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#id sell all my things to get him back
atticrissfinch · 6 months
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Meet Me in the Back (joel miller x fem!reader) (18+)
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pairing: sleazy gas station clerk!joel miller x fem!reader summary: When the gas station clerk refuses to sell you alcohol after a shitty day, you need to get creative warnings/tags:  [18+ MINORS DNI] age gap (reader is 21+, Joel is 50s-ish), one-sided daddy!kink, bribery, light exhibitionism, flashing tits, VERY light dubcon (ignored discomfort), size!kink (Joel is massive as per usual), protected piv (an atticrissfinch first, folks. i’m different now, surely), light spanking, mentions of alcohol and smoking, Joel using some cringey dirty talk but he’s old and creepy so it’s hot word count: ~3.8K | ao3 a/n: don’t know where this shit came from but god am I a sucker for a sleazy joel, so here you go friends ❤️❤️ Series Masterlist | Masterlist
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The sickly fluorescents buzz overhead as the equally pitiful chime of the door chirps your entrance. This isn’t your favorite gas station to frequent, but it’s the closest to your apartment and it’s fucking late. You’re exhausted and your brain is whirring from the past week of work. Oh, yeah, and your shitass boyfriend of five months—now ex-boyfriend—forgot to lock his stupid phone tonight to hide the midnight “u up?” texts coming in from his “just friends, I swear” coworker while he was taking what would be his last piss in your bathroom. 
Fuck him. You’re getting drunk. 
The clerk, a grimy-looking fifty-something-year-old in an undone patterned short-sleeve button-up and a cheap generic white tank top underneath, sits on a stool behind the register. You somehow doubt the tacky gold cross around his neck has seen the inside of a church in quite some time. He grunts in greeting, eyes glancing up briefly from the Playboy open between his spread legs. You don’t miss the small double-take he does when he sees a pretty young thing in a skimpy sundress entering his store alone, but you let it slide off. He can look if he wants; you could not give less of a fuck tonight. 
Your flip flops clack against the dingy linoleum as you troll the empty aisles aimlessly, a force of habit despite knowing exactly what you’re here for. You stop at the refrigerated section at the back and scan the options, settling quickly on a pack of Trulys. You hoist it off the shelf and let the door snick shut, a burst of cool air ruffling your dress and igniting a wave of goosebumps on your legs. 
You plop down the case on the front counter and rifle through your purse for your wallet. 
“No can do, sweetheart.”
Your hands freeze in your purse as you look up at the clerk, still perched on his stool but sans the naked centerfold, having left it sloughed open on the counter turned to a busty topless swimsuit model with her tits pressed together between her arms. 
“I’m sorry?” You inquire, pulling your hand out of your bag slowly. “I’m over 21. I have my ID with me.”
The clerk—Joel, you gather from his name badge—nods toward the 12-pack on the counter. “Can’t sell booze after midnight.”
“The fuck? Says who?” You bite back, your irritation from the day seeping into your tone in a way it typically wouldn’t. You’re not usually a bitch to strangers, least of all customer service workers, but it feels like this is some sort of cosmic joke. 
It doesn’t phase Joel in the slightest. He just shrugs off your bitchiness and clarifies, “Says state law, sweetheart.”
“That’s the stupidest fucking law I’ve ever heard,” You deadpan, crossing your arms across your chest. 
The man is not exactly subtle when his eyes sink down to drink in the way the motion props up your tits in your low-cut dress. Like you’re his own real-life Playboy model. Whatever. Maybe a little show will get him to bypass the stupid rule. 
Joel makes a little tch sound with his tongue against his teeth. “Sorry, darlin’. Law’s the law.”
You huff, leaning forward on the counter and gifting him a very nice view down your dress. “Well I still think it’s stupid. Can’t you just give me a pass? Just this once? I’ve had an unbelievably shitty night,” You pout, mimicking the model discarded next to your elbow and using your arms to enhance your cleavage. 
His jaw ticks as he overtly ogles what you’re serving him. When his eyes flick back up to yours, he’s donning a shallow smirk. “You find that that works for you often?” He quips, gesturing to your chest. 
You shrug a shoulder with a smirk of your own. “Use what you’ve got, right?”
Joel leans back on his stool, scratching the back of his head as if in thought, his eyes darting back to your chest as he considers his options. 
“Not so sure, sweetheart. Could get in heaps of trouble for shit like this.”
“What if…” You start off, a hand drifting up to your neckline and curling around it just above your right breast, pulling it down just a smidge. Not revealing anything yet, only an indication that you might. “What if I give you something a little better than that picture,” You proposition, luring his eyes down to the dirty magazine with your gaze, and then heading right back to him. 
You see his tongue run over his top teeth behind his lip as he studies the topless model on the page, and then glances back up at you through his eyelashes with a skeevy tilt to his mouth. “Go on, then.”
You give him a sexy little smirk, checking the front door with a cursory glance. When you confirm the coast is clear, you bite your lip and start to lower your top. 
Joel bows forward with his forearms against his thighs, eyes transfixed on every inch of skin being unveiled. 
You bring your collar down coquettishly, your mouth popping in faux surprise when one hardened nipple slips free. “Oops,” You say with a cheeky smile. 
A veiny hand comes up to stroke at his beard as he wets his lips. “Don’t be shy now. Give her sister a little breather too.”
“Greedy,” You scold with mock offense. But you’re already this far and you might as fucking well. You do a swift check of the door again as your other hand tugs your dress down on the other side. 
“Go-lly,” Joel rasps accompanied by a low whistle. “Put that damn model to shame, sweetheart.” He adjusts himself in his jeans and you see a sizeable bulge at his crotch, plain as day. 
His fingers twitch where they rest on his knee like they’re itching to touch. 
“Thank you,” You purr, giving them both a single squeeze in your palms and pressing them together for good measure with your nipples peeking through your fingers before sliding your dress back in place. “And thank you for your sacrifice,” You tease, wrapping your hand around the handle of the seltzers. 
“Now, hold on there, sweetheart,” Joel protests with a furrowed brow, slipping off his seat and slamming a hand down over yours on the case. “I didn’t say I’d let you have it for that.” 
Your face drops. “Excuse me? You said—”
“I didn’t say jack shit,” Joel corrects. “You flashed your tits at me of your own accord. Not my fault you assumed.”
“That’s fucked up, dude!” You shout back. “I just gave you Girls Gone Wild Live, is that really not enough for you?”
Joel snorts a laugh.“ Shit, maybe for a fuckin’ tallboy or two, but not a whole goddamn case.” Joel cocks a hip and balances his arm across the seltzer. “Gonna need more’n a little peep show to haggle for a twelver.”
You’re absolutely positive you’re going to regret it, but you ask, “And what exactly would that entail?”
A filthy grin bleeds across his face, and he half-heartedly masks it with a hand over his mouth, wiping at the corners with the pads of his pudgy fingers. With his stemmed smile, he drops his palm to the counter, raking his eyes salaciously up the lines of your body. “How’s about you slip into the back with me and find out?”
You narrow your eyes at him. “I don’t think so, dude.”
The tip of his tongue creeps out to lick the corner of his mouth. “Throw in a pack o’ smokes too, ‘f that’s up your alley.”
You shift your weight and pout your lips to the side, crossing your arms again. “Marlboros?” 
You don’t know why you’re asking. There’s no way you’re going anywhere with him. Right? You wouldn’t do that. No matter how…unexpectedly sexy this sleazy guy is. No matter how the sleeves of his shirt are straining around his biceps. Or how the little gold cross dangles in that unexplainably trashy-hot kind of way. Or how he is—no question—packing a fucking missile in his pants. 
Shit. 
“Whatever kind you want, for the right price, darlin’,” He winks. 
You nibble your lower lip, weighing the situation. You know you’re being stupid. But you’re pissed off, maybe a little heartbroken, sufficiently horny, and newly bereft of your dick-on-demand as of a couple hours ago. 
And Jesus, could you really fucking use a drink and a smoke right now. For free, nonetheless. Or, at least, not at the cost of anything you’d lament losing. Surely your dignity can withstand a meaningless fuck in a back room for your personal benefit, right? 
Fuck it. 
“Alright, fine,” You relent, leaning onto the counter again. “But let me spell things out this time. I let you take me in the back and fuck me—pussy only,” You dictate with a pointed finger, “And I leave with this case of seltzer and two packs of Marlboros, no charge.”
“I didn’t say two, I said—”
“Two packs of Marlboros,” You repeat with emphasis, jabbing your finger towards the back wall of tobacco products. “And we never fucking mention this again.”
“Jesus, bleedin’ me fuckin’ dry over here,” Joel mutters, his eyes dipping to the counter and then up to your tits. “Better be a sweet fuckin’ pussy.”
“Sweetest you’ll have till you kick the bucket next week, old man.”
“You got some fuckin’ spirit, I’ll give ya that,” Joel chuckles. He holds a hand out and you eye it tentatively for a brief moment before clasping it and giving it a solid shake. “We got a deal, sweetheart.”
Joel pushes himself off the counter and lifts the hinged countertop to pass through. He sticks his head out the door, looking left then right, and shuts it. He flips a sign on the glass to read “Be back in 10!” and bolts the lock, testing the door to ensure it holds. 
“Come on then, darlin’. Better make it quick.”
He guides you to the back of the store and through a locked door labeled “Employees Only”, rushing you in with a hand on your lower back. The room is bursting with boxes, stacked near the ceiling in some places. Unsettling stains are splattered on nearly all visible floor space, some looking stickier than others. You gingerly set your purse down on a box by the door. 
“Leave the dress on, but take those beautiful titties back out, sweetheart,” Joel directs, already working on unfastening his pants. 
You roll your eyes a little, but oblige, dipping your dress down underneath your tits again. You back up against the door and toy with them absentmindedly as you watch Joel’s cock spring free from his boxers and holy shit. 
“Woah,” is all you manage to vocalize. 
Joel looks at you with a smirk, his wide hand stroking down the full length of him and dipping a thumb into the wet slit. “Biggest cock you’re gonna take ‘til you kick your own bucket, darlin’,” He chides, stepping toward you. “‘N you’ve got a hell of a lot longer to go than I do.”
“Yeah, no shit,” You breathe out, feeling your pussy gush into your panties at the thought of that inside of you. You idly reach between your legs and ruck up your dress, pulling your panties to the side and running a finger through your already-soaked folds. 
“That’s a pretty little cunt, sweetheart,” Joel says with a voracious look in his eyes, laying a palm against the door level with your head. He’s so fucking large when he’s up this close, it makes your breath hitch. Even with your hips apart, you feel the tip of his cock graze the backs of your fingers where they’re playing with your pussy. Joel’s head dips down between your tits, nose tracing the curves before he sucks a nipple into his mouth.
You press your eyes shut for a moment to clear your head with a steadying breath. “Condom,” You order as the raised bud pops out of his mouth and he locks eyes with you. 
“Ah, fresh out. Sorry, darlin’,” Joel says with a tone and expression that belies his complete lack of real remorse. 
“You literally sell them. Right outside this door. Probably even have some in this room,” You argue back. 
“I can’t be givin’ you any more of my stock, kid. You’re already cleanin’ me out.”
You roll your eyes and push off from the door, ducking under his arm and digging through the inner zipper pocket of your purse. You spin back around to him, holding a condom packet between your fingers with raised brows. 
“Well, aren’t you a regular fuckin’ Girl Scout,” He mumbles with a tinge of irritation in his voice, snatching it from you. “Not a chance in hell this is gonna fit.”
“Oh fuck off with that bullshit,” You scoff. “You’ll be just fine.”
He rips the packet with his teeth and spits the strip onto the floor, the remainder of the foil following a moment later. He winces as he pinches the tip of the condom and rolls it down. “Fuckin’ hate these things.”
“You wanna fuck me or not?” You ask, your ass leaning against a smaller stack of boxes. “That’s my stipulation. Clock’s ticking, old man. Someone’s gonna be banging on that glass door sooner or later.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Joel mutters, pulling on his cock lewdly, “Bend over, little bitch. Let Daddy Joel take what he’s owed.”
“Jesus Christ,” You say under your breath incredulously, actively fighting the urge to roll your eyes again. You turn around and bend over the boxes, tucking your cheek into the loop of your arms and sticking your ass out. 
“That’a girl,” He croons, pushing the hem of your dress up over your hips. He whistles at you for a second time, palming your ass with both hands and landing a sudden smack to your flesh that makes you jump. “That’s an ass fit for Playboy for sure.”
His thumb traces the strap of your thong down the crack of your ass, stopping at your blooming wet spot. “Look at that pussy. All drenched and waitin’ for me.”
You feel his hands slide into the gusset of your panties, and they tear apart under his fists with nothing more than a grunt and a tug. “There we go.”
“Hey!” You shout back, your head whipping around. “What the fuck, dude? Those aren’t cheap.”
Joel just shrugs, pressing a hand between your shoulder blades to bend you back over. “Should’ve taken ‘em off.”
Another tug at your waist and your panties fall from your body completely. 
Joel’s hand nestles between your shoulders again as the other guides the fat head of his cock through your slick pussy. Your hips jolt when he catches on your clit, and he gives a satisfied breathy laugh. 
“Oh, she’s creamin’ for it, ain’t she?”
You cringe internally at his phrasing—so fucking unsexy, but somehow making you wetter at the same time. 
“God, just fuck me,” You moan, flexing onto your tiptoes to try and guide him where you want him. 
“Mmm, needy little thing,” He rumbles, but sits his cock at your entrance. Joel flattens himself against your spine and nuzzles into the back of your neck as he rolls his hips into you, the head of his cock stretching you open. 
You gasp out a pained whine, biting into the flesh of your arm as Joel continues to push his way through. 
“Shit, this little pussy fucks right open, don’t it,” He grunts, securing a hand onto your hip as he slides all the way inside. His panting breaths waft over your skin, tickling the hairs at the nape of your neck. His other hand comes up to grope at your breast, tweaking the nipple between his pointer and middle knuckles. 
It feels like he’s ripping you open from the inside, like he’s shifting your organs as he makes room for himself inside your body. You squeak out a quiet, “Ow,” as his hips collide flush with your ass and his length bottoms out, stretching you more than you could even fathom before. 
“Yeah,” Joel moans in your ear, pulling out a few inches and slamming back in as you cry out. “Bet you like it when it hurts, don’t ya, sweetheart.”
You squeal when he pulls out further and fills you completely again, setting a languid pace as he retreats slowly and then rams all of him back inside you at once. The sting of him fades into the background, but the overwhelming size of him, the all-encompassing fullness that you feel just gets more intense. 
You muffle your cries into your arm as he whispers filth into your ear. 
“Splittin’ you open just right, isn’t it, sweetheart? Daddy Joel knows just how to give it to you. Make you scream for it. Make them legs shake. That’s right, baby, take it good for Daddy.”
And you can’t do anything but take it. Take his huge cock pounding into you, take his disgusting words spilling in your ear, take the sound of slapping reverberating around the stockroom as your ass crashes against his hips. 
“Yeah, you like Daddy Joel’s big cock, don’t ya?” His voice rasps over the crude slap of his skin against yours. Your brain feels scrambled, only spluttering out a strained whimper in response. 
A hand slides down your thigh and hooks around the back of your knee, hauling it up onto the top of the box and spreading you wide open for him as your sandal clatters to the ground. 
“Fuck, that’s it,” Joel groans obscenely loud in the small, crowded space as he sinks even deeper into you, pulling a noise from you that’s so foreign you’re not entirely sure you’ve ever made it before. Somewhere between a moan, a scream, and a gasp shredding your throat at the impossibility of him filling you any more than he already had. 
“Fuck, I can’t—I can’t—” You cry out, tears welling in your eyes, hands scratching for purchase on the edges of the box. 
“Yes you can, darlin’. Takin’ it so good,” He grunts, gripping your shoulder for leverage as his relentless thrusts devastate your very core and lick at your cervix. 
“Too—too fucking big, please. Please hurry,” You whimper, your hand flying back to push back against his hips. He slaps your hand away and grabs at your wrist, bending your arm and locking it at your back as he ceaselessly fucks into your clenching hole. 
“Daddy’s too fucking big, huh?” He teases with laughter in his voice. “‘F it’s too big, why’s your pussy takin’ it so easy? It’s fuckin’ squeezin’ me, darlin’. It don’t want me to leave.”
You sob into your arm as your one leg remaining on the floor starts to quiver beneath you. 
“Mmm, fuck, that’s right. Want you shiverin’ and shakin’ on Daddy’s cock. Fuckin’ you so wide open, y’could probably fit one of them seltzer cans up your snatch after this no problem,” Joel grits out. 
Your eyes threaten to roll back in your head as sweat gathers at your temples and your body feels like it’s buzzing. “I fuck—I fucking can’t—t-t-too much, too big,” You stutter, feeling your pussy shuddering around him in what you think is an orgasm but you can’t even fucking tell from how foggy your brain is, how overstimulated every cell in your body feels. 
Joel grunts loudly as your cunt pulses around him, jerking his hips faster into you as you constantly strain to catch your breath. “Fuckin’ take it, bitch. Fuck your Daddy for your booze, and he’ll let you have it,” He growls out, before you distinctly hear him spit, and then feel a splash of saliva hit the crack of your ass and drip down between your cheeks. 
“Goddamn, wish I could coat this fuckin’ pussy with my load. Pump you full of my come, watch it drip outta ya,” He moans, his voice becoming increasingly unsteady as his hips snap into you faster and faster. “Gonna bust inside this little cunt, darlin’. Fuck, take it, take it, take it, bitch,” He grunts with one last obliterating thrust inside you, and then he’s coming with a guttural moan. You can feel his cock pulse with how tight your walls are choking it out of him, even with the condom. 
Your mouth is dry and your thighs are soaked as Joel pulls out of you gingerly. You startle when he smacks your ass with a heavy hand again. 
“Some good fuckin’ pussy,” He pants out, making quiet little noises of sensitivity as he slips the condom off his softening cock and ties it off, tossing it in a nearby trash can. 
You lower your leg back down to the ground carefully, and you somehow become less balanced, your legs collapsing out from under you as you crumple to the floor onto your hands and knees. 
You hear Joel chuckle in time with the zipper on his jeans. “Take your time. Gotta open back up.”
You hear the door shut after him, and you just breathe, limbs still vibrating as you kneel on the tacky floor. 
What the fuck just happened to you, You think. 
You just got fucked within an inch of your life by a sleazy gas station clerk, that’s what happened. And you have no fucking idea how to process it. 
When you’re pretty sure you can tolerate it, you muscle yourself up off the ground and stuff your tits back into your dress. The panties are a lost cause, so you leave them littering the floor. Fuck, he can have the souvenir. He deserves it. 
You ruffle your hair, slip your lost flip flop back on, grab your purse, and stumble out into the store. A couple haggard souls browse the aisles with glazed eyes as you make your way to the front, oblivious to your presence or from where you just exited from. You approach the counter where your case of Truly still sits. Joel is back up on his perch with his ragged boots propped on the bottom rung of the stool, the Playboy suitably stashed away from sight. 
