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#i'm just fucking sick of it like please start making an EFFORT to include people
bixbythemartian · 10 months
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This is About Oceangate
...kind of. Like, heads up for people who are sick of hearing about it or are too disturbed by this, just scoot on by, that's fine.
Like everybody else my age who had a middle school special interest in the Titanic that was further fueled by the James Cameron movie (and that sounds very specific, but I absolutely know I'm not alone), I've been following this story fuckin voraciously.
I think everybody I know IRL and online is fucking sick of me talking about it. I have been actively trying not to blog much about it here because I'm so obsessed with it that I'm annoyed with myself. I would like to not be this interested in it.
But a lot of the stuff I can think of to say has been said by a lot of people already, I don't want to add to an already noisy environment if I've got nothing new to say.
So, instead, I want to talk about what I haven't seen very many people talking about- something that's stood out to me about the way the media has been handling this story from the get-go. So, finally, I'm inflicting my days long media binge on you.
The media's handling of this was bad. Like, comprehensively fucked.
For the uninformed, a primer on the situation- feel free to skip down if you know all this, there's a bulleted list right after I get done with this part, look for that. But some of this is important to the terms I use, so I wanted to lay it out. (Also I just want to get a lot of this out of my system, please just let me have this.)
The Titan is a 'cyclops-class' submersible. As far as I can tell, 'cyclops-class' is unique to the people who made this submersible, it's not a widely recognized thing.
The Titan can carry up to five passengers. It was supposed to be rated to reach depths of up to 4000 meters below sea level.
The Titan is/was owned and operated by a company known as Oceangate. There's a lot of questions regarding the safety of the submersible, where the math came from on their depth rating, and- basically everything about the Titan is in question, at this point. There's a lot of questions, but that's not what I want to talk about.
Right now. Maybe later.
A submersible is distinct from a submarine in that it requires a surface support ship for many things- the Titan moved too slow to leave port under its own power and go to the site, it didn't have enough life support to do that kind of thing, etc. A submarine is self-supporting and can operate independently. Kind of pedantic, I know, but the Titan is a submersible, not a submarine.
The Titan had a planned expedition to the wreck of the Titanic on June 18, 2023- this past Sunday, at the time of writing. The expedition was supposed to last around 10 hours. It chartered a ship- the Polar Prince- to act as mother ship, the on the surface support that the Titan requires. (The Polar Prince is owned and operated by a different company than the Titan.)
1 hour and 45 minutes into the expedition, as the Titan was still making its way to the sea floor, the Polar Prince lost all contact with the submersible.
The Titanic wreck is at just under 4000 meters deep, right around 2.5 miles.
Now, my understanding is that the Titan was not fully at the ocean floor at the point contact was lost, but it's not clear how deep the Titan was at that time. We may not ever know this for certain.
When the Titan was reported as missing to the coast guard is kind of unclear, to me- I heard 6 hours after they lost contact, I heard 12 hours after they lost contact, I saw something that indicated they reported it missing immediately- I don't know for sure. When the coast guard report comes out, I'm hoping we'll get a more accurate timeline.
However, as soon as it was reported missing, a massive search and rescue operationg was started. Complicating the search efforts were the fact that the submersible seemed to have no type of emergency distress locator beacon (I'm not sure what the precise nautical terminology would be for this).
The search included visual searching of the surface, dropping buoys with microphones, and ROVs (unmanned remote operated vehicles, deep sea robots operated by crew on ships at the surface) searching the floor, and probably some other stuff I'm forgetting. Deep sea radar etc etc, every tool they had access to.
The search and rescue concluded on Thursday (June 22, 2023) around midday, when they definitively found pieces of the destroyed submersible's pressure vessel (the part of the submersible that held pressure and kept the people safe and alive) in a debris field, approximately 1600 feet away from the Titanic.
The destroyed pressure vessel and reports from the Navy on hearing sounds consistent with implosion at the time the Titan lost contact indicates that the submersible underwent what is being called a 'catastrophic implosion'.
It is now an investigation and recovery operation, while they try to figure out what exactly went wrong.
The five men in the sub are dead. In all likelihood, they died so quickly that their nervous system didn't have time to process what happened. What happened to their bodies during this was probably gory and kind of horrifying, but it's unlikely they experienced any awareness of this.
There were five extremely wealthy men on the submersible- they were not all billionaires, but those that weren't were worth hundreds of millions of dollars. If you want a rough sketch of their biographies, there's a link here. Other than them being pretty wealthy, who they are doesn't play that much into what I want to talk about, so I don't feel the need to go into it right now. (Again, as more information comes out, I may come back for another swing.)
So, my complaint. The number of times I saw a news interview with an expert that went like this is not small:
news host interviews deep ocean expert of some variety (who is not involved in rescue)
host asks expert what chances are that the dudes are alive and will be recovered alive
expert, being honest, says something like 'slim to none'
host responds with some amount of sincere-seeming disappointment, then after interview, pivots to the ongoing search for the definitely still alive people
There were news programs with clocks counting down how much theoretical oxygen was left. There were frequent updates to news stories with nothingburgers of additions, just to pad it out. It was, if they were alive at that moment, fucking ghoulish. That they were dead makes it even more horrible.
And I cannot emphasize enough how many experts said, to generalize and paraphrase here: "Unless they are found bobbing on the surface in the next n hours, they are dead. Even if they are alive right this minute, on the bottom of the ocean, there is no hope to rescue them in time."
This is not a failure of any of the rescue entities involved, by the way. The environment they were presumed to be in- 4000 meters under sea level- is so extreme that there are very few vehicles in the world with the capability of even getting to that depth. Like, 10 or less. As far as I know, none of them are designed to do any kind of deep sea rescue- which would have involved carefully scooping up or netting the Titan and hauling it up very slowly. There's no way to transfer personnel between ships at this depth, and the Titan had the largest passenger allowance at this depth, afaik. Like, the odds were incredibly, vanishingly small that these men would live.
The media, at large, never ever really allowed that to change the way they talked about this story or treated the participants in the story. At around 11 am or noon (central daylight time) on Thursday I saw them talking about how 'oxygen is critical'.
Oxygen was critical 24 hours prior. Even by the most generous of expectations, they were out of breathable air. Given how, to put it mildly, janky the submersible seemed to have been, there was absolutely no guarantee that they had even the 96 hours that Oceangate claimed.
Their likelihood of being rescued alive from the ocean floor was minimal on Monday. By Thursday, they were dead- again, unless they were found on the surface somewhere and had managed to carefully preserve their air somehow, they were already dead.
The media didn't really allow for the reality of the situation to be clear until Oceangate and the USCG came out and said 'yeah, they're dead'.
"Well, what's the problem with that?" you might ask. "The United States Coast Guard was the one who was saying it was a rescue up until that point."
Sure. That's their job. Their job is to treat it like an urgent rescue until it is certain that it is not. A significant amount of what they do is to rescue people from doing damnfool things in the water, and keeping hope alive until they find bodies, or evidence thereof. They were doing exactly what they should be doing.
(Whether they do this to this extent for everybody lost at sea is another conversation that's absolutely worth having, as well as their role in border patrol, but I have no bone to pick with the USCG in this particular instance. They did their all until they could do no more, that's the whole point of them, this is how they're supposed to operate.)
The media was not doing what they should be doing. There's an old quote somewhere that I think is just a journalism truism (everyone I've heard talk about it says their journalism professor said it)- if someone tells you it's raining, and someone else tells you it's not, your job isn't to report that, your job is to go outside and see if it's wet.
James Cameron- director of the aforementioned Titanic movie, as well as being a Titanic and deep sea submersible expert, knew they were dead on Monday.
He reached out to some people, he found out that the mother ship lost contact with the crew as well as their location at the same instant, and that the Navy heard a sound consistent with an implosion at around that time.
The information that the Navy heard the implosion was not classified information- they heard it via a listening system that was declassified in the 90s, I believe. Like, I knew about the system just kind of casually because I know random Navy stuff. (My dad was in the Navy, it's mostly osmosis.)
The people on the scene were informed as soon as the Navy knew. (When that was, I'm not sure, except it was before Monday. Probably they had someone go back and listen to it and weren't actively monitoring it, but it's hard to say.)
The deep ocean submersible community knew, well enough that James Cameron could call a buddy and find out. He was telling people on Monday to raise a glass to them.
The media could have had this information, if they did not have it. Either they didn't want to know, or did know, and didn't say it. And I can't say for certain they were suppressing information, but I do know that they frequently downplayed any evidence that these people were dead.
I know on CNN they ran a story about FADOSS- the FlyAway Deep Ocean Salvage System- that was shipped out to Newfoundland. It arrived Wednesday afternoon. Description in the alt text, link here.
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At the time this story was published, the people in the sub would have theoretically had less than 24 hours of breathable air. They hadn't even chartered a ship for the FADOSS, at this point. And the port in Newfoundland is hundreds of miles from the site. I'm not sure how many hours away but, like, hours away. I think I heard it's a 6 hour trip, but I'm not certain on that.
This system was referenced in the news as if it was going to be part of the rescue process. Very clearly, this was never going to happen. The quote, 'a process which can take a full day' is a mild understatement, here.
It could, theoretically, be done in 24 hours, but was much more likely to take longer, unless they had enough crew in Newfoundland to do round-the-clock welding.
The response to the question about recovering someone alive is a polite way of saying 'that's not what we do'. They were not part of the rescue operation and were never intended to be, as far as I can tell.
(If you're wondering what part the FADOSS is going to take in the recovery and investigation process, it's not. It's used to lift heavy objects off the floor, and the Titan broke into small enough pieces that the ROVs are believed capable of handling it. FADOSS is on its way back to wherever it is kept. I suspect it was brought out in the edge case that the submersible was found intact with dead crew, to retrieve the vessel whole, so that the families would have bodies to bury.)
Setting aside the 'oh they definitely blew up' news that seems to have been available the whole time, every single piece of evidence and expertise pointed to these people being dead, and yet the news persisted in sort of breathlessly (sorry) talking about the rescue efforts and how much time was left. They persisted in talking about how definitely still alive these people were until they could not do that anymore.
Other examples of this issue are the knocking thing. There were reports of some of the buoys picking up something that could be described as 'knocking'. Some said it was 'every thirty minutes' but we don't know how precise a measurement that was. As soon as they started talking about the knocking, I looked into it.
As it turns out, this is just a thing that happens. The sea is very noisy, and it's hard to determine the source of a sound. Some geological things sound manmade, vice versa. They had a lot of ships cooperating together to work the search area, it's possible that they were hearing noise from those, or something from an oil platform a jillion miles away, because noise travels far and is hard to pinpoint. They had this issue while searching for the sunken USS Thresher and it was one of the ships doing the searching. Given how many different moving parts there were in this search operation, it's hard to say what the knocking was. This is just a thing in the ocean, there's a lot of fuckin noise and experts can't always pinpoint it down in location or even what it might be.
