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mysticheathenn · 3 days

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Where Does Your Life Require Focus?

Hi, Hexlings!

This pick-a-card reading is all about where in your life you need to put more focus on This could be school, work, friendship, family, etc.

This is a general reading, remember to take what resonates and leave what does not. This reading does not supplement your need to seek professional help. Tarot should be used as entertainment and not a sure answer to your problems but as a guide, a sense of hope, and amusement.

Take your time when choosing your pile. Ask yourself the question and choose the picture that you can’t stop looking at. Listen to your intuition.

Pile l:

Tarot: 5 of Cups (reversed), Queen of Cups (reversed), The Wheel (reversed), 7 of Swords, Page of Pentacles, Queen of Swords (reversed). Clarigyer for 5 of Cups (reversed): 10 of Wands & King of Wands

"Every time I leave something keeps pullin' me back, me back. Telling me I need you in my life." - Chingy. This feels like a toxic love connection pile l that either you are currently in or you recently left. This may be with someone you have an on-and-off relationship with or this could be a repeating cycle of constantly meeting the same type of people to date with the ending always ending the same way. Either way with all of your Queen cards in reverse....I need you to stand up. The part of your life that requires your main attention right now is standing up for yourself and seeing your worth. Stop letting people play in your face, love bomb you, and make you feel less than the royal person you are. I feel a lot of you have been putting in most of the work in this relationship and you're tired of falling for the sweet nothings that they whisper in your ears to get you to calm down when you express how tired you are of their shit. Smooth Operator by Sade played in my head. You're tired of the sneakiness, the lies, the love bombs, and the gaslighting for a few of you, you're just tired of the same old story but something in you can't seem to let go because you don't value yourself let alone your time. You always don't feel as if you can do better than what you are or have been currently dealing with (this message is only for a few of you.) Just like Smokey the Bear's slogan says "Remember only you can put out wildfires." Well your slogan for this reading is "Remember only you can stop these cycles" and it starts with loving yourself, standing on business, and not going back to the people who keep hurting you all because you are afraid of being alone, the dick/pussy bomb/, or lack of belief in who you are to catch someone better.

Extra Messages: Oracle: You deserve love. Remember always that you deserve a love where you feel at peace, happy, and fulfilled. A love where you can relax your fight or flight system.

Pile ll:

Tarot: 8 of Swords, The Fool (Both Upright), The Moon,,, 7 of Cups, The Lovers, The Hierophant (All Reversed).

You deserve to follow your heart and passion pile ll. You are the only one holding yourself hostage to the things you want in your life. I believe most of you have been receiving signs and synchronicities to take the leap in the direction that has been calling you for sometime but for some strange reason you are hesitant to jump. It's as if you are stuck in the mindset that what you are currently doing is something you have to keep doing and you keep feeding yourself lies, fears, doubts, and imposter syndromes to keep yourself stuck in one place when you are meant to answer the call. Whatever that call is for you, this could be work, moving to a new city, state, or country, applying for something like a loan, or starting a new business..etc whatever it is, it is time. I'm getting the image of Lion King when the monkey goes to Mufasa and tells him it is time and he holds up Simba for all to see on Pride Rock. It is time for you to show the world your gifts, talent, your presence. Whatever this is your guides want you to have faith and step out not fearing that bad things will happen. I'm getting the question "What would you do if you weren't afraid?" Whatever is the first thing that comes to mind is that thing you are meant to do. Stop limiting your options to what is in front of you. The world is your oyster and you are meant to experience life through the eyes of fulfillment and abundance.

Extra Messages: Oracle: Prosperity, Clarity, Protection, and Compassion You are protected to take the leap in what you want to do with your life. Trust spirit that they won't let you fall and have compassion and faith in yourself that you will succeed.