“Get everything you need?” He asks coolly, a coy smile playing at his lips. 
“Um, two packs of Marlboro Reds, please,” You answer softly, your voice cracking slightly and prompting you to clear your throat. 
Joel nods with that grin still in place, spinning on his seat and snagging the cigarettes. He tilts the cartons to and from his head in some semblance of a saluting gesture and places them on top of the seltzers. “Pleasure doin’ business with ya, darlin’. Come back anytime.”
Your eyes involuntarily flit toward his crotch and back up. A spark lights back up in your chest and you grant him a playful smirk. “I just might.”
Part 2
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2K notes · View notes
cherrychilli · 2 months
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18+
Eddie Munson x AFAB reader, established relationship, mentions of bodily injury and blood(not reader's), allusions to oral sex (f)
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Let's just say that Eddie eats you out a little too well and suffers the consequences.
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The bleeding's finally starting to stem you're relieved to notice, pulling back his bloodied bandana to peek at his swollen nose, all flushed red like crushed berries. Streaks of dry blood trail down to his chin in thin ribbons and you look at him sympathetically.
"I'm dellin' you bade, id loobs worse than id is", Eddie tries to assure you once more though you're not convinced because you can make out the beginnings of a black eye on his face too, a purple half moon starting to take shape below his left eye.
You'd apologized profusely when it happened, nearly brought to tears over how guilty you felt about the whole thing but all he did was grin proudly like he couldn't be happier about it, teeth stained pink with fresh blood.
"Bade"
"Yeah?"
"You're nod wearin' a bra"
You look down and realize he's right, your nipples hard and showing through your shirt because hospitals are such cold, sterile places. Now that you're looking at yourself you notice that your shirt's inside out too but of course he doesn't notice that detail because he's too busy staring at your tits.
"Oh. Yeah well, I kinda forgot in the rush to get here", you tell him, uncaring if anyone else notices because your priority right now is your boyfriend's wellbeing.
"No id's good. Helbs take my mind off the paib", he grinned again, raising his eyebrows at you suggestively.
Even with a broken nose and all that blood on his face and clothes he still manages to look handsome, still charming in that loveable dork kind of way that made you fall for him all those years ago, stirring something warm in your belly.
"Just let me do the talking, okay?", you stroke his cheek gently, placing a quick kiss there which makes his face turn pink in a way that's unrelated to his injury. You looked over the forms one of the nurses had handed you when you first came in, filling the blank spaces with Eddie's personal information.
Fell down the stairs. That's pretty believable, right? You continued to jot his details down, hoping the doctors and nurses will buy what you're selling because the last thing you wanted to divulge was that your boyfriend made you cum so hard while going down on you that you kicked him in the face on accident.
"Baaade"
"Eddie, don't talk you might start bleeding again"
"Jud one more ding", he nudges his shoulder against yours.
You look away from the paperwork then, catching a lilt to his tone that sounded serious. "What is it?", a tendril of worry winds up your spine. Had you concussed him? Oh shit, if he's got a concussion too then-
"Did you forbet your panties too?"
The tendril withers away unceremoniously.
"Eddie", you deadpanned. "This is not the damn time."
"Pleab jud answer the quedtion", he gives you the eyes, those wide, bottomless whiskey brown eyes and you crumble.
"Fine. I forgot, okay?", you duck your head and whisper in his ear. "You were bleeding so much- I just threw on whatever was closest."
He then eyes your skirt in that same way that got him in this situation in the first place, tongue swiping over his blood tinged bottom lip.
"Great becob I wad thinkin'. Round two in the van afder they patch me up?"
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scorpiussage · 7 months
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The Robin to My Batman (Neil Lewis/Fem!OC)
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Pairing: Neil Lewis/Fem!OC 
Summary: A comic book store opens up next to Gumshoe Video prompting a hot and heavy feud between the two businesses and their nerdy owners. 
Theme: Romance - Enemies to Lovers 
Warnings: Nerds being nerds, smut 
The early morning walks to open Gumshoe Video are always enjoyable for Neil. He loves getting coffee from that family owned Armenian coffee shop down the street, greeting the old man who owns the hardware store across the street, and contemplating what the day’s theme should be. 
However, his gorgeous, peaceful morning comes to a screeching halt as he spots a large moving truck parked in front of Gumshoe— no, parked in front of the vacant store to the left of his. He quickly darts into the alleyway across the street and watches with mounting horror as some—so far unrecognizable—new business moves in. 
“No no no no no,” Neil mutters to himself, already picturing the worst case scenario. What if it’s a competing video store? Or perhaps on of those Christian shops that sells over priced bible themed tchotchkes? Both are miserable possibilities and he has no idea what he’ll do if either of those ends up being the case. 
When the coast is clear of movers, Neil goes sprinting into his store and making a made dash for the phone to call his friends. 
He has a bad feeling about this. 
The first time he sees her is at the grand opening of Golden Age Comics, the new comic book store next door. The first thing he sees when he walks in isn’t the life sized cutouts of various comic book characters placed strategically about nor the wall display of rare figurines. 
No, the first thing he sees is her, Bailey Taylor, the owner of the shop. She’s dressed like Wonder Woman, displaying these long shapely legs that have Neil’s jaw going slack in awe. She flutters about the store, greeting customers and advertising the big grand opening sale she’s running. 
Johnathan and Lucien, who came into the store with him, start needling each other excitedly, muttering about how hot she is and Neil can only feel dread. This can only spell bad news, he just knows it. 
Not at all like a coward, he quickly flees the store before she can approach him. 
The first time he actually meets Bailey, she comes into his shop. Today Gumshoe is having a deal on westerns and so Neil is dressed accordingly as a cowboy. When she walks into his store, it creates a rather comical juxtaposition as it appears her own store is having a sale on Japanese manga. 
Sailor Moon Bailey and Cowboy Neil stare each other down. 
“Um, hi,” she greets with an awkward little wave, her smile bright despite the uncomfortable mood, “I own the comic book store next door. My name is Bailey.” 
Neil nods stiffly, doing everything in his power to not stare at how hot she looks in that cosplay. When Neil fails to respond, an irritatingly adorable frown mars her features 
“Okay,” she mutters to herself before saying, “Well, I just wanted to see if you’d be willing to do a team-up and have a collaborative sale.” 
Neil scoffs, “And what? Hock old Adam West Batman tapes?”
She perks up and nods enthusiastically, “Yes! Exactly! I actually have this really great id-.”
Neil shudders at the thought and cuts her off before she can get going, “The old Batman show is absolute garbage in its cinematic delivery— no way would I subject my customers to that.” 
The glare she gives him could cut steel and admittedly makes his happy bits stir in interest. 
“Garbage?” She snarls, “That show was a pioneer for superhero media! Just because some over hyped alcoholic wife beater didn’t direct it, doesn’t mean it’s not good!” 
Neil’s eyes narrow at her and he crosses his arms, trying to appear more authoritative than he usually looks, “Oh believe me, the director has nothing to do with the bad editing and poor visual shots!” 
The woman looks like she’s visibly holding herself back from launching herself over the counter and decking Neil in the face. His cock makes another inappropriate twitch at the thought and he internally scolds himself for these reactions. 
Without another word, Bailey storms out of the store and stomps her way back to her own shop and Neil breathes a sigh of relief. 
God, he really needs to get laid if some uneducated comic dork is getting him riled up. 
After that disastrous first encounter, a Cold War of sorts settles over the two businesses. If Neil is having a sale, Bailey will have a better one. If Neil does a midnight showing of a movie, Bailey hosts a free-to-join D&D party. If Neil dressed up, Bailey does too but does it better. 
It’s aggravating. 
Neil doesn’t even know what it is about her that has him going absolutely insane, but it’s beginning to be a problem. For instance, last week she dressed up like Cat Woman and strutted about both in and out of her store, placing herself in full view of Neil boredly manning the register of his own shop. He had to go and jerk off in his office like five times; and he was still horny afterwards!
Like he said— problem. 
And it’s only getting worse. 
“Dude, oh my god! She’s dressed like a school girl today!” Johnathan says while rushing into the shop, a lecherous grin on his face, “Her skirt is so short!” 
Lucien cheers and Neil rams his head onto the surface of the checkout counter repeatedly. 
He’s gonna die horny and infuriated by her subpar taste in cinema, it’s inevitable. 
Lucien just gives him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder and leaves him to his melancholy while he and Johnathan go next door. 
“Ugh what do I do?!” He laments pathetically to himself. 
The second interaction that Neil has with Bailey happens on a slow night for both businesses. 
Neil is parked on the shop couch, watching Lady in the Lake and barely staying awake when she comes into his shop. She’s dressed normal today in a worn Captain Marvel t-shirt and denim shorts and he’s a little too tired to properly hide the slow up and down he gives her. 
A little blush settles on her face when she catches him doing that. 
“Slow night?” She asks after clearing her throat awkwardly. 
“Yeah, you?” 
Bailey blows a raspberry and nods, walking over to the couch and throwing herself down onto it next to Neil. He quickly scoots over, giving her room while trying to smooth his shirt and hair down to look less like a mess. 
“What are we watching?” She asks. 
Things sort of devolve from there. Whether it was one innocent comment taken the wrong way, or an intentional dig, it prompts a fresh new screaming match between the two of them over the cinematic quality of the Adam West Batman series. This woman will not let go of that trash TV series, Neil realizes.
Bailey gets up from the couch at some point, Neil hot on her heels as they move their heated argument about the store. It’s when they’re next to the wall that Neil pushes her against the surface and pins her arms high above her. He’s not thinking when he kisses her, pushing his tongue into her mouth to taste her— he’s running purely on adrenaline and instinct. 
That first kiss they share is not a gentle one; it’s rough and filthy and hot. 
“You are such a brat,” Neil bites out scathingly, his hands slipping away from her wrists to start running over her chest, cupping those perky tits of hers in his hands. 
“You are an obnoxious tool!” She sneers in return, her now free hands making quick work of his belt buckle and the button on his jeans. 
“I can’t believe how terrible your taste is in cinema! A rock would have better opinions!” Neil helps her push his pants down and then reaches forward to yank her shirt off. The bra she’s wearing is just a simple navy colored one but it has him physically biting back a moan at the sight. 
She smirks up at him, then pushes him away with a rough shove, sending him into one of the shelves. She gets into his space, wrapping her arms around his neck and initiating another one of those blood racing kisses. 
He reaches down and grabs her under her thighs, hoisting her up to wrap her legs around his waist. He starts walking them back towards his office, fully intent on throwing her down onto his couch in there and getting all this frustration out of his system. 
Sex has always been pretty gentle and by-the-book for Neil, he’s never had a desire to be rough or for a partner to be rough with him, but Bailey makes his head fuzzy. She makes him want to do things he’s never done before. 
“Fuck— Neil!” She gasps when he puts her down and immediately sticks his hand down the front of her shorts and starts rubbing along her slit. It’s so wet and he groans, his cock twitching in anticipation. 
“Can’t wait to shut you up,” he tells her, his long fingers alternating between rubbing vicious circles on her clit and slipping down to enter her with harsh thrusts, “Been thinking about this for weeks.” 
Her fingers scratch lightly across his stomach as she pushes his shirt up, “Well, you’re going to have to do lot better than this to make that happen.” 
His eyes narrow and he pulls his hand out of her shorts, ripping the button open and yanking them down her legs. He grips her around her hips and flips her onto her stomach, climbing onto her legs to keep her from kicking about. 
“I am so sick of that smart mouth,” he tells her before laying a loud slap to her right ass cheek, making her cry out in surprise that dissolves into a moan. He would spank her in earnest, but he’s been so fucking horny for so long that he only gives her a few smacks before slipping his fingers up under the edge of her panties, rubbing the buttery soft skin of her ass. 
Trailing his hands up, he unhooks her bra and climbs off of her so that she can turn over onto her back. She’s quick to shuck off her bra and panties, exposing herself entirely to his hungry gaze. 
“You said you thought about this for weeks,” she remarks while slipping her fingers down to her folds, “How many times did you jerk off to me?”
He groans and goes down to his knees, leaning forward and shouldering his way between her thighs. 
“So many fucking times,” he admits shamelessly before licking into her with enthusiasm.
Her fingers thread through his hair, tugging him forward and using the leverage to grind against his face. He could die here, smothered between those shapely thighs, and it would be in total bliss. Her moans are the sweetest thing he’s ever heard and he endeavors to hear them get louder. 
“Are you gonna cum for me, baby?” He asks, his fingers returning their journey of entering her and his eyes watching with hooded rapture as her cunt sucks them into her. 
“Neil,” she gasps his name, chanting it like a prayer and he picks up the pace with his fingers. He sucks on that hard little bud of hers and feels her cum around his fingers, that soaking cavern gripping him tightly. 
“Fuck, baby,” he groans, “please let me fuck you.” 
Her thighs are shaking as she comes down from her orgasm high, “Yes, fuck yes.” 
He doesn’t need any more encouragement— he’s barely got his underwear down before he’s pushing into her. She’s tighter and wetter than any other pussy he’s been in and he tells her as much, rasping filthy things into her ear as he begins a brutal and unrelenting rhythm. 
“Thought about bending you over the front counter and fucking you stupid so many times.” 
Her nails dig into his back, raking along the surface and certainly leaving their mark. 
The thought alone of her marking him could make him cum. He bites his lip harshly to try and wrestle back some control, unwilling to see it end so soon. 
It barely works as his hips stutter in their thrusting. 
“Can I cum in you?” He asks— no, practically begs her.
Her arms snake around his shoulders, tugging his head forward to rest against hers, their mouths finding each other hungrily. Between filthy, tongue filled kisses, she gasps, “Please!” 
Permission granted, he buries himself as deep as possible inside of her, the head of his cock nudging her cervix, and he cums. He groans loud and long as those warm, wet walls squeeze every last drop from his cock, sucking it better than any blow job could manage. 
He pulls out of her slowly and almost reluctantly, sad to part from that perfect cunt of hers. A flow of white cum follows his departure, dripping from her opening and over her ass in thick globs. 
He’s never seen something so sexy in his life and he doesn’t know what he’ll do if he doesn’t get to see it again. 
Stepping back from Bailey, he grabs his shirt off the floor and uses it to wipe her clean, chuckling at the deadpan look she gives him for the effort. Tossing the shirt aside, he climbs onto the couch and lays himself out next to her, pulling her to rest against his chest. 
They lay like that for a long time, catching their breaths and basking in the after glow. 
“You don’t really hate the Adam West Batman series, do you?” Bailey asks, her eyes looking up at Neil imploringly. 
Neil about answers the way he normally would but when he looks down at her and sees the earnest expression she’s wearing, he doesn’t have it in him to be an asshole. 
“No, it’s not that bad,” he lies and feels his heart flutter when she shoots him a beaming smile in return. 
He thinks he can stand mediocre cinema for her sake. 
483 notes · View notes
teapartyprincess4two · 2 months
Note
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE WRITE SOMETHING FOR MATT BASED ON THE SONG HEARTBREAK GIRL BY 5SOS.
Idc how long it is (the longer the better)
pls pls pls I will sell my left foot to read it 🙏
Heartbreak Girl- M. Sturniolo
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
pairing: Taken!reader x BestFriend!Matt
classification: angst
warnings: pining, clueless reader, toxic relationship, jealousy, heartbreak, friendzone, slight cursing, use of y/n, unrequited love, mentions of cheating, panic attack, no happy ending (sorry, the song calls for it)
inspiration: REQUEST, Heartbreak Girl by 5SOS
summary: Matt’s in love with you, but you’re too in love with someone else to realize it.
Heartbreak Girl PT.1, PT.2
Matt’s phone rings loudly on his bedside table, waking him from his sleep. His eyes jolt open, the loud ringing scaring him. He knows who’s calling, but hopes it’s someone else this time so he can hang up without being eaten alive by the guilt. A sigh leaves his lips as he checks the caller ID, your name shining brightly on his phone screen. He rubs the sleep out of his eyes as he answers, “y/n?” Your sobs immediately fill the room as they emit from his phone speaker, he grimaces slightly at the loud noise and holds the phone away from his face.
It was always the same thing with you, you’d call him late at night complaining and crying about something your boyfriend, Mike, did. Matt would comfort you time and time again, advising you to just break up with that loser and sometimes you’d listen. You and Mike would break up, sometimes for as long as a week, but you’d always end up welcoming him back into you life at the slightest apology.
“What did he do this time?” Matt asks, another sigh leaving his mouth. He’s propped up on an elbow, his head hanging forward with his eyes shut as he tries fighting sleep. If you were anyone else he would’ve stopped picking up your calls a long time ago, but you’re his best friend and he feels a sense of responsibility for you. “First, he called me annoying and then we got in this big fight and then he left. He said he’s going back to his ex,” you hiccup, barely sounding coherent through your sobs.
Matt wants to scream into his pillow, was this not the same fight you had with Mike last week? “Well-” Matt begins, but is quickly interrupted by you. “He accused me of cheating too! Doesn’t he know I love him? I’d never cheat!” you exclaim through the phone, your words coming out a mile a minute.
Love. Matt cringed at the word, how could you possible love a guy who’s favorite pass time was making you cry.
Matt could tell you were entering a stare of hysteria, your breathing was erratic and you wouldn’t stop crying. “Alright, y/n. Try to calm down,” he whispers sternly, trying to bring you back to reality. With every late night phone call Matt gained more and more reasons to hate your stupid boyfriend. “Okay… I’m calm,” you reply, bringing your voice down and attempting to steady your breathing. He knows you’re faking it, but he appreciates that you’re at least trying.
“Okay, now telling me what happened,” he instructs, a part of him wanting to hear all the details of your argument so his hatred for your boyfriend would be more justified. You retold the events in excruciating detail, mentioning everything that was said and done. So much of it repulsed Matt, how could two people treat each other like that? He felt his heart breaking with each word, but the anger he felt was much stronger, “he really called you that?!”
Matt’s jaw was clenched, his teeth grinding against each other in the process. He heard your sniffles on the other side of the phone, a part of him wished he could just hold you. “Yeah, but he’s not that bad,” your voice was hushed, almost like you were afraid. You sounded scared to admit it, mostly because you knew Matt would get mad. You, of course, guess correctly because Matt replies angrily, “He’s not THAT bad?!?”
If he had any common sense he’d just hang the phone up now because there was obviously no getting through to you. But, a part of him is praying that one day you’ll realize what a loser Mike is and then maybe you’ll realize that he’s been here all along. “Well, I mean, it takes two to fight,” you reply in an attempt to defend your last statement. Matt rubs his temples, trying to massage his growing headache away.
“Y/n, stop being so naive,” he says harshly. At this point his anger has completely consumed him but he bites his tongue to stop the venom from spilling.
“Don’t be mean,” you mumble. There was no excuse for Mike’s behavior, not that you were much better, but you couldn’t let this become your forever. “I’m not being mean. I’m being real,” he replies, his voice softening a bit when he realizes how harsh his words sounded.
