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thatfanfictionchick · 1 year

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Roommate Wanted

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[time skip]Kei Tsukishima x f!Reader

Rating: 18+; Explicit

Warnings: oh shit okay Tsukki being a charming ass; Reader gets carried; Brief cameo of a toxic ex boyfriend; Brief description of a toxic relationship; We have to cuddle to stay warm trope; oh shit I forgot Pet names like nobody's business (sweetheart, angel, princess); Vaginal fingering; Unprotected vaginal intercourse; Light choking; Spit kink if you squint and don't blink;

Word count: 10570

Notes: *yeets this bitch like I'm angry* MY GOD TAKE THIS FUCKER OFF MY HANDS HE HAS BEEN TAKING UP SPACE IN MY MIND AND MY DRAFTS FOR WAY TO FUCKING LONG. 10k words might be child's play to some but to me it is HOLY FUCK the longest thing I've ever written. Yes I made him unnecessarily slightly taller than in canon because I can. It's almost 3am just take it and go. There might be fuckups and plot holes but that's your problem now.

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Kei Tsukishima hadn’t been your first choice of roommate.

When you arrived on campus it was only to be told that due to a system glitch you had not been placed in the student housing like you’d anticipated, and every room was full. You had been approved for the part time job you wanted, but it definitely didn’t pay enough to afford a place off campus on your own.

You spent hours in the counselor's office to no avail. Stepping out into a glorious spring afternoon you decided to call your older sister, nearly bursting into tears when she answered the phone. “What am I gonna dooo?!” you wailed, leaning dramatically against a tree lining the walkway after having told her the whole terrible story.

“You know what?” You could hear her tapping thoughtfully on the other end. “If I remember right a friend of mine’s brother is attending there too, and he’s got a place off campus. His roommate moved over the summer so he might need a new one!” There was a brief pause and then “Would...that be okay with you?”

“YES!” you yelled. “As long as he’s not a creep I don’t mind! Just help meee!”

With a hurried goodbye your sister hung up and you wandered campus aimlessly, bouncing nervously on your toes as you walked. You’d never lived with a guy before. You’d stayed the night and long weekends with previous boyfriends, but never anything serious. And when you started to get nervous you tried to remind yourself that, if this were to work out, your sister was friends with his brother, so it wasn’t like just moving in with a total total stranger. You were contemplating lunch when your phone rang, an unfamiliar number popping up on the screen. You nearly dropped it in your haste to answer.

“Hello?”

“Hey! This is Akiteru. Your sister tells me you’re in need of a place to stay?” His voice sounded familiar. You know you’ve seen this guy before, but you can’t quite remember his face.

“I am!”

“Cool.” he said. “My brother has a room at his place, it’s about a ten minute walk from the school. He’s home now, if you want to go check it out.”

You were nearly vibrating with anticipation as Akiteru promised to send the address and let his brother know you were coming. Everything was going fine until just before he hung up. “Don’t let Kei’s rudeness put you off, he’s actually got a heart of gold in there somewhere.” Akiteru said with a laugh. “Good luck!” You stared at your phone, the dial tone still ringing in your ears.

“I guess rude is better than creepy, right?” you muttered to yourself.

The walk was pleasant, taking you past a convenience store and a small coffee shop, through a vibrant neighborhood to a three story apartment building. The apartment was on the top floor and next to the street, so it was easy to find. You knew you were fidgeting as you knocked on the door and took a deep breath, letting it out in a forceful huff. A moment later the door swung open, and you were very sure your mouth briefly fell open before you managed to snap it shut.

Tall. Taaaalll. You forced yourself to look away from the long limbs, eyes flicking over the lean torso to land on the passive face looking down at you. “Hi,” you breathed rather stupidly. The goldenrod eyes narrowed ever so slightly behind the half rim glasses as he cocked one brow and you cleared your throat to try again. “Tsukishima, right? Your brother-”

“You’re here for the room.” He stepped back and gestured for you to come in, closing the door behind you while you took your shoes off. There was no emotion in his voice to indicate how he felt about your arrival. You’d be lying if you didn’t admit you thought he was intimidating right off the bat. He didn’t say anything as he led you through the living room and you took the opportunity to survey the neat simple furniture. The TV was on the large side, which was nice. The living room opened up into a small kitchen and dining area and from there was a single hallway. There were four doors; the farthest on the left and the one at the end of the hall were closed, the one on the right was a bathroom, the open one on the left was the bedroom. It was a little on the smaller side with a plain wooden dresser and a simple white bed frame with a bare mattress.

"If you want a new mattress you'll have to buy it yourself." He leaned against the door frame and folded his arms across his chest. His glasses glinted in the light and you were distinctly reminded of an anime villain.

"That's fine." You stepped into the room and opened the closet. It was tiny, but you weren't in the position to be picky. "How much?"

"32000¥ plus your share of utilities. You're responsible for your own food. The laundry is on the ground floor." He was talking like you'd already agreed to move in. Well he wasn't exactly wrong, it wasn't like you had any other choice at this point. Your eyes flickered over his face again. His blond curls could almost fool you into thinking he had an angelic nature.

"Kay, I'm in." You threaded your fingers together behind your back and stepped closer to him. "What are the rules?"

"Easy." Hands in his pockets he stepped closer too, forcing you to look up at him. "Leave me alone, don't make a lot of noise, clean up after yourself, and don't fuck anyone on my couch."

You were so caught up in thinking about how rude rule #1 was it took you a moment to process rule #4. "Excuse me?!" you choked. "On your...has that been a regular problem for you?"

“Only if I make it one.” The words spoken in his deadpan tone nearly had you wheezing. Then you spotted the way his lips curled the smallest bit at the corner and your eyes narrowed. Was this lanky fucker really taking shots at you like this before you’d even moved in?

You returned his miniscule smirk with one of your own. “I don’t know that I like you, Kei Tsukishima.”

“Good.” His smile broadened. “Where did you leave your stuff?”

It was as if a bolt of lightning had struck you and your eyes unfocused as you tried to wrestle with the blossoming realization of your inattentiveness. “I...left it at the school.” Tsukishima laughed and turned on his heel to walk away.

“You have fun with that.”

Rude didn’t begin to cover it. Tsukishima Kei was a certified Grade A asshole.

〖✰〗

Between school, homework, work, and reconnecting with friends you didn’t see Tsukki again for several weeks. If it weren’t for the revolving food that you saw in the fridge and the occasional piece of mail he left on the table you wouldn’t even be sure he actually shared the same living space.

It was the first weekend in March when you finally decided to make actual use of the living room instead of going out with friends or losing yourself at the library. After a long bath you dressed in loose sweatpants and a tank top and turned on the TV. Tsukki was apparently subscribed to several streaming services, but what caught your eye was the name of the DVD currently inserted: Jurassic Park.

“Poggers,” you muttered excitedly as you pushed play. Hurrying to your room for a blanket you then ducked into the pantry to grab a white peach castella cake you’d picked up at the convenience store a few days ago and hadn’t had time to eat. It was your favorite and you were always on the lookout for them. However you were so quickly absorbed in the movie that you’d hardly touched it when, as the T-Rex savaged one unfortunate bloodsucking lawyer, the front door opened. You didn’t look away from the screen, instead catching sight of the tall frame of your roommate from your peripheral as he took off his shoes and hung up his jacket.

“Hi, Tsukki.” You were so focused on the carnage that you didn’t realize you had called him the name you reserved in your head. He paused, lips pressing together like he wasn’t sure whether to correct you or not before deciding to let it go, just this once.

Momentarily forgetting who you were living with you weren’t surprised when he joined you, sitting on the opposite end of the couch and resting one long leg on the coffee table. He eyed the cake in your hands, wondering if he should chastise you for eating on the couch. “What is that?”

“Peach castella.” Out of habit, as if he actually were your friend, you offered him the quarter eaten cake. “Want some?”

“No.” He didn’t even try to conceal the disgust in his tone.

"Rude!" But he noticed the way your lips curled as you lifted it to your mouth. "Girls don't actually have cooties, ya know." you chided playfully a minute later.

"With you I'd rather not take my chances."

"Dick!" You burst into laughter and the sneer on his face only widened when you snorted, nearly choking on your own saliva.

Tsukki was absolutely the meanest-for-no-reason person you'd ever met, and you'd only had all of two brief conversations with him. But he also radiated some kind of ridiculous charisma, and after you settled back down, making a vulgar gesture in the process which he pretended not to notice, the silence that fell between you was comfortable. Even after being insulted, something about his presence had a relaxing effect on you.

"I don't like peach cake." He said abruptly 20 minutes later. It took you a moment to realize he'd actually spoken. He was relaxed into the couch, his jaw propped on his fist as his gaze remained on the television. His profile looked soft in the afternoon light through the gauzy curtains.

"What kind do you like?" you asked.

Tsukki was chewing his tongue. He honestly wasn't sure why he'd suddenly volunteered that tidbit and he didn't want to offer you any more information about himself. He didn't need more people involved with his life. "None of your business."

"Tsukishima!" He was caught off guard by your sharp tone, turning curious amber eyes on you. "C’mon, man." You looked half amused, half exasperated. "I've been a good, quiet, clean roommate. I haven't even fucked myself on your couch." His eyebrows lifted but you ignored it. "I don't think asking what kind of cake you like is overstepping."

He didn't say anything. Instead he stared at you, his eyes hard and searching. Like he was actually looking at you for the first time. He didn’t answer, just turned his attention back to the movie and you followed suit. You were curious but weren’t willing to pry. If he wanted to maintain a hard wall then you’d just get used to it. The silence remained until the end of the movie when you stretched widely as the end credits began to roll.

“Such a good movie!” you exclaimed. “We totally need the rest.”

“I have the rest.” Tsukki mumbled. Your head snapped in his direction, your eyes wide.

“Can we watch them?” There was such juvenile excitement in your voice and when he looked over the sparkle in your eyes made his ears feel hot.

“We?” he said haughtily.

“You got anything better to do today?”

He huffed and rolled his eyes, looking surprisingly elegant given his mile long limbs as he stood up and walked away without a backwards glance. You shook your head watching him go, assuming this was his way of dismissing you. With a sigh you sagged onto the couch, grabbing your phone to scroll through Twitter for a bit when suddenly Tsukki came back, a large dinosaur emblazoned box in his hand. It was one of those fancy box sets, the metal of the box glinting in the light. Your mouth formed a small ‘o’ before breaking into a grin as he knelt in front of the entertainment center, his long fingers carefully changing the discs in the blu-ray player. You fluffed the decorative pillow and snuggled into the corner of the couch as he rejoined you, your glee unrestrained as he started the second movie, this time kicking both legs over the coffee table.

But Tsukki had one more surprise in store for you. As the opening scene played out, the low tone of his voice caught your attention once more. “It’s strawberry shortcake.” You turned wide eyes on him but he refused to look away from the screen. “My favorite cake.” he clarified after a moment. A small smile softened your eyes.

“Was that so hard?” you cooed.

“Shut up.”

〖✰〗

A few days later Tsukki, having picked up dinner after volleyball practice, went to put the leftovers in the fridge and was surprised to see a whole strawberry shortcake on his shelf. There was a small note taped to the lid:

For Saltyshima

(Don't get all bigheaded it was on sale)

A smile tugged at his lips. You were such a pain in the ass, he thought. Why you wanted to try so hard to be friendly he didn't understand. So bothersome, just like the others in his life.

Two days after that you came home in a terrible mood. You'd been late to your first class, you'd rolled your ankle when you slipped on some stairs, you'd forgotten your wallet so you hadn't been able to buy lunch, and to top it all off it had started to rain on your way home. All you wanted was to take a long hot bath and maybe cry, you weren’t quite set on that yet. Slouching into the pantry to grab a quick bite you were surprised to find a small stack of peach cakes in the basket that housed your assorted snacks. They definitely had not been there the day before. There was a post-it note stuck to the top, Tsukki’s small neat writing gracing the paper.

Who needs a sale when you’re this cheap.

You snorted and started giggling, which quickly turned to full on gut-busting laughter. Leave it to Tsukki to be salty as hell even when doing something nice.

〖✰〗

You discovered Tsukki’s “secret” by accident. You decided to cut through the gym building one day on your way to meet a friend for a study date, the sharp squeal of rubber on the gleaming flooring and the occasional loud smack of something hitting the ground with force drawing you the opposite direction down the hall to see what was going on. You peeked around the door, head tilted at the chaotic scene of moving bodies. They all moved so fast, a sort of grace to the sheer force of their actions. Your eyes ping-ponged around the room, trying to get a good look at the blur of faces to see if you recognized any of them. And then a face wearing a pair of athletic goggles caught your attention, and you felt the momentary slack of your jaw.

“Tsukki?!” Those mile long arms and distractingly large hands were doing one hell of a job blocking the ball, and without a second thought you dashed down the hall to the door for the stairs leading up to the gym seating. Trying not to trip you pulled out your phone and texted your friend, telling her to come meet you a.s.a.p. There was a scattered crowd watching the practice and you picked a seat right at the front, leaning forward on your knees to watch intensely. So this is why Tsukki was almost never home, you realized. He was practicing. You barely noticed when your friend slid into the seat next to you.

“I didn’t know you like volleyball?” she said.

“I didn’t know Tsukki was on the team.” You looked over in time to see her brows pinch together.

“Tsukishima?” she asked, confused.

“Uh, yeah?” You tilted your head at her. “My roommate Tsukishima?”

Her eyes opened wide and she grabbed your knee. “Your roommate is the Kei Tsukishima?!”

You made a face and threw your hands in the air. “Girl how many Kei Tsukishima’s do you think are wandering around this school!”

A rise in yelling from the court had you looking back down just in time to see Tsukki spike the ball over the net, the force of it hitting the ground like a small explosion. Before you could stop yourself you’d jumped to your feet, throwing your arms in the air and yelling “Hell yeah Tsukishima!” His entire being physically convulsed as he reeled around, eyes swiping across the seats before landing on you.

“What the hell are you doing here?” he yelled, looking as ruffled as you’d ever seen him. His already curly hair was downright unruly, a bead of sweat dripping off his chin. He grabbed the bottom of his shirt and lifted it to wipe his face and against any measure of decorum your eyes went straight to the distinct lines of his abs. You immediately righted them to his face but it seemed the damage was done and he was smirking at you in an infuriatingly knowing way.

“That your girlfriend, Tsooks?” Another blond called. His bangs were a dark brown in comparison.

“Absolutely not.” Tsukki yelled back, his eyes still watching you intensely. You dramatically wilted and pressed your hand to your chest.

“Kei! I thought our love meant more to you than that!”

“Do not call me Kei.” His voice was flat but there was an unmistakable perk at the corner of his mouth. You rolled your eyes and made a shooing motion with your hand, causing laughter from his teammates as you plunked back in your seat.

