#i'm so damn emotional

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Thank you. I'm sorry.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #jin guangyao #lan wangij #jin ling #LWJ shifting into fight mode was so damn cool. He is always ready to start throwing hands. #It's in a way that befits someone with a bit more bloodlust that his calm demeanor lets on - but nearly always in defense of someone. #What a great synergy with his personal philosophies! see that he is a Genuinely Noble Guy time and time again! #Is is also way more hilarious and unhinged than most people give him credit for? Also yes. #Nothing and no one ever said he did not or would not rip off JGY's hat mid-fight. I think LWJ needs to snatch more wigs LITERALLY. #Yes I'm delaying the part where I have to address the emotional turmoil of Jin Ling stabbing wwx. It gutted me terribly. #What is worse that realizing that someone you respected has done horrible things #than discovering someone who did horrible things being a kind and trustworthy person? #What is more horrifying that realizing other people are extremely complex and cannot be categorized into black and white? #When people hurt us or our loved ones we very much want to make them out to be irredeemable monsters. But they are not. #It is not actually such a terrible fate to just be a person. To be forgiven and forgive is possible. To change is possible. #This lesson is hard. It is something you have to actively challenge yourself to do. Black and white is the innate path to go down. #And its *why* I love Jin Ling so much. He is the character who fights the longest and hardest to challenge social and personal beliefs #He gets a pass for stabbing wwx for being so deliciously conflicted and tormented by it. #And with wrists THAT limp I can't imagine the wound was particularly deep

[mikaikaika]

Dude I'm so emotional about Charlie singing a rap lullaby to Sunny. As a person whose favourite egg was Flippa since the start (and still is) - watching Charlie do the same thing he did for her in the initial days means so much to me. There's so many things to be said about how Charlie is a completely different person than he was at the start of this journey. Life, choices, and, circumstances have all let him to a stage where he even if he tries to improve, everyone and everything around him is serving as a reminder of the mistakes he's made. On top of that these reminders are also serving as a knife being twisted in the already rotting away scar of his grief.

And yet, in this scenario now when he is emotionally down and his self esteem has been shot down all the way to hell - he doubts himself and his actions so much regardless of the intentions he carries. Now here comes Sunny like a whiplash - this little bundle of joy whose jumping around and wanting to be with Charlie and it's despite of knowing all the things she has heard multiple different people tell her - she still approaches him with the same love in her heart and the same shine in her eyes as the diamonds she carries.

However, this time instead of falling into his spiral of self-hate and becoming a catalyst to the destiny he fears, this time he tries to try despite his doubts and it's all for this Sunny who looks at him like he's her world and who kills someone just to be with her dad. And oh he sings for her the same way he sang when he originally felt the feeling closest to this. And maybe just maybe her love for him might end up helping him love himself a little bit more.

#Sorey for rant #I'm just so damn emotional over this #Dude #The rap made me cry #He did it for Flippa :( #qsmp #Charlie slimecicle #Sunny #Mika mumbles #Meta

[lookanartdweeb]

You all are cowards "Peach is finally girbossing!" "Peach isn't the damsel!"

Cowards all of you 😔 I was there when it was written

#mario movie #princess peach #also her voice #:/ #tragic #wanna know why cause someone explained it well #THE VOICE ACTORESS IS JUST SPEAKING INTO A MIC #THERE IS NO EMOTION #she and Rat man are the same #i can talk into a mic and get paid #also somehow they made peach the white girl...more white like damn #anyway #luigi and bowser shippers #how are we feeling #cause that was very gay #LMAO #if you take this post seriously #or come at me with some bullshit I will fucking bite your ear off #I'm just speaking into the void #so let me #dweeb talks

[ohbluesky]

HII here’s a lil something for @thominho-week-2023!!! 

- Day 2: Road Trip

- Day 3: “I really thought I lost you”

#The Maze Runner #tmr #thominho #tmr thomas #tmr minho #thominho week 2023 #tmwd2 #tmwd3 #myart #YES i'm so happy that i had time to draw something this year!!! #kinda imagining jorge popping his head outta the window giving a few taps on the car like HEY for the last time BERTHA ISN'T A DATING SPOT #OH i should add Jorge to tags damn #tmr jorge #there #anyway yes those are also #canon compliant #minho deserves to be hugged #i like that he's just like. holding his Emotions in as thomas wakes up from the dead and the hug just. opens the Fucking Dam #if you think i've had enough of angtsy safe haven thominho you are DEAD WRONG and guess what i got MORE coming #(someday) #(eventually)

[wejustvibing]

I don't want to talk about the contractual aspects, which obviously aren't my responsibility - he explained - instead it makes me pleasure to reflect on the character, on his story. Perhaps not everyone knows that Lewis has always been sensitive to the charm of the Cavallino . He is our customer! More than once he visited the factory as a buyer of our cars. He is not just a speed ace. He has a genuine love for supercars. Our cars couldn't be missing from his garage. One in particular."

