#i've also noticed the way i speak changes depending on which one i'm talking to

[dootznbootz]

Odysseus was afraid the entire year on Aeaea in the Odyssey.

Content warnings: Rape, Sexual Coercion, Sexual assault, Sex Work, power dynamics, this will also be long as fuck as I talk too much. This is NOT a "Circe the Goddess Hate Post". I call her out but that's it. I tried to keep this neutral but still making a point (Let me know if I gotta put more)

Lots of lovely folks on here have written great essays on what Calypso did to Odysseus as it's soooo blatantly obvious there. It literally states how he cried every day and how he flinched from Calypso, very straightforward on how he was explicitly raped.

But I've noticed that a lot of people are always iffy about Circe's situation (understandably so, it's not so in your face.) She's usually always mentioned in the "Odysseus never cheated! He was raped!" posts but then the evidence is only ever given against Calypso, and then mentioning how you can't say no or disobey the orders of an immortal and how it was in exchange for freeing his men.

WHICH IS ALL CORRECT!!! But!!!

There ARE immortal/mortal couples who genuinely love each other. Dionysus and Ariadne, and Eros and Psyche are examples. Apollo and Hyacinthus. Psyche indeed becomes immortal eventually and in some versions, both Hyacinthus and Ariadne do too. But even while mortal themselves, their immortal lovers still remained respectful and loving towards them and definitely doted on them. There are definitely power dynamics at play here but there's some nuance.

Odysseus and Circe's relationship, however, is very different. We all know he slept with her at the very least once. And that was in exchange for his men being returned to humans. That was the only time it was explicitly stated. With Calypso, it tells you every night he was enchanted and slept beside her. It was the narrator speaking but Odysseus is the narrator now and it's his story. If you think he lied, this probably won't change your mind anyway.

But even if it was a one-time thing, (which isn't the only interpretation and I will have points that talk about others) then why did he stay a year? What was he doing?

I'm doing a deep dive into the year he spent on Aeaea based on evidence in Book 10 and then the beginning of Book 12. Step by step, and honestly I'm writing this for Tumblr, not as a thesis so I will be a bit more casual but still using sources. To me, it's very obvious that he was uncomfortable throughout the text simply based on the language that is used. But it's very subtle and not an outright statement of "He's been crying every day."

BTW, just so we're clear, this is not a "Circe is the root of all evil, etc." type of post.

This isn't meant to villainize her. She's an immortal being and in mythology that changes things. Everybody is morally gray. I genuinely think if we were to ask her feelings on it, she'd probably be like "Oh, yeah! Turned his men into pigs! Strange little man he was." I don't think she gave a flying fuck.

I just simply get pissed tf off when people think Odysseus was fine. It honestly disturbs me how often I'll go on other websites YouTube and see everyone call him a whore and a womanizer. It's sexism at its finest because 1.) "MaN AlwAyS wAnTs sEx" and 2.) women can't rape/coerce. THIS IS SIMPLY TO LOOK INTO HIS FEELINGS ABOUT IT.

This is also only for Homer's Odyssey, using different translations. If you want to discuss this, (I'd be happy to! Just be nice!) DON'T BRING UP ANY OTHER WORKS.

With all that out of the way, come yell with me 🤗

I've read multiple translations, as I know there's going to be bias depending on who's translating. And having done so, each one has basically the same situations described the same so that's nice for consistency. Also, there are some parts in the story that are vague and that we'll never have answers to.

Odysseus first simply sees the smoke from her chimney and then sends his men in, after drawing lots Eurylochus leads half of the men to check out the house. I mentioned here vaguely how the 2 immortals he sleeps with are both introduced while singing and weaving, which could be seen as an enchantment (which to me is most likely. They both possess magic and are goddesses). So I'm just gonna move past that. Just take a peek and come back or just know that enchantment was likely.

Next, I'll see people often joke on Tumblr about how

"Odysseus says that Polites is his best friend yet only mentions him once!"

I think Odysseus mentions his best friend, the one to jubilantly go in first, to show WHY he would go through with this. How much these comrades mean to him. That's his best friend, and there are approximately 20 others who are now pigs as well. Could you knowingly leave one of your best friends to live a life like that knowing you could've done something?

[...]Circe—and deep inside they heard her singing, lifting her spellbinding voice as she glided back and forth at her great immortal loom, her enchanting web a shimmering glory only goddesses can weave. Polites, captain of armies, took command, the closest, most devoted man I had: ‘Friends, there’s someone inside, plying a great loom, and how she sings—enthralling! The whole house is echoing to her song. Goddess or woman—let’s call out to her now!’ So he urged and the men called out and hailed her. She opened her gleaming doors at once and stepped forth, inviting them all in, and in they went, all innocence.

(Fagles, Book 10)

In the Odyssey, it's never mentioned why she turns people into animals. I think they were turned into pigs because, throughout the Iliad and Odyssey, Odysseus is often associated with boars. His men are associated with him, therefore: 🐖 Piggy. From what we know, the lads were just eating her food. With how much Xenia and hospitality are a large part of the story, they probably thought they were safe. They were GUESTS. This is especially welcome after the Cyclops and the Laestrygonians. And it literally says "All innocence". They were simply naive.

Then Eurylochus runs back, so terrified that he couldn't speak at first. He then begs Odysseus to just leave the men behind. Odysseus has shown that he does TRY to save his men when it is truly not reckless to do so.

But I shot back, ‘Eurylochus, stay right here, eating, drinking, safe by the black ship. I must be off. Necessity drives me on.’

(Fagles, Book 10)

Then the famous warning from Hermes. I've seen folks bring this up when talking about this. YES, he is literally commanded by Hermes to not refuse her if he wants his men back in basically every translation. It sounds like Circe was warned as well. When? We don't know, but it sounds like Hermes didn't pick "sides" here.

Strange that he was still like, "Sleep with each other" to both, because he could've been like, "Circe, there's this guy named Odysseus. When he comes to this island, change his men back." But who knows, maybe it was Circe's idea from the beginning and Hermes went along with it. Just food for thought.

Now here’s your plan of action, step by step. The moment Circe strikes with her long thin wand, you draw your sharp sword sheathed at your hip and rush her fast as if to run her through! She’ll cower in fear and coax you to her bed— but don’t refuse the goddess’ bed, not then, not if she’s to release your friends and treat you well yourself. But have her swear the binding oath of the blessed gods she’ll never plot some new intrigue to harm you, once you lie there naked— never unman you, strip away your courage!’

(Fagles, Book 10)

But that doesn't explain why he was there for a year afterward! Nor if he himself was okay with it, which is what I'm trying to delve into as he wasn't.

Also the knife thing? She's still immortal. It was meant to startle her. Her dad is Helios. Odysseus would've been toast, literally.

Also note this exchange wasn't a "Yippee! Hermes says I'm going to get laid!".

...just approaching the halls of Circe, my heart a heaving storm at every step, paused at her doors, the nymph with lovely braids— I stood and shouted to her there. She heard my voice, she opened the gleaming doors at once and stepped forth, inviting me in, and in I went, all anguish now …

(Fagles, Book 10)

Another translation by Ian Johnston, (they all say the same thing essentially but trying to make a point.)

I continued on to Circe’s home. As I moved on, my heart was turning over many gloomy thoughts. After I had walked up to the gateway                                                of fair-haired Circe’s house, I just stood there and gave a shout. The goddess heard my voice.                      She came out at once, opened her bright doors, and invited me inside. I entered, heart full of misgivings.

HE👏WAS👏SCARED! The tone is solemn and suspenseful. He was just told that without Hermes' help with the root, he wouldn't be able to survive and bring back his men. Circe was dangerous.

He made her swear not to harm him.

Straightaway she began to swear the oath that I required—never, she’d never do me harm—and when she’d finished, then, at last, I mounted Circe’s gorgeous bed …

(Fagles, Book 10)

Please note that she NEVER promised that to his men. His comrades did NOT have moli in their systems. He had no way of truly ensuring their safety in any way from Circe.

He then refuses to eat or speak, literally "lost in grim forebodings". If he "just got laid", then why isn't he happy? Not many men can say that a goddess CHOSE to have sex with them. He did it to get his men turned back. It was an exchange. I don't think Circe is "Evil" so maybe it slipped her mind. Or yes, she could've thought, "Hey, I got what I wanted. He's handsome enough. Homer never shuts up about how hot this guy is He hasn't brought up the pigs yet. I'll just let this play out. Maybe HE forgot. I don't have to do anything." We don't know. But Odysseus probably felt like he got deceived.

"Hey, I did my part of the deal. I slept with you. Now do yours."

She pressed me to eat. I had no taste for food. I just sat there, mind wandering, far away … lost in grim forebodings. As soon as Circe saw me, huddled, not touching my food, immersed in sorrow, she sidled near with a coaxing, winged word: ‘Odysseus, why just sit there, struck dumb, eating your heart out, not touching food or drink? Suspect me of still more treachery? Nothing to fear. Haven’t I just sworn my solemn, binding oath?’

So she asked, but I protested, ‘Circe— how could any man in his right mind endure the taste of food and drink before he’d freed his comrades-in-arms and looked them in the eyes? If you, you really want me to eat and drink, set them free, all my beloved comrades— let me feast my eyes.’ So I demanded.

(Fagles, Book 10)

He doesn't trust her despite what she had told him that he should when they sleep together. He has figured out that while she will not hurt him, his men were not a part of that oath, the men he was trying to protect in the first place.

She is then moved by how they rejoice when they see one another again. While turning people into animals for funsies isn't cool and coercion is fucked up, I think she comes to see this group as not quite friends but I think she did find them entertaining in a way.

This is very strange but I've seen some folks say that since Odysseus was pissed at Eurylochus for still not believing him about Circe is proof that "Oh he was trying to defend her!". Which??? Uh, Eurylochus was literally questioning his leadership as a whole. Calling him reckless and shit. He is captain and he's the King, he can't let that shit slide. The text literally says "Mutinous". Also if I had to sleep with someone I did not want to especially if it was to save my friends and I got called names afterward I'd get fucking pissed too.

Only Eurylochus tried to hold my shipmates back, his mutinous outburst aimed at one and all: ‘Poor fools, where are we running now? Why are we tempting fate?— why stumble blindly down to Circe’s halls? She’ll turn us all into pigs or wolves or lions made to guard that palace of hers—by force, I tell you— just as the Cyclops trapped our comrades in his lair with hotheaded Odysseus right beside them all— thanks to this man’s rashness they died too!

They stay a year. Again it's never stated that Odysseus slept with her that whole time. You could interpret that. (Honestly, I feel Circe would get bored with him? She's a goddess, she's got more important matters than mortal men. And she definitely doesn't love him.)

His men DO have to bring it up that "Odysseus has forgotten his native land." Maybe they thought they could sneak out without her knowing??? I am fucking REACHING but hold on as Telemachus did because he knew Nestor would well, be Nestor and try to coax him with "Have a meal with us! Let me tell you about how badass I used to be in my youth." But to sneak away from a goddess? Without her permission? That won't end too well. Aeolus in the beginning kicked out Odysseus when he tried to ask for another bag of wind. If she didn't want him around, she could literally boot him out. While she didn't force him to stay like Calypso did, she didn't "release" him either.

We don't know if they've been asking for a long time. Odysseus does say to Circe that they have been begging him nonstop, but he could also be saying that to try and convince her. He's good at persuasion. I think while he knew he could rely on her for food, shelter, and good advice, he still didn't feel...SAFE with her. I think he was possibly avoiding her personally.

I think HOW he asks her to leave is important to know as well.

...but I went up to that luxurious bed of Circe’s, hugged her by the knees and the goddess heard my winging supplication: ‘Circe, now make good a promise you gave me once— it’s time to help me home. My heart longs to be home, my comrades’ hearts as well. They wear me down, pleading with me whenever you’re away.’

(Fagles, Book 10)

Throughout all of Homer's works, the characters grasp another's knees when they are desperate and are literally at the other person's mercy. Priam did when begging Achilles for Hector's body back. The man who literally killed his son and was defiling his body by dragging it around. Leodes grabs Odysseus' knees to beg for his life before Ody kills him. If he saw her as a friend, and not a captor, WHY DID HE FEEL THE NEED TO BEG IN ORDER TO LEAVE?! No one, who is in a healthy relationship, has to BEG for permission to leave. Or to "Break up", if you interpret them as still sleeping together.

And even Circe acknowledges that he is there against his will!

‘Royal son of Laertes, Odysseus, old campaigner, stay on no more in my house against your will.