A brief silence settles in the conversation, but Matt can hear soft mumbling in the background. Matt assumes you’re talking but somehow the audio got muffled. “I can’t hear you,” he says, turning the volume up on his phone. The mumbling gets a little louder and then suddenly he hears it, it’s Mike. He must’ve come back once he cooled off, he’s sure to reel you back in with broken promises and empty apologies.
“Matt, I have to go. Mike is here,” you whisper into the phone, clearly scared to be caught venting your problems to your best friend. Mike, Mike, Mike. What was so special about Mike anyways? Sometimes, if Matt repeated the name enough it almost sounded like his own name. Matt, Matt, Matt. He wished it was.
He wants to beg you to stay on the phone, but he knows there’s no use. All he can do is advise you to choose better and hope that this time you’ll listen, “y/n, don’t do anything stupid.” There’s a lot of shuffling coming from your end, if Matt closes his eyes he can imagine every single movement. “Okay, bye friend. Love you,” you say quickly.
Friend. That is a word Matt will be reduced to for the rest of his life. He wants to be more than that with you, but a part of him knows that you two will be stuck going in circles again and again. You fight Mike, you break up, you cry to Matt, you make up with Mike, and Matt’s lost his chance with you yet another time.
Before he can reply he hears the phone click, you hung up. He knows that you’re probably already reconciling with Mike and even though it makes him mad, it mostly makes him feel helpless. Matt tosses his phone back onto his bedside table before dramatically falling back onto the bed. He knows that if you just opened your eyes you’d realize that he was here all along, that he’d never hurt you.
But, despite his better judgement, Matt will keep picking up your phone calls because he’s a sucker when it comes to you.
The sound of arcade games echo around the building as Matt and his brothers walk around the arcade in an attempt to find the perfect game. They only had a few tokens left, so they had to spend them wisely. You were there too, but you were so immersed in Mike’s presence that it was like you weren’t. Matt had invited you in hopes to finally get you alone, away from Mike. But, that stupid guy followed you like his life depended on it. You were so enthralled by Mike that you hadn’t even played a single game, even Nick and Chris found it annoying.
“What about ski ball?” Chris suggests, the three of them had lapped around the arcade a billion times and still couldn’t find the right game. “No,” Nick says, peering around the arcade for a better game. “Bumper cars?” Chris suggests again, running out of options to say. “We don’t even have enough tokens for that,” Matt scoffs, joining Nick as he looks around the room.
“Fine you pick,” Chris grumbles, leaning against the nearest game as he waits for his brothers to choose. As they’re surveying the room, Nick and Matt see you in the corner talking with your boyfriend. You two seemed to be caught up in an argument like usual, earning an eye roll from Nick. “I don’t know what she sees in that guy,” he comments, trying to read your lips to see what the argument is about. “I hate that guy,” Chris chimes in, joining his brothers in their watch party.
Matt hums in agreement, not wanting to say too much in regard to the situation. He can only assume that you did something Mike didn’t like and now you’re getting in trouble for it. The conversation seems to get heated enough for you to storm off, making your way towards the triplets. “Oh shhh- she’s coming, she’s coming,” Chris warns, trying to act casual.
Nick does the same, leaning against the machine closest to him. Matt’s eyes widen, all he can think to do is turn quickly on his heel to face his brothers. They immediately engage in a fake conversation in attempt to convince you that they weren’t watching. It seems to work.
“Ah yes, McDonalds does have the best chicken nuggets. Good point, Chris,” Nick says as he looks towards his brothers expectantly, but you’re so mad you don’t even notice the ridiculous conversation topic. “Guys you can have my tokens, I’m leaving,” you say, not even introducing yourself with a hello. You pull the tokens out of your pocket, dumping them all in Chris’s hands. He was so excited to have more tokens that he didn’t even care you were leaving.
“Is everything okay?” Matt asks, watching as you hurriedly try to get rid of all your tokens. “No, bro. Stupid Mike, dude. He got mad that I wanted to play so he brought up his ex again, can you believe that?” you scoff, still fishing for more tokens in your pockets. Why was every argument you had with Mike about his ex?
“Gross. Why are you leaving though? You haven’t played a single game,” Nick asks, taking a few tokens from Chris for himself. He and Chris also disliked your boyfriend because you two were always fighting about stupid stuff. But, they weren’t as involved in your love life as Matt was, so they didn’t know how often you two were actually fighting. “Cause he’s my ride and he said he’s leaving,” you grumble, finally looking up from your pockets to look at your friends.
“We can take you home,” Matt suggests, not wanting you to leave just yet. He says it so quickly and eagerly that his brothers give him a weird look, he catches it and coughs awkwardly. “I mean, if you want to stay,” he mumbles in an attempt not to seem so desperate.
You look between your friends and the arcade entrance, trying to decide whether you should stay or go. Matt bites his tongue, trying to prevent himself from saying something he’ll later regret. He wants to grab you by the shoulders and scream that you should just leave that stupid loser.
“I don’t know, it’s getting late,” you attempt to reason as you check your phone for the time. It was only 5pm, but your heart really wanted to follow Mike before he decided he was done with you for real. Upon checking the time, you see a message from Mike that made your stomach turn.
Mike: I left. have fun with your friends. we’re done.
Matt watches as your expression completely drops, you look like you just got the life sucked out of you. “Did he leave?” Matt asks softly, not trying to upset you more than you already were. You shove your phone into you pocket and put on a fake smile, ignoring his question. “It’s only 5, we got time,” you say excitedly, trying to pretend like you didn’t just receive the most heart breaking message ever.
Nick and Chris don’t know any better, so they immediately perk up at this and drag you back into the arcade. Matt, on the other hand, can read you like the back of his hand. He sees how your shoulders slump and how a frown replaces your smile when you think no one’s looking.
Throughout the whole night he wants to scream out, ‘you can be with me now!’ But he knows that you’re not ready, maybe you’ll never be ready. And that, to Matt, is so frustrating.
For the rest of the night the boys work towards distracting you from Mike. They use your tokens to win as many games as possible. Matt is focused primarily on convincing you you should leave Mike for good this time. He watches as you attempt to get the basketball into the net as he says, “I’m just saying, you’d be much happier without that guy.”
You fumble with the basketballs in front of you, missing each shot terribly, but welcoming the distraction from the conversation Matt was trying to have. He watches as you roll your eyes and continuing trying to play the game, “tell me one good thing he’s done.” This statement catches you off guard, you’re sure that Mike is a good guy, but for some reason you can’t think of a single good thing he’s done.
You scoff at Matt, throwing the last basketball at the net only for it to hit the rim and fall out. “He does a lot of good things,” you reply annoyed, watching as the machine disperses your tickets. All you earned from this game was 8 tickets considering you missed more than half the shots. “Okay, then name one,” he retorts, ready to challenge you whether you liked it or not. Your mind is racing trying to think of one good thing Mike has done that Matt would find valid, but you still can’t think of one.
Annoyed, you snatch the tickets from the machine, accidentally tearing the last one in half in the process. Matt watches you, noticing how the frustration seems to get the best of you. He knows you won’t be able to think of a single good thing Mike has done, especially not after he ditched you here to fend for yourself. “See, you can’t even think of one. He treats you so bad, y/n. You don’t deserve that, you deserve someone who’ll treat you right,” Matt says, the both of you walking in the direction where you last saw Nick and Chris.
“Oh yeah? Who would that someone be?” you retort, looking around the entire arcade in search of Nick and Chris. You desperately needed to find them so they could serve as a buffer between you and Matt right now. He was asking too many uncomfortable questions and honestly was starting to push your buttons, he doesn’t know Mike like you do. “I mean, I’ve always treated you right,” Matt’s reply is so bold that it even catches him by surprise, what the hell was he even saying right now? He knew he was setting himself up for heartbreak and the friendzone, but he couldn’t stop himself from saying it.
You look at him briefly, a little shocked that he’d even say that. I mean, you two have been best friends for so long that a relationship with Matt would be like dating a brother. The thought is weird, but you don’t want to offend him, “yeah, but you’re my best friend. Friends are supposed to be nice to each other.” Each time you say friend it feels like a stab to the heart. He seemed to be stuck in the friendzone again and again.
“Y/n! Matt!” Nick calls out from the ticket machine, both he and Chris feeding their tickets into it. You perk up at the sight of them and walk over immediately You feel a wave of relief wash over you when you see them, finally you’ll be able to escape this awkward situation Matt put you in. Matt can’t help but feel sad, but he tries not to show it.
“We’re gonna get a remote control car!” Chris says excitedly, referring to the prize they were going to cash in for using all their tickets. Without another word he takes all yours and Matt’s tickets so he can feed them into the machine. You chuckle at this, finding it amusing.
Matt offers a small smile.
After redeeming your prizes, the four of you decided it was time to head home. You picked out a giant plushie while the three of them combined their tickets for Chris’s remote control car.
Matt pulled up to you house reluctantly, wishing he could kidnap you and take you to their house once he saw Mike’s car parked outside. “Mike’s home?” Chris asks you casually as soon as Matt places the car in park. “Yeah, guess so,” you reply as you unbuckle yourself, trying not to sound too excited. Deep down you were bubbling with emotions, mostly happiness because if Mike is home that means he’s definitely not done with your relationship.
“Bye guys, I had so much fun!” you dismiss yourself eagerly, all you want to do is go inside and reconcile with your boyfriend. Nick and Chris bid you goodbye but Matt stays silent, he doesn’t want you to leave. You hug Nick in the back seat and pat Chris’s shoulder as you open the car door. You offer Matt a small, awkward smile before grabbing your plushie and hopping out of the car.
Matt feels so defeated, if he weren’t such a pushover when it came to you he’d tell you the truth. The truth is that Mike is leading you on, playing with your feelings, abusing of emotions, and flaunting you around like a trophy when he feels like it. The truth is that Matt is in love with you and has been since the first time he saw you, but he’s too scared to ruin your friendship to admit it.
Matt watches as you walk up to your front door, plushie tucked under your arm. There’s an eager pep in your step that makes Matt want to throw up. Chris is scrolling through his phone, forgetting about you as soon as got off the car. Nick is watching Matt, confused as to why he looks so sad. “Are we gonna move? I’m fucking hungry, dude,” Chris groans from the passenger seat, throwing his head back dramatically against the car seat.
You were inside already, but Matt stayed outside your house and watched as the lights in your house turned on one by one. He knew you were searching the house like a madwoman for Mike. “Can you drive?!” Nick chimes in, grabbing Matt by the shoulder to break him from his daze. Matt’s eyes remain trained on your bedroom window, watching as the light turns on and your shadow comes into view as he responds, “yeah, sorry.”
He puts the car in drive, slowly letting the car roll down the street. Matt’s breath hitches as Mike’s shadow comes into view, he’s praying that you’ll just run out of the house and back into the car. The car is slowly rolling down the street, Matt’s foot hovering over the break in an attempt to slow the car down even more. Your shadow and Mike’s meet for a hug and soon enough you’re kissing. Matt’s foot slams on the break suddenly causing the car to jolt forward, he knew it was coming but it didn’t hurt any less.
“What the fuck Matt?!” Chris exclaims, looking up at Matt in bewilderment. The seatbelt was choking him slightly and his phone flew off his lap. Nick’s head hit the front seat headrest slightly, causing him to gasp in surprise. “Matt what the actual fuck are you doing?!” Nick yelled, meeting Matt’s eyes through the rearview mirror.
There was no way Matt was about to admit that he was watching you through your window. So, he made up the quickest lie he could think of, “Sorry. I got a cramp.” He offered both his brothers a fake smile in hopes that they’d believe his lie. It seemed to satisfy them seeing as they rolled their eyes and returned to their phones. Matt took his foot off the break, looking back at your house one last time.
The lights were off.
Matt doesn’t hear from you until two days later. You called him at 12pm, which was completely uncommon for you to do. You were usually calling him at 12am, breaking him from his deep sleep to rant about Mike.
“Hello?” Matt answers the phone immediately, if this is another call about Mike and his stupid actions he’s ready to be honest this time. “You busy?” You ask, propping the phone between your shoulder and your face so you can freely look through the racks of clothing in front of you.
Matt examines his surrounding, trying to decide whether he’s truly busy or not. He’s not. “Mmm not really. Why?” He asks, getting up from his spot on the couch and walking over to his room. He hears the metal hangers scraping against the clothings racks in the background before you reply, “wanted to see if you were down for lunch.”
This was the first time you’d asked him to hang out since dating Mike. He couldn’t fight the smile that grew on his face. “Just you and me or Nick and Chris too,” he needed to sound casual, but he was kicking himself for even mentioning Nick and Chris. What if you said yes to inviting them and his time alone with you turned into a group hangout?
“Up to you, I was hoping for it just to be us,” you reply, picking a shirt off the rack. You examine it carefully as you try imagining yourself in it. You decide you don’t like it and put it back. Matt is doing a silent happy dance on the other side of the phone, he feels like this is his chance to tell you the truth. Plus, you don’t seem to be upset with Mike which means that the conversation probably won’t revolve entirely around that loser.
Matt calms himself down, taking a deep breath before replying, “Cool yeah. Should I meet you somewhere?” He’s trying to act casual, but there is no such thing as casual for Matt when it involves you. “You can. Or I can pick you up?” You reply, walking out of the store and to your car. You walk the street cautiously, thanking the people who let you pass with a small hand wave. For you, this conversation really was normal. Just a friend asking another friend to go out to lunch.
For Matt, this conversation felt like the beginning of something new. A new relationship with you, a new attempt at admitting his feelings, even a new outlook on life. He felt positive. “Yeah that works. Are you close?” He has the biggest smile on his face as he looks through his closet for the perfect outfit.
“I’m like 10 minutes away,” you say mindlessly, pausing as you dig through your purse for your keys. “I’ll let you know when I’m there, okay? Love you, friend,” you finished saying once you found your keys and unlocking your car.
There was that word again. Friend. It made Matt shudder, but he tries ignoring it. He wasn’t going to let that sour his mood. “Alright, bye. Love you too,” he replies, but he means it. He intentionally doesn’t call you friend in hopes that you’ll take the hint.
All you do is hum in response and hang up. It breaks Matt’s heart, but he ignores it.
You pick Matt up, arriving to his house exactly 10 minutes later. The two of you decide on a restaurant, engaging in light conversation throughout your meal. Matt couldn’t find the courage to confess to you, especially not with the thought of Mike looming over him.
Matt felt incredibly anxious, his mind racing uncontrollably with all the possible outcomes of tonight. He could confess and it could go one of two ways, you could feel the same or you could reject him for Mike like all the times before. Or he could keep it to himself and remain in the friendzone forever.
The two of you are now walking back to your car, ready to call it a night. “Thanks for coming out with me,” you say with a smile as you hop into the drivers seat. Matt follows suit, getting into the passenger side before replying, “of course, anything for you.” The comment was simple, but it had so many underlying messages that he wished you’d pick up on. ‘Anything for you.’
You seem to pick up some sort of message because you reply with a chuckle, “you’re always saying sappy stuff like that Matt.” He gulps nervously, was this his chance? You start the car, the radio playing dully in the background. The noise replaces the previous silence, only adding to his own frustration, especially because he hated this song. He couldn’t decide whether to do it or not.
“I hate this song,” you mumble, changing the station to another song quickly. He takes this as a sign, a sign to just bite the bullet and spill it all. He needs to start off slow though, if he’s too abrasive it’ll scare you, “so, how are you and Mike doing?”
You two hadn’t spoken about Mike the entire night and for good reason too. The night you got back from the arcade he made a bunch of empty promises, adding in a bunch of fake apologies in between. You, of course, ended up forgiving him only for him to mess up again the next day. So, you decided you were finally done with him and broke up with him for good. Usually when you two would break up you’d allow him back into your life within hours, but this time you blocked him on everything and forced him to move out. Today was your first day as a truly single woman and it felt like a breath of fresh air. You were repulsed by men and decided you were going to be single for a while.
“We broke up actually,” you say calmly, making a long story short. Matt knew all the details of your previous arguments with Mike so there was no point in explaining the obvious. He’s in shock, actually in shock. This is the first time you’ve ‘broken’ up with Mike and weren’t completely hysterical about it.
“When did this happen?!”
You turn the corner onto Matt’s street, nearing his house slowly. “Yesterday morning. I kicked him out and he’s coming for the rest of his stuff tomorrow,” you say like it was the most normal thing ever. How were you so calm? So casual?
Mike moving out was the best news ever, that means that it’s real this time. “Wow. How are you?” he asks. He needs to test the waters before diving head first, especially if he’s going to confess something so important.
“I’m okay. Honestly, I’m not as sad as I thought I’d be. I’m just ready to be single,” you reply, placing the car in park in front of his house. He digests the information, trying to come to terms with the fact that you want to be single. “Right now I’m repulsed at the thought of men. I’m just so done crying over guys, you know? I’m ready to just hang out with my friends and be free.”
“I’m a man. Are you repulsed at the thought of me?” Matt asks in an attempt to make light of the information you just dumped on him. He’s trying not to freak out right now. “No, dude! I mean like men that I’d date. You’re my best friend, it’s different,” you reply, the words cutting into Matt. Everything you just said felt like an insult.
The car is filled with an awkward silence, neither of you know what to say after that. The same song from earlier plays, the song you hate and suddenly it feels more like a bad omen to Matt. You cough in an attempt to break the tension, but Matt remains silent, he feels like he can’t breathe right now.
“Well I had fun today, Matt,” you finally say, unlocking the car so he can use it as an excuse to escape this situation. You don’t know why the conversation suddenly became so awkward, all you know is that this felt weird and you didn’t want to sit in it for longer than you had to.
“Me too,” he replies meekly, struggling to unbuckle himself. “Here let me help,” you offer, reaching towards his seat to help him with the buckle. It all becomes too much as he pushes your hand away, “stop. I got it.” You look at him in shock. What was his problem?
Before you can comment on his behavior, he opens the car door and stumbles out. He can’t seem to leave this situation fast enough. You watch in confusion as he walks into his house without another word. You are worried, but decide he’s just being dramatic and drive off.
Once he’s inside he feels the emotions intensify as he immediately collapses onto the floor. He’s out of breath and his head is ringing with the words you said, ‘No dude! I mean like men that I’d date. You’re my best friend, it’s different.’ He’s hyperventilating at this point, the tears flowing uncontrollably down his face as heaves in an attempt to catch his breath.
Nick and Chris who were in the living room hear this and immediately bolt towards Matt. “Matt? What’s wrong?” Chris asks frantically, getting on his knees to be eye level with his brother. Matt doesn’t respond, instead he grabs onto his Chris and pulls him in for a hug and sobs into his shoulder. He’s desperate for comfort, but nothing seems like enough. Chris understands what his brother needs, holding him tightly in an attempt to console him.
“He’s having a panic attack, let’s take him to his room,” Nick says equally as frantic, squatting in front of his two brothers so he can rub Matt’s back. Chris and Nick attempt to pick Matt up, but he’s glued to the floor, still holding on to Chris for dear life.