This is why, even though they heard sounds that were consistent with implosion, at the time that the Titan lost total contact with the mother ship, it was still treated as if there was a live rescue operation. Because they couldn't be certain.
But the odds were extremely poor that these men were alive, and almost everybody involved knew that fairly early on. Again, the rescue operation had to go forward like they were looking for someone alive because that's how that works. The media, on the other hand, handled this in a very irresponsible way.
And, like, I know, news media is bad at being news is not some like hot new thing, I've just been building up frustration for days and so it had to come out somehow.
I'm not sure how much of this was just because they're very wealthy men- only one of whom I've ever heard of before- and how much of it was because it was a very bizarre and unique ongoing situation, how much of it was the intersection of that.
But pretty much everybody with enough knowledge to be worth talking to about this knew, like, Monday that even if they weren't dead right then, they were very unlikely to make it out alive, and watching the news wind a bunch of people up over the hopeful outcome was revolting.
Okay. We'll see if I can go 24 hours without talking about this. If you made it to the end of this absolute fucking novel, congratulations and/or I'm sorry.
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@rilmareatsglue making a new post because that other one is getting too goddamn long and i'm on my bullshit and ready to ramble. this will not be organized. also, i naturally have a course manner of speech, so i'm not trying to insult you but i am gonna stop making effort to phrase things politely
you can do something. you can buy local. everywhere you're purposefully pricing up to buy vegan, buy local instead. there's a reason every ag person wearing overalls in the country has been shouting buy local for the last 10 years. there are many benefits to this, not the least of which is completely sidestepping industrial ag (may it rest in hell).
buying local makes sense where veganism is utterly incoherent. there are many many many animal products where respectful use of them is actively good for the environment and ourselves. bees? everywhere bees are, the plants are doing better. beekeepers are one of the last obstacles preventing bee extinction and the bees will fly the fuck away if they dont like their beekeeper. buy local honey please for the love of god invest in this animal product that is actively improving the world. wool is one of the most environmentally sustainable fabrics ever. vegan leather is plastic and look. fossil fuels are worse than animals. mining is worse for the environment than a sheep. the leather made from cowhide WHEN AN ANIMAL IS TREATED WELL, FED APPROPRIATELY, AND COMPLETELY USED is better for the environment because every part of it biodegrades and it doesn't require fossil fuels to produce. buffalo leather is A M A Z I N G because we're actively fucking trying to bring the buffalo back to the plains to replace cattle and market incentives are helpful, it's disrespectful to only use part of the animal, it biodegrades and the wastewater impact is lower than mining for fossil fuels to make plastic fabric, and buffalo presence on the plains causes a positive cascade effect and reinvigorates the environment. we already need to figure out how to mass produce okra goop to filter microplastics out of the water i am so fucking sick of plastic fabric. buy wool. please just buy wool or leather it lasts longer anyway. plant fiber fabrics are preferable, but the environment needs animals and we need to prioritize our production based on what can be recycled into the environment. chickens have minimal environmental impact, are natural scavengers in times of famine, and continually provide eggs which are high in protein and nutrition. grand option for the majority of winter regions to promote food security.
tangent: god another thing about veganism that i hate is that in order to ever work in any reality, it relies on WAY WORSE SHIT like fucking fracking. FRACKING IS WORSE THAN A COW. PLEASE EVEN IF WE WERE ONLY USING THE LEATHER, THE COW IS BETTER. AT LEAST IT DECOMPOSES. i think vegans don't understand that your food system includes the waste products. you HAVE to keep in mind its production waste AND what it looks like when you're done with it. if it turns into literal poison in 30 years, it's the wrong choice. everything that is plastic based is the wrong choice ok. animals are better for the simple reason that they'll fuckin decompose and contribute to the continuation of life on this planet instead of literal poison. like it makes me fucking insane how much veganism relies on the assumption of capitalist imperialism to function, like none of the things we use in the US are manageable unless we're laying waste to cultures and environments halfway across the world for raw petrochemicals and land control. i hope to GOD that we lose access to a lot of international food products because it would mean that americans are no longer making decisions about what people halfway across the world are allowed to farm and then stealing it from them.
look into your environment, see what it needs, and start buying from the people who are going along with that. do not justify consumption of industrially produced vegan products with claims of environmental protection and DEFINITELY stop advocating for it as the be-all-end-all of ethical eating. local is ethical. local is ethical. your actual environment that you physically live in and walk through on the daily is what you should be using to make decisions about what food you buy and from who.
and plant some tomatoes or get some chickens or something. scatter a bunch of squash seeds in your local park and when they come in, hang a little sign saying they're free. look into food sovereignty, i think i have a post about it somewhere. read fresh banana leaves by jessica hernandez. google kincentric ecology.
you're not powerless, and the situation isn't hopeless. we just have to actually contend with its magnitude and drop the vegan bullshit. actually learn about your environment, how its specific nutrient cycle flows, and plan your food production to work within it and support it or look around for some farms who do and buy from them when you can. i think that the general public thinks of food production as inherently destructive when it just does not have to be and usually isn't. we started out as foragers because food grows naturally with no effort whatsoever, we live on dirt that fertilizes itself if you leave a corpse on top of it, the earth is meant to cycle nutrients. our food system can be fully and completely regenerative, we can make the earth and the environment healthier with our food system. and back to my bullshit: animals are a part of that! they have to eat the stuff we can't or don't want to and poop in the right places and carry us through the winters and provide fabric and all sorts of shit! no one is going after peruvian llamas right now because they haven't been industrialized! seriously animals are not the problem we need them so bad. they're actually a part of the life cycle, unlike popular alternatives such as *checks notes* literal poison. im so tired
it's an entirely different way of thinking. it's an entirely different way of looking at the world. it requires you to look for the systems of life that surround you and where you can fit in. and not just fit in, but where you can help instead of control.
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loopy777 · 2 years
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star trek in modern times, is even worse than disney star wars. And thats completely disregarding the actually good parts like the rebels final season and mandalorian. Its miles worse than Rise of Skywalker. Like i genuinely got sick reading an interview of the making of picard, and the writer basically saying that the title character, who wanted to save billions of innocent lives, was the same as a colonialist supremacist, because he(A white man) tried to save an entire setient race from planetary destruction because... Well basically because he was a white man trying to play the role of a "savior", and so deserved scorn and mockery for believing they needed his help(And they did, the vast majority of them fucking died with their planet, when his higher ups essentially told him and his humanitarian efforts to go fuck themselves). Basically he was the one guy who stuck to his principles and the ideals of basic human decency and wanted to actually try and help, and the writers thought he was a colonialist for even trying to do so. And thats just ONE of the many, many, MANY terrible bits of writing from modern star trek.
GENERAL WARNING: I AM ABOUT TO SPEND THIS ENTIRE POST UNFAIRLY AND UNRELENTINGLY DUNKING ON ALL THINGS STAR TREK. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SCROLL PAST AND ENJOY YOUR DAY IF THAT WOULD UPSET YOU.
I dunno, that sounds exactly like Star Trek Next Gen to me. A lot of those episodes try to be all Metaphor about some social issue, aim for Center-Left in their politics, and somehow only end up hitting "no one should ever use transporters for anything."
Keep in mind, this is my list of all the good (non-reboot, non-Paramaount+) Star Trek stuff:
"The Trouble with Tribbles"
Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home
Yes, this is the entire list. But I admit I haven't seen everything, just all the classic movies and random samplings from the various series. Yes, that includes "The Wrath of Kahn" and "The Best of Both Worlds" Neither really grabbed me.
But I'll give Star Trek this: "The Trouble with Tribbles" lived up to all the hype and was spectacular. The DS9 follow-up, sadly, seems to have been made after everyone involved in the franchise forgot what comedy is; I could see that episode striving to make a joke, but it could never quite get its hands on the right ingredients.
Anyway, @thekingofwinterblog continued with:
Like the stupid animated goofy spin off that is pretty much a rip off of rick and morty is unironically the best that modern Star Trek has tonoffer, and thats… Pretty sad.
But I hear that a lot of people like Rick & Morty, and I've even heard that it contains some actual real scifi concepts. (I've not seen it myself, and my understanding is that the fans are insufferable.) So it make sense that ripping R&M off would make the best Star Trek. I mean, there's a reason Star Trek started on a major television network, shrank down to a more obscure network, and then eventually died. Maybe it should have chased trends and/or tried to be real scifi earlier. It's why I'm so confused why anyone thought that Star Trek could be a draw for Paramount+, beyond getting the die-hard Starfleet-uniform-owning super-fans as a guaranteed audience.
But even if they're making weird extremist arguments for what they're doing with all the new Trek (and I admit I'll a little doubtful that your summary is capturing the full message), at least there's an attempt to put some kind of perspective into the story. Junk like 'The Rise of Skywalker' is terrible partially because the only meaning to be derived from it is what's there by accident. There's no coherent voice to it. It's pure derivative mush, poisoned by panicked attempts to please the worst kind of fans.
So being bad for reasons besides being boring garbage is actually doing fairly well for Star Trek. I applaud the new writers. XD
Sorry. If it sounds like I'm being really harsh to Star Trek, it's because I am. ;) I've never understood the appeal, beyond finding that the original Kirk/Spock/Bones dynamic could be enjoyable to watch if it wasn't buried in super-boring hour-long trudges. My brother loves to watch reruns of the various series, but it's never done anything for me when it isn't being a full-on comedy and/or ripping off Star Wars.
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interruptions are a natural part of conversation, and sometimes i want to strangle people who just dismiss them as “rude”. interruptions are not automatically rude. they are a social signal & a form of communication. they can be rude depending on how they’re used. but they are also useful and necessary for many people (neurodivergent people especially). so we need to have a conversation about different forms of interruption, and what they mean.