(Fagles, Book 10)

[...]Odysseus, man of many resources, scion of Zeus, son of Laertes, don’t stay here a moment longer against your will

(A.S. Kline, Book 10)

This is probably another reach that you can ignore but the whole "they wear me down", could be trying to appease her. "Look, you're REALLY cool, it's actually my crew that wants to leave hahahah please don't kill them"

I mentioned before how Telemachus snuck away from Nestor but that was simply out of necessity because he needed to go home now. Not rest for the night. NOW. Nestor is just everyone's grandpa. Menelaus kind of talked more but Telemachus is very straight up in "Please I have to go now" and Menelaus immediately got things ready for him. He never has to beg and clasp his knees. Telemachus was never afraid. Menelaus is a fun uncle and Helen is your cool auntie.

Back to Circe! She tells him instructions for the underworld, they were in her bedroom. But that might've been the only way to speak with her. As even Penelope is usually away from the suitors when they are in her halls, Circe may have done the same. The text never states she played hostess physically. If she was hosting in the halls during the day, why did Odysseus wait until night to talk to her? He could've just asked her while she was on her throne in front of everyone. (He did so with the Phaeacians)

Or maybe he went alone because she only swore an oath to not harm him and so he didn't want his men near if she decided she didn't want to let them go. I could be missing something here so feel free to say something. Idk if this was a pride thing on how "I don't want others to see me beg".

She has info he needs in order to go home as well. She tells him to go to the Underworld.

She gave him new fine clothes and put on pretty clothes herself but that doesn't mean they had sex. Nausicaa gave him nice clothes as well but he never slept with her.

Then he leaves. Immediately. Not even doing a headcount as he didn't realize one of his men had died. (That was negligence on his part but he wanted out) He booked it, to the UNDERWORLD BY THE WAY. Circe even had to sneak the animals he needed for the sacrifice. Odysseus even basically said "She's a goddess. She can do things mortals can't" at the end of the book. And it almost feels...Numb? Solemn? Neutral? Gives a "It is what it is" vibe.

But Circe got to the dark hull before us, tethered a ram and black ewe close by— slipping past unseen. Who can glimpse a god who wants to be invisible gliding here and there?

(Fagles, Book 10)

She’d slipped past us with ease, for who can see a god move back and forth, if she has no desire to be observed?

(Johnston, Book 10)

She's a goddess. She has magic. She can do whatever the fuck she wants.

NOW ON TO BOOK 12!!! That was long! GET A SNACK AND WATER! LUCKILY THIS'LL BE SHORTER!

In Book 11, Odysseus swears, upon all his loved ones in Ithaca, to Elpenor that he'd give him a proper burial as he's been "unwept, unburied". So in Book 12, he sails back to Aeaea to fulfill his promise.

But you know what's funny to me?

He didn't tell Circe he was there.

He didn't even go to greet Circe himself. He sent his men to go get Elpenor's body.

The biggest clue that he didn't love/trust her is that if she was his "Affair partner" then why not go see her for "one last night together"?

SHE came out herself and pulled him aside to know what happened and then gave more advice.

I dispatched some men to Circe’s halls to bring the dead Elpenor’s body. [...]

Nor did our coming back from Death escape Circe— she hurried toward us, decked in rich regalia, handmaids following close with trays of bread and meats galore and glinting ruddy wine. [...]

But Circe, taking me by the hand, drew me away from all my shipmates there and sat me down and lying beside me probed me for details

(Fagles, Book 12)

In every translation, it talks about how he sits, and she lounges/lies down. That's not sex 🙃 In some translations, it even says he tried to be with his shipmates but she pulled him away!

So we lay down and slept beside our ship’s stern cables. But Circe took me by the hand and led me away, some distance from the crew. She made me sit, while she stretched out beside me on the ground. 

(Johnston, Book 12)

Then, she gives advice about the sirens, Charybdis, Scylla, and her father's Cattle. He tries to ask if he could save all his men. She scolds him for even thinking he could try. He again books it out of there.

I think we all know it wasn't "love". But I think a lot of people think Odysseus was willing and happy with whatever this was. "Friends with Benefits", if you will. I guess you could see it that way but I will say that makes me feel itchy with the whole power dynamic and fear. I don't think folks who have that arrangement have to beg on their knees to ask if they can leave though.

I mean the entirety of Book 10 gives me the vibes of "Laughing uncomfortably because you don't want to upset the other person". To just grin and bear it.

A lot of this was just putting the text here and picking it apart step by step. What you do with this is up to you. It's rambling while banging pots and pans together.

Maybe you see him as drugged the entire year and still sleeping together, as the moli "wore off". Even then, just because her magic can't affect him, there are plenty of natural concoctions that can be created that can affect mortals.

Maybe you see the entire year as sex work in exchange for shelter and food.

Maybe he was just alongside his men the whole time under her roof and was avoiding her after the exchange. After he got asked by his men to finally leave, he would start to walk up to that room only to freeze and turn around, thinking "One more day won't hurt. Should wait until I know she's in a sympathetic mood".

I beg of you, however, PLEASE understand that there was fear and coercion throughout his entirety on Aeaea. He wasn't staying to get laid. While there is so much going on and too many things that are left vague to really know exactly what happened, it is consistent that he was scared/numb. Lots of people go through with things they don't really want to do just to appease others. There are plenty of situations of sexual trauma where one person goes through something and the other has no idea the other person isn't okay. ESPECIALLY WHEN SOMEONE CAN HARM THE PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT AT ANY MOMENT!

Sexual trauma is a very complicated thing and while he was scared, he definitely wasn't as traumatized by her as he was by Calypso. Calypso was a torturous hell while Circe was a year of walking on eggshells. Not comparable but I still think it should be acknowledged. It's wild because I read the Odyssey and kept thinking "Y'all are calling the sex slave a cheater? The guy who slept with a goddess to get his men back? The ultimate simp apparently doesn't love his wife??"

Things I'm adding that shouldn't affect the argument as it is not in the Odyssey but I want to mention as it's a "fun fact": Odysseus' dad was an Argonaut. Laertes probably met Circe as well, (or knew of her) with the whole purifying thing and maybe Odysseus heard his dad tell stories of her. Later myths also have Circe with the habit of turning her crushes (or their lovers) into something with Scylla and Picus.

In conclusion, Yeah, he was afraid of her. At least to an extent. And don't pull the whole "Ancient men didn't get raped". Male victims exist and deserve compassion for what was done to them and women are capable of sexual abuse. If you think otherwise, you are not a true feminist and Fuck you. I said in the beginning this'll be casual and I don't wanna write a fancy ending. You can still think Circe is neat but you have to know that this was fucked up.

If you think a lot of this is bullshit or wanna give more context or wish to yell with me but still know he wasn't alright on Aeaea, cool. If you want to point out mistakes or something I should keep in mind with interpretations then feel free to say so but give text evidence. If you try and bring up the Telegony and/or Madeline Miller's Circe, fuck clean off. This is Homer. If you call Odysseus a whore and not the malewife he canonically is I'll start biting. 😤

#feel free to add thoughts! just be nice #Was a bit afraid to post this but now I don't care lol #I'm a tired bitch #Youtube and idiots on tumblr got me acting up. #This may be too thorough but idc. #idk why the colors get weird #I don't know how other people can see all these things lined up together and not see how he was not okay. #like I said you can still like circe the goddess but know this was wrong! #might make private sometime but fuck it #anti-madeline miller #Circe the goddess is “fine”. Circe the book is not #It sounds like it does her dirty anyways. Odyssey Circe would take book Circe out back and beat the absolute shit outta her. #As another Madeline I'm ashamed. #if you bring up the tele-GONE-y then BEGONE yourself #odysseus #the odyssey #odyssey #circe #tagamemnon #tw rape #tw sa #tw sex assault #crying shaking throwing up #greek mythology #circe rant #odyssey rant #anti madeline miller #anti circe #the BOOK #Mad rambles

[astro-enthusiast]

Solar Return Observations 1.0

Hello, I'm so excited to write this post! Today I will provide an overview of my most recent solar return chart and how the year manifested for me.

For extra background, this was my 12th house profection year (ruled by Jupiter) and it was just as messy as the astro girlies predicted. 0/10 would recommend. Due to this being my 12th house protection year, I assumed it would be pretty low-key. But, my Leo ascendant had other plans. Note: these observations were made using Tropical astrology and Placidus house system!

Leo Ascendant at 24 degrees: talk about being in the spotlight. To an uncomfortable degree, the focus really was on me this year. What I could do, what my talents are, and undivided attention. For an introvert like myself, this was superrr uncomfy!! Idk how y'all do it. But this was a year where my creativity was able to shine. I spent a lot of time with kids and nurturing my own inner child.

Taurus Sun in 9th house (conjunct mercury, NN and MC): I started and stopped college this year. Apparently I needed to go back to be reminded of how much I despise it. Much to my dismay, I did little to no traveling this year. But these planets are all in Taurus so perhaps that can make them stationary? Sun conjunct NN made it to where my entire being was exactly what I needed to be. I just needed to stand tall and confident (Leo ASC) in who God created me to be.

Speaking of God, with this being my 12th house protection year, I started going back to church, volunteering my time and resources, and standing stronger in my spirituality. I would have NEVER made it through this year without this!

Aquarius Pluto in 6th house square Taurus Sun: I thought I was gonna d*e like a thousand times when I seen this aspect/placement. Y'all I was scurred, but still I rise! This year was certainly strange. At times it felt as if I was my own worst enemy. Battling inner battles every moment of the day. I joked that each week I was a new person, but honestly, this was the truth. Pluto doesn't let you stay the same. My routine changed a lot this year and I ended up working in a career I have never even considered! I also started posting on social media a lot more and even made a YouTube channel!

Cancer Moon conjunct Cancer Mars in 11th house: this also frightened me. I'm a natal Cap moon so to give me a Cancer moon?! Baby, idk what to do with this...but we made it work! My energy levels were very much dependent on my mood and emotions so that was icky. My relationship with my mother pretty much carried me through this year. In whole signs, this moon is placed in the 12th house which I found very interesting as my mother suffered some mental health issues and had to go away for a bit. I did partake in more social gatherings this year, although I won't say I necessarily gained more friends. Friendly gatherings felt more purposeful and I felt much less anxiety compared to what I would typically feel.

Scorpio IC: a majority of my transformations took place at home. I would go to sleep and energetically wake up a completely different person.

Taurus Mercury square Leo Ascendant: the way I articulated myself was in direct contrast with the way I presented myself. My appearance was very bold and hard to ignore, but my voice was very soft-spoken, yet straight to the point. I also noticed that people expected me to be one way, but when I opened my mouth and was a straight shooter, it took people aback, Like yeah, you weren't expecting me to be a bad*ss were you? Also Sun conjunct Mercury and Mercury conjunct Uranus so I stood on business!

Aries Chiron at a Leo degree: You know what's worse than being projected into the spotlight? Being in the spotlight, but cringing the entire time because you don't want people to see who you truly are. Flaws and all. This was how this placement manifested for me. I've always struggled with self-acceptance but the universe really said it's time to tackle this head on! Not an easy feat...

7th house Pisces Saturn at a Leo degree: Dang, Leo energy was on me bad this year! Well, I experienced my first committed romantic relationship with a Pisces Rising! It only lasted a few months, but the levels of delusion were insane. Definitely someone I shouldn't have been with to begin with, but you don't know unless you try, right? Saturn sextile my NN and Sun, so it was for character development hahaha.

10th house Gemini Venus at Leo degree: I've had this placement in plenty of my Solar Returns and each time I thank God it's only for a year. But it's a cute lil placement for the time being. With Venus in the 10th house, I found it very easy to charm people and get on their good side. Especially after just one conversation. I didn't have any love triangles cause I don't play that, but I did have quite a few people tryna be my boo...Venus square Neptune added to the delusion I had going and Sextile Chiron helped me to heal relationship issues and my relationships with women! Ooh, Gemini rules the hands and I created a lot of beauty this past year! Especially on the internet. I was also incredibly loved at work. People bringing me gifts and buying me food regularly. I could get used to this lol.

10th house Taurus Uranus conjunct MC: drastic and unexpected changes in my career and reputation. One minute no one knew me and next minute I'm Ms. Popular?? Okay, popular for ME lol. I was nervous in my career because I was doing stuff I had never done before. My job seemed fairly stable and chill. I appreciated this vibe greatly.

These are some of the placements/aspects that stood out to me this last year. Feel free to shed some light on your personal experiences with these placements either natal or solar return. :)

Please do not under any circumstances copy, rewrite, reword, or repost my work without crediting me.

#astrology #astroblr #astro observations #astro notes #solar return #solar return chart

[thelingodingo]

Haikyuu Characters' Informal & Formal Speech

Something I find interesting about different languages and cultures regarding sociolinguistics is the entire idea of formality. Of course, there are ways to sound more formal/polite in English and ways to sound more informal/rude depending on word choice (synonyms). But with a language such as Japanese, it's the grammatical structure itself (verb endings, vocab) that changes to convey varying levels of formality.