“It’s okay buddy, I got you,” Chris says calmly, not wanting to escalate the situation any further. Matt continues to cry, allowing his brothers to comfort him. “Deep breaths, Matt. Deep breaths,” Chris instructs, pulling Matt off of him slightly so he can get it together. Matt nods his head, using all his will power to stop crying and focus on his breathing. Finally, he’s able to calm down and his sobbing is reduced to sniffles.
“Wanna talk about it?” Nick asks lovingly, sitting next to Matt on the floor and rubbing more circles onto his back. “No,” Matt replies, his voice hoarse from all the crying. He looks down at his hands and plays with his rings to occupy his mind. “That’s okay, we’re here for you when you’re ready,” Chris chimes in, taking a seat on the other side of Matt. He rests his head on Matt’s shoulder, patting his thigh to signify that he’s willing to sit here with him for as long as necessary.
“Thanks,” Matt replies sadly, resting his head against the wall behind him. He’s never felt as defeated as he does right now. He’s stuck in the friendzone again and again.
MASTERLIST
A/n:
Honestly such a great request, but I had to keep re-listening to the song to write a story as accurate as possible to it. That’s why there’s no happy ending because the song clearly states that he’s stuck in the friendzone again and again, but I’m willing to do a pt.2 with a happy ending or just a diff outcome. Hope you enjoy.
Also, I’ll be expecting the foot
- L.A.M.B👼🏻💗
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secondbeatsongs · 1 year
Note
Hello! I'm Julie from Cariona and I just want to ask if you're interested in doing ads/promotions here on Tumblr? If yes, how much do you charge per reblog?
For proof of legitimate promotions, you can check @catchymemes, @sulfatto, @isnt, and many others.
Website for reference: http://cariona.com Over 200 five star Facebook reviews: https://www.facebook.com/carionaproducts/reviews
Please feel free to respond here or reach out to us on [email protected] for more details! Thank you once again and have a great week!
absolutely fascinating that you decided to send this as an ask, when you also DM'd me. unfortunately, you may realize that this was a mistake - you see, asks can be responded to publicly.
so, allow me to respond:
hi, Julie! I'd never heard about Cariona before, so I decided to go poking around, and I learned something!
well, I learned a few things, actually. from your site, Cariona seems to be a small business that sells reusable menstrual products. and while I will never advertise a product that I haven't used, there's nothing wrong with wanting people to promote your company.
I have, however, found a few problems.
the first thing I found was this post by @crafiet from May 12th of last year, saying that shortly after making a purchase on your website, her debit card info was leaked, and used to make facebook ad purchases.
it seems that at least back then, your payment system was insecure. I'm really hoping you've fixed that, because. yikes.
and when I messaged crafiet to ask if it was okay if I linked to her post, she also mentioned that even though your website says you ship from Georgia, her package came shipped from China, and took a long time to arrive.
that's pretty sketchy.
the next thing I found was some folks talking about receiving cards with their orders that have a QR code on them with the words "Scan For God's Message To You", and that on the other side, have this bible verse:
O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is. Psalm 63:1
fun fact! that's from the King James Version (which I have a lot of thoughts about, but I'm not going to get into that right now).
additional fun fact! that particular psalm is from that time David fled to the wilderness because Jonathan's dad was trying to kill him.
and that's why I have to talk about the verses that follow it:
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(ID in alt text; link to the NIV version if you want it)
so...are we like 100% sure it's god that David is thinking about here? because...I mean...that's pretty horny, right? and all of this while on the run from his boyfriend's dad?
I'm not saying anything, but like...¯\_(ツ)_/¯
it's a weird verse to choose for this, that's all.
anyway, back to you, Cariona: after seeing people talking about the bible verse cards, I decided to poke around your website more, and allll the way at the bottom of it, finally found your "About Us" page, which ends with this:
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...look. there's nothing inherently wrong with being christian. but to say "we do not wish to impose any beliefs on our customers", and to then put bible verse cards in people's orders? that's sneaky, and I don't like it.
I also think it's a bit sneaky that you've flagged your tumblr account as pro-trans on shinigami eyes. at least, I assume you flagged it yourselves, because I didn't find a single post on your blog that mentions trans issues.
(though you have, entertainingly, reblogged some stranger things fanart, and a castiel cat cosplay)
and while your website uses very gender-neutral language, your "About Us" page doesn't say anything about being inclusive of trans people, just that you don't "discriminate against anyone who has a different belief than ours."
unfortunately, that's not good enough for me. I have this sneaking suspicion that "trans people are the gender they say they are" counts as a "different belief".
lastly, since you say on your website that people can message you asking about your faith, I had a friend do that!
baptists. you're baptists, which is a pretty conservative denomination.
and according to you, part of that 10% you donate goes to your local churches, and some missionaries. who are also probably baptists.
so.
in the end, I just...don't trust you? I don't trust that the 10% you're donating is going to organizations that aren't homophobic or transphobic. I don't believe that you're not trying to impose your beliefs on others, because that's what you're obviously doing. I mean, your "About Me" says that one of the reasons you built this company is to spread the gospel.
and I especially don't like it that you reached out to me (an openly queer person) for promotion without mentioning that you're an evangelical company.
so to answer your question, Julie: no. I am not interested in doing ads or promotions for you on tumblr. and honestly, you probably picked the wrong website for this kind of thing.
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mtfstuff · 10 months
Text
The desired role
I never thought my life could change this drastically. Let me tell you that I once was a strong and fair cop but I lost all of that quickly without fully realizing what I did. It all started a few months ago on this fateful afternoon.
On that day I was on my patrol, driving around in my police cruiser looking for potential trouble as usual.
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I had gotten a call from a young woman that it seems like a young man is selling himself for sex to other men in a more remote area of the town. I was driving around there to see if I could spit him and I could after a fee minutes of searching. I carefully parked the cruiser and tried to sneak up on them. They were in the back of an alley. I could see the young man wearing skin tight latex from neck to toes. He was getting fucked by an older man with a beer gut while another man demanded the young man to suck his dick. I came closer but one of the older man noticed me and started to run. I quickly started to run towards them, shouting at them to stand still. The second man pushed the young man towards me and started to run away too.
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I catched the young man and could only watch as the two old men ran through a backdoor and closed it. I handcuffed the young man and then walked up to the backdoor, trying to pry it open but to no avail. The thick metal door didnt move a bit. I got back to the young man and looked at him thoroughly. His body from neck to toes was covered in latex, even his hands. The only places free of latex was his crotch area and a hole around his butt. His dick was locked away in a chastity cage. He seemed intimidated by me as he didnt even reach my shoulders.
"Are you even old enough to sell yourself in this 'business'?", I asked him starting to walk him towards the cruiser.
"Is this regarding my size? Yeah I know I look young with my 5' but I can assure you that I'm 26 years old.", he answered cowardly.
"Do you have any ID to back up that claim?"
"No. I lost everything around 4 months ago."
I pushed him into the backseat.
I got into the car on the drivers seat.
"Whats your name?", I asked opening the criminal justice information system.
"Jordan Blight.", he said. I could hear him starting to sob.
I entered his name into the computer and found multiple things about him. It started with him disappearing, followed by multiple offensive crimes.
I exhaled deeply. By the looks of it this guy would now go to prison even though I knew that from the way he looked he wouldnt survive a week there.
Jordan must've had a similar thought as he started crying.
"Please... I'll do anything. I just cant go to prison. Please!", he cried.
"Sorry man, but I cant help you.", I answered looking at him through the rearview mirror.
"Please...", he continued crying. "I'll do anything... do you need sexual relief? I'm supposedly good at it. Do you need someone to talk to? I'm a good listener."
I stayed silent. I felt somewhat pitty for him and his situation.
"Do you need someone to get drugs? I know some who have them.", he continued.
I looked at him concerned.
"Or do you want me as an insider? Or should I be your slave?"
I subconsciously moved an eyebrow and unfortunatly Jordan noticed it.
"What was it? The insider or the slave?", he asked with a grin.
I cleared my throat.
"How did you get in your situation? I mean I wouldnt choose to walk around in a latex suit covering everything but my head, dick and ass.", I asked.
"Changing the subject, I see.", he snickered. "I was drugged by some I considered friends. They stripped me, put me in this latex suit and cock cage. They also made sure that I dont get out by welding the zipper fully into the suit. They then brought me here, into a city I dont know to make me a sex slave. And they succeeded. I got addicted to sex and drugs over the last few months. It feels like I know more about the taste of dicks and cum than real food. It feels like I dont even remember how it feels to wear something else than latex."
"I'm sorry to hear that. I - I dont even know what to say.", I said.
"Say if it was the slave or the insider.", he laughed.
"Neither. Just a weird thought I sometimes have."
"Tell me about it."
I felt torn. He had the right appearance for my weird wish but he was just a stranger, even more a stranger I've just arrested. But I still had this feeling that I could tell him.
"Since I was in pre-school I was the tallest guy and even without working out I was pretty muscular.", I said. "And I dont know why as my family isnt tall at all. Since then I started to get this wish, to feel small. Even get somewhat humiliated."
It was a weird silence.
"I didnt see that coming.", Jordan said. "You, this hunk of a good looking man, wants to be humiliated. You want to be in my position?"
"Yeah, I do.", I said. "I just want to know how it feels."
"Well, I'd do anything to not go to prison but I dont know how much I could humiliate you."
He chuckled.
"I mean I'm 5' and you're like 6'3.", he added.
"6'5 to be precise.", I said. "I could have something that would change this situation. Only if you're down for it."
"I'd be doing it if it means that I wont go to prison, so yeah. Tell me, what is it you have."
I moved around in my seat, fearing his reaction to what I would tell him.
"I have a body swap item with me.", I told him.
He bursted out into laughs. It was almost contagious. Almost.
He slowly caught himself again.
"You cant be serious!", he looked at me. "Oh shit, you're serious."
"I dont know if it works but it could be your way out of prison if you do it with me for a short time. Its said to be reversible so we'd swap back after that session of ours.", I said.
He thought about it for a moment.
"Sure, why not. I always wondered how it felt to have a body as incredible as yours."
"Then its a deal.", I started the engine and drove us to an even more remote area of the city.
When we arrived I turned off the cruiser and got out. I opened the trunk of the cruiser and took a strange needle out of it. I closed it and opened Jordan's door. I pulled him out and pushed him into an abandoned alleyway.
I unlocked his handcuffs and he rubbed his wrists.
"So how does this work?", Jordan asked.
"We have to prick a finger each with this.", I held the needle in front of him. "Then the pricked tips have to touch and then we swap or transform into each other. That wasnt fully clear."
"Then lets do it.", he answered.
I took one of his fingers and pricked the tip. He let out a slight gasp. Then I pricked my finger and held it up. He pressed his finger against mine and I immediately felt a weird sensation, as if a force was pulling my whole body from my finger.
Jordan musst have felt it himself as he pulled his hand away. I looked at him and noticed that he started to grow, not just in height but also in terms of muscles. His latex suit got pulled thinner and thinner before it finally ripped in multiple places. The scraps of latex fell to the ground, revealing Jordans new muscular body that was still growing. I could immediately see that his muscles looked like mine. Jordan marveled at his new body, already smelling his armpits or feeling his abs. I looked down at his dick to see if it was growing too and it did. It was already straining against the cage before the cage sprung open and fell to the ground. Jordan's dick was the spitting image of mine and it was rock hard.
Jordan was almost the same height as me now and only his face looked different. A beard stubble was starting to grow on his cheeks as his bone structure started to morph into mine. His hair grew shorter and his eye color changed. It took only a few seconds and it was as if I was looking into a mirror. A naked mirror.
"This is incredible!", Jordan said feeling his biceps. "We could be twins right now! But shouldnt you look like me?"
"Yeah, I thought I would transform too but until now I only have this strange feeling.", right then the feeling changed and I started to shrink. While shrinking my uniform felt heavier and the gun holster looser every second and suddenly my pants, including my boxers, fell to the ground. My jacket and vest were huge on me, my hands didnt even stick out of the sleeve anymore and my dick was hidden behind the vest but I could feel how hard it was. It was almost painful.
I looked at Jordan and he had a huge grin on his face.
"Your manly face on my body wearing a uniform thats to big for you is just a funny sight to behold.", he said not letting go of his new muscles.
I started to feel my face change. The receding beard as well as the quickly growing hair tickled. With a faint plop I could hear my bones change and then the feeling vanished.
"Looks like I'm the officer now.", Jordan said.
He grabbed me by the throat and lifted me up. I could feel my socks and boots slip off my feet before I felt the cold ground beneath my butt. Jordan had dropped me.
"Man this strength is crazy!", he exclaimed.
I coughed a few times, trying to get my throat to feel normal again.
Jordan grabbed my arms and quickly pulled the rest of the uniform off of my body. I was now sitting on the cold floor completely naked.
Jordan dropped the vest, jacket and undershirt. I could hear him breathing heavily.
"I havent worn real clothes for months.", I could hear him say to himself.
He picked up my boxers from my pants and looked at them in his hands. He quickly smelled them and let out a quiet moan before carefully slipping his legs through them. He pulled them up to his hips and took his time to position his new big dick in a comfortable place.
It looked like Jordan quickly forgot about me because of the uniform.
He continued by pulling my socks out of my boots before pulling them over his feet and muscular calves. He wiggled his toes and giggled.
He grabbed the undershirt and pulled it over his broad chest. I marveled at how great it fit him. I now saw that I truly knew how to show off my body.
He removed the gun holster from the belt before stepping into the pants. He closed the belt and added the holster back.
He grabbed the jacket and quickly put it on before adding the vest onto his torso.
The last thing left were the boots. He seemed to almost celebrate this. He grabbed them and slowly unlaced them. He relished stepping into them, I could see it. He tied them again and took a few steps.
"This feels so good. Wearing real clothes, a uniform even. And then wearing shoes again. No more barefoot in latex.", he said.
Standing before me really was the spitting image of me, officer Stephen Benson. An officer with a bright future, thinking about how he could do anything as me now made my dick even harder.
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"What are you going to do with me, officer?", I asked trying to get his attention.
He helped me up before pushing me face first against the wall.
"You can be more than lucky I got my uniform back. Impersonating an officer is a serious crime!", he said.
I felt him rubbing his crotch against my back.
"That was all just a big misunderstanding sir!", I answered.
I suddenly felt how he put the handcuffs around my wrists on my back.
"Misunderstanding or not, you're going to jail.", he said.
I got nervous, was he just roleplaying or taking over my life. I wanted to be submissive but I didnt want to go to jail. The thought of him taking over made me even harder. My dick was pressing so hard against the dirty brick wall.
"You're lucky as I'm in need of sexual relief.", he turned me around to face him. "And you may not go to jail if you go down and do a thing for me."
Jordan had a devilish grin on my old face. I went down and he immediately pushed my face into my old crotch. I could smell the fabric as well as the stench of my old sweat. But most of all I could feel the outline of the beast inside the pants that was once mine.
He continued pressing my face into his crotch.
"Worship me. Worship my muscles and uniform!", he said.
I couldnt answer because my face was pushed so hard against his crotch but I managed to move my hands behind my back to get his attention there.
He bent himself over me to unlock one side of the handcuffs again.
I immediately moved my hands to his firm butt and squeezed it. My hands slowly ran down his legs, feeling the muscles beneath the fabric every time he flexed his legs. I knew that it should be wrong, worshipping your real body but it just felt so good.
My hands went down further, now slightly massaging his calves before I ran my hands over my combat boots he now wore. Touching the leather felt surprisingly good so I kept working on his feet. That combined with inhaling the musk of my old crotch and uniform felt intoxicating.
"Take it out and suck it!", I heard Jordan order with my old deep voice.
It sent chills down my spine knowing that I sounded like that before but now I wasnt in control of it or any other part of that body.
I opened the belt and pants and pulled out his dick. It was more than massive from my point of view and it was already throbbing and leaking pre-cum.
I opened my mouth and Jordan saw that as his opportunity to push the full 8 inches down my throat. I thought that I would have to throw up but this body had like no gag reflex anymore. I continued sucking on my old dick while Jordan controlled my speed by having his hands behind my head.
It felt weird and at first I didnt knew what to do but it only took a few seconds before the muscle memory kicked in and I started sucking like a pro. I could feel the veins pulsate in sync with Jordan's heartbeat. I used my tongue to play with it and I heard Jordan moan every now and then.
He suddenly grabbed my head more tightly before I felt his dick erupting in my mouth. I immediately started to swallow and tasted cum for the first time. The salty but still somewhat sweet taste was weird at first but it felt more normal with every string Jordan shot into my mouth.
"Dont spill.", he said panting.
I swallowed everything before he pulled me to my feet again. He turned me around again and I could immediately feel him running his dick along my ass. He pushed it in without warning but it didnt hurt at all.
"Damn, my hole was loose.", Jordan said. "I have more to give to you."
He pounded me hard but it still turned me on more. Knowing that the roles would be reversed in reality. I should be the muscular officer and Jordan should be this twink but right now I was living my phantasy.
His thrusts changed pace and I could feel how he prepared to unleash another load into me. He pushed me tight against the wall, his hands on my hips as I felt him shooting his warm and slimy masculine seed up my ass.
He pulled out and I felt him wiping off his dick on my butt cheeks.
I was covered in sweat but it felt great to have been used like this and I bet Jordan loved being a muscular officer too.
I was awaiting that he would unlock the handcuffs again so that we could swap back but he suddenly grabbed me with full force by my neck and threw me to the ground.
"You let something drip out of your ass!", he said firmly pointing at his feet. "Go on and clean my awesome combat boots."
I got on my knees and licked the cum off of my old boot. It tasted just like before, only that it had now dirt mixed into it. I was almost done licking as I felt a few finger intrude my butt. Jordan pulled them out again and tasted it.
"Damn man, this body tastes good.", he said.
Suddenly we both looked intensely at each other knowing exactly what caused it. It felt like a damn broke in our minds. My mind got flooded with the memories of Jordan and he probably got access to my memories.
"This- this changes everything!", he said.
He pulled me up.
I cleared my throat to sound manlier.
"Are you ready to change back? There are spare clothes in the trunk of the cruiser you can wear after that.", I said.
"No man.", he said.
"What do you mean, no?"
He pushed me against the wall again.
"You wanted to be me. You wanted to be humiliated and I agreed to escape prison.", he flashed me a quick smile. "But I'm the man now. I have the muscles. I wear the uniform. We'll do this my way now."
"But- but you cant just be a cop and do my job. I cant stay like this."
"You enjoyed being like this."
He gestured to my small, hard and slightly leaking dick.
"And I more than enjoyed being you.", he continued. "You have two options now, 'Jordan'. Keep complaining about swapping back and I'll send you to prison. Or get into the car and be me."
I stared at him in shock.
"It's Thursday, right?", he asked.
"Yes."
"Then lets make a deal. We stay like this till Sunday. If you then still want to swap back we'll do it. If you want us to stay like this we'll stay."
"Deal!"
He grabbed my balls tightly and I let out a loud, uncontrolled moan. He laughed.
"Good. I still have to be on my patrol for 2 more hours. So I'll leave you here. You wanted to be humiliated so you have to make a choice. Stay here until I come back to get you or look around searching for clothes. But if you do, time is running. I wont wait here for you when I'm finshed.", he said.
