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#idk how Its possible that everyone apparently has a friend group or a partner or at least experience dating and does stuff all the time
sam-xaviel · 3 years
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just me, her (the pandemic) and the overwhelming feeling of loneliness accompanied by a sense that this condition will last forever and change wont come because all that you are is not enough to bring it into existence in this chilli’s tonight
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Drew//Redo
Request: Drew x plus size maybe on set he’s introducing her and she gets kinda anxious and like runs to his trailer or soemthing while he’s not looking and he finds her kinda panicking or idkkk
Request: Could you maybe do a drew tanner x plus size where he helps her with anxiety like maybe meeting people on set or at a party or soemthing idk if you have any like this
You’d met his family, you met his friends, you’d even met his neighbour’s, sister’s cousin. But today you were meeting possibly the scariest group of people. His co-stars. Not just his co-stars, but they were also his friends and family all in one.
You and Drew had only been together for a few months after meeting in a coffee shop, a few days ago he’d brought up meeting his Riverdale family and to say you were overwhelmed was an understatement. There were so many of them, and they all knew every single thing about each other. Drew spent a lot of time with them, sometimes he would see them more than you, so they were definitely important to him, and you definitely didn’t want to mess it up for him. He had been so excited about you meeting them, apparently he had been talking you up to them, which never ends well because everyone’s always disappointed because they aren’t as good as they hyped to be. 
Plus it didn’t help that you didn’t look like everyone’s partners. They were all thin and pretty, and even though Drew told you every single chance he got that you were perfect the way you were, when you were in scary social situations like this, all of those compliments went out the window. They were instead replaced by thoughts about how you wouldn’t fit in, they would judge you because you didn’t look like them, they would tell Drew that he could so much better and how the anxiety bubbling inside you would make you implode right in front of them.
“Y/n?” Drew asked you and you smiled awkwardly at him. “You okay? You kinda spaced out?” 
“Fine.” You lied. “Just a little anxious.” 
“They’re gonna love you.” He reassured you and squeezed your hand tightly. 
“Yeah, love.” You mumbled nervously and he led you through a door. 
“Hey guys!” He announced his presence to the group of people sat down and you started to feel dizzy. There were so many of them. You knew how many people worked on Riverdale, you just didn’t expect them all to be in one room. Shouldn’t at least a few of them be doing their job? Why are they all here? Oh God, now they’re all looking at you because you haven’t said anything, you’re just standing there. Do something! Anything! 
“Hi.” You said quietly and they all smiled at you. Okay, they seem friendly, wait they’re standing and approaching. Is it getting warmer in here? Are the walls closing in? 
“Wow, you weren’t lying when you said you had a girlfriend Drew.” A man you think was Jordan teased and Drew rolled his eyes. 
“I haven’t lied about having a girlfriend since I was in high school.” He retorted and everyone laughed. 
“We all know that isn’t true.” Vanessa replied. “Has he told you that story?” She turned her attention to you and you shook your head, squeezing Drew’s hand. He sensed your nerves and squeezed back, as well as drawing his thumb over your hand a few times. “You’re gonna love it.” 
“But, onto more important things. Everyone this is Y/n, my girlfriend.” 
“We know.” They all replied at once, making you laugh slightly. Okay, maybe this isn’t gonna be so bad.
“You’ve told us so much about her we don’t need to ask her anything.” Madelaine rolled her eyes. 
“But that isn’t gonna stop us.” Camila added. 
“How long have you been dating?” 
“Do you love him?” 
“Have you thought of marriage?” 
“What do you see in him?” 
“Have you met his family?”
The questions just kept coming, before you could answer one another five was being asked and they all seemed to be getting closer to you, like they were surrounding you. This was too much. All of it was too much, you couldn’t breathe, they were asking too many questions that they were starting to blur into each other and you could have sworn a few of them looked you up and down when you walked in. Yep, it was official, you boyfriends friends didn’t like you, they thought you were too big for them, thats why they were asking all of these questions, they were trying to scare you off so he could be with someone prettier and thinner. Well, its worked. 
“I’m sorry.” You said quietly before pushing passed them all. 
“Y/n?” Drew called after you but you moved quicker. The tears in your eyes blurred your vision but you continued to walk. Moving faster the more they called after you. You’d fucked it up. 
You walked far enough so that you couldn’t hear them shouting after you, however you didn’t really know where you were. All you could see was trailers for crew and cast. Weighing up your options you decided to just stay where you were and think for a moment. 
“Y/n!” Drew shouted and you tried to hide further. “Y/n!” He continued before he turned the corner and saw you stood behind one of the trailers. “Are you okay?” He asked as you approached you and you shook your head quickly. “Of course you’re not, you’re hiding behind a trailer crying.” He muttered to himself and stood beside you. “Honestly its a good idea you didn’t go in to this one. It belongs to KJ so you had a lucky escape.” He tried to lighten your mood and you forced a smile. “Whats up?” He asked softly. “You were doing great.” He continued and wrapped an arm around your shoulder. You buried your head into his chest and sobbed softly. 
