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#i've met a LOT of people... i've travelled a lot
rendezvouz-fling · 1 day
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Astro rants #9
So, why does no one tell you that the placements on your SR chart are how you act like that year?💀 Becauseee, I had Libra moon/rising last year and developed a love for Fashion and models and self care and all kinds of things😭. The chart ruler was Venus in Aries and my emotions were on an all time high. Literally. I felt like I had to put on this nice facade and please others for them to like me and I was also very cordial and understanding yet when I'd go off when no one was around.😭😂. I also gained a love for working out so I know that was the Aries venus for sure.
Now this year, I have rising in Sag and a stellium in Aqua (moon/venus/mars) and I don't really care for others' opinions or approvals and I've had somewhat of an ego boost and just feel more optimistic too. I wanna go out more to "explore" yet sometimes I just wanna stay home and not socialize?🥲 Pls tell me somebody else relates to their SR placements too. 😭
I've also moved this year and can't stop itching to go travel again. Watching travel vlogs and wanting to do more radical stuff.😭.
Alsooo. Has anyone noticed that you tend to "discover" or listen to artists with the same sign as your SR's asc? Last year I had Libra rising in my SR chart and discovered Brenda K Starr (Libra sun), I also listed to Mya (Libra sun) a lot last year. This year I have Sag rising in my SR chart and have been listening to Billy Idol (Sag sun), Stacy Lattisaw (Sag sun), Billy Squire (Sag rising).
I also happened to notice that you make friends with people who's placements are in the same sign as your SR chart's 6H. E.g. In 2017 when I met my best friend I had Libra & Scorpio fall in my SR chart's 6H and She's a Scorpio sun with a Libra rising, venus and mercury.
In 2022 I met another one of my close friends who's a Cap sun & mercury and guess which signs fell over SR chart's 6H? Cap & Sag!!!
Anywho, that's all for now.🙃
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beeholyshit · 2 months
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I don't have anything finished for valentine's day but I wanna share this beautiful commission I got from my mutual a long time ago 🩷
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silentstar · 2 months
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I just realised that I made a bunch of sad personal posts ages back lamenting about how I had a really hard time in education and felt left behind - but I don't think I posted that I actually made it into uni and I'm studying illustration right now!
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tbh-entp · 6 months
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one would think that i just hang out in front of hospitals..
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imabitofa · 1 year
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Okay I get it's end of year tradition to act like the world ended but actually I've had a really good year, anyone else?
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I forgot to update: but they fixed the speed dating event so it was 30 something sapphics only (as advertised). I had a good time. Interesting event for sure.
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primofate · 1 month
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Confessions Series - Part 2: Description [Genshin Impact Male Characters]
In a nutshell: He asks if you have your eyes set on someone. You start describing HIS features and watch for his reaction. (Hint: He likes you too)
Other works in this series: (Part 1 - Overheard)
Warnings: The usual, haven't written in a while, please forgive mistakes, bit of angst in Diluc (couldn't help it), I am a sleep deprived mother, some profanity, for some reason did not feel like writing Zhongli though he's one of my faves.
Characters: Aether, Albedo, Alhaitham, Ayato, Baizhu, Bennett, Chongyun, Cyno, Dainsleif, Diluc, Gaming, Heizou, Itto, Kaeya, Lyney, Neuvillette, Scaramouche, Tartaglia, Wriothesley, Xiao, gn!reader
Personal Favourites: Diluc, Wriothesley
Aether
"Yeah, I do," you start. "He's very selfless...He's always running around helping other people,"
Aether nods, intense gaze in his eyes while listening.
"Hmm...He has...a partner. Like a companion he always travels with..."
Aether's brows start to furrow and his head tilts the slightest bit. Paimon flying next to him has no clue who it is whatsoever.
"He's not originally from Teyvat...He's on a journey, you see..." this is where you start getting nervous
You see it click in Aether's head slowly, and his eyes start to widen the slightest bit
"Hey, that sounds an awful lot like you, traveller! Why have we never met this person before, Y/N?" Paimon asks and you only smile.
"P-Paimon," Aether glances at her and then back to you. It's silent for a moment. Paimon is super confused.
But Aether being Aether didn't want to get the wrong idea and racks up the courage to ask you one last question. "He's on a journey...to look for his twin sister?"
You smile the brightest smile you've ever given him. "Correct!"
"Ah...Well..." Aether starts to feel the heat on his cheeks. "That's..." he doesn't say anything else for a few seconds. "Don't get me wrong, I'm just...I'm happy!"
Is basically flustered when he realizes you've technically just confessed to him.
Albedo
"Simply put, I think he's dedicated to his craft," You shrug and smile
"...An admirable trait," he responds.
"He's frequently in Dragonspine. He spends a bit of time in his lab there," you decide to just go straight for the obvious.
Albedo pauses. "I...see..." Turns to you with a small smile "I wasn't aware that you were that fond of me,"
"Now you know," you simply say and try to play it off with a wave of your hand.
He chuckles under his breath and strides over to you while saying. "Well then, I suppose it's my turn to talk about the person I've set my eyes on,"
Proceeds to describe you accurately, down to your likes and dislikes. In his eyes, you seem like something so precious and you can't help but feel a bit embarrassed.
Alhaitham
"Hmm... Sort of," you explain. "He's a little...hard to reach,"
Alhaitham "...and you still pursue him?"
You laugh a bit "I'm hardly pursuing him, I'm just...observing. I like watching him, even though he has the most unreadable face I've seen,"
Alhaitham goes quiet for a moment. He catches on fast, he already has an idea but is cautious about what he says. "...I see," he doesn't ask anything else, but you continue to offer information.
"He likes reading. Really smart guy...but kind of no nonsense type. Very straight to the point," You begin to feel a little nervous so you pretend to read your own book with a small shrug.
The silence is deafening.
"I suspect that type of person will be hard to put up with," he suddenly says aloud and you chuckle in response.
"Possibly, but he seems to be putting up with me too...I guess?"
He suddenly closes his book and leans forward to pry the one in your hands away. He locks his gaze with you. "...'Putting up' is hardly the word I would use." his lips twitch the slightest bit before continuing. "He has little to no patience for other people...so if he keeps you around...perhaps it signals something else,"
"Something else...As in, I'm special?"
Again he quiets for a moment, before he stands up, chair scraping the floor. "...Precisely," he turns to start walking out of the library, waving a hand behind him. "I'll pick you up in the morning tomorrow,"
Ayato
"I do, but he's a very busy sort of man,"
Ayato "Is that so?" he pours tea for you.
"Quite. He's also a very important person,"
He hums and watches the billowing steam from the tea. "It sounds as if I might know this person," but he genuinely doesn't know it's him, he just thinks its another noble.
"...You most definitely know him. He has a sister. Lovely girl." This is where you avert your gaze from him in fear of him instantly connecting the dots.
He talks in pauses "A...sister..." His mind is starting to make connections but he can't be quite sure yet. So he prods further. "...Does she happen to have a vision?"
"A cryo vision holder, yes," you're biting the inside of your lip at this point. There's a moment of silence before you hear Ayato laughing rather gleefully, like he was amused by a story.
"I see." he ends with a chuckle. "I apologize for being so busy, Y/N," he smiles at you "I promise I'll do my best to arrange my priorities in order to spend more time with you,"
Baizhu
"He takes his job too seriously and can be quite reckless...Sometimes he even puts himself in danger,"
Changsheng catches on immediately. The snake had already known for a while. Baizhu was just being dense. "Oh here we go," the snake half whines.
Baizhu gives it a weird look before turning his attention back to you. "That does sound reckless,"
"I've told him a couple of times to think about himself too...but I guess he's just really passionate about his job,"
Baizhu sort of shrugs, "What IS his job?"
"...Well for starters he owns a pharmacy around town,"
To Baizhu the realization hits all too slowly. It's not that he was slow or dense, but he was having a hard time believing that it was him you were talking about, specially when you hadn't said it outfront.
"...You do realize I'm the only one who owns a pharmacy around town?" he asks, eyes piercing through you and awaiting your answer.
Changsheng is the one who answers for you. "Yes you ridiculous doctor, Y/N's pertaining to you!"
It's the first time you've seen him blush and he turns his head away when he does so. "I-I see, well...that's rather, unexpected...but not unwelcome,"
Clears his throat "Just give me a moment"
Changsheng would roll its eyes if it could.
Bennett
"Has a lot of energy...Sometimes I wonder where he gets all of it. I really like him for that though."
Deflates as soon as you start talking about your "crush". What kind of answer was he expecting anyway? That you had eyes for him?
"He has a bit of a...problem when it comes to luck," you continue
Bennett stops, you look at him and you can practically see the gears in his head starting to turn a little faster.
"Y-Y/N? Are you talking about..." then the gears suddenly stop. "Oh what am I saying, it can't be. Ahahaha! Let's go!" starts walking again as if nothing happened
Your jaw drops and you're forced to just DIRECTLY tell him you're talking about him.
"...Oh...Oh! F-For real?! Oh...Sorry... I just thought... there's no way! B-But, I'm really glad! Really!"
Chongyun
"Hmm...He's a little shy...but he's very responsible,"
Chongyun stares at you intently and nods as if taking notes.
"He doesn't like spicy stuff,"
Chongyun nods twice, eagerly.
"He's very dedicated in learning about thaumaturgy,"
Chongyun blanks out, brows furrow but still nods. Slowly.
"He's really good with a claymore too!"
Chongyun stops and stares at you, you see a hint of red gracing his cheeks "Y/N...You can't possibly be...talking about... m-m-m-"
Can't seem to say it, so you outright say that it is, in fact, him.
Combusts into a tomato red
Cyno
"How do I say this...He's a pretty strict guy." The two of you are playing Invokation TCG during this convo.
"Mmhmm..." Cyno is focused on his cards, frankly he doesn't give a craps ass who you're into. He didn't even know why he asked, he just dug himself a hole.
"...but he really only takes his work seriously. It's his job to be serious, I guess. I think that's what Matras need to do," he finished his turn and its yours now, though he's still studying his cards intently. Until you get to the Matra part.
"He's a Matra?" You rarely see a surprised face on Cyno so you focus your gaze on him. "Which one?" He further asks. Honestly he looks about to murder someone.
You blank out a bit at how intense his stare was, "Well...You know. That one, the one who's really into Invokation TCG,"
He immediately follows up without missing a beat "I don't know anyone else who's into--" then it clicks.
It was so damn silent for a good 10 seconds. You clear your throat, tear your eyes off him "Um, it's your turn,"
STILL doesn't budge until he finally goes back to his cards with a whisper, you can't really tell but he looks slightly bashful and you can barely, BARELY hear him "...If I win then we go on a date,"
"Okay, and if you lose?"
Cyno "...I'm not gunna lose,"
"See, I told you he's a really serious guy,"
Dainsleif
"I think he's a very dedicated person," you get lost in thought a little, thinking about him. "Whenever I look at him...Sometimes I feel as if there's a certain sadness in him... Perhaps he blames himself for not being able to protect his nation,"
He IMMEDIATELY knows. And he knows that you hurt for him too. How could he not?
"He searches for answers... I don't know for how long, I suppose a long, long time," you close your eyes, imagining how long he must have been wandering Teyvat.
You only open your eyes when you feel a hand brush against yours. He's looking straight at you, neither happy nor sad. "...You don't have to feel that way, for my circumstances,"
The brush against your hand disappears and reappears next to your cheek, his fingers gently resting on it "...Knowing that you feel that way, has taken away some of the burden that I shoulder,"
His gaze suddenly hardens and his voice drops to a whisper, "But please, just don't end up in the same way as everyone else,"
Diluc (I don't know why I end up writing a whole novel for this guy. I guess he's my OG favourite)
You pause for a moment, wondering how to describe Diluc. "...Sometimes... I feel as if I know a lot about him and yet... he's still far off in the distance,"
Diluc, rifling through paperwork, doesn't even look at you. "...That tells me nothing about him," there's a bit of bite in his statement.
You sigh a little, "I mean, simply said he's a hardworking man. He always has Mondstadt's best interests in mind...but he prefers to work alone,"
He's silent, but you can still hear the paper shuffling.
"....but people love him. They care for him. I suppose I understand why he keeps a distance but..." at this point you don't even realize that you're just rambling and staring into space. Sort of in a daze of thinking out loud. "...isn't it lonely? ...I suppose I shouldn't assume how he feels. Maybe he's fine with it...I just wonder how long till he sees us..." there's silence, no ruffle of papers, you're still just staring at the bookshelf and you continue in a monotone voice. "...or sees me,"
You blink, and all of a sudden its as if a magic spell is cast on you and you wake up to the reality that you've been rambling about him. You sit up straight "Oh," then turn to him with a careful smile. You don't think he knows what or who you're talking about anyway. "I better get going," you stand, "Jean must be waiting for me."
You leave, and he doesn't stop you.
You don't really think anything of it, feeling as if your whole monologue was very vague...but to your surprise he knocks at your door in the evening, there's a bit of rain falling.
"Diluc? You're drenche--"
"I see you,"
The determination in his voice lulls you to keep quiet and only stare up at him, wondering if he had more to say, but instead of saying something, he leans in, wrapping his arms around you and resting his forehead on your shoulder, as if he had been defeated.
You only welcome his embrace, and, for the first time in a long time. Diluc finally feels like he's home.
Gaming
"Passion!" You nod your head as you say it. "He knows what he wants to do and is incredibly dedicated to it!"
Gaming looks surprised, has no idea you're talking about him. "Huh! That's really cool!" He thinks he's the total opposite. "Wish I could be as dedicated as him."
You kind of laugh out loud and he raises his eyebrows and tilts his head. "What?"
"Gosh you really sell yourself short," you shake your head "Anyway, this guy, right, he kinda works two jobs," you put out your hand to count one and two "One, for the Secure Transport Agency and two, he's in a Wushou Troupe,"
Gaming instantly straightens his back and looks at you wide-eyed. You figure you had to be direct when it came to him otherwise he'd never get it with how modest he was.
"...You're...talking about...me?" You smile at him sympathetically.
"You know, Gaming, I wish you saw yourself the way others saw you. You're a great person,"
Big smile, but legit looks like he's about to cry. "Between the two of us? I think you're greater Y/N,"
Heizou
"...Honestly he's kind of a flirt," you raise your eyebrows at the fact and kind of question yourself why you like this kind of person. "Makes me wonder if he does that to everyone, you know?"
Heizou hums and puts his hand under his chin in a "thinking position"
"That's not enough evidence to go by. Perhaps we can investigate this guy together to see if he's worthy,"
You look at him, pursing your lips while musing and giving him a suspicious look. You're not sure if he's figured it out.
He's got no idea. I mean, it was a pretty general description. "Any distinguishing features?" he asks.
You look at him in a deadpan manner. "Red hair, I guess. And moles under his eyes,"
He looks back at you with a matching blank face.
Then breaks into a wide, close eyed grin. "I see! From experience, that person is truly trustworthy,"
You sigh a little, "Is he though?"
He chuckles heartily. "I promise you he is," offers you his hand with a genuine smile. "Let me show you,"
Itto
"Ummm... big, tall, strong looking guy. Intimidating at first look but he's actually a dork," you explain.
Itto crosses his arms above his chest with an unamused face. "Tch! No way! Ain't no one taller than me in Inazuma!" Then he looks smug again. "Anyway, keep goin'. What else?" Only asked you because he wants to see what your "type" is.
"...Popular? Nah... Infamous is the word, I think. He kinda gets into a lot of trouble,"
Itto raises a brow "You serious? Whaddyou want with someone like that?" as if he wasn't a troublemaker himself.
"I mean... He also loves life and somehow always sees the good side of things."
Itto "Eh... guess that's a good thing..." folds his arms behind his head and huffs.
This guy is never gunna get it so you drop more obvious hints. "He's an oni who has his own gang."
For a split second he looked like he was going to get it, and then... "WHAT?! There's another oni who wants to challenge the Arataki Gang?"
"That's not what I--"
punches his fist onto his palm "Lead the way Y/N, let me at 'em!"
"I'm talking about you!"
"Huh?"
"Itto, there's no other oni around town!" leave it to him to make you exasperated.
He quiets for a few seconds. "...But Y/N..."
You expectantly stare at him, curious what he was going to say about your confession.
"...Did you just call me a dork?"
Of course that's what he picks up on.
When he finally processes it though, he's stoked and on an all time high.
Kaeya
"...good at talking to people, and he knows it... Exudes charisma like he breathes air," You're saying this with a glare.
He chuckles and rests his head on his fist. "Why, pray tell, do you look angry when saying that?"