An example would be:

大丈夫? (informal) vs 大丈夫ですか？(formal) = Are you ok?

daijoubu vs daijoubudesuka

これは本だ (informal) vs これは本です (formal) = This is a book.

korewahonda vs korewahondesu

In a school setting, the younger grades (kohai) will use formal speech with the older grades (senpai) as well as teachers: meaning 1st years will be formal to 2nd and 3rd years, 2nd years will be informal to 1st years but formal to 3rd years, and 3rd years can be informal to both 1st and 2nd years.

This is easily shown in basically any anime but this post will focus on Haikyuu since it's the one I'm most familiar with.

Karasuno: Kageyama and Tsukishima definitely hold a very high level of politeness towards their senpai as they always speak formally towards them and also always call them "full surname-san" (Azumane-san instead of Asahi-san, Sugawara-san instead of Suga-san, Sawamura-san instead of Daichi-san, Nishinoya-san instead of Noya-san). It makes sense for them since in general their personalities are quite strict and rigid. Hinata also speaks formally to his senpai but calls them by their more usual names (Daichi-san, Suga-san, etc) and he tends to forget to speak formally out of sheer excitement (not because he's trying to be rude) so he ends up adding on the formal desu copula to quickly change his informal sentence to be formal at the last second. You might think that Tanaka and Nishinoya are pretty relaxed when it comes to formalities due to their crasser personalities but I would actually say it's more the opposite. They're both characters that really like upholding the entire senpai-kohai relationship and it shows in that they are always respectful to the 3rd years and use formal speech (it's also shown in how they both loveee being called senpai and specifically Nishinoya's relationship with Asahi). They still call the 3rd years by their more common names so they aren't as rigid as Tsukki and Kageyama when it comes to names though. The scenes in season 1 when Noya and Asahi were fighting (specifically the storage room fight) were surprising in particular due to Noya changing to informal speech while arguing with Asahi (his senpai).

some other random formalities I've noticed in the other characters: as mentioned in the anime, Kenma doesn't like any of that hierarchy stuff which is why Hinata is able to continue comfortably speaking informally to him even though Kenma is a senpai. The shock and immediate apology of Hinata when he finds out Kenma is older than him is sensible in the cultural context since there are many people who would get quite offended and angry if a kohai were to be speaking informally towards them. Although Kenma is never shown directly talking to any 3rd years (other than Kuroo, which he speaks informally to since they're childhood friends), I assume he would still speak formally since even though he doesn't find formal speech necessary he would still be aware that others would care about it. When it comes to Mad Dog, a small part of me expected him to be completely informal to everyone since those kind of characters are usually like that in anime but he still keeps a pretty formal tone when talking to his senpais which pleasantly surprised me. As far as I remember watching season 4, I don't think the Miya twins use formal speech when talking to Aran. They don't call him Aran-san or anything either, just Aran-kun, which could be another example of childhood friends not needing formalities even with the age gap.

If anybody wants a particular character/school to be discussed in detail then just send me an ask and I'll try!

side note: this post isn't proofread so if theres any mistakes or corrections in the info please tell me (✿◠‿◠)

#haikyuu #karasuno #tsukishima kei #kageyama tobio #hinata shoyo #kozume kenma #kenma #kuroo tetsurou #miya twins #miya osamu #miya atsumu #nishinoya yuu #noya #sawamura daichi #sugawara koushi #asahi azumane #tanaka ryuunosuke #japanese linguistics #japaneselanguage #anime #anime and manga

[foreveramattgirl]

Chris Sturniolo - Let Me See

Chris x Fem!reader

Warnings - SMUT!! 🔞🔞 (don’t really know what else to write here)

Authors Note - Hii!!! This is my first Sturniolo imagine and smut, also didn’t proof read lol! I’m so sorry it’s so long! Let me know what you think😊

Also I don’t think Chris would speak like this at all!! It’s just for the story!!

——————————————————————————

(Y/NS POV)

Growing up with all boys can have its difficult moments, but mostly was a good time. Especially when the boys you grew up with consist of your godmothers sons, who are the most handsome boys I've ever set eyes one. The Sturniolo triplets. Nick, my best friend, my honouree older brother. Matt, my anxiety support, my tough guy, my honouree older brother. Christopher, my weakness.

My brother Nate has always been close to the triplets, as I have been. Though the one thing he doesn't know is how intimidated I get from Chris. My blood heats up, my heart pounds, my breathing becomes heavy. And there's only two ways my speaking goes, either I ramble nervously or I go speechless, really depends on the situation.

Today's situation is the fact I am in Hawaii with the Triplets, my brother and Madi, who I have come to really enjoy. Madi is so fun! And we are the same age! However, spending my time on an island with Chris walking around with either a wife beater, or no shirt at all, has me going mental.

Currently we all sit around the fire, all in our own conversations. Nate, Chris and Matt in their own, while Madi. Nick and I are in our own. Though our conversation goes quickly quiet after hearing a quick sentence from the boys.

"I haven't had some good pussy in a while." Christopher announces.

Madi, Nick and I turn shocked to the conversation, however Matt and Nate looked unfazed. In fact they seem to be agreeing with him. Unaware of our intrusion into their conversation, the three carry on.

"I get what you mean!" Matt pats Chris.

Nate nods as well.

"I just wanna get pussy drunk." Chris shakes his head as if the sentence was completely normal.

"What in the world!?" Nick shouts, bring the boys attention to us.

The three burst out laughing at our mortified faces.

"Sorry we didn't know you guys were listening." Nate laughs.

I gulp, Madi and Nick seemed to understand what the three were talking about. But I sat in questions. What was pussy drunk? And is there a good pussy and bad pussy? I look around the group. I couldn't ask anyone those questions, as last time I saw Chris I blabbered on about how good sex was with my ex. Honestly it wasn't, and I'm so inexperienced, which doesn't help either.

"Madi got any friends with good pussy?" Chris laughs.

I start to zone out filling my own mind with questions, did I have good pussy? Is that why I haven't enjoyed sex in the past because men think I have a bad pussy? I shake my head trying to forget the topic hoping the one in front of would have changed by now.

"Ooo and a nice set of tits." Chris adds.

It was no mystery Chris was a boob guy, to anyone. He loved a good set of tits. Which made me pretty happy during late middle school and high school when my boobs grew and grew to there now F's. Yet it doesn't matter what shirt I wear, what bikini I wear Chris never pays attention to me, especially in that way.

"Imma go inside, I'm getting a bit cold." I lie standing up.

"Goodnight guys." I say before heading inside.

Once in the comfort of my own room, in our air B&N. I partially close my door, I put my head phones in and open my laptop. I was curious, I mean how can everyone talk about how great sex is? When I had it, it was worse then mid. I have to be doing it wrong, right?

(CHRIS'S POV)

I was walking but to my room for the night, Matt, Nick and Nate had done the same a few minutes ago. Alone in the hallway I notice Y/N's door partially opened, she'd be asleep by now but the light was on. I walk closer to the door when I hear a sentence I never expected to hear.

"I mustn't have good pussy!"

My eyes widen. I hear the sound of a laptop shutting, what was she doing in there? My mind ran back a step. Y/N is the most beautiful thing on planet earth, an angel sent from heaven. Boobs of a Greek goddess, I just wanna bury my head in them. Hips so pretty and a waist so little. There's no way a girl like her has bad pussy, especially with the little to none amount of men who have been lucky enough for experience it.

Pulled from my thoughts as the door opens. I look down at the brunette, whose eyes become wider than mine.

"Chris!" She gulp.

I smirk a bit. I'm not stupid, I know Y/N has a thing for me. She's not very good at hiding it, for heavens sake.

"What are you doing in there?" I ask her crossing my arms.

Her lips part, as her eyes look desperate for answers. She'd never tell me the truth, now I've asked. Her cheeks heat up, her hands fidgeting with the opposites hands nails. I lean down to her ear.

"What's wrong mamas?" I whisper.

I pull away her eyes darkening. Suddenly there's a look in her eyes, knowing I had caught her. She takes a deep breath.

"Look, outside you were all talking about good pussy, and I didn't know what that meant so I did some research. And by research I mean watched porn, but not for my own enjoyment!" She begins rambling.

My smirk turns to a smile, she's so cute when she rambles, using all her energy to make up a story however this one was true. I could tell by the way she kept getting redder the more she explained.

"And well, the only conclusion I can come to, is I have bad pussy. That's why I don't enjoy sex like other people."

She takes a deep breath. I smile a bit with a chuckle. She looks down in shame. I bring my finger to her chin lifting her head lightly. She needed reassurance, I could tell.

"How many men have you slept with?" I ask her.

She gulped lifting her right hand. A fist slowly rising to 1 finger. Her pink cheeks and eyes going puppy like. She's so submissive already, answering my every question. I can't lie it turned me on big time.

"How many times?" I ask.

A second finger raises, slowly. So she's slept with 1 man two times.

"It was about 1 years ago ago though, does that count for anything?" She gulps.

I chuckle, nodding.

"It means you aren't a slut Y/N." I tell her letting my finger slowly dis attach from her chin.

"But I could still have bad pussy." She complains.

I push her inside her room. I shut the door fully and flip the switch the lock it. She looks at me, wide eyes, fiddling with the oversized t-shirt she is wearing.

"Do you trust me?" I ask her.

She nods her head, making me smirk.

(Y/N'S POV)

"Great, take your pants off." Chris says forward, stripping himself of his tank top.

My eyes widen again. How'd I end up here? I try to back track my steps but before I could finish, Chris towers over me.

"Come on mamas, I'll tell you if you have bad pussy, trust me I won't lie." Chris smirks.

Though the offer was compelling and the heat between my legs grew stronger and stronger, what if I did have bad pussy. Chris would hate me. I'd mess this all up and Chris would know I have bad pussy.

"All you have to do is say no, and I'll stop. I'm just trying to help." He raises his hands in defence.

"You promise you'll tell me if it's bad?" I gulp.

"Of course." Chris nods.

I look at him, I had so many questions.

"What if I do something wrong?" I gulp.

"I'll walk you through every step." He smirks. "And answer any questions."

This man is a mind reader. I nod my head slowly.  Chris steps back and sits on the edge of the bed. He pats his lap.

"Come sit on my lap." He smiles.

I walk over placing one knee on his left side swinging my other over his lap. I'm sitting on him. I'm sitting on a shirtless Chris Sturniolo.

"Good," Chris licks his lips.

"How do you wanna do this?" He asks.

I think for a second. I've been there when women leave Chris's bedroom, I want whatever he does with them.

"I want whatever you do with women." I nod confidently trying to hide my nerves.

Chris kisses my forehead softly, shaking his head.

"You are not one of my hoes." He tells me softly, he eyes sincere. "I will not do what I do to them to you."

I look at him confused. He makes it sound like what he does is bad? But they all seem to enjoy it, why can't I.

"But?" I go speak, but I'm flipped to my back.

Chris hovers over me, chain dangling, hair falling perfectly. My core pulses quickly.

"I said no, Y/N." He said sternly.

I nod my head, quickly.

"Just lay back and trust me." He leans down pressing a kiss to my cheek.

Peppering soft kisses down my neck. I smile at this sweetness. I felt safe, safe enough I let out a little whimper when he pulled away. He smiles.

"Don't worry mamas I'm just getting started." He winks. "Let me see all of you please."

I sit up pulling the large shirt over my head. My bra had already been taken off before I got into my bed the first time. I lay back in nothing but my black panties. I look up and see Chris with parted lips and dark eyes.

"Fucking hell." He whispers. 

I lay patiently for his next move. Chris reached. Hand out slowly softly laying it on my right breast. He gives it a squeeze before leaning down,  flattening his hot tongue on my nipple. He closes his lip around it. I let out a soft moan. He looks at me through hooded eyes, repeating the action on my other breast. He pecks all over my chest leaving saliva everywhere.

In a minute, he begins kissing down my stomach softly. This isn't the hot, steamy, rough sex Chris always talks about having. He is taking his time, paying attention to my whole body.

"You're so bloody pretty mamas." Chris says standing.

I feel my cheeks blush, my arms attempting to cover me at the compliment. Chris reaches for my ankles pulling me to the end of the bed. Placing both ankles on his right shoulder, Chris licks his lip.

"Now what we are all here for."

He reachers to my waist band ever so gently pulling it off. I bend my knees making it easier for him. I was so confused what to do with my hands now. Chris gets in his knees on the foot of the bed. I begin to get nervous again.

"Remember, all you have to do is lay and relax." Chris winks. "Oh and try to be quiet."

I look at him confused, not once have I ever been loud during sex, I thought that was just pornstars. Chris chuckles kissing both my thighs before placing one of each shoulder.

I watch him intently, his corse fingers spreading me for himself. The feeling was new. He rubs my slick around slowly.

"Mamas," he looks at me.

I gulp. What's he going to say?

"You've got such a pretty little cunt." Chris smiles. "So wet, so pretty, so soft."