Unfortunately for Tsukki, you were so taken (by the sport, you insisted) that you started showing up several times a week to watch them practice, and it became increasingly bothersome for him to deal with his teammates heckling. Thankfully you always ducked out just before they finished though, and for the time being none of the other team members had figured out that you were his roommate. At the very least he was spared that teasing.

〖✰〗

You didn’t show up to watch them practice and Tsukki was annoyed to find he wanted to know why. When he unlocked the door of the apartment, the first thing he heard was an annoyed growl and you cursing angrily. He took his time taking off his shoes and hanging his jacket on the hook by the door before looking around the corner. You were sitting at the small kitchen table, your laptop open in front of you. Your fingers were buried in your hair and your back curled dramatically over the top of the chair.

“What’s the matter?”

“I don’t know what I’m doing wrong!” you whined. “And if I fail this midterm there is a very real chance my teacher will throw a chair at my face!”

“Drama queen.” Tsukki sneered. You glared at him upside down before sitting up, stretching your arms over your head and resuming a furious search of the class materials. You were vaguely aware of his approach behind you. Suddenly, without warning, one long arm reached in front of you and you jerked back, your head hitting his abdomen. He didn’t even wait for you to move your hand, his fingers nearly tangling with yours as they moved lazily over the trackpad.

“You're using the wrong formula for these questions.” He bent down but leaned the opposite way, effectively caging you against the table in his arms. His voice was low and so close to your ear that goosebumps erupted down your neck and arm. He tapped on the trackpad several times. "See?"

"Uh huh." You weren't looking at the screen. You'd never seen his hands this close up before. His fingers were so long and graceful. His palms were wide and could easily fully cover your own. Even his nails were short, smooth, and carefully shaped. They were pretty.

"Come here." He pulled away and started down the hall. He’d never asked you to follow him before and you hurried behind him. You’d never seen inside the other two rooms before either so when Tsukki opened the door on the left your eyes opened wide as saucers.

It was a little study room. One wall was nothing but bookshelves, stuffed full. A few shelves had books stacked two deep. On the opposite side was a small desk with a laptop and a stack of notebooks and a high backed office chair. Three sleek curio cabinets stood against the wall, a seemingly random assortment of objects on the spotless shelves. There were slices of agate and broken geodes, flora pressed between thin pieces of plastic, various insects carefully pinned to small boards, what appeared to be rough gemstones and a hundred other things you would need a lot more time to properly recognize.

“This is so cool!” Hands pressed between your knees, you bent forward to look at the cabinets closer. What looked like a two headed rodent was suspended in yellowish fluid in a glass jar. “Do you just like collecting this kind of stuff?”

There was a momentary pause and since you were looking at the shelves you didn’t see the uncharacteristic way Tsukki’s eyes softened or the genuine smile that crossed his face. You looked absolutely precious surveying his humble collection with big eyes brimming with so much curiosity. “Next year, after graduation, I’m going to work at the Sendai City Museum.”

“That’s really cool, Tsukki.” You stood in time to see him grab a worn and faded notebook off his desk. He held it out to you, his face back to smooth and passive. Brows furrowed you took it and rifled through the pages, glancing over them before realization dawned as you looked over the same formulas that were confusing you easily broken down on the pages.

“You can borrow this.” Tsukki said. “Since you clearly need the help.”

You scowled but chose not to make a snarky comment since this was by far the nicest thing he’d done for you since you’d met him. “You’re so smart, why don’t you just help me with the homework?”

He smirked. “Not a chance. Figure it out yourself.”

〖✰〗

You were supposed to be eating. But Tsukki was sitting across the table from you and you kept finding yourself staring at him instead. Finally he’d had enough, his spoon clattering against the bottom of his bowl. “What’s your problem?”

Without answering you reached across the table, taking his hands in your own and pulling them toward you. His eyebrows practically disappeared into his hairline but he didn’t pull away, mostly because he was too surprised to.

You turned his hands over, brow furrowed as you critically eyed his fingers. “Is your pinky crooked?”

“Ah.” He drew away and fanned his right hand out between the two of you. It was subtle but if you looked you could see that his right pinky was definitely crooked. “Noticed that huh?”

“What happened?”

“Spring high preliminary my first year of high school. It was dislocated so they taped it to my ring finger so I could keep playing.”

You hummed thoughtfully. “Aaand I take it it didn’t just stay ‘dislocated’.”

His smile was lopsided and adorable. “C’mon, you’ve seen us play. Not exactly gentle is it.”

“You’re crazy. That had to hurt like mad.” You shook your head and picked up your bowl, slurping at a coiled noodle. Tsukki shrugged and went back to fishing bits of carrot out of his soup.

“We won. That’s all that matters.”

〖✰〗

The fact that it was autumn and therefore colder at night was not going to stop you going out with your friends.

“Really?” Tsukki looked you over from his spot at the table as you emerged from your room, his brows drawn together in a look of dissatisfaction. Even if you caught him he’d never admit he watched you, in your tiny strapless dress and spiked high heels, as you crossed the living room to grab the purse you’d left on the couch. The way the fabric clung to your ass was...distracting. “You know it’s supposed to rain tonight.”

“Yes dad." you huffed. "But we'll be inside, that's the outside's problem." You were going to be in the club, what did it matter to you if there was a little bit of rain?

Annoyingly, predictably, that “little bit of rain” was a positive downpour. Which would have been fine, if not for you and your friends drunkenly deciding that embracing your inner child and playing in the rain, in the almost freezing temperatures in the middle of the night, would be a great idea. You were shivering and frozen to the bone by the time you got home, only taking the time to change into your pajamas before collapsing in bed, wet hair and all.

You spent the next day in bed and come nightfall you felt the very tell-tale settling of pain in your limbs that could only mean one thing.

The morning after you barely managed to get out of bed, shuffling into the kitchen and practically hanging off the fridge door, staring blankly at the food within. You didn’t even notice your roommate coming up next to you.

“You look like shit.” Ugh. The last thing you wanted was to deal with Tsukki being a smug mean asshole.

“Nobody asked-” the rest of your sentence trailed off as the world shifted dramatically. Tsukki caught you as your legs buckled. Your unfocused eyes fluttered and even through your feverish haze you couldn’t help but think about how pretty he was up close.

“I told you.” His voice was soft, equally concerned and exasperated. You only groaned in response, grabbing his shirt when he lifted you bridal style against his chest and carried you back to your bed. Okay, maybe he set you down a little firmer than necessary, but it was the thought that counted. You shivered and curled in on yourself as he set to untwisting your tangled bedspread. He spread it over you, tucking it gently around the edges and you mumbled something that may have been a ‘thank you’ but not even you were sure.

Your eyes drifted closed and you were ready to sleep for a fortnight but then something cool was poking your cheek. Tsukki’s finger dragged along the skin and he simply commanded: “Open.” Too tired to fuss you did as he said, opening your mouth trustingly. You grimaced as the bitter taste of medicine spread across your tongue. Swallowing felt like hell, all fiery pins and needles. He laughed softly at the way your nose scrunched.

By the time he came back with a wet washcloth in hand you were fast asleep. Shaking his head he adjusted your hair the best he could to lay it across your forehead. You grumbled, your head briefly turning to press your cheek against his palm.

〖✰〗

It was finally winter break and you were looking forward to some much needed time to rest. You had driven Tsukki mad by putting up holiday decorations everywhere, including colored strands of lights over every window and doorway. A candy cane composed of bells hung on the knob of the front door and while you adored the jingling, Tsukki was about ready to throw the abomination down the stairs.

By now Tsukki had taken to leaving the door to his study room open on account of how often you would pop your head in to ask him a question or just lie on the floor and scroll on your phone. You could hear the sound of his music floating down the hall from your prone position on the couch as you watched TV. An emergency alert came on and you watched intently before rolling off the couch and jogging down the hall calling “Tsukkiii!”

“Yeah?” He didn’t look up. He was building some kind of model, a long pair of tweezers manipulating a thin piece of string. You stepped closer to watch, momentarily forgetting why you’d come to him in the first place. It wasn’t until he paused and looked at you that you spoke.

“Right, sorry. There’s supposed to be a huge storm coming this weekend. They’re saying like a foot of snow. I’m gonna go to the store and get some things, do you want to come?”

“Sure.” He finished setting the string and got his work to a good stopping point. When he stood up he stretched and his fingers brushed the ceiling. You were very aware of the way you swallowed as your eyes followed the line of his arms down to shoulders, your gaze lingering on the exposed strip of stomach from where his shirt rode up. He was surprised when you suddenly turned on your heel and sped out of the room but shrugged it off and followed. You were strange enough without trying to make sense of it.

You were putting your boots on when he reached around you for his coat. You lost your balance and yelped in surprise and he grabbed you, his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his chest. You laughed, a little embarrassed, and quickly righted yourself stammering “thanks”.

Outside was cold and your breath rose in little clouds as the two of you walked to the bus stop. There had been a small storm the day before and the ground was still covered in icy patches. You hopped on them, laughing at the little slide you would get out of each one. Tsukki rolled his eyes, but a smile tugged at his lips all the same. You were nearly at the stop when you jumped on a long thin patch of ice and you would have been fine if your boot hadn’t caught on dry concrete. You pitched forward with a shriek and suddenly the whole world rolled around you as Tsukki grabbed you. Unfortunately you had too much momentum and the best he could do was slow your fall, putting you down as gently as possible while bracing himself to keep from squishing you. You looked at him with wide eyes, shocked to see how close he was. All you needed to do was lift your head an inch or so and you could be kissing him. You quickly banished the thought from your mind before dissolving into nervous giggles. “Uh, thanks.”

“Are you trying to kill me?” he grumped, picking himself up and dusting the grit off his gloves before offering you his hand and pulling you to your feet.

“Kill off the best roommate I’ve ever had? Perish the thought, dear one!” You dramatically tossed your hand in the air and he shook his head, laughing. “But no seriously thanks for saving my ass.”

“Guess it was the least I could do for the most tolerable roommate I’ve ever had,” he said. You shot him a look of disbelief that made him laugh again.

“Tolerable?!” you wailed. “I don’t get to be the cutest? Or the nicest? Or even the cleanest?!”

He didn’t reply, because as he looked down the street he saw that the bus was approaching and grabbed her hand to pull you along before it passed by. He kept hold of it even as you both tapped your phones to pay the fare and only let go once he’d slid into the seat after you.

“Okay,” he said after a minute. “Second cutest.”

“You know what?” you said. “With how difficult you are, I’ll take it.”

Fortunately the small market wasn't far and the bus stopped right out front. As you went to step off the bus Tsukki offered you his hand. "I don't have it in me to take another fall for you." You laughed and accepted, holding his hand all the way to the front door. You both removed your hats, gloves, and scarves, and while Tsukki only unzipped his coat you took yours off and draped it over the side of the cart. “So what are we getting?”

“This, definitely.” You grabbed a case of water from the stack by the door and hefted it into the cart. Tsukki groaned with disappointment; he knew he was going to be the one who had to carry it home. You stuck your tongue out and continued. “I don’t think we need a lot, okay? We’ve got a lot in the pantry. Water, maybe some of the self heating meals. Oh, we should grab some baby wipes too.”

“Ha?” Tsukki stopped mid step. You stopped too, looking up at him in confusion. His eyes flickered to your belly and back. “Uh, something you wanna share with the class?”

Your hands flew to your mouth to stifle your burst of laughter. “Oh my god, you idiot!” Your shoulders shook and your face was on fire. “No no noooo oh my god!” You wiped a tear from your eye and leaned into his side. “It’s just if we can’t take a shower, okay?! They’re way cheaper than those stupid shower wipes. And you get way more.”

Truth be told he felt stupid immediately after saying it. He wasn’t even quite sure why you saying ‘baby’ caught him so off guard. “As long as I’m not expected to take on any sort of parenting duties.”

You looked at him, your eyes narrowed with mischief. “Liar. I’ll bet you like being called Daddy.” He shoved you with his elbow and you burst into another round of maniacal laughter. “Okay, okay, you go get the food, I’ll get the wipes and meet you by the register.” He walked away shaking his head and you nearly skipped to the baby aisle while humming.

You made it to the front first. In your arms were two packages of wipes, a handful of candy bars, some canned coffees, and two warm sesame balls. Given that you had wandered to so many different places you were surprised you beat him. You turned your head, wondering where he could be, when an unwelcome face came into view.

Chikao was the last boyfriend you’d had, a few months before school started. He was attractive enough, and funny and charming at first. But the closer the start of the semester came the more sullen and aggressive his personality became. He didn’t understand why you’d want to leave him. He complained that obviously your relationship was just a fling because he certainly wouldn’t go so far away if you’d said no (these complaints were doubled because you’d not slept with him no matter how much he pushed). Eventually his little jabs led to an argument where he said it’s not like you needed to go to school anyway, you might get a degree but it wasn’t like you were actually smart enough to do anything with it. That was the last time you’d seen him, simultaneously telling you to accept the truth and begging you not to leave because he loved you. He was lucky you hadn’t broken his nose. His behavior was so despicable that it was largely the reason you had refused to date or entertain anyone since. Also, though you didn’t like admitting it, you were embarrassed. In retrospect it was easy to see how toxic the relationship had quickly become, but you had been so charmed by his handsome face and sweet love bombing that you’d blinded yourself to what kind of person he really was.

You hoped to walk away quickly before he noticed you, but no such luck. He spotted you immediately and made his way over, that fake smile on his face. “Well look who it is!”

You had to force the words out. “What are you doing here?”

He ignored the ice in your tone. “Oh, just here to meet a girl.” He watched you like a hawk, sizing up your reaction. You hummed vaguely and he continued. “Look, I know the last time we saw each other didn’t go well, but I really only have your best interest in mind, you know?” Mistaking your continued silence for interest he lowered his voice and continued. “I forgave you for leaving ages ago. I have a room downtown for the weekend, come over and we can talk things out.”

Making a scene or not, you were ready to tell him exactly where he could stick his room when an arm wrapped around you, pulling you into the warmth of a familiar lean body. “Everything okay, angel?”

You positively melted with relief into Tsukki’s side. His coat had lifted your sweater and he had grabbed the exposed skin near your hip. Instead of fixing it he took advantage of the opening, letting his fingers slide further under the fabric to rub circles on your skin. Goosebumps raced down your leg and your entire back tingled from the contact. “Yeah,” you responded breathlessly. “Just fine.”

Across from you Chikao’s face had twisted into something more befitting of his personality. You braced yourself but the diatribe you expected didn’t come; instead he seemed to chew on his bottom lip before uttering an angry “oh”, his eyes flickering from Tsukki’s face to the floor and back again. You turned your head, wondering what could be giving him such pause and - oh, indeed.