"Not angry..." you mumble under your breath, eyes trailing away from him. "Just... probably a lot of people like him,"
"And you don't like that?" He smirks. He totally knows.
"...No...Well...I'm okay with it... It's just... I think he's so much more than what he shows to others,"
That, he wasn't expecting. He actually feels genuinely touched.
"Sure he jokes around a lot...Is good at making people feel comfortable...but he's also kind...and you can always count on him," there's a faraway gaze in your eyes now, a small smile on your face. "To me, he's...a safe space."
Kaeya's smile drops. It looks like he's unhappy and you think that maybe you've made a mistake. Still...there's no way he knows that it's him, right? It was kinda vague...
You're about to stand and excuse yourself but he catches your wrist easily. "...You know..." he starts, meeting you eye to eye. He looks at you as if he's looking into your soul, his eyes the gentlest you've seen them.
"You make it so hard, not to fall deeper in love with you,"
Lyney (I have no idea how this ended up so dramatic)
"He isn't exactly a trickster...but he has a lot of tricks up his sleeve,"
Lyney "Oh?" Raises an eyebrow. Something kind of clicks in him, but he shakes it off. "The good kind or the bad kind?"
You stall a little, thinking of the answer, knowing that he's Fatui. "The...good...kind,"
"You don't sound very sure," he gives you a lopsided smile.
"It's complicated," you admit. "Regardless of the circumstances though, I think he's a great magician,"
You watch his face turn into surprise quite quickly, but he still looks and feels unsure of himself. "Oh, perhaps...I can learn a thing or two from him?"
Your smile turns forced and hard. He can't be serious? He STILL doesn't know, or...what?
"I...Well..." You don't know what to say next, but he seems to get the idea.
"Sorry, have I put you in a hard place? Ahaha..." Scratches the back of his head. "My apologies, I was just curious,"
This, for some reason, really puts you off and you feel as if you've been rejected, even though you technically had not outright told him that you're talking about him.
It seems silly for you to get upset, but you are. So you stand, and make a request of him. "Can we... just pretend this conversation didn't happen?" and you give him some sort of excuse that you need to run an errand or something, and you're off, leaving him feeling...guilty. But he doesn't know why. Or does he?
Lyney would look like the type of person who would be confident about himself. But, really, as a magician, he had to be 1000% sure about something before he went ahead with it, and so...that's where his doubt stemmed from.
Lynnette is really the one who knocks some sense into him. "...and you...let Y/N leave?" after hearing the story from him.
"Oh, Lyney... Regardless of what Y/N feels... For you, next to Freminet and I, is there someone else that you love dearly?"
That's how he ends up at your doorstep. Though you've seen his disappearing rose trick hundreds of times, he was the most sincere at that moment, when he says sorry that he didn't get the hint and to give him a chance.
Neuvillette
"Serious person. He seems to put his work first, above all else," you say. "I respect him a lot for that,"
Neuvillette is interested in what you say, but doesn't know at all that it's him. "He does sound quite respectable," he says while looking through some files.
"A long time ago he said that he feels like he's an outsider...but really I feel like there isn't anyone who knows Fontaine the way that he does,"
Neuvillette, moves the file he was reading downwards, just to look at you questioningly. "He's from Fontaine?" this was surprising to him.
"Well...he currently resides in Fontaine, yes," you nod.
"Ah," he answered curtly. "And I have never met him?" he asks.
"...He's very busy." you bite your lip, about to say something and you know that the next sentence is the point of no return. "He's the Iudex...so it's hard to catch him,"
You swear you can hear your heart hammering in your chest.
You see him put his files down and just stare at you with a sort of...unsure look.
His shoulders relax, he wasn't even aware he had been tense that whole time. "That... must have taken a lot of consideration and courage to say," he clears his throat.
You only nod your head slowly, moving your gaze away from him with an awkward smile. Hand absentmindedly grabbing a book and flipping through the pages...you had no idea what you were doing out of nervousness.
"I apologize...I'm unfamiliar with what to do in these kinds of situations... However," he pauses and seems to think carefully about what he was going to say next. "Please don't take it as a rejection. I'd be honored to navigate this with you, if you would so graciously have me,"
Scaramouche
"He's an asshole," you bite back a laugh.
He instantly knows.
"Actually he acts all tough only to give in to his inner-kind-of-agreeable-personality,"
He snorts
"What? Am I wrong?" you challenge him. You KNOW that he knows. The two of you have been hovering around each other for a while, and there's a certain closeness between the two of you. Though that line was never crossed.
He doesn't answer you back but prods you more. "Is that all? You like that he's an asshole? Are you some type of masochist?"
You almost laugh. "No, you moron. I'm saying he has a weird way of showing he cares. He's always biting my head about not being careful enough. But if he really didn't care he wouldn't be screaming at me, you know what I mean?"
Scaramouche grumbles something under his breath and crosses his arms, turning away from you.
"Say that again?" You ask, not hearing what he said.
"...I said, you're not as stupid as I thought you were," shrugs his concealed embarrassment off and turns back to you all nonchalant again. "Anyway, stop yapping and get going, we got things to do,"
Snatches your hand and starts pulling you to walk with him.
Tartaglia (I feel like this is ridiculously short but I also feel like Tartaglia would have known a LONG time ago if the two of you had the feels for each other)
"Oh man...Probably the most reckless man I know,"
Also knows. Instantly. But shuts his mouth just so he can listen to you talk about him, but it gets deep real quick.
"In my opinion he's a handsome guy. Real charming," you smirk the tiniest bit. "but I don't know if I can keep up with him, honestly. It's a little hard not knowing when he's going to come back...or if he's even gunna come back at all,"
You weren't going to hide the fact that you were scared shitless he didn't return from Fontaine for ages. You legitimately thought he had died.
Tartaglia stops you there, by suddenly cradling your cheek. "Y/N," he's wearing a pained expression. "I'm sorry,"
"Don't be, it's your job, right?" You reassure him, and shrug.
He sighs "Yes, but I'll promise this to you as I've promised my family," he smiles, the most confident smile you've seen on him. Even more confident than when he wields his blades. "I'll come back to you, I always will,"
Wriothesley
"Er... How do I say this... He kind of has some... big boss energy?"
"Oh?" he sips at his tea, glancing at you while he looks at today's paper. "So he's a bigshot?" he asks curiously.
"Somewhat, yes. Intimidating at first look, but...he just has a great sense of responsibility," you pick at the selection of cakes and cookies he has.
"Huh," he lets out in a quick huff. In the deepest, DEEPEST parts of his mind there is a NANOSECOND that he thinks its him but it gets erased so quickly he's not even sure that he had thought about it.
"Sounds like a good person... Any interesting, weird quirks?" he grins as he says this, yet again glancing at your expression.
Your lips tremble a bit at what you're about to say, because you're SURE he was going to get it once you say it. You gulp and feel the hairs at the back of your neck stand before you say out loud "He likes tea. I kind of wonder if it's an addiction," you can't meet his eyes.
He's looking at the paper he's reading but nothing.registers.in.his.brain.its.like.it.stopped.working.
You shift in the uncomfortable silence but he calmly folds up the newspaper and places it on his table. "...I'm inclined to ask, because it would be embarrassing if I got the wrong idea,"
"Mmhmm," you pop a cookie in your mouth to distract yourself.
"By any chance, are you...talking about me?"
"Mm," you nod your head, still not looking at him and glue your eyes on the cookies instead, out of embarrassment.
Suddenly chuckles. You brave a peek at him, now covering his eyes with a single hand, head tipped back to rest on his chair.
You're not sure if that's a good or bad thing.
"Sorry, no, it's just... I didn't think it would happen this way." Visibly takes in a big breath and sighs it out slowly. Seems to have regained his composure and is back to his confident self, smiling at you. "Thanks Y/N, I... don't think it's much of a secret that I enjoy your company too. I'm just a little embarrassed that you beat me to it...some big boss energy huh?"
Xiao
"...He takes on everything by himself. I worry about him," You look at the stars as you say this. Xiao doesn't say anything.
"But I'm glad that he's opening up a lot more now. It's great to see him among friends,"
Xiao has a feeling at this point, that its him you're talking about, but he still doesn't say anything and keeps his gaze in front of him rather than on you.
"Yes, the road in front of him is long but...he's also already come a long way," you sigh a little "The time of Rex Lapis has long gone, but he still sticks to his principles. I think his dedication is part of what I like about him,"
This is when he turns to you, blank look on his face, contemplating on what to do. When you turn to meet his gaze, its then that he decides to bridge the gap between the two of you, shoulder to shoulder, leaning in sideways to catch your lips in a chaste and rather shy kiss.
"You should give a bit of credit to yourself, for putting up with me all these years, Y/N,"
End!
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ssinboo · 4 months
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Say Yes to me
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summary: You've been in love with Jeon Wonwoo since forever, and due to your family relations, you had hopes you'd marry him. Your only problem? he's getting engagement to someone else.
or
During his Engagement party, your childhood best friend and love of your life, Jeon Wonwoo, asks you to run away with him.
pairing: 1960s!AU - Childhood bestfriend! Wonwoo x F!Reader
word count: 10k (45~ minute read) – My longest ever!
warnings: unrequited crushes and overall foolishness, idiots in love, best friends to lovers to not lovers to lovers again, some angst?, Wonwoo is such a nerd, making out in dingy motels, unrealistic mileage for gasoline, seokmin being the sweetest
a/n: This will most certainly be my last fic of the year! So, Happy Holidays everyone! This year has been so troublesome, but I've grown so much and written a lot more, too! I'm so, so grateful for everyone I've met and everyone that's enjoyed my stuff! See you in 2024!
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Had you been questioned, there would never be a concrete answer to the question of just how long you had been in love with Jeon Wonwoo. 
You’d know him forever, and maybe you loved him all along.
Your families were business partners turned friends. And there had always been talk of marriage between the children. Of course, for convenience. The Jeon’s produced top-class racing and sports cars, while your family were in the chemical business, specialising in industry paints and finishes, it was only natural to unite the two families and profit. 
Although your wealth was vast, it was nothing compared to the Jeon’s, despite always having the chance to frequent the same environments, you often found you were on different levels altogether. 
Jeon Wonwoo was the eldest son, and he carried himself as such — with all the poise and arrogance of the heir to a global conglomerate. He liked golfing and late night swims. Always took his coffee black with no sugar, and barely had anything for breakfast, preferring a hearty lunch instead. 
His younger brother, Lee Seokmin, was the result of an affair with a secretary, though that did not mean he was loved any less, no. Seokmin lacked a single mean bone in his body, he had a pure heart and a contagious laugh.  
They were by all means what people liked to call Irish Twins, born less than a year apart. And the nature of that fact only made their differences more apparent. Complete opposites they were, and that extended to how they treated you, too. 
Every summer growing up, your family would travel to the country house and you and your sister would spend the better part of the months at the club. Oh, how you loved the country club with the fun summer activities the clear chlorinated water, having a meal under the pool umbrellas and getting funny tan lines. 
But most of all, you enjoyed Jeon Wonwoo.
His family frequented the same club and every summer, you’d be practically glued to Wonwoo, even if he didn’t dare to pay you any attention.
You were only three years apart, yet he acted as if you were an immature brat. Seokmin had always been happy to play with you and your sister, though. 
More often than not, Wonwoo would lounge by the pool with a book, never daring to go in. And you would cross your arms over tile by the sides and try your damnedest to strike a conversation with him. He would ignore your every word, or worse, poke fun at your latest obsession. 
“Wonwoo, at what time where you born?” You ask, spitting out any chlorine filled water off your mouth. 
He arches an eyebrow, looking up from his book.
“What?”
“What time were you born?” You repeat, unbothered by his acidic tone.
“Why would I know that?”
“Can’t you ask your mum?” 
He rolls his eyes, “Why do you wanna know?”
“So I can see your birth chart,” You shrug, twirling a wet strand of hair around your finger. 
“The fuck is a birth chart?”
“It’s like… It’s a way to see your personality… And I can check to see if we’re compatible.”
“That’s stupid…” He rolls his eyes, again, “You’re stupid.” 
You scoff, “You won’t play along— You’re such a bore!” You yell out and dive back in the pool, leaving behind a cackling Wonwoo. 
Those hapless summer days were spent lazing by the pool with your sister and Seokmin — without a care in the world, laughing about nothing. With the isolated water-balloon fight every now and then. 
You’d grown up before you could realise it, never truly leaving behind your childish crush on Wonwoo. Even if by the age hierarchy, you had no chance of marrying him — Your sister were to marry Wonwoo and you possibly married Seokmin. 
Though you held hope, it crumbled away with every passing minute. 
But that year, your sister had the greatest early birthday present: She’d found the man she was to marry and best of all, your daddy could never say no to his girls. 
With your sister marrying the love of her life, it meant that you would marry Wonwoo, right? It was only a matter of time and you would be sworn to each other before God, your friends, and family. And your first love would blossom. 
On your 21st birthday, your father took you to work with him for the day, though you most lazed around and answered his calls. You only expected to have lunch for your birthday and a party on the weekend.
At noon, he drove to the Jeon’s factory to deliver the new paint samples. 
The workers, most of whom had watched you, your sister and the Jeon kids grow up, greet you excitedly and some even wish you happy birthday. Your father goes straight to the floor to speak to the manager.
Unexpectedly, Mr. Jeon himself shows up.
Mr. Jeon was a handsome old man a captivating smile, he was incredibly passionate about his work and adored mechanics, but he loved his sons above all — And he had great expectations for his boys. 
He greets you with a warm hug and wishes you a happy birthday before discussing business with your father. To which you busy yourself with staring at the pieces waiting for a coat of paint.
“Hey, baby, why don’t you come with us to the patio?” Your father calls and you oblige, skipping toward the two men.
The patio is where they stored their models waiting to be shipped out to agencies or sometimes, for the higher profile clients, directly to the customer. You look at the new line to be launched next winter: sleek and modern with leather seats and wooden accents on the interior. You could never criticise the Jeon’s for their taste, they knew their stuff. 
“Come here, baby,” Your father waves his hands, “What do you think of this car?” 
You study the convertible in a bright red with a cream leather interior; a classic. 
“It’s gorgeous, daddy, when are they launching it?”
“It should be out next year, but what do you think of the colour?”
“I like it,” You nod enthusiastically.
“That’s great baby, why don’t you read up on this model?” He hands you a tiny card, common in the factory, that has the model and batch number, as well as the signature from the supervisor. But just underneath the model, you see the colour name: your name.
As you look at your father, completely astonished, he just lets out a warm laugh and opens his arms for a hug.
“You named a shade after me?!” You glue yourself to him, still in shock. 
“Happy birthday, princess.” 
“Thank you, daddy, you’re the best!” 
“That’s your dad’s present, how about you open mine, now?” Mr. Jeon interjects, waving a tiny jewelry box in the air. 
You fix your hair and take it from his hand, expecting maybe a ring, or earrings. 
But you find brand new car keys.
Mouth agape, you look at him while your father can only laugh at your surprised expression.
“Why don’t you give it a spin?” Mr. Jeon encourages, rushing you toward the convertible. 
And though your father is beside himself with worry for you driving during rush hour, he settles for sitting in the passenger’s seat and doing some good old backseat driving, even though you barely make it past 30.
You drive around the block and return to the factory before your father has an anxiety attack over your driving. 
“Thank you so much, Mr. Jeon! When did you even do this?! I had no idea!”
“Wonwoo oversaw the whole thing, he’s the one you should thank,” He laughs it off, but your heart can only skip a beat at the mention of your beloved’s name. Especially thinking he was the one to take care of such a great gift.
Wonwoo loved mechanics as much as his dad, sometimes even more. He even went to a good college for it, coming back even smarter than before — and much sassier, too. He never stopped doing manual work in the factory, guaranteeing every car made was up to the Jeon standard.
And you were very biased toward his mechanic abilities, especially when he would furrow his brow, glasses perched on the very tip of his nose; he would wipe off sweat off his forehead with his grease covered arm. 
You remember to this day the last time your father came to discuss swatches and you stopped by the shop. Watching Wonwoo work on an older model with a leaky oil tank. 
He did everything himself, changed the tank perched under the car, soldering a brand new one. He also did a once over on anything else that could become a problem in the future, any filters needing change, checking wires and gears, making sure the oil was fresh. The problem came with the lights. He had such a hard time wiggling his thick arms through the machinery to reach the right spot, and you watched very intently how his triceps flexed, deep green veins bulging under his skin.
Wonwoo had gotten so frustrated he’d shed off the top part of his coveralls, sporting a white undershirt so tight you could basically tell the shape of his sweat-clad torso. Oh, how you’d hoped he never got that bulb in place.
