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#i'm gonna go drive until i'm too tired to be angry
angelltheninth · 5 months
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hiiii do u write for windbreaker ?? if u do, can you do vinny hong x reader
Yes I write for Wingbreaker and yes, I can write for Vinny, I like him a lot.
Pairing: Vinny Hong x Reader
Tags: nsfw, smut, blowjob, morning sex, cum swallowing, sleepy sex, dirty talk
A/N: Excited to see him animated! He has one of the coolest designs.
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There's a few things that ca wake Vinny up when he's deep asleep. The best is food, but the other is your lips wrapped around his cock, not moving, just slowly sucking on it until he's so hard that it wakes him up fully. His mismatched eyes locked on the pretty sight, his cock twitching with acknowledgment, salty cum coating your tongue.
"I see someone couldn't wait for breakfast so you decided to make me one. Isn't that a bit too much for you to swallow first thing in the morning? Ah! Hey, don't take more! Careful, you're actually gonna choke. You're relentless aren't you? Just like me, going for that prize."
His hands are lazy and still tired in the way he pushes you away to see the sticky white string of cum on his tip and your lips. Thank god this isn't a dream because if it was he'd actually be pretty disappointed, like many times he's woken up hard and had no choice but to take a cold shower before biking to meet you. He can't exactly drive with a boner now can he, but now he has you to help with his problem.
"You caused this problem, you get rid of it for me. I'll keep watching you, there's something that's almost hypnotic in the way your lips close around my cock. Baby, you know you want it, we both know you've been holding back for my sake. I'm giving you permission to suck me off and wake me up properly. Make me come."
Vinny let his messy hair obscure his eyes so you couldn't see just how much lust there was. His pulsing cock let you know enough, it told you what he was still too sleepy to. This time you started bobbing your head up and down right away, nose touching the red pubic hairs above his cock every time, your tongue rolling over the angry tip, gulping every time it hit the back of your throat. It was ready for his cum, it was ready to swallow, and Vinny didn't dream of denying you such a salty treat.
"Gonna swallow every bit of my cum. Yeah, you're gonna be good for me and let me see you taking it. Couldn't have asked for a better way to wake up, but now... you'll have to do it every morning. You will right? Yeah? It'll be such a nice way to wake up to, you swallowing my cum for breakfast."
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wxshing-aep · 10 months
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Hiii, I saw ur request post!! could you maybe
write some dating Ethan morales hcs??💖
Dating Ethan Morales Would Include
pairing: ethan morales x reader (all characters are 18+) AN: this will be dating college!ethan cause i thought it'd be more interesting, also didn't proofread this warnings: swearing, gets nsfw in the second half so 18+ (minors dni)
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you met ethan when you were assigned to tutor him cause he was failing calc. you originally found him to be pretty obnoxious and got tired of his overly nonchalant attitude which culminated in you yelling at him about how he needs to start trying or he's gonna get kicked out. he made no move to respond to your angry rant and just stared back at you with wide eyes and blown out pupils. "what?" you question. "sorry, you're kinda really fucking hot when you're mad"
one of your study sessions ended with him pulling you onto his lap while you made out and his hands roamed your body
he got a little nervous asking you out on a real date even though you've already made out multiple times. he was a bit worried that you'd reject him. he wasn't sure if you'd want a serious relationship with him since he's got a bit of a womanizer reputation. (spoiler alert: you said yes)
his grades got a lot better once he actually started trying because he loved seeing how excited you'd get for him when he showed you a good grade that he got on a test
ethan's love language is definitely physical touch. he needs his hands on you at all times, normally around your waist or resting on your thigh. he's constantly drawing little shapes on whatever part of your bare skin he has access to. most of the time he doesn't even realize he's doing it
you go on a lot of late night drives that may or may not end with the two of you in the backseat of ethan's car
he loves when you wear his clothes but still consistently accuses you of robbing him. "wearing my jacket again, you little thief" "oh, did you want it ba-" "no"
he is your own personal hype-man, there is no shortage of compliments coming from him
"see you later, gorgeous", "damn, my girl looks sexy", "my girlfriend is the most beautiful person on the planet"
he lets you braid his hair when you're bored
he'll match his nail color to yours but will never admit that he did it on purpose and always insist that it was a coincidence
he gets very jealous, but will deny it if you call him out. you were once at a party very innocently talking to a male friend from your psych seminar about how hard your recent test was before ethan walked over to your conversation.