#what's really interesting to me as a neurodivergent person who interacts w/ neurodivergent & neurotypical people alike#is how very DIFFERENTLY so many people treat interruptions.#i meet lots of neurodivergent folks who are like 'PLEASE interrupt me if i'm talking too much and you want a turn to speak'#and then there's my autistic father who will fucking yell at me if i interrupt him#which has nothing to do with autism and EVERYTHING to do with his attitudes towards power & patriarchy#and then there's plenty of neurotypical people who just fucking do not care about sharing the conversation#in small talk especially. i've met soooo many people who just seem to view me as an audience for their opinions or backstory#and then there are neurodivergent people i'm related to who i see make very real attempts to interact thoughtfully around OTHER people#and very minimal attempts to do so around me#and plenty of neurotypical people who just don't think you're worth listening to until you can PROVE it#and like. neurodivergent people interact in different ways and we need to address and talk about that#but also the sheer extent to which so many of us find we get dismissed and ignored in basic conversation--#like i wanna talk about neurodivergent needs but also i sorta wanna shout about how the way society treats conversation in GENERAL#is sorta fucking toxic#and really tends to encourage dominating attitudes and hands control & influence to the louder ruder more 'authorative' individuals#which of course tend to be people with more social capital#i'm just fucking sick of it like please start making an EFFORT to include people#it won't work all the time but making an effort and above all trying to convey RESPECT in your interactions with others#that will make a huge difference. even and especially when you struggle with conversing in general#but anyway i do feel like neurodivergent people in general tend to be more understanding of interruptions#and more likely to react with 'oh would you like to speak now?' as opposed to 'i'm just going to speak over you'#like we tend to ramble but we also tend to be aware of that and to believe that you have a right to make your conversational needs known#so PLEASE stop automatically dismissing interruptions as 'rude'#and start examining why they are happening and what motivates them#examine the motivations behind the actions before assigning blame
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rattyoakenbitch · 3 years
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❝𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐨 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞❞ ─ 𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐨
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hey, it's not like you ever tried to stay . .
❥ content ; gn reader, angst, dark themes, yandere themes, toxic relationship
❥ warnings ; sxlf hxrm & mxtilation, swearing, verbal abuse, manipulation, slight nxdity lol
❥ synopsis ; all you wanted was his attention. and by the gods, you were going to get his attention by any means.
❥ a/n ; first mello fic (: i've been wanting to write something dark for a while and ig i finally got the opportunity lol. i thought i got out of my death note stage but i'm back, so please don't be afraid to send requests or ask to be added to my nonexistent taglist! alsoo while this oneshot does include s/h, i am in no way glorifying or romanticizing it!!! but i do tend to write angsty and dark fics. again, this is a work of fiction and i don't intend for anyone to take this too seriously and let this influence them.
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The loud crash of a glass echoed throughout the room as a vase went flying through the air and collided with the wall, just a few feet from where you were standing.
You didn't flinch. Didn't scream. Didn't cry. Didn't react. You were used to Mello's fits of rage by now, months into your relationship. If you could even call it that, at this point.
You knew Mello wouldn't dare lay a finger on you; if he did, he'd cut off his own hands and have live with the guilt forever, knowing he brought you harm. Which is why you didn't react.
However, he didn't seem to have a problem when it was only verbal.
"I don't fucking get you!" Mello spat harshly and continued to rant, "Why did you think that was okay?! Did you once consider how I felt?! I was worried sick that some asshole hurt you but you come back a day later and tell me you were at some boy's house!"
You only scoff, leaning against the wall in a relaxed manner, eyeing the remaining shards of the vase carefully. Just like Mello, you were incredibly stubborn.
"Answer me, Y/N!"
"Okay, Mihael," you state cooly, using Mello's legal name and causing him to listen more intently. "First of all, I don't know what you expected me to do when you invited your weird mafia 'friends' over while I was trying to sleep. Second, he's not 'some boy', his name is Y/F/N and he's one of a few people I can trust. I don't know what you think of me."
"You could've gotten a hotel room, that's what!"
"With what money, Mihael?! What fucking money? You forced me to quit my job and then practically lock me up in this hell hole that I can't even call 'home' anymore!"
Mello huffed. "Pfft, you should be grateful. I've kept you safe all this time, away from the dangers of the world. You're alive because of me. Me. You're mine."
"Yeah, some fucking life, right?"
"I provide for you, I protect you from the monsters out in the world, but you still decide to go and whore yourself out to your little 'friend'," Mello sneered, his sharp voice dripping with venom.
You stared at your boyfriend in disbelief. All words, all arguments and nasty retorts expiring on your lips.
"I.." You start, but laugh pitifully. "I don't even know what you're saying. I don't know if you even know what you're saying. Honestly, Mello, just when I thought you couldn't surprise me anymore, you start spewing complete and utter bullshit out of your mouth." Mello's silence only egged you on. "It's no wonder Near always came in first place." Aaand there it was. You snapped.
If looks could kill, you'd be dead. Mello's eyes widened in anger at the mention of Near, reminding him of his inferiority.
In a completely different situation where he wasn't on the receiving end, Mello would be smiling proudly, listening to your clever retorts and comebacks. You've always been as stubborn and hot headed as him, and he really liked that about you, fuck that "opposites attract" bullshit. (I ACC LOVE THAT TROPE LOL IM SORRY) However, considering you were both extremely toxic people, it was far from entertaining when it was you who got in a fight with the other.
You didn't stop, though. If he was gonna play that who-could-be-more-toxic game, you weren't gonna back down.
"I don't know if it was the explosion or you've really always been that stupid, but you need to get the fuck over yourself and stop throwing tantrums when you find out that I have a life, too, and I have friends. Friends who actually give a damn."
You stare down each other in silence, a heavy tension hanging in the air. Still, after a few moments, Mello didn't make any effort to speak or react, other than walking out of the room.
Days, weeks went by. Mello hasn't spoken a word to you. Hasn't even looked in your direction when you passed each other or walked into the same room. You didn't exist anymore, and it worried you.
Mello was never like this. Within a few days or even hours after an argument, you would easily kiss and make up. Had you gone too far this time?
Besides the fact that Mello was intentionally giving you the cold shoulder, he was also busy with work, and was out of the house from midnight to early afternoon. During that time, you would stay at home and carry out your every day mundane tasks and chores.
Even now, you didn't seek comfort in your family or friends. You were either busy keeping the house clean, sleeping, or entertaining yourself on social media. But it was all a sad attempt to keep your mind occupied on anything else other than Mello.
And one day like any other where Mello was out doing whatever the hell mafia dudes do, you snapped. You decided you were sick of the silent treatment.
If Mello was gonna play dirty and ignore you, you were gonna give him something to react to.
Mello came home some time after sunset. Kicking off his boots as he walked in the front door, he immediately knew something was off. It was quiet - too quiet. Despite the fact that you were practically taking some sort of forced break after the argument, you acted the same. You went about your day and didn't bother acting shy or timid around Mello. You still hummed earworm pop songs to yourself or put on a podcast to fill the tense air. But now there was nothing. Just Mello, the walls, and the silence.
Mello cautiously walked around the house and searched for any signs of you, fearing the worst.
As he frantically looked around, he stopped abruptly at the sight of blood smeared onto the hallway wall.
Blood.
His heartbeat began to thump loudly in his ears.
Then he noticed more blood. And more, smeared up on the wall, and eventually a trail picked up. He followed the bloody trail as it lead him through the hallway and stopped outside of your shared bedroom that he hasn't been inside for weeks.
Mello shakily inhaled and braced himself for whatever gruesome scene he would walk into.
He reached for the doorknob, twisting it and letting himself in.
Soon as he did, he ceased all motions, his breath caught in his throat as he tried to process what his eyes were showing him.
There, you sat on the bed, nothing on but your underwear and one of Mello's shirts. On one hand, you loosely held a pocket knife. On the other, you had your sleeve rolled up, your inner arm facing Mello's direction.
Your doe eyes looked up from the floor and met Mello's panicked ones. He was finally looking at you again. Despite the gorey setting and the stinging in your arm, you smiled. You were real to him again.
Multiple cuts oozed blood and trickled down your arm, onto your now dirtied clothes and the once satin white sheets below you.
As Mello got closer, silently freaking out, he could now see that these weren't just cuts - you carved out words. Sentences, onto your arm.
Among the many bloody 'I love you's' and pleads, one word stuck out to him.
It was his name.
He felt sick. Distraught. Guilty. Afraid.
"Y/N," he choked out shakily.
His gaze trailed up your arm, your body, and fixated onto your seemingly innocent face. Your face was rested and gentle, your eyes still staring up at him with adoration and desperation. If it weren't for the blood that painted your whole body and surroundings red, he would have found comfort in your presence.
"I did this.." You ran your fingers along your fresh wounds, not once wincing or drawing back in discomfort. "For you."
You continued, a sick sweetness in your voice. "Jus' wanted to show you how much I love you.. You've been leaving me so lonely, Mello." You frowned. "It was only a matter of time before I had to do something. And now you're finally here.. And you won't leave me again."
183 notes · View notes
dxrkluvie · 3 years
Text
SHALL WE CHERRY?
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JEAN K. x EREN x FEM READER
threesome 18+ smut
Full story available on my ao3. Click here.
Story name : " Shall we cherry? "
If you like my stories, please support me on insta --> @/llllenaj
You: I am bad at first impressions. 
Eren: Do you want me to drive you home?
 
You nodded and let him lead the way. When you reached his car, he held the door open for you. It made you blush lightly. 
When he sat down on the seat next to yours, his shirt lifted a little bit, revealing his well-toned abs. You looked away immediately. 
 
Eren: Are you okay?
You: Yes.
He started driving. The lights were reflecting on his face, you noticed how well sculpted it was. A few hairs were falling on his forehead. 
 
He was just so fine. 
 
You: How old are you? 
Eren: 19. And you?
You: Me too. Thank you for giving me a ride tonight. 
Eren: It's nothing. By the way, the offer still stands.
You: What offer?
Eren: Mushes and wee- WHO GAVE YOU YOUR FUCKING LICENCE FUCKING PIECE OF SCUM?- the boy yelled as the driver in front of you who took a right turn without flashing their indicators. 
You: If you don't cuss on the way, you're doing it wrong.
Eren: I would love to crucify those fuckers. 
You: I wonder if they paid their instructors. 
Eren: Perhaps.
You: I've never done shrooms. What is it like?
Eren: It depends on how much you take. Typically you see the colors a lot more vividly, they're A LOT brighter and sometimes they'd move. Also, you could get an intense body high. It enhances your feelings and messes with your head but in a very beautiful way. 
You: Oh, weird. Have your friends done it?
Eren: Yes. I am not into fake shit. Natural all the way, there's no such thing like dying from weed or mushes. UNLESS you've mistakenly picked the wrong shroom, but I'm not dumb. 
You: I don't know...
Eren: You don't have to be afraid, I will take care of you. 
You: Oh...- you looked down, blushing once more. Being all shy and mushy was so not you. But damn, this charming brat. 
The boy shook his head and looked for his parking spot.
You: Wait, we are here already?
Eren: I assume you were too busy daydreaming.
You: Oh, sorry. 
Eren's phone buzzed. It was a message from Armin saying: 
 
' Hello, Jean drove me home, I would appreciate it if you let me rest for a little while on my own and not come home yet as this whole gathering thing was too much for me. Thank you, Eren.' 
The boy texted back: 
 Okay, is Jean home though?
A: No, he went out.
E: Okay, rest well - he said and drifted away from the parking lot. - Change of plans. If you don't mind.