“Come’ere,” Wonwoo calls out without further ado. 
“Why?”
“Need your help,” He mumbles under a sigh.
You rise from the barrel you were sitting on and approach the open hood. “With what?”
“Getting this fuckin’ bulb in place,” He hands you the tiny light bulb.
“Where do I need to put it?”
“See— in between this part, need to shove you hand until you reach back here in the light, then you just screw it in.”
“What if I get stuck?” 
“You won’t, you’re so petite,” He smirks.
You scoff, “Shut up.”
Leaning over the hood, you place your left hand on the chassis to steady yourself and shove your right hand in between gears and machinery, trying to find the spot he mentioned.
“I can’t find it,” You complain.
“Keep trying.”
“I am!”
“Here, deeper—“ He reaches for you, one hand on your waist and another on your arm, forcing you toward the place.
You’re way too focused on finding the damn spot for the light, that you barely notice the proximity at all. 
“Can’t find it!”
“Right, right— My right.”
“It’s the same freakin’ right, you idiot,” You hiss.
He laughs, “Fine, our right,” you groan at his stupid joke, “It should be there, try to bring it closer to you.” 
“Found it!” You squeal with a smile, screwing the bulb in its place. 
“Atta girl,” Wonwoo smiles. 
“There!” With a relieved sigh, you finally free your grease-clad hand from the machinery, slightly cringing at the black covering your fingernails — It’d be such a bother to clean it up. 
When you finally lean back, you stumble onto Wonwoo’s firm chest. Lucky for you, he catches you, steady hold at your waist. You’re finally aware of his proximity, to which he only smiles. 
Looking down at where his warm, tauntingly large hands meet your waist, you’re suddenly filled with nothing but rage. ‘
“You got grease all over my dress!” You whine, looking at the perfectly stamped print of his hand over your brand new summer dress. 
He only laughs, “Looks better this way, trust me.”
“Ugh!” You groan, stomping toward the washing area where they kept clean rugs. 
He closes the hood with a loud thump that echoes through the shop and slides into the driver’s seat. The car comes alive with a loud hum and ta-da! The headlight works. 
You are a little proud of your work, yes. But it’s not like you’ll show it.
“Do you not anything clean in here?!” You complain, eyeing the pile of grease-covered rags thrown in a corner. That had to be a fire hazard.
“What?” Wonwoo shouts over the running engine.
You huff and stomp your way back to the car, throwing open the driver’s door. “I have a formal dinner to go to,” You state, leaning over the door.
“Okay, then go.” 
Rolling your eyes, you hold back any possible insults, “Like this?” You gesture toward your otherwise perfectly fine dress. 
He holds back a little mischievous smile, “I have some clean clothes in the office.”
Wide eyes, mouth hanging agape, you stare at him dumbfound, “I hope that’s a joke, Jeon Wonwoo.” 
He laughs, genuinely. That sweet, deep, dorky laugh of his that reverberates through his chest and plunges straight into your heart. 
“Come on, I’ll drive you home.”
As much as he did tease you, Wonwoo never made short on his promises. 
“Is he around?” You ask Mr. Jeon, trying your best to suppress any expectations.
“Oh, he had some business… But he wished you a happy birthday.”
Your smile falters before your catch it, forcing the corners of your lips into a beautiful, rehearsed smile. “Let him know I’m grateful. For the wishes and for the amazing present.”
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It would soon be Wonwoo’s birthday and you had been preparing for what felt like ages. You got him a really nice set of electric work tools since he complained often about how the shop’s tools were always malfunctioning. But you did feel somewhat bad about only getting him a gift relating to work on what should be a day about him. 
So you caved in and got him a gorgeous wrist watch with classy black leather straps; on the underside you had his name inscribed with a heart. — You actually hadn’t planned for the heart, but the jeweller got confused in between so many orders and it was too close to the date to have it re-done. You hoped you could play it off in a cool manner, maybe he would laugh at your story.
The party would be held the eve of his actual birthday, and you arrived at the venue with hours to spare. Your father and sister are by the entrance, speaking to Mr. Jeon, you greet them.
“Hi, Mr. Jeon! Where should I put the gifts?”
“Oh—“ Surprised, he looks at your father, “You’ve brought gifts—“ He seems… surprised? As if it were so weird to bring presents to a birthday party. “Uh— I’m not sure, let me check with my wife where you could place those.”
You father nervously sips on his champagne, avoiding your sister’s burning looks.
“You haven’t told her,” Your sister turns to your father, “Why didn’t you tell her?”
“Tell me what?” You ask.
“Honey… This isn’t Wonwoo’s birthday party…” Your father speaks very slowly, gauging for your reaction at his every word.
Eyebrows raised, you question, “What do you mean?”
“It’s an engagement party, he’s getting engaged to Suzy,” Your sister rips the band-aid off.
And you feel the air being sucked out of your lungs at once, an agonising knot pulls at your throat and your nose stings with the threat of tears. The shopping bags fall from your hands and you fight off the urge to bawl your eyes out. 
Before you actually do cry your eyes out, you rush outside.
“Baby—“ Your father calls but you just storm off, not wanting to be near anyone. 
Engaged? Engaged!
Engaged…
Wonwoo was getting fucking engaged. 
With a bitch named Suzy who had the prettiest hair you’d ever seen and knew how to talk to investors and could speak a thousand languages. And worst of all, she was the kindest, sweetest girl ever. You couldn’t even hate her!
You weren’t even allowed that! As much as you weren’t allowed a simple heads up. How hard was it to tell you beforehand “Hey, the guy you’ve loved your entirely life is getting married to some girl and you just brought lemon pies to his engagement party, thought you’d want to know.”
Maybe you should’ve taken the pies with you, at least you’d have some comfort. 
You know what, what the fuck. Why didn’t Wonwoo tell you anything?! It had been barely a couple of days since you saw each other, why couldn’t he tell you? Were you not even worthy of that? 
Like having known each other your entire lives doesn’t make you worthy of such ”wonderful” news? How hard is it to tell someone in passing that you’re getting engaged! And now, you’re supposed to smile all night and pretend like your guts aren’t festering in rage and melancholy and your blood doesn’t run cold at the mere thought of Wonwoo walking down the aisle.
Giving it a second thought, maybe it wasn’t set in stone yet. 
It’s the modern times and even back in your parents’ days, engagements were broken off all the time! He might not marry Suzy. You might have a chance. 
Maybe you could ask— no, you could plead with your father to tell Mr. Jeon to think it all over. Wonwoo is still young, it’s not time to settle down just yet. He wanted to study abroad, he talked about the automobile industry in Europe with such amaze, and if that took a little longer, maybe Suzy would get tired of waiting?
Who were you fooling? You should’ve seen it coming.
Of course, he wouldn’t have married you, what were you thinking?!
He’s the Jeon’s precious firstborn and you’re… someone who can’t even tell apart the sizing in wrenches —  To top it all off, Suzy was notably great with mechanics. 
You really wish you had those pies with you, it would make your salty tears a little sweeter.
By the time you’re done sobbing in your car, you look a hot mess with runny make-up and swollen eyes. With a sigh, you pull out your purse and muster up any cosmetics that can save you for tonight. 
You could cry all you wanted at home, but right now, you needed to look pretty and have your pictures taken.
By the time you return, the party is to start and guests are gathering at the front, your sister immediately rushes to your side.
“Are you okay?” she whispers, soft hands reaching for yours. 
Forcing out a smile, “Of course! Who do you think I am?”
By the look on her face, you know she doesn’t trust your words not one bit, but will not pry at your emotions any further. At least not for tonight, you’re sure tomorrow she will grill you about this. But for now, you put on a bright smile and greet all the guests.
From the Jeon’s, Seokmin is the third to arrive, missing only by the birthday boy himself. But he immediately greets his parents and comes to greet your family.
“Hey!” You smile, putting aside your glass of champagne so you can hug him properly.
“How you doin’?” He asks, gorgeous smile on display. 
“I’m— Well—“
“They’ve told you then—“ 
You press your lipstick coloured lips into a thin line, “Yeah,” You nod.
“Shit.”
“Yeah,” You shrug, “I’m happy, Suzy is… a—“ Nice words. Nice words. “—wonderful girl.”
Seokmin offers you a sweet smile. “Let’s hope she can handle his tantrums,” he nudges at your arm.
“Oh, please!” You laugh.
Wonwoo was known for sometimes having a bit of a short temper, not often, by any means and maybe that’s what made them so memorable. Like the one time he couldn’t finish a puzzle during game night, so he gathered all the pieces and set the ablaze in the backyard.
“Or—“ A waiter passes by with a tray full of champagne and he so kindly grabs two glasses, offering you one. “Listen to this— He gets to the church, covered in grease from head to toe.” 
You laugh at the thought. Gods, how many times has Wonwoo decided to work on an engine while wearing his most expensive outfit? His mother nearly had a fit every time he would show up dishevelled and smelling like motor oil pretending like nothing’s wrong. 
“Please,” You sip at your drink, “I bet he’s gonna be all greased up tonight.”
Seokmin laughs wholeheartedly. He was the sort of guy to never hold back a fit of giggles no matter how inappropriate it may be, and it was certainly refreshing to know someone genuinely found your company enjoyable.
“For sure, I think her parents will freak out.” 
You nod. 
Tapping at your glass, you hesitate the following words, “Guess we’ll be the ones getting married for the family, then…”
You didn’t hate Seokmin, far from it. You loved him to bits— Not like Wonwoo, of course, you believed you would never love a man like you loved Wonwoo, ever again. 
He was funny, and such a gentleman. Not to mention, handsome, too. If you weren’t hopelessly in love with his brother, he would’ve been the perfect husband of your dreams. But he did deserve better than a wife who could never give him what he deserves. 
“Sorry about that,” Seokmin comforts you and that only makes your nose sting with the threat of more tears.
“Stooop!” You whine in a shaky voice and he’s overcome with worry.
“Hey— What’s wrong—?”
“Don’t be so sweet— I’m emotional tonight—“ You laugh at your emotional state, despite the teary-eyes.
“Are you a crybaby tonight?”
You nod, fanning your eyes in the hope of drying your tears before they can wash away your makeup.
Seokmin smiles, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and you lean against his chest, fighting the urge to cry.
It’s only when you’re certain you won’t bawl your eyes out, that you respond. “It’s not that I hate you, you know I love you, but… You deserve someone that will love you like a husband.” 
He nods, “I know— But it might not be so bad, we’re friends! We’ll have sleepovers every day, and we’ll have Italian every night, we’ll watch those silly movies you like…” Seokmin lists off all the things you would do in your very platonic marriage and it doesn’t sound so bad. 
He knew exactly how you felt, he loved you, of course he did, you were so precious in his eyes, but not like a lover. 
You pull your face away from his chest to look up at him, “Are you gonna let me choose your clothes?” 
Seokmin sighs. You hated his questionable fashion since forever and in only very rare occasions did he accept your input, any other time and he assaulted your spirit with clashing patterns and silly shoes.
“Fine—!” 
You smile brightly, properly comforted. 
Before you can tease him any further, you spot Wonwoo entering the venue. Although he is immediately swarmed with congratulatory words, his shy nature makes it so his only response is always an awkward smile. 
He immediately spots you among the crowd.
You breathe in. In that moment, despite knowing he was sworn to another, that did not stop your heart from fluttering at the sight of him, his broad shoulders and the crooked tie he clearly put on a rush.
“Congrats, bro!” Seokmin is the first one to greet him, not letting go of your shoulder but instead pulling Wonwoo into a semi-hug. 
“Seokmin…” Wonwoo eyes his brother and then you, and then his brother again.
“Congrats, Nonu,” You smile, letting go of Seokmin’s comfort to reach for a hug. 
Wonwoo smiles, letting you cling onto his neck, your citric perfume seeping into his clothes and body. 
Oh, how his warmth could never compare to another. How you craved his affection like no other. 
“Thanks— Uh, did you bring me anything?” He asks in a teasing tone.
“Ey— Nonu!” Seokmin scolds his brother. 
“How did you know I brought you something?” You giggle, pulling away from the hug. 
Wonwoo shrugs. 
You reach for his crooked tie, straightening it to the best of your abilities. “I brought it earlier, but I think your mum took it to the back room,” You explain, focused on the tie.
He, however is focused on your concentrated face, parted red lips and furrowed brows. The proximity that lets him almost feel your chest pressed against his, as if extending the hug. 
“However, you, mister, have to greet your guests!” You scold, setting his tie in place.
Seokmin joins in, once again throwing his arm around your shoulder. “That’s right, mum already gave me an earful about how late you were— And I got here on time!” 
“Yeah— Yeah— You’re right,” Wonwoo nods.
“Liquid courage?” You offer your half-drunk glass of champagne and he downs it in one go.
You and Seokmin goof around a little more and gossip about certain guests behind their backs. Dinner is served and you all sit down to eat, Seokmin insists you sit beside him, which just so happens to also be next to Wonwoo. And you thank him for indulging you one last time.
Wonwoo is mostly quiet, but you were used to him not being rather fond of public parties, especially when all of the attention is on him. On his other side, sits Suzy, the blushing bride-to-be. She tries to make conversation with Wonwoo, though most of it falls flat, he only ever gives her monosyllabic answers and rarely contributes to discussions. 
That is until Mr. and Mrs. Jeon stand up, tapping forks to their glasses to call for everyone’s attention. The room quiets down instantly. 
“Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for attending our little gathering tonight,” Mr Jeon greets the guests. “We have some wonderful news we would like to share with you all.” 
“My beautiful son, how proud I am of you,” He adds, “Every day I am  amazed at your intellect. Often, I question just where did you get those smarts!”
Everyone laughs.
“You have grown into a fine man, and I can’t take credit for any of it. You are the most mature, talented, and intelligent boy and you did it all by yourself— ”
You can watch how Wonwoo’s eyes gloss over with tears. 
“I’m growing old, you know. And every father wants the guarantee that his children will be taken care of… That’s why I’m so relieved and happy to announce that my worries will soon be gone—“ He laughs but his son’s smile falters, “I’d like to announce the engagement of my son, Wonwoo, to this beautiful young lady named Suzanne. Welcome to the family, Suzy.” 
He raises his glass and soon, the room fills with uproar. Everyone claps and you join in, smiling toward Mr. Jeon and Suzy. She stands up, thanking everyone and raising her own glass.
But Wonwoo doesn’t move. 
“Nonu?” You whisper. 
In his ears all that can be heard is muffled screams of joy and the incessant acute ringing. He closes his fists so tight that his blunt nails almost break through skin, he doesn’t look at you, but it’s so clear something is wrong.
You and Seokmin exchange glances. 
Before you can call for him again, he stands up at once, the chair falling behind him with a loud bang that silences the room in an instant. In large and rushed strides, Wonwoo leaves for the patio. 
You stand up and follow him. 
“Wonwoo!” You call out, almost tripping over your party heels. 
He stands in the yard, hand gripping at his gelled hair while the other fights with his tie, pulling at the suffocating fabric until it slides down.
The yard is decorated with a gorgeous fountain, sound of running water somewhat soothing in this moment.
“Nonu, what’s wrong?” You whisper, a hand reaching for his heaving shoulder.
“What wrong?!” He yells back, shoving your hand away, “Did you not fuckin’ hear ‘em?!” 
You step back and his gaze somewhat softens, realising he just pushed you.
“You didn’t know…” You whisper to yourself, epiphany hitting you like a punch to the gut. How could Mr. Jeon do this?! Throw this on him without any previous warning?!
“You— You knew?” His voice is shaky, laced with the sharp sting of betrayal.
“I found it out myself tonight when I got here— I— I thought you knew! I thought you agreed to it!” You argue. 
“How— How can you think I would agree to marry someone—“ His words trail off in the night breeze, never to be finished. 
“Then— What will you do?”
“I don’t know!” 
You bite at your nails, finding a concrete surface to sit on and ponder. 
“I must leave—“ He speaks out, “Run away with me—“
“What?!” you stand up.
“Let’s leave, drive somewhere— Wherever! I can’t stay a moment longer in this place.” 
Oh, what a dilemma it was.
Abandon an engagement party with the groom-to-be, leaving behind furious parents and confused guests. And part of you knew that, despite your family’s closeness and no matter how much your father claimed you were all very close like family, driving off in the middle of the night with a committed man was a blow to any respectable, single, young ladies.
What a dilemma it could’ve been if you weren’t so enamoured with this man you would beck at any given call of his.
“I’ll get my bag and tell your parents you want to stay out here for a couple of minutes,” You announce and he nods.
As you walk back into the venue, all eyes are on you.