"oh hey, jack, this is my boyfriend ethan" you introduce him, "ethan, this is-" "yea, don't care" ethan interrupts before pulling you by the waist into a searing kiss until jack had left. "there's no reason to be jealous you know? he's just a friend" "i'm not jealous, but that loser was definitely eye-fucking you" "he was not eye-" "let's go make out"
ethan is very distracting when you're trying to study or do any homework
"baaaaaabe, i'm bored", he whines. "m'sorry but I really have to do this research paper" you respond. "or", he starts, closing the book in your hands and tossing it to the side of your bed, "you can take a much needed break and do me instead"
his friends call him whipped bc of how obsessed with you he is and he doesn't give a fuck cause he is in fact obsessed with you
he lets you color in his tattoos
he definitely tries to teach you how to skateboard and holds both your hands if you're too scared to let go of him
he got you a necklace with his initial on it and has a ring with your initial on it
nsfw 18+
that man definitely knows what he's doing in the bedroom cause, let's face it, he was a bit of a whore in the past
you guys have a lot of sex, like a lot of sex to the point where you might have gotten a few noise complaint's from the people that live next to your dorm room
he's a capital M Munch. ethan loves eating pussy, like he definitely does it for his own enjoyment. he could spend hours in between your thighs and any moans or whimpers coming from you just egg him on even more
ethan was so turned on when you agreed to sit on his face
"your face is pretty", you complimented him. "yea? you should sit on it" oh. "like sit on it sit on it?" "sit. on. it." "but what if I like suffocate you or something" "you won't, and if you did i'd die happy" so you did and holy shit does that boy know how to use his mouth. he wouldn't stop till you came on his face multiple times and your legs are shaking around his head
he keeps his hair long cause he likes when you tug on it while he's eating you out. it turns him on so much that he has to actively try not to cum in his pants while he's going down on you
ethan is very vocal, he's not afraid to let you know that he's enjoying it. he whimpers for sure. while he's definitely a giver he loves when you have your mouth on him. his mind goes fuzzy when you're blowing him, moaning your name, shaking under you
he's a bit of a sub and loves when you boss him around. ethan absolutely loses his mind when you choke him while you're riding him. he just loves seeing you on top of him, telling him what to do, using him for your own pleasure. he'll beg, especially if you're edging him
"baby fuck please i need it, i'll be your good boy i promise"
jealous!ethan is definitely more dominant though. "right there baby? look how wet you are for me. he can't fuck you like i can hmm? want you to cum on my dick like a good girl"
this man cannot hide when he's horny. he immediately gets super handsy and will be whisking you off to the nearest bathroom
he loves your boobs. holding them, sucking on your nipples, cumming on them if you're cool with that. your chest is rarely not covered in hickies.
you're obsessed with ethan's hands and he knows it. he knows how to use them and has no problem sneaking them into you under the table on a date night, only to remove his hands from you right before you finish and make a point of sucking the fingers that had just been inside you clean while holding eye contact with you and letting a smug look take over his face
he has a praise kink and definitely responds with "yes ma'am" when you boss him around. he's gotten turned on when you guys are arguing before, there's just something about you yelling at him that goes straight to his dick
if you wear a sundress, oh it's over for him. he'll have you bent over the nearest surface in seconds and the dress stays on.
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bellarkeselection · 3 months
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for cole walter, could you do one where reader replaces jackie (so her fam died and she moved in with the walter’s) and cole doesn’t really like her. one day she gets a cold, and cole takes care of her (begrudgingly) and realizes she isn’t so bad 🫶🏼🥹
Cole Walter Does Care
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Tag list- send me an ask to be added @cognacdelights @connieisthesun
I rolled over in my bed and felt a headache coming on the second I woke up which really sucked. Slowly sitting up I thought I would feel better that only seemed to make it worse. My nose was beginning to get stuffy and my throat felt dry. Footsteps came from the hallway and I heard whoever it was pause outside my door. “Hey Y/n, my mom is making breakfast. Woah you don’t look too good.”
“Thanks Alex - uh I didn’t know that.” I started coughing and then reached over needing to blow my nose into some tissues.
He entered my room with a sad expression. “I can get my mom to check you out if you want.”
“Please do.” I whimpered, sounding so helpless tugging the covers back over my chest.
He nodded, rushing out of the room and going downstairs to go get her. “On it, Y/n.” Once he was gone I yanked the coves over my head screaming and coughing into my blankets.