The model is actually called LaFerrari – he admitted – Hamilton came to Maranello to give the indications relating to the preparation of the machine. It was on that occasion that we said goodbye cordially. And he told me something that struck me. We had Vettel on the team and we were happy with Seb. We had just renewed the contract with the German, which was going well. Lewis made a joke: if you waited twelve months I would come."

A joke that could have been the first sign of an imminent move to Ferrari, long before the one that materializes for 2025, but not according to Ferrari: "I don't think so, he has lived and is still living a fantastic story with Mercedes. But certainly, as I said at the beginning, he was never indifferent to our story. He is also very close to the motoring legend, as a child he had Senna as an idol, in 2013 he took over from Michael Schumacher at Mercedes. Personally I'm very happy, God forbid. A figure like that of Lewis fits perfectly with the Ferrari myth."

Turrini, however, also highlighted a statistic relating to only two drivers who became champions with other teams who were then able to establish themselves also in Ferrari. A team that, after a year of waiting, will see a pair made up of Hamilton and Charles Leclerc: It's true, you are referring to Fangio and Schumacher – he recalled – I consider it an auspicious moment. Charles is the champion of the future, Ferrari believes in him and has shown it, I think. Hamilton is Hamilton. I don't see why they should argue. We are talking about professionals.

- Piero Ferrari

#damn the italians are so serious about my goat what a time to be alive #🥹🥹🥹 #is this a dream #i mean sure could be the fact that bar is in hell but i'm getting emotional over factual statements atp #lewis to ferrari #lewis hamilton #f1 #f1 off season 2023

[simplyavatrice]

#ava silva #warrior nun #warriornunedit #avatrice #avasilvaedit #alba baptista #this is just an appreciation for alba post honestly #like she goes through so many incredible emotions in this moment #and portrays them so perfectly #she's so damn talented #and i love ava so effing much #myedits #so yeah <3 #also can you tell i'm just rewatching and grabbing screencaps along the way?

[allmightyscroll-swag]

Shout-out to @onejellyfishplease for creating a fic that my brain latched onto so violently that I think of it on a weekly basis

Man, i can't imagine having the feeling of something literally buzzing under your skin writhing to be let out let out let out- being comfortable.

Original sketch below cut;

It was way more moody but I was like. no . The boy is overwhelmed the arts gotta be BRIGHT and EYESORE-y

#im not one to make fanart for fics i read #like. at all #i can't remember a time where a fic affected me so hard i drew something for it #but THIS? #THIS FIC? #oufufufh #scratch that actually. #this AUTHOR? #this ARTIST? #god im so emotional over their snapdonnie #LIKE??? WHY MUST YOU DO THAT TO HIM AND HIS FAM P L E A S E IM CRYING #i don't know how to draw body horror and overall gore but DAMN MAYBE THIS IS THE MOMENT I LEARN #just. god. i love all of their Donnie's so much. #all four of them. #id say I'm feral over it but that feels weird #i am in love tho #if you couldn't tell lmao #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #rottmnt donnie #rise donnie #donatello #scrolls art

[nonpracticinghumanbeing]

So Izzy said a thing.

The thing seems to be a part of a redemption arc and makes him sound like a human rather than a monster.

The Canyon went wild with joy and jubilation. The haters are doing everything they can to rationalize the thing in a way that would fit their point of view. One of these things makes me feel like a part of a wonderful, welcoming, and very queer community. The other makes me perplexed, annoyed, and sad at the same time - in a way that feels very personal.

OFMD is an explicitly and unapologetically queer show. And not just that, it shows a variety of non-normative behaviors (Jackie’s polyamory, Geraldo’s humiliation kink, Lucius and Pete’s penchant for “having an audience” to say nothing of Izzy’s masochistic tendencies) in a completely non-judgmental way, making the viewer feel like all ways of performing one’s sexuality are valid.

