#i'm mostly just airing out my thoughts but if any of you have any opinions feel free to share them

[madeinparadis]

LONG ENOUGH | DAVIN MCDERBY

pairing: davin mcderby × reader

cw: friends to lovers, smut, brief pining & fear of rejection if you squint. MDNI

word count: 2.8k

masterlist: all characters

a/n: this is an improved version of the fic i posted on ao3, so it's a bit longer than the og, but in both i disregarded the whole deadbeat dad situation davin had going on in the movie (whoops). still, this is definitely lighter and easier going than my previous works, even if it's not my favourite so far.

Davin had already grown used to people– mostly bitter old ones– telling him what he did or didn't feel, how he should or shouldn't act, and so on. He was used to it. So why did it aggravate him so much to hear his roommate force his own, very biased and sour, opinion down his throat?

"I'm telling you, lad, all chicks are the same," his roommate, Pat, for whom he had been gradually growing a silent dislike, interrupted him again. "you'll get over her by the time summer's done! Stop being so sappy!"

Oh, that was it. He was done for.

"How about you shut up, eh? You don't even know her!" the volume of Davin's voice rose unconsciously. "All you do is sit there and complain about your failed attempts at shagging girls you meet at house parties! Have you ever thought, for a second, that maybe I actually have a life?" he completed, feeling the blood rise to his cheeks as the anger made the blood in his face pulse with might.

Pat was left speechless for a good minute. He looked flabbergasted, clearly not having expected such a reaction from the ever-so-nonchalant Davin he always joked around with. A wave of embarrassment quickly hit him at the realisation that he had crossed a big line, but pride was even quicker to take over.

"If I'm such a pitiful bastard, why don't you do us a favour and leave then!" Pat bit back, his tone loaded with the grudge he was holding against his roommate, and it made Davin just as impulsive with his reply.

"I just might, you asshole!" he yelled, quickly slamming the door before storming out of the apartment complex perplexed. Did he go that far for a girl? For you, that is?

He had to see you now. Realisation hit him like a truck. He liked you, but not just like any other– he was falling for you, hard enough to the point where no one could tell him otherwise– because he knew you were worth the hassle, and anyone who had the fortune of seeing you should feel the same as well. Besides, he needed a place to crash now.

You woke up from your accidental nap, suddenly hearing a sound coming from your window, scared that someone might be trying to break into the seemingly empty house. You quickly got up from your desk, your temple slightly red from where your head rested against the wood, only to be met with a very familiar face.

"Davin? What the fuck are you doing here?" you whispered loudly, your brows furrowed in confusion as you opened the window for him to come into the room.

"Sorry, sorry, I know it's late..." he began explaining, holding his hands up in the air. "But I'm kinda homeless right now–" he continued, before being interrupted abruptly by an even more shocked you.

"What do you mean you're homeless, Davin?! What'd you do this time?"

Unbelievable, you thought. Homeless? You knew that Davin had a rather troublesome habit of getting up to no good, but him becoming homeless in the middle of the summer was not a possibility you had fathomed.

Davin sat on the bed, following after you. "I fought with my roommate, Pat. He told me to leave, so I did."

Your expression softened as you listened to his explanation. "What did you guys fight over, anyway?" you questioned him, but his reply was rather dull.

"Oh, just normal stuff, you know..."

You were left puzzled, but decided to let him be. "Alright, I won't pry. Let me get you a towel for you to take a shower– you are not sleeping in my room all sweaty."

The walk downstairs was rather quiet. You went to the laundry room by yourself, hoping to find one of your housemates to check if you could, in fact, let Davin crash. You knew the room was yours, but you still wanted to be sure. Luckily, on your way back upstairs, you bumped into your housemate Linda, who reassured you and told you it was completely fine to let your 'friend' stay over, especially since the other two girls were going to be out and about until tomorrow morning.

You hesitated before opening the door, thinking about your conversation with Davin. You said you wouldn't pry, but shouldn't you? He acted as if he were fine, but you could tell there was a hidden distress in his tone. Nonetheless, it was getting late, and he needed to shower before going to bed; how you two would manage your sleeping area was a problem for later. You turned the doorknob gently, letting yourself in again, and... shit.

Davin had fallen asleep already. Oh well, you'd just change the sheets tomorrow; the true issue was the fact that he slept like a rock, so your space would be... limited, to say the least.

You got into bed yourself, careful not to wake him up, and you noticed something– the cool facade that was once held in his face melted sometime during his sleep, being replaced now by a slightly mellow yet calm expression.

Cute, you thought, letting your eyes fall shut and feeling a dreamless slumber wash over you.

The clock read 4:52 the moment you woke up. Your... bedmate, however, was still fast asleep, his right arm resting on your torso comfortably as he slept peacefully, quiet snores leaving his soft pink lips every once in a while. Who were you to push him away? It's not like you wanted to in the first place.

You couldn't help but admire the scene in front of you. Saying Davin was handsome, in your case, would be an understatement– you were completely smitten with the reckless young man, even though you'd take that statement with you to the grave. Looking won't hurt, though, you thought to yourself. And, oh boy, did you look.

His hair was slightly ruffled from sleep, the moonlight illuminating the orange strands that tickled your neck whenever your chest rose up full of oxygen. His face was relaxed and half illuminated by the twilight, his mouth slightly agape while he breathed in and out, soft snores reverberating in the room.

Your fingers were lightly caressing his hair, and his body rested on yours– everything about this moment was so serene that you wish you could stretch it out for as long as possible. Perhaps in your dreams you would have. Sleep was coming to you again, whisking you away from this sweet moment- you could almost taste the metaphorical honey on your tongue as you drifted off for the second time, just before sunrise.

The morning went by, and the afternoon was nearing. Davin finally arose from his deep slumber and quickly took notice of the predicament you were both in– limbs completely tangled, his face lodged in the crook of your neck, and his right arm draped over your waist protectively. This would be lovely if it weren't one thing... You two were not together, and he was pretty positive that you did not want to change that situation.

As if this kettle of fish couldn't get any worse for him, you started to slowly open your eyes and shift around, tangling your legs even further. "Hey, so could you, y'know..." he muttered, visibly uncomfortable now, not knowing what to do.

"What..?" you were still sleepy, confused at what he was hinting at, until you felt his body on yours. "Oh, shit!" your cheeks turned bright red, and you untangled your legs from Davin's in record time, even though you weren't really bothered by it to begin with. The two of you were both lying on your backs now, the ceiling fan suddenly becoming incredibly interesting.

As awkward as it was, this moment forced a minute of reflection for you both.

During the past few weeks you had spent with your friends here in Montauk, there hasn't been a day where Davin hasn't crossed your mind at least once since you met him in the beginning of your stay. He was unbelievably handsome in your eyes, and you had caught yourself getting lost in his eyes more often than you'd like to admit.

But he was also trouble. It was clear to you after just a few minutes of chatting with him at the bar– that boy was here to live almost everyday like it was the last, and you couldn't keep up with that, no way. Yet you couldn't stay away, and he knew it as much as you. You always ended up finding each other unintentionally, and would then spend the rest of the day or night together. You went around sharing drinks at the bar, walking side by side on the beach, cracking jokes and having long talks in his car as he gave you a ride back home, sometimes sharing a kiss here and there after having a bit too much alcohol. However, you never went below the tip of the iceberg, that was the unspoken rule– keep it at surface level, never deeper than that.

You stopped your racing thoughts, reaching a conclusion– this, whatever it was, was unbearable. Fuck the unspoken agreements and tensions, you had to say something or you'd go mental.

"Do you like me, Davin?" you finally broke the silence with your question.

"What?" he looked at you confused.

"Do you like me?"

Davin froze completely. For someone who quite literally went homeless for a whole night defending his feelings for you, he sure as hell couldn't talk above them like that was the case, cowardice taking over his senses. But no, he couldn't chicken out– not now. He came to your place last night to tell you that he couldn't keep this game of rat and mouse anymore; he had to do something.

So his solution was to roll on top of you and slam his lips on yours impulsively, hoping that the passion in his actions would convey the answer to your question. You gasped before kissing him back, surprised that you make Davin go away with your inquiring. So much for keeping things at surface level.

The hands that were once resting near your head were now wandering lower and lower, getting closer to your hips and upper thighs. Before they went any further, you guided Davin's face gently with your hands, making his eyes meet yours.

"What are we?" It was always you and your questions.

"I dunno, what do you want us to be?"

Smartass, you thought.

"Don't dodge the question," you retorted.

"Well, do you want us to be together? Y'know, dating and all," he looked serious for once, which surprised you for a moment.

"I do," you smiled at him, bringing his face close and kissing him feverishly, allowing him to get back to his ministrations.

Davin's hands roamed around your body as he explored you, quickly discarding your top, something he thought about doing rather often. You laughed a little as he ghosted over your ribs, touching your ticklish spot before you intervened.

"I think you have way too many clothes on, don't you?" you said playfully, which earned a playful laugh from him– it was true, so he let you drag his white t-shirt off his torso and undo his belt for him. Davin took a moment to admire your focus, and the smile you gave him once you were done– a tender nature for the carnal act you two were about to get into.

His touch made you feel feverish, lust taking over your brain and dictating your words and movements. Your hips buckled against his thigh as you chased some form of friction, low whines coming out of your mouth like a plea for action– one which Davin did not ignore, smirking at your antics before sliding your bottoms off in a swift motion, revealing your bare cunt for him to observe. He took a moment to drink in the sight before his eyes until he couldn't suppress his urges any longer.

He lapped at your folds hungrily, savouring your arousal as he felt the tension in his own trousers increase, low moans escaping his throat and vibrating on your sensitive skin. You felt him drink you up like a starving man as he sloppily worked up your most sensitive spots, eliciting whines and pleas from you for more and more of what he was giving you.

With the eager efforts you received, it wasn't hard for you to feel as if you were drowning in pleasure, your high coming closer and closer. Even in a not very logical state, you were aware of your partner's own neediness, grinding his hips into the bed almost unconsciously, seeking someone form of release for his own aching, his subtle moans delivering vibrations to your clit every now and then. Observing his behaviour, you tugged at his hair, making him look at you just like you did earlier– that could easily become a habit for you.

"You can take your time later– just fuck me right now, please." you pleaded, feeling your own longing to be filled by him. The nod you received indicated that you were understood.

Davin was quick to get himself out of his trousers, throwing them somewhere on the floor, his boxers following soon after. His cock was finally out in display for you to see– girthy, flushed and leaking precum already. Noticing your fixed gaze, he looked up at you.

"Like what you see?" He asked, laughing as a way pretend that your admiration wasn't inflating his ego bit by bit.

"Yes." You confessed, no shame in your admission. After all, what was the sense in having shame at this point?

Smoothly, Davin dragged his cock against your folds, gathering up your slick before going inside you. The initial stretch you felt was pure bliss, ecstasy running through your veins with each inch that went deeper in your velvety walls. Your nails maimed his back, drawing crescent shapes on his shoulder blades while your whines and moans hit the bedroom walls and his ears.

"Fuck, you're tight," Davin couldn't help but groan in your ear. His thrusts were fast, aiming at the sensitive spot in your walls, riling you up as he chased his own pleasure.

"I'm so close– baby, please..." you whined incessantly, desperate for your release to come. You heard Davin say something along the lines of 'just a little more', which you barely registered, your mind foggy with pleasure.

You could feel his touches all over your body– his hands slithered along your hips, your waist, and stopped at the swell of your breasts while his lips kissed and suckled on the curve of your neck. You felt the assaults to your core getting sloppier, signaling that Davin was close. But before even saying a word, his hands moved over your breasts, one playing with your right nipple while the other lazily massaged your left boob. His thought-out actions caused whines to fall from your lips, your cunt clenching and dripping as you felt your climax right around the corner.

Suddenly, you felt the hand that was playing with your nipple travel down to your clit. He started drawing circles with his thumb on the bundle of nerves, and that was it for you– your orgasm washed over you like the strongest of waves, rocking you out of your senses, clouding your vision and tensioning all your muscles before relaxing you profoundly. You took a minute to come back to reality, whimpering as you felt Davin continue to thrust into your pussy with desperation, seeking his own orgasm.

It didn't feel like a long time before you heard a grunt coming from him, and he pulled out of you, painting your bare stomach and tits with his cum. He collapsed next to you, remaining silent as he watched you collect his release with your fingers before sucking on them, letting out an audible pop sound when you were done.

"You're amazing..." he muttered, in awe of the little show you had just put on for him.

"Only a little," you giggled, shifting yourself to hug his torso as you decompressed after the events of this morning. You pulled the bedsheets back over your bodies, ceasing the goosebumps that tickled your skin. Davin's heavy breaths were the only noise filling the room– there was a comfortable silence established, only to be broken by him;

"Took us long enough, eh?"

You both giggled at the honesty in his statement. It truly was a long wait, but definitely a worthy one.

#madeinlisbon #cillian murphy #cillian x reader #davin mcderby #davin mcderby x reader #sunburn #sunburn 1999 #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy fic #cillian murphy fanfiction #cillian murphy imagine #cillian murphy smut #cillian murphy one shot #sunburn movie #i love cillian murphy #cillian x fem!reader #cillian murphy movies

[bigmilkagenda]

Of the many, many plates of pancakes* that were offered to the listener in magp 1-07, this one may be my favourite

[ID: A screenshot of an unofficial transcript to The Magnus Protocol. CELIA is saying "Yeah. I mean, it's an old system, but it could have been worse. It's not like we're wrestling with tape recorders and manila folders." /end ID]

When we meet TMA-Celia for the second time, she's lost her name. She was Lynne Hammond, and now she's not. She doesn't seem to remember Martin, either, but it's not clear how much of herself and her life from before the change she does remember. She's freaked out by the tape recorders that start showing up, and there's no indication that she associates them with the Institute specifically.

If Celia Ripley is, as we are clearly intended to believe or consider, the same Celia as in TMA, why is she making knowing comments about manila folders and tape recorders? Tape recorders in particular are hardly standard equipment at what seems to be mostly a text data-entry and cataloguing job. She could have said typewriters, or carbon paper. Fax machines, if we're dunking on Freddy specifically.

She says "tape recorders and manila folders." Celia Ripley is referencing The Magnus Institute, particularly the outdated technologies in use in the Archives.

Maybe she learned more from Melanie about what the recorders were and did at the Institute, sometime after MAG 190. Maybe she has those specific memories of giving her statement in MAG 100, and little else. Maybe Martin grew an apocalypse beard and she remembers everything, but just didn't recognise him out of context and in a tunnel and during A Pretty Weird Time Overall.

Maybe she stuck around with Melanie-Georgie-Basira for a while after things returned, and that's how she learned about the particular significance of tape recorders.

Maybe she found some tapes and listened to a couple hundred of them.

Or maybe she's simply an AU Celia, with a knack for oddly specific and kind of clunky comparisons, drawn into this through the powers of metafiction and string theory.

Or maybe someone filled her with spiders and sent her to finish the job of spreading Fear to this particular world.

And the reason this particular plate of textual pancakes** (short stack, butter and nightmare syrup) is one of my favourites from "Give and Take" is because I genuinely have no idea! None of these are theories because there isn't enough evidence to point me in any particular direction. It's a mystery!, Jon voice, etcetera.

If you cornered me and paid me to have an opinion about it I could say which options I thought were more likely, I guess. But the odds are high that I'd be wrong, and I think the boat for me getting paid to interpret texts probably sailed fifteen years ago, besides. I'm in this for the love of the game.***

November is the true spooky season in the northern hemisphere.**** Yeah, October ends with Halloween, but you know what month starts with Halloween? Mmhmm. By November of 2019 TMA had been on my list for a few years, and someone I was getting to know and really liked recommended it to me specifically in the days after 159 aired. The conditions were correct for me to get into something new, is what I'm saying. I still remember listening to "Anglerfish" for the first time, walking home from my office job in the blustery November dark. I got home starry-eyed and red-cheeked and thrilled by the story I'd just heard.

It took a couple of months for me to catch up, and though I loved having so much to listen to there were times when I wished I'd started earlier, to have the experience of seeing things unfold.

And now we're back at a beginning, and get to experience the horrible joys of finding out.

[ID: A screenshot of an unofficial transcript to The Magnus Protocol. LENA is saying "Of a sort. I hope you're as ready for it as you think you are. Consider yourself "in." /end ID]

*Sabrina pancake meme

** the best kind, especially if it's a contest between textual and fluffy pancakes. Keep those spongy bastards away from me, I'll take the kind with a typeface instead

***Being a huge nerd

**** For more of my opinions on November, see https://www.tumblr.com/almostmolly/188799234276

#tmagp #tma #the magnus protocol #celia ripley #celia tmagp #lynne hammond #tmagp meta #loosely. this is neither litcrit not analysis nor speculation in the sense that i don't subscribe to any of the possible paths as true #and also realise there could be a dozen other things i haven't talked about here #i know I've said spiders celia twice but I'm kind of like a person who makes red string boards for the aesthetics #it's part of the decor y'know? #sorry for the link to my tumblr poetry blog but also: I'm not bad at it so. not that sorry #pancakes (derogatory)

[lapis-lights]

Chapter 02 | You Could Kill Me And You Should

'Falling From Grace' Series

[Vendetta!Leon Kennedy x Reader]

Song Title: This Is Love by Air Traffic Controller

Content Warnings: Leon is a Bad Driver (most important warning), Mostly tension building, They're getting better until they're not, Some nightmares

Word Count: 12k

Author's Notes: Second chapter of the Falling From Grace series! What did you guys think yesterday? I hope it was good enough in your guys' opinion! Anyways enjoy I hope you enjoy part two :D

Posts are scheduled for 8 a.m. EST every day until the series is complete!

Series Masterlist

Ao3

Summary: As you and Leon start working as allies, the more you start having second thoughts about him. Surely it couldn't mean anything...right? Conflicting emotions and a surprise visit shatter your whole view of him and you can't help but wish Leon would reveal his true intentions already.

✧ ˚ 　· 　　 .

"You're no good, you're no good. You could kill me and you should. I'm an idiot for thinking this was anything but blood..."

✧ ˚ 　· 　　 .

You're really considering your life choices.

Currently, you hold on for dear life in the fancy little sedan Leon owns as he races down the street, pushing fifty-five on a road where the speed limit was set to forty. It's only been a couple minutes since you left the motel and you wonder in amazement how this man manages to get anywhere with his horrendous driving skills. A stop sign comes up on the horizon, and he at least has the decency to slow down. You think it'll be smooth sailing but he slams his foot on the brake right before the sign and the entire damn vehicle jolts beneath you as your head almost crashes into the headrest. 