He laughed again and walked to the cruiser. He stepped into the driver seat, started the engine and left.
Only then I noticed that Jordan managed to place his old chastity cage on my dick.
I didnt fully understand how it got this far but I felt good. The humiliation was everything I always wanted but I still felt the urge to get my body back. I was excited to see what the last few days would bring.
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ashboy-3 · 4 months
Text
The Unspoken Deal
Fandom: Danny Phantom, John Constantine, and DCU Characters: John Constantine, Danny Fenton/Phantom, Batman, Superman, other JL members Words: 3507 Summary:
Danny and John have a deal. It's a simple deal. Every month they have a meet up. Danny keeps as much control over the ghost as he can in return John keeps track of them in the human realm. That's it nothing else should be so simple.
So why do feelings keep getting involved and why does the justice league suddenly seem so interested in the beings of the infinite realms.
John knows one thing for sure: This is all Danny's fault.
“You know these meetings are supposed to be taken seriously? Right mate?” John Constantine asked, only a little annoyed at dealing with the half-ghost.
“Who says? The council, meh I don’t really fully care what they have to say,” the half-ghost laughed, throwing another snowball at the human.
“Why do I put up with you again?” Constantine rubbed his hand over his face.
“You love me,” the ghost teased.
“What makes you so sure,” John hid the small smile that was on his face. He would never admit it, but the half ghost does hold a special place within his heart, a place that very few ever made it to.
“Any big threats I need to know about?” the ghost floated in front of John, ignoring the question that was being asked of him.
“Nothing I’ve heard about oh Danny boy,” John nodded towards him, watching as the Ghost King looked him up and down.
“Sell your soul recently?” Danny eyed him.
“Don’t know what your talkin about mate,” John avoided looking at the ghost, choosing instead to focus on his neglected cigarette.
“Well mate,” Danny easily copied the brit’s accent. “I happen to have a soul piece here.” Danny took the small delicate object out of his pocket, showing it off to John’s widened eyes.
“Be careful with that!” He shouted, seeing Danny just throwing it in the air as if it was a plastic ball.
“I would be if you didn’t treat your soul like a throw away joke,” Danny glared at his old friend, watching him put out the cancer stick as the two walked inside the castle also known as phantom’s keep and talk. “I’m serious John. Every time you sell your soul, I have to find a way to get it. You’ve sold over half of your soul. Soon you won’t have any pieces left,” Danny rolled his eyes, walking into a room where he keeps a singular candy jar, dropping the glowing piece in the jar. It made a small clink as it fell with the other pieces.
“That really is my whole soul isn’t it,” John peaked into the room to look at the jar.
“Farid so. Makes almost a whole soul. Be careful, our time is almost up so I’ll be seeing you next month?” Danny frowned at the idea of John leaving.
“I’ll be sure to give you a call if something comes up mate,” John assured him.
“And the heroes will be kept out of my realm?” They both know Danny’s rules about humans walking around the realms. Even now, years later from his teenage years, the humans he allows in are few and small. Adding heroes to that list just makes it worse.
“No heroes,” John assured him, opening the portal with a simple spell, stepping back into the house of mystery. “I’ll be seeing you ole Danny boy,” John smiled a sad smile at watching the portal close, shutting off his communication with the older ghost.
Recently all of their monthly meetings have the old warlock feeling like this. Feeling like something is missing or wrong. Sometimes he debates saying more, extending their meetings, even offering to meet more than once a month, but it never goes that far, choosing instead to ignore the feeling and continue on his day.
Pouring himself a drink, a favorite activity of his. He couldn’t help the groan that came from his mouth at hearing his phone ring.
Ring Ring Ring
Constantine sighed as the annoying ring hurt his ears. It was worse when he checked the caller ID. “What do ya want bats. Ima little busy?”
“Meeting at the watchtower. Be there,” the rough voice ordered from the phone.
“You could at least butter me up a little,” the thick British accent responded. Batman didn’t dignify him with a response, choosing instead to just hang up the phone.
“Well doll seems I still can’t take a break,” John signed, talking to the house. Downing his drink within one gulp he casted another spell, landing him right in the watchtower.
“Do you have to appear on the table every time?” Superman asked in wonder.
“Just how magic works mate,” John dusted off his tan coat, stepping off the table that was surrounded by multiple leaguers. “Alright what’s this whole shin dig about?”
“We have gotten multiple reports and sightings about strange creatures,” Batman started, clicking buttons on a small remote for all of the leaguers to see. Up on the big screens were creatures, creatures that Constantine was very familiar with. A bad feeling began to weave its way into his liver ruined gut.
“Are they aliens?” one of the leaguers questioned.
“Nothing in any of our databases,” Hal shook his head with crossed arms.
“Nothing from under the sea,” Aquaman agreed.
“So, they’ve come from a strange place that none of us have heard about?” Wonder Woman threw her hands in the air from disbelief.
“I don’t believe they come from the underworld, but John would be a better judge then me,” Zatara looked towards the brit.
“I don’t know nothing bout them mate. Prolly best to leave them be for now,” John shrugged, ignoring the questioning looks he was getting from some his ‘coworkers’ with trust issues.
“I’ll look more into them,” Zatara nodded. “Find out if they become a threat.” He assured the league.
“We’ll be looking into the lantern database and getting contact with others, find out if anyone knows anything,” Jon agreed, nodding towards Hal. All three getting up to leave the table.
“Well, if that’s all I’ll be on my bloody way. Drag me out of my house for notin,” John muttered angrily.
“Actually, John if you wouldn’t mind having a conversation with me?” Zatara asked, waving him over.
“Fine,” the brit groaned, getting a pack of his smokes out, lighting one up within the watchtower, ignoring glares he was getting from the three top dogs.
Zatara had taken John to a lone room, nothing really in it besides a desk, a few chairs, and one small couch, it was clearly only a room used for conversations.
“What’s this bout?” John wondered.
“You know something about those creatures,” Zatara stated firmly.
“I know nothin bout nothin,” John nodded, not agreeing with the magician’s statement.
“Oh please, you’re eyes widened when you saw the pictures. If you know something it should be shared. I will not reveal your secrets, however if you refuse to say anything it will just cause everyone, including me, to dig deeper into them.”
“Is that a threat?”
“It’s a promise. They could be dangerous.”
John laughed at that statement. “If that’s all I’m leaving.” Zatara was ready to fight back but looking up he discovered to see the brit gone.
***
“Danny mate pick up your damn phone!” John yelled at the blasted thing from his third time calling his old friend, now pacing around the old House of Mystery. Grabbing the full glass of scotch that the house kindly made for him.
“Sorry John. I was in a meeting,” Danny smiled into the phone. He may be a supernatural being, but he still had plenty to use of his fourteen-year-old mind, an age he hasn’t been for many years.
“Danny you bloody idiot! I thought that you were keeping them under control!” John yelled into the phone, surprising Danny.
“Don’t you dare yell at me John Constantine!” Danny yelled back into the phone, stopping him in his place.
“You’re right. I’m sorry Danny boy. The Justice League just got on my bloody ass about your spooks. Bats is ready to go to war with them,” John sat down in his chair.
“Want to summon me? We can talk about it?” Danny asked into the phone, both knew the undertones of the conversation.
“Things never go right when I summon you,” John refused to look towards a picture of him and Danny. The old ghost laughing, his baby face unable to grow much facial hair, as John cheered a beer, a smile on his face as well. It was one of their first nights out together in the human world.
“But it’s fun. No funny business this time?” Danny offered.
“Now you’re just tempting fate love,” John grinned into his scotch.
“You’re easy to tempt,” Danny nodded in agreement, both understanding the silent message.
Grabbing a piece of green glowing chalk John stumbled towards an empty part of his floor, no need to look up the sigils Danny choose for his summoning. He didn’t understand most of them, but the guy laughed every time he appeared in the human realm, a silent joke that only he knows. He remembers one drunken night when Danny tried to explain, he got nowhere with the brit.
“Numquam agnus dabo te
numquam agnus dimittam te
numquam amet discurrere et deseram te
numquam agnus fac te clamare
numquam agnus dicere vale
numquam agnus dic mendacium et nocuerunt tibi”
John, always confused by the spell, spoke it loud and clear, letting the candles and lights around the house dance as the green fire descended from the hells, lighting up the circle, leaving in a swirl with a half ghost king, smiling and evil smile at him.
“You summoned me,” Danny stepped out of the circle, walking closer to John.
“I summoned you,” he agreed, the mood much different from their business meeting they had just yesterday. John’s breathing becoming deeper and heavier the closer Danny stepped towards him. It forever amazed him that the ghost could become bigger or smaller with just a thought.
“I promised no funny business,” Danny noted, his half breaths just as deep.
“Screw that!” John declared, pushing their lips together, creating a fire between the two. A fire that would not let out till the two were done.
This was routine for when John summoned Danny. A routine that neither is sure how it started, but neither regret. They both agree it’s just sex. No feelings need to be mixed in, but John can’t help the flutter in hie heart when he thinks about everything that Danny does for him. Keeping him updated, collecting his soul contracts, giving him this. It was everything that he could dream about.
“Do you want to stop?” Danny asked carefully, his breath on John’s.
“If you stop, I will exorcize you,” John glared at the ghost.
“Fair enough,” Danny laughed, the two stumbling towards John’s room in the old mystery house.
The next day, both barely clothed, wrapped up in blankets and each other, John woke up, staring at Danny, tracing his fingers over the old, faded scars.
“You’re staring again,” Danny’s eyes fluttered open.
“You make it hard not to,” John grinned at him, turning around in the bed to light a cigarette.
“You said my subjects are hurting the humans,” Danny started to sit up in the bed, the ring of rage glowing proudly on his finger.
“I never said hurting. I keep an eye on them for you here. I promised, didn’t I?” John turned towards him, clearly understanding that this is no longer pleasure, only business.
“Then what was the call about?” Danny raised an eyebrow, getting up from the bed in a way only one trained in royalty could. John thought that he was beautiful.
“Bats called in a meeting. Trying to figure out where they came from. I was honest. Told them they ain’t form the underworld. Bloody Zatara caught me. Wanted to know how I recognized them. Refused to tell him that they were looking for limbo. I made a promise to ya Danny boy and I intend to keep it,” John tapped his cigarette on the ashtray he keeps by the bed. Watching as Danny slowly dressed himself in his torn-up jeans and shirt, a jacket going with it. One would never think he was dead, much less royalty.
“Do you want me to talk to them?” Danny asked.
“Do you want to talk to them?” John uno reversed him.
“I’m free in two days. I’ll calm down the Justice League,” Danny snapped his fingers, disappearing in green fire, just the same as he arrived. John knows that when he walks back to his living room all evidence of his summoning will be gone as well.
“Damn. You have it bad,” a voice laughed from the living room.
“Damn it!” John shouted, face turning red from anger as he shut his bedroom door, a door that was not shut last night, as he quickly got dressed, stomping back into the living room. “Chas. What the bloody hell are you doing here?”
“Checking up on you. Someone has to,” he shrugged. “Haven’t seen you be like that with someone in forever. So, when’s the next date?” Chas teased.
“Sod off Chas. We’re not dating,” John waved him away, grabbing a cold beer.
“Sure. You only look the people you shag like that because no feelings are attached,” Chas nodded, clearly sarcastic.
“He doesn’t want a relationship. He just wants to make sure I keep his subjects out of trouble while in the human realm. Nothing more nothing less,” John took a big gulp of beer.
“Have either of you ever actually talked about this?” Chas asked.
“C’mon mate. We’ve never talked about it because there is nothing to talk about,” John yelled. “We meet in his realm at a set time we talk. If something comes up, I can call him,” John shrugged.
“so, nothing ever happened while in his realm?” Chas raised an eyebrow.
“Nothing worth bringing up in conversation,” John argued back, the jar that contains his soul in the back of his mind.
“Sure,” Chas snorted, clearly not believing him. “I’ll leave you. Just. Don’t ruin this for yourself John. You are clearly happy with him and that doesn’t happen often with you,” Chas walked out of the house, leaving John by himself, only the house to keep him company.
“I don’t like him. I can’t like him. Why would I even like him?” John asked himself and the house. “The guy only rescues my soul every chance he can get. He willingly comes to visit the human realm for me. He willingly gave me his summoning. “Fuck!” John shouted, realization hitting him.
Panic still fresh in his brain he called up Batman. “I have news about the creatures. Meeting in two days.” John didn’t give the guy a chance to reply, closing his phone and ending the call. He has two days to get his body ass unsober as possible before he has to see Danny again.
***
“Alright bats. Everyone here?” John asked, appearing once again on the table, the annoyance clear on Superman’s face.
“You have news about the strange creatures?” Batman asked, coming from him however, everyone knew that it was an order.
“Yeah yeah. I’ll get to that. Move out of the way people,” John only got down form the table to put his bag down, grabbing the green glowing chalk, and walking back up on the table, aware that he has other magic user’s eyes on him. Writing the familiar symbols, he knew by heart. He still had the old book on his shelf, but he has no use for it.
“Be prepared mates. He’s a tad dramatic,” John warned, muttering the same summoning from before. His eyes turning white as green flames enveloped the room, clearly it was done in a more dramatic way for the audience the two have present.
“Numquam agnus dabo te
numquam agnus dimittam te
numquam amet discurrere et deseram te
numquam agnus fac te clamare
numquam agnus dicere vale
numquam agnus dic mendacium et nocuerunt tibi”
Unlike yesterday where all Danny was wearing was ripped jeans, a t-shirt full of small holes and a warm jacket, today he was draped in armor of black, white, and ecto green. The crown of fire worn proudly at the top of his head and the ring of rage glowing proudly on his finger. Fire forming under his feet as he took steps down the table. John had to take a smirk at how Danny presented himself. This is the same person who tripped over his feet walking in a straight line the other week, crashing his face right into ghost rocks. It never amazed John that Danny could present himself this way, but no one could deny the affect that it had.
“Who are you?” Batman asked, taking the lead as usual.
“Did you not explain to them?” Danny’s voice now held an echo to it, a few leaguers unsure if they were hearing him correctly.
“Sorry love figured you would love to do the honors,” John waved him off, taking a seat.
“I am Phantom. King of the Infinite Realms. John Constantine is the watcher of the human realm for me. He has informed me that the “Justice League” was getting curious about my subjects,” Danny chooses his words carefully. John snorted at his phrasing of the Justice League. “My subjects are not causing lasting harm to any humans. No humans have been injured from them or have been killed. There should be no reason that this club house is looking into my subjects,” Danny’s eyes glowed a deep green, clearly angry about the accusations he has formed in his mind.
“We never claimed that your subjects have injured anybody. We were just concerned. These are new creatures. No one knew of them, and we wanted to make sure they were not a risk,” Wonder Woman was quick to jump in.
“Hah!” Danny grinned, showing his fangs in full view. “My subjects are not new. Most have been around longer then you have been alive. It is your ignorance that has made you assume such a thing.” John knows that if this was with just the two of them alone Danny would have cracked some stupid joke like, “You know what assuming does right? Make an ass out of you and me! Ha! Come on John! It’s funny!”
“I’m sorry?” Wonder Woman was confused.
“My subjects are mostly ghost. Spirits who have refused to pass on. Spirits who have been formed from human ideals. Death, Nocturne, and Time. These are all spirits that have been formed from the thoughts of humans. They will live as long as their ideas live on. There are ones that form naturally, there are ones who have died and left this world, unable to move on they come to my realm. They come back to finish what they started, their right to, or to just cause petty mischief, something they need to do to survive. I keep an eye on every single one in the human realm. From now on if there is an issue you go straight to John. Do I make myself clear?” There was a fire burning in Danny’s eyes as he turned around, stomping out, not wanting to hear any more questions.
“Guess I have no choice but to follow his highness,” John sounded like he was mocking the king, but he knows that if Chas was here, he would call John out on his bullshit quicker then he could snap.
“Did you see their faces?” Danny smiled, as John grabbed Danny’s arm, easily bringing them back to the house of mystery.
“They believe that you are a ruthless tyrant who cares only for his people,” John agreed, pouring himself a drink.
“Pour me one. I know it’s great isn’t it! I worked all day with Ember to get that speech perfect!” Danny’s grin couldn’t get wider, John handed him the drink, watching as Danny drank it with ease.
“Listen Danny boy,” John started, happy that he had the famous liquid courage to help him In this moment.
“What is it, John?” Danny looked up from his drink. There were no problems. The Justice League was handled. What else could there be.
“Mate- Love. It has come to my attention that we might have to rethink our situation John tried, not fully sure how to get the words out.
“You’re going to have to be clearer with me John,” Danny crossed his legs, floating in midair as if Gravity didn’t exist.
“Love I-“John’s throat stopped, not letting him get the words out. “Damn it!” John chugged the rest of his drink, cursing the heavens at his predicament. “Danny I- “once again he was stopped by himself, his beer not helping him at all.
Tired of trying with words, John did the next best thing, he let his actions speak for him. Grabbing Danny, pulling him close, no lust in the moment, unlike a few days ago, he took a deep hopeful breath and pushed a messy kiss upon the half ghost. “Danny, I like you,” John was finally able to whisper.
“Took you long enough mate,” Danny’s smile was wide and hopeful, grabbing John’s neck to kiss him once again. John knows that he’s in for a lifetime of puns, but he is kissing Danny, kissing the half ghost he doesn’t regret a single thing.
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apollos-olives · 3 months
Note
i really liked hearing you talking about the geography of the west bank. id love to hear more about what you love about palestine if you want to talk about it. if not i hope u have a good day! i’m sorry anons are being so weird to you and i hope this ask doesn’t cross any boundaries
i've talked about a lottt of different things i love about palestine, but i can talk a bit more about the old city in nablus if you'd like :)
the old city is where you go if you want to find anything and everything. there are hundreds of shops and vendors and you get to meet so many different people and experience so many different things, it's so cool. over the shops and buildings are decorations and long cloths and banners that are colored in so many different ways, and they provide shade on hot days and sometimes the colors reflect off of the buildings and the ground so everywhere you go you're engulfed in bright and beautiful colors as you walk through the streets.
you can find a lot of different shops there, and they usually have huge portions of their products on display so you can pick and choose personally and serve yourself on what you'd like to buy. people who sell spices or nuts have HUGE bags of them and you get to grab a plastic kilo bag and fill up as much as you'd like. people who sell candy and gummies do the same thing, so you get to choose however much you want to fill up your bag. my family almost never is able to eat gummies where we live because it's not halal, so whenever we're in palestine we fill up kilos upon kilos of gummies in bags so we can take them back home and eat them :)) my uncle says the gummies they sell in palestine aren't halal either but whatever man where is the whimsy 😔😔 let us have this. the last time my dad went, he came back with a kilo bag of gummies after i asked him to bring some when he returned, so for months i kept the bag of gummies and slowly ate them. i finished the bag a while ago but i loveeeee gummies and whenever i find ones i'm allowed to eat, i'm very excited about it. i cannot escape my inner child.
there are many refreshments that you can find too. in the summers lots of vendors sell ice cream and slushies (as most places do, i assume) and different juices, one of them is 'tamar hindi' which is a drink you'll often see around ramadan and eid. there are stores that sell different pickled vegetables in barrels, and they'll even let you take some out directly and eat them so you can taste and choose which ones you prefer. of course there are lots of food places, but ohhhh my god there was one shawarma place in nablus that i went to that had the BEST shawarma i've ever eaten in my life. like by FAR it was one of the most delicious things i've ever eaten in my entire life and i'm not exaggerating. i yearn for a shawarma as good as the one i had in nablus. wallahi it was genuinely mind blowing. yall don't understand how good it was. i cry and sob over it all the time.
you can also find lots of clothes!! from our traditional palestinian abayas to modern t-shirts, you can find tons. a lot of the stuff that is sold in palestinian territories is bootleg, because real brands are hard to find their way in through the occupation. because of that, some of the more "modern" stuff is really low quality. i bought a belt from the old city and only was able to wear it once before it literally crumbled in my hands. it CRUMBLED. for 50 shekel too 😭😭😭 absolute shame. that's why i think it's more reliable to buy the traditional stuff, like tatreez designs, because at least that stuff is actually real.
there are jewlery shops too!! they're full of gorgeous designs and you can often find evil eye jewelry in a lot of places. i absolutely love the evil eye design and i have a lotttt of evil eye jewelry. some muslims disapprove though, but whatever. i just think it looks nice. i like its meaning too. interesting stuff to me.
palestinians use different types of currencies too!! we often use the israeli shekel, but that's slowly becoming out of use 🤷‍♂️ but we also use the jordanian dinar, and we even use american dollars, usd, to buy stuff.