 
You: What happened? And I do not.
Eren: Something's up with Armin, he's just so sensitive like that. It will be fine. 
You: I don't feel like going home yet...
 
Eren: Where do you want to g- before he could finish, he received a call. It was Jean. 
 
J: Where the hell are you?
E: I should be asking the same. I am in the car with y/n. 
J: Armin kicked me out of the dorm. 
Eren rolled his eyes. 
E: I am not sure what we could do.
 
You, mouthing: Maybe we could try a motel?
 
E: Y/n is suggesting a motel, are you down?
J: Yeah, just give me the address whenever.
E: Okay, cool.
 
They hung up. The boy looked at you, his eyes were beyond stunning. - Why a motel? 
You: You know I am new here, I'd like to see what it is like outside of this city. Just curiosity. 
 
One of your fantasies was to have sex in a motel with a hot stranger. And today's events were working in your favor. You thought it was oddly romantic and you'd always make up fake scenarios in your head where this was happening.  You drove outside of the city for about half an hour. Eren was slowly losing patience. 
Maybe we could try this one? - he suggested, pointing out to a random building. 
You: Sure- you replied, googling the place- it has 4.7/5 stars and breakfast is included. $130 a night. 
Eren: Sure. - he said and got out of the car. Next, he opened the door for you and waited for you to get out, before locking it. 
You found those gestures cute.
When you entered the place, the receptionist gave you a weird look. It made you feel unwelcome. Eren did not bother reacting, he just took out his card out and tapped it on the pin pad.
Room #16 is for you - the old lady spoke - good night.
Eren: Night. 
You walked to the elevator.
It fascinated you how unbothered he was.
You: Did you see that?
Eren: She's probably sick of random teens renting a place to party/fuck, cause they don't have their own places yet. 
You laughed - I will give it to your cash. 
Jean called again. The phone call consisted of him asking for the location, and Eren simply giving it to him followed by the questions '' Should I bring cherries and alcohol? '' to which Eren answered ''yes'' and hung up. 
 
While you were walking past the other rooms, you could hear noises of all sorts. Sweet moaning, people fighting, loud music, and people yelling. 
Eren unlocked the door slowly. You stood behind him, carefully observing his hand movements. It was oddly arousing. His hands were big and had some veins slightly popping out. 
The smell of his expensive cologne was spreading into the air. He took his tie off and threw it across the room. The same happened to the hair tie that held his hair up. 
Neither of you was talking. 
You sat on the bed, and he did the same. Both of you had your backs turned on one another. 
15 minutes passed in silence when Jean suddenly opened the door with a bang. 
Jean: HELLOOOOOOOO!
Eren: Ew.
Jean: Get lost - the boy shook his head and placed the bag he carried with him on one of the nightstands- I brought what you wanted me to. 
Eren: So, shall we cherry? -  he asked, no one in particular. 
You: What is that? 
Jean: Kind of like a drinking game but not exactly. The rules are really simple. You dip a cherry in vodka and place it in-between your lips. The other person has to take the cherry without touching your lips OR they'll have to give you oral.
You looked away, squeezing your eyes and lips. 
Jean: All good?
Eren: It's fun. You don't have to, though.
Jean: Yeah if it's not something you think you could have fun with.
You: No I would actually try that.
Eren: Oh? - his tone changed. The boy took one of the already washed cherries. Jean handed him a plastic cup where he poured some vodka and dipped the fruit in it. He placed it on top of your lips and you aimed to eat it right away.
Jean: You broke the rule.
You: Fuck, I am sorry it wasn't intentional. 
Eren: It's okay. How did it taste?
You: Sweet and slightly bitter. 
His eyes narrowed at you. It almost looked like he was putting a lot of effort into getting the fruit in between his lips, that you've been dying to taste for a while.
You leaned closer to him and he purposefully pushed the cherry away with his tongue - Oh shit it fell. 
You: This was on purpose.
The boy placed his hand at the back of your head- I will give you a head if you want.
Jean: Can I join?
You nodded, embarrassed.
Another thing that has been a common fantasy of yours was to be fucked by two guys, but you never thought it would ever become reality.
Eren slid your right leg up. Jean did the same with your left one.
You laid on the bed, breathing heavily.
Jean lowered his voice, making it appear huskier - Relax, baby girl, you'll enjoy that tongue.
Eren lazily lifted your dress up, and Jean slid your pants down.
Both of them were taking turns to kiss on both of your thighs. You could feel your skin get more sensitive after every touch.
Blood rushed down and you felt warmth between your hips.
Jean spread your pussy open using his middle and index finger & Eren gave your throbbing clit a slow teasing lick.
Jean: She's getting wetter it's so hot.
Eren: I know.
This small dirty talk was causing your thirst for them to grow.
Eren: She is dying to get her hole licked, aren't you, y/n?
You let out a loud ' yes ' & shortly afterward you felt both of their tongues lick up and down on both of your pussy lips.
It made your toes curl.
Eren's finger started to slowly pump in and out of your hole as Jean's tongue was eagerly gliding up and down on your wet cunt.
The room got filled with your sweet " ah's " and "oh's".
At one point you felt both of their tongues battling one another across your clit and it was nearly leaving you breathless. 
The boys stopped and looked up at you.
Eren: Have you done this before?
You: As in a threesome?
He nodded. You replied with a '' no '. 
Eren: How is it going so far?
You: Amazing. I actually want to return the favor. 
Both of them stood up. 
Now you were off the bed, kneeling before them. You could see the lust in their eyes. Especially Jean's. 
Both of your hands took a place on both of their dicks. They were gently stroking them as your mouth was giving them licks and sucks on their tips, going from Jean's cock to Eren's back and forth, in a pattern. 
One thing you've noticed was that Eren was tenser, his body language was more indicative. He was rock hard, his pupils were dilated and he was thrusting in your mouth slightly when given the chance. 
As for Jean - he was more vocal. He'd let out some quiet groans here and there and you would occasionally hear some ' fuck yes '.
Eren: Go lay down. 
You did as ordered.
Jean: Hold on - the boy said and laid down first, leaning against the bed frame - you can lay on me.
You hesitated for a bit. Eren walked up to you, lifted your chin up, and kissed you. His hands slid down to your boobs and squeezed them gently. His thumbs massaged on your nipples. It made you wetter. 
" Okay... " you said and crawled on top of him, having him face your back. 
Jean placed his hand around your neck and kissed on it - Have you done anal? - he asked, whispering. 
You: No. 
Jean: Would you be interested? 
You: Yes. 
He placed his thumb on your lips, you licked it. 
Jean: Shitt...- he grunted and slid both of his hands down on your body, as yours were surrounded his, supporting your whole upper half. Your legs spread open and Eren made his way to you once again. 
His lips were on top of your clit, sucking and licking on it. 
His thumb moved down to your asshole and he carefully massaged on it in circles. He stopped for a second and looked at you - I am going to insert it in... - the boy spoke quietly while doing so.
Your body tensed up. You felt full but in a good way.
To your pleasant surprise, he was good at giving oral and a bit more gentle than his friend was.
Jean: Should I stick it in? I want to fuck you so hard, y/n.
You: Go for it.
Eren got on top of both of you. He leaned forward to give you a passionate kiss. He did the same to Jean. You noticed how attractive he looked up-close.
You: Fuck that's so hot...
Eren's cock slid inside your wet pussy as for Jean's, in your back entrance. Slowly.
You moaned as both of them started to push themselves inside you.
Eren was about an inch and a half bigger than Jean. It made you leak. He smirked - You're that wet for me?
You: Yes - you whispered against his lips and kissed him.
Both of them started thrusting inside your holes at a quicker pace.
You moaned loudly and leaked a bit more.
The pressure was building up rather quicker than you expected it to as your sweet spots were stimulated at the same time.
You: Fuck I'll squirt all over you.
Eren stopped moving and placed his lips on your neck, slowly kissing down on you.
His tongue teased your nipples. They hardened even more. Every touch of his, or Jean's was making your skin more sensitive.
The view of you and Eren indulging made Jean stop for a second as well and enjoy the show.
Your hips moved against Eren's.
He bit on your lower lip - That eager, huh?
You: Yes...
Jean's hands were firmly holding your butt, viciously slamming it down on his while Eren was filling you up from the front.
You were nearly reaching your climax and soon you squirted.
Both of them mentioned how hot this was.
You giggled a bit. - I am pretty sure we will ruin the mattress.
Eren: Who gives a shit...
Jean: Y/n...
You: Yes?
Jean: Can I cum in you?
You: Yeah...it should be okay.
Eren stopped and took a chair, sitting in front of both of you.
Jean used you for his own pleasure, as for Jaeger - for his entertainment.
He began to jerk off to the view of you being fucked.
Your hole was tight and it made Jean cum instantly.
Eren: Oh shit... -
You: Can I get off? - you asked Jean.
He said ' yes '. Before leaving though, you gave him a kiss, which he returned.
Next, your lips transferred to Eren's. He held the back of your head. Your fingers ran through his hair. Your eyes locked.
You: Do you need help?
Eren: Sure.
Once again, you kneeled down. Your tongue licked on his whole length. Your mouth was on his balls now, taking each one in as your hand was stroking him.
His breathing got heavier and his precum leaked.
You: Are you enjoying that?
Eren: Very much so fuck...
You: Cum for me, Eren.
The boy grunted and shot out a few loads - Enough! - he said and gently pushed you away.
You looked at him.
Eren: You should try sex on shrooms, it makes everything × 10 better.
You: I don't see why I wouldn't.
You blushed. Both of your wildest dreams have combined in one in just one night and you felt somewhat satisfied. Both- sexually and emotionally.
Eren: How are you accepting what just happened?- the boy asked as he stood up and handed everyone a tissue.
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jaycewrites-192000 · 3 years
Text
Growl: Chapter 9
Warning: This chapter includes sensitive themes such as language, violence, drugging, and sexual assault (nothing too extreme though). Read with caution.
Tag List: @theravencawsatmidnight @etroman @kaariqueen
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Your P.O.V
I made my way through the halls to get to my next class, all day I couldn't stop thinking about yesterday. I spent the entire day with Kyotani, it really was like we were on a date, even though we're both just friends. I hated to think of it like that, but it was the truth. And it would stay the truth until I finally confess, which is very unlikely. I already made things awkward enough last night at the restaurant. I can't believe I told some random stranger that we were "dating". God, why did I do that? I'll have to apologize to Kyotani later. Just as I turned the corner to walk down the last hall before my class, I heard someone calling my name.
"Hey, L/n!" I stopped dead in my tracks and grimaced. And just when I was in a pretty good mood too. Not bothering to turn around, I respond. "Not in the mood today Chiharu. So save me the effort of wasting my time and fuck right off." I say before I continue walking. "Oh really? That's pretty bitchy of you L/n, walking away before I could introduce my friends to you."