Maybe this was how he was trying to kill you. You never thought Leon would be interested in vehicular manslaughter.

Before he can even think about pressing on the gas, you unbuckle your seatbelt and earn a confused look from him. 

"Get out," you command, opening your door. "You're playing passenger princess now."

You feel much safer as you adjust the seat and mirrors and Leon lands into the space you had just occupied. As revenge for your abrupt change in seating, he cranks the religious Christian rock station on the radio and subjects you to guitars lamenting about Jesus as singers mourn the death of their savior. 

Truly, right now you wish Jesus would take the wheel.

"How did you even pass your driver's test?" You mumble, checking the street both ways (which you're sure Leon wouldn't have done if he still had the unfortunate privilege of driving) before tapping the gas and climbing up to a very safe forty-two.

"They said that while my driving was unpleasant, it technically wasn't unsafe or hazardous," he shrugs. "I got it on my third try."

"They lied to you, then," you frown. "Probably gave you pretty boy pity points or something."

“Pretty?”

When you glance at him, his eyebrows are raised suggestively and you scowl. “You’re so right, my apologies. Mediocre boy pity points.”

“Hey.”

When you get onto the main interstate and turn on cruise control, you finally let yourself relax, seeing that practically no other vehicles were out at this hour of the morning and gaining some sort of comfort that nobody was tracking you. For now, at least, you're safe.

The city Leon found that was near the laboratory you were planning on infiltrating was fairly large and he'd rented out a suite at the top of one of the prestigious hotels with government money that he spent without a glance. You'd simply stared at him when he revealed this information to you and he'd only smiled and told you to pack your things. 

Ridiculous. He was going to drive you crazy. 

The song on the radio switches and you're surprised that you know it. Leon seems equally surprised when he hears you humming the melody of the chorus under your breath. 

"You know these songs?" He asks.

You turn your left blinker on and check the rearview despite the lack of any other car. "Just this one so far. My family was heavy on this kind of music when I was a kid so it's mostly backed by nostalgia."

"Huh. Mine were too."

That surprises you. It's weird knowing you have something in common with him, especially with a childhood core memory like this one. He also didn't strike you as the type to have grown up on cheesy Christian rock, but the more you know. Maybe if you knew him earlier on, it would make more sense. After all, you'd only gotten to know him a little after the incident with Wilson and his business with working with viruses right under the president's nose. 

Of the course, the J.I.E. had wanted you to check it out before you firmly reminded them they were asking you to infiltrate the white house. 

After a few minutes of nothing but roads and listening to music, you hear light snores to your right. One glance is all it takes to know that Leon’s been lost to the gentle rock of the car and being lulled to sleep. The sight makes you soften a little as you return your eyes to the road and snake a hand to the knob that controlled the radio station. You twist until you find something you like, settling back into the seat as you keep on, singing the lyrics to some choruses you know mindlessly as the streetlights fly by in patterns of aged yellow. 

You only have a vague notion of where you are so it really is unfortunate that Leon had allowed himself to fall asleep so quickly, but you don’t really fault him. The guy technically was supposed to be on vacation but with your sudden intrusion, it made it near impossible to get the relaxation that a getaway insinuated. You feel bad, but also consider that he had volunteered to accompany you for this whole plan.

At the most, he could’ve nursed you back to health and let you go, blackmailing you later into telling any information you might gain. You know the government isn’t above doing something petty like that. 

But, here he was, snoring softly away in the seat of a car that’s being driven by one of the greatest threats on his life. Leon must’ve been exhausted if he was able to go unconscious despite all the risks. Not that you would ever dream of trying to engage in a fight while you’re going seventy on the interstate, but more so that you do owe him. You’re not the model of an upstanding citizen, but you try to keep your morals as best as you can in this industry.

You sigh, glancing out the windshield to see the bare trees lined with frost on their trunks flashing by as they bordered the interstate. Snow covers where grass usually sat so the blizzard must've been large having covered this much ground in the span of only a few days. 

Truly alone with your thoughts now, you reflect on everything that has happened. Of course, you’d told Leon what had happened at the J.I.E. when you left, but he never knew how you got wrapped up in all of that kind of stuff. For all he knew, you just showed up one day and found a new threat to his missions. 

As a high schooler, you’d always dreamed of doing something big. Despite being talked down by your partner at the time, you’d been determined to help those in need and care for the ones who’d been lost and needed guidance. ‘Justice for Inhumane Experimentalists’ was the title of those hopes and dreams so landing an internship there felt like you were one step closer to everything you wanted.

They promised you more. They promised you’d be helping masses of people. 

You’ve killed more than you can count on your two hands and have gotten a whole bunch of scars that you can’t even bear to think about now. That youthful hope has been sucked out of your soul, but your parents still think you’re in some city with a regular nine-to-five living your best life. You haven’t seen them in years, but frankly don’t care to try now.

You don’t care to open that can of worms.

You notice a green road sign that lets you know that the city is only a couple miles off of an exit, and you recognize the name of it uttered by Leon in passing when you asked him where you’d be heading. As you vear off the main interstate and merge onto the exit road, you hear a grumble and an odd noise of recognition. 

There’s a pause before Leon speaks, voice heavy with sleep and tiredness still lingering in his tone. “You’re thinking really hard over there.”

Confused, you slow down at a stoplight and actually turn to get a good look at him. “What do you mean?”

“Well, for one, you’re holding onto that steering wheel like you’re trying to choke someone to death–” you loosen your grip and your knuckles flood with color, “–and you’ve got that wrinkle in your forehead that you get when you’re really focused on something.”

“How do you know that?”

“I’ve almost killed you enough times to know when you’re trying to think of something to get you out of tight spots,” he reveals as the light turns green and you tear your gaze away from him to carefully turn left across the intersection. “You’re easy to read.”

“To you, maybe.”

“Are you saying you can’t say the same about me?”

He’s got you there. “Touché.”

“Thought so,” he leans back smugly.

Maybe you should have crashed the car while he was sleeping. You’d have to mourn the missed opportunity later. 

Lights appear on the horizon, and you feel better upon seeing the large silhouette of the city rising over the landscape. A green sign lets you know that you've breached the border as Leon begins directing you down the unfamiliar streets to one of the bigger storied buildings. You park easily into a free space and volunteer to start unpacking the bags so he can go check into the room. 

The ground is lined with ice and snow from the recent blizzard that had carried over this way too. Today, you and Leon would be setting yourself up for recon work on the J.I.E. but more importantly, buying you some much-needed clothes and necessities. Now that you were close enough to actual stores, you could pick up some things you've needed since you showed up at the motel. 

When Leon reemerges, he has a key card in hand. 

The two of you don't say anything, but each takes a suitcase to at least make it look like you brought something. The light hits your eyes as you enter through the sliding doors and wave politely to the hostess who's sitting alone at the front desk. 

"I hope we'll provide you with a nice place for your honeymoon," she calls out and your stomach drops. "If you need anything, just let me know!"

"Oh! Thank you so much," you enthuse with an exaggerated smile. It drops as soon as you round the corner to get on the elevator and you whirl around to Leon who's acting like he did nothing. "Really, Kennedy? A honeymoon?"

"It made the most sense since I booked the suite," he shrugs placidly, reaching around you to press the button to call the lift. "So try to behave and be a good little wife, yeah?"

That old flame of hatred reignites in your chest and you remember just exactly why you and Leon had such an intense rivalry. You frown when he tilts his head up to watch the numbers tick down on the small screen above the door frame, and before he can get the chance to even think, you elbow him sharply in the gut earning a pained wheeze and a satisfactory double over. 

The elevator doors open, and you walk forward with a grin, the suitcase rolling behind you. "Come on, husband. We've got a room waiting for us." 

The glare he gives you is probably one of the nastiest you've ever seen.

"So much for a peace treaty," he mutters under his breath and you roll your eyes as he gets on.

Really, you shouldn’t have let your guard down after all the vulnerable moments you’ve shared with him and you’re reminded that this partnership is merely temporary on both ends. Once Leon gets what he wants and your little vendetta has been quelled, you’d part ways and end your feud by never having to see one another again. 

Thank god for that.

The room is decorated modernly, with crisp white sheets and polished wooden floors that seem to be upheld in the most pristine condition one could afford. In all honesty, getting to spend the night in something like this after having to live in the motel for a couple of days was a blessing. If you weren’t still pissed at Leon’s surprise cover story, you might have thanked him.

He really couldn’t come up with some better excuse, huh? Maybe you should handle all the talking during this mission proceeding forward.

You let the suitcase in your hand come to a stop as you take in the view. On the far wall, large velvet curtains cover the entire space and curiously, you peak through them. You find that the entire wall is just one big window and t view is breathtaking, showcasing a city waking up as the sun just barely begins to rise up from over the horizon. The sparse amount of sunlight stays easy on the eyes and you sigh quietly as you simply resign to watch. 

“I hope a skyline isn’t enough to wow you,” Leon’s voice breaks you from your quiet stupor and you crane your head around to look at him unimpressed.

Did he ever know when to keep his mouth shut? 

“I’m sure liking a skyline is a better sight than all the pornstars you probably blow all that money off on,” you bite back, moving away from the window and wrapping your arms around yourself. 

“Are you still hung up on the cover story?”

“Yes.”

“You’re immature.”

“And you’re insane.”

Leon groans and you choose to ignore his theatrics in favor of looking at the brochures provided by the hotel on what to do. There was a large shopping district near here that caught your eye. The title of it shared the last name of one of the officials in the J.I.E., and having it be located so near to one of the hidden labs must be no coincidence. 

You’re about to bring this point up to Leon when you notice he’s standing a lot closer than you were expecting. You hadn’t even heard him moving and your heart leaps up into your throat, effectively killing any words you were about to say. 

“Look, if this is gonna work out, we need to get along as best we can,” he begins and you already feel like he’s chastising you like a kid who got caught with their hand down a cookie jar. “I’ll consult you on any more cover-ups we might have to pull off in the future, but we need to cooperate if we’re gonna make it out of this alive.”

You know he has a point, but you won’t let yourself be told off as if he wasn’t being a fucking instigator. “You wanted to come on this road trip, Kennedy. Remember that.”

You brush past him roughly and decide to slam into the bathroom, breathing out and leaning against the door when you get inside. The mirror is bordered by a bright white light that reflects in your eyes when you look into it. As per usual, you’ve seen better days, and you think bitterly about how much your appearance has deteriorated since your primetime, so to speak.

People your age should be having kids and going out drinking every weekend to take off the end of dealing with coworkers and customers–not fighting a constant war against unnatural bioogical weapons. 

Unless you hopped on a dating app or something stupid after this whole thing is said and done, there was no hope for you. 

You pretend like you’ve gone to the bathroom, flushing the empty toilet bowl and washing your hands to get rid of the persistent feeling of dirt on your palms. When you walk out, Leon’s got the curtains drawn and was standing right in front of the window. He turns upon you exiting, awkwardly motioning to the view. 

“You should come see the sunrise,” he says, hands rubbing the back of his neck like he’s a boy asking out the baker’s daughter. “It’s pretty. You’ll like it.”

Cautiously, you join him and look out. Leon’s right–it’s pretty.

The sun doesn’t intrude on your eyes but only slowly rises as a ball in a shade of fiery orange, lighting up the skyline until you can make out the finer details on buildings that reach the height of the hotel. It illuminates the entirety of the suite in a golden glow, and you look up at Leon to ask him why he’d done this but the question catches on your tongue.

He looks beautiful in this setting, some dark and repressed part of your mind croons. His features are framed just right and the shadows pronounce and contrast all the parts of him that you neglect to notice just for the sake of having known him for so long. The only other time you’ve reluctantly admired him was the last night you’d spent together in the motel under the cover of darkness in the middle of nowhere.

You decide that despite your history together, this is how you want to remember him.

“You’re right,” you murmur, catching his attention and those blue eyes find yours. He’s almost as breathtaking as the skyline is. “It’s really pretty, and I do like it.”

He’s so close, you can almost feel his body heat if you focus hard enough, and that deranged part of your mind grows and grows until you finally have the clarity to shut it down. You shake your head mentally, breaking your eye contact to actually look at what he’d meant for you to.

What the hell just happened?

Had you really just indulged that impulsive little voice in your mind again? You could admit that Leon was attractive objectively, but you’re not just any woman who would fall for his charms and smooth-talking tongue. You know him too well for that. 

Some feeling curls in your chest, crossed between disgust, glee, hate, and excitement. Whatever it is or what it means, you don’t like it. 

For now, you allow yourself to stay in this quiet moment–one of the rare things you hardly ever get–and admire the sun. 

✧ ˚ 　· 　　 .

Bustling cities had never really been your style, but you've been forced to deal with them one too many times.

For some reason, you hadn't expected the sleepy city you watched wake up would turn into such a tornado of chaos once the sun had climbed up into the sky enough. For this reason, it was important you and Leon stayed close together so that you wouldn't lose each other in the storm. 

If only you had a phone for emergencies, but that was too easy of a way for the J.I.E. to track you down simply. It was safer to be off the grid entirely. 

The effects of winter were still in play unfortunately so the snow hadn't left the streets just yet. Icicles persistently formed wherever they could and the wind still swept with an icy chill that made you shiver under the clothes you decided to wear for the day. 

It was nearing lunchtime and Leon was adamant about finding someplace to sit down to eat after walking aimlessly around town trying to find the location in the brochure you'd found, though you both agreed on going when it would be less busy. The fatigue would have worn you down if he didn't force you into a sweet little café that just happened to be along the sidewalk you'd been strolling on.

“I could’ve kept going,” you defend, and Leon levels an unconvinced look at you. 

“We needed a break anyways,” he refutes, motioning to a menu written in chalk above the counter where a glass display case sits. “Go find something, and don’t worry about the price.”

You want to taunt him for having to buy his enemy something as if you really were on a date, but the overwhelming hunger that hits you is enough to make your mind wipe clean. As Leon begins ordering his things, you peek into the display case where all the little cakes and pastries are displayed while listening to him talk with the cashier.

“How do you like working here?” he was saying.

“Oh, it’s good work,” the cashier answers. He’s got dark hair with shocks of silver lining it and a full mustache. His eyes seem honest enough. “I’ve been the store owner of this old place for my whole life, really.”

“Store owner?”

“Got it from my dad,” the guy says before glancing your way–though you pretend like you aren’t watching him through your peripheral–and teases, "Your girlfriend?"

"Oh, no," Leon deflects easily, shaking his head. "She's not my girlfriend."

Upon hearing that, something must have possessed you at the moment for some inexplicable reason. In a split-second decision, you straighten up and give a sugary bright smile to the store owner.

"I'm his wife."

You can feel Leon’s stare burning holes in your head.

“Oh!” the store owner seems mildly surprised. “I should have known–we get married couples younger than you two all the time.”

You resist looking at Leon in favor of ordering what you’d decided on during their shared conversation. He has enough consciousness to slide a card into the reader when it was time to pay, but you know he’s just bursting at the seams to ask what the fuck you were pulling.

To be honest, you didn’t even know yourself. 

“What are you doing?” he hisses quietly once you slide into a booth in the corner. “I thought we were discussing any cover stories we were doing.”

“You came up with that.”

“You weren’t on board with it.”

“It just took me by surprise this morning.”

Leon sighs, massaging the bring of his nose like this whole thing was giving him a headache. To be fair, it probably was, but you weren’t too keen on trying to push it. After all, you were the reason he was on this wild goose chase during his vacation time even if he was the one who practically forced you to take him along.

“Playing house isn’t going to kill us,” you assure, glancing at the other customers minding their business. “We can be the absolute picture of a newlywed couple until this is all finished.”

Leon peeks up at you with uncertainty. “You’re sure about this?” 

“I’m sure.”

“Right,” Leon breathes out, folding his hands and leaning forward on his forearms, fixing you a look that says he's settled on a decision about something. “Just for now.”

The store owner comes by, placing your drinks in front of you and a few paper bags with what you’d ordered. He sends a not-so-subtle wink at you, saying, “It was nice meeting you guys. You keep him in line, alright?”

You giggle and poise yourself in a way that makes you nothing but innocent. “I always do, don’t I?”

“To some degree,” Leon mumbles under his breath, taking a sip of the coffee he’d chosen. 

Your thoughts clear when you get proper food in your stomach and you finally gain enough sense to properly take in the café you'd found yourself in. It's definitely small, with only a few tables being occupied including you and Leon, but the service seemed nice enough. There's no time to let your guard down, though, so you shift in your seat and clear your throat, getting Leon's attention.

“So Williams’s place is just a couple blocks away,” you begin. “He’s the operator of exports and imports of the J.I.E. so he was absolutely vital within their operations.”

Leon busies himself with taking a bite out of the banana bread he'd gotten. Did he even really like it? “Did you have to encounter him often?”

The question leaves a bad feeling rolling in your chest so you choose to avoid making any more trouble than what was necessary.

“Not much,” you say. “He’s good with his words, though. You’ll want to be careful if we do happen to see him since he knows both of our faces.”

“He’d attack us in broad daylight?” Leon’s brows furrow.

“No,” you shake your head, sipping on your own drink as you try to form a way to explain it to him. “Agents in the J.I.E. are trained especially in stealth so if I were to hazard a guess, he’d have someone stalk us and then send an assassin to put us out of the big picture."

"Is that what they did with you?"

You tilt your head, trying to think since it's been a good while since you were on a rookie's level. "I was taught a little more than just typical stealth. I was only dispatched to your location once they knew I could get myself out of a tight situation effectively."

Leon hums, leaning back in his seat and giving you another look that you can't discern. "I see."

The question rolls off your tongue before you have the sense to stop it. "Why do you keep looking at me like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like you're trying to find something, but you can't." He's never done that before when you'd been fighting. It's frustrating, knowing that even though you've picked out his mannerisms on a microscopic level, you couldn't catch it all.

Leon blinks before leaning back forward and saying lowly, "Maybe I am looking for something, but you're not letting me find it."

What?

"What's that supposed to mean?" You huff, folding your arms across your chest. Instinctively, your thumb rubs circles on your upper arm. "C'mon, Leon. When are you going to stop being so cryptic and just give me a straight answer?"

"I could do that," he muses, crumbling up his now empty paper bag, "but, it's more fun not to. You're a smart girl–you can figure it out."

 "Flattery won't get you anywhere with me, Kennedy."

"I'm not trying to flatter you."