Izzy wants to be a part of this world. For all his anger and manipulations, and (yes, let’s call him out for the sake of fairness) his abusive behaviors, he desperately wants to be a part of the world where he is free to love who he loves, in whatever way he is capable of doing so. No matter how much the haters don’t want to acknowledge it, this is ultimately a story about love. Both Con and Daddy Jenkins admitted Izzy is in love with Edward and the fact that the antis are willing to contradict not only the actor (who, may I remind you, was instrumental in shaping Izzy’s character) but also the showrunner is very symptomatic of the larger issue of how queer people have been treated in society.

No one in their right mind chose to become a pirate unless they had no other option. Piracy was fraught with constant danger and meant being an outsider everywhere. The only place one could be more or less safe was between people in the same lifestyle. In OFMD that is represented by the Republic of Pirates, where not being a pirate would get one in trouble. Sure, there is some violence but it comes with the territory and - much more importantly - it’s never motivated by someone being a pirate.

Izzy claims to hate the Republic - and for someone as repressed as him it makes sense. There are people being a different kind of a pirate than Izzy would like there - drunk, rowdy, and undisciplined. He clearly takes great pride in his work and has built his whole identity around being Blackbeard’s first mate. Seeing people be pirates while taking their responsibilities lightly doesn’t fit his worldview because he’s been taught that all of his energy should be spent protecting whatever freedom the pirates managed to carve out for themselves.

Someone once wrote that despite what the popular meme says, Izzy isn’t a real pirate dropped into The Muppet Treasure Island, but rather a hard boiled queer-coded character from a 50s noir movie dropped into today’s Pride. He’s had to keep vigilant against any threat for so long he hasn’t noticed that there was a way to be a pirate/queer and still enjoy one’s life. That one can like frilly robes and be a somewhat competent sea captain. That it is possible to pine for one’s boyfriend and keep one’s crew safe. That being soft doesn’t necessarily mean being weak.

He’s willing to do whatever it takes and sacrifice whatever has to be sacrificed (Stede’s life, Edward’s happiness, his own status of the loyal first mate) to keep his little pirate/queer world safe. It’s this conviction that puts him in the way of Ed and Stede’s relationship and makes him an antagonist. But - and it’s something the haters seem to be incapable of grasping - an antagonist doesn’t have to equal a villain.

Why does Izzy react so violently to Stede, exactly? Why is he willing to go against his captain's wishes in challenging Stede to a duel? Why does he sell Stede out, making a deal with the enemy in the process? Because Stede is a stranger infiltrating Izzy’s safe space. The English are a huge threat, sure, but they are easily identifiable from a distance. Stede seems to Izzy to be something far more dangerous - an outsider worming his way into the heart of Izzy’s world, where he can do truly irreparable damage. The English are cops who chase gay boys around the park. Stede has the potential of being an undercover cop sent into a queer bar in the 1930s to get the dirt on the patrons so they can be blackmailed and arrested.

Of course, he may not be that, but it’s a risk Izzy can’t allow himself to take. With his vision of what it means to be a pirate/queer he's sure he sees through Stede’s ruse. Now, I’m not trying to excuse abusive behavior, as some of Izzy’s choices were hurtful to everyone around him. But as a queer person I do have sympathy for someone (grossly) overreacting in defense of their safe space. Constant vigilance is an inherent part of the queer experience, especially for those living in conservative countries or remembering the times before the Pride.

Like, for example, Con does. Con, who - yes, I will repeat this because it’s super important here - played a huge part in shaping Izzy’s character. Con, who despite having a decades-long career where he often clearly gravitated towards queer characters, only got comfortable enough THIS YEAR (and thanks to this show and this fandom) to publicly come out. Con, who - as a friend wonderfully phrased it - is queer as in start a riot, not as in love wins.

And Izzy is the same. He is a start a riot pirate/queer in a show full of love wins pirates/queers. His way of being what he is is so totally different from everyone around him that it makes him an antagonist. (Sure, there are other start a riot queers in the show - Jim literally kills a man who wronged them and Lucius is very outspoken about his opinions in a way that makes him somewhat radical, but neither of them is as extreme in their ways as Izzy is and neither goes against the main characters’ romance thus becoming an antagonist.) But. The thing is, when you are a part of a minority, when you are being prosecuted and targeted for who you are, you need safe spaces. And those safe spaces need protection, because every freedom can be taken away if wrong people come to power. No doubt the queer movement would look much more tame and palatable to the bigots if we were all the love wins queers. But we desperately need the start a riot queers if we are to survive.