I moan a bit at his words, making him chuckle. He leans in pressing a kiss on my bundle of nerves. So soft and sweet. The hand not spreading me for him hooks around my hip laying on top of my stomach. I watched him, what was he going to do next. Before I can question him, he flicks his tongue around my clit. My back arches on instinct, my breath hitches, my eyes close softly. Chris begins sucking on me, ever so softly, lots of pressure. I've never experienced anything like this. It was euphoric to say the least. His thumb on my stomach caressing my skin softly. I moan softly, enjoying every minute of him.

The longer he was down there the more I couldn't hold it together. His mouth and tongue driving me quickly to the edge. My hips squirm, my back arched, my eyes squeezed shut. When I did open them seeing Chris perfectly in between my legs, concentrating so very hard on me, his fluffy hair, his blue eyes looking back at me, his lips smirking. He knew exactly what he was doing.

"Chris?" I moan out feeling a much tighter knot fill my stomach.

"Come on mamas." He mumbles against me.

"Oh my god!" I moan out loudly, pressing my hips deep into the mattress.

I slap my hand over my mouth quickly. My chest rising and falling quickly. My eyes go blurry. The biggest orgasm I've ever had, and it was given to me by Christopher Sturniolo. I feel his tongue softly sweeping its way around me, collecting my cum.

I look down at him, his hooded eyes look at me sweetly, before going he pulls away. I see some of my juices and his saliva spilling down his chin, looking so hot. His eyes were lit up, he was proud of himself, I could tell.

"Ever touched yourself?" Chris asks me.

I nod my head, slowly, a bit embarrassed. Chris nods his head, with a smirk.

"Bet it didn't feel like this did it mamas?" He winks at me.

I feel my blood rush to my cheeks. My squirming and moaning must have given me away.

"You taste so good." He says diving back in.

My hips jerk, feeling sensitive. Chris smirks looking at me. His lips pink and swollen so hot, eyes sparkling. They were begging me. He sucks in my thighs softly. 

"I want more, can I have more?" Chris looked desperate. "Please mamas."

I didn't know how to respond, a man begging to eat me out? I've never had that. Let alone the man being Chris.

"I just wanna taste that pretty little cunt one more time, get it ready for my dick." He whispers against my skin.

Both his hands are on my thighs, sliding them, and gripping them softly. I nod my head at him, agreeing. He smiles like a child before attaching his mouth to me.

"Holy fuck!" I moan out.

I was so sentitives now, I was also a lot for comfortable. Chris looks up at me smiling.

"You sound so hot mamas, but I don't want the others to hear." He looks at me, with dark eyes.

"I don't think your brother would appreciate me eating you out when he's down the hall." Chris chuckles.

I nod my head quickly. He smirks leaning back in. It felt so good, just like the first time. Right when I thought it couldn't get any better, I feel a pinch. I look down and see Chris watching his hand.

"Fuck princess, I can barely fit a finger in you." He groans.

His middle finger slowly slips in and out of me. He licks his lips. I let out a groan. A second finger it slid in making me gulp.

"Lay down ma, just relax." Chris smiles at me. "I won't hurt you, I just want to loosen you a bit."

I bite my lip, the feeling being so different. His long corse fingers sliding around my walls. Chris looks at me, our eyes connected while he begins sucking on my clit again. I let out a soft moan. I felt so sensitive, my hips couldn’t help but buck against him.

“Chris.” I whimper.

Looking at me with a smirk, he continues to finger me while eating me out, clearly knowing I’m close. His teeth grazes my clit, while his fingers curl, making my right hand quickly attach to his head. I couldn’t help but arch my back while holding him closer.

“Oh my goddd!” I moan out.

I close my eyes, reaching my high. My left hand flies to my mouth, my hips begin jerking against Chris’s mouth and he hums against me.

“Chris.” I moan into my hand.

He helps me ride my high out, before cleaning me up with his tongue. Chris was good at this, like crazy good! He pulls away, licking my cum from his fingers with a groan.

“Fuck sake mamas, I just want more.” Chris’s eyes are lustful, but his smile was mischievous.

His fingers come back to my core, rubbing my clit more.

“So so so good.” He licks his lips.

I watch his hand reach down and palm himself through his pants. I felt kind proud of myself making him hard. Chris Sturniolo is hard because of me! I wanted it, I wanted his dick.

“Chris.” I say softly, while sitting up.

He looks up at me, his eyes are needy. My heart was pounding.

“Could you?” I gulp.

I didn’t know how to word it. How do you ask your brothers best friend to fuck you without it being weird? What if I ruin this moment? What if he doesn’t want to? But he looks like he really wants to.

I look at his crotch, his hard dick pressing against his shorts, I can see the outline. I gulp, even the outline was intimidating.

“Are you sure?” Chris licks his lips.

I nod my head bringing my hand to my mouth, bitting down in the acrylic. Chris stands up, he was towering over me again.

“Cause if you don’t want to we don’t have too.” Chris says.

“Please.” I look up at him.

I reach my hands to his pants, while looking at him. The way he was looking at me, I was dripping all over again. I untie the little knot that was holding them up, before pulling them down. I see a wet patch on his boxers, I bite my lip. Chris hand comes down and pulls my hair over my shoulders to my back. I pull the boxers down, his dick springs up to hit his stomach.

I gasp a little, he was big. His tip was bright red and leaking with pre cum. I had to touch it, there was no way I couldn’t. Chris groans as I spread the pre cum from his tip down his shaft.

“I can’t wait anymore Y/N.” Chris bites his lip. “Fucking hell.”

I look at him, both of us filled with desperation. I lay on my back.

“I’ll go slow I promise.” Chris whispers to me.

He moves my legs to be widely spread for him. His left hand finds my right hand intertwining our fingers. He lines himself up, his tip entering me. I let out a whimper, but Chris groans. He was stretching me out and it was kind of painful. He stops for a second.

“You’re doing so good baby.” Chris whispers.

He leans down intertwining our other fingers. He kisses my forehead.

“You’rere so right.” He groans. “Im not gonna last long.”

Once has has bottomed out, I had full tears in my eyes, Chris kissed both my cheeks softly. I looked him, something in his eyes told me this wasn’t just sex. Slowly be began moving, only a little.

“Chris.” I whimper.

He stops his movements and look at me quickly.

“More.” I say softly, finally starting to get used to his size.

Chris leans down and kisses me. It shocks me at first, but I kiss back. Our hands unlock and I wrap my arms around his neck. He begins to move more. I moan into his mouth, he does the same. He speeds again making it impossible to kiss, both of us trying our hardest to stay quiet.

“Fucking hell Y/N, I’m so close.” He groans in my ear.

“Me too.” I breathe out.

He begins sucking on my neck, in attempt to stay quiet. I could I drew blood from biting my lip. I was so close as his hips rocked into me. My nails dig into Chris back, I didn’t mean to do it but it was the only way I could stay somewhat quiet.

“Chris!” I moan as I hit my high.

I clench around him harder, making Chris groan and I feel his hot ropes of cum fill me up. He slowly brings us down from our highs, my legs feeling numb. We begin to kiss again, as he was still inside me. I didn’t want him to pull out, it felt so good with him in me. We pull away finally, and Chris pulls out slowly, we both groan.

He disappears for a second into my bathroom before returning with a wet cloth. He softly cleans me up, I didn’t know what to say so I laid in silence. I felt so exhausted.

He put his boxers on before grabbing my shirt. He helps me put my shirt on. I slide back and lay in my bed, I expect him to leave. But he doesn’t.

Chris slides in next to me after turning the light off, making me smile a bit.

“Come here mamas.” He opens his arm.

I lay on his chest, his arms closing around me. I sigh in relief.

“Chris.” I whisper.

What did this mean to him? I needed to know.

“Tomorrow, baby, we can talk tomorrow.” Chris whispers.

“I just want to hold you, right now.” He pecks my head. “I’ve been waiting to long to be in this moment.”

I smile, at his words, snuggling close to him. I close my eyes and quickly fall asleep myself. I didn’t know what to expect tomorrow but I was too tired to even ask Chris about it.

#sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo smut #fanfic #nick sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo smut

[call-me-copycat]

Im learning japanese rn and one thing I've noticed is that my voice when I speak japanese is A LOT quieter than when Im speaking English because if i speak loud I notice the words dont sound as clear- This language is forcing me to be quitter- which is honestly a good thing I talk way to loud😭

Ah, I hope I can help! ٩(,,•ω•,,)و⚑⁎∗ﾌﾚﾌﾚ

For me, learning how to pronounce certain words was pretty big, and the best way I did that was plenty of research combined with just casually listening. Whispering is a start, but you might develop habits that aren't so correct (just noting down what I saw in myself - particularly in pronouncing my "r/l's").

For starters, I used Buusu to begin learning pronunciation (before it was put behind a paywall :⁠-⁠\), but there are plenty other things available!

One of the biggest ones is japanesepod101, as they have many YouTube videos going over basically everything you need to know:

This channel's also really good as well ୧꒰*´꒳`*꒱૭✧

Alongside videos like these, you can also develop good pronunciation habits just by listening to anime (although not always the best example sometimes) and music! That's how babies learn to speak anyway, just by listening and piecing things together (๑>ᴗ<๑)

Other examples include podcasts, radio, Japanese YouTube channels (many have subtitles!), advertisements with VPN, and more (๑ˊ͈ ꇴ ˋ͈)

I think it's very important to note that pronunciation is very important in Japanese. Depending on the word, you can change the whole meaning of something just by giving it the wrong pitch.

Example: In English, you can change the message of a sentence by stressing a word like so,

This isn't my cat.

Turns into:

This isn't my cat.

Insinuating that the cat isn't yours, but is someone else's.

Japanese is sort of like that. Words can change meaning based on where you put your high and low pitches, so that's why speaking clearly when practicing is best to start off with.

Here's what I'm trying to explain since you can't hear through text:

But before you worry about all that, just having the basics down is best (๑´ㅂ`๑)

I'm sure you might know most of this already, and if you did then I'm sorry for wasting your time! I do hope some of this might've been useful though(;´∀`)

I tend to get my practice through talking to myself throughout the day ("yabbai!" if I mess something up, "mendokusai.." if I'm upset, etcetera etcetera). I also talk to my pets as well in Japanese to practice, seeing as they don't mind (៸៸᳐⦁⩊⦁៸៸᳐ )੭ﾞ

Wishing you all the best with your learning! I'm happy you came to me, and if you ever have any other questions I promise to answer them the best I can! (*´∀｀)ノ

I hope you have a lovely day!

#my friends ♡ #learn japanese #learning japanese #japanese language #japanese langblr #nihongo #日本語 #日本 #💬 #🔖 #🧧 #japanese #Japan #nippon #nihon

[todayisafridaynight]

Not to localizationpost but the reason Daigo's line sounds off is because it is <3 Not in that it's a mistranslation per se... He was saying he felt like he was the only coward among them, and "You're making me look like I have no balls." is One Way You Could Put That I Guess, but it loses his established character voice and is at odds with the delivery.

It's actually even more Kansai-like in the dub script, since dropping the G like this is near-exclusive to Kansai:

In Gaiden, I've noticed there's been a significant hemorrhaging of dialects that has at best been hastily cleaned-up. It's most evident with Nishitani III because he was, practically up until release day, localized like he's from Kansai even though he doesn't speak Kansai at all. I think I last talked about that before the game came out, but having experienced the game, there are still remnants of that in parts of the sub script and especially the dub script. You can also see it pop up with Kiryu using words like " 'bout" and " 'course," which He Would Not Say.

The introduction of slang where it doesn't really belong and the mixups with the dialects are relatively minor issues... until you have the accidental sexual abuse censorship fiasco on your hands because you decided to translate from Kanto rather than Kansai... lol...

In that instance and that instance only I feel entitled to monetary compensation from the localization team for all 60+ tweets I had to see questioning Shishido's abuse (yes I counted) (for this week's/tomorrow's video) because GODDDDD I can't even blame the players at that point... I just feel it fundamentally changes how you look at Shishido and Nishitani As Characters I will neverrrrr be over it I'm sorry...

On another note, while I'm talking about Shishido, setting aside the many actual mistranslations with his dialogue, I do kind of feel like they struggled with his character voice. He's notably much more polite than you'd expect, and I could tell the effect Yokoyama and Furuta were originally going for was something along the lines of the contrast between Mine and Jo's usual formality (depending on who they're addressing anyway Lol) and how vulgar and aggressive they get when they snap, just with the added layer of Shishido not looking as outwardly professional/put-together as those two.

Like. Y'know. It's not that Kansai is casual in and of itself, it's that many Kansai characters speak more casually and there's a higher ceiling for how colorful their language can get, but you still have to keep the individual character's voice in mind... Shishido also slips into the Kanto dialect on occasion, which has interesting implications for his character, and it's somewhat disappointing to not see that noted when the team for K2 did note when Sayama switched accents lol...