“They were asking me too many questions and I got overwhelmed.” You said between sobs and he pulled you close. 
“Its okay baby.” 
“And they were judging me. I knew they wouldn’t like me-” 
“Wait.” He interrupted you and you pulled away from him. “Why wouldn’t they like you?” 
“Well, because I don’t exactly look like their partners.” 
“I know, that’d be a bit weird.” 
“I mean I’m not skinny like their partners, or them for that matter. I don’t fit in.” You sighed. 
“I don’t care what ‘size’ you are, and neither do they. They don’t care, just as long as you like me, thats all they’re worried about. And thats all I’m worried about. You could be the size of a three houses and I would still love you.” 
“You love me?” You interrupted and a blush crept up his neck. 
“I errr, yeah?” 
“Are you sure about that?” You teased, a soft smile appearing on your face. 
“Definitely.” 
“I love you too.” You replied and he kissed you softly. “I still fucked everything up.” 
“You didn’t.” 
“I did. I’ve been nervous since you suggested meeting them and then I started to think more and more and that made my anxiety even worse until my head was just a big ball of anxiety making the next thought even more ridiculous than the last. They’re gonna think I’m stupid.”  
“They’re not gonna think you’re stupid. They understand, a few, if not most of them suffer with anxiety to a certain extent, they’ll understand what happened.” 
“I’m sorry.” You sighed. 
“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for baby.” He kissed your forehead and dried the rest of your tears. 
‘we love her. she’s perfect for you. if she wants to have a re-do we’ll calm down. we just got a bit over excited that you actually had a girlfriend’ Drew’s phone buzzed and the two of you read the text Vanessa had sent. 
“See?” He said and you nodded slightly. “Do you wanna try again?” 
“Yeah.” You replied with a smile before kissing him sweetly. 
“Lets go.” He grabbed your hand and lead you back to they building everyone was in. “Guys, this is my girlfriend, Y/n.” 
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marculees · 6 years
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Soft Bias Tag <3
Tagged by the lovely @pikachulein, thank you! ^-^
Prepare for soft cringe. So because I’m selfish and lowkey narcissistic hahaha, I kinda have two so this is going to be a 2-in-1 yay. I haven’t even started yet and I’m already laughing?? Anyway lets go~
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1. Who is my Bias?
💛 Jackson Wang
💜 Mark Lee
2. What made you notice him?
💛 His laugh, sense of humor and energy! It was contagious and I couldn’t help just OwO at him in every video lololol
💜 Lmao we have the exact same birthday so I was like omg yes finally someone I can relate to. So I looked up his profile and noticed we were basically the same person and was shook O.o
3. What’s your favorite thing about him?
💛 His heart of gold (aha get the emoji reference yeeeah i did that).He’s honestly such a kind and generous person and sjkglsgfdkjf he makes me cry. Like when I see him helping others or taking care of his members or his family especially, my heart skips a beat. He’s my ideal type tbh, as cringey as that sounds. Here’s an excerpt from a letter to my bias thing I have in my drafts cx
“Ideal types may be just a charade to some, but ultimately you are everything I want in a partner. Your kindness and generosity is one of my favourite things about you and is hugely underappreciated by others. How you always go out of your way to help others, be it strangers or loved ones, is so inspiring. You truly have a heart of gold and I feel like it isn’t said enough. Yes, you are fucking gorgeous and a huge idiot but its the kind soul underneath that I love most.”
💜 That he makes me feel more confident and loving towards myself <3
“I’ve always been the black sheep, odd one out, and I still struggle with finding others I can relate to. When I was in school I was friendly with everyone but with my friends I wasn’t really considered part of the group. I didn’t fit.  I was an afterthought, an outsider. I’m in college now and while I do feel a sense of belonging with my new friends, with you I feel not just that but a sense of understanding, a sense of empathy NCT 2018. Since the very first day, I settled on biasing you for these probably selfish reasons alone. I was a kid back then, we both were. And now that we are barely considered adults, I am still following you. But my initial fascination has become much deeper than just that. The more I’ve fallen in love with you, the more I’ve begun to love myself also. You show and teach me things I’ve discredited or put down about about myself. The more interest I showed in you and your group, the more similar I realised we are. From our attitude, ethic, gestures, sense of humor and way of speaking, it became apparent to me that I had finally found someone. Someone who makes me feel like it’s okay to be who I am, because I am not alone. What I perceived as flaws in myself, I saw as endearing in you.”
*pukes from cringe at myself* I am never going to post the full thing
4. Who would initiate skinship more?
💛 HIM WITHOUT A DOUBT. He’s a touchy baby. Tbh it would probably piss me off slightly, like I’m just being honest ahaha. I don’t mind people touching my thigh or my arm for a second but he’s the type to just touch and then stay there lol
💜 Him too, I think. I’ve noticed he’s become a bit more touchy with the members recently! I’m not very touchy but if someone is more chill about it and doesn’t feel like its necessary or has to be like all the fucking time, then I’m more inclined to actually engage in it surprise surprise.
