#idk i cope with writing poetry

[iceeericeee]

We Could Have Been Us

(This is all written from memory so sorry if I miss some stuff)

(Written from Crowley’s pov)

I needed to tell you something

but you had to go first

And so I let you

That was a mistake

You said you had good news

that you were promoted

You could be in charge

As supreme archangel

And, to put the cherry on top

You could have anyone

as your second in command

And you had chosen me

I couldn’t believe you, at first

After all, we’re better than that

You are better than that

But it was true

I could see the excitement

Slip away from your eyes

When you realized that

I wouldn’t go with you

And before I knew it

I was rushing to say

what I had wanted to say

from the very beginning

How we have known each other

for a long time

How we could always

rely on each other

We have always been

a team

A group

of the two of us

I tried to convince you to stay

Because we don’t need heaven

And we don’t need hell

All we ever needed was us

I tell you so, and all you do

is reiterate your wonderful plan

The plan where we’re both angels

Doing good together in heaven

I’m choking back tears

And I say, “You can’t leave

this bookshop”

‘You can’t leave me’

And with such a kind,

tender voice, you say,

“Oh Crowley,

Nothing lasts forever.”

‘Nothing lasts forever,

Not this bookshop

Not you

And certainly not us’

I feel my heart break

as I slip my sunglasses on

And walk away,

bidding you good luck

As you beg me to stop

I tell you to listen

And you admit that

you can’t hear anything

“That’s the point” I say

“No nightingales”

At that, you seem to understand

What I’m implying

I called you an idiot

That this whole time

We could have been

Us

I get an idea

It’s a last ditch effort

But at this point

Anything will do

I rush back to you

grab you by the collar

pull you close

and kiss you

And when we pull apart

I look you in the eyes

Desperately trying to see

A change of heart

But instead I see you

steeling your nerves

And you tell me

you forgive me

But I don’t need

Your forgiveness

All I ever needed

was you

So don’t bother

trying to forgive me

Don’t bother

forgiving a demon

But I wait by my car, just in case

You happen to change your mind

But all I see is you leaving

Choosing heaven over me

I climb into the Bentley

And turn on the radio

It doesn’t do to much good

It’s playing our song

So I turn it back off

And lean back on the seat

And I think to myself

‘We could have been us.’

[and since you guys asked to be tagged: @janeway-lover @helphowdoiusethis]

#yeah uh idk if it’s super good or what #but yeah that exists now #this is how I cope btw #writing sad poetry #good omens #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable divorce #good omens season 2 #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #good omens 2 #good omens spoilers #the last fifteen minutes #my writing #poem #poems #poetry

[neurodiversebones]

would anyone be interested in fic which explores the brennan ed headcanons i have ?

#struggling heavily with my ed right now and i should probably cope somehow #because i haven't written good poetry in over a month and writing is the only way i process #but . idk . if nobody wants to read it idk if i'll write it

[ilovethemoonnnn]

a friendly face

i left so many people in a hurry and in bad shape

you cant blame me for wanting to see a friendly face

every time i took a stroll on memory lane i always saw unpleasant emotions 

but now ill see you and its kind of sad knowing

that all thats left is our memories 

and i know it’s because of me

things just didn’t pan out in the same place

but now i know when i look back i’ll see a friendly face

#poetry #im sorry #i didnt mean to do this #creative writing #writing #my poetry #poetic #poet #writers and poets #making the best of it #this is me trying #im trying #coping #i apologize #i wish you well #aesthetic #aesthetic poetry #idk what tags to use

[flumphulous]

#this is mine btw #i wrote this at 2am #but anyways yes #answer? yes. answer to what? uhh idk????? #delete.later #flumph writes #poetry #yeah i'm trying to cope rn shh just enjoy

[tirzahstears]

god could tell me that i’ve been good, i’ve been so very good, i've been an angel on earth. god could tell me i was light itself and i would spit in his fucking face if it would make you want me.

i don’t deserve you. i’ve never had friends. i’ve never had this. i’ve never been good. i should fold up my blood soaked hands and pray to deserve this. to deserve just a little bit of this. i should take the dirt and the blood filling my mouth as a gift, swallow it down like dry gravel, swallow it down like the tequila and grapefruit soda that i drank in your bedroom so you’d think that i was cool. swallow it down like a punch to the face, thank god for letting me be touched in the first place.

i should bleed for you. i should bleed for you. i should be good. i should deserve you. i should leave. tell everyone what you did, what you said to me. i should bleed out on my knees and ask for forgiveness. please forgive me for existing. please forgive me for being alive. i’m sorry. i’m sorry. these hands could do better. they will keep doing worse.