Anyway none of that matters what does matter is that in the scene you were referencing, in spite of making Daigo's line more vulgar than it is, they replaced Shishido calling everyone "dickcheeses" with "pricks" LIKE C'MOOONNNN YOU'RE TELLING ME JO CAN TALK ABOUT TEATS BUT SHISHI CAN'T GET PROPER NARSHTY... I get that it's kind of an unwieldy phrase but c'mooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnn it's his birthdayyyyy

i woulda just bout lost every marble i had left if they really let shishido get away with callin everyone smegma liiiikkkeee i wouldn't have survived LOL

#long post #havent used that in a. /long/ while HAH GOTTEM anyway. #snap chats #anyway thats fun :) <- its not fun 'interesting' is a word that exists and fits #yeah sorry you had to deal with. The Affects Of Localization LMAO ITS WHY I TRY NOT TO MENTION IT MUCH #its an annoying topic so i try dodging it and yet i failed.. the line is still really funny to me. ill try to stop talkin bout it tho #there is a point is 'loss in character voice' tho since. thats what I Think i was rambling bout in my post lol #but yeah. thats fun :) <- its still not fun #despite shishido Looking Like That adn Being Built Like That at the very least i did feel like he was SOMEWHAT polite #idk how to describe it but i didnt feel like he was as vulgar or . bombastic(?) as ryuji (who he was compared to at some point) #NOT A BAD THING OF COURSE i should stop talking :) i dont have a phd in. anything LOL but esp not shishido #i dont know what im talking about half the time anyway... lol...

[emmettsin]

Since u worked with kids do you have any opinions on that "millennial's kids are the worst" discourse?

(Imo I don't think they are the worst just bc their parents are millennials but I do get the feel they do not know what authority means. Not in a "in this household I'm god" way, but more in a "I am responsible for what happens to you so we need to follow rules" way.)

it's becoming a fairly consistent observation among teachers and other child care workers -- especially those in school -- that younger generations are becoming more difficult, and i agree with that.

to be fair, i worked in an after school program, so expecting these kids to sit down and learn after six hours of school is, imo, an unrealistic expectation. but it's what we had to do.

there's a very noticeable shift in parental responsibilities. i've seen kids WAY too attached to their school-issued chromebooks and tablets, and that's literally all most of the kids, even the little ones, ever wanted to do. either that or go outside, which depended on the weather, and we're not allowed to just let the kids play the whole time.

the attention issues were INSANE. we couldn't get through thirty seconds of talking without kids chatting or totally ignoring us. though some kids knew how to raise their hands (or be constantly reminded to), most would just talk whenever, talk over their peers, and talk over us. it was exhausting.

but the worst thing to me was how disrespectful they were to each other. talking while a kid is talking, or doing something distracting, and then expecting to get more respect while they talk despite showing no respect for the other kid. i would constantly remind these kids of the Golden Rule, and it's like i was speaking another language.

most of them also refuse to accept responsibility for their actions, constantly making excuses and trying to pin blame on another kid. many of them didn't know how apologies work. and yeah, we all know kids aren't perfect little angels, but there was a time where kids cared about these things, and about other kids. my mom didn't just punish me if i messed up, she sat down and helped me understand why it was a mistake and why i should apologize.

...and watching PBS helped a lot too. big shout out to Arthur.

but if their parents are relying on electronics (with little to no supervision) and, more importantly, teachers to care for their kids when it's their job to raise them right, how can we blame the kids? how can i fault a little girl for being spoiled and self-centered when her daddy thinks paying us the big bucks in holiday money makes everything better? how can i blame a little boy for biting other kids when his mom gets mad at us for trying to hold him accountable?

so TL;DR: yeah i think going "ugh (x) kids are the worst" isn't a solution to the problem, but the way that parenting is changing now is affecting the kids. and as tired and boomer as it may sound, social media and electronics -- as well as capitalism in general -- are a major factor.

#emmett answers #anon

[kalamity-jayne]

heya! baby-ish tgirl here. i've been on E since dec now (current regimen 6mg E sublingual/100mg spiro per day). anyway i have a nasty needle phobia but i also really kinda want to switch to injections and i think i might be stubborn enough to overcome it. what do you think? worth doing?

Well, I'm not an endocrinologist, and this is very much a conversation you should be having with one. With that caveat out of the way though I'd say it depends. First of all, if you're Estrogen levels and testosterone levels are in the ideal ranges and you're feeling good about the results you’ve been seeing thus far, I would say there's no real reason to make that change. If you’re levels are good and your mostly satisfied but just want to get a lil extra juice out of your regimen, you may want to consider just adding in Progesterone.

Many trans women swear by injectable but obviously there's nuances here. The old axiom "your mileage may vary" absolutely applies. The big advantage you have with injectable estrogen is that you bypass the stomach and the liver and thus you don't have to worry as much about how much estrogen is actually available for your body to use or your body's receptors' ability to bind to the estrogen. When I first started I took oral estrogen, but it was really challenging to get my T and E levels in the correct ranges (for context I had incredibly high levels of testosterone before HRT, even by cis male standards). After trying a few different dosages of Estradiol and Spiro (and eventually progesterone as well) and still not getting the levels right, I made the switch to injectable. Once I made the switch it felt like I was cooking with gas. So I very well may have been one of those people who wasn't effectively binding to the estrogen taken orally.

The main disadvantage to injectable estrogen is really just the needles if you’re someone who feels nervous about that. Now with injectable there’s two formats, intramuscular and subcutaneous. Both are equally effective, the only big difference between the two is that intramuscular comes with a slight risk of scarring. Both are pretty easy, and you’ll get the hang of it fairly quickly. As far as avoiding pain and scarification my main advice is: 1. don’t do your injections when you are tired, in a rush, inebriated, or under any other condition that might cause your hand to be less than steady and 2. Be swift with the needle.

Another big difference, that is neither better or worse just different, is that your hormone levels will fluctuate differently. When you take hormones orally, you get your initial E spike and it tapers off over the course of the day, which is why you generally take two doses per day. With injectable you get your initial estrogen spike after injecting, and it slowly tapers off over the course of the week until your next does (this is why it's recommended you get your bloodwork done halfway between doses). So if/when you make the switch, you may experience some mild mood swings (not everyone does though, I only experienced noticeable mode swings during the first 3 months of progesterone) and you may experience a few other signs of hormonal fluctuation such as mild non-inflammatory acne on the sides of your nose (if you experience this talk to your end, you may need the dosage adjusted and definitely re-evaluate your skin-care routine as you may need to start treating the nose with salicylic acid).

Now there are a few other delivery methods to consider, such as the Patch and the Pellet, but I don't know as much about them so I'm not as comfortable speaking on them.

I hope that info is helpful baby-girl! But definitely take all of that with a grain of salt and go talk to an actual endocrinologist!

Love,

🌷Mother Calamity🌷

#ask/answer #anon #Mother Calamity #trans advice

[tavina-writes]

Have you any suggestions for someone who has started recently (few months ago) to publish fics on ao3 and doesn't get a lot of hits/kudos? I feel a little down and insecure, and I don't know if it's my writing the problem or the fact that the pair is not the main and not liked much

Hi Nonny!

This is a difficult conflict to have with yourself, and I'm sure that like, you've seen all the posts about how like "you should be self indulgent! you should write for yourself! who cares about engagement!" and this both is and isn't true. But also even if you think it is true and you'd like to get some of that energy it's very difficult and for that sending you so many hugs. It is very normal to feel insecure about sharing something you've made, and I think writers of all levels of experience and "engagement" feel down about themselves like this in cycles.

idk if I'm qualified to say a ton on this topic, but I've seen lots of "unhealthy relationship to stats page" and could tell real stories about horrible things that have happened so I guess here goes nothing?

A few things to keep in mind:

what do you consider "not a lot" ? 10? 100? 1000? One of the major problems of focusing overtly on hits/kudos/comments/and other things you can't change is that inevitably if you achieve the "number of your dreams" you will....get a new number that you want. It will be bigger. Chasing this type of external numbers based validation to the exclusion of other stuff is very difficult because it is one of those sliding slope black holes to never being satisfied with what is currently going on. This is my primary thought on why focusing on stats isn't very good: it's very easy to get into a never ending cycle of never being happy.

as someone who's written for several years: we're coming up on the winter holidays, end of the semester, winter break type time period in many parts of the world but esp for northern hemisphere english speaking fandom, so if you're seeing a decrease in hits/kudos/comments/the feeling that someone out there is reading your work in general, this could play a big role. If you've only been publishing for the last few months the first time this happens can be really jarring! But it has nothing to do with the quality of your writing or if people are interested in reading and everything to do with brickspace taking up a lot of time right now. (I imagine this might also be true for Chinese speaking fandom around New Years, but I can't say since I don't engage there very often to notice trends.)

Depending on the fandom, (which, unless you, like me, are into Naruto which seems to thrive on niche AUs from now until forever), main pairings/fandom popular juggernauts will always get more people reading than a rarepair. That doesn't mean the people who write for rarepairs are doing a bad job or that writing for a rarepair isn't rewarding to the writer in other ways, but that may mean modulating expectations on like "how many people will click on my work?" and "how much feedback will I get?"

So overall, I feel like there's a combination of factors here for why you might be feeling down, but there are ways to help with this!

For one: talking about your writing and your work and what you're doing! This, I've found, is a great way to make friends. (also to anyone who says that this is obnoxious and attention seeking, this is the attention seeking webbed site, if you don't want attention why are you here????)

For two: locate friends and yell your thoughts at them <- I have found this to be 100% a mood picker upper when it comes to "am I doing a good job at writing?"

For three: find what makes you really happy about your own writing! This doesn't mean that you have to seek to improve your writing, but just, stuff that you enjoy, a line you really like, a relationship you enjoyed, a fic you thought was nice, and be kind to yourself about it.

Again, sending you hugs nonny! I hope some of this helps!

#asks and answers #I've never gotten asks like this before and idk that I'm qualified to provide advice but like #if other people who see this want to chime in with what they do or how they deal with it please do! #I think getting down about your own writing is a universal experience #every writer I've ever known gets it from time to time

[incorrectcooldojidanshi]

Hello!

So I im currently reading the manga volume 7, as that one just came out in my country, and I noticed that in chapter 30, when motoharu asks Mima how he and Hayate met, he answers (translated from German): “I hit on him” (“Ich hab ihn angebaggert”) and I was like?? Yeah you kinda did, but I didn’t think the mangaka would actually write that or that the characters would ever acknowledge it, much less Mima realising he did that. But then it also never gets elaborated when motoharu asks for an explanation

So yeah, have you read chapter 30 yet? What were you’re thoughts? Or did the translation/whatever language your reading it in make the Dialoge something else?

Also, do you think that the “I hit on him” could be a hint to what could come or how their relationship could potentially evolve?

hi!! i'm sorry, you say "volume 7" and "chapter 30" but to my knowledge those haven't even been released yet - volume 5 was the newest release in japan, it isn't being released in america until october, and on kokone nata's pixiv page she's only posted up to chapter 26 (and i don't speak japanese, so i'm not ENTIRELY sure what's in the volume 5 chapters she's posted, but i skimmed through them and it doesn't look like anything that matches the convo you described). unless germany has been publishing chapters already released in some kind of different format that splits them apart into thirty, there perhaps might have been some kind of mix-up with what you've read, because i definitely haven't read anything like that yet.

could you possibly be talking about some of her other illustrations on her pixiv/twitter? i don't know too much about those since they're not translated, but in the case that somehow this is part of the series - i don't think it would have been a mistake for mima to say it, and i don't think it's out of character for kokone nata to do so. i guess it also depends on the quality of your publishing company and how much you know about/trust them to handle things because there's always a chance that something got lost in the process, but imo that seems very much like a standard mima (and by extension, kokone nata) thing to do! he didn't realize it himself exactly, it was probably the way hayate had reacted in the first place ("sorry, i'm not a girl") that led to mima making the joke like that. if it didn't get elaborated, it's probably for the laughs - cdd is a slice-of-life comedy first and foremost, and while miscommunication sucks in drama, it's HILARIOUS otherwise.

in terms of how their relationship could evolve - based on what you've said about it i do believe that it was played off as a joke, but i do think hayate's got the most adorable celebrity/puppy crush on mima (and igarashi too! just any capable cool adult, which i relate hard to LMAO). tbh from what i've read i really think mima sees hayate as a younger person to take care of. now with igarashi in the group, we can clearly see that kokone nata often divides them between the "older" and "younger"; shun, hayate, and souma are often all grouped up together (hanging out at the cafe, movies, walking sakura, etc), and igarashi and mima are usually stuck together as well. there is a possibility that how mima sees hayate might change in the future, but for now i think they're content with what they have!

i hope that helps! and if it doesn't then feel free to expand more, especially bc i'm curious on where this is coming from! or if any other followers has any ideas and can help out, that'd be great too!

