Tumgik
#i'm just realizing now the girls i hang out with that everyone i like ends up falling for are just my white friends..
churipu · 3 months
Note
OK HEAR ME OUT
nerd!nanami x girly!reader pls pls pls
thankss 💗
NANAMI WITH A GIRLY GIRL ૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა
featuring. nanami kento x fem! reader
warnings. i'm gonna make this a college! au , and a little cursing
note. hi nonnie, sorry that i just got to your request now — but i hope you like this :< uni's already getting real hectic, so updates might be a lil on the slow side.
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nanami didn't fall in love with you at first sight — in fact, he finds you quite the nuisance. the way everyone loves you just because of the way you talk, the way you dress, the way you smell, your body language. he thinks it was all a simple act to fool people.
"hi, nanami!" you greet him, your bright pink colored apron dress flowing against the wind as you walked towards him elegantly — a white cotton cardigan covering your shoulders.
the male arched his brow mutely at your cheery voice, wondering what could someone like you want from him, "do you need anything?" he asks.
initially he thought that you were one of those people who'd woo him and try to get him to do your assignments, but he was proven wrong when you shook your head. giving out the brightest smile, showing off your pearly whites, "no, i was just saying hi."
then you brushed by him, the smell of your sweet fragrance entering his nostrils. sandalwood. you smelt like sandalwood and a hint of vanilla.
though he could then make sure of one thing, what an odd girl.
nanami was a good student. he focuses on his studies, while you try to fit in a bit of everything in your schedule — playing, hanging out, studying. but at the end of the day, nanami finds it shocking that you could pass with flying colors.
from his peripheral vision, nanami could see people crowding around you. he tells himself he didn't care about you, yet here was wondering why they were all over you.
"you told us you didn't study, you liar!" a girl pointed out accusingly at you, a smile pressed onto her lips.
"i just got lucky, i swear."
"that's what you said last time, y/n."
nanami didn't mean to eavesdrop, he knew it was wrong to hear someone else's conversation. but he couldn't help it when these people were speaking loudly — the only thing he could focus on was the fact that you had a perfect score.
call him weird, but he's all in for the brains.
the first time he officially spoke to you — nanami was a mess. he had never been in a proper conversation with most of the people at campus. most he's been in one is when he had to tell his group members off for being useless, but that was about it. and with you, he's a little awkward.
"oh, hi nanami! do you need anything?" you noticed that the male was eyeing you from his seat.
upon realizing what he had done, nanami immediately averted his gaze to the front. ignoring your words, not putting a second thought to it — but you shrugged it off anyways.
and the second time he laid his eyes on you for quite some time, it was in the middle of a lecture. so you slipped a note asking if he needed anything, and he replied with his own handwriting, saying "no".
embarrassed he'd gotten caught again. nanami felt like he was being discreet about his staring when in reality, it wasn't. and it's funny.
nanami didn't really understand why he was feeling like this. and he had nobody to talk to or ask about his feelings — so he made an assumption, it was the flu. coming into the lecture hall with a scarf tucked into his neck, and a white mask covering the lower half of his face.
"nanami, are you sick?" you asked him, and he nodded mutely, "well, it is flu season after all. i hope you get well soon."
nanami felt his heart flutter, and he chewed on his lips in frustration — if the mask had not been on his face, he was sure you'd be able to notice the frustration lingering in his expression.
his fingers frantically typing on the search engine typing out his symptoms, and every one of the choices ended up telling him the same thing.
he's in love.
but the male denied that, talking to himself how the internet was just a waste of time. he's in denial for a bit.
he's in denial of his own feelings. and would constantly turn away whenever you're there, passing by you in a rush as you were greeting him, or moving away to another seat when you sat next to him. forgetting the fact that you were also affected by his actions, wondering what you did wrong to him.
"hi nanami—" you waved your hand as the two of you passed by each other in the hallway.
but the male brushes past you in a flash, not even letting you finish your sentence. and you shrugged thinking that he might be in a rush.
but when it happened, again and again. you could definitely conclude that he is indeed avoiding you — hell, he won't even spare you a glance. and you wondered what you did wrong to him.
"is this seat—" you approached the seat next to him, ready to claim it but he stood up packing his things and moving to a lone seat three rows behind, "taken..?"
ouch.
nanami didn't feel like he did anything wrong until he was met by one of your friends. who — well, said anything but nice things to him. threats. warnings. and questions. even nanami didn't know the answer to.
"what the fuck did you do to y/n?" the female said, eyeing nanami up and down judgmentally.
what did he do to you?
"what?"
"i said, what did you do to her you dipshit?" wow. nanami could only furrow his brows, thinking of a possible answer that he is sure of because of the looks of it — even he didn't know what was going on right now, "why did you make her sad?"
"sad?" nanami questions, "i didn't talk to her."
"exactly. why didn't you? you know she likes you, right?" nanami's breath hitched at the revelation, and he shook his head, "what? are you stupid? and here i thought she was being too fucking obvious, god . . ."
he was too caught up to hear what the angry female in front of him had to say, he just focused on the fact that you— y/n l/n— liked him.
he was stupid with all these new feelings. and nanami wasn't used to being stupid — so for the first time, he had to ask your friend's help. asking guidance for what he should do, what you like, what he needed to say to you.
"just say you're sorry and confess. you like her too don't you?" your friend exasperatedly explained, already feeling a little exhausted from having to tell such a smart but idiotic male about love.
"okay."
your friend was a bit skeptical, so she had to elaborate and make a script for him (which he ended up reading in front of you by the way), "just try to memorize this and go."
nanami in fact, could not memorize the script.
when he knocked on your door, reading off the script in front of you. you find it funny, because you didn't know what was going on or what you expected.
"what are you doing, nanami?" you chuckled, shutting the door behind you as the male stood on your porch, holding the small paper your friend gave to him in his hand.
"apologizing."
"for what?"
"your friend told me i made you sad by avoiding you," you choked on your own breath, a bit embarrassed by your friend — flailing your hands a bit.
"she did? oh my god. i'll tell her to say sorry . . ."
nanami shook his head, "it's alright. and i like you too."
nanami and you made it official that night. and he, oh my god, he spoils you. rotten. despite being a college student — nanami has money. buying you dresses, hair accessories, flowers, anything he thinks reminded him of you, he will buy it for you.
"ken, what's this?" you question him as the male handed you a pink colored plastic bag.
nanami didn't answer you, but beckoned you to open it and to see for yourself. when you did, the sight of two shiny hair accessories made your heart flutter, "you got this for me? thank you so much, kento."
nanami gets very happy when he sees you using the things he buys for you, and he gets pretty upset when you tell him that he shouldn't be spending so much on you.
despite your advice, nanami still buys everything for you. he doesn't regret anything if it's about you.
he's a little tweaky and awkward at first, but as time goes by. he gets the hang of dating and relationships. the most gentle male, holding your hand, he will never let you walk on the outside part of the sidewalk, he stands behind you during an escalator ride up because you love to wear dresses, he will exchange his shoes for you if your feet were paining because of your own shoes (and he will carry your shoes for you), will carry your shopping bags and even your normal bag for you.
"let me carry that," he grabs your bag and carries it before lacing his fingers with yours.
"ken, you don't have to—"
"i insist." he cuts you off, smiling down at you and his hand squeezes yours lightly as if telling you that it was completely okay to rely on him because he loves it when you rely on him.
he absolutely loves going shopping with you. he gets the first look at new outfits, and he absolutely loves when you bring him to shop for new dresses. telling you to do a little twirl before complimenting you and how beautiful you looked. he always, always, ends up buying them all for you.
"so? how do i look?" you opened the door to the fitting room cubicle, showing yourself.
nanami had to hold back a smile from forming on his face, "turn around," he softly said — and when you did as he was told, the hem of your dress fluttering around as your body turns.
he finally broke into the smile, "you look beautiful." nanami compliments, taking your hand in his, "take the dress."
you chuckled, "ken, i already have two others. and you spent a lot on me — i don't want you to spend more on me."
nonsense.
nanami gets it for you unknowingly anyways, giving it to you on the walk back home from the mall. he always does that. always.
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943 notes · View notes
ozzgin · 4 months
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Girl I love Daitou but I'm ngl I need more of Yazuya😭 if you can, can you write headcanons about him please? I'd appreciate it thank you <3
I was wondering if he’d end up mentioned at some point haha. Most definitely I can. I might just turn this into HCs for both of them, since the story parts so far didn’t have much romance.
Yandere!Yakuza x Reader Headcanons
Ultimate dating guide and palate cleanser featuring the gangster boys (Kazuya and Daitou). For those that have been left hanging for proper romance.
Main story: [Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3]
Tags: @swagbucksjester @lucienbarkbark @moonieper @nu-vino @vee-love @tamaki-simp @pinkazelma
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Kazuya
Kazuya was raised in a brothel, surrounded by women, so he is much more knowledgeable than the average man when it comes to feminine matters. Similar to someone who grew up having sisters, you can talk to him about anything and everything and not only will he be empathetic towards your problems, but he might offer tips and tricks you didn’t even know about. Not too shocking when he’s already heard multiple variations of whatever is bothering you.
The downside to his upbringing is that intercourse has always felt terribly transactional to him. He has a hard time associating it with intimate relationships. He will flirt a lot with you, but despite all the sexual innuendos, he won’t actually do anything until later in the relationship. He struggles with the irrational worry that sex will somehow taint the quality of your bond, making it feel cheap. Dating you has helped him realize that such things can be done out of love as well.
He is extremely affectionate and well mannered when dealing with you. Which may sometimes cause you to forget there’s a reason him and Daitou are good friends. While he isn’t as ill-tempered as his younger self, it doesn’t take much to anger him still. It’s a rare occurrence for you to witness it, but when he has it out for someone, he nearly matches Daitou in ruthlessness. He's very prideful and protective and will not hesitate to crush whoever challenges him or messes with you.
If you have a group of girlfriends, you can confidently bring him with you with the only risk being that he’ll steal your spotlight. He can charismatically slide his way into any kind of conversation and you can hardly believe that this is the same man cracking gross jokes over his latest murder to his fellow criminal buddies. You might consider him a social chameleon, having no trouble adapting to any environment.
Smokes like a chimney and you have to slap the cigarette out of his hand sometimes because he’ll just light one up anywhere (including your bedroom).
Now this one is for the girlies that are into it: God forbid you accidentally call him Daddy because he’ll ride that high until the end of time. He loves the idea and will tease about it with every opportunity. “Terrible weather today. Should Daddy drive you to work instead?”, or “Is that any way to talk to Daddy?” for when you’re out in public.
Daitou
One neat detail about being with Daitou is that you get to see a lot of things you took for granted in a new light. Whatever you assumed was a common experience for everyone, like having a picnic or going to the amusement park, is utterly foreign to him. He was raised by the Yakuza and barely interacted with anyone before meeting Kazuya; civilian past times were never presented to him. So you get to witness his shocked and delighted expression as he tries all these things with you.
Thankfully you don’t have to worry about teaching him the…intimate aspects of a relationship. Kazuya has that covered. And Daitou seems to be a rather fast learner, because he’s incredibly gentle and careful with you. Part of it is due to his own fear of messing it up. He’s only ever been good at breaking and killing people. Despite that, he loves you so much. He has to be the best boyfriend for your sake. Surely these hands of his can do more than just damage.
He might actually be a little too eager to learn the ropes. More than once you’ve walked in on him reading a graphic manga and nearly choked, mumbling an apology for interrupting his…activity. He’ll look at you with a confused expression, completely unbothered and wondering why you’re so embarrassed. He was flipping through the pages for ideas, given he’s never had any kind of experience himself. Ah. That explains the random kinky gestures he’s started doing without shame or doubt. You’ll have to do some tweaking in the near future.
This may come as a surprise, but Daitou is exceptionally good at household chores like cleaning and cooking. Registering with the Yakuza involves a mandatory apprenticeship of several years where you do menial tasks for your higher ups. Additionally, the time he served in jail has left him with a lot of discipline and organization. Somewhere between adorable and comical is how you’d describe the sight of him kneeling on the floor and carefully folding the kitchen towels while waiting for the stew to simmer.
Daitou isn’t exactly what you’d traditionally call jealous. His only frame of reference is Boss, thus he will treat you with the same kind of loyalty and dedication. You wouldn’t expect a mere nobody to walk up to the Head of the Family, so anyone approaching you will, similarly, be violently kept away until their intentions are clear. You are his most prized possession, after all. He’d do anything for you.
1K notes · View notes
literaila · 2 months
Text
keeping secrets
gojo satoru x fem!reader
summary: you and satoru avoid each other
warnings: actual fighting, sad everyone, hurt/little comfort (sorry)
last part | next part
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*
year four.
"did megumi give you a permission slip?" you ask satoru, leaning against the side of the couch, peeking at his phone. "it's for a field trip, but i haven't seen it. he says he set it on the counter." 
satoru glances at you. then back, and shakes his head. 
"he didn't give you anything to sign?" 
"not recently." 
you sigh. "i don't think he lost it." 
satoru's lip quirks. "you think i'm hiding it?" 
"i don't know. did you accidentally eat it?" 
his eyes roll. "i have better taste than that." 
"well, can you help me look for it?" 
satoru sighs, head hanging back for a moment, then he throws his phone down, groaning as he stands up. after he stretches, he half-heartedly moves a pillow, pretending to look under it. 
you snort. 
but satoru doesn't look back at you, and moves to the table, to look at the stack of papers there. 
and, admittedly, things have been a bit off. 
you tried to ignore it at first--ignore the way satoru avoided your eyes, or kept himself five feet away from you at all times. you tried to pretend that it wasn't happening. that he wasn't giving you short responses, or only joking with you in dire moments (like when something you say goes over both of the kid's heads and they stare at you weirdly).
honestly, you hadn't even noticed anything was wrong until you'd realized that it'd been a week since he fell asleep with you. since he even bothered to come out of his room after putting the kids to bed. a week since he tried to squeeze you to death, or grossly kissed your cheek. 
and... it shouldn't be weird.
no rule says that he has to spend a specific amount of time with you, or cuddle in your bed, or smile at you, or... do anything that your best friend probably shouldnt do. 
but it's weird. 
it's strange because your relationship with satoru has stayed relatively consistent, an upward slope for the past six years. you've grown closer, but never farther. 
and, in the depths of your mind, usually when you're lying awake at night, you recognize that there's one single moment when it switched. that everything changed a specific morning, and you haven't been able to rewind it. to take it all back. 
and you could just blame the alcohol for your confession, you probably should. 
but then you'd also have to blame your sixteen-year-old self, the girl who'd been attracted to satoru in the first place. the eighteen-year-old who agreed to tie her life to his and take in the kids, or you now, still cursing yourself for falling in love with him.
it's not like satoru made you. 
if intoxication is to blame, so is your heart, your soul, for starting all of this in the first place. 
you'd decided to not blame anything at all, in the end. everything's fine. 
"find anything?" you ask him, a bit cold in the room, feeling that same tension that's been there. those unspoken words, infinite amounts of distance.
you try to ignore it, really. 
"just the receipt for tsumiki's violin." 
"tsumiki's what?" you ask, blinking at him. 
"i didn't tell you about that?" 
"satoru, you can't just buy them things on a whim--" 
he holds a hand up, stopping you. "she said it was for school," he says, giving you a quick grin. "plus, she's pretty good." 
"there's no way she's good." 
"you'll see," he says, "when we go to her recital." 
"what?" 
satoru shrugs, then he turns around, organizing the piles of papers into neat stacks. it almost makes you want to check him for a spider bite, a fever, remnants of poison. no way your satoru is doing that. 
not that he's yours. he hasn't been yours in years, hasn't been your anything ever. 
"oh, here," he says, eventually, handing you a paper which he already signed--of course--and shaking his head. "museums," he grumbles. 
but he doesn't give you the chance to respond, turning to walk down the hall--towards his room--before you can even chide him for forgetting about it. 
so, yeah. things are fine. 
*
"where's gojo?" megumi asks, as the two of you walk through the door.
the house is empty without satoru there. colder, dimmer. and, of course, there's no one to irritate the boy right when he walks in. 
you try not to wince at the question, or spiral into your own question of 'where's gojo?'
"uh," you lock the door, then unlock it. then lock it again. "he's on another job." 
"again?" 
you give megumi a bland smile, taking his backpack from him. "guess they think he needs more practice," you say, trying to tease. 
it falls flat. 
"did he get in trouble?" 
"i don't know," you shrug. "probably." 
honestly, it's not like you would know anyway. satoru doesn't tell you anything these days. 
it's probably what bothers you the most, because if he's not saying anything, then neither can you. you can't ask him what he thinks about tsumiki's new friend, or if megumi should be eating more, or if you're just making everything up, probably going insane--
"when's he going to be back?" 
"he said probably tomorrow. maybe the day after if it takes longer. i can't remember where they sent him..." 
megumi looks mischievous. his eyes are bright. "so we can make those miso brownies? since he's gone?" 
you laugh, ruffling his hair. "sure, when tsumiki gets home." 
he nods, satisfied, and turns around. then he looks back at you, eyes trailing over your expression. 
megumi looks at you quizzically, like he knows something you don't. "do you miss him?" 
you roll your eyes. "do you miss him, megumi?" 
he doesn't even think about it. "true," he says, then walks into the kitchen, grabbing something from the fridge. 
maybe you miss him, you think, but only a little bit. it's not like he's been gone long. 
just, you know, forever. 
*
"hey," you lean against the desk in the office. satoru must be filling out a report, which should make you blink twice, but really it's him being out in the open that surprises you. 
most days he goes to hide in his room. he locks his door and makes sure that you wouldn't dare to walk through. that you have no means to interrupt his solitude. 
"oh, hey," satoru answers, not bothering to look up at you. his voice is low, familiar, and creates goosebumps on your skin. 
seriously, why is it so cold in this house? 
"i'm surprised those haven't gone missing yet," you gesture toward the papers, trying to be casual.
he snorts. "yaga said that if i lost them again, i was fired." 
"he said that two years ago." 
satoru nods, still scribbling. you want more than anything to just see his eyes for a moment, for him to look at you and grin like you're used to. 
but you know he won't, so you tap your fingers against the desk. "do you have a second?" 
"sure. what's up? megumi do something?" 
"no, the kids are fine, i, um--" you pause. it feels ridiculous to have to ask him this, to not know the answer. it feels ridiculous to be nervous around satoru. you haven't felt anxious, or worried about asking him anything since you were sixteen and realized that it didn't matter. "shoko texted me about that work 'meeting' that's happening on friday. do you want to go to that? i just need to know so i can tell her..." 
"meeting?" 
your smile is teasing, not that he's looking. "i think she meant party." 
"on friday?" 
"yeah. she said that the booze is free, and i think nanami's going, so i thought..." you hint, not even sure what you mean. 
i thought we could talk. i thought we could go together and maybe everything would go back to normal. i thought that we were friends, if anything, and that you cared about me--
satoru hums. "what about the kids?" 
"tsumiki has a birthday party that night, and megumi likes the sitter from last time," you wince at your accidental mention of that night. "or he can come, i guess, but he'd probably hate it." 
satoru snorts, nodding in agreement. you watch his hands freeze, then resume. 
he's thinking the same things you are, you know. he's thinking about how stupid you are, how ridiculous it is to imagine him being in love with you, caring about who you are or how you feel. 
you just know it. 
"so..." you whisper, after a second. "do you want to go?" 
you feel like you're standing on uneven ground. how can this be the only real conversation you've had with satoru this week? 
how can you miss him this much when he's literally right there? 
"i don't--" satoru makes a face, finally looking toward you. he sets down the pen. "i don't think so. but you can go and i can stay here with megumi," he suggests easily like he's not rejecting you. "we can have a guy's night." 
"megumi hates guy's nights." 
satoru has a cheeky grin on, but it's half-hearted. barely there. 
like a glimpse of him in a peephole, a moment where he's not hiding completely from you. 
he doesn't say anything, though. he doesn't even bother to come up with a better excuse. 
it's clear as day that he just doesn't want to hang out with you, even in a crowd of people.
"that's okay," you hum, eventually, trying to keep your voice steady. "i don't really--" 
"no, you should go. you haven't seen nanami in a while. you can have a night out," he says genuinely, but it sounds more like i need a break from you. 
"yeah," you try to laugh. "i--um, okay. if you're sure." 
he nods, looking away again. he hasn't touched you in weeks. your skin is almost molding, going completely stale. "i'm sure. we'll order dinner, so you don't have to worry about the brat complaining." 
"okay." 
"okay," satoru answers, but it doesn't mean anything. 
and it's not okay. 
*
the two of them walk through the door, and megumi looks... pleasant. he's got the makings of a smile on his face, a little jump in his step. 
it's one of the only times you've seen him look like the ten-year-old he is, instead of someone who's concerned about economic collapse. 
it makes you smile a bit, even if just the sight of satoru sends pangs down your chest.
"hey," you say, hand on his head as he lingers by you, eyes meeting yours in greeting. you look to satoru, who's pretending to wipe away a smudge on his glasses. "where were you guys?" 
"we were--" 
"gojo took me to that old hospital by my school," megumi says, "there were cursed spirits hanging outside. he let me and my divine dogs deal with them," he says this almost excitedly--as excited as megumi gets--and you can see it in his eyes. that little twinkle of pride. 
your eyes widen, but you smile, trying to be genuine. it's difficult because you've been lying for weeks. "really?" you ask, trying not to look over at satoru accusingly. "how'd it go?" 
"good," megumi, moves to the sink, washing his hands. "they're getting better at scenting them out. it didn't take long." 
"that's great." 
