid #and since she was always afraid of bad storms that made ME scared and I dreaded every time I heard that radio go off #and it’s the automatic alert sound for so many emergency broadcasts it still gives me an anxiety spike to this day #so maybe that has something to do with it. but why also spooky horror creatures. #it’s never normal shit like ‘’what if a guy broke into our house’’ or anything no it’s always a fuckin demon or something #I should be clear here and say these paranoia. things never actually tip me into an anxiety or panic attack or anything dont worry #but. it IS annoying. and I’m so tired of it. and I’ve come up with coping mechanisms but idk how to make them Stop #bc just saying ‘’bro it’s not real’’ does nothing bc i KNOW its not. but they still keep happening #would these count as some kind of intrusive thought. bc it definitely causes me distress but it’s not like. the harmful idea kind #and idk what the nuance is and what actually counts as an intrusive thought and not just Brains Thinking Shit #And Sometimes That Shit Is Distressing #idk. I’m procrastinating getting my water from the living room bc a lot of my Bad Thoughts are centered around that hallway/living room area #maybe I’ll just turn on the light or something. I dont want to make my dad get my water for me #bc ‘’I watched a slightly spooky video this afternoon and now my brain is convinced demons will kill me’’ is a hard thing to explain #I mean he’d be nice about it and get my water I’m sure but I also dont want him to worry abt me kdbdbdkd #ok. I’ll turn on lights and go. and hopefully I can actually sleep tonight kdbdbdk #I’m not sticking this in my post tag bc I dont want to find it again and trigger another paranoia night lmao

[sluttyten]

if it was just up to me I’d be on my way home by now, but I’m staying with my best friend at her boyfriend’s house, and she told me last night that she wants to sleep in and go to a local mall this morning (which doesn’t even open until 11), and then we have to stop in another city because I promised an old coworker I was close with that we’ll stop and see her since we’re going that way anyway, but now I’m like probably not getting home until late afternoon, but if I left now, or like an hour and a half ago when I woke up, I’d be home by a little bit after noon, actually earlier than that because there’s a time change somewhere in there

#I tried telling her the other day when she first mentioned the mall that I don’t really want to go #but she really wants to #and it’s kinda annoying because it’s a little bit out of our way? #like it’s the same general direction that we’re going in but not really #and also she’s gonna be up here again in like two or three weeks? she can just go then #it’s not like she needs to go she just wants to see this one store that our mall at home doesn’t have anymore #and I just want to go home 😭😭 I barely wanna stop and see my friend in the other city now #but I also really do because I want to see where she works and that’s where we’re meeting her #but also if I get home at a decent enough time I might be going out of town again tonight lol because there’s somewhere my mom wants to see #that’s like a two hour drive away from home #like damn let me just spend the entirety of my four day weekend traveling #(I’m fine with it mostly) I just hate that right now I’ve been awake for an hour and a half just waiting #at least I’ve been writing #working on yesterday’s kinktober prompt #I think I’m nearly done and then I’ll start on the one that’s supposed to be for today #I don’t even know how I’m gonna post these now that I’m a few days behind #bc if I post them all at once then I feel like they’re just not gonna get notes #but we’ll see #I’ll probably post at least the day 14 and 15 tomorrow #hopefully 16 and 17 too but since those two still need to be written and I have to work tomorrow idk what’s gonna happen

[spiritofjustice]

Speaking of ACOH I have no fucking clue what chapter to post tomorrow. 12, I guess? I really need to edit it again, it’s the longest chapter so it’s bound to have a bunch of errors. 13 isn’t ready yet, I haven’t reread it at all, and 6 is like. It’s ready but it takes place so late chronologically I’m saving to post it as one of the last chapters. Tbh it might be a good second to last chapter, but we’ll see.

