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orcelito · 11 months

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i've seen ppl talking about Meryl & how little we know about her family, but the geo-plant arc of trigun chapters 10-12 gives us some really useful pieces of info, i think

first, we see her thinking of herself as Cold Blooded, just like the dude that wanted Badwick to kill his own parents

[ID: Meryl stands with her gun drawn and a troubled expression on her face as she thinks to herself, "Exactly as you described him... the cold-blooded type..." In the next panel, she closes her eyes and wonders, "Am I really... any different?" End ID]

at the start of this arc, Milly wrote one of her massive letters to her family, while Meryl mentioned not knowing what she would write to hers. then we see Milly get PISSED at Badwick after she learns he threatened his parents at gunpoint, which leads to this page:

[ID: Meryl, held back by Milly, tells her, "Milly... I envy you... My father would have wanted me to get justifiably angry at a person who points a gun at his parents. That is an important thing." She flashes back to the moment in the chapter before where Milly is attempting to punch the son, Badwick. Milly calls in concern, "Ma'am?" Meryl continues, "But I... I just stood there and took it all in without even budging. I am such a cold person. I chose this path of blood and tears without thinking about the rest of my life. All I can see is what is right in front of me." The page shows the face of the father, dressed in basic battle gear, who is watching silently. Now in tears, Meryl laments, "Why could I not see... that when I closed myself off to him, something was wrong? I..." In the last panel, Milly stares down at Meryl in surprise as Meryl slaps her own cheeks and exclaims, "No... Nevermind!" End ID]

this entire situation is obviously striking something in Meryl's heart. some kind of insecurity she has about her distant relationship with her own parents. she shakes herself out of it, determined to not fall into a funk, and then jumps into defense of the land.

after the battle's over & the father's fallen to his ass, we see these pages:

[ID: In the first page, the father, off screen, tells Meryl and Milly, "There are no words to express how thankful I am for your help." Meryl replies with a smile, "Ah. There's no need." The father goes on to tell her, "Ms. Meryl... I know it was rude of me, but I overheard your conversation earlier. Having raised that rebellious son, I don't know if I have the right thing to say, but... All people are different, but the bonds between parents and children are inseparable. It is a great burden, but also the most precious thing in the world..." In the second page, the father concludes, "... Choose your own path, and walk it with confidence. All of life... is connected. You must live your own life, and your parents will love through you." As he speaks, we see Meryl listening to him with a surprised expression. End ID]

this entire arc feels like a metaphor for Meryl's own situation. after these pages, we see Badwick turning in the deed, then finding out that his parents were entrusting the property to him after all. he's the problem son, someone who separated himself from his parents due to his disagreements with them (likely stemming from his dead younger brother). yet at the end of the day, his parents still love him and entrusted their life's work to him.

Meryl sees all this go down, hears these words, and it touches something in her heart. so we see her go from talking about writing to her family like this in chapter 10:

[ID: A single panel of Meryl with her eyes closed and a peaceful expression on her face. She tells Milly, "That would be the normal thing to do... especially when I've been away from home for so long. But I don't know what to write beyond 'it's dry'..." End ID]

to this bit at the end of chapter 12:

[ID: Meryl approaches a mailbox with luggage in hand. She slips a letter inside, then sighs with a smile. Milly yells, "Maa'aam! What are you doing?! We're already late!" To which Meryl replies, "Ok! Ok! Ok! I'm coming!" End ID]

the experience was enough for her to accept that she might not be the closest with her parents (or just father? considering she only ever mentions a father in this all), but it's still worth reaching out even if she doesn't have much to say.

this arc is the most we see about Meryl's backstory in the manga, but I think we can draw a few things from it. we have a definite mention of a father, but no others. no mention of siblings or any other family members. she's distant from her father, too busy following her heart & goals, but she doesn't have a bad relationship with him. just Distant. she feels disconnected from him, even Cold, for her focus on her work & the practicalities in front of her. but even with that disconnect, she still cares enough about him to feel guilty when she realizes she's been doing this.

and then considering later, when we see the flashback of a man giving her the gun... i'd assumed that was possibly a senior at her work (probably tristamp giving me that perception, from Roberto), but keeping all the rest of this in mind... it really could have been her father.

i went looking to try to find that part. did not find that one exactly, but i DID find this one from trimax chapter 34:

[ID: A nearly bald man with a kind face and what appear to be shooting ear muffs around his neck tells Meryl, "Consider guns delicate. Women, most of all, should make use of them. One shot will level the playing field between you and a big, strong man." End ID]

if this is indeed her father, it would explain why she knows how to shoot like she does. perhaps her father taught her as she was growing up out of the wish to help her protect herself. maybe they weren't incredibly close, but he still clearly cared about her & wanted what was best for her and her safety. the kind of father that's content to let her do whatever her heart wishes, since her happiness is his happiness.

and then chapter 12 ends with this page:

[ID: A black framed page with a single panel at the center. The panel shows Meryl from behind, running with her luggage in hand. The text boxes to the sides state, "All of life is connected by a river... And the beginning of the river... is now." End ID]

she continues on her own path, not looking back, but she is still connected to the ones in her heart... including her father.

(Manga panels referenced from @trigun-manga-overhaul !)

#speculation nation #trigun #meryl stryfe #fanny's trigun analysis #fanny reads trigun #oh god this got longer than i was planning on it being #also writing IDs is a little hard lol. tried my best tho #but YEAH we really know so little about meryl and her home life. but this really does give us some great context for it #im picking at fucking crumbs here lmfao but they're still pretty solid crumbs #this. is probably what i'm gonna be running under for my own ideas of meryl's backstory #single child raised by a single father. a gunman who taught her how to shoot so she could protect herself #a slightly distant relationship. but not a negative one.#someone she still loves and knows will be there for her should she ever decide to return #someone who wouldnt ever even dream of trying to stifle her. he wants her to follow her dreams.#it's... actually kinda really sweet lol.#meryl #<- for my own tagging purposes lol #long post/

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ohthemis · 2 years

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heyy! i absolutely love all your hcs! they just make me melt or cry or both xD i was wondering if you are taking any requests and you are, could i request a hc of how the nxx boys would react if their s/o receives a really sweet anonymous love letter?? thanks in advance!

tot boys when their s/o gets a love letter

characters: all

ARTEM WING

finds solace in the fact that it’s anonymous. if the person who sent it was as sweet as the letter was, he’d have some serious competition.

awkward laughing as he impatiently waits for u to chuck the letter in the trash.

“what are you going to do with it? are you going to keep it?” say yes and he has no idea what to say, a bit of stuttering and silence

kind of gets downcast if you want to keep it, but tbf id get upset too if my s/o wanted to keep a love letter from someone else

MARIUS VON HAGEN

he’s so offended anyone would even dare.

do you have cctv footage? cmon show him...he needs to know...mc please....

pretty much throws it in the trash for you. ofc u could always ask him not to, and he wont, but why would u do that????

“forget about it” <- marius whos already planning your next date together

LUKE PEARCE

the horror on his face, oh my god.

he’s not going to ask you outright to like, put the letter aside (or in the trash), but hes definitely hoping that out of respect for him, you would

gets a bit prissy tbh, ur gonna have to deal with bratty luke. he wont be immature but hes not too calm about it

eventually asks you to like,, throw it away or do something with it at least. he doesnt want that thing in his near vicinity

VYN RICHTER

smug bastard, tbh

youd think he wrote it, but nope. honestly kind of wants to keep it just to spite the person who wrote it, bc theyll never have u lol

he doesnt know who its from and he doesnt try to find out either, but one way or another he’ll know anyways. he wont do anything about it though

he knows ur hot, not his fault others can see how amazing u are too. like hell yeah his s/o is fucking on fire

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r0semint · 11 months

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hey! let’s talk about teru’s relationship with food!

all three of us get the feeling that food is a love language for teru, or at least, we feel like it’s important to consider how food plays a role in his story arc when doing a character study of him.

okay so first off, right from his introduction he is a foil to mob.

[ID: four manga panels featuring teru getting ready for school. from right to left: the first panel shows his hand and a pan frying an egg. the second is his hand holding a remote. the third shows a tv of a meteorologist saying: “today’s weather.” The forth panel is teru pulling on his school blazer, watching the tv. the meteorologist continues: “a lot of sunshine through the country, though the air is a bit unstable. /END ID]

when teru first appears, we as an audience don’t know it yet, but he lives alone and has been living alone without his parents for several years. here he is cooking his own breakfast and getting himself ready in his apartment by himself.

[ID: five manga panels of mob being woken up for school. from right to left: the first panels is a shot of the roof of the kageyama house. the second is mob, asleep on his futon. his mom is talking from off screen. she says: “shige, get up! you’re gonna be late!” the third is mob yawning and stretching his arms about his head. the forth panel is ritsu opening the door to mob’s room. he says “bro. mom said breakfast is ready.” the fifth panel shows ritsu looking at mob. mob is putting on a pair of pants saying: “yeah ritsu. let’s go.” /END ID]

meanwhile mob, is woken up by his mom and is checked on by his brother to make sure he was up in order to get a breakfast that was more than likely made by their parents.

when mob plans on confessing to tsubomi, teru brings up how homemade things tend to make him feel happy when someone confesses to him.

[ID: manga panel of teru being offered a gift from a girl. it reads: “I tend to be on the receiving end of confessions, but…when someone gives me a handkerchief, or a letter, or homemade cookies or something, it makes me kinda happy, so…I was just thinking, there’s that kind of thing too.” /END ID]

also we see teru tend to overindulge when someone (reigen) is offering to buy food for him

[ID: panel from yakiniku omake. teru is ordering food. he says: I’ll have have 4 orders of top ribs, 2 orders of sakura yukhoe, 2 orders of choice salty beef tongue, the extra special zabuton-cut beef, the offal sampler, 3 orders of rice, a tomato salad, and the naengmyeon…and a green tea.” /END ID]

[ID: cropped screencap of official art. teru has finished two ice cream parfaits. the empty glasses sit in front of a third one, which he is using telekinesis to float the toppings near his face. /END ID]

this often played for laughs, but stick with us here…

in the fanbook teru is asked if he cooks for himself and he says yes, and mentions that he’s confident in his pasta making skills.