So yeah, you can say Izzy said what he said because he needs a structure and clear hierarchy in his life. He absolutely does. Some of it comes from his submissive and masochistic tendencies, sure (I wrote a lot about that, including a piece for the Above All Else zine). Some of it may come from neurodivergence (some people read Izzy as autistic, I’m not going to discuss this because as a neurotypical person I have nothing of value to say about it). But it also ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY comes from the desperate need to protect his safe space from outsiders.

And there is one more thing the haters conveniently forget about: OFMD is also a show about growth. It’s about Stede turning from a wooden puppet into a real boy and then into a man. It’s about Edward learning there is a life beyond the legend of Blackbeard and peeling off at least some of the leather. And judging from the trailer, it’s about Izzy learning you can be a start a riot pirate while being accepting of the love wins pirates in your life. 

The more I think about it, the more likely I find it that Stede’s “I don’t care what anybody says, he’s actually a good guy” line from the teaser refers to Izzy. But even if it doesn’t, I am 100% sure the haters will be proven wrong. This show never relied on stereotypes and cliches. In fact, it actively does everything to break them (from Jim’s sacred quest for revenge ending up with them befriending Jackie to the only names that get mispronounced being those of white characters) while killing off the real enemies of the pirate/queer crew (Badmintons, Jack, Geraldo) and giving all its characters place to grow.

So, maybe one day we will all learn to love Izzy? 

#ofmd #our flag means death #our flag means gay #izzy hands #ofmd meta #lol i got so pissed off at a really bad take on the line that i'm back to writing meta #thanks to remy for the start a riot / love wins thing! #i'm getting emotional again damn this show #queer representation

[starsssena]

goodbye hug. . .

Translation:

- q!pac: I think it's better to go and rest for now...

-q!cellbit: Me too, I think it's better for now. Today was crazy enough...

-q!pac: I hope tomorrow is a better day than today.

-q!cellbit: yeah, I hope so. We can't lose one more of us... we only have each other now. But we will make it!!

-q!pac: everything will be fine!

-q!cellbit: take care yourself, moço.

-q!pac: you too!

#THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A GOOD NIGHT HUG #NOT A GOODBYE HUG QSMP #THIS ARC IS INSANE AND I'M NOT PREPARED FOR WEDNESDAY #and damn how can a small scene have so much emotional charge #qsmp #qsmp fanart #qsmp cellbit #for the love of god let this man have a break PLS #qsmp pac #AND LET HIM HAVE HIS FAMILY BACK 😭 #starssart

[lost-tardis-room]

ok so death and the queen in Really Really good and you should all listen to it ( here it is!!) but there another one of those bits where donna gone off to do something and ten thinks shes leaving Forever but THIS. THIS. LITERALLY HE JUST SAYS THAT?

(sorry for the bad audio quality i was recording it off my computer speakers into garageband lol its wayyy better than that in the actual thing)

Transcript

[end of doctor who theme]

Ten : I'm sorry, because, I lied to you.

Donna : Oh? About What?

Ten : I said... I was fine. Fine about you leaving, and, I'm not. So many of you have come and gone, I never get used to it, you'd think I would've done by now, but, but, but, no... just when I think it's all going well, and we'll be... together forever, you're wandering off to go and save another universe, or, get married - How do you lot fall in love so quickly?

Donna : Well,

Ten, interrupting : I just don't get it!

Donna : Funny you should say that,

Ten : It's- ehhhh short lives I suppose - still! So long as you're happy, and, you're with the right man, and, and, he is the right man,

Donna - *starts to speak, gets cut off*

Ten : Yeahhs yes of course he is-

Donna : mhm-

Ten : -course he is I mean - I mean, well, no man ever gonna be good enough for my Donna, but yes, yes! Off you go, every time, one of you leaves, I'm not ready, I never am. You lot. Euurgh. *sharp inhale* Every one of you a heartbreaker.

Donna, indignantly : That's why you've got two of them, stupid, listen, I'm -

Ten : I mean yeah, I s'pose, but it doesn't make it -

Donna : mHMHMmm

Ten : - make it any easier, you all leave... even the robot dog left me. Twice.

