#i've accepted reality

[uncanny-tranny]

I love trans people whose transness means that their sexuality is complex. I love trans people who adopt contradictory labels. I love transmasculine people who still have ties to old lesbian spaces and transfeminine people who still have ties to gay spaces (even if they themselves aren't lesbian or gay). I love trans people whose dysphoria has put them at a place where they don't want to engage with any type of sexuality. I love trans people who are confused, unsure, or questioning. I love trans people who toe the lines of queerness. I love trans people who are unapologetically embracing their sexualities. I love trans people who are working through internalized shame about their sexualities.

#trans #transgender #queer #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #honestly being trans has really complicated my sexuality in so many ways and i don't always see people remember this i guess #because i think people expect that trans people will assimilate into their gender and immediately adopt their sexuality... #...in an assimilationalist way where it is uncomplicated and understandable to even cishet people #but it's honestly more complex than that for a ton of us #like i've found myself in most of the situations i included in this post and i'm probably forgetting some more (feel free to add onto this) #because the reality is is that transness *can* make figuring out your sexuality more complex #and that is okay. we should acknowledge this in addition to recognizing that sexuality can be easy or less complex for some #we can recognize that transness can be linked in some way to a person's sexuality without being weird about it i think #because a ton of people are weird especially about trans people's sexualities or their assumptions about our sexualities #this blog aims to grow and encourage growth and acceptance - especially if *i* don't get it *personally*

[writeouswriter]

Bro, bro, there is no second Pacific Rim movie, bro, it was just a bad dream, go back to sleep

#i didn't even know it existed before 2022 #pacific rim uprising dni #pacific rim #the thought of it genuinely just makes me sad especially for this one lovely writer i've spoken to who was able to perfectly pinpoint why #anyway it's one of the few things i genuinely don't accept as canon i reject your reality and replace it with my own or whatever #the real pacific rim sequel is actually these two lovely series of fics i've been slowly continuously reading since 2022 #i don't even care that much for pacific rim but i care for aspects of what they created that i feel the sequel f*cking spits and steps on #and i care for the characters which they do so dirty :/

[celestie0]

when ppl get too caught up in the accuracy of situations in fanfiction or if things are super realistic or as they should/would be in real life etc etc im like. my tumblr user in christ. it's fanfiction.

#ff writers don't get paid to put hollywood level research into their stories lol #also keep in mind ff writers don't have professional editors either #ALSO i've read a lot of published books and watched massive scale high budget production tv shows/movies that have put way less #effort into researching n making sure things are cohesive n legit compared to some fanfics i've read #js thinking ab a m00tie who had an anon come for her for something like this n i'm still pissed ab it #just enjoy the fic you're getting to read for free #like obv i think realism makes for a great story and is part of what good writing entails #but?? it's ok to bend the rules in some places?? it's a STORY #that's like getting pissed at a fantasy book for having dragons cuz they don't exist irl #just say u have a bad imagination n go #the author's pen is the will of the world in the story perioddd #either accept them or dont. but don't make fun of or criticize authors if you're not fuckin w it when ur just sittin behind a keyboard #also sometimes i just wanna read stories that don't remind me of the harsh truths of reality lmfao like get outtaaa heeerreee #just writer things

[qpjianghu]

Mysterious Lotus Casebook ~ ep. 31

All these years, he's always been alone. You are the only friend I've ever seen him with.

#mysterious lotus casebook #li lianua #feng duobing #this scene wrecked me six ways from sunday #because llh continues to lie to him CONSTANTLY #but fdb understands that it's who llh is #how llh MUST be in order to LIVE with himself #and fdb is willing to put up with a llh who lies through his teeth rather than a lxy who is honest about himself #because then at least he'll be with a LLH who is ALIVE #and whenever llh talks about lxy being dead he means it #he cannot phyiscally live with the reality of who his past self was and what he did #so fdb expressing here that he doesn't need to know every inch of llh #is the greatest expression of love and acceptance I've ever seen #it's a devastating and bittersweet inverse of #the mortifying ordeal of being known #and I think I'm going to go cry myself to sleep now #(PS llh's heartbreaking little smile at the end is maybe the most sincere expression of happiness we've ever seen from him and I AM NOT OK)

[justafriend-ql]

This is the problem I will face for the rest of my life. NEVER LET ME GO Episode 10

#never let me go #never let me go the series #nlmg #nuengdiao kiattrakulmethee #phuwin tangsakyuen #melgifs #yes this is the 3rd time I've giffed this scene #1) because there are literally an infinite number of ways to gif a given scene #2) you all know i LOVE a good reflection a.k.a. identity questioning shot #3) this time i wanted to emphasize the sense of loss in the scene. #i wanted the coloring to be metallic and lonesome - like nuengdiao's necklace #the happiness and color of the island now faded. the return to the heavy grey of his reality #'this is the problem I will face for the rest of my life' and the problem is just being who he is - the 'only one' #and having to accept and clutch that truth in his hand because if he's honest with himself - he always knew it would come to this #all alone again and the only one who can - and must - uphold his family's legacy #spiraling in the tags sorry it will happen again

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

[pericky; a look into ricky's head during their meeting.]