Pile lll:

Tarot: The Hanged Man, 6 of Pentacles, Strength, 7 of Wands, Page of Wands (reversed), 6 of Swords (reversed), Queen of Wands (reversed)

Some of you may have been drawn to Pile ll. Pile ll was all about following the call of their heart and soul. You pile, pile lll is all about persisting and not giving up on the call. 6 of Pentacles is all about victory some of you are letting your doubts seep into your mind causing you to spiral out of control a bit because while you know things will happen you aren't seeing any proof or movement in your life or plans so it's causing you to even doubt your creativity, gifts, talents, and even yourself a bit. Stay strong and hang in there. Right now you are just in the limbo of your desires but they're on the way, just have faith. Cancel the noise that keeps trying to pull you under. Ignore those who keep questioning your every move because they secretly want you to fail and you are not going to let them because you are strong. The hard part was starting what you have done, now hang in there and keep going down this road. There are no rainbows without a little rain and stormy weather. You've got this boo. Don't walk away from what you are currently doing everything will pay off. In the meantime do some affirmations, work on other projects to help keep your mind busy, hang out with friends, and plan for this victory to happen because it's coming you just need to have patience, keep the faith, and don't give up.

Extra Messages: Oracle Messages: None. Just keep the faith, persist, tell people who keep questioning what you are doing to mind their business, and be happy for yourself and bring more happiness to your life.

Pile lV:

Tarot: 7 of Cups, Ace of Pentacles, 3 of Cups, 9 of Wands, 2 of Pentacles, 6 of Swords (reversed)

This pile has two messages but the main message is there are quite a few of you who are daydreaming a lot about financial abundance, celebrating wins, new friendships, etc but you aren't willing to put in the work to achieve these things because you either have been hurt in the past and not wanting to deal with people or it's easier t daydream than to actually go after what you are wanting. Then there are the select few of you who need to balance your work life. You are all work and no play and you are facing burnout. For some of you, your burnout is causing you to rethink everything that you want and have done so far in your life when in reality you just need a break. Go to the spa if you can afford it, or do a DIY spa treatment at home where you run yourself a bath, buy chocolate-covered strawberries, or watch your favorite shows, and maybe even take yourself out on the town. Either way, you need to show yourself some grace and slow down. You will get to the financial abundance and celebration in due time but you won't be able to enjoy it as much because you are constantly wearing yourself down. Nothing bad will happen if you decide to take a day off. Now for those who ar daydreaming about success without doing anything, you may just like pile ll, be called to view pile l. Pile l is all about answering the call of their heart but you...I don't feel you have anything specific per se you want to go after that will bring you financial abundance. All you know is you want it and you're not acting on coming up with ways of trying to achieve it because you believe it's hard. You're belief system and lack of direction are holding you back pile lV for those who resonate with daydreaming.

Extra Messages: Oracle Messages: None The world will not explode if you decide to take a day off. Don't run yourself into the ground. For others, find your passion, try something for fun and see where it leads, or even try the thing you have had on your mind for some time and see where it leads. Roald Dahl — 'You'll never get anywhere if you go about what-iffing like that.'

Thank you for liking and reblogging my readings. I always appreciate you guys on here and on Patreon.

Stay safe and be blessed

#spirituality #witchblr #tarot reading #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #pick a card #tarot cards #pac tarot #pick a pile #pac reading #pick an image #pick a photo #pick a picture

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lizaluvsthis · 3 days

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SMG4: The PuzzleVision Movie

[SPOILER ALERT and more into the ship]

VERY.

MAJOR.

SPOILER.

PLEASE.

Its funny enough how i predicted spongebob squarepants in my theory

(It even also has the ship I had a true pairing with. Squidbob.)

When old fandom meets the new fandom I'm currently in be like-

I see how they got each other's backs...

Suprised that SMG4 has done this- because last time we remembered, Smg3 is the one who comes risking his own life to save his buddy.

Now it's giving the DEJA VU moment but this time SMG3 is the one who gets saved by smg4.

"You saved me!"

Notice how different they act around their partner when they get saved?

Smg3 during wotfi 2023 AND in his recolor design during the 10 year anniversary.

