#idk i was just rambling here mostly but yeah

[thswrtchdthng]

your first mistake was giving me the green light on rambling about ultrakill

THE LORE OF ULTRAKILL HEAVILY SUMMARIZED:

mankind is dead. blood is fuel. hell is full.

THE LORE OF ULTRAKILL ONLY SLIGHTLY LESS SUMMARIZED (still very summarized and i might get some things wrong):

during ww1, various countries involved began developing machines that ran on blood. each new machine created was meant to be stronger than the last one. in the end, this led to the creation of the earthmover by japan, which was an absolutely giant machine. so large that people started living on top of them. before the war ended, only one machine was created, though it never got a chance to fulfill its purpose of defeating the earthmover: this machine was called v1, and its unique ability was to heal upon contact with blood from any source. when the war was over, a different version of v1, named v2, was created for the purpose of keeping peace. these are v1 and v2.

now, eventually, humanity discovered an entrence to hell. don't question it. also hell is a living organism.

then, somehow, humanity died. all of it. everyone was dead. and all that remained were the machines they'd created.

in ultrakill, a first-person shooter video game, you play as v1, and your goal is simple: blood. you just want more blood. and you are in hell. so you start ultrakilling everybody. it's also based on dante's inferno, so that's fun.

in the post i made, i said alice is like v2 to me. this is mostly because v2 is an important character, but not a very powerful boss fight, and alice is a very lore-relevant character, but not very high up on the corporate ladder. but also because v2's purpose was to maintain peace and order, but she didn't get to fulfill that purpose. everyone died. v2 is, even though she never admits or acknowledges it, very possibly the only machine with the capacity to truly miss humanity. idk why, but that reminds me a lot of alice dyer. make of that what you will.

now. the other character i mentioned is THE FERRYMAN. THIS GIRL->

basically ferrymen are sinners from the layer of wrath deemed worthy of redemption by heaven. they're tasked with carrying passengers through the afterlife. another fun bit of ferryman lore is that they all tear their skin off from shame, but heaven grants them a holy cloth to cover their faces. pretty simple, yeah? but this one looks a bit bored. probably because she was promised she could go to heaven if she carried enough passengers, but...no more passengers are coming through. because humanity is dead.

the ferryman is considered a slightly more difficult boss fight, or maybe just one slightly later in the game than both v2 fights (you fight v2 twice), but you can actually literally just. pay her to leave. toss some coins at her and you can literally just skip the fight.

i can't articulate why she reminds me of lena but. she does.

so anyways all of this and i haven't even gotten to gabriel. there is so much lore. there's an excellent video explaining all of it that i can send a link to if i've caught ur interest with this.

oh also a lot of people ship v2 and the ferryman.

oh also neither of them canonically go by she/her pronouns but it's a very very common headcanon, and i'm pretty sure hakita (the developer) gave a shout out to the she/her v2 headcanon specifically at some point.

I LOVE ULTRAKILL I THINK ULTRAKILL IS REALLY COOL!!!!!

okokok. several thoughts.

this seems so fucking cool????????? to the point that I might play it when I can get it

thoughts on shipping v1 and v2? cause from what you've said they sound quite shippable to me

if hell is a living organism, is it like,,,,consenting?? to be entered????? does it have a personality?????? that might just be my conceptum tendencies but,,,,,is hell like a character in itself (sort of)?? (the question here is can I romance hell or not, and does hell enjoy being entered)

if it's based on Dante's Inferno I already know I'm going to like it

v2 sounds extremely huggable. can I hug her?

and you're right that 'being the only one with the ability to miss humanity' gives Alice vibes for some reason

ferrymen sound so sad to me. can I hug them? and give them a little skincare?

the ferryman concretely is hot. is that alright to say? she sounds very interesting to talk to (do ferrymen talk? does anyone here talk?)

well everyone you've mentioned so far is hot to me tbh

who's gabriel? please please please send me that link I wanna know about them now. I've always had a complicated relationship with every archangel gabriel based thing/character (I have very passionate feelings towards biblical gabriel for some reason) so I'll probably love them

but yeah ultrakill sounds pretty cool! I'll probably look more into it in the future

#ask #💭👁️‍🗨️ #ultrakill

[seeminglydark]

Would Caro ever grow their hair out long as an adult? Understandable if it bring up BAD PTSD FEELINGS AND FEARS, was just curious. Related: Would Johnny ever grow his hair out long?

