#i'm tired and speaking nonsense. the words have no meaning but they speak my madness. understand the energy and you will understand me

[sophieinwonderland]

H-hey,,, i-i'm on anon because this is very e-embarassing to ask for... b-but i found this v-very long post basically fakeclaiming a lot of systems online and claiming that being plural is a trend. T-they also said that pluralkit is anti-recovery and a bunch of other stuff. I-i feel destroyed inside and I know i should not care about haters that much, b-but i was wondering if you can respond to the post in some way, by debunking it i-or maybe just saying that it is not valid. I-i understand if you cannot do this and i wouldn't be mad at you, i just thought that i might try. /gen

This is the post: https://www.tumblr.com/nbhdsc4ss/742946435586277376/im-tired-of-this-boom-of-plural-trend?source=share

Yikes! That's such a terrible post!

Alright, let's go over this.

First, just another reminder that if 1.5% of people have DID as is estimated, over a hundred-million people in the world should have the disorder.

Just on this alone, I find fad claims to be nonsense. We aren't actually seeing anywhere near the numbers of people with DID online who should have it. And that's without touching other forms of multiplicity.

This is an incredibly unhealthy outlook.

A system shares their life. The life doesn't belong to any single headmate. Hosts can change over time. And many systems don't really have a true "core." The very concept of the core is largely outdated.

What?

I think this post is killing my neurons! I can feel my brain cells dying as we speak! 🙄

Anyway, just in case anyone was worried this might be true. It's not. I don't know what they're talking about. There's nothing about switching killing neurons anywhere.

As far as I can tell, any association with cerebral palsy is also made up.

Honestly, I could spend eons unpacking the misinformation in this paragraph alone.

I made this blog back in 2021.

The Plural Association was founded in 2020.

"Endogenic system" was coined in 2014.

The Natural Multiples movement dates back to the 90s.

And "system" has been in the vocabular of all these groups since even the beginning.

And while it's not quite a medical term, it does at least originate in medical contexts. The only difference is that the plural community uses it as an identity label for plurals while most academic sources refer to a personality system as something everyone has, with the personality system of multiples being composed of dissociated parts. (Sometimes called "subsystems" in DID literature to denote alters being personality systems within personality systems.)

Words make communication easier.

Calling a headmate an "introject" is easier that referring to them as a headmate based on a source.

Also, blurring and blending generally mean that multiple headmates are, well, blending together. It's hard to know who is fronting because there are multiple headmates who feel like they're mixing, and it makes it confusing.

But another reason for not knowing who is fronting could be a sort of autopilot like in DPDR. Differentiating between these experiences is useful.

Wait... Affection between alters is anti-recovery?

You know, this really puts the earlier lines about non-host alters stealing the life of the host into perspective.

Not only does this draw a picture of an adversarial relationship between alters, but they're treating that adversarial relationship as being good for recovering, and feeling affection for them as a bad thing.

This is possibly the most harmful take I've ever seen.

As for the rest of it, subsystems (as we use the term) are just headmates more closely linked. I've never heard anyone phrase it as an alter having DID. But I guess I can see the parallel. And again, splits and switches don't damage braincells. Having a bigger system isn't going to make the "days of the body count down."

Wait... weren't you just claiming switching literally kills neurons? I mean, I agree that alters can't permanently die (under normal circumstances) but this feels kinda contradictory.

As for having different disorders, this depends a lot on the disorder. By and large, I believe any condition that can be psychogenic can be experienced by some alters and not others.

But what conditions could be psychogenic would probably surprise you. Look at the woman who had some blind alters and some sighted alters.

Polyfragmented systems were traditionally systems with upwards of 100 alters. (And "highly complex" isn't a medical term.)

And again, splitting and switching doesn't kill neurons. Having a bunch of alters isn't going to kill you! Nor will it allow your rights to be stripped and get you forcefully institutionalized against your will so you can be studied like a lab rat!

Why would you just assume the doctors are misdiagnosing you though?

I mean, typically, DID is incorrectly diagnosed as other disorders far more often than you have people be incorrectly diagnosed with DID.

Again, there's this disturbing emphasis on the alters existing for the host and being bad for wanting things of their own, which bring back to mind their assertion that affection between alters is anti-recovery.

And I just... feel really bad for the other alters in this system. This is just so... sad...

If they're not real kids, then what's wrong with them being on the internet?

I mean, yeah, all alters need pronouns. If any identify as a different gender, it's important to have pronouns for them so you know what to refer to them by. Why is this controversial? 🤷‍♀️

And what does the part about alters becoming useless mean?

Talk therapy isn't magic. Yes, it can help to speak to a professional, but I don't understand the view that it's impossible to fuse without seeing a therapist.

Oh, and the line about how "knowing things about another alter is impossible" is nonsense too. Most DID systems don't have total amnesia all the time every time they switch. And many who do experience amnesia can still communicate. They can learn about their alters by asking. And even ones who don't communicate internally can learn to communicate through notes and text!

...

Yeah... this post is just... so... so... SO bad. In every way! Just mountains upon mountains of harmful takes and misinformation!

#syscourse #pro endogenic #pro endo #psychiatry #psychology #multiplicity #sysblr #system #systems #system discourse #actually a system

[cleoselene]

I find it frustrating that you assume I’m seeking attention and refuse to earnestly engage with my feelings when I say I don’t wanna vote for the guy who is actively helping Israel commit genocide. Also, as a disabled person like me, why aren’t you mad at him for pretending the pandemic is over and removing all covid mitigations and making society unsafe for us?

if you're voting for Cornel West, you're voting for whoever Harlan Crow wants you to vote for. If you're voting for Jill Stein, you're voting for whoever Vladimir Putin wants you to vote for. Either way, it's nonsensical and useless. My first election was 2000, go read the wikipedia article about Florida and Ralph Nader, it's not my fucking job to educate you on the meaning of a third party candidate in an electoral system that is a Single Member District Plurality.

As a disabled person on Social Security and living in the bottom quintile of this economy, the Biden Administration has made my life MARKEDLY better. Medicare improvements alone have been a revelation. I now have so much more money in my pocket, no copays on my medications or any of my doctor visits ever, my food stamps have gone up. We are the only major economy in the west that is experiencing economy growth.

Biden has been dealing with a 50-50 Senate and has accomplished more than Obama did with a Supermajority in 8 years. I'm sorry that you probably learned about foreign policy three months ago, but if you think literally anyone else who has a snowball's chance in fucking hell will be better for Palestine, you are delulu as all fuck. Biden is not helping commit genocide, you are spouting internet catchphrases. Biden is not even on speaking terms with Netanyahu at the moment. Blinken has been repeatedly pressuring Israel to pause the fighting because Americans are being held hostage in Gaza. You speak like someone who learns literally all of their information from social media.

You're disabled like me, why are you giving away your country to fascism for one foreign policy issue you probably barely understand and literally no other viable candidate will be to the left of Biden on? Do you think Trump, who your vote will actively assist, will be any better? The guy who literally moved the American embassy in Israel to Palestine in a move designed to be deliberately provocative to Palestine? That Donald Trump?

Assume Biden literally told Netanyahu to stop. Netanyahu would not stop. It would not happen. We have not approved any aid to Israel, even, because guess what: Congress hasn't approved anything whatsoever.

And that is more words than I have been willing to give to anyone who responds to this post because in 2016 I gave a lot of words to people who ended up being Russian psyops agents, and I am tired.

