#idk i guess i've always held a lot of intellectual curiosity; this was very much given to me from a young age

[rubberbandballqueen]

*reading the wikipedia page on sartre and actively absorbing his philosophy while thinking abt how it’s affected western culture and how i can use some of his thoughts to relate to anime* what have i become

#now when i say i'm absorbing his philosophy i'm not saying i agree with it i'm just processing it #i just feel like. not necessarily pretentious but definitely like i'm trying to show off my intellect and education #this is so weird must an art piece's philosophy be researched before the art is created? i think not #but alongside synthesizing my own thoughts and beliefs i want to see and understand the other schools of thought too #idk i guess i've always held a lot of intellectual curiosity; this was very much given to me from a young age #i think i can get a little shy abt this bc not everyone's interested in these kinds of lofty abstract conversations #and it makes sense to be primarily concerned of the practical!!!!! that's what makes change in your life!!!! #so it feels rather bourgeoisie of me to enjoy sitting around and thinking 'what is emotion? feeling?' #answers to which like don't actually affect people #like to an extent yes bc then you can start arguing abt human responsibility and stuff but mostly just no #and also i think a lot of the times the conversations i wanna hold feel like they require a very robust education to understand? #so again it feels pretentious and bourgeoisie of me but idk i think this is also why i wanna be an educator #or at least part of it. i want people to understand more things so i can hold these kinds of conversations with more people #the worm speaks