[ID: cropped screencap from the fanbook that reads: “Q1: do you make your own food? What are you good at cooking?” Teru answers: “I cook lots of different kinds of things! but what I’m confident in is my pasta.” /END ID]

at first this may seem like a very 14 year old answer…I mean, pasta is fairly easy to make. But knowing teru and how he tends to become and expert at the skills he learns, odds are pasta started off as something simple to throw together on a school night. Pasta is easy and convenient and kid friendly, but it is very easy to experiment with and eventually become a speciality.

and one thing we know about teru is that he has too many specialities to list.

this kid has been needing to make his own food 100% on his own since the start of middle school. we can infer he’s getting money from his parents, and we aren’t exactly sure how much or how he spends it regarding food, but the only time we seem him eating alone, he is making a meal for himself outside of something premade or takeout. he said it himself, he makes lots of different kinds of things! he knows how to cook!

but with all things teru something simple and silly comes with tragedy. while it’s nice fore a kid his age to know how to cook, he NEEDS to know because he doesn’t live with his parents. if he didn’t know how to cook he would be relying on others, and that’s just not what teru does. He is fully capable and learns for himself out of necessity. teru is responsible for all of his own meals.

so what happens when he is no longer responsible? it could be an issue with humbleness. it could also be just normal 14 year old boy hunger, but when reigen takes him out to eat there’s no limits. but here’s the thing…when’s the last time teru has had a home-cooked meal that was made for him by someone else? not from a restaurant, but someone making something for him?

this is why we have the omurice scene in backdraft. there’s a comfort in the domesticity of having food prepared for him in a familial setting that he has not realized he has been missing from his life.

we’ve focused on the fear of him getting cut off from his parents and how money scarcity turns into food scarcity. he’s always been in survival mood, it’s just that money was the breaking point for him.

going back to mob. he and his family are normally seen sitting at the dinner table together. a normal domestic setting.

[ID: screencap of the kageyama family eating omurice together]

something teru doesn’t have. he eats alone at a table in his apartment…one with multiple chairs around it.

[ID: screencap of teru in his apartment. In the background, he is getting ready, looking in a full length mirror. next to him is a tv showing the weather. in the foreground is a table with an empty plate, mug and saucer, and a basket with a single roll. two chairs are seen at the table. /END ID]

teru has not invited anyone into his apartment until mob got attacked by koyama.

who are those chairs for teru?

of course, in backdraft we have the restaurant scene that mirrors this. empty chairs for absent parents.

BUT ITS NOT ALL SAD

back to food being a love language and specialty to teru…imagine once he’s no longer in survival mode due to trauma. food as a comfort, not only receiving, but making it for others as well. tying into him wanting to be a teacher, sharing his skills with others…the fact it feels good creating and sharing something. no longer taking care of himself out of necessity, but learning what his skills and hobbies are and genuinely sharing them because they make him feel accomplished and happy! it just ties everything together with this dude.

in short, cooking is more than likely another speciality teru has developed due to needing to live on his own. since mp100 has themes that involve human connection and relationships with others, we feel food is something that brings people together and our boy teru here should experience that firsthand.

that is why it plays a big role in what we have so far in backdraft!

#we talked about this in DMs for a bit but I (rose) felt like it should be shared!#mp100 #hanazawa teruki #teruki hanazawa #mp100 meta #mp100 backdraft #long post

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imawkwardlysoc · 1 year

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accepted or denied?

Pairing- pete 'maverick' mitchell x daughter!reader

Warning(s)- No use of pronouns, use of Y/N, Penny and Mav got together before the movie and Amelia is Mav's daughter

Wordcount- 1,033

Summary- After getting accepted to most of the colleges that the reader applied to, the reader is waiting for just one more responce.

A/N- If you got accepted to all of the colleges you wanted to be accepted to congrats! If not, just reject their rejection. This is coming from the girl who applied to only four schools and got rejected by three of them with two being her dream schools, and now is going to her safety school which I have a love/hate relationship with.

“You are going to tear a hole into the floor if you keep doing that,” my sister Amelia told me as I paced back and forth by our front door. “The mailman is coming soon. Stop worrying.”

“Easy for you to say since you’re just a freshman,” I looked at her. “Once you reach senior year and already turned in your college application, you’ll get the feeling.”

“Y/N, sweetie, distract your mind,” Mom squeezed my shoulder. “It’s going to come soon.”

“I would if the teachers didn’t have that evaluation day and I didn’t have to be home,” I groaned. “This is my make it or break it moment.”

“Says the girl who got into UC Berkeley, UC LA, Cal Poly, San Diego State, and other amazing colleges in California,” Amelia looked at me as if I was crazy.

Hearing the mailman open our gate, I rushed to the front door and quickly opened it which caused our mailman to let out a laugh at my eagerness.

“I guess someone’s eager to hear back from colleges,” George laughed as he grabbed the stack of mail from his bag. “Good luck.”

“Thanks George,” I thanked him before walking into the kitchen.

I heard Mom apologizing to George about my bluntness and met Amelia and I in the kitchen. Throwing non-important mail into a separate stack, I was met with the envelope from CalTech. My hands immediately started to shake knowing I might get rejected from them. Looking at my mom and sister who gave me hopeful and encouraging looks, I took a breath and started to open the envelope. I took the paper out and started to read it.

“Dear Y/N, congratulations! It is an honor to offer you admission to the California Institution of Technology and the Class of 2023!” I read out while exclaiming.

“You got in?” Mom asked with wide eyes.

“I got in!” The three of us started to jump up and down in celebration.

“Mom,” I saw the tears in her eyes.

“I’m just happy,” she sniffed and wiped her tears.

“I need to tell Dad,” I looked at her.

“Take my keys,” she told me and we hugged again.

Taking the keys from the bowl, I unlocked her car and started driving to base. Sitting at a stop light, I let out a sob of happiness knowing that I got accepted to my dream school. Showing my badge and ID when I got to the entrance of the base, I parked the car and rushed into the building. Nodding my head to a couple of commanding officers like Cyclone and Warlock, I made it to Dad’s office to see his receptionist sitting there.

“Hey Shelly, is my dad in his office?” I asked her.

“No, he’s currently in the hangar with the Dagger Squad,” she replied and saw the look on my face. “You got in didn’t you?”

“Yep,” I nodded my head.

“Congrats hun, we knew you would,” she congratulated me.

I thanked her and went to the hangar where everyone else was. Running down the base, I saw my dad and the squadron talking to each other about things.

“Dad!” I let out another sob as I got closer to him. “Dad!”

“Hey, hey, Y/N,” he went up to me and wrapped me in a hug. “What’s wrong?”

“I got in,” I looked up to him with teary eyes.

“What? What do you mean?” A confused look formed on my face.

“I. Got. In.” I repeated as his eyes widened finally realizing what I meant.

“No you didn't!” His jaw dropped and I gave him the acceptance letter, also the digital one that I got a few minutes later after getting my letter. “You did!”

Dad picked me up and spun me around like he did as I was a little girl. I wrapped my legs around his waist and more tears started to fall down. Putting me down, he hugged me again as tears fell down his eyes and wrapped me in a hug again. Letting go, we let out a chuckle as we wiped our tears and saw the Dagger Squad looking at us.

“I got into CalTech!” I yelled out as I ran up to my brother and adoptive siblings.

A bunch of holy shits and congratulations were said and many hugs. Later on the day, Mom closed the Hard Deck for the day so we could celebrate with my friends and family.

*Few Months Later*

Walking into my dorm room, I placed one of my last boxes on my bed and looked around the room.

“Well, I guess this is it isn’t it?” Dad asked as he placed the last box on the floor.

“I guess so,” I looked at my family and felt a lump in my throat. “I’m going to miss you guys.”

“Aw hun,” all of them wrapped their arms around me to give me a hug.

“Hey, we’re a phone call away,” Mom told me.

“If you want to come home, I’ll drive the Bronco the three hours here and the three hours there,” Rooster squeezed me.

“You’re going to kickass,” Amelia said.

“Amelia,” Mom sacked her arm as she heard her youngest curse.

“It’s not like we have a naval aviator as a dad who curses all the time,” she shrugged her shoulders and we let out a laugh.

“So if any of the F-18s or any old plane I buy needs fixing, I know who to call right?” Dad jokes.

“Just give me the time and place,” I smiled and hugged them again.

Taking pictures together and having tearful goodbyes, they left my room and I looked around to look at the place I’ll be getting my degree in. Looking on my bed, I saw a wrapped present and unwrapped it. Tearing the wrapping paper off, I saw a note from Dad and a picture of Mom, Dad, Amelia, Rooster, and I at the beach together. There was another one with me and the Dagger Squad playing dogfight football. With a smile forming on my face, I placed it down on my desk and read the note.

Don’t think. Just do.

x Dad

#pete maverick mitchell x reader #pete mitchell x reader #maverick x reader #top gun maverick x reader #top gun x reader #top gun #top gun maverick #pete maverick mitchell #pete mitchell #maverick mitchell #amelia benjamin #penny benjamin #dagger squad #mavdad

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ichijager13 · 1 year

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Without you

Pairing : Odasaku x reader

Rate : general audience

A futur time line where Dazai is the port mafia boss, Six years time skip since the dark era arc, both me, Dazai and reader need a hug, domestic fluff, grief, trying to start all over again.

Summary: After three years, Reader meets Dazai, her lover's friend at the cemetery.

Word count: 5K

A/N: What can I say other then that this one broke my heart to pieces... Enjoy reading.

This is a rewrite of something I bulished months ago on AO3 (I made it angstier...)

Also, I would like to thank each one of you for the support you are giving me ❤️

A sleepy smile spread across your lips when you felt him pressing tender kisses along your bare shoulders. You tilted your head to give him more access to the thin skin of your neck. A quiet whimper dropped from you as he grazed your warm skin with his sharp teeth.

You rolled to your side and brushed your lips against his. "Good morning". you whispered combing your fingers with soft and short red locks.

"Good morning, my love". he breathed against your lips. his arms brought you closer while his lips moved oh so gently against yours.