The two of you come at a standstill as you try to decipher whatever puzzle he thought would be funny to put you in and he waits patiently for your answer. This whole rivalry between the two of you was a battle of the minds just as much as it was of strength when actually fighting, but this has to be one of the most confusing things you had to unravel about him. When he wanted to, Leon really could be an enigma. 

He holds his emotions close to his chest–you know that much. 

People have recounted that he's charismatic and charming, though you've seen less of that side and more of the stone-faced agent who doesn't let any of his internal feelings show. You only know this because you'd been trained to do the exact same thing. Thinking about it, the J.I.E. had just been building you up to be someone who could stand up against someone of Leon's caliber, and the realization that you really were just a weapon in their eyes makes your whole mood sour.

"We have to get a move on," you interrupt the tension and put an end to your small staring contest. "We should get this visit over with as fast as possible."

Leon frowns, not used to seeing you give up so easily but shuffles from his seat to follow you out of the booth. The two of you throw away your trash and push back out into the blinding sun that causes you to shield your eyes, looking around and finding a gap in the crowd to start moving in. Leon trails close behind, his hand brushing yours as he fits himself next to you in the sea of bodies. 

Your heartbeat quickens for a moment and you wonder why his touch suddenly burns in a good way. 

You make your way past the multiple stores looking for the familiar sign that you'd seen before while watching your surroundings. Even though the city isn't the largest you've ever been in, it's still pretty big and the buildings stretching up to touch the sky aren't anything to play around with. The air is still cold but with the peak of the sun, it provides a source of heat to combat it. 

When a certain sight catches your attention, you glance back to Leon and point at the building. "There it is."

You break away from the crowd with him hot on your heels as you approach the automatic sliding doors. The rush of warmth from the temperature outside is a blessing, and you adjust yourself to your surroundings. It seems to be just an average clothing department, though you're determined to figure out if it was anything more than that, which was highly likely. 

You and Leon had agreed that you should do your shopping here so that you could knock it out within the day before washing it at the hotel's laundry room unless you get caught. It's a low possibility, but a possibility nonetheless, so you resolve to be extra careful as you stray towards the women's section and start picking out clothes. 

You stay simple with some t-shirts, a couple pairs of pants and shorts, socks, and a pair of shoes. An employee catches you browsing and she makes her way over, looking between you and Leon before her eyebrows raise at the sight of him. 

"Hello," she greets overtly enthusiastically. "Is there anything I can help you with?"

She's talking to him more than she is to you, but it's not something that concerns you really. At the most, she'd ask for his number and he'd give her some burner digits before you left. 

"I think we've got it all handled, thanks," Leon answers, and you can feel him keeping an eye on you as you pretend like you're looking for something you like even though you have enough outfits to last a week. 

"Good!" She says, pausing awkwardly before speaking again. "I'm sorry, you're really good looking. Has anybody ever told you that?" 

"Some, I guess."

"Well–um–can I get your number? If your friend doesn't mind, I mean."

You catch his eye and the discomfort in his expression is evident. You understand why, what with the employee coming incredibly strong onto him for a stranger who just thought someone looked nice. Sparing him some grace, you move closer just enough for him to use you as a scapegoat if he wanted. 

He takes your incredibly subtle hint immediately. 

"This is actually my wife," Leon rushes out, a little too fast if you were critiquing him, but you can't fault him for it. "We're here on vacation."

You give her a little wave, and her eyes latch onto your hand where absolutely no ring lies on your bare ring finger.

"Oh," she says flatly, all of the false bravado she built up wilting immediately though her disappointment is shadowed over quickly by the customer service facade. "Right, sorry. Then you guys should go to the Silver Orchid. It's a fancy restaurant around here that makes for a good date spot so I'd recommend going."

"We'll look into it, thank you.” You smile and she falters. 

"Okay, well, let me know if you guys need any help," she says and walks away, going faster than the usual gait.

Once she's out of ear shot, you hear Leon mumble. "Thank you."

"Of course." The earnesty in your own words surprises you. "Should we start investigating?"

"You don't want anything fancy?" He asks, motioning vaguely in the direction of the portion of the women's section that held dresses, skirts, and flowy tops. There was really no reason to dive into it. 

"I don't really need that kind of stuff," you frown, confused as to why he was asking. 

Leon, for the first ever time in all the years you've known him, is flustered. "Well it looks like I'm treating you to dinner tonight, so…"

You stare at him in wonder, mouth dropped open in slight amazement at the tension lying in his shoulders and the way his skin reddens with embarrassment. Never before have you seen him like this and if you didn't know any better, you might've thought he really was asking you out on a date. He wouldn't ask you of all people, though, so why he'd ever want to go out pretending to be your husband more than he needed to baffles you.

Perhaps he just wanted to make the most of his actual vacation. That made sense.

Right. That must be it. There was absolutely no other reason for him insisting shyly to go to dinner at a fancy restaurant that couples frequented, and there was definitely no reason that him insinuating this fact made your palms clammy and your stomach flutter like those romance novels always talked about with the butterflies. 

"You're sure about this?" You ask, parroting his question from earlier when he asked if you really were okay with posing as a married woman. "We can just hit a pizza place on the way back or order something at the hotel, you know."

He doesn't meet your eyes, which is uncharacteristic of him. 'I'm sure."

Softening, you feel vulnerable in a way you haven't felt ever since he stitched up your back–maybe even more so now. "Alright. You'll have to spend a couple extra so I can doll myself up properly."

"You know money's not an issue."

"I know, but I just wanted you to know."

What was happening? What happened to hating him to the point of being ready to shoot him as soon as your finger got to lay on a trigger? What happened to heated words and fighting viscously and being ready to cut each other's throats open whenever there was a chance for it? Sure, you had agreed on civility, but you're pretty sure a peace treaty didn't involve going out on faux dates and feeling things you shouldn't. 

When did this all change? When did this all shift?

Has saving your life really been the turning point in this situationship?

You ponder over these questions as you go through the dresses in your size. There were multiple in a myriad of colors in a variety of shades that you couldn't even name, and they were all cut in different shapes and unique designs. However, you really couldn't think straight enough from being torn between picking something nice and wondering about the things you were feeling when Leon unknowingly left you in torturous suspense. 

"You'd look good in this one."

His voice pulls you from your wandering and you look up to see him tugging on a navy blue number that wasn't too flashy and wouldn't show off much of your back. It could easily be remedied with a cardigan, and he had a point that it was a very pretty dress.

"You think so?" You ask, shuffling through the hangers until you find it in your size. It's nothing you've never worn before and a slit is revealed in the side that would trail up to your thigh. You've worn more revealing things before, but this is the first time you’ve done it for something that isn’t necessary to the mission.

"Yeah," he agrees. "You should go try it on, and maybe try and see if there's anything in the dressing rooms that piques your interest."

Oh, that smartass.

"You're right," you murmur. "They might be hiding something in there, huh?" 

"Couldn't hurt to check."

You pick up a black cardigan that would fit with the whole outfit along the way before finding the dressing rooms, picking one at random, and getting into one of the small cubicles. You're alone with nothing but the soft glow of the lights that surround the full-length mirrors that show off every angle of the body needed.

First and foremost, you touch around the walls for any possible hidden panels, but you come up empty handed. As far as you know, activation mechanics could be hidden anywhere but perhaps that's not what they used here. You check the hooks which turn out to be just an average rack screwed into the wall, and find your last resort in the mirror panels. 

You tug on the bottom of the central main panel and it gives away to your surprise.

There's a steel door hidden behind it with a thick gry block affixed next to the handle. The metal is warm and faintly, you can feel the hum of some sort of electricity going on behind it. Whatever they were hiding here, it sounded complicated and big, and there's no telling what was behind it. You make a mental note about it as you close the panel back and make sure it was firmly reattached. 

You nearly walk out of the room before realizing that the dress you’d picked up was still hanging innocently on the hook.

A frown makes its way onto your face with uncertainty, insecurity rolling in your chest before deciding to give in. It’s been a while since you went out for a nice dinner since you preferred not to get pity looks ordering a table for one and dates were practically nonexistent. You’ll play along for now. It wouldn’t hurt, right?

Turns out, it hugs your figure just right and you wonder silently how for all Leon’s worth, he’s managed to pick out something that you agreed looks at least decent. The addition of the cardigan adds to the flair, making you something dark and mysterious, and your imagination provides a candid shot of you and Leon side by side clad in navy blue hanging on each other’s arms.

He’d look good in a suit.

You hurry to change back into your previous attire, cheeks flushing as if someone had caught you fantasizing about something you shouldn’t be. Making a mental note to pick up a pair of fancy shoes next, you make your way out of the dressing room with the dress slung in the crook of your elbow and find Leon absentmindedly browsing belts.

“You’ve fortunately got an eye for women’s fashion,” you say, and he perks up upon hearing your voice.

“Yeah?”

“Mhm. Have you got anything fancy enough for a date night, Mr. Kennedy?” 

He seems to process the teasing lilt to your voice, blue eyes conflicted before he turns away, not looking at you as he replies, “You underestimate me, Mrs. Kennedy. Of course I’ve got something.”

Your mouth drops open, staring after him as he begins striding away, clearly intending for you to follow. Disbelief covers your expression as you trail behind him, still trying to understand what he was trying to do other than lightening the mood. Surely he wasn’t as forward as this when he really was trying to flirt with someone?

Then again, playing pretend for a mission could hardly count as flirting.

“We’ll hit shoes and make-up then go, Sound good?” Leon suggests, stopping when you don’t answer him. 

He looks down at you as you shake your head slightly, clearing your overanalyzing moment and blink. “What?”

He doesn’t explain anything for a second, only giving you that soul-searching gaze again, before smiling gently as if he found a hint of what he’s been looking for. “Nothing you should worry about. C’mon, the sun will be setting by the time we get back to the hotel if we keep going at this snail’s pace.”

You nod, following behind him, eager to get out of this place so you could safely tell him what you’d found in the dressing room out of earshot of any potential enemies. Well…you also might be entertaining the idea of getting to know him better over some good food.

And outside, the persistent ice finally begins to melt.

✧ ˚ 　· 　　 .

It's been a long while since you had dealt with makeup, fancy outfits, and elegant things. 

For a good while, you had nothing that was ever soft or fragile, but rather your training had hardened you and roughened your personality around the edges so much that they had sharpened into something dangerous. You were an agent, meant to live a secret life in the shadows gaining information for your bosses, and survival was the key term to your success. Fragility wasn't an option, and your looks didn't matter when bruised and bloody out on the field.

However…this hasn't ever hurt anyone.

When you and Leon had returned to the hotel suite with arms full of shopping bags and aching feet, you took hold of the bathroom to resign yourself to doing your preparation of your look in there. A hot shower was the perfect distraction from the heart beating strongly in your chest in anticipation of what may happen tonight, and your fluttering nerves weren't any help either. 

A shame to say that the makeup brushes felt foreign in your grasp and it takes a moment to remember what everything did and what they were used for. 

It comes to you eventually, and you fall into a vaguely nostalgic and familiar routine as you pick through all your products carefully and choose what you'll use. Going for a natural look with accents to pop, you steady your shaking hands and lose yourself in the delicate motions of dolling yourself up. It doesn't look bad at all for someone who hasn't touched this stuff in years.

The dress comes next, and when you slip it on, you feel like a whole new person. Even just standing barefoot in the bathroom only halfway done with your whole set, it already feels like you could forget about the life you're leading. Maybe for tonight, you and Leon could be normal for once without any bioweapons or governmental duties or even feuds. For tonight, you could be whatever you wanted.

With this new mindset, you heat up a flatiron and wait patiently to spruce up your hair. There was no need for any intense changes, but just a touch up went a mile and once you'd gotten it to where it flowed with the look, you hair sprayed it and let it sit. All that was left was the shoes and once you had those on, you'd be ready. Some small part of your thoughts wonder what Leon would think of your whole get up. 

When you step out, the cool air hits you, but it's not wholly uncomfortable. 

Leon turns around when he hears you exit, and he's in a simple navy button-up paired with slacks that probably cost more than your salary. Your face reddens when he doesn't hide the way his eyes rack up and down your form, taking in this new version of you like sweetened honey on his tongue.

"You look good," he murmurs, almost as if in a daze. "Really good."

His words make that simmering fire in your gut rise like a title wave and every sense gets cranked to a hundred. Sparks travel along your skin as you manage to keep your composure and not melt.

"You don't clean up too bad yourself, Kennedy," you reply, despite your head swimming with shameful thoughts of how damn good he looks when he's not in sweats. It's unfair dealing you these cards when you're supposed to hate him. 

You pass by to grab shoes and go to check yourself in the mirror, bending down to adjust the straps before standing straight and looking at your reflection. You really did look like a whole different person. A faint feeling of pride pulses in your chest and you turn to ask Leon if it was really okay, but the change in your position makes your small rare smile fade.

Without the cardigan, the scars are on full display for anybody to see and pick through. The rosy filter falls away and you're left with the brutal reality of what you really are–that this is all temporary no matter how much you avoided returning to the truth. 

Your eyes can't seem to tear away from the view of your back, pulling all of your attention away from Leon, and you don't even notice when his reflection joins by your side in the mirror. 

"Hey," he murmurs, earning a faint flick of your eyes toward him in recognition. "None of that, okay?"

"But-"

"But nothing," he says firmly, and the words of protest die on your tongue. "C'mon. You look great."

"What's the catch?" You ask sullenly, snatching up your cardigan and throwing it over your shoulders–anything to get those reminders of shame away from your vision. "You'd never compliment me without wanting something in return."

Leon shakes his head. "Nothing. I can't compliment my not-wife whenever I want?"

That pulls a huff of a laugh from you as you roll your eyes, but you know he can probably read the reluctant amusement pulling at your painted lips. Since when did he know how to lighten up your mood so easily?

"You can compliment me when we're in public and have to convince people we're actually married," you decide, moving past him towards the door. "And yet I don't even have a ring on my finger. What a shame."

"I didn't think you were interested in material goods," he comments, opening the door.

You walk out into the hallway, waiting for him to close the door and make sure it was locked. "They say diamonds are a girl's best friend."

"I thought your best friend was that magnum you almost took my eye out with."

"...You got me there."

You don't trust Leon to get there safely without crashing the car into a pedestrian so you convince him to fork over the keys once you reach the vehicle. He only pouts minimally, but eventually gets over himself after you tease him for being the optimal passenger princess. He has a map built into the screen on his dashboard so you look up the name on the search bar and find the address. 

You put the vehicle in reverse and back out, pulling out of the parking space and navigating out into the city roads. 

Honestly, the sunset looks just as pretty as the rise was in the morning, but this blaze lasted just a tad longer. It's so bright that you have to lower the sun visor just so that it isn't intruding into your eyes. 

"I'm curious," Leon begins from your side and a spark of interest rolls in your chest. You've been doing that a lot lately, being constantly attuned to whatever he was doing at the moment and whatever he says. It's ridiculous. "How come you've never been here if it's so close to the location you left?"

You frown. "You're curious a lot."

"Sure."

"Well," you breathe in, taking the chance to switch lanes and find some small comfort in the rhythmic beat of the turn signal, "I was pretty wrapped up in work to travel too far from the lab they had me at, and vacation days were rarely given out but it was more than enough to pay the bills. My apartment was in a different direction from here in a sleepy town that was off the map."

"That sounds nice," Leon murmurs and you have to huff out a laugh at that. 

"It was when I got to go. Landlords were a bit disgruntled since I was almost never home, but they got the payment from me and that's what mattered." You think about it, missing your old place already and how you'd tried to make it your own. It's not much, but it was nice enough in case anybody came over. 

Nobody ever did.

"Is that something you see yourself having in the future?" Leon asks.

"What?"

"Like a home that's away from all this crap. You know, something…quiet. Peaceful."

"I'd like to think so," you shrug and toss him a sad sort of smile. "But, I never got to experience it for real so I wouldn't know."

He doesn't say anything after that and you continue down the road in a settled sort of silence. The place isn't packed that much when you arrive, and you make a mental note to pay Leon back for everything he's done so far. At the least, this was some plot to get you in his debt to cash in a favor later, but at the most, it was light charity work.

You park into a vacant spot and turn the car off, lifting the visor up and opening the door. 

It's hit golden hour and it's evident when you spot Leon on the other side getting out. The small breeze sweeps his locks slightly and the glow of the sun casts him in an entirely new light. It was almost like this morning in your quiet moment at the window but magnetized and bumped to a hundred. In this setting, you think that some women would have killed to be in your spot, even if this wasn't a real date. You imagine he must have a lot of suitors at home. 

It makes you wonder if he had someone waiting for him and was just playing this whole thing out for fun. Maybe you were just his weekly entertainment for now.

You shake off that uneasy feeling and tear your eyes away, walking to the back of the car. He doesn't immediately follow, and a glance back lets you know he's staring after you as if he'd found something in you again that he'd been searching for. He still refuses to elaborate on that point, but it doesn't seem like anything to be worried about so perhaps Leon was just a naturally weird person. 

"You coming?" You call back to shake him from his stupor and he ducks his head, embarrassed. You'd almost call it cute. 

Almost. But you don't.

The Silver Orchid appears to be an incredibly expensive dining space, with a patio strung with strings of lights and set out with tables that were currently occupied by a few people. It's an incredibly modern black and white design complete with silver accents. When you walk up to the door, Leon pulls it open and holds it for you, and you can't stop the smile that crops up at the action. 

A chandelier hangs in the entrance, and the pathways behind the host stand splits into two ways. The gentle chatter of people could be heard in the background as the sound of a soft orchestra rang out from the speakers overhead without being overbearing. Even just from here, you can see the extravagance of the building and you almost feel out of place. You almost forget you're just standing in the middle of the doorway until Leon taps your arm to remind you where you are. 

The hostess greets you with a genuine smile–or at least much more convincing than the girl in the clothing store–and asks how many she'd be seating. 

"Just two," you answer, folding your hands politely. 

"Great!" She gathers up two menus and rolls of silverware before asking, "Would you like to be seated inside or outside?"

You look at Leon who shrugs helplessly.

Forming the perfect picture of a couple, you giggle and turn back to the hostess who waits patiently for an answer. "We'll take it outside."

"Perfect," she grins and waves you to follow her. "Let's go get you seated."

Outside reveals a wooden patio with floorboards that are more stable than the ones at the motel, and an aesthetically pleasing set up. Only a few people are out here, and as forewarned, most of them are couples. The hostess seats you at a table in the corner that gives off a view that isn't just parking lot and road, and assure you your waiter will be by shortly. 