#leaving two toxic friendships of 8 and 6 years respectively 🥰 i am not coping #idk . this seems a little too catholic-guilt-y for my jewish ass but you know how it is ! #tw blood #poetry #words #spilled ink #my writing #on loneliness #on religion #on forgiveness #on grief #on loss #tw alcohol mention

[litany-writes]

#litany-writes-poetry #poetry #this is actually one my favorite things i've ever written #it really characterizes like. just being a teenager idk #if you've been lucky enough to have lived a relatively normal life before hitting your teens then the bad things that happen to you #while in retrospect were not so terrible #are at the moment some of the worst things you've ever experienced #and being a teenager is just like. that. over and over again until you get used to it and then you're an Adult #and you have Perspective and Experience #ppl are all like “ohhhh teenagers are so moody and depressed and whiny” and like yes that's true but consider: #the only reason you're any better is bc you've been there! #your first breakup the first death in your family the first fight you have with your best friend whatever it is! #that's the worst thing that's ever happened to you. and you don't know what youre supposed to do #but you have school tomorrow. so you find ways to cope and then next time it's not as much end of the world as it is just normal bad #and so on etc #didn't mean to ramble that much but i suppose i had things to say

[sadgirlsandboys]

broken alliance

you woulndt think

the one that claims to understand

the lonlieness

the anxiety

the fear

to be the same

 to grow an ego

and invite you to sit because

“you look sad”

he says it

with humour in his voice

like its a joke

and his friends life

and you laugh

because what are you supposed to do?

why would you put me in that position?

I was nice to you

I listened to you when their voice was louder than yours

you said

“this is why I have to yell”

I laughed at your jokes

when they told you to be quiet

I thought we understood each other?

do you not remember 

when people said that to you?

do you not remember

how those jokes made you feel?

don’t you rememer the fake laugh?

don’t you remember the clench in your stomach?

don’t you remember the heat in your eyes?

the hurt in your throat?

the shaking of your hands?

the shame in your chest?

please dont make me feel this way

#betrayed #lmao #im sad #and #lonley #writing #textpost #i wanna go home #college #i could be doing worse things to cope #instead of writing shitty #poetry #on tumblr #is this even poetry #idk

[ardeitankor]

Everybody has a secret world inside of them. I mean everybody. All of the people in the whole world, I mean everybody -- no matter how dull and boring they are on the outside. Inside them they've all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds... Not just one world. Hundreds of them. Thousands, maybe.

- Neil Gaiman, A Game of You

#writing #quotes #neil gaiman #books #poetry #moodboard #aesthetic #new account #first post #i love poetry #creative writing #art #dark academia #aesthetic vibes #vibing #idk what im doing #coping mechanism

[treetimesthree]

saturday

The first time I spent time with you alone, I could barely look at you. You, splayed across my dorm couch. Me, sat on the floor in front of you. My hair would brush your thigh if I looked back at you, and the sensation made my heart beat so hard I feared you would hear it. That night I pressed my lips together harder than I ever have before, afraid a confession would fall from them faster than I could stop it. I failed miserably, and I still remember the feeling of your thigh pressed against the back of my head as I looked up at the stars in your eyes and the most beautiful smile I have ever seen.

On our first date, I was so nervous I kept a checklist of important questions on my phone. Each question asked in time with the hammering of my heart, the flutter in my stomach, the breathlessness in my voice. Your favorite color, favorite artist, favorite flower. I wrote the answers down just in case, but I knew I wouldn't need them; I knew if it was you, I would never forget (I still can't look at bright pink roses).