Early mornings, sleepy cuddles, soft and long kisses, books scattered in every corner of your apartment, the appealing smell of curry, warm smiles, soft red locks underneath your fingers, giggles of the kids, tight hugs, and endless happiness. Things you had to live without since that day. things that disappeared from your life with him.

You slipped your shoes on and checked once again for your phone and wallet before you closed the door behind you.

"I love this city". You hummed feeling your lover's warm embrace. "I can't see myself living somewhere else like I can't imagine myself being with someone else but you". Your head rested on his shoulder while your grip around his body tightened. Soft lips pressed to your temple; you close your eyes before you follow. "Promise me you'll never leave and that we'll grow old together under the sky of this town".

The sound of the kids echoed in your ears while you remained there, standing on your balcony watching the sun slowly set, pressed against each other.

After almost three years you moved back to Yokohama, his hometown, the only place where you belong. After three long years, you are finally able to breathe the same air he once breathed. You finally went back to your apartment.

You frowned when you checked the caller's ID, you left the teacher's room to take it.

"You need to come as soon as possible". Dazai's desperate voice spoke as soon as you picked up. "He has been severely injured; I'll send someone to get you". Your heart pounded violently against your ribcage. Without a word, you hung up went back inside grabbed your stuff, and left. You remained silent during the whole ride.

It was another Saturday morning; the kids were at your mother's place. On your way to the cemetery; you stopped to get a bouquet of fresh daisies.

Ever since that fatidic day six years ago, you never missed your weekly date with your lover. You would sit there with your back leaning against his tombstone and babble about stuff. Your lectures, current read, what's on your mind, and recently about the kids.

You stepped out of the car before it fully stopped and ran inside the building. It was a little bit dark but you could make out the contours of Dazai's frail figure hugging a body. Your heart skipped a beat when you realized whose body it was.

"My love". you clutched your hands to your mouth falling to your knees next to him. with gleaming eyes, you watched his hand falling off Dazai's face. With the last bits of strength, he had, he managed to take off the bandages covering the teenage port mafia executor's face.

You kneeled in front of the gravestone and pressed your lips to the letters forming his name. "Good morning, my beloved". You greeted before sitting down.

"Daisies?" you frowned watching the man you love making a flower crown. Your question was met with a quiet hum as a response. "Why though?"

"'Cause, it reminds me of you". He answered placing the now finished crown on top of your head. "They're cheerful and seeing them makes me feel at peace". His hand ran across your face before it rested against your jawline cupping it softly. "So delicate yet standing tall and with grace". Your eyelids fluttered shut as you absorbed his words. "With a pure heart radiating kindness like the sun radiating its light". A shy smile made its way across your lips. "So beautiful and gentle". He inched closer before capturing your lips.

"Sorry, I'm late". You rested your head on the cold gray marble. "I didn't find fresh daisies at the shop in our neighborhood, so I had to go elsewhere".

"And what kind of writer do you want to be?" Your eyebrows shot up in amusement. You took your time studying the handsome man sitting across from you. tall, tanned skin, vacant blue eyes, and unshaved shin.

With his eyes still fixed on his eventually cold cup of coffee, he answered. "The one that offers life". You chewed on your cheek to prevent the smile threatening to blossom.

That was the moment you fell hopelessly and helplessly in love with him.

Your eyes gazed at the clear blue sky. "Spring break is about to end," you breathed. "This year I will have freshmen and juniors. I can't wait to meet them". Your voice was soft yet filled with excitement. "I have already prepared a list of the books that I want to make them discover".

"Junichi, my dear, say hi to Asami". You squeezed his shoulder encouraging your five-year-old kid. "She's going to live with us, she will be your little sister".

A pair of dark, big eyes stared at you before they drifted to the young girl. "My sister?" He whispered. "I can play with her?" His eyes gleamed with excitement and brought you joy.

"Of course, my dear". you nodded.

"Things are fine, the kids are growing up fast. Junichi is obsessed with his new sister. They grew attached to each other during the past two months. Asami is a sweetheart; you would've gotten along so well and make me feel jealous". You let out a short laugh. "She loves reading too, she refuses to go to sleep unless I read her a story. And sometimes, Junichi volunteers to read for her. It's fascinating how fast he learns. He is getting better at reading and writing". Your smile grew wider when you remembered your children. "Oh, and he wants to learn to play chess, I bought him one yesterday. You should've seen the look in his eyes when he unwrapped it. He'll be turning 6 next month".

"I'm home". His deep monotone voice reached you from the house entrance before he stepped into the kitchen. "Curry?"

"Flavorful and spicy exactly how my man prefers it". you chanted before your lips met.

"What a lucky man". He commented once the kiss ended. "The house is suspiciously calm". he susurrated face still an inch away from yours. "Where are they?"

"Their room, I asked them to do their math assignments". You wrapped your arms around his shoulders. "Let us enjoy this calm a little". You whispered against his lips. but what the kids didn't notice was the subtle nod and glance exposing their places to the man in your arms.

Before they could move, he jumped pulling Sakura from behind the door. "One down". Followed by Yu and Katsumi who were hiding under the dining table. "Three".

"It's not fear! You cheated". Shinji rumbled when you glanced at the balcony where he was hiding. "You weren't supposed to help him!" He glared at you.

Your eyes narrowed. "I did exactly what you asked me to do". You pleaded. "I was trying to distract him so that you can take him down". You were doing your best to stifle your laughter.

Meanwhile, Kosuke was debating to break free from the redhead's grip. "And the last one is down". He spoke before setting the kid next to the others. "Giving up?" He inquired. He glanced at you and you joined them on the floor. "Seems like your ally surrendered".

He glanced at each one of you before he shrugged. "I guess I have to use some mafia-style torture". And he squeezed Yu's cheeks before pulling them gently. "So?" He glanced at the others before he kneeled in front of you. "Your ally is next". He wiggled his fingers. "She can't resist this one, are you willing to sacrifice her?"

"Don't!" you squeaked when his fingers touched your sides. "Kosuke, Katsumi please help". You cried when he closed his mouth around your nape. "No, not-not in front of the kids".

You took a deep, shaky breath. "I wish they had the chance to know you. I'm pretty sure they would've loved you".

"Can I remove it now?" you asked when the door clicked open. Seconds later, the darkness started vanishing as he uncovered your eyes. You blinked chasing away the blurry veil that coated your eyes before taking in the lovely sight offered to you. The spacious room was managed into a children's bedroom. "This is so beautiful". You gasped. "You did this?" You asked and he bobbed his head.

"The house is still exactly like you left it; the kids love it. I finally fixed the blue closet, the one you painted clouds and a sun on for the kids. I asked the school's art teacher to reproduce the same drawing and she did an excellent job".

"Look she's here". Dazai mourned. "Open your eyes Odasaku, you can't leave, not yet". He cried.

"My love". his voice was husky and barely audible. "I'm sorry, I won't be able to keep my promises". Tears flooded as you shook your head. "I can't write it…". he winced when he felt one of your tears rolling down his face. "I can no longer write a story". You pressed his head to your chest as silent tears continued streaming down your flushed cheeks. "I wish I could grow old with you and watch our kids live a happy and peaceful life. I'm… I'm sorry".

"Sakunosuke". Your voice broke when you called his name. through half-lidded eyes, the once cold and empty blue eyes stared at you with love. "You still can write one". You managed to gulp. "Up there, just make sure to save a copy for me, my beloved". He reached a shaking hand to brush away your tears.

"I'm sorry". He mumbled. "I…". he took a deep breath. "I fell in love with you the moment you smiled at me. It wasn't until I saw your smile that I understood the importance of life. Please, I want to see your beautiful smile. One last time". A relieved sigh left his pained chest when your lips quired up. "I love you".

"I love you too and I'll always will". You breathed before pressing your lips to his. When you pulled back, he was already gone, a soft smile adorning his pale face. You buried your face in his chest breathing in the familiar comforting smell. A wounded cry left your heaving chest as you mourned the love of your life.

You didn't notice Dazai's absence until he patted your shoulder. "Let's go". He spoke looking down. You covered his body with your scarf and followed the young port mafia member after you glanced one last time at the corpse of the man you love.

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. "I miss you, Sakunosuke". A single tear rolled down your cheek. "I hope you and the kids are happier up there and that you finally got to write a story. Please, save a copy for me, darling. Tell the kids I love them and that I always pray for them, I pray for all of you. Please, watch over us and give me the strength I need to raise them well". You buried your face in your hands sobbing quietly. Images from your dates, late-night conversations, picnics with the kids, and early-morning cuddles flashed in front of you.

You were laying on your back in the middle of the empty room with your lover’s head resting on your bare stomach.

You couldn’t hide your surprise when you found him waiting for you near the high school where you teach at the end of the day.

“Hi darling”. He greeted before printing a kiss on your forehead. “I have a surprise for you, come with me”.

After a twenty minutes’ walk you found yourself standing in front of an apartment complex. Puzzled, you glanced at him waiting for an explanation. He opened the door and turned to you. “Welcome home, my love”. your mouth dropped.

After visiting every room and talking about how you want to decorate each corner of the house, you made love in the middle of what’s going to be your bedroom. Your digits were buried in his hair, scratching his skull gently.

Feeling your body shivering underneath his body, he moved, resting your head on top of his chest and covering your body with a blanket. His heartbeats and the warmth radiating from his body lulled you to sleep.

Not a day passed without you wandering through those memories. Even though he’s no longer a part of this world, it almost felt like he never left. He was everywhere you looked, smiling at you and guiding your steps leading you out of the darkness surrounding you. but almosts are never enough. It wasn't enough to ease your pain. That alone couldn't fill the void he left behind him and that consumed you slowly. before you adopted Junichi and Asami your life was a living hell, a hell you dragged your previous companion into.

It was a Saturday morning; the kids were still asleep. You were enjoying the calm while sipping coffee and reading your book. You were so immersed in the story you didn’t notice his presence until he pecked your temple.

You looked up offering him your brightest smile. Your lips met once he set his cup of coffee and took a place next to you. the kiss was sweet and short and was followed by another one longer. He slipped a hand to grip your hip as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss. One of your hands was pressed against his toned torso while the other was wrapped around his shoulder. You continued exchanging kisses pulling away only when you felt dizzy due to the lack of oxygen. Before you knew it, you were sitting on his lap, soft kisses growing sloppier and messier.