---

"I'm glad you came, I wasn't sure you would." The wine pours, the sound of it drowning out the missing word in that sentence: back.

Of course, is the response, and the part of Ricky that's spent twenty years tearing itself apart to understand why vibrates with relief. It doesn't matter anymore. Of course, of course, he thinks giddily along with the words. He never needed to wonder why Pericles wasn't coming back in the first place; he was always going to.

I'm happy you invited me, and of course he thinks again. A lifetime of pretending he wasn't always going to either falls away. However harsh and lonely the world has been, all's right with it again; and the shy voice of the boy inside him that he's tried so hard to kill says, so quietly, I missed you.

#sdmi #scooby doo: mystery incorporated #pericky #ricky owens #professor pericles #anyway fucking end me actually. lay me down to die #i said i was gonna write more pericky and by fucking god i did #the 'why did you do this to me' to 'oh thank god you didn't actually do this to me' pipeline of abuse folks 🥲 #which like. their last conversation is yet another devastating example of ricky finally standing up to pericles' bullshit Too Late #ricky denounces him in the strongest terms he knows; based on his own feelings and opinions and the way he sees the world #(which: even then he can't bring himself to say 'i don't love you anymore') #(the closest he can get is 'i chose you and i can't take it back; the only way i can imagine not loving you is if i never had at all') #and pericles tries to go 'nyeh nyeh whatever i don't care' (and does a real bad job of pretending he is not obviously hurt lmao) #and ricky doesn't try to understand his logic; he doesn't try to reconcile a world where pericles didn't *really* mean to do anything wrong #his response is MAYBE YOU *SHOULD* CARE. #pericles' view of the world and what's right and acceptable are warped and *wrong* and he's the one who needs to get his shit together #'you shouldn't have abused me you shouldn't have killed cassidy you shouldn't have murdered a child in cold blood' #that is MASSIVE and i think it is really telling that pericles' response is to shut him down with force instead of trying to argue any more #and that in the end is the real true fucking tragedy of it all #ricky is making huge strides one after the other to take back his freedom from pericles emotionally #....and materially it makes no difference to improve his situation in the moment; because pericles doesn't have any less power to abuse him #he never has a triumphant moment where he Overcomes His Abuser and Breaks Out of His Control #there's nothing he can do to fight back until pericles is too Literally Dead to control him anymore #it is one of the rawest depictions of the reality of abuse i've ever seen and just. God. i love it so much #(at the same time i REALLY want to explore a version of events where he got the chance to expand further on that growth) #(the 'all witches are selfish; make all things yours; i have a duty' speech from the wee free men comes to mind) #whosebaby makes things #whosebaby writes #SDMItag #dyn: when i die i want you to die too

[barbieaiden]

wait i'm sorry some of you haven't had twitter tumblr until now??????

#i feel like i've had it for months. i've accepted this as my reality now #an ugly little dashboard #that also will not show me my drafts on the home page and forces me to go to my account page first. sigh

[baked-hylian]

yknow my first watch through of rgu I was convinced Nanami was terrible, I love her, but the bitch drowned a kitten in a river! but thinking about it a lot since I finished watching the movie —but I don't think she drowned a kitten at all. I think this memory is one her mind fabricated in a state of trauma and is using this false memory to cope with the truth of no longer having the brother she so wholeheartedly adored, since he drowned attempting to save a girl

#rgu #nanami kiryuu #I've thought about this a healthy amount #and while other interpretations are valid #I just can't in good faith believe she drowned the kitten #even if she does have an incredibly twisted form of adoration for her brother to the point of worrisome over protectiveness #I don't think she'd truly hurt him in that way #plus with the movie being a continuation of the series in the sense that Utena and Anthy both finally escape together #and the black rose arc #it's pretty safe to say that a valid interpretation can say that Touga was a ghost the entirety of the series #and that his death was drowning in a river trying to save a girl named Juri #to me it seems more like symbolism #that Nanami crafted the memory of a drowning a kitten and hurting her brother's feelings with that #as opposed to accepting the reality that he was the one that drowned #and it was her heart broken that day as a result #it also fuels the over protective jealousy she has over Touga #and why she doesn't like even mundane things like sharing an umbrella to happen with another girl #because Touga was once kind to another girl and it cost Nanami her beloved brother

[imminent-danger-came]

"I can't handle the fanon depictions of anyone", this is so true it hurts 😭

I‘ve never been so hyperfixated on a piece of media, without being able to read anything about it. The way every character get‘s flattened like a pancake and forced into a archetype is unreal.