Before you get a chance to move, Leon pulls out your chair and allows you to sit and adjust before placing himself on the opposite side of the table.

You raise an eyebrow, slyly asking, "You really know how to show a girl a good time, huh?"

"Only ones who can treat me right." Leon slides over a menu, winking in a way that would have had you on your knees.

He's given you the same answer you had said way back in the motel when tensions were high and you'd agreed not to kill each other. You're surprised he remembers such an insignificant moment, but then again, he was Leon Kennedy–the agent who always had to be on alert twenty-four seven and wasn't allowed to let any details slip. 

"Smooth," you allow, picking up the menu and glancing over it. "Jesus Christ."

The prices were insanely high for meals that were portioned incredibly well–you'd definitely be taking something to go seeing how much the pictures depicted the dishes. The numbers were making you anxious for no reason, though you felt bad that Leon would have to be paying for both you and him. 

His foot nudges yours under the table. "I hope you're not thinking about what I think you're thinking of."

"I can't help it," you mumble. "You're taking most of my paychecks when we get out of this whole mess."

"Haven't I already told you money is an issue?" He asks, though it's not unkind and more bordering on a playful scold rather than him being actually irritated. You've seen him angry and this definitely wasn't it. "I'm under direct orders from the president. One of my paychecks could probably pay your rent and utility bills five times." 

"Show off."

"I'm just saying," he holds up his hands as if surrendering. "Get whatever you want. When's the last time you ever did something like this?"

He has a point, unfortunately. 

"I'll pay you back somehow," you insist, though in what ways, you don't know. 

A waiter comes by, eyes light and smiling cheerfully. A notepad is in his hand and a sunny disposition to greet you with, he clears his throat like he was ready to recite some memorized speech. 

"Hi, welcome to the Silver Orchid, folks. Can I get you something to drink to start off?" 

Leon lets you order first, then chooses a beer that you purposely wrinkle your nose at. Before giving the go-ahead, he also orders a bottle of champagne and raises an eyebrow when the waiter disappears and asks, "Not a big drinker?"

"Not beer," you answer truthfully. "Tastes like fermented motor oil–but I didn't peg you to be the type to like it."

"Nah," he shakes his head. "Beggars can't be choosers, though. Hope you like champagne."

"It's been a minute. You're not trying to get me drunk and get me to spill all my secrets, right?"

He tilts his head, trying to get inside of your brain to see the way it works and what your line of thinking might be. "Whatever secrets you might have can stay yours. Maybe this is some big ploy of mine to finally get your number after all this time."

Your mouth drops open, and that smug little smirk causes that war of conflicting emotions to start warring in your chest. Leon leans forward on his forearms as his foot knocks into yours again, and it's something that strikes you as peculiar though you can't exactly place why. He's got enough spatial awareness to know where you were and definitely has enough reason to need to know what you were doing, but his advances were confusing you. 

He wasn't really trying to romance you. That much had to be obvious. 

Sure you both could play husband and wife all you want, but at the end of the day, you don't have a ring on your finger and you've given each other more wounds than you could count on both hands. Leon must really be letting loose if he's in a mindset that is willing to come onto you of all people. 

'Believe me, you're the last person in the world I'd ever try to flirt with.' he had said. 

You suppose even a broken clock is right twice a day. 

"You're ridiculous, Kennedy," you roll your eyes and lean back in your seat, kicking him lightly back. "I don't even have a phone number to give you so you're out of luck." 

"Ah," he mockingly sags and frowns. "I'll get 'em next time."

You snort, challenging him with a jut of your chin. "There won't be a 'next time' since you'll be distracted by the next decent-looking woman you see."

His eyes flash dangerously and a shiver rolls up your spine. You try not to show it. "Is that so?"

"I'm sure of it."

Leon doesn't get to answer since the waiter comes back with your drinks in hand and two champagne flutes alone with a dark green bottle. He sets it carefully on the table, setting to work on pouring your first glasses then taking out a notebook to take your order for meals. 

You'd decided on something that wasn't too astronomically high but also just enough so that you were indulging yourself the way Leon had encouraged. Still, you can feel his gaze on you as you order before smoothly doing the same. The waiter smiles, assures you he'll be back, and takes your menu before leaving. You curiously pick up a glass of champagne, watching how the bubbles fly inside of the liquid. 

"I'm surprised they had this brand," Leon mentions passively as he picks up his own flute before holding it out to you expectantly. "To truces?"

You smile and huff out a small laugh. "And to successful missions."

The glass clinks against each other sharply. 

"Amen," he mumbles before bringing the flute to his lips. You find yourself staring at the action longer than you should, watching the way his mouth is shaped around the rim of the glass so minutely perfect. Your thoughts stall, wondering just how many people he's kissed with that mouth. 

Would you be willing to be added to that list?

You almost drop your glass at the sudden thought, avoiding his questioning gaze as he looks back up at you. Your cheeks flush darkly as you busy yourself sipping your own champagne to avoid the obvious tension hanging in the air that asks why you were acting the way you were. Instead, you focus on the crisp bubbles popping over your tongue and hum appreciatively on the fruity taste that didn't stray to overbearing.

Your lipstick leaves an imprint on the glass. 

"That's better than I remember," you say, hoping the color would drain from your face eventually. "It's been too long since I had a good proper drink."

"They really kept you busy, huh?" Leon's mouth turns down into an unsatisfied frown. 

You trace the rim on your glass thoughtfully. "They did. But I got to see a lot of new places since I was shadowing you a lot."

"Yeah? Mind telling me about it?"

You search for any kind of lie in his eyes, the way you might try and see what he was hiding up his sleeve or if he was planning anything but you find no such facade. At this moment, it really feels like everything will be okay. Maybe right now, it's okay to allow him to see the person who'd been trapped under so many layers of disguise and hatred.

Somebody who loved to travel and see sights and only put her roots down when she was dead. Somebody who had no concept of home but had a love for the thrill of adventure. Somebody who couldn't possibly be trapped under contract with a company that held all her free will.

"Alright," you sigh, thinking back. "Where do you want me to start?"

✧ ˚ 　· 　　 .

There's nothing but rain. 

Thunder rolls darkly in the sky as lightning illuminates the near-black clouds and large puddles create mirrors on the muddied ground. All around you is nothing but wet wasteland dead knotted tree roots braiding up from the ground and curling around before diving back beneath the soil. There's no green or splashes of color from wildflowers–there's just ruin and destruction.

A whispering voice invades your mind, murmuring sinisterly. 

"Look at what you've done," it says. "Is this what you wanted?"

Nothing but death and decay–is that what you wanted? Was this the wish you had? You look down and find your hands coated with thick blood that does not wash away even under the sharp assault of raindrops that fall hard enough to nearly pierce through your flesh.

No matter how much you scrub, no matter how much you pray to some false god, there was blood on your hands. A fact you cannot change. 

"Is this your happy ending?" The voice says this time.

You look past your bloodied fingers and find cold lifeless eyes staring up at you. They're the color of the sky, the ocean, of sapphires gleaming in dark and rough places, and you've looked into them enough times to know who they belong to. His body lays in your arms, and blood–his blood–drips down your skin. 

Leon is cold. You should give him a jacket…or something to protect him from the rain.

"Why did you lie?" The whispering has risen into a tidal wave that threatens to tear you apart. "Why did you lie?! Your words meant nothing–nothing!" 

"I'm sorry," you mumble and your eyes sting sharply. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry won't bring him back," you stare at yourself across the wasteland, your expression betrayed and so so angry. "Sorry won't change the fact that you killed him!"

"I didn't mean it."

"I hate you."

"I should've…" Your mind becomes detached as you look down at Leon again, and realize that he's not just cold. He's turning blue, going into rigor mortis right there under the same hands that had killed him. The tears roll from your eyes and suddenly, you can't tell what came from the rain and what came from you. 

"Am I to pay for this?" The other version of you pleads, voice cracking and failing. "Am I to pay for you killing Leon?"

"Who are you?" You mumble brokenly, bringing up one of your filthy hands to caress his face that has long since gone. "What does he mean to you?"

"I'm you," they say, "and you killed the love of your life."

Thunder shakes the whole terrain enough to cause your eyes to fly open as you gasp sharply for air. Your eyes are wet and your cheeks itch with dried tear tracks as you pull yourself up to wipe them off furiously. The dream blossoms in your mind like a memory, a haunting little night flower unfurling its petals for the moonlight. What did that whole thing even mean? 

The dinner last night had resolved beautifully in a way you'd never expect before. The champagne had made you lighter than ever and the food was better than anything you've ever tasted in your life. You'd exchanged stories over the bottle, sharing perspectives of missions you were dispatched on after him and for the first time ever, he felt more like a friend than someone you had fought tooth and nail to try and kill. It was wonderful, something new and fresh and exciting. 

What about that could possibly herald such a horrendous dream?

You look around the room, trying to gather your bearings. Leon had insisted you take the master bed while unloading the pull-out bed the couch had inside of it. You'd been hesitant about him having such a flimsy mattress, he's reminded you that he's slept in worse places. It didn't bring much comfort to you, but you could tell he wasn't budging on the subject. 

Right now, though, he wasn't in bed. 

The covers had been tossed carelessly aside and the pillow had an indent of where his head must have been. You look towards the bathroom but find no light shedding underneath the door. Upon waiting for a few minutes, you don't hear the toilet flush or the sink running so you get up, padding across the soft carpet silently and carefully twisting the knob in case he really was inside and could alert you that it was occupied. 

Unfortunately, no such call came. 

The bathroom was empty, and the little night light inside provided just enough visibility to prove as such. Confusion spreads through your mind as you wonder where he could possibly be. Surely he wouldn't pay for a hotel suite just to leave you on your own? He wouldn't just abandon ship like that and besides, you saw his luggage still in the room when you had gotten up to investigate. 

It's then that you turn around from the bathroom and realize the curtains over the sliding glass door to the balcony are drawn only slightly, making a crack where they should have overlapped. It wasn't enough to arouse suspicion under normal circumstances, but you had made sure they were drawn tight right before you'd gone to bed under the paranoia that anybody could peek in.

You quietly look through and spot Leon's shoulder just around the corner. He's not pressed up against the railing as if he were stargazing, no. His arms look to be folded tightly across his chest, body swaying as if he were talking to someone. 

You reach toward and crack open the door, ears straining as their conversation becomes audible. 

"You don't need to worry about her," he's saying. "You need to let this go."

"Leon," a sultry feminine voice reaches your ears and your heart flips in the cage of your ribs. "You never know. What if she's just waiting to get you close enough to kill you? What would I do without you?" 

"You need to find a new trick," he sounds like he's scowling. "Ada, believe me when I tell you she's nobody. She means nothing to me." 

The sting of unsaid rejection almost knocks the wind out of your breath and effectively kills anything you were planning to say. Leon moves and you get a good look at the woman he's talking to, finding her staring up at him through seductive lashes that would be enough to entrance any man. 

Red flashes on her body and you think that she's enchanting enough to be a perfect match for Leon, darkness in her eyes as she looks defiantly up at him. 

"Come on, Leon," she sighs. "We both know that's not true. It's not safe where she's going–you could die in that lab."

"I know."

"And yet you'll still go?"

"I have to," he grunts stubbornly. "It's a part of my duty as an agent. I expected you of all people would understand that."

"Believe me, I do," she snaps. "I just don't see why you would aid her of all people. I'm trying to help you out here."

"And I don't need it."

The two stare down in a tense silent match until Ada finally relents, backing away and pulling something out of her pocket. She shakes her head in obvious disappointment, and you think you even see a hint of sadness that he won't see her line of reasoning. 

"Until next time," she promises and presses the trigger. 

A grappling hook shoots out from the end of the gun and there's a moment of goodbye where Ada tugs him down to her level, pressing a chaste kiss to Leon's mouth. She backs away, hand lingering on his cheek before flying off the balcony and disappearing into the night. 

You don't know how to feel as Leon stares at where she'd disappeared to. 

Did he really mean it when he'd said you meant nothing to him? Why did you feel like he just tore your heart out and stomped on it until it stopped beating before spitting on it for good measure? You ache, pushing the door back closed and stepping back towards the bed. A war rages in your head, chastising you for being so dumb and mourning that he had said you meant nothing to him, though you don't have enough sense to form a coherent opinion about any of it.

You burrow back under the blankets, pretending like you were still sleeping when Leon eventually comes back in as silently as he can. You can almost feel him looking at you and you wonder if he's debating on letting old habits die hard. Maybe he'll take out a handgun and end it now. You don't have any conviction to stop him. 

There's a pregnant pause before he whispers, "Did I wake you up?"

You don't answer, choosing to remain blissfully silent with a smoothed out browline to paint the perfect picture of slumber. He doesn't say anything else but only chooses to go back to bed as if nothing had happened, and the almost inaudible creak of the springs in the mattress let you know he's settled back in. 

All your hope drains from your body in that moment, unhappy and feeling understandably betrayed. Even if you hadn't made up, you'd assumed you meant something to him in the same way he meant something to you when you'd been fighting. Could it be possible that you were just another side piece in his story? Perhaps Ada was his lover trailing behind him and making sure that nobody was trying to advance on him. Would she be after you now that she knew you were sleeping in the same room and playing husband and wife with him?

You weren't after him anyway. Were you? You couldn't tell after all this time. All the moments you catch yourself staring at him longer than you were supposed to and pondering what it would be like to be able to kiss him in the way she had probably meant something unless it was just the hormones speaking, though you sincerely doubt it. 

You're too tired to make any sense of it.

Images of your dream flash in your mind–to his lifeless eyes and dead body in your arms, feeling a pain worse than any torture you'd been subjected to purely for the fact you knew he wasn't coming back. That you'd been the one to end him only made matters worse, and those lasting words you'd said to yourself still resonate in your head loudly. 

You'd been told you killed the love of your life in that cryptic little dream of yours.

Surely he wasn't that to you. He was nothing more than an impromptu business partner at best for right now, right? But, he was so charming and knew all the ways you ticked like the back of his hand. Is that what made you nothing to him? Were you no longer mysterious and exciting enough for him to keep on going like this? 

Night terrors were nothing new. They'd been a constant ever since your first mission where you'd been forced to toss a hand grenade into a crowd to stay alive, and you remember the limbs flying as the blood spattered across your skin warmly. With each new mission comes a new setting for your fucked up brain to twist every night. Some are easy to get over–easy enough that they don't affect you for the rest of the day. However, some showcase some of the most abysmally crude deaths you've ever had the misfortune of witnessing, replaying it like a radio stuck on a loop. 

This? This was something new. You've never had night terrors about something that never happened. 

You know this by the way Leon's breaths transition from that uneven pattern to something more steady and peaceful until he's letting out light snores that tell you he's completely under. He's alive, quite the opposite of dead, and certainly not a living flesh bag controlled by a virus or a parasite or something insane like that. 

Still, uncertainty reigns in your mind. 

Something bitter touches your tongue and you flinch, feeling that cold and angry feeling buzzing in your bones. Something in your mind that doesn't allow that grudge to die the way you want it to, urging you to end it all now and trying to convince you this thing either ends with you or him. You know better, but it doesn't make anything much nicer. 

You close your eyes, a frown on your face and hesitancy in your heart. 

Well…it was only a matter of time. 

#leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy #resident evil x reader #leon s kennedy #leon s kennedy x reader #resident evil #resident evil fanfiction #leon scott kennedy #leon scott kennedy x reader #leon x reader #leon kennedy imagine #leon kennedy x you #leon kennedy x y/n #resident evil leon #resident evil fic #resident evil x you #leon kennedy fanfic

[meetmyothersouls]

Back to u 4 tonight ?

I have worked my ass off on this so I really hope you guys love it!

Back To You

Jonah Hauer-King x reader

Warnings: memory loss, being drunk, throwing up, not proof read

Chapter 4

Jonah's POV

I sit in the library, leaning against my desk. I'm lost in thought, many of them. One of which is the information Jorge just threw at me. I scoff out loud even though no one is around to hear it. The idea of him taking y/n from me is so disgusting to me, it makes me sick to my stomach. I let him walk away unscathed only because I don't want y/n's new opinion of me to turn into a negative one.

Y/n. Then my thoughts go to her. I'm suddenly overwhelmed with a mixture of sadness, longing and love for her. I want our old life back so badly it hurts. I look around the library. It was her favorite room. One, because of all the books. I used to joke that she loved the books in this room more than me. Two, because of all the times we made love in here. I believe there's not one surface left untouched by-

A soft tap on the door brings me out of my daydream. I stand up straight, no longer leaning on my desk. It's Haven.

"Sorry, I was just looking for y/n."

"She's not with you?" I ask, immediately worried.

"No...I thought she was with you."

"Shit," I mutter under my breath. "Well, she's gotta be somewhere in the house. She doesn't know how to get anywhere else," I say, mostly to calm myself down.

Haven and I make our way down the hall, she's not too familiar with the layout of our house either, so she checks the downstairs amongst the guests Val invited, while I check the other two floors of our house. I wait and save my panic for when I'm totally out of sight. I check her room first, then the nursery; the two rooms I know y/n has seen with her own eyes. When those turn up empty, I scour the rest of the house. By the end of my search, I'm flying down the stairs and practically knock Haven over when I reach the bottom floor.

"No luck?" I ask breathless.

"No, but someone mentioned they saw her heading out with Val. Any thoughts on where they could be?"

I groan out loud, "I have an idea or two."

Y/n's POV

I'm downing my fifth shot, Val, Jorge, and several other people I don't know are chanting my name. I've never been much of a drinker, but according to Val, her and I go out and have drinks all the time. She shows me my favorite shots and drinks that we used to get together all the time and, to my surprise, I really like them. I apparently, lean towards the fruity ones with pineapple and strawberry purees. The shots are very bitter and nasty, but they burn going down which I kind of like.

"Okayyyy," I half yell/half slur. "Okay! I think I'm done."

Jorge and Val are talking, deep in conversation with one another and all of a sudden everyone is way too fucking close to me. The room is spinning and my heart is racing. It's too hot, my clothes are too tight, and I'm in England. I run out of the pub and the cool, now almost evening air hits me.