Tears finally dry, you felt a cold hand tapping your shoulder. "So, it's been you all along".

"Dazai". You breathed recognizing your lover's friend's voice. Your eyes were met with a thin smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"Here, I'm sure he hates seeing his sweetheart crying". He handed you a tissue. "So, the rumors were true. you did move back to Yokohama".

"Yes, I came back home a year ago". You whipped your tears before offering him a place to sit beside you.

He leaned against the gravestone as his eyes wandered around before focusing on you. "And how are you doing?" He inquired.

"I'm doing well. I have two kids, a six years old boy named Junichi. We have been living together for a year now. And a two years old girl, Asami, who joined our family two months prior. Just like him, they both love reading". You beamed caressing his name.

"Ah, you adopted them". A faint smile tugged up his mouth when you nodded. "Wouldn't expect less from Odasaku's girl".

"No, no, no, please stay with me. please, don't leave like your father. Please, I beg of you, stay". You fell to the floor sobbing hysterically as the crimson pool underneath you grew bigger.

"Yes, I lost the baby months after Saku's death". A veil of sadness draped your eyes when you remembered that particular may night. "I believe he chose to join his father". Not knowing how to respond he rubbed your back up and down.

"And where are you staying with the kids?" He asked once you regained composure.

"Our house". You replied smiling.

"You… you kept it?"

"Of course, I did. You think we would've still lived in there if he was still among us?"

"I highly doubt it since you would've had about 10 kids, plus me". He said laughing, you joined him.

"How about you Dazai? How are you doing?"

"Quite busy since I became the port mafia boss". Noticing the surprised look, he changed the subject. "Can I offer you a coffee?"

"How about you come home and have lunch with us". You cooed, hesitating as he rubbed the back of his head. "The kids will be home by noon. I'm pretty sure they would be happy to meet you". you added in order to convince him. "Please, Dazai it's been a long time since I cooked for you".

"No spicy food". He rose his hand.

“Why do you always have to add so much spices”. The dark-haired boy whined. “that’s the only thing I can taste”.

“I’m sorry, Sakunosuke didn’t tell me you were coming. Here, this will help”. You handed him a glass of milk. “I’ll make you something not spicy, just a second”. You held your finger before going through the fridge.

"No spicy food". You promised. You pressed your lips to his name before murmuring. "See you next week, my love".

During the drive home, Dazai told you about how he left the armed detective agency and became the port mafia's boss.

Entering the apartment, a couple of souvenirs crossed Dazai's mind. "It still feels the same". He mumbled before he followed you inside.

"The kids will be thrilled when they see you. they feel a bit lonely since we don't receive many visitors". You spoke while putting on your apron. "How about some miso soup, rice balls, and grilled salmon?" You inquired.

"As long as it's not too spicy".

"I don't cook spicy food anymore". You mumbled, noticing Dazai's pale expression you added in a more cheerful tone. "Want some sake?"

"Yes, please". He smiled sheepishly. "Would it be rude if I ask you what happened with your boyfriend?" he inquired a while later.

"Oh, Yushimasa". You let out looking down, you felt your cheeks' temperature rising as you busied yourself with dicing the vegetables. "He said he has no chance of beating a dead man and that he is tired of trying".

"He knew". Dazai gasped, eyebrows quirked.

You nodded. "I never knew about it but he once followed me to the cemetery". You started cutting the fish. "He kept everything to himself until that day. I was making launch when he came into the kitchen looking as if he was leading a rough battle. It was a Saturday noon, and as usual, I visited Sakunosuke. So, he came in and said that our story reminds him of a western song and then told me everything". You glanced at the dark-haired man sitting on the other side of the countertop.

A worn-out sigh left your lips, this looks nothing like the curry you used to make. You were stirring the content of the pot when you heard your partner clear his throat.

"It will be ready soon, could you please set the table?" you asked.

"There's a song I want you to listen to. It, pretty much sums up our story". Confused you asked him to play it before started making a salad.

I am everything you want

I am everything you need

I am everything inside of you

That you wish you could be

I say all the right things

At exactly the right time

But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why

The lyrics echoed in the kitchen. Startled you throw looks his way; he was sitting by the dining table smoking calmly, only his shaking hands betrayed how nervous he was. "There's no use in hiding it anymore, I know about him". he spoke when the melody finally faded. "I understand why you always sound off and you never look me in the eyes when we make love. I know where your mind wanders when we are together. I realize why you never told me you love me”. he paused, eyes looking anywhere but at you. “for a long time, I mistook whatever you felt toward me for love. I somehow convinced myself that it's your shy nature that is keeping you from verbalizing your feeling and being more demonstrative". He took a long drag before he continued. "I didn't want to rush you or make you feel uncomfortable around me. so, I sat and waited patiently for you to overcome whatever was keeping you from loving me properly". He ran a hand across his face before taking another drag. "But then a friend told me that maybe you were having an affair. I laughed at him at first and said he is being ridiculous. But there was this Saturday morning thing. You always go out around the same time without saying where you are heading. And you never asked me to accompany you". you ceased moving and stood still listening to him. "I'm sorry but I couldn't take it anymore so I followed you". a bitter laugh left his chest. "I know I shouldn't do such a thing but… There were lots of questions and they were eating me alive. I had to know, I had to". His eyes trailed on your frozen figure before he dragged them away. "I had to know what was keeping us -what's keeping you- from being happy". He squeezed his eyes shut breathing in the nicotine before he resumed. "And there you were sitting next to his grave crying with your head resting against the tombstone".

"You never stopped loving him, didn't you?" Dazai's voice brought you back to the present time.

"I think you are best fitted to know that Sakunosuke is the kind of person who marks your heart and soul forever".

He took one last drag before crashing his cigarette. "I was a fool for believing that if I showed you how much I love and care for you, you might end up forgetting him. I never had a chance, since the very start". He looked up at you, a pained smile on his face. "I was being selfish. Forcing you to keep on doing this, expecting things from you when I knew your heart belongs to someone else. I can't do this any longer. I can't ignore his presence anymore. I can't pretend I don't see it in your eyes". Another dry chuckle left his quivering lips. "You never stopped loving him, not once. And I know I can't compete with him. I can never win your heart. I have already packed my stuff. I'll leave after launch. I would love to share one last meal with you if it doesn't bother you".

"Of course, I still love him and will always do. How can I forget what is inked in my soul? It has always been him and it always will be".

"What happened next?"

"Well, he said he is tired of pretending to be oblivious and not understanding that my heart belongs to someone else. He said that when he saw me crying and talking to the gravestone, he put two and two together and understood everything". You closed your eyes letting your souvenirs submerge you.

"There's no need to". These were the first words that came out of you. and for a split second, relief washed over him before he heard your next words. "I have a place to go to. A home back at Yokohama". The way his face twitched in pain crushed your soul. you could've sworn you heard his heart crack when those words dropped from you and you hated yourself for putting him through this.

"He kindly offered to move out and leave me the house. But I refused, I told him I already have a place I call home and that I'm going back there. I believe he made the right choice and I’m thankful to him". You smiled at the tall brunette. "I was finally able to breathe again and to continue to cherish my beloved's memory without feeling guilty. For the first time in years, I felt free. I was finally able to stop pretending and stop faking smiles. During three years, I had to pretend that I was happy, that that was the life I wanted to live, and that seeing how miserable he was because of me wasn't killing me. You know I can still feel his presence around me. Saku never left me, he is still here looking after me and our children". Noticing Dazai's puzzled expression you explained. "I never removed my name from the family registry. And when I adopted the kids, I added them there. so, officially they are Junichi and Asami Oda".

"I'm sorry you had to deal with all of this". Dazai spoke. "But why you never asked for my help?" A soft smile break through your face. Dazai has always held a special place in your heart. "You can always come for me if you or one of the kids need anything. I would be more than happy to help Odasaku's family".

"I know Dazai, I know. But you were going through a lot and I didn't want to bother you".

"Ah, ah, aaaah easy with that". He squealed; his reaction brought you pleasant memories. You remembered his flushed face each time you invited him when Odasaku did the cooking. You would listen to him going about how he always gets on chuuya's nerves. Just like Odasaku, you always enjoy Dazai's storytelling. You have always wished you could do more to help him. for both you and Odasaku, Dazai is like a son.

"Don't worry these are not spicy". You reassured him. "The kids will be here anytime soon". You added when you glanced at the clock on the wall. Like they were listening, the sound of the doorbell resonated in the house. "Hi babies, we have a guest today. Junichi darling, go greet uncle Dazai after you wash your hands". You took Asami from your sister. "Do you want to come in? I made a cake this morning". you asked her.

"Sorry, I have to go grocery shopping. Maybe next time?" She pressed a loving kiss on the tip of your daughter's nose before she left. Going back inside you found Dazai and your son have already become friends.

"Meet Asami Oda". You spoke in a cheerful voice which caused Dazai to smile fondly. "Do you want to hold her? It will be alright, just follow my instructions". You tried to encourage him when his eyes narrowed in worry.

"Please Odasaku don't kill me if I drop her". He mumbled holding your baby. "At least, do it gently". His last words made you laugh so hard.

"Place a hand behind her back. Like that. See, I told you it's easy". When his eyes met your child's, she smiled and him before ruffling his soft locks. "Apparently, she loves you. make sure you don't break her heart". You taunted.

"I sure won't. no one wants to deal with an angry Odasaku". He joked.

He was bumping the young girl when you spoke. "Be nice to him baby girl, he's papa's dear friend". he felt his heart stop when you refer to Odasaku as the father of your kids. Looking at you, he realized that if anyone was suffering from his friend's absence more than him, that person must be you.

"Mama, can I show uncle Dazai my chess game?" Junichi asked tucking at your apron.

"Of course, darling. Do you know where it is?" He nodded visibly happy before running to get it. "Careful not to fall". You called for him. "You sure are popular among the Oda's". you commented. "Try to come more often, please. I'm sure that will make both of them happy, especially him. He needs a masculine presence and another person telling him stories about the father he didn't have the chance to know". Your eyes swam with tears. "You are always welcome here, Dazai".