"megumi didn't need any of my help," satoru adds, giving you a short glance. "he's got good intuition." 
megumi looks at satoru with a glare in his eyes, but you can tell that he appreciates the compliment. 
you can tell that he's completely fine with this, that the two of them are going to act like it's normal, but you can't.
you try to ignore it when megumi looks between you and satoru, a slight furrow in his brows. he knows something wrong, you know. but you're not going to admit that. 
you swallow. "do you have any homework you need to finish, megs?" 
"uh..." he pauses. "i think so. reading?" 
you smile, hand on his back as you lead him out of the room. "okay, how about you go work on that? i need to talk to satoru real quick." 
he nods immediately, looking eager to leave--both the room and the tension. 
as soon as he's gone, you turn to satoru, narrowed eyes as you observe him. he's already smiling because he knows that he's in trouble. because he knows that you're angry. 
because, even if he hasn't actually spoken to you in weeks, satoru has always read you so well. he's always known what you're going to say before you say it. 
but you can't care about it. it doesn't mean anything to him. 
“you can’t do that,” you say, almost whispering. “not without asking me.” 
“i knew you’d say no.” 
you laugh, looking away from him. “exactly.”
“he’s fine,” satoru reassures. he shrugs, because why should he care about your concern? “he did good, and there’s not a scratch on him. i’m sorry for not telling you but—“ 
“no buts, satoru. you can’t take megumi out on missions like he’s a student. he’s not. and you definitely can’t do it without even telling me," there's a burning in your chest. your head is clouded over with anger. 
just looking at him--at his ridiculous smile and stupid perfect face--makes you clench your fists.
how can he stand there and act like you're a team? 
“it’s not a big deal. i was there the whole time—and he didn’t need me.” 
“i don’t care!” 
satoru rolls his eyes, his arms crossed. “i think you’re overreacting.” 
“i’m not," you say, trying to get him to look at you--actually look--but he won't. it makes your chest hurt even more. "you’re not telling me things—fine, whatever, keep whatever secrets you want, gojo. don't bother talking to me. but you can’t keep secrets from me about the kids.” 
“secrets? i’m not—“ 
you shake your head, hands in the air, trying to clear all of it away. you want the past month to go away, the past six years. “megumi’s just a kid. he’s ten. he can’t be going on missions, not until he’s ready.” 
“i think i’ve already proved how ready he is.” 
“well, maybe i'm not ready. he’s a kid.” 
“yeah,” satoru says, obviously. he scoffs. “yeah, he’s a kid. but he’s also a jujutsu sorcerer. you can’t separate the two.” 
his voice is all-knowing and his stance is firm. you know that you won't convince him otherwise--know that he's right, to some degree, but this isn't about megumi. 
this isn't about cursed spirits or jujutsu. 
“yes, you can," you say, clenching your jaw. "he doesn’t need to be seeing that shit right now. not until he decides he wants to. practice his technique with him all you want, but you can’t just take him to exorcise a curse with you.” 
“like i said, he’s fine.” 
“it’s not about that! it’s about you doing something reckless—again—and acting like there aren’t any consequences to your decisions. he’s my son,” you hiss, “he shouldn’t be going anywhere i don’t know about. you shouldn’t be making decisions about him behind my back.”
you shouldn't be pushing me away, you shouldn't be ruining this--
“so you want to lock him up here?" satoru asks, laughing at you. his teeth are sharp and he is still. "you want to take away his ability to defend himself?” 
you scoff. “are you kidding? you think me saying i don’t want you to get him killed is equal to me—“ 
“he was fine. if anything—anything—had been there that megumi couldn’t handle, i would’ve taken care of it. i wasn't going to let anyone touch him. that’s why i was there! and he didn’t even need me," he's boasting, swearing to you--you can feel it as he rolls his eyes at you.
“you know what he needs, satoru? he needs you to treat him like he’s a little boy and not some experiment for you to play with.” 
“i would never—“ 
you cut him off, “bringing him out into the open, where anyone could see him, could hurt him, and making him deal with your cursed spirit is not okay.” 
“i didn’t make him deal with anything," satoru swears, chin up. 
you snort. the two of you are standing in front of each other, arms crossed, head guarded. your muscles are tense like something is about to attack you. “oh, so he asked you to go?” 
“well, no, but—“ 
“then you made him! you put him up against a monster and treated him like a student, like a 16-year-old, and not your son.” 
the words feel nice to say. some version of the truth that's much better than whatever this version is. if satoru won't talk to you, you'll talk for him. 
you'll make every assumption, every bad perception (because he's supposed to keep you from worrying, he's supposed to be there to calm you down, to save you from that spiraling). but if he's not going to try, neither will you. 
satoru’s eyes grow hard. “what?” 
“why can’t you just let him be a kid? why do you have to push him into these things—“ 
“we talked with megumi about who he is,” satoru grinds, “he knows about the privilege of his strength, and the fact that he has to work to use it—“ 
“a ten-year-old shouldn’t have to work for anything!” 
he laughs at you. you can't see his eyes, but you watch his face as he tries to hide his expression, trying to keep his voice low. the kids are still in the house, so you shouldn't be yelling. but you can't bring it in yourself to really care. 
“what do you think the point of him living here was? why do you think we took him in?” 
you gape at him. “are you kidding?” you ask. “are you serious? we took him, and tsumiki, in because you’re responsible for killing their father! because they didn’t have anyone else, and that’s your fault.” 
“you think i don’t know that?” 
“well, i thought you did," you say, stepping away from him. some part of you wants to push him out, make him leave. the other part desperately wants him to stay--to say he's sorry. "but you just said that the only reason megumi is here is so you can teach him! when i agreed to this i thought you were facing the consequences of your actions, doing the right thing for those kids because you could. i thought you wanted to take care of them! to keep them away from our awful, messed up world.” 
satoru is staring at you with his jaw clenched. 
you continue, without consideration for the consequences of your words. “i didn’t think that you only wanted to keep megumi here so you could train him, like a dog.” 
“that’s not what i said.” 
you shake your head, a bitter smile on your face. “well it’s what you meant, and clearly you have no regard for his feelings or the way that curses might affect him—“ 
“don’t act like i did it just to mess with him," he interrupts, harshly. "it’s not a joke. i want him to be strong, i want him to be able to take care of himself—“ 
“and i want him to have a dad who isn’t so selfish!” 
“what?” 
“did you even think about it? what about the nightmares he’s going to have?" you wonder, rhetorically. "what about the fact that he’s different—that he’s already struggling to relate to other kids in school? what about him, satoru? why is it only about you?” 
what about me? you don't say. 
“i didn’t bring him for me—“ 
“you want a replacement. you want someone else to deal with everything, while you sit back and watch. i know what you’re trying to do—“
“really?" he points at you, the other hand clenched in the air. he's laughing again. "you can read my mind? you’ve already been let in on my plans—“ 
“don’t you wish that you’d had the opportunity to be just a kid?” you demand. “don’t you want that for megumi?” 
he shrugs. “sure. but it’s never going to happen.” 
“well, clearly, because you won’t let it.” 
“he gets to be a kid every day. god forbid i take him to see one curse, to understand how to use his powers, to protect himself, and you treat me like i wanted to kill him.” 
you laugh. your mind is a minefield, and everything he says ruins another part of it. 
all you can think about is him, him as a teenager, him with you, telling satoru you love him and him having nothing left to say--
but you scoff again, shoving yourself further away from him. “do you know how many times i’ve wanted to go back to when i was ten and just got to live my life? do you know how often i think about how everything could’ve been different?” 
“this isn’t about us."
“yes, it is. it is, satoru, because i didn’t get that chance and neither did you. and you just took away megumi’s chance.” 
“i didn’t take anything away," he says, softly, like he's trying to convince himself. 
clearly, you've struck a nerve. 
“he’s never going to be able to look at the world normally, but he doesn’t need the burden of saving people before he’s even in middle school.” 
“why is being strong so bad?” satoru asks you, demanding something more. why am i so bad? “why do you treat it like it’s a curse? like it’s going to hurt him?”
“look at you!” you respond. “look at suguru, and me, and shoko! look at any jujutsu sorcerer and ask them if being strong is worth it—is worth screwing your life over.”
satoru looks taken aback. he steps away from you. 
“god, it’s like you think that we’re a different species," you tell him, never having felt like it's more true. "you’re human, satoru. you might be the strongest, but you’re still human, and you still have nightmares like all of the rest of us.” 
he shakes his head at you. 
“why do you want that for megumi? why push him into this right now?” 
“i want him to be able to take care of himself. so that he doesn’t die like our colleagues, so that he doesn’t make the wrong choice like—“ 
he stops, his voice breaking before he can continue. 
and maybe you know what this is really about, but if satoru doesn’t want to tell you how he feels, if he wants to pretend like it doesn’t matter— 
fine. you will too. 
“it wouldn’t make a difference. he’s already—his life is already messed up.” 
satoru looks at you, his eyes ablaze. “don’t you think that if i was him, if i could’ve been stronger, if i could’ve saved all of those people—don’t you think i would do it in an instant? don’t you think i know that because i wasn’t strong enough, people died?” 
this is the thing you've feared since you were eighteen, a brand new person responsible for two little lives. you've feared satoru's moral commitment since before you met him. since you saw him destroy a curse in an instant and realized he was different than everyone else. 
“megumi isn’t you! he doesn’t need to be taught to take on the responsibility of everyone’s lives—“ 
“you can’t say that i’m selfish, that i don’t care, and then say that i care too much,” he says, shaking his head, unable to look at you. 
he hasn't been able to look you in the eye in weeks. 
“you’re both!" you say, almost yelling. "you’re everything. and you don’t think! you haven’t thought for a moment about what megumi might be feeling, who he might want to be—“ 
“and you have? what about what you want him to be?” 
“i want him to be happy! i want him to grow up better than i ever did. i don’t want him chasing a bunch of cursed spirits around on the weekend like it’s a normal thing—“ 
“it is normal. for us, it’s normal. for him, it’s normal.” 
you sigh, a weight on your chest, a burning in your throat. “well, maybe it shouldn’t be.” 
you're not going to start crying now. not with satoru watching, not when he gets to know just how much you care. 
satoru scoffs. “so you’d just have everyone defend themselves--" 
"i don't know how you're arrogant enough to believe that you can save everyone--"
"--you’d just forget that we’re strong for a reason, that we--“ 
“but you’re never going to be strong enough, satoru. never.” 
satoru stares at you. he doesn’t say a thing, doesn’t hesitate, and doesn’t bother to argue. 
and after a moment he turns around. you reach your hand out to grab him--hold onto him and keep him here, because this isn't finished, and you're not done with him. you haven't even started. 
but you run into a wall. you look down and your hand is dangling idly in front of his arm, stuck in the air. 
you can't see satoru's eyes, but you can feel his heart--your heart--as it skips a beat in realization. 
but then satoru shakes you off, pushes you infinitely farther away from infinity, and keeps going. 
he walks out the door, slamming it shut.
you stand there for a moment, watching. you wait for the door to open again, for satoru to come back, for him to laugh--tell you that everything's fine, that it'll all be fine. that it's okay if you're angry, that he doesn't care. 
but after a minute, he doesn't return. 
and after another, you have to lean against the counter. your hand burns--but maybe that's just your imagination. you're pretty sure that infinity has no drawbacks, that there's no consequence for touching, for not touching satoru. 
pretty sure. 
but you still look over your skin, trying to see if he's left some mark. it would be nice to have some evidence of what he's done to you. you clench your fist, but the feeling doesn't go away. 
and maybe it's not your hand. maybe it's your chest. maybe it's these weeks of feeling separated, feeling miles apart from him, feeling like it's all your fault that any of this has happened. 
you... you can't even remember what you were arguing about. 
you feel like a kid again, hiding yourself in your room just so your parents don't have to deal with you. you feel like that little girl who hid in the cupboards, trying to escape the monsters that no one else could see. you feel like that smaller, reckless version of yourself that left home at the first chance, who knew she wasn't allowed back. 
are you allowed here? you wonder. is it going to happen again? are these monsters--real and fake--too much for your family to handle again? 
you exhale, trying to catch your breath again. none of this feels right, normal, easy. 
should you--should you call him? should you wait for him to come back? 
is he going to come back? 
the slam of the door is still echoing throughout the house when they creep down the hallway, making sure their footsteps are soft, but also loud enough for you to hear. 
maybe you've only been standing there, waiting for satoru to turn around, for thirty seconds. 
but it feels like an hour. 
"mom?" a tiny voice asks, and both of them are turning around the corner, taking hesitant steps towards you. 
you have to swallow. you need some water, an icepack maybe, to get rid of the burning feeling in your throat. the telltale signs that you're going to cry--that you've suffered blows to the core, and you can't backtrack now. 
but you don't want to cry in front of them. you refuse to. if you didn't want to cry in front of satoru, you won't cry in front of the kids. 
so you turn around, swallow again, and fill a glass of water. 
you chug it down, wanting it to wash away that feeling, that ache. 
you can't say anything just yet because then you'll actually fall apart. 
megumi and tsumiki watch you, both of them silent as they wait for your direction. for some solution you should have. 
you take a deep breath, then turn, almost faltering when you see the worried look on both of their faces, the concern in their eyes. neither of them should have to worry about this. 
god, how could you forget that they were there? that they could hear everything? 
how could you make another mistake? 
"hey, guys," you say, clearing your throat. you want to be nonchalant, and casual, but you've never been either a day in your life. 
"where did gojo go?" 
"i, um," you take another sip of water, because that feeling crawls up your throat, makes itself known again. "i think he went on a walk." 
"is he okay?" tsumiki asks. 
"are you okay?" megumi follows. 
"yeah, he's fine. he's good. i--he just needed some space, you know? um... a break." 
"from us?" 
your eyes widen. "no, no, no. of course not, never you guys. he's... just been busy this week. working a lot. and, i, well, he's good. we're good." 
megumi leans on the counter next to you, looking at you very closely. "are you okay?" he repeats. 
"i'm good, megs. it's..." you smile. "it's fine. um, did satoru get you anything to eat while you were out? i'm not sure what we've got, but i can make something if you--" 
"when is he going to be back?" 
you stop, sighing. you shouldn't have taught either of them how to read emotions, or how to eavesdrop. you shouldn't be speaking to anyone, or trusted with anything. 
"i'm not sure, buddy. he'll be back when he's ready." 
"is he going to stay out all night?" tsumiki asks, worried. 
"no, i'm sure--" you stop again. "gojo will be back in time for bed, okay?" 
they're both staring at you, waiting for you to say something profound, something to make it actually okay. 
but you have nothing. is satoru going to come back? is he going to stay somewhere else? you know he'll exhaust himself just to avoid coming home-- 
this is why you shouldn't have moved in--
this is why you never should've agreed to this, allowed himself to burrow a hole in your heart, in your soul-- 
"hey," megumi takes a step towards you. and then, before you can blink the tears out of your eyes, reassure him that it's fine, his arms are around your waist. 
he nuzzles his face into your side, squeezing tighter than you thought a little boy could. 
theres only a second of this before tsumiki's on your other side, and squeezing just as hard. 
your hands fall on both of their backs, and you take a breath that feels more like never breathing again. your lungs won't fill, and your chest is incomplete
but they stand there with you, and eventually, your heart begins to match theirs, and their little hands keep you together. 
you can't cry, but you really want to. 
*
satoru's entire body feels different. 
he knows what it's lacking, the changes he's made in a short period of time--giving himself no time to acclimate, no pause where he slowly adapts to the differences. 
he misses you. 
it's been like this before--when suguru left and satoru couldn't bear to look at himself in the mirror, nonetheless you in the eyes--but it's never felt so severe. 
because you're right there. you've been there every day, waking him up, making the kids breakfast, laughing when megumi bullies him, smiling at tsumiki's attempts at mediating. 
you're there in the morning, in the afternoon, and every night. you're right there for him--and he can't say a word. 
he doesn't want this, this thing to be real. 
denial is his favorite emotion, and recently, he can't even muster the strength to go through with it.
and now, he feels even more hopeless, lacking, never ever enough. 
but he walks through the door because he has nowhere else to go. he has no other home--besides the three of you. 
it's dark outside when he comes back, and the door is unlocked, so he knows that you've been waiting. that you had to deal with the aftermath of shouted voices and scared children who he felt lurking behind a wall before he got the chance to think about any of it.
he needs to talk to you. satoru knows that, he really does. but he's not sure what to say. 
he could apologize for tonight--could tell you that he won't make any more decisions, that he won't wreck this thing you've built--but it's not enough. 
he should probably apologize for the last seven years. for letting himself grow attached to you, and then continue to hold you at arms length. he should probably apologize for being himself, for being less than he could be. 
but those words feel too rotten to say aloud. 
so, when he walks up to your door, waiting to feel your obvious presence--to see it, like he always does, the wall of cursed energy that you are--he feels like running away again. 
you don't even need to know that he's home. satoru could go to bed, and he could probably pretend that nothing happened in the morning and you would follow along. 
but he doesn't want to do that. not to you. 
and he needs to see you, needs to say something before he figures it all out--should he leave, or stay? should he continue to push you away to protect you? should he tell you all of it? 
it doesn't matter, he knows, because he probably won't be able to do any of it. 
and for the first time in years, satoru makes sure to knock before he opens your door. just a small repetition of his knuckles, but he might as well be breaking down a tradition. 
there's no answer, but he's not waiting, so he creaks the door open, looking for you immediately. 
and he sees you, lying in bed. 
and he sees your shoulders shaking slightly, with you curled up in the fetal position, and he can hear the sniffle before the door is all the way open. 
there's no choice, he knows. he's not going to let you cry yourself to sleep without saying anything. he's not going to leave you alone. 
you don't turn around, but satoru knows that you must know he's there. he walks across the floor, sitting at the edge of your bed, waiting for you to turn to him. 
and yell, maybe. tell him to leave again. tell him that you don't want to look at him anymore. 
but you don't move. your shaking is slightly stifled, and satoru can tell that you're trying to keep your breathing low, to keep him from noticing you cry. 
it's foolish, really, because satoru hasn't missed a single detail about you since he was seventeen. 
he doesn't say anything, but it's a natural reflex to tap your legs, to stand and slip off his shoes, gently pushing you off of the edge of the bed, towards the middle. 
and then he's laying there, curling his limbs around yours, arms wrapping around your waist, pulling you into him. 
immediately, there's a release somewhere inside of him. that yearning--that ridiculous need is finally satiated. 
satoru swallows. he needs to say something, he knows, but he's not sure what. should he apologize right now? should he tell you that he hates it when you cry--that he never feels more desperate to be more than in moments like this? 
should he whisper that he loves you, just to get it off his chest? 
but you cough, body shuttering as you relax into him, never pushing him away. and your voice is so small when you say, "you can't leave." 
satoru feels the pieces of him crack into even more. 
he tries to hold you tighter, but you move in his hold, turning so that you're facing him, and you nuzzle your face into his neck--trying to hide, but making sure that he's there. 
your hands cling onto him, leaving marks.
he can feel your tears against his skin, your entire body on overdrive. 
"you can't leave," you repeat, voice breaking. satoru feels it against the very outline of his soul. 
"okay," he says, quickly. "i won't." 
"i can't lose you too." 
he pales, body going still. his heart might stop for a moment. "you won't. i'm not going anywhere." he sighs. "i'm sorry." 
"i can't--" you're still crying, and you begin to shake again. "i can't do this without you. i won't." 
"you don't have to." 
"you can't leave, satoru," you say, leaning up to meet his eyes--yours glistening with years full of hurt, a lifetime of secrets and unsaid words. "please don't leave." 
"i won't," he repeats, feeling a bit desperate. what can he say to prove to you that he's not like everyone else? that he would trap you within his atoms, if he could? that he would stay in this bed, holding you, even if it meant nothing, forever? 
there's nothing, he knows. nothing but the truth. but that doesn't come out--it can't, now. it's not the right time. 
so instead, satoru wipes the tears from your face, even though they're replaced immediately, your breath coming in short, short bursts. he wraps his arm around your back, pulling you back to him again. 
"i'm sorry," you whisper against his skin, so quietly that he can barely hear it. 
"i'm not going anywhere," he answers. 
and, just for tonight, it's enough. 
he'll fix the rest of it tomorrow. 
*
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alltheirdamn · 26 days
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Killing Me Softly | (Joel Miller x teacher!f!reader)
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Chap. 1 : Your Name
Series Summary: You've nursed a broken heart for two years. ‘Love’ felt like a foreign term, but maybe it wasn’t so far out of reach. Chap. 1 Summary: When you catch the eye of your students' dad at a school dance, he starts showing up everywhere. Rating: 18+ MDNI (for the future smut) Word Count: 6.8k Warnings: pre-outbreak AU, age gap (joel is 36 reader is 27), no smut (yet), sexual tension, flirting, pining, mentions of alcohol, language, angst, reader's last name is 'Smith' for no other purpose than the fact she is a teacher A/N: This will definitely be a slow-burn fic, so please hang tight!! Tropes include: second chance at love, strangers to lovers, secret relationship, etc. I'm actually so excited about this one, so I hope you guys stick around to see where it goes :')
Masterlist
PROLOGUE
You never thought you’d be the girl sitting at the steps of an abandoned altar with your wedding dress covered in mud from the rain.
 Just minutes before you were supposed to take your first steps down the aisle, your fiancé fled. You watched the blur of his suit in the distance as he ran through the rain and left your family and friends in shock. Motionless at the back of the rows of chairs, you dropped your bouquet and stood in heartbreaking silence as the cords of the violins faded into the air. Your parents and siblings swarmed around you, trying to break the paralysis that kept your eyes locked on the vacant spot under the archway and steps of what would have been the place you said your vows. You still had them in your hand; the words scribbled neatly on a folded paper torn from your journal. You’d never get the chance to say those words aloud; he never would have deserved them, anyway. 
