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#i've seen so many skaters on this site
dansnaturepictures · 9 months
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7th July 2023: Lakeside Country Park and home
Spider and insect photos taken in this set are of: 1. A big spider in the living room last night. 2, 7 and 8. Six-spot Burnet moths at Lakeside at lunch time, great to see so many today. 3 and 9. Meadow Brown, a butterfly I saw so many of at lunch time and this was a great close settled view. 4. Brimstone, a dazzling butterfly I enjoyed seeing today. 5. Dock bug and Common Red Soldier beetle on wild carrot, only the second Dock bug I've ever seen a fascinating insect. 6. A Brown Argus in the eastern meadows at lunch time, a gem to see, the first I've seen in this part of the meadows the bit I nickname Marbled White meadow this year. A butterfly I love seeing and have had a great year for here with the one in the bowl area earlier on.
Other highlights in the wealth of butterflies it was wonderful to see on such a hot and sunny day at Lakeside were Marbled White, dainty Small Skippers, Ringlet, Meadow Brown, Speckled Wood, a fair few Small White and notably a lot of Red Admirals which was fantastic to see as their vibrant colours, my favourite colour combination red and black, flitted past me. I was thrilled to see Purple Hairstreaks along the northern path this evening again too. I would say my big four butterflies for Lakeside are Purple Hairstreak and Brown Argus (probably the two highest calibre/rarest butterfly species that I've seen more than once at this urban multi use site), alongside Marbled White and Small Skipper as I would say it's the best place I know for both. And Ringlet could be added to make it a big five for similar reasons. This might be the first time I've seen all in a day which is great. Common Blue Damselfly, Emperor and Black-tailed Skimmer were dragon/damselfly species I got great views of. I was pleased to see pond skaters at Lakeside and bees on the in bloom lavender in the front garden.
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we-are-threadmage · 6 years
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I've seen you post some really awesome stuff for a long while now, and maybe you can help me out. I have a friend who is a plus sized lady who needs 4x and 5x clothes. She loves dresses, nerdy stuff, and the hipster/ punk/ rockabilly style of clothes. She used to shop at Torrid and Hot Topic but she no longer fits their sizes. Do you know of, or can you find with your thready magical powers, a site or 9 where she can get her clothes? I hate seeing her so down because her wardrobe is ill fitting.
First, thanks so much for being such a good friend and proactively trying to help: finding out that someone went and did research or sought expertise on an issue you’re burdened with gives a warm feeling I can hardly explain (speaking as a disabled chronically ill person).
Second, I’m absolutely not an expert partly because I have the luxury of not having to deal with this- I may have trouble getting to the store and shopping without making myself ill but I can just walk into any store I want and find something that vaguely caters to my body size.
I therefore tried to reach out to my friends who do struggle to find clothes more than I do as well as doing research (of course I’m going to try and help!) but I just want that context clear.
I’ve accumulated linked suggestions, related posts, and general tips and they’re all also tagged “Plus size ask”.
Your friend is facing a mountain of unfair issues; to a great extent she has no choice but to spend more time looking, more money, more time failing, more money, and also in other ways more money, just to clothe her body at all let alone do so how she wants (to say nothing of how little choice she has in doing so given that if she doesn’t the nastiness increases exponentially).
Depending on how she feels, it may help her to know that her body size is just like my disability: we have essentially no control over it and it’s not wrong - it’s the context of our society refusing to acknowledge, respect and integrate us that makes it a problem.
And/or she’s like, yeah, no, I know and all but I need to not be naked so like get to the useful stuff, lady!
Most of the go-to plus size options me friends mentioned are the ones she’s sized out of; she’s running into the next ‘subdivision’ of access in that it’s a bit better than it used to be for people up to 2 or 3x but anything past that is almost invisible. The farther you go to the edge of any demographic bell curve the harder it is.
My very tall and large friendo did mention that she mostly found clothing by happening to befriend her cadre of trans ladies as they had similar issues to her when it came to clothing options; your friend may also find a significant overlap with the queer community that may or may not help them.