OH LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE KNAFEH SHOP !! nablus is famous for knafeh. we're like. THE knafeh city. there's a very VERY famous old white-bearded man who owns the famous knafeh shop of nablus and you can almost always find him every day making knafeh. his place always has a huge amount of people there, watching him as he makes the knafeh right in front of them and then serves it out to everyone. genuinely THE knafeh of all time. him and his knafeh are a very cherished part of our city.
i'm sure there are MANY more things i can go on about, but i hope this was interesting to you! thank you for asking :)
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beansprean · 1 year
Text
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My Familiar's Ghost part 13
Follow your dreams Nadja
Masterpost
(ID in alt and under cut)
ID: 1a. Nadja is sitting at a thin wooden desk, hunched over a silver laptop. She is dressed in a dark red bustle skirt and bright red satin shirt with high puffy shoulders and a high folded collar. Her hair is pulled half back with a red ribbon and she has on several rings along with a thin gold chain. Behind her, Ghost Guillermo phases through a wall and shouts, "There's my laptop!" Nadja startles, hands freezing on the keyboard and gaze jerking up over the top of the lid. 1b. Reverse shot over Guillermo's shoulder as Nadja turns her head around, hands in fists on either side of the computer and recovering from the scare. The laptop screen is indistinct but appears to be some kind of login page. She snarls, "Guillermo, don't you have something to clean?! Instead of fucking sneaking up on me like a...sneaky...sneaker!" Guillermo ignores the question and furrows his brow, asking "What are you doing?" 1c. Reverse shot facing Nadja as Guillermo float up beside her. She smiles and gestures to the screen, explaining "I am going on the Only Fans so humans will pay moneys for my boobs and holes. Sweet Jenna told me about it." Behind her, Guillermo's eyes widen at the screen and his shoulders hike up in shock, face turning a spicy Catholic red. 1d. Guillermo throws himself over the table and slams the laptop shut, shouting "No, no, no, no, no, no! Not with my laptop!" Nadja pulls her hand back from the keyboard before it closes on her and hisses at the back of Guillermo's head, complaining "Hey!! You are dead! You don't get to keep your things!"
2a. Guillermo hugs the laptop to his chest protectively, turning his torso away from Nadja and floating up out of her reach. Nadja, as if forgetting she can also fly, swipes at him angrily from the ground, her hand passing through his backside. She yells, "Give it back you nosy little vlákas!" Guillermo yells back over his shoulder, "Use your own computer!! What do you even need money for, the house is fixed!" 2b. Close up on Nadja on an intense red background, arm still raised from her grabbing attempts. Her lip is lifted in a sneer but her eyes are shining vulnerably as she snaps back, "So I can be successful again!" Close up on Guillermo, expression softening in concern as he meets her gaze over his shoulder. 2c. Guillermo floats back down, laptop tucked under one arm. Nadja turns her back on him and crosses her arms to hide her upset expression. Guillermo gently tells her, "Nadja...it wasn't the money that made you feel successful. It was the nightclub. Nadja snaps back, "Who said anything about my stupid dead nightclub? It's gone forever now." 2d. Nadja hunches in on herself further, face crumpling as if she's upset herself at the reminder. Guillermo attempts to place a hand on her shoulder in comfort, but it phases right through. Face full of sympathy, he says, "I know, I'm sorry. Look, you can...sell your boobs and holes all you want if that makes you feel better, okay? On your own computer. Or... I don't know, get a hobby?"
3a. Close up on Nadja in the foreground, expression gone skeptical. She one eyebrow and sneers, "A hobby?" looking unimpressed by the suggestion. Behind her, Guillermo drifts upwards thoughtfully, eyes on the ceiling and laptop hugged to his chest. He replies, "Yeah, like gardening or knitting or-" 3b. Reverse shot from Guillermo's shoulder. Nadja whips around, hands on hips, expression angry and incredulous as she shouts, "Do I look like a bitch who knits?!" Guillermo keeps his eyes on the ceiling, thinking "yes" to himself. Out loud, he replies, "Crochet, then, I don't know! Just make something you can be proud of!" 3c. Waist up shot of Nadja as Guillermo phases out of a wall to the left. His parting words are "Trust me, it can help." Nadja looks away with a frown, holding one arm by the elbow protectively, but she appears to be contemplating something. /end ID
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alittlefanatic · 11 months
Note
hello! would it be alright to request something for a reader who really looks up to howdt as a sort of father figure?
idk man, i collect fictional parental figures like pokemon, welcome home happens to be my latest obsession, and YOU happen to be my favorite fan writer for said obsession, so i figured id ask- no pressure though! college is rough, and i want you to take care of yourself!
I'm going to cry qwq THANK YOU SO MUCH! That means the world to me that I'm your favorite! I never thought that I'd be someone's favorite writer awawawaw.
🐛 Howdy Father Figure Headcanons! 🐛
Child Version
🐛 Howdy LOVES to hold you and pick you up! You are just so tiny and small!
🐛 He would love to give you head pats and even ruffle your hair! (If you are ok with it of course)
🐛 Got a boo boo? He will be right there by your side like a frantic parent! "Are you hurt? I have cute little butterfly bandages! Let's get you cleaned up!"
🐛 He will hang all of your crayon drawings throughout his Bugdega! He wants to show off how creative and how proud he is of you!
🐛 If you knock over a stand at his Bugdega: "It's alright bug! Are you hurt? No? Ok good.. mistakes happen, don't be upset! What do we do when we make a mistake? We clean it up! See? It's better! Mistakes make us feel bad but they don't define us!"
Teenage Version
🐛 He would have you work in his store! "It helps build character and understand responsibility better!"
🐛 With that being said though, he also helps you define your boundaries!
🐛 "You don't want to work on Saturdays and Sundays? Do you need the day off to rest and work on things? That's ok! Thank you for telling me! Let's work things out if we need to~"
🐛 If you are wanting to sell anything, he will help you put up a little stand in his store! He's your biggest supporter and will personally send out your work to other neighbors to get them interested to buy!
🐛 This man has absolutely no idea how to drive a car (mainly because he cannot fit in many, nonetheless drive) but he will try and guide you nonetheless! That is until he gets one of the other neighbors to help. He would get you a little 'beetle' car purely for the name.
Adult Version
🐛 He would absolutely cry at the thought of you moving out but he would help you 'spread your wings' if you did want to move, or at least have a place of your own nearby!
🐛 "My little bug is all grown up! I can't believe how fast it flew by...I'm so proud of you! Know you can always come back to your ol' pops ok? I may be getting older but I still have all these arms to hug you!"
🐛 He would let you take over the Bugdega if you wanted it! He would feel like you would do a phenomenal job.
🐛 If you don't though, he will be your number one supporter and will send you baked goods in the morning for your work as a courtesy gift!
🐛 If you move away, he would send you letters every week updating you about what's going on in the neighborhood and how he misses you and loves you, and that he's proud of you every day!
🐛 He is a very sentimental man, keeping every letter you write to him, or anything you've ever given him. Don't you ever think it wasn't appreciated, because he has a little area in his room dedicated to things from you.
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I felt so bad that I haven't been able to write, I got a few more personal things to do then I'm completely free so expect more soon I promise! I'm so happy to finally be able to write more content for this fandom soon it brings me joy Be sure to get some water and a snack neighbor! Howdy would like you to take care of yourself 🐛
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five-rivers · 11 months
Text
Sleeping Mask
AO3
For @modordracena @artichokebean @ventisettestars
.
The thing about created objects is that they have intentions.  A book is meant to be read.  A bed is meant to be slept in.  A knife is made to cut.  A door is meant to open.  
This, of course, extends even to objects not created by mankind.  A bird's nest.  A fox's den.  These things have meaning, purpose.  
This extends also to ghosts.  Perhaps, with regard to ghosts, it is even accentuated.  Imbued with the unlife of ectoplasm, an object with intention might also find itself with a measure of will.  
Danny knew this both experimentally and instinctively.  It wasn't only dead meat and vegetable matter that rose in the Fenton household, and Danny wasn't half ghost for nothing.  
The mask would have been suspicious even if it didn't remind Danny strongly of one of his enemies.  This mask wasn't exactly the same as Nocturne's, the features were rounder, softer, more delicate and generic, but there was enough similarity there for Danny to be on guard.  The color, the shape, the texture, the dark arcs that lead from the brow to the tip of the nose, the horns that cupped the sides and served as a place to tie on the long, wide, black ribbons…  All of them called back to Nocturne.  
Things like this were made for a reason.  Somehow, Danny doubted that reason was to decorate a pawnshop window.  
He made sure the lid on the thermos was tightly pressed down before going in.  The last thing he needed was for the ghost he had chased here to cause problems on top of everything else.
The pawnshop smelled musty and old.  A thick layer of dust lay on most surfaces, interrupted here and there by finger marks, handprints, and oddly shaped patches that were either clear or at least had a little less dust.  The only fully living creature in the store was the bored-looking college-age man manning the desk.  
There weren’t even any flies, as far as Danny could tell.
Creepy.  
Danny approached the desk.  “Hi,” he said.  
“No, we don’t have public restrooms,” said the man in a practiced tone.  “We’re not discriminating, they don’t meet the city’s requirement for them to be public because they aren’t wheelchair accessible.  File your complaints with the city.”
“Uh,” said Danny, who hadn’t even heard of that ordinance.  “No.  I was wondering where the mask in the window came from?”
“Hm?  I dunno.  Storage?  We hold onto stuff for a while before we sell it.”
Danny kept his comments about how unhelpful that was to himself.  “How much is it?”
“Mm,” said the man.  “Fifty.”
Danny rummaged in his pockets.  “I’ve got thirty and a candy bar.”  He placed the offerings on the counter.  “It’s full size,” he added, temptingly.
“I can see that.  I’m not supposed to barter.”
“If it makes you feel better,” said Danny.  “It’s probably haunted.”
“Wow.  That’s probably the first time I’ve ever heard that.  About anything.  Ever.”
“No, really,” said Danny.  “My parents are Jack and Maddie Fenton.  Here, you see this?”  He flashed the thermos readout at the man, hoping that he’d never seen one before.  “It says that there’s something haunted here.”
The man looked less skeptical.  
“I can show you my school ID if you’d like,” offered Danny.  “But I could call them if you don’t believe me.”
“Ugh.  Fine, whatever.  I’m not paid enough to deal with any of that.”  The man snatched the money and candy off the counter.  "Knock yourself out."
Danny nodded and tried not to feel too bad about the disappearance of his allowance.  He had a nefarious plot to stop.  Or something.  He took the mask from the window display and turned back to the counter.  
"Do you need to scan it or–?"
"Does it look like it has a barcode?  Just get out."
Danny didn't need to be told twice.  Which left him standing in the middle of the street with a cursed (?) mask. 
What the heck was he going to do with this now?  He frowned at the sculpted face, which was looking less and less like Nocturne the longer he looked at it.  It was too… young, he decided.  Sleeping an innocent kind of sleep.  
He could always hide it somewhere at home, but he had a feeling that would come back to bite him.  He could… give it back to Nocturne, maybe.  There was a certain kind of fairy-tale logic there that appealed to him.  On the other hand, Nocturne was a massive jerk with a habit of magically roofie-ing people, so Danny was, understandably, leery of going anywhere near him.  
He tilted the mask from side to side.  He’d thought that the whole closed eyes look was an illusion, like how mascot eyes were actually see-through, but he was beginning to think they weren’t.  Which meant that this mask had to be decorative… or maybe a death mask.  An unsettlingly large number of cultures had those.  Flying through a community in the Zone where those death masks had literally become the ghosts’ faces was always creepy.  
If it wasn’t meant to be worn, why have the ties?  
He flipped it over and looked at the back.  The darkness inside twinkled with stars.  Then it pulsed and lunged towards Danny’s face.  
.
Being an Ancient was wonderful, in many respects.  Power, riches, luxury, admiration.  Worship, even, and a smooth road both ahead and behind.  Oh, there were wrinkles here and there.  Dictators to overthrow, tests to be given, havoc to wreak.  But wasn’t it better that way?  Wasn’t life sweeter with a little salt?
Not that Nocturne would know about life.  
There was, however, one particular difficulty Nocturne could do without.  One problem that all of the Ancients had to deal with separately.  A weakness.  Anything and anyone so powerful had to have one.  For the Ancients, these were objects, tools, that contained enough of themselves and their power that, in the wrong hands, could be used to either siphon away their power or even control them.  
For Clockwork, it was the Key that wound his internal clock, currently and unfortunately in the hands of the Observants.  For Sojourn, it was the Map, kept safe by the ever-steadfast denizens of the Far Frozen.  For Vortex, it was the Barometer, which he had been bound to against his will.  For Undergrowth, it was the elemental Seed from which he had sprouted.  For Pandora, it was the Box around which so much of her legend had been formed, guarded jealously in her Labyrinth.  Nephthys was the only one of the Ancients who seemed to be an exception, but Nocturne suspected that she merely hid hers better.  
Nocturne’s weakness was the Mask.  A portion of his identity was bound up in it, and if worn by someone who knew his name, it would allow the wearer to take on his identity.  Among other, even less desirable effects.  
He didn’t worry about it terribly much.  He’d hidden it away in the human world, far from where anyone knew about him.  And even if someone did find it, the Mask was twistier, slipperier than the Key.  It had its own fully-formed will, and that will was not one that would easily consent to being used.  A wearer would have his own problems with the Mask, sure enough.  
At least, that had been Nocturne’s attitude about the situation until this very second of this very minute of this very day.  
He had been disastrously wrong about the ‘no one will find it’ portion of his assumption.  He had, further, been incorrect in his unspoken assumption that the Mask would not be changed by its long absence from his presence.  
But the unpleasantness of both those realizations paled in comparison to that of finding himself sharing a body with not one but two other consciousnesses, both familiar to him.  
The Mask giggled and, metaphorically speaking, leaned back, taking its hands off the reins now that the damage was done.  Meanwhile the boy, Phantom, whimpered and whined and futilely tried to pull the Mask off.  
Nocturne’s body, or what passed for his body under the circumstances, dripped and slid from the reverse side of the mask, its starstruck and well-sculpted glory reduced to that of thick, viscous, glittery goo, and constrained to remain on the boy’s skin, bound to the physical body of the Mask as much as boy was.  
Nocturne snarled at the Mask, reminding it of its true master.  In reply, the Mask tied its black ribbon in an elaborate bow on the back of Phantom’s head.  Unnecessary, considering its powers, but an obvious message.  It wasn’t going anywhere unless Nocturne made it.  
Very well, then.  He would.  
Somehow.  
Of course, the first order of business was to deal with Phantom.  
Limited or not, Nocturne still had his powers, and he threw some Phantom’s way.  The child hadn’t even noticed that he was no longer alone in his own head, but his panic certainly increased when he started to fall asleep.  Thankfully, that only lasted a minute before Nocturne had him smothered in mostly-pleasant dreams.  
Although, how long that would last was anyone’s guess.  Phantom had proven capable of both lucid dreaming and blindly finding a way past Nocturne’s powers.  
The Mask, meanwhile, radiated obvious disappointment.  Nocturne would have told it to get over itself, but he didn’t currently have a mouth and Phantom’s was well blocked by the combined forces of the Mask and Nocturne’s current form.  The same went for the rest of Phantom’s facial features.  Nocturne was glad, then, that he did not need eyes to see.  
He picked Phantom up off the pavement - only stumbling a little bit when confronted with the unnatural solidity of the body - and looked around, mentally sneering at the overly mundane and shabby street.  Of all the things he found incomprehensible about Phantom, the fact that he chose to defend such a drab and uninteresting place was certainly the most perplexing.  
Now, to business.  To remove the Mask, Nocturne would need access to his tools.  His tools were in the Ghost Zone, in his lair.  Therefore, his first act must be to access the Ghost Zone.  
Walking through a human city like this…  Nocturne raised one of Phantom’s arms and observed the way the inky, starry blackness of his body clung to the pale limb and wrapped around it.  No.  Nocturne did not believe this was a state that would go unremarked on, even if he could somehow disguise the Mask.  
How annoying.  Of course, he could simply become invisible for the duration of his travel.  It wasn’t as if it was hard.  He followed his thoughts with actions, and quieted Phantom again as he stirred.  
Now.  Where did Phantom lair?  Nocturne had visited it before; traveling through the portal made it difficult to avoid Phantom’s home, such as it was.  But he didn’t know where it was from here.  
The Mask continued to snicker.  
Nocturne would simply have to canvass the city until he came across something he recognized.  
He took off, flying slowly.  He didn’t want to miss anything, and he was unclear regarding what speeds Phantom could comfortably survive.  As much as he disliked the current state of affairs, he didn’t want to be stuck puppeting a corpse.  That would be disgusting and terribly gauche.  
But the use of his powers seemed to agitate Phantom, who strained against the dream Nocturne had so generously constructed for him.  The drain on his limited form tired him quickly, and he landed on the roof of a nearby skyscraper.  He still could not see Phantom’s home.  Had the child been visiting another city?  Had the building been changed somehow?  
His thoughts were interrupted by a blue-white portal forming only a few feet away.  
Ah.  Excellent.  The Mask’s escapades must have troubled time itself.  He turned to greet his old frenemy and fellow Ancient, Clockwork.  
But the being that came through the portal wore an expression Nocturne had never seen on Clockwork’s face in all his years of knowing the other ghost.  Rage, pure, simple, righteous, and barely contained.  