The ring sat heavily on your finger now as you watched it glisten under the pelting rain. Your dress clung to your body in layers of silk and lace, a taunting reminder of who you had become for a man unworthy of your love and devotion. 
Five years together, all stripped away in a matter of minutes. 
You’d never love again. 
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“Everyone’s gotta do it,” Maria sighed as she stood at the student drop-off with you.
By ‘it,’ she meant chaperoning the father-daughter dance later in the week, which you seriously wanted no part of. You had been through enough school dances in your three years working at the middle school, and you were tired of watching pre-teens grinding on each other to god-awful music. You had better things to do with your Friday nights, like sitting on the couch with a pint of ice cream and a horror movie playing in the background—you’d sworn off rom-coms long ago.
“Yeah, I know,” you grumbled, waving another line of kids across the road. 
You watched as they trudged across the crosswalk with their backpacks slung over their shoulders, eyes bright and broad at the realization school was over for the day. If only they were that chipper in class, maybe you’d have an easier time teaching them how to write three-point essays. 
Maria chirped goodbye to each one as they passed, her cheeks pinched with a fake smile only you could recognize. You knew she loved the kids but loved the final school bell even more. You, on the other hand, hated it. The end of school was just another reminder that you’d go back to an empty home and an empty life. 
Two years had passed since Bennett ran from your wedding ceremony—two years without closure or an answer. By the time you had pieced yourself together and returned home from the would-have-been ceremony, his things were gone, and the house filled with the ghost of his presence. Your in-laws went radio silent, avoiding all calls and emails from you until they eventually moved out of state and changed numbers. The hours leading up to the ceremony would forever be a mystery as to why he left, and you would spend the rest of your life fighting for an answer as to why you weren’t good enough to love. 
Dragging you from your thoughts, Maria bumped you with her hip, giving you a concerned look. You shook away the memories and returned her stare with a fake smile you had mastered over the last two years. You couldn’t even remember the last time you had genuinely smiled or laughed without feeling the force of a facade washing over you. Concealing the pain of it all made it easier; maybe if you believed you were okay, you’d start feeling okay. But you never did. Not even the countless hours of therapy had helped reconcile the person you once were. Bennett had left and taken every vulnerable part of you with him, leaving nothing but a raw and broken shell in his wake. 
“You’re doing it again,” Maria scolded. 
“Doing what?” You asked, already aware of the answer.
“Wallowing. You really should get back out there again.”
You focused on the next grouping of kids setting out to cross the street, your hand instinctively coming up to hold the passing cars at a standstill. You plastered on a fake smile as they waved goodbye to you, and you glanced back at Maria once they finally stepped foot on the next sidewalk.
“I’m not interested,” you stated. “I’m fine on my own.”
Her eyebrow lifted as if challenging your blasé response. Your answer always remained the same, yet Maria relentlessly attempted to change your mind.
“You’ve got to at least try. What if there’s already someone out there just waiting for you?”
“Maria, I promise no one is waiting for me.”
“I wish you’d just give it a shot. You deserve to be happy.”
You had heard that phrase often over the last couple of years; a pitying tone always accompanied the words. People loved to soothe you with words that held no weight or purpose. You learned to nod along to their sympathies and turn a deaf ear to their suggestions of what you deserved. 
The final round of kids made their way toward the line of parents waiting in their cars, and you followed Maria back to your classrooms to clean up before leaving for the day. Her words stuck with you on the quiet drive home; the radio wasn’t enough to drown out that taunting voice in your head reminding you that you’d never be enough. 
Your single-story house was nestled into an older neighborhood of Austin, only a handful of miles from the middle school. You’d argue that the house was the best thing to come out of the failed engagement; its personality stood firm against the other houses with a vibrant shade of blue painted over its wooden panels and wrap-around porch. You spent the last few months sprucing up the front yard, planting rose bushes and trees to liven up the house. It hadn’t fixed all your problems but pacified them temporarily as you dirtied your hands in the soil. 
It became second nature to shut your garage immediately after putting your car in park. You didn’t want the typical neighborly interactions or shallow conversations. You were content with living between closed doors and drawn curtains. The less of an interaction with the world, the better. 
Dropping your purse and work bag on the kitchen counter, you sunk onto a barstool, staring blankly at the fridge and knowing all too well there was hardly anything inside it. You’d settle for another frozen meal and glass of wine, a typical meal these days to satisfy a hunger you no longer had. Despite the colorful kitchen cabinets, the mustard yellow couch in the living room, and the obscure wallpaper…your life was dull. How could one person suck out all the energy from another human being? How could pain last this long? 
You stabbed a fork into the TV dinner meal before you and wondered if you’d ever feel happy again. 
**
You managed to survive another week of teaching, only to now be standing in the shadows of the school gymnasium, nursing an overly sweet fruit punch. The PTA had done a decent job of turning the space into a somewhat realistic dance floor: string lights hung corner to corner of the ceiling, a DJ booth in the center of the basketball court, and colorful balloons circled the air. You spotted a few of your students dancing with their fathers, their eyes squeezed shut from their too-wide smiles and bubbling laughter. A foreign ache in your chest reminded you how you would have had a father-daughter dance at your wedding. Your father even took it upon himself to brush up on dance lessons to sway you across the floor to some overly emotional song. As corny as it was, you had been looking forward to that moment throughout your engagement. 
“Look who got all dolled up!” Maria hollered as she strolled over, fruit punch in hand.
“I would hardly call this dolled up,” you said, tugging at the hem of your dress.
You only had a handful of dresses in your closet, this particular one being a flowy black cocktail dress with a halter top and ruffled skirt. It was barely passing the school dress code, so you decided to pair it with a low kitten heel to try and deter the admin’s scrutiny. You did, however, spend a little more time than usual on your makeup and hair, hoping if you looked pretty, then maybe you’d feel it, too.
“You’re too hard on yourself,” Maria sighed.
“You look great,” you said, sidestepping her lecture.
Maria had chosen a plum floor-length maxi dress decorated with embroidered blue flowers. Her curly hair was pinned in a bun, and several sparkly barrettes were clipped to the side. Her makeup was no different from usual: a rosy red lip and simple mascara with a hint of blush on her cheeks. 
“Really, Maria. You do.”
“Well, thank you,” she blushed, looking back toward the room full of bodies dancing.
Your eyes followed hers, settling on the duos as they swayed to a slow song. Every father was dressed up in some sort of button-up or the occasional suit except for one—the same one who happened to be twirling around your student, Sarah Miller. You nudged Maria, pointing secretly at them with a questioning glance.
“Is that her dad?” You asked.
He wore a basic cotton T-shirt, jeans, and dirty work boots. There was barely any thought behind his appearance as if he had rolled up to the school right after a long shift at work, forgoing any effort or care. Some part of you hated him for it. The least he could do was get dressed up for a silly school dance, especially when Sarah wore a lavender tulle dress that complimented her olive skin tone. 
“Yup,” Maria elongated the word. “That’s Joel Miller.”
“Sure looks like he doesn’t care to be here,” you grumbled.
Maria barked a laugh, looking at you through narrowed eyes.
“As opposed to you?” She questioned. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but weren’t you bitching about this dance all week long?”
“Well, at least I put some effort into my looks tonight,” you defended.
You glanced back at Sarah, seeing her father twirl her one last time. You caught a glimpse of his face for the first time in the flow of his movements. Messy dark curls framed his head, curling in every which way as if he’d run his hand through them a million times. Even from a distance, you could see the patchy beard and short mustache covering the lower half of his face, alongside the several creases around his eyes as he smiled.  And his eyes… They looked like big brown saucers under the lights, reflecting a genuine softness as he watched his daughter dance. 
And then they snapped up to meet your gaze through the crowd as if you had silently called out to him. Everything slowed around you for a moment as he studied you from afar, his eyes drifting down your body and back up with a hint of a smile teasing his lips. A rush of heat crawled up your neck, and you broke the eye contact between you. Maria cleared her throat beside you, tearing you away from the man holding your sincere interest. 
“What was that?” Maria chirped. 
You shook your head, glancing between her curious face and the dancefloor. Joel had since moved on, steering Sarah toward the refreshment table. He never once looked back at you, which left you unexplainably disappointed. For a moment in time, someone looked at you and saw you. 
“I–I don’t know,” you stuttered. “Probably nothing.”
“It looked like something.”
You turned to face Maria, a scowl twisting up your lips entirely. You were tired of her pushing nonexistent things on you, and that’s what this was— nonexistent. Whatever moment between you and Joel had gone as quickly as it came. You were done with the night and standing among so many cheerful people. You couldn’t stand it any longer. 
“I think I’m going to take off,” you announced, placing your half-drunk fruit punch on the table behind you. 
Maria was defeated, knowing you'd still leave no matter what she said. Stalking out of the gymnasium, you grabbed your purse from the teacher's booth and booked it to your car with your heels in your hands. You carefully walked along the sidewalk toward your car, catching a conversation drifting through the wind between the other vehicles. 
“...Dad, you promised we’d watch movies tomorrow!”
“I know, sweetheart, but Uncle Tommy needs help on the job sight.”
You hid between two cars, listening to their voices bounce back and forth. It wasn’t until you peeked out to see the two figures that you realized it was Sarah and her father, Joel. For fucks sake. You tiptoed around the car's bumper beside you, attempting to make a getaway before either of them saw you. You must have done a terrible job because Sarah called your name as you edged closer to your car.
“Miss Smith!”
“Shit,” you muttered to yourself. 
With your purse in one hand and heels in the other, you turned toward them with your rehearsed fake smile. Sarah was standing beside her dad—Joel—a small smile shining up at you. You knew her usual upbeat personality in class, always laughing and joking with other kids. She was an A+ student, too, and her work showcased her smartness. But in her father's shadow, a distinct sadness clouded her eyes. 
“Hello, Sarah! How did you like the dance?” You asked. 
“It was really fun,” she grinned, forcing her smile wider. You saw through it. 
“I’m glad you enjoyed it.”
Joel cleared his throat, extending a large hand toward you. You blinked at his open palm, afraid of making that same startling eye contact as you had in the gymnasium. Shuffling your purse into your other hand, you took his into yours, focusing on the warmth of his grip crawling up your skin. His fingers dwarfed your own, tightening around your hand until you were forced to look up finally. 
“S’nice to finally meet you, Mrs. Smith,” he said, his thick Southern accent shining through.
“Miss Smith,” you corrected. It was hard to hide the bitterness in the statement. 
“Miss Smith,” he echoed. “I’m Joel, Sarah’s dad.”
His eyes still hadn’t left yours, their piercing stare making you shiver despite the September humidity. You pulled your hand away, overly aware of how his fingers lingered a moment too long. Shifting your weight from one leg to another, you were starting to feel the asphalt dig into the soles of your feet. 
“It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Miller,” you replied.
“Joel,” he insisted.
You nodded politely, giving him another faltering smile. Hauling your purse over your shoulder, you said a soft goodbye to them and bolted to your car. In the confines of the driver's seat, you rested your head against the wheel, inhaling deeply as you steadied the nerves inside your body. Why did such a simple interaction light up your body with emotions you had spent so long suppressing? And why did Joel’s smile haunt you even when your eyes were shut?
Forcing your keys into the ignition, you tore out of the school parking lot and back to the confines of your tiny blue home. 
The weekends were usually filled with nothing more than grading papers and lesson planning. The coffee beside you on the kitchen counter had gone cold hours ago as the morning sunlight faded into the afternoon. Through tired eyes, you glanced up at the oven clock: 2 pm. You needed a break from reading through piles of essays, and your fridge desperately required replenishing. Grabbing your keys off the counter, you forfeited any plans of changing out of your sweat set and headed to the supermarket.
The packed parking lot and crowded store were daunting reminders of why you typically decided to leave your fridge vacant. But as you pushed your shopping cart down each aisle, you had no choice but to comply with your basic human needs and stock up on miscellaneous food you would want throughout the week. Rounding down the next aisle, your eyes caught on a tall figure standing in front of the bakery section, his face scrutinizing every cake in the display case. Shit. 
You tried—and failed—to maneuver your way into the next aisle, somehow crashing into an older woman’s cart, forcing her carton of eggs to fall and smash onto the linoleum floor.
“Dammit,” you hissed, crouching down to try and help them clean up the shattered eggshells.
“S’alright, sweetheart,” she assured. “I’ll just holler for a worker to come clean it up.”
“No, I—I can help,” you stammered, fingers still running over the broken yolks spreading across the floor.
“Miss Smith?” You heard a deep voice above you.
Your head snapped up to see Joel standing above you; his forehead creased with concern. The woman you had crashed into was already down the next aisle looking for a store employee, leaving you alone with a mess you had caused. Joel crouched beside you, his hands folding over yours to slow your frantic cleaning.
“It’s alright, I got it!” You snapped, pulling your hands back.
“Just tryna’ help,” he said. “That’s all.”
“It’s my fault. I can fix it.” 
You had said those words to yourself many times before, and never once did they prove true. 
“Someone will come and clean this up; you ain’t gotta do all that,” Joel said softly. “C’mon.”
He offered a hand, which you took reluctantly, leaving you both standing awkwardly in front of the mess. You shifted your gaze downward, too afraid to meet those deep brown eyes that had plagued you the night before. 
“Hey,” Joel said in a soft tone. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah,” you mumbled.
“Doesn’t seem like it.”
You huffed a sigh, gripping the handles of your cart to start moving. Today was going downhill rapidly, and you only wanted to go home and hole yourself away…like you always did.
“I, uh, was tryna’ pick out a birthday cake,” he rambled. “S’my birthday tomorrow, and Sarah wants to make sure I have a cake, ya’know? Any ideas on what she might like? I’m not sure if y’all ever have parties at school with sweets and all that.”
Your eyes snapped to his, a scowl forming on your face. Sarah’s dad was asking you what she liked? He was proving to be worse and worse by the second. But you were her teacher and needed to hold your tongue.
“I’m sure she’ll enjoy anything,” you said, a tight smile forming. “Happy birthday, Mr. Miller.”
His eyebrows furrowed together, clearly seeing through the mask you put on. It was infuriating how easily he had wove his way through your bloodstream, even in just twenty-four hours. 
“Joel,” he insisted. “You don’t need to do all that formal stuff.”
“I kind of do,” you laughed. “You’re my students’ father; that’s how I’m supposed to address you.”
“S’all I’m sayin’ is that you’re free to call me Joel. No harm in it.”
There was a lot of harm in it. 
You didn’t know what else to say, so you dipped your head to say goodbye and pushed your cart past him. You weren’t being the kindest nor the most respectful person, but your anger was at a low simmer. Any longer around him, and you might explode. You weren’t used to someone getting under your skin like he was. And the worst part was that he wasn’t even trying. You couldn’t understand why you reacted so strongly. 
“Miss Smith!” Joel called, catching up as you moved down the next aisle.
You inhaled and stopped walking, mustering another fake smile to appease him. He gripped the side of your cart with a large hand, a simple gesture to keep you firmly in place. Clearly, he decided when the conversation was over.
“Yes, Mr. Miller?”
“Did I do somethin’ to upset you? ‘Cause I swear, I didn’t mean anything inappropriate by what I said back there. 
“No, no, you’re fine,” you lied. “Just having a bad day, that's all.” That wasn’t a lie.
Joel ran a hand over his neck, studying you quietly for a moment. Something about the atmosphere around him was intoxicating and so fucking dangerous. 
“Well, I’m sorry ‘bout that. Guess I was just tryna’ make small talk, and clearly, I ain’t doin’ a good job.”
“It’s fine—no need for apologies. I hope the cake and birthday celebration go well. I’m sure Sarah will tell me all about it on Monday.”
His eyes shifted over you again, lingering on your lips, set in a firm smile. You tried your best to hide the shiver that ran up your back as he drank you in. 
“Y’probably think I’m a terrible dad, huh?” He sighed.
“What?” You blinked away the thoughts swarming your head.
“I mean, I know you probably heard us arguin’ last night, and I’m out here asking her teacher what her favorite kind of cake is. You ain’t gotta be polite about it. I know I’m not doin’ the best job,” he confessed.
“Mr. Miller, I don’t think that at all. I just think maybe asking your wife would be more helpful than asking me.”
That garnered a laugh from him, a genuine and sincere laugh.
“Never had a wife to begin with. Sarah’s mom left us when she was only a year old,” he explained. “Been doin’ it all on my own.”
“Oh.” Dammit, you really were a bitch. 
“Trust me, I get it. I could do a better job, bein’ a dad and all that. I’m tryin’.”
“I think you’re doing just fine,” you said. “I’m sorry I didn’t know.”
He brushed it off, replacing the sad look cresting his eyes with a lopsided grin. You wanted to hate it, but your body reacted traitorously. You felt the softness in his gaze crawl over you, slowly replacing the anger coursing through your veins with something else…something you hadn’t felt in a long time. No one had looked at you that way since—well, since Bennett. Even if Joel was only being friendly, you were drawn to the charm he exuded. Dangerous, you reminded yourself.
“Anyway,” he continued. “I won’t hold ya’ up any longer. I hope your day gets better, Miss Smith.”
“Thank you,” you replied. “And Happy birthday, again.”
Joel’s eyes settled on your lips again as you talked, and you felt your cheeks warm under his gaze. His eyes flicked back up to yours, a flash of something behind them, and you were ready to bolt. He muttered a thank you and left you standing in a vacant aisle, your hands still covered in egg yolks and your mind reeling.
It was hard to maintain your good mood once Monday rolled around. Seeing Sarah sitting in class was an unwelcome reminder of your interaction with Joel on Saturday, and you had to refrain from overstepping boundaries and asking about his birthday. She didn’t need to know you cared, even though you struggled not to care. You wondered what kind of cake he decided on, how old he turned if he blushed when she sang Happy Birthday. Every thought burned a hole in your head that you tried to patch up and forget. 
The final bell rang for the day, and the kids began to pack up in a rush. You straightened out the papers lining your desk, avoiding eye contact with Sarah as she slung her backpack over her shoulders and lined up to leave. Grabbing your whistle and bottle of water, you followed them toward the front gates, taking your usual place alongside Maria—who was overly chipper for a Monday.
“Soooo,” she prodded. “How was your weekend?”
“Uneventful,” you lied, walking with her to the crosswalk. 
“You really need to go out and have fun! You’re young, and you need to enjoy your 20s!” She exasperated. 
“Maria, I’m 27,” you groaned. “My 20s are practically over.”
She folded her arms over her chest, leveling you with a heavy glare. Maria was in her late 40’s and clearly exuded a motherly-type attitude. You shifted your focus to the kids crossing the road, watching as they reunited with their parents. 
“We go out on Wednesdays for Happy Hour! Join us this week,” she suggested.
“I don’t know,” you sighed.
“Come on!” Maria pressed. “If you hate it, I’ll never ask you to go out with us again.”
There was no point in arguing with her, so you relented and agreed to one night out. A few drinks and hours of mindless conversation could be good for you. It would be better than sitting in front of the TV with a bland meal and another glass of wine.
You managed to evade all thoughts of Joel somehow the next two days, putting all your time and energy into prepping your students for their first test of the year. Lesson planning and preparation took up your free period and late evenings, leaving you little room to think about those brown eyes and disarming smile. It was Wednesday evening, and you were knee-deep in your closet, trying to find an outfit for Happy Hour. You had changed at least five times, discarding every top and skirt onto your bedroom floor. Eventually, you gave up, settling on tight jeans, a flowy red blouse, and black flats. You left your hair in wavy curls over your shoulders and simple makeup to balance everything out. 
The group took their Happy Hour rituals to a local dive bar on the outskirts of town, a row of motorcycles and trucks lining the entrance. You felt a bit out of place walking into a smoke-hazed bar, with the patron's wandering eyes crawling over you, but you quickly picked out the huddle of teachers in the corner laughing over a round of beers. They welcomed you with bright smiles and hellos, offering to buy your first drink. After about an hour and a few drinks, you felt warm and far more relaxed. Conversations about quarterly goals and admin meetings flowed over the table, each teacher complaining about something. You chimed in when necessary, keeping quiet when you had nothing to contribute. You were on your fourth beer when the girls around you started whispering low about a group of men entering the bar. You stole a peek over your shoulder, eyes settling on the last person you wanted to see. 
Joel Miller.
He had on his usual simple work attire, the fabric of his cotton shirt stretched out over his broad chest. His neck was tanned, most likely from working outdoors, and his hair was just as unruly as you remembered. The man beside him, shorter but with similar features, clapped Joel on the back and steered him towards the bar. You lowered your head, taking a longer gulp of your drink to try and steady your nerves. Of all fucking places, he had to be here. 
“He’s just so handsome, isn’t he?” Maria nudged you, tossing back a look towards Joel.
You shrugged, feigning disinterest. Joel was handsome, but no one needed to know how you felt. Because what you felt was very, very confusing. 
“He’s my students’ father, Maria.”
She rolled her eyes, swirling the contents of her drinks before taking a sip. 
“Okay, and? There’s nothing inappropriate about dating a student’s parent.”
“Yes, there is,” you snapped. “And I’m not even considering dating him.”
“But you think he’s attractive,” she stated.
You didn’t want to respond to that, knowing the warmth in your cheeks was already enough of a giveaway. If you shrunk far enough into yourself, you might go unrecognized the rest of the night.