HM im going to say probably not in caros case. I think they would get past the PTSD of it a few years after their brittney spears moment, it was always about not having control over it and less about the hair itself i think (which is why im comparing it to that analogy,) but these days Caro is fairly low maintenance about their appearance and hair like they used to have requires a LOT of work and upkeep. The only thing they bother with these days is skin care and drawing in their eyebrows. They want to be out the door, driving with the top down, or stuffing their head and shorter hair into a motorcycle helmet and not worrying about fixing it up afterward haha! on the opposite end of the spectrum, while ive yet to draw caro middle aged, in my head they have thinning hair/pattern baldness and absolutely rock it.

As for John. ok i actually sketched it a bit for the Human Version of him in werewolf AU, johns hair is thick and wavy bordering on curly, and i just. he looked too much like Mr Universe. And it made me laugh. its not bad, but it REALLY didnt fit his character specifically.

I'm very hair-centric with my character designs, and while i love a cute metalhead or long haired boy, hell im married to a long hair boy, and at some point Avery (character in Seemingly Dark) will be the long haired boy in my stories, to me, john without his trademark pomp or hawk just doesnt feel like john.

#rj rambles #asks and stuff #hair things #original characters #truthfully yea i really just dont think it fit his personalty at all #it really didnt look right to me #but im going to be honest here also #a big reason i didnt show the sketch is cuz people already tag my oc art as fanart of other things more than id like #and john with long hair wouldnt help hah #mostly the detention piece :'c #but other pieces as well #which as an artist can be hmm not ideal? idk how to word that feeling #thats not the reason i didnt choose to go that route but its still a thing #so yeah probably no long hair for either of them #mostly cuz it doesnt fit my idea of them in my head haha #thanks for the ask!

[cloudbends]

Also I can't believe I'm saying this about a persona 5 spinoff but p5t is actually... Surprisingly good? The character dynamics within the phantom thieves are much more fleshed out (which is something I always took issue with in the original game), the character screentime is a lot more balanced and mostly no flanderisation (aka yusuke gets to Do Things for once, makoto gets to Not Do Everything thank god, morgana is the most likeable he's ever been to me), the new characters are incredibly fun and executed very well especially for spinoff-only characters, the plot concepts are interesting, the sprites are very fun and expressive, like. idk I just didn't expect it to make up for some of my issues with the main game tbh!! a pleasant surprise for sure

#vi rambling #persona #I HAVENT PLAYED just watched a full playthrough but like. it took me by surprise #spoilers here: #ernesto's design is one of the better persona designs in recent games? giving p2 persona design vibes mixed w some p3 which is ALWAYS a win #toshiro and erina are GREAT. having a persona based on a human is like. something they havent done since p1 which im so down for. #in general their characters are great and not what i expected. i was scared of it being regressive but not at all #toshiro gets flamed constantly and the nuances of his faults are very clear and handled well!! #and well i always enjoy a soppy pathetic suited loser who learns to be self confident. #and they did the smart thing of giving all the thieves a spotlight by having each relate to the different episodes in toshiro's life which #is SO smart thank god. futaba got so much time here!! HARU!!! YUSUKE!!! RYUJI!!! #idk i just was scared of the dynamics being watered down and i arguably honestly got a lot more here than in the original game. #also morgana finally feels like his own character and not an mc voice replacement. hes really great in this one idk #anyways yeah im pleasantly surprised. #obviously there are the expected faults of like well. antags being v narrow mostly and the usual persona dialogue issues and stuff #but overall what a nice surprise

[fourteenthz]

Changes for wip roundup? 👀

anna!! sorry for taking so long answering this one as well!! but thank you SO MUCH for indulging my wolcred propaganda! <3

And lright this one is a MESS. I wrote it right when I was playing endwalker and I was really overwhelmed with the story™ that I made  mess of this wip so like for the last few months or so I’ve been working on rewriting everything lol so I’ll give you some of my thoughts abt it and a small snippet since I can’t get anything more substantial that I’m satisfied with lol

wip roundup :)

This fic is like following right after the scions are back from the moon. I was overwhelmed with the fact that the WOL didn’t have much saying with the twins and how Fourchenault reacted to them. I was like, yeah, she’s proud of them. They deserve to know that, but also, I’m not sure she would be brave enough to do so. So well this fic starts with me realizing like “alright, thancred would get it. better than anyone” so the first part follows him seeing how she reacts to everything that’s happening with the WOL and making the connections like how he felt about ryne, etc etc

But of course,,, my excuse for this fic was Thesa’s haircut first and foremost. Basically I hc Azem to have insane long hair, and Thesa always had longer hair, and this is like the first time she cut it out and it’s incredibly short. Basically the second part goes from her having a bit of breakdown seeing the moon burning + overthinking about that image of hythlo she saw on the moon and everything that happened there and going “I need new. The final days can’t happen again, things gotta change NOW.” Until she interrupts my Alisaie like knocking on the door which is like the cannon visiting for her during that quest!!