It wasn’t a smile, exactly. But it wasn’t really a scowl or glare. It was, most importantly, unnerving. It was easy to imagine that some great bird of prey might have a similar look on its face as it dropped from the sky onto some poor small stupid animal. And as if the murderous look on his face wasn’t enough, the fact that Tsukki stood at least a foot taller than both you and your ex-boyfriend only made him that much more frightening in the current situation. A shiver ran down your spine. Chikao muttered something about being late and turned sharply before fleeing the store. Clouds were gathering outside, darkening the sky. You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding that trailed off into a suspiciously disappointed sounding sigh as Tsukki removed his arm from your waist while you dumped the contents in your arms into the cart.

“Thank you.” You smiled up at him, your hand resting on his arm for a moment.

“Who was that?” Tsukki asked. When he’d come walking to the front of the store he’d seen you standing there, your entire body shrunk inward as someone with one of the most unpleasant faces he’d ever seen loomed over you.

You gave him the spark notes version of your relationship with Chikao, your eyes on the floor the whole time. When you finished Tsukki didn’t say anything so you looked up only to find his face was turned away from you. After a minute he finally met your gaze and then abruptly put his hand on the top of your head, ruffling your hair. You squealed with laughter and tried to duck away but he caught you, pulling you into a one armed hug. You immediately gave up trying to escape. You told yourself it definitely wasn’t because you needed the sudden closeness. You were fine. His hand was on the back of your head and you felt the rumble in his chest when he spoke. “You’re okay.”

You weren’t sure if he was saying you were okay in general, like as a person, or if he was offering you some kind of reassurance after what had just happened. Regardless, you were just as surprised as he was when you grabbed him around the waist, pressing your face into his chest to stifle your sudden sobbing.

〖✰〗

The next night you woke with a start. You laid there in the dark, wondering what could have woken you so abruptly when you realized you were cold. Not just cold, freezing. Your fingers and toes and nose actually ached, your ears uncomfortably numb. Groping for your phone you flinched when you grabbed it, the cold of the case biting against your palm. It was 2am.

Locating your slippers you shuffled to the window, vigorously rubbing your arms. You blinked rapidly before realizing it wasn’t your vision that was blurry; snow was falling outside. Thick and heavy, it looked like it had already accumulated into several inches. There were no other lights on. Slipping your phone into your pocket to keep it from freezing you shambled down the hall to Tsukki’s room, knocking on the door. You heard him groan, then curse, then the sound of his feet on the floor before the door opened.

“Th-the power’s out,” you stuttered.

He rubbed his face. “Clearly.”

“Let me come sleep with you.”

Even in the gloom you could see his eyes widen. “What? No.”

“Oh come on,” you whined. “It’s f-freezing!”

“So get some more blankets.” His response lost all its bite when he shivered.

“You’re cold too!” you said. “Come on, for real, a person could freeze to death.”

He shivered again. “Pretty sure I’d be fine.”

You hissed and stomped your foot. “A frozen roommate can’t pay rent, Tsukishima!”

His head fell back with a long groan but he stepped aside and opened the door for you. “Fine, you win. Come on.”

You practically dove into his bed. Your doorway conversation had barely lasted a minute but that was all it took for the cold to sap whatever heat he’d left behind and you whimpered, bundling his blankets up to your nose. They smelled like he did, like rain water and grass, and you inhaled it deeply. Tsukki closed the door, rummaged in his closet for another blanket to throw over the bed, then crawled in behind you. You expected that he would just lie next to you so you were quite surprised when he grabbed you around the waist and dragged you against him as the little spoon. You shrieked when he buried his frozen nose in the back of your neck and he shushed you. “Be quiet or I’ll throw you out.”

“Monster!” you hissed, snuggling as close to him as you could anyways.

“We tell no one about this,” he warned. You could feel his lips against your skin and it was distracting to say the least.

You snickered. “Not even Kanji?” you teased, thinking of his adorably loud and nosey teammate. He huffed and buried his face deeper into the curve of your neck and for just a second you thought he might bite you. Then suddenly his fingers dug into your ribs, tickling you, and you screeched with laughter.

“Especially Koganegawa.”

With another threat to keep quiet ("you were tickling me!") you fell quiet and tried to get back to sleep. Despite his stoicism Tsukki was shivering just as much as you and was pressed as close to you as possible. Even his lanky legs were folded up behind yours. It took a few minutes but eventually the two of you made enough body heat to warm the little pocket under the blanket and you stopped shivering. Eyelids too heavy to keep open, you felt along his arm for his hand muttering “thanks, Tsukki.”

You must have been more tired than you thought because just before you fell back to sleep you could have sworn you heard him whisper “anything for you.” But that couldn’t be right, because there was no way he’d say something like that.

Come the next morning you’d forgotten. Hell, when you woke up it took you a minute just to remember where you were. The arm around your waist and the very present stiffness against your ass nearly had you hurtling out of bed. Then the cold hit you, and you realized that through the slivers in the blinds you could still see snow falling, and you relaxed with a small sigh. It was Tsukki, and that was okay.

Wait.

Tsukki moved, his hips rolling against you.

Holy mother of - ! You swallowed the noise that tried to escape your throat and your face was on fire. Okay this is normal you told yourself. Don’t make it weird. But his morning wood was all you could think about. Should you get up before he did? Should you pretend to be asleep until he got up so that he didn’t know you had laid there in bed kinda sorta secretly enjoying the feel of his hard-NO STOP IT! Fortunately for both your heart and your mental health that’s when Tsukki chose to wake up, groaning as he rolled away and tried to stretch the cold-induced stiffness from his limbs. He got up and shuffled away to the bathroom (you presumed) and after a minute you groped around in your pants to get your phone out of the pocket. Your social media was filled with your friends freaking out about the power outages and news alerts on how to take care in such a dangerous situation. You kept glancing at the window, wondering how much snow was actually out there.

When Tsukki came back you were standing in front of the window with the blinds pulled open. You looked at him and simply said “that’s a lot.” He joined you, his mouth momentarily dropping open in surprise. Everything outside was smooth and white, still-falling snow sparkling against the backdrop of the gray sky. The snow drifts across the street were so deep that they completely covered the windows of the bottom floor apartments. Still, the scene was beautiful in its own way. Eyes roving the white hills you said “I don’t think we’re getting out for a while.”

Tsukki looked at you out of the corner of his eye. You were so enthralled with the winter wonderland outside. “Could be worse things.”

You declared yourself a temporary-permanent member of his room and ran to grab your pillows and blankets, ignoring his protests. Just after 11am the power came back on and you seized the opportunity to charge your phone, take a hot shower, and make a hot meal, the two of you cradling steaming bowls side by side in his bed. Just before 2pm the power went out again and from the looks of the alerts you were getting it would be out until the next morning. The two of you spent most of the day in his bed having reached a silent truce as you cuddled and played on your phones.

You let Tsukki use the bathroom to get ready for bed first, unwilling to leave the cocoon you had made in his bed. He locked the door behind him but left the light off. Thumbs slipping into the elastic of the pajama pants he hadn’t bothered to change out of he slid them part of the way down his thighs, freeing the cock that had remained more or less erect for most of the day. He wrapped his hand around the base and stroked, lips pursed tightly to keep from making any noise. It really sucked being snowed in. Usually when he couldn’t stop thinking about what you’d look like with his cock buried inside you he could just leave, but that wasn’t an option now. The thought of what noises you’d make folded up beneath him were becoming entirely too intrusive.

As the sun had gone down the room had gotten progressively colder and even wrapped up with Tsukki under a small mountain of blankets could hardly warm you. “This sucks,” you whined. “How am I still this cold?!” You tried to scooch closer to Tsukki but there was simply no more contact that could possibly be made. He grunted as you tried to pull his arm tighter around yourself.

“We literally cannot be any closer,” he groused. “The only possible thing we could do at this point is get naked.” You froze in your attempts to cover yourself with him, pretty sure that he heard you audibly swallow at his words. That…was a thing, right? Like, it was legitimate advice offered to those in, uh, similar situations. You tried not to think about his erection pressing into that morning. No, it would be fine and totally not weird. It was survival, that was all. Imagine Tsukki’s surprise when you suddenly started squirming, grappling with your shirt. “What are you doing?!” He leaned away, momentarily thankful that without his glasses he couldn’t see clearly.

“Just shut up and take your shirt off,” you hissed, your face burning with embarrassment.

“You’re not serious.”

“I don’t want to freeze all night, alright?” You shoved your shirt under the blankets to keep it warmish and folded your arms over your chest, facing firmly away from him. “Just…hurry up!” Speechless, Tsukishima did as bid, also shoving his shirt somewhere under the blankets behind him. But when he resumed his position behind you it was with an obvious gap between your torso and his. “Oh don’t be a chicken,” you said when you realized he intended to stay that way.

There was a long pause before he replied, his voice softer and somehow disarming. It was like he was measuring his words carefully before speaking them. Unbeknownst to you Tsukki was carefully laying the path to an end goal he had been eyeing for some time. “I’m the chicken?” he taunted. “I said the only thing left was to get naked, and here you are too scared to go all in. But I’m the chicken?”

“I’m not scared!” you blustered. “I’m - it’s just…” you trailed off and Tsukki waited for you to continue.

“A chicken,” he said decisively when you failed to do so.

Well. You weren’t about to take that lying down (actually you kind of were, since you were literally lying down, but that was beside the point). With an offended huff you shimmied out of your flannel pants, leaving them wadded up at your feet. “Fine.” You shivered. “There. Happy?”

He was. Delighted, actually. Lying on his back so as to not touch you until he was ready he slipped off his own pants, his cock already half hard. He was careful when he resumed his previous position, taking care that no part of him touched you. Then, before you could complain again, he slowly slid his hand along your back to rest at the curve of your waist.

You were shivering like mad. You had 100% let your pride take the reins and now here you were, naked, in Tsukki’s bed, with him, who was now also naked. Then he touched you, his hand resting heavily on your waist and it was all you could think about, the entirety of your existence focused on that point of contact. He laughed quietly. “I didn’t think you’d actually do it.”

“Excuse you!” You were definitely feeling warmer now for very different reasons. Unfortunately that’s where your brain stalled out, failing to come up with any kind of clever comeback. He snickered and it made you pout.

“Well you got me naked, princess,” he teased. “Now what?”

You squawked in a rather unbecoming way. “It - this was your idea!”

His hand was dragging most distractingly over your waist and down to your hip. “All I did was point out that we couldn’t get any closer.” His fingers traced the dip of your pelvic bone. “You’re the one who started taking clothes off.”

“That is such a lie, Tsukki!” It wasn’t, not entirely, but you didn’t want to admit he was right.

He shifted, his shoulder touching yours. His breath warmed your skin as he leaned close. “A little too eager to get me out of my pants weren’t you?”

You made a small noise in the back of your throat. “You…” you faltered, struggling to find the words. “You are the worst kind of tease, Tsukishima.”

"You know that's not my name." His voice, suddenly low and rough, so unlike its usual smooth self, had you clenching desperately on nothing.

"You...never want me to use your name." Your voice shook. It was no surprise really, you were trembling like a dry leaf caught in a bitter autumn wind and for once not because of the pervasive cold. His hand was rubbing ever so slowly along your hip, the tickling sensation of his fingertips near overwhelming as he got so close to where you wanted them before pulling away.

Hot, open mouthed kisses decorated your shoulder and up your neck, your skin tingling as goosebumps textured your flesh. His tongue darted out to lick along the shell of your ear before he pressed closer. His cock, hard and hot, so, so hot, dug into the cleft of your ass and you moaned, nearly missing the words he hissed into your ear. "I do when I'm about to fuck you."

Oh. He definitely was not just teasing. That would be too cruel, even for him. "Kei…" you breathed, voice cracking. "Kei," you said again, louder, a whimper catching in your throat as you clawed at the sheets. "Kei, please…"

He groaned. The desperation in your tone, the way you choked back emotion when you said his name. "Good girl," he growled. His teeth sank into your neck and you cried out, shrinking against him only to jerk and arch away as long fingers finally pushed between your legs. You were so wet, slick squelching noises making his eyes close as he pushed two long fingers inside you. "I can't wait to break you, princess."

He might as well have been speaking in tongues as far as your brain's ability to decipher the words you heard. As his fingers filled you over and over again, curling and stretching and rubbing, you rolled on your back, glazed eyes fixing on his face as you wrapped trembling fingers around his neck. His lips were surprisingly soft, his tongue slipping smoothly between your lips to eagerly meet yours. Your legs fell open as you ground your pelvis up against his palm. He chuckled softly, his thumb swiping over your clit. “So needy,” he teased. But the way his cock throbbed against your thigh gave him away, though you could only manage a hiss before pulling him down to kiss you again.

He certainly didn’t seem to be in a hurry. No matter how you whined or twisted he persisted like you were a new toy he wanted to methodically learn. His lips moved down your neck to your chest, sucking hard along the way, before taking a peaked nipple in his mouth, rolling his tongue around it slowly. His fingers moved inside you just as methodically, seeking the places that had you making the most noise and focusing his attention there.

“Tsu-Kei, please-!” you whined, gripping the pillow so tight your fingers hurt.

“Ah ah,” he chided softly. “You don’t want to be done already, do you?”

“N-no…” you panted. More you thought desperately. “Maybe…fuck!” The ghost of his laugh warmed your skin and you grabbed at his hair. The wet sounds that reverberated in your ears as he fucked you with his fingers was so lewd but you wanted more. “I need…I just - want you inside.”

His tongue dragged a wet path up your neck. He kissed you deeply, sucking on your tongue and groaning when you bit his lip. “But I am inside you,” he said, his fingers stirring your pussy for emphasis. Stars flashed through your vision and you shuddered. Clutching the quilt and the back of his neck you arched upwards.

“Do that again,” you begged. So he did, swirling his fingers in the same motion until you were free falling off the edge, panting into his mouth around his tongue. His fingers, drenched with your release, dug into your thigh roughly as he moved between your legs. His other hand wrapped around the back of your neck, pulling you into another feverish kiss. You clung to him, whining as the length of his shaft slid along your slit, dragging against your swollen clit. He rutted against you until his cock was drenched with your slick and you were brokenly begging for him to put it in.

“Can I have you?” he hissed against your lips. He shifted his hips and the velvety head of his cock caught just at the entrance of your throbbing cunt. You inhaled sharply and held your breath, a shocked ‘oh god’ gurgling from the back of your throat as he continued. “Like this?”

“Yes, please, God yes!” You clawed angry red lines down his back to grab at his hips, pulling him forward.

Tsukki had felt something akin to shame jerking off thinking about you in the bathroom before bed but that was long gone now, because he was sure that otherwise he would have come right then from the way your pussy sucked him in. He pushed you back onto the mattress, biting your neck and sucking hard to keep himself from getting lost in the sensation. His back was burning and you were pulling his hair and it felt so fucking good. Every hot, wet, tight inch was both bliss and torture. You were gasping, your body tensing the deeper he went and he quickly realized that was going to be a problem if you kept it up.

