#idek what made me remember that negging is even a thing but yeah

[livlepretre]

Do you think that Klaus sleeping with Hayley was ooc? I remember watching the episode for the first time and thinking “Why is Klaus chilling with Hayley and letting her dodge his questions about Katherine?” I was already confused about why Klaus didn’t kill her for helping unsire all his hybrids, so I knew some fuckery was afloat. At the time in the episode when they had sex, I was like “ummmm...okay I guess” but I wasn’t happy because I thought this meant Hayley was about to stick around, and her attitude drove me crazy. I really just don’t like female characters who have an “I’m cooler than you” attitude and Hayley was giving me those vibes in spades. I first watched TVD on Netflix with no prior knowledge of anything from behind the scenes, so I had no idea that the Originals spin-off was going to be a thing. 4 episodes later and I was like, “we’re doing a baby plot now? With Hayley as our choice for the mother?” Then I realized it was a back door pilot (cuz I’m an idiot) and was immediately disappointed. I’ll be the first to admit that I had a biased opinion on why the Originals was going to be bad. I loved the Originals as villains, but this show checked two of my negative boxes: children/pregnancy in the supernatural genre and political factions. I just prefer a more personal story surrounding a group of people (like the Mystic Falls Gang). I also don’t think that having the Mikaelsons as the main focus of a show was a good idea. All their enemies have a very legitimate reason for wanting them gone, and any serious emotional growth in the span of 5 years after 1,000 years of static behavior comes off as jarring to me. The original plot was going to take place in Chicago with more focus on Rebekah as the female lead, and I think that spin-off would have been cooler. The Originals already had pre-established ties to Chicago, and I personally think the New Orleans obsession came out of nowhere. It was never mentioned prior to season 4, and then for some reason Klaus was obsessed with being king there? Girl, idek where I’m going with this ask anymore. TLDR: Klaus/Hayley was weird, I can’t stand Hayley, and I wish we got the original spin-off plot line instead of anything we actually got. Thoughts or opinions? Thank you! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Man, I have so many thoughts. 

Let me try to break down the different parts of your question: 

1. Was Klaus sleeping with Hayley OOC? 

It’s not like I’ve seen the scene where Klaus and Hayley sleep together more than once or twice, but I overall come down on... no in terms of them sleeping together, but yeah, ooc in terms of what happens next? Like, it would have been out of character for Klaus to care about Hayley at all, and he clearly doesn’t, so that checks out. Plus, I think she fits the bill of whom he might randomly sleep with-- she’s beautiful and special enough to get his attention as a werewolf and also outspoken (even though I agree, the “cooler than you” vibes she gives off are like fingers on a chalkboard for me, and why I’ve never quite liked her, but especially why I didn’t like her on tvd) and she actually does get under his skin when she crits his paintings and thinks they’re mediocre-- and it’s so revealing that basically he sleeps with her because she finds him fundamentally lacking. So far, so good. (And by this point I remember thinking, well, they’d be wasting how hot he is if he doesn’t sleep with SOMEONE, and I was just so relieved it wasn’t Caroline that I was willing to go with it.) I DO find it ooc that he lets the whole plotting against him/Katherine questioning thing drop... like, I can imagine him sort of playing with her like a cat plays with its food, and sleeping with her, and then still turning around and wanting answers and maybe even killing her because he’s like that when people betray him, and I don’t think being one of Klaus’s lovers conveys any sort of protection against him. 

2. Does the premise of the Originals as main characters/protagonists work? 

Agreed that this mostly falls on its face. The Originals are really awful, in general, even the ones who see themselves as better. There was some pretty extreme cognitive dissonance going on for me when I started the show, because right away, I viewed Marcel as the protagonist, and couldn’t help but root for him against Klaus. Basically, same for every other person who comes up against them. (Is Esther even wrong that they’re a plague on the earth and should be wiped out? My gut tells me... no?) So, it requires weird mental gymnastics for us as an audience to repeatedly side with them and hope they come out on top. Like, Klaus is just the absolute worst, and I love him for that, but it’s asking just a lot for me to also side with him because I cannot help but pity and empathize with every single rando he encounters. And Elijah is a huge hypocrite, Kol is like that messy acquaintance who’s always shit-wrecked, and Rebekah really is a spoiled brat. 

And the idea that they can change after a thousand years of stagnation is another huge landmine that the show just sort of casually walks over and detonates on itself. Like, I know there are reasons for the change, but I also don’t entirely buy it. The only point in showing us flashbacks is to demonstrate something from a character’s past that is somehow still meaningful to who they are and how they are in the present, and the fact that vampire flashbacks span centuries always implies that they change very slowly, if at all. 

I don’t actually mind the political factions bit, or the supernatural pregnancy stuff, as a general rule, if I can be convinced well enough by the story.  

It is awfully weird that Klaus cares so much about Nola all of a sudden, but that leads me to... 

3. My thoughts on the New Orleans setting 

There’s more to unpack here than I honestly ever could. I don’t really like it because it treats the city like the tourist’s caricature of the city, without any real effort to understand the specific history or the culture of the city. Chicago would have made more sense. 

(On the other hand, this setting gives me an unparalleled opportunity to do my very favorite thing, which is write about Louisiana, and play with that in my fic.) 

#anonymous #klaus

[tonyglowheart]

This entire thing is a rant, feel free to ignore it, but I saw your post about how destiel fans can’t win in this context, and yeah. So have some rambles.

I’ve been thinking about the fact we (current spn/destiel fans) can’t win all night... I’ve seen so many people talking about how homophobic it is - and while I would very much like to argue, as every point I’ve seen made by a non-spn fan has been wrong so far, if I did everyone inside the fandom would agree and everyone outside would either call me straight or pity me for believing it’s okay.

(Cas wasn’t even sent to hell lmao. He was sent to angel death (the empty), a place he has escaped in the past. Other points, like that meta about spn has been predicting exactly this for months, that Dean ended up sobbing on the floor because he was so upset, like that death means next to nothing on spn, like that there is two episodes left, etc etc. you feel me right? I just don’t want to post wank to other spn blogs atm, we’re getting enough frustration as it is, no need to add to it.

It’s also worth pointing out that the bar is very, very low. Spn is a prominent TV show - not a Netflix show, or indie, or whatever - and it just said “main character in gay love saved the world”. [insert gif of ghostfacers dude saying that gay love can pierce through the veil of death and save the day here]

I just saw someone saying that spn having Naomi try to brainwash Cas out of loving dean makes spn homophobic (it is a conversion therapy parallel). My first response to that is that Naomi was the villain lmao? I guess we can’t write villains doing anything homophobic because having villains do homophobic things makes, uh - checks notes - villains look homophobic, and clearly we can’t have that.

There certainly are legitimate things to criticise spn about, but this isn’t it lol.

Also now some people are unironically trying to cancel Jensen because “his acting was homophobic, and so he’s clearly homophobic”, nevermind that he’s an actor and his character struggles with understanding his emotions (which I think he played excellently, myself. That scene had a very Dean delayed emotional response), nevermind the support he’s given to us queers in the past. Like. Idek man.

We would have been laughed at if we got no destiel, too.

It would have been worse, had the writers pulled a dumbledore. At this point I also trust the writers not to pull a GoT - they have explicitly criticised that ending in spn’s canon.

Spn’s writers did that by making the main villain of this season, Chuck / God, say GoT had a good ending. To reiterate a previous point I had: villains do bad things because they’re bad. And the bad things they do make them bad. For the people out there not still following, if someone does something in a story and it makes them a villain, that is explicitly telling you the story (and probably the writers) thinks that thing is bad. In this case, Chuck likes to write things for him, and we the audience have been shown and told that is bad.

Apparently thinking a gay confession is good in 2020 makes me straight. Seems unlikely, but whatever. Sorry for the length, I guess I went overboard, I’ve been holding it in lol. Anyway, DESTIEL IS CANON 💚💙 hope you have a good night

Helloo supernatural anon I hope you are living your best life right now. Yeah I’m like..... skeptical and leery myself but having lived through some absolute garbage discourse that is general purity wank, as well as the C/QL greater fandom here and on Twitter I find myself... much more wanting to question the “general wisdom” of things esp in terms of negativity, bc a lot of the time I find.... it’s wrong? Like so wrong. Or at least presents such an incomplete picture of the whole situation and also presents it in such a removed context that words that have meaning and are operationalized in a certain way for a reason, no longer have meaningful usage.

Anyway I don’t... know too much about the specifics of Spn but someone I follow is into it and talks a lot about the Gnostic stuff and that all was very fascinating to me, and I also have been grappling a lot with cultural Christianity bc of cmedia and the way ppl just *clenches fist* unthinkingly or uncritically slap some Christian norms on it and call it a day 😩 help I’m Tired. My thing here being... I actually got tired of the uncritical “superhell”s at some pt bc I am, in fact, incredibly exhausted with cultural Christianity, and because it does seem like, even possibly(?) without the Gnostic stuff it’s different from a “hell” or other Protestant-derived afterlife concept, and also yeah that it wasn’t seeded out of nowhere, it was set up to happen, which then... lends credence to the idea that whatever the current era of Spn is doing, the current showrunners are doing it with purpose.

And idk I just... refuse to believe the concept that ALL of the fans of Spn - esp the ones who have been following it still, or got back into it and are following it currently, are acting under delusion or are fooling themselves into liking it or thinking it’s good or whatever. I personally find that kinda infantilizing and patronizing and playing into issues of dismissing things women and/or other marginalized identities like.