But hey, vote for Jill Stein. Women dying in Texas of miscarriages going septic clearly mean fucking nothing to you, as long as you can keep your Internet Moral Purity Fad Of The Moment.

edit: re Covid that was a global loss and it sucks and I have no Immune B cells and I don't go out anymore but that is hardly uniquely American. Everywhere is pretending it's over. no one cares about sick people anywhere. anyway grow up and realize the world is complicated and if you're a single issue voter like this you are cutting off your nose to spite your face

#christ why do i bother #i have compassion for the palestinians but guess what? #the political realities are what they are #and no joe biden isn't doing shit #except repeatedly pressuring Bibi to fucking cool it #i know this because I READ THE NEWS BEYOND SOCIAL FUCKING MEDIA

[trashcanalienist]

Me when I turn on my phone in the morning and I don't have any meaningful notifications: so what's the point of living then

#i'm serious and it frightens me #i have never felt as alone and that includes back when i thought all my friends secretly hated my guts #i've never been like this before and i don't know how to deal with it and i don't like it #currently i've just been ignoring it and writing it off as 'oh you're just tired' but that is definitely not it. #turns out maybe isolation is bad for social creatures. who would have thought. #but it does go deeper than that. my friends...i barely know them. yet they know everything about me. #who is the skinner and who is the dog? and why can't we all have five legs? #i'm tired and speaking nonsense. the words have no meaning but they speak my madness. understand the energy and you will understand me #just woke up too. not tired so much as...justwokeup. notfullyawake. #time to watch my robot shows #stuff #mood #words i speak #frightening #thoughts #creep talk #creeptalk #in the tags #i am the meat lord #meat lord

[3desiderium3]

For your love

chapter five - On my own

[ series masterlist ]

previous chapter | next chapter

pairings : reader x damiano david

story summary : damiano and reader are in very loving relationship that sometimes almost too quickly becomes too toxic for anyone likings

chapter warning (s) : this is sad i made myself sad

" It was a pretty rough night not gonna lie .. She barely managed to fall asleep around 8 am . I woke up a few times to check upon her cause she had her nose clogged from all that crying . "

Victoria said over phone to Thomas .

It was around one in the noon . She was frying some eggs and vegetables for her and Y/N to eat .

" How did it went over there ? " "Jesus I wish I knew honestly . "

Thomas admitted sighing .

" When he came here last night he was crying . Like really hard . It took him 30 minutes to calm down and tell me what he did .. " " And ? " " I tried punching him in the face but I ended up hurting my hand more . " Vic chuckled upon the thought of Thomas hitting someone , especially Damiano .

" And I don't know he just continued to cry and smoke cigs . I swear to Jesus he smoked like whole 3 packs in one night . I am not sure when he fell asleep or if he did . But there was not much talking here trust me . "

Both of them went silent . Not being able to choose one side . Both Y/N and Damiano where their long known friends and dear people in general .

" Y/N is more than my best friend . She is my family . I would do anything that I can to keep her safe , just like with you . That's why I am feeling so guilty upon meeting her with Damiano. "

" Hon' it was not your fault remember ? " The other line was silent .

" Have you ever wondered how it would look like if they didn't end up together ? "

" Yeah .. I mean maybe .. You know I did often when I found myself in between their arguments . "

" Pft please , they where soft near you comparing to their usual . "

Thomas lighted up his cigarette , the sound of him taking a drag was pretty clear .

" I almost left the band cause of them remember ? At that period Damiano and I had lots of small fights and arguments . "

Vic turned off the stove placing the food in plates skillfully.

" Hold up I need to give Y/N breakfast . " " Aight I'm waitin' . "

" Babes are you awake ? " The blond girl called out for her friend . Y/N was laying on her side of the bed , all the sheets and pillows where thrown in the corner of the room . She didn't wanted anything that smelled like Damiano near her . Instead she slept on bare mattress , Victoria's traveling pillow and she covered herself with the blanket from living room .

" I am not hungry yet , can you just please leave the plate here ? "

" Sure I'll be downstairs . Just call . "

No respond , she just closed the door behind her after glancing at Y/N last time .

Vic was cleaning the stinky apartment whole morning , it was not bothering her in fact . She knew Y/N would do the same for her .

" Tom you there ? " She cooed once her phone was in her grasp again . " Yeah yeah I was talking to Damiano . " " Is he alright ? " " I am not sure really . I think not obviously , but now after this I am not expecting anything normal from him ever again . " " Oh come on it was a - " " If you just dare to finish the sentence I will kill you . How can that be an accident ?? Rape is not an accident ! He was fully aware Victoria !! " " Pshh be quite you idiot ! " She tried hushing her friend after turning around herself paranoid like someone overheard their conversation .

" He is showering now don't worry . We should not be taking sides on this one but Vic .. He is not good for her ... Neither is she for him .. This is lasting for 3 years .. Remember ? "

" Don't fucking remind me . "

Silence . Both of them trying to understand the policy of their friends relationship .

" He threatened to kill himself so many times if she leaves him .. "

" She was so heartbroken each time that she was the one actually considering suicide . "

" I remember one time they had some huge fight as always and she came to my house in like 3 am crying and talking some nonsenses . "

" They never had a filter , especially around us , sometimes it gets just too tiring ya know ? "

" They made me and Ethan cry so many times Jesus Vic you have the biggest nerve here . " Her friend admitted with chuckle.

" Should we like ... talk to them each day and convince them to break up ? "

Deadly silence .

One was sure . Y/N and Damiano shouldn't ever be together again .

" Are we bad friends for doing this ? " " Pft please , we are doing service to everyone . "

" I am so confused and so worried for Y/N , I will talk to Damiano later and then call you to see if something improved and to update you . How is Y/N feeling now ? "

" Not so good bro , I think she is considering that breakup as well . Everything is still so confusing and not in order . "

" Alright Vic , gonna call later , bye love you . "

" Love you too bye . "

* meanwhile in Thomas house *

Thomas hanged up his half hour long conversation with Victoria . He rubbed his eyes hardly throwing the cellphone on the kitchen table where he was standing smoking .

To be honest he was also crying with Damiano last night . He couldn't imagine the amount of pain Y/N was suffering . His still pulsing bruised hand started to feel a bit better . He regretted only hitting Damiano , but they all knew he was the weakest out of all boys in the group .

Damiano was laying in his bed dressed in his chlotes fresh out of shower.

Crying again .

It was slowly starting to make Thomas mad .

' Why didn't he cry last night when he abused her? '

" Oi , whats the matter now ? Why are you crying again ? Cause you are an asshole or complete idiot ? " " Thomas shut the fuck up . I am not capable of having that conversation . " Damiano's voice was raspy and cracked .

" Well we are gonna have this conversation , in fact right now . Where where your tears last night when you raped her ? " " It wasn't ra -" " It was ! You fucked her without her consent ! What the fuck where you thinking ! "

" I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING ! "

He stood up from the bed crying his bottom lip shaking .

" I DON'T FUCKING KNOW ! I WAS MAD AT HER ! MICHAEL WAS THERE ! I HAD THE WORST SCENARIOS RUNNING THROUGH MY HEAD I GOT SCARED ! "

Thomas was in slight shock . Was Damiano really that dumb ?

" Are you serious ? I can't actually believe how selfish and egoistic you are . You raped my best friend because you got mad at her that her ex was there ? "

This was actually the first time in 3 years someones words affected Damiano about his behavior towards Y/N . He sat back on the bed holding his head in his hands .

" I took you in cause I care about you . You are my friend . But I will never forgive you this . You can stay here as much as you want but don't expect any special treatment from me . "

" Should I call her ? I must apologize . "

Thomas snorted .

" No . You must not apologize , you must beg her on your knees to forgive you . You must beg her to even look at you . I know I wouldn't if I was her . No matter what you do she will love you forever and that is the problem . "

Damiano was highly affected by his friends words. In his mind he was only picturing whimpering Y/N whose head he was holding down with his hand , her tears where soaked up on that backseat .

'I will rather die than look her in the eyes again.'

* meanwhile in Y/N's house *

" Are you sure I am not bothering ? I can always ask Thomas to stay with him ? " Y/N asked Victoria while both of them where packing some of Y/N's stuff in the suitcase .

" Yeah absolutely , we are going to spend some quality time healing and having fun . "

Y/N made her final decision , she was going to break up with Damiano this time for real .

She didn't have that much of her stuff , all the clothes , jewelry , letters , poems and all the other gifts she received from Damiano she placed in on huge box and left it on the center of their bed .