5. Who would hog the blankets more?
💛 I would say him but then I remember him saying he gets really hot at night (it was in one of those GOT2Days with JB lol). I get hot too so he can hog them if he wants cx
💜 He’s pretty chill, like so long as he has his pillow to hug then I don’t think he would mind much. I would insist on covering him up still though. I’m not a hogger at all, in fact usually I end up with literally half/no blanket in the morning because I’ve kicked it off at some point
6. Who would be more clingy?
💛 HIM. I honestly don’t think I need to explain XD
💜 Oooh tough question. I feel like it could be him? I would be more clingy on the inside, if that makes sense?
7. Who would say I love you first?
💛 I think it would be me but just as like a casual thing like, “Ahh you’re lucky I love you”. But he would take it serious and be like “...I love you too”. And then I’d get all giggly and embarrassed because that’s all I ever do T-T
💜 Maybe me? Idk like it would a kind of ‘in the moment’ thing? I’d be thinking it but I wouldn’t say it until I realised I actually had. I’ve done this before ;-;
8. Who would be more easily flustered?
💛 Me!!!! I bet that would be his favourite thing to do too. He’s such a little shit like he’d be all “Aww is someone all blushy?” and then make me even worse and kjdsgfldfmdsfg I would lowkey enjoy it tbh XD
💜 I think him actually! I wouldn’t be over-the-top romantic or cheesy so if I ever did something, it would catch him by surprise and make him uwu haha. I’m not the best at speaking my thoughts but I would write lots of poems and songs for him and I think that would make him get all flustered since he likes writing too c:
9. What cuddling position would you two have?
💛 Aww I honestly love backhugs so anything where I could just wrap my arms around him and lie against his back. The big spoon! But I feel like he would give the best hugs so like sitting in his lap with his arms around me and djkfhdjfhj fuck this shit I’m out T-T
💜 We’re both quite childish and awkward when it comes to cuddling so I feel like it would be just playwrestling and then forgetting that we’re supposed to wrestle so we just lie in a big tangle on top of each other ;-;
10. Which colors remind you of them and why?
💛 Yellow because his blonde hair is beautiful, plus he’s so bright and cheerful like the colour itself  ^-^
💜 Pink! He looks adorable in pink plus he’s mentioned the colour a few times on broadcasts and stuff so I feel like he has a fondness for it~
11. Which season would you like to spend with them?
💛 Summer because he’s probably be sleeveless all the time or even shirtless... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I have no shame ahahaha
💜 Winter because I think if it was snowing, it would remind him of his home and then it would be cute af and we’d have a snowball fight and hot chocolate after <3
12. Who would bake the cookies and who would steal the batter?
💛 Tbh we’d bake and steal it together XD
💜 I think he would try so hard not to fuck the baking up but I’d tempt him into stealing the batter with me cx
13. Which one of you would make bad puns and how would the other react?
💛 Ohhh definitely me. And he’d either scream with laughter or just get pissed off oops. I’d just laugh even more though lmao
💜 We share the same sense of humor so it would be kinda mutual! I’d make a shitty pun and he makes an even worse one on top of that and then we end up getting into a spiral of awful puns and rhymes and before you know it we’ve written possibly the worst rap of all time
14. Who would want to adopt 50 dogs and cats?
💛 Me. I don’t want kids but I’m g with furbabies. 50 is a bit much though XD
💜 ^^^
15. Which one of you would nearly burn down the kitchen trying to microwave a pop tart and who would come to the rescue?
💛 I’d be the dumbass burning down the kitchen, no questions asked. He’d be having a heart attack and be screaming, like I can actually hear his scream right now just picturing it XD
💜 Oh dear, again it would probably be mutual... >.<
16. Who likes to lean over trail railings and who pulls them back?
💛 I’m really protective so I’d help steady him and make sure he doesn’t fall because we know how excited he gets XD
💜 ^^^ But I have seen him holding the members and looking out for their safety in general, so I think it would be him in this case actually~
17. What would watching a horror film with them be like?
💛 “This isn’t even scary. Like look, nothing is happening. Stop hiding behind the cushion, Niamh.” “THE MOTHERFUCKER IS RIGHT ON THE SCREEN, YOU LIAR. I HATE YOU.”
💜 “If you get scared, you can hold onto me” .“You mean, cuddle you because you’re scared, right?”. “Ah...yes, Niamh. Thanks.”