Plus I find the concept that (from what I think I’ve been seeing Spn fans say) that the current era of the show is quite actively grappling with itself, its past, its legacy. to be very interesting and compelling; it hearkens back to like an old lore kind of feeling, of a thing that has grown into a nigh undefeatable monster and realizing that, also realizing that the only way to defeat itself is through grappling with its own nature and transforming and transmuting itself into something else. I personally find that more plausible and compelling than “Supernatural has been actively and continuously queerbaiting for 15 homophobic homophobic years., so right now we’re all very sorry for you because this maybe is no longer queerbaiting but it’s still homophobic and it can never be anything different ever.” I’ve been sort of tangentially aware of Spn thru the years and didn’t we agree, around the time of that in-universe play about Spn and with the lil Destiel shoutout, that Spn has come a ways as far as coming to terms with its fandom and working to treat its fans better? Why the sudden regression into “oh no, Supernatural is and forever will be homophobic and a hate crime”? 🤔 

The rest under a cut bc the ask is already long and then my rambling will get longer-

But yeah I mean..... I get that the legacy of Supernatural has been certifiably Rough, but I think people also forget how different of a time 2005 was? Hell, how different of a time 2015 was, even, prior to, say, Obergefell v. Hodges. Now I’m not saying that to blanket-excuse Supernatural, but like, you look at mainstream shows from the era and... there’s a lot of shit lmao. The fact that Supernatural has existed this long seems to me like.... maybe we CAN look at how it’s developed through the years vs just insisting it is what it was 15, 10, hell, 5 years ago. Especially since, to my knowledge, there’s been showrunner changes? Which seems to me like it would... affect things? I mean honestly, I remember back when I got into Spn for a hot second because of Castiel, I remember watching panel, Q&A, etc vids thru the years, and like... I thought we agreed that... it was the fans who were going a bit far pushing the shipping question like literally ALL the time to the actors, who are not in control of the show and.... like at the time.... that could have had personal implications for them? And yes homophobia bad, and people can still be allies despite that, but again like.... I do feel like - from what I’ve seen - that these guys were NOT ready to deal with a lot of that but they’ve (okay Jensen I’m talking about Jensen here) genuinely grown and learned? Also how many years ago was the essay autograph thing that people keep trotting out, like what year was it in and what year of spn was it, and what were the prevailing opinions on LGBT issues and bisexuality then.

I’ve been seeing some murmurings of identity politicsing surrounding ppl who enjoy Supernatural, and I’m sorry that that’s happening to you, it really fucking sucks and it’s also the dumbest way to “make” or “win” an argument because it shouldn’t ever be a final determiner, just factors to consider when considering what life experiences might have informed someone else’s PoV and views as well as maybe how you can better communicate with them. Instead of it being a “weapon” or “tool” to either dismiss someone or de facto validate an argument.

Also yeah I get it that you don’t want to send discourse to spn blogs bc I imagine you guys ARE actively grappling with all the bs rn and it’s a lot. Even just from like, the stuff I see around, I’m like tired of it. I’m genuinely having more fun with ppl who are having a good time with Supernatural than the ppl who are hating on it, even in this sort of backhanded “oh we’re not clowning YOU we’re clowning the writers and showrunners who think you should be satisfied with this,” when... yeah? the people who HAVE been watching the show and therefore... know what’s up.. DO seem to be? And all this based on *fake gasp* context. And that’s where the backhandedness becomes kind of poisonous to me, because it implies that it IS bad, and that you SHOULDN’T be satisfied, but poor little you are but don’t worry, we’re not making fun of YOU for liking garbage, you’re just the hapless victim who is consuming the garbage bc... idk, whatever reasons ppl are coming up with ig.

idk man it’s 2020. Fandom isn’t activism, performative or otherwise, it’s okay to let people enjoy things even if you think they’re “objectively” bad, and like... I don’t know if people can call something bad when they’re not even working with the whole context and instead are dealing with rumor and reputation. 

#supernatural cw #I tag this for ppl who I know want nothing to do with spn rn and are blacklisting and so it doesn't end up in main tag #Anonymous #asks answered #long post

[diepower]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO.

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Are they underrated?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main character?  YES (in the sense that she punched him in the face so that counts right) / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO.

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.

How strictly do you follow canon?  — I follow it for major plot points but uhhh Meninas has literally like 20 pages of screentime and her only defining traits are “mean, powerful, likes nice things” so that leaves me a lot of leg room to fuck stuff up. That said, I diverged from what scraps I was given because it’s my city now, Kubo.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  I mean she’s a hot buff lady and if you’re down for a narrative based in self worth, the social expectations of femininity, and like beauty & the beast but its just one person.......... Meninas is right here....... also if you like characters who aren’t as they appear on the surface.... and heaven/hell motifs.......... and being trapped in a cycle of trauma.......... i got it all

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —  She’s selfish, ruthless to the point of self destruction, cruel, and cold. She holds onto her resentment and unwittingly traps herself in a cycle of violence because she can’t shake this obviously incorrect belief that her worth depends on that cycle (because without it, what is she?). Her entire identity is shaped and pushed onward by violence and hatred, and she thrives in that pit of anger when on some level she is aware that she doesn’t have to.

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  Literally it’s originally because I thought she was super cute- but that was when I started to write her after she made her first appearance in the manga. That said, I’ve written her on and off over the years, but this blog is the first time I’ve actually put this much thought and planning into what I wanted to do with her.

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  I’ve mentioned this before, but I am 100% confident I’m the only person on the planet who cares about Meninas to this extent, and I’m really proud of the original content I’ve created for her even if it doesn’t quite match what popular fanon interpretation is for the few who do pay attention to this character. It’s been fun to take the basic traits Kubo gave us for Meninas and to write my own intent behind them. I feel in that way, I can be faithful to canon, but also tell my own story. Honestly, the overwhelming amount of positive response to my portrayal is also what keeps my inspiration going- I’m shocked how much y’all enjoy the story I have to tell. Really excited to share more, esp with how much I’ve got planned with the lot of you!

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO.

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO.

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO. (They’re in my drafts to be shared... after Certain Plot Events happen)

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day?  YES / NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO.

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO.

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO. (This is kind of a broad question and it really depends on the situation... I would say generally yes, but I’m also good at handling negativity so???)

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  Yes, but I prefer it to be constructive. Criticism is kind of useless to me if some sort of alternative isn’t offered to help me improve.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  YES! Especially since often times questions will come out of left field and I get to consider things I’ve never considered before!

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  I... gotta be honest, no. Unless it’s for some seriously offensive mistake that I’ve made, it doesn’t matter to me.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  I’m well aware that I’m writing Meninas in a way that isn’t the obvious intent of canon, but it’s not directly contradicting canon either, so I wouldn’t be surprised if my portrayal was disagreed with. That said, I wouldn’t care lol (unless, like I said, I was doing something seriously offensive or upsetting). MY CITY NOW!

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  I would be surprised that there’s someone who would feel so negatively about a character like Meninas who... doesn’t really do anything in canon, but go off I guess! I don’t care.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  Yeah I don’t mind. Most of my errors come from when I get too excited to post a reply and I don’t triple-check anyways.

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  Well I sure hope so!! But I’m also acutely aware that I can come off as severe and intimidating (for some reason I’ve yet to figure out lmao) sometimes. I’m a pretty strongly opinionated person and I stand by my convictions, but I try to convey my feelings clearly without stepping on any toes. This makes me sound not easygoing at all LMAO.

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

Tagged by: i cant remember idek if i was tagged in this i just wanted to do it

#this was quite long so i put it beneath a cut #A HOT PINK BITCH NAMED BREAKFAST / OOC #MEME / ANSWERED

[autistic-reptile]

i told both my parents i thought i might be on the spectrum abt a year after i started suspecting and they both basically shot me down bc (condensed version) im "too normal to be autistic". i relate to nearly every symptom ive ever seen described by girls on the spectrum but i feel like mine arent intense enough-- i have special interests but not all are obsessions, i stim but in pretty small unnoticeable ways, i can force myself to make eye contact even if i don't want to. idek what (1)

before I say anything, just know that none of this is a bother!!! I love getting asks - one of my first thoughts when I figured out that I was autistic was "I bet there actually ARE way more people out there like me and I want to talk to them/help them feel less alone too" so I love it.

I can understand your parents thinking you're "too normal" to be autistic - not because they're right, but because I had a similar outlook on autism before learning about it. I remember a few years ago, someone made a joke about me being autistic (they knew nothing about autism either, they were just using it as a joke/insult in reference to awkward tendencies), and later on that night I ended up briefly looking up the actual symptoms of autism, only to shut myself down IMMEDIETLY, thinking:

"okay, that's relatable, but I'm obviously not autistic. I would've had to have been in special education or something, right? or I wouldn't have any friends at least. I definitely am able to make eye contact, and wtf even is stimming?? sounds like everyone would mention me stimming if I did that, so, yeah. No way I'm autistic."

and that was it lol. probably didn't think about it at all again until I was 22 and saw a youtube video of another grown woman talking about her autism and masking, which was what prompted me to actually look deeper into autism and ultimately lead to my diagnosis.

basically what I'm trying to say here is that very little people have a correct view of what autism looks like, nor can you really define exactly what autism always looks like because its so different for everybody. the best thing you can do is try to educate your parents while you're talking to them about your concerns. show them, as best you can, what autism actually looks like, and then relate it back to your own experiences. when I was talking to my parents about it, they had a similar reaction, until I started actually listing off symptoms of autism while giving examples, saying "remember how I always did ____?" and they were finally like "ohhhhhhhhhh yeah....... hey maybe your brother and sister are autistic too" (and I'm thinking 'yep I saw it in them before I even saw it in myself' lol).

if you're feeling like you relate to all the symptoms but maybe just not as intensely, its always possible that you're not autistic and have something else instead, but its also possible that you've more or less "evolved" to show these symptoms less intensely. even small negative interactions can be enough to teach you that stimming big and being obsessed with things gets you bullied. autistic people still have the desire to fit in and be liked, so a lot of us will supress these things and do our best to camouflage the issue. small stimming and feeling like you aren't as obsessed with special interests as you should be CAN mean you're just stimmy and passionate, or it can mean you ARE autistic and you've just been influenced by your experiences to behave in less autistic ways.