You couldn’t see. Your head was spinning and you couldn’t think and you were so full, too full, stretched so good around his cock; his hips rolling in small movements that were both too much and not enough and - suddenly he was gently tapping your cheek, his lips brushing against yours. “Relax, sweetheart,” he murmured. “I’m almost there.”

You swallowed thickly, blinking rapidly in the glow of the moonlight.

Tsukki.

Tsukishima.

Kei. All six feet eight inches of him was on top of you, asking you to relax because you were too tense to take all of his cock. You looked down, bracing your feet and tilting your hips to get a better view before you rolled against him. He groaned and his forehead touched yours as he watched the last inches of his cock disappear inside you. “Good girl,” he breathed. He grabbed the back of your neck and held you, the both of you watching as he moved. Out, out, out; your pussy clenching as he dragged his length out before slowly pushing back in. Again. And again. And again. “Look how good you take me, angel.” God he wanted to make you cry. He wanted to make it so good you’d cry. “I could fuck you like this all night.”

You would let him. You would let him do anything he wanted to you. You made a strangled noise of desperation, clawing at his shoulders, pressing your lips to his in a feverish kiss. When his hand cupped your cheek you grabbed his wrist and repositioned it on your throat. “You have the prettiest hands,” you muttered. “Wanted them to choke me for so long.”

In a flash he shoved your head back into the pillow, his fingers squeezing along the sides of your neck. Not as tightly as you might have wanted, but enough for the pressure to send another gush of arousal to soak the bed beneath you. He forced your head back and shifted his hips, fucking into you with deep strokes. The wet slaps of colliding bodies echoed in the room. You wondered if the neighbors beneath could hear it. Certainly they could hear you. You sounded like an animal, moaning and squealing, your ass bouncing off the mattress to meet his thrusts. Suddenly he stopped, his hips flush against yours, buried completely inside you. You could feel his length twitch and it made you moan. He kissed you slowly, his hand moving to your jaw, squeezing enough to make you keep your mouth open, pulling back to let your combined saliva drip back into your mouth. You pulsed around his cock, unexpectedly enjoying the crude action.

“Kei~!” you whined when even after all that he still wasn’t moving.

“Quiet.” His chest was flush against you, your face in the curve of his neck. He started to move again, holding you down with his body so you couldn’t do anything but let him fuck you. “You feel so good,” he huffed. “So goddamn tight and wet.” You were flushed with embarrassment, and the fact that you could hear how wet you were as he moved wasn’t helping. Your nails dug into his back and you spread your legs wider, silently encouraging him to keep going.

It wasn’t long before your breath was coming in sharp bursts and you were twitching beneath him. “Kei,” you mumbled, a familiar heat coiling low in your belly. “I - oh fuck - Kei I’m gonna…” you managed to slide your hand between your bodies, your fingers caressing your clit in feathery circles. “If you keep…like this…” Your head was so fuzzy, your nerves drunk on pleasure. Tsukki hardly dared to breathe, maintaining the exact same speed and angle as you brought yourself to another orgasm. The noises you made were better than anything he could have imagined, your body arching, your silken walls clamping and throbbing around him.

“Shit,” he hissed, gripping your hip hard as he fucked you through your orgasm. He should have known the effect that would have. He needed to stop. He needed to pull out. He needed to reign in some kind of semblance of self control before he fucked you full of his cum. “So tight, sweetheart, got me way too close.” In a passing moment of clarity you thought fuck he’s going to come. Perhaps what you should have done was pushed him away. What instead happened was you growling like a depraved animal, scratching his back as you wrapped your legs around him and used the leverage to fuck yourself on his cock.

“Don’t you dare pull out,” you growled.

Even if he wanted to, which he didn’t, you held him so tightly he couldn’t. He groaned, his arm around your waist, holding you down on him as he came. You stayed like that for several minutes, bodies twisted together until he finally, slowly, pulled out. “Don’t move.” He brought you a towel and the two of you cleaned up and redressed in silence. When he climbed into bed you curled around him. Your face tucked into his neck, your legs tangled with his, and your fingers threaded in the back of his curly hair. He kissed the top of your head, his hand sliding under your shirt to caress your back.

“For the record,” he said suddenly a minute later. “You might be sleeping in here from now on but you still have to pay rent.”

You giggled, gently pulling his hair. “Only if you agree to rescind the ‘no fucking on the couch’ rule.”

“Keep pulling my hair and I guess we’ll find out.”

“It’s freezing don’t you dare!” You’d only just managed to warm up the bed. He laughed smugly and truth be told you were half tempted to test him. You told yourself that would be tomorrow’s goal.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

I'm so tired, shares replenish me.

#too tired for my usual snark or whatever it is i do here #i never want to see this lanky bastard again in my life #that's a lie i love him actually #haikyuu #kei tsukishima #haikyuu lemon #can't believe we're back to that isht #time skip tsukishima #tsukki x reader

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bomberqueen17 · 21 days

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ugh

I can't sleep and I'm just sort of stewing over how unprepared I am to be entirely on my own managing my own healthcare. blech.

Did I mention, Farmsister was suffering from hip pain and went to her doctor and was diagnosed with the exact same problem I have?

Diagnosed, I said. Yes! Her doctor actually investigated the cause of her pain, diagnosed her, referred her to a physical therapist, but also came up with a plan of treatment. Told her physical therapy often can't resolve this issue, so after a set amount of PT, if there wasn't enough improvement she'd refer her to an orthopedist instead.

Imagine that. My doctor was like "you've got intermittently debilitating pain? You should go see a doctor about that." and that was that. I went to a physical therapist because that's what she recommended, but I don't have a plan, I'm just spending $150/wk to work out in a room full of other people. I guess I'll ask my PT if there's a plan or like timeline or like, idk, something we should look for, or what. IDK what a realistic goal is. Pain-free seems out of reach. I'd settle for largely functional, I guess? But I don't know, and I guess I'm on my own to figure it out.

And the same with the ADHD! She was like "oh, your insurance isn't going to cover it and it's probably going to take months of waiting, but you had better go see someone about that", and refused to engage any further. So I messaged the psychiatrist today and he doesn't check the messages on that platform so I texted the admin who was like oh usually medication is adjusted at follow-ups, and I'm like well in the three minutes he talked to me it didn't come up I guess, so then they texted back that he says to try taking two pills a day for a couple days and then schedule a follow-up.

I've asked around, and usually I guess the regular adderall pills, you take in two doses at separate times. But if the point is that I'm trying to see if a higher dose helps, I'd probably better take them at the same time??

It's just that when the small ineffective dose wears off four or five hours after I take it, without my ever having had a good phase, I get horribly drowsy and also get this kind of gross formless yearning that I think might be a dopamine crash, where I roam the house in itchy horrible discontent trying to think of something that might help me, but it's not candy and it's not reading a book and it's not napping, and I guess I understand why people turn to drugs or self-harm because the feeling is awful, spacy and wrung-out and aimlessly needy.

But I guess it's up to me to research what that is and what to do about it, and then at my $250 three-minute follow-up appointment in three days or whatever I'll tell the psych what I want prescribed to me, because it's sure as shit not like he's going to have any fucking advice for me.

And like. Laugh out loud at the notion that my primary care physician would give a single shit about this. Maybe I didn't mention this on here either but literally the only thing she has looked into about me is that my blood tests came back with a fasting blood glucose level of 5.7 (idk what units, just that she's fixated on that number) and it is exactly entirely that post circulating about """"pre-diabetes"""? She has put in my chart that she wants to start me on Metformin!! Christ all fucking mighty, it could not be more obvious that she took one look at my fat ass and was like "this bitch eats only candy! I'd better scare her straight!"

Ma'am fuck off. She wants me to get my blood retested in July and I am figuring I'll take advantage of having to have a visit then anyway to get the ADHD stuff entered into my main chart, and I'm also going to tell her that since she was so disinterested in literally any of the conditions actually debilitating me (my hip pain and my ADHD) I had to research those so I could treat myself, and in the course of researching that I found out about the fake "epidemic" of "pre-diabetes" which isn't a thing, it's a fucking PR gambit to sell drugs, and so if she prescribes me diabetes drugs when I do not fucking have diabetes I will not be taking them, and I will also be looking for a new doctor, because I do not appreciate her fixation on treating a condition I do not have while ignoring things that are literally preventing me from leading the life I want to, wherein I can do things like, stand/walk as much as I like and can also like, perform tasks.

So there's my timeline.

(Yeah my insurance won't cover blood testing a second time in a year so that's gonna cost me $200ish, and the phone doctor visit she insisted on to discuss the results last time was $45 and it'll be that again for this one, but I mean, eventually I'll hit my deductible maybe.)

I don't know, people tell me that they have medical professionals that actually listen to and treat them and give them like actual good actionable advice on how to improve their various health conditions but as far as I can tell that all sounds fake and isn't a thing.

Unfortunately, I am too fucking debilitated by my Can't Think Good disease to do a competent job at caring for myself, so I guess I'm just going to have to fucking muddle through somehow, or something.

Probably I should put together my citations on how Pre-Diabetes Is Fake so that when I unload that on my doctor I can do so with fucking footnotes at least. Lord knows I can't sleep at the moment so I might as well do something productive.

#about the author #whining #adhd

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skullettemoi · 9 months

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Close Calls - Rodrick

!DISCLAIMER!- Rodrick is canonically 18 (I saw it in Wiki) so please do not come for me and if you still do not feel comfy feel free to leave and i'm sorry for the struggle <3

!WARNINGS!- Black reader(but everyones welcome), Phone Sex (Yall are video call), One sided mastubation, Long distance relationships, Name calling( Bae, Baby, Dumbass), cussing, men whimpering.

AN- I honestly got this idea from this one whimpering audio that popped up on my fyp also not proof read so tell me about mistakes plaseee :>

It was really late at night, and everyone in your household was fast asleep but not you. You laid flat on your stomach with your legs kicking up and down making a soft thumping noise against your soft, plush bed.

You scrolled aimlessly on your new computer that was recently gifted to you from your stepdad, you knew it was just to make you like him( and it did) but it felt nice to know that he spent money on somthing THAT expensive just for you and it was a good was to entertain yourself on long nights like these, night where you waited and waited for your boyfriend to finally call you.

You and your boyfriend, Rodrick, had been dating for a year before you had to move away, it sucked and the time zones really didn't help but, you and Rodrick pressed through. You let out a dragging sigh as you flipped over onto your back "Whats taking him soooo long" you whined, it was normal for him to be little late but never late to the point you were about give up hope and close your computer for the night.

You jumped a little when a loud, and high-pitched ringing tone erupted from your device, scrambling back onto your stomach you quickly moved your mouse to the accept icon on the screen "Baby! you finally called!" you beamed out excited to finally lay your your eyes on your handsome boyfriend "Y-yea" rodrick breathed out, it was dark in his room and the shitty quality of the camera made it hard for you to properly view him.

"Baby, whats wrong?" the lack of excitement made your eyebrows furrow and cock your head to the side "Nothing, Nothing!" he repeated "H-how was your w-week" Rodrick continued- he was trying to change the subject, and it worked. That one simple sentence that he struggled to get out made you on a a rampage of the annoying week you had "Ugh! Don't even get me started." you rolled you eyes recollecting the prior stress inducing week "My mom and I went to some collage tour right" you started "Some Bitch gon' come up to me talking about- 'Oh YoU SeEEm LikE YOu WoULd STruggLe iN mY MAjoR' " you mocked the girl in a nasally high-pitched voice " So i asked her what her major was right?" "Uh-huh, baby" Rodrick let out a breathy moan just listening to you rant about your encounter, his hand wrapped around his erect dick, pumping it slowly and spreading his precum all over his veiny shaft.

"IT WAS ENGLISH!" you exclaimed throwing your heads up in a dramatic way to get your point across before you quieted down for your boyfriends response, instead you were met with a quite and broken whimper "Roddy?" you called out "J-just k-k-keep talking baby" "Im jus s-s-so closee" Rodrick whispered out, his hands picking up the speed second by second, the speed made it so a lewd wet sound could be heard from his side "Baby, are you jerking off?" you whispered not wanting anyone to hear even if they were asleep "Fucccckkkkkk" Rodricks eyes rolled to the back of his head, his shaft twitched indicating he was close really REALLY close "C'mon bae just a lil bit more" he rasped out.

You tried to quickly think of thing to say but you were just at a lost of words, you two have had sex before but WOAH you would have ever guessed this would happen "I-I" you stammer "I love you roddy" was the only thing that could come out of your mouth and honestly it was the perfect thing to send him over the edge, jerking his hips forward and closing his eye shut so tightly, rodrick could feel the wave of pleasure crash into him and his white cum splattered all over his hand, he was breathing heavily and his cheeks were flushed bright red, yours would have been to honestly.

"When are you coming to visit?" he breathed out

"T-Two days, why?" you knew why and he knew you knew why but you wanted him to say it

"I need you so bad Y/N"

AN: OKAY! So how did i do for my first time writing, is there anything I could do better, and if so please tell me!!

#black reader #rodrick heffley #rodrick x y/n #diary of a wimpy kid #18+ content #minors dni

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kennyomegasweave · 2 months

Text

my live thoughts during the finale of The Sign

Obviously, spoilers will be under here.

I had complaints about this show, but I still enjoyed myself overall and I LOVED this finale. It was a really good and entertaining finale.

My boy is def getting shot cause he just basically proposed to his man and said he's gonna do it for real once this mission is done. 😭😭😭

Old woman yaoi! I am very sad for these women but you know old woman yaoi! Phaya’s grandma be making moves. Get it mama!

Man. I don't wanna see Chart get tortured. Kaownah is my fave and it's his birthday today and everything.

Yai would hear Tharn stuck in some ravine in the jungle. I love siblings, chosen or otherwise, so much.

Was Tharn reinstated? Cause he's like “I'm gonna arrest Montree” but he’s suspended? Can he even do that? He might have been reinstated in the last episode, but I can't remember. Oops. lol

YES AT THEM ROLLING UP ON A JEEP RUNNING BITCHES OVER. THE SQUAD’S HERE FUCKERS. STRIKE TEAM: GAY (AND YAI)

Khem is about to get shot. It's dark and he and Thongthai are outside and I saw the preview and I literally have a pit in my stomach. Because I know what's gonna happen and no. NO.

NO CHART NO.