18. Who would be the cheesy flirt and who would be the smooth flirt?
💛 He’d be sooooo cheesy, like to the point where its not even flirting but just straight up cringey. I don’t flirt often but when I do, its like wow I see what you did there. But I’d get embarrassed around him so it would be less smooth and more stuttery unless I got a sudden burst of confidence. He would have no shame flirting though, like he legit would be the type to say “Omg damn girl, that ass” and I’d slap him XD
💜 Eww he’d be cheesy like he’d be walking around and see something and try make it a rap like in the LA vlog lmao. Something really dumb like “You’re so pretty, those flowers don’t compare because you have a cute face and nice hair” and I’d just be like “uhhh....thanks?” and burst out laughing and blushing out of secondhand embarrassment XD
19. Who is more competitive?
💛 We’re both so competitive but I think with his history in sporting competitions (whereas I was too shy to do them T-T), it would give him just a bit more. I’d always encourage him though, like I’d love seeing him try his best and would always ask if there was anything I could do to help. But if it came to games, I don’t take the “I let you win” excuse cx
💜 Me? I take my passions very seriously and throw myself into what I do, like I get VERY into my work. I was v competitive in debating and any time I hear the word challenge, its like yasss bring it on bish. Mark is competitive too but I think he’d prefer taking a support role. He’s so encouraging of his members and I honestly need a little cheerleader like him in my life ;-;
20. Who would be given constant reminders? (Don’t forget your keys, things like that)
💛 As much of a nagger I can be, I feel like he is the type to do this even at random moments. Like we’d be chilling together and then he’ll just say out of nowhere, “Did you eat lunch btw? I’m going to make you lunch”. He wouldn’t listen to any bullshit. He’d take care of me whether I liked it or not haha
💜 Hhmm kinda mutual here but for different things, if that makes sense? Like he’d be telling me to “take your meds and vitamins, bring a jacket, text when you get there”, etc. I’d be like “take a break for a few minutes, I’ll be there soon with some food”, etc, I need reminders for taking care of myself but I give reminders for others to take care of themselves lol
21. Who sends memes and who sends cute ‘i miss you’ texts at 3am?
💛 He’s the sappy bitch with “I miss you” texts haha and being the idiot I am, I would send him memes of himself in response XD
💜 Honestly, unless he was maybe drunk I think it would be me. Like it would very out of the blue and probably make him panic a bit oops. He’d write a long ass ride message in response though because he’d be so worried ^^’
This was very soft and cringey ahaha but I’m going to tag @jaexmins @cosmicrailwaybisexual @happysmilebtr @kikitsaaa @nctdoingthings @castielsinwhite @thefroghyungwon @seulgii-princess and if anyone else wants to do it then just say I tagged you XD
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u said be nosy please so im gon be nosy 1-65 valentines day questions hav fun
ooooh yay thank you! I love when people ask a lot of questions, and since I have nothing better to do on Valentines day, this is perfect.
1: Do you have a crush at the moment?
Nope. Wait- theres a cute girl I work with. I don’t know if it’s reached crush levels but I felt like I should mention it.
2: Have you ever been deeply in love?
Do fictional characters count? No? Then yeah that will be a no from me.
3: Longest relationship you’ve ever been in?
0 days, 0 hours, 0 minutes, and exactly 0 seconds.
4: Have you ever changed for someone?
I’ve definitely pretended to be different in order to fit into friend groups at times. 
5: How is your relationship with your ex?
Fantastic considering they don’t exist.
6: Have you ever been cheated on?
Can’t be cheated on if you never date (insert that meme thing here)
7: Have you ever cheated?
See above question.
8: Would you date someone who’s well known for cheating?
No, most likely not. 
9: What’s the most important part of a relationship?
Trust. I think it’s really important to be able to trust your partner and be worthy of your partner’s trust. Even in a friendship, trust is crucial. 
10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?
I’d prefer a serious relationship. I’m too in love with the idea of love for just flings.
11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on “breaks”?
If it’s needed, then yeah. It may help the relationship.
12: How many people have you ever hooked up with?
I’m a virgin, so…. 
13: What’s one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship?
Can’t regret anything if you’ve never said/done anything to anyone at all!
14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex?
At least 16. Ideally I would say 17-18, but realistically I would say 16.
15: Do you believe in the phrase “age is just a number”?
Nope. Age can show what stage you are in your life, and if you are in such a different stage as someone else, that relationship can’t be healthy.
16: Do you believe in “love at first sight”?
I think there’s definitely a “lust at first sight” which can easily lead to love. 
17: Do you believe it’s possible to fall in love on the internet?
I think so. I don’t know if it’s possible for me, but for others, definitely.
18: What do you consider a deal breaker?
Abuse, cheating, overall assholery. Also if they diss any of the books I read then fuck them we’re done. 
19: How do you know it’s time to end a relationship?
I would say when the negatives of staying with them outnumber the positives. Also that’s really easy to say as someone who has only ever been single.
20: Are you currently in a relationship?
With myself, yes.
21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends?
Definitely, if that’s what they both want.
22: Do you think people should date their friends?
See above answer.
23: How many relationships have you had?
A solid 0.
24: Do you think love can last forever?
With work and effort, yeah.
25: Do you believe love can conquer all things?
I would hope so. I’m such a romantic that I need to believe that.
26: Would you break up with someone your parents didn’t approve of?
I would like to think no, but it would definitely put a strain in the relationship at this point in my life, considering that I can’t drive and rely on my parents for a lot.
27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be?
There’s no rush.
28: Do you think long distance relationships can work?