#psy's no punctuation posts #ACOH tag #unless I edit 13 tonight and decide it’s good I ain’t posting it #i don’t like to post multiple long chapters in a row bcs we just had Flints at 17k #and then 12 is like 18k maybe? idk. it’s so long #it’s kinda back to back long chaps bht what can I do #i also don’t. love 13 but maybe I’ll like it more when I revisit it and see the whole product

[deityofhearts]

i feel like my life is always going to be dysfunctional and unstable

#deity dialogue #and that’s tonight’s sad thought post brought to you by it’s almost 3am crystal #every situation I’ve ever been in has to some degree been just #a mess it’s always a mess I have no sense of stability and idk what it even looks like at this point #stability just feels like a lie made up for tv and movies at this point #I’ll probably die before I ever have a stable and happy life #I’m honestly surprised I even made it this far in life #I kinda wish I didn’t but like there’s not much I can do about that now

[lovelyisadora]

still can’t do my papers and can’t even do the bare minimum to get two more incompletes 🙃🙃🙃 I mean I don’t have a choice I’ll have to but oh my god what has happened to me

#my other prof was like. idk if you’re gonna pass with only two of the three assignments you need because you failed your exam remember #and I was like oh right I forgot about that #and she suggested an incomplete 🙃 #my other professor also suggested an incomplete 🙃 but in order to get that one done I have minimum seven small papers to do #all are done asap tonight and I haven’t started any of them bc when I think about them I seize up #grad adventures #it’ll be okay if I can just get the work in but oh my god #it shouldn’t be hard to write seven one page papers an annotated bibliography and one 3-5 page grant proposal and yet here we are #and none of it matters if the graduate council declines my petition to extend my thesis proposal deadline bc if they do then I fail so 🙃 #anyway yeah I’m being hard on myself today but also I’ve had the last three weeks to work on these things and I haven’t been able to do its #my own fault really #ANYWAY it’s my as scheduled breakdown time and when it’s over I’ll (hopefully) be able to submit the bare minimum to get my incompletes #and this time I’ll do the damn work on time so I don’t have to petition the graduate council bc I think they’re gonna actually kill me #the good news is in a few weeks I’m restarting the medical processes of let’s find out what the fuck is physically wrong with isadora again #and that I might actually get answers bc my aunt (a doctor) is pissed off that mine doesn’t listen to me #and is going to make some calls 🙃

[zombienarc]

-

#‘b’ and I got in a pretty big fight last night. he wouldn’t consider me over and over again so I snapped and started beating on him. #He tried getting me back so I just started get more pissed and starting biting him; punching him in the face- #- I even took my phone and started smashing him in the skull with my phone because he came up behind me. He started gushing blood. #I had to pretend to care so he didn’t freak out more. Gave him advice on how to take care of it. I’ve had my hair share of hurting someone- #- enough that they bleed so I genuinely didn’t feel anything and was prepared to assist. #Idk why these people think that I’m not a good fighter. I think fast under pressure; I’m a quick draw; I’m strong. #He’s getting kicked out of the place he was staying out and it serves him right to try to attack me and talk to me the way he did. #Again.. I have to pretend to care but really I’m laughing. The universe always works in my favor. I don’t want to be angered into that- #- again. I have things to accomplish. So tonight when he started trying to blame the whole thing on me I just don’t him I’m leaving him. #He responds with ‘okay. be done.’ and I just open and don’t respond. Infact I start doing my workout routine. I’ll turn my power into- #- something that’ll benefit me. #I most certainly got my last lick in. He’s currently having symptoms of a concussion #Lines in his vision. Almost fell down from dizziness. Headache. Now he has to rehome his dogs because he’s getting kicked out. #What a shame he had to try me ‘just to see if I’ve changed.’ #After he noticed I wasn’t going to try to fix things he texted me back saying ‘I hate this. I hate this.’ I replied with- #- ‘Then don’t disrespect me. If you manage that we’ll be just fine.’ Then he said okay and I have to do the same. #I agreed but honestly.. I’ll do whatever the fuck I want especially if you bring nothing to my life and shit on me. Do better. Do more. #Like I told him ‘I don’t care what others think I should do with myself.’ So he can jump off a bridge with how wrong everyone would- #- think I am. I truly do not care. That is my power. Me first. Always. #grey god #b #Don’t mind the typos.