#sticksstone i think you may be from the future #lol jk this was a lot of fun1!! #now i'm dying to read it myself LMAAO #iccdd answers #mima takayuki #ichikura hayate #cdd #cool doji danshi #play it cool guys #picg

[bunnidid-reviews]

hi! i'm part of a traumagenic system who enjoys the Simplyplural app and i want to explain some of my suggestions / opinions on your review, and some notes about future features that i've heard from the official dev team.

this is going to be a very long ask, so do ignore if you do not care at all, but i'm still going to send it just in case, since there are some possible interesting things you might not have known or realized

don't focus too much on the exact times with the "detailed front"

i know it seems like you need to put in the exact moment to the minute, and like... you can! but it's fine and common i think to just go "ok well i know x part was fronting during the morning, so about... 9 am to 1 pm, since i noticed the time being aorund 1 pm when i switched out" and set that time.

i do think that htere should be more buttons or options (even custom ones) in quick front, but still, it's not that big of a deal if you can't get everything right down to the moment.

the arrows are connected to the little arrow menu at the bottom right, allowing you to do three things.

add to front (useful if your alters/parts cofront),

set as front (useful if only one of you are aware at a time),

and sync to pluralkit if you have your pluralkit linked. and then there's the "no action" button which just hides the thing.

if you're switching and only one fronts / is aware at a time, keeping the selection to set as front and changing the opened app setting to open to the members page would probably be most beneficial.

speaking of, you can change the default page the app opens to. i'm going to try to give the best tutorial on how to get there

open the app and navigate down to the options at the bottom of the dashboard

alternatively, open the sidebar, tap the cogwheel at the top, and scroll down to the options... inside the options. that part never made sense to me, but that's another way to get there

at the top there'll be a section that says default page. change that to members, or whatever page you want to see first when you open the app

that's it! you should be able to close and open the app, and the members page (or whatever page) will show up instead of the dashboard you find clunky (which, it is, but if it was customizable i think i'd use it a lot more)

alphabetical sorting is going to be one of several sorting options in the future, although that is not out yet, so for now i can suggest

adding emojis or words before parts to force the sorting into a certain way (though if you have over like. 50+ parts/alters then that will get tedious)

using more groups to sort different parts and their roles or how often they are in front, or even how developed they are as parts compared to ones that might be more shard/fragment like.

these may not help entirely, but they are possibilities for sorting that we use in some form (mostly to separate actual headmates from "members" used on pluralkit similar to custom statuses when we mark fronts there on rare occasion. and also sometimes subsystems but we use groups for that more often)

custom fronts are for more assorted things. they're used for different things in different systems and there have been suggestions for uses in the official discord.

for us, we use it to mark things like body symptoms, if we're blurry or not, and sometimes different activities (ie, if we're talking a walk or taking a shower), although it depends on how often you're able to take those things down.

(also, if you take medicine, that could also be marked down. i often use it when we take medicine like an ibuprofin to note how many pills it was and to know how long ago it was)

they're not necessary to be used, you can completely ignore custom fronts, but they are good for tracking things that may be important

similarly, there are custom statuses (which imma just call statuses for now since it sounds similar to custom fronts but they're different) and comments, which are ways to note down more information about your feelings or situation.

statuses are often used to mark what level of front someone is in. if your system experiences co-fronts or co-consciousness, that's where you would label that. you can also use it as a way to tell a friended user how you're feeling in a short way, like a temporary tagline on a social media app. ex, "dissociated, IWC" or "happy to talk", similar to how some use custom fronts, but for that specific part

comments are very similar, except they are longer, and you can add markdown, and they're private no matter what. you'er able to note down things about the front, like if you were feeling nauseated or excited or whatever. we don't use them as much besides for custom fronts to mark physical symptoms n stuff, but they may be helpful.

custom fields and notes can also be helpful in noting down information about certain parts,

like what role they have, what triggers they may have (although make sure the sensitive information is in a private custom field or a note), although we find it to not be as helpful and use other apps for certain info.

sharing basic details with friends can also be a useful feature for the custom fields, although the description works just fine as well. though the description always has the lowest level of privacy the member has, so if a part is listed as "visible to all friends", but you only want trusted friends to know a specific fact about that part, putting that fact in a custom field is how you fix that

also, not the most most important part, but there is markdown in the app now, so

if you want to bold or italicize text for easy personal reading, or putting in headers or add images besides the icon for a part, those are possible options now. it was very recently added, but it's decently useful.

you can also use an html code "comment" to hide information unless selected in edit mode, which is NOT the same as spoilering content and can get buggy, but it's a decently good workaround until spoilering content is added (mostly important for us when writing down a members triggers so no one accidentally sees something that makes them panic)

i think i have just about ran out of ideas to note down to you. there's a lot more features that may or may not be helpful, like the polls, exporting data to pluralkit, analytics on who's fronted and how much, etc. there's also features that may be coming around soon, but it's best to check the simplyplural discord if you want to know about new features they're planning.

i am just a big fan of the app and although there is a learning curve and it's easy to get things to a quite messy state, it is not as strict as it sounds to use. you just need to not worry so much about Always Making Sure All The Things Are Correct. there's margin for error if you let yourself be flawed and sometimes make mistakes or input possibly skewed data.

it's the most complex and usable app i've found and works wonders for us, although if it had more customization that would improve it a lot. then again, i've also used character-based apps (yk, apps that are meant to hold info about original characters, usually in DND) to list the system, which... it's not fun at all. don't recommend trying using character based apps especially if you're traumagenic.

ofc it's not the only app we use for writing down information on systems, but most other apps are like. our notes app, a fake twitter app, antar, etc. like, not inherently system related at all, so this is quite the step up compared to what exists out there. it's not the best it could be, but it's definitely recommendable to try out with assistance and help and practice.

im not hoping to change ur mind about the app btw, you can dislike it all you want, i just find it useful for more reasons than you brought up and thought some nuance might be interesting. if you've read all of this, then i want you to know i hope you have a good day today (whether you delete this ask or not)

Hi anon, thank you for taking so much time to send this ask and list how all the features could be used! I hope someone here who might want to use it finds it very useful.

My whole point of my review was ‘Yes, this can be a good app if you get to know how to use it over a long period of time’, which sounds like you have been able to do and I’m really glad for that <3 

But my second point is that No, this entire list is a good reason of why it’s not accessible to most. It is very complex to even get into, there’s a lot here to keep in mind that most my friends and followers with OSDDID might not be able to get past. A lot of us don’t have the time, or the understanding or the energy for it. I’m sure that it’s a wonderful app if you do, but for the common user, I don’t really think so. Many people with a dissociative disorder don’t use things like pluralkit regularly, so it’s a hard barrier to pass already.

I don’t really appreciate the ‘If you let yourself be flawed’ comment near the end. My point about the keeping track of time on the switching logs has nothing to do with the user letting themselves be flawed. Fundamentally it is very confronting and a constant reminder that those of us with dissociation that we don’t know a lot of what goes on in our lives or with other parts. It gives me very strong Plural Association vibes, which it’s affiliated with anyway, which is what makes me and many others uncomfortable. 

I still don’t recommend the app personally (This is a blog solely based on my personal opinion after all) but I wish well to everybun who does choose to have it!

Thanks for sending in your ask! I’m sure someone will find your suggestions helpful ^^

-Bunny

#askies #simply plural

[loser-female]

How do I get into cybersecurity? It looks fascinating but I don’t even know where to begin (for context, I am 28, have a BA in a completely unrelated specialization, and live in the US) 💛

Hi! I wasn't ignoring you, I just had shit days at work. Keep in mind that I work in EU and the labour market is different. I've heard a lot of lay-offs in the last few months but I have no idea if this involved cybersecurity positions or not. Also I'm a SOC Analyst specialising in Threat Intelligence. There are a lot of more positions to look out for, like if you are a lawyer you could go on the cyberlaw, privacy or auditing route.

Languages skills are appreciated a lot of you work in Threat Intelligence (I speak 4, currently learning Mandarin and my country sign language), coding skills are useful too.

Now, the usual path is:

1. Degree in computer science or software engineering (or math or physics, I did two years at physics)

2. You take a specialising course of some sort.

Some universities offers cybersecurity degrees I think (in my country it's a master's for example), and sometimes they might prepare you for CompTIA certs too. If you are lucky sometimes companies hire interns for like 6 months and they too make them study. My company did this... For the last interns. I had to be start my shifts after a month of learning lol. Idk if my manager threw a dice to choose between me and the other guy or if he noticed my ability.

I didn't follow that path, for various reason. I did a bootcamp and I took my certifications. But:

1. I've volunteered in a similar field for years and years (information research, debunking);

2. I speak 4 languages;

3. I did two years of physics before my health declined.

I do not recommend that part, because while I'm stupid good at my job, frankly my previous experience as volunteering did much more than any bootcamp.

Two points I feel I need make:

1. Certs. There are like an hundred or more, and it's a mess to figure it out. Plus it all depends what kind of role you want. Good news: most likely the company that will hire you will provide you access to few courses and the possibility to gain some of them, but IMHO taking a Sec+ or a Net+ is not a bad idea before looking for a job. While EC-Council is what HR looks at... Frankly let your company pay for it. Sec+ is like 350$ while a Ceh is 900$.

2. Downsides of my job - these are not talked enough imho.

-I work insane hours, I have two weekends free every two months because I work in shifts. I get paid more in my country (like I have a base hour rate and I get paid from 25% to 75% more of that rate if I like work on Christmas or a Sunday, nights get paid more obviously)

-I spend a significant amount of time studying and looking at news sites, social media to catch "the last news".

-Male environment. When I go to a conference I'm one of the like 20 women out of 1000, of which like 5 have a technical role like I do. It does make it feel like you are a freak even if no one is mean to you. I work from home, and I have only a female colleague - when I go to the office I'm the only woman out of 20 men. I love my colleagues and my manager, mind you, but if you are not in a good environment it's going to be a mess.

- Every company has a different set of tools, standards, programs etc that they use, and of you want to change job it can be hard to adapt.

-A SOC is a fast-paced environment and can be very stressful by nature, because it's a 24/7 service, and in certain parts of the day you can be inundated with alerts and issues to solve. And sometimes you have empty hours because nothing happens and it's boring.

- it's very important also to have soft skills because (like I did it today) you will be in charge of explaining what's going on to clients in a way that a 5 yo will understand, you will be in charge of projects, need to set enough time to study...

- You will meet people 1000x better than you are - and if you don't have the right mentality it's hard to deal with them, because you (well at least I do lol) will feel like an idiot and no one likes feeling like an idiot.

-Long hiring process. It took me a month from the first interview to be confirmed and two months to actually start - and this could really be a problem.

-Networking and connecting with others while it didn't land me a job definitely improved my skills, my credibility in the environment and who knows what else will happen in the future. Take what you can from others, most will be happy to share and help.

BUT!

Before committing you can try it with popular games such as Tryhackme or Hack The Box. They have learning environments where you can "play" and learn some basics. A real SOC or pen-test is like doing 10 of these challenges together but I had a lot of fun.

I hope this is enough! I tried to explain everything that someone considering a career in cybersecurity. Again, consider that I'm in Europe so this info might not be 100% accurate in the US.

#cybersecurity

[essayofthoughts]

Hi! You were asking for questions about your aus and I've been meaning to ask you this for a while: what do you think Elaina was like as a person/ how are you characterising her in your Elaina Lives AU? Obviously, she's very important to the twins but they very rarely talk about her, which is understandable on their part but does make her slightly elusive as a figure. There's a small handful of concrete things and a small collection of implications but not much else.

I've been working on something set in an au where she's alive and I'm happy with where I've landed for the characterisation, but I know it's far from the only way she can be interpreted. So, as I've been writting I've gotten interested in what different end result someone else would make with the same pieces and I know characterisation is something you take a lot of pride and care in.

Oh good question!

I've been approaching it very much by looking at the twins and what of their traits and behaviours they likely inherited from her. This is ... not easy necessarily but a lot of fun, because it's kind of like everything that isn't directly gained from Syngorn that's up for grabs?

Like... Vax's attitude is due to and exacerbated by Syngorn. Vex's social awareness and social caution come from Syngorn. Her tact on the other hand? Likely from Elaina! Vax's more generous and deeply caring side? Again, likely from Elaina! It's also not impossible that Vax's depression is inherited from Elaina and exacerbated by circumstance - some parts of mental health, especially any hormone imbalances, can be heritable. We know too that the twins loved her and felt loved and cared for by her, so she was likely doing her best to be a good and loving single mother to them.

Now, I'm picking and choosing for this AU based on what works best for the story I'm telling and that means that some of these differences between interpretations are mostly just gonna be... what feels right? What feels fun? And because there's so much up for grabs in her characterisation none of this is absolute; in another AU I might well change things up.

