#i'm the wife guy

[w1ngsofwax]

*Stabbing someone to death*

WHERE IS MY WIFE

#I'm the wife guy #But like #I wouldnt cheat #Cheating in anyway is bad

[5ftboy]

"I sense that my wife is screaming my name at the top of her lungs."

#dimension 20 #d20 spoilers #burrow's end #burrows end #d20edit #aabria iyengar #rashawn nadine scott #jasper william cartwright #brennan lee mulligan #mine ** #i've just returned to my pc today but i'm alrdy *so* attached to this family ... #additionally we *love* a wife guy

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

That's the face he makes when he's feeling silly.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #I tried so hard to squeeze in the fact this bar boy was 100% down to take on wwx's surname. #Unfortunately for him...sitting at the table is a man who's biggest dream is to hyphenate his surname with that very same man #though as far as I'm aware taking on your husbands surname is culturally a very different process in this setting #but in modern times I think the surname thing would genuinely be a point of contention for these guys. #wwx of old would hate taking someone else's name. And wwx of 'i want to be an attic wife' future would want nothing less #lwj of 'we are equals and I want to represent that as much as our bond' would argue his point like a law case. #lwj of now has to sit at a table and see someone living his dream and he's too lawful of indiscriminate killing. But he's thinking about it #It's like the relationship between you & your laptop & your cat. lwj is the cat that is *going* to make you pay attention to him. #apologies for soft-skipping an upload yesterday. I had to redo a few comics and it set me back B*(

[kyrilu]

One of Nandor’s 37 wives that he brings back from the dead. He is very fascinated with Guillermo, and insists that he tell him stories about where he comes from and his upbringing. This makes Nandor uncomfortable, so he sends him back to the dead. 

i’m still mourning that there was a scene written in the 4x2 script where one of Nandor’s guywives tries to flirt with Guillermo, and Nandor was weird about it, but it got cut out

#wwdits leaks #wwdits #what we do in the shadows #guillermo de la cruz #nandor the relentless #nandermo #wwdits thoughts #kyrilu: personal #the wife's name is omid & he instead showed up in the aired episode as 'ramy' the guy that nandor showed his coffin too #ok mostly i'm talking about this on tumblr because im begging people to make fanworks of omid/guillermo. #i need the fandom at large to care about this too i'm sorry #please....i can't shut up about this on discord but i need more ppl to know this

[bumblingbabooshka]

What I Say: I'm fine. What I Mean: There was a Star Trek Novel in which Tuvok and Jack Crusher (Beverely's Husband) have to go undercover in a bathhouse that they think is a brothel to get information out of a potential lead and because of a series of hijinks at one point must come to terms with the fact that they're definitely going to have to go into the boss's private room completely naked and might have to go even further than that to get the info they truly need. They were ready to go all in on that "I'm not gay but a mission's a mission" life.

Transcripts under the cut

[Image 1:

“We’re here to meet someone,” he said. “I was told that a Melacron named Pudris Barrh enjoyed visiting this establishment.” The alien smiled. “Oh, I see…you’re one of Barrh’s boys,” she remarked with a knowing lilt. Barrh’s boys? Crusher asked himself. What did she mean by that? He experienced a moment of alarm but kept his composure.

“If you can get past Old Scowly there,” the female continued, “you can join Barrh at his pleasures if you like." She raised a long slender arm and pointed to a gilded door to her right.] [Image 2:

“I don’t know for certain what kind of establishment this is,” said the commander, “but I can make a pretty good guess.”

“Unfortunately,” the Vulcan whispered back with sincere and undisguised revulsion, “so can I.”

"Still, we may have to go along with it.” Crusher regarded Tuvok. “Would that…pose a problem?”  “Naturally,” the Vulcan replied.

The commander grunted. “I was afraid you would say that.”

“And knowing what I do of human marriage customs,” said Tuvok, “I would imagine it would pose a problem for you as well.”

Crusher looked lost “Maybe we could just play along for some of it…for the sake of-”

“My master will see you now,” said Old Scowly. He had reappeared before the Vulcan knew it. “You may enter through the changing room, remove your clothes, and join Pudris Barrh at his pleasures.”] [Image 3:

As it happened, Tuvok wasn’t happy either. If he didn’t know better, he would have said that the uncomfortable sensation in the pit of his stomach was apprehension. Of course, that was impossible. His control over his emotions was impeccable. And yet the sensation remained.

“There must be another way,” said Crusher. “There is no other way,” the Vulcan told him. “This is the situation in which your plan has placed us.” He knew his words sounded biting, but he didn’t wish any of them back.

The human ran his hands through his thick, dark hair. “Damn it,” he said, “If Beverely ever…” “Find out about this?” the ensign suggested.