I have like- 5 stories I can read and don‘t really engage with with the fandom in any way.

It‘s all just:

Monkey King is depressed and MK has to mother him and kiss all his boo boo‘s.

Macaque never did anything wrong in his life, it‘s all Wukong‘s fault. He is also secretly a mom.

What is Mei? Do you mean the month? Bitch can‘t even spell right.

Red Son‘s parents are still assholes, because parents changing for the better is impossible and children can‘t have decent parental figures I guess.

-Casually bastardizes everyone into an asshole so my fav has a reason to be sad-

"What is Mei? Do you mean the month? Bitch can‘t even spell right." IS THE FUNNIEST THING. HOLY SHIT. I'M CACKLING.

"I‘ve never been so hyperfixated on a piece of media, without being able to read anything about it" is also so relatable. I've never had my fandom experience be so self-generated before. I'm just kinda stewing over here, having fun, making my own gif sets and analysis posts. Maybe I reblog some fanart from time to time.

#and you know that's alright by me #Maybe some other folk want to scream with me #oughgh but your summaries are so accurate it hurts #At least canon is fucked up. #I should really finish my Red Son and MK fic. I have never written a fanfic before but hopefully it'll be palatable #the summary: it's post s4 special during the beach party. Red Son notices MK sneak off and follows him to Monkey King's cave #There is some convos about like. Idealization and living up to legacy and grieving a person that never existed. #MK is sad. Red Son does his best to provide some insight. #Tis a fic spawned from "hmmm DBK V Red Son and SWK V MK parallels are kinda interesting'' #And I thought it'd be fun if Red Son was like ''Look MK i've been there. But you gotta accept the reality and keep moving'' #Cause like. I think Red Son slowly realized who his father really was. And while he loves him obviously #Perhaps...there wasn't anything to live up too. And the Great Demon Bull King failed just as much as anyone else. #And post ''A Lifetime of Mistakes'' I think it would be cool if MK started to realize that too #aw beans I ranted too long in the tags again #oops #asks #lmk #lego monkie kid #imp's a little feisty

[suncaptor]

hope is just more dangerous than the reality it imagines away from.

#incoherents #I've spent the last half decade making plans in crisis and accepting the reality if illness and new trauma #but in some ways the only thing that can truly get to me is hope #but I also think the way I am so so terrified of it because I don't want to be delusional or calamitious or unprepared #it might be one of the most damaging ways I live my life #but it's not just losing a sense of safety i never should have ever let myself have #got even thinking about it is like the closest to reality i don't understand after everything how its still so true #but it's everything #every time i even try to scaffold a plan it's crisis after crisis and to survive i have to expect nothing. theres pandemics and severe #illnesses and homelessness and strikes and assault and even more illnesses and there's nothing in the ENTIRE world i can rely on #i am sick and I just want to rest and feel safe until i am able to heal and learn to hope again #but i was too dangerous to have ever have let myself. and I think my time just ran out

[7-oh-ta1]

Been trying to working on my trust issues thru writing and here's the problem: I think everything I say makes sense how does everyone else not think this way

#lindsay speaks #// vent ish #like yk usually therapist say it's coming from an irrational fear but i don't feel like I'm being irrational i think I'm very logical #like i mentioned recently i don't believe in absolutes especially in relationships and the counselor I was talking to was baffled ghhghfh #''not even your family?'' girl especially??? what are we talking about #and then it was how do you know if you don't try / every person is different every relationship is and it's like yeah #but someone always leaves first there's no other end to this story yadayada so then it's it's normal for relationships to only last a seaso #like ok so you agree there are no absolutes and shes like wait no. ok so what gives. there's no such thing as unconditional love #there's always conditions. there's always exceptions. there's always an end. and the majority of the time it's a bloody one. #so really why treat anything seriously.... it will never last soooo... i give up #literally everytime i have said ''yk what... I'm going to trust them. if they say nothing's wrong then nothing's wrong. if I'm loving them #wrong they will let me know. if they hate me they will tell me. stop worrying stop worrying!!'' and then it's always [ #[psychological manipulation] [psychological manipulation] [psychological manipulation] #and I'm left feeling like what the fuck is reality what is going on and they're like ''yk you're just not fun anymore'' and throw me away #meanwhile I'm still laying there in the garbage bin confused as fuck !!!!!!!! what the hell !!!!!! I'm not fun anymore because I'm hurt?? #and confused??? #so no. absolutes do not exist. and people will leave you for reasons such as ''too emotional'' or ''no fun anymore'' #and I've accepted that. i guess it's trying to unaccept it that i struggle with. #because logically. it just makes sense. #and it's ruining my life that i can't trust anyone #and I'm right about it. #and if it's not a universal truth then... it's just me. and I'm cursed #my b lemme stop being so not fun then.