“Sounds like there’s a dying angry animal in here. Oh no sorry it’s just you Y/n.” I noticed the voice of Cole who when I peaked my head above the blanket saw that he was leaning in my doorway.
Grumbling under my breath I really wasn’t in the mood for his teasing. “Go away Cole. I’m not feeling good and you’ll just make it worse.”
“Ah now I’m offended since most people find my company to be quite enjoyable.” He walked into my bedroom sitting down on the side of my bed moving the cover down from my eyes so he could see some of my face.
“Well I d-don’t-“ I attempted to say but another coughing fit had to hit me right before his mother and Alex came back into my bedroom.
Catherine sat down and pushed Cole off the bed, putting a hand to my forehead. “Oh you're burning up. You'll just have to stay in bed today and miss the fair.”
“Okay Skylar and Tara won't be happy.” I responded in a tired breath.
She shakes her head eyeing her older son. “I'm sure they'll understand honey. Cole, I need you to stay and take care of her.”
“What the hell!” He raised his voice, accidentally cursing at his mother.
I sat upright on the pillows but had a coughing fit as a result. “No! He doesn't need to be here…”
“This is not up for discussion. Y/n you are really sick and Cole you will be staying home to take care of her. Because you're grounded after we found out you were sneaking girls out of the house. Come on, Alex.” She got to her feet and she left with Alex following her downstairs leaving us alone in my bedroom together.
Laying my head back down on the pillows I yanked the covers over my head screaming into it until Cole made a comment. “Don't think I'm happy about this either.”
“Oh sure. I'm sorry my illness prevented you from hooking up with Erin or Olivia or Paige!” I snapped at him.
His green eyes glared at me. “You don't have the right to judge my life.”
“Neither do you about me then!” I growled turning my back towards him.
Cole watched me for a little while hearing me doze off for a few hours of sleep. He sure found you annoying at times but there was something about you that he liked. It was the fact that you fought with him over the most ridiculous stuff. Most girls just fell at his beck and call except you. He walked around the room noticing a notebook laying on the desk. “Y/n's diary…hmm. I can't deny that I may have feelings for Cole even though he drives me nuts.” He debated reading it but when he flipped to one of the middle he heard you groan waking up.
“Cole, I'm gonna puke.” I moaned, struggling to get out from under the blankets.
He dropped the book rushing over to me, he put one arm underneath my shoulder and the other under the back of my knees carrying me through the door and across to the bathroom on this floor. “I've got ya…I've got ya.” He reassured me when I collapsed onto my knees puking in the toilet.
I felt one of his hands holding my hair back and the other was rubbing my back till I was finished. “Thanks Cole…”
“You’re welcome. See I'm not a total asshole.” He responded sitting across from me on the floor. His honey blonde hair was tossed and in his eyes like always.
Hugging my knees to my chest, my hair was a wreck and my nose was red. I looked like a complete mess and I didn't care for it one bit. His green eyes remained on me before I asked him not to handle the silence well. “If you wanna say something to me just go on and get it out, Walter.”
“I read part of your diary after you fell asleep. I know how you feel about me and honestly I'm shocked given how I've treated you.” He shrugged his shoulders like it was just a casual thing to say to someone.
I raised my voice in frustration grabbing a tissue when I had to sneeze two or three times. “You read my diary! Cole, you have no right to that. How much did you read - god I want to crawl in a hole now I'm so embarrassed.” Covering my face that was red as a tomato avoiding his gaze.
“Aren't you going to ask me how I felt about it?” Cole questioned with a curious look on his face.
Knitting my brows at the former star football player. “You’re telling me you have a crush on me. Yeah right. I'll believe it in another universe.”
“Do you believe me when I do this?” He shifted onto his knees coming closer to me.
Lifting my head up he cut my question off. “What are you doing-” His lips landed right on mine. Cole scooted closer and placed his hands on either side of my face. I wanted to push him away because I was sick and two because he shouldn't even couldn’t really be kissing me now.
Trailing my hands up his chest my arms wrapped around his neck and he moaned into the kiss after we had gotten closer. Cole tugged me up to sit down on his lap wrapping his arms around my waist holding me close to his chest as possible. “Cole, stop - Cole stop. We can’t be doing this.” Pushing my hands on his chest he drew back confused.
“Because you're sick. I don't care about that. I just needed you to know that I actually care about you, Y/n.” He declared still cupping my face on his hands green eyes so focused on me.