Places I personally checked:
Modcloth- up to 4x-specific plus size section, decent range of styles and types of clothing, inherently more expensive ranging from moderate to very much money, often have detailed reviews which helps one find good investment pieces or fit, personally I’ve had good luck with the support staff for advice, only to 4x not higher that I could see
Fat Owl Fashion- variably to 4x- very new queer, disabled company, selection therefore limited but they are also committed to each new piece being available to anyone and everyone, I suspect they will be very responsive to customers (especially loyal ones) so it’s one to support/watch
Rainbow Shops- variably up to 4x- specific plus size section with intensive filtering options, significantly cheaper (both in price and apparent construction quality), wide style range, wide clothing type range, struck me as a ‘fast fashion’ style store in that things likely change frequently and may sell out quickly although there is always a clearance section
Fat Girl Flow.com- variably up to 5, 6x- entirely geared towards the plus size shopper but with new and therefore limited stock (likely to expand), more than anything this is a blog and a resource goldmine for other resources by someone with actual expertise and worth trawling and following for tips, reviews, special interest articles like budget or swimwear, etc.
Killstar- up to 4x- specific (newish?) plus size section, very much a goth site so certain pieces might help her inject a nice edge or it’s a wash for her depending on her style, only up to 4x not higher that I could see
Chubby Cartwheels- up to 5x- entirely geared towards the plus size shopper, an independent designer out of her home so pros include unique/interesting style and customer attention ( ie “Custom sizing on skater dresses and bodysuits are free, so please don't hesitate to ask!”) cons being limited options/ runs at any given time, medium price point
NerdyKeppie on Etsy- up to 5x- nerdy, queer, disabled independent designer (and cool person if you wanna follow on tumblr at vaspider, Em’s gotten a number of things from them, some custom), dedicated to high quality, durable, ethical, and affordable to the community (a tall combined task, ye?), this means nothing is cheap ($) but also nothing is... cheap(shoddy), it’s also worth noting that they are happy to do custom orders (no extra charge) they just can’t spend the money on permanent listings so you just have to ask (I’m guessing if you require actual extra hours to draw a new image you would accordingly pay for that work but not to just put an existing image on a different shirt style, etc)
On the topic of etsy artisans I suspect there’s lots of others somewhere in there- finding them being the rub. I think it could be time well spent in that she might well find a small handful of designers who really speak to her and are worth being loyal to. If she has to spend more money, it may as well come with better customer service, unique designs, some assurance of quality, and supporting an artist. I think over time a sort of ‘stable’ of independent people she checks on will yield better investment pieces and, eventually, a piece of mind and return of the delight of shopping.
Similarly, I think her best bet is seeking the expertise of people who live this more than me- even if they can shop up to 3x, say, they will still be more likely to know the 5x options out there as well as have strategies on stretching a budget and wardrobe, etc. I recommend she check out plus size beauty/fashion vloggers as listed on this post (Nabela Noor is another). Again I’ve not gone through their work but only she can know what speaks to her (and might find it affirming and fun?)
I found one compilation list post here; I’d recommend either pre-screening for her or being prepared for a high fail rate simply because much of it doesn’t match what I saw and she’s experienced. My guess is it’s old (only a year but) and plus size availability is as inconsistent and ephemeral as gluten free stocks- you pray, dance, and sacrifice a goat plushie each time you go.
I think she’ll go the least crazy if she accumulates a bookmark folder of experts, blogs (like fff.com above), and artists that she can therefore peruse periodically and regularly. That way she has the breathing room to really pick and choose investment pieces, snap up great limited runs or deals, and generally minimize constantly being stuck with mediocre/good enough/ sale-bin-for-a-reason options while glaring at ‘sold out’ stickers mournfully. There’s just so many things limiting availability so I think the regular browse rather than only going ‘as needed’ will serve her better (the way things work at thrift stores or TJmaxx -type places for instance).
My last and either best or worst suggestion depending on her life is that she consider learning to sew. Many of the designers listed started out where she is and just threw up their hands and started making what they couldn’t find. There’s obviously the issue that it will pay off only after the time and money of learning and one-time equipment but with a decent sewing machine you can actually go quite far with a small handful of easy techniques. It only gets crazy when you’re into engineering complicated things like formal gowns, but once you have a couple patterns you like for basics you can make them over and over with endless fabrics or tweaks (one pattern may contain a few neckline and sleeve options for a dress, say, which you can also chop into two so it’s really multipurpose). These days there’s a vibrant maker community online and in person so you can teach yourself almost anything. 
It may be an expensive hassle she doesn’t want to deal with (and while you can get great budget fabric oh boy can you get in trouble :wiggles fingers in imaginary heavy plush weights:). But it might be something empowering that she can do and learn and take control of, so it was worth mentioning.
{Oh my gods I just looked up and saw how long this is, cool cool cool. One final note Chubby Cartwheels happened to incidentally come on my dash while I worked on this, so you will find that post in this ask tag too.}
Thanks again, and best of luck to your friend and her most excellent body in an un-excellent world!
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