[lewisvinga]

thank you, nurse ! | lando norris x nursing student! reader

summary; everyone thought it was strange yn never made it to races until it’s finally revealed why

fc; belajuliana_

note; as a future nursing student, i needed this

nclex is the exam you take after finishing the nursing program to become a registered nurse !!!!

masterlist !

liked by landonorris, bsfusername, and 120,038 others!

yourusername: post-night clinicals, at least it was w bsfusername !

bsfusername: we better get on our professors good side after doing night clinicals 3 weeks in a row😒😒

yourusername: night clinicals are a vibe

bsfusername: they really are especially with a mcdonald’s iced coffee

yourusername: ‘murica 🦅🦅

username: omg

username: SHES A NURSING STUDENT

username: so pretty omg

landonorris: nurse help!! i’m hurt, i think you need to check it out 😏😉

yourusername: i’m not registered yet sorry😕😕😕

landonorris: babe, pls play along 💔💔

yourusername: SORRY BABE, i can heal u quickly 😉

username: she’s pretty, smart, and helps people in need , she really got y’all

username: clinicals are NO joke, no wonder she couldn’t make it to any races

liked by username, username, and 349,937 others!

f1wags: Lando Norris and his girlfriend, Y/n L/n, were spotted at dinner just 2 days before the Silverstein Grand Prix!

username: the way she looks at him🥹🥹

username: everyone doubting her love for him when she smiles at him like THAT

username: he deserves better

username: like you?? LMFAOO

username: they’re so cute what

liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, and 1,748,927 others!

landonorris: P2 and a 🏆 at my home race !!!!!!!! ❤️you guys are crazyyyyyyyyy 💙 extra thank you to my favorite nurse for nursing me back to health 💓💓

tagged; yourusername

yourusername: do not be fooled everyone, it was just a cut which i healed with a hello kitty band aid!

landonorris: like i said, thank you, nurse !

yourusername: so so so so proud of u🥹🥹

liked by landonorris !

username: lando p2 is everything

username: LANDO PODIUM AT HIS HOME RACE!!

mclaren: 🧡

username: he fr loves her

username: ‘my favorite nurse’ ME AND WHO😫😫

username: the clip of her in mclaren’s garage🥹

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 394,038 others!

yourusername: p2 for my love 🧡🧡 so unbelievably proud of you! here’s to many more podiums! i love you so much🧡🧡

tagged; landonorris

landonorris: AWHHH

landonorris: i love you so much , thank you for being my lucky charm and for nursing me back to health w my paper cut🧡🧡🧡💓💓💓

yourusername: i’ll nurse you back to health anytime 💗💗

oscarpiastri: don’t let lando fool you he squealed

yourusername: when doesn’t he squeal

username: omg they’re so cute

username: laying on the highway tonight

username: i want to know what manifestations yn did bc they’re ADORABLE

yourusername posted to their story !

liked by yourusername, bsfusername, and 1,203,938 others!

landonorris: guess who is dating an official!! registered pediatric nurse!!!! congratulations on passing the nclex my love. so proud of you for making it through nursing school. i love you so much, Y/n L/n R.N.

tagged; yourusername

yourusername: couldn’t have done it w/o our facetime sessions 🥹🥹

landonorris: making sure you study hard, R.N!!

yourusername: R.N. does sound nice 😌

yourusername: i love love love love you!!!!

landonorris: and i love love love love love you!!!

yourusername: happy to nurse my favorite driver back to health any day

landonorris: searching up on how to purposely get sick 🧐🧐🧐🧐

username: OMGOMGOMG

username: she was busy in nursing school that’s why she couldn’t visit 😫😫

username: she helps KIDS you can’t hate her 😫

username: idk if i want him or her

oscarpiastri: congrats!!! now can you visit lando more often so i don’t have to hear him whining all the time!!!

yourusername: i’ll try😌

landonorris: i don’t whine that much !!

carlossainz55: enhorabuena! [congratulations]

yourusername: gracias ❤️🧡 [thank you]

username: lando’s girlfriend being a nurse is everything

username: lando won the lottery omggg

#formula one imagine #formula one x reader #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic #formula one imagines #lando norris x reader #lando norris x y/n #lando norris imagine #formula one social media au #f1 smau #smau #f1 scenario