Maria thankfully dropped the subject, returning to the conversation around the table. After another hour, the ladies started to trickle out of the bar and home for the night. You, on the other hand, still had to wait a bit longer until the alcohol phased out of your body. Which meant you were sitting alone in the same space as Joel. You could feel his eyes on your back the longer you sat there, and to your detriment, decided to steal a glance over your shoulder. Joel’s eyes raked over your body, returning your stare with a soft, welcoming smile. Shit.
You watched as he slipped off the barstool, waltzing towards you with a beer clasped in his large hand. You tried so hard not to notice his thick fingers wrapped around the bottle, and you most definitely tried not to think of what his fingers would feel like inside—
“Miss Smith,” he greeted, silencing your awful thoughts.
“Mr. Miller,” you said.
“Are all these formalities necessary in a bar?” he teased. 
“A couple of drinks won’t change my mind.”
Joel slid into the seat beside you without an invitation, his arm brushing against yours as he settled into the stool. It was instinct to flinch away, afraid of the reaction his touch would cause to your body. 
“What will change your mind?” he pressed, keeping a steady gaze on you.
“Nothing,” you shrugged, deciding to change the subject. “How was your birthday?”
Joel ran a hand through his hair, that stupid lopsided grin forming on his lips. 
“Can’t say I love gettin’ old, but celebratin’ was sure nice.”
“And how old are you, Mr. Miller?”
“Ripe age of thirty-six, Miss Smith,” he grinned. 
“What cake did you choose?” you asked, watching him take a long sip of his beer. 
“Vanilla. Everyone’s gotta love vanilla, right?” 
Was he… flirting with you? 
You’d blame your following response on the beers coursing through your bloodstream, but truthfully, you just wanted to play along, even only for a moment. 
“Hmm, I don’t know. I don’t always love vanilla, Mr. Miller.”
Joel’s eyes darkened, falling to your lips as you took another drink. It was bold and stupid of you to say that, but at this point, you didn’t care. 
“What other flavors do you like?” 
He leaned forward in his chair, his thigh pressing against yours. The heat of his body and the smell of smoke on his clothes was a dangerous combination for your self-restraint.  
“I have a few guilty pleasure flavors,” you smirked.
Joel’s hand damn near crushed the bottle when you said those words, his entire body tensing beside you. You couldn’t care at that moment about how you spoke; the drinks started speaking for themselves. You hadn’t dared to flirt with a man since Bennett left, too afraid of what falling in love again might do to you. But, for some reason, flirting with Joel felt so simple. He was older than you, and maybe that piqued your interest, knowing he was far more mature than anyone else you had considered. 
“Indulge me, Miss Smith,” he whispered. 
“I think I’ll leave it a mystery,” you whispered in return. “I’ve already said too much as it is.”
“I reckon you ain’t said enough,” he countered. 
Heat flared through your neck and face as he leaned in closer, his face only inches from yours. This had gone too far. You had broken any rules you had previously set in place, and now you were dancing on a fragile line between professionalism and indecency. 
Glancing at the clock above the bar, you watched as the hands ticked closer to midnight. Just like in the fairytales, your time was up. Back to reality. 
“It’s getting late,” you started. “I should get home.”
Joel’s demeanor shifted, and his grin faltered as he watched you rise from the barstool. He brushed his hand over your arm, barring you from walking away. 
“Not real sure if you should be drivin’ home yet, Miss Smith. Y’had a few drinks tonight,” Joel protested.
“How do you know? Were you watching me?”
“Gotta make sure my daughter's teacher is safe. Who else’s gonna make sure she gets straight A’s?” 
He was trying to make light of the situation, but you knew better. You knew he had been watching you since he had arrived; his attention had never been on his group of friends. 
“I assure you, I’m fine,” you argued. “You go enjoy your night with your friends, Mr. Miller.”
Joel’s brows furrowed as he considered you. His hand still lingered on your arm, thick fingers flexing against your skin. You glanced between his hand and his eyes, trying to make sense of his intentions. This was far past a coincidental run-in; this was a strange desire out of reach. 
“Can I drive you home at least?” He asked. 
“I’m okay. Thank you, though.”
“Can I at least drive behind you to make sure you make it alright?” He offered.
You looked back toward the bar, seeing the man he walked in with staring at you with an apparent scowl.
“I don’t think that’s fair to your friend,” you said.
Joel peered around you and huffed loudly. 
“That’s my brother, Tommy. S’all good, he’s probably ready to hit the road, too.”
“He doesn’t look too happy.”
“He’s fine,” Joel grumbled.
Tommy noticed you both staring at him and decided to join the mix. He walked up with a grin despite the scowl he had just worn and extended his hand to you.
“I’m Tommy. Joel’s brother.”
“Hi, I’m Sarah’s teacher.” You gave him a quick shake and tried to sidestep to leave.
“Wait!” Joel called out.
“I’m okay, Mr. Miller,” you tossed over your shoulder. “Be safe tonight.”
You made a beeline for the door, hoping to escape him before he reeled you back in. You let yourself float in his atmosphere for too long, testing the waters you knew were off-limits. There was still an alcohol-induced haze lingering in your head, but the sooner you could leave, the better. Tomorrow would come with a headache and a post-drunken clarity to put you back on the right track. You needed to steer clear of Joel before you slipped up and allowed another man inside the walls you built. 
You attempted to retrieve your keys from your purse, only to fumble them out of your hands and onto the dirt ground of the parking lot. 
“Fuck,” you groaned.
As you bent to pick them up, footsteps crunching on the ground grew closer. You already knew who it was.
“Miss Smith,” Joel’s voice sounded pained. 
“I’m fine!” you shouted, whipping your head around to find him nearly toe-to-toe with you. 
The moonlight above you illuminated his brown eyes, which darkened the longer he looked down at you. You shrunk away, letting your body hit the driver's side of your door while Joel stepped closer. 
“Please. You shouldn’t be drivin’ right now. Lettin’ you leave like this wouldn’t be right of me.”
Your only focus was on his lips as he talked. The plushness of his lips enticed you, leaving you imagining how soft they’d feel pressed against yours. Your control was slipping, and the alcohol was pulsing faster in your veins. 
“You’re not going to give up, are you?” You wondered aloud. 
Joel looked at you like he knew the layers of the question. He knew what battle you were fighting inside and saw the fear plastered on your face.
“No,” he whispered softly.
Your eyes bounced between his eyes and his lips, trying to grasp the moment's weight. You needed to be firm and say no; your future self would thank you for it. Gripping your keys, you exhaled and turned towards your car door. 
“Have a good night, Mr. Miller,” you tossed over your shoulder. 
The warmth of his body pressed against your back, the smell of smoke and liquor wrapping around you and enveloping you in a cocoon of temptation. Joel’s hands reached around to grab your keys from your shaking hand, dangling them between you and the car. 
“M’taking you home, Miss Smith. Ain’t gonna argue anymore,” he said as his mouth fell to the shell of your ear. 
“I’m—.”
“Don’t,” he interjected. “Go to my truck.”
He had the exact tone you did when you reprimanded your students, but the deep rasp of his accent made it all the more inviting. You didn’t want to listen to his demands, but you were getting nowhere successfully. Joel sidestepped to free you of the cage he had you in, watching you intently as you sulked to his truck. It wasn’t hard to know which one it was; only a few cars were left, and the truck exuded the same masculinity as the owner. 
“What about my car?” You protested, folding your arms across your body as you leaned against the truck. 
“I’ll give Tommy the keys,” he said. “He’ll drive it behind us.”
You were about to ramble another slew of protests when Joel yanked the passenger side door open and tilted his head toward the interior. 
“Get in.”
His tone left little room for arguing, so you did as he said without another word. Despite the anger radiating off his body, Joel shut the door softly before heading back into the bar. 
You fidgeted with the seatbelt, the press of it against your chest not strong enough to stabilize the rhythm of your heartbeat. You were in his truck, meaning you’d be alone with him for the next several minutes. It was enough to force a roll of nausea through your stomach. Leaning your head against the window, you watched him reemerge from the bar with Tommy in tow. There was a clear expression of annoyance etched on Tommy’s face, all at the cost of your own stubbornness. 
Joel tossed him the keys to your car before rounding the truck's hood and climbing into the driver’s seat. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him, so you kept your eyes on the road as it blurred past with each passing mile. 
“Where do you live?” he asked, passing through another vacant green light. 
You rambled off your address, still keeping your gaze steady on the streetlights as they passed by your window. He didn’t attempt to make small talk after that, and the silence settled onto you like a heavy blanket. Your control of consciousness was slipping the longer you sat beside him, but you willed yourself awake. The streets started to become familiar, and you shifted in your seat. Taking a risk, you looked at Joel, finding him white-knuckling the wheel with his jaw clenched. 
“I’m sorry,” you muttered. “I—I don’t go out and drink normally. I should have just stayed home tonight.”
“S’okay,” he said, glancing at you. “Just don’t get why you’re so stubborn about askin’ for help. First at the supermarket and now at the bar. I don’t get it.”
A rush of tears stung your eyes, and you quickly looked away, trying to blink them back before he noticed. Joel’s hand fell onto your thigh, sending a jolt of shock through your body. You wanted to shy away from it, but there was no use in fighting at this point; you were already failing miserably. 
“Hey,” he prodded. “Shit, I’m sorry. Don’t cry, alright?”
You swiped away the tears running from your eyes, schooling your emotions back into a state of numbness. Your little blue house came into view, and you pointed a tired finger toward it to guide him in the right direction. 
“This is me,” you sniffled. 
“Big ol’ house, Miss Smith. Y’live here alone?”
“Yeah,” you exhaled. “Thanks for the ride, Mr. Miller.”
“I really wish you’d stop callin’ me that,” he sighed, parking his car at your home's fence.
“It’s all formalities.”
“Yeah, I know. I just think after tonight, we’re far past all them formalities and shit.”
Your hand lingered on the door handle as you took one last look at him. Joel’s eyes looked over you with a softness you didn’t deserve. You deserve to be happy. Maria’s words rang out in your head the longer you stared at him. ‘Happy’ was a foreign word to you now, out of reach and out of your control.
“Can I just know one thing?” He asked. 
You nodded, your fingers wrapped around the door handle.
“What’s your name?”
Blame the alcohol…blame your vulnerability…but you told him.
577 notes · View notes
ellemj · 5 months
Text
Needs & Wants - Sex Pollen Trope Pt. 9
Bucky Barnes x Reader
**Read parts 1-8 first for the full effect.**
Summary: You and Bucky find yourselves stuck in a hotel room for the night after being tailed on the way back to the compound. Your game of teasing escalates to something a little more serious than just a game.
Warnings: teasing, dry humping, unprotected sex, mutual pining, profanity, somewhat orgasm denial, edging, fingering, shower sex, MINORS DNI, 18+!!!
Feel free to comment and let me know if this requires any other warnings.
Word Count: 2.3k
Author's Note: We're getting very close to the end now. I don't know how I feel about it all yet. Thanks again to everyone who's been liking/commenting on/reblogging this series, your support means so much and I'm truly blown away by the love I've received on here over the last few days. I still don't know how the heck it happened but here we all are. Special thanks again to @littlemiss-yeehaw for helping with warnings for this series and saving my ass, and also for reading my trash before I post it lmao.
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            Bucky doesn’t know when he fell for you. He doesn’t know when his feelings of annoyance turned into feelings of near infatuation. He almost wishes he knew the exact moment, so he could use some kind of Stark technology to go back in time and undo it, but he’s sure you’d just as easily make him fall for you again. He sits silently in a chair in your shared hotel room, watching you intently as you make your way over to him. The straps of your dress hang loosely off your shoulders, your breasts are spilling over the top of the fabric and threatening to escape, and your hair is still a little mussed up from the physical demands of tonight’s mission. With all of that in front of him, he still can’t seem to tear his gaze away from your face. The way you smile as you laugh so softly, your lips parting and the corners turning upward just for him, it makes him feel like he’s just coming out of cryo for the first time. For a moment, the game the two of you have been playing all week is totally forgotten by him. He lets himself pretend just for a moment that you belong to him, that you’re here in this hotel room of your own free will, and you’re walking over to him right now as a girl who wants nothing else but him.
            “No answer?” You ask teasingly, coming to a standing stop between his legs. Bucky’s tongue flicks out, wetting his bottom lip before sucking it between his teeth and biting down on it. His eyes stray from your face, and he takes a few seconds to admire the entirety of you. You see it this time. The pure adoration in his eyes. He isn’t looking at you with some kind of superficial lust or temporary need. No, he’s looking at you with something that screams commitment. He wants you. He wants you beyond one night in a safe house, beyond one night in a hotel after a mission-gone-sideways. You see it in his eyes and yet, you don’t hear that familiar voice in your head telling you to run for the hills. You feel something between the two of you, tugging you closer and closer.
            Bucky realizes he’s been staring. He realizes that you’ve been watching him stare. He should probably say something to answer your question. You asked him if he was still hard. But why answer it out loud when he doesn’t have to? He leans forward in the chair suddenly, trailing his fingertips up the sides of your thighs as he looks up with you. Fuck, when he looks up at you like that you could just melt right into the floor. The room is beginning to feel way too hot, but its contrasting with the cool temperature of his vibranium fingertips on your skin and you kind of like it. Bucky lets his hands slide behind your thighs now, and you know exactly what he’s about to do. You brace your hands on his shoulders as he pulls you forward by his hold on the backs of your thighs, guiding you to spread your legs and straddle his lap in the chair. Every single nerve ending in your skin is on fire, so much so that you hear fire alarms going off in your mind. What the hell are the two of you doing? There’s no chemical influencing you this time, no severe pain forcing you to keep going just to find some relief. So, why are you straddling your almost completely naked partner in a hotel room right now?
            Because you fucking want to.
            You fully relax on his lap now, and that’s when you feel just how hard he is beneath you. You can make out the outline of his cock as it presses firmly against your still bare pussy. Your panties are still sitting on top of his suit jacket in the bathroom, thankfully. Bucky runs his hands up and down your thighs, his fingertips grazing over the hem of your dress.
            “You’re sitting on your answer.” His voice is low and tense, full of anticipation. He knows where he wants this to go, but he doesn’t know where your head is really at right now. Do you want the same thing? Do you want him in the same way that he wants you or are you just playing the game? He’s dying to know, but the man sucks at emotional communication. He’d never outright ask you. Thus, he’s determined to fuck it out of you.
            “I am.” You respond breathily. You know you shouldn’t do it, but you can’t help yourself. You tighten your grasp on his shoulders and grind down against his cock, closing your eyes as you focus on how good the sudden friction feels between your legs. As much as he wants to throw you down on the bed and do whatever it takes to make you scream his name, he lets you have control for now. He watches you closely as you continue grinding your wet cunt back and forth along his clothed cock, your face contorting with pleasure, your chest rising and falling quickly as you let out the quietest little moans.
            “Is that all you need?” Bucky asks, sliding his hands up until they’re resting on your hips. You want to say yes but fuck it, why lie?
            “No…” Your voice comes out soft and gentle. You slow your grinding movements as you lean down and press your lips to his jawline. “I need more.” Bucky clenches his jaw and you feel the muscle there contracting beneath your kisses. Will he give you more? Of course he fucking will. He’ll give you anything.
            “You need more…” His voice trails off and you feel his flesh hand leaving your hip, ghosting over your thigh, and finding its way beneath the thin fabric of your dress between your legs. “Here?” He asks, letting his fingertips glide over your clit. You feel the sensitive nerves there igniting and joining the rest of your body in flames. Nodding your head, your grind down against his hand, losing your mind over how good it feels.
            “Fuck.” You moan the word out slowly. Bucky’s in heaven. Or almost in heaven. He sits there underneath you, watching as you get yourself off on his hand, using your pretty voice to tell him how good it feels. He’s teetering on the edge of obsession at this point. In one swift move, he steals his hand away from where you need it most and grips your thighs as he rises from the chair. His name leaves your lips in a squeal as he lays you back on the bed, crawling over you so he doesn’t have a chance to miss the feeling of your body against his.
            “Have you thought about this as much as I have?” His question alone feeds the fire inside you. You let your hands travel up his sides until they find their way to his jawline, then you pull him down to your mouth. Holy shit. You forgot how good he tastes. You forgot how good he is with his tongue. You refuse to stop kissing him even to take a breath. When he finally pulls back from you, you gasp for air, your cheeks and nose blushing pink as he stares down at you.
            “I’ve thought about this every single day.” You admit, trying to pull him back down for another kiss. He fights your advance, and instead pushes himself off of the bed.
            “Get up.” He orders you, taking a few steps toward the bathroom but keeping his eyes on you. You prop yourself up on your elbows, narrowing your eyes at him. What the fuck is he up to?
            “Was all of that seriously just a tease?” You demand to know. There’s no way he did all of that and he’s just going to walk away from you now, all as a part of that fucking teasing game you’ve been playing all week.
            “No, I’m going to fuck you in the shower.” He says plainly, tilting his head toward the door. Your eyes widen as the sound of the running water meets your ears. You totally forgot you left it running a few minutes earlier. He gives you every chance to refuse, but a refusal never once crosses your mind as you push yourself up off of the bed and follow him into the bathroom.
---
            Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Profanities play on repeat in your mind as you’re pinned against the shower wall, with one of your legs hitched up around Bucky’s hip and his cock driving into you like it’s the first time he’s been with a woman in this century and he’s been starved of pleasure. You’re trying so hard to stay upright against him, but he’s been fucking you so hard for so long that you’re already one orgasm in and he’s yet to come undone inside you.
            “I’m not going to let you fall, baby. Trust me.” Bucky whispers against your ear, letting his forehead rest on the tiled shower wall beside your head. How is he always reading your mind? He slows his thrusts and starts focusing on his depth and angle instead of his speed. Suddenly, he hits a spot inside you that has you crying out his name with such desperation that he feels his cock twitch harder than it ever has before. “Shit, I need to hear that again.” He groans, thrusting into you in the exact same way he did a second before. His name begins falling from your lips like a prayer as you pepper kisses across his neck and shoulder. Your second orgasm is closing in when he slows once more, feeling how tight your walls are clenching around him and knowing you’re close.
            “Bucky, stop being a tease.” You moan, pushing your forehead against his shoulder in exasperation. He chuckles and it sends a chill down your spine.
            “I’m not teasing you. I’m dragging this out because…” He stops mid-sentence to thrust into you, hard. You gasp and bite down on his shoulder before he stills himself again. “I’ve thought about doing this to you the whole damn week.”
            “Why didn’t you just do it?” You ask. Why didn’t he? He never once knocked on your door or made a real move. He just teased you and acted annoyed with your avoidance of him all week. “I live right across the hall from you.”
            “Fuck, I know. But you’ve been avoiding me, acting like you were scared that I was falling in love with you since that night.” Bucky starts grinding his cock into you in slow circles, just feeling you. His hands are balled up in fists against the shower wall beside your head. Right. You forgot that that’s why he thought you were avoiding him. Truly though, it never really crossed your mind that he might’ve been falling for you. You were just scared that you were falling for him.
            “I’m sorry.” That’s the first time he’s ever heard an apology leave your lips, meant just for him. Not that you’ve ever owed him one before, but something about seeing your walls broken down in front of him like this scratches at his heart. He doesn’t ever want to hear you apologize again. Besides, you don’t need to be saying sorry right now. He was falling in love with you. If that’s why you were avoiding him, then you were right, and he didn’t see any reason why you should be apologizing.
            “No, no, don’t say that.” He mumbles against your shoulder. He starts thrusting his cock into you with the most shallow thrusts, and it’s driving you insane. What he wants to say next is you were right, I was falling in love with you. But of course, he doesn’t say that. Instead, he straightens up and crashes his lips into yours, saying everything that he wants to say with a passionate, burning kiss. The moment escalates to Bucky holding you up, your legs wrapped tightly around his waist, and his cock fucking you into the shower wall so hard that you’re seeing stars behind your tightly closed eyes. You lose every inhibition as you climb the mountain to your second orgasm, you lose every fucking thought in your head that would keep you from saying the most vulnerable, revealing thing you could possibly say as you both race toward a breaking dam.
            “I’ve been falling since that night.” You say between moans. The words float around the air between the two of you and for a moment, you’re not even sure if they actually came out of your mouth. Your voice sounded so far away when you said it. You expect Bucky to slow down, maybe even to stop fucking you entirely, since you’ve just done the stupid emotional thing and mixed sex with feelings. However, Bucky only speeds up, thrusting into you with so much need and want that his orgasm comes barreling at him before he has a chance to pull out.
            “Fuck, I’m cumming.” He groans against your lips, pressing soft kisses against them after the words have left his mouth. He continues to move his hips into you, coaxing your orgasm right to the edge before snaking his hand between the two of you and rubbing small circles against your clit until you cum so hard that he can feel your entire body shaking between him and the wall.
            I’ve been falling since that night. Fuck, that’s everything he wanted to hear.
Next Part
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ashwhowrites · 4 months
Text
Wrong locker part 2
Part 1
From the bottom of my heart, I want to thank everyone for the love wrong locker got 🫶🏻 it was an original idea and it means the world so many of you loved it. So as promised, here is your Christmas present. A very happy ending and I hope you guys all love it and it was worth the wait.
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Robin hasn't spoken to Y/N since she returned her jacket. Which was weeks ago. She knew she shouldn't care and that she shouldn't be disappointed, but she did.
She went from wondering if Vickie was the wrong choice to knowing she was. Turns out, Vickie and Robin only had band and were into girls in common. Their conversations were boring and died out within seconds. The relationship was nothing like Robin wanted or thought it would be like. She always compared everything to how it was with Y/N. And nothing matched it.