" Can I tell Thomas you are staying with me ? "

"Yes but alarm him not to tell Damiano .. I do not wanna hear a word from him . "

Vic simply nodded and in a less than an hour they where all packed leaving the past behind .

* three weeks later *

Things where only worse for our lovers .

Damiano heard no word from Y/N and neither did she from him .

She was expecting it to be honest .

Everyday was same as the other . Too long , too cold and filled with cigarette smoke .

All Y/N did was sometimes leave her room when she didn't wanted to offend Vic after putting effort into preparing the meal , she would listen to whatever record Victoria had , smoke all the cigarettes till she vomited , drink vodka away from her roommates sight and cry herself everyday regretting her whole relationship .

' He never fucking loved me .. I cheated on Michael with him just so he could fuck me over .. He never loved me .. He was just obsessed and he wanted me in his possession '

The fact Damiano didn't try reaching her was painful , it was providing sharp stings in her chest and it gave her headaches .

She saw him in every song , he was always on her mind . She wished she could delete all the memories and feelings just like she deleted the pictures . . .

Damiano was not much different than her .

He was also crying a lot , smoking a lot , not drinking but overthinking . He didn't knew Y/N moved out .. No one understood why it took him 3 weeks to try and reach her .

He didn't understood either .

He was trying to come up with the perfect apologize . He wanted to show her he was willing to do better . Willing to change . To prove her he was ready to change . He was sure that Y/N wouldn't return his calls . She understood her . He expected her to be mad and stubborn she had every reason to be .

Thomas was barely speaking to him . Only some formalities . Måneskin was put on hold their rehearsals , Vic and Thomas being very strict in their communication with Damiano while Ethan was very confused and unsure of what is going on .

Damianos mom and Y/N's parents also weren't included in the situation .

The day he planned on returning home , so sure that he would be greeted by her embrace , came .

He shaved his face for the first time in 3 weeks , he changed his underwear for the first time in 3 weeks , he wore simple suit and he drove all the way into the depths of the town to buy the most glorious flowers that his Y/N loved .

He wasn't planning on just winning her over with some flowers and gifts , or the dialog he practiced in his head and in front of his mirror .

Upon reaching the yard of their house he frowned . There was something different . Something wrong . .

He was walking slowly , looking all around himself , gripping the bouquet of flowers in his sweaty palm .

He stood in front of the door .

It was wrong . Something was wrong .

His mind scream . He hoped he was very paranoid once again .

His hand rose up to ring the door bell . He was nervous and afraid .

You are being worried for no reason .

He kept reasurinf himself.

So he rang .

Once

Twice

Four times . Four long times .

No one opened .

Was she home ? After all he came unannounced . Maybe she is sleeping ?

" Y/N! Y/N it's me ! Please open the door ! "

He was starting to sweat .

He searched with his shaking hands through his pocket to find the house keys . He unlocked the door . The house was empty and cold .

It was not smelling like her . Cause there was no one , she wasn't home . Not for an hour , not for the day , not here in a while .

He kept calling for her . " Y/N ! " He dropped the keys and flowers on the kitchen table .

He started roaming the house in panic . Even trying to sense some sort of smell . He was afraid she killed herself so his nose searched for the rotting corpse smell.

Every bad scenarios possible went through his head .

He ran towards their room . Empty .

Even their pets weren't there . She was gone .

Y/N left him . For real this time . For good .

He started to breath heavily . Tears forming in his eyes . The big box on their bed .

Inside of it all his gifts to her . All his clothes she loved wearing . He took one hoodie she often every time she was cleaning . He placed it under his nose . It still held her scent . Her ghost was there , in the shape of the memories one cardboard box held .

He was crying , repeating her name , calling it out . Kissing her dresses and watering them with tears .

He was on his own . There was no one he wanted more than her . He realized what he had once he lost it . He was alone for the first time .

taglist : @ella-nordstrm3 , @urskaa , @lovelysaltyland , @littleachaos , @whoreforhenrycavill , @13journals , @onceuponparrilla , @21nell , @davedace101 , @vainbimbo , @aliyeaz , @vandafabryova , @miriampraez , @foggyhottubcandy , @daringovangel , @inr89

#damiano david #damiano maneskin #maneskin #italy #zitti e buoni #eurosong #eurovision #eurovision 2021 #eurovision italy #victoria de an #ethan torchio #thomas raggi #fanfic #sad #romance #relationship #breakup #lovers

[bts-babyjoonie]

Potion Witch- Namkook AU CH 2

Paring: Namjoon x Jungkook

Tags: Witch Jungkook, Witch Namjoon, fluff, clumsy Namjoon, eventual smut, slow burn, Namkook in love.

Word Count: 2,620

Summary:  Namjoon is a potion making witch. He's also very clumsy and prone to making mistakes. Probably not the best thing when your job is to handle delicate substances. Every two weeks Namjoon goes into town with a wagon full of his potions. He delivers them to his buddy and closest business partner Jungkook. Lately, Jungkook has been having trouble falling asleep so he turns to Namjoon to make him a sleep remedy. Of course, Namjoon agrees and makes it for him, but he accidentally mixes up the potions and gives Jungkook the wrong one. The next thing he knew, Jungkook was a bunny. 

He’s done it now hasn't he….

“Oh god what do we do”, Namjoon gasped.

Jungkook was small- too small. His dark ears looked soft to the touch and the fluff on his chest was puffed out. His black eyes sparkled in the light.

“Jungkook you’re so cute!”, Namjoon squealed.

The adorable facade faded as soon as Jungkook opened his mouth to speak.

“Well, you know what’s not cute? This mess you got me in. What the hell are you going to do Namjoon?!”

He couldn’t take Jungkook seriously like this. He was a freaking rabbit for god's sake! The adorable high-pitched voice didn’t help either.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            

“Okay don’t worry, I’m going to take you home with me and we’ll try and find a potion that can turn you back into a human.”

Namjoon assumed Jungkook understood by the silence he gave. His tiny eyelids began to droop. As if he were to fall asleep.

“I’m going to pick you up now okay?”

“Okay”, said the small voice.

In Jungkook's eyes, Namjoon looked humongous. Well, Namjoon was always taller than him but this time he was intimidatingly large. He gently wrapped his arms around the small bunny and scooped him into his arms like a baby. As he laid there, Jungkook suddenly felt very sleepy. Namjoon’s arms were thick and warm, and despite his earlier fear, he felt safe.

Namjoon could tell that the bunny was tired. The transformation from a big to small body must’ve taken a great amount of energy from him. It was best to bring him home quickly so he could rest.

“Are you sleepy?” Namjoon softly whispered. Jungkook replied with a heavy-lidded blink. It felt like his heart was going to explode at how cute he was.  Namjoon took the end of his cloak and wrapped it around Jungkook’s small body making a sling for him to sleep. He then grabbed the other end and made a knot securing the bunny.

“I guess we better get going”, Namjoon sighed.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The trip back to his house went fine. Jungkook was asleep the entire time. Even when namjoon opened the creaky wooden door to his house, he stayed asleep. Inside it was cold and dark. Namjoon snapped his fingers and suddenly the candles were lit, brightening up the dark room. He set the small bunny down onto the living room couch and covered him with a red blanket. The house lacked warmth so he made sure to lite the fireplace as well.

Namjoon went over to the kitchen and grabbed the unreasonably thick spellbook he kept on the shelf. He plopped it down on the counter and started flipping the pages in hopes of finding a solution. After about 15 minutes, he finally stumbled upon a potion that might be able to help Jungkook out. It seemed he had all the ingredients except for the Nightshade. Normally this wouldn’t have been a problem except for the fact that nightshade was extremely hard to come across.

“Shit’’, Namjoon hissed.

The only person he thought might have it was the Elder witch. But reaching him would surely be a perilous journey. It seemed he had no choice though. Owning up to his mistake was something he had to do.

But Namjoon had an idea. Perhaps not a bright one but it was an idea alright.