[wikagirl]

man I always love it when I get intived to a new discord server and joint the vc to meet new peeps, get asked where I'm from, say that I'm german and instnatly get demands to say something racist in a certain german dictators accent tossed at my head.

And then somehow I'm the unreasonable one and overreacting for just instantly leaving again.

#and i's always specifically dudes from either america or eastern europe too??? #which always frazzels me especially for the eastern european ones #considering the amount of damange germany dealt there in ww2 one might think they'd also find this shit as horrible as I do #but apparently not #I'm sorry but if you geuinely think that type of shit is funny then you need to go take a hike and never return #I've met people from over seas who enguinely still think that heil h-tler is still a valid socially acceptable greeting over here #when in reality it is literally outlawed to say outside of for example media about the time period like a docu series with reenactment part #but otherwise saying that shit in public can and will get you into trouble #it can even get you detained #thinking that any of that shit is okay is digusting to me #germany as a nation has put so much work into getting away from that shit and becoming a better country #we've been trying so hard to make amends with those we harmed and learn from our countries past to not repeat it #and this kind of behavoir just spits right onto all that effort as well as the faces of the victims of ww2

[satanfemme]

being both gnc and trans is so hard sometimes. it's like, I'll face adversity for being gnc/trans/whatever-strangers-read-me-as, and in addition to the normal base-level difficultly and pain and fear of these experiences, I'll also feel on some level like it's "my own fault" too because this is what I purposefully decided to be.

I often dress/act like a girl but have a deep voice/facial hair/flat chest -- and I opted in for all of those. I spent more money than I can conceptualize in order to medically transition in those ways. while, in theory, I could've saved the money, not transitioned, continued dressing/acting the same way as I do now, and the problem would no longer exist... in theory. ofc logically I know that's not at all how it works. if I hadn't transitioned I would feel even worse. and the way I'd experience & express gender would still be intrinsically different from "cis girl" -- that's true regardless of how my body looks or sounds. which should all go without saying, because I very obviously don't conform to my CAGAB either. if I did I wouldn't be in this mess!! u know?

...but the self-blame is still there, because for better or for worse I did go out of my way to become myself. <- feels like a truism.

#the other big self doubt-y issue I've been experiencing lately re: being gnc and trans #is feeling like I'm ''faking'' something. to sooo many people I've just come out as a femme/nonbinary man #with no mentions of my cagab cause that's not something I like to share around irl lol #and then I complain ofc about how I'm treated for being feminine. and everyone gives me sympathy which is nice #but it's hard to fully accept cause I wonder how many of them are assuming I was shunned the same way growing up. #when in reality I was punished for not being feminine *enough*. #and ik it shouldn't/doesn't matter in this context. I still struggled then and I still struggle now; they don't cancel out #but it almost feels like I ''tricked'' my way into a marginalization that I don't ''actually'' belong in. idk #like as if I'm ''secretly'' a girl and just pretending my normal girlhood is subversive for attention #or like I should have just been content with the relative safety of my assigned social role #(hm... where have I heard ''why can't you just be ok with being a girl?'' and ''they're just doing it for attention'' before 🤔) #it's def leaps of logic & self-directed transphobia all around but it's hard to shake #and there's a real fear somewhere mixed into it all too of ''what if someone finds out my cagab and decides I'm not actually trans/a man - #- by *their* transphobic logic. even if they previous supported me''. #anyway I hope no one minds the long vent-y post. I needed to sort out my emotions here lol #I have an old ''omg I love being confusing and ambiguous XD'' post gaining notes rn for some reason and #seeing it again while mentally working thru the above just made me feel ill and confused and guilty. feeling better now <3 #and I do love being trans & I love being a femme & I love being a man with a broad and fluid gender #it's just hard too sometimes

[amos-reviews-main]

I find it interesting that Tinn seems to be the more female coded character in My School President.  He is the dreamer, the romantic, the more submissive between him and Gun, despite being taller, which would usually place him in the more dominant role.