I know for me, I can get embarrased by stimming in certain ways even when I'm alone - that's how ingrained it is that these traits are embarrassing and something I need to hide. it took me a little while to come to the realization that I was unconciously bullying myself. now, obviously this may not always be the case (I don't want anyone to take this to mean 'you can be autistic even without any symptoms!' lol), but sometimes it is the case that you get pushed all your life into presenting as more ""normal"" and then end up doubting that you could ever possibly be autistic. so if you relate that much to the symptoms, its certainly a possibly that should be explored.

#damn I sure do ramble on asks #can u tell that autism is a SpIn of mine now?? lol #asks #anon

[wintersoldeer]

ok here's some totally incoherent thoughts about endgame that i just have to write down or i might explode spoilers: i loved it also actual spoilers spoilers very spoilery spoilers

1. Steve and the goddddamn mjölnir!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!! when thor, iron man and cap were like 'aw yeahhh we're gonna fight thanos' i was like what the heckie is steve even doing there, supersoldier or not he's just a human. then thor drops his hammer and i’m like oh my gods please literally crossing my fingers. then thor’s fight is not going so well and oh no he definitely needs someone to save him! i’m like ohhhhhmygooddss. and THEN IT FINALLY HAPPENS I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR YEARS HELL YEAHHHHH

2. steve & peggy dance. yes. just yes. fucking finally. i love it. it was perfect i cried

3. clint should’ve died. (finally haha) he was my fave since before the avengers and i was so sure he was going to die back then, but then he didn’t and look what’s became of him since.......... i had a violent flashback to watching age of ultron for the first time and for the first time just hoping that my fave character (that would be clint) would just die, bc they’re screwing his character over so badly........ and most definitely it. should.  not. have. been. natasha. who. died.  that was such a bullshit i mean WHAT THE FUCK????  i mean maybe clint and natasha were the only remaining avengers that actually loved each other (?¿¿????¿¿¿?¿ tho that’s just flimsy, i’m just trying to....idek) and that’s why it had to be them on that stupid fuckin death cliff, but why did natasha have to die?? just because clint had a family (still with no actual characterization, not that i even care, or maybe i would if the movies had given me any reason to...) to return to and she didn’t??that fucking sucks and what sucks even more is that not only was natasha the only character that died (i’m not even counting tony, bc that was very Different) but she’s the only original female avenger AND it’s the same stupd fucking rock that the only original female gotg gamora died in such a bullshit way just last movie??? goddddd i hated that so much like maybe if she hadn’t been the first one to die and all the original avengers would’ve died as was i kinda hoping (tho i love happy endings so i didn’t actually hope that it would happen..), maybe then i would be okay with her being dead. now i am very much not okay, and that means very much not okay in a angry way, not in a sad way

4. speaking of death: to me tony’s was perfect. i might not be the biggest fan of how he always got the most screentime and a bigger role than other characters, but i can’t deny that he definitely is the heart of the whole mcu and it had to be him who saves the day in the end and what else could it have been that a very tony-like self-sacrifice..... god i cried. i loved that he got a funeral (even tho natasha didn’t...) and i loved his funeral with all the people and fricking harley and then the kid saying how much she likes cheeseburgers and the frickin ‘proof that tony stark has a heart’ and sfghkklkghhhh

5. i gasped audibly when i noticed that natasha was wearing the arrow necklace

6. i kinda forgot that vision ever even existed..... in the end i first thought that wanda was talking about pietro and then i was like ok well maybe not maybe she’s talking about tony or something WHICH MAKES NO SENSE LOL i don’t even remember what she actually said, but as was pointed out to me, she was probably talking about vision. who was a thing that existed... whoops

7. ugh i hate brucenat, i really thought we were over that shit already. i also very much disliked that they actually decided to go with professor hulk, but idk w/e i don’t care that much. but natasha’s death sucked tho and the one thing i do not want to see is bruce’s pain or whatever when the movie didn’t even give me the time or reason to actually grieve for her goddd that whole thing was such a bullshit

8. i did not like that thor was treated as a joke most of his screentime........

9. that stevepeggy dance tho. love it. it’ll probably take me at least another seven years to get over it

10. i fricking adored the whole going back in time thing, especially the 2012. the callbacks and the humor really worked for me, the elevator scene straight from cap2 but reversed and hail hydra and steve fighting steve and loki’s expressions when things go wrong and goddhhh i loved it all aaaaaaa, that was the moment when i was like ok i need to see this movie again immediately.... also the fact that their time travel rules were that they were just creating new paths or w/e i guess, and not actually changing what happened to them specifically... good. so many aus

11. that final battle was so perfectly epic

12. tho shouldn’t valkyrie’s (who really just doesn’t have a real name, now does she..) horse have died after being shot haha

13. i loved that clint had the gauntlet for so long, like he’s definitely the Least Qualified Person to keep it safe, why would that be his job, it was amazing

14. i hated natasha’s death with burning passion, but i loved how she and clint fought each other over who gets to throw themselves off that cliff. tho i really hoped that their ‘yeahh we know what we have to do’ would’ve rather meant that they decided to just throw red skull down bc who even knows if it even actually needs love sacrifice or w/e, a soul is a soul is a soul

15. i loved the human jarvis whatever-his-first-name-was cameo and i really need to finally watch/rewatch agent carter

16. i really liked the tony howard scene even if i thought it felt a bit iffy, bc i feel like there’s so much more to unpack w/ those daddy issues.... but maybe that scene means that there is that one universe where howard was actually a good dad. i want to believe that. yeah. (maybe not but let me dream)

17. i like how they totally forgot that sharon carter ever even existed

18. damn that moment when black panther comes through that portal

19. damn that moment when gi ant-man is giant

20. damn that final battle was so epic

21. damn that steve with mjölnir

22. this movie was SO GOOD when it was good and so mehhh when it was bad, and i’m really glad that it was just good enough that i can forgive overlook all of its flaws. (tho i will not forgive what they did to natasha, even if i can mostly ignore it when thinking about how good most of the rest of the movie was) but idk if it would’ve been perfect, maybe i wouldn’t have survived like there’s this One Huge Thing (natasha) that really brings down the movie that otherwise would’ve been just Amazing

23. i don’t know if my heart has ever beaten as fast as when steve finally picks up the hammer. never while watching a movie, at least

24. i love that carol has her short haircut, bc it bothered me so much in cpn marvel that she should not have been able to see anything when her hair was just constantly on her face haha

25. i feel nothing but seething resentment towards clint’s stupid family and that stupid family man role he is stuck with

26. why was natasha’s hair so weird and ugly. why can’t it just be red??

27. clint’s hair was weird and ugly too and i think i have finally kinda given up on mcu!clint (tho he has those small Very Good moments and i cry for what could’ve been.....we could’ve have it aaaaaalllll.... i think i’m going to watch swat (2003) again and still pretend it’s the clint backstory movie i deserve haha, it’s been ages since i’ve seen it idk if it would still work for me, i’m gonna try)

28. i love nebula tho

29. i loved the trip down memory lane! frigga!!!! the way the continuation of the avengers capturing loki just felt so natural and like it probably happened just like that! nebula and rhodey judging quill’s singing and dancing haha yes! everything! just as i was hoping it would be!

30. doesn’t really have anything to do with this movie but: i still firmly believe that coulson never died. i still firmly believe that pietro never died. 

31. falcon cap helll yeah!!

32. i guess i’ll never get my strike team delta movie with clintasha best friends soulmates and with buckynat and the red room.........  goddd there really should’ve been a black widow movie after cap2. like that was The Perfect Spot for a black widow movie, it’s really a crime that there isn’t one, and even if they make a black widow movie now, it’ll definitely be too little too late.

33. like..... a for effort..... for that female heroes girl power.... ughhhh.... scene, i guess, but that. does. not. cut. it. when you have just killed natasha

34. things i really wished they would say in some perfect moments: “hail hydra” “avengers assemble!” “i am iron man”. things they did say in those moments: “hail hydra” “avengers assemble” “i am iron man”, gogssgddd that was perfect (ok i also really did wish steve would’ve said the “i could do this all day” in the fight but couldn’t say bc the movie had just made fun of that.. i’m kinda sad but haha it’s not that big of a deal, maybe if he hadnt said it in civil war which i dont like but well...)

35. haha people are already complaining about the steve going back thing and how it’s definitely not moving on and erasing character development or whatever and HA. i finally got my stevepeggy dance i don’t care about anything else i am so happy!!!!!

36. i am so glad i managed to avoid any spoilers bc i hear that there was some pretty massive ones going around??¿?¿?