"I would love to. I have plenty of stories to tell about Odasaku". He took a sip from his sake. "What about Ango? Have you seen him?"

"We are in touch. He paid me a visit when he heard I was back and helped register the kids under Saku's name. he took care of all the formalities and helped me find a job but he never met the kids. You are the only one from Sakunosuke's friends and acquaintances who did". You took Asami from him and put her in her play space. "There you go". You patted her head before taking a place by the countertop. You took a sip from the tea you made and stared at him for a while. "I'm glad you took off the bandages that were covering your face. You have a beautiful face don't hide it again".

"If it helps find a beautiful girl who is willing to commit double suicide with me, I won't". you stifled a laugh. "Do you intend to stay here?" you nodded. After a brief silence, he called your name. "I never told this to Odasaku… but you are the parents I always wished I had". His words brought you tears. you reached your hands and squeezed his.

You still remember the day Odasaku told you about the kind of life Dazai has and it broke your heart to pieces. With a flushed face and soaked with tears, you asked your lover many times to convince him to come live with you which he did, on many occasions but Dazai refused each time.

"I already consider you as their old brother, we always did -Saku and I- that's why I want them to get to know you. just no talking about the new technics you discover around them, okay?" you winked.

"I promise". He rose his hand. he waited until the kid was out of earshot. "I miss him too. I'm sorry I couldn't save him. I'm sorry I didn't stop him. if only I arrived minutes earlier".

"It's not your fault, I mean it. don't blame yourself for something you haven't done. I don't think he would appreciate you doing it, and I don't appreciate either. continue doing good things as he asked you, and continue helping make the world a better place". You gently caressed his hair putting on a brave smile. "And honor his memory".

After Dazai left in the afternoon, you addressed a silent prayer and asked for him to be relieved of the heavy burden he carries. you prayed that one day the sad boy covered with bandages finally finds happiness. the same kind of happiness you felt beside your lover. You kneeled and prayed for Odasaku and the kids' souls, you prayed for Junichi and Asami and you prayed for more strength and courage to keep on living in a world without the man you love.

#odasaku x reader #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs odasaku #Dazai Osamu #bsd fanfic #Oda Sakunosuke #bsd odasaku #dark era bsd #port mafia boss dazai #bsd

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h0r0gur4mu · 8 months

Text

Gotta Catch Em’ All!

trainer!hobie brown x gn!trainer!reader

text that is small is an optional detail!

pls give advice on hobies accent

fluff, headcanons + mini scenarios, pokémon-au

POKEDEX: HOBART BROWN

Name — Hobie Brown

ID No. — XXXXXX

Britain Pokedex — Earth-136

Money — Thief!

Battle Points — 947283

He’s a menace to say the least. Not in a quirky but in a way where he’s actually a national problem.

He likes Fairy and Ghost types. He feels like people aim for physical and elementally strong Pokémon because they’re known to be efficient; but who said that he couldn’t beat them? Snap out of it!

He found Mimikyu one day behind a brush in the woods

Love at first sight fr

He gave it a spiked collar and a spiked-mohawk-headband

He doesn’t use Pokéballs unless Mimikyu is seriously injured and there’s no where to rest at the moment

“It’s just controllin to keep em in there.”

No doubt about it he’s one of the greatest trainers you’ve ever seen

Him being pretty helps too ig

“A-and he just stole from my mansion—!” The exasperated man shouted at you. “Aren’t you trainers worth any good? Use your Pokémon to stop him!”

“Yeah yeah old man, I got you!” You lazily scanned the area and went around the back of the mansion.

Everything’s normal so far until you see a large picture on the porcelain white walls of the mansion.

There was a large “mural” in black, dark blue, and red. In huge letters it wrote: PUNK-MON WINS! Noticing that the thief was still finishing the painting you turned the corner and walked towards him. He had a mask on and held a spray can in his hand.

“Yo—!”

“Ki-ki-ki-kyu!!!” You felt something slash at your leg, causing you to crash to the ground.

“What on earth is that?! Your scary Pokémon just bit me or something!”

The tall boy picked it up. Speaking of which, what was that thing? It looked like a wannabe Pikachu with spikes attached on it’s head. “Good little Mimikyu, beatin’ up stalkers whereva you see ‘em.”

“Stalkers? Huh—hey you mean me! I’m not a stalker!”

He helped you up. “You betta not be a copper.”

You glared at him. How are you gonna trip someone and then accuse them of trying to arrest you? Who is this loser?

He removed his mask.

Suddenly you’re not mad anymore.

“Aha, um… I see we got off on the wrong foot.” You batted your eyes. “Emphasis on foot… what is that thing?”

“This TING!!! Is my baby. My punk bunny. Mimikyu say hi!” The little creature garbled and babbled away.

“Was that ‘hi’ or possessed screeches?”

“Ion even know m’self to be honest.” He looked a little disturbed by Mimikyu, but then smiled. “My name’s Obie Brown, and I’m the number one criminal of rich-heads like this around town.”

“Very cool Hobie Brown. Only problem is that rich-head thinks Pokémon are the cause of all this vandalism and he’s trying to take down all the gyms in this area.”

“Oh!”

“Oh.”

“Right then. WE’RE GOIN TA KILL A RICH GUY!”

“Ki-kyu-ki-ki-ki-kyu!” Mimikyu excitedly garbled.

“WE’RE GOING TO WHAT?! HEY WAIT I WANNA JOIN IN!”

You couldn’t believe you were robbing the house of guy you promised to help. At least it’s not like he needs said money anyway—he has a whole nother vault on a separate island. The goal was to strip the old man of everything he owned in this mansion.

You wedged the metal bar Hobie had lended you inti the crack of the safe’s opening. “Darn. [Poke!Name], a little help here?”

Your Pokémon croaked a little noise and threw an attack at the metal door, which surprisingly made a big enough dent to pull at.

The doors hinges dropped and inside revealed a tomb of gold and stacks of money. Including golden Pokéballs.

“Woah…”

Alright! No more marveling. Here was the hard part of the mission—getting all of the things into the cheap school bags you had stolen bought and throwing them out the window.

Needless to say, it was a rather taxing job. You were constantly on your toes watching out for a stray maid or butler to come in.

“Okay! [Poke!Name], we’re finished. And no thanks to you… You’re lucky I love you.” The moment you slightly pushed the vault door open an alarm blasted. You winced as the painful ringing echoed in your ears. “It must’ve not been triggered when we blasted through it, but opening it does.”

You managed to hurl some bags at the window. But your own escape was more difficult—and you could heart the rapid footsteps coming down the hall.

“Darn—!”

“DOWN HEYAH!”

That familiar British voice! You stuck your head at the window and saw Hobie with outstretched arms.

“JUMP DOWN! I’LL CATCH YA!”

“ARE YOU COOCOO FOR COCOPUFFS?”

“TRUST!”

You anxiously rubbed your arms as you heard the servants working on the entrance door. Who would win: your fear of heights or your fear of jail?

“Open up!”

Darn, darn, darn, darn—

Your Pokémon pushed you out the window. WHAT?

You were falling—you were falling—you were going to meet your death—

“Ya not fallin anymore you damsel in distress.”

You blushed out of embarrassment and got out of Hobie’s arms. “Ahem, thank you.”

He suddenly grabbed your hand tightly and started running away from the mansion. “So, what’s the name? I never caught it!”

You sighed. You really got yourself into some sort of mess. “[Name]. Your new partner in crime.”

“That’s the spirit!”

“I WAS BEING SARCASTIC.”

#hobie brown x reader #spider punk x reader #hobie brown x you #hobie brown x y/n #hobie brown x gn!reader #hobie brown x gender neutral reader #astv x reader

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sun-stricken · 4 months

Note

Man I am so happy I found your blog. Like it’s so refreshing to see a gray blog about, well, GRAY. Anyways id love to hear some more of your headcanons about gray, maybe ones on his demon slayer traits as well. If that’s ok with of course😅.

if u like my blog u should see my notes app, its almost embarrassing how full of him it is

i struggled with this ngl, single character (even when its ur fav) hc list r weirdly difficult for me

BUT I DID IT SO ENJOY!

Grays has a scarily good memory, he can see something once and be able to recall it in almost perfect detail even years later

amazing for molding, horrible for embarrassing or traumatic memories though

If someone needs something done, they go to him

He has a lot of people that owe him favors on standby, and no he will not say how those favor came to exist

he has a patch of natural white hair in his bangs, he got it from his mothers side

He has a brown cat named Catnip

shes his pride and joy

he has boxes full of letters, notes, and cards people have given him since joining Fairy Tail.

He’s really good at talking himself out of situations, as someone else said, hes a bit of a diplomat

if theres a fight or job that requires no magic hes one of the best for it

Some call it gaslighting, i call it being a lawyer in another life

Grays like, terrifyingly smart, he knows what to say, when to say it, and how

if other guilds/maybe the council did scouting, hes at the top of the list

nobody wants him as an enemy

ESPECIALLY after he got his devil slayer magic

speaking of

devil slayers are the embodiment of cute aggression

he gets the random urge to bite people

theres an 80% chance that he’ll try to head-bunt people now

if he gets too happy he’ll try to throw smth

he has ‘fangs’, really sharp canines and he probably has a self-induced tongue piercing from how many times he bit his tongue from them

the tips of his fingers are black, whether thats a demon slayer trait, or a product of having two ice magics, which makes him work in prime frostbite temperatures, is unknown, they just are

Gray collects siblings the way Natsu collects father figures

He also has a larger male following than Erza, but its okay bc she has a higher female following than him :)

he wears eyeliner. i just. i need to say it.

i want to add smth thats in every fairy tail au i make but never explicitly stated

hes deaf, he was born hoh but its gotten worse over the years, especially after Deloria

he has lacrima hearing aids and will turn them off if someone is being particularly annoying and he just isnt in the mood

he stress cooks and has gotten pretty good at it

he has a recipe book full of Isvan style foods and those are his favorite to make

He realized hes lived in Magnolia longer than he ever lived in Isvan and it tore him apart

When he writes things down, its a mix of Fioren and Islavic/Isvani writing

when he gets tired or really stressed he speaks his native language without realizing

hes a secret theater kid

hes the type to hear a song and lie on the floor for a couple hours

he tries to say he doesnt, but my god does he live off drama

he flirts when hes nervous bc its a very fun image to me

a weird amount of ppl hes dated/friends with were his enemy/rival in a sense

THATS ALL TY FOR THE ASK SORRY ITS KINDA SHORT AND ALL OVER THE PLACE

#fairy tail #sun stricken answers #gray fullbuster #sun strickens ft #fairy tail headcanons #gray fullbuster centric #gray fullbuster headcanons #love him #catnip the cat is very near and dear to my heart

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sejanusxcoriyo · 3 months

Text

Pairings: Josh Andres Rivera x Fem!Actress!reader/ Tom Blyth x Rachel Zegler

Face Claim: Coco Jones

Type: Social Media AU

Summary: Josh finally puts an end to this, or does he?