KHEM BABY NO. HE GOT SHOT SAVING HIS MAN AND FELL WITH THE NECKLACE WITH THEIR RING CAUSE THEY WERE GONNA GET MARRIED IT’S BEEN YEARS And this is also why like they probably shouldn't have had Khem and Thongthai on the same team because Khem whole ass threw himself in front of his man and then Thongthai was basically useless cause it's not like he was gonna be able to do a motherfucking thing once his man was fucking shot.

CHART NO AGAIN HOW MANY TIMES IS THIS MAN GONNA GET SHOT

I don't even care about the supernatural shit and the rest of this after Khem got shot right in Thongthai’s arms. We can shut this whole damn episode down.

Oh okay. No Chart and Khem aren't dead. We have a throwaway line that Khem (and Chart) are “safe” and thus not dead. Okay. We can continue this episode. I'm good. Khem’s at the hospital and, even if I never see him for the rest of this episode, I can rest knowing he will be getting dicked down by Thongthai in “we’re alive and getting married” marathon sex once he recovers. My boys WILL be married in the special episode y'all keep mentioning is happening. I know this.

Okay, like, Montree is evil, don't get me wrong. But he kept being like “why won't you just leave me alone” in the warehouse like he's not a drug dealing murderer and then he refuses to confess and is unfazed by a whole damn Naga showing up and capturing him. And it’s a mood how much he doesn't give a fuck. Man said he don't care about anything. lol

Aww Yai and Sand. Yai and his hot ass wife. He couldn't resist telling her she was beautiful. Man loves his brother and his hot ass wife. I love him.

I'm fairly confident we won't see anyone else from the cop side the rest of the episode, maybe Yai cause he's Tharn's brother, but that's it. But you know what. My fucking boy is alive and so is his man and they will be getting married. So I won. I win, you lose, ah ha.

I'm guessing this is the scene Babe mentioned was hard cause it's a love scene but he's sad cause he knows he's gonna leave Phaya but Phaya doesn't know that. I do wish we had seen him negotiate this with Chalothon. Like “fine I'll go with you, but you gotta let me have one more night to get that dick.”

Paid $16 and the damn ass blur is still there? Pardon me?

Phaya loves Tharn so fucking much. He is out here freaking out. Running around aimlessly. Baby. Baby boy.

Okay, also, Tharn. Love. You had to know Phaya wasn't just gonna let you leave? Asking why he followed you. Babe. Baby. Babes. He's always gonna follow you.

Again. Chalothon’s Naga look is really hot and if I was Tharn I would have never looked at Phaya in our first life cause I would have been sat with that man and his hot ass fire look. RIP to Tharn but I'm different. I'm a whore.

Yes at Phaya using his Garuda powers. They were so severely lacking in this show and I’m still butthurt.

THARN BABY OMG. I mean. You would think that maybe Chalothon would have learned by now to not throw spear objects at Phaya. Stupid bitch. Killed the person he's wanted for several lifetimes TWICE in the same way.

I'm here for this montage combining both their lives. Sad it's happening because Tharn got fucking stabbed. Again.

“He's always sacrificing himself for you to be where he doesn't belong. You're selfish.” Now I know your bitch ass isn't saying that when you have now KILLED him twice. Hater ass bitch. Someone is selfish here and it's not the dude who hasn't killed his man TWICE in the same way. Flop ass bitch.

Oh Phaya. Baby. He just loves Tharn so fucking much.

Damn. They sent Dao’s ass back to France. I didn't like her, but they didn't need to send her ass back to France. lol

Oh. I'm not ready for Yai and Phaya to see each other. Not at all. Phaya is just crying silently and Yai is ugly crying. Neither of them have spoken a word to the other. Oh my heart.

A YEAR LATER??? Oh they're really doing this huh. Okay. lol I figured something was gonna happen when the still of Phaya with that hair and facial hair came out. Man was obviously going through something and time had passed.

Phaya. I get maybe there's not other bedrooms in Tharn’s grandma’s house but staying in the room AND bed where y'all last saw each other can't be good for your mental health. Though the hair and facial hair already told me that mental health is hanging on by a thread and that thread is fraying baby.

THE SQUAD IS HERE TO FIND THARN. My boy is fucking alive and with his babe! And Sand is here too! Mine and Yai’s girl! I didn't even see the fine ass Captain, but he’s there too. Is he joining the search or is he trying to get Phaya to start living again? Regardless, even he came down. I love that. In another life he was Tharn's brother. Though Phaya has clearly given up on life. Which again, that hair and facial hair already showed that.

Is this a real thing or is Phaya dreaming??? I know they said it's the 15th day on the 11th moon or something so the Naga can come out so I'm guessing it's real? THE SNAKE DOCTOR FINALLY GAVE THARN UP??? Okay, I love this. I need the second thing they do after getting off this hill is cut Phaya’s hair and shave him. The first thing is fuck, obviously.

#the sign #the sign the series #spoilers #the show stuck the fuck out of the landing #which is very appreciated since a lot of shows have very much not been sticking the landing #I had a good time with the show overall #even though I do still have complaints about the writing #but this finale was very satisfying to me #totally worth my $16 and getting up at 3AM #regular clyde

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silentwillowwhisperer · 1 year

Text

Tattoo AU pt. 5

Hiii! I used a few curse words in this, if that bothers you. It's literally Keith's morning brain being too tired to pretend to have a filter.

Wait. Do they know each other's last names? Whatever it's fine.

Keith's messages are normal text

Lance's messages are bolded

--------------------------------------------

Saturday, May 5th 5:48 AM

Keith! Hi! Guess what? I have your number

5:56 AM

Are you ignoring me?? Gasp! Offence taken

2 missed calls from Unknown Number

6:07 AM

Keiiiith Buddy? My man? I thought we bonded the betrayal stings

Keith checks his phone.

He had just woken up at 10 AM for work like a normal person to find someone spamming him.

He stares at the screen. What are the chances that this is a serial killer trying to get information from him so that they can murder him in his sleep?

Pretty high.

But does his curiosity outweigh his caution? Yep.

Before he seals his fate, though, he texts Shiro.

Saturday, May 5th 10:37 AM

Hey If I die, I want you to know that I like you almost as much as Kosmo Make sure to have my gravestone include a reasonable amount of curse words I'm thinking something like, "This fucker was glad to go, the world can go to shit. Also, strawberries are superior. Later, bitches."

He ignores Shiro's frantic responses, and goes back to the unknown number's contact.

Saturday, May 5th 10:43 AM

Hi. If you're trying to kill me, please make it cool. I'd hate be they guy to die from food poisoning or some crap like that could you make it some kind of murder mystery? I've always wanted to be the subject of one of those

10:45 AM

Ummm What? Dude It's me. Lance. Why would you want to get murdered?? I just wanted to invite you to a picnic Me Hunk, and Pidge are going You know, the others from the day we met?

10:51 AM

Dammit Can you send me the address?

Keith drives into the parking lot of a picturesque park. It's well hidden from the road, so there's almost no one else there.

He pulls of his helmet and spend a minute smoothing down his hair. His dark locks are already an unruly mess, but the helmet makes it 10 times worse.

The second he looks up, he sees Lance waving wildly at him from across the lot. The guy jogs over with a grin.

"Hey! You're here! For a second I though you were just pretending to agree just to shut me up! You really aren't horrible, Kogane."

Keith doesn't tell Lance that he had been planning on doing exactly that.

The picnic blanket is red and checkered, as it should be. It is set up under a huge tree next to a lake. Keith can see Hunk and Pidge playing frisbee about 10 feet away from it, probably so that they don't accidentally hit the food.

He and Lance sit with their backs to the tree for at least 30 minutes.

It should be awkward, but it isn't. The wind blows through their hair and several birds fly past them. Neither of them says a word, but they can both fell the comfortable silence humming between them.

They'd never admit it, but they both fell the pang in their chests when Hunk jogs over for lunch.

The three of them are easily 5 times as talkative as Keith, but he doesn't mind. It's kind of nice to watch them converse as he eats his lunch.

No, he's not creepy, leave him alone.

Sometimes they'll ask him a question or send him a grin. They seem to catch on pretty fast that Keith isn't feeling left out, he's just quiet. He appreciates that, it always annoys him when people try to force him into a conversation.

They do learn a few things about him, like how he dropped out of high school at age 16, and then proceeded to attend art school for 4 years to get his degree.

After they finish, they run aimlessly around the park for a while. Sometimes they chase each other, and sometimes they just run side by side, but there are absolutely no rules.

Keith finds himself enjoying it. As much as he loves Shiro, he can be so uptight sometimes. The same goes for Allura. It's been a while since he's done anything just for the heck of it.

When he gets to the tattoo parlor later that day, he has a lightened step and even Kosmo picks up on his good mood.

Maybe he should hang out with these people more often.

Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

#tattoo shop au #vld #voltron legendary defender #voltron #keith kogane #lance mcclain #klance #lance vld #keith vld #vld keith #tawny post

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lesbianrobin · 7 months

Note

howdy em, any advice for focusing on studies instead of my hobbies? I love my fandom blurbs so much but sometimes it’s to my downfall xp

babes i appreciate your high opinion of me but i am SO not the bitch to ask. i'm literally terrible at time management and focusing on boring shit FKVJDJD but here's some stuff that sorta works for me. sorta.

incorporate your interests into your schoolwork whenever possible. obviously this is gonna be a task of varying difficulty depending on the assignment and what you're studying, but if you Can write your paper about stranger things or create a fun visual project in photoshop to display your data or whatever, you're gonna be more motivated to work.

sorta on that note you know that thing where you read a fanfic and it's like so incredibly obvious that the author works in a specific field or has expertise with a specific thing? you could be that author. if you can't incorporate your interests into your work, try incorporating your work into your interests! idk about you but i definitely have more fun and feel more motivated when i'm researching for a fic than i do when i'm just doing a random assigned reading. as you study, you might keep a list in the back of your mind of ways that this could potentially benefit a future fic or whatever to keep you engaged.

i personally once made a stranger things gifset to explain the history of color in film to procrastinate studying for my film history final and guess what! i was actually just studying for my film history final! in a weird ass nerd way!!

be flexible with your studies. i typically write at least 50% of any given assignment on my phone, because i'll get ideas at random moments or seize small pieces of downtime throughout the day to get work done. it can be helpful to designate certain times and spaces for schoolwork, but in my own personal experience, sometimes that can make the whole thing feel much more intimidating, and i won't get any more work done than i would have while typing on my phone in bed. i also find that restricting schoolwork to a specific time/place makes me view it as more of an obligation, when the truth is that i love what i study! i love to learn! so, i try to treat my studies as a hobby whenever possible. my fic and paper writing processes are nearly identical, and i think that helps in easing some of the pressure and dread that might accompany the thought of Writing A Paper.

this one is boring but just. reward yourself when you do focus on your studies! when i used to pull late nights in undergrad to get my work done on time, i would often take a trip to sonic when i was around halfway through with my work, for both a brain reset and a little reward. the first time i did it, i just didn't have any food for dinner in my apartment, but it quickly became a ritual that made me look forward to getting work done.

study in public when possible. this one sounds so stupid but literally the power of knowing that anybody around you in the starbucks or library or whatever could see you on tumblr/ao3/etc is NOT to be underestimated! i am a very insecure and self conscious person and i use this to my advantage. would you rather that cool-looking girl at the table next to you see you thoughtfully annotating marx or scrolling aimlessly through ao3? think about it.

ok that's like most of it i guess! but in all honestly i am still figuring it out myself. i think the key is just to keep on trying. it takes time to figure out what works for you and what doesn't, and there are gonna be times when you screw up and make a poor choice that backfires. instead of thinking about how much you suck, or writing it off entirely, look at these instances as opportunities to learn and consider how you might set yourself up to make better choices in the future.

anyway i'll get off my high horse and shut up now LMAO thank you for like thinking i am smart enough to come to with such a question. good luck!

#asks #also howdy ✌🏻#em talks

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brick-a-doodle-do · 1 year

Note

I REQUEST HEADCANNONS FOR TINY WORKERS!!! please…

Also some drawing prompts for Tiny Workers if you don’t mind 👉👈

/nf

man i had like 3 hcs all written out and some drawing prompts too and my internet completely crashed. ripppp

i guess i'll start again :v

my all time favorite bits in tiny workers (that i can remember) are a. tommy being stuck in tipsy wil's pocket while he and schlatt walk around the park aimlessly, and b. the workers just launching water balloons at protestors 😭 SO either one of those, or or or equally as good: your favorite bit. because i am very curious what other people think of this au ,,,,

NOW headcannons

tiny workers headcannons ✨

on their uniforms, they have their name stitched into the bottom of the cloth, but they realized it doesn't really work all that well, so they upgraded to the typical worker nametag, which leads to all of the workers crossing out their name and adding something different, or like adding things. tommy's added "innit" to the bottom, q put "big" in front of his and crossed off "uackity" ykyk all the fun stuff

and on the topic of uniforms, they also have stitched other stuff into it. tommy's added like a l'manburg flag after the dnd era thingy, tubbo's added a bee and a nuke, just stuff that kinda both relates to their lore reenactment or just them as a person ,,,,

one time techno came over with wilbur and tech just steals tommy from will (which COULD strike up some tw!tnt content but that's a different story) and they make it their day's goal to just break every single rule. except no smoking (based off of a thing me and my uncle do ever fall)

i've been trying very hard to think of attractions because i realized how much i need to do for 20k acres 😭 anyway i went to a theme park the other day and got to have some inspo. SO have some. one, imagine like. mascots. definitely would make the park more kid-oriented AND imagine just different characters from size media. like arrietty or some guy from the honey i shunk series

another one from hershey: i saw a few people with giant ass reversable octopuses and saw some girl sitting inside of it using it as a chair and LIKE imagine that but as a hand. u can win a giant hand at some arcade game 👀👀

imagine like a rollercoaster or waterslide that had a 3d effect or just had screens on the side that projected like a human coming after you, or some kind of bug/animal/etc

i mentioned a lego thing at one point and i know a lot of lego stores have a build-your-own lego, and imagine wil making one just to resemble tommy claiming that the figurine'll replace the kid JVJSDV

imagine another dnd game (much shorter) with the (entire) scu 👀 this time with a few strangers. ORRRRR i could make grizzly & bizly canon. maybe both tiny workers.

charlie'll be introduced then probably. he'll be a stranger prior to the campaign and after that charlie becomes a tiny bit of a regular.

i think i'm also gonna make jaiden canon as a human worker

imagine a restaurant that's made to look like a human counter. like there's some kind of optical illusion on the floor that makes you look really high up 👏👏👏

i went to a planetarium yesterday and lemme tell u the g/t in me went BRRRR. it opened with like an eye over me looking around and at one point they made it look like you were getting closer to a telescope, which also looked like being trapped under a cup. SO imagine THAT in the park. just some kind of theater with a giant screen over you, maybe a first-person mini-movie about being a borrower ✨

I HOPE THESE SUFFICE FOR NOW !! i also have 2 art-ish things in the works hopefully soon. one of them is being a bitch cause there is so much for it sfjfsdd

#brickquiries #anon brickling #tiny workers au #mcyt g/t #dsmp g/t

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nobody-expects-the-inquisitorius · 2 years

Text

Incorrect Quotes, Part Fkeowkifwkodkwjsow

Eighth: I can’t tell if you’re a genius or just incredibly arrogant. The Grand Inquisitor: Well, on a good day, I’m both.