37. also: ok from here on out i am not here for any of you negative nancys complaining (probably very reasonable complaints idec) about the movie, god i really wish it was 2012 again

38. in final thoughts: i absolutely loved it and i love that it turns out that i’m apparently still very much marvel trash........ if natasha hadn’t died, especially in such a bullshit way, i would’ve been able to overlook everything else that was kinda meh about the movie and just purely and blindly loved it. i still did love it, a lot, but now there’s that bitter aftertaste.....

ok now, maybe that’s enough rambling and repeating myself....... i’m going to need to see it again asap

//EDIT

39. I FORGOT TO MENTION IT BC I FORGOT ABOUT IT but goooooooooodddd i loved nebula and tony playing that game in the beginning and tony letting nebula win ääääää

#i say #endgame #endgame spoilers #me = apparently still marvel trash™

[its-stranger-than-you-think]

I was tagged by the Queens: @not-reddie and @its-reddie-bitch

1. last drink?: Idk man, I haven’t had anything to drink since yesterday morning I believe lmfaooooo

2: last phone call?: My best friend

3. last text message?: “hey hoe, what up?”

4. last song you listened to?: Visions of Gideon by Sufjan Stevens

5. last time you cried?: Like two days ago because of a fanfic I read 😭

6. dated someone twice?: haven’t officially dated anyone once so nah

7. kissed someone and regretted it: nope

8. been cheated on?: again, never dated anyone so nope, but idk why they would EVER because I’m a goddamn catch 🤷🏼‍♀️

9. lost someone special?: too many to count

10. been depressed?: been??

11. gotten drunk and thrown up?: you mean that one time I drank half of a big ass bottle of vodka by myself even though I’m a fuckin lightweight? Then yes

fave colors

12. Lavender

13. The orangy-yellow color of a sunset/sunrise

14. Forest green

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends?: Tons! A lot of them I’ve gotten to know on here and they’re all so nice and beautiful and I love them

16. fallen out of love?: that’s assuming I actually have a heart that’s capable of love in the first place... lol kidding... or am I?

17. laughed until you cried?: literally every time I talk to my best friend Ashley

18. found out someone was talking about you?: HAHA YES FUCK THOSE FAKE ASS BITCHES

19. met someone who changed you?: oh, for sure

20. found out who your friends are?: my dog and my best friend :)

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list?: Facebook who?

general:

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl?: again, Facebook who?

23. do you have any pets?: my dog Gracie. What an angel ❤️

24. do you want to change your name?: yes, i hate my name

25. what did you do for your last birthday?: I have no idea, I can’t remember

26. what time did you wake up today?: 5:30. My ass never sleeps

27. what were you doing at midnight last night?: listening to music

28. what is something that you can’t wait for?: MY LIFE TO FINALLY GET ITSELF TOGETHER! IT’S LONG OVERDUE

30. what are you listening to right now?: Doves In The Wind by SZA. Literally a song about pussy; it’s fucking fantastic. HIGHLY SUGGEST

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom?: probably, idek,

32. something getting on your nerves?: Everything is, but what’s new?

33. most visited website?: AO3, Tumblr and Twitter

34. hair color?: really dirty blonde

35. long or short hair: long

36. do you have a crush on someone?: nah

37. what do you like about yourself?: I like that I can understand people. I’m a very good listener, so if y’all need anyone to talk to, I’m your girl. I’m also very loyal.

38. want any piercings: I only have a single piercing on my ear and I had my nose pierced at one point, but I definitely want my nipples, bellybutton, cartilage and a lot more

39. blood type: I think I’m O neg but I’m not sure

40. nicknames: my name is Courtney, so people like to call me Short Court because everyone thinks it’s so hilarious to make fun of me for being short. Fuckers.

41. relationship status: single

42. zodiac: Taurus

43. pronouns: she // her

44. fave tv show: I don’t watch a ton of tv, but Stranger Things (obvi), Jane the Virgin, New Girl, How To Get Away With Murder, etc

45. tattoos: Me and my best friend wanna get matching ones so hopefully soon

46. right or left handed: right

47. ever had surgery: I had to get cataracts removed as an infant so yep

48 . piercings: one on my ear and I used to have my nose pierced

49. sport: I don’t play anything because I’m an uncoordinated little shit but figure skating, dancing and gymnastics are so cool

50. vacation: I went to the U.K., France and Spain two years ago and it was the best time of my life. I would love to go back.

51. trainers: my converse or my Air Force 1s 🔥🔥

more general

52. eating: I HAVE NOT ATE SINCE YESTERDAY I AM STARVING

53. drinking: nothing

54. im about to watch: nothing

55. waiting for: some fucking food

56. want: to be with my best friend but she lives like 5 states away fml :(

57. get married? I mean it would really depend on the person obviously

58. career: I’m studying nursing but idk if it’s the thang for me, we shall see

59. hugs or kisses: Why not both? I need love

60. lips or eyes: eyes for sure. eyes are so expressive and gorgeous

61. shorter or taller: taller since I’m so short

62. older or younger: older

63. nice arms or stomach: Honey, i can have both

64. hookup or relationship: depends

65. troublemaker or hesitant: usually hesitant, but I have my moments

66. kissed a stranger: no but that sounds fun tbh

67. drank hard liquor: I have but I get super fucked up so yeah not again

68. lost glasses: my eyesight is SHIT so when I was younger I had really thick glasses that magnified my eyes so fucking much and I hated them so I would “lose” them all the time and I ran around blind until my mom got me contacts

69. turned someone down: ha, yes

70. sex on the first date: yeah dude why not let my slutty self free?

71. broken someones heart: not that I know of

72. had your heart broken: I’m surprised it’s still beating if that tells you something

73. been arrested: no, but I almost have

74. cried when someone died: uh yeah? Who wouldn’t?

75. fallen for a friend: a few times

do you believe in…

76. yourself: I’m trying, I really am

77. miracles: not really

78. love at first sight: I may be a sap, but no

79. santa clause: fuck no, if I ever saw an old, ugly, fat, white man crawl through a dusty ass chimney I would beat his ass with a chair

80. kiss on a first date: hell yeah

81. angels: I think there are people who watch over you; whether they’re “righteous” or not is up for debate

82. best friend’s name: Ashley 💖

83. eye color: my eyes are two different colors, so my left is a bright blue and my right is darkish green

84. fave movie: THE LION KING

85. fave actor: can it be an actress?? Cause Viola Davis is incredible

I TAG: I have no idea who to tag lmfaooo but

@hypochondriac-and-a-trashmouth @ew-its-tozier @ashyfluff-lessthan3 @sunflowerstozier @bubbleteasophiee @sarcastic-pumpkin

[the-last-airbadger]

My 2017

The end of the year is in sight, and so it is time to, once again, write a long post in which I look back on the past year and get all sentimental and stuff. It’s fun! And since I’ve kinda made an annual tradition out of it, why the fuck not?

I’m gonna be using the same questions/categories as I did last year for maximum comparison (and so I know what to write about), so if you want to read last year’s post, I’ll link it here: (x)

The Beginning of 2017 vs. Now I definately think that there’s a huge difference between the beginning of the year and the end. When this year started, I was sooooo busy with school. I had multiple test weeks coming up and I was behind on almost all my subjects. The stress of all that stuff caused me to feel really unhappy, and apart from that my transition also wasn’t really moving forward. And now? Now I’m five months on T, finished with school, and even though work is still stressfull at the moment and I’m still not really happy, I can say that I’m a lot happier than I was at the beginning of the year. I also feel like at the beginning of the year I was kinda stuck in a negative mindset. I felt lonely all the time, and I had just started to realise that I was a very insecure person and I felt really lonely and busy and isolated and I just wasn’t in a good place, ya know? And I feel like in the past year I’ve become better at dealing with my insecurities and with jealousy, which has increased the value I have of myself, which has definately improved my quality of life. 

So, to summarise it: Since the beginning of the year I’ve reached multiple of my goals, reached some milestones and, most importantly, I’ve grown as a person.

Best things about 2017 So many good things happened this year! I don’t even know where to begin, so I’ll try to start with things that happened at the beginning of the year and just see where it leads me. I hope I won’t forget anything lmao.

Okay, so first of all, Voltron season 2, 3 and 4 were all released this year! Three seasons! That’s crazy! I didn’t really enjoy the last two that much, but damn, season 2 was really fun! Other tv shows that got new seasons this year were Stranger Things, Doctor Who (I can’t believe I’ve only finished the tenth doctors seasons this year! I can’t believe I’ve not been into Doctor Who for more than a year! It’s so much funn!!!!), Brooklyn Nine-Nine (which reminds me, I started watching “the good place” this year! Amazing show!), and Sense8! Speaking of sense8, I only started watching it in the beginning of this year, and it has easily become one of my favourite shows ever! I’m so glad I got to watch this show this year! 

Then in february, I discovered the band One Ok Rock, which is one of my favourite bands at the moment. It’s crazy to think I haven’t even known them for a year, because they’ve become such an integral part of my music library. And so have Lindsey Stirling and Ed Sheeran by the way! I went to a Lindsey Stirling concert in March and have become a huge fan of her latest album “brave enough” ever since then. And Ed Sheeran’s album “Devide” had some amazing songs on it that I connected with instantly and have helped me through some hard times. I really can’t believe I’ve only been listening to these songs for like nine months or something. It feels like it’s been forever. The same goes for a certain musical genre by the way, but we’ll get into that later!!

Then in may, two amazing things happened, first of all I got to perform on a huge stage with my choir, and met some famous dutch people there! Roel van Velzen for example! That was crazy! We were on TV!!! 

The second thing is, I finished my exams and was done with school! This made me feel sooooo much happier. I instantly just felt a lot better and suddenly had time to do stuff I liked, like read and write and play the piano. Honestly, those months (end of may - end of august) were some of the best months I’ve had in a loooong time. I wish I could go back sometimes lmao.