He himself has pushed those things away or pushing out the soft stuff saying— "yeah yeah" or "I'd like to see you die otherwise"

BUT HIM? He still couldn't accept himself with the softness he's gained alot. He still calls his FRIEND. Baka.

(Hah idiot.)

One thing to say that it WAS AWKWARD SMG4 just looks at our guy. My man... my homie... buddy chum pal old fella amigo-

You. Are not. Okay. My man. (GAY PANIC SAYS OTHERWISE)

I know its not relevant but I drew this back in march 25 believe it or not I may have predicted this as well

Me and my brain goofing around telling me what if the gays did do that.

Anyways- back when Three lets Four carry him, as much as they both hate each other they atleast had to do it somehow inorder to escape.

Yet four could ever care less and he was still grabbing his waist at that time, and Three not giving a sh-t just looking up at the sky noticing how pretty it is.

Three... DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHOSE GRABBING YOUR WAIST RIGHT NOW??????????

Two siblings getting both of their fingers broken.

And its even in the right hand! Since Mario is immune to broken bones, Meggy however gets to be on the same place Mario has been in IGBP. NOW she gets to feel the pain what Mario may had felt.

And thus at the near end where SMG4 hits PV with a meat hammer or aka luigi- HE LITERALLY KICKED THE HEAD OUT- AND THE ANIMATION THAT MADE IT SO SERIOUS.

I think I understand his anger so much from this clip that everyone would agree.

Ever since PuzzleVision gave back everyones conciousness- he showed the Western Spaghetti and IGBP act of the crew on how emotional things became.

"And SMG4... who knew you could play an antagonist so well! High ranks for me!"

He felt so guilty. He looked down. He knew what PV was talking about.

By an antagonist' actions.

Just like how he was possessed by the goop itself, he started going crazy during that time and he let his anger get on to him.

SMG4 DID NOT WANT TO BE THE BAD GUY.

He was so scared and felt pity to himself because of that. And it was all ruined because of PV himself.

Smg4 didn't want to remember what happened during that encounter and never will.

Besides on the deal with PuzzleVision. SMG4 and Meggy's traumatic experiences weren't talked enough from their problems during the movie.

So much things are happening from the show that no one is talking much about it while watching.

"Is... is it over?"

Smg4 proceedingly cried emotionally because of the torture. He was apparently too blind enough to notice now that he realized it was him to blame. He was so dumb enough and so angry that he could cry.

Three didn't even slapped him or shut him off, he lets him cry over there due to the fact that he may need to release his emotions.

Because he knows how sentimental Smg4 became when it involves with dealing his own emotions that HE couldn't even give an advice for. But could only stay quiet.

Because at what hell of a state would he even say to SMG4 when they're trying to escape from this hell of a nightmare?

Four still doesn't accept himself, and neither does Smg3 too. From everything that happened.

Our boys are suffering enough and its hurting us like hell.

#smg4 #smg34 #smg3 #smg4 smg3 #tv adware #lizafixates #smg4 x smg3 #smg3 x smg4 #mr puzzles #smg4 puzzlevision #puzzle vision

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rifualk · 2 days

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On Mental Health and Cosmic Embarrassment

I don't usually make a post in the aftermath of one of my spirals, so I bet most people see some of the vent posts I make, and assume I am just off my meds or something. I am on them but I might not be on the right ones. This is a thing that happens to me sometimes. I have psychotic episodes, where it feels like the things I am saying are completely inconsequential and I genuinely believe no one cares what I'm saying or, worst of all, that it cannot scare anyone that cares about me. I get too tired to fight my intrusive thoughts and I just ride them out. Most of my thoughts are not ones I enjoy having. I have trouble parsing what is real sometimes. For most of my life, out of a kind of primal shame and terror of being perceived or judged, I beat myself into believing that I just roleplayed as a crazy person online because I wanted attention for it, but it finally clicked for me at some point in my 20s that I was, and am, genuinely very mentally ill, maybe in ways that make me not-entirely-functional in the culture I inhabit. Also, I want attention for it.