~~~
"Are you sure you're happy in your relationship?" Steve asked, he clicked on the computer as Robin sat on the counter next to him. She ignored as customers walked by.
"I think it's time I admit that I'm miserable." Robin answered, "Vickie and I have nothing in common. We barely go on dates because it's so awkward. We only hang out during school. It's just nothing like..." Robin trailed off when she realized what she was about to admit.
"Y/N?" Steve answered for her. He could see it. There was a different look in Robin's eyes when Y/N was in her life. Steve noticed it was gone once they broke it off.
"I think you fell for Y/N over those dates and calls. And that's okay, Robin. It's okay to fall for someone different. You had this picture painted of what you thought Vickie would be like. You had this vision and the vision was better than the reality. Y/N was the opposite. You never painted a picture with her and you never had expectations of her. You fell for her because you weren't trying to. That's when it's most real."
Robin couldn't help but let Steve's words sink in.
"You're right. Now what the hell do I do?"
"Break up with Vickie. And the rest..that's all up to you."
~~~
Robin held her breath as she walked into the small bar, the bar Y/N brought her for their first date....now that Robin can admit it was.
She scanned the bar, her eyes looking for someone in particular. She heard the clinks of the pool balls, she turned her head and there she was. Y/N had her arms wrapped around a girl. She was shorter than Y/N, she had brown hair and blue eyes. Robin couldn't help but feel like she was watching a flashback. But she wasn't. She was front-row seat as she watched Y/N move on.
Robin wanted to ignore the painful feeling in her stomach. And the feeling that she was going to throw up her lunch. She felt jealousy wash over her bare arms, and goosebumps formed as she shivered. Robin almost felt stupid for showing up, for thinking that there was a possibility Y/N would be torn apart the way Robin felt. She dashed towards the bar when she saw Y/N look over, she clenched her eyes shut as she prayed she wasn't seen.
Of course, Robin didn't have that luck. Y/N and the girl walked over to the bar, hand in hand. Robin swallowed the lump in her throat as the girl ordered a drink. Her voice sounded squeaky and it rang in Robin's ears.
Robin heard them talk then the girl walked off in the direction of the bathroom. Robin tried to hype herself up, she came here to see Y/N and this was her chance.
Just say hi, be nice and maybe she'll be nice back
"Pool trick your move with all the girls?"
Robin gasped at her own words, her hand slammed over her mouth as she clenched her eyes in embarrassment. She thought it but she didn't mean to say it. So much for hoping Y/N would be nice.
"Just the ones I wanna take home. What's it to you?" Y/N said, her tone was annoyed and rough. Robin wanted to shrink in her seat as Y/N didn't even turn her head to talk to her. She stared after the bathroom as she slammed a shot.
Robin felt her stomach turn at the thought of Y/N taking home a random girl. Not that she had the place to be upset about it. She single-handedly ruined whatever relationship that could have been.
"Where's Vickie?" Y/N couldn't help but ask. Y/N used to never have any hard feelings towards the redhead but now she couldn't help but hate her. Envy her. She never felt insecure within herself, but now all she wanted to do was be Vickie.
"I broke up with her," Robin said with a shrug, she kept her eyes on Y/N, wishing in her head that she'd turn to look back at her.
"Why would you do that?" This time she finally turned to look at Robin.
"I realized I was only happy with the idea of her. We didn't have anything in common, and we didn't click. I didn't feel....didn't feel the way I felt with you." Robin admitted, her eyes soft and genuine as she looked into Y/N's. She could see the conflict flicking through Y/N's eyes, the words taking effect on her as her mouth pouted.
"Do you know how much of an idiot I look like? I let my guard down because I liked you, and you took advantage of that. The only two things you felt with me were the anxiety of telling me the truth and the excitement of making her jealous, so screw you. You wanted her and you got her, that's where our time in the sun was done. I don't want anything to do with you." Y/N spat, not waiting for her girl to come out of the restroom as she marched right out the door.
~~~
Robin left Y/N alone after that night. It killed her and it hurt, but she didn't want Y/N to hate her even more. She felt guilty that Y/N knew about how excited she felt making Vickie jealous. Robin wished she thought everything through. She should have come clean right away, and maybe she could have still agreed to the date. She shouldn't have been stuck on Vickie and ignored all the possibilities around her.
Even though they didn't talk, Robin always looked for Y/N in the halls. Sometimes she felt a small shimmer of hope when Y/N stared back, for a few solid seconds before she shook her head and looked away. Robin hoped that there was a small part of Y/N that kept those feelings she felt for Robin months ago.
Robin entered a new level of hell when Y/N began to date a cheerleader. They were the perfect couple. Y/N was the captain of the volleyball team and her perfect, rich, pink, and giggly girlfriend, Blane, was on the cheerleading team. This meant Robin had to watch Blane cheer for Y/N, run to her after the game, and smash her perfect pink lips right on Y/N. It made Robin sick. It made her want to cry, vomit, and commit murder all at the same time. But also made Robin realize Y/N was long gone. She already did the upgrade, from band geek girlfriend to cheerleader girlfriend. There wasn't a chance in this hell that Y/N would run back to the band geek.
~~~
It was Y/N's birthday, and Blane invited everyone to celebrate weeks ago. Robin was surprised when she got the invite. She was surprised to hear Blane's voice on the other end inviting her directly. Robin figured it was a surprise party as Y/N didn't say a word about it when they passed in the halls.
But Robin wasn't going to waste the opportunity she had to see Y/N again. Robin spent the whole week perfecting Y/N's gift. She knew she had a lot of apologizing and work to do, and she hoped this showed how much of an effort she truly planned to make. But the gift also could cause issues with Blane, and honestly? Robin was ready to knock the bitch down a peg or two.
Robin even cracked and begged Nancy for help. Robin needed to dress to impress, and Nancy was the girl with all the confidence.....and clothes. Nancy knew who Robin was and stayed close to her wild style. A simple black dress that Robin covered with a dark jean jacket and sneakers. Nancy added a tiny bit of makeup to Robin's eyes, and a nice pink gloss to her lips.
Robin held her present in a tight grip as she walked into the party. Even though Robin rushed to get ready, she still arrived late. Half the party was already drunk and wobbling around. Robin set down her gift on a table that seemed to be the gift table.
She walked around, hoping to catch sight of Y/N. But she did find Blane at the drink table. Robin walked over, grabbed a drink, and took a deep breath.
"Thanks for inviting me!" Robin said a fake smile on her face.
"Of course! I honestly don't know half the people here. I called everyone that Y/N had their number written down and saved. Figured that's where the important people are. So hey! If you're here, you must be a great friend." Blane slurred, her hand patting Robin on the shoulder.
Robin was barely a friend, and she didn't want to be a friend. But she wasn't going to admit that to Y/N's girlfriend.
"So, how did you and Y/N get together?" The curiosity has been killing Robin. But the answer might finish her off.
"Hooked up at a party, nothing very romantic. We haven't been together long, feels more like a good fuck, you know? She's so confident and rough. I was too insecure about competition, and I knew no one go for her because they were too scared. So I figured hey! Who's gonna take her from me? No one. I can get great orgasms, sleep off with other people, and not have to worry about her attention leaving me." Blane shrugged, her drunk words filled Robin with more rage than she ever felt.
"That's a bit bitchy don't you think? The girl has feelings." Robin argued.
"Y/N? Feelings? No, that girl likes sex and that's all. I don't think she's capable of having feelings." Blane scoffed.
"Maybe not for you," Robin said under her breath, but not quite enough.
"Excuse me? If she would have feelings for someone, it would be me. Look at me." Blane said, and Robin couldn't help but look. Blane was easily gorgeous and it was easy to fall in love with her based on looks. Her personality immediately killed it.
"Open relationship then?" Robin asked, trying to change the subject of how perfect Blane was. Robin felt even more insecure as she tugged on her dress.
"Oh no. Y/N is way too loyal for that, even if it's just sex. But me? What she doesn't know what hurt her." Blane said, Robin, couldn't believe how she said these things without a moment of guilt.
"You're unbelievable. Y/N deserves better." Robin scoffed, she grabbed her drink and prepared to leave.
"Wait a second," Blane said, she grabbed Robin's arm and turned her around. Blane studied her face, her face sobering up a tad. "I knew you looked familiar. You're the girl in the frame! In Y/N's room! The girl wearing the jacket at the arcade."
Robin couldn't help but smile at the fact that Y/N kept a framed picture of her. Her cheeks flamed red and her heart raced.
"Now it all makes sense." Blane laughed, "You want her back, don't you? Seeking out the girlfriend to get the details you needed before you made the move." Blane said, shoving Robin.
"Hey! I didn't seek out details, you were saying it all on your own." Robin defended herself. "I do want her back. And it seems like you barely care about her so why don't we just call a truce? You can get great sex somewhere else, and Y/N can be with someone who cares about her." Robin thought her words were nice. But apparently, Blane thought differently. Robin felt a sticky liquid poured over her head.
A crowd formed around them as everyone gasped. Robin bit her lip as she wiped the liquid out of her eyes.
"Pathetic. Do you think she'll run back to you? You're nothing. You sit on the sidelines in everyone's life, including hers. Go back to the bench where you belong." Blane said, she turned around and her ponytail flipped in Robin's face.
Robin couldn't help herself. She was filled with rage and insecurity. She already knew getting Y/N back was a lost chance. She knew she was a side character in everyone's life, but to hear it said to her face by the bitch of high school. She wasn't taking it. And in a way, Robin wanted to fight for Y/N, what's better than taking down their girlfriend?
Robin grabbed her ponytail and yanked her backward. Blane let out a high-pitched scream as she tried to get Robin's grip off of her. Robin let go but tackled Blane to the ground.
"FIGHT! IT'S A GIRL FIGHT!" some drunk asshole screamed. He was filled with way too much excitement.
Robin and Blane rolled around on the floor, barely hitting each other but still fighting to be on top.
"OFF!" Robin heard someone scream and arms wrapped around her waist. She felt herself being easily lifted into the air. Robin trashed as the person began to bring her outside.
"LET ME GO. I SWEAR I'LL CALL THE COPS!" she threatened.....or Steve.
"That would backfire on you, sweetheart," Y/N said as she let Robin go. Robin stood on her feet and turned around to see Y/N there with a pissed-off expression. Robin clenched her thighs as she took her in. She wore tight blue jeans, a white tank top with layered necklaces, the bottom one resting perfectly on her chest, and a black belt with chains looped through.
"What the fuck is your problem?" Y/N snapped Robin out of her thoughts.
"You didn't hear what she said about you?" Robin argued, her hands gesturing to the house, where Blane probably sat crying.
"Why would you care?" Y/N asked, her arms crossed as she tried to conceal her anger.
"DO YOU PAY ATTENTION TO ANYTHING?" Robin screamed, she felt like she was constantly telling Y/N how she felt, and Y/N just ignored it.
"I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT AT ALL! WE TALKED AND DECLARED IT WAS OVER. WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT?" Y/N screamed back. She wanted to tug her hair out. She couldn't stand the sad puppy eyes Robin gave her. She hated feeling pittied and she hated Robin felt so guilty that she wanted to make it up to her. Y/N wasn't supposed to be hurt.
"I WANT YOU! ISN'T THAT CLEAR?" Robin screamed as she stomped her foot in the grass. "I DIDN'T GO TO THE BAR THAT NIGHT JUST TO ADMIT MY MISTAKE!! IT WAS TO ADMIT TO YOU THAT I CAN'T GET YOU OUT OF MY HEAD...."Robin took a deep breath, "it was to admit that I love you and I want a chance to be with you again. This time with no fear, no anxiety, and no afraid to feel things for you. Because it's not a bad thing. Getting to be with you, was beautiful and it was joyful. You were happy, and you can't tell me you weren't."
"Robin," Y/N sighed as she ran her hands over her face. "It wasn't even real. I was happy because I thought it was something real. I thought I could be loved, don't you get that? How can I just believe you now? What if you don't even love me, you just loved the feeling of being with me."
Robin didn't know Y/N felt so much insecurity. And she felt even worse for playing with her emotions.
Robin walked over to her, not wasting a second before she smashed her lips on Y/N's. Robin felt a zoo of butterflies fluttering around in her stomach as Y/N kissed her back. Robin's hands wrapped around Y/N's shoulders, and Robin shivered as Y/N's hands wrapped around her waist. She gripped Robin's dress and kissed her deeper. Robin melted under her control, submitting herself to be under her power. Y/N's warm tongue touched Robin's as they kissed. Y/N tasted like beer and gum, somehow a taste Robin needed more and more of.
They pulled back when they needed air, but Robin kept her hands on Y/N, hoping it would keep the girl in place.
"I love you, and I love the feeling I feel with you. I love both, and I can't love one without the other. Vickie was a mistake, and I'm sorry I had to learn that while hurting you. I know I want you and I know I want us. Please let me show you that?" Robin begged, her forehead pressed against Y/N's as she closed her eyes. In case she said no, at least Robin could soak in the last few moments.
It was silent and Robin grew more nervous. She cracked open one eye to see Y/N staring at her with a smile.
"Can I admit I love you with both your eyes open?" Y/N giggled, and Robin never thought she'd hear that.
Robin opened her eyes immediately, a dopey smile on her face as she watched Y/N's mouth move.
"I love you and I'll give you the chance. Just don't make me regret it!" Y/N threatened, a finger pointed right at Robin but a teasing smile covered Y/N's face.
"Deal," Robin said, pressing her lips against Y/N's again.
"Kicked her ass." Y/N laughed against Robin's lips, not caring how sticky Robin's whole face was.
"She deserved it." Robin shrugged, happily attaching their lips again.
~~~
A box of a tiny locker rested in the gift box on the table, with love notes all written to Y/N. All in the right locker.
Tags!
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489 notes · View notes
aphrogeneias · 8 months
Text
don't go (sharing your devotion) — one-shot
pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader
summary: eddie's jealousy was loud, just like everything else he did. or, eddie realizes he can't keep being the sole object of his best friend's attention forever and ends up screwing things up.
maybe it was about time.
word count: 2.1k
warnings: friends to lovers, jealousy (on eddie's side, he's not proud of it), light angst, unresolved sexual tension, a little bit of smut (+18), a hint of sub!eddie
author's note: was inspired to upload this to tumblr by @cursedyuta's stellar subby eddie content, and it made me remember i had this hidden. this was supposed to be two-part but i couldn't find the motivation to write any more, i'm sorry about the open ending! maybe it will gain a follow up one day, never say never <3
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Eddie's jealousy was loud, just like everything else he did.
It stemmed from regret, pure and simple. Regret of not asking you out all the times you were alone with him, of not confessing his feelings, of not making you his when he had the chance. You weren't his, no matter how much he acted like you were.
As far as everyone was concerned, you were Eddie's girl. Being the only girl in The Hellfire Club — until Erica Sinclair's unexpected arrival, that was — and the only girl he was always seen with, it was easy to make that assumption, and neither of you really cared to clear those rumors. Something in his chest swelled with pride anytime someone called you his girlfriend and all you did was roll your eyes, but never tell them they were wrong.
Sometimes he wondered if you knew. You had to know, he wasn't exactly hiding.
His reputation did most of the work to keep guys away from you, but there were a few, brave ones who weren't really intimidated by Eddie "The Freak" Munson — alleged satanist, cult leader and whatever other false atrocity this town was willing to put on his shoulders. Those brave ones, the ones who asked you on dates and dared keep you from spending time with him, suffered with Eddie's relentless, petty teasing and practiced death stares.
Steve Harrington didn't seem easily intimidated by him in the slightest, though.
Eddie had all but scoffed when you told him you'd been going out with the former King of Hawkins High. It wasn’t until he saw the two of you together that reality started to sink in.
He didn't mean for things to get ugly, but the moment realized you were slipping through his fingers was an awakening he didn't think he could handle.
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"What was all that about?"
Eddie shrugged, running a hand through his shaggy hair, a little humid from sweat. It was hot that night, even hotter inside the small downstairs bathroom you locked yourself with him in. Outside, the small party the drama club kids were throwing went on, voices and music being muffled by the closed door.
"I just wanted to know what Harrington was doing hanging out with low lives like us. Can't I be curious?" His voice was a bit slurred, no doubt from all the cheap beer he downed before and after Corroded Coffin's gig, fuming as he stared at you from across the room, all tangled with Steve, laughing at his jokes.
You leaned on the tiled wall, crossing your arms. He tried not to let his eyes wander lower, to the way your tits were pushed up in that halter top that left little to the imagination, but his was already running wild. "Do you hear yourself, Eddie? When you speak? Or did all that headbanging finally mess with your brain?"
"I think that would be the drugs, sweetheart."
It was a poor attempt to make you laugh, he knew. You knew it too, because your face remained impassive.
"You were curious, then. That's why you threw a fucking scene? Is that why you acted like an idiot and dragged me along with you, in front of all of those people?"
"Wouldn't be the first time." He mumbled, now unable to meet your eyes. Shame was something Eddie rarely felt, comfortable in his own skin most of the time, no matter what other people thought — but when it came to you, all he wanted to do was shield you from those same judgemental gazes, but instead, he put you right in the way of their scrutiny.
All because he couldn't stand the sight of you flirting with someone else.
"Goddamnit, Eddie! Can't you be serious for once in your life? This isn't the first time you do this shit but this time you went too far."
"I didn't like watching Harrington being all over you, okay? I didn't like knowing he's going to take advantage of you just like he does with all those other girls. Is that what you want to hear?"
He knew he was exaggerating, in fact, he knew nothing about Steve Harrington's intentions towards you, or any of the other girls he was seen around with, but none of that mattered to the ugly, jealous monster roaring in his insides.
Sighing, you close your eyes before looking right into his. "No, Eddie. That's not what I want to hear, but an apology would be nice."
The words "I'm Sorry" were stuck inside his throat, along with those three little words he struggled to say to you, as he watched you leave through the door and lose yourself amongst the crowd.
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The day after your fight was spent in his trailer, nursing a bad hangover and a broken heart, both of which were his own fault, and the consequences of his reckless behavior. One of them hurt more than the other.
Eddie was sitting on the old brown couch on the trailer's porch as the sun went down on the horizon, smoking the uptenth cigarette of that cursed day when he saw Steve's burgundy BMW enter the trailer park from afar, and stop right in front of the Mayfield's trailer.
That wasn't unusual, since Steve was often checking up on the Mayfield girl, just as he did with Dustin, as far as Eddie knew. What was different this time was you on his passenger seat, looking as pretty as you did the night before. He stood up as he watched you talk, his heart clenching inside his chest when you exchanged a quick kiss before you both left the car, Steve going into the Mayfield's home and you made your way to the opposite side.
His side.
He could see it from afar, the pain in your eyes. There was rage too, lingering, somewhere in there. Your hips swayed with the determined movements of your feet, and he couldn't help but let his eyes linger on the mini skirt you were wearing — the black one, his favorite. Not that you knew it was, but every time you wore it, his mind raced with thoughts of what was hidden under that tiny piece of fabric, struggling with the soft flesh of your thick thighs.
For a moment, he thought about how might look like to you, standing shirtless on his porch, a long since extinct cigarette hanging from his fingers, wearing those same old black jeans. He wondered if you could see the dark circles under his eyes, or if his hair looked like the bird's nest it certainly felt like. Eddie felt sick, unworthy of your presence, unworthy of you. He kept wishing you would turn away, back to the golden boy who had apparently won your heart, but suddenly there you were, right in front of him.
"Will you let me in, please? We need to talk."
Not trusting his voice, he nodded, stopping out of the porch and towards the door, where you followed him to. Once you were inside, the silence between you was heavy, oppressive, until you were the one who broke it.
“You know, you can’t keep guys away from me forever.” There was a shy, almost teasing, smile behind your words.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
He avoided your eyes, tracking back further into the house and in the direction of his room, knowing you would follow him. The angry stomp of your boots behind him was like music to his ears, it made his heart race into his ribcage unlike any heavy beat of bass drums.
At that moment, Eddie couldn't find anything more beautiful than you — standing in the yellow light of his room, eyes set on him, brows and lips set on a hard line, making him want to reach out and run his fingers through them to soothe your expression. You looked like an avenging angel, a goddess come to put him in his place.
There was no one else he'd rather be on his knees for.
“Yes, you do. You know exactly what I’m talking about, and the worst part is that you keep acting like nothing is happening, like… like you haven’t been doing this for years. Eddie, I’m…”, it weighed on his heart, the way you sighed deeply, stopping yourself mid-sentence, “I’m tired. I’m tired of dancing around whatever is going on here, so you’ll either spit it out and tell me what you want, or I’m gonna walk out of here and go home with Steve, because at least he’s not the one bullshitting me.”
It wasn’t often that Eddie Munson was left speechless.
Ever the wordsmith, he should have had the perfect excuse on the tip of his tongue, but instead, he has nothing. Eddie watched you with dark eyes, burning under your gaze, his mouth sewn shut. With one last look, a bullet through his already wrecked chest, you turned to leave.
"No, no, no!" Panicking as he felt you slipping through his fingers, Eddie finally reached out, running to stand between you and the door, voice rising in a whine, "Don't go with Harrington. Please, I'll do anything you want, just… stay, please?"
You hesitated a little before coming closer, neatly brushing his chest with yours, your perfume making him almost dizzy, making him close his eyes for a moment, taking you in.
"All I want is for you to tell me what you want." You insisted.
Placing his hands on his hips, the same hands that were itching to touch you, and looking up, chuckling with nervousness, he finally confessed, "I want you. Is that good enough for you, huh? Is that what you want to hear?" He caught himself repeating the same words as yesterday, only this time, he meant then. "In fact, you're all I've ever wanted. I want you so bad it's embarrassing, Y/N. It's fucking ruining me."