"I'mjustgonnagoonawalk," I call out to Val as the door to the pub swings shut. I wave to her as I turn the corner. I have no idea where I'm going and it's clear to me in my mind, but it doesn't stop me from walking on. The last...how many days has it been? Has been a whirlwind of emotions and information. I'm married, I was pregnant, I live in England and write for an apparently very prestigious magazine according to Val. For some reason the married thing and the pregnant thing have me laughing. I poke at my stomach. It's a little flabby and the tiniest bit sore, it's evident that something was there. That's when I notice that I'm not even wearing a wedding ring. I immediately feel kind of bad because of it. Jonah really is a nice guy and he clearly cares about me. And...I mean...he's very easy on the eyes. He's got the prettiest slightly curly hair, the bluest eyes I've ever seen. His skin is like this permanent sun kissed color that just occurs naturally. I start to wonder what his hands would feel like on my body and I'm reminded about how he grabbed the small of my back on the stairs today. I giggle out loud and have to grab a streetlamp post to steady myself. I look up and I laugh even harder, because I see him walking right toward me. I point to him and wave. Then he sees me, and he starts running. I'm almost on my knees by the time he gets to me. Jonah grabs me and pulls me against him.

"Thank god," he says breathlessly.

"You are real!" I giggle.

"What?"

"Wot?" I imitate his adorable British accent.

"My god, y/n are you drunk?!"

"Yes, Jonah, it appears thatIam. Val and Jorge introduced me to some verygood drinks."

"Jorge?"

"Mhmm. Jorge." I start to walk and Jonah follows. I feel a bit better about walking now, since he at least knows where we're going.

"He didn't...try anything did he?"

"Pffft."

"Y/n, I'm serious."

"Me too. I wouldn't have let him anyway. You're way hotter than he is." I'm a few steps ahead of him and I start to cross the street.

"Whoa!" Jonah yells as he pulls my wrist. My back is against him now and I'm very aware of how his body feels pressed up against mine. I make an effort to press harder against him, and if he notices he doesn't let on, but I wish he did. "Y/n, you can't just walk into oncoming traffic, Darling."

"Darling?" I look up at him, but he's looking forward, his eyes focused on the crosswalk, but he's got the slightest smile on his face.

Jonah's hand is resting on my lower abdomen, holding me protectively. It gives me a flutter in my stomach that I'd normally try to push away, but don't have the mental capacity to right now. He waits for the cross walk to change and when it does, he moves his hand. That's when I grab it and run across the street. We bump into a couple that's walking our direction and I accidentally knock the woman's coffee out of her hands.

"Sorry, I'm so sorry!" Jonah calls over his shoulder as I pull him along.

I'm doubled over in laughter as we make it to the sidewalk while Jonah stands next to me, his hands on his hips in disbelief. His mouth hangs open adorably, as he looks at me like he's seeing me for the first time. Then he's laughing. Hard. It's the happiest I've seen him look since I woke up in that hospital room a few weeks ago.

"You're really a piece of work, you know that?" Jonah says.

"Oooooh, is that a park? Come on!" I take off again, dodging couples and dog walkers and people on mopeds and bikes. Then, I'm on grass it's slightly damp and I feel it through my canvas shoes. It reminds me of the parks in New York. In the distance there's a pond with a fountain in the middle and several swans swimming against a sunset. It looks like a painting.

Jonah finally catches up, his hands on his knees as he catches his breath. "Where is everyone?" I ask.

"Huh?"

"There's not a lot of people here."

"Ah, yes. They're all at home, most likely."

I'm so focused on the scenery in front of me I don't even look at Jonah. "But it's so beautiful."

"Yes. You are."

"What?"

Jonah's staring right at me when I whip my head around. He clears his throat and looks off into the distance. "Yes it is. You know it's funny you came here."

"Why's that?"

"Well," Jonah says, as he begins to walk, "this is where you like to come when you need inspiration for writing. Sometimes I'll find you here laid out on a blanket with a book or a laptop. One time, ahh maybe two years ago, I couldn't find you anywhere. You left your cell at home, I checked every bookstore in London and you were nowhere to be found. I was about to call the police, when I drove past the park and saw a tiiiiny figure way out in the middle of the field."

"Was it me?"

"Mhm. It was. You came out here to read and guess what you did?"

"What?"

"You fell asleep!"

"No way!"

"Yes! You had me worried sick," Jonah laughs. He's still looking out into the distance like he can see the memory in the skyline. And suddenly I feel terrible. I feel dizzy and lightheaded and sick to my stomach. Maybe it's all the alcohol or maybe it's because he clearly loves me so much and I can't recall all those feelings myself.

"You okay?" Jonah asks when he finally looks at me.

"Y-yeah, just need to sit down."

Jonah grabs my hand and leads me to one of the park benches. We sit down and my nausea calms down slightly.

"Jonah?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm sorry." I turn to face him and my breath hitches in my throat. His face is close to mine, much like when we were on the staircase today. He's so beautiful up close I just want to touch his face.

"What for?" Jonah whispers.

"For not being what I was before."

"You're still my y/n, memories or not. You're mine and I'm yours."

"But...but how could you still like me the same knowing I don't have the memories you do or..."

"Y/n, you are my wife. I love you. I'm sorry if that overwhelms you. You don't have to say it. I know you don't love me. Why would you? You don't know me. But I've got a month to make you fall in love with me again and I'll do whatever it takes to make that happen. And even if you never love me again," he swallows hard, and I can feel his breath on my lips as he sighs. His face is so close to mine. He licks his lips and I can't help but lean in. I press my lips against his. He kisses me back softly then pulls away, just as I expect him to.

"Y/n, I'm sorry I just...I want you to be in the right state of mind before I kiss you and-"

Jonah doesn't finish his sentence before I'm throwing up on the ground in front of us.

"Your shoes!"

"It's okay, don't worry about them," Jonah says as he's pulling my hair back. I throw up again and again until my vision goes out and I lose everything around me.

I wake up and it's daylight, but it must be early. I'm wearing new clothes, which is just and oversized t-shirt, and my shoes are off. I'm in the same bed that I slept in the night before. The room is filled with that early morning bluish hue. It's making the room feel cozy and soft and cool.

I sit up in the bed, still no memories...other than kissing Jonah, him rejecting me and then throwing up all over his shoes. I groan and run my hand down my face just as the bathroom door opens and Jonah walks out wearing only a towel around his waist, his hair and body are wet from the shower he must have just taken.

And suddenly I'm filled with even more regret than before.

Tags: @danielabetancourth @luna2034 @wandamaximoffbae @twinkledinkleg-blog @anonyymoouussssss @nonsensical-nonsence @paramorelvrr @thedonswife13 @miniemonie2001 @jonahhauer-kingg

✨ If you want to be added to my Jonah taglist or I missed you on the tag list please comment here!✨

#Jonah hauer king #Jonah hauer-king #jonah hauer king x reader #jonah hauer king gifs #jonah hauer king fan fiction #jonah hauer king imagine #back to you #my writing #fan fiction #imagines

[magicalgirlsirin]

the elysian realm: well written, poorly directed

NOTE: this post is an elysian realm critical look by a relative newcomer to hi3, i dont really have the grace of having played it as it came out. i enjoy the elysian realm, but in my opinion, its absolutely a mess with regards to storytelling.

Part 1: so no theme?

When I titled this post, I meant it quite literally. There's plenty of stuff within Elysian Realm that is well written, I'm not here to argue that it isn't (with some small caveats). Most characters are interesting and engaging, and have a wealth of available text to further their depth. The real problem here is that all that detail and work isn't in service of anything. There is no theme to the Elysian Realm, no point of narrative, no common through line. Elysia introduces us to the realm, implies there's a point, that the 'unfinished lives' of these 13 trailblazers is going to go somewhere, and then waffles the plot all the way from the initial game mode through Elysium Everlasting, with a final cinematic which I will get to later for my thoughts on why it doesn't work.

The initial game mode that kicks off the story is just oddly paced. The first chapter is relatively fine, just serving as an introduction to the realm and its mechanics both in and out of universe. One of the first questions I had was just "why does kevin have a weird basement paradise with ai copies of his mostly dead friends and then also a version of himself and hua who are still very much alive" and I'm loathe to report that the realm never bothers answering this question or elaborating on why it exists. At risk of sounding like HoC, it really is a meaningless diversion with pointless people existing redundantly.

The second and third chapters, however, are unforgivably bad. I realized upon reflection they were probably heavy focus on Mobius and Aponia respectively because their suits were debuting at the time (or something to that effect) but it feels like such an agonizing detour to focus on them with seemingly no other motive. Learning about the two furthers my understanding of the Flame Chasers as a unit, I Guess, but doesn't illuminate anything about the realm or even Elysia.

I will get back to Elysia.

Part 2: No really, why is Mei here?

Another major problem with the Elysian Realm is that Mei pretty much ceases to be a character. Even though she's the point of view, she barely expresses any of her own opinions, thoughts, or even basic input outside of rebuffing Elysia's attempts to flirt with her. Sure, she still has some snark and sass to her, especially when interacting with Kevin, but outside of that I can barely remember anything important she does. Which is crazy! I could easily describe any other contribution she's made to various chapter sets/arcs within the game, but the Elysian Realm is absolutely dead air.

This ties into the fact that the realm has no theme, there's not a point, so Mei isn't going on a character journey. You could argue that Elysia is influential to Mei's arc for gifting her the power of origin, but that's not really... character growth. Mei becomes origin because she accepts the blessings* and ideals of the Flame Chasers, but because she didn't learn dick or shit in the actual realm, everything kind of just rings hollow. Mei functionally is meant to be a stand in for you, the viewer, to self insert into the realm and imagine that you're the one interacting with everyone, which is such a disservice to Mei.

*I want to briefly sidebar to curb the misconception that Mei was given the power of origin because she collected all the signets, or that the point of the realm was to find someone to collect them all to have that power passed along to them. Mei getting the power is unrelated to the realm's existence as far as I'm concerned, given that Hua says this:

I trust that Hua is telling the truth here, mostly because she has no reason to lie to us. What this does leave us with is, unsurprisingly, still no answer on the purpose of the realm. Vague handwaving of Kevin saying that Mei has earned the right to "seek answers" only for the narrative to do a weird slight of hand where Aponia goes "now you get to know Elysia's secret because you defeated me kyaaaaa" is not the point. I doubt Kevin allows people into his basement for the possibility of finding out some dead chick from 50,000 years ago that no one outside of WS would actually know by name was secretly a herrscher.

Speaking of which.

Part 3: The Elysia was always a herrscher reveal is dumb

I know this is the most contentious part of the discourse™ when it comes to Elysia, but I cannot understate how stupid it is. I can accept retcons of herrscher order, begrudgingly but yes I will concede if the game wants to commit to it. What I cannot concede to is the game saying that Elysia was born a herrscher.

All the Flame Chasers got MANTIS surgery. This is a fact. Elysia received it as well. Don't you think like, I don't know, literally anyone involved in the procedure would have noticed she has honkai radiation off her like a nuclear bomb? This is such a basic hole in logic and it feels like the game almost wants you to forget that this is a thing, but I didn't, I've spent the past 2 months digging through all the realm game mode text to come to this conclusion.

I also have grift with the fact that she was a previous era herrscher with sapience, since a lot of the tragedy of the previous era is because of the loss of humanity. Kevin was fucking devastated by the HoF emergence, because he hesitated. He saw Murata's face and thought she was still in there. But she wasn't. Kalpas lost Emile to the HoD. Mobius lost Klein, not only to her own over-ambition, but to HoL. Sakura lost Rin to HoC. All of these are essential to their stories, and it's because those herrschers were just mindless tools, godproxy emanators of destruction with no higher order thinking skills. Only a will to subjugate humanity.

Oh but actually Elysia is a sweet and special perfect girl who never did anything wrong, she didn't betray anyone, she was always the bestest girl who loved humanity and was a friend to everyone because she's so lovable and you should love her too ❤️❤️❤️

Yeah no I'm not doing that. I want to make it clear that I actually really like Elysia, and it doesn't take much to fix the parts of her story that have no logic or retcon themselves in the span of a chapter. She's very close to being well written, which makes it all the more frustrating that the narrative continually bends around her to make her have less flaws. Elysia is pushy! She's overbearing, and tends to needle at people whenever she notices something. She forces Mobius to try on clothes she likes but Mobi doesn't, she constantly flirts with Mei and calls their hangouts dates even if Mei doesn't seem interested, she's a little selfish and plays pranks, all of this stuff is very endearing! I just can't deal with the other things the game does to try and make me like Ely more.

Part 4: Even if I try to fix it, the realm is broken

I could sit down and outline ways to fix Elysia's writing, the way the realm's story is structured, and it would be fine and dandy in service of smoothing over the stuff I didn't like about it, but you know what it wouldn't fix?

Mei.

Yeah I think we all just keep forgetting about Mei being in here. The thing is that because the Elysian Realm is such a dead weight in canon, you almost can't make Mei go through character development because it wouldn't flow into Transcending Finality in a comprehensible way, and this post isn't about the problems with the final chapter set of Part 1 (although I do promise I have some complaints about the writing choices in there too).

The realm treating Mei as a self insert, and not really serving her arc either, is seen most obviously in "Because of You", the ending cinematic. One that famously doesn't feature Mei at all in the fighting. The ender for this arc is Elysia, because all things start with Elysia. It's Elysia Impact all the way down, except for the part where it has literally no bearing on the main plot.

And that's the problem, isn't it? The only thing the realm really does is augment our understanding of Kevin, and only barely so if you want to split hairs about how Sim!Kevin isn't our Kevin, given that there's a few stray dialogue moments that actually go against Sim!Kevin and most other characters insistence that Kevin is an immovable rock of a man.

So at the end of it all, what do I even say? I love the realm, obsessed to death with it, all the characters are my favorites, well written, absolutely dogshit in terms of story direction. I find this contradiction to be reflective of Elysia, a character who exists only as a vessel for whatever the writer/story director thought would be cool, instead of making it mean anything.

#dazzling nova #honkai impact 3rd #raiden mei #kevin kaslana #fu hua #sorry to beat a dead horse but consider i casted revive #elysian realm

[bunnakit]

what shows are you currently watching? (shows that are airing weekly rn, no older shows)

for each one, list two things that you love about them and one thing you would like to see in future episodes!

ohohoo what a treat (finally getting to some of your amazing prompts anon, i assume its the same person but i apologize if im wrong)

Bake Me Please - I absolutely love the aesthetics of this show. They show off some of the most beautiful cakes and pastries and it's just gorgeous. I also love the way each person in the show is broken in one way or another; generational trauma, childhood trauma, dreams that feel out of reach, etc.

After my rant today I think we all know the one thing I want, NEED, to see is Shin apologize to Peach. I cannot stand the idea of Peach bearing all the emotional work for this relationship.

Cherry Magic 30 - So I'm coming at this from a place of knowing nothing about the originals. I'm really enjoying Karan just in general, his thoughtfulness, his care, all of it. He reminds me of a quote from episode 3 of The Last of Us: "Paying attention to things is how we show love." I'm also really enjoying the importance the show is putting on consent as well as Achi's care to make sure he isn't taking advantage.

I'm really going into this right now with no opinions, no theories, I'm just along for the ride. I hope we see some more cat thoughts, I guess.

Cooking Crush - I really wasn't sure if I was going to stick this one out. It's a little too goofy for my tastes but OffGun's chemistry is doing a lot of heavy lifting for me, so that's one of the things I'm enjoying. I'm also enjoying the playfulness of Ten and Prem and this cute courtship they have going on.

I hope Fire's mom explodes.

Last Twilight - You guys have seen my meta posts. I could wax poetic about this show all day long. Thus far I ADORE how they're treating Day's disability and showing how important him maintaining his agency is. I'm also really enjoying Mhok's perspective as a caretaker and the way he adapts and learns every day. I've been both - I'm currently disabled and I was a caretaker for five years. This show is so near and dear to my heart already.

I really hope we see what the hell is going on between Night and Day. Like, we have to, right?

Pit Babe - I'm an omegaverse bitch. I'm sorry, it's my guilty pleasure. One of the first things I do when I get the brainrot for something is go see if there are any good omegaverse fics (I'm very picky, we don't like misogyny or thinly veiled transphobia in this house, no thanks.) I'm enjoying seeing the worldbuilding of this show so far as well as each of the characters and their personalities. Everyone, even North and Sonic, feel like fully fleshed out people and I'm very much enjoying that.

I hope Way explodes - No, I hope we see them build more on the omegaverse aspect of things. I wanna see a man get pregnant. I also want to see a woman, just one woman, just a single one. Where are the women?

Playboyy - BOY HOWDY. Listen, I'm mostly watching this to avoid FOMO. I'm asexual, the sex is doing nothing for me really. The wet noises make me scream and throw my headphones off. I AM enjoying the mystery aspect of the plot a lot, I'm very curious where that is going. I'm also very much enjoying the exploration of different sexualities, like the hints that Soong and Zouey might be demisexual.

Obviously I want to know what the fuck happened to Nant, but I also just want to see more Prom. Also wanna see Aob become soft for Puen.

The Sign - My absolute beloved. I'm obsessed, I'm going to be obsessed forever I fear. The mythology is just fucking superb, the yearning is incredible, the action is great, the friendships phenomenal. I could go on and on about everything I love about this show. It's everything to me and I know I'm going to be a WRECK when it inevitably ends.

I can't wait for Phaya and Tharn to fuck, sure, but I can't wait for them to be in love. I can't wait to see them hold each other gently, look for reassurances in each other, and I hope they each regain at least some memories of their past selves and maybe how much they loved each other.

#anon my beloved #thank you so much for always giving me these delicious treats #bake me please #bake me please the series #cherry magic th #cooking crush #cooking crush the series #last twilight #last twilight the series #playboyy the series #pit babe the series #the sign #the sign the series #bunn asks

[piningintrovert]

Hi! I'm a mostly quiet follower admirer of your blog and I have no idea why I followed you but I like your blog, lot's of diversity and queer "stuff" and I kind of love it (Okay I love it a lot) I'm anonymlous because I'm kind of old, but I wanted to let you know I saw a gif or a question list maybe about some series called "The Sign" and it looked interesting (like young me would have devoured it if it came out in her time) and so I thought what the heck I'll check it out.

I found it on youtube, watched all of the ones they had (up to episode 5) and am now hooked. Is there a place to watch this and others like it that supports the actors? I mean free is nice but it doesn't pay the actors. I did do some research but google isn't helpful when it comes to services from around the world (is anyone surprised? Sacrasm intended). I can probably only afford one? So I was thinking of doing iQIYI, but I'm not sure? Where do you watch your content mostly? OR do you have recommendations for subscriptions services that might be better?

Also, any other shows you recommend?

Sorry for so many questions in one, and please feel free to ignore, I'm sure I'll figure it out.