The Grand Inquisitor, on the phone to Shiri: Okay turn around. The Grand Inquisitor: No, the other way. The Grand Inquisitor: The other other way. The Grand Inquisitor: Okay, one more time. The Grand Inquisitor: A little to the left. The Grand Inquisitor: No, your other left. Shiri: OH MY GOD, WHERE ARE YOU?!? The Grand Inquisitor: Oh, I'm not there yet. But the thought of you aimlessly spinning in circles amuses me.

The Grand Inquisitor: Shiri is not allowed to violate the dress code, even on 'casual' Fridays. The Grand Inquisitor: No matter how many times you say please, Shiri. We won't put any of the hats you've been asking about into the dress code.

Shiri: You are a spineless twit! Seventh: You cannot talk to me that way, I am your superior! Shiri: A six-year-old girl could talk to you that way! Seventh: Yes, because that would be adorable. Shiri: No, it's because you are a five-year-old girl and there's a pecking order.

Shiri: Grand Inquisitor, you're my best friend. The Grand Inquisitor: Best friend? BEST friend?! Bitch, I'm your only friend. The Grand Inquisitor: I'M THE ONLY ONE CAPABLE OF TOLERATING YOUR DUMB ASS!

Seventh: There was a motor close to where I am right now. Fifth: A motor- a motorcycle? Seventh: Oh sorry, a murder. Shiri: That escalated quickly.

Reva: What are amphetamines? Fifth: Drugs that can go on land and water. Reva: Ohhhh.

Eighth: I typed "bitch" into my GPS and guess what? I'm in your driveway. Seventh: Eighth: Vroom vroom, come out already.

Shiri: Look, I’m glad everyone’s on the same page. Shiri: But it’s the last page in a book titled “we’re all going to die”. Seventh: That’s not even clever.

Fifth: I don't know, it's not my cup of tea. Shiri: Well then whose is it? Fifth, staring at a cup of tea: I don't know!

Shiri: When I said you should try being friendlier this isn't what I meant. Eighth, stirring a cup of tea aggressively: Oh, so now I'm TOO friendly? There's no pleasing you. The Grand Inquisitor, who broke into their house an hour ago: Two sugars please. Eighth: Coming right up.

Shiri: Ah ready for another fantastic day of being better than Fifth.

Fifth: May luck (and this picture of Reva eating shredded cheese at 3 in the morning) be with you.

Eighth, turning to Seventh: Stop calling yourself hot, the only thing you can turn on is the microwave.

Reva: Eighth isn’t answering my messages. Shiri: Allow me. Reva: I tried 6 times, what makes you thi- Eighth: *replying to message* Hello.

Reva: Guys where did Eighth go? The Grand Inquisitor: He got arrested. Reva: How the hell- Eighth: *bursts in through the window* The cops are after me, I thought it would be fun to steal crackers and throw them at people.

Seventh: Shiri, this morning, I called you abhorrent and reprehensible, and I’d like to withdraw that statement- Shiri: Aww, thanks- Seventh: But I can't. Those are the 2 words that best describe you.

Eighth: When do you usually go to sleep? Shiri: Whenever I collapse is entirely up to the gods.

Seventh: GET BACK HERE YOU DUMB FUCK! Reva: LET ME RUN FROM THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY ACTIONS!

The Grand Inquisitor: I could kill you if I wanted. Reva: Yeah? So could any other human being. So could a dog. So could a dedicated duck. You aren't special.

Seventh: We need a plan to beat them. Eighth: Okay, listen up. First, we fill their shoes with wet cat food. Seventh: Eighth: Judge me all you want, I get results.

Reva: Fifth is late again. Shiri: How did this happen? I called him at 8 o’clock this morning and pretended it was 11. The Grand Inquisitor: I printed up a fake schedule for him saying we were starting at 9 instead of noon. Seventh: I set his clock to say PM when it’s really AM. Reva: Oh boy. We may have overdone it. *Fifth bursts through the door* Fifth: WHAT TIME IS IT?

Shiri: Hi. Seventh: Hey, did you do what I said? Did you tell him? Shiri: I did. Seventh: And what did he say? Shiri: “Thank you.” Seventh: You’re totally welcome. What’d he say? Shiri: He said, “Thank you.” I said “I love you” and The Grand Inquisitor said, “Thank you.”

Shiri: I’ve never been in a snowball fight before. I don’t know the rules. Eighth: What? Shiri: Is there a point system, or is it to the death?

*Seventh sends more than 5 messages in a row* Eighth: I ain’t reading all that. Eighth: I’m happy for you tho. Eighth: Or sorry that happened.

Seventh: I sort of did something and I need some advice, but I don't want a lot of judgment and criticism. Eighth: And you came to me?

Eighth: Uh, I think I got your lunch. Holds up a note that reads: ‘I am very proud of you. Love, Shiri’ Fifth: Oh yeah. I didn’t think this was for me. Holds up a note that reads: ‘Be good. For the love of God, Please be good.’

Seventh: *Pulls a glass a water from out of nowhere* Reva: Where did you get that? Seventh: My pocket. Reva: How do you keep a glass of water in your pocket? Seventh: Skills.

Seventh: Hey Reva, do you have any hobbies? Reva: Swimming.. Seventh: Really? That’s cool. I never expected you to- Reva: In a pool of self hatred and regret.

Reva: You want some leftovers? Shiri: What are those? Reva: You've never had leftovers before? Shiri: No, ‘cause I’m not a quitter.

Eighth: Hello friends! The Squad: Eighth: You might be wondering why I’m taped to the ceiling

Fifth & Seventh:*Playing video games* The Grand Inquisitor: You guys woke up at 5:30 in the morning just to play games? Fifth: *silence* Seventh: *silence* The Grand Inquisitor, finally figuring it out: ...You two never went to sleep, did you? Fifth & Seventh in shame: Yeah...

Eighth: A sprite is anything not static. Shiri: A sprite is a variable object, be it 2d or 3d. Reva: A sprite is a fucking soda. Reva: You god damn geekass bastards.

Eighth: You ever see something that changes your life and you're just like "huh.." Shiri: I saw you. Eighth: Honestly that's so cute and sweet but it kinda makes this awkward because I was gonna show you a picture of Reva in a turkey costume

The Grand Inquisitor: Why are you guys acting like this? Shiri: Oh, we're not acting. We really are like this.

Reva, ordering coffee: I’d like a light roast. Seventh: You're kinda ugly.

Reva: You’re jealous. The Grand Inquisitor: Jealous? Reva: That’s why you were being so negative about this. The Grand Inquisitor: That’s absurd. I’m always negative.

Reva: I think I did fairly well on my anatomy quiz! :) Seventh: I forgot I was doing a test. Reva: Seventh. Seventh: I said the vertebrae was the back stick because I thought it was funny.... Eighth: Seventh.

Shiri: "It's easy to forget what a sin is in the middle of a battlefield." The Grand Inquisitor: Opposite over hypotenuse. The Grand Inquisitor: Dipshit.

Fifth: Do you need help getting up? Shiri: Nah, I'm cool down here on the floor.

Seventh: What, in the name of sanity, have you got on your head? Reva: It's a fez, I wear a fez now. Fezzes are cool. Shiri: *snatches the fez, throws it in the air* Seventh: *shoots it*

The Grand Inquisitor: Please could you go to the shop and get a carton of milk, if they have avacodos get six. Fifth, coming back from the store with six cartons of milk: They had avacados!

Fifth: Fight me! Seventh, standing behind him and holding a knife: *mouths* Do not.

Eighth: The universe is cold and unfeeling. The only constant is chaos. Shiri: Was that place out of chocolate-chip pancakes again?

The Grand Inquisitor: Isn’t this a bit dangerous? Seventh: Grand Inquisitor, please. We’ve in a lot of unexpected predicaments before and we always escape unhurt. The Grand Inquisitor: ... Seventh: Okay, we sometimes escape unhurt. The Grand Inquisitor: ... Seventh: Alright, we escaped unhurt once... Then we hurt ourselves in the way home.

Fifth: How are you today? The Grand Inquisitor: Please don’t make me think about my life.

Eighth: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it. Eighth: And I started thinking. Eighth: Like, it was just trying to get food. Eighth: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck? Fifth: Are you ok?

Fifth: Someone care to explain why we have 6 dogs in our apartment? Seventh: They're golden retrievers, dude. They retrieve gold. I did this for us.

Shiri: Well you see, the explanation is perfectly simple and scientific. It was because shut up. Shut up is why.

Seventh: You’re my best friend, I would do anything for you. The Grand Inquisitor: I want you to eat 3 meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule. Seventh: Absolutely not.

Eighth: When I get murdered, can you make sure I become an unsolved case? Reva: wHat? Eighth: I want to be on Buzzfeed Unsolved. Reva: Can we go back to the part when you said "when I get murdered"?

Fifth: How did you even get in here? Eighth: Shiri's window! Or, as I like to call it, "Eighth's door"! Shiri: I’m closing the window.

Reva: How do you want your coffee? Shiri: Black, like my soul. Reva: Reva: Shiri, your soul is a latte.

Shiri: I think it’s time I get my life in order. Seventh, narrating: But she did not get her life in order. In fact, she got drunk last night and fought a raccoon.

Eighth: Do you think different paints have different tastes? Reva: They do. The Grand Inquisitor: ...Why did you say that with such certainty?

Seventh: Hey, did you know as a kid I accidentally ate paper? Shiri: I feel like we've all done that at least once. Fifth: I ate it too- Shiri: See? Fifth: -On purpose... Seventh & Shiri: ...What?

Reva: Can I have some water? The Grand Inquisitor: *starts chugging his water bottle* The Grand Inquisitor: *chokes from drinking too fast* The Grand Inquisitor: *spills water all over himself* The Grand Inquisitor, coughing: I don't have any water.

Shiri: Hey I just got a pet snake. What should I name him? Fifth: A pet WHAT?! Eighth: William Snakespeare.

Shiri: Thank God you were there, Seventh. I knew you wouldn't let your best friend die. Seventh: I'm still gonna arrest you. I just can't do that if you're dead. Shiri: Whatever you gotta tell yourself. Baby steps. It's hard getting them out of their shell.

Shiri: So, Seventh is late today. Anyone wanna bet why? Shiri: I say she slipped through the subway grate and is having terrible sex with the mole man. Eighth: I don't know about that...I think either her alarm clock didn't go off, or she's in line at the bank. Fifth: Take this more seriously! Seventh was clearly taken in her sleep! Reva: I bet she tucked herself into the bed too tightly and got stuck. The Grand Inquisitor: Maybe she fell into another dimension where she's more interesting...? *Seventh arrives* Seventh: Sorry I'm late - there was a problem at the bank. Eighth, clapping his hands in excitement: HOT DAMN!

Eighth: I'm going to be an adult in 4 years and I only have a vague idea of what I'm going to do. Fifth: I’m gonna be an adult in less than a year and I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. Seventh: I'm with you there... Shiri: I'm an adult and I don't know what I'm doing with my life. The Grand Inquisitor: Three types of people.

Seventh: Fellas, I gotta know for science. Is the opposite of red green or blue? Fifth: Technically a mix of green and blue? Seventh: So blurple. Fifth: That's implying you're mixing blue and purple. Seventh: Would you rather have fucking bleen? MOTHERFUCKING GRUE? Fifth: You were confusing before but now I'm scared.

Shiri: Coca Cola can remove rust from metal, imagine what it’s doing to your body. Reva: Pfff, getting rid of the rust, idiot. Shiri: THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS! Eighth: Hmm... I've been drinking soda and my body's rust free... not sure where you're getting your facts from...

Reva: I truly believe that water can solve all your problems. Seventh: Weight loss? Drink water. Eighth: Clear skin? Drink water. Fifth: Want to get rid of someone? Drown them.

Shiri: I need life advice. Fifth, sipping Gatorade and eating cookie dough: You came to the right person.

Eighth: What? I'm not aggressive! Seventh: Last Tuesday, you wacked me with a pair of crocs and stole my chocolate chips? Eighth: Survival of the fittest, bitch.

Seventh, texting: Answer your phone The Grand Inquisitor, texting back: Wait a minute, I can’t find my phone Seventh: Understood Seventh, 5 minutes later: You’re a terrible person. You know you’re killing me. You’re killing me, Grand Inquisitor.

Seventh: Hey Eighth, can you give me the opposite of these words? Seventh: Always, Coming, From, Take, Me, Down. Eighth: Never, Going, To, Give, You- Eighth: The fucking satisfaction.

Fifth: *Talking to The Grand Inquisitor* Oh, hi. I didn't see you there. Welcome to my abode. I'm glad you could join me. Seventh: But this is my abode. Fifth: ... Fifth: Welcome to my abode, I'm so happy to have you, guest.

Shiri: I like to think of myself as a semi responsible adult here. Eighth: The Grand Inquisitor is 70% of your impulse control and you know this Shiri. The Grand Inquisitor: I feel like Shiri is the more responsible one of us two though. Shiri: We are both 70% of each others' impulse control. The Grand Inquisitor: Just two lil beasts in pinwheel hats spinning on the merry-go-round at dangerous velocities, holding each other’s hands so the other doesn’t fall off.

Reva, reading a fortune cookie: If you kill a killer, the amount of killers in the world stays the same. Eighth, with a mouth full of takeout: Kill two

Fifth: I need you to come meet me, and I need you to come alone. Reva: And I need you to be less vague and weird.

Shiri: You remind me of the ocean. The Grand Inquisitor: Because I'm deep and mysterious? Shiri: No, because you're full of salt and you scare people.

#incorrect quotes #inquisitorius #here i go again with the insanity #shiri stuff

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nikkoliferous · 3 years

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One of the things I have absolutely loved about the Loki fandom over the three-plus years I've been a part of it is how we overanalyze things to death. How we will shamelessly write meta for days, picking apart the narrative framing, the writing, the characters' words and actions and mannerisms and how they relate to one another, and leave absolutely no stone unturned. We do this both for the movies we loved and the movies we couldn't stand. Nothing is sacred; no one is exempt. Like Loki, we are overthinkers by nature and we make no apologies for it.

....that's not something I imagined, is it?