Warnings: Cussing, let me know if i forgot any

A/N: This should be the last part, anything else created will just be short AU blurbs <3

Text messages with Josh

Text messages with Rachel

Joshandresrivera has posted a story

Ynuser

Ynuser My lover, my everything, the apple of my eye. The 26 letters of the alphabet aren't enough letters to express how I feel about you. If I tried to describe my feelings about you, this post would never end. I will always love you and only you❤️🥰

Tagged: joshandresrivera

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Rachelzegler OMG FINALLY!

↪️rachelfan1 wait shes serious???

↪️ynfan1 HARD LAUNCH, I REPEAT HARD LAUNCH

↪️joshynfan1 im so happy for them fr, they both seem like they are glowing

Oliviarodrigo cute couple ig

↪️oliviafan1 yes mother, be the bigger person

↪️oliviafan2 mhm, this is why i stan

↪️ynfan2 please get out her comments, she isnt looking for acknowledgement from you

ynuser liked this comment

↪️ynfan2 MOTHER HAS LIKED MY COMMENT

joshfan1 so are we just gonna ignore the 7th pic? my gurl quite literally marked her mans

↪️joshynfan2 right?? like she wants you bitches to know hes hers

↪️rachelfan2 i love this for her

Joshandresrivera I love you with my whole fucking heart

↪️ynuser I love you so much more than you think

↪️joshynfan2 my parents are so freaking cute

↪️oliviafan3 they are actually cute tg

ynfan3 she looks so happy, like shes absolutely glowing

↪️joshfan2 i know, i was thinking that earlier

rachelfan3 now i know ms rachel and tom know wayyy more about this than they are letting on

↪️ynfan3 mhm, i know them bitches know every fucking thing

↪️rachelzegler i mean you not wrong

Zendaya purr we love to see it, claim your mans <3

↪️ynuser the QUEEN has spoken @/joshandresrivera we can never break up

↪️joshandresrivera like id ever leave you, aka the reason i smile every damn day

↪️joshynfan3 i want a love like theirs

↪️joshfan3 i want someone to look at me the way they look at each other in that 4th pic

↪️rachelfan4 right, a girl could WISH

Joshandresrivera

Joshandresrivera My princess, I'm so sorry for not saying this sooner, but you are my world, and I have no clue how I survived with you this long. My precious, delicate jewel, I will love you until my heart stops. Even then, the heavens cannot tear me from your arms. I love you more than words can tell, my beautiful diamond❤️😘

Tagged: ynuser

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joshfan1 yall look at how he holds her, im desprate

↪️rachelfan1 i was just about to comment that

↪️joshynfan1 pay attention to how he looks at her in that 7th photo

ynuser my man my man my man, i love you <3

↪️joshandresrivera my woman my woman my woman i love you more <3

↪️rachelfan2 just look how they interact with each other

↪️oliviafan1 did you steal her caption?

↪️ynfan1 that bitch tried to break up her relationship, fuck her caption

hunterschafer im jealous, need a man like him

↪️rachelzegler im right here babe?

↪️tomblyth rach...

↪️rachelzegler didnt expect you to see that...ily

↪️hunterschafer i never said i wanted to break anyone up

↪️tomblyth rachel i hear you giggling from under the covers

↪️rachelzegler you'll never catch me!

↪️joshandresrivera @/ynuser these are our kids

↪️ynuser who is we?

↪️tomblyth mom?

↪️ynuser 🙄

joshfan2 love how they intact with each other

↪️ynfan2 right??

joshynfan2 i love them so much, adopt me plz

Oliviarodrigo Josh?

↪️oliviafan1 see shes just tryna set things straight

↪️joshfan3 its giving desperate

↪️ynfan2 not you being desperate for another womans man

↪️rachefan3 oohh i know this is eating you ALIVE

↪️oliviafan2 shut up all, of yall, yall dont know shit

↪️rachelfan4 imagine defending a cheater..couldn't be me

↪️joshfan4 imagine begging for ex under his post abut his girlfriend...couldn't be me

Zendaya its giving desperate

↪️joshynfan3 isnt it

↪️oliviafan3 no one even likes you

↪️zendayafan1 dont speak about mother like that

↪️rachelfan5 not olivias an summoning a whole nother fandom

↪️ynfan3 they about to eat them alive

ynuser my lover boy

↪️joshnadresrivera my princess

#the ballad of songbirds and snakes #tbosas #the hunger games #josh andres rivera #josh hutcherson #tom blyth #rachel zegler #sejanus x reader #sejanus plinth x reader #sejanus plinth #social media au #zendaya #hunter schafer

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nervoustragedyluminary · 1 month

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On cis chasers: (cw discussion of transphobic abuse from chasers)

If you're dating a cis person who seems supportive at first who says all the right things... but who becomes less so as you begin to legally socially or medically transition, or who begins to insult your body or transition or repeatedly says things/"jokes" that make you dysphoric (even after you tell them it hurts you) they are probably a chaser. You deserve better than that and will likely be better off and safer leaving them

Often chasers like other abusers start off with love bombing: they'll tell you everything you want to hear, say all the right words & appear like the ideal ally or like someone genuinely trying, they might even do token actions of support that seem like grand gestures at the time like helping with clothes binders gaffs etc. They may move you in with them or take you on vacation or on lavish dates - you'll feel over the moon and so lucky you'll also start to feel reliant on them or like they're "rescuing" you....

You may in time start to notice a one sided shape to the relationship where they'll expect you to be ready for them at a moments notice and rage if you have other plans but ignore you when you make plans with them and dismiss your hurt at being stood up. They may refuse to go out in public with you or seem hesitant to make things "official" or be seen with you but lash out and guilt you when you try to pull away,.

there will likely be double standards where what is acceptable for them eg seeing other people in an open relationship is suddenly completely unacceptable if you also do it.

Behind all this driving this behaviour is cis supremacy - they see you as inferior to them due to your transness and thus not deserving of the same level of respect they expect to be treated with; they may treat cis partners respectfully or they may also be abusive to them in different ways. If you're in an open or polyam situation they may triangulate you against other partners or try to make it seem as though you're in competition with them or tell them that other partner/s dislike you to discourage communication. If you do communicate with other partners openly they may throw tantrums yell at you or accuse you of cheating or betraying them because they want to be in control of not only your relationship with them but also your relationship/s with other partners and you communicating or interacting directly without them as an intermediary challenges that control

With a chaser often once you start talking about or taking concrete steps towards medical or legal transition they will find ways to discourage you, try to sabotage or stop you from transitioning.

it might be them blatantly telling you that it's disgusting to transition, talking about their love for and attraction to body parts they know make you dysphoric, they might say they won't love you if you do xyz to your body, they might threaten to harm themselves, they might physically touch or hurt you in certain areas or try to sabotage your healing from surgery if you've had it, they may hide letters from Drs and lie about not having received them or call Dr's to cancel your appointments. This is not okay behaviour.

It might be more subtle and manipulative in such a way where they try to make it seem like they're looking out for you or like it's your idea to pause your transition by telling you not to change your gender on your legal papers/ID & exaggerating the risk or disruption of doing it in countries where it isn't a safety risk, they might promise to support you then cancel last minute leaving you in the lurch and blaming you for their refusal to communicate in a timely manner, they might steal money from you or try to get you fired or threaten your housing. None of this is okay.

It's not your fault BTW if this happens to you. Abusive and chasey trans partners also exist and can do these things too but overwhelmingly it's cis chasers who tend to do this shit and leverage their cis privilege to do this sort of violence with little to no consequence for the abuse, often they'll just move onto the next victim.

Note that This is different to a cis partner discovering that they're no longer attracted to you as a trans person because your gender no longer lines up with what they're attracted to:

a non abusive cis partner who is experiencing that may physically withdraw and end the relationship or talk with you about these feelings and the guilt that's usually associated with ending a relationship under these circumstances but it won't be with the tone of trying to use the potential continuation of the relationship to coerce you into desisting in your transition - it'll be more of a trying to figure out where you both stand and how you can move forward conversation and they won't insult you.

This does hurt but it is infinitely more respectful than someone who lies to you about supporting your transition and then tries to sabotage it or hurt you to force you to detransition because they refuse to see you as yourself if they aren't attracted to you or if they enjoy the feeling of power they get from forcibly detransitioning someone or controlling them with dysphoria - a chaser will use dysphoria and transphobia and the threat of violence form them or others to control you-they don't want you to transition and alleviate your dysphoria because then they have less "tools" of controlling you in the relationship & keeping you reliant on them for validation

You don't deserve it and you don't have to endure it - they know what they're doing is wrong and they don't care that it is hurting you. Often they'll brag to others about what they are doing or try to frame it as a kink and appropriate kink terms and be fixated on trans fetish porn misgendering kink or detransition or breeding kink ( note: this is different from consensual gender detransition /forcefem/forcemasc play which some people do consensually and safely indulge in and enjoy - just like how CNC isn't the same as actually wanting to be sexually assaulted )

Please be safe and reach out for help if you're ever in a situation like this.

#Chasers #Transphobia #Abuse #transandrophobia #Transmisogyny #Antitransmasculinity #exorsexism

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poetofthedyingstars · 2 years

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mammon’s love letter | litera scripta manet

note: kind of ooc-ish but not really coz mammon wrote down his feelings remember??? he wrote everything he felt because he can't say it directly and forwardly. so that's that. hmp. ngl went crazy writing this. giggling and almost tearing up and shit. love this guy so much.

warning: slight angst, implied lesson 16 accident, fluff, mammon being open with his feelings. ENJOY READING!!!!