Moving one hand through his honey hair, my other drops to his shoulder blade. “I can't believe it, Cole Walter has a crush on me. Here I was thinking you hated me.” I chuckled with a half grin.
“Why did you think I only picked on you when you first got here. I figured you had a thing for bad guys in you somewhere. Just had to bring it out of ya, darling.” Cole tucked hair behind my ear before he could hear a lot of footsteps heading up the wooden stairs outside the shut bathroom door.
“What do we - uh do!” I sneezed where Cole gave me a tissue and I wiped my nose watching him get to his feet.
He scooped me up bridal style once more where I wrapped my arms around his neck enjoying the feeling of being in his arms like this. “Don't worry, we'll go to my room. They all know better than to go in there…now where we're we?” He carried me quickly out and into his room, closing and locking the door.
“Cole, I'm nowhere near ready for that kind of thing. Sorry if that disappoints you.” I apologize for crawling under the covers on his bed, blushing a deep shade of red.
He kicked off his shoes and got in beside me, gently pushing my head down in the crock of his neck so I would fall asleep. “I don't care about sleeping with you yet. I just wanted to see you blush.”
“Cole!” I punched his chest hearing him laugh and it was music to me considering he rarely ever laughs.
He kissed the crown of my head and watched my eyes begin to close shut. “I'm just playing with ya, Y/n. Now get some rest.” I closed my eyes and looped my hand with his freehand that wasn't playing with hair to make me dose off in his arms.
Comments really appreciated ❤️
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pablitogavii · 11 months
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heyy could you write maybe about the reader not going to sleep and gavi forces (like a little stern and stuff) them to go to sleep ??
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"Have you still not showered!? Amor it's almost midnight and you need to rest!" Pablo came back after throwing out the trash and you were still in front of your computer frantically trying to finish your essay that wasn't even due until the end of the week.
"Mhm.." was all you answered not really paying attention to his words since you were almost ready to start writing your conclusion paragraph.
Suddenly, Pablo closed your lap top and you were looking at him with a shocked face. Thankfully you always work in Google Drive so everything stays saved, but you were angry he just wouldn't let you finish this tonight if you wanted to do it!
"Pablo!" you whine but he was taking away your lap top plugging it in before coming back to where you were sitting in the dining room.
"Don't Pablo me! Come on, time to go to bed nena!" he said reaching out for my hand helping me get up from the chair and I still felt tempted to finish the very last paragraph.
"I have one more paragraph to do...and then I'll.." he would even let you finish that sentence as he was already tossing you over his shoulder smacking your ass while walking towards your bathroom.
"You are being so bratty tonight! What am I going to do with you nena? Huh?" he said after placing you down and turning on the shower.
"Let me do what I want?" you said smartly knowing that's never going to happen and Pablo turned towards you with his infamous smirk.
"Now that's not something I usually do princesa..come on now, arms up!" he said and you rolled your eyes knowing that would annoy him but still doing as he asked as he took off your clothes piece by piece and opened the door for you to step into the shower.
When you came out seeing your lap top plugged in on the sofa and no Pablo in sight, you quickly got dressed and walked towards it only to be interrupted by Pablo's coughs.
"Yeah, good try..get your perky ass to bed right now nena..or I'm gonna make it red!" Pablo said making your cheeks blush and you knew he would do such thing if you pushed him too far.
"I made you some camomile tea to help you relax and get some sleep" he said placing the cup on your nightstand and you smiled at his kind gesture.
When he got into his own pajamas (boxers and old Barça t-shirt), he joined you in bed smiling when he saw you sipping on your tea already yawning a few times.
When you finished the tea, you felt so sleepy that you could fall asleep sitting up. All the exhausting from the day finally set in and you were moving closer to Pablo out of instinct wanting to be held before letting yourself go to the dreamland.
"There we go, put your head right there on my chest and get some rest..mi nena buena" Pablo praised moving his fingers through your hair gently while you nuzzled your face into his neck taking in his strong scent.
"Thank you for taking care of me amor..I needed some rest" you admit looking up at him and he smiled proudly nodding his head before leaning down and capturing your lips in a sweet kiss.
"If only you would listen to me more often princesa.." he teased and you whined shaking your head before moving even closer tossing one of your legs aver both of his wanting desperately to play with his hair.
"Pablito??" you used the nickname whenever you really wanted something and he knew it very well.
"What does my princesa want now? Huh?" he said smiling down at you secretly admiring just how beautiful you looked in that moment with messy hair and tired eyes.