I think so. If the two people are dedicated and willing to make it work, it can.
29: What do you notice first about another person?
Usually its either hair (for women) or face/bone structure (for men). 
30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual?
Bi! Although I guess I’m kinda pan actually, but I prefer the label bisexual.
31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness?
Nope, considering I suffer from ALL OF THEM. Kidding, only like… 200.
32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?
No, thankfully.
33: Do you want to get married one day?
Definitely, 100% yes,
34: What do you think about getting your partner’s name tattooed?
I’ll pass on that thanks.
35: Could you be in a relationship without sex?
I’m not sure. I think I would be able to, but I don’t know.
36: Are you still a virgin?
Yes I am
37: What’s more important: Looks or personality?
Personality, but to be honest looks still play a big part.
38: Do you enjoy love films?
YES!! I LOVE LOVE
39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses?
Do flowers after a play count? Because I’ve been given roses by family then.
40: Have you ever had a valentine?
Not a real one. But once in seventh grade a kid literally threw a teddy bear and necklace at me from across the hall. Apparently he had a big crush on me but didn’t want to say it. It was a nice necklace. Yeah nothing came from that though.
41: What’s your imagination of a “perfect date”?
Probably just going somewhere different, maybe the beach or a park or something, and spending time together.
42: Have you ever read “Romeo & Juliet”?
Yes and I wasn’t a huge fan. I prefer King Lear.
43: What’s more important: Your partner or your friends?
Friends. But again, I have no partner. If I picked partner I would probably look like a dick.
44: Would you consider yourself “romantic”?
I love love, but I have no clue what to do in romantic situations, so no.
45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends?
uh maybe idk
46: Have you ever been “friendzoned”?
Yeah, but then I helped him get together with the girl he actually liked so it all worked out and I became their #1 cheerleader. 
47: Which “famous couple” is your favorite?
Can I do fictional ones instead? because I know nothing about celebrity couples and instead just want to talk about Feyre and Rhys from ACOTAR. They are goals!!!!
48: What’s your favorite love song?
It’s hard to pick a favorite. You know what, I don’t care if I’m cliche. I have to pick Can’t Help Falling in Love
49: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
Yeah, I think. I don’t know. He was pretty creepy so I didn’t feel much guilt
50: If you’re single, why do you think you are?
Because I’m afraid of commitment and being in a relationship. Also my standards are extremely high, I am too wrapped up in myself, and people aren’t my favorite things in the world.
51: Would you rather date someone who’s rich but a douchebag or someone who’s poor but a nice guy?
Poor nice guy, as long as he isnt a ‘nice guy’
52: Are you good at giving other people advices regarding dating/ relationships?
I actually give people romantic advice a lot. I still question why I’m asked when I have 0 experience, but I won’t complain
53: Are you jealous of couples when you’re single?
Yeah, a lot.
54: How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on facebook)?
I don’t think it would be too important to me. 
55: Would you consider yourself “clingy”, “overly attached” or “jealous”?
For the most part, I’ve been pretty distant when it comes to people I’ve dated or have considered dated. But I also didn’t love them, or even really like them that much, so I may end up being clingy if in a good relationship
56: Have you ever “destroyed” a relationship?
You need to be in a relationship to destroy one.
57: x
o
58: Are you the “dominant” or the “submissive” part in a relationship?
I’m really insecure and prefer to have things chosen for me, so more submissive. But I also like to be the center of attention, so maybe a bit dominant
59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner’s birthday or your anniversary?
Haven’t had the chance to, thank god.
60: What’s your opinion on open relationships?
If it works for the people in the relationship, and everyone is fine with it, then good for them.
61: Who’s more important: Your partner or your family?
Family. 
62: How do you define “cheating”?
Touching someone who isn’t a part of the relationship in a way that would upset/hurt your partner. 
63: Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate?
I don’t think so. Unless its all you do. Even if you aren’t in a relationship, that would be inappropriate
64: Do you think Valentine’s Day is overrated?
I don’t know. I love all the romance and adorableness, but also why not make every day valentines day and always treat your significant other with this much repect and love?
65: Would you consider yourself a “cuddler”?
I am. Definitely.
Yay now you know more about me!
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EPISODE 1 (Part 2) - “I'll be sharpening my knife just in case” - Eddie
SEB
I'll be happy if I never have to see another fucking Robot Unicorn for the rest of my life...
NICHOLAS
Hey guys! So I am going to send it here so it's easier, but I already LOVE my tribe! Everyone is so sweet and easy to talk to (something that isn't always the case in these games). I am really trying to be super active and friendly and supportive towards people so that they feel like they should keep me around,,,, and i think it's working well since I got added to that fun alliance! I'm working hard for this reward challenge so I can prove my worth to all of these people on my tribe! That's about it for now! xoxoxoxo Nicholas
AMANDA
OK i have found that i hate this unicorn game. Like HATE IT.  I am so over it. everyone seems cool so far. there is some people that i am already kind of nervous  about because they just seem like they are already trying to play games and stuff. IDK but they just have me on edge but oh well. I think i am going to try to become close with them but idk i don't really want to be close with hem bc i don't trust them.