“Release him,” ordered Clockwork, raising his staff threateningly.  
In that moment, Nocturne recalled two very important things.  One, Phantom, despite most ghosts agreeing that he was an insufferable, incorrigible brat, was a favorite of Clockwork, Ancient Master of Time.  Two, Nocturne had taken great pains to conceal the nature of his principle weakness from his fellow Ancients, especially Clockwork, who was already compromised by the loss of his.  
As such, Clockwork and Nocturne were seeing two very different situations.  
And Nocturne could not possibly explain what was really going on to Clockwork via mime.  He leapt off the building.
A blue-white portal opened underneath him, and, for a while, he knew no more.  
.
Danny woke to the sensation of someone running their fingers through his hair.  It wasn’t a feeling he usually liked, but for some reason it felt very good today, and he leaned into it.  It was a strange contrast to how awful the rest of his body felt, especially his mouth, which tasted like something had died in it.
“Ah, Daniel,” said Clockwork, “you’re awake.”
That… was not normal.  He tried to open his eyes and sit up, but found himself unable to do either thing.  His eyes were pressed closed and his arms were pinned down.  He whined, deep in his throat, unable to do much else.  
“Shh,” said Clockwork, “shh.”  To Danny’s vague embarrassment, the reassurance did help.  “Daniel, you’re safe.  I’m taking care of you.  Do you remember what happened?”
Danny shook his head minutely, not wanting to dislodge Clockwork’s hands.
“You’ve been possessed,” explained Clockwork.  “I am attempting to remove the problem.  The medium of possession was a mask.  Do you remember the mask?”
This time, Danny nodded.  
“Good,” said Clockwork.  His hands shifted position, and now he rubbed the skin behind Danny’s ears.    “That’s good.  I know this must be stressful for you.  At the moment, I have you restrained because the beings possessing you have been trying to escape.”
Danny shuddered.  Beings?  Trying to escape?  He didn’t want to think about what these beings might want with him and his body.  Thank goodness Clockwork had found him.  
“But it’s alright,” continued Clockwork.  “I believe the measures I have taken will prevent them from exercising control over you, for the time being.  Unfortunately, the mask…”  He trailed off, running his finger around the rim of what had to be the mask.  Danny twitched at the odd sensation.  
“We may need to let them retake control to fully banish them, however,” warned Clockwork.  “But, for now, I thought a rest would be more beneficial.  Would you agree?”
Danny nodded again.  For all that he had been asleep, a break sounded like a good idea.  Especially if moving forward meant letting someone else control his body.
“Very good,” said Clockwork, hands returning to the top of Danny’s head.  
Somehow, it felt even better this time, and his core purred, low, shaky, and not quite catlike.  It was a recent development, his core doing that, and this was the first time it didn’t startle him.  
Overhead, Clockwork chuckled.  “Just relax, Daniel,” he said.  
Daniel did.  
.
Clockwork, Nocturne realized, didn’t just have some loose affection for Phantom.  He adored him.  Perhaps even loved him.  Certainly, he was possessive over him, using Phantom’s indisposition as a bonding opportunity, encouraging and engendering a helpless trust.  
Nocturne could respect that, if grudgingly.
Slowly, Phantom sank back into sleep.  Of course he did.  Immobile, eyes closed, relaxed… It would be more surprising if he didn’t.  
Nocturne’s control was abruptly switched with Phantom’s.  
“If you harm him,” said Clockwork, pleasantly.  “I will destroy you.”
Nocturne had no good way to respond, so he didn’t.  
“I will give you a writing utensil.  You will use it to tell me exactly how to remove Daniel from your influences.  Nod if you understand.”
Nocturne, not seeing what else to do, nodded.  
“Good.”  Clockwork freed one of Phantom’s limbs and put a pencil into it.  “Write.”
Let me return to my lair and I shall remove Phantom myself.
“Unacceptable.”  
Rarely had Nocturne seen Clockwork so blunt.  However.
I see no reason to cooperate with you, then.  Eventually, you must release me, for the sake of the boy if nothing else.  
A nasty, thin smile raised the corners of Clockwork’s mouth.  “Is that so?  Will you still feel that way when I tell you that I can imprison both of you within Daniel’s psyche indefinitely?  Perhaps I would not be able to remove you, but you would have no control.  Daniel would not be pleased with that scenario, but he would adapt.  I myself would not be opposed to Daniel residing in my lair on a semi-permanent basis.  So.  Think carefully.”
If Nocturne had a face at the moment, he would have scowled.  
Very well, he wrote, this is what you will need to do.
.
Danny woke up slowly, his eyes fluttering open but not really registering what they were seeing for several minutes.  Then he realized he was seeing and sat up.  Tried to sit up.  He was being held quite firmly in Clockwork’s arms.  
Clockwork smiled down at him.  “How are you feeling?” Clockwork asked.  
“Better,” croaked Danny.  “You saved me.  I thought you couldn’t do that.”
“Not usually,” said Clockwork.  “But when another Ancient has interfered, I have slightly more wherewithal to act.”  He lifted Danny’s chin with his fingers and tilted his head from side to side.  “I was afraid of that.”
“Afraid of what?”
“That particular variety of control occasionally leaves traces,” said Clockwork.  “Think of it as being somewhat similar to exposure to radiation.  Even when the source of it is gone, the effects linger.”
“What did it change?” asked Danny.  
Clockwork smiled and released Danny’s chin.  “Nothing you need to worry about terribly much.  You may have a bit of glitter in your skin from now on.”
Danny made a face.  “Being possessed by… Nocturne?”
“It was Nocturne, yes.”
“It gave me the glitter plague?”  Danny started rubbing at his face.  
“Hardly a plague,” said Clockwork.  His smile fell away.  “You will let me know if you feel any internal changes, won’t you?”
“Is that something I have to worry about?” asked Danny.
“Hm,” said Clockwork, putting the tips of his fingers on Danny’s chest, right over his core.  It started to purr.  Loudly.  “Perhaps.”
“That doesn’t count.  Does it?”
“Not particularly,” said Clockwork, wrapping his arms around Danny and forcing him to lie back down.  
“I should probably go home… It was getting towards the end of the day.”
“I’ll make sure you get home on time, whenever you want to go.”
Danny sighed.  “Okay,” he said, snuggling closer.  
“You’ll have sweet dreams from now on.”
“Huh?”
“Consider it rent from your erstwhile roommates.”  
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fuck-customers · 4 months
Note
I had the absolute FUNNIEST customer interaction my entire career tonight (9/3)
The date is relevant!
So, a guy comes up trying to buy beer. He opens up with a strong: "You are the most annoying dumbfuck that works here." First of all, funniest comment I've ever heard working here. And I've had some funny weirdos come in, like the lady who was convinced I work for Satan himself because I didn't "talk enough".
Anyway so I say to him, literally, "why are you here then." No response. He just stares at me scowling. So I scan his beer and ask for the id and he was born in 2003, in August. He's 20. I look at him and I'm like, I tell him that. He swears that everyone else rings him up and every other store takes his ID. He swears he will call the cops and make them come over here to tell me that it's okay to sell him beer. First of all, no cop would ever waste their time with that shit and second of all, I'm allowed to refuse service to anyone I want to, and third of all, HES NOT OLD ENOUGH!!!
He INSISTS I scan his ID and when I do, it says it's expired. So I look and it expired the beginning of August. I tell him this and hand the thing back over to him because like, seriously, you're not old enough and your ID isn't valid either you're literally not getting the fucking beer. He's shaking and there's TEARS in his eyes and he storms out ranting incoherently.
Dude, the way I was laughing for a long time after that. That's in the hall of fame for me.
Posted by admin Rodney.
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yua-nism · 5 months
Note
I saw your tags and I’m now very intrigued like what do you mean yuhan has the SHORTEST TRAGIC BACKSTORY?!?! JUST WHAT IS GOING ON?? like granted I should have known a game about devil cat butlers would have some angst and tragic backstories but god damn 😭😭
there was a miscalculation on my part and yuuhan's is in fact, not the one with the shortest backstory! however that's only because the others have yet to have their backstories be revealed. sorry for the late answer btw, exams have made me pretty tired.
ok so ill briefly explain a bit. this ties in to the requirement to become a devil butler that is, having felt so much despair that one feels like dying. normal people will be swallowed up by the devils they contract with. the despair essentially acts like chains for the devil. so to talk about their pasts in the Briefest Way Possible (lie):
miyaji has beef with lucas on the surface but really it's because he still can't get over the fact that lucas decided to save him from the verge of death instead of someone else he thought was more capable than him while lucas simply chose to save miyaji because he had higher chances of living.
lucas was basically a child prodigy/genius. since young, he's always loved reading books, and even read thick books that even adults struggled to understand. even though he was lonely and had no one to talk to, he still endured it, skipped grades, and became a doctor at the age of 10+. at first he was looked down on for being young, but an older doctor stood up for him. eventually he became the leader of the doctors, but due to his lack of social skills, he struggled to communicate well, which resulted in the doctors hating him. in the end, all the doctors except lucas quit their job. and the group collapsed. (tbf id quit too... imagine being said you didn't work as hard as him and don't have as much brainpower compared to him as well)
ammon has only had his mom since birth and lived with her, selling flowers for a living. ammon would always make sure the flowers would be sold out at the end of the day for his sickly mother, but if he doesn't manage to sell all of them it's heavily implied his mom whips him like he does to himself even now. they were like super poor but ammon still loved his mom because he only had her
berrien has like this super mysterious past but rn it's starting to unravel in chapter 4. he's an orphan and got adopted into a church backed by the grovanas or whatever nobel family to nurture warriors who could fight angels, but surprisingly the church is actually full of love and was ran by someone who fighted angels named Goetia. berrien also met his soon-to-be older brother figure named Beren/Belen. btw all of the kids go by the last name Cliane because goetia wants everyone to become true family.
when berrien was 26 (Beren 29), goetia died from a chronic disease and Beren had to take on goetia's responsibilities. berrien became the one running the church, however shit happened, Beren got demonized, and berrien used his powers to keep Beren alive after forming a contract with his current devil. he's still residing in berrien's basement as of current, but in a coma. berrien still thinks he himself has no rights to be a butler and really does not believe that he's the one keeping the damn thing running
also the church got destroyed like 2400 years ago and yes berrien is 2000+ years old
haures was born into some wack ass family, his dad ran away with some other woman and his mom projected her rage and stuff like that onto haures, and his newborn younger sister Tricia. haures is 10 years older than Tricia. when he was that age, he ran away from home with Tricia (literal baby) because he no longer trusted his mom to take good care of them. after that, when haures was 18, he trained hard to become a soldier under the grovanas nobles so he could afford to let Tricia get treatment for her worsening vision. one heartbreaking scene was when haures showed off his red uniform to Tricia and she said the blue uniform looked good on him... but 5 years later, haures managed to get Tricia's eyes healed!!! surely nothing bad could happen!!!!
sike. haures caught one of the grovanas nobles illegally trafficking humans with some dealer, and arrested him. however that led to the seller getting revenge, and he decided to capture tricia. he stabbed her and threw her into the woods. when haures found her, she only managed to call out to haures before she died after a few breaths. haures was really really really devastated. he sought revenge on the noble, and while the noble didn't die, he was jailed 5 years for harming the noble (not death sentence because he was determined mentally unstable after losing Tricia.). after he got out of jail, he found the noble again and wanted to kill him, but he was reminded of how Tricia admired him for protecting the people and helping those in need, which stopped him. after that, he became a devil butler because of his proficient fighting skills.
lamli was forced to work at a circus by his mom at the age of 10, while starting up with simple duties, he decided to train to become a circus troupe performer so he'd earn more money for his complaining mother. its heavily implied he's abandoned by her and becomes a devil butler because of his nimble body. btw his mom said she never wanted to have lamli right in front of him. jesus.
fennesz was born into a wealthy happy family, and had an older sister. however his war general father lost a war against nobles, and the economy went into shambles. his mom remarried but even though their stepdad was nice, fennesz and his sister ended up strays on the street due to some reasons i forgot of. fennesz would get bullied by kids on the street because of his father's loss in the war, but his sister would always protect him, and they relied on each other for survival. she's very smart, as shown in the story. she also loves history, as she said, it can help people learn from the past. its heavily implied she is dead.
ok flure! flure grew up with his older sister and mother who both did ballet (can one of you have an actual dad for once?), and he also followed in their footsteps. however when he was a child he was bullied for liking stereotypical girly things, like playing with his sister's dolls, doing ballet and having long hair. even though he was laughed at for doing it, he still underwent strict training guided bg his sister and mother. he never found the courage to tell his sister or mom even though his sister could tell something was wrong (heard him crying at night). he still thinks he should be more courageous to this day and thinks he's pathetic. we don't know what happened to his family but they probably died.
i wanted to talk about boschi but i realized idk much about him apart from the fact that he only had his grandmother (who's actually a great caretaker for once!) and he was bullied for being a bookworm/nerd at school and had no friends. though he did actually beat those bullies up later for mocking his grandma when she wanted to take him back home. she didn't want boschi to fight but she said herself she was actually rooting for him when he was fighting LMAOOO love her for that
lono. ok so lono was really poor and had no parents, and he acted as the older brother for the younger kids living on the streets with him. he'd work as someone who'd clean up rubble from battling angels, which was a job that had unstable income since no one knows when angels are gonna appear. they were family basically. lono would rather starve than let his siblings eat less, and his love of cooking originated here because he loved seeing them happy from his cooking. we don't know what happened to them, but they're probably dead
nac was born into a rich family, and has a father, not sure if he has a mother, never mentioned at least. apparently the stein family was great at sales or trading or smth??? they're just some very rich and well-known name. however on his 12th birthday, his butler led him to the forest near the stein mansion, and revealed himself to be someone the stein family harmed. just as he was about to kill lil nac in shock, nac retaliated in defense. and when he realized, he already stabbed the man at his vital point. his dad appears out of nowhere and reveals that he knew this all along, and that the stein family is actually a long line of assassins with sales as their front personas. nac was trained to kill since then, and thought he'd never feel positive emotions again before he became a devil butler. he also has scars all around his body, probably from the assassin work he did.
lato and his non-blood related brother, Aleks I think? were kidnapped by people who wanted to train people to become angel fighters. however unlike berrien, this time it's just pure cruelness and literal torture. they were 8 when this experiment started. not only that, all the children were sold by their caretakers to this place, including lato and aleks' "mother", the head of their orphanage, who they deeply loved and believed in. when lato finally found a way to escape, almost half the children were dead.
and when he told the others, they told lato that they already gave up on escaping, including aleks. from, i suppose, all the suppressed anger and trauma, he burned the experiment facility down, leaving the other kids to die because he hallucinated that they wanted them to be burned so they could be free. after that, lato returned to the orphanage even though he knew the "mother" sold him in the first place. guess what the mother did! that's right she ran back into the orphanage when she saw him, locked the fucking door and told him to get the fuck away from her. and lato burned the orphanage down.
now onto the new butler trio!
teddy is the one with the most details in his backstory so far. when he was young, he Had a twin brother, and teddy was a far cry from who he is now. he was negative and gloomy compared to his brother, who was positive and talented, and people always favored teddy's brother more. but one day, his brother died protecting him from an angel, but since they were so alike people didn't know whether the one that died was teddy or his brother. and after grieving his brother, teddy decided to become him, and used his brother's name to live on as him so people wouldn't be sad, because "teddy" was the one that died. and that led to teddy forming his personality today. teddy is his actual name though, he started using it after he became a knight. he became a knight because he wanted to protect people from angels.
but during an attack by an intelligent angel, namely seraphim, one of the angels that appeared at the end of chapter 1 and also the major antagonist of the story, teddy's entire unit got killed. at the start of chapter 2.5, he recuperated in a hospital, however he kept terrible nightmares (reliving the massacre, and hearing the voices of his comrades asking him why he abandoned them and why he got to survive) and so didn't sleep at all. he eventually snuck out of the hospital to visit their graves, and then started wondering what the point of him still being alive is. he almost threw himself off a cliff before haures and aruji reached him.
hanamaru. ten years before the story, hanamaru was fleeing from something- he walked all the way from the east to the central, and collapsed in a forest. a nun found him and took him back to a church that doubled as an orphanage. however the nun soon fell ill and died, so hanamaru began taking care of the kids in the church after he was saved by her.
but 5 years later, the church was attacked by angels. he was away from the church when the attack happened, and when he came back, all he saw were angels flying away from the ruined church. only 4 kids survived. hanamaru had a breakdown, and kept kneeling and pressing his head against the ground, saying things like "i couldn't protect them", "i swear ill keep them safe next time", implying this is not the first time something like this has happened. he swore vengeance against the angels that day, that he would never forgive them, and himself. so berrien suspects that the 4 kids that survived were the people that kept hanamaru around. who knows what could've happened if they passed as well...
lastly (finally), yuuhan. at the age of 9, he trained to become a soldier of the sardeis family so he could protect his hometown, and made it after 3 years. he quickly rose up in the ranks, being a prodigy. in the main story, he started doubting his loyalty to the family after they attempted an assassination on the devil butlers. and he betrayed the sardeis family and fell into their trap when investigating forbidden records. he got thrown into jail by the head, and the head decided for his punishment, yuuhan's whole village and everyone he knew there will be burned and killed. he could only despair in jail. in the story, after his prison guard left after serving him food, yuuhan started crying. he called out to his father, his mother, everyone from his hometown, apologizing again and again, believing that it's his fault that they died.
after that, the head, fubuki, paid him a visit. fubuki beat yuuhan up, pushed him to the verge of death, but not grave enough injuries to die. yuuhan asked fubuki to kill him, but fubuki refused. he even says he'll force feed yuuhan till the day of his death execution if necessary. however, yuuhan was rescued by the butlers during his execution. (it took place in a forest with tigers. basically the death penalty is getting eaten by tigers) he became a devil butler after that.
holy shit. also im not typing Bastien's since you can read his backstory from the tls available here.
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Text
Spam Call - A Transformers Short
In which Optimus learns about spam callers and decides to try and enter into the chaos ring the humans and Wheeljack have going to answer them. (The characterization may not be completely accurate, but I wanted Chaos Prime himself to activate for everyone to see.)
Jack groaned as his phone started ringing, hoping it wasn't his mother. He took it out, only to see the unknown caller ID on his screen. He snorted, smirking down at it for a moment.
"Miko, you called dibs on this one. Here." Jack tossed his phone to her and they cackled before answering on speaker phone.
"Helllooooo you have reached alien tech support, how can I assist you in deciphering human technology? Is it a language problem? Is the screen too small? Do you need to order a new keyboard?" Miko chirped into the phone.
Optimus watched with veiled curiosity as Miko paused, listening to the phone. The telemarketer sputtered for a bit before managing to speak.
"I'm sorry, I must have the wrong number."
"Oh, that's alright. You will have an agent with you soon to erase your memories of this number since you don't need it! Remain stationary, if at all possible. Thank you, human!" Miko giggled before hanging up. They tossed Jack's phone back.
"What was that?" Optimus found himself asking.