"What friends? You mean more of Oikawa's annoying ass group of fan..." I trail off as I turned around. Instead of girls at Chiharu's side, there were tall buff guys. They looked liked third years. "Wow Chiharu, totally didn't figure you as the type to date more than one guy at a time." I smirked. Chiharu returned the smug grin. "Can't say the same for you though, huh? I saw you hanging out with that freak that came to your rescue yesterday. I bet Oikawa wouldn't be too happy to hear you were with another man." Before I could remind her for the hundredth time that me and Oikawa were not in a relationship, she continued.
"I mean, whoring yourself out to every guy you meet is bad enough. But going so low as to date someone like that freak? Ha! Now that's just pathetic! Didn't know you needed attention that badly!" I felt a vein pop in my head. I could care less if she made fun of me, but she brought Kyotani into it. He's done nothing wrong. She had no right to talk about him like that. I stormed over to her and grabbed her by her shirt collar. "Listen here bitch! Keep Kyotani's name out of your mouth or I'll-"
"You'll what!? You won't do shit! And besides, I'm not here to fight you. Like I said before, I wanted to introduce my friends." Chiharu snapped her fingers, and two of the third years grabbed onto my arms and pulled me away from her. I was going to scream, but the third one covered my mouth before I got the chance. "Come on, I think it's time we teach this one a lesson." With that, the third year that was keeping me quite, knocked me out cold.
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"Ugh...What...What happened?" I groan before slowly opening my eyes. My head was pounding, and I felt dizzy. My vision finally adjusted and I could tell just were I was. I was behind the school near the dumpsters. Why was I hear and...why can't I move!? It was then I noticed my hands were tied together behind my back. All at once it hit me. Chiharu, the third years, she had them knock me out. My breathing picked up rapidly. Why? What were they going to do? I managed to sit myself up, if I could just stand, I can run back inside the school and call for help. But I couldn't, I was so dizzy, it made standing was difficult. I felt something warm hit my knee, blood. I felt it run down my cheek this time, my head must have been bleeding.
"Come on!" I say to myself, attempting to stand once again, but again I couldn't bring myself to stand, I could hardly sit up straight. A hit to the head wouldn't do all this. "They must have drugged me..." I say breathlessly. "Right we did, sweet cheeks." I gasp and look up to see the three third years from before towering over me. "W-what do you want from me? Did that bitch tell you to do this?" I ask, glaring up at the three. "Oh, she's smart. I like em smart." Siad one of the three. "I prefer them more dumb honestly. But she'll do." Said another. "Yeah, Chiharu told us to do this. But really, we would have done it sooner." The one talking to me crouches down to my height.
He looks me up and down, practically undressing me with his eyes. It felt disgusting. "You're pretty cute. How have we not met you before?" He asks. I make sure my legs were firmly pressed together and close to my body. "I prefer to keep to myself so I don't meet people like Chiharu or you scumbags. Now let me go!" I demand. The guy in front of me chuckles. "Sorry, but no. We ain't going anywhere, anytime soon, princess." He moved his finger down my leg. I kicked at his shin roughly, making him groan in pain. The other two third years laughed at his pain.
"Damn, Chiharu was right. You are a bitch." Suddenly his hand was around my throat. He slammed me back down to the ground, hovering over me. "Hey! Make sure you leave some fun for us!" One of them called. "Shut it. There's plenty of her to go around." Says the one on top of me. his free hand tugged at my uniform's tie, loosening my blazer. "No! Stop! Stop it!" I cried.
"See, I knew you didn't give her enough. She's still bitching and moaning." One of the two said, referring to what I only assumed was the drug they slipped me while I was unconscious. "Who cares? No one's gonna hear her." I yelled and cried, but like he said, no one would hear. "Would shut up already!? I promise you'll enjoy it." The guy on top of me purred into my ear. "W-why? Why are you doing this?" I managed to croak out between sniffles.
"Chiharu figured you needed to be taught a lesson. If you want multiple guys, then that's just what you'll get." I sobbed and shut my eyes tightly. 'Someone please help me...' I whimpered in my mind. Just as the man's hand began to go up my skirt, a loud cracking noise filled my ears. Soon after was a cry of pain. My eyes shot opened when I felt the man's grip on my throat loosen. "What the fuck!?" He yelled. Another cracking sound and a cry of pain, then fast approaching footsteps, and before I knew it, the weight of the guy on top of me was gone.
From what I could see, my tears blurring my vision slightly, was someone grabbing the guy and punching him multiple times in the face before kneeing him in the gut and throwing him aside. The person who saved me walked over to the guy's limp body and kicked at it, yelling out in fury while doing so. That yelling closely resembled a man's yells.
After a few more seconds, the person hurried to my side and sat me up. Now that he was closer in view, I could make out who he was. "...Kyotani?" I whimper. "Y/n...I'm sorry I got here late..." He muttered before holding me in his arms tightly. "I'm so sorry." The dizziness that filled my mind had finally gotten the better of me, and once again I fell unconscious.
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I woke up again sometime after that, there was something soft underneath my body, and something warm on top. I slowly opened my eyes, narrowing them momentarily due to the brightness of wherever I was. After a minute my eyes adjusted, I was in a room this time. Not just any room, Kyotani's room. "Kyotani." I breathed. Memories of what just happened replayed in my mind, tears begin to fill my eyes. Kyotani saved me. If it wasn't for him, I might have been...I felt sick just thinking about it. I didn't want to think about it. I just wanted Kyotani. Where was Kyotani? "Kyotani..."I whimpered pathetically. From the other side of his bedroom door, I could hear his voice. It was feint, but I could just barely make out what he was saying.
"...She's not coming today, neither am I......Look I'll explain everything later just trust me ok?....Alright, see ya." After a few seconds Kyotani entered, his expression brightening when he saw me. "You're awake!" He rushed to my side. "Are you-Did they-what happend?" He fumbled over his words. I didn't respond, I just stared at him. He's done so much for me. He became my friend when he didn't have to, he helped me study when no one else would, and now he's saved me from a very horrible situation. I rose my shaky hand and gently pressed it to his cheek. "Kyotani...thank you. Thank you so much." I say weakly.
Kyotani put his hand on top of mine. "It was nothing. Y/n, what...tell me what happened. Who were those assholes?" Kyotani asked, repressing the anger in his tone. I removed my hand and turned my head away from him, not wanting him to see me cry. "Y/n?" Kyotani speaks softly. "I really don't want to talk about that right now." I tell him as calmly as possible. I felt Kyotani's thumb gentle wipe away a stray tear on my cheek. "Ok. you don't have to right now. How are you feeling?" He asked. I only shrug, still not look at him. In honesty, I was better. That damned drug wore off, my head was a lot clearer.
I felt something press down at the foot of Kyotani's bed, I glance down to see Killer. His ears were flat against his head and he was whimpering while pawing at my leg. I smile sadly. "Aw, it's ok boy. I'm ok now." I say gently. Kyotani pet killer's head a few times. "He went crazy when he saw me carry you in here. I'm glad my mom and sister weren't here to see it. They would have started pestering me." I glanced over at him. "Asking why I'm carrying an unconscious girl into the house, then having to explain what I just had to fucking see..." His hand moved away from Killer's head, and covered his eyes. He was shaking. I sat up and wrapped my arms around him. "You don't have to talk about it either." I say softly.
His arms found their way around my waist. "Right..." I sniffled. We both sat in silence, just enjoying being in each others embrace. After a moment or two, I finally spoke. "Who were you on the phone with?" I asked. "Iwaizumi. He wanted to know why we didn't show up to practice." I shifted my position to get more comfortable. Kyotani picked this up and laid me back down on the bed before crawling in next to me. He draped his arm over me and I laid my head on his chest. "I won't say a word about this to him or anyone, until you're ready. Until then, I'll be here for you ok?" I nod and close my eyes, breathing in Kyotani's scent. He was so warm. "Thank you Kyotani."
"This will be selfish of me to ask but, can I stay here with you tonight? I don't want to be alone right now." Kyotani rubbed my back softly. "Of course you can." I thanked him again before texting my mother, letting her know I'll be staying with Iwaizumi. I wouldn't have lied but my mom trusted him the most. 'Hope you don't mind Iwaizumi.' I set my phone aside and snuggled closer to Kyotani.
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17 notes · View notes
127-mile · 3 years
Text
Une seconde avant noël.
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Pairing: Lee Ten x reader.
Genre: Christmas, exes, fake dating, feelings realization / Fluff, angst.
Warnings: Vulgar language, alcohol consumption.
Word count: +5.2k.
Prompt chosen: It’s Christmas Eve. It’s the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer, we smile a little easier, we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year, we are the people that we always hoped we would be.
Plot: What an idea to break up before Christmas, Ten thinks, as he announces to his mother that yes, you will indeed be present at the annual party organized for Christmas Eve.
A/N: This is part of the Walking in a winter wonderland collab hosted by @suh-insane​ and @neocitybynight​.
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"Do you always have to be in my way? Fuck Ten, be careful where you are going!" you growl, looking at the content of the box strewn on the floor. You have a ton of work to finish if you want to have a meal break, and Ten really is not making it easy for you. "You piss me off." you mumble as you kneel to retrieve the glitter bloxes, and sigh in exasperation when you notice of them opened. You'll find glitter everywhere for a month at this point. Who is stupid enough to think of glitter as a passable Christmas present for a child, you think, rolling your eyes.
"Can't you be polite? We have customers, damn it!" you turn your face to Ten who looks at you as if you caused the accident yourself when this idiot was hunched over his phone at the time of the impact. "And you, can't you at least pretend to work instead of checking how many sluts you'll be able to bring in your dingy apartment this weekend?" you stuff the glitters into the box while huffing, you can't take any more. If you didn't need the money so much, you would quit your job this instant.
Ten's chuckle is enough to make you angry once again. You can not stand hearing him and his stupid laugh anymore, and if you looked up at him, you would see his annoying little smile. "Are you jealous?" he asks, and you bite your lip so as not to laugh. They are causing enough commotion in the middle of the store, you do not need your boss to come and see what's going on. "Jealous? But why would I be jealous, Ten. You really need to take the time to think and calm your fucking ego, it's not good for you."
"I'm not saying you are jealous, I'm just saying that worrying about who I can bring back to my apartment is suspicious." you look at him, shaking your head. God damn his face would be beautiful with your fist pressed against. "You're so full of yourself Ten. I don't care what garbage you take home, all I want is for you to get down to work, before if you haven't noticed yet, it is almost Christmas and the store is full of customers."