JARED
Honestly I am PISSED I was not put with Daniella or Trysten, and I’m stuck with the damn furry! But this will not bring me down, I am here to WIN and I will do whatever it takes to do that. Right now my goal is to just be social and try my best to talk to everyone, because god knows I do not want to be the first one voted out!
CHRISSA
we won that reward which is cool there's a reason i like that game, I hope we win immunity too so nervous still. I am hoping i am safe if we don't win either though. Voting if we had to, would be so hard.
ELENA
I am so happy that we won reward! I am a little bit confused about what exactly they are able to do at "the summit" but hopefully Dani and Darian will share with us when they get back! So far as tribe relations go, I haven't had a chance to speak with everyone yet, but I have made a couple of friends it seems in Seb and Darian. I hope to speak with everyone at least once before Immunity challenge is over.
DANI
I WANTED THAT GODDAMN IDOL CLUE! ME! I did! But my freaking Papa Jabari or whatever that dish was called didn't have jack SHIT! Grrrr.... I Didnt even eat that shit it tasted like acc trash! So I'm starving and now I'm stuck on a fucking mountain peak with a furry, someone who plays the victim all the time, a photographer piece of shit who I'm targeting, and a few other assclowns I haven't had the privilege of conversing with. GET ME OUT OF HERE NOW!
MATT
My lord Seamus got angry over something I called toast. I need to do that more *eyes emoji*
CHRISSA
flag challenges are ugly but I am here for it and the summit twist is cool that's all
JARED
Honestly, I’m mad.  I wanted to go to the summit because I wanted to talk to Daniella… *starts sobbing* I just feel so ALONE! It’s not fair….
TRYSTEN
I'm not going to lie. I feel defeated a little. I just feel like the weakest link, and I'm not going to be surprised if they vote me out.
KENDALL
Okay I just found out newlyf's name, it's Ally. I was right the first time, which is weird because I am usually never right at all. So chances are we are in the Matrix, sorry to shatter your fragile reality :/. Now on to more substantial things: 1. The Reward Challenge Yeah fuck that challenge man. I'm not going to lie, for the first ten minutes it was sort of fun. I like addicting things and the music was pretty good but everything went down hill and it went down hill fast. I still have the bloody song stuck in my head. :( 2. Summit Interesting concept and I like the idea of having an excuse for not being as social. Unfortunately I couldn't jump at the opportunity because that would be stupid. It would put a target on my back if I did, as the possibility of me having an idol would increase. Plus the odds of someone from my group going was very high considering we make up 4/7. And low and behold I was right. Two of the people I trust the most went to the Summit and I got to keep my hands clean. I guess this also means that the idol thing was fake which leads me to say, really guys, really? I stressed out about this.  3. The Immunity Challenge Flag making challenge, I volunteered because nobody else knew how to use photoshop and I am really good at drawing. I'm no Picasso (early Picasso, not late Picasso, I could do that shit) but I think it will work. Not to mention I hate relying on other people because people are gross and that I need to prove myself of some use. If I'm not careful, they'll catch on that I am virtually worthless in most scenarios. Like I wouldn't even be good bait for the wild animals, I taste too much like arsenic.  Anyway that's all folks, I'll be back with more scheming, paranoid ramblings and zombies. Well, maybe not those first two.   
DARIAN
SHIT HIT THE FAN kinda. I got an idol on my first try today. But it wasn't for my tribe... I know..Im sooooo lucky that I find someone else idol. So I was than told that I had 45 min to decide who I was going to give it to. Instantly I had two ideas in my head Keyonjay or Ally. Keyonjay- He clearly is decent in challenges and would be a string partner to attempt to align myself with. He has also agreed that if he finds my idol that he will give it to me. So theres a win win there for me.. maybe Ally- She did really bad in the first challenge and that honestly puts a huge target on her back because she is the easy vote. The team stays strong and no one gets butt hurt. But if she has the idol she can make a move and take out a big player EARLY... Like Keyonjay hahaha. After talking it out with keyonjay and getting his opinions and than a little self reflection I decided to give Keyonjay the idol in hopes that he could be the one to find my idol and maybe even become a strong alliance member!! Ahhhh so stressed!!!!
KEYONJAY
Okay so a couple things. I got the best score on the first challenge out of pure luck. Like just somehow I literally got to like 55k on level two when the previous times i played i couldn't get over 10k on all three levels. Unfortunately we still didn't win which fucking sucks because I didn't wanna go to the goddamn summit at all, but the other tribe chose me because i got the best score apparently. Didn't really wanna be away from my tribe for anything to change with my alliances, and really didn't wanna be put in a position that complicates my game. Ofc immediately that changes because Darian just gave me an idol. like dsfsdsf wtf. I just met the kid. It's really nice though and obviously from my last game I see that you can't abuse people's kindness like that so I'm not gonna use it against him or anything or brag and call him dumb (I'm sorry Mitchy D:) but this definitely complicates things because if I had an idol, I'd rather be the only person that knows about it and now I have to contend with the fact that this idol is basically mine AND Darian's and I have to use it in a way that benefits both of us or risk a pissed off juror. God. DONT GIVE ME IDOLS! I DONT WANT THEM! THEY COMPLICATE THINGS! He wants me to use it on Ally if my tribe loses the first immunity, but hopefully I can protect her and make that not happen regardless, or we can win, which I doubt since it's a flag challenge and I fucking suck at these.