Life is very embarrassing. I think embarrassment, shame, et al. is probably the most cosmic feeling of them all, because being embarrassed, for me anyway, leads invariably to my OCD extrapolating the embarrassment, no matter how slight, into its natural extreme, becoming a full-blown existential meltdown and often manifesting in some self-punishment. Or a lot of self-punishment. Instead of saying "everyone wants attention, it's not a big deal", my brain will overwhelm me with shame and make me vow to be quieter about the whole thing next time. Good emotions are meant to be expressed, I tell myself, and Bad ones are not. I think it's very unhealthy for people to not express their negative emotions openly. Or maybe I'm psychotic. I mean, I am psychotic. But maybe right now, too.

Ultimately this feeling peaks with the realization - again - that I'm a eukaryote. I live on a spinning ball of stardust in the aftermath of what had to have been a colossal disaster and waste of time. But it happened, and so now there's a bunch of stuff floating around, and some of that stuff started moving for reasons I don't personally understand and the implications of which scare me. And the moving stuff that moved faster got to stay moving longer. And so a chain reaction escalated, and eventually there were very large moving things whose survival adaptations had evolved in such a way that they could conceptualize and communicate complex information about the world around them, but they were also able to conceptualize themselves. This gave them a lot of grief. They wanted very badly for there to be an answer to why they were able to do that. Surely it served some purpose. But we never found one, and here we are.

I don't have a god to turn to. I have tried - earnestly, sincerely, and desperately - to reach out; I never hear back. I don't want to be an atheist, it's heartbreaking. Honestly. I want someone to be up there, or out there. Knowing there isn't, is just... cruel. It's horrifying and it wrenches my heart. Look at us, look how much we're suffering, where the fuck did you go, what the fuck is your problem? Help us!

In spite of everything, I am still not sure what I believe.

Don't you ever just cry about the world? Like, broadly? Don't you ever just have to take off your glasses and wipe the brine from them because you caught a glimpse of what people, as a species, could be capable of? And I get angry at myself, too. What am I doing about it? What even can I do? I can barely hold down a job. I am barely an adult. I am often mired in this feeling. It permeates everything. I'm living in a tragedy - not just my own, but millions and millions of others'. This is a nightmare. It's a nightmare and I'm an embarrassment, and my brain doesn't work right, and I'm living in a terrible reality that is shared by everyone, and yet somehow equally isolating and alienating to all of us. Does it have to be that way? Aren't we all lonely?

When I am spiraling I really do think that the end is near, either for me, or for everyone, or for both. To be fair, my confidence about humanity's future is not promising even when I am at my most sane. But in this kind of emotional place, the stakes are too high for me to care that what I say might come off as upsetting. It is completely overwhelming. I see my life up to this point, and I see how long I've been alive and realize I'm very Not Normal and I look and sound different than everyone around me and I'm an embarrassment. It's embarrassing to exist. It's embarrassing to be transgender, too. It's really, really embarrassing to be mentally ill and fully aware of it all the time. It's shameful. I am ashamed of how my family likely sees me. How my peers see me. I'm just a walking disaster. I feel like this bars me from leading a happy life or finding some success in art - It doesn't seem like you're allowed to be quite this much of a problem and "get away with it", does it? There's a bit of social sanitizing at work there - you are only allowed to be a certain level of messed up and if you pass that you're sort of a pariah. I don't think I've ever done anything pariah-worthy, but I can only see things from the inside of my own head, and there's a lot of unwanted noise in here.

I painted this when I lived in Oregon. I don't know how. I could not do art like this again if asked.