"We have this annoying thing that happens...uh...spam callers or telemarketers. Their thing is either staying silent, being AI, or wanting to sell things. Miko got one that wasn't a dud just now, on Jack's phone. Our challenge is usually to just spout the most unhinged crap at them to get them to leave us alone." Raf explained, a slight smile quirking into place.
"We usually call dibs when we're together." Miko added, her grin holding so much mischief. "Wheeljack has answered one of my spam calls once to mess with them."
"Can confirm. I did a spiel in Kalius at them and then waited. They hung up pretty quickly." Wheeljack chuckled. "Might try Vossian next if I get the chance. Maybe Prax."
"Oh my Primus, Wheeljack! Why did you do that? We're trying to stay secret from as many humans as possible!" Ratchet scolded.
"What? Sometimes Miko answers in Japanese! I had to see how fun it would be with some of our languages." Wheeljack defended himself. "Plus, Tolkien was crazy enough to invent a new language so there."
---
The first spam call that Optimus was allowed to answer was on Agent Fowler's phone. It was a late night, Fowler was napping on the couch as Optimus was working on the last bits of paperwork and grumbled as he opened and held the phone up.
Optimus calmly spoke in the language only Primus' chosen could easily speak. It sounded a bit like music to the ear, except too mechanical. He calmly asked if the spam caller was looking for religious freedom through the Highest.
The telemarketer tried to ask a few questions, but Optimus only spoke in that Primacian language in reply.
Then the caller hung up.
Optimus grinned a little to himself and straightened up as Fowler resumed his nap on the couch, going back to doing paperwork.
Ratchet looked as though he'd gotten whiplash from that and Optimus shrugged a bit at him. Ratchet decided to go lay down for a while after.
---
The next time Optimus took a spam call was when everyone was present.
The children watched with interest as Optimus delicately pressed the button with a thin stylus as he balanced the phone in his massive hand before clearing his throat and going on a wild tangent in the Kaos language.
The language of Kaon was one that he wasn't quite as fluent in, but he got the point across that he was very "irritated" and very "willing to hunt people down". When in reality he was just angrily reciting a recipe for chocolate chip cookies.
Arcee's eyes widened and she started to laugh a little. Bee looked almost bewildered as Optimus shouted.
The caller had hung up midway through and Optimus started to laugh a bit as he realized.
"What was that?" Raf asked with awe.
"The recipe for chocolate chip cookies that Optimus had translated over to use for this. He planned this, kids. I need you to know that." Arcee cackled. "He used the language of Kaon just to yell the recipe for chocolate chip cookies at a spam caller."
Miko started to laugh in disbelief.
"The Prime has a sense of humor, wowww." Wheeljack commented.
"Welllll...let's say I didn't quite grow out of mischief completely." Optimus—or was that Orion just now saying hello?—hummed with ease, passing the phone back to Raf.
Miko giggled a bit and started to think about what pranks they could talk Optimus into. Jack and Raf looked as though they were concerned about her plotting.
"So I wasn't hallucinating from lack of recharge." Ratchet commented grumpily. "Good to know."
Arcee seemed to sober up for a moment, if only to ask the question that everyone had now.
"What do you mean?"
Ratchet sighed heavily, glaring over his shoulder at Optimus, who gestured innocently for Ratchet to speak. The medic shook his head with slight annoyance.
"Optimus answered a spam call last night from Fowler's phone. He used the Prima language—which I don't even understand—to spook a caller into hanging up." Ratchet explained. Optimus grinned.
"I did." Optimus agreed before intentionally starting to speak it again. "It's a fun language to use so that no one can understand what I mean by anything."
Ratchet looked more annoyed. "Shut the actual pit up."
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grumelot123 · 2 months
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"I'm trying so hard to hate you." Good Omens, Crowley x Aziraphale (1/?)
Tw: Angst, foul language
(Angst at first then a happy ending) I am so sorry that this is so long.
This is all set, let's say 3 months after Season 2 Episode 6
Starting out with AZIRAPHALES POV!
Today has been one of the...longest days I've had being Archangel. and that's saying something seeing battling with not picking up that phone to call Crowley is an everyday battle that occurs.
Maybe today is the day I lost that battle.
Even if I wanted to call him, what would I say?
"Hey know I rejected you but want to forget all of that and just come to Heaven with me?" I'm pathetic. Can't even keep my own friend. Not even my friend but my best friend. Someone who I even could have called my boyfriend. Mine. But I threw it all away. To protect him. But he'll never know that. He wouldn't even give me the time of day. Which I'd understand, if I were him I'd do the same.
I just wish there was some way to fix this, to fix us.
CROWLEY POV AHAHAH WAHOO
It's been 3 months since...the thing.
He hasn't even called. Even if he doesn't like me, wouldn't he still want to be friends? Maybe he never wanted to be friends in the first place. He did kind of get stuck with me all these years.
I want to call him. But what would I tell him?
"Hey even though I told you I wanted it to be us and you come with me somewhere to get away from everything, and even though you rejected me, still wanna be best friends?" Maybe he's moved on. Actually made more friends up there. Forgot about me. I miss him so much it hurts.
I wish we could go back to normal. Our normal. Us.
AZIRAPHALE POV
Paperwork is officially the most boring thing to do anywhere and everywhere. I'd rather be fixing Armageddon all over again.
*alarm goes off throughout Heaven*
"What's going on?" I stand up and run out to see what's going on.
"Aziraphale! Something's going on down on Earth with the Antichrist child! He's becoming evil again! You stopped Armageddon once before? Can you go try to fix it again?"
I was J-O-K-I-N-G about the Armageddon thing.
"W-well I mean I'll have to try won't I? How much time do we have till, you know?" I know I'm stuttering and sounding breathless but first of all..the worlds gonna end. Second of all there is a chance that this could be an excuse for me to see Crowley.
"I'd say 5-7 days? We aren't sure what's going on, or what's got him mad this time. But when you go down it would probably be good you had some company with you."
"Thanks for the advice but I think I have someone in mind that'll be of some assistance" I practically ran out because 1. Saving the world. and 2. Crowley is going to need a lot of convincing.
Hope he still has my number?
CROWLEY POV!
I check up on Angels bookshop twice a week, for a few reasons. Hope, that he will return to me and understand. Worry, that something will go wrong and Muriel will sell a book. And Anger, that he left me. He left us.
Unfortunately for me I would go to hell and back for him literally and physically. Because I love him. I love Aziraphale.
*ring CALLER ID Angel*
"Speak of the fucking Angel?"
Uh do I answer? I mean I shouldn't but, I have to. for him. I'd do anything. Even if this is false hope.
"What do ya want? sUprEme aRchAngEl AziRaph-"
He cut me off. "Yea yea I know really funny and all but there's a problem. Like world ending Armageddon 2 problem? I need your help, where are you?" He sounded frantic and almost rushed. He's not lying about something being wrong but why is he asking me for help? Just because he knows I will?
"Oh. So that's the only reason you called me? Just because there's a problem and you know I'll do it? So that's all I am to you? A last resort?" There was a hint of hurt in my voice. Which is good because I was. I knew we ended on bad terms, but i didn't think..
I was interrupted out of my thoughts with an opening of a bookshop door, along with something almost like a strangled sob. It was Aziraphale.
"No..no Crowley I didn't call you because I knew you'd do it. I called you because you are the only one who can do it. Well do it with me. I can't work with anyone the way I work with you. You will never be a last resort to me my dear because you are the first person I'd go to."
He steps closer. My glasses start to fog up and I realize that I must have started crying as soon as he even called.
"You are my first choice Crowley. I've made wrong ones with you the last time we spoke. And even though these last 3 months have felt like indeed literal hell. It was worth it. Not because I didn't want to see you, but because I did it to protect you" He was still crying but he had mostly calmed down, his voiced had pretty much steadied. But as I thought more of myself I was sobbing, uncontrollably.
Protect me? That was the only problem? He was worried about my safety?
"S-so you like me?" Shit. shit. I just fucked it up, of course he doesn't. Why would he? I'm just a fallen ang-
"Crowley you're overthinking. I can tell by the look on your face. Nothing but the worst is going through your head. Look at me" He was worried. But he still hadn't answered my question. But still I looked at him. Looked into those beautiful eyes of his that I've tried so hard to forget. I swear I got lost for a moment.
He reached his hand up. At first it was to wipe off a tear. Then he went for the glasses. At first, as reflex I grabbed his wrist. But softly let go, waiting for his next move. He took my glasses off and slowly set them in his pocket, and he just looked at me, with a crooked like smile.
"How are you Crowley?" It was a simple question really, he said it so soft, so calm it was almost like a whisper.
"W-well you left me Aziraphale. If I'm going to be honest with you I am not okay. I'm tired, sad, and nervous. Tired, of restless nights not once getting a call from you. I'm sad because you have not reached out to me even once. But most of all I'm nervous, nervous that you've found someone else and will soon want nothing to do with me." At this point I was out of breath, I haven't talked to Aziraphale in months but here I was opening up.
"There's another feeling you have. Don't ask me how I know but I can tell, what else are you feeling my dear?"
And that's what did it.
"Hatred. I love you so much Aziraphale it hurts. Hurts so much I hate it. You leave my life so I try to forget you, tell myself it'll be a memory in the past but then you show up, months later, because everything and anything I've ever wanted and it just hurts. I'm trying so hard to hate you. But GOD AZIRAPHALE I just can't!" This time I let my anger be heard and even slammed my hands down on the table at the end for good measure. At first Aziraphale was shocked. But after not even five seconds...
He laughed at me. I had just poured my heart out to this Angel. My Angel. And he had the audacity to laugh at me?!? But what he said next..could have thrown my hatred away never to be felt again.
"Did you know that my favorite color is yellow Crowley?"
What the actual fuck?
"Well, yeah but why the fuck is this relevant to what I was saying?"
I was genuinely confused.
Silence.
Then he came over to me, lips almost touching, and he whispered.
"What color are your eyes Crowley?"
My eyes? Ther- Oh my, I'm a dumb ass hoe.
"Y-yellow?" I said breathing heavily, with Aziraphale being near me it was intoxicating. In the best way possible.
"Yea they are. Do you want to know why, even if you never stop trying to hate me, the reason I could never hate you?" He replied getting a little bit closer..I could feel the heat between our lips, just there..waiting for one of us to close the space.
"Why, no, what is the reason you could never hate me Aziraphale?"
I asked this question with the same amount of uncertainty as there was determination.
"That is because, my dear Crowley. I love you so much, that no matter what you did, said, or felt. I could never hate you."
Thats when he finally closed the gap between our lips.
At first, it was only a small kiss, to test the waters, but as soon as he figured out where I stood in this, he went in for as much as he could, refusing to come up for air. I don't think I have ever been kissed like this before, it was soft but comforting. But also at the same time hard and filled with love. It was like we were 2 teenagers that had no idea when to stop.
After what felt like hours, I was the first one to let up for air.
"We need to talk about this" As soon as I pulled away I already missed his warmth and wanted more but, we may have bigger problems.
"Yes of course, we have all but 5-7 days to talk all we want, but how about we talk just at the hotel?"
Hotel? Since when?
Armageddon. I was so caught with- nevermind that. We have a whole god damn world to save then we can worry about ourselves.
"Yes, yea the hotel. I'll get the car"
There was no way I was letting Aziraphale do this alone is there? Nah.
"Wait you're actually coming with?" Azi replied sounding genuinely confused with the whole situation.
"Well of course. You'd have to kill me to get away from you darling"
We may only have 5-7 days to live. Trying to stop Armageddon is not at all what I'd like to be doing. But if I'm spending it with my Angel?
Last days well spent.
PART 1 IS FINISHED!
Thoughts?
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roachemoji · 7 months
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Stranger Things Season 4 Thread!!!!!!!! 04 01
theres NO realistic way in hell some kid was chucking that shit every damn day and making it !!!!!!!!! bro would have smacked someone in the fucking FACE by now!!!!!
starting off with a freak ass routine gotcha gotcha gotcha !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
aGAGGLE OF BALD CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
its been. 4 minutes and im already so uncomfortable with how they hold the kids hands to lead them around lmao
Brenner cant draw for SHIT girl if that was me id tell him i dont know bc its fucking UGLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH. HES RIGHT.
GOD hes. i hate hate hate hate hate hate his fucking face it makes me so uncomfortable.
GIRL HELLO !!!!!!!!! DAMN LMAO
EXPLODES THEM EXPLODESTHEM EXPLODES THEM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the TONE shift from the last season is really getting to me girlie like that last one didnt feel REAL and this one feels VERY present. even with the rainbow visuals in the room?
OUGHH GOD HES SO UNCOMFORTABLE.
HIS EXPRESSIONS ARE SO ???? HIS GASP SEEING A DEAD KID??? IDK HOW TO PLACE IT.
damn girlie what did you do !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EL'S !!!! FUCKING AUTISM ACCENT? LOVE HER. LOVE HER.
ARGYLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GODIM SO EXCITED TO MEET HIM !!!!!
I CANT PUT INTO WORDSS HOW MUCH I LOVE THE TONE SHIFT AND THEM BEING OLDER AND EL'S LETTER TO MIKE BEING !!!! SO.
THEYRE ALL SO BIG NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
KAREN LOOKS SO CUTE AND TED? KILLS HIM.
SUZZIIEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND DUSTIN <3333333 THEYRE SO CUTE
STEVE AND ROBIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PEOOPLE WHO LIKE BOOBIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK ING STE VE. BI MEN AND THEIR LESBIAN BESTIES ???
MAX IS NOT BEATING THE TRANS MASC ALLEGATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT NOW NOT EVER NOT IN MY HEART
UCAS LOOK SO FU CKING GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!! HIS HAIIRRRRRR
WHO TH FUCK IS THIS ARCHIE LOOKING WHITE MAN ?????
THEIR PANTS ARE TEAR AWAY ? I GUESS THOSE HAVE A FUCKING USE .... WHEN IT COMES TO SPORTS ? BUT STILL KAJDSHKJHADS IM FU CKING KAJHDKJAHSD. THEY DIDNT DIE SO WE WOULD LOOSE AT BASKETBALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHUT UP
Lucas is making a good ass point butalso im so sorry he doesnt wanna be a loser nerd freak anymore :pensive:
the fu cCKING RUSSIANS LAKJSHDAKSJHDKJ HDAMN GIRLIE HOLY SHIT BE CAREFUL ? EW. EW? WHOSE THE LITTLE WHITE WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OH ELL BABY YOU GOT THIS. YOU GOT THIS!!!! GO AUTISM GIRLIE!!!!!!!!
IM GONNA KILL. EVERYONE IN THAT ROOM. !! PLEASE LET HER JUST. OUGHHGH GODD. WILL TEARING UP TOO. FUCKING EXPLODE HER!!!!!! EXPLODE THAT FUCKING. BITCH HOLY SHIT ?
WILL IS.
MAX ?? QUEER WHATS WITH THE... GREEN SCRUNCHIE?? THAT THE OTHER GIRLIES HAVE
LUCAS approaching Max who... is the only one who is like ? LOUDLY suffering with shit after watching Billy die and be traumatized vs the core group not NOT being traumatized but handling it VERY DIFFERENTLY ? like they always "bounced back" and Max isn't
o h JESUS WHAT THE FUCK HELLO ?????? bro aksjdhkasjhakhkKJHDFKJSDHFKJH DAMN I WOULD NOT HAVE LEFT THAT BATHROOM HELLO WHAT THE FUCK
Eddie doesnt SOUND like i thought he would ???? AKDHAKDJH i forgot about the hanky code my mans wearing
dustiinnNNSFNKJKSJH DUSTIN. AKJSDH!!!!!! MIKE'S FACE.
Eddie's vibe is. AKHASKDJASHD like my ex boyfriend from highschool
MURRYYYY !!! MISSED HIM. LOVE HIM. RIP ALEXEI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
she has nIPPLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ARGYLE AKSJHDKASJH!!!!!!!!!! MOPEY DICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NANCY LOOKS SO CUTE!!!
ARGYLE CALLING HIM A FUCKING GOOD BOY KJHSDKAHADSKJHADSKJH YELLING
im sorry literally N OON wants to play DnD you just have to find the gay people !!!!!!!!!!!!!! (40 years from now)
Out h ere being Mentally ill in da Woods as you do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
what gay ass drugs are we selling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh hes DRAMATIC fucking theater kid. that man's NOT STRAIGHT !!!! and also defenitely has ADHD. chewing on his fucking HAIR !!! stimming i see u !!
EL BABY GIRL IM SO SORRY I WAN T TO EXPLODE THE WORLD FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT TO KILL FOR HER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOY SHIT . MAKE THEM PISS THEIR PANTS GIRL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OO OoOOO H BABAKJSHD I FORGOT HER POW ERS ARENT ,,, WO RK ING,,, ABY IM,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, THIS IS FUCKING PAINFUL.
tHE focus not having been on Will the entire time except for a snippet here and there is REALLY NICE ACTUALLY likE!!! IDK BUT IT IS. TTHAT MANS FIGURING OUT HES QUEER TOO
MURRY JADKASLASKLJSADKJ !!!! MY MAN ABSOLUTEL LOSING HIS MIND
sTEVE IM AKSDJHS SORRY GIRLIE LMAOOOOOO fuc kinggGGGG TAMMMYYYYY AKSDJAKDHAKJSDHKAJSHD ROBINNN GIRLIEE IM SO FUCKING SORRRYY. JDKLKJDLKJFDSJLKDF I WA NNA FUCKING.
ERICA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BABY GIRL IS BACKKKK YEAHHHH FUCKING LOVE HER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND HER HAIIIRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CANT WAIT FOR HER TO DESTROY EDDIE
DESTROY HIM DESTROY HIM DESTROY HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the fucking mountain dew cansssss his DM set up is so good
I JUST LOVE HOW DND IS USED AS FORESHADOWING BABEY !!!
Dusstin and Erica working together like THIS IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! UGH. love u lady applejack <33333
FUCKING GET IT ERICA!!!! LUCAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASSSEEEEEEEEE
YYYEAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i thOUGHT he was tlking to like a lizard and not a guitar AKSJD
IS Chrissy just experiencing like a psychotic break ?? delusions??? I cant tell if its like. ACTUALLY happening to her or something to do with the UD ? Dissociative seizures????? DISSOCIATIVE SEIZURES AND THE UD ?????
FEEL LIKE ALL THE SPIDER VISUALS AND SHIT ARE IMPORTANT AND I JUST DONT KNOW HOW YET !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH IS THIS VECNA ? SIR !! YOURE. WET :/
BRO HELLO WHAT
KING WHAT DOES THAT M EAN
ASDASKJHD KASHDKASJH SORRY TO EDDIE WHO THOUGH YEAHHH A FRIEND :3c
GIRL WAHT THE FUCK EXORCIST SHIT HOLY HSHKJASJK LSHAJKHAD HE RE YEB ALLS!!!!!!!!! BROOOO AKSJDHKASHDKASHD
yeah so season 3 was. liike. different and now ? we're back at it!!!! we're back at it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALSRRIGH alright
ending with a half song again no lyrics inchresting
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