Because it feels like that's off-limits for the TV series. Oh, sure, you're allowed to analyze why Loki may have had this or that reaction to something. But it had better be in a way that praises the writing because you're not allowed to express doubt or criticism about a single thing, be it the dialogue, the framing or the characters themselves. At least not without getting accused of being a hater who's just picking apart the show for no reason. (Note that this is different from people simply having differing interpretations of the same material; this is trying to shut down certain interpretations on the basis of "spreading negativity").

And I just find that both fascinating and sad. As @iamnmbr3 recently said to me, it feels like not only is Loki himself OOC but so is a large portion of the fandom. And even though it's not the case with every single person who likes the show, it makes it more difficult to engage with the fandom across the board. It makes it more difficult to want to engage with the fandom. Just kind of wondering if anyone else has been feeling that lately too.

#idk there just a lot of enforced toxic positivity in the fandom right now #and i find it very uncomfortable #it's not that every single person who likes the show is transforming into a tva agent before my eyes #but there's definitely a lot of that #much more so than i'm used to esp from the ragnarok-critical side of the fandom #pro-ragnarok people have always been kind of 'lalala i can't hear you fuck off with your negativity'#but seeing the same attitude now from ragnarok critics feels weird and disconcerting #i don't know what i'm saying right now #i'm just aimlessly bitching i guess #because it's my blog and i'll whine if i want to #but yeah #everything sucks #loki tv series #mcu #fandom wank #into the larryverse

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10verboy · 6 years

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again i’m sorry if i don’t seem as active or it takes me forever to respond to messages, i’ve recently deleted all my social media apps on my phone. i don’t know how long i’ll go without caving in and redownloading everything, but yeah.

#i don't really have a reason why i did it?#i've just found myself really unhappy with everything and aimlessly scrolling doesnt really help #and idk it feels like it takes a lot of energy for me to talk and hold up a conversation with. anyone anymore.#and to anyone i have recently talked to: y'all really have nothing to do with how i feel it's just? my brain being a bitch i guess #also; all my current works (which is just if i'm lucky and prove me wrong atm) probably won't be updated in a while #if like...ANYONE cares about them at all lmao.#but yeah i cant bring myself to be motivated enough to do anything anymore and it might be a bit before i can again #lots of love to anyone that bothered to read this <3 have a great day

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rixless · 2 years

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Just because i walk in darkness it does not mean that i am evil.

If you really loved me, would you turn you back on me just because i have used a needle.

I never lied to you, stole from you, or in any other way tried to deceive you.

Now all the friends I have left are shadow people.

While everyone I know wrote me off, my twisted path into the darkness never stops.

Alternating between crystal clear moments of clarity and nodding off.

The manager at another gas station is trying to run me off.

I guess 15% is all the charge my phone gots.

Still I better leave before this bitch calls the cops.

I dont have much juice so who can I call.

I dont have any family or friends left that care at all.

I got a g of slo and I am thinking about banging it all.

Drifting off sure beats banging my head against this wall.

Damn, how far is it possible to fall.

I better wait on the slo.

Being outside in winter is so cold.

I still got ice, what do you know.

So i bang .8 of the go.

Now im running fast even if I dont have anywhere to go.

If I can find people i will make something happen for sho.

My Hussle game is cold

So I am headed to the hotels in the hood.

The only place being a junkie or a meth whore is good.

They will bless you as long as you got a sack and some rigs, but that shit is understood.

They act like they wont but we know they would.

Them hoes be pros on the wood.

Pissing fire because they be zapping a fella good.

Now I am worse off because my pockets are low.

And i dont have even drugs to show.

The same bitches i hit yesterday, today act like I am somebody they dont even know.

Fuck it, I still have a point of slo and damn near a g of go.

So carefully I find a vein and pull it back real slow.

I am hoping the blood will show.

Ewww, i got a gush.

So I take my time and slowly I push.

Now I'm flying fast but at the same time I am straight falling.

Nothing feels as good as a desperate man speed balling.

Nowhere to go but it is gonna be alright

Me and my shadows are tight

They whisper secrets deep in the night

Fuck a gun they want me to use a knife

I can get it right or take a life

Someone Elses but as a last resort I can take mine.

Better than getting caught and doing all that time.

So i am just aimlessly walking through the city.

It is crazy how at 3 in the afternoon shit is so busy.

But 3 in the morning the shit is empty.

I am looking for a come up and I mean any.

Hitting cars, mailbox's and any bando that looks empty.

Having to dodge police plenty.

Hoping I am not just tripping, but out of desperation I kick in a door

I find a little cash and pistol and I am happy for the score.

Until cherries and berries outside have me scrambling for the door.

Catch my leg on a nail trying to get out the door.

Fuck i just left my DNA on the floor.

I cant do shit but shake my damn head

Hope them bitch ass cops don't see where I bled.

I keep the money but throw the pistol cuz serious violent offenders be going fed

At least a copped a little cash.

So its back to the hotels so i can get another bag and a little ass

never mind the 13 guys that tonight already had that ass

One mans future is another mans past.

Dick in the dirt but I am having a blast

I am not all the way white but i guess I am still trash

Running so fast

So far ahead I am coming in last.

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tragertrap · 4 years

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Intimidating || Juice Ortiz x Reader

Summary: (Y/N), although Jax's best friend, wants nothing to do with the motorcycle club that's fucking up her town. Well, at least that's the case until she meets a certain member of SAMCRO with a stupid haircut. Even though he seems too intimidating at first, (Y/N) learns to never judge a book by its cover when she gets a chance to see his softer side.

Having a best friend that works at an automotive repair shop definitely comes in handy for (Y/N), especially since her 'old ass disaster of a car' constantly breaks down.

"Wow, that's the 3rd time in a month (Y/N)!", Jax said before he let out a chuckle.

"You know I'm saving for a new one asshole." She hit his bicep playfully.

"I hope the best friend discount is still on", she mumbled.

"It expired after the forth time you used it darling."

"I'm sorry. It's just that... money's kinda tight right now."

"I can imagine..."

"Can I pay you back in pancakes?... or waffles? I know you won't deny waffles." She asked with an awkward smile on her face, hoping her best friend would accept.

"Have you not pay for the car AND poison me with your cooking? I think I'll pass", he teased her.

"I meant going to the diner outside of town but since you're being an asshole I guess the offer is off the table."

"Okay okay if you're not the one cooking, I'm down", he said, his smirk never leaving his face.

She couldn't help but laugh, thankful for her best friend being there to cheer her up.

"Thank you Jackie."

"My shift ends in half an hour. If you wanna wait we can go for pancakes after I'm done here", he said, putting an arm around her.

She had just left work, so the timing was perfect for a warm meal at a cozy diner with her best friend.

"Yeah, sure! I can wait."

They started walking towards the garage and the blond man started talking again: "You know I'd fix your car for free anyway but then you mentioned pancakes so I couldn't say no."

She narrowed her eyes and looked at him.

"You're lucky I love you Teller."

He laughed and gave her a kiss on the cheek, his arm still around her shoulder.

"Me and Chibs are just finishing off with an old bike and then we're good to go."

"Chibs?" she asked with a raised eyebrow as they were approaching the bike Jax was talking about.

"One of the guys... the Scottish one. Do you ever listen to me when I talk?"

"I was mostly asking because of the weird name but sure... Scottish one. Got it! One of your scary biker friends, right?"

He couldn't help but laugh yet again.

"Scary biker friends?"

(Y/N) loved Jax. The two immediately became best friends at a pretty young age when (Y/N)'s family had moved to Charming next to Gemma and John Teller's house. She loved him the way you'd love a brother, she was always there for him whenever he needed her but one thing she decided to stay completely away from was the club. She wouldn't approve of the outlaw lifestyle in the first place but also witnessing the mess it caused to her town, and most importantly her best friend, was only making it worse. She wouldn't ask any questions in case she'd get answers she wouldn't like. He was ok with it. More than ok with it actually. She was an escape for him to a carefree past and a light of positivity in his chaotic present.

She met the 'Scottish one' that was helping Jax fix the old bike and it went better than she expected. Once she got over his pretty intimidating look, scarred face, leather jacket and all, he actually seemed pretty nice and interesting.

She was sitting on a bench next to the two bikers working when she noticed another guy trying to fix a car nearby. Well, it was pretty hard for him to go unnoticed. He had a short dark mohawk and a tattoo on each side of it on his head, wounds on his face from god knows what and tattoos all over his arms and torso, that was now visible since his shirt was long gone. His muscular body was glistening from his sweat in the Californian heat and the muscles on his arms and upper back were moving in sync as he was working on the damaged car.

He had been over that car's engine for what seemed like forever and as much as she hated to admit it, (Y/N) wished she wasn't jealous of an old car. She had noticed the guy before, one of the many times she had to visit TM due to her shitty car, but that day she had the chance to take a 'closer look'.

His left hand was resting on the car's open hood now, giving her a better view of his muscular arm and flexing abs. The focused look on his face, lowered eyebrows and clenched jaw, made him appear even more intimidating and yet attractive, especially when he unconsciously licked his lips in deep thought.

"(Y/N)! (Y/N)?" her friend interrupted her watching of the 'show'. "Can you pass me that cloth over there?", he asked as he pointed to a gray piece of cloth on the bench she was sitting.

After that small interruption she was back at unapologetically starting at the tan guy nearby. She guessed that she had missed a lot since a small part of his abs was covered in grease now and his face seemed even angrier after the amount of failed attempts to start the car.

After some more conversation with Jax and Chibs, once she looked over at the mohawk guy again, he had already put his black shirt on, meaning that his job fixing the car was done. Later as he was putting a no-sleeve leather jacket on, which (Y/N) unfortunately recognised, he was aimlessly looking around when he caught the almost-drooling girl looking at him. She immediately dragged her gaze to Jax and Chibs, mostly out of embarrassment as well as some fear of his intimidating look. Next thing she knew, the mohawk guy was strutting confidently towards her and the two bikers, shoulders and arms swaying back and forth. He was wearing a pair of black sunglasses, no one knowing where his brown eyes were focused on.

"Hey brother", Chibs said with a smirk.

He answered with a simple 'hey' and a light hit on Chib's back and then did the same to Jax, after he took off his sunglasses and put them hanging outside his leather jacket's pocket.

(Y/N) didn't know if she should have been mad or relieved that the hot outlaw completely ignored her existence, exactly because he was a hot outlaw. Nevertheless, she was satisfied she could study the biker up close. He was wearing buggy cargo pants with chains hanging from one side near his waist and the black shirt she had noticed earlier was visibly a little too tight on his muscular chest. He put his hands in his pockets, as (Y/N) was staring at the veins and black tattoos on his arms that had started to fade.

"Jax, I wanted to tell you that I can't come with you guys tonight. I have something personal to take care of." He didn't give any further details since his brothers were not the only ones present. He was waiting for an answer from Jax with a frown on his face since the sun was getting into his eyes. (Y/N) noticed how his chocolate brown pupils appeared almost red against the sunlight.

"Yeah, that's okay. We're more than enough for tonight anyway. You can take the evening off."

"Awesome, thank you man", he said with a smirk as he lightly hit Jax's back.

He then shook his head up as an indication of saying goodbye, while maintaining eye contact with (Y/N), before he walked away.

Was that saying goodbye to me as well?

It was a goodbye to everyone.

He was looking at my direction though.

(Y/N) wasn't exactly loving the fact that she was enjoying this.

______

The hot pancakes Jax and (Y/N) were eagerly anticipating finally arrived at the table.

"Thank you darling", the blond biker said to the waitress while intensionally making his voice sound a little deeper. He was smirking the entire time while sitting all laid back, exuding confidence. The young girl gave him a cheeky smile and went her own way.

"Do you ever take a break?" (Y/N) questioned him sarcastically.

"A break of what?" Jax asked, a playful look on his face since he obviously knew what she was talking about.

"Hitting on innocent women."

"She was eyeing me since the minute we walked in."

The only way she could respond was with an unamused look.

"Also don't act all innocent to me. You're worse than I am", he said before letting out a chuckle and taking a big bite of his pancakes.

"What are you talking about? I don't hit on any person on a 18 feet radius, at any given time and place."

"Well yeah, that's because you're too scared to actually hit on them so you just stare from afar."

(Y/N) kicked his leg under the table.

"Ouch", he screamed in a playful manner while rubbing his leg. "You bitch", he whispered.

"That's not true."

"You were staring at Juice the entire time we were at TM. Didn't even say hello to him."

"Staring at what?" She asked while laughing, not even understanding that with the word Juice, Jax was refering to a person.

"The guy back at the garage. Mohawk and tribal tattoos. You were practically drooling over him."

"No I wasn't", she sounded offended.

"You can't hide from me girl. You know that. I know you better than I know myself."

"Ok he's hot... I was looking, yeah... but 'drooling over him' is an overstatement."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say", he raised his eyebrows while taking a sip of water.

"Jax!"

"You weren't even listening to what me and Chibs were saying."

"Actually I was actively trying not to listen to your club... business... stuff."

Jax rolled his eyes at her desperate attempt to change the subject.

"You could've at least say hello, you know. Dude doesn't bite."

"Are you sure about that? He looked like he could bite to me. If I'm being honest I was kinda scared of him."

Jax started laughing. "Scared? Of Juice? I can guarantee you he was more scared of you than you were of him."

"What do you mean?" she asked amused.

"Let's just say that not everyone has their way with women like I do."

"You're an idiot."

"No seriously, he'd get nervous even if he was around a female dog."

"What? He looked pretty confident to me. Intimidating. And scary as I said before."

Jax couldn't help but roll his eyes and sigh. "You know, underneath all the leather and the tattoos, we're still human. Didn't you like Chibs?"

"He was pretty nice I guess. Well, when I could make out what he was saying", she said referring to his thick accent.

"See? And Juice is even... milder...", he was trying to find the right word, "than Chibs. Dude's into technology and computers, coding and shit. He's a total nerd."

"He's still an outlaw biker. Seriously, could you ever imagine me being with someone like that Juice guy?"

"With the stupid haircut of his? Hell no, you deserve way better."

"Jax, I'm serious."

"Well... no, it's not the easiest thing to imagine, but you're full of surprises baby, I know that", he chuckled.

"A mohawk, head tattoos and chains hanging from his pants is a pretty big surprise though, don't you think? And these fucking leather jackets."

"I've told you a million times, they're called kuttes."

She couldn't help but roll her eyes.

"(Y/N), if you can be best friends with me, you can date a guy like Juice, trust me. Also I have chains on my pants too, should I be offended?" he was once again teasing her.

"Yes."

"You should meet him. And by meet him I mean like actually have a conversation." He was trying to find a reason for her to meet the Sons after all those years, meet the other part of him she had been avoiding for so long.

"I'm not getting into your club business shit for some boy, Jackie. Especially a boy with a fucking mohawk."