I'm not in a good place, generally-speaking. It could be worse - and it was for a long time- but it's still just not great. There are two reasons for this. One is that I'm very homesick. The other is that I found - and subsequently lost - my twin. But I only want to talk about the first reason right now - I grew attached to the Pacific Northwest in a way I've never really grown attached to any other place. It had a quality that exists nowhere else. It resonated with me immediately and I knew right away from the moment I first set foot there that it was my home. I grew to be a part of it, and it's the only place I felt I somewhat-belonged... I have been away from Oregon for 2 whole years as of next month. I feel like I'm a fish out of water, or a sapling in the wrong soil. I can't and won't say that the place I live currently is a bad place, but it isn't my place, and the disconnect has been maybe the nastiest shock to my system in all my life. Finding the place I loved, and living for over 12 years there, only to be wrenched away from it so suddenly, left a shock on me that I think has yet to surface in my work. I'm excited to see what form it takes when it does. Location is very important to my mental wellbeing, more than I think it is for most people. Maybe I am a plant. It's also very important for my art. I've struggled to find inspiration since I moved here. That said, I've had the very precious opportunity to just work on myself - on my transition, as well as my personal issues. I think I'm getting better, gradually, in some way. I have a job now, at least. So it's not entirely bad. I even grew sunflowers last summer.

Around this time I got banned from twitter, but I don't feel any shame about the reason why because I believe in my message. But it forced me to be a lot less active online for a long time. It also made me lose a lot of support. That's been something I've grappled with a lot these last 2 years - that people really don't like people like me, for reasons that are mostly not our fault. I will likely always be something of an outsider for being who I am now, but I was one before anyway. It's still worth it. I like the person I'm becoming. I feel like only recently did I allow myself to feel this self-love. I was too embarrassed of myself. It took a lot of patience and a lot of de-tangling my self-worth from a lot of trauma. So it's likely I would have needed to go through all of this regardless of where I was.

I still slip up. It's an uphill climb and it's slippery. I like to be transparent about these things. It's a relief - feeling like I need to hide things is my default state and it's lovely to just let go of stuff so I don't need to keep it in my head all the time. I have a lot of hangups still. I get discouraged about my art still - I fear I'll never build myself back up to where I was before, and that there will never be a time when I can really pay the bills with it. Or worse-still, that it just isn't special enough to last. That it isn't remarkable enough to survive after I'm gone. But I think a lot of people who make stuff feel that way, and it's not our fault. There's some relief in that. I'm happy to have even a few people that care about me and my work, and something I've been trying really hard to remember in recent years is to take time to appreciate them. I'm not actually alone. I have a lot of people that love me. I'm not an outsider. I'm very lucky to know the people I do, and I hold a deep regret for all the connections I've let go of because I was just too sick. Deep down I really do wish I could love everyone. I have no ill will towards anyone, not really.

I still don't know what I'm doing. I am just doing my best, I think. I'm really, really tired. I don't want to get any older. I'm scared of the passage of time. My memory is so bad, it feels like time is taken from me without me realizing. I am 33 years old. I do not have 33 years worth of memories. There are huge leaps. Gaps where suddenly I was just older and in more pain. Being adrift in time like this is horrific - one day I will blink, and the present moment may be completely forgotten. It can't go this fast. It just can't. Something has to be wrong. I don't want to die, I don't want to miss out on so much life or be unable to remember it. I don't want to find myself on my deathbed someday way sooner than I think and be unable to string together any kind of coherent thread from my memories. What is it all for? It has to mean something right? Why am I doing anything?

I think I finally understand that love is why. I don't know much more than that. Love is real, and it's the answer. If you find love, don't take it for granted, ever. No love is perfect. Take it with all its flaws. You don't have time to bargain with it. Love like you'll never love again, love like it's your last day alive, love like it will keep you alive forever, because it will. Every year closer to death you get, you will feel the regret of all the times you did not follow your heart. Life is short. I'm finding this out entirely too late. It goes by so fast, and what you have at the end are people and memories of being loved. To be loved is to live forever. It's the thing that connects us to everything else. It's the source and the answer to everything. It makes more sense the older I get. It used to sound cheesy, but I believe it with more sincerity every day.

youtube

I kept my last promise to you - there are no new scars on my arms, or bruises on my head or face.