Hi nonnie! Thank you so much following my blog; I'm glad that you are enjoying the chaos and content!

If your goal is to support the actors, YouTube is the best place to watch The Sign and other queer (Thai) shows like it because the episodes are released on YouTube by the official productions house. For example, you have IdolFactory which is the official production house for The Sign.

Then you have GMMTV, one of the largest, most prolific producers of Thai BL on YouTube followed by Studio Wabi Sabi, MeMindY, and Mandee just to name a few.

There are also "smaller" production houses like Star Hunter Entertainment, Dee Hup House, Dược sĩ Tiến Entertainment (Vietnamese), STRONGBERRY (Korean) and VIBIE STUDiO, O2 Production (Vietnamese), and Oxin Films (Pinoy).

So to answer your question, I watch most of my content on YouTube. And since you're just getting started, you will find more than enough content to keep you entertained there. However, if you are truly in the market for a subscription service for bl/queer content, I would recommend GagaOOLala. iQIYI does have a few gems (KinnPorsche, Laws of Attraction, Dead Friend Forever (airing), Blueming, Sing My Crush, La Pluie etc.) and the uncut versions of a few shows (Love in the Air, Wedding Plan, Bed Friend, Pit Babe etc.), but in my opinion, you would definitely get more variety (in terms of regions and genres) and bang for your buck with GagaOOLala.

For a more in-depth analysis on streaming services, I recommend reading this post by @absolutebl as it can help you make a more informed decision regarding the streaming service that would be the best fit for you.

And for recommendations, I'll give you Bad Buddy, Only Friends, Not Me, Like in the Movies, GAP, Ghost Host Ghost House, Lovely Writer, Secret Crush on You, Be My Favorite, and Moonlight Chicken. You can find the descriptions here and they're all on YouTube!

Hope this helps and feel free to stop by if you have any other questions 💜

#nonnie #rae replies #multi #recommendations

[respectthepetty]

hi! i just have to get something off my chest before i inevitably combust and perish! when kiseki was airing i saw you posting about tang yi from history 3 trapped still being stuck in jail (i never watched it) and got curious. so as any sensible person i went on a searching adventure through tumblr tags and figured out the show has open/ambiguous ending. "what's all the fuss about??" i wondered to myself. "i for one love well executed open endings!"

well let me tell you im eating my words now!! im sitting here looking at the shot of tang yi's back and the words THE END before me,sobbing and chanting LET MY BOY TANG YI OUT OF JAIL!!! HE DID NOTHING WRONG!!

all in all you were right and I'll never question your opinions again 🙏🏻 (also loved this show and all the couples so much i might actually pass away)

@buddhamethods, no no no. Question my opinions. I'm unhinged. I need to be humbled sometimes. Especially when it comes to Taiwanese BLs. I'm not reasonable about them.

Many people were fine with the ending of HIStory 3: Trapped but as a lover of "Be Gay, Do Crime," I wanted my boy to continue to Be Gay and Do Crime. Getting locked up was not on my BINGO card, mostly because he had already suffered enough.

It was BS!

His mom died. His adopted dad was awful. His mentor died. His biological dad died. His sister got a happy ending, but my boy . . .

Why did my man have to go to prison?! WHY?! I'm sure as a BL in 2019 (April-June 2019) airing during the time marriage equality was legalized in Taiwan (May 2019), BL Land thought it would be smart to show the masses that the trouble-making queers could be redeemed, but . . .

I WANT MY BADDIE BACK!

He did nothing wrong! NOTHING!

FREE TANG YI RIGHT NOW, TAIWAN!

Either Kiseki: Dear to Me 2 or HIStory 18: Freed is gonna deliver my man to me.

or else

#HIStory 3: Trapped #HIStory: Freed WHEN?! #Free Tang Yi RIGHT NOW! #What was the reason?! #And his man better be off the force #That force was corrupt #Be free

[ham-le-tii]

The french dub of Sonic Underground (1999) was better than the english one and here's why.

Here's a rant that no one asked for (and that probably no one will read in its entirety or at all), but I still wanted to write about it. I used to date a guy who said that the english dub of Sonic Underground was better than the french one and that is just inacceptable.

If you don't know what it is, Sonic Underground is an animated series made by both France and the United States in 1999 and was first aired in France in January, then the USA in August. It follows the adventures of Sonic and his siblings, Sonia and Manic, while they are trying to find their mother and also defeat the evil Robotnik who rules over their city. Each episodes features it's own original song. Even though this series wasn't really appreciated by Sonic fans, I personally loved it as a kid as it was one of the few series you could find for free on YouTube that was fully available in French back then (sadly, it doesn't seem to be anymore).

Now here are my arguments:

1. The jokes were funnier in French

Now, for anyone who speaks French as a first language, you know that's rarely the case. But for Sonic Underground, it just is. One exemple in particular just stuck with me, in episode 02:

There's this one moment where Sonic, Manic and Sonia find a cloak that look's like it could be their mother's. Then Sonic says that there was something wrong with it. It's then that Louvois (Sleet in English) shows up and, in the French dub, basically says like the absolute troll that he is : ''maybe it's because the label is in English''. Then the screen shows how, on the label it's written in English how the cloak is actually owned by Sleet. I just found little jokes like that so freaking funny, it's unbelievable. In the english dub, Sleet just boringly says that there's something wrong with the tag. Boring.

2. The songs sound better

This is entirely my own personal opinion, but I think that the songs in Sonic Underground sounded better in French. I just think that the songs rhymed better in French. A first exemple could be the intro song that, while similar, still sounded quite different. I liked the French version better, but I might just be biased on this one. It just sounds so dramatic, I love it.

The French version

The English version

Then there's my favorite song from this show. I really think that the French version of this song was done better than in English and that's something so freaking rare in dubs. From the same episode mentionned earlier, the song in French was called Fréquence copains, while, in English, it's Have you got the 4.1.1? To be honest, I have no clue what the 4.1.1 is. Still, I think it sounds better in French.

The French version

The English version

Something else that I discovered while searching videos to back up my claim for this rant is one song that, in French, is called Comme au temps des acadiens, while in English it's Let the good times roll. If you don't know who the Acadians are, they were Fench speaking people living In what was called Acadia, who later on mostly became Nova Scotia. After Britain won some territory over France, they took over Acadia and basically decided they didn't want the people already living there to stay there anymore. But it's not like Acadians could just go to France, by that time, the acadians people had been living there for quite a few generations and didn't really thought themselves as French people. They had their own identity. So Britain decided to clear out their houses so English people could live there and deported them towards the 13 colonies while also separating families so that they wouldn't keep their language or something (i'm going off from my high school history classes and museums on acadians in Nova Scotia, guys, this is what I basically remember). Many tried to go back to their homes in Acadia, but many were unsuccesful. In any case, here's the song:

French version

English version

3. The terrible choices for the voice actors (BASICALLY THE MOST IMPORTANT POINT I HAVE)

Here is my last point and also my most important one. I fully believe that the English dub of Sonic Underground wouldn't have been as terrible if it wasn't for that one decision. In the 90s, the established voice for Sonic in animated series was Jaleel White. He already voiced Sonic in Sonic the Hedgehog (1991), so for continuity's sake, it wasn't a bad choice to recast him in Sonic Underground. The problem came when it was decided that he would also voice Sonia and Manic. I guess for Manic, it's not too bad. The problem really came with Sonia. His voice as Sonia is what made the show unbearable for me to watch in English. I found it even worse when he had to sing with the high pitch weird voice of Sonia. It was just terrible. I wonder who thought THAT would be a good idea? Luckily, they didn't do that in the French dub. They actually casted three different people for the siblings. Sonic was voiced by Olivier Korol, Manic (and also Knuckles) was voiced by Philippe Bozo and Sonia was voiced by Patricia Legrand. And thank god for Patricia Legrand. I think her voice suited perfectly Sonia. Not only did she have a really nice singing voice, but her voice also suited perfectly her character who was a noble lady. Patricia Legrand made her character sound like she actually came from a higher class, which I think was really nice.

Here is some of my research :)

Sonic le Rebelle | Wiki Sonic The Hedgehog | Fandom

On another note, I've watched the entirety of Sonic Prime season 3 in one day. I liked it.

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic #sonic underground #sonic le rebelle #manic the hedgehog #sonia the hedgehog #french vs english dub #jaleel white #voice acting #sonic fandom #sonic series #sonic prime #i mentioned it so it's okay that I put it in the tags #Youtube

[strawberryfairi]

Synopsis✨: The story of how you catch heavy feelings for the hot photography student, Shuji Hanma…even though you already have the perfect (fake) boyfriend.

Pairings: Photography Student! Shuji Hanma X Dance Major! Black Fem 🤎 Reader (ANYONE CAN READ🧚🏾‍♀️) Content: Drama, angst, sneaking link, lots of cheating, some dark moments, unserious Shuji, controlling parents, forced relationships, romance, fighting, porn with a good plot vibes, intense sexual tension, etc (just find out the rest lol)

w.c: 4.4k💠 Released: Jan 5, 2024

Previous | Next Chapters Masterlist

2; NO FILTER 无滤镜

By the time you made it to the party, it had already been going on for an hour and a half. You were so over it at this point. You'd forgotten to even change out of your outfit when you got to the dorm so you're standing out front of this party in straight up sweatpants over your dance costume and basic all white air forces. At least you were serving face with your makeup look.

The music is blasting, and there's folks all over both outside and inside. The frat house is huge, a popular spot seeing as the parties here are always the best...and the wildest. There's always plenty of juicy stories after a night at the frat house.

When you walk inside you immediately start looking around for familiar faces. It was jam packed, making you slightly scrunch your face as you weave through the multitude of people. You searched around the first floor, looking through the dance floor in the living room, the halls where mostly people were kissing or whatever, then you finally find Ken in the kitchen area.

You abruptly stop, just as you were about to call out to him, noticing him and a few other guys from the team all being crowded around by a bunch of girls. Mostly cheerleader girls and their groupie friends to be exact.

Ken had one hand leaning on the counter next to some girl, basically caging her in as the other hand poured some Vodka into her mouth, cheering her on along with everyone else. Your heart dropped, face heating up rapidly as a mix of confusion, anger, and embarrassment seeped through you. What the hell was going on here?!

It also doesn't go unnoticed that some of the other guys on the team definitely have their arms around the waists of girls that were not their girlfriends.

Then after she finishes downing what he poured, she leans her head back upright, then randomly pulls him into a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss. You gasp eyes going wide. You're only frozen for a few seconds before you storm fully into the kitchen. In your opinion it took Ken a little too long to finally come to his senses, pulling away from the kiss with his eyes widened in shock just as he sees you coming over angrily.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" You yell, pushing past everyone to stand directly in front of the two.

"Oh shit..." He mumbles under his breath.

"Hello?! Why's it quiet now?! I just asked you a question!" You outburst, snapping your fingers in front of their faces. This girl was vaguely familiar to you, but your mind was really in no condition to try and figure out where right now. She was a brunette, long haired girl with a butterfly tattoo sat right between her breasts. Of course she wore the perfect top to show it off.

"You didn't answer any of my texts. I thought you weren't even here." He says randomly. What the hell does that have to do with a whole other ass chick's lips on him?!

"I was still at the stadium before you left me. Why didn't you wait for me like you said?" You grit out.

Awkwardly, the girl slips her way passed the two of you, going over to where everyone else had also awkwardly migrated to. "The guys were rushing me, I didn't wanna hold them up-

"So you leave your girlfriend instead?! I had to walk all the way back to the dorms then Uber here, Ken! You were supposed to be my ride!" You rant.

"Hey hey, lower your damn voice." He narrows his eyes, tone actually having the audacity to be stern.

"Who-I know you ain't talkin' to me like I'm some child! Lower my voice?!" You scrunch your face up, only becoming angrier by the second.

"First of all, you left me when you said you were gonna wait, then I finally get here and I catch your sorry ass with some other girl all over you?! Kissing you?! Who the fuck even are you?! What happened in the last hour I've been away?! Like, what did I miss; enlighten me please!" You rant, throwing your hands up in frustration. At this point there was a good chunk of people just watching what was going on, whispers and murmurs started sparking up in the vicinity.

Ken clenches his jaw in annoyance, pissing you off yet again.

"I'm sorry, alright?! I'm a little crossed right now, and I didn't expect her to do something like that." He argues.

"Ohhhh ok, right right. So, we're just a little crossed and didn't expect her to do that. My thing is, why was she even that close to you in the first place? What are you pouring Vodka into her mouth for?" Your tone is blade sharp as you throw question after question his way.

You weren't necessarily yelling anymore but you were clearly seeing red. You swear Ken must've lost his mind in the last hour, because this is so unlike him. It's like he's completely forgotten who both of your parents were, like he forgot if they find out about something like this both of your careers could be over before they even start.

"Babe, babe, I apologized already. What else do you want me to do?! I didn't know she was gonna kiss me!" He argues, throwing his hands up exasperatedly.

"How 'bout not put yourself in a position to even have something like that happen! This don't even make no sense, Ken! You just straight up let her kiss you, like, I watched you hesitate! Had I not come over here would you have even stopped?!" Your eyes start to well up with tears, voice shaking slightly as you try to maintain your angry demeanor.

You hated that he wasn't even trying to comfort or reassure you or anything. He has the nerve to just try to brush it under the rug like it wasn't that big of a deal. You knew for a full fact had this been the other way around he'd probably have caused the loudest riot, and your parents would for sure find out.

He doesn't say a word, just watches you as you try to keep your composure together. No 'let me fix this, babe', no nothing. Sure the two of you are a fake couple with no real feelings of love towards each other, but he could at least act like he cares that you're upset. You sure would. Then to make matters worse, if rumors about this starts to spread, your mom will definitely hear about it.

"Tch." You push passed him and quickly head out of the kitchen, avoiding looking at everyone staring as you storm out.

Embarrassed couldn't even begin to cover how you felt right now. You couldn't believe he disrespected you and the relationship like this, and then went as far as to give that half-assed apology as if that was acceptable! He could've at least tried to come after you when you walked out of the kitchen! You sniffle, trying to calm yourself down as you figure out somewhere fairly secluded to go.

You're back in the living room dance floor area now, the most crowded part of the whole house. You've been to enough parties here to know all of the avoid spots. The living room: where everyone comes to dance as the DJ set is there, the basement: x activities that shall not be named, the balcony upstairs: all the potheads love it there, the bathrooms: illegal drugs...that's all that needs to be said, and the bedroom: other x activities that shall not be named. Even though that seemed like the entire house, there were a few spots left you could go.

Weaving through the multitude of people, you stay close to the wall, heading through the living room and straight out of the sliding glass door. This frat house, as stated before, is very huge, big enough to have a large pool area outside that you can get to from the living room's sliding glass door.

You quickly speed walk to the poolside area, then plop yourself down on one of the pool chairs just as the tears started flowing down your cheeks.

You had fought so hard to keep your makeup looking nice, trying not to cry, but it just seemed like tears were inevitable tonight. Using the sleeve of your costume you gently dab your face, not wanting anything to smear so you don't end up giving the Joker from Batman.

You take a deep breath, exhaling through your nose as you lay back against the pool chair, looking up at the stars somberly. What has this night come to? Everything was so great, then it just...wasn't. Maybe losing your moms gift to you was a sign, 'cause right after that things took a hard left turn.

You felt like you only had a brief moment to even take in your huge accomplishment, now it's like you didn't even do it. This was supposed to be your celebration, your big night with Ken.

We'll see each other tonight, baby. We'll have the whole night actually....

"Liar..." You whisper to yourself bitterly, closing your eyes as you let out an exasperated sigh, feeling completely drained of energy at this point. Oddly enough the sound of the muffled music coming from inside was starting to become almost soothing, mixing harmoniously with the sounds of crickets and echoed conversations. You could actually fall asleep to this...

"You get lost or somethin'? The party's inside."

You jump with a loud yelp, almost falling out of the pool chair as a deep, male voice cuts into the silence. You look around frantically before your eyes fall on some random dude laying in one of the pool chairs to the left of you. He was about four chairs away from you, fully laid out with a cigarette between his fingers, one eye open as he looks over at you lazily. He was dressed pretty basic for a party, nothing but a white v-neck top and jeans. But who were you to talk though...

"Who-who-?! You're sayin' am I lost like you're not out here also." You narrow your eyes, looking him over with a scrutinizing gaze.

Now who the hell is this dude talkin' to?! You weren't really sure since you had your eyes closed earlier, but you figured you were definitely out here first.

"Got me there." He murmurs with a shrug, then pauses before speaking again. "You that dancer girl? The one with the anklet?" He asks slowly, before taking a fairly long drag from his cigarette.

"Wait, the anklet? You seen my anklet?!" At this you sit up completely, eyes wide as you impatiently wait for his answer. He opens both of his eyes finally, then reaches into his left back pocket, taking out your gold anklet. You gasp like a fish out of water, jumping up to your feet and practically running over to him.

"Oh my god! I was looking all over for this! How'd you find it?!" You ramble excitedly. You probably looked like a happy golden retriever with the way you're demeanor completely lit up.

"I didn't. I caught it when it flew off your ankle. Woulda hit me in the face if I didn't catch it." He says with a slight grin, chuckling at the memory of being attacked by your jewelry.

"You caught it?! Is it broken?! Lemme see it!"

He hands you your anklet, letting you observe it and check the clasp. Everything seemed fine with it, but you made a mental note to maybe take it in to a jeweler to get it checked out sometime just in case. "Well, thank you for..catching it." You chuckle lightly, sitting down on the pool chair next to him so you could hook it back around your ankle, this time making sure it was done right.

"'S nothin'. What's your name?"

You tell him your name just as you finish clasping your anklet. "Pretty. I'm Shuji Hanma." He says coolly, taking another drag of his cigarette.

"Thanks." You say with an uncharacteristically bashful laugh. Before you hadn't really been paying too much attention to what this guy looks like, but now that you were sitting up closer, you could really look at him.

Long story short, Hanma's gorgeous, with those honey brown eyes and that deep, sensual voice. He has a single gold earring in his left ear, a unique drop design. He looks pretty tall, yet he's also very muscular, maybe a basketball player you think.

Your eyes trail over to his large veiny hands, with tattoos of some sort of Chinese writing on the back of them, and his long, slender fingers. His hair is fairly short, black, and tussled messily to perfection with blonde highlights in the front that hangs slightly over his eyes. Your face instantly began to heat up as your eyes selfishly continued to drink him in.