Deathbell had similar properties to Nightshade, and Namjoon happened to have some stored away. Perhaps it could give off similar effects? He was naturally curious and wanted to experiment with this possibility. Excitedly, he poured water into the cauldron and grabbed the ingredients he needed off the shelves. While he waited for the water to boil he found himself zoning out while staring at the tiny bottle of dried Deathbell flowers.

”It’ll be alright won’t it?” he thought to himself.

“Well, I can only hope for the best now. Let’s get to work!”, Namjoon exclaimed.

————————————------------------------------------------------------------------

Jungkook was slowly opening his eyes but they went wide as he began to panic. His heart almost jumped out of his chest; he had forgotten why the world was so... big.

“Right, Joon got me into this mess…”, he thought to himself.

He couldn’t stay mad at Namjoon though. Jungkook saw him as endearing. Even his clumsiness made his heart pitter-patter. Deep down he worried he’d stay like this forever. He would have to close the shop down but most importantly he wouldn’t get the chance to tell Namjoon how he felt about him. Not that he couldn’t- but a human and a rabbit wouldn’t exactly work…

Jungkook’s small nosed quivered as he sniffed the air. It smelled good. What was Joon making? The scent was pleasant, it was making Jungkook hungry. The bunny shook the red blanket off of his body and clumsily hopped down onto the wooden floor. Once he hopped his way around the couch he immediately saw Namjoon in the kitchen. He had a black apron on which hugged his figure rather nicely. His hair was pushed back and his skin was glowing with sweat. Most importantly he was HUGE.

Namjoon was in the middle of stirring the potion when he spotted the black bunny on the living room floor. He gently placed the ladle down on a cloth and began to walk over towards Jungkook. His little heart was pounding with every thundering step Namjoon took towards him. He smiled down at the bunny and then picked him up.

“Hey Jungkook, I think I found a solution to your problem”, he hummed.

“O-oh really? T-that’s great”, Jungkook stuttered. He was so close to Namjoon, he could feel his warmth radiating into his small body. It made his heart beat faster than he thought his tiny body could handle.

“Are you okay Kookie?”.

Oh, how he loved being called that.

Namjoon noticed the bunny wasn’t saying anything so he set him down onto the kitchen counter. “You were out for a good while. About four hours? Luckily the potion is almost ready”. That was good news in Jungkook's eyes. The sooner he can get out of this mess the sooner he can go back to his shop and daydream about Namjoons visits. He’d get around to confessing eventually.

“Are you hungry?”, Namjoon asked.

“Yes actually”, He replied shyly. Jungkook hadn’t realized how famished he actually was. He could eat an entire field of grass right about now.

Wait grass?

Namjoon grinned and made his way over  to the basket of fruits and vegetables he had lying on his countertops. He grabbed a carrot and a cucumber and brought them over to the cutting board. The bunny watched as namjoon took a sharp knife and attempted to cut the cucumber and carrots into manageable pieces. The end result was bits of uneven and jagged cut vegetables but they were small enough to eat.

“Cucumbers and carrots have never looked so appetizing before”, Jungkook gleamed.

“Yeah, well I supposed that was what a bunny would enjoy eating”, Namjoon chuckled.

“Please, help yourself”.

Jungkook didn’t need to be told twice. He started going at the vegetables, loudly chewy on the crunchy bits of carrot. The cucumbers felt cool and refreshing against his tongue. True bliss.

Namjoon watched the bunny as he crunched desperately on the vegetables. It was adorable how his cheeks would scrunch up and down as he chewed. He was almost starting to wish he could keep Jungkook like this forever.

“He would finally be mine”, he whispered softly to himself.

“Who would be yours?” Jungkook squeaked.

Namjoon’s face lit up red as he stumbled over his words. “O-oh I f-forgot you could hear s-so well!” Jungkook‘s ears stood up in question. “Don’t worry about it bun bun, I was just murmuring some nonsense”.

“Bun bun?”, Jungkook gasped dramatically. As if he was truly offended.

Namjoon chuckled loudly. “I thought It was a fitting name!” Jungkook stuck his nose up in the air pretending to be offended. He actually liked the nick-name. He just didn’t want Namjoon to know that.

Next to Namjoon was the cauldron that was now beginning to bubble over. A purple foam like substance rising to the top.

“H-hey Joon i think the potion you’re brewing is going to spill over”. Namjoon immediately snapped his head over to the cauldron. He saw the liquid getting ready to pour over and quickly turned the heat down.

“Haha, well I guess the potion is done!”, Namjoon smiled embarrassedly.

He dipped the ladle into the cauldron and scooped up some of the potion up. Then he poured it into a small glass container that sat in cold ice water.

“Let’s wait for it to cool down before you try it okay?” Jungkook hummed in agreement.

“Oh by the way, before I can give you this cure I need to let you know something.”

What is it? Jungkook asked.

“Well, I didn’t exactly have all the right ingredients to make this. There’s a flower I need but it is very hard to come by-“

“So you didn’t add it in, I'm assuming” Jungkook interrupted.

“Yes but also no… I used a flower called Deathbell. Its properties are almost exactly the same, the only difference is their appearance. I used it as a substitute in hopes that the effect will still be the same. It’s understandable if you don’t want to take a chance but in order to get the Nightshade flower, I'll have to travel to a far place. I may not even be able to get my hands on it. Which of course, means the shop is going to be closed forever and you’ll be.... Well you know.”

Jungkook contemplated in silence. Of course he wanted to be human again but what if it went wrong. And if he didnt take the chance, he could stay this way forever. He felt his mind turning to mush, unable to think of what choice he should make.

“You know kookie, if you do decide to try the potion, there's nothing in it that would make your situation worse. The only bad thing that could happen is well-  nothing at all!” Namjoon said enthusiastically.

He was right. It was better to take the chance of potentially being cured rather than having Namjoon travel across the country in an attempt to find a flower that might not even be there.

“Okay I’ve decided to go through with it”, Jungkook said confidently.

“Wonderful”, Namjoon grinned.

He grabbed the small bunny and placed him on the floor. Then he took the tiny potion bottle out of the bowl of water and brought a spoon up to the opening. The purple liquid poured onto the spoon until there was nothing left in the bottle. Namjoon carefully got onto his knees right in front of Jungkook and presented the spoon to his face.

“Try your best to drink it all up okay?”

Jungkook nodded.

He began to lick at the spoon. Trying his best to get everything into his mouth. Soon the spoon was spotless. Not a single drop left. The boys sat in silence, waiting for something to happen, but nothing did.

“I don't think it worked Joon”, Jungkook sighed.

“I suppose not”, Namjoon frowned.

They both were quiet for a moment until Namjoon broke the ice.

“I’ll start packing tomorrow morning so we can leave by mid-day. Hopefully the Elder Witch will be kind enough to help us out. And Jungkook, you're going to have to come with me. I can’t leave you alone in this form. It’s too dangerous”.

“I agree”, Jungkook squeaked as he looked around the gigantic room.

“Well it’s pretty late already, we should probably go to bed”, Namjoon said.

Jungkook agreed. “I am still a little tired. A full night’s rest would do me no harm. Maybe it would even stop my head from racing and my heart from beating so fast”.

Namjoon frowned, saddened by how his friend was put in this situation because of him.

“Alright let’s go to my room then”, he said.

“Y-your r-room?”, jungkook spluttered.

“Of course, I’m not going to let you sleep out here by yourself, so come with me”, he said softly. Namjoon stretched out his arms until his fingertips were at Jungkook's paws. The bunny hesitantly hopped onto his palms and was then lifted up into Namjoon’s strong arms.

Namjoon walked to his bedroom and opened the door with one arm, holding on to Jungkook with the other. The bunny began sniffing the air as soon as they were inside. His little nose twitched as he breathed in Namjoon’s scent. The entire house smelled like him but this room had the strongest scent.

He set the small bunny onto the fluffy bedsheets and walked over to his wooden wardrobe to grab a pair of pajamas. “I’ll be back Kookie. I need to shower first. Uh- I don’t suppose you would want to shower right now would you?” Jungkook shook his head furiously.