“He’s got the wedding jitters, everyone, not to worry. Wonwoo will return after he’s had a bit of fresh air,” You announce with a smile and all guests return to their previous activities.
But Mr. Jeon immediately corners you.
“What is he thinking?!” He half-yells, half-whispers.
“He’s just nervous, it’s a big bit of news…” You lie through your teeth, “I think a little heads up would’ve helped, you know he doesn’t do well with surprises.”
The man sighs, “He wouldn’t ever agree to it. I’ve offered him countless girls to marry and he never accepts any of them.“ Mr. Jeon looks at you and then sighs. “Do me a favour, convince him to come back, will you?”
“Yes, sir,” You nod and head off into the back rooms.
Unbeknown to you, Seokmin is on your trail and he waits until you are in the back lounge, gathering your bags and jacket to close the door and corner you.
“What the hell happened?”
You jump at the sudden intrusion, “You scared me!” You whisper.
“Sorry,” He whispers back.
“He didn’t know!”
“What?!” He says in a normal tone, soon realising just how loud that was. 
“What I said, I think your dad set up a trap… He knows Wonwoo won’t go against his word.”
“Shit. What are we gonna do?”
“He wants to run away,” You announce.
Seokmin looks at you, and then at the purse hanging from your should and the jacket in your hands. 
“And you’re coming with him?”
“I can’t leave him alone, not tonight.”
“And where are you going?”
“I don’t know,” 
“And when are you coming back?”
“I don’t know.”
“You are coming back, right?”
“I have no idea, Seokmin,” You realise, but the prospect doesn’t scare you as badly.
He scratches at his head. “Leave through the kitchen, I’ll hold off my dad. Make sure to give me a call once you guys are… I don’t know— Just give a call, will you?” 
You nod, pulling him into a hug.
Doing as he instructed, you pass through the kitchen staff and rush through the backdoor, unseen by the guests. Wonwoo is sitting on a concrete bench, his head between his hands.
“Ready?” You call out.
Wonwoo looks up, nodding before he rises to his height. You offer him a comforting smile and reach for his hand. 
Once you get hold of his hand, you bolt across the yard toward the parking lot. He almost stumbles over his lanky legs, but catches up rather fast. You throw your stuff on the backseat and enter your car, Wonwoo decides to jump over the door. 
You laugh at his antics with a shake of your head. 
Once your heels are discarded, you start the engine and drive off, leaving behind that dreaded engagement party. Wonwoo busies himself with shedding his formal wear, throwing his tie on the floor and removing his blazer. 
In any other occasion, this could’ve been such a lovely late-night drive, just the two of you in your beloved car, night breeze caressing your faces with her ice-cold kisses, cruising through deserted roads, barely a soul in sight except for the night owls.
And you might allow yourself to enjoy this moment.
The silence isn’t a bother, no, Wonwoo was always a man of comfortable silences to you, but this once, you’re worried about goes on in that busy mind of his.
“You alright?” You ask, looking away from the road to steal a glance or two at him.
“Yeah,” He replies.
“Truly?”
“No,” He scoffs at his own lie. “But I’ll be.”
You nod. 
You drive out of town and on the interstate roads for ages until Wonwoo finally speaks up. You’re completely engulfed in darkness except for your headlights.
“We should stop soon and have a rest.”
“Okay,” You nod, “Any preferences?”
“Anywhere.” 
And so you tell him to keep his eyes peeled open when a sign on the road says there should be a motel in the next couple KM. It doesn’t take too long before you’re pulling into the parking lot of a roadside motel, much of a far-cry from your expensive hotels and luxury living. 
You check in at the front desk with an old man who seems very unhappy with his life, he short of throws the keys your way. 
The room is… surprisingly nice, given the circumstances of the ambience. Only problem is the, although quite large, singular bed. You exchange glances.
“Shit,” Wonwoo curses, “I’m gonna 
“You wanna get hit?” You joke, “He’s minutes away from killing us over this room. We can just share the bed.”
He looks at you with wide eyes. “I’ll sleep in the tub.”
Oh, he certainly seems to hate the idea of sharing a bed with you, huh.
“Nonu, please, it’s late and we’re both tired. It will be just like when we were kids,” You explain, setting aside your stuff.
Wonwoo nods, sitting on the strangely comfortable bed.
“You think they have robes?” You ask, looking around.
“Wouldn’t bet on it.” 
“Oh, I’d kill to get out of this dress,” You whine, running to the bathroom to check for anything you could wear instead of your dress. 
He just bites at his lips, watching you pace from side to side in that tiny bedroom. 
That’s when you remember your forgotten shopping bags sitting in the trunk! Your compulsive shopping habits just saved you from a very uncomfortable night’s sleep, how convenient!
“I think I have some clothes in my car,” You announce, grabbing the keys and heading toward the door.
“Wait, you’re going by yourself? let me go with you.”
“I don’t wanna lock the door, though,” You whine.
He sighs, “Stay here, I’ll go.” 
You jump, “Thank you, Nonu!”
While Wonwoo rummages through your trunk and pulls out the surprising large amount of shopping bags, you shed off your clothes and head toward the bathroom, dying to get some hot water on your body, put on your new PJs and doze off. 
When he returns however, he is greeted by a sight any other man would die to see. You’ve left a trail of clothes from the bed toward the bathroom door. Starting on your pretty dress, splayed out over tiled-floor, and then your tights and then your underwear, matching, too— 
He clears his throat. “I’m back!” 
But you probably don’t hear him through the running shower, so he just sets down the bags and avoid the sight of your clothes. He decides to turn on the tiny TV and browse through any late night re-runs. You take only a couple of minutes in your shower.
“Nonu?” You ask from the bathroom.
“Yeah?” He turns down the TV.
“Did you find the clothes?”
“Yeah.”
“Can you bring me something to wear?” Wonwoo gulps. 
“Uh— Which one?”
“There should be a light blue bag and a pink one.” 
“Okay—“ He stands up and searches for the aforementioned colours. 
Wonwoo heads to the bathroom door and leans against the wall, facing away from the door. He knocks once. You open the door and shove your arm through, reaching for the bags.
“Thank youu!” 
He returns to the boring TV. Though all he could think about was the sight of your wet supple skin, knowing you were bare with only a thin sheet of plywood separating you. 
You leave the bathroom smelling of cheap soap and fresh into your brand new nightgown. It is tentatively short with an almost see-through round of lace over the hems. In your defence, you weren’t planning on showing this nightgown to anyone anytime soon. 
Sitting on the bed, you look around the room, not noticing how Wonwoo’s eyes don’t really meet yours or how red his ears seem to burn.
“Aren’t you gonna shower?” You ask.
“Feels a bit redundant to shower and get back into my dirty clothes.” 
“I think I might have something for you, if you don’t want to sleep in a suit,” You pry.
Wonwoo raises an eyebrow, “I’m listening.”
“But you can’t judge! I bought this for my dad because you know he deals very poorly with the heat— And he never buys himself anything!” You’re explaining yourself in advance because you remember very well what you bought.
Silky boxer shorts and a tank top, which your father loved to sleep in on stuffy summer nights but you doubted would be Wonwoo’s first choice of wear, ever.
He haggles with his own mind; give into the silky boxer shorts or sleep in the most uncomfortable outfit ever. With a tired sigh, Wonwoo accepts his fate and grabs the bag. 
You smile as he stomps toward the bathroom with a defeated frown.
By the time he returns, you’ve cleaned up your trail of clothes and made yourself very comfortable in the bed. You turn your head to face him.
God, he could make a potato sack look good. 
“How’s the fit?” You pull your eyes away before you look for too long. 
Wonwoo shrugs, “I’ve had worse.”
You laugh.
He coyly joins you in bed, keeping a large gap between your bodies, settling on top of the covers while you’re under their warmth. 
“Ain’t you cold?” You ask, fidgeting with the TV remote. 
Wonwoo shakes his head, leaning back into the headboard. With a pout, you cross the figurative bridge between the two of you and reach for him. He doesn’t shy away from your touch but it visibly confused.
“What’s wrong?” He asks, hands hovering in the air, far away from your exposed back.
“I’m sorry your birthday party sucked,” You murmur against his chest, Wonwoo smiles softly, letting his hands rest on you.
“It didn’t suck in its entirety,” he says, palms slightly tapping at your back, “it was fun running away with you.”
You giggle at his comment, heart fluttering at its meaning, “What are we going to do? About the engagement, I mean…”
“We?” He raises an eyebrow.
You pull away from him.
“Well— You dragged me into this!” You slap at his chest and he lets out a boisterous laugh that almost manages to pull the corners of your from into a smile.
“I know, I’m taking the piss out of you,” He extends his arms, pulling you back to your previous position, resuming the soft caresses he leaves on your arms. “I don’t know— This is the first time I’ve ever gone against my father.”
You sigh. “Don’t you wanna marry Suzy?”
There’s a pause and oh, you’re begging, wishing to hear the words you want most.
“Fuck no!” Wonwoo exclaims and you fail to hide your excitement.
“She is pretty,” You throw the bait, to pry at his true feelings.
“So is your sister, should I just marry any pretty girl?”
You raise from your position, eyebrows furrowed into a deep frown. Wonwoo looks at you, completely clueless to his words and its consequences.
“What the hell?!” 
“What?” 
Kicking off the covers in a flurry, you kneel on the bed, staring at him dead in the eyes.  “You have the hots for my sister!”
It’s Wonwoo’s turn to get angry, “What?! No— You’re twisting my words—“
“I’m twisting your words?! You just said you think my sister is pretty!” 
“Because she is!”
You jaw drops, you can’t believe he is doubling down. “Wow,” you shake your head. 
“What’s wrong with saying that?”
You shrug, turning away from him and crossing your arms. “I don’t know, why don’t you just go an marry my sister, then.”
Only then, does this thick-headed man you love so much realise he has been complimenting other girls without so much as telling you a single nice word — the bare minimum. He sighs and offers you a soft smile, shifting in the bed until he is near you again.
“I don’t want to marry your sister. I think she is pretty, but she’s not the prettiest sister, you are.” He waits for your reaction.
Hook, line and sinker. 
You turn around immediately, a hint of smile playing in your pretty lips. 
That’s enough for him to break into a wide smile, opening his arms to welcome you back into his warmth. You crash into his chest, wrapping yourself around his torso. 
He groans, falling back into the mattress but not letting go of you.
Minutes pass before you speak again. “It’s past midnight…” You whisper.
“It’s well past midnight… Why?”
You shift upwards until your faces are only inches apart, breath tickling his lips, your beautiful eyes gleaming under dim motel lighting. “Happy birthday,” You whisper between smiles, “Make a wish.” 
Wonwoo breathes in, eyes scanning your face, “There’s one thing I want…” 
“What is it?” 
If he said it out loud, he might’ve lost all courage to do so. 
So he just does it, Wonwoo leans forward until his lips meet yours in a chaste kiss. 
It probably lasted a couple of seconds, but those seconds felt like a lifetime when you were finally kissing the man you’ve loved for god knows how long. There’s a spark of electricity that burns bright from the moment your lips touch and travels through your body, blood boiling in excitement, shyness, and pure love. 
When the kiss ends, Wonwoo studies your face, watching for any sign of discomfort. Which is even more worrying when you’re standing there, froze solid with an empty stare.
But thankfully, before he can say anything, you throw caution into the wind. 
You pull him into a kiss. Throwing every sense of morale and shame you had out the damn window. He was a man sworn to another, for Pete's sake! But here you here, crashing your lips into his perfect, soft ones. 
Wonwoo lets out a quiet groan, almost inaudible, but you hear it, oh yes, you do. And it runs straight through your chest and down to your core. 
Although the sensible, rational part of your brain tells you to quit kissing him at once and just apologise, the other 99% of your brain, who’s been in love with him since forever, wants nothing of the sort. And you might have listened to the not-so-rational part of you, because you just deepened the kiss, shifting your weight until you’re partially on top of him.
Your lips move against him, shyly exploring this kiss, engraving every moment into your memory. 
Yet he reciprocates. His warm hands finds your waist, holding you flush against his torso, heartbeats thumping completely in-sync. You wrap your arms around his neck and he takes the chance to pull you deeper into those dangerous lips of his. His tongue finds its way into your mouth, licking and twirling against yours, hot and eager. 
He dips his head, one hand reaches to tangle into your hair and manoeuvre you around, allowing himself complete freedom to explore every bit of your mouth. 
Wonwoo kisses like no other. Not that you had too much of a repertoire to compare him to. 
But he consumes your lips with an unbound hunger, nothing similar to the calm and collected Wonwoo you knew, no. He’s hungry, messy, and very clumsy, clashing teeth one too many times, letting saliva drip down your chins and struggling to move with you on top of him.
When you part the kiss, you lay there breathless, gazing into his ridiculously beautiful beady eyes and long eyelashes, his handsome sharp nose and the most kissable lips you’ll ever see.
 It was breathtaking, mind-blowing and nothing like you’ve ever felt before. Your heart beats so fast you feel as if you might pass out at any moment but you’d die before you give up experiencing that again.
“What was that?” He whispers and his breath tickle your kiss-swollen lips. 
“Your birthday gift,” You bite at your lower lip. “Did you like it?”
Wonwoo smiles, breathless and half-lidded and your heart damn near bursts. “I did. Did you?”
You nod.
He nods. “Wanna do it again?”
You nod and he gives you that stupidly handsome smile of his.
And once again, you’re attached at the lips. This once, nothing like before, which you though impossible. It’s so much more desperate and it burns, it boils your blood in absolute desire. It leaves you light-headed, it wipes away your cognitive thoughts and leaves behind a foggy cloud of barely strung-together words that only translate into wanting more. More of him. 
You sigh into the kiss and he drinks it all up, he consumes everything you give him with erratic hands and eager tongue. 
Wonwoo leaves your lips and you whine with a breathless sigh of his name, almost chipping at any resolve he had left. But he nips at your neck nonetheless, warm, wet tongue trailing along your skin, making you twitch in his arms with the most delectable little ‘yips’ of surprise. 
He bites, feral and determined; determined to make his claim, to leave behind his mark on your body, to indulge in carnal pleasure without a prospect of tomorrow, letting everything else be a construct beyond these motel walls, away from where you laid. Away from this reality where he had you in his hands and you moaned his name with a soft smile.
Practically tearing your nightgown, he pulls the silky fabric just enough until your tits spill out of its confine. Wonwoo sighs at the sight, fingers trailing the contour of your boobs, raising goosebumps along sensitive skin. His eyes are burning in adoration, the most depraved glaze of hunger hidden behind sheer excitement. 
He dives in, hands kneading at the flesh, squishing soft skin. 
Slender fingers caress your aereolas, running fingernails along your nipples in curiosity, watching you squirm and bite at your lips as your nipples begin to perk up. 
And when you thought he was done, Wonwoo attaches his mouth to your nipple, sloppily running his tongue around it before he sucks. He makes sure to let his teeth graze, just to watch you jump.
All while his other hand makes work of your unattended boob, your attention is so thinly divided between his teasing fingers and his hot tongue and the sweetest, most satisfied groans that erupt from his throat. 
Your face burns and you bite at the back of your hand, shoving down every stubborn moan that tries to make it past; but he won’t have that, no. Wonwoo reaches for your arms, pinning them above your head without so much as pulling away from your tits. 
Mindlessly, you’ve been rocking back and forth against him, chasing a gut feeling you’re unsure of but desire more than anything ever. And without realising, you’ve been teasing him just as much as he has you, which is clear by the volume contained by his shorts. 
He wishes he could ravish your breasts all night, but any more of your squirming and he will come undone without so much as a touch from you. 
Wonwoo pulls away, hands once against finding your waist as he pulls you back to his chest.
“You know what comes next, don’t you?” He whispers against your lips, half-lidded, lust-filled eyes gazing so deep into your own. 
“I— I’ve never done it before,” You confess.
And something stirs within him, to know he is your first, the first and only man to every touch you this way, to trace his lips over your gorgeous body, to settle inside of you. 
Wonwoo smiles and kisses your nose, “I don’t care… But only if you don’t care that I haven’t either.”
You’re surprised, to say the least. 
Kissing in between smiles, you raise to your knees, letting him tug at the hem of shorts just enough to free his cock. 
It’s nothing like you’ve seen before and unlike the illustrations you remember from school. It’s red and veiny and it glistens with pre-cum under the dim lighting.
But it’s a part of him and you can’t help that your belly stirs at the sight of him stroking himself. 
When you reach for the hem of your nightgown, his hands stop you.
“Keep it on—“ He whispers.
“Why?”