And ofc Alie changes her mind a bit… but she still gets that feeling so this is SO SPECIFIC but like you know the whole “wrapping the red thing around your thinger so you don’t forget?” She does it with a strand of hair, just a reminder (things he has lost etc etc) and chops everything off. But then, ofc, the beginning alone isn’t enough for me so the last part is Thancred’s reaction to it, since I like to think they spend their nights together whenever they can and they DEFINITELY would want to on this one night. There is a bit of that part before any rewriting lol:

A knock on door cut off any other conclusion that Thesa would have come with. She hadn't heard footsteps down the hallway, and the beat was too light to be anyone else — though she doubted many others besides Alisaie would be awake and willing to visit after a day like this. So she calls his name lightly as she walks to the door, and from the suppressed laugh, she was sure.

“It's me.” Thancred’s voice is softer beyond the closed door. She finally quickened her pace to unlock it when he laughed again. “I hope you didn't have to crawl under the covers to-”

From the look he had on his eyes, Thancred seemed to have specific intentions for the visit. However, as soon as she appeared from behind the door and their eyes finally met, the hyur could have sworn that all the thoughts he had — along with all the rehearsed words he had cooked up - slipped his mind.

Thesa freezes for a second too, unsure how to react. Maybe she would explain later, but for some reason, she waited for his reaction to continue.

Thancred seemed entranced for a second as a smile seemed to bump into his face, and then, he made the greatest effort to move; forcing his hand up until he finally reached the messy strands. His right hand stops to her left side, with his thumb behind his ear so he could feel each of the threads between his fingers — clenching his fist to lightly pull them and feel them falling off before repeating the same thing but resting his palm next to her face.

“By the twelve.” He says in a sigh, slightly embarrassed to clearly see the situation they were in as his left hand reached for the longer loose strand and curled it around his fingers before resting his hand on the side of her face, cupping her cheeks, and finally confessing, exactly, the same conclusion of hers. “Perfect.”

He looked at her with different eyes than First and even more different than Walking Sands. Eyes that stretched far farther than he had previously seen — and yet, without missing all the admiration and affection he had always carried. Maybe slightly more, even.

"For a second I didn't recognize you," he smiled, tugging lightly on the strand with a teasing smile, which soon turned into a relieved sigh when he tilted his head to the side, finally meeting her eyes again. "But there she is."

#it just feels ooc for some of them and I don't like how I did some of the exposition so yeah rewriting it. I just need to get in the right #headspace to finish it lol those more canon ones makes me anxious to finish for NO REASON other than my girl deserves the best. so yeah. #ALSO fun fact I feel like I need to share: this fic is only something bc I was frantically doodling on my sketchbook after finishing that #quest. i have the date here lol 3/3/22 (not that long ago ik) but yeah i end up with thumbnail for this little comic #with a BUNCH of notes around it. its kinda overly angsty bc i was feeling like thag at the time bc HYTHLO's “Don't you agree hades?” OR WTV #the notes summarizes to 'but then it does not matter if you hair feels lighter because you have their images engraved in #your mind and you do not have the strength to cut those off so all you do is ask /what now/ but haven't you learned? images can't talk' #and the progression of the coming is her cutting her head and the panels kinda move like a camera to finalize focusing on her back staring #at a mirror reflection the image of emet (black robs + hole in his chest) and the image of hythlo she has for now (from the moon cutscene) #so yeah...... maybe it all started with my hythazemet brainrot and then the fic was too much on alisaie and thancred so i had trouble #idk findinh middle ground with what I wanted ?? but yeah... I'm someday finish rewriting it THIS IS NOT my best exposure of my wolcred work #u guys I'm gonna be honest.... but it's mostly bc i love writinh them being sooo independent so it makes sense when i play and i forget #they are important to my cannon for her lol xiv is just so love coded. all the kinds of love. and i love them all so much its A LOT BUT YEAH #ill stop rambling now LMFAO sorry for this anna but yeah this is my excuse to why thesa will never have 100% short hair #I'll always pick the short + braids hair which is why: 1. im happy the pvp hair is available for viera now and 2. im SO HAPPY with the new #7.0 hairs... there's one there that OOOOH BOY... I WANT THAT. if it fits her it's giving dawntrail :) if it doesn't welp pvp hair it is #but again YEAH THATS IT SORRY FOR TAKING EXTRA LONG I was going through like 3 sketchbooks back to search for this sketch comic lmao #and also... writing this whole essay why can i never be concise man... ANYWAH KDJFJDJDJD TY AGAIN ANNA!! #I'm always here for wolcred on wolcred action ❤️ #ask game #ask #kelly says #my writing #myreia