Donna : Alright, Doctor, I'm trying to tell you-

Ten : And another thing - the universe never gives me a break!

End Transcript

#HE'S JUST SOOOOOOOOOO #i had to actually and take a moment like. damn #and ofc its funny how if he listened for half a second Donna would tell him she;s not leaving and he'd be embarrassed but like. wow. #he really just says that to her #nghhhhgnhgnhnhgnhnghnhn i'm so normal about them. btw #like the level of actual emotional awareness and vulnerability for him to admit that the inevitable Leaving Of Companions does actually hur #they would usually rather throw themselves into a near death scenario than admit than and they sometimes literally do #rahhhhhhhhh #big finish #tenth doctor #donna noble #david tennant #catherine tate #doctor who #also damnnnnnn i gotta listen to more of these

[kurokoros]

actually really messed up over the way that Steve Harrington is a character that's desperate to be wanted by someone and the narrative repeatedly punishes him for it. he's a very metaphorical and literal punching bag each season, but it's Steve so it's always a haha funny in hindsight moment or whatever trauma he goes through simply isn’t addressed afterwards.

like, it's implied that his parents aren't around much and/or they have an unhappy and unhealthy marriage (his mom has to follow his dad on business trips to make sure he isn't cheating, which happens often enough that his friends can joke about it). his friends sucked and he obviously didn't agree with or like some of the things they did, but at least they paid attention to him so it was something. he has a reputation for serial dating (or at the very least sleeping around) by the beginning of his junior year in high school. S1 has Nancy blow him off, lie to him, and then spend the night with Jonathan Byers in her bedroom, leading him to believe she’s cheating on him (and despite the audience knowing that’s not technically the case, there’s no denying that the scenes between Nancy and Jonathan were meant to imply romantic chemistry between them). in S2, drunk or not, Nancy is extremely cruel in the way she blames him in part for the death of her friend and calls their entire roughly year long relationship bullshit (which she never really apologizes for), after which she disappears for several days, leaving their relationship ambiguously over, only to show up again a few days later with the new boyfriend she spent over a year pining for. S3 he pours his heart out to Robin just to be rejected when there were totally different ways to work her coming out scene into the plot that didn’t involve spending x number of episodes hinting towards them as a couple just to pull a bait and switch for the audience. and then in S4 Steve is both insecure about his friendship with Dustin, who has more in common with Eddie than he does with Steve, and he has several different people telling him that he's still interested in Nancy and that she's also interested in him (Dustin, Robin, Eddie), only to have his heart kind of broken all over again when she goes right back to Jonathan. 

and that's emotional pain on top of getting beaten or otherwise attacked every season. though arguably justified, in S1 Steve is slapped, punched, and shoved around. during his fight with Billy in S2, Steve is beaten to the point of being knocked out cold for an undetermined amount of time between roughly 10-30 minutes. this is treated like a joke in S3, but considering the number of blows he took to the head there should have been a very serious concern over him having a concussion at best and trauma to the brain at worst. S3 is the same, but the focus on him feeling “like [his] eye is about to pop out” implies ocular trauma. he’s then drugged and nearly has his fingernails ripped off as a form of torture. finally in S4 his bare back is dragged across the ground, he’s strangled, and he has chunks of flesh ripped out of his sides, which I can’t remember being addressed at all after the group returns from the upside down. 

that’s a lot to go through in the ~2.5 years that Stranger things covers. and what’s worse is that I can’t remember a single time where a character asks if he’s okay

#the way the fight with billy in particular is turned into a joke is just... really upsetting to me #steve tried so damn hard to protect the kids #and afterwards he's treated like an inconvenience for them to deal with. or him being beaten is made into a joke #steve harrington #stranger things #it's 4:30am as I'm posting this and I'm just EMOTIONAL