“We’ve got all night to take it off,” He runs his tongue through his top teeth with a side smirk and you almost smack him up the head for being such a little shit.
As he asked so kindly, you bunch up your nightgown around your waist, hips circling around his warmth, meanwhile he’s playing with the flesh of your love handles, kneading and running his fingers over your skin. 
“Ready?”
You nod. He raises your hips and lets you control the pace, you feed in his cock, centimetre by centimetre, feeling it’s girth tear at your walls with an unimaginable sting, it burns hot and heavy in your hands.  
Crashing onto his chest, you cry out a pained yelp.
Wonwoo run his fingers over your back, kissing the top of your head, his eyebrows are bunched up, face painted with worry.  “We can stop— Let’s stop—“
“No!” you raise your head and he can see the tiny droplets bundling around your eyelashes, “Just gimme a minute!”
So you sit there, his cock half-in, pulsing angry red and throbbing under the  tease of warmth and tightness. Especially when you look so breathtakingly gorgeous, he gulps, leaning back against the headboard, urging his mind to be strong. 
It takes you minutes to get used to it, to slowly let the size settle until your muscles are well and accustomed to it and then you start it all over again, feeding the remaining inches until he’s bottomed out. 
And oh heavens, how utterly full and hot you felt. Despite the stinging pain, part of you wants to chase the pleasure, clenching in sheer hunger. 
Wonwoo stares up at you, looking for any signs of discomfort but he is met with the most enticing, beautiful, and tempting creature he’s ever laid his eyes upon. Your eyes are glassy with tears, but you’ve got a determined look on your face with a hint of a smirk that sends shivers down his spine and up his cock. 
“Shit,” He curses out with a smile, leaning back and rutting into your hips only to watch your eyebrows furrow and your mouth gape, a moan threatening to escape. “Ready to move, pretty girl?”
You breathe out, “Yeah.”
Steadying yourself against his chest, you raise your hips, feeling his absence leave you upsettingly empty until you let your body crash back down, his cock impaling you with its warmth once again. You rock against him, shallowly, though the motion is unbearably teasing, even for you. 
Wonwoo lets out an obscene, strained moan, fingernails digging into your waist, but you’re too focused on rocking your hips to notice. How he wants nothing but to piston his hips into your pussy like there is no tomorrow, he relishes in the feeling of your warmth, tight and gummy around his throbbing member. 
And he finds you might be just as insatiable as he is, especially when you’ve found yourself a steady pace, bouncing up and down, and his name pours out of your lips in such a beautiful manner. Though he can’t just let you have all the control, can he?
“Oh—“ You yip, “Feels so— Good—“ Still unsure of your thought, you explore the feeling, rolling your hips, feeling him stretch your wider, fill your insides and leave you full like you’ve never felt before. 
His hips meet yours half way, chasing your cunt every time you leave and pounding into you when you come back down, filling the room with guttural groans and the lewd sound of skin against skin. 
You run your fingers under his shirt, feeling bare, warm skin, the softness of his flesh against your hands, the definition of his pecs and the way his nipples peek through the fabric. Wonwoo groans at the way your manicured nails scratch at his chest, gathering momentum as you bounce yourself on top of him. 
He notices you’ve started moving faster, practically fucking yourself stupid on his cock and he would tease you halfway through tomorrow if he didn’t find himself in such a similar predicament. His pupils are blown wide, eyebrows furrowed across his brow, pretty lips hanging agape. You’re so utterly perfect and you were all his. 
“Tell me how you feel, baby,” He whispers, slowing down for a second. 
You sigh, nuzzling against his neck, “So good— I can’t even describe it—“ Your words are so airy and mindless, you’ve been consumed by the pleasure he gives you.
He catches the sight of the white rim that pools around his member, a mix of your juices, but it’s gone, sheathed inside you before he can admire it. There’s a poisoning thought that flashes in his mind, a fleeting, tempting picture. Of planting his seed in your womb, watching your grow full with child, his child. How absolutely breathtaking you would look, round cheeks and gorgeous smile, pretty fingers caressing your bump. And he would taint your taut stomach with his cum, watching it drip over your skin.
Wonwoo bites his lips so hard it breaks skin, throwing his head back, willing his mind somewhere else, anything else lest he come undone right then and there. 
Stomach tingling with indescribable pleasure, you lean forward, moaning incessantly, unable to contain your ecstasy. He supports your body, wrapping strong arms around your torso, firm hands planted on your hips, taking over the moving so you can lay still and let the buzz consume your body with its electric touch.
It’s a feeling you’ve never felt before, and it crashes over your body in a colossal wave, building up from the pit of your stomach; sending tingles rushing through your boiling blood. 
You raise your head, eyes meeting his and it seems he is familiar with this pleasure. His left hand meets your face, caressing your cheek, yet holding you still so he can gaze, he can watch you come undone around him. 
Wonwoo watches, unblinking, how your eyebrows furry, your eyes are glossy with tears that cling to your pretty lashes, your lips sit in an enticing pout. Yet you part them, letting out increasingly louder cries of his name. 
And you clench around him like there is no tomorrow, egging him on. He thrusts up into you, riding out your orgasm and chasing his over the edge. 
He crashes his lips into yours, savouring your hazy kiss, your tired sighs and it doesn’t take long before he’s spurting hot white strings into you, it trickles down him and stains the silk fabric of his boxers. 
Soon, he stills all movement except for heavy breathing and the soothing circles he runs over your exposed back. 
He kisses your hair. “How do you feel?”
“Good,” You breathe out, “Tired. But good.” 
His chest shakes with a soft chuckle, he runs slender fingers along your hairline, fixing any hairs that cling to sweaty skin. “Me too.” 
“It felt amazing,” You smile, raising your head to face him. “I’ve never felt anything like it.”
Wonwoo hums. 
“I’m glad it was you, Nonu,” You hid your face against his neck in embarrassment at your own mushy words, but Wonwoo feels their extent, hiding the blush of his cheeks. 
It doesn’t take long before the post-orgasm haze lulls you into sleep. 
And you slept like never before. 
The following morning, Wonwoo wakes up to an empty bed. He panics for a second or two, scrambling to look for your belongings, only to find everything is still there.
Calm, he washes himself up and gets dressed to leave. Finally having a moment to digest the previous night’s events. 
He had made up his mind, he would confront his father. His future was his to decide on. 
Looking for you, Wonwoo reaches the foyer, only to see you leaning against the wall, attached to the payphone. When your eyes meet his, you immediately say your goodbyes, ending the call.
“Who did you call?” Wonwoo crosses his strong arms against his chest and you try to ignore the sight of his muscly forearms peeking from the folded sleeves.
You don’t like his tone. “Seokmin.”
He raises an eyebrow. “Why did you call him?”
“I promised I would,” You shrug. 
Wonwoo can’t believe you would call Seokmin out of everyone, especially after you were glued to him last night at the party. “Why him?”
“He’s worried about you, you stupid— Stupid—“ You choke out on any mean names, simply stomping away from him. 
Why was Wonwoo being so mean so early in the morning? You thought after the amazing night you spent together things would change between you.   Stomping your way back to your room, you grumble under your breath.
While you’re folding your clothes, Wonwoo comes back. 
“I’ll talk to my father,” He announces. 
Before you can say anything about that, he continues. “We’ll get married— You and I, I mean— ” He clears his throat, “Will you marry me?”
Like a deer in headlights, you’re frozen, staring at him big-eyed with a dopey smile on your lips. 
“You’ll marry me?” You question, just in case you’ve tricked yourself into hearing the words you’ve wanted most. 
“Yes. And I— I’ll take full responsibility—“
You smile crashes into the ground. “You want to marry me out of… Responsibility?!” The words choke you on their way out. 
Wonwoo furrows his eyebrows, not understanding why you would be upset. “Do you not want to?”
“No, I don’t want to fucking marry you!” Not like that.
His face falls and he assumes a much scarier look on his face. “What would you rather marry Seokmin, then?”
And in your fury, you blurt out “Yes! Yes, I would rather marry him!”
You realise your rejection hurt him, you do. But you’re so blindsided by your anger you can’t bring yourself to care, not when he sees you as a responsibility. 
Wonwoo is suddenly not so angry, but indifferent. You watch his expression go away, replaced by one much scarier, in your opinion; nothing. A plain poker face. 
“Gather your things and go to the car.”
It’s all he says before he leaves the room. 
The ride back is the most nerve-racking hours you’ve ever experienced. Wonwoo is silent, even you huff and puff under your breath, angrily chewing on your breakfast of vending machine snacks. 
Though he says one phrase as you reach the city. “Leave me here.” 
And that’s the last you saw of him for over a month. 
Your previous anger dries up, turning into sadness. Then you’re furious. And heartbroken until you’ve accepted your reality. You’ve ruined your friendship and lost the love of your life.
It takes your sister plucking you out of bed for you to finally leave your bedroom in weeks. 
She was the first and only person you’ve told about the night spent with Wonwoo. Your parents were absolutely furious that you’d do something so dangerous, though relieved at your safety, they weren’t easy on their words. 
“He’s not doing well, you know,” You sister says. 
You humph. 
“I’m serious. Daddy said he’s clumsy, keeps messing up his work. I think you should go and see him.”
Closing your eyes, you let out a worrisome sigh. You still cared way too much to hear those news and not do something about it. 
So you dress up in whatever you can find and drive to his shop, building up a speech on your way there and practising every scenario. You just hoped everything could go back to the way it was. 
He’s working on an old model, hunched over the hood in his light blue coveralls, stains of grease from head to toe. 
“Knock knock,” You announced your presence, fidgeting with the hem of your dress, looking forward to meeting his eyes as much as you dread to. 
Wonwoo immediately recognises your voice, turning around to meet your eyes. 
And he looks just as wrecked as you felt. Deep-set eye bags and a tired gaze. Yet he still smiles just as handsomely. 
“Hey,” He greets. 
“Busy?”
“No! No,” Wonwoo scrambles, placing the wrench down removing his gloves. 
“Can we talk?”
“Yeah, I actually— I wanted to talk to you, too.”
It’s somewhat relieving as well at it’s worrying to hear him say that, it could be an apology as well as an insult or something of the sort. 
“We should— We should go to my office, someone might come in—“
“Yeah— We should.” You nod.
You walk into his office, one you’ve visited and killed time in quite often. But coming here after everything feels so crushing, all this distance between you. 
“Go ahead—“
“You first—“
You both say at the same time and that seems to ease the stubborn awkwardness pooling in the air. You laugh. 
“How about we say it together?” 
“On 3?”
“1”
“2”
“3”
Breathing in, you say the words that come to your mind from the bottom of your heart. 
“I want to marry you.”
“I love you.”
“What?!” 
“What?!” Once again, you both say it at the same time.
“You want to marry me?” He breaks into a wide smile.
“And you love me?” The words feel so alien to you, you can barely believe your ears, you feel the tips of your fingers shake in excitement, your heart pounds so strongly against your rib cage you can almost hear the thumping.
Jeon Wonwoo just said he loves you.
“I— Are you sure you want to marry me? You said you didn’t want to!”
“Yes. Well— I’ve loved you since forever! So when you said you wanted to marry me just out of responsibility— I was heartbroken! It’s like you were forced into doing it!”
“I didn’t want to marry you out of responsibility! I’ve been planning to marry you since the beginning—“
You choke, “You what?!”
Wonwoo sighs, “I never wanted to marry your sister and she was well aware of that… We were blessed that she found her husband and when everything went well, I thought— I hoped that it’d mean we’d be the ones to be wed.”
Processing every word, you almost feel dizzy. “But you said you’d take responsibility!” 
“For roping you into running away from my party.” 
“Oh.” You’re beyond embarrassed for assuming and above all, for getting so angry you didn’t even let him explain himself. 
“I should’ve been clearer,” He admits.
“No— I should’ve talked to you.”
Wonwoo smiles. “Thank you.”
With tiny tears threatening to fall, you can only confirm what you want to know the most. 
“You love me?”
“Always,” He smiles.
Wonwoo seems to remember something, he raises his finger in a “wait” motion and leans over his desk, reaching for the top drawer. It’s only when you catch a peek of the velvet box that you almost keel over.
Gulping, he gathers his courage.
In his grease-stained coveralls that smells of expensive cologne and lavender cleaning supplies, Jeon Wonwoo gets down on one knee, nervously looking up at your with his stupidly gorgeous beady eyes and an expectant smile.
“Will you marry me?”
And in your least presentable dress, the one he’d ruined with grease stains and an unruly hairdo, you respond with the biggest smile:
“Yes. Yes, I’ll marry you.”
Had you been questioned, there would be an answer to just how long you will love Jeon Wonwoo.
You’ll love him forever. 
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hedgehog-moss · 4 months
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I meant to go admire a frozen waterfall yesterday, but I'm scared of driving on slippery roads so I ended up abandoning my car and my dreams and just wandering about by foot, following random roads.
(These first two photos are a little bit blurry because I took them while walking, but it does give them a certain je ne sais quoi... They look like childhood memories)
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The soles of my boots had zero grip and were therefore great for sliding, so I ended up taking two sticks and using them like cross-country skiing poles to propel myself forward on the iciest portions of the road. It was fun! Pandolf thought I was insane. He was being extremely prudent on the icy patches, testing each step:
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At the beginning of our walk he was prancing as usual but then at one point his front paws slipped forward without warning, turning him into a very long slinky dog. It was pretty funny. I laughed. I admit. He wasn't hurt but definitely a bit vexed.
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We did leave the icy road on numerous occasions, to slip under fences and cross promising pastures (promising = lots of footprints; potential friends.) We met several creatures! Like this adorable shetland pony—I tried to take a photo from afar, with Pandolf nearby for scale, to show how scandalously tiny he was, but that turned out to be impossible because he was too friendly. Every time I took a step back he took two steps forward. Clearly he thought he was even better-looking from up close.
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We also ran into the darling goat I mentioned yesterday, and I was told by several people on here that she looked more like a ewe.
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Sorry for the mistake! But also I tried to look further into this and became more and more confused, as every source that mentioned a foolproof way to tell goats from sheep was disproven by another source—I found one that said sheep had a split upper lip while goats didn't (and my mystery friend didn't), but then another website contradicted it. I ended up with 32 tabs open with photos of goats and sheep of all kinds, some of which looked downright bizarre (what's with the Jar Jar Binks ears), and I began losing my grasp on the concept of animal species altogether. I understood how Darwin must have felt when he tried to figure out the differences between species of barnacles and asked people to send him various specimens and ended up with giant teetering piles of wet smelly boxes full of barnacles in his study that threatened to collapse and bury him alive. Then I closed my 32 tabs.
Honestly ever since learning that some sheep have horns and some goats don't, I've been lost. Not to mention, our mystery girl had a sheep-like tail but a goat-like beard. Are there sheep out there with beards and if yes, how do we make sense of the world? We should be able to point at a mammal with a goatee and say "goat" without doubting ourselves. That's my manifesto.
Whatever she was, the goat-ewe was very sweet, and she baa-ed a lot—at first I thought she was making conversation and I politely baa-ed back, before realising she was calling her horse bodyguards, just in case. Two horses soon showed up from behind a tree, very "What seems to be the problem ma'am?"
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I offered nose scritches to the friendliest of the two and she went to report to the goat like "We've neutralised the threat."
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Let me insert another (blurry) photo of a travelling Pandolf to symbolise the passing of time before moving on to our last encounter:
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... I also had trouble taking photos of this one at first, because she kept coming closer to inspect my scarf—I thought she wanted to explore my pockets for potential treats like Pirlouit often does but no, she was very interested in the smell (texture?) of my scarf specifically.
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The sky had cleared as we went down from 1300 to 1100m, as if we'd slipped under the clouds, so I tried to take a photo of this nice late-afternoon sky, and the horse finally stopped focusing on my scarf and instead started insistently positioning herself between me and my beautiful landscape.
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Look at this lovely golden light in the snow over there which I was almost able to capture!
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Meanwhile her pasture mate was eating a whole broom plant, slowly and thoughtfully, which makes me jealous because my llamas are supposed to eat brooms and they mostly don't, they think they're too good for brooms. They eat the very young ones but not adult brooms, so I have to do the work of three llamas and cut them myself. I wish I could send the Pampses as interns in this pasture, to learn the art of brush-clearing from this wise old horse.
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I tried to take one last landscape photo and gave up when the aspiring model came to pose again.
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Where was Pandolf, you might ask? Pandolf doesn't trust horses, especially large farm horses, and was quietly and insistently trying to convince me to leave. When Model Horse tried to greet him (it looks like she's chasing him but no, she was just stretching her neck to sniff him) he beat a hasty retreat toward the icy road, his former enemy. Some guard dog.