[greenliar]

Miss your monster art </3

hey im glad to hear someone likes and misses my fanart! monster is still one of my favorite pieces of media ever, but right now im just trying to focus on more silly self indulgent art to fight art block so im not planning to revisit it for now

#i can elaborate #so theres some rambles ahead #naoki urasawa is one of the guys ever and a big inspiration for me #but i had to take a break in consuming his works for now because it oftenly tackles themes of political injustice #like i started reading 20th century boys around January-February 2022 #and i fucking loved it #but like the last chapter i read was about dictatorship #and then war started in late February. yeah #same why i cant contunie on reading master keaton #theres a lot of geopolitical issues discussed #like in monster post ww2 germany is brought up often and its not something im mentally prepared to consume #pluto anime came out and ive read it and i think its an incredible piece of work and to my shame i still haven't watched it pass 2 episodes #bc i still have this kind of...block? #a lot of thoughts idk just didnt want to flood the post so its just my rambles that mostly here as a wiggly train of thought #what i say its hits a nerve because i want to feel safe with my art #and i dont have this mental energy to double issues that i already see irl around me first-hand

[rebelcliche]

i'm really wondering if i should just remake nancy bc i'd like to write on here but my brain short-circuits and i get overwhelmed even tho it makes no sense. and i'm wondering if starting fresh would help??? but idk lol

#i know there are still people around in the fandom but idk who's active and who isn't and who would actually wanna write with me #plus the fandom is kinda dead and i know i was wrapped up in drama here and there (mostly in part to feeling pressured by toxic friend #circles at the time- not that it makes anything right) and i really do feel like a completely new fresh start would be beneficial. though i #won't be able to be too active anyway bc i've gotten so busy with life i don't have a whole lot of time to dedicate to rp even tho i would #like to get back into it! but yeah- i really do think a revamp would be a necessary step. i just hate the thought of having to make new #graphics lmao. anyway sorry for rambling but yeah! #ooc.

[seilon]

no like when I say any answer on the queerest city poll that’s not San Fran is wrong I mean it is factually and historically WRONG

#just. look at the history of lgbt rights and major events in queer history in the us #and I’m telling you it is. in fact. dominated by San Francisco #the other cities that contend for the most part are major us cities that contend simply because they are big and/or heavily populated #like yeah obviously dense cities are going to have a higher number of people in various demographics. im thinking mostly about nyc and #Chicago here for the most part #San Fran is not big. it’s dense but not nearly an nyc level population especially historically. #it’s very unique for having been a safehaven for queers for a long time in comparison to the rest of the country #now I am not. by any means. defending it on every front. or considering it superior in any other way basically. I am SOLELY talking about #it’s unrivaled huge and powerful and long-standing queer community #it is- in the present day- literally almost impossible to live in San Francisco. period. it is absurdly expensive. #it’s homelessness situation especially due to the insane cost of living and there takeover of tech companies and so on #is horrific and for no damn reason (the city has enough money to house people Easily through at LEAST the heavy tourism) #the queer COMMUNITY there is what’s important and it’s history of demanding rights and generally flourishing through their own efforts #anyway idk why I felt the need to ramble about this #actually yes I do it’s becuase I think a lot of younger queer people (or queer people who grew up in isolated or conservative areas don’t #know the history associated with San Francisco and why people regard it as being so fundamentally queer #like the fact that portland is in second on that poll- and this is coming from someone who likes portland overall- is so weird to me #it’s a very progressive place but boy it ain’t got the influence and history that San Fran- or even New York or chicago- have #again it’s hard to compare those big big cities to anything but nonetheless #tangential but. sacramento is also a queer-dense city and though we are small and not nearly as flashy as the other contenders it’s worth #noting I think for being more of a safehaven than people tend to think about #anyway. that’s nothing I just had to represent for a second #kibumblabs

[astrxealis]