So yeah, I graduated, turned eightteen, went to Ireland for the first time. All of that stuff was amazing. Then, on the 28th of june, I went to the hospital and got one of the best surprises I’ve ever gotten. I COULD FINALLY, FINALLY, GO ON T! If I had to pick my best day of the year, I’d probably choose this day. Testosterone has already improved my life so much and I’ve only been on it for five months. I can’t imagine how much it will change me in the next year and I also can’t wait to find out!!

Oh, and after that, I GOT INTO KPOP! I started really listening to Day6 during my vacation to ireland, but around the end of august/beginning of september, I started to get really really into SHINee, and in extention, to kpop. Honestly, this might sound dramatic, but Day6 and SHINee have added so much to my life. Their music and just their personalities never fail to make me smile, and they bring me comfort when I feel down. Since a few weeks, BTS has also been added to that list. Their music and the members just really mean a lot to me, so I’d say kpop is definately one of the best things that happened to me this year. 

Then I got a job in september, and I can’t really remember if anything big has happened since then. The only thing I can really think of is I SAW JACKSEPTICEYE LIVE! That evening was such a fun evening and it was awesome to finally get to see one of my heroes in person and to be in the same room with him and see that he’s actually real, haha. I don’t think I’ve screamed that much anywhere else this year. 

Oh, and I also went to my first pride this year! Sadly, I couldn’t stay there very long because of work, but it was amazing and I can’t wait to go again!

I also started my youtube channel this year, which is cool. I really love making content for it, but unfortunately it takes a lot of time that I usually don’t have. I hope I’ll be able to keep it up for another year!

So, I think that’s it for this year. If you look at it like this it’s actually quite a lot of positive stuff! That’s always good.

OH AND HOW COULD I FORGET I went to london with my mom this year! It was only two nights but it was amazing and I had loads of fun there! 

And another thing I wanted to add is I feel like I’ve become a lot closer with my friends this past year. I guess that’s just what happens when you know them for a year longer, but idk. We see eachother a lot less than last year and despite that we’ve only become closer and I think that’s a really amazing thing.

OH, and I started to watch the You’re So Brave podcast by Chase Ross & Aaron Ansuini and oh my god have these dudes helped me a lot in the past year. Thank you guys so so much!!!

My resolutions for 2017? I haven’t looked at my resolutions for this year since I posted them last year... oops. But I remember quite a few of them and I believe I’ve achieved some of them so I’m just going to copy-paste them here and adress them all individually

Go on Testosterone, for real this time - Did that!! I went on T on the 28th of July 2017 and am now Five months and Three days on T!

Write more! - .... well I guess I failed that one. I wrote exactly four pages in the past year

Save money and buy new jeans, flannels and hoodies - I did save money, and bought my favourite flannel, hoodie and jeans this year, so I guess that counts

Finish School! - DID THAT

Read a lot of books! - Sadly, I didn’t manage to achieve my reading goal on goodreads. I only read 22 books this year when I wanted to read 35. Last year, I read about the same amount, so I’d count this as a fail.

Stay Hydrated! - Idek if I did this lmao. I did become more aware of what I’m eating and what I should eat more and less to stay healthy, so I’m going to count this as a win

Try to make my tumblr blog a safe and positive place for everyone - I’ll let you guys be the judge of that

Stay positive - I’ve definately tried this, so that’s good enough

Try to be the best person I can be - I’ve become a lot more self aware the past year, and I did find out what my flaws were and how to work on them, so I think I did this.

Fight my insecurities - As I’ve stated in the beginning of this post, I think I’ve become better at dealing with them, so I’d say yeah, I did that!

Reach 200 followers on tumblr!! - Did that! I’ve got about 280 followers now!!

So yeah, overall I think I did pretty good in the past year! Better than I expected at least haha

Expectations for 2018 Okay, let’s see. I’m expecting I’ll keep my job until around june/july. I’ll turn nineteen in june, and I’m going to see Paramore, Markiplier, Ed Sheeran and Dan and Phil live this year! Really looking forward to that!! Then in september I’m going to start university, and I think that I’m going to have Top-Surgery somewhere between september and december of this year. Apart from that I don’t really know what to expect. I think university will be quite easy for me education-wise, and hard social-wise, since I’m not good around strangers and might have some slight social anxiety. But apart from that I don’t really have a clear vision for the future. I am probably going to start learing how to drive so I might get my driver’s liscence this year. Who knows? It’ll be a mystery until I’ve lived it guys.

2018 Resolutions? I am feeling ambitious rn so I’m probably gonna set the bar too high but oh well who cares let’s do this

Finally decide what to study

Get Top-Surgery

Write at least 100 pages of a story

Accomplish my reading challenge on goodreads (I’m gonna try 35 books again)

Start University

Make new friends

Stop with my acting classes

Learn how to drive

Improve my drawing skills (maybe make a comic?)

Reach 300 followers on Tumblr

Get more than 20 subs on Youtube and consistently create content for my channel

Learn Divenire on the Piano

Dye my hair

Continue to shower every day (Hygene is important!)

Start working out/exercising regularely

Get new glasses

And yeah, that’s it! I hope you’ve all enjoyed going along on this journey through my past year with me. Looking back on the past year is always one of my favourite parts of new year’s eve. It’s so good to look back and see all that you’ve accomplished in a year and it just makes me really sentimental and stuff and I like that. 

Anyways, I hope you all have a great evening, and I’ll see you guys next year!

#personal #idk how else to tag this lol

[calzonekestis]

@agent13: Jackie hasn’t been active in quite a while, but she’s always been kind to me and her blog has has A+ opinions and content. 

@ar-se-ne: IDEK how long I’ve been following Cristian, but he’s a really nice guy with whom I have similar interests. He’s also someone that I’ve kind of of been inspired by in some ways. I don’t want to get too personal information, but it involves introspection and self improvement and yeah. I’m proud of him. He should be proud of himself.

@chujo-hime: I remember like circa 2012-2013 I had a ~moment~ because the webmaster of FYBN followed me. Chujo always has quality content, and is someone I respect for being very genuine and respectful. If something’s drawn her ire or made her bitter, she has a reason for it, and can write a solid meta on why it’s bullshit. At the same time, she’s someone who I’ve looked to when I consider how to handle my own fandom disagreements. It’s not worth arguing with people on the internet, it’s never fun. So long as people enjoy what they enjoy? Stay in their lane and let others do the same? We can all get along~~~

@cimikat: Katie is another person who I don’t even remember following. I can’t really remember my tumblr experience before her, though? I can say without any hyperbole though that she’s probably the nicest person I’ve ever encountered on this website? Literally, I can’t think of a single time I’ve seen her be salty. Upset and disappointed, sure, but she doesn’t wallow in negativity the way some people do and have in the past. If she enjoys something, she’s enthusiastic about it. If she no longer enjoys it? You won’t see her b*tch about it. She’s just very upbeat.

@dazzledfirestar: Daz shares my love of certain villains (Sin and Crossbones) while fully recognizing they’re deplorable human beings. That’s just one of the more superficial reasons I respect her. She’s another person who’s also genuine, and whom by following I feel like I’ve actually learned a lot? And I actually like to learn. Ignorance isn’t always mean spirited, and in the past I’ll admit I’ve been an ignorant white boy. Not that I was prejudice, there was just a lot I was either blind to or unaware of.  I’ve learned a lot about Romani culture by following Daz. A lot of history, a lot about the struggles and persecution they still face to this day. I also learned lot about the LGBT community; which honestly was a big help when I was trying to figure out/accept my bisexuality.

@diaryofawriter: What do I even say about you? believe we met because we both RP’d in the same fandoms and enjoyed the same content. Comics, OUAT, Harry Potter, and Star Wars. She’s both listened to me flail or rant countless times, either feigning or expressing genuine interest… for that I’m truly appreciative. She’s also helped me when it comes to letting go of things that are no longer fun or enjoyable for me (OUAT) and focus on the things that do bring me joy. A role model in that sense. >.>

@diisnerd: Leah. Leah was someone I met though a mutual friend, and while they’re closer than I am with her… I let me just say I have so much fucking respect for Leah. She’s just a good, loyal, protective, and caring friend. We have a lot of the same interests, too. We don’t talk all that often about them, but when we do it’s always an enjoyable conversation.

@dreamimpcssiblethings: Kath. Jesus. You know how much you mean to me, I should hope. You’re one of my best friends. It’s not even that we like a lot of the same things (we do) but you’re just very hard not to like? You’re super intelligent, super passionate. Be it about fandom things, classic literature, or just life. If one good thing came out of the rise and fall of my OUAT fandom, it was meeting you. All the salt is worth it for knowing you~

@ilikethequiet: Ally was one of the first people I met in the OUAT fandom, via a mutual friend/aquiantence. She’s a wizard when it comes to making edits and graphics. She’s someone with whom I’ve been salty on many an occasion, and I lured her into the iZombie fandom with me when our favorite actors transitioned over to that show. She’s just a delight. She also somehow made an AU graphic for a trashy ~problematic~ hateship look classy? Real friends hunt down topless screencaps so they can make you smutty collages for your birthday.

@jjoelswatch: Sarah is one of the first people I can remember following on tumblr. She’s another person where I wouldn’t recognize my dash without her. I’m starting to sound like a broken record, but I really respect her. She’s just a good person, very down to Earth and very witty. We don’t talk that much, but it’s always very pleasant when we do? Sarah was the first one to reach out and respond when I came out as bi. I’m still not out to my family. When I posted that little confession, I didn’t know what to expect. I simultaneously cared and didn’t care how people responded. It was weird, because it was something I had tried to deny and rationalize for so long. It’s something that no one should even care about, but Sarah empathized and realized it was kind of a big deal for me? Her reassurance that I wasn’t alone, even in such a short and concise message meant a lot. She’s one of my favorite mutals tbh.