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It may sound like Pandolf didn't have a very fun time on this walk, slipping on ice and running from horses, but don't worry, he found plenty of suitable empty pastures to practise his favourite hobby! Though I think at this point he has moved beyond a hobbyist and is ready to play in professional leagues. He does this thing now where he jumps up a bit to gain momentum; I don't remember him doing this last winter. He's an entirely self-taught dog (in the art of snow diving) and I'm proud of him.
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johannestevans · 11 months
Text
i've been listening to a lot more fat liberationist stuff recently and like...
so obvs i already had some backing in a lot of the basic theory, stuff like institutional anti-fatness in medicine, fashion, travel, etc, but like
so as a really thin guy who's always found it impossible to gain weight, its been unbelievably emotionally and mentally liberating to hear people talking really casually about the disability that's associated with thinness
so like being really thin, you lack additional joint and bone support - if you fall, you have less padding and less STRUCTURE to protect your bones from breaks and fractures, right?
obvs theres plenty of fat people that do have issues with bones and joints, im not saying thsres not, its just that normally i feel like im the lone person saying "being this thin is bad for me and is part of various health problems i also have"
and idk its just like. my whole life i was such a sickly child lmao
like i couldnt stand for long periods except "long period" would often be like. any period. i didnt understand how my peers were just standing for so long and just weathering that, bc to me it wasnt possible at all - i breathed badly, my joints were fucked etc
and looking back and realising as i get more disabled like the extent to which i was similarly disabled in my youth, and how i lacked the language to verbalise or sometimes even recognise my own pain and struggle
but also like
the treatment of me as so evil and lazy because i wasn't exercising, or because like. a PE teacher would pick me out as an example because i was so thin, and then be furious that i wasn't remotely physically fit, and that i was disabled
i remember multiple times esp from cis female teachers just. frothing rage at my diet and the things i ate, or when i wrinkled my nose at talk about diets, bc i was so thin so i had to be doing The Right Things, and if i was that thin and doing bad things i had to be punished
and its bc a lot of these ppl thought of fatness and being fat as a punishment, a target for abuse that people deserved, and bc i was a young disabled trans guy like. i deserved punishment for my laziness and nonconformity, and it became a lot about my weight
like expressing that i wanted to gain weight, that i was cold all the time, that i had no energy etc, that eating was hard but that i enjoyed food, all of that was met with such fuckin aggression and really sharp policing, esp from PE teachers and esp from women
and obvs all that is to do with the way that diet culture particularly targets women and those perceived as women, and the desire to engage in lateral violence to police others into complying with gender roles etc as they were upholding them
but idk like. fat liberationist politics is imo inherently tied up with disability liberation, because of the way that "health" is weaponised as a symbol of being good or deserving, and how fatness and disability are both used as targets and symbols of evil and punishment
MOST OF ALL for fat & disabled people
but for nondisabled fat people disability is often threatened as punishment - if you don't become less fat, you'll (deserve to) become disabled
and for disabled thin people, if you don't act less disabled, you'll (deserve to) become fat
and its not a punishment to be fat or disabled or sick. its just how some people are. its not BAD to be this way - and what makes things hard for us is not something inherent to the badness of our bodies, but instead the lack of kindness and accommodation anybody is willing to extend to them
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heyhihellosworld · 5 months
Text
𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐭
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Lando Norris x reader
Word count: 5.3k
Summary: An innocent round of golf with your friend's friends turns into a wirlwind of emotions and feelings
Warnings: Golf written by a no golf-fan, smut, fluff
Notes: Landoo again... I was going to write it about Charles but then it was golf, and Alex so it became a Lando one again but he has kinda grown on me, not gonna lie. As always it's gone a bit long...
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"Okay, that was just bad y/n" Lily teased, bumping her hip with yours as she went past to gather her ball. "Shut up Lily!" you pouted following her example and picking up the ball that was laid close to the hole but not in it. Typically.
"It's not my fault you haven't trained enough sweetie" she mocked, her expression playful and teasing as you just huffed. "How the fuck have you had so much time training huh? You've been traveling with Alex for months now" you asked, baffled how she could accuse you for not training enough.
"Well we have played together, and even though Alex is not big competition it's still practice, plus some of his friends are slightly better"
"Well I've tried to train as much as possible but you know I have another work" you hummed, slightly envying her lifestyle. "I know y/n and I'm only teasing you, It's just fun to make you envious"
"Yeah it's so fun to stand in the café when you send me pictures of you and Alex on track or when you are swimming, who swims in November?"
Lily giggled as you walked side by side, dragging your carts behind you. Decided it was more fun to walk together than driving a car.
"It's not November cold there, it's hotter than summer so of course we will swim and why not tease you with it?"
"Because it's mean?" you suggested but Lily only laughed, shrugging her shoulders.
"I think it's fine, plus I invite you to come with sometimes"
"I know, but-"
"You work, I understand that" she smiled gently, knowing you needed the money to have a place to live and study.
"Anywaaays" she drawled out, her eyes telling you what she was gonna ask you and you shook your head immideately. "No Lily, don't even suggest it"
"Why not! They are all coming here next week for break, well all that lives in Monaco of course and Alex already invited me for a game, just... join. Once. It could be a nice break from work"
Your head shook through all of her words, telling her no no NO
But she didn't listened, Lily never did. She was stubborn like that.
"Once"
"No, I don't want to meet these people"
"Why not y/n, why not. Also you've already met them!"
"Because-" "Because what?" she interupted making you groan "Because. It would be weird!" you exclaimed, making her giggle
"Is this because of Lando?"
Her eyes gleamed with teasing and laughter. Her tried serious face failing miserably.
"No"
"Oh it is, it is" she giggled, poking you in the side, completely ignoring your deathglare as she continued to giggle
"It's not about him, it just... it would be really awkvard"
"Because of Lando?" "Because of Lando and all the others"
"I think it's more because of a certain brit who slid into your Dm's"
"Well okay that will be awkvard as hell, especially since I didn't even answer" Lily laughed, a light laugh that made you smile even though you didn't want to, this was a seruous thing.
"I think you're fine sweetie" "No I am not going"
-
The chatter continued through the whole round, your play slowly picking up, after all it had been long since you last played a whole round like this.
The one thing that didn't get better was Lily's nagging and by the time you stood at the parking lot, waiting for Alex to pick you up for lunch you were going insane.
"Alex tell your girlfriend to shut up"
Alex's eyes went wide as he looked between you, Lily giggling at him, poking her tongue out at you "he would never"
"You are too cute"
"Wha-what?" Alex stammered out, mouth slightly open as he looked between you.
"She has been nagging me the whole time about going with you to play golf"
Alex's eyes lit up and suddenly you regretted telling him that,
fuck
"That's a great idea! It would be so much fun! They love you!"
You let out a groan, glaring at Lily who clapped her hands together in excitment. You felt yourself bend, giving in to their excitment.
"Fine! Fuck you both because why are you always agreeing with each other but fine I will go on ONE golf round with you and if it's awkvard I will decide what we do for the rest of the year"
Both Alex and Lily giggled together over your words and tone, they had won this time.
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"Why are you nerovus?" Lily smirked as you climbed into her car, already pouting.
"Stop it already, I will walk back in and lock myself with my tv" you huffed not very threathingly but Lily seemed to take your little threat seriously because she stopped the teasing immideately.
"Well you look cute at least" she smiled, patting your leg reasuringly "And I promise it will be fun, they are all cool to be around even if you don't know them too well which by the way is incredible seeming as your best friend is dating a driver"
You smiled at her, shrugging "It just never interested me that much, it's cool sure but I don't really think the men are the interesting part of it"
"I think you can change your mind, they are all nice enough"
"I have met some!" you defended and she sniggered "Yeah right, George because that went so well?"
"Stop it, he will not be there tody will he?"
By her face you knew he would before she hesitantly admitted it, "Maybe he will" she winced and you groaned
"Nooo, Lily! This was awkvard enough with Lando! Now George as well"
"It's fine, he didn't seem to hate you after it" "Lily, do you not remember?! I literally said he looked like a Ken and turned him down when he asked me on a date, that is awkvard as hell!"
"Well it was ages ago, plus he has a girlfriend now, it's fine!" Lily waved you off and you couldn't do anything but to pout about it.
-
"Where is the girls?" Alex questioned as he walked out towards the small group on the green grass, clubs and carts ready, smiles on their faces and caps on top of their heads. It was a sunny day, the warmth burning their bare arms and legs as they waited.
"I haven't seen Lily" George shrugged, it wasn't especially often both Alex and Lily joined the small golf cirlce on the grid but when they did it was always loud complaints because Lily always won.
"Did I not tell you that y/n is joining as well?"
"No bro, what the fuck" Lando murmured, his hand combing through his curls before putting the cap on again. "Fuck it's gonna be awkvard"
"Why would it be awkard?"
"Uh-I I kinda slid into her dms telling her she was pretty and all but she never responded"
An echo of laughter spilled from the group but Lando wasn't amused in the slightest "Welcome to the club man, I think soon all of us has been rejected by her some time in life" "Really?"
"She told me I looked like Ken and I qoute 'no thank you' when I asked her on a date and Carlos here tried to charm her with Spanish but she physically nudged him away and even Charles didn't manage to get her number, but to his defence she was with her ex then"
"So I'm not the only one at least?" Lando hummed, feeling a bit less awkvard at the revealation.
"For sure not" Alex smiled, patting his shoulder as he spotted the girls finally, smiling gently at your nervous look.
-
It went better than expected, nothing too awkvard and nothing horrendous happening even though it's awkvard enough to meet with the three guys you rejected in some ways but they were nice enough to brush it off and have a good time with you and Lily, after all the attempts from both Carlos and George had been a long time ago. What was a dread became a fun afternoon of mixed great and awful swings and laughter.
-
"So, the guys says you've rejected half the grid?"
Lando's voice brought you out of your concentration of watching Alex put. His eyes looking gently at yours, his skin crinkling around his eyes as he smiled wide. "Do they now?" you smiled back, shrugging your shoulders
"I wouldn't say I have rejected all of them, more... lack of interest and all of them have given up straight away. But some I did reject directly, sure"
"Like George?"
You couldn't help but giggle "Like George yeah"
"What about me? Was it a direct rejection or lack of interest?"
The question was sincere, serious and it caught you of guard. You had actually never meant to ignore Lando's dm but after you'd opened it it kind off just disapeared in your memory until it seemed too weird to answer it.
"I guess lack of interest"
"So does that mean you will go on a date with me if I show more interest?"
You grinned, teeth showing as you shrugged with a smile
The idea didn't oppose you, you kinda liked how direct he was, straight to the point. He didn't look bad, not at all. He was extremely hot with his bright smile and brown curls dripping into colourful eyes. You pondered it a little, date? It seemed inocent enough but was it?
Your lips pouted in thought as you met his eyes again "If you win the next hole I'll go to dinner with you"
"Really?" Lando smiled so brightly it made you chuckle "Sure" you grinned, winking at him as you walked ahead.
-
He was not bad, you had to give him that but you were better there was no question about it. However you seemed to slack on this hole, bad first hit-mainly because of Lando's distractions- made it one more swing than Lando in total, something the Brit celebrated in earnest.
He was so happy he could start skipping and it made the blow soften a little. You did want to go on a date with him afterall so in a way it didn't feel like a loss.
The whole round went the same, chatting and joking. Observing the Brit every given second, trying to play it off before repeating it.
It was not subtle but you didn't try to be either. He was nice to rest your eyes on, so you did.
When the round came to an end and you all stood at the parking lot, chatting and joking about the just played round Lando pulled you away slightly, smiling small as he combed his hand through his curls.
"Hey, you think I can get your number?"
Your eyes snapped up to his, lips pulling into a sly smirk. "Sure"
"Really?" he asked with suprise
You laughed softly, shrugging "I did agree on a date did I not? It would seem weird to not give you my number" Lando chuckled "Sure"
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Despite your reluctance to go in the first place it turned out to be a common thing in the next couple of weeks. You felt yourself growing fond of the guys and spending time with Alex and Lily was always fun.
After Lando's win you had decided on a date weeks forward, why so far away you didn't know but apparently it had something to do with his training schedules and something around the topic. You didn't bother.
Regardless you felt a sear of hapiness everytime you saw his brown curls amongst the group. Usually hearing his gorgous laugh before you laid eyes upon him. But the sear of hapiness was nothing against the rumble of disapointment you felt whenever he wasn't there. Trying to mask the disapointment was hard.
He texted you. Every day, especially the days you didn't see him. It made your heart almost skip a beat whenever his name popped up on the screen, grumbling at yourself for the stupid reaction.
To keep it short your heart did sommersaults at the mention of him and it was stupid because you were still practically strangers.
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He looked like a rom-com perfect date. Black dress pants and a dark button up. His curls were styled, not overly much but still enough to not flop around everywhere and he sported a warm, comfortable smile as he waited.
You felt giddy, something you hated but it was inevitable. His face lit up as he saw you striding towards him, eyes glittering in the dim light of the lobby.
"You look gorgous" he smiled, a line you deemed cheesy, something everyone said but it still made your heart skip a beat. Because it was Lando.
"Thank you" you smiled, kissing his cheek softly, loving the way his face flushed at the action, a sudden shyness taking over the usually confident guy.
Lando tried to compose himself as he led you out the door, smiling softly as you jumped into the car.
You had decided for a simple dinner date. Eating at a small comfortable place where you hopefully could be alone to just talk, get to know eachother in private and focus only on you, not the other idiots you called friends.
Lando's restuarant choice didn't disapoint. You had agreed on not going to any fine dining or exclusive super place but a normal cozy place. And he had done well. Booked a private table in a extremely cozy little restuarant. Red velvet sofas with dark wood tables and dim lit candles. It gave a homey feeling and your table seemed to be the furthest away from everyone else's giving you the perfect lone time you could posssibly find in Monaco.
"Wow, I didn't think you would manage this well"
Lando snorted, looking almost offended as you giggled at his face. "What?"
"Well not to bring you down but this is Monaco after all, it's an fine dining country"
Lando tilted his head, that was true and to be completely honest he couldn't take all the credit. He had gotten some, well, a lot of help from Lily and Alex to find the best spot possible for you but you didn't have to know that.
"I'm happy you like it" he said instead, smiling dumbly at you in a way that made you have to smile back.
"I do, it's great" you nodded as he poured up some water in the glass in front of you"
He was so easy to be around, silence never uncomfortable, talk never pushed. It flew naturally like you had known the guy for years. He made you laugh so loudly even the personel seemed to pick up on it, his flattering seemed to make you blush endlessly and his stories made you intruiged.
You loved how easily he was telling you about formula one, how he spoke to you easily about it, not complexing the sport you knew very little about. You loved how he trusted you with more private stories, loving how his eyes turned into hearts as he talked about his family and their support. But what you loved the most was how easy he fell apart under you. One comment and his cheeks turned a deep pink colour, eyes fleeting away from yours as a choked sound made it past his lips with a giggle.
To put it shortly the date was amazing, making you feel the same flutter you had felt every time you had seen his curly head on the golf course or everytime his name had popped up on your phone this last weeks.
It was riddicolous, you knew that but it didn't stop the spiralling feelings and flutter in your tummy.
After a heated discussion about Alex's golfing skills you left the restuarant, sated and full of the warm belly-filling food the place had provided. Lando had blushingly asked you if you wanted to go to his apartment, to 'watch a movie or something' and you had accepted, not caring what that would include or not just not wanting to seperate from him yet.
The walk was short, Lando's laughter filling the air of Monaco and lightning it up as you walked along the darkening streets.
His apartment was nothing short of amazing, not because you had thought differently. He was a formula one driver after all but still. It was a lot bigger than yours, not to bring down your own place which you loved, but this was the next level.
"Wow, this view is fantastic" you mumbled, going straight past him to look at the view of Monaco from his window. He had not put a lot of effort into decorating, something you deemed fine since he barely was here anyway but the space still looked nice. Modern as hell, but nice.
"Wow, just walk right through me why don't you" he muttered sarcastically making you huff out a laugh as you tore your eyes away from the view. "Sorry but this is... remarkable"
"And I am not?"
"Well I can't see the whole of Monaco in you can I?"
"I don't think you have even tried, have you?"
You giggled, poking his chest teasingly as he stood in the open room. His coat and shoes discarded, revealing his great looking button-up once again. "Fuck you look good in this" you hummed, teasing your finger on his first button on his shirt.
"Mhm, is that how it is miss y/n?"
You peeled your eyes off his gorgous shape and looked him in the eyes, the orbs screaming with cockiness and a hidden smirk.