“Right, I thought so”, he chuckled.

Namjoon left the room and now it was only the small bunny. His dark eyes peered around his surroidnings. The bedroom was nicely decorated and it fit Namjoon’s personality well. There were multiple plants sitting on his window sill and in the corner of the room was his desk. On it was an opened jar of black ink with a feather pen laying beside it. All of his furniture was made out of light wood including the bed frame. The bedsheets were completely white and soft to the touch. Jungkook couldn’t help but roll in them.

A few moments had passed and Jungkook was beginning to drift into sleep. Suddenly he could hear footsteps down the hallway and soon after the door opened. Jungkook immediately stood awake. Standing at the door frame was the tall and handsome Kim Namjoon with his soaked blonde hair and plaid red pajamas.

Jungkook gulped nervously. If he were human at this moment, the blush on his face would surely be visible. Namjoon ruffled his hair with the towel he had on hand then spoke.“Sorry to wake you up, bun.”

“N-no, it's okay. I wasn’t fully asleep yet” Jungkook said, his voice soudnign higher than it already was.

Namjoon smiled and his half moon eye made an appearance. “You are so cute like this Kookie!” Jungkook giggled, he was happy to make Joon smile after such a long and stressful day.

Namjoon walked over to the right side of his bed and lifted the sheet. He made himself comfortable then motioned his hand to make the bunny come over. Jungkook’s body began to move on its own until he was right next to Namjoons face.

Jungkook huffed. “It’s unfair you can use your magic while I can’t!”

“I know I know, I'm sorry.” Namjoon looked jungkook in the eye. “I promise i'll do everything I can to turn you back into a human.” Jungkook could tell he was being sincere. He realized just how bad he probably felt about his mistake. It wasn’t a complete bummer though, at least he got to sleep next to his favorite person tonight.

Namjoon snapped his fingers and the light on his nightstand went out. The boys closed their eyes and soon enough they drifted away into a warm and deep sleep.

The morning quickly arrived and light filtered through the white sheer curtains hanging on the window. Namjoon’s eyes fluttered open and the first thing he saw was a naked Jungkook soudnly sleeping next to him.

A/N Yeah I used flowers from Skyrim what of it.

And im sorry if there are some mistakes I only proofread it once; I’m lazy.

Also, if you have any constructive criticism you’d like to share with me, please do. I am always seeking improvement.

#bangtan #namkook #bts namkook #witchbts #bts witch au #witchnamjoon #witch jungkook #fluff #namkook fluff #eventual smut #bts #bts au #namjoon x jungkook #bunny hybrid jungkook #jungkook hybrid #bts fanfction #bts fanfic

[morgans-cowbaby]

Hey cowbabies this is for the @rdr-secret-cupid @charlessmithhasmyheart this is for you :)

I really hope you like this one. this is my first time writing for rdr and writing something in another language :O (i will double check my spelling but i apologize in advance if there’s some nonsense down below)

RELATIONSHIP: Lenny Summers X f!Reader

WORD COUNT: 1,549

WARNINGS: A LIGHT MENTION OF BLOOD/WOUND.

fluff with a soft touch of angst (honestly guys i don’t know)

All this running from the law, pinkertons and now this Angelo Bronte guy did you no good. You were tired, Miss Grimshaw had you working non-stop for days since the gang moved, you needed some peace. The swamp air is thick and you're covered in sweat, but still, all you could think about was him. You knew that talking to him would wash all of your worries away. So you sit on a log sewing a pair of old jeans, roaming your eyes around in hope to find him. There he was, sitting in the main room at the old manor house planning a coach robbery with Arthur, Lenny Summers. You were good friends since you joined the gang, he could always tell when you were not feeling ok and he would do anything to cheer you up. One night you woke up having a panic attack, shaking and crying, trying to scream but nothing came out. Lenny was on guard duty but he left it immediately when he saw your situation. Poor boy, he knew nothing about anxiety crises but he did his best to calm you down, and it was that night you finally realised, you are in love with him. Since that night, you’ve been trying to approach him in a flirty and romantic way, but you saw it, you were no dummy. The way he talked with her, you saw every subtle move he made towards Jenny Kirk, and the worse of all, you remember how devastated he got after the blackwater incident.

You didn't hate her, you couldn't. She was so young and you were sure that Lenny would be more than happy to have her by his side right now, but oh well, you can help wishing you were the one he dreamt of.

Suddenly you feel a soft touch on your left shoulder

“They will be fine. I'm sure they have a good plan, and Arthur is our best gunslinger, he will bring your boy back” It was Hosea.

Oh no you were so lost in thought that you didn't notice you've been staring at him for way too long. Did he noticed?

“M-my boy? whatchu' mean Mr. Matthews?” Was it that obvious?

“C'mon now dear, I've seen the way you look at each other. Just like me and Bessie used to do” He says “And you are not very good at hiding it”

“I'm sorry but I don't know whatchu' talking about Mr. Matthews" You can feel your face burn with shame.

“Lenny got his heart broken after what happened, he would never be interested in another relationship" You think to yourself

“Sure you don't”. He says with a soft smile on his lips.

“But I'd tell you, if my Bessie was alive, I wouldn't waste any time” He says while walking into the manor to check that stagecoach robbery plan.

You try to focus again on sewing the jeans in your hands but you just can’t stop thinking about what Hosea just said to you. After all, having a relationship and taking the risk of ending with a broken heart was something you could not afford, not right now. By now, you’ve finished all your chores of the day and decided to watch the beautiful dusk from the balcony, from up there you could see Lenny and Arthur getting ready to leave camp. You have a weird feeling in your gut, like when something bad is about to happen, “What could go wrong? Lenny and Arthur can handle a simple stagecoach robbery” you thought as you walk back to your tent “and besides, they have planned it thoroughly” As you’re getting ready to sleep that weird gut feeling strikes again but you just brush it off, slowly closing your eyes.

Suddenly you wake up to the familiar sound of horse hooves hitting the soft mud, but something is wrong, that gut feeling is back and it’s stronger. You head off your tent expecting the worst but you see them, Arthur and Lenny, getting off from their horses with some cash and valuables in hand. “Well, everything is fine” You thought as your eyes roamed over Lenny’s body and then you finally found out why you had the weird feeling in your gut. Lenny was shot, you froze in place when you saw the big blood stain on his right arm. You ran to him.

“Lenny oh my! What happened to your arm” You said loudly, but not loud enough to wake the camp

"The boy’s gonna be ok Miss Y/N” Arthur said heading inside the manor, leaving both of you alone.

"Yeah, that’s nothing to worry about. I was grazed by a bullet, I’m not feeling any pain” Lenny said gently, while making his way to his tent.

"Please let me take a look. You said grabbing his hand lightly and guiding him to your tent”

"It’s ok Y/N, I’m telling you”. He protests but still, he follows you.

“I don’t want to bother you this late at night”, he says while standing at the opening of your tent.

"Nonsense” You said motioning for him to sit on your cot. He slowly makes his way to your thin cot and starts to roll up the blood soaked white sleeves from his shirt.

"Oh no, this is bad”. You say grabbing the little first-aid kit you kept next to your clothes. “But luckily you won’t be needing stitches”. With iodine and a clean gauze in hands, you lean forward and start cleaning his arm.

"Hey that hurts!" Lenny said as he flinched

"If you keep moving it’s gonna take longer to finish it”. You said holding his arm down

“It’s easy to talk when you’re not the one with medicine on your wound” He says jokingly

“I would never hurt you Lenny” You said while cutting a piece of the gauze to make the final bandage. “I love you actually”. You freeze, you can’t believe you just said that, but you did. And worse comes next.

Lenny had a confused look in his face, his mouth was open but he didn’t say a word. You look away and start to have a panic attack “WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT OH LORD WHAT DO I DO NOW?” You thought while wrapping the gauze around his arm as fast as you could, without looking at his face.

“Well, we’re done!” You said basically screaming “You can go to your tent now Lenny, if you need anything I’ll be here” Your legs were shaking but you managed to stand up and walk to the front of your tent.