hi! i wasnt on all day yesterday WAHAHAHAH but uhm. rambles. in the tags <3

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #aka. back to Updates Of Apollo's Life #spoiler alert it's not super interesting. ANYWAYS MY COUSINS ARE THE CUTEST !!!!! #yesterday was really fun bcs wow i love my lil cousins! so weird to be the oldest alongside lune but yeah <3 #AND. uhm. i forgot a lot of what i wanted to ramble about since yesterday but i was so tboy swag yesterday #if you get what i mean. yeah <33 AND vc and waching w my besties mwah hannah montana so true !!!!! #and i am also now back into deep fe3h brainrots but also still deep into milgram. so that is that #AND okay. idk what else #i uhh edited my rentry? interests! made it back into a rentry instead of a txti (gna use that txti for smth else now maybe?) <3 #i've gotten over (mostly) my (mostly jokeful) distate when it comes to this certain media (music!) #also listened to more music hehe. AND i fixed my spotify #AND i want to finally play that cute cat (and dog?) collecting (chinese?) game i wanted to play ever since an old moot #who isnt here anymore (as far as i'm concerned. NOT IN A CONCERNING WAY BTW i mean they deactivated) #once told me about it! i installed it way back then but i didn't have the time... now i really want to again so <3 #hm. that was smth i wanted to share yeah. fixing my spotify more <33 #AND +. i forgot right after thinking about it ffs why am i LIKE THIS. #i forgor :(( why am i like thisssss SOBBING.......... #oh right nvm i just remembered HELP ANYWAYS i've been looking at more gdocs templates and shit again #uhh. i should one day finally do proper notion stuff </3 and fix my notes <//3 fix everything tbh <///3 #<- i say that and will likely never get to doing so. WHABJEGHBJS sobbing. #but yeah i will be doing more oc stuff... or something. and fixing my themes soon as well! #sorry zero ily but i want mikoto or smth idk. you stayed for 10 days. ily babe. uhm. BUT I WNA #get back to my emil or zero theme sometime in the future bcs i didn't finish em? so when i'm fixated ??? #on drakenier (dod3/replicant) again. uhm. yeah. #okay that's all i hope you all are doing WELL!! <33 #now time for my next class in a bit! uhm. i meant to watch the video my teacher uploaded oops. aha #also !!! proseka !!!!! uh idk where i was going w that. but. proseka !!!!! ig <3

[othercrossee]

Feels like theres an insane missed opportunity about irida character in the game cuz shes picked as leader after the war, FOR A REASON

#z rambles #< clearly do not fucking like everyones interpretation of her character #Okay silly little inexperienced young girl irida is fine but idc for it its not a trope im like excited for but its there #Still I just don't like how they made her to be this. I wouldn't say naive but clearly incompetent leader with the tropey protecting bs #but like. It don't make sense then why the fuck is she leader when theres other a LOT more competent people #There must be sth they saw in her that was like oh yeah shell guide us to a better future. We will have a life better than the current one #I'm just annoyed about it idk why I choose to be annoyed about it now #I do feel like no matter what everything. Protecting her people wouldve already been her intention to begin with #So making that the resolution for her at the end was kinda redundant #I feel like there's a lot more to her than whatever tf they gave her #Or that's cuz I'm crazy and whatever WHATEVER #from here on out I'm talking about Irida separated from the game > #Like. Shes picked as leader and sinner went with her probably cuz for what? Sinner doesn't stick to people they don't find worthwhile #Maybe theres this interest of like huh so the pearls have u as the leader now they must have a reason and I wanna see how it plays out #And I think during their first conversation sinner might've caught themself thinking oh this is just like great grand leader #Mostly cuz from their idea of uniting people and building a safety community and lack of trust in their power and knowledge #But idk there's sth there that made sinner caught themself reminiscing about the past #Anyways back to normal stuff > #Its just annoying cuz now even the whole palina is kinda petty about not being picked as leader shit even worse?? #Like obv palina can be petty about it that's valid of her but writing irida off as this inexperienced clueless kid zero goal is just.... #There's sth about it that set irida up for failure from the start and I don't like it #Also with this writing. It must makes palina case so much worse? Like she's not just petty here. Shes just. Kinda a bad friend #Also cuz palina character works on the tough love bs and I DO NOT like it one bit so #Its weeeeirddd #But pla is a really short game and it didn't establish much for our imagination and their time so #Its awful but it gives me room to imagine and. Complain.

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

the real question is, am I a brave enough girl, mature enough in myself, strong enough in my identity as "girl whose favorite color has been blue since she was 3," to brand myself even temporarily in warm colors?

#in other words #*scandalized victorian maiden voice* red? oh dear Lord- *faints onto a conveniently placed red velvet fainting sofa* #take from this what you will. I'm not changing anything yet but i am Considering #Lu rambles #this is gonna be a whole snafu innit #my whole thing is that I'm not a fandom-centric blog #like I'm a fandom blogger mostly yeah??? but not. A Fandom Blogger. #i just blog and reblog whatever stuff I'm into at any given moment #and veronica is a fairly... idk mundane? icon to have as my brand #i feel like if i do an Actual Fandom Icon again it'll seem like I'm A Fandom Blogger #which I'm not. I'm a fun time blogger. here for the good times the stuff that catches my interest #ETC ETC ETC #anyway #i am Thinking #gotta change up my look for autumn.... gotta do autumn colors..... hmmmmmmm #ignore me I'm just stream of consciousness posting into the void lol akskdjaldjk