"Been thinking all evening off what's underneath it" you admitted, letting your eyes travel again "I invited you here to watch a movie, but you have such dirty thoughts" he tutted jokingly "Sure" you scoffed, smiling at him
"A movie was what you were thinking"
Lando didn't answer, just gave you a giggly smile you reciprocrated.
His lips met yours in an instant, moving softly and slowly against yours, no hurry just savouring the moment. His lips were soft against yours, following you as you tilted your head slightly.
When you broke apart that was it, no itchy hands on each other no intention to do anything more right now. Both just sated to have shared that. Instead you took a step back. Grinning at the brunette as you walked around the sofa and plopping down in the comfortable furniture. “What’s the movie then?”
Lando smiled, not sitting next to you but leaning over the back of the sofa to get closer to you. “Whatever you want, you choose. Do you want something to drink?”
“Okay, uhm yes please, I take whatever you do” you smiled softly before reaching for the tv remote. Scrolling through the many apps and channels he had to pick a movie.
-
The movie was meh, not interesting enough to take your mind off the guy next to you but not boring enough to stop.
Lando kept on joking with you, straight up teasing you during the movie. Hands moving down your body, not in a overly sexual way but the way he cracked a joke, or a dirty comment made you boil with need and hotness.
It didn't take long until you broke. Shuffling up in the sofa, catching his gaze as you watched him with need in your eyes. His own eyes gleaming with cockiness and success. Watching his eyes were enough, scootching over you straddled his lap, catching him with slight surprise as you pushed your lips against his, needy and rough.
However it didn't take him even a second to respond to the kiss, battling for control, tongues fighting and hands gripping wherever they could reach.
Neediness pooled in your stomach but you kept it in control, not wanting to let him have all the control. "Fuck y/n" he sighed, leaning his head back over the couch as you pulled apart for a moment.
"Bedroom?" he smirked, one eyebrow raising and if you wouldn't want this so bad you would scoff at his expression but it was also Lando, you would not excpect any less from him.
Instead you nodded, letting him lead you to his bedroom which was just as gorgous as his livingroom. Big windows with view over Monaco, a few pictures on the wall and nice furnitures.
However he didn't let you spend a lot of time looking at the decor, instead towering over you, attacking you with his lips.
"I usually don't agree on doing these things on the first date" you hummed against his skin, his smile warming your heart even more. "Well technically I wouldn't count this as a first date because I feel like I know you by now"
You giggled "You are really full of it aren't you?"
His smile was so achingly sweet, made butterflies swarm in your belly and overflow with adoration.
You leaned up, catching his mouth with your again, kissing him slowly and affectionately, hand scratching on his scalp and luring out a soft sound from him which only made your heart beat faster.
Heat bloomed in your stomach, desire to touch him and make him feel good took over your thoughts as you kissed down his jaw, hands gently sliding under his shirt.
His muscles tensed under your cold fingertips, feeling out his sculpted stomach and muscles, gently rubbing over his nipples before trailing down towards his v-line and then back up again.
His mouth had dropped open slightly, eyes following your every move as he breathed hard, small noises tumbling out of him whenever your hands rubbed over his nipples or teased his pant-line, frustration bubbling in the small grunts and huffs as you took your time, feeeling him up, memorizing every part of his skin under your fingers.
When he had had enough he ripped the buttons open in a hurry before tugging it right off his body, throwing it away before he roughly guided your face to his again, wanting, no needing to kiss you.
The kiss was rough, heated and a battle of control. A battle you won as he pulled back and locked eyes with yours. His pretty eyes was glazed over with pure desire, visable in every centimeter of his body. In the way his shoulders tensed, body heaved and eyes glazing over.
You looked as he unbottoned his pants before tugging them off, taking a seat on his bed with an open invation dangling in the air. An invitation you took.
Two short steps and his hands enveloped you, pushing you against his hot body, limbs and breaths entangled as you sat straddled on his lap. His hands ran all over you, ripping your shirt off your body, your skirt bundling up around your hips as they moved against him.
His hot hands settled on your thighs, eyes not seeming able to leave were your panties where showing, sliding against his boxers.
When he met your eyes again you slid off his lap to the floor, loving the way his eyes widened and mouth opened as you settled on your knees, prompting him to sit up better on the edge of the bed.
Hands teasing over his boxers before his patience ran out. Eager fingers pushing yours away to discard the item. You couldn't help but to giggle at him, eyes narrowing him down "Eager much?" "Shut up" he grumbled, visably relived over the freedom he know had.
Your eyes slowly looked him up and down, completely naked in front of you, so easily and comfortable displayed on the bed. Not an ounce of embarrasment or selfconciousness, with all right.
He was gorgous from head to toe, his legs tense placed on the floor, hands gripping the bedsheet, arms flexing his toned muscles, chest heaving, his sculpted body, muscles showing, abs glistening, his face already looking fucked out despite having barely even started. His brown curls were a wirlwind of chaos, eyes looking at you with so much attention and focus, dick standing proudly against his stomach. He looked dreamy. Drool worthy.
When he grunted you realized how long you had been staring at him, clearing your head you stood up only to crawl out of your skirt and brah before dropping to your knees again. Hand immideately reaching for his hard dick.
It was already leeking pre-cum, a result of the teasing you had been keeping up for long now. You jerked him slowly, relishing in the way his eyes fluttered, not knowing where to look, eyes flickering between your newly revealed skin, eyes and to where your hand was currently moving over him.
A groan left Lando's lips as you thumbed his tip, hips jerking to try to savour the feeling but you didn't let him instead leaning forward to lick a bold stripe from base to tip. The sounds he let out was filfthy eyes closing, mouth agape. You could probably cum just looking at him.
"Fuck y/n" he grunted, hips jerking slightly, trying to get your tongue closer to him again and you let him, swirling your tongue over his tip before taking him in your mouth, slowly sinking down until you couldn't anymore.
You set a brutal pace, hand twirling around his base whilst your mouth sloppily worked over his tip, messily running your tongue on the underside of his dick every now and then.
He had lost the little control he had, groaning and moaning without a care, his head thrown back and hips thrusting desperately. You knew he was close without him having to say it and when he started to jerk more promiment you stopped, letting go of his dick with a pronographic pop.
He whined
He fucking whined and you felt like you were on fire. He was so sexy, so fucking sexy and you couldn't let it go. Desperation flowing in your core as you looked up at him, no shields from what you felt.
"Come up here" he whispered, his hand on your cheek guiding you up to his lips, gently flipping you into the matress, his body covering yours. A sudden gentleness taking over the whole sitatuion as he peppered kissed over your body. Moving from face down to your core. Licking over your nipples, gently sucking your skin, licking over your navel, inner thighs. Teasing you just like you had with him, delicate fingers peeling your underwear off.
When his mouth ghosted over your core you jerked, hands finding his curls pulling them like nothing else mattered.
He was skillfull, more so than you had imagined as he ate you out. Tongue moving, fingers holding, lips sucking, murmurs traveling through your body.
You moaned, thighs clenching around his head. The Brit let out a soft chuckle at your reaction, relishing in the way your eyes fluttered and body arched under his tongue but it didn't stop him from diving straight in. Licking and sucking until all you could do was pant.
He didn't let you come, the whimper on your lips disapearing as you bit your lip, hips chasing his mouth, another chuckle. A mocking one.
He didn't have much resolve left, eyes searching yours before positioning himself, gently pushing in as you nodded, too much excitment.
His head in the nape of your neck breathed hard against your collarbone, barely containing the lewd sounds escaping his soft lips, setting a gentle slow pace.
"Ah"
"Fuck baby" he groaned, meeting your hips with his making the friction tenfold. It felt like your head was swimming with emotions, moans you didn't even notice tumbled from your lips, sweet like sugar, filthy as few.
His hands hooked under your legs, drawing you even closer to him, using the hold to go harder, deeper and it felt like you would black out, eyes closing as he pounded into you. Eyebrows frowning in concentration as he tried to focus his thrusts.
"Feel good hm?"
It felt all too much, body squirming to get away from him, away from his thrusts touching your most sensitive places. Away from the overwhelming pleasure but he didn't let you. Just held you in place as he continued and you were positive you would soon start to sob.
"Fuck you take it so good" he grunted, hands tightening on your hips, pace never relenting, you couldn't answer just moan at his words. You couldn't in your life imagine him being this good in bed, nor so good at dirty talk, so hot.
"You close?" he mumbled, his hips starting to jerk slightly as he got closer to his release, keeping a hold on himself. "Hm?" he pushed as you didn't answer him, head spinning. "Yes, yes so close" you mumbled, positively trashing on the soft sheets.
It came fast and hard, blindingly so as you fell over the edge. Body crumbling, mouth open in silent moans. Lando came immideately, loud groans escaping his lips before he could stop himself, eyes dropped close, jaw slack. His eyes burning with pleasure and adoration, curls slick of sweat on his forhead, body heaving. He looked so gorgous you never wanted to forget this, wanting to etch this picture in your brain.
You felt spent to your very core as you relaxed, Lando's body covering yours once again but this time in a soft manner.
Falling asleep had never felt so easy as it did in his arms, his soft calm breaths tickling your cheek, arms wrapped around you thightly.
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"Wow y/n! What has happened with you?" Lily giggled, watching as you did the perfect swing, the ball landing exceptionally close to the hole. "How much have you practiced?"
You grinned at her, raising one eyebrow, shoulders shrugging. "Not that much"
Lily didn't reply but her eyes held so many words you didn't want to reply to. So many questions danced behind her irises, smile saying it all.
"Maybe it's just the extra energy?"
"Don't start" you grumbled, pushing her to make her swing but she didn't, stubborn to say what she wanted to and at this ocassion she wanted to tease you to crumbles. "What, I mean I haven't pointed it out yet but let's talk about hickies huh? What is this y/n, are we back to being teenagers?"
You horrid face made Lily crumble in laughter, almost dropping her cart in the commotion. Your hand instinctively went up to your neck, grimazing as you did so. "That little prick!" you exclaimed, shaking your head as Lily continued to laugh.
When the laughter sobered off you turned to look at her again, a warm smile now etched on her face. "But hey, y/n. I'm really happy for you, he is a great guy and all that matters for me is that you are happy" "Aw, going soft on me now Lils?" "Maybe? I just always wanted what's best for you" she said softly
"I know" you smiled, throwing your arm around her shoulders as you continued walking
"But If you say anything to Alex about this!" you half heartedly threathened making her laugh, head leaning against yours.
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ellmeria · 2 months
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Quick Astro Notes 🍄
— The following are just a few things I've noticed about certain placements (mostly sun). These are mainly based on my experience and observations!
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I will always trust a Libra's judgment. I know they can be indecisive, but that's because they see both sides of the matter. They weigh all the pros and cons of things (they're about balance), so when they finally come to a decision, you know it's for the best.
A Taurus Venus can be obsessed with jewelry. They may not be a fan of buying costume jewelry because they care about quality and longevity. They're the type of people who inspect every nook and cranny of an item before buying it to ensure it is worth their money. They also tend to reward themselves every once in a while and encourage others to do the same! 
A lot of Virgos I know have such a way with words. I love reading notes/messages from them because they are usually well-written and full of substance.
People with Mercury in Aries are never stupid. I know that sometimes they can be loud, and confrontational and hot-headed, a bit insensitive. I get it. I somehow agree based on experience. But stupid? Nope. These people are fast learners, have amazing wit/humor, can explain even the most complicated topics with conciseness and brevity, and are just so quick and good with comebacks. Their brain (and mouth) works so fast that it becomes a double-edged sword.
Leos are magnificient. I have never seen one who's lacking in the appeal department. They know how to dress and carry themselves. I also love their eyes! It's piercing and gives very similar vibes to their animal representation (lion).
I think the 3rd House may also indicate how a person walk. This is because 3rd House rules short travels, and usually, we travel short distances on foot.
Ex: Aquarius risings may walk so fast due to Aries in their 3rd house. On the other hand, those who have Venus/Taurus in their 3rd house may walk slowly.
Capricorn placements are so attractive when they're in their leader mode. They take leadership positions so seriously that even though someone with this placement doesn't have prior experience with it, they still manage to get things done (and do well!). I noticed this with all the cardinal signs, but most commonly with Capricorns.
Cardinal (Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn) and fire signs (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius) always take the initiative. That one classmate who often starts the conversation about the group activity and instigates the planning? I bet they have these signs in their chart.
Every Sagittarius needs a travel buddy, AKA their Gemini friend. They have food to try and places to be.
I have never met a Pisces who does not know how to crochet or is not interested in learning the skill. They really are so creative with their hands and have an eye for beauty!
Most Sagittariuses I know have a healthy work-life balance. They know how to let loose and have fun while maintaining their 0 missed deadlines status. I am listening and taking notes.
People with many planets in the 1st House can be more assertive, have 'louder' verbal and nonverbal expressions (gestures, tones, etc.), and expressing themselves comes naturally to them. Meanwhile, those with planets in the 12th House may be more docile with their approach and have more tamed gestures and expressions.
Pictures were taken from Pinterest. Credit to the rightful owner/s.
♡ 𝓡𝓲𝓪
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astrobiscuits · 4 months
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Astro obs part 10 (mostly Saturn related lol)
🧸 Individuals with Sun trine/sextile Saturn tend to have a great relationship with their grandparents (if they were a part of their life, ofcours). They usually inherit lots of traits from their grandparents
🧸 Sun trine/sextile Saturn people also have a great moral compass and sense of justice. They follow rules and regulations and are well seen in society (unless Saturn is retrograde, then they still try their best to be exemplary, but they might fail from time to time)
🧸 Most Libra Moons i've met went to law school for their university degree
🧸 Saturn in 1st house people tend to look really good when they get older. When they are young, they might often look older than their age, but once their Saturn Return hits them, they age up like "fine wine" from that moment on
🧸 Saturn in 2nd house individuals literally fit the "old money" aesthetic. Often times they come from a wealthy family. If they don't, then they are very motivated to work hard and become millionares. Bonus points if their Saturn is at 28°/29°, as 28° signifies the household degree (being famously known for your family OR in your family) and 29° signifies long-term fame for completing a (often times) karmic cycle and reaping its rewards
🧸 Saturn in 4th house peeps have always felt like the black sheep of the family. Often times they end up abandoning family traditions in the pursuit of following their own individual path. Growing up, they have often felt lonely in their family and shy around people they weren't familiar with
🧸 Saturn in 5th house individuals take their hobbies and passions seriously. They could pursue one of their hobbies/passions as a career later on. Child prodigies tend to have this placement. If there are other planets in the 5th house, those can give hints on the "talent" (but in the case of Saturn here, it's not talent, just hard work)
For ex. Saturn and Venus in 5th house - pursuing art/fashion/make-up/singing/baking sweets as a career
Saturn and Mars in 5th house - pursuing martial arts/race car driving/working out as a career
Saturn, Mercury and Pluto in 5th house - pursuing drama writing as a career
The exception would be for Saturn and Jupiter in 5th house - these people tend to have multiple talents that they could turn into careers
🧸 Saturn in 5th house is also often an indicator of an unhappy childhood. This child felt like a lot of expectations and responsabilites were placed on him by his parents from an early age. Another meaning of this placements would be that Saturn in 5th house children were brought up by their grandparents
🧸 Those with Saturn in 11th house feel more comfortable befriending people who are older than them. They're also not very keen on the latest technologies and prefer sticking to the ideals of the past long gone (aka they love victorian era and prefer to live like they're a gal/man from the 19th century). They also tend to be interested in politics
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🧸 Earth Venuses and the type of chocolate they love:
Taurus Venus - milk chocolate
Virgo Venus - white chocolate
Capricorn Venus - dark chocolate
🧸 Individuals with Chiron in 5th house tend to struggle with infertility issues from a young age
🧸 Uranus in 3rd house individuals prefer taking short-haul flights when travelling short distances, while Uranus in 9th house individuals prefer taking long-haul flights when travelling long distances
🧸 Neptune in 6th house people make great psychologists and psychiatrists!! Often times these people have had a long history of dealing with certain mental illnesses, but instead of wallowing in their pain, they are inspired to help others overcome their own issues. Their capacity to emphasize with people's emotions is heightened, as they tend to relate to many of their client's symptoms. These people are also fit as somnologists (sleep doctors)
🧸 The sad part of Neptune in 6th house is that they often have to deal with stomach issues :( Their digestive system is extra sensitive, so they need to be careful with what they eat
🧸 Wanna know if you're secretly Jewish? Check out asteroids Hebrewu (271763) and Israel (7507) in your natal chart and your family's natal charts. If you find atleast one of these asteroids aspecting the angles (ASC, DSC, IC, MC), Sun or Moon in your chart and your family's charts, then there's a high chance you've got Jewish ancestry
🧸 In synastry, if your Ascendant conjuncts another person's Ascendant (so your house cusps become overlays), it's very likely that you've experienced the same events during your lives. This person would be your mirrored soul, which can prove to bring a great understanding over oneself
🧸 While we're still talking about aspects in synastry, Moon conjunct Chiron is not for the weak ones!! The Chiron person must display a sense of maturity or atleast be emotionally evolved enough to be able to deal with the Moon person. Chiron can trigger Moon's childhood trauma on a subconscious level, while Moon can trigger Chiron's deepest wounds regarding their house's themes. They can either heal each other or wound each other even more. This conjunction requires a great deal of patience and understanding between Moon person and Chiron person
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project-sonadow · 3 months
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My [15M] rival [15/50M] has been weirdly aggressive towards me ever since he lost his memories for the second(?) time. Should I be worried about him trying to kill me again?