@kennyhoemega: Bethany is a Goth Goddess. I’m not just saying that because she demanded the best compliment. On a superficial level, she’s just really pretty?? Now that’s out of the way, let me tell you legitimate reasons why she’s one of my favorite people to follow. She’s got great taste in music, she loves Star Wars, dabbles in Marvel and Harry Potter. You see a theme here with people I follow. She just also tends to reblog really neat things unrelated to those? I’ve gotten into astrology because of her. It’s mostly her fault that I’ve started watching wrestling again, bc there’s nothing good on TV and her passion is contagious and the gifs she reblogs are wild. She also has the best tags out of anyone I follow, bar none. I don’t even know when I first followed her either, around 2012 or so, but I know that it was absolutely 100% Sarah’s fault. Thank you, Sarah. TBH the first time I remember interacting with Bethany was when I added a gif and sarcastic comment to one of her salty posts about people trying to woobify Brock Rumlow. The next day, I realized this was likely not the best way to make a first impression? Fortunately she assured me that she got it, and that we were cool. Which is a relief, because as I’ve told her (and IDK if she believes me) she’s probably one of the coolest people I follow? It’s come to light that neither of us are big talkers, so we don’t actually talk that much… but she’s really rad. IDK when it started but she’s consistently been in my tumblr crushes for ages. Lots of mutual reblogging, again, lots of respect. She’s witty and intelligent. That’s not butt-kissin’, I’ve seen her post about certain tests and looked them up out of curiosity and wow. Yeah. Bethany also has the longest compliment, so that should make her happy. There was something about my needing a nuclear bunker if she wasn’t on this list. She deserves it though, she’s another one of my faves.

@kittenspawn: Nichole is my unofficial big sister. I say that as someone who actually has a big sister. She messaged me in 2012 with questions about Bucky and Natasha, and from that point on she was screwed. She got me into Hellboy in turn, but I like to think I’ve thoroughly corrupted her and caused her to spend far too much money on certain things. Nichole is someone who I can go weeks without talking to, and yet we can fall right back into conversation as if we talked the night before. She’s been a terrible enabler over the years, but she’s also been there for me during some difficult times and when I’ve done very stupid and questionable things. I know she’ll say I’ve been there for her as well, but the scales are seriously tipped here. When I need advice, or when I need to talk to someone about something serious… she’s the person I go to. I can always count on her, and she’s pretty much family at this point.

@ohmygil: Gil. I think I found you through Davis? You’re just a very sensible person, and very rational about a lot of things. It’s refreshing to see that on the internet these days. You’re someone who I don’t think I’ve ever had a actual ‘discussion’ with, but I’m including you here because I really enjoy your presence on my dash. I stopped reading DC regularly with the New 52, and pretty much all my DC intake these days is absorbed through your blog. You also get points for liking Superman. Some people think he’s too powerful, or a big boy scout, and while I’ve never regularly collected his titles I am a fan.

@prof-anity: …You know, I was tempted to leave you off this list just to be a dick. Yours would be the longest entry, so I’m keeping it short because what is there to even say? How much needs to be said? Seven years ago you met a bitter teenage douchebag on a message board. You made the mistake of accepting his friendship when he reached out to you. You’ve stuck with me through highs and lows, man. It’s one of those relationships again, where we may not talk every day. We may not be up to date on the details and goings on in each other’s lives… but you said it yourself. Our friendship has been one of the best constants in the past seven years. A third of your life, btw. Isn’t that depressing? You are, truly, the best friend I have ever had. One day I’m going to meet you, hug you, and then insult you to your face. You’re truly a brother to me. I love you.

@readytocomply: Stef! Stef is a delight. Always pleasant, always fun. She’s also super creative? She makes great edits, great cosplays, and is just pretty damn great over all. Stef is another person who I try to model myself after when it comes to shipping things. Re: Multi-Shipping. Stef ships Steve and Bucky. I do not. Stef also ships Bucky and Natasha. Stef respects canon and appreciates Sharon Carter. All this may sound inane but I’m glad I didn’t meet Stef until I did, because 2013 Tim might have been a little asshole re his ships and missed out befriending a great person because of his own stubborness… that could cross into douchebaggery. Stef has quality content on her blog at all times. Sebastian Stan. Marvel. Star Wars. Mark Hamill.. Harry Potter. Tron. Just general film. Chicken nuggets. Stef is a quality person with a quality blog.

@rocktheholygrail: Dana is someone I met through the iZombie fandom, and she is another wizard. A gif wizard, who has too often indulged my requests or suggestions. She’s another person whose enthusiasm is contagious. I was able to convince her to watch the entirety of Prison Break (save the revival) in less than a month before it was taken off Netflix. I don’t think I ever apologized for that. Dana also is trash tho, bc like me, her favorite iZombie character is the trashiest. I say that tongue in cheek, at least the first part. It’s really been great though to have someone who recognize a character as both human and horrible, and who is capable of watching and enjoying them despite their being problematic. If this was another fandom, I’d expect to be judged or ostracized, but instead I’m enabled once again.

@swanmagic: Gia is another person who doesn’t post on tumblr much (at least her personal) these days, but I’m including her because she’s been one of my favorite RP partners for years and we still talk from time to time on twitter. She’s just a great writer, great person, great friend. She’s another person who has excellent (and varied) musical taste.

@thealbooty: I met Alberto through Davis. It’s another thing where I don’t remember the circumstances, there was just one day where suddenly Alberto was in my life. Alberto is just a good guy… and I just mean good. He’s pure. If Davis is Spongebob, I’m Squidward and Alberto is Patrick. Only not as dumb. We don’t talk as much these days which makes me sad, but I love him too. Back in the day the three of us used to have group Skype chats and watch movies together. There was one day when Davis couldn’t make it or wasn’t online, and he and I just watched Hellboy and chatted for a few hours. That’s when Alberto went from being a friend of a friend to my friend. I’m glad he’s my friend.

@thejazzdalek: Max is another person, like Gil, who I’ve never really had a discussion with? He’s followed me for ages though, both on tumblr and on twitter and I appreciate that. I don’t really know him that well after all this time, embarrassingly. He seems like a nice guy, though. Big into Doctor Who, OUAT, DC, Marvel, just sci-fi and fantasy in general.

@timelessmulder: Emily-Alice is someone who I’ve been mutuals with since like 2012 I think. I don’t even know if we’re in the same fandoms anymore, but we keep following each other regardless. Over the years we’ve discussed everything from OUAT to DC, and these days when we talk it’s mostly to pick apart The Flash. She’s someone who has been with me for ages though, and has seen things.

@uhohjonsnow: So Betty is one of the first friends I actually made on tumblr when I engaged in fandom? I was an obnoxious teenage white boy who thought he was straight and acted like it, and she tolerated me anyway. Again, she’s someone who was witness to a lot of nonsense. We really were dicks to each other, lmao. I adore her though, bc she really is sweet and laid back. We went for years without talking,not due to any falling out, but we just drifted apart. She actually took a year off tumblr and recently returned, and we reconnected. She also accidentally deleted her blog and started fresh, so um, go follow her!

@uminoko: We’ve been mutuals for like years, and she’s just a nice person? Again, that’s a pathetic compliment, but it is true. She’s also another individual who I feel I’ve learned from by following? Part of that has to due with her being a former civil rights lawyer, but beyond that she’s just yet another smarty pants who I don’t talk to that much. She also  messaged me privately when I came out, and made me laugh when I needed it. Also, she’s an actual Russian who is a fan of Black Widow and Winter Soldier.

@uncleclustersthirdbrain: Donnie. This might be a little weird, because Donnie and I only reconnected like two weeks ago after three years of not really talking to each other? Again, there’s no bad blood, and he deserves to be on here. I’ve actually known him for five years, we met through his girlfriend Morgan. Donnie’s another person who has seen things, re seen me at my worst. Most obnoxious, outspoken, salty, dickish… and so on. I’ve always sort of looked up to him, though? Back when 17 going on 18 year old Tim met him, there was a sort of ‘notice me sempai’ thing going on. He’s yet another person who is too cool for me. In spite of toolish tendencies, there were times when Donnie reached out to make sure I was okay when I was being dramatic and having anxiety attacks over damn comic books. It sounds ridiculous, and it was, but at the time comics were my escape and how I dealt with a lot of tough shit I was going through. I was invested. Heavily invested, to an unhealthy degree. He’s just a good person who cares about his friends, and people in general. He’s also a fucking brilliant writer, who just recently put out his first comic. So I’m going to use this as another excuse to pimp it for him. Not because he’s my friend, but because I’m a selfish bastard who wants to read more and wants you to give him money so he can make more. He makes no personal profit from it, all the money goes towards paying his artists and the production. I’ve pretty much walked away from buying monthly comics, but as I’ve told Donnie, this is one I would pull. The first issue of And The Hare had some of the best dialogue I’ve read in a comic in easily the last year. At least.

@xeleyan-tequila: I met Chelsea through the OUAT fandom, and like me she gave up on the show a long time ago. She’s another person I don’t really talk to that much these days, but she’s a lovely person with a lovely blog who posts a little bit of everything. There are personal details to our relationship I won’t get into bc it’s no one’s business, and though we’re still friendly we sort of fell out of touch. I enjoy following her though, and she’s a wonderful human being.