[noxtivagus]

i get distracted so easily but i promise i'll get more done ! eventually aaaa 🫶🏼

#🌙.rambles #i find it so amusing how wnvr i have a new interest i always get into it so deeply #a week ago i listened to sm architects songs n searched up sm lyrics n read articles too n now this week it's #switched to the 1975 n i'm listening to sm of their songs too n reading even more articles n watching stuff n YEAH N #oh dear. i shld be doing my assignments due like 24 hours from now n they're easy n i'm nearly done #that's the thing i'm srs nearly done but i keep on getting distracted 😭 n then other stuff too i wna do but forget hflkasdjfd #can't blame me though bcs isn't there just so much to life? n other than all these responsibilities n. survival i suppose. in this society #i just want to live n. learn everything. understand as much as i can and be understood. #be at peace w all the contradictions in life.. 'always' is never possible but i do know i'll endlessly keep on going on until my end #sorry. that doesn't really make sense i just contradicted myself 💀 theres rlly just sm n. it's weird bcs.. i've rlly known extremes so well #like w apollo i have a twin i know how it is to have. such a deep and close relationship with another person. we're like #familial soulmates fr so ik how to direct my energy so.. yk yeah so IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN BUT #maybe a better comparison is. yk when i love something i'm super passionate about it. obvious i have phases here n then but #i have. a wide range of interests but. arghhh no not quite that as well. so.. the range n that intensity? coexisting? #n it's overwhelming often bcs it's too much. n in the past trying to do more than i could rlly drained me like. sm at the same time #but then yk that time for me where i mostly just played ffxiv. uh. help i don't know how to say it n then i forgot what i was gna write #ah. it's just a lot. i really can't write it enough. such is one of the limits of being human #but.. the strong thought i have of how these stuff make more important things more meaningful is just #at the same time there's. another thought that battles it w a similar intensity. n i feel too deeply i think too much of it #but if you were to ask me how i was doing right now i'd say. perhaps stressed yes but i'm doing alright right now. actually maybe not #HELP NO I'M NOT DOING THIS ANYMORE I'M CONFUSING MYSELF W MY OWN WORDS 😭 dw tho i am fine just rather frustrated with time #i want to do so much but yk i have these priorities that i need to do.. i mean. not really 'need'. but. #ah i just love thinking of how life is in relation to society n its people n then w. i forgot how to say it.. but yk. just the universe #it's so heavy thinking about these heavy things so often. the intense desire to understand n be understood.. #to learn and to be learned. or maybe these songs r making me think of how. there's just so much. in life n death n everything #there's so much i don't know n again n again i keep on saying that while there's so much i don't know in every single aspect #there's.. people that r specifically one of my greatest weaknesses w just how unpredictable we are. i love it though but at the same time #it's uh. yeah. thinking of time n the past n present n future n how it's filled with so much is something that i want to #i want to take all of it in but it's also so overwhelming n i'm just at odds with my own self rn but i'm fine #words aren't enough honestly. but i want to convey it somehow. so i'll do what is right for me. in time.

[dragon-spaghetti]

I'm ngl I don't. Really know what to do anymore

#drag rambles #vent #tw: vent #mostly in the tags so continue scrolling if ya don't wanna read ;v; /gen #i wanna start this off w that I will be fine #but like. yeah idk #feeling kinda hopeless and miserable lately #haven't been drawing even #no energy #no will #just. go to work. come home to do chores. go to bed. repeat cycle #just in general have been lost and hopeless as of recent #I'll be ok but. there's your explanation for the lack of ✨anything✨ as of recent #i will say I've been chatting more on Twitter than I have here so #if you want my random thoughts then go follow me over there ig?? #but yeah uh. life heh

[horngryeyes]

not gonna lie ive been feeling like an accomplished adventurer lately just doing my genshin dailies. the rush of dopamine i get when visiting katheryne in her adventurers guild stand and redeeming my rewards for performing tasks is crazy. and then after i do all my important tasks i even have some free time to walk around and loot some chests and stuff. god i wish i lived in genshin impact

#just doing my daily and exploring and at that point i usually get tired because the game is so immersive to me i get a little tensed up #and i use my laptop a lot so my eyes have a limit too #so i am. ignoring the storyline #the big anemo ball is soo annoying to fight without amber but also #i rolled xinyan and my friend told me that its better to level xinyan #and i have lvl 20 on her now. #and its not really worth to swap a lvl20 xinyan to a lvl7 amber just because she has ranged attacks yeah? #and like yeah shes mostly here to apply pyro and for the shield and like thats all #but also its a pain in the ass to not have a single ranged champion in my party #im not counting sucrose because her autoattacs arent really big dps against that annoying anemo ball #and i dont even know if i can try to hit it with the mage attacks like idk if i can aim them upwards #''mage'' i mean the book user. idk how its called #so the big ball is so annoying bc i can only hit it when its laying down #but at the same time i havent tried to fight it after leveling literally my whole party so #idk. gonna take a nap and maybe try to do it after i wake up #damn those tags are long. genshin rambling ig