"Garbage?" he asks, tilting his head, and you turn on your heels. "As far as I know, I took you back to my apartment at one point." it is too much for you. You leave the arts and crafts section, and you put the box at the feet of one of your colleagues who looks at you, incredulous. "I'm going to be sick, can you take care of it." you are not sick, but if you stay with Ten for a minute longer, you will eventually be.
You ignore a client who ask you about an interactive teddy bear they sac on TV, and you know it's wrong, but you have no choice, or you'll end up spitting your venom on a poor innocent person who wants nothing more than to please someone for Christmas. You push the door to the break room, and you walk to the bathroom. As you thought, it's empty. The boss doesn't allow anyone to go while they are working.
You push the door open, and you sit on the closed toilet. It is not the cleanest place, but it is the only place where you'll have time to think, and where you can calm your sudden urges for murder. It's sad to see where the relationship between you and Ten is. It was not always like that. There was a time when you weren't insulting each other at any opportunity, when you could smile at each other without wanting to throw up. There was a time when you were in love, and convinced that you would spend the rest of your life together.
You tense when you hear the door open, and you remain silent, pressing your hand against your mouth, as if it would help you go unnoticed when your feet are visible under the door gap. "Y/n?" of course, there is only Ten to follow you to the toilet. He approaches the door and you see by his movements that he sits on the floor. You grimace, because you do not know how long the cleaning person has stopped washing the once white tiles.
"Ten, it's disgusting on the floor." you mumble, and hear him sigh. "What do you want? What's important enough for you to follow me into the bathroom?" you ask in a voice barely above a whisper. "I am sorry." he says, and you shake your head. This is not the first time you've found yourselves apologizing to each other after a little quarrel in the middle of the store, and you know it won't be the last time either.
"We only have one week left before Christmas, after that we won't have to see each other as much anymore. Can't we make an effort to ignore each other?" your voice is so weak, Ten feels his heart skip a beat. He never wanted the situation between the two of you to become so chaotic. He wanted nothing more than to be happy. Be happy with you.
"But- but I don't want to ignore you." Ten answers, and you get up to open the door. The boy almost rocks forward, since his forehead was pressed against the door. "Ten, you need to learn about the existence of germs on the bathrooms." he smiles weakly, and he stands up too, dusting his uniform pants. "What do you propose?" you ask, cocking your head.
"We're burying the hatchet." Ten crosses his arms against his chest, and you sigh. "Ten, we've already tried dozens of times since we broke up, and it always comes back to the same scenario. It's useless."
For the first time since they broke up, you do not pull back when he puts his hand on your arm. "But we can try. For real this time. We were friends before we were a couple, maybe we can be again?" there is so much hope in his voice, and in his eyes, that you can't afford to deny him anything. "We can try." you finally say, and Ten's smile is so bright that you could almost be blinded.
"Perfect! So will you come with me to the party my parents are hosting for Christmas Eve?" he asks, and this time, you pull back at his touch, and you clench your fist to punch him in the shoulder. He whines loudly and you refrain from not doing it again. "You asshole! Why are you doing this to me?" Every year, the Lee family host a Christmas Eve party. It's always lavish, with beautiful decorations, and exquisite food. You loved spending Christmas Eve with Ten's family. So reminding you that you will not be attending this year hurts.
"But I'm serious!" he explains by rubbing his shoulder. He takes a step back to make sure he doesn't get another hit, he knows you all too well. "You are invited." you frown as you dig your hands into the pockets of your pants. "We are not together anymore, why would you parents invite me?" for a moment Ten looks embarrassed, and he is unable to meet your gaze. "Ten, what are you hiding from me?" he hops from one foot to the other, and you are ready to ask him if he feels like pissing when he opens his mouth to explain. "It may well be that I didn't tell my parents we broke up."
"But why Ten? You told me you did! It's been months now." the fact that he is embarrassed is at least a good thing, he is still human. "I was going to do it, I promise, but my mom started talking about the party, and hse said she missed you and really can't wait to see you. You know how much my mom adores you, I didn't want to break her heart!"
It's really mean to include his mother and her love for you in the story, because he knows you considered Ten's mother like your own when you first met her. "I'll tell them everything after the holidays, I promise! If you come, I'll never ask you anything again, and I'll disappear if that's what you want."
"I hate you, Ten." even though it's a phrase he doesn't like to hear, he knows you do not mean it. At least that's what he hopes, because he doesn't know what he would do if you really hated him. "So?" he asks in a whisper, and you roll your eyes. "I'll come, but this will be the last time I do anything for you. Anything, do you hear me?"
He nods, and he smiles once more. "Good, very good! We'll take my car, and I won't carge you for your share of the gasoline, don't worry." he is so excited that you start to feel the excitement too, but you do not show him, no. You walk to the bathroom door, it's time for you to get back to work, but before you leave, you turn to Ten. "I need my day tomorrow, so I'll let you tell the boss you're going to use your day off to replace me."
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The following week is the calmest week you've had since breaking up with Ten. You meet in the store, but you ignore each other. Well, you ignore him every time he tries to talk to you, it's much better than insulting him until he resigns himself to being silent. And when Christmas Eve comes, you wonder if you really made the right decision by agreeing to follow Ten. And pretend to be his partner again.
You wait outside your apartment for Ten to arrive, your hands in the pockets of your coat, and your face niched in your scarf. The cold wind is whipping your face, and the snow have started to fall on the city which is festive with the fairy lights, the decorated trees in the streets, and the laughter of the locas who are eager to come home and celebrate Christmas Eve.
Thanks to Ten, you were able to get out of work early, and also, you won't be spending Christmas on your own. That's the only positive things you can find in this strange situation. Even your friends have told you to text Ten and cancel, they all think it's bad, and they think it will do them more harm than good. And you understand them, you too wonder what will happen after the party is over, once you have to go back to your routine without each other.
But that's life, and sometimes you have to make sacrifices to avoid hurting the people you love, you think with a sigh.
When you feel ready to freeze in place, Ten's car pulls up in front of you, and you huff. Finally. He gets out of the car, and he opens the door. Seeing him do that make you roll your eyes. "I can open a door." you mumble, and when he lifts his big shining eyes, you sigh. "You'll catch a cold, Tennie." he shakes his head, and you get in the car.
You feel a weight being lifted from your shoulder as your warm up, and Ten watches you, smiling when you take off your gloves. "You want a photo, it'll last longer." you say, and he shrugs. "I'm just glad to see you." yeah, you don't believe that lie, he must already be playing his part not to be caught off guard in front of his parents.
Ten starts the engine, and begins to drive out of town. "I had my mom on the phone earlier, she is excited to see you, and so is my dad." you hum. "Me too, I really missed them." Ten's lower lip juts out, and you avoid looking at him, he knows you are weak when he acts like that. But not tonight, no. "Ten, don't forget your promise. We can't do this at every family reunion, you know that, it'll only hurt more every time.
"Yes I know, and I will, I promised, didn't I?" you nod, and you turn your head towards the window. You watch the landscape gently getting cover by a thin layer of white snow as you approach the countryside. You love the city, yes, but you would love to be able to land in the countryside, and have a simple life, far from the hustle and bustle of the city.
The rest of the road is silent, and you slowly fall asleep, you head against the window, rocked by the vibrations. It's Ten's hand on your shoulder that wakes you up. He is out in the car, and you notice that it is now dark outside. You stand up, yawning. "We're here." he says. The Lee family house is impressive, and decorated with lights. It is really beautiful, and you expected no less from Mrs. Lee whose favorite holiday is Christmas.
You get your bag and get out of the car. Your legs are numb, so you take Ten's arm to avoid tripping in the snow. Yeah, that would be fun, but you do not really want to soil your clothes now. Maybe later. You stop in front of the door, and Ten turns to you. "Ready?" and when you nod, he knocks on the door.
It only takes a minute for the door to open on Ten's mother. She looks at the both of you, and she smiles with a sweetness all her own. "My loves, how happy I am to see you! Come in or you'll get sick." Ten lets you pass, and when you enter, you are immediately engulfed in a hug. You melt, you can't help it. You feel like coming home, and god damn your heart hurt at the realization.
Ten clears his throat, and you refrain from laughing. When Mrs. Lee lets you take a step back, you both turn to the boy who frowns. "Impatient." his mother says before taking him in her arms in turn, for a shorter moment. You are pretty proud of it. "Come into the living room, the guests have already arrived."
You follow her into the living room, and you greet the guests. You and Ten have been together for a few years, so you know all of the family and friends who are used to being invited every year. "Ah, the lovers have arrived!" his father says, and you nod. You put the gifts you brought in your bag at the foot of the three, and you smile. You had a great time looking for the perfect gifts.
Immediately, you are taken aside by Ten's sister who is surprised to see you here. She is the only one in this room, besides Ten himself, who knows about your situation. Because yes, maybe you were drunk one night and called her, crying to complain about the ordeal your life had been like since breaking up with Ten. Tern is younger, but she is quite scary, so you hardly swallow your saliva when she comes face to face with you.
"What is this mess?" she asks in a whisper. "Did you get back together?" you worry your lower lip, giving Ten a furtive glance, he seems to be in the middle of a heated discussion with his father, and you shake your head. "Ten didn't say anything to your parents, so he asked me to come over, so as not to break the holiday spirit." you mumble, and if the Lee family was not there, you know Tern would go and slap her brother right away.
"You both are idiots." Tern says, and you shoulders slup. "Are you masochistic or what? Do you like hurting yourself?" you do not know what to say, you are just here to help Ten. "I know it's not the right thing to do, but it's Christmas Eve, so I'm going to pretend it's okay, smile, laugh, and be happy beofre I go back everyday life without Ten."
Tern sighs, tilting her head. "Is that what you want?" she asks before resuming. "Go back to a life without Ten? Because a person who has no more feelings would never agree to help their ex." That's the question, you don't know how you feel, your head is empty and your heart is a mess, it's been like this since Ten left. So you shrug. "I don't know Tern."
As you are about to speak, you are called out by Ten's mother who beckons you to approach. "Come help me in the kitchen for a minute, please." you nod, apologizing to Tern before joining her. There's nothing more to do, so you frown. "It's the only way to have some time with you without Ten jumping on you." she explains, and you can't help but laugh. "He learned to behave in public, don't worry."
"Is everything okay?" Ten's mother asks, and you nod. She looks worried, and for a second, you feel ready to tell her everything, but you can't, you promised Ten, and as he said himself, he doesn't want to hurt her, and neither do you. Not tonight anyway. "I'm asking because it's been a while since we've last seen you."
You nod. It's true that before, you used to visit the Lee family a couple of times each month, even though Ten was busy at work, and even more during the month of December, used to help Mrs. Lee prepare Christmas Eve. But being convinced that Ten had warned his parents, you did not do it anymore, you found it inappropriate.