#cw long post #long post for ts

[stillkillinmehollis]

ya killin me Hollis... so for that 1-98

99 Gay-ish Asks [x]

1) how tall are you?

like 5ft 3in. not tall at all

2) what is your body type?

I’m not sure if i fall under the “husky” category? 

3) what is your favorite part about your body?

my legs are pretty solid and pretty brolic, so I guess we can go with that.

4) is your current hair color your natural hair color?

Negative.

5) are you more outgoing or more shy?

Definitely shy. But at work, I can sometimes fake the “outgoing” pretty okay

6) are you more femme or butch?

…. uhh… butch..ish… i guess?

7) are you tol or smol?

hella smol

8) wine mom or vodka aunt?

i mean.. I don’t drink so… neither…

9) weird habit?

I crack my knees

10) favorite meme?

oh man, too many to decide

11) do you sing in the shower?

not really anymore.

12) ever used a bow and arrow?

Merida has shown me a thing or two

13) are/were you a theatre kid?

never

14) have you ever seen a broadway musical?

In no particular order, I’ve seen: Wicked, Beauty & The Beast, Grease, and Mamma Mia

15) do you think musicals are cheesy?

i’m neutral

16) have you ever been a part of a protest or a march?

I did do the March For Life in high school (my stand on the situation has since changed).

17) favorite Cards Against Humanity Card?

it has been so long since I’ve last played CAH, that I don’t actually remember

18) last movie you watched?

Shrek.

19) behind the camera or in front of it?

i live behind a camera.

20) favorite tv show?

Bob’s Burgers is the show I currently watch most, so we’ll go with that. 

21) meaning behind your url

it’s line from Carmilla

22) reason you joined tumblr

I think an at the time Buddy of mine told me about it and I should sign up. and i was like “aiite”

23) who’s your closest tumblr friend?

Zach, Laura, Kelli, Sky

24) what’s something most people love that you hate?

being the center of attention

25) have you ever taken narcotics?

I’m not big on drugs to any capacity… and avoid taking any if I don’t need to… and idek what actually is considered “narcotics”… so i really have no idea ?

26) have you had sex?

I have not.

27) have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

nothing “bad”, I don’t think. idk, I was never that “bad” of a kid.

28) worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told?

i’ve never told this story to anyone before, but i completely forgot about it until right now. So in college, I told a professor that my (i think it was a final?) had gotten ruined by rain that got in my bag, and I tossed the papers. In truth, either I hadn’t done it or i hadn’t finished it. 

29) describe your passion without mentioning it.

what am i even passionate about these days ?

30) describe your best friend.

His name is Zach, he was one of my college roommates. He’s the Felix to my Sarah, my baby brother in every way possible. He’s always there when I need him, and my personal cheerleader and biggest supporter. He’s also patiently impatient about me getting a girlfriend :p 

31) give us one thing about you that no one knows.

please refer to question 28.

32) how do you feel right now?

I’m getting kinda sleepy… It is 3:35am after all. and I’m only not even a full 1/3rd of the way through these questions 

33) what is your biggest fear?

Bees. Needles. Being Abandoned by people. Feelings.

34) what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Ocean Avenue, by Yellowcard. I have no idea why, but it gets me so hype while I’m driving, and gets me to pull my windows down and blast my music.

35) what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?

applying for the Disney College Program one last time.

36) have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end?

haven’t we all at least once ?

37) something you fantasize about.

having an awesome girlfriend some day

38) last time you cried and why

a few days ago I cried out of frustration as I’m trying to figure out my living situation

39) what was the last thing that made you laugh?

the fact that you sent me as many questions as I sent you

40) do you really, truly miss someone right now?

it’s been five months since I lost my Pup, and I truly painfully miss her on the daily

41) who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

Zach.

42) the last time you felt broken?

a few nights ago, due to something that was said in a one on one with my leader

43) are you starting to realize anything?

slowly…

44) are you more dominant or more submissive?

I don’t think this applies?

45) i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank)

you can accept me, from my sarcasm to my mental health (or lack there of), everything in between and beyond

46) do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older?

I’m here more for your maturity level then your actual age

47) describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail.

I’m definitely not “in love” with anyone, and I avidly avoid the 5 letter C word. 

48) do you have any kinks?

getting a good night’s sleep

49) first thing you notice in a person?

between their smile and their eyes

50) how can someone win your heart?

sarcasm

51) been rejected by a crush?

ugh, i hate the C word but yes, yes I have.

52) have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?

sure have !

53) would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

nope

54) is trust a big issue for you?

huge.

55) did you hang out with the person you like recently?

nope.

56) is confidence cute?

extremely

57) what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

i wouldn’t say anything… like if someone else makes them happy, i’m not gonna come between that

58) would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

no way

59) does the person you have feelings for right now know you do?

………..moving on

60) ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

my entire existence is generally embarrassing to anyone, so .. yeah lol

61) do you want to get married?

I’d like to.

62) worst thing you’ve ever done?

i have no idea what the number one worst thing is… and honestly I don’t even want to know

63) three things that turn you on.

when someone can confidently take charge of the room, a cute laugh, and sarcasm. (also, just want it to be known, none of these are “sexual” turn ons, but things that can turn me on to a person)

64) who do you hate?

that’s a story for another day

65) favorite term of endearment?

Dude (thats an endearing term, right?)

66) who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening?

ohman… i’m not sure. Natalia Livingston (Emily Quartermaine, GH), maybe? Eva LaRue (Maria Santos, AMC)? Tamara Bruan (Carly Corinthos, GH)? 

The soap ladies were/are pretty, and I was a wee gay, okay ?

67) intimidating girls or kind girls?

in fairness… i feel like all girls are intimidating to some degree or another.

68) what do you look for in a possible partner?

someone who makes me smile and laugh, someone who keeps me on my toes, someone who pushes me to be better. someone i can have fun with, be sarcastic with, and someone who can be sarcastic and witty back at me.

69) do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls?

the personality behind the girl speaks volumes… also has a MAJOR affect on if i find her attractive or not.

70) are you good at flirting?

not even a little bit

71) who was the first person you came out to?

Tiffany.

72) do you have any friends who are wlw?

thankfully, most of them are !

73) is your crush wlw?

i hate the C word, but every girl I’ve had my eye on for one reason or another has turned out to be WLW.

74) last person to make you reconsider your sexuality?

i’ve honestly always been ace, whether I knew it or not.

75) write a short love poem to your crush/self?

i’m as good of a poet as I am expressing my feelings

spoiler: I’m not.

76) do you fall in love easily?

Situation depending, I can fall in LIKE or INFATUATION easily. but definitely not love.

77) is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

what’s a gay without some past trauma

78) are you good at hiding your feelings?

depends on the person and the feelings (but mostly, yes, I think so.)

79) are you a forgiving person?

For the most part, no. but it also depends on how bad you messed up… I can be, for the right person and the right circumstances.

80) what is your “type?”

idk if i have a strict “type”. 

81) fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours?

the secret third option: play with her hair until she falls asleep in mine

82) tall girls or short girls?

yes

83) hugs or kisses?

i’m not always the greatest at physical contact, and the idea of my first kiss scares the actual shit out of me … so i guess hug for now?

84) twirl her around or get twirled?

please just me play with your hair

85) tummy kisses or thigh kisses?

uhhh… tummy ? i guess ? like i’m not out here trying to get in your thighs

86) hairline kisses or neck kisses?

is a hairline kiss the same a forehead kiss ? 

87) play with her hair or stroke her tummy?

i refer you back to #84

88) making out or soft kisses?

soft

89) hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist?

i’d probs prefer waist… i guess?

90) how confident are you in your sexuality?

110% confident i’m not sexually attracted to anyone

91) when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach?

my dude. Pal. Bro. your boii gets the whole damn zoo in a stampede-that-killed-Mufasa style, and it turns her stomach upside down, inside out, all around, and breaks it into a million pieces. 

92) have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them?

yes I have, and yes I did.

93) how old were you when you realized you were into girls?

i was littttttle

94) most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl?

exist

95) do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon?

Laura/Carmilla. and yes.

96) what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality?

No One really has ever said anything too aggravating to me about asexuality. 

97) when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter?

last night (Tuesday; July 23rd, ‘19)

98) what is love to you?

Love is… all the songs making sense (throwback reference, I couldn’t resist). Love is “whats mine can be ours”. Love is working together to give it your all.

#askbox #sn0wblinded #- that last question was hard #idk that much about love #tbh though... a lot of these were kind of hard. #Mandii Talks In Tags

[aquarianlights]

I haven't spoken to you since I was 16 or 17? And I'm 20 now and that's kind of wild. I just thought of you out of the blue and it seems you're still struggling, I hope not as badly and I hope you'll be okay soon

Oh my lord wow that is hella wild, dude. It’s been ages! I’m soooooooooo super flattered that you thought of me all these years later. c: That makes me really happy. I didn’t think anyone would remember me like. . .THAT long after talking to me. I must’ve made some sort of impact??? Coolio.

Yeah I mean. . .I’m not really “struggling” anymore; I’m moreso just going through a rough patch. And my birth control implant failing on me is just making things a hell of a lot worse. I’m at my uncles house for another two months or so and he’s just really mean and negative and strict and I’m not good with people who are like that. And he’s really mean to my mom (his older sister) like legit mean. . .and he makes her super stressed out which she then takes out on me so it’s like damn son can’t I get some peace? I mean. Fuck. Okay, I used like no punctuation in that run-on. I’m so sorry. Haha.