Eddie was met with silence, but at the same time he looked down to you, you raised your hands to rest them on his chest, spreading heat through the worn out Sabbath shirt he was wearing and into his skin. "Did it kill you to admit that?"
"No, but you are, baby."
"Consider it payback for all the years you wasted being an asshole and not realizing you could have had me this whole time."
Pushing him slightly, taking advantage of How distracted he was by your unexpected — or should they be expected? — words, you maneuvered the both of you until he felt his knees hit the edge of his bed.
"Can I still have you now?"
With a final push from your delicate hands, Eddie landed softly on the bed, lying on his back, his hair falling like a dark halo around his bed. He saw your expression soften as you climbed on top of him, straddling his hips. This time, he didn't restrain from touching you, letting his hands slide over the skin of your soft thighs, squeezing them lightly. He could feel the heat of your pussy from under the thin fabric of your panties, making him swallow back a moan. He wanted to grind against you, release a little of the tension rising in his jeans, but he kept still, waiting for your next move.
It felt like a dream, you on top of him, looking like every bit of a wet dream as well. Your hands grabbed his wrists and positioned them above his head as you lowered your face right above his flustered one.
"You see, the thing is… I don't think you deserve to have me right now, Eddie baby. You need to think about what you've done a little more, don't you think?"
A shiver ran down his spine with your words, making his body writhe under you, a wild fire spreading through him, ready to eat him alive — just like you looked like you were about to do.
"See, I'm gonna have to go and find a way to let Steve down gently, and then we're gonna talk, actually talk, about whatever this is," you motioned with your head at the two of you, "okay? No more running, no more hiding."
"No more running, no more hiding." He nodded frantically, repeating your words. Eager to get on your good side again.
"Good." You placed a sweet kiss to his forehead, a stark contrast to the torture you were putting him through. "Was that so hard?"
You had no idea.
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les4elliewilliams · 2 months
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Ellie is away... // e.w
chapter 3 - 2004, Sophomore year college
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a/n: part 3 (ik finally) took me forever for no reason at all, i didn't even think anyone was gonna see part one but anyways!!! (reblogs and comments are always appreciated:))) wc/cw: 1.4k. jesse being bullied;( , swearing, loser!ellie i guess?, no smut or anything but MDNI. summary: set in the early 2000s. everyone was obsessed with AIM messaging and when you left your hometown for college, leaving your friends behind, it was what you guys used to stay in touch. Ellie's one of your best friends, and when you left for college, she started dating Cat, the girl she had always claimed to dislike. It wasn't just the fact that she hadn't told you about it; you didn't like Cat. It wasn't a secret, and neither did Dina or Jesse. Deep down, you knew that she was just afraid of your reaction. Their relationship was far from perfect, and when you told her that she should've just broken up with her, it didn't go too well. However, her grudge obviously didn't last long, you were her best friend, after all, and she couldn't go without talking to you for too long, so she ended up apologizing for being a dick.
➥ part one, two, four
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brickmaster signed in.
brickmaster: ohhh hey yn
ynshere: Ellssss hiiii
brickmaster: what's upp brickmaster: how's everything for you
ynshere: nothing much i was playing the sims lol ynshere: everything's fine. what about you?
brickmaster: it’s alright, just chilling in my dorm at the moment brickmaster: got any plans for the weekend?
ynshere: just hanging out with my friend Emma
brickmaster: sounds fun brickmaster: who’s Emma? ynshere: just a friend brickmaster: i don’t think you ever mentioned her before brickmaster: how did you two meet?
ynshere: just at some party, she spilled her drink all over my clothes lol
brickmaster: oh no your poor skirt and crop top
ynshere: oh stfu ynshere: what's with the way i dress now? ynshere: not pretty enough for you, Williams?
brickmaster: never said that ;) brickmaster: so? what is she like? brickmaster: is she cooler than me?
ynshere: aw c'mon you already know the answer to that
brickmaster: oh i know i know brickmaster: no one's as cool as me
ynshere: no, actually she is cooler than you
brickmaster: pffffttt as if brickmaster: i'm still hotter though
ynshere: is that what your gf tells you to make you feel less shitty about your looks?
brickmaster: ouch that hurt brickmaster: no more Cat by the way
ynshere: oh? ynshere: i'm sorry, i didn't know
brickmaster: well no dip, i just told you
ynshere: shut up, you know what i meant smartass ynshere: what happened? (If you don't mind me asking)
brickmaster: she was too much brickmaster: she was too controlling brickmaster: always telling me what to do, who to hang out with or who not to talk to
ynshere: mhm
brickmaster: don't. say. it.
ynshere: i told youu ynshere: yn’s always right ynshere: say it.
brickmaster: i'm so not gonna say it
ynshere: you make me wanna strangle you sometimes ynshere: but good, you deserved better anyways ynshere: i mean, i'm sorry but she was horrible to you
brickmaster: i know brickmaster: took me ages to realize it
ynshere: better later than never
brickmaster: you always say that brickmaster: you never change do you
ynshere: nop ynshere: i evolve if anything
brickmaster: i missed you
ynshere: me too El, so much.
brickmaster: i wish we could hang out like good ol' times
ynshere: ew now you are starting to sound like Joel
brickmaster: oh fuck off brickmaster: i'm being sweet for once and you're ewing me like that?...never again
ynshere: lol i'm just kidding dumbass ynshere: i wish we could hang out like we used to back in high school ynshere: i miss seeing your stupid face everyday
brickmaster: stupid? I think you meant pretty* brickmaster: or gorgeous* brickmaster: yeah that's more appropriate
ynshere: ..i'm going to log out
brickmaster: noooo stay please :( brickmaster: what would i do without you
ynshere: you're such a failure ynshere: Joel should've worn a condom that night
brickmaster: jokes on you... he did but there was a hole in it
ynshere:……
brickmaster: my mum told me that...i don't know what to believe
ynshere: Ellie.
brickmaster: what
ynshere: you're a lost cause.
brickmaster: gonna make me blush
ynshere: i don't think i've ever seen you blush before like actually
brickmaster: cause i don't blush brickmaster: i make ladies blush, never the other way around
ynshere: damn such an alpha ynshere: your parents must be so proud of you
brickmaster: nah they hate me
ynshere: yeah, i wonder why…
brickmaster: you know brickmaster: ever since Cat and i broke up things have been weird
ynshere: how so?
brickmaster: well we have the same group of friends so it's just awkward, you know? brickmaster: i feel really alone sometimes and i miss you really bad brickmaster: i miss having you around, being in the same classes and all that
ynshere: i know we can't see each other but i'm here for you ynshere: always. ynshere: you can call me or message me anytime i really don't mind, i love talking to you
brickmaster: thank you yn, it really means a lot to me brickmaster: it's just… i feel abandoned brickmaster: she made me look like the bad guy for breaking up with her, it feels like they don't want me around
ynshere: have you tried telling them about the whole thing?
brickmaster: yeah brickmaster: but they're all up Cat’s ass and it's annoying brickmaster: i feel betrayed in some sort of way
ynshere: i'm sorry Ellie ynshere: they sound like shitty friends ynshere: maybe it's time to get new friends?
brickmaster: i know they suck but they were the only friends i had
ynshere: i'm sure you'll make new friends ynshere: you'll meet better people ynshere: hang out, go to parties don't stay in your dorm all day
brickmaster: you're right brickmaster: but like what did i do wrong? brickmaster: it's clear that they’d rather be friends with Cat brickmaster: fuck i feel like crying right now
ynshere: baby :( ynshere: hey listen to me, you did nothing wrong. you are amazing
brickmaster: i'm sorry for dropping all this on you brickmaster: i understand it can be too much
ynshere: don't you dare apologize for feeling upset, Williams. ynshere: it's okay, really ynshere: i'm here for you. It's not too much, you're never too much.
brickmaster: you're the only one i can talk to freely without feeling judged brickmaster: well you and Dina of course, but i don't wanna annoy her with my shit
ynshere: oh Ellie ynshere: i know for a fact that Dina cares about you as much as i do ynshere: you're never a burden to us, understand? ynshere: glad you vented to me
brickmaster: thank you so much yn brickmaster: you have no idea how much this means to me brickmaster: can i tell you something
ynshere: of course
brickmaster: you know that party at Jesse’s? brickmaster: the one from two years ago
ynshere: yeah what about it?
brickmaster: i always wondered if things went differently brickmaster: like if me and Cat never happened brickmaster: i remember i had the whole night planned, i wanted to spend time with you alone
ynshere: you never told me that
brickmaster: well you left earlier than expected that night sooo
ynshere: you're making me regret getting drunk that night ynshere: i was so sick, i remember drinking too much
brickmaster: yeah lol you were fucking wasted brickmaster: i have an idea
ynshere: shoot ynshere: and it better not include putting a dinosaur toy in your microwave
brickmaster: lmao no i'm over that phase brickmaster: what if i came visit this weekend? brickmaster: i really miss you and i need a break from this fucking school anyways brickmaster: besides, we promised we would visit each other right?
ynshere: oh my god please do ynshere: i would LOVE to see your ugly ass face again
brickmaster: you miss this ugly face though ;)
ynshere: maybe
brickmaster: fuck i can't wait brickmaster: ooh shit what about your friend Emma?
ynshere: it's whatever i’ll tell her you're visiting, she’ll understand
brickmaster: you sure? brickmaster: you don't have to ditch her for me
ynshere: Ellie. be for fucking real. ynshere: i would ditch anyone for you
brickmaster: alright alright just making sure brickmaster: so what do you wanna do this weekend?
ynshere: don't know, just hang out in my dorm?
brickmaster: sounds good to me brickmaster: anything sounds better than rotting in my dorm all day brickmaster: wanna get drunk too? I could bring some alcohol if you want
ynshere: sure why not? ynshere: if we gotta catch up
brickmaster: we must do it the right way brickmaster: i like the way you think
ynshere: lol see you this weekend?
brickmaster: see you this weekend :)
ynshere: bye bye :))
brickmaster is away.
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jessescool has signed in jessescool: yoo yn jessescool: how is it goin? ynshere: JESSE OH MY FUCKING GOD ynshere: MY MANNNNNNN jessescool: lol you feeling alright?
ynshere: Ellie's coming over this weekend :) jessescool: yn using a smiley face. odd
ynshere: shut up. ynshere: SHE'S COMING TO VISIT ynshere: IM SCREAMING
jessescool: about damn time you two got together
ynshere: we're not together ynshere: she's just coming to visit ynshere: we haven't seen each other in like forever
jessescool: will be soon jessescool: is she still dating Cat?
ynshere: she just told me she broke up ynshere: Cat was horrible to her
jessescool: i remember talking to Cat a few times back in high school jessescool: she was odd ynshere: you know what else is odd?
jessescool: what ynshere: your mom dropping you on your head as a baby
jessescool is typing... ynshere is away. jessescool: i'm tired of y'all
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¡! daily click・palestine masterpost・do not buy any game from naughty dog, neil druckmann is a zionist・more daily clicks. ¡!
taglist: @readbydayana @onlinelesbo @tearouthearts @macaroni676 @diddiqueen @crxmxnzl-c0rpzes @amberputh @itsbecomeblue @benthoee
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psychwxrdd · 3 months
Text
cat and mouse
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🎀 note: not me thinking about rafe dressed as michael myers for a future blurb...
you end things with rafe due to his obsessive and controlling behaviour.
dark! rafe, obsessive! rafe, stalker! rafe, dark rafe x reader, jj x reader, possessive/toxic relationship.
It all started when you showed up at Sarah's house, your very first week in Outer Banks. You moved to figure 8 with your family and she was the first person you talked to, asking you to hang out with her and her friends any of these days and get to know the place. When Rafe first saw you, he immediately approached you, told you he was Sarah's brother and that he would be more than happy to show you around.
You thought he was just being genuinely nice, and you liked him. But as the weeks go by, you realized he had other intentions, as you started seeing him everywhere... Gifts and flowers showing up at your house, whenever you were walking by yourself he would always be there to give you a ride. Or when you were at a store staring at a skirt you really liked and next day, your mother said "a friend brought you something". The same skirt you wanted so bad, with a small note besides it.
"I saw how you stared at this skirt. And i can't stop thinking about how gorgeous it you would look on you... Go on a date with me and use it :)"
You didn't even had to think, you knew it was Rafe. It was pretty obvious. But even as you felt something a bit off about him, he was a handsome, charming guy. It could be just a crush, nothing else, so why not? Life was boring lately.
And how bad you wish things stayed boring, now looking back.
You two started dating after about a month, mostly because he pressured you into it. You thought things were surely going too fast, but he insisted that he wanted to have you as his official girlfriend and that he didn't wanted anyone thinking they would have a chance with you. So you said yes.
Things only got worse since. Rafe clearly liked you more than you liked him, and everyone could notice that... But he did not mind at all. As long as you were his, however it was, he wouldn't care about anything else. He slowly took all the control over your life without you noticing.
Whenever you wanted to leave in the morning to work, he would ask you to stay with him for a bit more.
"You know i can't be late, babe" you said with a soft smile as he pouted.
"You don't need that lame job, sweetheart. Why you even work? You're a kook. And i take care of you" As he kisses your neck and you chuckle. "Please, i hate being without you, just a few more minutes..."
And you couldn't say no, not at all. He was sweet, but something about him was so intimidating and scary, you couldn't exactly put your finger on what was it. But you knew that saying no to Rafe wasn't a good idea.
Then a few weeks later, you were eventually fired.
Rafe didn't wanted you to go out with your friends anymore, not his sisters, even worse if it was one of the pogues.
"You think i don't know that Maybank guy has some desperated puppy crush on you?" He asked, tapping his hands on his head.
"Rafe, he is a friend! They are all my friends!" You were exhausted of this conversation, almost screaming at him.
"You see...I don't want you being friends with them anymore. So..." He smiled, but nothing about that smile was happy or calmed you in the slightest. It was a weird smile. "You won't hang out with them anymore, you're better than that. And you're my girl. Right? My girl won't disobey me, huh?"
Or when you guys were watching a movie, a drama maybe, and you would make a silly comment like "If we broke up one day i'm moving to Italy", completely innocent, and his mood would be ruined.
"That won't fucking happen. Ever."
"I was just kidding." You spoke softly. "Don't take it seriously babe"
"Yeah...You know better than that. I'm sorry. Can't even stand the mere thought of losing you."
Why did you knew better than that?
Or when he started complaining about how much the condoms were uncomfortable, and how he wanted to feel you entirely. You wasn't ready for that, as much as you were horny, you weren't ok with the idea of end up pregnant. That was your answer, no.
But Rafe was a master at gaslighting. He wouldn't stop trying to convince you untill you made your mind, and when you didn't, he simply started taking off while you were too fucked out to notice.
Everyone was worried, even Ward realized how sick was this love his son had towards you. It was like he needed you to breath, in the worst way possible.
You broke up with him after almost a year together, and he obviously didn't took it well. He cried, punched walls, screamed, broke things, acted like a total psycho and you left scared for your life, trully. For your luck, Sarah and Rose were around and they helped you, cause Rafe wouldn't let you even get out of his room for sure.
2 weeks passed since that day and needless to say, Rafe made your life a hell. Blowing your phone with infinite texts and calls, showing up at your house, calling you through your parents phone, absolutely acting like a fucking freak. You started hanging out with your friends again, and that helped you a lot to go through it, it was nice to have people to trust, especially with all that was happening.
You were at The Cut with JJ, it was night and you two stared at the sea while laughing about some stupid thing he said. You decided to check your phone to see the time, and realized there was a text from an unknown number.
the fuck you're doing at the cut?
who is with you rn?
i'm serious y/n
don't fuck with me
answer me or i'll look for you myself
You frozed while reading that. Why he couldn't just leave you alone? Why the fuck he still had your location on his phone?
You cursed yourself for ever giving it to him at first. If you only knew who you were dealing with.
please babe i need to see you
i'm going crazy
i'm doing coke again
i need you right fucking now or i'll blow my brains out
i'm serious
you think i'm not serious?
i'll fucking film then
rafe PLEASE stop
lets talk ok
but please stop
i'll pick you up
"JJ... You need to leave now, Rafe wants to talk to me and i don't even wanna think about what he would do if he saw you with me"
The blonde stared at you in disbelief.
"Are you fucking him again?"
"NO! But he wants to talk, and if thats what it takes for him to leave me alone, then i'll do it!" You said, almost yelling. "And i don't want you to be involved"
"You're my friend Y/n for fuck's sake, you think i'll let you be alone with that psychopath?"
"JJ-"
"No Y/n, you don't deserve this shit!"
Your eyes were full of tears at this point, and you felt your body weak. It was like you were sick with so much sadness and anxiety. JJ was quick to hug you tightly, and thats when you allowed yourself to cry.
"You got this, we got this, right?" He caressed you hair "I'm here sweet thing."
You heard the sound of a familiar truck, and your heart stopped beating for a second. Your ex boyfriend stepped out from his side, clearly out of his mind.
"Rafe, let's talk!"
"YOU BITCH! I KNEW IT, I FUCKING KNEW IT!" He shouted, his face looking red and if stares could kill you would surely be dead by now.
"Chill out dude" JJ said way too calm, and that gave you more panic. He should never play with Rafe, he should never speak to him in that tone.
The last thing you remember from that night was Rafe punching JJ's face so bad he passed out on the floor. And you couldn't do nothing, as the much taller and stronger guy carried you on his shoulders and threw you on his truck. It was all too overwhelming, too fast, painfull, you were dissociating.
"Had to take back whats mine, love" He said in a stern tone, while focused on the road "I thought you knew better, huh? Now the fucker might be dead and it's your fault. But i don't care, i love you too much princess. I hated that dirty pogue...Always thinking he could have a piece of you" Rafe inhaled sharply, his jaw giving you a glimpse of how much rage he felt. "Hear this, i'll tell you just once: The only way you ever will get rid of me is when you die, honey. And if you ever consider trying to leave me again, i'll kill you and i'll kill myself right after. You got that?"
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xhoneygirlxx · 8 months
Text
More Than Just A Dream
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best friend! Eddie Munson x fem reader
summary: Eddie can't understand why you would ever ask him a question like that.
warnings: set in modern times, mentions of cellphones and current pop culture references. swearing, insecurity issues, fluff, slight angst, Eddie being down bad for reader. friends to lovers. bad writing and grammar mistakes. not proofread bc a girl is tired. 18+ Minors please go away.
a/n: being someone who was constantly over looked, only ever being the girl that people were nice to so they could get close to my friends, i really wish i had someone who loved me. now in my twenties, i see all my friends in relationships, getting married, and having the life i want. basically i'm in my feels tonight and i'm going to pretend that i have my own personal Eddie.
You and Eddie were hanging out in his room, you mindlessly scrolling on your phone while he plucked mindlessly at his guitar, contently sitting on his bed. This wasn't uncommon for the two of you, always finding comfort in just being around one another, never caring what it was that you were doing.
"Do you think I'm pretty?"
When the question leaves your lips, Eddie is instantly confused, stopping his fingers movements on the strings he had been messing around with. Your face stayed stoic as you continued to scroll on your screen, almost like you didn't realize you said anything at all. It also confused him because it shouldn't even be a question at all.
Instead of saying the obvious answer, he did the worst thing possible, he laughs. His laughter isn't at you, it's at the stupidity of the question. Of course you're pretty, he thinks you're the most beautiful girl to ever walk the face of the planet.
You don't take his laughter to be kind, your face showing it when your lips drop down in a deep frown.
"You could've just said no, Eddie. Didn't really need you to laugh at me." Your tone is annoyed with a hint of sadness. Eddie wants to smack himself in the head, especially when he made you upset.
Quickly setting his guitar down beside the bed, Eddie's quick to lean up from where he had been sat up by the headboard of his bed, moving so now he's closer to your body that's sat opposite of his at the end.
"Honey I wasn't laughing at you, I was laughing at the question," his ringed hands move to cradle your cheeks, forcing you to look up at him, "Of course I think you're pretty. May I ask why you asked me that question?"
Although his tone is gentle, you shy away from his gaze, looking down at your phone that's still in the palm of your hand. He can see the gears turning in your head, the lie that you're trying to come up with to save yourself from whatever it is that is going on.
Shrugging your shoulders, you continue to look down at your hands, now playing with a loose string on your sweatpants.
"Baby," he coos and you melt in his hands that still hold onto the fat of your cheeks, "can you look at me?"
When you finally find the courage to look up at him, he can see the unushered tears in your eyes, the doubt that hides in your mind. Maybe it's not the best time to think this but he can't help but think how gorgeous you are, how lucky he is to be this close to see the different flecks of colors in your eyes.
"That's my girl, there she is. Now can you answer my question, love? What's goin' on in that pretty head of yours?" He moves his hands to push back your hair behind your ears, only to return one his hands to your cheek where he softly stroked it.
"I-um, I just," you let out a loud sigh, obviously overwhelmed with the emotions that are going on in your body. Eddie nods his head, a silent encouragement to continue.
"I just wanna be pretty, ya know? I just wanna be the girl that everyone falls in love with. I know it's unrealistic but I- I see all these girls on Instagram and the way that people comment all these wonderful things, and I just- I just want that so badly. These girls are so pretty and their bodies are so nice, and then there's me."
Eddie can't wrap his mind around what you just said to him. He can't fathom the idea that you can't see what he sees. He also can't help feel this incredibly disgusted with the way social media can warp a persons brain.
The rage in his body has started a wildfire, not with you but with society's expectations. He knows that you follow some of the famous socialites, having watched a few episodes of the Kardashians with you from time to time, and how you always comment about how you wished you looked like them.