"I was overwhelmed with work, I'm so sorry. But it's true that I should at least give given you a call." you explain in a weak voice, and the older woman shakes her head, placing a hand on your shoulder. "You have a job, you have a life, you have you own family, so you don't have to apologize for not having time. I get it, I was your age once."
You blame yourself more and more for the pain you are going to cause her, but you bite the inside of your cheek. Sometimes things don't go as planned, and you have to adapt. "And with Ten, is everything going well?" the question you would have liked to avoid. But you smile. "Everything is not perfect every day, but we both make an effort, because our relationship deserves it." Ten's mother smiles, she is proud to hear that her son has matured enough to do whatever it takes to keep his relationship healthy, and going.
"Don't hesitate to tell me if he crosses the line, then I'll give him a piece of my mind, believe me!" you laugh softly. You know that Mrs. Lee is, and will always be, there to help you. At least for now. But you need to stop thinking about the future, and focus on the present. You need to enjoy this last night you have with your surrogate family. "Thank you Ms. Lee, I appreciate that."
When she offers to return to the living room so as not to worry the guests, you follow her. Ten is still talking with his father, but the conversation seems to have calmed down, and you are happy. You know that the two men are used to arguing, and you have witnessed some rather disturbing scenes already, and you do not want that to happen again. You do not want to have to pick up Ten again.
"Everything okay?" you jump when Ten comes up behind you, and you turn to him. His cheeks are flushed, and you pursue your lips to stifle a laugh. "Don't tell me, your grandmother's friend?" he shakes his head with a poud, he doesn't like it when old little ladies pull his cheeks, it hurts. "My poor child. Maybe she'll stop someday."
"When she is in a coffin, yeah." Ten mumbles, and you put your hand over your mouth. "Don't say such things, Tennie!" you giggle and he smiles. He likes to be the reason for your laughter. "But to answer your question, yes, everything is fine. Your sister was a little surprised to see me here, but outside of that, like clockwork!"
Ten nods, and takes a sip from his glass of wine. He looks around him. The three, the decorations, his family, their friends, and you, and for a minute, he completely forgets that things are not the same as last year. Nothing is as before, everything is only an act. And when he turns his head towards you, and sees the lights of the tree reflected in your eyes, he thinks to himself that maybe, it was not a good idea.
See, you and Ten had a long relationship. You are his first love, and he always hoped that you would be his last. And to be honest, he still hopes so. But he knows that despite everything that has happened, all the insults you have exchanged, it would take very little time for him to fall in love again. No, he wouldn't need time at all, he is still in love, he always will be, he knows it deep down inside of him. And seeing you here, acting as your girlfriend, knowing that you'll probably never will be again, hurts like a bitch.
You think the same, and it hurts you too, but you both have too much pride to say it.
You then meet around the table, enjoying a fabulous feast prepared by Mrs. Lee. That's what you'll missed the most, the food. Ten is next to you, and every now and then, he leans in to whisper a joke in your ear. It's a tradition that you have, you try to make the other laugh, and get all eyes on yourself, knowing that it will be too inappropriate for you to say the joke out loud. At least some things are not changing.
You honestly can't remember the last time you had such a good time with Ten without it ending in an argument. What you do not notice is Tern's gaze. She watches you both, frowning. She can read between the lines. She knows that you still love each other, but are also too stupid to admit it.
The meal stretches over two hours, and when you finish, a full stomach, and ready to explode, it's time to open the presents. You get up from your chair and collect the packages. You give one to Ten's parents, one to Tern, and the last one, you hand it to Ten who titls his head. "You didn't have to, you know." he says in a whisper, and you shrug. "I know, but I got it before.. well before you know what."
Ten also gives you a present, and you arch an eyebrow at him. "I didn't want to see you pout thinking I forgot about you." he mumbles, and you smile. You open the present, and sigh. Inside is your favorite book, but not just any, the very first edition. It's old, rare, and probably extremely expensive. "Ten.." you whisper, and the boy smiles. "I know you've always dreamed of it."
What makes your heart beat a little faster is not that he gave you the book, but that he remembered it, because you only mentioned it once almost two years ago. Perhaps accusing him of never paying attention was wrong, now that you think about it. "Thank you so much Ten, you have no idea how happy this makes me." you lean over, and place a tender kiss on his cheek. And when you take a step back, you notice the rosy tint on Ten's cheeks. Cute.
"Come on, open yours!" Ten nods a minute later, the poor man needs to recover from the sudden physical contact first, then, he unwraps his present. If there is ont think Ten loves more than himself, and you, it's his watch. His father gave him his own watch for his 18th birthday, and it quickly became his most precious item, and unfortunately, he broke it a few months ago.
He thought it was irreparable, but nothing is ever irreparable, so you grabbed it one morning, and sent it over to have it fixed. It's not much for you, but when you see the tears in Ten's eyes, you knows that it was a perfect idea. "I thought I lost it." he says under his breath, and you shake your head. "I took it from you, wanted to surprise you, but I didn't expect it to take that long. I'm really sorry if I worried you."
Ten shakes his head, and he wipes his tears with his free hand, before a smile spreads over his beautiful face. "This deserves a kiss!" Ten's mother exclaims, and you hear Tern sigh loudly. "Mom, don't embarrass them." you are grateful for Ten, but you have to do it. So once more you take a step forward, and you cup Ten's face, and your face meet in the middle for a long, and soft kiss. Yeah, maybe you wanted to kiss him too. And for a while now.
"How beautiful young love is!" one person comments, and you smile weakly. Ten does the same, and you help him put the watch around his wrist. "Thank you, thank you. I don't think I will ever have enough words to thank you. It's the most perfect present." he says in a long sigh, and you smile. "I knew how much you cared about this watch." you run your fingers through Ten's hair to pull it out of his face, and realize how easy it is for you to fall back on your old habits.
The rest of the evening goes well.
You sit on the couch with Ten, and you listen to the stories the family members are telling, laughing every now and then, but you can't really focus with the heat radiating from Ten's body. Proximity in your hands. It would be so easy to take his hand, or rest your head on his shoulder.
Why the hell not, you think, it's Christmas, and you are supposed to be acting, so might as well make the most of it. You rest your head on Ten's shoulder, and if he is suprised, he doesn't show it, he lands a kiss on the top of your head. You feel his shoulders relax and you smile. You always have the same calming effect on each other. True love, but you refuse to think about it.
It's getting late, and you can't seem to suppress a long yawn, Ten notices. He stands up and you pout at the sudden lack of contact, and you sit up. "We're going to go mom, we still have a way to go, and it's snowing again." she nods, albeit a little sad, but she knows it would be too dangerous for Ten to drive if he is tired, of if there is too much snow.
"Thank you for coming, my loves, it made me very happy." once again, you find yourself engulfed in a long her that you give back with pleasure. And you thank her and Ten's father again and again for the invitation. And in a few minutes, you find yourself in front of the car. Tern follows closely behind you, and before Ten gets into the car, she puts her hand on his shoulder to take him aside. "Take care of yourself, and your heart, okay?"
Ten nods. "Don't worry, I know what to do to keep my heart safe." he looks at you to see if you heard him, but no, you are half asleep on the seat, and you would not even hear if a bomb were to explode near your ear. "Really, don't worry." he places a kiss on his sister's cheek, and he gets into the car after making sur the passenger door is closed. You collapsed into the seat, your new book clutched to your chest.
"It was a very good evening. You family is amazing." you say, and Ten can only agree. "You are right. Thank you for coming." you smile and lean your head against the window. You do not want to fall asleep, you want to enjoy your last moments with Ten, but unfortunately, fatigue quickly gets the better of you, and when you open your eyes, the car is already parked in front of your apartment complex.
"Thanks for taking me home, and thanks again for the book." you lean in to kiss the corner of his lips, but before Ten can say anything, you get out of the car. He opens the window, and you turns to him. "Have a good night, Ten." his fingers tighten around the steering wheel, and you see that he wants to say something, but he holds back. "Good night Y/n, and merry Christmas."
You walk towards the door that leads to the lobby, but the sound of the door opening and closing catches your attention. You turn around and find Ten in front of the car. You embrace your body with your arms to fight against the cold. "What are you doing, Ten?" you ask, and the boy finally approaches. He's so close you can feel his breath against your lips. "Would you like to go have coffee tomorrow? And maybe we can go check out the Christmas lights."
You smile, and you nod. "I would love this, Ten." his smile is as bright as the moon, and you chuckle softly when he places a small kiss on your lips before heading back to his car, not without a victory move that almost makes him trip in the snow.
It’s Christmas Eve. It’s the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer, we smile a little easier, we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year, we are the people that we always hoped we would be.
And maybe sometimes, you can decide to stay that kind of people.
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Bloody, Beaten, Bruised or Maximum Effort
Quick Tag List: @kuruumiya @spacelizardtrashboys @enigmaticandunstable @nattinngrst @amyofaquitaine
This passage contains potentially: scenes of one (or more) characters swearing, blood, self-harm (unintentional) and scenes of a violent nature. whump content and potential tear-jerking moments.
Summary: In this 'chapter' Kirby has her first fight in New Jersey, and stay in New Jersey for a week, leading to some heavy whump content by a certain someone.
Kirby's POV:
Standard match, one on one with a ten minute time limit. Not much for a debut but it's made into a big deal upon learning the opponents were male and female and not the standard male on male.
Jobber VS Newcomer.
Andrew Strong VS Kirby 'Gluttony' Lucifarian.
The bell rings and the fight starts.
"Strong throws the first punch and misses."
"The Ogress capitalises and hits him with a Feeding Frenzy."
"Strong is backed into the turnbuckle but the Ogress continues her attack."
"The referee is forced to separate them and Strong gets The Ogress in a lock-up."
"A swift knee to the stomach and Strong is staggered."
"The Ogress hits Strong with the Organ Grinder and it looks like it's all over."
"She covers Strong and … one … two … three. She's done it! The Ogress has won!"
Walking back to the locker room, I caught a glimpse of Moolah as she sneers at me and I shrug her off, focusing on getting into some clean clothes and going back to the hotel. I change and walk out of the dressing room with my bag slung over my shoulder.
"Good work out there, Kirby."
I recognise the voice and turn to see André, "Thank you, Drey."
"Moolah, doesn't seem to like you girls."
"We're stealing the hag's time in the sun. She always hates people who do that, even if she brings them in. I'll see you soon Drey."
"See you soon, Kirby."
I start walking back to the hotel when I start hearing a voice behind me, gradually getting closer.
"Hey, Miss, I think you dropped this." A distinctly masculine voice called out.
I turned around to see what the person wanted. To my surprise they had picked up my wallet, "Huh, I didn't feel it fall out of my pocket, thank you."
The man handed it to me before introducing himself, "Paul Orndorff. I saw your match earlier, you're fast for a giant, tough too."