[arolesbianism]

One thing that makes my life oh so hard is that I don't actually care for most of the popular dupes that much. I don't Not like them to be clear, I do like them, I just also feel like I'm staring at a color blind test whenever I see ppl talk abt their favorite dupes and everyone involved is obsessed with the same like 3 dupes that I just sort of like well enough and nothing more. Sorry women I don't actually care abt Bubbles that much 😔

#rat rambles #oni posting #this also applies to ari and pei Im sorry I do like them I just dont get the hype 😔 #I feel like Im the one guy sitting here with jean burt and quinn as its favorites #especially burt like no one gives a shit abt my poor boy #although tbf I didnt care too much abt him at first until I kept getting him as a part of my initial threes and he rapidly stole my heart #and jean stole my heart the millisecond I realized theyre nonbinary because we need more old nonbinary characters so bad #and quinn is another that mostly stole my heart from being one of my first three but they also are just delightful in general #tbc this isnt lore bias quinn and jean were both top favorites of mine before I found out their donors have lore #but yeah idk I guess I just expected more ppl to have random favorites based on their own gameplay experiences or smth #Im guessing the ari and bubbles love comes from the animations and for pei idk blue hair and pronouns or smth #yknow at least two of the three are not white with bubbles being a shrug #ty oni for not making all of the probably asian characters probably japanese #jean and ren are the two probably japanese characters to be clear #pei is probably chinese if Im remembering correctly? #good for her 👍 #I should rly do some background checking on everyones last names even if I probably wont learn that much from it #mostly because there's at least a couple of them that are named after like scientists and shit #and also last names aren't a perfectly consistent way of pinpointing ethnicity ofc #Im sure several of them have very white ass last names that arent white

[tequatls-favorite-spoon]

ok. i have been Thinking about onyx’s relationships. and i’m pretty decided now that she’s gonna be poly, mostly bc she works so well with so many characters, and also they all look so cute together <3 but now i’m trying to figure the like. timeline of things??? and hoo boy

i’ll make the full timeline in a separate post, but i’ll sum up stuff real quick here. onyx was in love with trahearne, tragically that didn’t work out cuz he died rip. she’s real sad for a while, so she ignores the beginnings of some feelings for braham and caithe. after kralk, she and canach have a brief and casual fling, and then onyx ends up falling for jayrim while hanging out in elona. they eventually have to split up, especially with onyx having to leave elona and jayrim wanting/having to stay. during ibs, onyx’s old crush on braham pretty much punches her in the face. when he becomes primordus’ champ, onyx is SUPER worried about him. when she finds him alive after the fight, she gets rly emotional, like telling him how much she cares about him and stuff. she knows her feelings are more than a lil crush now, but refrains from making a move bc braham needs some time to recover (both physically and emotionally). in eod, caith and onyx have some real cute moments as aurene’s moms, i think jayrim pops up again with the corsairs here, and i really like the idea of onyx asking out braham after the engagement party. the big issue now though, is that i feel like caithe and onyx should have started dating after onyx and jayrim dated, but before onyx has her big Feelings Epiphany with braham at the end of ibs. that basically just leaves me with ibs as the timeframe, which is rough bc i don’t think caithe shows up during ibs at all?

ok. so. i’ve thought of two options rn. one: onyx meets up with caithe after leaving elona, and that’s when they start dating. two: they spend time together in the eye of the north and end up dating

this got. really long lol. so my rambling is below the cut! ur welcome lol. also if u just wanna see what i ended up going with, i put a silly lil diagram at the bottom o7

option one works, but i feel like onyx would have left elona bc of the start of ibs? like she leaves because she has to go to the charr rally thing. i guess maybe she could’ve still had time to swing by the grove and hang out with caithe? but idk. i could just make up some other reason that onyx had to leave, like maybe her family or something? ok, that has some promise!

option two feels a bit more possible to me, but i’m also not super sure how much caithe was at eotn during ibs. also, there was a lot of war stuff happening so idk if they would’ve had time for dating?