Despite being a Dreamer, he is not delusional.  He is a teenage boy who has been pining after a classmate from a different social circle than him for years, constantly trying to be noticed by Gun, even changing himself somewhat - losing the nerdy look but not changing his personality - but constantly failing because Gun has been more focused on his music than romantic pursuits.  He dreams of romanticised versions of what he wants to happen, but he lives in reality and isn’t ignoring the evolving relationship that him and Gun share.

Gun is definitely taking on the more masculine Seme role, now that he finally woke up to feelings (that may have been there for a while since the birthday flashback). He is openly and obviously flirting with Tinn (and making him flustered in the process) even if the are still taking things slowly while they get to know each other.  They have both let the other know they like them, and they are both acknowledging the other’s feelings.

I will be interested in if Tinn’s fantasy’s lessen as the show progresses, and the real version of Gun becomes better than any dream Tinn has imagined to this point.  We know from the dance sequence in Ep 3 that even if Tinn had to imagine the fantasy dance to get over the nerves of dancing with his crush, the dance that was observed by their classmates and teacher was just as romantic and genuine.  

#my school president #tinngun #tinn x gun #amos rambles #character analysis #I've seen takes comparing Tinn to Toh from SCOY #as they were both dreamers #but their dreaming is coming from two different places #Toh dreams due to chronic lack of self confidence and insecurity #He develops a crush on Nuea and starts stalking him #because he doesn't think a guy like Nuea could ever like him back #Even when they start hanging out #faux dating #and Nuea starts actually flirting with him #his insecurity prevents him from accepting reality #so he creates scenarios in his head that Nuea couldn't live up to #to save himself from heartache #The secret crush stopped being a secret about a third of the wat through the show #sorry #I just really didn't gel with the relationship between Toh and Nuea #I watched mostly for Daisy and In #amos rambles in tags

[spiltcandycoatedpunkblood]

dear god, cis society really expects the most unpredictable standards. what am I supposed to do to get to be seen as a guy. I can't do that. forever gonna get pointed towards the ladies room and end up getting the disabled instead. taking off all my pins and dressing down and sacrificing my pride for safety sucks. some people just have a privilege that means they don't have to think about that whatsoever.

#often i end up living inside my own head and just #wish i didn't have to be so cynical about how it is existing as queer #transgender #people really holding up the gender binary and how people are supposed to look #i can't do that without sacrificing myself in a way #it's not fucking fair #queer #LGBTQIA+ #begrudgingly i must ask for the key to the disabled toilets #vent #rant #personal #nonbinary #transmasculine #i curse how much i look and how tall i am and it fucking hurts #being reminded when i've been in public and this happens #this shouldn't be an accepted reality #and yet #*sighs heavily* #*headdesk* #trans men

[neverendingford]

.

#contemplating the existence of loving yet uncommitted relationships. relationships of mutual convenience not romantic but still not platonic #tag talk #like. I want intimacy. I want to love and be loved. but the usual understanding of that is that you are committed. you are locked in. #taking a break from a relationship is code for “we're breaking up”. there's is no getting out without destroying the bond #I wonder if the classic Tom Cruise c love a woman but next movie she's dead“ trope could be seen as a version of that. #a socially acceptable way to love someone until you're done and then move on to the next thing. #a lot of my hookups have been a one time deal even though I would have liked to see them again. because they got too attached. #people see love and presume romance. people see openness and presume emotional connection and commitment. #if your friend is having a rough time and needs to disappear for a week. that's okay. but a partner suddenly can't. #there's less permissable distance in a romantic relationship. #why can't I do the classic spaghetti western thing? ride into town. help out and be appreciated for it. and then leave when I feel it's time #cue that magnificent seven quote that's like “cowboys are like the wind and farmers are like the land”. there are different ways to live #and social interaction is a numbers game. meeting people until you finally find someone you're compatible with. #and the more particular or non-standard you are. the more your success pool narrows. or at least that's how it feels #I know the reality is that there's more relationship diversity out there than it seems. because divergence is suppressed and hidden. #but that contributes to it being harder to find. more difficult to seek. more culturally shameful to pursue. #I don't think I've ever seen a fwb relationship in media that's not either played for laughs or turned into a romance eventually #the classic “men want fwbs and women want a committed relationship” ☠️ it's not a concept that gets taken seriously. #I just.. ugh. I feel like I'm pushing against the entire weight of my upbringing because what I innately desire is so far from acceptable #and I've unlearned so much self criticism and policing. but there's so much more to go and I just. ugh. it's so exhausting