You don't smoke, but there's something about the way he's so casually taking those drags, something about his full, pink lips and the way they blow the smoke into the air. He's so effortlessly sexy, and from the way he seems to carry himself, he must know it too.

"Havin' a good time over there eye fuckin' me?" He asks smugly, a small smirk making it's way across his perfect lips as he takes a drag.

"I-I wasn't eye-fucking you!" You stammer, voice unnaturally higher pitched as your face completely set on fire, embarrassed that he caught you staring. 

"No? Just thinkin' in my direction or somethin'?" He teases, blowing smoke in front of him as he looks at you with his head tilted inquisitively. You purse your lips in a frown, unsure of a good comeback, only furthering your embarrassment. He let's out a breathy chuckle, shoulders shaking just slightly.

"Doesn't bother me, doll, you can fuck me with those pretty eyes all you want. It's better in real life though." He shrugs plainly, full on smirking.

Your jaw hits the floor dumbstruck, blinking multiple times as you process what he just said. Nobody has ever talked to you like this before, especially not someone you've just met. It's so bold and nonchalant...and sexy. "Again, I wasn't eye-fucking you. I was just...lookin' at your tattoos." You lie, well, it was partially true.

"Oh yeah? You like 'em?" He asks with a particularly seductive dip in his tone, looking you straight in the eyes. His gaze is so intense you couldn't help but look away, too fearful you'd be sucked in and swallowed whole if you looked any longer.

"Well yeah. I don't know what they mean though." You shrug plainly, hoping to mask the shyness creeping its way up to the surface. He sits up from the pool chair, turning to face you and leaning onto his knees, getting fairly close into your personal space. You don't dare back away, holding your ground as he shows you the back of his hands, his cigarette resting between his fingers in his right hand. 

"They say sin and punishment'" He says lowly, showing you each hand with a proud yet mischievous looking grin on his face.

"Oh..." You murmur sheepishly. The way he explained that made you squeeze your thighs together, visibly swallowing as yours eyes flicker from his hands to his eyes. Hanma's lips curve into an almost devious looking smirk, loving the obvious effect he was having on you.

You felt stuck, like a mouse trapped in a corner by a cat. It's the way his eyes so boldly swallow you up without a single care if you notice or not. You had to change the subject quick, lighten things up before you unintentionally set yourself on fire.

"So...I'm assuming we go to the same school. What's your major?" You ask as pleasantly and coolly as possible.

"Digital photography." He replies, leaning back a bit.

"Oh really?! I was not expecting that. You're the first photography major I've met so far here." You say the last part more to yourself. It seems today is actually the most time you've spent around the photography and journalism majors thanks to that interview this morning.

"There's not too many of us I think." He shrugs before taking a slight pause. "You seem like too good'a dancer to be doing it as a side thing." He raises a brow slightly.

"Oh yeah, I'm one of the dance majors for sure." You laugh softly.

"You looked good out there during the halftime show. I got a lot'a nice shots."

As soon as he said that it clicked how he'd be able to catch your anklet. The photographers were the only people able to be on the field during the halftime show, so of course he caught it. "Thanks! I hope I can see them at some point." You smile softly, unconsciously fiddling with your hands on your lap.

He goes quiet for a moment, looking to the side in thought. "You could see 'em now if you want."

"What d'you mean?"

"My camera's in my car out front. Wanna see 'em?" He offers again.

You bite the inside of your lip, brows slightly furrowed. Sure going into this guy's car to look at pictures seemed innocent, but at the exact same time, this isn't just any guy. He's gorgeous, with those tempting eyes that makes your mind fog whenever you look at them for more than a second. Hanma's dangerous for you, he's way too attractive to be playin' around.

You're taken, and even though you're beyond pissed at Ken, that's unfortunately who your man is.

However, no matter how loudly the alarm bells rang in your head.... "Yeah." You nod, feeling your heart skip a beat in a mind-fuzzing blend of anxious excitement.

And as if he couldn't get any more attractive, slowly your head lifts as you watch him stand to his full height, towering over you like a damn skyscraper.

Lord have mercy on your soul.....

Hanma leads you around the house from outside, avoiding all the weaving and dipping through people, and straight to his car, and damn, even his car is good looking. A shiny black Dodge Hellcat with dark tinted windows sat there proudly in front of the party house.

You wanted to facepalm at this point. This was just getting ridiculous now. "Hang on a sec." He murmurs, unlocking the car and opening the passenger side, grabbing the camera that was sitting there in its case. He leaves the door open, helping you in to which you utter a small "Thank you." "Mhm." He nods, closing the door and getting in at the drivers side. The car smelled just like him, cigarettes and that wildly intoxicating cologne he's wearing.

You were pretty sure he didn't feel the same, with the way he's sitting there all cool and chill while doing whatever he's doing with that expensive looking camera, but you were inwardly shaking in your boots. The silence felt so heavy, and you weren't sure how to sit or where to look, so you just fiddled with the sequins on your costume, reminding yourself that your boyfriend was just right inside the frat house.

His cigarette was gone you realized, just as he turned to look at you again, the camera roll finally showing the pictures from tonight. "Here, just hit the arrow to go to the next one." He instructs smoothly, handing you the Canon camera. His slender fingers brush against yours as you grab the device, sending immediate shockwaves down your spine from the back of your neck.

Your jaw nearly hits the floor as you look at the first picture on the screen. You looked so flawless you almost didn't even recognize yourself. Though the day had been so stressful, on the field you looked like a dancing goddess, the costume and makeup sparkling under the stadium lights like some kind of ethereal glow.

"Oh my gooooosh! This looks-this is so..." You trail off unable to really find the right descriptive word, your mouth still hanging open slightly. Hanma chuckles breathily, watching you look at the picture in amusement. You take one last long look at the first one, then go on to the next one.

It was just as beautiful as the previous picture. You were in the middle of your intro solo still, he'd caught you with both hands on your hips and a wide smile, your right leg shifted in front of the left making you look particularly statuesque.

Your heart grew warmer and warmer with each picture you went through, not a single one was a flop, not even a little bit. These are the types of pictures your parents would pay hundreds just to keep and show off to their coworkers and neighbors. "Wanna see my favorite?" He murmurs, cutting into the silence. "Your favorite? Sure." You hand the camera back, curious as to which picture he'd show you.

He clicks the arrow through about seven more pictures, going past it for a second before he finally went back, his lips curving upwards slightly when he saw it. "This one. This is the one."

You let out a small gasp, leaning over the armrest as he shows you the picture. It was-no-you were stunning, and you knew exactly which part of the dance that was too. You'd just finished the moment of holding the split during Emma's brief solo. Then as you come up from the ground you'd enter into a spin and stop with your leg pointed outwards, your left hand on your hip as the right is outstretched, and your fingers point down and outwards.

The angle he took the shot in made it seem like you were looking right at the camera, it caught your eyes perfectly. Your expression was fierce due to the part of the song it was at, and your hair was in the middle of flowing with the breeze.

"This is so beautiful." You smile, almost wanting to tear up. For the first time the whole night you finally felt like you had a chance to bask in that half time show moment. Everything had moved so fast afterwards, there was no time to stop and look at posts or pictures. You knew for a fact though that peoples posts on their stories had nothing on Hanma's professional pictures. "You're real easy to take shots of. Every move you made was perfect." He says, his tone strikingly serious.

"Thanks." You chuckle bashfully, looking to the side as you try to force your heart to stop doing that annoying fluttering.

Easy girl, calm down, he's just being nice. It's just a compliment. Think about Ken, just think about Ken...

Hanma goes through a few of the pictures to see for himself before he speaks again. "Y'know, you make a good muse." He says softly, eyes still fixed on the pictures he's sifting through. "A muse? Like, I'm inspirational?" You tilt your head to the side.

"Yeah, somethin' like that." He chuckles a little. Setting the camera on his lap, he looks you over, up and down and back up, making your face turn hot instantly as you shift uncomfortably in the passenger seat. "What?" You murmur, furrowing your brows in a slight pout. You were sure you'd never be able to get used to his piercing eyes and the way they trail all over you so boldly.

"I've had this idea for a project I wanna do, but I haven't been able to find the right model until you." He explains, looking back up into your eyes.

"Me?! Hold up, you want me to model for you?" You gawk, your face contorted into a look of pure shock. His lips curve into a wide, excited grin, eyes almost sparkling as he seems to have made up his mind.

"I do. You're perfect." He nods, his voice velvety smooth, just like honey.

Again you fold under the sound of his voice and sensual eyes, looking at your hands now nervously fiddling with themselves in your lap. "I-I don't have really any experience with any modeling. I mean, dancers do portraits and stuff but...what kind of modeling do you want me to do?" You stammer bashfully, trying yet failing to hold any sort of confident eye contact with him.

"Nothin' you wouldn't be able to do easily. I need a full body, half naked silhouette of you; something in dark lighting." He says, a bit vaguely in your opinion.

A half naked silhouette in dark lighting...with a guy like him?! Now the alarms were really flashing, but at the same time, it was for professional, career related things. There's no harm in helping someone out with their project, right? You knew all about the frustrations of trying to gather people to help bring your vision to life, so you figured why not help him out.

"Uhhh, I mean, I guess I could do it. Is it an urgent project?" You raise a brow a bit, looking over at him briefly.

"If by urgent you mean for a class then no. This is more of a personal portfolio kind'a thing." He shrugs.

A personal thing? So it's no particular guidelines...

"K. Well, let me know when you wanna do it. I'll find some time in my schedule." You nod.

"Perfect. Lemme see your phone, angel." He purrs, holding his hand out lazily. You try to ignore his flirtatious tone and that name he just called you, reaching in your sweatpants pocket. You take out your phone and unlock it, already knowing to pull up your contacts app. Another jolt shoots down your spine as your fingers make contact again while you hand him your phone. "Cool." He smirks, satisfied that you opened to the app without him having to ask, putting his number and name in.

You went and sent him a text, "Heyyy" with two exclamation points so he could save your number in his own phone.

Why'd it feel so wrong to have his number in your phone? This was just a business thing, a collaboration, right? If you weren't so attracted to him it wouldn't feel like nearly as much of a problem as it does now, and maybe if he wouldn't call you angel or doll with that sexy ass voice, that'd probably make it feel better.

Then if Ken hadn't pissed you off beyond belief, it wouldn't feel like you were doing this out of spite, hanging with some guy you just met at a party since Ken wanted to spend his time with another girl and his sports buddies. But you have no intention of cheating though, so...technically there's nothing wrong, right?

There's nothing wrong about this....

A/N🧚🏾‍♀️: Ooool, what y'all bouta get into puttin' dat man number in y'all phoooone?!?! Teehee, hope y'all enjoyed and I'll have the next chapter up soon! It's finna go DEEOWN next chapter okaaay! Like, comment, reblog please, love you all💖

#shuji hanma #hanma #shuji #draken x reader #shuji hanma x reader #ken ryuguji x reader #black fem reader #strawberryfairi #a mile away㊙️ #shuji hanma smut #college au #black female reader #its complicated #shuji x reader #shuji hanma x reader smut #shuji hanma x black fem reader #strawberryfairi🧚🏾‍♀️ #strawberryfairimasterlist

[lurkingteapot]

2023 post round-up/summary

Lovely @twig-tea tagged me here, so I'll try my hand.

I'd abandoned tumblr for about 4? 5? years 2016ish through 2020, had a short stint with it again in 2020, took peeks and vehemently disagreed with much of what I saw in 2021-2022, and grudgingly settled back in in 2023. I wasn't going to interact. I wasn't.

Jan-April: *crickets* I was being strong!

Then, I saw people moaning about how they'd learn Thai if only it was on Duolingo, and you know how spite can be funnelled into positivity? I did that! Result:

May

Popular: Free Thai Language Learning Resources, most popular by a landslide. This pleases me greatly, as I put a lot of work into it and always hope more people start picking up this language.

Favourite: maybe my thoughts on Ming, piggybacking off @kenmakaashi's post?

June

Popular: my musings on translation and how it relates to fannish reception of media, which was my most popular post of the year and 'broke containment', if only in a very small way. Some of the additions in the tags and reblogs are fantastic, do go have a look if you like!

Favourite: toss-up between my attempt at showing a parallel between a silly moment in Our Skyy 2 x BBS and a scrapped shot from BBS proper and this rant about Romanisations of Thai and why G**gle translate is the devil (that bit is in the conversation downthread), which let me meet @plantsarepeopletoo.

July

Popular: Summary of James Welker's 2006 essay "Beautiful, Borrowed, and Bent: “Boys’ Love” as Girls’ Love in Shōjo Manga"

Favourite: the offerings are slim here … let's go with the one in which I once more was salty about the way folks talk about BL

August

Popular: Only Friends' Ray isn't just The Drunkard, but also The One Who's basically Given Up On Himself, as per his title card (this one was so popular it got stolen and reposted – without credit or permission – to twitter 🙃)

Favourite: Thinking about Drama, the Romance genre, and tropes, and how those relate to our perception of BL (good additions from various folks in the notes; conversation with @visualtaehyun in reblogs and @twig-tea in the replies).

September

Popular: IFYLITA Ep 6 poem context notes

Favourite: toss-up between complaining about badly machine translated content in Love in Translation and musing on the name of Khun Yai's favourite bar

October

Popular: my long-winded answer to @zimmbzon's ask "Hi, how would a non-binary person (me) get around the binary gender rules and vocab in Thai?"

Favourite: uhhh … maybe my musings on honorific translations in kimi ni wa todokanai? (yes, technically a reblog from sideblog, shh)

November

Popular: most popular was this throwaway therapy vent containing food for thought and while I guess this meme is mostly fannish I'm linking it anyway because it's my blog and I'll cry if I want to (or something)

Favourite: when I called out the resemblance between the Last Twilight trailer and Intouchables (2011). Literally no one cared, but then @my-rose-tinted-glasses independently came in strong with receipts as soon as the actual first episode aired and made me feel validated af.

December

Popular: Why I'm pretty sure Last Twilight's "fried rice/false rice" joke was funnier in Thai

Favourite: the saga of the songs in Ep 4 of Last Twilight

I didn't do any round-up posts, but I'll include the other category @twig-tea added:

Five other posts that I want to highlight because I can:

BL Favourites Tag Game (July 2023)

Link to fujoshi.info with information on WHY you should check out that site if you're interested in having an informed opinion on BL and the genre's history.

contemporary issues in Thailand as mentioned in Only Friends ep 1

Thoughts on code-switching in Step by Step

Reply to @mynameisnotthepoint's comment-via-ask on my anti viki rant

I'm not going to tag anyone because I'm completely lost – I was mostly off tumblr for nearly three weeks; if you made a post like this you'd like me to see, please link me/tag me! <3

#2023 roundup #link dump #self promo (of sorts) #my nonsense

[short-black-diamond]

MHA Headcannons, part 2

Part one

This is a headcannon series, some of what I'm thinking/writing about may be true, but not all is. Thank you for your understanding.

---

Let's talk about Sero and Deku in this one. Sero, who always likes to goof around with Kaminari, Mina, Jirou, Kirishima and Bakugo. And Deku, who likes to study with Iida, Uraraka, Tsuyu and Shoto. Let's talk about them.

Sero Hanta, Cellophane, or just Sero, is a very nice and chill dude, but I think that he is often being looked at as some 'plain' guy. Sure, he might've flirted with a few people here and there, but it was mostly smalltalk they did. I guess he was more like a tape dispenser than a real person to them.

I often think about that maybe, Sero also feels as if he's being treated like an object, mainly because of his quirk, but I also think that he's being taken advantage of pretty often too. For example, he and Denki like to ogle at pretty girls, right?

Well, some p(r)etty girls like to use him for his quirk or money or for him to run some errands and then dissappear out of thin air. Maybe because of that, he stays cautious around girls in general.

I also don't think that he meant it when he compared Yaoyorozu's eating habits for producing more things to pooping. I think he was just muttering his thoughts out loud and was being blunt. But he didn't really deserve that punch from Jirou.

Another thing I'd like to say is that he could be bi- or pansexual, why? Because he likes hanging out with both boys and girls and doesn't mind it. He also enjoyed being carried like a princess by Deku.

...

Speaking of Deku, he may have the exact problem, being called plain by Uraraka and all. I think that he got bullied not only by Bakugo, but also by many girls.

For example, Izuku never really talked to girls except his mother, so he had quite a lot of crushes to the girls in his or other classes. Too bad they didn't like him, too bad he didn't have a quirk back then.

So, they pulled pranks on him, laughing at him when he wanted to confess to somebody. "eeeeeww"ing when he tried to compliment them. So, Izuku gave up.

I also headcannon that Izuku tries to be as polite as possible towards his female classmates, and trying not to overstep any boundaries. Even around Uraraka, who is one of his best friends, he tries to be as polite as possible. In my opinion, he doesn't really see Uraraka how she is. He may be bracing himself. Counting the days until she- or any other girl he has grown friends- makes fun of him. So he doesn't really do anythign except trying to keep that 'friendship'.

He still often thinks that he is looking weird and stuff like that, wanting to just have somebody who is nice and sweet, not judging by looks or icks, just the personality. uthem a chance you wouldn't regret it. :)

...