I asked someone what their favorite color was recently. The words tasted like sand on my lips. I don't remember their answer. And I didn't write it down.

#i miss her #letters i'll never send #shitty poetry #actually idk if this counts as poetry #shitty writing then #healthy coping mechanisms? never heard of em #heartbreak

[notpoet06]

The skies colors seemed to all blur together and mix into a weird pastel shade of everything all at once as I stared at the sky. There was nothing left for me to do; I’d exhausted every last purpose that I could find. Everything I’d once wanted had been given to me. That wasn’t true. Everything I could have while forgetting my truth was what I got. But I’d offered the world all of it, and there was no need for me anymore. So here I lie, staring at the sky. I don’t know what I really am. Or at least, I pretend I don’t know, because to remember would be the worst crime of all.

The white cotton candy I see above may have once appeared as that majestic feline I once obsessed over. Yes, I remember that one. It was the tiger. It was strong creature; the animal was beautiful, too. I found inspiration to be something more there. I thought I could be just as loved.

But the tiger is not loved. I did, sure, but it is viewed as a monster. They’re dying out. Few see the tiger as I did, and when I realized I could be the tiger, I realized exactly how others see the tiger.

They see the tiger as a threat. They see it as something to hate. And though I had not revealed my stripes quite yet, I understood that the tiger was not something I should be. But it was too late. I have to hide my stripes now. I cannot erase them. I can only forget that they are there.

So to forget I had thrown myself all over every task. I would be ignorant to every other tiger, and pretend that I did not have the hunger of one. I would see that I seemed “normal” and that everyone thought I was human. But it was a lie, I lived a lie. And now I cannot lie, because my mind is only here and I cannot ignore my stripes. They itch, I’ve neglected them so long. I cannot be human, I never was, but I cannot be a tiger if I want to be loved. Why is this so hard? Why can’t I be one or the other? Why do I have to be split between sides?

I’ve tried being human. I did, I tried for so long. But if I reveal my stripes, I cannot be sure that I’ll find another tiger or even a human to love me. So instead I’ll keep pretending. I’ll keep forgetting. But if the cloud tiger ever asks me to join it, I wouldn’t think twice.

#life #tiger #metaphors #allegory #I don’t actually know what allegory means guys #bi #bisexual #lgbt #questionable writing #writblr #creative writing #prose #prose poetry #clouds #coping mechanism #coping #lol #idk #writing #poetry

[relnicht]

need to reread swimming in the dark. i think i bought it as an ebook around christmas last year because i wanted to read it and couldn't find it in the shops, but I don't remember anything about it because I don't have the physical book so I didn't have a physical reminder of it and i think i must have read it in 1-3 days. i think i liked it idk. i like stories set in summer and nature

#going to my parents for 3 weeks tomorrow and i always go a little insane bc i haven't come to terms with my (admittedly very good) childhood #and (more mentally complicated) teenagehood yet lol #also like it just feels like such a cishet space for me because i never really allowed myself to be out when i was there #and i can't talk about gay stuff with my family and they see me as a cishet woman (who maybe wants to be a boy) which is also upsetting #it just feels a little idk suffocating or like.. there's an oppressive atmosphere idk #and i don't really have friends in my home town anymore and i moved out after high school so everyone just knows me for who i was #and not who i am now idk #so like it's lonely but also everyone who i do interact with just sees in me the ghost of who i never was or who i tried to be #will write some sad poetry and short stories to cope with this lol #and read queer books and watch gay films

[learn-to-be-alive]

The other day my mom told me I was “handling things well” and “I didn’t seem all that upset”for some reason that upset me, I couldn’t figure out why though. Today I figured it out.

Just because you don’t see when I’m in pain does not mean I do not feel it, just because you don’t see me cry, does not mean that I haven’t . It hurt for her to think that I was instantly fine. Because I’m not fine, I just process differently than others do, I don’t cry for a few weeks and then I’m fine, I might not cry for months but then I’ll see something that makes me think of them and I see my whole relationship with that person replayed in my head and I miss it bitterly .