Summary
A post on r/relationship_advice by u/Chili_Dog1991
EDIT 1: Stop saying I'm Sonic I'm not.
EDIT 2: Okay I am Sonic. I don't see how that matters.
EDIT 3: Stop trying to figure out which of my rivals this is.
EDIT 4: Stop telling me to contact the police about his attempts to murder me or his age. It's complicated in regards to his age but he's essentially 15 and I can already defend myself way better than the police can in regards to his murder attempts. Also the police would probably try to arrest me too because they're either useless or make things actively worse.
EDIT 5: Stop DMing me to ask how murder attempts can be fun. I shouldn't have to explain this.
EDIT 6: Stop implying I'm a masochist.
EDIT 7: Stop implying I'm an adrenaline junkie. If I just wanted adrenaline I've got tons of other people who could give me that.
EDIT 8: To everyone who actually responded with advice, thank you. I attempted to talk to him about it, we fought again, and it turns out he's been acting aggressive because he doesn't know how to show affection so he just defaults to violence. We ended up holding hands after we physically couldn't fight anymore. It was a great night and I think we're together now.
EDIT 9: Which of you motherfuckers sent this to Tails.
ORIGINAL POST
Hi everyone, using a throwaway account to make this post because my little brother knows my main and the embarrassment would kill me if he ever saw this. 
So for context, I've known this guy for a while now, at least in the context of my life. I've got a pretty hectic life and I'm a traveler, so I've met a lot of people and he's one of the few that's been able to keep up with me. Our first meeting was during a bit of a stressful time because he kind of inadvertently framed me for thievery (we look kinda alike and the police are stupid, it's not his fault but I was pretty pissed at the time) and got me arrested, so we ended up fighting about it in the middle of the street. I'm used to fighting and pretty good at it, so it was a surprise when he turned out to be basically my equal at it, which is pretty rare even among my other rivals. He got the upper hand on me for long enough that the police were able to arrest me again. I was pretty mad but also impressed. Our second meeting was even more stressful because I had just got out of jail after being arrested for the second time, and I was still angry about it so we fought again. I was about to win but then it turned out we were both in danger along with some friends of mine so we both left as fast as we could. Both of these times I could tell he was taking the fight seriously, but I could also tell he wasn't trying to KILL ME kill me. Y'know?
Anyway, in our next meeting he was definitely trying to kill me. Outright said it to my face. I won that fight thankfully, and I'm not even angry about it because a lot of people have tried to kill me over the years and also he has some kind of goal I was getting in the way of, and he didn't even succeed. He ended up changing his mind about that goal though, and when we next saw each other we were on the same side trying to deal with a mutual threat. 
And it was at that point I kind of realized I was in love. I've never really wanted a relationship because I thought it would get in the way of my lifestyle, but with this guy specifically it wouldn't be a problem. I would have told him about it, but then I thought he died and I didn't see him for a while. I wasn't too broken up about it because we only knew each other for a couple days, but I was still sadder than I thought I would have been.
He ended up coming back to life though, and he had lost his memories for the second time in his life (long story I'm not gonna get into) and he didn't really remember me anymore. I know from a mutual friend of ours that he remembered me well enough to be annoyed by my name, which made me irrationally happy, and I think he did end up getting his memories back, but when we first saw each other he definitely didn't know who I was. We fought again, it was a tie, and then we ended up teaming up to take down a mutual enemy again. 
Things have been a bit less chaotic since then. We've fought a couple more times but nothing serious, he's saved my life, I've saved his, you know how it goes. We haven't really talked about anything that happened, but that's fine because neither of us have ever been much for verbal communication and we understand each other just fine. I've tried getting over my crush on him, but that's never really worked because we see each other a lot due to our lifestyles and we have some mutual friends in common, and I like spending time with him anyways, even if we're just beating each other up most of the time.
Personality wise, he's basically my polar opposite, but we get on pretty well despite that. I think aside from my general attraction to danger and his ability to match me in a fight and a race that might be the main thing that draws me to him. I've got a lot of friends, but never one so different from me and yet so similar. He's just always been special to me.
But the main reason I'm making this post is because despite all we've been through, he still acts like we're enemies at worst and temporary allies at best. We fight almost every time we meet unless something less serious is going on, and he's pretty grumpy and mean to me all the time. I like this about him, but it does make me question if he even sees me as anything more than a rival, and I don't know how to ask him because we don't talk about weird emotional stuff. I also think that asking him directly could maybe lead to another murder attempt, which would be fun, but it's not what I'm looking for anymore. I don't mind all the fighting, but just once I'd like to kiss him on the mouth instead of punching his teeth in, y'know?
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cheriladycl01 · 5 months
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Paparazzi - Lando Norris x UniStudent! Reader
Plot: you are a university student in the UK, and the Paparazzi manage to find out where you go and stalk you due to rumors surfacing about.
Credit to nameis-c for the GIF
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It was a pretty shit day at university for you, you were a third year law student who had just come back from an amazing placement with Mercedes as part of their legal counsel.
You'd had so much fun and had worked really closely with Lewis and George. It also was the first year that you were able to travel from the last half of one season, to the 3/4 of the next season.
He was a driver for McLaren, his job and you being a student meant that you guys didn't see each other as much as you'd like.
You had been dating for the good part of 4 years now having met in secondary school and stayed as friends even when he left the school. When you started on your A-levels and he was progressing in his driving career he asked you to be his girlfriend.
Now he was in Formula One and you were about to be graduating university. It had however been difficult, the transition of being with Lando pretty much everyday, and now not seeing him was killing you.
It had taken a tole on you, you had dark circles under your eyes, your nose was red from the cold. Your class hadn't been great either and tears were starting to brim your eyes. You just wanted to get home and cry it out in private.
Lando: Hey Babe, its Thursday so media day today and McLaren are busy! Call me later, love you lots!
The text made more tears brim in your eyes until you heard the snap of a camera. Next you saw the flash.
Your eyes dart up seeing the 5 or 6 people with cameras behind you, following you. You pick up your pace, going towards your specific building on campus where you could hide out with your personal tutor until they left you alone.
You walk into the building into a flurry of students walking around the building pulling the hood of Lando's hoodie up. You make your way to a back stairwell that was quieter than the main one and made your way up the 5 flights of stairs to where your personal tutors room was.
"Michael?" you ask entering the room, nobody was there so you sat on the small little sofa he had at the side of his office. You pull the work bench closer to you, placing your laptop and book down before getting on with some work for your Intellectual Property Module.
Minutes later Michael comes in, a shocked look on his face as he observes you.
"Y/N what are you doing here?" he asks walking past you and taking a seat at his desk, sipping from the takeaway coffee he had just brought.
"I had Paps come onto campus again. And i've had a bit of a shit day" you mumble looking at the email from Lewis asking you to do some research for him if you had any free time.
"Well, you know my door is always open for you"
"That's why i let myself in" you grin at him, already feeling better. He spoke to you for about an hour, while he was doing his own research and marking behind his computer.
"I think its safe to say they've left now" he admits engrossed in something on his computer.
"How'd you know?"
"There's articles already up, some of these headlines. Oh lord they are ridiculous" Michael admits scrolling down on his mouse wheel looking further.
"Huh?" you ask before looking online under your name.
Lando Norris Girlfriend Y/N Y/L/N, Seen Crying On University Campus After Breakup Report Y/N Y/L/N Seen On Campus Crying Is There Tension Between Lando Norris and Y/N Y/L/N On Her First Absent Race Of The Season Lando Norris Cheats On Girlfriend - Her Reaction Is Heartbreaking!
"I'm just going to go home. I don't have the energy to read any of these. Thank you for letting me stay" you admit, packing up your bag and nodding in a goodbye to your personal tutor.
As you exit the building and make your way to the carpark where your Mercedes-AMG SL 63 sat, courtesy of your time at Mercedes for the last year. You now still work for them, but from the Brackley and part-time around your degree.
You get in and let out a long sigh, you pull away getting onto the road driving back to yours and Lando's apartment which was about a 30 minute drive away.
Lando started to call you, the ringtone blaring through the car speakers that your phone was connected to. You hit accept on the screen, your eyes only momentarily wavering from the road.
"Y/N baby, what's up. The articles and the photos of you! You look so sad, what's going on?" he immediately starts grilling you like you'd expected him to when he would eventually see the articles.
"Sorry, I'm in the car right now! I just had a shitty say at uni and i really fucking miss you" you breathe out happy to finally admit it. It was the end of October now and you'd been back at university for a month.
"I know baby, you still planning to come out for the last race, in Abu Dhabi?" he offers, it sounds like he's busy and like he's walking around the McLaren garage. He did say it was media day...
"Erm, ill let you go. Its like midnight there and you have a big day with practice tomorrow" you say, he starts to stay something but you interrupt before he can.
"I love you, goodnight" you say to prompt him.
"Goodnight, ill see you soon" he sighs, he also sounded tired just like you.
You drove the rest of the way home, pulling up in the underground carpark and just sitting there for a few minutes taking in some breaths.
You eventually get out the car and head into yours and Lando's apartment. The apartment was always clean because either you were here or your parents were kind enough to house sit while you and Lando were away.
You did your normal routine for when Lando wasn't here, which was go to the gym, go back and shower, cook food eat food and go to sleep.
You never really had any motivation for anything when he wasn't around.
The next day was a free day from uni, you went to the Mercedes team, everyone could tell that something was up with you. They chose not to say anything and just let you get through your shift. You'd had a cute Good morning text from Lando, asking if you'd slept well and if you'd eaten.
You'd replied, saying yes to both and that you were just catching up on his free practices and that he had really good times, as you'd expected.
But part of you just longed for him to come home.
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clairegregoryau · 6 months
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Through the Looking Glass
From fairytale in Season 1 to stark reality in Season 2 of Our Flag Means Death- meta ported across from this Twitter thread by popular demand!
This thread contains spoilers for the entirety of OFMD Season 2
First OFMD S1 rewatch since S2, and holy shit, if you haven't done that yet... do that. A thing that it made instantly clear: they told us *all along* where this was going, but there was a reason we didn't see it. Because we were living in Stede's world then. Now it's Ed's.
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I know that a lot of us have felt that the tone shift at the end of S2 was... jarring, compared to what's come before. This felt like a show that wouldn't go there. One where being run through was a temporary hiccup. We've travelled all the way from this to this.
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But we haven't jumped there without a journey in between. And from the minute we started hearing about Blackbeard, the show never tried to hide what Ed's world and his specific life was like. Not once. In fact they told us over and over and over.
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But Season 1 told us a lot of those things through song and story and fuckery. It blended reality with fiction.
Stede met the Blackbeard he knew through books and tall tales, and the real man was even more wonderful than he'd imagined.
We, along with Stede, were comfortable thinking that all those other tales were exaggerations and misrepresentations, and a lot of them very likely were.
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The Ed Stede got to know was a person who was capable of whimsy and silliness and loved soft things and doing something weird. Yep, he was also capable of violence and rage, but when he was with Stede, he didn't feel it so much.
This was a vacation from that life.
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To Stede he was absolutely lovely... oh, and also a bloodthirsty killer. And Stede loved (and loves) everything about him, and both of those things can be true. This is a perfect example of a spot where (in watching Season 1 without the benefit of hindsight) I assumed that everyone else in that pub was wrong, and Stede was simply trying to protect Ed's fearsome reputation by agreeing on the bloodthirsty bits. And I think from Stede's perspective that was largely true. I think that's how they wanted us to see Ed, through his eyes. Now, after watching both seasons, I think it wasn't the whole picture.
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They told us, we heard it, we saw glimpses of it. But we (and Ed) were in Stede's run-away-to-sea fairytale the whole time. It wasn't until Stede left that we saw the reality- the Ed we knew had been, to a degree, a fictional character all along. I always saw this scene as Ed putting a bit of distance between himself and reality; it always felt like the Blackbeard of Stede's storybooks was the fictional one. But now it feels like the softer Ed that Stede knew was much the same- neither of them the whole story of who Ed was and is.
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The one person who refused to live in Stede's fairytale was Izzy. I've seen people say it before, but he always gave off that vibe of the only human in the Muppets movie, or the guy who was in Black Sails while everyone else was in Pirates of the Caribbean. He saw the real risks clearly.
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And in that light, the end of S1 has shifted an inch to the left for me, and I'm seeing it at a slightly different angle.
Izzy ripped away the healing Ed was doing, but in some respects he did it by tearing away the fairytale we'd all been living in, shoving Ed back into the Blackbeard story.
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And that's where we pick up again in Season 2.
The fairytale reference came back in S2 in two notable places, those being Jim carrying that legacy forward in the darkest times, and in Izzy invoking the wooden boy against Ricky's efforts. Stede's made himself into a real boy. Ricky, nope.
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Now that I've watched both seasons together, the tone shift doesn't feel so jarring at all, actually.
It feels like sliding through the looking glass, out of Stede's world, and into Ed's- a world that existed all along; we were just seeing it, la vie en rose, through Stede's eyes.
At the beginning of S2, Stede's gone, and we're seeing it unfiltered through Ed's reality.
But Stede wasn't lying when he said he loved everything about Ed. He made a promise to come back and find him- he went down into Ed's darkest place and reminded him that no matter how bad things got, there WAS someone waiting for him, ready to love him.
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The contrast between S1's fantasy and S2's reality (excluding mermaids and actual bird guys and cursed coats) is stark, but it really is that.
We have the same settings, the same people, and very different ideas and outcomes at different times.
But it was always there.
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Things do come back to a state of (precarious) balance once they're all together. Apologies are made, whether they're spoken out loud or through actions. Things go right, things go wrong. Healing happens. Izzy continues to have the steadiest, most real through-line in the story as he tracks toward redemption, finds acceptance, and to an extent finds himself.
Once again, I hate that they went here with the ending and I wish they hadn't. But it got a fraction easier for me looking at it not as a continuation of Stede's fairytale, but of the grounded-in-pirate-reality arc Izzy was always on, even while we lived in Stede's world.
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Where does that leave us? We're not going back to the fairytale, but we're not going to be living in Black Sails for S3, either. We've hit a fusion point where S1 ended with each of them going to separate, miserable homes, but S2 ended with them in the same place, ready and willing to make a go of it.
Season 3 is going to give us their world, together.
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I LOVED the moments in this season where the deep emotions were in balance with the silliness I've always adored about this show. Eps4-6 were wonderful like that. Clearly we're not done with drama, either, but like Ed and Stede, I think we'll find a middle ground.
Anyway in conclusion, a rewatch of S1 after S2 somehow made me love the first season even more, which felt impossible? It's now gained /even more/ layers of depth than it had before. No matter how you feel about S2 I think it's worth that rewatch.
Adding one more bit of clarity for myself: I think we got a bit (intentionally) seduced in S1 by the idea that the Ed of the storybooks, the Vampire Viking Clown with the nine guns, was a version of him that others saw, when Stede saw the REAL person who 'worked' for Blackbeard.
In hindsight I think it's clear the Ed Stede go to know was also not the complete version of himself- the reality is, there's a whole spectrum between the two, and they've landed in the middle of it now. Ed intentionally leaned into the unlovable Kraken image to protect himself.
It very much didn't work, just like being just... Edward hadn't worked to protect himself, either. This season has been very much about pulling those two extremes together and finding all the parts that make up Ed overall (another thread on that here on Twitter, which I'll also shift across to Tumblr soon!)
And I think one of my favourite things in S2 has been seeing the way Stede SEES that- he knows what Ed's done, everyone's told him, but he still loves Ed. sees his trauma and how it affects him, and believes he's a good man regardless. He IS lovable; he's not forever broken.
And together, they can heal.
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