And, uh, my father is at home and suffering from like. . .pre-dementia/schizo-psychosis? Something or other? And he’s hearing things and seeing things very vividly and forgetting a lot of things and his car broke so he had to have it towed so he has no way to get off the mountain coz it’s like a ten minute drive off the mountain. And he put his magnum with all the bullets still in it on our neighbours porch and the police have it now and??? Idek man. ._. Someone called a social worker for old people on him so they’re evaluating him weekly. So at least SOMEONE is doing something??? Idk. But I’m most worried about the animals. . .like holy fuck if ANYTHING happens to my baby or the other animals, I will legit kill him myself. My dad and I are NOT close and he p much hates me. So I just. . .ugh. Fuck. My pommy comes first in my life. . .before ANYTHING AND ANYONE. Before my lovers, before friends, before family, before school, before work, before career goals, BEFORE EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE. If I lose my baby pommy? I’d kill myself. I’d legit kill myself. I cannot deal with life without Echo and being so far away from him right now is the hardest fucking thing. The only reason I even TALK to my dad is to say “How is Echo? Is he eating? Are you feeding him? Are you brushing him every other day? Are you playing with him? Put him on the phone. Let me hear him bark and howl. I want to make sure he’s alive and sounds okay.” Coz I can tell when he sounds stressed/distressed. And the SECOND my baby is in ANY danger, I will legit drive all the way back to NC in one fucking night. I don’t care that it’s impossible. I will not sleep, I will not eat, I will not stop. . .not until I get to my baby. He is life. So if my dad gets taken to a psych ward. . .I’m gonna have to go back there asap and take care of the dogs and cats until my mom or dad gets back. Which wouldn’t be for months, probably. I don’t know if I can stay in that house alone and take care of 4 cats and 2 dogs. Like. . .what if I do something wrong? Fuck. I’ve only had to take care of Echo by myself. . .and Holly and Dax for a little while, but they’re p much independent cats now who don’t need no man. But. . .taking responsibility for all those animals without ANY help??? I’m scared af. I’m so scared of messing up. I probably won’t? But like. . .a dog died on my watch and my CPR didn’t work on him and even though the couch fell on him and shattered his spinal cord or whatever, there still should have been something I could do. But I panicked. . .driving around to the vet coz I didn’t know where one was. My ex fiance finally had to pull me over and take his limp body and find a vet coz I’m just not good at driving and doing CPR simultaneously WHILST finding someplace coz I am DIRECTIONALLY CHALLENEGED and because of that, he died. And I just keep thinking. . .what if one of these precious babys that are mine and I am theirs dies under my watch? Fuck, I would never forgive myself. And god forbid it was Echo. . .holy fuck. So I’m just. . .ugh. And I’m going to become a Veterinarian? Hahahahahaha. . . . . . .I can’t wait until med school calms me down some so I actually have enough knowledge to handle these situations with confidence. I really, really can’t wait for med school. Holy fuck. So much excite!!

BUT ANYWAYS

I’m okay, actually. I quit the antipsychotic I was on and it was the best decision of my fucking life. I am actually capable of being happy now some days. Like. . .some days I’m happy, some days I’m sad, some days I’m depressed and suicidal. . .but I can bring myself around from those latter days because I have power and resources and a bunch of people watching my back now. I have a GREAT support group. My friends/non-blood family is everything to me.

But I mean. . .nah, I’m not really “struggling” anymore. I’m just going through a rather rough time. I’m balancing it out by drowning my sorrows in binging Grey’s Anatomy. Haha.

And, y’know. . .I’m still struggling with a p severe drug addiction, but like. . .it’s slowly getting stable. I’m not taking like 12 tramadol at a time anymore. I’m only taking like 5 or 6. And I don’t take 10mg of ativan except on special occasions. I mostly use my ativan as prescribed now. If you can believe that. . .haha.

BUT HOLY WOW THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR CHECKING UP ON ME LIKE IT MEANS A LOT!!! Fuck. You just made me feel so much happier today. c: And today has been literal hell. . .lmao. So thank you. I really, really, REALLY appreciate this and am totally flattered that you remembered me. And thank you SO MUCH for the well wishes and positive vibes. I really, actually, need them. So thank you. c: I hope you’re doing well, too, whoever you are! You should talk to me more so I can figure out who this is and we can get to know each other again.

[theonstyles]

Eurovision 2017

[scootsmcgoots]

I didn’t get tagged, but someone I follow was like if you feel like it consider yourself tagged! and I do, so I’m doing the thing

LAST

Drink: jasmine tea Phone call: my friend, Wynter Text message: @lilanightingale Song you listened to: Intro- XX Time you cried: Uh, shit. Idk about a week ago

HAVE YOU

Dated someone twice: Regrettably Kissed someone and regretted it: Nahhh Been cheated on: Oh yeah. Sucks Lost someone special: Yeah. My favorite uncle died horribly two days before my bday and that still kinda fucks me up Been depressed: sadly Gotten drunk and thrown up: UGh yeah. But only once and it was after Pride so I think it went pretty well considering Made new friends: totally! Fallen out of love: I love as quickly as I fall out of it. Which is not v good of me Laughed until you cried: As many times as I can Found out someone was talking about you: Yep! Sometimes it’s even the good things said about me too. Which is what I like to focus on.  Met someone who changed you: Defo Found out who your friends are: I have very, very few close friends and I like to keep it that way Kissed someone from your Facebook list: YEs Kissed a stranger: uh no gross Drank hard liquor: I’m a bitch drink and hard liquor kinda girl Lost glasses/contact lenses: numerous times. this one time I had to call one of my roommate into my room to help me find my glasses. they were in the most obvious place too. I’m so fucking blind it hurts Turned someone down: Oh yeah Sex on the first date: NAhhh Broken someone’s heart: ...yeah probs Had your heart broken: not that I can remember so I guess not Been arrested: Nahhh Cried when someone died: I can’t remember Fallen for a friend: NAhh Kissed on the first date: Nopes

GENERAL

List 3 favorite colors: RED, black, and maroon How many Facebook friends do you know in real life: All of them Do you have any pets: Sadly nopers Do you want to change your name: MY last name, but my first is amazing. Good jobs ‘rents. What time did you wake up: Fuck... 9:20 because I was meeting up with someone. But usually after 12 What were you watching at midnight last night: Brooklyn 99 Name something you can’t wait for: I’m a patient person (kinda) When was the last time you saw your mom: Fuck... on Father’s Day What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I’d like to have been financial comfortable (at least) growing up. It was pretty rough, but we made ends meet What are you listening to right now: Brain Food Spotify playlist. It’s my study music. I was actually productive and finished all my work, but it’s still has pretty chill vibes Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Shit...uhm... I actually don't think so. Does Tom’s welcome message on myspace count? Was there a welcome message on myspace?! Something that is getting on your nerves right now: Nothing actually, I mean I wish my tea would stay hotter for longer bc I get distracted easily Most visited website: Tumblr, and blackboard Mole/s: I got one on my cheek, lip, knuckle, knee and probs elsewhere Mark/s: Like scars? I guess, one under my chin, knees have a lot, my arms from animals, my hands from idek. I have tats Childhood dream: Uh...to be happy Do you have a crush on someone: Nopes What do you like about yourself: My metabolism, my height, my jokes, my face most of the time, my nails. I love myself as much as I can and I constantly remind myself I’m beautiful and I don’t live by your (general you) standards. Piercings: Ears. Used to have my belly button but it wouldn’t heal Blood type: O neg Nickname: Hav, or Chukka Relationship status: Single Zodiac: Aries Pronouns: She/her Favorite TV show: UGh fuck. Hannibal def, Brooklyn 99, Master Chef Tattoos: HELL YES BITCHES. I tech, have 4, but one was done in two parts. They are all insects: centipedes (2 separate ones), wasps, bees, a black widow Right or left hand: Righty Surgery: Not yet at least, but I’m counting down those years Hair dyed in different color: My red is growing out and fading to a weird orangey pink, but it looks cool and kinda intentional Sport: Lol no. Luckily, I’m not actually allowed to play competitive sports Vacation: I’ve been to a study abroad to Italy, France, and London, and then another to Zimbabwe which was fucking bomb diggity Pair of trainers: I actually hate shoes with a passion. I wear sandals or go bearfoot if I can get away with it Current and all-time best friend: @lilanightingale is literally the bestest friend I’ve ever had. She’s been with me through some shit and when I say I can literally come to her about anything, I damn well fucking mean it. Ride or Die defo. Love you, boo Eye color: Dark brown with little black specs which I just find charming about myself. Spent a long time hating brown eyes growing up. Favorite movie: The Craft has always had a special place in my heart. 

WHICH IS BETTER?

Hugs or kisses: Hugs and sometimes pecks. I don’t like mouth juices Lips or eyes: Eyes Shorter or taller: either or Nice arms or stomach: Nice forearms and hands make me fucking weak Sensitive or loud: why not both? Hook up or relationship: Relationship. As much as I know and talk about sex, I don’t actually seek it out, which is something new about myself I’ve learned Troublemaker or hesitant: why not both?

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

Yourself: I damn well fucking try. @lilanightingale has to talk sense into me sometimes tho Miracles: a miracle will be not actually having to get my heart replaced in later years. I don’t ever see myself having that kind of money Love at first sight: As much as I’d like to...not really Santa Claus: God no. How creepy is that?

I’m just gonna do the same and say if you feeling this, I’m tagging you in spirit

#me #personal #i'm fucking bored #and these are kinda fun