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I'm sorry I let down my guard.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #xue yang #xiao xingchen #God DAMN this scene was brutal. Season 2 episode 2 is almost nothing but misery and anguish #Helena by Nickle Creek does not quite fit the comic's vibe but it is absolutely a Xue Yang song so I linked it. #The change from “Helena don't walk away...(gentle)” to “HELENA. DON'T WALK AWAY (threat)” is fantastic. #And “Don't waste your pretty sympathy - I'll always be just fine”. Xue Yang core. #Okay now for the real meat. Disclaimer first: *I really like XY.* I think he's a great character. I think his actions consistently- #come from a place of deep trauma. While his reactions and actions put him in a villainous role he is still human about his hurt #and what I'm about to say is NOT intended to be a statement of causality or villianize a group of misunderstood people. #So with that said...Man oh man does Xue Yang have a lot of BPD traits. More that just 'character who is chronically manipulative'. #The impulsivity and emotional reactions and seeking stability makes him feel like he needs that control. What other choice is there? #The part that really gets me is how he *wants* to be safe and happy. But his past experiences tell him how thats impossible #He's the kind of person who goes 'if you don't like me then you better hate me for something substantial". All (pos) or All (neg) #''Love me entirely or Hate me. But don't you dare leave me or forget about me.'' #Not at all comfortable saying 'BPD coded'. Im not a psychiatrist. Just that he has TRAITS. Feel free to disagree or add your thoughts. #ppl with bpd also are not a monolith and everyone has very different experiences. Xue yang is very complex. People more so.

[seyaryminamoto]

Fic-to-Art #39: Gladiator's ELEVENTH Anniversary! (+ BONUS: Fic-to-Art #36...)

And here we are! March 26th arrived and I did not forget about it, but I paid for my ambitious madness with my wrist and forearm. Somehow, I finished my intended pieces on time, but I do not advise that you ever try to make 9 artworks in 3 days. No, sir. Bad life decisions, that's what that was... but this fic, as anyone knows, moves me to do things I never thought possible, starting with writing the fic itself!

It's really crazy every time it hits me that I've been doing this for as long as I have. It's been a complicated, chaotic journey, with its many ups and downs, but ultimately, it has been our journey. For some people, this is just one more fic in the pile: for me, it's been the best adventure of my life so far. Everyone who has ever been touched by Gladiator, who has ever cherished this story, who's looking forward to the big conclusion, who wants to see how the chaotic war is going to end... you're all part of this crazy adventure along with me, and I can only thank you for joining me.

This year, I had no time to make as big a project as I usually go for. Thus, I did a sort of free-for-all edition of Fic-to-Art over at Patreon and challenged myself to draw as many scenes as I could, out of their suggestions. I even sprinkled in a few scenes I impulsively wanted to draw because I loved writing them or because I look forward to writing them... and this is the result!

In order, the scenes are as follow:

Sokka combing Azula's hair, a common occurrence throughout the story.

Azula watching over a convalescing Sokka in the Chase of Jeong Jeong arc.

The outcome of Sokka's final battle in the Superior Gladiator League, namely a moment where Sokka and Azula more or less gave away their relationship's true nature to the public by raising their hands towards each other...

And now, spoiler territory! Some were by my choice, some by Patreon requests:

An important moment shortly after Sokka and Azula reunite.

Azula confronting her father, with a LOT of backup.

Xin Long's long-awaited freedom.

The aftermath of the final battle.

The full-blown confirmation of their relationship to the general Fire Nation populace.

Sokka, Azula and Hotaru's first night together

And the big final one is ACTUALLY Fic-to-Art #36 but hahaha woops I didn't post it here on time because it was super hard to finish since I had a LOT of things going on... but here it is now! :'D it's a glimpse VERY far into the future of this fic's timeline!

Alright, that should be enough talking and explaining. Some things are vague, some things aren't, but ultimately I really hope you guys will be looking forward to the scenes you haven't seen yet, and to Gladiator's eventual outcome.

So now... with all this being said and done, I'm gonna go take a trip down memory lane and watch my Tenth Anniversary video once more! Feel free to do the same thing if you'd like to commemorate the fic, I think it's a good way to experience Gladiator all over again, hahaha.

Thank you if you read all this, and if you read all THAT: 5 million word landmark, here we come! Thanks for hanging out with me across ELEVEN years of Gladiator!

#sokkla #sokka #azula #gladiator #fic-to-art project #zuko #aang #katara #rui shi #fei li #tai wei #and a rando #yes that guy is a rando he's there to symbolize all the randos in that scene #do not look too deep into it it isn't deep at all hahahahahaha #Xin Long continues to be the bane of my existence I love him I hate drawing him #I don't know if he's good enough but I hope the emotional punch of THAT MOMENT #is enough to make up for any flaws ahahahaha welp #... also yes I'm not even sorry this was my excuse to go wild drawing as much Sokkla as I could #and my patrons were so damn nice to give me so many excuses to do just that! #how could I refuse? :'D #anyway I really hope you guys enjoy #the new pieces are glazed #nightshade killed itself when I asked it to work with them #I got annoyed and left it as it was #the last one did get both things #OKAY! DONE! #I HAVE AN HOUR AND A HALF LEFT OF ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION IN THIS TIMEZONE #Seyary out (?)