“Y/N…” Lenny touched your shoulder “You serious?” He asked

“I’m so sorry Lenny I don’t know why I said that. I shouldn't, you’re still in love with Jenny and I’m sorry about what happened to her. But please don’t be mad at me it’s ok you can leave and we’ll never talk about this again” You talked so fast that it felt like the words were pouring off your mouth.

“Y/N calm down… look at me please” He spoke to you so softly, it was almost a whisper. You lift your head up, eyes feeling heavy with tears and cheeks burning like fire.

“It’s true, I loved Jenny and to be honest… I still do, even after what happened in Blackwater.” Your heart sinks as he speaks, the feeling of guilt running freely through your body.

“But she’s gone now”. The sadness in his eyes is slowly fading away. “Y/N, I like you too” Your body is finally relaxing, his reaction wasn’t so bad, was it? He didn’t say i love you back to you, but at least he wasn’t angry.

“And…. umm…” Lenny was the nervous one now “I like you enough to have you as my partner”

“REALLY?” Your heart jumps with joy only to be interrupted as he continues to speak

“But not right now, we have the law and pinkertons on our neck, I just can’t afford to lose another loved one”.

Now what? Your body is burning from embarrassment, eyes feeling heavy with tears again while you open your mouth to say something but your brain is not cooperating, your mind is blank. Lenny cups your face with his calloused fingers and lays his rough lips against yours, kissing you. You were surprised at first, but you kissed him back.

“It’s ok Y/N, you don’t have to say a word. I know you’re feeling confused right now but we will soon be out of this mess” He says as he caresses your face

“Yeah, I heard Hosea talking about a bank robbery, it seems like a good score.” You said while sitting back on your cot

“It better be” Lenny says as he sits by your side and pulls you for a hug “With that amount of money on our hands, we can leave this whole mess” He pulls you again for a passionate kiss, this time you open your mouth and let his tongue in.

“I think we’re going to Tahiti,” You say while letting out a soft chuckle and he slides his fingers through your hair.

“Honestly, I’d be happy anywhere.” Lenny says “As long I have no worries and you by my side”.

#rdr secret cupid 2021 #lenny summers #red dead redemption #rdr2

[randomnessunicorn-imagine]

I'm going to a job interview in Friday, it's my first full time job ever, can I request the Papies to say something motivational for me pleeease :D ?

{ Oh, good luck.I believe you can fly, I believe you can touch the sky!Then, I added also Mafia! Papyrus since he is a cutie badass ~ }

👍 Pappy ~

When we talk about motivational speeches, he is the supreme expert. Nobody can make you feel better than him. Pappy knows exactly the right words to say when you are sad or when you don’t believe in yourself. He is the greatest friend you could aspire.Pappy smiles at you, saying that you don’t have to be afraid since you are so great, «Oh, human. There’s no reason why you should be worried since you are so great, you are the greatest’s Great Papyrus Friend, after all. I wouldn’t say it if it was not the truth. Trust me! », he gives you a sweet smile, speaking with his voice full of enthusiasm and vigour, «I truly believe in you, you have already demonstrated you are so talented and good in what you do. You are quite great as me, and it’s so rare finding this kind of people nowadays, but you are», he puts his hand on your shoulder gently, and his words cannot be nicer than it.«Then, if the things won’t go in the right way, it’s not your fault because you did your best anyway. You tried, at least and it’s very important. You know? Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new, so you won’t regret anything», he keeps looking at you with his gentle and sweet expression, «Then, you will have so many possibilities. But I am still sure everything will be fine. Whatever happens, I will be by your side, forever.»Pappy is so delicious and he will be always proud of you no matter if you win or if you lose, he will stand by you in every occasion because he knows how great you are and he will never be tired to remember it every time you forget.

👍 The Edge Lord ~

He is not so good with motivational speeches and he acts so harsh and cold with people in general. In this particular occasion, he will try to be less thug even if you have to read between the lines but he does not mean to hurt you or something. For Papyrus, it’s difficult to show his true emotions without seeming a kind of embarrassing idiot. Papyrus truly tries but don’t laugh at his face or he will never do it again, «Uhm… Human, what do you want? Why are you looking at me in that way, like you expect something», he is studying your expression and he’s confused. Actually, he is the one who pushed you to find a job because it’s very important and you have to learn how to be independent. Don’t become like that lazybones of his brother, please. One Sans is enough!Then, you explain to him that you are nervous because you have an important job interview and you have afraid to fail. Papyrus shakes his head, explaining that you are not as great as he is and you need so much effort if you want to success this quest but you are not stupid so if you truly care about it you can pass the test. Yes, he has a weird way to compliment to persons; he uses negative sentences that are veiled compliments.His voice is austere and strong as always and maybe it can scare you instead of give you hope and positivity, «As I said, you are not as great as me –nobody is- but you are less idiot and useless than other humans I saw –or any creature in general-, so your behaviour is nonsense. Rather than complain and moaning about your possible failures, you should prepare yourself for the imminent battle!» for him everything is like a fight and you have to prepare a strategy if you want to win. Papyrus explains you all the tricks about it, giving you practical advices about the behaviour you should have in front of the person who checks you and what you have to show of yourself and what you have to say. He is giving you a real lesson about job interview, he is just like a manual!

👍 Stretch ~

Maybe you have contacted the wrong skeleton, Papyrus has no idea how to be useful this moment (or in general in all his existence).  His brother is the sweet and gentle skeleton, not him. Sans will support you in the best way. Why are you asking to this lazy ass something like it? You keep looking at him with those puppy eyes he cannot deny. He will try but don’t complain if you will feel more demotivated than before after you listened to his speeches.You know he’s a jerk and he has his own way to communicate things, «Whatever you do always give 100 %. Unless you are donating blood». Yes, he will use his funny jokes because in the most difficult situations a laugh can help you more than thousand advices. We can say, it’s his speciality, «Even if things won’t go for the best, chill out. You tried and they are the assholes who don’t understand a thing. They are the ones who have lost a good worker. You are so young, and you are not a lazybones like me. Yeah, you can rule the world if you want. Take it easy, but if you get mad, just think of a t-rex trying to masturbate. That’s the true sadness, ah». Ah, he had to ruin all his serious discourse like this, but it was too serious and he cannot handle heavy situations, so he has to say some bullshit sometimes (actually, most of the time).Papyrus hopes you are feeling better but you have nothing to worry, he knows you are determinate enough to win every job interview of the world, just believe in yourself. Yes, Papyrus does not believe in himself but he believes in you.

👍 Rus ~

Papyrus is very good with words and his vocabulary is very extend and big but it does not occur quite frequently that he has to do a pep talk to somebody else since his brother usually pumps himself alone and Sans wants to hear only compliments from Papyrus.Being a deep and intellectual skeleton, he will use some quotes to impress you, giving you some good advice or some simple words of encouragement but he thinks you don’t need that since you are still super and smart so you should go there, showing your value that is so obvious. You rock, babe!After he contemplates your figure, with his placid and low voice, he speaks, «Oh, star… Are you afraid you are going to fail? Na, bullshit, you are capable enough to handle it…», he smokes his cigarette staring into the space, «Ah, it’s not enough, I guess… Then, it’s only a job, you’ll find another anyway. No job is forever. I’m still searching for the perfect one for me…», maybe he is not searching for anything but it’s not a real problem for him. Papyrus is a man with not so much needs. The most important things in life are few; a roof that covers your head, a place when you can sleep and someone that welcomes you at home. Somebody you can call home. That’s truly important. He found all these things in you so he’s happy. «You know, we all learn by our mistakes so don’t be too worried, it’s not the end. Until we’re still here, it’s not. It’s just a job…You’ll be fine.», he’s such an existential person and it’s difficult to him saying something positive since he is a pessimist for nature. Anyway, be believes in your capacity, you can do it even without his help.