There's been so many times he's heard the small insults you say about yourself, he hates that you try to play it off like a joke when deep down you're saying how you really feel.
When he wipes the tears that have since fallen from your eyes, he fights the urge to tell you everything he's been dying to tell you since the two of you became friends.
You're the girl of his dreams, the one that he wants to call his and show off to everyone to make them jealous. Every part of you is beautiful. He has dedicated the feel of your skin on his own so that when it's gone he can still feel it.
Every dip, curve, scar, and inch of your body that he has access to seeing is burned into his memory. You look like his favorite song, so perfect that it fills his heart with joy every time he sets his eyes on you.
"I wish you could see what I see." That's all that he can say, the only thing he can say without putting his friendship with you in jeopardy.
"What do you see?" Your eyebrows pull together and you look up at him with those big pretty eyes.
"Well if I'm being honest, you're the prettiest girl I've ever seen." You go to say something and he cuts you off. "Shh, let me say this. There is not one person on this earth that I think could hold a candle to you. Baby, you are so breathtaking that it hurts for me to even look at you."
"I know that the poets would just eat you up, writing line after line about you. Anyone would be lucky to love you honey, seriously you are out of everyone's league. There is not a doubt in my mind that you're gonna find someone who doesn't feel the same way, and if they don't I got a knuckle sammich comin' their way."
To emphasis his point, Eddie brings his knuckles to his fists as if he's reading for a fight. When you laugh he can't help but smile, feeling the butterflies in his stomach fly around with glee.
"Thank you Eds," wrapping your body around his middle in a tight hug, he enjoys the feeling of your warmth on his skin. Selfishly he kisses the top of your head that rests on his chest.
"No need to thank me, sweetheart. Any time you need me too I will gladly remind my girl just how beautiful she is."
Pulling away from him quicker than he likes, you crane your neck slightly to look at him. Your face is shining with the sticky tears that had fallen onto your cheeks, lips red and slightly swollen from the way you bit them, and all Eddie wants to do is take a picture.
"Do you wanna know what I think?" A sly smirk falls on your lips, a playful glint in your eye, and it makes him nervous.
"What's that?" His tone is light and playful, just like yours.
"I think that I wouldn't want just someone." You say while lightly tracing over the letters on Eddie's shirt. Looking down at you with raised eyebrows, he's sure his face is beat red.
"No?" It comes out like a whisper, so soft you almost miss it. When you shake your head, Eddie tilts his, raising an eyebrow in confusion.
"Then who do you want?"
"I want the boy who think's poets would right write line after line about me."
Pointing a finger to his chest, he mouths the words 'me?', still reeling with everything that just happened. Biting your lip to suppress the smile fighting its way on your face, you nod in agreement.
Finally when everything catches up to him, he reaches for your ribs, slightly pulling you over to lay next to him. Mounting himself on top of you, he can't help leave tiny kisses on your face, like an excited puppy who's waited all day for it's owners return.
"I've *kiss* have *kiss* been waiting *kiss* for you to *kiss* say that *kiss*" When he's finally done setting kisses on every square inch of your face, he sits up slightly to get a good look at the pretty girl underneath him.
"Well I've been waiting even longer, Mr. Eddie Munson."
"Well wait no further, baby. You're stuck with me forever."
Eddie goes back to attacking you with wet kisses, like if he stops he'll never be able to do it again. You return the favor by placing a delicate kiss on his lips.
All Eddie can hope is that this wasn't a dream because he's not sure how he'd be able to handle it.
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this is booty cheeks but im sad so let me have this lmao. also thank you for reading <3
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cambrinkisbae · 1 month
Text
.·:·.✧ Say No ✧.·:·.
NIka Muhl x Fem!Reader
"your probably having good times with a bad boy"
word count - 2.1k
themes:
-angst if u squint
-slight sexual content
-light fluff
A/N - this is gonna be a short series but I wrote this in honor of the weather getting warmer and so that I'm not so depressed about Nika leaving. sorry its so short..
Me and Nika Muhl started dating July 7th of 2022. It was a regular summer day in California. The entire team decided to go on a vacation together. It was hard leaving Connecticut to go hang out with the team I had just joined but oh whatever. The only downside to his trip was my shitty boyfriend.
Ex. Ex boyfriend sorry.
I had a mango smoothie in hand and watched as Paige and Azzi splashed each other with the bluest of waters. Every couple seconds I'd feel a breeze rush against my exposed collarbones. Even as the sun was beating down on me I felt so fresh and clean and free. My fingers felt around the sand I was sitting in. My eyes drifted from the ocean to the sky which was painted with oranges and yellows with pinky tones in-between. I took a sip from my smoothie before looking to my ride to find a creation brunette sitting down next to me. A soft smile was placed on her face as she made herself comfortable next to me.
Throughout the time that I was on this team, me and Nika barely talked outside of game days and team dinners. If I'm being honest, This summer was going to be my designated time to get closer with her. So her openly sitting next to me was a major step.
"Hey" her eyes flashed from the sand to me.
I quickly shaped my lips into a smile and looked into Nika's eyes.
"Hi theree"
I noticed her hands were wrapped around the handle of a beige tote bag. She let go of the bag to rest her hands against her chest as she laid herself down. Her sunglasses were black with a slightly lighter lens. She had on a bright blue bikini that the ends of her hair grazed ever so slightly. I felt her eyes linger towards mine as I admired her features.
"Sorry we haven't gotten to talk a lot in the past couple months" she said softly, accent thick.
"Your good. We have the whole summer to make up for it so don't worry" I kept my eyes locked on the ocean.
Up until now I thought Nika was the mean point guard who everyone was petrified by. And I was very convinced that they had a reason. But now talking to her face to face I felt myself grow confused on how this could've gotten around.
"Why aren't you out in the water huh?" The brunette said pointing to the ocean.
I shrugged my shoulders and turned my head to face Nika.
"I forgot my suit" an excuse quickly slipped out.
"Oh sure.." Nika said under her breath, clearly not believing me
Our conversation eventually died out so I decided to pull out a book from my beach bag. I flipped through the pages to find my last place and began reading. as I got lost in the words I didn't even realize that Nika had gotten up to go swim with the other girls. I peered through the top of my book to see Nika gently slipping her feet into the water. Ines quickly jumped onto Nika's back like a toddler on her mom. I couldn't help but giggle at the sight of Nika getting absolutely dunked into the water. Everyone but me and Qadence were in the water. I almost forgot I was even reading by the time Nika looked at me. I was caught staring at her. in a bikini. shit. I quickly darted my eyes down into my book and pretended that nothing happened.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Once the team got back to the hotel we were staying at the only thing I could focus on was trying to avoid Nika. Of course it was my luck that I happened to room with her. What a coincidence. I walked through the door of our room and set my flower printed bag on my bed and showered before doing anything else. I played my favorite summer playlist and left my clothes on the floor before stepping into the shower. My mind kept going back to the beach and seeing Nika in her bathing suit. Fuck. Doesn't she have a boyfriend or something? I cant be thinking this shit. But the way her hair was all wet and her laugh was so addicting to remember. The hot water running down my back along with the thought of Nika sent chills along my arms effortlessly.
I kept trying to focus on whatever SZA song was playing on my speaker but failed miserably. Soon enough I got out of the shower and slipped on a silk pajama set on. I braided my hair tightly and cleaned up the bathroom before turning the light off and leaving. When I got out of the bathroom the bedroom was still empty. Thank god. I flipped open my computer and turned on Outer Banks before pulling out my sketch book.
I came up with a rule before I came to UConn. The rule was that after everyday I have to draw anything that comes to mind until my mind is clear. Whether its cleared of happiness or anger. And I stuck to it.
Of course I had to draw the ocean and sand and all those beach like things. Before I knew it, I was drawing Nika. With her hair up with her hair down. In her bikini, in the outfit she wore yesterday and the day before. The was the first day that I had to shut my sketch book before my mind was clear because what the fuck was I doing. I couldn't be drawing Nika like a fucking psychopath. I stuffed my book into my suitcase and laid down on my bed. Time flew by as I watched more episodes of Outer Banks. So much time went by that when I was about to click 'next episode' to watch the last episode of season 3, Paige knocked on the door. Her head peeked through slowly. she had a devious smile on her lips and just like that her, Azzi, KK, Ice, and Nika busted through my door giggling and jumping around. Great they got high without me. I quickly protected my computer by closing it and putting it on my nightstand. Azzi crawled on top of my bed and sat next to me, placing her head on my shoulder.
While everyone laughed around hitting each other with pillows, I saw Nika standing in the corner on her phone. Her eyes seemed to get less and less dilated the more she tapped her thumbs aggressively on her screen. I stood up and walked up to her.
"You good?" I tried to not be nosey but gave up and looked down at her phone. She slowly handed it to me to show a text that her "boyfriend" sent. They broke up.
I quickly wrapped my arms around Nika and squeezed her tightly.
"He's going to be missing out on a lot love dont' worry"
Nika couldn't help but let a couple tears roll down her face. Just as I thought she was going to collapse and sob into my arms she pulled away and stared into my eyes menacingly. Her fingers quickly wrapped around my hand and began dragging me to the side. I looked up to see Nika leading me outside into the hallway. she led me all the way to Paige and Azzi's room. Without any hesitation she shut the door and locked it behind her.
"Nika what are you doi-" I began to say
"Shut up please."
Before even realizing what was happening I felt Nika press her lips against mine. A small gasp left my mouth but it wasn't a gasp that said I don't want to do this it was a gasp that said don't stop. My tongue quickly found its place against hers. Her hand lifted my thigh up against her hips and I quickly followed what she was doing by lifting my other leg up around her waist. She lifted my entire body up against hers and carried me to the other wall. She pressed my back against the wall and moved her lips down my neck, pausing in-between kisses to leave marks around each vein. My hands were wrapped around the back of her neck, my nails slightly dug into her skin the lower she got.
"Off." She said sternly once her lips reached the edge of my pajama top.
I didn't pause to think about anything and took off my top revealing my sports bra. Her fingers teased at the hem of my pants clearly wanting to take them off. Unfortunately for her it wasn't that easy.
"uh uh. you first"
I looked her dead in the eye and ran my hands across her tank top. Her hand released my waist, not changing the grip my legs had onto her waist. She slipped off her black tank top without breaking our eye contact. Her lips immediately gravitated back to my chest. I couldn't help but let out a soft whine as her lips made their way closer to my stomach.
"I can tell this is what you meant by getting to know each other" she spat before placing a kiss on my lips as she slipped off my pajama bottoms.
"Mind reader much?" I said in response
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The morning after everything that happened that night was unbearable. My eyes slowly blinked open to see Nika laying on my chest. Calm breaths left her mouth followed by a couple snores. I gently slipped out from under her and got dressed. As I walked into the bathroom I realized that I was definitely not in my room. We were both still in Paige and Azzi's room. Fuck fuck fuck.
Before even thinking, I rushed out of the room leaving Nika and ran to my room. The first thing I saw was Paige, Azzi, KK, and Ice laying on me and Nika's beds. Limbs sprawled out and everything. I chose to ignore the girls and ran to he bathroom to brush my teeth and clean myself up before Nika woke up. Once my hair was brushed out I slicked it back into a ponytail and got changed into a light orange sweater and grey Nike shorts. My feet were thankfully covered with a pair of socks. After I got changed and fixed myself up, I rushed back to Paige and Azzi's room to find a still asleep Nika laying on Paige's bed. She was now cuddled up onto the pillow I previously was sleeping on. Her hair was clearly tangled and her mascara was smudged.
I decided to do the most cringey and kidney of weird thing ever but who cares. I grabbed makeup remover and a brush from my bag and started by taking off her mascara. This woke Nika up quickly but she didn't do anything about it but groan. Once her mascara was off, I completely woke her up and helped her sit up so that I could brush her hair. Gently teasing through the tangles, I brushed through her hair. Her eyes were still mainly closed but she still tried her best to loop up at me as I gave her a mini makeover. Not that she needed it.
Once we were both fixed up a word still wasn't exchanged. Just giggling every few minutes. The both of us chose to ignore whatever happened last night even though we were both VERY aware that what happened well. Happened.
The rest of the day went by smoothly. Not many people asked what we were doing in Paige and Azzi's room surprisingly. a few glances were shared throughout the day whether it was when we went out to go shopping or when we went to shoot free throws for fun.
The same thing happened almost every night for the next week. Nika would be in whatever mood she was in so she'd crawl into my arms and lay there until we got each other's clothes off. We stayed like that for what felt like forever until July hit. Things began to get more innocent if you could use that word. The girls began to notice how close we were and how it took us a while to get up out of bed every couple of days. We decided to clear up everything and you know. Date.
Of course not everyone agreed with this. When we made things official, two specific men had very strong opinions about this. Of course when things were officiated my mind was completely blank when it came to the fact that I still had a boyfriend. A shitty one but still.
Now I'm not saying that cheating was the right thing but I mean…it's Nika Muhl who could say no.
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explosionkatsu · 7 months
Text
Just some random drabbles. Hahahahaha!
Bakugo x Singlemom Y/n
"I can't do this."
The love of your life said after you gave birth to your baby.
"W-what?" You couldn't believe what you were hearing. Why now? Why is he backing up now?
"I can't be a father. I don't know how to be a father. Fuck, we shouldn't have done this." He spouted. "I can't take care of that thing."
"This thing you're talking about is our child." You were now enraged. Angry tears streaming down your face as you stare in the man in front of you.
This was supposed to be a great moment. He, carrying your child in his arms while you gaze at them lovingly. But no. He was backing out.
The dream of having your own family was immediately shattered.
"W-why?" You asked. "Why now?"
He looked at you with frantic eyes as if he suddenly realized all his responsibilities. "I'm sorry."
The last word you heard from him before he finally left.
---
Several nurses came to your room when they suddenly heard you crying. Some pity you and some comfort you.
You don't know what to do, what to think.
Your tears continuously stream down your cheeks as you stare at what is supposed to be your little bundle of joy. But right now, as you gaze at your son's peaceful complexion, you are hurting. Everything reminded you of that asshole.
You remembered giving up as a hero when you met him. You remember him telling you how much he wanted a family with you.
All of it was a lie.
"Why.." You whispered. "Why does it have to be me.." You sobbed.
Some days passed like a blur. You were exhausted, depressed, and motionless. Whenever your child starts crying, you can't take him in your arms to rock him to sleep or feed him. You had to ring a nurse to assist you.
They were very understanding of your situation, though. They never complain or even ignore you. Some are comforting you, giving you your meal even though you never touched it. They were worrying about you.
Until you decided to tell him.
He's been there with you ever since high school. Sure, everyone didn't expect you two to be companions, but as of the moment, he's the only someone you have.
Gradually, you picked up your phone from the table beside you. Seeing how many missed calls and messages he left made you at least smile. You read a few of his messages before you click the call button and put it on speaker waiting for him to pick up.
---
An uneventful patrol is what is in his head as he walks around where he's positioned. People are greeting him which he nods in response. Some tried taking a picture with him but he refused to entertain them since he was on duty. He can't lose his concentration.
That was when his phone suddenly rang. If it's Eijiro, he'll sure hang up. But when he checked the caller ID, it was you. Instantly, he pressed the answer button and placed his phone next to his ear.
"The hell happened to you? Why haven't you answered my calls?" Katsuki spoke out while still keeping an eye around him.
Katsuki heard you chuckle on the other line.
"Hello to you too, Katsuki." You giggled.
"You didn't answer my question, dumbass." He tsked.
"I-i.."
Something's off and he knows it.
"What's wrong?" Almost instantly, Katsuki's voice went soft.
You didn't know how to tell him. Katsuki has always hated your ex ever since you guys started dating. He was even pointing out the red flags and yet you chose to ignore his advice.
"I- Katsuki.." You muttered, trying not to cry.
Katsuki was patient though.
"He left.."
After those words came out of your lips, Katsuki immediately asked for her location and ended the call.
There are other heroes around him. They can protect them. Right now, his top priority is you.
---
Once Katsuki reached the hospital, the receptionist was surprised by his sudden appearance. Part of them wanted to be a fan girl but right now, he looks like he's on a rush.
"Tell me Y/N L/N's room, now."
"Y-yes Mr. Dynamight."
---
When Katsuki swung the door, it opened too quickly causing it to hit the wall loudly.
"Y/n!?" He yelled.
But the view in front of him shut him up.
There you are, sitting on the hospital bed as you gaze outside the window, carrying a sleeping baby.
"You'll wake him up, you know." You giggled and turned your gaze to him.
"Where is he?" He growled and made his way towards you closing the poor door behind him.
Mentioning him suddenly made your smile drop and stare at your child.
"H-he.. Backed out.." You said as you gazed upon the peaceful sleeping child in your arms. "He left us."
"That motherfucker." Katsuki cussed. "I know he's a coward."
You chuckled sadly. "You've always warned me about him." You said. "I should've listened."
Katsuki didn't say anything. He dragged a chair and sat beside the hospital bed close to you.
"I should've believed in every word you said." You were now tearing up. "I should've-" You couldn't hold it back any longer and sob quietly. "I-i'm sorry, Katsuki.."
"Tsk." you heard him.
Standing up once again, Katsuki sat on your hospital bed this time and placed a palm on your cheek, wiping a tear with his thumb. "Dumbass." He said, staring at you. "Why are you apologizing? Didn't I tell you I will support you in all your decisions? Everything." He added.
You looked at him, still tearing up. You were so lucky you had someone like him.
Several minutes have passed until you finally calm down. Your head resting against his shoulder while he plays with your hair.
"I can be his father." he blurts out of nowhere which makes you pull back and stare at him in disbelief.
"What?" You were confused, okay?
"I want to be his father." Katsuki repeated with a blank face.
"K-katsuki. I-
"Look." Katsuki sighed. "I liked you for what? How many fucking years. Fuck, this isn't the right time for a confession, but hell. I- shit. I don't like you, I fucking love you, you idiot."
He was ranting while you were still processing what he said.
He loves you?
"Y-you love me?" You blinked.
"I said a lot of words and that's the only one you heard?"
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jaegerisim · 9 months
Text
Vent post y'all are gonna hate me for.
I viscerally hate how the Duffers treat most of their non white or queer characters and I hate even more viscerally, how y'all big byler blogs in your circle jerk of other 5 big byler blogs casually like to ignore many red flags the show has.
Y'all like to say: "tHe DufFeRs ArE gReAt WrIteRs" and it's like girl, who are you lying to??? They aren't top shit writers at all. The Duffers are pretty mid imo. Yeah, they run a good show that's fun to watch and theorize abt , but that doesn't mean they're good writers cuz they're not.
1. they completely side lined Will during s3 for the sake of their straight romances: lumax, jancy, mlvn, duzie and partly stobin (even if stobin wasn't endgame, thankfully, Steve's intentions were clearly wanting to date Robin and they gave it a lot of screen time). Will was sidelined bc he didn't fit the straight romance plotline bc they planned to make him gay or whatever. Now in s4 Will and his feelings have been used as mlvn toilet paper. Yes, we like to say this is build up for byler but canonically, Will's feelings have been used to clean the shit mlvn leaves behind.
2. Billy was sympathized a lot during the last 2 seasons. They gave him the sad backstoryTM in order for ppl to feel sorry for him. Billy's backstory is literally Jonathan's but whatever.
3. El's anger issues are constantly girlboss-ified. They down play her bullying situation and literally just use it for El to be a ''girlboss" without realizing how triggering that is. As someone who has lived bullying, seeing it be ignored by canon and fanon is super sad. The whole Rink-O' Mania experience must have been so traumatizing for her yet, everyone absolutely forgets abt it 🤷🏻‍♀️
4. Robin, Erica and Argyle are stereotypical characters. Robin is the quirky lesbian with social anxiety, Erica is the badass black woman and Argyle is the Latino stoner that sells weed to white kids and works as a pizza delivery guy.
5. Altho Argyle and Eddie both do drugs, (Eddie actually sells K-12 to a minor and nobody batted an eye. He has a huge fan base). Eddie is held in a pedestal bc "poor thing 🥺 he lives in a trailer with his uncle 🥺". Tell me a single fact you know abt Argyle that isn't "he smokes weed", "he is Jonathan's only friend", "drives a van" and "he works at a pizzeria". Exactly, Eddie is given a useless backstory and Argyle isn't.
6. Dustin stopped being important to the plot sometime around s2 and s3. He is only there to curse and be mildly funny. My guy needs to hangout with ppl his age cuz he only hangs out with seniors.
7. El needs to stop having so much "I'M THAT BITCH" screentime like I need in s5 for El's arc to not just be her becoming more powerful and falling in love with Mike. I need the Duffers to explore her trauma and problems.
8. Angela should have been run over by the van.
9. Patrick should have been given a backstory that isn't the basic "strict black parents that hit their kids cuz they are a disgrace". Patrick's backstory is actually racist af, fight w the wall.
10. As Lex already said, they didn't trigger tag the ep where Jason and his friends assault Lucas and Erica. Like wtf? Why was that necessary? Why did I have to see a black boy being held at gunpoint by some white guy?? Was it relevant to the plot?? I don't think so. And then I've got to see ppl online be like "Jason wasn't that bad. He was just mourning" like bitch you can stfu. This is what happens when you make the racist assholes conventionally attractive.
Also the fact that Lucas's arc is fulfilled by him fist-fighting Jason and "embracing his weirdness" aka accepting he is black. His arc was not fulfilled at all cuz that ending spoke so loud to me. It showed how little empathy ppl have towards the struggles poc ppl living in the Midwest have. Y'all circle jerks can only see racism when it's super obvious.