Grief for me is not linear, and I think that we need to be kinder to ourselves. Give yourself permission to feel, to feel the love, joy, pain and sadness. Feel, even if it’s just for a moment.

Acknowledge it. Name it. Say yes, I did lose something, and it is ok to be upset over loosing it. Life goes on but how we respond determines whether we grow from an experience or not.

-Love

#coping with grief #frienship #love #writing #sort of poetry #fall #idk what to tag this as #self help #help i dont know what im doing

[consistantscreaming]

tonight i looked up at the stars

i was supposed to be going to bed,

school beginning early tomorrow,

but a friend texts me and says that the stars are out tonight

i went out onto the roof outside my bedroom window

and i looked up

when i looked up, i felt a wave of existential dread come over me

the stars, though much more visible tonight,

were still obscured by light pollution

and i began to spiral

i have always struggled with the idea that the moment that you are in now

is always and forever the past

and looking up at the stars tonight, i felt that all too familiar fear

and dread

and hopelessness and despair and it began to overwhelm me

and so i went inside

i went downstairs

and i told my dad how nice the stars were tonight

#typed this on my roof #idk if anyone else can relate #but i wanted to write it for myself anyway #also for anyone who may be concerned me and my did did in fact then talk about how the stars make me feel and why however #i think that the message of the poem that i was trying to convey works best when left at that #also #in the past i have scoffed at people who told me that writing about my feelings helps to process them #as well as people who said that they write poetry as a coping mechanism #and this is my formal apology bc wow i genuinely feel so much better than i would have if i'd used my usual coping method #which is ofc distracting myself until the Feelings have gone away

[mazeinthemiroh]

hey!! idk if you’ve already done this but could u do something like skz as ex’s? cause i think chan would be the type of ex to be friends after the break up (unless you’ve done something really bad) and i’d like to know how you think the other members would be

- 🦭

stray kids as ex boyfriends

genre: headcanon; hurt, angst

word count: 1.3k

warnings: cursing, jeongin's hurt the most (gotta warn yall <///3 )

thank you for requesting! please like and reblog if you enjoy <3

bangchan

the friendly one

this is purely depending on circumstance because if you hurt him or any of his members in any way he's literally cutting you off and out of his life

but that is if the situation is severe

most of the time he likes ending on good, mutual terms if possible. he knows things aren't going to be completely the same or aren't going to be particularly smooth but he's willing to work past that

especially if you have been a good friend before dating each other

so he will make an effort to talk to you at social events if you're in the same friendship group. just a casual catch-up to see how you are doing

it might be hard seeing you without being able to be the same touchy, loving way he's used to. he feels he has to hold himself back quite a lot

i can see him being hurt if you have moved on and are in another relationship and he isn't

minho

the messy one

feelings are... complicated

and minho is too

he's a very intricately formed human being, filled with unpredictabilities and chaos, good and bad.

minho as an ex can be messy. you'll see him sometimes during social gatherings; he will avoid you most of the time, but occasionally interact with you as if you're his best friend

he'll be sarcastic and make snide remarks with that shit-eating grin on his face

sometimes he'll lure you back into his life, his heart

other times he wants to forget he's even known you

you guys are on and off and on again. the wannabe ross and rachel, if you will

but all of the craziness boils down to the fact that he misses you, more than he expected

and the only way to fill the hole in his heart that you left him is by chasing what you had together

changbin

the self-improvement one

changbin tries to move on as quickly as possible

he thinks it's healthier that way: no point in dwelling in the past when he knew he wasn't going to turn back to you

he needed to put the past behind him and focus on himself

which means a lot more working out, more than he had ever done before

eating healthier, going out more and with different people, making sure he had enough rest

his friends were worried, at first, that he would over-do it, perhaps burning himself out in order to deflect the feelings of loss you left him

but he's never felt better as he looks ahead rather than dwelling on what once was

still, there are moments, perhaps when he is alone, where he catches himself missing you. your laugh, your smile, your body to hold at night. yeah, he missed that a lot...