Frowning, Crusher nodded. “But as you say, there’s no other option open to us. I guess we’ll just deal with whatever comes as best we can.” He grunted. “The things we do for king and country.”] [Image 4:

When the air cleared for a moment - a byproduct of their entrance - the Vulcan was able to get a better look at their host. He was rather corpulent for a Melacron, it seemed, and more pale-looking than most.

As thick, sludgy ripples made their slow way outward from Barrh’s generous torso, he waved to Tuvok and Crusher. “Please, gentlemen, join me. We’ve not met yet, but there are few better places to get to know someone than in The House of Comfort!”

[Crusher] and Tuvok exchanged a quick glance. Taking a deep breath, the human walked up to the carpeted stairs and placed first one foot, then the other, into the hot, liquid muck.

The ensign had little choice but to follow suit. He assured himself, as he sank up to his chest in the thick, surprisingly pleasant-smelling stuff, that there was realy no logical reason T’Pel ever had to become acquainted with this misadventure.

Besides, he reflected, there was quite a good chance that the majority of his and Crusher’s actions would be classified. He had to confess that he found some comfort in the prospect.]

Bonus:

Tuvok and Crusher apparently both go home and tell their wives about this experience. I don't know if we learn of T'Pel's reaction but Beverely apparently thinks its hilarious!

#novel experiences #TUVOK. HEY. #-POINTS- #HE CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS #Tuvok CANNOT keep getting into dubiously moral but incredibly gay scenarios he just can't I'm gonna start howling at the moon #The fact that he has a wife is so funny #GOD there was an old post I LOVED that was like #'I know Tuvok has a wife and kids and I'm so happy for him but he has sex with men.' #<- VERY paraphrased by me #st voyager #tng #Jack Crusher #Tuvok #st voy #star trek #Is he....you know? -gestures- One of Barrh's boys? #Crusher: We might have to suck this guy's dick Tuvok. / Tuvok: Tch. #I love that Tuvok's like 'he knew his words sounded harsh....and he meant it<3 He meant every syllable <3' #him being so devoted to his wife just makes the whole thing more lascivious /positive

[sergle]

screams... tell me why I just spent an hour looking at the Ned Alleged Cheating Scandal tweets

#I'M NOSY OH GOD i really like knowing everything abt this type of thing #I still actually watch the try guys so this is INSANE i'm gonna shit my pants. he was my least favorite anyway #but I am PISSING #sergle.txt #it's alleged so ehhHHHH but. i will say. the My Wife thing does come off as performative to me #and that's gonna be true whether or not this is real. but cmon... don't make your relationship your brand #bc the ebbs and flows in a relationship happen and you still have to My Wife it up for the camera. and it's all fake #if KEITH cheated though I'd kill myself

[radioscribbles]

I love that in the Alastor x reader community so many of us have come to the same conclusion that this man is obviously a wife guy

#alastor x reader #he's so husband coded #never have I seen so many wife!reader fics as I have with this guy #and I fully get it #I'm writing a fic as we speak #hazbin hotel #talking about fanon!Alastor don't come at me

[teaboot]

I finished watching Hell's Paradise S1 and then started the Manga and now I'm on chapter 107 and I can't stop tearing up because life is precious and we are all capable of growth and our history does not define us and this little morally grey 5'4" bastard loves his wife so fucking much

#Please please please please please read the manga it's so good #And the art is amazing #I wasn't gonna watch the anime cause it looked cliche and I was so wrong #It's so unique and dark and hopeful #AND THIS LIL GUY LOVES HIS WIFE SO MUCH #I haven't finished it but if he dies I'm gonna go on a rampage #THEY DRINK RESPECT WOMEN JUICE HERE #Hell' Paradise #Fandom stuff

[fayevalcntine]

Positioning Louis as the "Edwardian wife who becomes trapped by her husband" in a literal sense does no justice to analyzing his actual place and role as a Black man in his society and in his relationship with Lestat. Any interpretation or analysis you do of him when it comes to their relationship cannot be stripped of the racial aspect because it's constantly there. Texts analyzing Edwardian wives (and particularly ones this fandom loves to bring up) typically were white and the dissection of their place in societal rules are always viewed from the aspect of gender that is within these texts only allowed to white women, but never to Black men or even Black women. And gender and race become inseparable when you discuss the latter, no matter how people may view it.

This is why I can't take this approach to analyzing Louis' story seriously because if you don't consider the racial aspect in his relationship even to himself and his sexuality, what's the point? You're still centering the standards that were more placed upon white male/female couples than you're willing to look into the unique structure of Black families, religion, their view of homosexuality and how that sooner heavily influences Louis than the family's "need" for him to be sold off to an Edwardian husband. Even in Louis' own story, him and Claudia being Black is more centered on than any demeaning "housewife" comment he tries to go against from Claudia's perspective. She makes that comment once, whereas we have at least two episodes from Louis' perspective that have very blatant hints and showings of the racism he still suffers from under the Jim Crow era and how it affects his self-worth as well as his relationship with Lestat who doesn't seem to take into consideration how any of the blatant racial aggressions and objections still affect Louis and what he considers to be important to achieve in his own life.