#mental health posting #is there a better tag for that

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gravedigginbbydoll · 2 days

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Hawkins University : The Munson Edition

AN: Hey, y'all. So we're almost done! This is the last chapter before an epilogue! I'll be sad to see this one go but I'm glad that it happened. Pls remember that reblogs and comments are appreciated! Also feedback!

→ cliches: friends to lovers, heavy use of nicknames instead of Y/N, we're all just struggling college kids, Music Tutor! Eddie, Resident Assistant! Reader, good girl x bad boy, instant connections, 'I don't trust most people but I trust you', 'are we friends or more?', and 'I can't believe you're such a slut that you have a special dtf drawer...'

→ warnings: mature topics, insecurity, hurt and comfort, drinking and drug usage, strong language, bullying, mental health, discussion of suicide and self harm, mature thoughts, eventual smut, minors dni

→ pairing: modern!college!eddie x college!fem!reader

Chapter 10

Eddie's POV

Eddie was on cloud nine. He had the girl of his dreams, was finally happy in his major and passing his classes, and Corroded Coffin was steadily on the rise.

Steve wouldn’t let him live it down, teasing him about the lovesick grin he had and how he ‘felt’ in his gut that you and Eddie would get together.

Eddie felt a bit saddened by the fact that you had gotten together before finals, so you weren’t able to sleep over as much or go on a date yet. Eddie couldn’t wait to take you out and treat you. You were his girl now.

But he also couldn’t shake this feeling. You were texting him still, sure, but you had seemed to be avoiding him even after finals, claiming that your job had you absolutely booked.

Eddie couldn’t help but feel like maybe you were avoiding him now after sleeping together. Maybe you regretted being with him. Maybe you faked it? He couldn’t stop anxiously questioning if you still wanted to be with him.

Eddie would not admit it aloud, but he was slowly falling for you.

He knew how you drank your coffee, or how you loved playing with his hair. He knew how nervous you got in new spaces, and how you laughed. He wanted to learn more. He wanted to carve memories of you into his brain, wanted to have the imprint of your figure in his mattress, have your touch burned into his skin.

He kept pushing off the idea of falling for you. He knew he was on the edge of the cliff, teetering on letting go. But goddamnit, if he wasn’t afraid. Eddie knew himself. When he fell, it was hard and fast.

It was fully consuming.

He was scared to let go and have you disappear, just like so many people in his life. Or worse, have you become disgusted with the intricacies of him. You knew so much, but Eddie still guarded parts of his heart.

Which was why he was staring at his phone, awaiting your text back, when he asked if you could head out to dinner after your shift.

Your reply stung.

Sorry, not this time Eds, I’ve got to help my coworker with her on-call.

Eddie, in a flurry of hurt and bitterness, almost texted back ‘Then when?’. He stopped himself before.

He’d somehow fucked it up.

He knew it.

“Am I an idiot, Kurt?,” Eddie questioned the stray cat currently chowing down on his porch. Eddie had started feeding the cat when he noticed him digging through the apartment trash, feeling a tug at his heart. He’d always loved animals, knowing they wouldn’t judge him, even if he was a burnout. Kurt meowed at Eddie, chubby tomcat cheeks making Eddie chuckle a bit. Eddie took a drag from his cigarette, careful to aim it away from Kurt, who resumed chowing down. He only looked up when he heard a commotion from the parking lot, seeing Robin and Steve scramble over to the porch, both of them calling Eddie’s name.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Okay, okay…What’s the big deal, Beavis and Butthead?,” Eddie teased, still trying to calm his nerves. Steve and Robin as a pair usually were a bit over dramatic about things (even for Eddie, who often dramatized most things.)

Robin stopped, her hands on her knees as she tried to regulate her breathing, wheezing. Steve was a bit better off, sighing before going into what was going on.

“Some account tried to follow Rob and I and we were like no, but we were curious because the account follows Corroded Coffin. And Robin and I were talking about how Bug has kinda been AWOL, and avoiding us. And so we were wondering if maybe there was something she wasn’t telling us about, so we went to look at the account, and it’s some troll posting super mean shit about Bug and calling her names just because she’s dating you, and-”

Eddie saw red at the mention. If there was one thing the Munson boy had little to no patience for, it was bullies. He felt his stomach twist at the thought of you dealing with the hate all alone, trying to push people away so as to keep from bothering them. His jaw clenched, his fists flexing and clenching, trying to soothe the anger he felt.