"Thank you, Mr Orndorff."
He looked over his shoulder, "Oh, well, I have to go, Piper's waiting for me."
"Uh well, bye Mr Orndorff."
He left without another word and I unzipped my bag slightly to place my wallet inside, zipping it back up and continuing back to the hotel. I spent the night in a cramped hotel room and went to the gym the next morning.
Setting myself up at a heavy bag and practicing as per usual, no interruptions, no one else near by to talk to.
It was as if my mind just drifted away and I went into this mental fog, no gloves on but punching as if I did, breaking through the skin on my knuckles and only stopping after I noticed smears of blood on the heavy bag.
I wiped it down and bandaged my knuckles before moving on to doing push ups, lunges, squats and other exercises that wouldn't leave me covered in blood.
I was alone for the rest of the day, so I ordered some pizza (simple, pepperoni) and relaxed in the hotel, I pulled out a sketch book from my suitcase and began sketching.
I didn't plan on sketching anything too important so I just went with what was on my mind, which happened to be Roddy, Jeez it's like I'm becoming emotionally attached to this idiot.
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When I see him next I'll give him the drawing if I have it with me. I close the sketchbook and go back to the gym for around an hour, before coming back to the hotel and getting some rest.
I woke up the next morning (January 9th) and had a day much the same as the last, got up, did my morning routine, went to the gym, came back, ordered Chinese food and started drawing. It was just a shitty little thing, but once again, the Rowdy one came to mind.
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What is it with Scottish men and me, is it because I'm a quarter Scottish, is it maybe because I believe in the folk tales and stories of old, of knights on white steeds, saving fair maidens and living happily ever after, while the monsters they kill or maim lie in a pool of their own blood and wish they could've had a different life?
I have no idea, and the idea of my own mind comparing me with those monsters makes me regret ever reading those stories while growing up, rather I should have stuck my head into scientific textbooks instead of tales of heroism and fantastical ghouls, then I would have never become and wrestler or met the amazing people in my life.
I look back down at the paper and decide to let Roddy have two final full page drawings on the other side of the sketches I've already drawn of him, I add in a small note on the page under a picture of Roddy that Sam had found.
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The more I looked at the drawings and that lone picture, the more I realised the small details of Roddy's features, the strong jaw with a cleft chin, his hazel eyes? or are they dark blue? either way they intrigue me. And that musculature, Roddy's not slim but not a big man either, he's at that almost perfect weight to body fat ratio. Good lord, listen to me calling … Piper, Roddy, Him, perfect. I think I want to be sick, just to be rid of those thoughts.
Right as I run into the small bathroom I hear a commotion in the hallway and someone being thrown or more accurately, hurled into the other side of the bathroom wall. I take a deep breath, re-fix my mask into it's usual position and dart out into the corridor, right as the commotion ends.
The obvious victim of the bout was on the floor face down with a long, not to deep cut down the back of their left leg and was breathing heavily when I reached them.
"Woah, hey, hey buddy." I whispered to them in an effort to calm them.
"Kirby?"
FUCK
That Glaswegian accent, fuck, He's not even supposed to be in town, or is he?
"Piper?!" I whisper-yelled, more to myself than to him.
"Hey…" his voice trailed off, I heaved him over my shoulder and went back into my hotel room, tossing him down on the only bed and grabbing his left foot, reaching over to my suitcase and getting my personal first aid kit, nothing too fancy, some bandages, plasters, the bare essentials. I cleaned the cut and bandaged it, taping the bandage in place.
I glanced up from Roddy's leg and saw that he had passed out, "Shit." I muttered to myself, louder than I thought and his eyes flickered open.
"Kirby? Is that you?" His voice weak but still understandable.
I stood there, frozen to the spot, unable to move, I wanted to cry as I realised how badly he had been beaten up, his eyebrow cut, coming close to his eye, his hairline a mix of matted brown hair and blood that was starting to coagulate and then I started to notice more things wrong with Roddy's visage.
His shirt (a Piper classic, yellow with a wild cat graphic) was torn in several places, showing bruises and nicks in his flesh. His kilt, however, was fully intact, including his belt and sporran, though all of it was scuffed with little scratches, but no cuts.
"Kirby? Kirby talk to me, please?" He spoke so carefully and it broke me.
I dropped to my knees, weeping, and Roddy shot to his feet, before dropping down on his left side and leaning on the bed, getting only a couple of steps closer to me.
"Kirby, are you okay?"
"Roddy, look at ya," I took a deep breath in, "How can you be so beat up and worried about me? How is that possible?"
"Kirby? look at ya, you're crying over me? I thought you didn't care about me that much?"
I wiped the tears from my face and got Roddy back on the bed.
"Stay there, Piper."
"Oh, feisty."
"Roddy! Stay on the bed and don't move."
"Yes Ma'am."
I trudged into the bathroom and ran a long cold shower, and I heard him move off the bed before swearing and sitting back on the bed.
"I thought I said, DON'T MOVE Roddy!"
"Alright, alright. … feisty"
After the shower, I dressed in the bathroom after drying myself off and exited the room. I instantly noticed a sleeping Piper.
"I guess I'll sleep on the floor then."
"C'mere." He lazily waved his arm to try and beckon me over.
"No, Roddy, get some rest."
"Come here and get in the bed." He rolled over and picked up the duvet, lackadaisically blowing a joking kiss in my direction.
"Jesus, Roddy, fine."
I climbed into the bed and felt Roddy's arms curl around my waist and his face between my shoulder blades.
"Rod, get off."
"Wha'?"
"Get off of me."
"Why?"
"Aren't you married, get off."
"if I was married, there would be a ring on my finger," He waved his left hand in front of my face, "No ring, no wife."
"Oh. Still, get off."
"Now, would that be 'get off' in the, leave me alone, way or the 'get off' in the, I love you take me now, way." The latter a clear joke but it annoyed me even more.
"Leave me alone, Roddy."
He slid his arms off and rolled to face the other way.
"Small bed, Kirby."
"I wasn't expecting company, Piper."
"Your tattoos are nice."
"Sleep, Piper."
"I'm just saying."
"Roddy, you are injured, sleep."
"I looked through your sketchbook earlier, y'know, when you were in the shower, just flicked through it, and wow, you're a great artist."
"For the love of God, Roddy! would you please just get some sleep."
"Alright!, alright. No need to yell."
"One more word and I'm chucking you out the nearest window."
We both fell silent and managed to get some sleep, it wasn't until sunrise that either one of us awoke. As I stirred from my slumber I was face to face with the Scottish idiot. I yelped and, without realising his legs were intertwined with mine, fell off the bed with him falling on top of me, waking Roddy up in the process.
"Oh, well, morning sweetheart, did I wake ya."
"Rod, get ya damn 'Loch Ness Monster' away from me."
Rod's cheeks turned pink and he quickly looked down between our bodies before sheepishly standing up and hurrying to the bathroom, I took the chance to change into a graphic tee and some black jeans, not noticing that Piper had left the bathroom door wide open, until I heard his voice.
"Woah, so uh, all of you is bigger than normal?"
I yelped and threw one of my shirts at his face, before realising that I had thrown the shirt I was planning on wearing at him, "Wait, Roddy, I need that shirt."
He laughed before handing me back my shirt, "Uh, thank you … for …saving me last night."
"Were you even supposed to be in town?"
"Well no, but I …" He trailed off
"I can't hear you, Roddy?"
"It's nothing, really."
I continued on with my normal routine, mindful that Roddy was in the same room as me and injured. It wasn't until the phone rang that I had a problem, before I could reach the phone Roddy had already answered it.
"Who is this?"
I could hear a loud, angry voice on the phone and Piper got defensive.
"You think you're a hard man do ya?!"
Damien. That's got to be Damien, which means I am in some real trouble now. Thanks Piper, ya dafty.
"I'll get her to call ya back once you've calmed down."
He slammed the phone back into it's place and breathed out a hefty sigh.
"Kirby, is Damien your boyfriend?" He seemed instantaneously calm
I almost choked on air for a moment, "No! He's my manager, and he's like double my age. He's Vic," I paused for a moment, "He's my dad, as well as the other members of the D.O.D. We're not all his biological daughters though, just Vickie."
"So, he adopted you?"
"I guess you could say that." I avoided looking him in the eyes.
"Tell me the truth. Now!"
"Promise you won't tell anyone first."
"I won't tell a soul, now, why are you so, uptight, about who he is to you."
"First things first, my name isn't Kirby Lucifarian, it's actually Kirby Trevor."
"Oh, so Damien's not you're adoptive father, either?"
"No, my real parents are Heaven and Eric Trevor. Damien's Vickie's dad and only Vickie's dad."
"Are either one of your parents giants? or is it just you?"
"Just me, the closest person to me in height, family-wise was my uncle Rory. He's the reason I have the tattoo on my wrist."
I walked up to Piper and showed him the 'R' tattooed on my right wrist.
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"So, he passed away?"
"Yeah. He died, eleven, no no, twelve years ago now, when I was Seventeen, My uncle Vaughn died a couple months later, he's why I have the lighter on my left arm, my uncle Vaughn was best known for being, in the nicest terms, a layabout smoker, and the smoke took him in the end."
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"So, you have a lighter to remember a man who died by smoking?"
"Dark, I know, but uncle Vaughn would've laughed at it. Erik laughed at it when I explained it to him."
"Eric, your dad?"
"No, no, Erik, with a 'K', my old tag partner before I joined the D.O.D. I think you would've liked him."
"Really, now why would I like a guy I know nothing about?"
"Well, Erik's Scottish, He's from Edinburgh. He's tall-ish, then again I am a giant, so who am I to say what's tall, he's six-foot-five. He played the bagpipes when he was younger, he quit playing when he was twenty-three, same year we lost the tag titles."
"Rough," He interrupted "Continue, please."
"Uh, well. Erik's strong, very strong, he would compete in the Highland games and well, … I guess back then I thought I'd never leave him, until Damien gave me an offer I couldn't refuse and I left him. I had a whole life with him planned inside my head and I left it all behind, for what, cramped hotel rooms and breakfasts with André."
"You had breakfast with André the giant and you didn't tell me … You, You had a good Scottish man, and you left him, for," He gestured to the room, "all this?"
"Well I jus-"
"No," He held my jaw and looked me straight in the eyes, "You had a life, a man who obviously a close relationship with you, and you gave it up for breakfasts with André and shitty hotel rooms."
"I know I'm stupid."
"But you're not stupid, you saved me, I could have died in that hallway and you brought me in here, you stopped that bastard from killing me. I could kiss you."
"Please don't."
Sorry for cliff-hanger ending, but … END OF BLOODY, BEATEN, BRUISED or MAXIMUM EFFORT.
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