BONUS ;

👍 Mafia! Papyrus ~

Lucky Strike is a gangster so it’s difficult to him to do such a thing but he is glad you care about his opinion and support since you are part of his family so he will do everything in his power to help you.His job is so difficult so he is happy you have not chosen the path of crime since it’s so dangerous and unfair. If he could came back at his past, he would change it and his dreams were different. He will suggest you to follow your dreams no matter what other people say. Sometimes he is so childish and he likes losing himself in weird thoughts when life was so easy and carefree. «Ah, doll face you know, you don’t have to worry. The real problems in life are others even if job is an important part of life…», he smiles softly, then he caresses your cheek with delicacy. «You should do what you love. At first, everything seems so difficult and it’s easy to mess up with people, and you are talking with the one who saw himself in so many troubles», he laughs thinking about his devious past, when he was a newbie gangster and he was afraid of everything.«You will learn from experiences and you will increment yourself. What did that man say? “If you can dream it, you can do it. Always remember that this whole thing was started with a dream and a mouse”. You have a dream so you need only a mouse. The right inspiration, you know. I am not sure if you will find that inspiration there, but who knows?», he feels so stupid and old telling this stuff but it’s funny.«Anyway, sweetie, don’t talk with my brother about this conversation, he is still thinking you want to join the gang and he wants to give you a K -47 and maybe it’s not your real dream… Ouch-! I hate to disappoint Sans… Think about it, if you’ll find that job shitty you still know the way home», good to know, don’t you think?  

#randomnessunicorn-imagine #hamsterandtrianglenose #ask #undertale headcanons #undertale scenarios #undertale #underfell #fellswap #mafiatale #undertale papyrus #underswap papyrus #underfell papyrus #mafia papyrus #fellswap papyrus #papyrus #x reader #imagines #good luck

[russdoc]

Murdoc comes home beaten up and upset. He's bleeding everywhere and he's acting like it's nbd, saying that he's been through this situation many times before. Unconvinced, Russel cleans up his wounds when Murdoc has an anxiety attack, not wanting anyone to touch him. (Hurt/comfort, established relationship. I'm self indulgent forgive me...)

So like I already had this kind of fic in mind? and it’s been sitting in my drafts for ages. This prompt really motivated me to finally finish it lol. This is p messy and dramatic, but I’m happy with how it turned out. I hope you like it eyyyyy. I’ll post the edited version on ao3 later so sorry for any mistakes mmm. 

Triple Dog Dare, 1.3k words, hurt/comfort, established relationship, BIG warning for major past child abuse, injury, anxiety attack and talk about self-harm. whoopee.

When a punch lands in your face and leaves you with a leaking nose that paints your jaw red, you don’t go to the nurse.

Having to stagger your way to the office and ask for help isn’t worth it, because they’ll soon call your father to come pick you up. And that always, always meant he’d drag you by the shoulder until you’ve reached the car and he shoves you over and over so your body slams against the car door until a rib breaks. He’s calling you whatever name to emasculate you in his rant about how you should’ve taken the beating properly, like how he raised you, and that he wished the offender would’ve finished the job and killed you on the spot so he wouldn’t have to live with such a disappointment of a son.

Murdoc knows this. He’s lived through it more than once. Each time he felt closer to death, so he learned his lesson quick. He doesn’t go off running for help after a fight. He wears his bruises proudly, showing off to everyone (and his father, his brother; the strangers who hate him) that he can take it. Murdoc understands that if he showed even a minor hint of vulnerability, it would result in even more injury. He so much as cries and they kick him, and punch him, and stab him until he’s on his back and it’s all become so numb it’s as if it isn’t his body anymore.

But here’s Russel -Murdoc’s Russel- who holds him, and promises him that he won’t tell anyone about this, he swears, and all he asks is for Murdoc to lay down. He promises Murdoc anything when he’s nonsensical like this. Murdoc won’t remember how he scratched Russel, kicking and screaming as he writhed on the floor.

He didn’t want his wounds treated. Didn’t want to appear weak. Didn’t want his bruises touched. He told Russel that he wanted to bleed out and die right there and then felt his body shake in protest. He forgets how he tried to scare Russel off, and breaks into a sob when Russel caresses his face and forgives him. Regardless, Russel guides him in the aftermath.

Russel’s brilliant at this. After the incident – the shooting – Russel had taken a course in First Aid, wanting to be of help in future. Standing by and being useless leaves Russel more anxious than the sight of blood. So, he eases Murdoc into a comfortable position; sitting against the wall with his head between his knees. It’s marvelous. Murdoc almost forgets the five blows he had taken to the stomach.

The skin under Murdoc’s eyes is purple and he’s got red, angry splotches all over his legs and arms that’ll turn yellow and brown soon and the color hurts him, but it hurts Russel too. Murdoc can see it in the lining of his face as he grimaces whenever Murdoc winces at whatever subtle movement he has to make.

After losing his soulmate twice, Russel really shouldn’t be scared of anything – but Murdoc still finds ways to surprise him. Russel jumps slightly when Murdoc breathes. And Murdoc breathes loudly – he breathes with all of his might and his voice is beaten and gravelly when he needs to speak.

“You should leave,” Murdoc says without meaning. Without want. It doesn’t impress Russel.

He’s thoughtful when he moves his hand slowly (no sudden gestures) and softly presses it against Murdoc’s forehead to check his temperature. His skin is turning gray, which alerts Russel that he needs to cool Murdoc down before he begins to sweat. He gets up from kneeling in front of Murdoc and carefully leans over him as he whispers (Murdoc’s too sensitive to hear, too skittish). “I’ll be in the bathroom for a second, okay? Stay here. I’ll be back.”

Murdoc obeys, closing his eyes and sighs. He finds Russel’s heavy footsteps comforting. He can tell where he’s going and of course it’s the bathroom, like Russel said. Murdoc registers that he’s in Russel’s room, too, with how his toes curl in the fake fur carpet Russel had moved from the bed’s foot end for Murdoc to sit on. He’s safe here. No one can get him from behind when he’s resting against the wall. No one can get him from the front when he has Russel nearby. And Russel is back as soon as he left with kit in hand. He’s so good. Too good.

“I love you,” Murdoc blurts as Russel kneels in front of him again. The guilt twists in his stomach and he’s so sorry, he doesn’t mean to manipulate Russel into feeling sorry for him (a memory of his brother frowning in the car’s rearview mirror at him creeps up his neck) and he can’t stop himself from crying.

Russel shushes him and tells him he loves him too, very much, tenderly brushing Murdoc’s fringe back as he does so. Russel applies a cold, wet towel to his forehead which fills Murdoc with relief. He chokes and heaves as the tears seem to mix with the towel’s dampness and cools his hot face. He holds onto the towel with his one hand, the other meekly resting in Russel’s palm.

Murdoc flinches as Russel cleans his wounds. He then effortlessly wraps Murdoc’s arms in bandages and he rolls up Murdoc’s pants before he attends to his legs, too. Russel narrates this, as well; letting Murdoc know exactly what he’s about to do.

Once he’s done, Murdoc curls up against the wall with his head between his knees like before. Like Russel had said. Russel sits with him, applies more bandages when the first ones are bled through. Murdoc’s face is still in the towel, and now his palms and fingers are wet too. Russel touches Murdoc’s hair, and when Murdoc doesn’t shove him away, he combs it.

Murdoc tells Russel that he’s sorry, again. That he’s just too good for him; Russel doesn’t deserve an arsehole that gets into bar fights, knife fights, stupid fights. And then comes home bloody and messy and a sobbing mess that pushes everyone further away from him. He tells Russel that he’s just so scared – so scared of being touched, being exposed - and he doesn’t know what to do. So he just gets mad and takes a swing at whoever, and oh my God, Russel, I’m so fucked up.

I’m just a burden. I don’t mean to be, but maybe I do and I’m just faking – nobody deserves me. Nobody deserves a fuck up. I can’t even take a hit. My dad was right. I should’ve just bled out on that bar floor and not have you live with-

Russel shushes him again.