ACE
Alright we got 2nd on the challenge which is decent. And then the next chall is a flag making competition and considering Kendall and Jared know of my abilities hopefully they can leave it up to me. I'm gonna make a wicked gif. Anyways the Summit twist is kinda cool, I got food that gave me an idol clue but it at least told me where NOT to look. I'm probably gonna stick to mountainside since random.org told me to. The Summit is Me and Keyonjay, Matt, Darian, Dani, and Johnny. I already know Dani and Matt, Darian talked with me a bit and they seem alright. They use phone emojis a lot and Im not use to seein those on my computer so its weird a bittttt! Johnny isn't online yet so idk about them just yet. Before I left Jared wanted me to talk to Keyonjay about making an alliance with them. When I heard keyonjay would be at Summit I decided to volunteer myself so I could get the question in. Keyonjay said they were ok with Jared and wanted him to join the alliance with Kendall and Nicholas... uhh no I think we just meant something between us 3 we don't need that big of an alliance even though our tribe is amazing and we'll probably barely lose anybody =') Also Kendall and I sorta already settled Jared as our possible first tribe boot so that'd just make things a bit harder maybe? WHo's even left? Ally and Amanda... that's it rofl also I don't think Ally is Mega anymore lol delete it
JOHNNY
Since joining the game, I’ve found it really difficult to legitimately communicate with people. I can’t help but think a lot of these people are dweebs, who just sit behind the computer all day blogging on tumblr and obsessing over Survivor games online I’m sure, and there’s no way I can compete with no lifes who do nothing but scratch their ballsacks all day. Any who, I do kinda know Dani, who is in the Summit with me right now, and i recognize Jared from a few other games I’ve played, but I’ve yet to approach him yet about the game, but I’m glad I have that in my back pocket. I’ve really gotta start forming some bonds with people, because the conversations I’m having with most of these people are not strong, and I wouldn’t be surprised if these try hard motherfuckers already have a majority alliance, but all I can do is contribute in challenges and hope for the best since my social game isn’t going to be too strong this early on. I’ve made a bond with Crimson on my team because we have a mutual friend, so hopefully that can take me a long way for now. My plan is to just bond with Matt since he’s the only one from my tribe I can talk to, maybe strike a deal, let him think he can do anything with me in this game, when tbh I’ll probably slit his neck soon enough anyways
tbh I get the very scary feeling that a lot of people know each other in this game, and I honestly don’t have anyone in this game that I can truly rely on like some do, and I’m never going to know who is friends with who. Now I know what it feels like to kinda be a newb in the games I play when I just target the people I don’t know… Guess I’m getting a taste of my own medicine here
DANI
Darian is getting on my nerves so badly. Like ugh, shut up for like two seconds nobody cares if you're a photographer. 
So Darian's dumbass comes up to me saying Carson/Julia have an idol in the game. Do I believe him? Yeah. Do I not wanna believe him? Yeah... But that's just how the game works. Oh how I wish I had that idol... *licks lips* Oh the things I would do to it... Grrr....
CARSON
Ok so I'm pretty sure Darian just exposed that he has the idol by trying to give me a fake clue. On 1/4/17, at 7:23 PM, Darian Goggin wrote: > I got a clue to an idol On 1/4/17, at 7:23 PM, Darian Goggin wrote: > It wasn't much but it's something On 1/4/17, at 7:23 PM, Carson (albania host) wrote: > omg On 1/4/17, at 7:23 PM, Darian Goggin wrote: > Don't search the Forrest On 1/4/17, at 7:23 PM, Darian Goggin wrote: > Or the mountainside On 1/4/17, at 7:27 PM, Carson (albania host) wrote: > I guess that can be kind of helpful lol So apparently you get clues to the idol at the Summit. Hell, there could even be an idol at the Summit. But regardless he got a clue... but he should have quoted it if it was real. Plus I went to the mountainside already and got THIS: On 1/3/17, at 9:24 PM, carson (tibet host) wrote: > You come to the spot where an idol looks to have been hidden, but there's nothing here! https://media.tenor.co/images/fb3f2d1e814190100a4ae401b1660d5b/tenor.gif He told me not to go to the mountainside because he already went there and got it and he didn't want me to find out its gone! And I guess its safe to say he's working with Dani now, who I also wanted to work with. I would go to her about it, but idk if she'd leak to Darian that I'm onto him. Right now, I'm just going to lay low with this until I need to use it. It sounds to me like Dani, Seb and Elena already know each other, and if Darian goes with them, they'll have majority. I wanted to work with Julia (and by extension Chrissa), but idk if it'll work out. Once again, I don't want to pry at all because no one really has a target yet. There isn't an easy first boot, so one slip up could cost me the game. OK THE PLOT JUST THICKENED Apparently, the Namtso idol is gone... which means all the tribes are searching the same area. So maybe Darian doesn't have it... but he could be protecting someone that does. I mean he's probably in cahoots with the ppl at the summit, And we can find the other tribe's idols. I'm so fucking shook.