Furthermore, parents complained when ST showed "an excessive amount of smoking" yet nobody batted an eye when Billy tried to run over Lucas, when Erica (an 11 y.o ffs) was chased by white kids or when Lucas was held at gunpoint by Jason.
All of this happened while they focused on Max's guilt and mourning that, yeah, are important but certainly not less important than racism!!!
11. In s3, they gave us that whole Nancy vs The Bigots arc that was honestly just triggering and useless. It didn't help Nancy's character at all, quite the opposite it put unnecessary angst.
12. Lonnie being presented as an abuser just for him to never be spoken of again. Can we please get to explore the trauma he left the Byers's with?
13. The fact that both queer relationships are considered "sloppy seconds" is extremely sad. Both Vickie and Mike are rebounding from their failed relationship with Robin and Will. These 2 ships have caused more commotion than Jancy and Jopper together! (These last ships are technically sloppy seconds too but everybody forgets that. Shocker!!)
14. Last but not least, ppl blame Argyle for being the one to get Jonathan into smoking weed as if Jonathan probably wasn't the one looking for it. Let me tell you, that you only find weed if you look for it.
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Note
AITA for indulging in my boyfriend's cuck kink?
Alright, so for some background, both me (25, M, panromantic asexual) and my BF (28, M, bisexual) live in a VERY conservative rural area, literally NOBODY knows we're together even though we've been dating for years and the community is pretty tight-knit, that's how much effort we've put into hiding ourselves. We've thought about moving out but honestly other than the constant threat of being found out our life here is pretty great, we know everyone in the community and are on very friendly terms with them, we were both born and raised here so we're honestly kinda scared of losing everything and starting over in a new place, plus I really want to stay to support my dad because I know he can already get pretty lonely as is (mom works out of town, only visits for holidays if even that, plus I don't have any other siblings to keep him company) and me moving away would hurt him a lot.
Now, with that out of the way onto the actual situation: the cuck thing is something me and my boyfriend have discussed about at length, he's not shy about it to me and I'm always glad to make him happy so I'd be open to trying it if the opportunity arose. The thing is- I never really thought there WOULD be an opportunity for it due to the circumstances described above. Well, that was until a girl we both know confessed to me on Christmas Eve. That girl- let's call her Ellie (23, F, straight(?))- is someone I've actually had feelings for a while now (my BF knows and told me he'd be fine with me dating her as an 'official' relationship, but only if I keep us a secret), however I never did anything about those feelings. I was honestly kinda shocked when the confession happened, but in a good way, and I ended up accepting in the heat of the moment, so now me and Ellie have been 'officially' dating for about a month.
Here's where I think I might be the asshole: since that happened my BF has started to hang out with the two of us while we're acting like a very lovey-dovey couple and he's obviously been getting off on that (as in, it's obvious to me, doubt anyone else picked up on it) and I've been having mixed feelings about this. On one hand we did talk about it and agree to it, but on the other I do think this is unfair to Ellie in a way that I didn't realize previously because I never realistically considered this happening. My BF is reassuring me, saying that it's best we keep hidden anyway and that so long as nobody finds out no harm is done, but I still feel kinda bad about it, yet at the same time I don't really know what I should do in this situation to make it right. The whole thing only gets even more complicated when you account for the fact that Ellie is our pastor's granddaughter and as such comes from a very well known family in our community, a family that has a reputation to uphold, and if the thing about me and my BF came out it would surely impact her badly in that way as well. On the other, she really gets along with my son (8, M) and I really think that she'd make a great mother to him so I don't want to deprive him of that and break things off just because of my own personal drama. On the other OTHER hand I also don't want to break up with my BF because it would feel cruel in my opinion, especially when I very much still love him.
So, AITA for keeping my promise and just going along with this and keeping quiet to save myself and my BF?
What are these acronyms?
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arminsumi · 2 months
Text
♡ 𝐃𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐤 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬
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𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 : you and Suguru were too confused to realize that you liked each other back then, and now look at you two; short-lived romances litter your lives and drunk confessions dissolve the next day. It's all a mess. Add to that the fact that Suguru broke you and Satoru up behind the scenes; it's a drama written by the number one drama queens; Gojo Satoru and Geto Suguru.
𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : fem reader / Geto Suguru / Gojo Satoru / college au
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : 🔞 Minors do not interact / 18+ / smut, plot, angst, miscommunication, mutual pining, breakups, Drama (with a capital D), alcohol/drunkenness, drunk s*x, unprotected sex, breeding kink, creampie, dirty talk
𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞 : i found a drunk!suguru confession post in my drafts and rolled with it 🙈
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playing it off. playing it cool. he's suguru geto. everyone likes him and he likes pretending like he's oblivious to that, but it makes his ego swell.
you think; oh every girl in my friend group likes him so why should i bother? he's going to overlook me. he's overlooking me right now.
he thinks; oh she's not into me. she must think she's too pretty for me. if i try to lure her in will she think i'm showing off? fuck it i don't care i'm showing off to her.
you think; oh he's a show-off but he does it so well. why do i have to like the ones who don't like me back?
he thinks; oh is she playing blind? or did she not see me at all. what do i have to do? make her jealous?
you think; oh he's got a girlfriend now? of course he does. yeah, of course he does... i feel sick.
he thinks; why is she looking at me so bitterly? am i fucking things up? maybe she used to like me back then.
you think; if he's dating someone, then i'm dating someone, too. i can't be alone and without him. this was manageable when he was single, not now.
*****
suguru geto comes up to you in the corridor with a confrontational tone of voice;
"why the fuck are you sleeping with my best friend?"
and he thinks you have some audacity to just shrug in response. he presses, but you avoid answering until he locks in on you in the corner of a classroom now, moving out of the corridor for some privacy. yes, much needed privacy.
"i'm gonna ask you again, nicely—"
"it's not really your business. i mean, i don't pry into your life, do i?"
your reply slaps him across the face and he just stays silent, then storms off.
*****
gojo satoru broke up with you a week after dating. figures. he was a playboy after all, and you knew it, so why are you crying?
"really, get it together. there is more to life than this nonsense. come on, get yourself out there again. buy yourself an expensive red dress. get your nails and hair and makeup done. and go strutting like the world is yours."
"... thanks mom." you reply in a sarcastic gurgle, eyes crusty from crying.
shoko is rubbing your feet, you're watching a soapie together because she claims it makes her feel better after dreadfully long shifts at the hospital.
"you know, i warned you about satoru, didn't i?"
"... yes, you did." you hang your head.
"why'd you chase after satoru then?" shoko asked seriously.
"dick."
"... be serious."
"... i really like suguru."
"oh. well. the plot thickens." shoko looks at the tv, then at you. "trying to go the roundabout way to meet him?"
"yeah. he's got a girl now, you know."
"... are you sure?" shoko looks at you suspiciously, "it sounds like you haven't stalked his socials in a hot minute..."
"what, why?" you perk your ears up like a bunny.
"uh, 'cause like... his "girl" just deleted all the pictures of him and her together and he did the same. sooo..."
*****
you do buy yourself a good, wine-red dress and although you selected it purely because you daydreamed of suguru geto romantically lifting it off of you, that never happened that night because everything went wrong and ended in a drunk mess.
avoiding satoru was not easy when you looked so good and he was so horny and lonely, so you let him heatedly mark you up with his lips in the bathroom and put his hands all over you. the way he squeezed and massaged your body made you think for a split second that he really did like you. and the way he kissed you? he kissed you like a romantic — yeah, horny. of course horny. but a romantic over that.
"... why do you look so good tonight..." he said, as if it was unfair.
"uh-huh." you reply. "that's thirty minutes up, playboy."
"daaamn i'm not a playboy, stop calling me that." satoru groaned, and like a sexy playboy.
"you sound like one every time you open your mouth."
"then silence me." he replied with a wink.
"... i'm going to go find shoko."
he made a whiny noise.
"but—"
"—no, satoru."
"okay."
satoru looked like he was holding back a lot, but you couldn't understand what he was holding back. did he just want sex? was that it? no, not with that look in his eyes. he didn't look at you like a wolf, he looked at you like the breakup was a robbery for him, and you were stolen.
stolen by who? who knows. i don't know. do you know? hm. maybe you can guess.
*****
i hate drinking, suguru thinks as he stumbles around the party bleary-eyed and swaying, leaning, into any wall that could care to hug him right now.
i hate it here, too.
he looks disgustedly at everyone, then goes into the quiet backyard where there's no life but the crickets in the grass.
why can't she like me as much as i like her?
he's mean and drunk. he's hurt.
that's why when the two of you encounter each other, an argument froths up.
"damn what's your problem tonight?" you asked after he made some passive aggressive comment.
"you."
"me? the fuck did i do?" you look at him.
"you ruined my life..." he slurs romantically.
"... what?"
he kisses you so softly. you tense up, far too confused to enjoy it even though his kiss is something you've wanted for a while now.
when he pulls back and sees your facial expression, he feels guilty.
did they lie? it seems like i'm not as good of a kisser as they said.
"... i love you." he says against your face.
"you're drunk."
"no, i'm in love." he says drunkenly.
"let's get you sober..."
"i mean it!"
"then say it when you're sober. i think you think you love me right now, but tomorrow you won't make eye contact with me. in fact, i know you'll pretend this never happened."
he sniffles, starting to cry.
"shit, don't cry. i don't know what to do if you cry."
"... just hold me... i'm cold." he says.
it's summer, but i'm cold and lonely and in need a warm touch.
you hold him.
for a while, he just stays there with his head on your upper chest. his nose gets stuffy as he keeps crying. unable to tell whether it's the alcohol or you that's making him cry right now.
"can i come home with you?" he asks.
and he asks it in such a soft, pathetic voice that you can't say no.
"alright. but no funny business..."
"yeah, of course."
i'm too drunk and sad, even if you'd want that i couldn't.
so you take the train home with him at 2 AM. the train handles sway overhead. there's a lot of empty seats. the lighting is stark. you're cuddled together like awkward lovers after an argument. suguru almost falls asleep from your body warmth.
*****
you herd a drunk suguru into your bedroom and turn the lights on.
"lay down." you tell him. "i'll get you water."
"i love you."
"okay." you reply flippantly, but his words struck you and they'd settle in your mind for days to come.
"just 'okay'?" he lifts his head sadly from the pillow.
"i don't know what to do with your "i love you". it's just too much right now. you've given me mixed signals for months and now you hit me with this?" you shake your head at him.
he pouts to himself, still incredibly drunk. all he can really hear and feel and need is you.
"... cuddles?" he asks.
"okay..."
so you lay with him and he's so overjoyed he blatantly smiles about it, soaking up your warmth and the softness of the bed. your bed. he's in your bed, cuddling you, just like he knew he would one day. even if it's under a strange circumstance. even if everything was confusing and messed up, in your bed everything made sense.
but you're laying there wondering, is he going to pretend this never happened once he's sober tomorrow? is he going to pretend the two of you didn't lay together, talking about your lives in hushed voices, sharing childhood memories with laughter — is all of this going to dissolve the next day just like the alcohol dissolves from him?
you don't know.
suguru's needy squeezing and soft breathing in your ear make you feel loved, even if it's just drunken love. and somewhere in the cave of his mind, he's hoping that by the morning his courage won't have evaporated and he won't become a coward and damn just love you.
"kiss me." he mumbles against your cheek.
"what, right now?"
"of course right now."
you don't know where his sudden need to kiss came from, but you sympathize with the drunkard — they need a kiss to warm up and feel alright. but you also shake, just a little, because this is what you want, too.
one kiss doesn't satisfy him, he gets greedy. and greedier after each kiss, until his tongue is slithering into your mouth and he's leaning on you with his weight, pressing a boner into your lower half.
"suguru... don't. you're gonna regret it in the morning, probably."
"... how could i regret you?"
the shift in his voice told you that some of the alcohol had worn off, albeit not too much.
his fingertips press into your skin and it sends him to heaven. you're sighing under his touch, trying to practice self-restraint, because this drama keeps getting more dramatic and you didn't want to contribute to it more by fucking with the best friend of the guy you dated — er, whom you dated to get back at said guy for dating someone else.
suguru kisses your neck tenderly, and that's when you snap and give in completely.
"... i want you."
"then have me."
******
a shuddery moan escapes suguru when he slides inside you. he spreads your legs a little wider, snuggling his waist between them like he's found his home.
"kinda romantic, aren't you?" you tease. "i could practically see your pupils dilating there."
he hums at the sensation of your wet walls gripping him.
"yeah, romantic — i'm sure you noticed that about satoru, too, huh?"
"someone's jealous..."
he bottoms out in you so slowly that it's easier to take. he's not unbearably big, not unbearably thick, just perfectly filling you.
"... of course i'm jealous, why'd you think i told him to break up with you."
"huh?"
you don't have time to question this crazy revelation because he's driving into you back and forth hard all of a sudden, knocking you into a near-orgasm with how perfectly he angles into your g-spot.
"fuck, baby!" he whines into your shoulder, "you feel so good!"
"s-suguru..."
"yeah, say my name." he commands breathlessly, "say it over and over until i cum."
he sounds nearly pathetic, like he hasn't pleasured his cock in forever. he's nearly drooling. just going crazy for you but at the same time trying to maintain his cool "i'm geto suguru" — which slips completely when he cums prematurely.
"i love you, oh my god i love you so fucking much, will you have my baby?"
"y—y–yeah! i'll — fuck! — i'll have your baby, suguru!" you reply.
"oh, good girl." he moans, "get pregnant for me."
he's so whipped by your reply that even though his cock is overstimulated and sensitive from cumming, he still drives into you until you reach your orgasm. he even snuggles his fingers into your clit and rubs it frantically, practically forcing your orgasm to arrive. he just loves to see it wrack your body and make you curl in.
"fuck... you're so beautiful." he says as he watches you cum all over his cock.
"s—suguru!" you pant, totally incoherent for a few seconds because of how strong your orgasm came over you.
he's slowly sliding his softening cock in and out, until he slides it out your stretched-out hole and you can hear him slide out — practically hear how thick his cum is as it dribbles out of you.
"creampies are pretty romantic, huh?" he jokes, smirking down at you as you pant.
"... you're crazy."
"i'm crazy for you."
"... me too."
he cuddles you for the rest of the night as if that's all he ever needed to hear. and what consequences would come for fucking you when he knew satoru genuinely likes you?
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© arminsumi
I do not permit the copying/reposting/translation/plagiarism of my works. Do not steal what I've worked hard to create.
This is fictional work.
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snowfll · 4 months
Text
Forever Winter; Treech
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pairing - victor!Treech x district7!reader summary - after Treech wins the 10th Hunger Games, he returns home but he isn’t the same boy you knew before. words - 1.58k warning - allusions to suicide and depression. note - I'm so sorry this took me forever to get out, finals are coming up and I am stressing. I have a treech fic coming out on wattpad soon, so go follow me @ snowfll.
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The moment his name was called in the reaping, your entire world froze. You both were 18; it being the last year there was a chance either of you were chosen to be tributes. You thought you were safe, that the two of you would be able to live the rest of your lives in peace—well, as peaceful as you can get in District 7. You were wrong—very wrong.
“Now, time for the male tribute,” the mayor called out as he stuck his hand into the second bowl. “Treech.” Everything in the district went silent; the only thing heard was your gasp, which soon turned into tears.
His eyes were on you the entire time as he walked up the stage—it felt like a nightmare you couldn’t wake up from. As he stood there, the weight of the impending separation hung heavy in the air. That was the last time you saw him in person; as soon as the reaping ended, he had been dragged off the stage by peacekeepers.
For the next few days, you couldn’t bring yourself to go to work; instead, you found yourself sitting in front of one of the few TVs in the district. After being told they would show the games on live television this year, you prayed to see even a glimpse of him.
When the tribute interviews came on, you were finally able to see Treech. He looked paler and skinnier than usual, and he had a sad expression on his face. Looking around, he saw the camera pointing directly at him and began to fidget with his hat, the one you had gotten him a few years prior to keep the sun out of his face when working.
He wore it every day, claiming it was his good luck charm and comfort object. You noticed he would play with the rim whenever he was nervous or he was the main focus of a conversation. Treech never liked attention—opting to hang out with you in a secluded part of the forest as opposed to being with his large group of friends.
“So, let’s talk about your life back in District 7. You’ve caught the eyes of many capital ladies in your short time here.” The man, known as Lucky, paused as the crowd began to scream for Treech. “We are all wondering, and when I say that, I mean everyone—is there a special lady waiting on you back home?”
"Uhh, there is this one girl, but we aren’t together—yet. She is amazing, truly. If there is one thing that can motivate me through the games, it would be her.” You smiled, knowing he was talking about you. He was never interested in other girls, no matter how many times they tried to get with him. Lucky thanked him before welcoming the next tribute on stage.
The following morning marked the first day of the Hunger Games, and you refused to watch; you couldn’t watch as he fought for his life. You had nightmares, starting the day he left—watching the games would just confirm everything you saw.
₊˚。⋆❆⋆。˚₊
When you heard the news, you were ecstatic—he did it; he won. The prospect of him returning to the district that very day filled you with a sense of exhilaration. Anticipation built as you made your way to the train station, the sound of the train arriving growing louder with each step. The atmosphere was filled with a mix of emotions—relief, nervousness, and agitation.
Although this was bound to be a happy moment, you couldn’t help but realize the lack of people who came to greet him. The only people around were the peacekeepers standing guard and his younger sister, Talia, whom you brought along as a surprise. Treech was very close with Talia; with his parents having to work all day, they were absent most of their lives. This left him to take care of both himself and his sister.
As you caught sight of him, you took notice of the train, which seemed to be one owned by the capital rather than the ones used by the districts. The condition he was in was worse than you last saw in the interview. He wore new and improved clothing that bore the unmistakable mark of Capitol fashion—his lucky hat still on his head. The scars of the arena were evident as he was bandaged up in all kinds of places.
Approaching him, you could see the fatigue etched into his features—a weariness that went beyond his physical wounds. Once he saw you, he ran into your arms, taking off his hat as his head fell into the crook of your neck.
“Everything is okay; you are safe now,” you reassured him, playing with his hair in an attempt to calm him. The weight of his exhaustion seemed to lift slightly in the security of your arms, the familiar touch offering comfort amid the distress of the games.
Talia stood nearby, her eyes wide with awe and concern. The two of you shared a glance, silently acknowledging the shared responsibility felt toward Treech’s well-being.
Gently pulling away from the embrace, Treech’s eyes met yours, filled with gratitude and longing. With a tender smile, you motioned for Talia to join in the reunion. She approached the two of you cautiously, as if afraid to ruin the moment between the older ‘couple’ in front of her. Yet, as Treech brought her into a protective hug, her smile grew—she had her brother back.
₊˚。⋆❆⋆。˚₊
Everything from that day on was perfect—or at least that's what it seemed like. Treech walked around with a smile on his face, like nothing ever happened. His laugh was normal; no matter how hard the day was, his symphony-like laugh always managed to cheer you up. You should’ve known something was wrong—how could you not know?
You found yourself observing him more closely, trying to distinguish the subtle shifts in his demeanor. Late at night, when the district fell silent, he was awake, wishing it was how it used to be before the games.
One evening, as the two of you walked through the familiar forests, you found the courage to check up on him. “Treech, are you really okay? I mean, with everything that went down. It’s okay if you are hiding your feelings; you can trust me."
He paused, his smile seeming to fade, before he replied, “I have a feeling I am going to feel this way forever. It’s not just a phase.”
You wondered how you hadn't seen it earlier—how the façade of normalcy had masked the emotional turmoil that lay beneath the surface. The entire time, you thought he was fine, living his life as a victor, when in reality he was breaking down.
From that moment on, your commitment to Treech deepened. Days were spent deciphering the intricate puzzles in his head. Once you started to spend the nights at his, you really noticed what was happening.
The quiet darkness of his room served as a canvas for the grim thoughts that occupied his mind. On the bed beside him, you were sound asleep as he sat restlessly against the headboard. As dawn approached, you woke up to find him in the same position he was in before he fell asleep—he was motionless.
Scared something happened to him, you shook his body, ultimately waking him up from his trance. His eyes, glazed over with a distant emptiness, gradually refocused on the room around him.
You spoke softly, the concern evident in your voice, “Treech, are you okay? What happened?”
He hesitated as if struggling to find the right words to convey the complexity of his emotions. Finally, he let out a heavy exhale, one that carried the weight of the night. “I… I don’t know. It’s just… hard, you know?” In that instant, the vulnerability in his confession broke down the wall that kept you at a distance.
Gently, you reassured him, "You don’t have to carry this burden alone. I will love you even at your darkest, so please don’t go.” You don’t know what you would do without him; his few days of absence have already taken a huge toll on you. Even while having him back, you still fall to pieces on the floor if he isn’t around.
The sincerity in your voice seemed to pierce through the fog of his inner turmoil, offering a lifeline in the face of the darkness that threatened to consume him. His hesitance around you melted away, replaced by a shared understanding that you were in it together.
“You don’t know how much you mean to me,” Treech confessed, his voice filled with the same vulnerability he had a few moments ago. “I don’t want to go. I need you more than you can imagine. You brighten up my day—like the sun shining down through the trees.” With those words, you wrapped your arms around him, drawing him into a comforting embrace.
From that day onward, your connection deepened. Your love, like the gentle rays of a summer sun, thawed at the icy remainders of his nagging memories. There were still difficult days and haunted nights, but the assurance that he wasn’t alone in the journey provided him with the power to push through. The summer sun, your sun, illuminated his path, casting away the shadows of his past and lighting up your future, where your love went beyond even the darkest of winters—his forever winter.
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