#deku #deku mha #deku bnha #izuku x reader #bnha izuku #midoriya izuku #izuku angst #izuku midoriya #izuku mydoria #izuku midoria x reader #izuku #sero x reader #sero x reader bnha x reader #sero x y/n #sero headcanons #deku headcanons #bnha angst #mha angst #bnha x reader #mha x reader

[therhythmafterthesummer]

If the wereroomies gfs were wolves what do you think their role/subgender would be? Please don’t take this as a “hey please turn them”. In my mind it’s an AU based off wereroomies where the entire society are werewolves.

my thoughts down here so ignore if you want

personally I think I feel like pretty mum would be either an alpha with beta tendencies or beta with alpha tendencies. She’s just so Mother and Lady that she has to have alpha somewhere. THE BEST SCENT OMG. She beats Chan in races, both human and wolf forms, allllll the time. Shares any catches she gets

kitten would be omega through and through. In my eyes, she is the definition of hyperfemininity. That wolf would want to be primped, preened, and adored. Minho’s connection with his wolf is still a little wonky but like when his omega looks and smells like that, I don’t know how he functions.

omg they would also have the prettiest wolf forms too. Kitten is probably the littlest wolf and next to Min omg the size. Omg if she was calico colored, so precious. Pretty would be good size, still smaller than all the alphas, like Seungmin size probs. A really nice grey and cream coat with a black tip on her tail

this ask sent my mind into overdrive, because i have thought about this before, and i'm glad i can talk about it sdkjfhsdkjfhsdkjfsdiufh

i love love love your takes, btw! i think they're very accurate, although they don't totally reflect what i've been thinking, i still like them a lot aaaaaaaa

i'm gonna put a cut here bc i'm about to RAMBLE

so, i have changed pretty mum's possible designation so many times.... for me she could be literally anything KJHSDFKFHJSDF but, for now, i have settled on omega with alpha tendencies. However, hers would present VERY differently to Autumn's. her alpha tendencies present mostly on her strong will, and in her leadership skills, more than in her "dominance", if that makes sense. she's very opinionated, and will call you out on your bullshit and do things her way all the time just because she wants them to be done right. like you said, she's very Mother, so of course she's a great leader, too.

now, that Mother-ness in her is also part of her omega qualities. she was just born to be pack mum, you know? and it kinda makes sense, considering she's Chris' true mate. even in this universe, they're soulmates, of course.

i do agree that her wolf form would probably be much bigger than the average omega, which is also part of her alpha traits. and also, because i think it could be a good parallel to her human body and her being plus-size/chubby/etc, y'know? it's such an important part of her character, i feel like it's good that it translates to her wolf form.

with that being said, how do you think Chris and her met each other??? i feel like she'd be part of a different pack, and they'd meet randomly while they're in their wolf forms during a run or something... i can imagine Big Scary Alpha Wolf Chris seeing pretty drinking water from a stream and suddenly his heart rate spikes and the scent of fresh flowers hits him full force.

like, imagine pretty turns around and sees him and is also completely shocked because of the sudden smell of sea air and the huge, very clearly alpha wolf tilting his head to the side and his ears twitching as he takes her in, omg...

Chris would probably walk closer, tentatively to not scare her because he's very much aware that he's huge and scary, but ofc pretty mum doesn't feel threatened at all. and they'll just smell each other for a bit and rub their necks together and and and.... this is so cute, i wish you could see how it's playing out in my head.

idk for some reason pretty will have to leave very quickly and Chris wouldn't have had the time to ask her anything, so he'll spend weeks looking for this wolf, dreaming of her scent and her pretty coat. until one day he's just walking with idk changbin and jisung, and pretty will walk past him and he'll be almost winded by the smell of her scent.

of course he's turning back around, and of course she's already looking at him with wide eyes, and of course she's wearing a pretty sundress. totally the prettiest girl he's ever seen and he just quickly takes a pen out of his bum bag and takes her hand and scribbles his number on it like "hey, i'm Chris, i know i look totally insane, but here's my number. text me, or call me, or anything. if you feel like it, of course" and he'll just LEAVE because he'd be so embarrassed that he'd just done all that JKDHFSDUOFHIFUHWEIFUHSDJ

anyway, of course pretty will text him and they'll start getting to know each other and and and.... sigh.... you get where i'm going with this.

i'm obsessed with this, i won't be able to stop thinking about it for a long time skjdhfiushfseiufhsdf

BUT ANYWAY, now to kitten.

i also really like your take of kitten as a full omega, but i have her down as a beta with omega tendencies. like, people think she's an omega but she's not fully an omega, you know? i also like the idea of jimitten being the trio of designations, if that makes sense... an alpha, a beta, and an omega, all of which have beta somewhere within their traits dsjkfhskjdfhsidfj

she can be both very dominant and very submissive regardless of the setting, she's very multifaceted.

i do agree with the hyperfeminity thing. she'd be tiny for a beta werewolf, and her calico coat, omg. i feel like minho would give her the "kitten" nickname not only because of her coat, but also because she's got this odd habit of grooming herself like a cat.

in this universe, of course she and minho were childhood friends still. of course they both would still be the "Idiots to Lovers" trope incarnate, and of course they'd have jisung as their third musketeer.

they still met while minho was trying to save a litter of kittens, and she still adopted sir percival bc that's Her Child Now.

imagine the snuggle piles, omg. the three wolves and sir percival......

i love this. i love you for sending this ask and making me think about this more in depth, and i love your takes, for real sdkjfhsiuhfweif

#anon #ask #wereroomies ask #wereroomies headcanons

[the-east-art]

i’d love to hear your thoughts on rebirth!!! i ended up liking the ending quite a lot so i’m always curious to hear from people it didn’t resonate with /gen

Alright! One person said they wanted to hear so here is a long post of some of my thoughts of FFVII Rebirth. Full of spoilers and probably pretty all over the place! I'll put it all under the cut :3

So first of all, my experience with Rebirth was mostly good. Like I really loved some of the areas it expanded, some of the changes they made, and many of the choices they made I either enjoyed or could see why they made that decision and was okay with it. I would also genuinely love to hear what you liked about it!

However some of the changes they made were, in my opinion, really REALLY bad decisions. The choice to change Nibelheim is really weird to me. In my experience when I played the original mostly blind, the gaslighting of the location was really spooky. Because it makes you question BOTH Tifa and Cloud - they both remember it burning, but then their memories of the incident don't line up. So which one is wrong, or are they both wrong? It's really interesting and I'm sad they got rid of that whole aspect. Many people have said this but chopping off Shinra manner was also super frustrating to me - the place is so big and spooky and SO iconic that to change it felt really weird. The game bad been so accurate up to that point (I literally called where you could find Piko the chocobo because he was relatively where he was in the original) that it felt all the more awkward that they altered it so much. The hidden staircase for instance is really iconic and just kinda not there, and I always liked the fact that they slept there the week that Sephiroth was in the basement.

The other part that I didn't like was, uh, all of the last chapter. Okay so I was disappointed that they didn't have Cloud beat up Aerith because in my mind it's such an important and shocking moment, but I kinda knew they didn't have the guts to do it tbh, so whatever. But to take out like ALL of the Ancients city???? To take out ALL of the traveling around with Aerith when she is gone but not dead? That is crazy to me. That last section felt so rushed and so disappointing. I was discussing with my twin how much more interesting it would be if they did it like the original OR if they really want Cloud to be comatose, to have you play as the team minus Aerith and Cloud to get to the lost city place. Then you would really feel the weight and gravity of what has happened.

The multiverse I'm just not a fan of. It really blows this story wider than I think it needs to be, and it takes Aerith from this girl doing her best to like, an omniscent god fighting against like the forces of evil? Which I mean she's Sephiroths' character foil so like I get it, but I don't like it. It's a bit of homestuck syndrome where when there's too many versions of a character or of a scenario it gets hard for me to be attached to any particular one anymore. Very much 'we got spares in the back' kind of idea. I DID like it kind of at first - mostly in the idea that there is a version of Midgar that doesn't belong to any universe, and instead like collects strays from different universes. Like it's implied that our Marlene ended up there, and our Biggs, but a different Zack. So the idea of these characters ending up in the in between was interesting to me, and versions of Cloud and Aerith being there. I thought that was nice, but then it opens up to like a billion different universes and I was like, ugh, too much. (You knowwhat would make this better? If it was a timeloop instead, just saying).

Cloud being extra fucked up now though I like. Like this boy accidentally fractured his mind into twelve different universes and is talking to the air and everyone else is just like.... uh.... okay.

WHich! I'm frustrated we never get the team talking to each other about Cloud or confronting him. During Temple of ancients he's like super fucked up, but you get the vibe that they're all like 'bigger fish to fry, we'll address it later' but I'd like to see them talk to each other or to Cloud about his crazy behavior. (again if they had you play as the rest of the team while Cloud was comatose this could fit there)

I also have mixed feeling about Zack being this like narratives special little boy? Again like Aerith it blows him a little out of proportion, and in my opinion feels kind of awkward when he shows up the last fight just cuz he's the narratives fave. I mean I LOVE Zack and I think there's a version of it that could work better, but I don't think this was it.

I am super curious what they plan to do about Holy? Like it's implied that Aerith in an alternate universe (or her ghost in the lifestream?) is just gonna hang back and uh give it another go? Or maybe she lied to Cloud so that he would leave her behind??? I'm VERY curious because her prayer didn't work.

Oh and this is a nit-pick, but I deffo think they are going the angle that Cait Sith isn't sentient in this? Like he never mentions that the Caits' are different, and that the one that died really did die, and he's a different one. I think they did sections of his character well (you deffo get the feeling that he isn't necessarily backstabbing either team, but trying to figure out how to be on BOTH teams. The way he very softly and with concern tell Tseng to be careful was really good) but the after his death was flubbed a bit, cuz now it just makes him feel like, replaceable? I was really hoping they could add more to Cait cuz he doesn't do really well in the original, and they still kinda missed it to me. If they aren't making Cait sentient then like I want to see more of Reeve, or show Reeve like facing backlash over Caits death whether mentally or physically having to frantically finish another Cait ( I don't think they're gonna go the Inspire route but god I wish they would)

Uhhhh I think that's most of my thoughts? I mean between me and my sister tag teaming the game we played probably around 100 hours, and I am gonna play more cuz it is fun and the characters are good and tehre's a LOT being done well. I just like, I felt like some of the changes they chose make the plot more messy just for the sake of being messy, or ruins the pacing or theming of specific areas in the story.

A couple parts I really liked right off the bat:

I know some people didn't like the fact that Barret didn't talk about Myrna, but I really loved the detail that he never mentions her coupled with the fact that she is his darkest hour he experiences at the Temple of the Ancients, it does a good job at making it clear that her death is something too tender for him to discuss.

In general the nightmare sequences were really well done and made me bawl my eyes out. Each one was so nice and unique.

There were a lot of super lovable NPCs' that I got super attached to, even if they appeared really briefly. The game did a good job at making these NPCs' feel like they are their own characters

Obviously I really loved the character designs, the world designs, and I know they could be tedious but I super loved the Chadley quests. He's just my little guy.

#ffvii #ff7 #ffvii rebirth

[cipheramnesia]

you have good horror opinions, so im wondering what your thoughts are(if you have any/would be willing to share) on the I Spit On Your Grave series. i feel like opinion is pretty starkly divided about it, you know?

It's been a year or so since I've seen the 1978 original I Spit On Your Grave. For those unfamiliar, this is one of the better known examples of the "rape revenge" subgenre. As the name implies, the protagonist, usually a woman, is sexually assaulted, followed by her taking violent revenge on the men who attacked her. As anyone also might guess, most of these movies tend to encourage a more prurient interest over a feminist one, and it's generally not a subgenre with a lot of real winners in it, so to speak. Some examples from the subgenre which are genuinely good movies with actual depth and thought are Revenge (2017) and Ms. 45 (1981).

My feelings about the original I Spit On Your Grave are that it's kind of average. It's not particularly distinguished by any standards you could apply, be it as a horror film, a 70s movie, an exploitation film, etc. The scenes of sexual violence feel pretty tame by comparison to almost any modern movie, and the revenge I recall being satisfactorily enacted. In many ways, purely through the chance of it being made cheaply and decades in the past, it's distinctively better quality than many more modern movies which use the same approach today. The lack of expensive and glossy camera work and lack of expensive and glossy actors put an air of unaffected realism across the movie that works in its favor, but which does not feel particularly intentional. It's fine to watch as a historic artifact, but it's not something I go out of my way to extol the virtues of, unlike say The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Basically I wouldn't argue either side, because I'm not sure I Spit On Your Grave has a level of quality outside the middle of the bell curve,

I will say that 2010 remake of it is just awful. I have no idea how the assault scenes are because everything about it was so stultifying that I gave up. I have no idea what they were trying to do, and I couldn't be bothered to finish. I haven't investigated the series beyond that because the OG doesn't make me feel like I need to see any more, and the remake which somehow has three sequels didn't manage to keep my interest enough to finish. If the 78 version is just average, the 2010 version is purely generic, the negative version of average, the CW network casting call of horror, the khaki pants of revenge films, a footnote on the index of the three paragraph entry you write for the original. I wouldn't argue either side for it, but mostly because I don't think there's enough material to argue about.

#rape cw

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I've neen thinking a lot about Steven Universe lately, so if you don't want to see any of that just keep on scrolling (This drags on for quite a while)

So what I'm about to type is mostly about Lapis and Peridot and their whole dynamic because I saw something that I can not stop thinking about. I was scrolling through TikTok (a horrible mistake I now realize) and I saw a Lapis and Peridot edit, and it wasn't bad, but the description of the video really got me thinking. It said that they (the original poster) couldn't believe that The Crystal Gems would leave Peridot in "an isolated area" with Lapis, who "hated her guts just a few seconds ago and then abruptly became all blushy" and that their relationship wasn't healthy because there was a "Power Dynamic" and Peridot apparently respects gems that have a higher authority then her on Homeworld (the example they used was the episode with Amethyst during Peri's big character arc). Now, for what ever reason, I have not been able to stop thinking about this and coming up with rebuttals to it in my head, so I thought why not let the internet hear these thoughts of mine.

Peridot is in an isolated area and can not leave

No??????? We are shown time and time again that the barn is very easily accesible to The Crystal Gems (Ex: Steven warping to the barn to stop Lapis from breaking Peridot's tablet when she thinks Steven is trapped inside of it) and we are also shown that Peridot is fully capable of using the warps (Ex: Beta). According to Peridot's Twitter she is fully aware of what a car is (Presumabley because she was hit by one). Now this seems like a very odd and random detail to bring up, until you realize there is likely no roads for miles at the barn, so she was in a situation where she was on a road away from the barn. Also, in the episode Too Short to Ride, the first shot is Peridot in Steven's house, without Lapis, So the idea that Peridot is trapped with our favorite water themed gem is just flat out wrong. Peridot also has full agency over her life and where she chooses live, if she wants to not be around Lapis she has the full ability to do so, but she doesn't, she wants to live with her in the barn. The show has told us multiple times now that she is very quick to assume that something is "a weapon" or out to get her in some way so if she feels safe, it's 90% likely that she is. Also the gems aren't stupid, if they feel like something will go wrong or that there is a problem they'll try their best to help both Lapis and Peridot in their whole Barnmate situation.

2. Lapis hated Peridot's guts a few seconds ago and is now all blushy

Now admittedly, yes it does appear like that with absolutley zero context of who Lapis is as a character. This is the kind of opinion someone would have if they turned on their TV while this episode was airing, watched the bit where Peridot is trying to win Lapis' affection, went to the bathroom after Lapis broke Peri's tape recorder and came back after Steven talked with Lapis. The reason Lapis asks Peridot "Are you okay?" isn't because she's some unstable gem that is constantlly flip-flopping between love and hate, she's trying to do what Steven asked her to do, get to know the Peridot that Steven knows, not the one Lapis met. ALSO she has an absolutley justifiable reason to "hate her guts". Lapis has spent thousands of years trapped in a mirror being used as some kind of informant, and then left alone and discarded, not able to move or do anything, the only thing she could do was watch the stars move. And when she's finally free and tries to fly back to her Homeworld she is taken captive AGAIN and used as an informant AGAIN. And after their plan goes awry, the other gem who kidnapped her fuses with her to harm the one person she actually cares about on this lousy gem-forsaken planet. And so, in a moment of deep panic and hurt she traps both her and her captor at the bottom of the ocean because she feels like if she doesn't, Steven will get hurt. And after months and months of back and forth in a horrifically damagingand draining power struggle, she's finally free and ready to live a life on Earth with Steven, and then all of a sudden your current best friend (the child) says that you're going to be living with one of the two gems who dragged you back to the planet you so desperatley tried to escape from? I'd be pretty peeved too. Lapis is a very emotional gem, she blushes at Peridot's smile because A: It's adorable, and B: She just realized that she asked if Peridot was okay and is embarassed that Peridot knows that she, in some level, for Steven's sake, is starting to care about Peridot. She isn't some unstable danger to everyone around her who's an irredeemable monster, she's a deeply traumatized PTSD ridden being who has made mistakes before, but is trying her best to find a little comfort in the life she's choosing to live.

3. Peridot has high respect for gems that are deemed higher then her by Homeworld standards and is in an unhealthy power dynamic with Lapis

The specific quote from the description is as follows "I swear, people forget the power dynamic these two have, Lapis is a high ranking gem, and we know how Peridot gets around people she deem as higher ranking (cough cough amethyst)". I have been trying to be as kind as possible while dissecting this description, if I let my emotions get in the way of the genuine facts this essay will become an all caps angry ramble session. But this is the stupidest thing I have ever read. Sure, in the episode Too Far (the episode the original poster is referring to with the Amethyst comment) and through most of her arc, Peridot is shown to have preexisting prejudices about gems and their values. And we do know for a fact that back on Homeworld Peridot's were deemed lower then Lapis Lazuli's, but this person is implying that the reason that Peridot is trying to impress Amethyst is because she's "Higher Ranking" back on Homeworld, when that simply isn't the case. She's trying to become Amethyst's friend, she thinks she's cool and has a genuine apprectiation for her. All too often I see people state that Peridot "is afraid of Lapis" when she isn't, she's trying her best to be considerate to her friend and Barnmate. During the time period when "Barnmates" takes place, Peridot has nearly fully wrapped up her character arc. She no longer has respect for someone just because of how highly they may be ranked on some stupid arbitrary ranking system, and there is one episode that perfectly demonstrates that fact. Season Two, Episode 24, "Message Recieved". In this episode Peridot has a direct line to Yellow Diamond, one of the four three Dictators of the planet and society she comes from, quite literally the top of the top. And when Peridot is directly speaking to her she gets into an argument with Yellow over the fate of the Earth, this all bubbles up to this exchange. Yellow Diamond: "What do you know about the Earth!?" Peridot: "Apparently more than you, you CLOD!" This one insult marks the completion of Peridot's character arc, she would never have even thought about saying this to Jasper when they first got to the Earth (who, by the way wasn't even higher ranking then her on their specific mission, she was an escort to Peridot). Now she's yelling at the Luminous Yellow Diamond and calling her a clod. Peridot could not care less about how high a gem may be ranked back on Homeworld. The statement from the description suggests that Peridot's whole arc never even happened, she's just a nice little green triangle who is constantly walking around eggshells when talking to literally anyone. Peridot is not trapped in some unhealthy relationship with a gem she can't escape from. She has a new found lease on life and wants to be friends with someone who she deems to be underestimating and assuming the worst of her. Lapis isn't some terrible abusive monster who is tricking the crystal gems into leaving her alone with Peridot. She now has no need to be scared and is ready to attempt a genuine connection with someone else, they've both done bad things in the past, but they're ready to move past those things to become better.

In conclusion, they are silly, great, and lovable. The end.

#Steven Universe #Peridot #Lapis Lazuli #Hoooo boy #That was much longer than I thought it would be