Dearest MC,

Ya have to know that I'm not as good with words as my brothers, unlike Lucifer or Satan or your favorite writers and poets. I ain’t a poet, MC, I’ve never written a love letter in my entire life. I’m just me. I’ve never had anyone like you or felt what I have for ya with anyone else but know that it is the most genuine thing in all three realms. I’m just so scared that eventually you would believe what my brothers say about me. That I’m a lying, cheating, good for nothing scumbag.I know I’m not perfect but I’m trying so hard to be good enough for you. Ya deserve everything nice the world can offer and I don’t know if you can find that with me. I just love ya a little too much and I kinda suck at expressing that.

You drive me crazy, you know that? I want to tell you how much I love you but you make me malfunction so much, I get shy. You’re so annoying. Why’d you have to be so perfect anyways?! Your smile is perfect, your laugh is perfect, you’re perfect and everybody loves you. You just have to make everybody else fall for you and THAT scares me. It horrifies me, MC. What if you realize that they can offer you a better life? With a pool of choices that have my brothers, Lucifer especially, Lord Diavolo, Solomon and an angel like Simeon, would you still see me and choose me? (erased: I could only hope ya do, I’m your first man after all!)

You know that one poem you read to me the other day? About the one baring your soul naked and being scared of being loved and all? I want you to see me tough, someone who could protect you, someone you could count on and someone who can love you unconditionally. I already lost ya once, I wouldn't be able to bear it again if I lost you. I have no idea how you see me, you’ve a very unique way of looking at things but if I tell you that my soul is rotten, would you still love me? I’m a demon after all and there are some things I won’t be able to change. Will you put up with my bullshits? Stupid schemes and all that?

I’m trying my best to be better for you. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for ya so just ask me, come to me for comfort, when you’re having your nightmares, when you need help with your homework - I may not be the best at it but it’s important for me that you know that I’m always there for you.

I love you, MC, more than words can contain and there’s no one else in this world I’d rather be with forever. You’re all I need. The greatest treasure in Devildom, Human World and the Celestial Realm. You.

Fuck you for making me love you too much. You made The Great Mammon sweep off their feet so don’t go looking at anyone else anymore, just me. I love you.

Yours, always and forever,

Mammon.

reblogs are more than appreciated, please do. comment are welcome as well so please leave some. also i know i said mammon wrote a three-page love letter but this is kinda short so i'm sorry xD just feel the rest of the letter ok?

[id: three photos aligned with each other, the first one with two ginger cats facing each other, the other leaning in for a kiss, the second photo is mammon from obey me who looks sexy, the third photo is a bunch of flowers scattered in an opened book's page. the last photo is a cropped photo with the text: “darling” in it. /end id.]

masterlist

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leoxpark · 29 days

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( CHARLES MELTON, CIS MALE, HE/HIM ) LEO PARK the THIRTY YEAR OLD year old is known as THE DELINQUENT within the group. they are known to be HYPERACTIVE and CLUELESS which makes sense when you think about how HIS DAD DISOWNED HIM but i guess we’ll find out for ourselves. { DANI, 27, GMT, SHE/HER. }

Full Name: Leo Park-Taylor

Nickname: n/a

Age: 30

DOB: October 31st 1993

Parents: Ronald Taylor & Yeona Park

Siblings: n/a

Hair colour: Black

Eye colour: Brown

Piercings & Tattoos: here

Sexuality: Heterosexual

LINKS

character playlist

connections

BIOGRAPHY

tw: n/a

Leo was born to Ronald and Yeona. He has never been the sharpest tool in the shed and that was clear from early years. He was slow to start walking, talking, you name it and he was last.

He wasn't the greatest academically and he was never even the greatest at sports but he tried his best there at least. He made it on the teams even if it meant some guys he was warming up the bench in his earlier years.. later on in school he actually did improve which shocked a few people.

He had no intentions of going to college but told his dad he was, he didn't realise he had to pay so when his dad confronted him on why he could never get a straight answer on where he was going or why he hadn't made any payments he eventually had to confess.

He is constantly up to no good and with that comes his many arrests for dumb things from even a young age like vandalism, fake ID's, underage drinking, stealing, fighting, breaking and entering, trespassing, drugs, you name it he's done it and been caught doing it. Of course his dad bailed him out each time.

Leo is a straight up party animal so his version of attending college was just going to all the parties with his friends.

With no job Leo doesn't exactly have much to do so he's waiting around on his friends being free, sleeping in all day, gaming and partying at night.

His dad was getting sick and tired of his son being a slob and a leach so when Leo called him up with his free phone call yet again, this time though for drink driving his dad refused to bail him out because he thought he finally needed to be taught a lesson. Leo served 6 months in prison for driving under the influence and is now fresh outta jail ready to continue his life and yet again party! Just in time for the Lake House!

HEADCANONS

He goes by Leo Park because he thinks Leo Park-Taylor is too long

He once serenaded a girl in school by standing on the table in the cafeteria and singing "Just a Dream" by Nelly

Leo was obsessed with the Step Up movies to the point he learned a lot of the routines and aimed to be like Moose

He doesn't like big words because he can't say them or understand them

Leo is actually a big softie and loving

Once broke up with someone by texting them lyrics to 'Gotta Go My Own Way'

Has to sing his alphabet to figure out letters to order things

Up until his teens he truly believed everyone was celebrating his birthday but it was literally just halloween

His celebrity crush is Alexandra Daddario and Vanessa Hudgens

#lake:intro

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vexxandra · 1 year

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intuitive messages from your person (really specific so probably not gonna resonate lol)

first time doing this! a bit of practice, since im not good with listening to my intuition. but were trying new things this new year. lool lets get started :D

m tellin u its like super SUPER specific ;D

pile one:

things that could have significance : genshin, but more specifically, wishing, debate clubs, when you wish upon a star, steven universe end credits (love like you), lavender or mint, milk, the name sofia?, sweaters or oversized clothes, telephone (the song or the object), dial/tone, closet

hello dear. have i been away for too long? apologies, work is very hard nowadays and i find that ive been losing myself more and more. but ive been thinking about you quite a lot. especially at night. dreaming of you. ive been irresponsable, not answering your calls quickly enough and leaving things to pile up between the two of us. but please know that im working very hard and trying the best i can. you must be furious with me, and i can understand that. give me more time, and i promise i wont let you down. id never let you down. i love you too much to ever be able to do that. ive been losing sleep, and thats tiring because i get to see you when i sleep so i find that ive been taking meds more often to help with that. thats stupid, and id know you tell me the same. god, i wish you were next to me right now. then id fall asleep quicker than a light flicks off. music. ill speak to you through our favorite songs, and ill listen for things you say to me in yours as well. its time for me to say good bye though. know that nothing has changed between us, and i care for you as much as ever before.

signed, yours.

pile two:

things that could have significance: grocery stores at night, denki kaminari vibes honestly!!, mixtapes (like old cassette ones), guitar, dog or pets, crescent, artic monkeys, blasting music super loud, summertime, you get me so high - the neighbourhood, electric (or electric love)

gee, its really been a while since we’ve talked last. you’re my best friend, ill love you forever, yknow that? you’re super cool. cooler than popsicles on a summer day. cooler than penguins in the north pole. wait-- penguins live in the south pole? no one told me that?! hey! its not my fault, i never knew that. jeez... still teasing as ever, huh? sometimes i wonder how it would have been if i hadn’t moved away/transferred schools. we’d be tightknit! and we already are. there are so many stupid pictures of us in my camera roll that i jsut scroll through them when i feel like i miss you. nahh im just playing! i always miss you! we should totally hang out sometime soon! lets race grocery carts!

see ya! - your best friend

pile three:

things that could have significance: notebooks, preppy or academia aesthetic, fandom or into dnd, pearls or pearly whites, ‘shade’ colors (white, grey, black-- but emphasis on grey), 505 by artic monkeys, classroom, bunch of school imagery

dear you

why do you have to be so perfect? ive always been top of my class, such an overachiever, but with you, its like all of my accomplishments are suddenly fade away. you’re awesome like that, you know. stop letting your parents control your life. you’re a super smart person, dont let anyone EVER tell you otherwise. oh, and you can let your hair down too. im not gonna judge you, and plus, i think you look nice without your hair all tight like that. meet me at our spot. the spot that’s only ours. a place where we can just be ourselves. what? stop playing around, trying to get me to tell you again. what if someone sees this letter?! its just something between you and me, and i know i can trust you. id trust you with my life, pile three. im serious. stay the way you are. dont become a product of society. you’re absolutely perfect the way you are.

from, yours

pile four TW: Harsh truth! Please don’t read unless you’re ready and willing

things that could have significance: floating, or sinking(into a mattress, or in water), bath/bathing, milky way or space in general, being loved by a ghost, anxiety/confusion, salt or minerals. lots of comparisons here, so that could be something too. also francis forever - mitski and last words of a shooting star -mitski

this person didn’t have a letter to write to you. they were very blocky and choppy and took long pauses in between of answering. also, these are just sentences, so everytime there’s a period, its a sentence ending, and a new idea beginning

i dont need you. i have everything i need. so why are you here? what am i missing? what do i not understand? stop getting into my head. ive been thinking of you. you look nice. (dont) call me. please trust me, i can keep my promises. that, i can swear. bandaids cant heal my scars. sometimes i just want to fall asleep for a long time, and you cant stop or save me. they mean more to me than you. forever. i still care about you. they lied. im getting bored. you used to be the sun. what dont you understand? i still loved you. goodbye. (bonus message: they wont last)

#pac #intuitive messages #pick a pile #tarot #tarot messages #psychic messages #i really dont know if this will resonate #hopefully it does!#have a lovely day #or night #either way #dont lose ur light <3

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emotionsandphenomena · 2 months

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okay I made this post last week but it didn't save to drafts tragically. it's time to talk about Obsessive Guy Eroticism.