"I'm not asking you to get into the club shit. Trust me, I wouldn't want that", he was all serious now, "I'm just saying that you can meet the guys. They are my family. They... they're a part of me. You met Chibs, he was ok. You know we don't only talk about dead bodies and guns. We have other interests as well."

She was quiet, not knowing how to respond, so he continued:

"We are family (Y/N). They've been there for me through my hardest times, just like you have. Maybe you have more things in common than you think. Besides, I think you and Juice would make a great duo", he told his best friend, smirking after the last sentence.

_____

A few days later (Y/N) was heading to TM once again. She had agreed with Jax that when she'd come to pick up her car, she'd come in the clubhouse to meet the guys for the first time.

So there she was, nervous, walking slowly towards the clubhouse entrance. Second thoughts were taking over her mind.

I don't know if I'm ready for this. I'm not meant to be involved in this kind of stuff... with these kind of people. What am I supposed to have in common with a bunch of criminal bikers? If only it wasn't for this dumb, scary, hot ass Juice dude.

To her surprise the dumb, scary, hot ass Juice dude was sitting by himself on a bench outside the clubhouse.

Shit, shit, shit. Ok. Go talk to him. No I can't go talk to him. I have to walk right by him anyway, I should talk to him. What am I supposed to say? I can just say hello. Or hey. God just look away.

Juice was looking down at something so she hoped he wouldn't look up at her. She was getting closer, still overthinking.

I should ask him about my car. Or Jax... yeah, I should ask him where Jax is.

Juice looked up giving her a small smile that made her knees weak.

"Hey... you're Jax's friend right? If you're looking for him he's probably in the clubhouse", the tan biker spoke first, making everything way easier for her. The truth is he did know who she was, that's for sure. 'Jax's cute bubbly friend whose car was breaking down constantly.'

"Awesome, thank y-" she didn't finish her sentence. She had felt something against her ankles, so she looked down. To her surprise there was a small gray kitten slithering between her legs and rubbing its small head against her ankles.

"I think she likes you", Juice said with a wide smile, the kind where his eyes smile as well. Apparently that's why he was looking down earlier.

"It took her weeks to trust me and stop running away from me and now she's all up on you the minute she meets you. I'm kind of offended actually", he said before letting out an adorable laugh, while spreading his right arm close to (Y/N)'s shoes, making the kitten rub its face on his big palm. He eventually grabbed it and put it gently on his lap where he was sitting.

A 'badass' biker dressed in black leather, full of tattoos and with a fucking knife hanging off his belt, petting a small kitten that was purring loudly on his lap. The contrast in this image was pretty apparent, to say the least. (Y/N) was sitting there taking in this unusual sight before he spoke again:

"She's a stray. Found her by some trash cans a few weeks ago and fed her. Now she won't leave." He was busy petting the cat, only looking up to face (Y/N) by his last sentence.

What he said, along with his big smile at the end, warmed her heart. Maybe bikers do have feelings after all. He suddenly didn't appear all scary to her. She sat on the bench next to him and although confident, it took all the courage she had.

"Why don't you take her to the animal shelter?" she asked while petting the cute kitten that was still on his lap.

"I wanted to... but I couldn't", a loud laugh escaping his lips. "I tried, I promise", he added while raising his hands in the air in an 'I'm innocent' motion. "I mean look at that face."

The cat was looking up at them, its green eyes shining. She was still petting it, when her hand accidentally brushed against Juice's.

"She's so cute", (Y/N) said after a few moments of silence while looking at the kitten, in order to change the sudden awkward atmosphere.

"She is", he said softly while looking at the cat and then up to the girl next him, not knowing who he was referring to either.

"I wanted to take her home but I'm too busy for a pet, you know, with the club an' all. I'm not even home that much. I wouldn't want to neglect her."

"I've always wanted a cat, but never really made the decision. I... I would love to get her... Well, if you're okay with that of course."

"Yeah, of course", he exclaimed all excited, "it breaks my heart knowing she's out here day and night. Getting her a home is everything I could ask for... you're gonna have to let me visit her though."

A sexy smirk appeared on his face and (Y/N) responded with a lovely smile. Maybe meeting the club wasn't such a bad idea after all.

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artsyxloner · 3 years

Text

Not Just a Monster

Warning: blood, violence, death

27: Realization of the true enemy

It's has been a while since I had locked myself up in the quarantine room. Laying down on the mattress. I tried to ignore the huge Puddle of thick blood that was on the floor.

I know I was supposed to be strong but it was completely hard. By having —well the relationship was complicated we didn't Officially Announce we were together but now we never will because Hyun-Su doesn't feel the same way back.

I knew it was all because of that one boy, getting inside Head. I mean Hyun-Su didn't even let me explain and he rather listens to a boy he Barely knows and pushes me aside from the one who has helped him through thick and thin here and it doesn't mean anything over one little thing.

It was hard for me to, and I'm glad the others understood but I thought at least Hyun-Su would have I guess I should have gotten to know him better before jumping into things. I guess I was so Transfixed on feeling bad for him and knowing he was just like me. I didn't get to see this stubborn side of him.

Maybe the reasons why he is-is because of things that happened in his past but that doesn't mean everyone witnesses like that I guess he has major trust issues. It sure seems like it. When you're alone you have a lot to think about.

Maybe I had too much to think about sitting up, I saw a brown leather cover laying on top of a table. Did it seem to be oddly familiar? Maybe this will calm down my consuming thoughts. Dragging myself over to it I carefully picked it up and opened it.

For some reason, I skipped over the first page and went on to the others. It looked like a filed Journal of monsters Someone drew. They were really good. As I continued to search through this thing something fell out on my lap. Picking it up my eyes went wide.

It was a picture. But not just any pictures it was of me and three other people. A woman, a man, and an older boy that looked to be in his early twenties. They were all smiling being happy. I didn't understand was this, my family?

If so why is it in this journal? For some reason, I flipped back to the first page. And almost dropped the book. It was a drawling of them but they were all dead. Why was that even there? Were they killed? Was it by a human or a monster?

It had no writing just gruesome drawings. This helps me know what my family looked like but this doesn't give me any Perspective of who killed them? Something told me it was me in the back of my head but I quickly pushed that aside that was nearly impossible I wouldn't ever try and hurt someone like that.

Or even if I did I would go insane but while trying to stay sane. Because I don't know if I'll be able to handle that? Sliding the picture back in the book I closed it putting it back where it belongs even though it was mine I didn't want to look at it as a reminder that my family was gone.

Yes I should take it with me but I don't remember them and how can I miss them if I don't remember? No memory of any birthdays, family dinners or just watching tv together on Saturday nights?

I had to leave it for now maybe I'll remember one day. I for sure hope so because it was all fuzzy like a screen that has gone static. Getting up I began to search for a bag and start packing things for when I leave tonight.

I won't say anything I'll go anonymously. So no one will have to worry or question why I'm leaving it was for everyone's good. They don't need me like I said I just cause trouble. Heading out of the room. I was about to go to the small convenience store that had almost everything to flashlights, ropes, and first-aid kits.

But stopped when I saw Sang-Wook with Yu-Ri on his back as they passed me. Something was wrong as I heard her wheezing terribly. She must have run out of an inhaler. She could smother to death from lack of oxygen.

( Y'all, I have Severe asthma, and let me tell you it sucks when you don't have an inhaler anyone else? )

I began to follow him, even though I was leaving that still didn't mean I didn't care them I wanted to help. " how long has she been like this and without an inhaler?!" I shouted, Sang-Wook grunted, as he heaved her up as I could tell she was about to fall.

" she just had run out and for a while here!" I nodded the closest Drugstore wasn't far from here. He hand-thrown the keys to me. As we neared the entrance I felt a hard blow that made me go flying back. There were three loud thuds. As I landed on the side of my rib cage.

I cringed, gritting my teeth I could hear Yu-ri Coughing trying her best to breathe. As she sucked in the air, I half-way walked and crawled over to her but was kicked down. I hand gripped the keys in my hand, it was no surprise who I saw looking up.

It was him.

He had stepped on my wrist, bending down he grabbed the set of keys from me. " going somewhere?" He shook the keys in his grasp laughing a bit with a smirk plastered on his face. This little bitch?!

" give them back!" I spit, trying to get up he placed his foot on my chest stepping down on it. Making it hard for me to breathe too. " what's going on?" I heard someone say. The person who walked in it was Hyun-Su I didn't expect a reaction from him.

But when he looked down his eyes widened a bit. He glanced up at his 'friend' questionably? The boy raised his hand up Jingling the keys. " They were trying to leave." Why does he even care? " so?" I pushed his foot off me with all the strength I had.

Getting up, " why does it matter to you!" I began but was Interrupted. " it doesn't matter." Hyun-Su looked at me, I frowned. " if they report us, the soldiers will come." He said Plainly, was this that was all about?

I shook my head. " oh, yeah I would go and risk reporting us?!" I fired back, poking my finger in his chest. I hated this guy. I was so close to wanting to beat the crap out of him he's causing nothing but chaos around here.

" then why are you trying to leave?"

I stopped there for a minute Hyun-Su was the one questioning me now. I balled up my fist. " because there's someone that requires medical attention." I was so angry I began to cry. The last words of my sentence broke. As I blinked a few tears away.

I saw Sang-Wook from the corner of my eye picking up Yu-Ri. I motioned over towards her. " if you cared Hyun-Su you would stop letting this guy get in your head and see who the real problem is because it's not us yes things were difficult for you but did you ever think it was hard for me too?"

I couldn't control my tears anymore they came rushing down it was true it was hard for me but he didn't acknowledge that I was going through a hard time too. I didn't care if I was showing my Vulnerable side it showed that I still had a human heart.

I still had sympathy, I couldn't tell what emotion was going through Hyun-Su's eyes it was hard to read but he snatched the keys from the boy handing them to me. I quickly took them silently thanking him which didn't mean anything.

" Let them go, it's up to her now."

I was the last thing Hyun-Su said before we three made our way to the large opening that was caused by the tank. Sang-Wook began to run along with me to his side. She had to make it. But little did I know things don't turn out the way you want them to.

There was a loud bang that shot throughout the air. I turned my head to see a bullet flying through the air hitting Yu-Ri in the back. The impact of it made her let go of Sang-Wook.

I let out an Ear-piercing scream, seeing her blood splatter out from her back. I began to ran. They both were tipping over but that was good. I pushed them out of the way where the bullets wouldn't hit them anymore. They fell to the ground, " Go! I'll cover you!!!" I yelled. Sang-Wook got up and held on to Yu-ri tightly and began to run.

I heard the sound of more bullets being fired but this time I was the one getting hit in every direction. My body Flung back and forth. It was better for me than them. I hope they were going to be okay.

But soon there was another scream, it wasn't me this time but it sounded more like a boy. The bullets stopped flying, as I fell to the ground on my knees. Everything hurt. As I saw blood seeping in throughout my clothes small holes could be seen through them and my skin.

But I knew I would be okay. Looking up I saw Hyun-Su, he was running towards that boy. I could see his face was twisted in terror as his cries were let out loud. I checked behind me to see. Sang-Wook was lay down on the ground and Yu-Ri was laying her back on the dashboard limbs falling aimlessly.

No!

I was too late they were hit. I began to cry again, I wanted to go over and help them but Sang-Wook motioned me to go and help the others. As there were a loud crash and more screams and gunshots. I turned away running towards the action that was unfolding.

There he was standing in the middle of the room. Holding out a gun shooting people for the fun of it. I blocked there his shots so more people could get to safety. Most of them did. As more of the group came and got Byeong-II he was shot through the back of the chest.

" You never stop trying to get in my way!" I turned and saw his eyes going black. " so I'm just going to have to kill you myself since the first time didn't do the job!" He seethed, as his other arm shot out his hand gripped around my neck pulling me up in the air.

I could feel his fingers tightening Pressing down on my Windpipe. I struggled to breathe choking on my Saliva and air. I grasped his hand trying to make him loosen up but it wouldn't. My feet dangled in the air. I could feel my face turning red from the lack of oxygen.

I tasted blood, as I began to spite it up. More gunshots were fired. As I saw them hit his face but they Protruded out of his skin healing up as nothing had happened. My eye vision was going blurry again until I saw someone from the corner of my eye running towards us.

The person slammed into the boy that was trying to kill me. Both of their bodies flew to the side. As he let go of my neck I fell to the ground hard. Coughing like a fish out of water trying to catch my breath. It was Hyun-Su that tackled him they crashed into a room.

Wood, dust, glass went flying everywhere, I ducked. Hearing groaning, I stepped up about to go and help Hyun-Su but he was thrown out of the glassless window. He went sliding on the ground hitting the wall. Grunting, in pain Running over to him.

I bent down, " Hyun-Su! Are you okay?" I asked worriedly. He looked up and regret was filled in his dark browns. I pulled my hand up under his arm and around his back trying to help him up. I turned my face if was towards him. We were very close. Feeling his hot breath fanning mine as he breathed hard.

" Soo-Nico I'm—" but he was Interrupted by that one boy. He didn't get to finish what he was going to say. I held on to Hyun-Su tightly. " I should've known you were sulking after killing that woman!" I could see his footsteps inching close to us. He grabbed me by my face pulling me up.

" And you trying to defend him for it!!" That's when he threw me up against the wall my back colliding with the glass mirror. I could hear it shattering against my skin as the Ragged blades cut into me. " you both are the weak ones!!" He pushed me harder into the glass. I sucked in a sharp breath.

He then let go was I dropped to the ground next he went over to Hyun-Su. " do you want to know something funny? Let me tell you the truth." He grabbed Hyun-Su face now. That was mixed in with anger towards the boy who he thought he trusted. His jaw was clenched as he bared his teeth.

" you didn't kill anyone."

Hyun-Su face quickly switched into confusion, face lighting a bit in disbelief. The boy then hit him and his hand turned into a sharp spear and jabbed it through Hyun-Su's stomach pushing him up against the wall. I could hear him groaning and grunting in pain.

" because that woman was me." The boy smiled Sinisterly laughing. Like he was having a flashback of what had happened. His eyes were Shown through the broken mirror as his face repeated by it his black eyes the dominant view as he laughed crazily.

He then pulled the spear-like thing out of Hyun-Su as he fell to the ground. I was in pain as I watched the mirror fall on him. His face had so much mixed emotions I couldn't tell what will happen. His fist balled up as the boy started to talk again.

" Nobody can leave!"

He shot at the car as gas leaked out from it. Creating sparks that reached the gas as it soon caught on fire sending the place in a blaze. He had cut the swinging chandelier as his hood up he walked over towards Hyun-Su but his hand soon shot out from underneath the mirror all covered in blood, sweat and dirt.

His fingers and arm twitch and began to bending on all different types of ways as more spear-like things Poked out of his skin. Sliding up with blood covering them. I watched him in horror as he began to transform.

@xetherealbeautyx

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