JULIA RAE
ok so right now i dont know what im doing bc i dont really play survivor ,,, but i think im doing alright. i talked to everyone and i rly like carson and darian but that just my opinion! also darian told me that he'd be willing to get rid of seb if it came down to it ,,,, which is ok with me idk that dude and he kinda weird ngl! hopefully we win immunity bc if we dont idk what to do!! hehe love survivor!!
TRYSTEN
Holy Shit! I fucking did not expect us to get first, but thank yoouuu Johnny! *blows a kiss to the camera* moi!
CHRISSA
I am so glad we are not going to tribal, fuck the people who said those things lol just kidding it's their opinion honestly we just don't know who will judge and what they will like. it sucks.
DANI
I feel good I feel nice I've never felt so Satisfied I'm in love I'm alive Intoxicated Flying high It feels like a dream When you touch me tenderly I don't know if it's real But I like the way I feel Inside
DARIAN
Yasss we won immunity! No tribal! Which is great because no one really is on the outs rn so no one can really be an easy vote and that's scary! But I don't have to worry about that so yay!
KEYONJAY
So we lost the first immunity challenge and this really sucks, but luckily I'm in the majority alliance and then we kinda have Jared as an extra number even though he's not really IN the alliance or the alliance chat. I still have my idol that nobody knows about so I could make some kind of move if I wanted. Darian wanted me to use it to "take out a power-player" but I'm like, not gonna do that. It's WAY too early to make a big move like that and it would be completely illogical and senseless. It's better to just go with the numbers right now and not rock the boat. Plus I don't really see anyone on our tribe as a power-player necessarily. Kendall is definitely the leader of our alliance but I wanted it that way so I can continue flying UTR and focus on my social game. Now to see who will be the first to go from our tribe. :( Sucks because I really like everybody.
MATT
Well damn. Johnny is actually the MVP for this one. We can literally just relax and pretend like we give a shit about who's leaving only because it's none of us lmao.
ACE
I'm sad we lost, I like everybody on this tribe. I don't feel like bringing Jared down just yet, I brought up that Ally had the lowest score on the Reward challenge so we could possibly just go with her. Everyone in the Mofos alliance said they wanna keep me and Kendall for doing good work in the challenge but we'll see about that. I think I'm good with mostly everybody except for Amanda and Ally. I just spoke to Amanda and she said she'll vote Ally bc they haven't spoken at allll. Amanda doesn't seem to be in any alliance whatsoever. Kendall is a strong leader in the Mofos and I like that she's more leading than I am even tho I'm the one who suggested Ally. Hopefully that'll keep the target more on her than me later on in the game. Kendall just told me Keyonjay gave her an idol clue and it's the same one I got. So that didn't help any. I guess I gotta continue filling up that mountainside grid.
ELENA
I am so happy that we aren't going to Tribal Council because I really like everyone on our tribe right now! It will be sad if we lose any time soon because they are all just very nice and interesting people. I am so greatful for Carson for doing the most of the work on the flag, I do wish he had somehow incorporated the Yaks since I did the research on Tibet, it felt like my idea was ignored a little bit. But what matters the most is that it was a very good outcome! I can't wait for the next challenge!!
KENDALL
Welp, I might have fucked myself. Why did I volunteer? Why did I think that combining two mediums is a good idea? Dear lord, what have I done? Well anyway, here's a quick recap: Ace and Keyonjay went to the summit and when they came back Keyonjay told me he had an idol clue. He gave it to me because he really didn't want an idol, apparently they are more trouble than there worth. Ace didn't tell me anything about the summit and only talked about making the flag. She only brought it up when I revealed my idol clue. This proves to me that my loyalties should lie more with Keyonjay than Ace. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Anyway after we lost the challenge I typed in the alliance chat "well at least we know it's either me or Ace". I meant it as a joke but they freaked out and thought I was pulling a Zane. I managed to clear up the misconception but I am still not sure if they still doubt me. In order to repair some sort of relationship with her, I showed Ace the idol clue which was the same clue she got. And now I'm nervous maybe she will show receipts of the conversation to Keyonjay and shift the target on to me. It wouldn't be too difficult, I'm a bit of an unusual person to talk to and I mostly hogged the challenge that we failed. Though chances are I'm being irrational so I'm not going to risk it. If I do start panicking and try to get my alliance mates out, I'll end up putting the target on my back that I've been trying to avoid. God I hate feeling fear, it's very gross. Well, all feelings are gross... it's just this one is inconveniencing me the most currently.
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