He carefully, kindly coaxes Murdoc to rest his head against his chest. Russel tells him that he doesn’t have to explain everything right away. He tells him that it’s been a long day, and Murdoc’s too tired, too beaten, too worked up to rationalize any of it. He tells him the most he could do, for them both, is to fall asleep and wait for the morning. Wait till the wounds are healed and the tears have dried. He presses a kiss to Murdoc’s temple and tells him that he isn’t weak. He’s still here, and Russel’s so grateful for that.

“Would you mind if I carried you? To bed?”

Murdoc breathes. He breathes normally. Evenly. He feels Russel breathe, too. And it’s as if though everything’s real. He feels Russel’s fingers on his scalp, Russel’s heart beat in his chest, and Murdoc smells his warm skin. He removes the towel from his eyes and looks up into Russel’s. They’re tired, too. Worried sick. Murdoc can read how much Russel just wants to crawl into bed with him, hold him close, and feel okay for a few hours. Murdoc wants that too, but he also owes Russel him at least that much.

“No,” Murdoc answers, his voice quiet, “I wouldn’t mind.”

#russdoc #mussel #fic

[randomnessunicorn-imagine]

hOI!!! May you please do "I'LL PROTECT YOU! I'M BATMAN!" with UF Sans from the meme prompt? Thanks!!😘

— Post Scriptum: This prompt is so old but I had no time and inspiration for thinking about fanfictions before, so I am doing it now. Even now, the reader has a name that is neutral, since I prefer like this, their name is Alex, simple. It’s totally random-!I hope someone can enjoy it since I am not truly sure if it’s good enough eue’’

Prompt: “I’ll protect you! I am Batman!” ( From this list )Pairing: Fell! Sans x Neutral! ReaderRating: Green (General contents)

A Drunky Mess ~

It should have been a calm and relaxing afternoon and Alex should have spent this day in peace. Sadly, a certain skeleton has decided to get drunk just today. Actually, Sans had promised to Alex that this was the last bottle he touched but it was not true. There were so many bottles he had not only touched, it was like he was doing love with them since he was hitting to the bottle like Gollum was attached to his precious, so it was not a beautiful picture since it appeared very creepy and Sans was still a skeleton. The sense of macabre was part of his nature. Alex did not know the reason why he was drinking since when they came back home, he was already in those miserable conditions and Alex was looking at him with pity.Actually, those last days Alex was very busy with their job so they stayed by themselves most of the time and Sans could not tolerate to be ignored like this so he felt a little offended like he was the child who felt less loved by his mother. He was losing time and he hated working so much, it was a waste of energy and time for him. Sans said he did not want to be part of this capitalist society to justify his laziness. He felt just like the protagonist of the famous movie Fight Club, the man without a name who lived his life without any purpose and his main passion was reading Ikea’s magazines searching for the perfect furnishings that would have given to him the peace of mind. It was impossible anyway, and even this drunk Sans was telling free nonsense without a purpose. At least, he did not start to frequent clubs of terminally ill patients who got testicular cancer, and it would have been so problematic. Maybe Sans would have been a member of the A.A. if he kept on drinking like this. Alex tried so hard to dissuade him asking for an explication about his obscene behaviour, then Sans looked at them with a sad expression confessing the truth. Alex was avoiding him because they did not want to stay with him anymore for some mysterious reasons. The eyes of Alex became wetter and they felt a warm feeling in their heart since he seemed so serious in his drunkenness and everybody knew drunk people never lied. They hugged him instantly, patting their skull since this was a scene too adorable to be denied. «I was just busy with my job, you know? It’s the thing people do for living and pay their bills and all that capitalist stuff…», Alex said ironically, laughing a little, «That thing you should do but you are a lazy ass…», they tried to be playful even if this phrase was a hidden critique. It seemed, this explication did not help Sans to stay better because he felt tired and lost anyway, «Ouch—Ya’re gonna to become a maniac worker like my bro, fuu–», he said with confusion in his voice and then he started to sob searching for the bottle that was his only friend and his only hope in this moment. Alex was losing their patience since he acted like a little child and maybe they had to behave like Papyrus to have some consideration from this impertinent skeleton. «So, do you want I ask to Papyrus to kick your ass or you decide to be less lazy and act like a mature person, hum? ». It seemed “Papyrus” was like the magical word because Sans’ sockets became black and he started to panic, sweating like he already went out of a sauna but the sense of looseness was not the same.  Sans could not even speak and he felt pain in his ass yet so maybe it was the time he could stop with this awful show. Alex felt a little sad because it seemed Sans listened only to his brother ignoring them like they were not truly important. So many times, they have told to him to stop with those bad habits but he has never considered their opinion like it was not worthy. Only now, Alex realized it, and this consideration filled their heart with rage and gloom. Their expression became darker, and with a low tone of voice they said, «Ah, I am not going to call your brother, I don’t want to disturb him.» Sans seemed more relieved after this conclusion. Before he could answer, Alex continued their discourse, «Since you are unable to be serious and you don’t give a shit about me and my worries, I think I will go. Cheers to you-!». Then, Alex took their things moving towards the door because maybe Sans was not the only one who needed to drink.

Even if he was drunk, he could understand Alex was mad at him and they had all the reasons to consider him like a total insensitive bastard. Before they could leave, he started screaming that he did not mean it and he cared a lot about them. Sans was just a freak, so Alex was free to leave him since they had kept persevering to him even if he did not deserve anything. Then, his voice became harsher and the act of speaking seemed so difficult to Sans since his words turned into sighs and he exploded in tears like a little baby. Since he was still drunk, Alex doubted he could remember this conversation since it seemed he was suffering so much and maybe the alcohol was not helping him to dissimulate this stress. Exhaling a deep breath, Alex turned around saying they were sorry but they felt truly sad for his childish behaviour, «Ah, ok… We both crossed the line, and maybe you should stop to drink and I should stop to overwork myself… Ok?». Alex got closer to Sans showing a little smile, maybe it was all useless since he was going to forget everything when he became sober, but Alex wanted to try anyway. Sans looked at them like a frustrated dog, «Uhm… You are not going to leave me…?», that was not suppose to be a question because he wanted them to say the same phrase, but he was still unsure. Then, Alex embraced him kissing his bone cheek and his crying get intensified since his emotions were so much and he could not understand his mind anymore. «I am not going to leave you but stop to cry, you are such a crybaby. Where is the badass skeleton I know?», Sans sniffed in a way that was not that badass and Alex laughed. He grunted full of embarrassment because he had to be strong and cool for them, without acting like a spoiled baby. Sans, trying to act chillier than ever, stood up on his feet staggering like a monkey, then he took the bottle and Alex started to worry he was still too drunk. He raised the bottle up, screaming between his sobs, «Yeah, you’re right. I decide, I stop with this shit–», he looked the bottle with the most hostile glare he could ever do even if it appeared funny because he did not appear scary, at all. Then, he continued saying, «You know, you said I don’t have a job, but I actually have and it’s very cool.» he was raving again and Alex looked at him with curiosity, asking, «Oh, really? And which one?» they raised an eyebrow, dubious. «I’m a fucking hero babe, and if I’m drunk I can’t protect you… Yeah!», it seemed he had a revelation, « I’LL PROTECT YOU! I’M BATMAN!». Alex face palmed themselves but it was better if they would have seen the next scene because Sans’ drunkenness was still exponential. He hit his skull with the same bottle, like it was a normal thing, then he started laughing like a mad man saying he was fine and it was the final demonstration of his coolness because he was still strong and worthy to be their mate. Yes, it was crazy but Alex was happy seeing the usual jerk they loved so much. Maybe Alex had to be the one to protect him especially in these weird situations where Sans lost his rationality becoming a freak of nonsense.

#randomnessunicorn-imagine #anonymous #ask #fanfiction requests #undertale fanfiction #undertale #underfell #underfell sans #fell sans x reader #prompt game #prompt #drunk sans #alcohol issues #alcohol #i have to nominate fight cub every fucking time #yey #x reader #fanfiction #mini fanfic #undertale mini-fict