Then there's also the pointed topic of Louis' position as a Black man who is a pimp to the Black women he has as sex workers, as well as how his position as a Black father affects Claudia, another Black girl. If you insist on Louis being centered as this "Edwardian white wife" who is confined by his implicit gender in his marriage, where does that leave Claudia and the blatant misogyny and disrespect she gets from both him and Lestat? Lestat who is her white father abuses her. Positioning Louis within the strict confines of "being her mother" doesn't do her any favors because he didn't hesitate to choke her when he was deeply emotionally distressed, nor does it make him look any better when he's fine with chopping up her diaries and then delivering them on a silver platter so that Daniel, another white man, can read and dissect. Even if he does this under the sole pretense of "doing right by her", how does it in any way help when he also can't face up to his failures towards her?

#interview with the vampire #claudia #louis de pointe du lac #i just feel like all these needless 'Lestat is the patriarchy' discussions; even when done in order to shield Louis #do him and Claudia no favors because y'all keep centering these weird strictly white standards in your interpretations #'Louis is an Edwardian wife' Louis is a Black man who was turned in 1910s Louisiana #the structural confines Edwardian wives were given really aren't the same when you take into consideration the racial segregation #of Louis' time; and I feel like the specific issues that Black men then faced when it came to 'proving' their worth when it comes to gender #are then just sidelined and forgotten as if those aren't the standards Louis grew up with #if you want to discuss Louis' placement in his relationship with Lestat it's kind of really heavy-handed even on the show #that he's a black man and that that heavily affects him foremostly in this relationship #also I'm so confused over this insane idea that Lestat is somehow the patriarchy while Louis is a woman and y'all say this unprompted #without considering how it looks when you call a gay black man a woman and a white bisexual man a guy #i feel like you can evade bad stereotypes of painting black men as overaggressive without veering off into the whole other side #while still sounding vaguely backhanded #and it doesn't make it any less weird when I see other non-black/white fans insist on this interpretation #it just comes off as y'all sooner being able to connect to Louis if you see him in a role typically embodied by white women #than to refer to the actual identity he has as a black gay man

[a-hazbin-reader]

at this point i dont think the reader can even pour herself a cup of water without Alastor aggressively taking the cup and being like “NO DEAR LET M E DO ITT” (its almost 3 am i cant stop laughing at the door jokes)

Me seeing the word "door" in my asks again

#YOU GUYS I AM HAUNTED #BY THAT WORD NOW #just like wife!reader #just HAUNTED #YALL ARE LAUGHING #I'M CRYING #WE ARE NOT THE SAME

[cinnabuncrumbs]

bloke who does fuck all

#dhmis #dont hug me im scared #don't hug me i'm scared #red guy #red guy dhmis #dhmis fanart #clip studio paint #cinna's art #my wife <3

[hecoxthirst]

don't talk to me ever again i am experiencing shrimp emotions rn

sobbing at 10 am this is the first thing i saw this morning

#i'm so happy for them it's unreal #i'm so curious about everything but i don't need to know #just knowing they are happy and in love means everything to me #goddd #this is gonna change everything #shayne about to be such a wife guy just watch #shayne topp #courtney miller #shourtney

[bansheefox]

Clicking any Smosh video nowadays (because of that coloured head freak)

#angela giarratana #smosh #can you guys tell that i'm bored without my wife around #AT LEAST WE GOT ONE AOAOAOA VIDEOS TODAY #MY SAVING GRACE

[cupidgnome]

hello san sequoia!!

#ts4 #ts4 gameplay #ts4 vanilla #oakwood #oakwood1 #new pack new gameplay duh #i'm back dudes #finally made some sims that i kinda love i hope i get attached to them in lesser time than i usually do #the goal here is to have fun with a lot of sims in a big ass house with a lot of family activities #there's 2 elders who are the parents of the guy and there's his soon to be wife too #i plan to have a wedding and explore their skills careers and etc so that i can start having kids #yep thats it i'm gonna show the fam at the end of the week because i'm going on a business trip and i got no time until saturday :/

[ghouljams]

*shakes you* I need to know how Goose’s mother is doing in the later years when Ghost and Goose’s story takes place. I NEED TO KNOW.

Funny story, when I conceptualized this au for fic I didn't want to have an oc standing in as Goose's mom so I marked her as deceased.