[transmechanicus]

Really fucked up that two ppl can care about each other and make their best efforts to communicate and still end up hurting each other so badly they cannot stand to be in the same room.

#my stuff #i feel soooo bad talking to my therapist about the same topics over multiple weeks #like i feel like they're sooo sick of it like damn can this bitch get Over It alreadyyyy #hi yes actually can we talk about the near catastrophic sense of betrayal and loss that has haunted my soul for over a month? #can we talk about how I overcompensate for other's possible feelings and emotions to desperately mask my terror at feeling out of control #can we talk about how even when I know ppl acted with logical reasons necessary for their situation it still hurt me? #and that this pain fills me up with so much anger and frustration that I'm powerless to put anywhere that won't hurt someone #so it just cooks me inside and makes me grind my teeth constantly for weeks #im so angry i did not deserve to be treated like this it's not fair and I have no capacity to fix it or control when it feels better #i just have to survive and wait until i forget about it and hope they don't decide to reach out and fuck it all up #cause i can see that happening #i'll finally be free of thinking about them and generally going about my day unbothered and they'll ask to get coffee or something #and I have no idea what I should do in that scenario. because I don't think we can be friends. #and you have not treated me with the compassion and warmth I treated you #i would want to say mean things. hurtful things. I would want to bite back for once. #and that's not me. that's not who I want to be. #i don't wanna see you. go away. don't talk to me if you're not going to make the pain go away.

[toothpastemaker]

big man cries about the weight of responsibility at the end of the world so you’ve gotta gather all the homies to comfort him

#raph tmnt #donnie tmnt #leo tmnt #mikey tmnt #rise of tmnt #rise tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #Raphs emotional state in the season finale has left me a shell of my former self #ba dum tch #hey Storm if you see this please pretend that you've never heard me say that joke before #no but I'm having such a blast with this series #I'm super excited I've finally found another interest #it's been so god damned long since I've been genuinely invested in something #i love these turtles

[wingsofhcpe]

thinking about the garrison getting the news of the Savoy massacre.

thinking about Treville reading the missive and feeling the earth dissolve into air under his feet, realising that by giving away the location he doomed his men to the slaughter.

thinking about him having to tell Athos and Porthos.

thinking about Athos going into shock because God, no, not again, he can't have lost his little brother again like he lost Thomas.

thinking about Porthos going into absolute rage- and grief-filled denial and insisting that they leave right now because Aramis is okay, he has to be, he can't have abandoned them, he can't have left them not like Porthos' mother did.

thinking about Athos trying to cope by slipping into professional soldier mode, detached, emotionless and trying to prepare Porthos for what they'll find.

thinking about them seeing the bodies and knowing their brother, their Aramis, is lying dead among the other corpses. And then they find him, and Porthos yells that he's alive and suddenly Athos is crumpling because Aramis is safe he's safe he didn't lose another brother. Treville scoops up Aramis in his arms and holds him tight for a moment, just one, because Aramis is his salvation too, his survivor, the only of his men who came back alive and thus not all is lost, and Treville vows never to let Aramis suffer again as he did that day.

thinking about Athos and Porthos holding Aramis between them, wrapping him and themselves in blankets to share their body heat and warm him. Aramis waking up and asking for Marsac but then realising Athos and Porthos are here and he breaks, crying and sobbing and begging them not to leave him in the cold all alone with the dead, too. And that is when the three of them vow, All for one and one for all, that it's either all three of them together or not at all. Nobody gets left behind.

thinking about Savoy and brotherhood and the boys just clinging to each other no matter what, because even when all seems lost, they're still the Inseparables, and that will always mean something.

#bbc musketeers #the musketeers #athos #porthos #aramis #captain treville #i want to write the damn fic but im exhausted and i have to wake up super early tomorrow so um here goes i guess #you can measure how much my mental health is deteriorating by how much my hyperfixation intensifies and um. yeah #(we're a week and a half into the semester and I'm already This close to snapping this cant be good) #(but at least i have those three idiots for emotional comfort during strife!!!) #(if aramis can go through savoy and come out smiling i can go through my uni classes. and he'd be proud of me for it.)