hyunjin

the one who's still in love

it would be hard for hyunjin to move on

whether you hurt him, or he hurt you, or you both end on good circumstances, he's not ready to leave you

life without you? well, up until now he hasn't even begun to imagine life without you. and why should he? he thought you'd be together forever

so now he's devastated, trying to forget you when really you never left his mind

oh and he'd write poetry about. lots and lots of poems about the heartbreak and the longing and everything in between. he's a wistful guy, and it's a way of coping with the loss of you

but it's not very... 'coping' of him. coping would require him slowly but surely moving on

but he doesn't do that

no. instead, he holds on to the memory of you and what could've been.

jisung

the one who keeps coming back

he knows he shouldn't, but he can't help it

oh he tries, but soon he finds himself staring at your number on his phone screen, tempted to drop you a text or even, at times, call you

it's weird. he thought he'd be fine after the breakup. he thought he would be able to have his moment to grieve and then move on

but if that was the case... why was he still thinking about you?

that's a question that tortured his mind to no end because he had absolutely no answer for it

he couldn't like deeper inside himself to realise he still, ultimately, has feelings for you

and so he always ends up coming back into your life, usually by accident

he calls it manifesting but is it really manifesting if its at the worst moments?

like when he bumped into at the supermarket, running on 0 hrs of sleep with eye bags bigger than his eyes. yeah, that wasn't a good day

but any chance he runs into you, there is a flicker of hope you could end up back together with him. so he will take all the chances life throws at him

felix

the sensitive one

similar to hyunjin only, perhaps, less severe

he cries over you often

and everything seems to remind him of you

sometimes he is okay. sometimes he is really okay. perhaps too okay. the members would look at him in surprise as he woke up one day, bubbly as ever. it's as if he hasn't been crying the whole week at all. nope. he's a new man now. and when he looks in the mirror, he gives himself a smile and a nod. "today is a new day and i'm happy."

and then a small thing will set him off all over again

perhaps he will find one of your hoodies that you lent him one night when he was cold. and he kept it because it smelt like you

but now, seeing this makes all his newfound positivity dissolve instantly. soon, he was grabbing the material of your hoodie and stuffing his face into it, sobbing his heart out

seungmin

the nonchalant one

he's the definition of unbothered

of course, it hurt at first to have to leave you, but it will all depend on the circumstances of the breakup

if you guys left each other on bad terms, he'd be a lot more bitter about it. he will most likely ignore you and make every attempt not to run into you because he just doesn't need that in his life

but if you guys are on good terms he is more likely to get over it quicker. that way, he isn't dwelling on the bad feelings and being wrapped up in his own negativity

rather, he has left that all behind and tried to be productive, focusing on himself

that way, if he happens to run into you again, he would probably feel indifferent

there is a sparkle of feeling that he misses. the feeling of familiarity that only you bring

but he hopes that most of his feelings are long gone noe

jeongin

the one that wants to forget

perhaps you were his first love

perhaps he thought that you'd end up together, forever

and ever

and ever.

perhaps he was a bit naive when it came to his approach to his relationship with you. he knew he shouldn't be thinking in such a rose-coloured, idealistic romantic way. he didn't think he'd feel like that at all. but you made his life infinitely better

and now you're gone. how is he supposed to cope?

he just wants to forget everything. forget his life with you. because if you weren't in his life anymore, what was the point?

its painful to reminisce so he makes a conscious effort not to dwell on the past

because once he does, he loses himself. the tears start to brim and flow down his cheek

if he didn't remember such happier times, it wouldn't be this hard

skz taglist: @hearts4sungie, @seokshineswiftie, @alyszaen, @jtrstp, @a-wandering-stay, @hyungenie5

#stray kids #skz #kpop #stray kids headcanons #skz headcanons #stray kids reactions #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #skz scenarios #skz imagines #skz angst #stray kids angst #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop headcanons #bangchan #bang chan #chan #seo changbin #changbin #kim seungmin #seungmin #jeongin #yang jeongin #lee felix #felix #han jisung #han #hyunjin #hwang hyunjin

[the-night-that-feeds-if]

Author Lore, get to know me a bit.