it's a pretty pervasive element of the romance novels I have sampled, the man being obsessed with his love interest, often long before she admits interest (even to herself), and sometimes to an intensity level we are not fully privy to - especially in Ali's case, where she has only recently started dabbling in dual POV. if we're not inside his head, we're not going to see how crazy he's going for her. but as genre-aware readers, we can often pick it up from the woman's narration, even when she's dismissing it. that's what we're going to look at today, with Levi and Bee from love on the brain.

for some overview - Levi and Bee knew each other several years ago in grad school, and are now working together again on a project. Levi was in love with her at the time and still is; she believed he hated her and is now gradually warming to him.

here, Levi is remembering, to the letter, something that bee said at least five years ago, and likely not to him. normal! at this point in the narrative we don't know Levi's specific feelings for her, but again, we are genre aware readers. we know. bee is able to remain blissfully ignorant, while we get the titillation of obliquely acknowledging his crush.

again, same thing. Levi is Noticing Things King, and bee finds a way to brush it off. I think for the reader, this is a really good way to give into the pleasure of being seen and understood without having to face it head on. it's exciting to think about a guy who has memorized every aspect of you, right? well, it is if he's built and 6'4 and sensitive and smart and you're in his car and it's almost nighttime and he wants you to come over to his house because you lost your keys and actually you don't really know this guy that well and. um. is it exciting? or could it be a little bit scary? hold on, gotta make a pit stop and address this:

okay! no, no worries everyone, the guy who's obsessed with you isn't creepy. we feel a pervasive and inexplicable sense of safety around him, it's all good. more than that, he is very concerned about the possibility of seeming creepy. this is such a fascinating choice to me. for a book that is very much about the realities of sexism in the workplace (featuring explicitly gendered violence), it makes sense to address this head-on. personally I would say this passage is not really getting into why bee feels safe around Levi specifically, but in the book at large id say there's two reasons. watsonian: at this point in the novel, Levi has physically saved bee multiple times (from fainting+cemetery entrapment) and defended her in workplace settings. he's proven himself to be A Good One, altho in my opinion that doesn't necessarily lessen the threat of being alone at night (!) with a man you don't know that well (!) in his house (!!!). but then there's our doylist explanation: Ali writes soulmates, emphasis on the mate. it doesn't enter the narrative explicitly until her fourth adult novel (love on the brain is her second), but it's all over her fanfic and her most influential texts (twilight, psy-changeling). our main pair are drawn together, instantly attracted, obsessed with each others' scent, etc etc. that's not, as the Goodreads reviewers often allege, lazy writing. it's the point. the fantasy is a man who is not only Erotically Obsessed with her, he can't help it. and neither can she, and that's okay, because she feels safe around him. in order for this fantasy to work for someone who does not already have this specific fantasy, I think conversations like this are necessary - we have to be reassured that he's not, like, scary. in her view or ours. no 🚩🚩🚩 to be seen.

so they're soulmates, even though we're not going to acknowledge that on page (in this book). but I do like the button of this scene, in which we get some groundwork laid for the reversal of the dynamic. "he fell first, she fell harder" does not really apply for most Ali pairings, but I like that bee here is laying out for us the ways in which she will be falling for Levi once she realizes hes not married/doesnt hate her/etc.

in conclusion, I like my Obsessive Eroticism guys from Ali a lot, although I do often find them to be grating in other romance novels. often they don't walk this line finely enough, and the paternalism gets on my nerves, largely bc it's written like it's a normal way to be. I appreciate that ali's guys are freaks and they know they're freaks, and they hate themselves for it. crushed and broken just the way women like em etc etc. but that's a different post I'll save for when not in love is actually out.

#AHU #i dont think it's really relevant to the post but i do love levi soooo much. hes my favorite one besides nolan. my guy down atrocious

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tibby · 1 year

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hi i know you like to talk about chainshipping and lawrence (saw), ive gained so much more appreciation for him and adam because of it. i think youre really smart and i love seeing you dig into this content. i wanted to know if you have anything to say about hoffman’s lore/development/etc? his relationship with john, his relationship with the other two apprentices, anything to say about hoffstrahm? id love to hear it all

sure! i’m glad you enjoy my lawrence/adam/chainshipping thoughts, and i will admit that i’m far more fond of them than i am of hoffman, so i’ve spent a lot more time thinking about them than him. so my thoughts i less coherent and this may reflect that, so apologies!

i think with hoffman, there are two very big things to take into account with his character (three if you count his tits): he’s a bad person. and the films did a bad job with him. my friend kief did a good job with exploring some of the narrative failures here, particularly in regards to hoffman in the final chapter. he cares way more about hoffman than i do, so i suggest checking that out.

anyway. i think saw v does a very good job of establishing hoffman's character, and it’s something that the later two films drop the ball on. i don’t think we get enough of him in iv to make much judgements there, outside of knowing that he….exists and is an apprentice. v is really the movie where we get to learn anything about him, and i think the movie does a good job of laying the groundwork for the narrative of this guy with a tragic backstory who initially performs iin justified ways, before going off the rails entirely.

there’s a lot to be said about hoffman later in his arc (most of it not good), we’re meant to believe that it’s his sister’s death that breaks him. and i’ve always thought that it makes sense that it breaks him. i can’t imagine how i’d respond if someone i loved was murdered and then their killer got away with a little more than a slap on the wrist. and this isn’t even taking into account that it’s quite possible he basically raised angelina - she’s 25 when she dies, and hoffman is in his early 40s when he gets recruited by john 5+ years later. there’s at least a decade between them, and john’s comment of “she was your only family” + the different surnames suggests a….complicated at best family situation.

so hoffman’s sister is murdered, her killer walks free after five years, he develops a drinking problem, loses faith in the system he built his career upon (which. the justice system being a corrupt failure isn’t news to a lot of people, but that’s clearly not an intended part of the movie’s narrative, so.) the jigsaw case presents him with the opportunity to kill seth baxter, and he gets away with it. but his response to the act and his paranoia in the aftermath (made worse by john’s letter) suggests that it wasn’t something he *enjoyed.* killing seth doesn’t bring back angelina, and it just makes him a murderer.

and then he ends up under the control of john. john, who has a talent for preying on the apprentices for their perceived failures, punishing them for it, and then putting them in situations that exacerbate their faults. john views hoffman as a violent killer for what he did to seth, and his response? take hoffman under his wing as his murder and torture apprentice. and it’s this where hoffman’s love of violence, thrill of playing god, and distaste for the lives of others really begins, and it escalates very quickly.

hoffman starts to love violence and the ability to punish those that he views as “undeserving.” and while some of his victims deserve what they get (ivan, the nazis from 3d), he’s not just punishing bad people. he wants power, and he wants control, and he’ll take down anyone that is in his way. strahm, perez, john, jill, amanda - they’re either undeserving or they don’t learn, and they all threaten his position, so they have to go.

what’s interesting about hoffman to me is that there’s enough there to do varied interpretations of him had someone interfered before he went over the brink. by my own admittance, jigsquad hoffman is notably largely different to canon hoffman - and a majority of that is based in adam being there and pointing out that. well. hey. what john is doing to you is bad. don’t lose your humanity to this man. and therefore changing the narrative. adam (unknowingly) stops hoffman from losing his mind to blood and violence entirely, and also ends up shifting his perspective on certain people and things (namely amanda). i know a few au interpretations see amanda fulfilling the angelina role in hoffman’s life, and it’s something that i think can be done well for both characters in certain situations.

HOWEVER. that kind of stuff only works within an au. strictly operating within canon, if hoffman compares amanda to angie at all, it’s not in a positive light. he doesn’t think highly of amanda and views her as someone who doesn’t appreciate her life due to her struggles with drugs and mental illness, and decides she deserves to die in the most painful way possible for it. to him, amanda is a worthless junkie who is wasting her life when his own sister is dead. his grief does not excuse his misogyny and his ableism and his violence and his love of power.

so. when it comes to his relationship with the others involved in team jigsaw, they’re not good. he hates john for blackmailing and controling him. he thinks very poorly of amanda, to the point he decides she should die for it. he hates jill for playing the game better than him, and kills her for it (with a heaping of the misogyny that 3d is riddled with). it’s not really possible to view his relationship with lawrence in canon, mainly because there’s nothing really there. given his response to the lawrence reveal, i think it’s safe to assume hoffman never knew he was an apprentice at all. so that’s that.

as for hoffstrahm….never has there ever been a more fitting description of “this person is my mirror and i loathe them for it.” while strahm adamantly refuses to acknowledge their similarities because he won’t confront what that says about him, hoffman is fully aware and he sees strahm as either: his perfect ally, or his greatest enemy. hoffman gives strahm chances to join him, or at least *understand* him: he only gets water cubed because he doesn’t just stay in the fucking room, both he and perez follow the steps of rigg’s failed recruitment, and the glass coffin. unlike most of the other people hoffman kills, strahm dies because he refuses to *listen* and play by the rules. he didn’t want to understand hoffman and their two sides of the same coin dynamic, so he gets killed for it. @romanromulus once said something about saw v being a story about the death of hoffman’s humanity, and his relationship with strahm being his last attempt to hold onto it:

(screenshot courtesy of my beloved kiefer)

so. hoffman goes from someone grieving and struggling with addiction to a remorseless, brutal killer who loses touch with his humanity. it’s an interesting story, and one i think v sets up quite well. unfortunately i don’t think vi or vii follow up on it very well, and it feels like they traded in a potentially compelling arc to having this Badass Character. which is a shame, because i think as awful as hoffman is, they could have done a lot more than him. we all joke about him being stupid and he absolutely has his moments, but he does occasionally play the game well. he’s deeply out of touch with his own emotions but able to understand others and anticipate their next moves, and he was able to construct the pendulum by himself. one of hoffman’s biggest problems (not including his personality) is the fact that even though he’s good at putting plans into motion, he doesn’t know what to do when things don’t go his way. vi is the perfect example of this: his plan to frame strahm quickly falls apart, and he responds by….setting fire to a police station and doing what he was told didn’t work earlier? stupidity, and just irrational, panicked behaviour.

anyway! all this to say is that hoffman objectively sucks, but there was a good story there, he’s someone with limitless au potential, and the films could have done his story a lot better. and boy. are his tits fat.

#ask #anonymous #sawposting #mark hoffman #meta #idk if this makes any sense but. hey.

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