But the things I do have down are:

Vex's frugality comes from survival but her way with numbers? That's inherited from Elaina.

Vax's stubbornness comes from her; she never wanted to give up the twins to Syldor and he Charmed her into letting him. She just wanted support for their rearing, never for him to take them from her.

(Vax's ability to seethe and resent comes from her too.)

Vex's tact comes from her, and the ability to notice and think things out and sit on observations til you're ready to admit them.

Similarly, Vax's more warm social ability comes from her. Elaina didn't have the same pressures as Vex moulding her to be quiet so often; she knows when to speak up and isn't that afraid of doing so when she's sure of her standing.

She loves the twins. She resents Syldor. When given the chance to help her children again, she takes it with both hands, unhesitating and unstinting. (That's something else Vax gained from her: throwing oneself forward without caution for sake of those one loves.)

There'll be more as I write more I'm sure, but that's my starting point! I also think that, seeing the twins grown up, she'd be concerned about their codependency - glad that they're there for each other but wishing they weren't so dependent on each other. Wishing it hadn't come to that for them. She, as every good parents wishes, wants only the best for them - for them to have every chance and freedom she can afford them.

Send me asks about my fic ideas!

#elaina critical role #vox machina #enchantedmerry #fic things #elaina lives au #ask

[xexiar]

Keep Watching. 36

Ch35 Ao3

——

Chapter 36

When I woke up, I was not surprised to find myself in the nurse’s office. Or how I had my arms bandaged. Sure, I was upset that I lost but I also feel like I won. “Young Midoriya.” That’s when I finally noticed that All Might was in the room with me. For some reason, I flinched when he neared me. Thankfully he stood back.

“I'm sorry that I lost.”

“It’s alright. This was your first time fighting this hard with my quirk. And you at least made a lasting impression. So, rest, young Midoriya. I am not disappointed.” With that, All Might left.

I decided to stay in the nurse’s office for a bit longer. It was when I was completely alone that I thought I could hear something. Almost like a whisper. “That was terrible. Some hero you are. Kacchan would have won without question. Such a waste of a quirk.” I quickly got up and looked around. There was nobody else in the room with me. Even the other bed was empty. “What are you looking for, stupid?” Why does that sound so close to my ear? I looked over my shoulder, and no one was there. “You’re such a useless deku. Not even your body wants you. If wasn’t for meeting All Might you would have never had a quirk.” It sounded like the voice was laughing louder.

“You should have stayed quirkless. There are more worthy people that should have been chosen.” My chest became heavy as the whispers kept giggling in my ear. At that, I could feel sweat dripping down my face as my breathing became shallow. Even my eyesight was becoming blurry. It didn’t help that it felt like someone was pressing heavily on my shoulders as they kept speaking in my ears. “If you didn’t meet All Might first someone else would have gotten One for All. It wasn’t supposed to be yours. Hehe. Pathetic. No matter what you do you’ll never be able to make this quirk yours. All because it’s not.”

I wish I could cover my ears. “Shut up!”

“Who are you talking to?” I quickly looked towards the door and saw Todoroki standing there. He then slowly walked over to the bed. “How are your arms?”

I turned fully around and went back to the bed to sit. “They’ll be fine.” I then started to smile as Todoroki neared me. “That was an amazing fight.”

“Did I burn you?”

“Uh?” I looked at my arms and that’s when I noticed that my PE uniform was changed. When did that happen? It was then I couldn’t stop the laugh that came out. “I’m fine. Believe it or not, you didn’t burn me.” He looked me up and down before heading towards the door.

“I’m going to join the rest of the class.”

I quickly got up and rushed next to him. “Did the next match start?” Todoroki shook his head. As we wandered the halls, I couldn’t control myself as practically skipped alongside him. “So, how does the fire part of your quirk work? Based on how you have been using your ice half, does it also depend on your sight?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Well,” I looked forward as I tried to figure out what I should say next. That’s when I recalled things I observed during training classes. “I've noticed that whenever we team up, you tend to touch things that you want to use your ice on. I also noticed the way your eyes move when you're using your quirk. For instance, when you tried to cover us, you touched the walls. Your ice half reminds me of liquid nitrogen because it freezes everything it comes in contact with, and the way it forms ice crystals at a rapid pace. When you melt the ice, it just evaporates, which made me wonder if it's because of the temperature of the fire half of your quirk. However, your ice doesn't turn into water when it melts.” I looked over to Todoroki and noticed how his mouth was slightly open. Along with one eyebrow raised. “Oh!” We both stopped walking, and I turned to face him. “Are you blind in your left eye?”

That’s when I watched as Todoroki covered his right eye and looked around. “I don’t think I am. But I do have a slight delay when looking around with this eye. Perhaps the damage to this side is more than I have previously thought. It would be ideal if I sort out a professional to get that checked.” We started walking again as he put his hand down. “And when it comes to your observation, I am not too sure. I have never thought much about my quirk since I always just knew what to do. Besides the basics on how my quirk is formed, I am not too sure about the properties.” We just turned the corner when he just stopped. “After the sports festival, maybe you could help me figure this out. Or I could ask my sperm donor how his quirk works.”

“Sperm donor?” I couldn’t help but let out a chuckle. “You saying that sounds so funny, Todoroki.”

“How is it funny? I simply am using the nickname that Bakugo has given to my father. He also had called my father fireball . Is using insults the only way he communicates with people?”

I couldn’t stop laughing at Todoroki’s words. “Well, Kacchan had always… had a way with words. And with how your sperm donor ,” just saying that sounded funny in my voice. “Uses his quirk, he does look like a ball of fire. Kacchan’s nicknames aren’t always insults but how he’s able to tell people apart. Especially if he associates with them. Let alone the fact he doesn’t like talking. So he tends to try to make a point as straightforward as possible.”

“Then care to explain why Bakugo referred to you as Deku? Especially with the fact that words mean useless.” I ignored the strange giggle that whispered in my ear.

Taking a deep breath, I stuck out my tongue before giving a big smile. “Besides being the closest to being my name, both in kanji and saying my name.” I looked behind me and then at the exit. Then, letting out a heavy sigh I allowed my shoulders to drop. Since we’re alone and he trusted me with his past, I could at least try to tell him. “We were kids, Kacchan was so much smarter than everyone our age. He was able to read kanji before anyone else. I’m not saying I like the nickname, but sometimes I'd rather he called me that instead of nerd.”

“Oh.” I looked up at Todoroki. “Why is that? Why don’t you like being called a nerd?”

“I know, it’s stupid. But,” I shrugged my shoulders before leaning against the wall that was nearby. It was hard to look Todoroki in the eyes as I kept trying to speak. Not to mention how annoying those giggles were being. “It’s the closest thing to my name. So, when Kacchan calls me Deku, it’s like he’s saying my name. Sure, other kids had used it to pick on me. But when Kacchan uses it,” I bit my lower lip as I chose my next words carefully. I wasn’t sure if I could say that out loud. At worst, I wasn’t sure if I could admit it to myself. “Something about the way it sounds coming from Kacchan is different. And I dislike being called a nerd. But it’s not my fault that I like learning about superheroes and such.”

“But you are a nerd, Midoriya.” For a brief moment, Todoroki had a smile. Which I couldn’t help but smile again. “After the sports festivals, let's properly exchange phone numbers. Your observation of my quirk was very informative. And if I get a chance to speak to my sperm donor about his quirk, maybe you could help me understand it more.”

“Any time, Todoroki-chan.” Once I said that, Todoroki had a slight pink shade to his ears before he smiled. But that quickly faded as it came.

“Thank you, Midoriya.” For just a brief moment, I felt a tingle go down my back and my cheeks heat up. It was strange but in a comforting way. And as I watched Todoroki walk ahead of me, I found myself staring at his shoulders. I quickly shook my head. This was not the time to be staring at people. Especially when that annoying voice kept giggling.

“He’s cute. But not even he would like you. It’ll be a waste of time.” That voice just needed to shut up. It didn’t help that I agreed with them. Todoroki was cute in his own way, but that isn’t something I need to worry about. Not like I came to this school for such things. Yet, it would be nice to be friends with him. “Sure, a friend . Hehe. Kacchan doesn’t like you, what makes you think anyone else would? Tehe. Just give up while you’re ahead.” I quickly shook my head before taking a deep breath.

…

What the fuck! Damn it, Icyhot! This isn’t a win! I refuse to believe that I truly won! I can’t believe this! Just as I grabbed the bastard, a sudden smell of something horrid filled the air before everything went black.

When I came to, my body felt extremely heavy and cold. It took me some time for me to process the feeling of metal around my arms. That’s when my eyes snapped open to see a glass window in front of me. There, I could see my reflection and was shocked. I was chained to a wall of cement. My arms and my hands were in what I can assume were quirk cuffs. The kind they put on villains. And wrapped around my face was some kind of metal muzzle.

The way the cuff felt was as heavy as most weights I could left. But they pulled my shoulders down. And where they hugged my arms were just above my elbow. It was uncomfortable, yet I wasn’t able to adjust. Instead, every time I tried to use my quirk or move my body, the metal tightened and pulled down harder. I could faintly feel the cuffs cutting into my arm as it tightened.

I was suddenly hit with a strange and foul smell that was emanating from the muzzle, which made me feel nauseous. The metal plates at the back of my head felt sharp, and I could see that the muzzle was cutting into my face because it was too tight. In an attempt to free myself, I contemplated hitting the wall behind me to break the muzzle.

Every time I swung my head back, a wave of pain shot down my spine. And if I somehow was able to hit where the plates were, I felt it cutting into my head. So, I took a moment to figure out how I was going to get out of this. As I did so, I looked at my reflection, and it sickened me.

Is this how people saw me when I refused the win? Is this how people view me regardless? I looked like a wild animal. At worse, a villain. That bastard needed to be put down. Why do his parents allow such disrespect? That wild child should have never been born. Maybe he’s the product of a quirk marriage with how uncontrollable he is. He will never get far with that behavior. Whispers of my past screamed as I looked at myself. Maybe they were all right.

“You’re awake.” When I looked for the voice, I was surprised to see that it was one of the heroes from the slime event. Damn it! Was he here to mock me? Or maybe he was here to take me away with how I acted after losing. NO! I can’t let that happen! I need to find that damn Icyhot and get a proper fight. There is no way things will end like this! “Calm down.”

I just kept fighting against the chains. I didn’t care how I could feel everything cutting into my skin. Or how suffocating I was the longer with them on. Trying to pick up my legs is when I noted how someone bolted me in place. No one trusted how I would be when I woke up. Fuck them! Fuck all of them! If they only saw me as an animal, then that’s what I’m going to give them.

While desperately fighting against my imprisonment, I heard a sharp ringing around me. It made my ears hurt, and I wanted more than anything to get out of this room. The bright lights were almost blinding, and the ringing kept getting worse. Then, there was the smell that was in my muzzle. What the hell is this god-awful scent? Everything around me had my senses going crazy. I needed to get out of this! I can’t take it!

As much as I banged my head back, I slowly realized it was no use. I started to become dizzy, and the ringing kept getting louder. It was then that I finally realized what the foul smell was. The fucker was lavender! That stench always drove me mad when teachers used it to calm down the classroom. It didn’t help that every time those fuckers used it, I would be left throwing up. Damn it! This mask was trenched, which now explains why I felt sick. Did any of my middle school or cram school teachers inform UA that lavender made me sick? That’s probably why they were using it. It must be their way of trying to weaken me! DAMN THOSE BASTARDS!

And when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, the room started to move. Making the nauseating feeling worse. It took everything in me not to vomit into my muzzle. Then, the ringing was replaced with the roars of people. My ears felt like they were bleeding with how intense going between different sounds. Even warmth started to slide down the sides of my face. Damn it! The hag isn’t going to like it if I had gotten any degree of hearing loss. Damn it! I can’t do anything right!

It didn’t help that my sight was still blurry; all I could see was bright lights. I needed to get free and out of here! I don’t know how much I could take. It all hurts so much! Then suddenly, I felt my face being freed from the clamping of the muzzle. I CAN BREATHE! But I faintly saw hands coming towards my face. I tried to move my face away. Yet the moment I took a mouthful of air is when someone placed something inside my mouth.

Whatever this was had a strange texture. I tried to focus on it, and slowly my sight came back to me. All Might was standing before me and waving to the crowd. I still couldn’t hear, but I tried to focus on what was in my mouth. Which I eventually figured was my metal for winning the sports festival. Damn it!

Eventually, the platform I was on lowered again. At least this time, the ringing wasn’t there, and I felt so tired. I then watched as red glasses came into the room I was in. She walked over to me and tried to reach out to me. NO! I couldn’t help but growl since it was my only option. I didn’t want anyone near me. Then suddenly, a strange smell passed my nose, and I knew what was going to follow. Damn it! So it was her quirk that I had smelt in the mask.