ok i’m kinda leaning towards option one now… like, onyx gets contacted by her family that they need her to come back for like a wedding, or to celebrate an achievement of one of her siblings? one’s trying to be a minister, one’s in the seraph, and another one is a priest, so any one of them could have done something cool enough to warrant onyx going back to see them. (also i promise i didn’t forget jasper, around this point in time he’d too busy partying to do anything worth onyx coming home for lol) so with onyx going back, she says that while it’ll be a long time, she’ll come back to elona afterwards! or, if jayrim wanted to… she could come with? and jayrim tells her that this has been great, and she loves onyx and all, but she can’t stop being a corsair. and onyx can’t stop being the commander. either way, this isn’t gonna work out forever, so… maybe it’s best if they end it now. and so they agree to break up but they’re both sad about it :(

so then maybe onyx and caithe starts as a kind of rebound thing? like they run into each other, and start hanging out. and hm! she’s feeling some things! onyx thinks back to their talks together as they took care of bb aurene, and now that she thinks about it, she might have had some feelings for caithe at the time? and these current weird feelings feel a lot like those?? wait has she been kinda in love with caithe this whole time??? and then they start dating :3c

also, i think onyx and caithe would talk about braham during or after ibs? bc like, i want onyx to be kinda freaking out over her feelings for braham, but i don’t want her to be kind of cheating on caithe :/ so maybe they have a convo early on about like, possibly being a poly/open relationship? i could see onyx thinking about this since she just had that whole thing with jayrim, so maybe at the time she’d be kinda hoping to get back together someday? either way, i feel like caithe would be pretty open to it, cuz i’m sure sylvari aren’t that monogamous. i feel like caithe would just want onyx to run it by her before she adds somebody yknow? and she’d run it by onyx if she liked anyone! tho i don’t think she would? i think caithe wouldn’t really be looking for another partner. like, i think caithe would like a monogamous relationship, but she’s also ok with a poly one, especially if they keep up good communication and that onyx doesn’t like, forget about her or something. yeah. i think that the idea they’d have for their relationship at first is that caith would be dating onyx, who would also be dating braham, and then also jayrim. but then caithe and jayrim would start dating eventually too :)

OH ALSO!!! i could always add yao…. bc im Love Them. and i could see them dating onyx and braham… oohhhhhhh that’s so cuteeeee….. lol and then the polycule is two triangles, which is kinda fun!

ok tldr ig. the polycule is eventually gonna be this: caithe is dating jayrim and onyx, who are dating too, and onyx is also dating braham and yao, who also are dating too :3c here is a diagram

#regan rambles #long post #onyx velazquez #jayrim beastcharmer #caithe #braham eirsson #zhou yao #i think i’ll tag them with their full name?? #sure idk #i wonder if i should do that thing other ppl do where they have like a thing to mark their tags? #like tagging ‘c: caithe’ instead of just ‘caithe’ #anyway #yeah i originally had a tentative timeline here too #but that made this INSANELY long #and also i figured out roughly where i want onyx/caithe to go after i’d already typed up the whole timeline lol #so i wanna redo part of it anyway #so that’ll be a separate post ✌️ #kiiiinda hope this doesn’t just pop up in the canon character tags? #mostly cuz it’s so stupid long lol

[dinjoyer]

Just realized my last post here was like over a month ago AHAHAHAHjjdnfmfjfn

So the obligatory “where have I been?” post ensues. The truth is (I’m gonna try and keep this short and sweet I swear) I’m just not feeling DMC anymore. It’s been my special interest for a while, and I’ve met some amazing people here, so I don’t wanna drop everything without warning. Tumblr isn’t my biggest site by a long shot (mostly bc I forget it exists 💀) but it still feels wrong to just suddenly switch gears without explaining myself.

Uh.

So here’s where the hard part comes in. I won’t be posting DMC content anymore, and I’m totally okay if you unfollow me for that! Thank you for your love and support regardless. From now on, I’ll be posting Star Wars related stuff (as you could prolly gather from my pfp), so if that piques ur interest, great! I’d love to chat about it with you (particularly Thrawn and Mando related stuff).

If not, hope you enjoyed your stay at my silly little page :)

Let the Force be with you

Or

Whatever the DMC equivalent of that is JDJFH (UR MOTIVATED NOW WOOHOO)

#idk how to write these #it doesn’t rlly matter tbh I doubt more than 3 ppl will see this #but it still feels wrong to just switch stuff up without explanation #so yeah this is mostly for my comfort lol #i guess I should say some cringy dopey stuff here #but I’ll be honest a large reason I’m leaving this fandom is bc of the #not so great experiences I’ve had here #that’s not to say I don’t acknowledge the good here #bc there is plenty! #and I’m fortunate to have interacted with many of u lovely ppl #but also #14 year old me suffered enough here 💀 #(I know SW fans are worse but still. change of pace.) #woah that got rambly #ANYWAY if u see blue ppl on ur following page and ur confused #this is why #ahahahhaha okay bye