So since I have a bunch of new people following my blog, I decided to make a lil lore post about meeee. (Partly cos idk how to make a fancy tumblr page with the whole beautifulness that would have a specific place for something like this)

So, hi. I'm Vayle, I'm turning 25 on the 23rd of this month, I go by he/they. You can use either, both at the same time, or whatever mix.

I'm an artist, I draw, paint, sculpt, do photography, stamp making, crotchet, writing--fiction and poetry, paint making, experimental music shit. I love doing everything. Art is everything.

I decided to write an interactive fiction game because I have been struggling from mental illness for like... Ever lol, and an emergency surgery I had to get last year that kinda derailed everything.

Reading IF games seriously helped me cope with my crohns disease and surgery, and now following AND being followed back by authors I read while recovering is so incredible. Like holy shit. You are all incredible.

Starting this story has been one of the best decisions I've ever made.

And now some light happy stuff:

I typically shoot digital pics but I have a polaroid and someday I'll have my own darkroom to develop my sureshot camera photos.

I love RPG games and I love DnD.

I love most music but prefer alternative of different genres and sub genres.

I have so many clothing styles, I LOVE fashion and I love outfit building, and makeup!

I haven't been very mobile lately but I used to longboard and really enjoyed that.

I love cooking! But I kinda suck at baking lol.

- Don't be afraid to ask me any personal asks about me, or my life. I'm always happy to answer asks.

#personal #not if related #author lore

[poetic-beats]

Sometimes when I come back to this blog it just makes me cringe. Mostly because whenever I’m manic I start a ton of new projects whether its crappy art, jumping around to different sites for my poetry that I eventually ditch, different business ideas that I start but never finish, bad poetry I have written things I like but there’s also just bad poetry that served a purpose for me to vent but objectively is bad. It’s also a very open book of the events and stages I’ve gone through and some of you have followed me from the beginning and I just cringe at the thought of what it must look like seeing my erratic postings. And it’s a monument to all of my sadness and trauma and struggles and I don’t find that a bad thing though I guess because writing was helpful and I’m not ashamed of what I’ve struggled with but damn this blog was almost as much of a mess as my mind. Life has changed so much in the 7 years since I started this blog, I’m 30 now which is scary to be so old ( I know 30 isn’t actually old old but in context of where I am in my life) and yet feel like I’m so behind in adulting. It’s like when I hit 30 in my mind it changed you know until I hit that number I was still in my 20’s even if it was 29 it felt like okay I’m not an ‘adult’ adult yet so it’s fine my shits not together but its like okay I’ve hit 30 now I should’ve started checking some boxes off the list and whilst some things have improved I still have a long way to go. I’m in therapy now I managed to start early last year privately ofc because NHS sucks ass. Luckily she’s good about pricing clearly not in it for the money; was my old MH teams lead therapist before she quit didn’t know she’d gone private, found her by dumb luck. She’s really good & it’s already helped me so much. I managed to acquire a few new diagnoses at the end of last year not a surprise though nothing new or unexpected as such but sometimes does feel like it’s a never ending list. Oh I got a second cat!!! His names Shrimp and he’s adorable. Bagel loves him I’ll have to post a picture of them both at some point and after having not written/barely written anything for awhile I recently started writing poetry again. Not sure why I slowed down/stopped I guess things got really busy & I managed/coped in different ways I also just kinda lost it like I had a mental block when I did try writing. Anyways so I wrote some new stuff recently sadly it’s not exactly happy it’s more of a throwback to when I first started this blog, writing as a way to cope in the moment when emotions were too much, to sort of purge it from my mind. I’ve had some difficult things to deal with and it’s been a lot so being able to write again is bittersweet. I also can’t vouch for its quality but hey it helped me cope so does it really matter, guess not. Anyways idk that’s enough rambling from me now don’t know why I wrote this out on here I mean my blogs mostly dead apart from these random check ins I do where I give these life update posts which I”m not sure anyone even cares to read because this blog is so inactive now but here I am doing it anyways.

#erin talks #prsnl #long post #not poetry #life update