When I woke up again, I was in one of the nurse’s offices. I looked around me and saw I was alone. At that, I was chained to the bed. “You’re awake.” At the sound, I quickly looked to the door. There stood that short old lady. And behind her was Deku.

“Is that really needed, Recovery Girl?”

The old lady walked more into the room and went to her desk. “He’s unpredictable. This is for everyone’s safety.”

I watched as Deku had that strange expression. He had the same one when he asked what our middle school principal said to me. But it quickly changed to that fake smile he always has. He then walked over to the old lady. “Can you at least get rid of the chains that keep him on the bed? It looks so uncomfortable.”

“No can do.” Deku’s smile started to fade as he stared down at the old lady. “But I can adjust the bed so he’s more in a seated position. Besides that, he has to stay like that until tomorrow.”

“Why for that long?” Exactly! Why was I supposed to be like this for so long? She didn’t say and just told Deku to go to the other bed. The nerd didn’t seem to like that answer as he started walking to the bed near the window. It then became silent, besides the typing sound from the old hag working on her computer.

It was then that I realized that I still had the metal ribbon in my mouth. So, I tried to focus on that as I sat there. Somehow, the rough texture of the ribbon was more calming than that lavender smell. I even started to chew at the fabric and was pleasantly surprised at how it gently scratched an inch I had in the inside of my cheeks. This was nice. Why didn’t I ever do this before? Maybe I could try to find something similar to this fabric to avoid damaging the ribbon. As much as I hate what this metal meant, my old hag would be pissed if I ruined my prize.

Eventually, someone came into the nurse’s office. It was the peppermint hair bastard. “No visitors.”

He didn’t even pay attention to her, as Icyhot just walked more into the room. I watched as he looked at me before stepping next to Deku’s bed. He then pulled out his phone from his pocket. What was he doing? “I know you can’t use your hands right now. But can you tell me which one of these numbers is yours?” So that’s what he was doing.

“Sure, Todoroki-chan.” Why did I automatically flinch when hearing Deku call Icyhot that? “That’s the one ending in 0298. And Kacchan’s the one ending in 1874.” Why was he telling this extra my number? How dare that nerd!

I then watched as Icyhot turned to face me and walked over. He held out his phone and pointed at my number. “Is that correct?” I just looked away from him. “Thank you.” That’s when I looked back at him. I even chewed a bit at the ribbon. And I couldn’t help but notice the way his eyes were downcast at his phone. He took a deep, long breath before looking me in the eyes. “When I’m able to handle the fire half of my quirk, I will fight you. And when I win, I want my metal.” I just nodded, and Icyhot walked out.

“Thank you, Kacchan.” What the fuck was that for? I looked over at Deku, and he was smiling at the ceiling.

#mha #bakugo katsuki #fanfic #izuku midoriya #bkdk #bnha bkdk #bakugou x deku #bkdk fanfic #hearing voices #psychosis #psychotic #chained up #restrained

[belabellissima]

Casually slides down your chimney

Your secret santa has returned!! Thank you so much for those answers to the would rather game! I'm notoriously bad at them, too, so I'm happy with the rambling, especially becuase if gave me a chance to learn more about you!

Honestly I think we had the exact same answers for the bonus questions! I'm a hardback fan all the way 🥰 And my go to in the morning is a coffee, but I love nothing more than my afternoon english breakfast with a bit of milk and honey. I think I need to try that masala chai wiith cardamom and sugar though, that's sound delicious!! And Team Rosalie is a perfect answer 🤌

When it comes to your gift, what I'm hearing from your answers is that you'd like a smutty multichapter feysand fic that's set in canon driven and driven by romance with LOTS of angst 👀 hehehe that sounds delicious and I think I already have an idea brewing in this ole Cauldron.

My questions for you now are...

What are your favorite romance tropes?

What are your top 5 favorite Feysand moments?

If you could change anything about the acotar series, what would it be?

What's your favorite song(s) at the moment? Which ones remind you most of Feysand?

Hello!!!! You have returned!!!! And this time I can answer before going to work lmao! edit: no actually I wrote for so long that I had to go to work before I finished and am posting this on my break 😂

And same answers?!?!?!! ITS FATE! And I'm so glad to know another English Breakfast lover!!! Truly a wonderful tea😌 also all the talk of masala chai made me crave some enough to go make a pot! I have had smh a fresh mug next to me and I didn't add too much sugar this time! and i have more dishes added to the never-vanishing pile but I have cleaned up the spills on the counter its f i n e

One thing about me is that I have a favorite pot that I always use for hot drinks and soups because it's the only one without a lip and so also the only one where I can consistently pour from it and not spill what I've just made.... but that one was already dirty :/

Also the gift already sounds so beautiful! Perfect 💯 10/10 I am READY to bawl my eyes out! (have you noticed yet I use... a LOT of exclamation marks?😅)

and for the questions!

Favorite Romance tropes? ooooh thats a tough one because a lot depend on the genre! If I'm reading fantasy then enemies-to-lovers is amazing, but especially so if it's one-sided! Like Jude and Cardan - he was in love with her and she hated his guts so much she thought he must hate her in return! Or Feysand in the first book, now that I think about it lmao. Other favorites include classics such as only one bed (or horse if its a road-trip romance), soulmates/fated mates, forced proximity, and hidden identity! If its more contemporary though, I lean toward fake dating, rivals-to-lovers (technically a branch on enemies to lovers but eh), and mutual pining/idiots-to-lovers. One trope though that i don't really like??? Is actually the love triangle. Because I WILL start shipping all three of them together rather than choose. (Or the back-and-forth starts to annoy me. Depends on how it's being written.) speaking of that if you like sci-fi books i would recommend Iron Widow by Xiran Jay Zhao, that's got a canon polyamorous relationship!

Favorite Feysand moments - Calanmai obviously, that scene is iconic for a reason and i get emotional if I think about it too long while remembering chapter 54, there you are. I've been looking for you I also adore Feyre throwing her shoe at Rhys after he dares her to do it again, Feyre taunting Rhys while in the Summer Court only to immediately get jealous that he does the same thing, both CoN scenes, and the scene with the bone carver when feyre admits she would have turned the knife on herself and Rhys is devastated by it. what can I say I love angst hahaha😂

Honestly I don't like that Rhys twists Feyre's arm for the bargain. Like... dude. I know you were playing a part but really? Also i wish nesta was a carynthian - the writer in me understands that her character development and journey needed for her to stand her ground instead of reaching the summit, and arc-wise it was a fufilling end, but the valkyrie lover in me is like... why couldn't nesta reach the top too? also cassian not saying ily to nes in her book?????😡🤬 do better cass.

Favorite songs at the moment are "So Hot that it Hurts" and "Conversations with the Dashboard" by Voilà (they are so underrated I need more people to listen to them), "Electric Touch," "You're On Your Own, Kid," "Castles Crumbling," "Willow," "Ivy," "Dress," and "New Year's Day" by Taylor, "Last of the Real Ones" by FOB, and "Da Selby" Parts 1 and 2 by Hozier. Feysand wise is probably New Years Day (I did title my amnesia fic with this song so I kinda have to pick it lol 😂 ) and Dress (but dress is also perfect for Emorie so👀). Voilà also has a perfect feysand song with "Figure You Out" - it just screams rhys to me in the beginning of acomaf saying "Really? Tamlin? You picked Tamlin? He gave you red paint and thought it would make you happy and you still think he’s the man for you?” Also "Hurt for Me," "Where's My Love," and "Better" by SYML destroyed me with the Feysand feels to the point that I immediately added them to my playlist! 😭

I think that’s it, what songs do you like though??? I’m always looking for new music 😅

Make sure you’re drinking enough water and getting sleep!!! 🥰 See you next time!!!!!! byeeeeeee!!! 👋🏼

#secret santa #ily take care of yourself! #as always: milk and cookies #🥛🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪

[dorn-queen-of-thorns]

"A farewell for a beginning"

Happened after ch. 138

Prolog

Eren' s and Armin' s point of view

The two friends sit under the dark blue sky, which can change the colour depending on how the viewer feels. In the distance you can see every single path that is bundled towards the horizon and looks like the trunk of a tree. There is an oppressive tension in the air between the two childhood friends.

 

“Eren! What have you done? ”, You can see Armin's horror on his face. The boy with the chestnut-brown hair and the emerald - green eyes, who has a deep vein in which you can sink. He looks for the right words, Armin notices that Eren is about to cry and is unsure .

 

“I know Armin, but please believe me. I've tried everything to save all of you. If I hadn't started this genocide, Marley would declare war on Paradise in a year and destroyed it to the last ", he speaks in a fragile voice," Mikasa will decide to cut my head off and she will ask you and the captain for help . There is and there was never another way out and I'm so tired of this. I want to be free from suffering ... ", the tears run down Eren's cheeks. He wishes that everything had gone differently and that he would come back to Mikasa for talk things out. But it doesn't work if he wants at least, that she can survive as one of the few.

“You could have talked to us. We would have found a solution together ”, Armin tries to understand his best friend.

 

Eren shakes his head desperately, doesn't know how to explain to Armin what suffering he has felt and seen. As an explanation, he takes Armin's hand and gives him the view of the founding Titan, which gives him a view of all paths. This means that Armin can see every possibility in the future, past and present at this moment. Paths that can be changed, but also paths that are referred to as fixed points and are therefore firmly written.

 

Armin sees all the options that Eren can choose and which in most cases lead to the death of all members of the alliance. The shock is deep in Armin and Eren understands his desperation.

 

“There is so much more that I have to explain to you, Armin. At that moment I will become a father and it breaks my heart never to see or hold my own child. "

 

Armin looks at Eren in surprise, “what? Who? What about Mikasa? "

 

Armin notices that Eren is struggling for the right words, "Historia ..." Armin's answer follows by giving him one slap. Eren makes no move to defend himself. He can even understand his best friend for how he treated Armin and Mikasa when they last met.

 

“You know that Mikasa loves you! Why did you never tell her anything? She still loves you and has not been able to move on until now, hoping to save you and can’t take other people into her heart, ”, at this utterance Armin comes Jean and the Captain into his mind. Both of them tried in their own way to take care of Mikasa and to help over her pain. Jean in his direct and self-sacrificing way, while the captain reacted very subtly, indirectly and carefully. Always a watching eye on her.

 

Eren rubs his cheek thoughtfully, “I know Armin, but please believe me. I tried. I have wandered the paths so often and saw two scenarios, these have always been the same. Either Historia and her child will die during childbirth, or you will all die and Historia survive with her child. I can't accept either ... "Eren's tears run," I've seen you all die so often. I just simply can not anymore…"

Armin realizes that it is his old friend Eren and not the ice-cold Eren who left Mikasa so badly hurt and destroyed with his words. “I wish she could see you now, Eren. She could make peace with it. "

 

“I know, Armin. But that doesn't work. With this wish everything would repeat itself. At least few of you, including Mikasa and Historia, survive this path that she is now taking ... It is the only way ... ", Eren looks thoughtfully into the distance," I want, that both have the opportunity to lead a long and peaceful life. "

"How do you know that it is the path that you have been looking for so long?", Armin looks at his best friend from childhood.

 

“Armin, there is a point that repeats itself over and over again. It is the point when I am with you for the first time in Liberio and I ask Mikasa how she thinks about me. And before that she had always confessed her love and the last time she gave me a different answer and said , that I was family to her and then you came with the others to join us... "

Eren looks melancholy.

 

“ I couldn't say goodbye to her. Besides telling her that she forget me and that she should have a long life, "he looks sadly into the distance.

“Please take care of Mikasa. She will immediately enter the paths and look for me ", he takes Armin's hand, "send her back. PLEASE PROMISE ME!

I don't want to have to go through everything again and I want at least a few of you to be able to survive. "

Armin recognizes Eren's desperation and nods in understanding to his friend, "I promise you." Armin feels that their time is approaching. "Will we meet again here, Eren?"

 

Eren looks at Armin and nods in understanding: "We will from time to time."

He scratches his neck thoughtfully, "Both Marley children will survive on this path, as well as Mikasa and ..." Armin looks at Eren curiously. "The captain ..." Armin's eyes widen and he has to grin.

“If I'm honest, Armin. I am glad that he can survive on this path. So she will be caught in her depression and will find a new task in this world. But there was never a way out that Mikasa and I could end up together. I asked her to forget me. She will try to fight it as I know her, but with the current situation, everything will turn for the better for her and shortly after our last meeting at the Survey Corps headquarters, she made her own decisions and decided to do more with the captain work. I'm proud of her. "

Armin remembers that at the end of the day, Mikasa was always close to her superior and trusted him more. It's just sad that he'll never see them like that again. He wonders how their work together could have developed in other aspects of life.

 

“Our ways will now part. I'll take care of the Marley girl now. Rainer asked me to send her back in exchange for his tank titans ", he looks at Armin again in goodbye," see you soon. "

#rivamika #levi x mikasa #levimika