“What’s the account?,” Eddie asked calmly, controlling his tone and temper, jaw set.

Steve blinked a bit, shocked by Eddie’s tone but also seeming a bit fearful. “Uh, it’s something like the exterminator? Here,” Steve handed over his phone, showing the Instagram account.

Eddie scrolled through the account, the posts getting more aggressive as the account owner seemed to take candids of you, and post them. The words were cutting, and just…

Eddie felt his hands shake as he handed back the phone, anger running through him, a slow simmering boil. He walked inside, Steve and Robin following in confusion before Robin finally broke the tense silence.

“Eddie, what’re you-”

Eddie spun around, eyes rimmed red, hands shaking as he clenched his fists. “I’m fixing it.”

Eddie pulled out his phone, calling the one person he knew could get down to the bottom of this.

“Henderson…I need you to ask Susie for a favor.”

Eddie was lucky that Steve had introduced him to Dustin Henderson. Dustin looked up to Eddie, and his little group of friends had somehow stuck to Eddie like old gum on his shoe. But maybe a bit more endearing.

Dustin’s girlfriend, Susie, was a tech nerd and genius, and somehow knew how to trace or hack most things.

Which was exactly what she did.

She traced the Instagram account down to an email, discovering what the email was a backup for, and informed Eddie.

Tammy Dreser. A member of the Hawkins Cheer team, and a close friend to Chrissy Cunningham. Both of them were part of the same sorority.

Which led Eddie here. In front of the sorority house on his bike, his face both angry and determined. He swung his leg off his bike, heading up to the door to knock loudly, met with Chrissy Cunningham’s surprised expression.

“Eddie, what are you-”

Eddie pushed past her into the house carefully, turning to her.

“We need to talk.”

Chrissy blinked a bit before closing the door, sighing. “Okay…What about?,” She questioned, crossing her arms, eyebrows furrowed.

“This,” Eddie said pointedly, shoving a phone in Chrissy’s face, the device already showing the account, Chrissy squinting to see the account and frowning.

“What? Eddie, I don’t know what this is.”

“Tammy made it. I have…sources… who connected it to her email. And I don’t take kindly to people mistreating my girl,” Eddie stated, his tone teetering on a growl.

Chrissy frowned, eyebrows furrowed. She bit her lip and gestured for Eddie to follow her to the kitchen, sitting down at the table.

“Let me call Tammy. We can talk this out,” Chrissy sighed, dialing away on her phone.

Eddie sat there, leg shaking in the hyper feminized kitchen, a frown practically etched on his face as Taffy entered, her blue eyes widening and cheeks turning red as she saw Eddie. She was quick to fix her hair and smile, putting out a perfectly manicured hand for him to shake.

“Eddie, right? I’m Tammy,” She said, tone bubbly as ever.

Eddie nodded, not returning the handshake. He was trying to keep his cool, and not explode on this petite brunette.

Chrissy cleared her throat. “Well, Tammy, it seems there has been an acc-”

Eddie can’t take tiptoeing around the subject, so he interjects. “I found an account cyberbullying my girlfriend. Connected to your email. Care to explain?,” Eddie grinned sarcastically, lifting his brows.

Tammy turned white as a ghost and started laughing, shaking her head. “I don’t…What? I don’t know-”

Eddie laughed humorlessly and shook his head. “Don’t bullshit me. Fess up, Tammy,” He said her name like an insult, making her cheeks flush red. He stared at her, her eyes wide and her shoulders caving in under his gaze. Eddie counted almost 5 minutes before she finally gave in.

“Fine! I made it. I was angry that Chrissy hooked up with you when I had a crush on you, and I wanted to make it look like she made the account,” She confessed, flustered and upset.