However, now that I may potentially be writing more cowboy!Price,  and given that I think Ghost is a big mommas boy, I will say that in Tumblr au Canon she has been away for work. She does doctors without borders/Red cross stuff and was serving her last tour since Price announced his retirement. I actually have a little Goose/Ghost drabble with her coming home, But I’ll post her/Price’s side of it here(smut under the read more because this got a little long):

This has to be your favorite part of your job. Not the saving people, not the changing lives, not even the joy and relief that you bring people. This. Coming home.

No matter how late your flight gets in, Price's always there to pick you up. When you spot him leaning against that beat up farm truck you drop your bags and run. His resulting smile as you jump into his arms is absolutely worth the fact that you’ll have to go back and pick up your luggage. You hold his face between your hands and kiss him like you’ve been wanting to for months, his arms tight around your waist holding you up off the ground as you tip his head back and take your first proper welcome home.

He tastes like smoke and cheap coffee and you melt against him. All the stress of travel falling away as his lips slide against yours. His teeth tug at your lip and you’re dying to get home. You pull back and smile at him.

“Captain.”

“Ma’am,” He smiles back, letting you just…look at him before he sets you down, “Go on, get your crap and let’s go.” You roll your eyes and go to retrieve your bags, earning an affectionate pat on your ass. It’s a long drive home, but it’s worth it for his hand on your thigh the whole way.

“Fuck,” Price swears, you bite into his shoulder harder, nails digging into his back as he inches his cock into you, “know you can take it, come on sweetheart.”

You love this part too, getting stretched by him again. God, there’s nothing like it. You feel like you’ve been on edge for months, your body just waiting to get back to him. And now that it has you feel like you’re on fire for him. Maybe it’s the summer heat. Maybe it’s the way he groans your name in your ear, slick cock filling you fuller with each shallow thrust. Each delicious drag of his girth helps your cunt remember the shape it was made for, makes you whimper at the stretch. His fingers are never enough to prepare you, but you love it. 

He lights up your senses, drawing a shudder from you as he finally thrusts in to the base, the tip of his cock nestled deep against your cervix. He holds there, letting you adjust and kissing your temple. You pull your lips from the bruise you’re making on his shoulder to kiss him properly.

“Missed you,” He murmurs against your lips, letting you slide your tongue against his in a desperate attempt to get him to move. It’s your last sweet moment before he pulls out, the head of his cock holding your desperate clenching cunt open before he slams back into you. 

“Fuck,” You gasp, dropping your head back against the pillow, arching your back into the harsh rhythm Price sets. He bites at your neck, fingers digging into your hips as he pulls you to meet his thrusts. Everything hot and electric as the sound of his cock pounding your wet cunt fills the space between your whines. He’s never more than you can handle, but you think he tries to be. You think he times himself on these first few rounds when you get home. How quickly he can make you cum. 

His calloused fingers move to rub your clit, tight circles in time with his thrusts. You clench and arch and sweat for him, hardly able to catch a breath long enough to beg. He hits that perfect gummy spot deep in your stomach and you fall apart for him, feeling his thrusts deep and slow, easing you through your orgasm.

“That’s it,” Price says low, tongue slick against your thrumming pulse, “let’s see how many more you got for me.”

#Goose's mom will be the local doc once she and Price are able to tear themselves away from catching up #this did feel a bit like writing my parents having sex I been thinking about dad price for too long #Anyway momma is home and she is going to LOVE Ghost #Everyone avoids the farmhouse for a while #Price is a wife guy I cannot be convinced otherwise #we already know he's a girl dad but yeah wife guy too #cowboy!price #john price x reader #john price mw2 #captain john price #captain price #reader x john price #Also I am so sorry I cannot call him John that is my brothers name I'm sure you understand

[kingdomoftyto]

....... WAIT. IS THAT LORD MONOCHROMICORN???

#HOW DID I MISS THIS THE FIRST TIME #ignore me #CONTINUING MY REWATCH OBVIOUSLY lol #also. unrelated to this screencap but. this time through I've been noticing a weird trend of possible hints toward #Finn and Huntress Wizard being.... lowkey together? question mark?? #aside from him mentioning her like five times in ep 2 I can't help but notice that one of Farmworld!Finn's kids has red hair #and Fionnaworld's human!Hunter also had red hair. plus there was that random green shawl Farmworld!Finn took into battle #idk maybe I'm looking too hard into it but still 🤔🤔🤔 #[EDIT: Vampireworld human!Huntress has red hair too! I'm convinced. she's the dead Farmworld wife and they're probably together in Ooo too] #EVEN MORE UNRELATED: just found out that Scarab is voiced by a trans woman! hella!! #Fionna and Cake spoilers #(hgudshfuh feel like I need to tag for spoilers but I'm not trying to clutter up the search with my random crap sorry guys)