Chrissy’s brow furrowed and she appeared hurt, mumbling to herself.

"You're the one who hacked my Instagram...I kept wondering why I couldn't log in and why my account seemed to be following more people."

Eddie's heart panged a little bit for the blonde, who despite her best intentions, had horrible friends and a tendency to be naive or absent minded. But he'd worry about it later. Eddie was too focused on Tammy. “Take. Down. The. Damn. Account,” He gritted out, every word making Tammy sink further into her chair as she nodded, appearing annoyed and embarrassed.

“Fine, Fine! I will!”

Eddie stood up and nodded at the two, heading to the door as he heard hushed arguing and felt waves of hurt come from the room.

“You deserve better friends, Cunningham,” Eddie called out as he left, too focused on his mission.

He had to get to you.

Eddie came into the building, making a beeline for your dorm. He knocked on your door frantically, hearing you scramble and run to the door, opening it a bit, just enough for you to poke your head out, your eyes rimmed red. Your brows furrowed as you looked up, a bit confused.

“Eds? What’re you doing-”

Eddie pushed himself inside the room, gentle but firm. You felt anxiety swirl in your belly at the disarrayed state of your room, the way you hadn’t had a good shower, stewing in your depression. Eddie’s stomach dropped as his heart ached.

You had been going through this alone?

Eddie frowned, his voice soft. “Baby…why didn’t you tell me?”

You felt your lip begin to tremble as your eyes stung, the sensation alerting you of the oncoming tears. You swallowed, trying to calm your shaking.

“I just…I didn’t want to bother you during finals, and honestly it wasn’t a big deal, I just-”

You felt your voice tremble, your vision beginning to blur. You shook a bit, feeling Eddie embrace you. You smelled his green apple shampoo and body wash, his warm vanilla and spice cologne…all below a soft lingering scent of cigarettes. You melted into his arms, sighing, tears still flowing.

Eddie sat you down on your bed, his heart squeezed at the sight of you so broken, and so lost. He kicked himself for not being able to see through your walls through text, and held you close. You sobbed into his shirt, shaking. Eddie rubbed your back, pressing his lips to your forehead, murmuring reassurances of ‘it’s okay’ and ‘i’ve got you’.

When your tears had stopped flowing, Eddie continued to hold you, rubbing your back softly. He felt the urge to talk to you, so he let himself speak without thinking.

“When I was in high school…I was extremely bullied. I was called a freak, viewed as an outcast. My mom had died and my dad was in prison. People knew Uncle Wayne and I lived in a trailer, and they didn’t let me live it down. When I came here, I thought I finally escaped it…Except… I didn’t. Jason was here. He was one of the people who bullied me extensively back home. He made my life a living hell. He posted shit about me, made flyers claiming I was a psychopath… it was…hell.”

Eddie swallowed, avoiding your gaze, trying to continue despite the sour memories.

“I was in a really dark place. I started doing harder drugs, drinking, and just…self harming any way I could. I was flunking, and lonely, as I was 20 years old and a freshman. I…I didn’t tell Steve about it. But he kind of…knew. And right as I was starting to get even worse, right as I considered ending it…Steve reached out. He supported me. He stood up for me while Jason was being a dick. And…a big part of me knows, if he never reached out…I wouldn’t be here.”

Eddie's throat felt thick, his hands shaking as he looked down at you, your red rimmed eyes looking at him in sorrow and worry. He grabbed your face, leaning his head down to press his forehead against yours.

“I don’t ever want you to feel that way, baby. Okay? I lo-, Eddie cuts himself off, swallowing, the word getting stuck in his throat.

“I care about you.”

You look up, sighing shakily and nodding, melting into his arms.

“I care about you too. I’m sorry.”

Eddie kissed you, trying to pour all of his feelings into the exchange, holding your face like you were fragile glass. He pulled away slowly, tugging you into his arms and just holding you that night, letting you melt into him.

He’d tell you soon.

But for that night...he just would be there for you.

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