"Can I play with you hair please?" you say blushing a little and he smirked nodding his head while kissing the top of your nose playfully.
"It's all yours preciosa.." and those words were enough for your fingers to start massaging his scalp while you cuddled close to him and closed your eyes feeling safe, loved and ready to get some very needed rest <3
Hope you enjoyed the story anon :)
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merakiui · 10 months
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Meraaaaaa Geppie has been holding me trapped in a brainrot lately...
Insatiable Geppie who gets soooooo damn horny and pussy drunk!
"I'm sorry dear! I'm sorry darling! Pleaseese let me go for another round! I'm sorry I got hard again! You just look so cute like this... You'll let me go for another round right?"
(It wasn't a question, you don't have a choice.)
Man is gonna go for his 15th round tonight <3 he is just soooo horny! His horniness could be compared to a teen boy who just discovered a p*rn magazine, but unlike a teen boy, our man Geppie has a stupid amount of stamina! His libido is absolutely unmatched, he works out regularly so his fitness strengthens his sex drive even more!
I bet Geppie has been so pent up these past few years, he wasn't aware on how pent up he was until he met Darling <3 oh so very cute and breedable! He is just horny gripping! He apologizes soooo much but he isn't really sorry if that soppy cunt is begging for more!
You can yell no! Or tell him to stop, but he will pretend he can't hear and continues~ he is insatiable!
"Geppie go for any longer and I will die~ it's hurting Geppie! Geppie stop I'm tired!" You whine.
"Shhh shhh one last round honey(it won't be), you can do that for me can't you?" He just coos the entire time... It felt kinda patronising. Your cries fall on deaf ears.
You probably won't be conscious during after care, but he gets really soft! (As long as his dick stays soft and his balls are emptied) he will run a bath for you and treat you gently. Get angry all you want once you wake up, he will apologize profusely but we all know he would do it again...
Hmmm maybe a Yandere Gepard? Who only comes out after dating.... Yan!Geppie who ignores your safeword and babytraps you!?!
(⁠๑⁠♡⁠⌓⁠♡⁠๑⁠)
(btw Mera! Take care of yourself, stay hydrated!! Xoxo)
AAAAAAA IZUNA, YOU FEED ME TOO WELL OMG….. orz he gets the most pussy-drunk, and when he’s like this, dazed out of his mind and focused solely on making you feel good, seeing you cry from sheer pleasure, feeling you squeeze and tighten up around him each time you cum… he loves you so, so much; you’re just the sweetest, cutest darling he’s ever had the honor of loving!
I think, along with Gepard being so secretly horny after he’s fallen for you, that he gets so worked up over the smallest things. Like if you wear something modest. It shows no skin, isn’t tight, and is simply just comfortable on you. Maybe a sweater (even better: one of his sweaters, and it doesn’t matter what your height is because you’ll likely drown in it because he’s just so broad-shouldered and big, so the sweater looks oversized on you)!!! That has him horny gripping so badly omg. Gepard thinks about that all day during his patrols and near the end he’s insatiable. He can’t wait to get home and fuck you while you wear his sweater.
He’s probably preferential to missionary. I feel like it’s his favorite position because it’s just so romantic and sweet and intimate to him. That and fucking you on your side from behind so he can wrap his arms around you and hold you close against his chest. <3 he has so much stamina and since he’s only just fallen in love and started having sex at his age he’s so ready to explore every inch of you and more!!
Regarding Gepard who becomes yandere after dating!!!!! He was the model boyfriend for so long, albeit a little awkward at times. But he’s just so sweet and doting. He cares about you immensely and is the perfect husband material. You’ve been dating long enough that Gepard thinks it would be okay to propose you live with him from now on. And miraculously, you agree! He’s so happy that he helps with the entire process, easily assisting with packing your things away into boxes and lifting and carrying them to wherever you need them to go. He can’t wait to start living with you! And maybe soon he’ll propose… he has the ring; he just needs to wait for the right moment.
He’s always thought of starting a family. It’s lingered in his mind whenever he looks at you and sees you doing anything domestic or anything you’re particularly fond of. He imagines you passing your hobbies onto the children, all of them seated at your feet while you sit in a rocking chair, pregnant with another child, and teach them how to draw or crochet or write or anything else you find fun in doing often. It’s such a vivid picture in his mind that he absolutely must make a reality! Gepard realizes that since you’re still young you’ll likely be very fertile and so he hopes that it’ll only take a few rounds until you eventually, hopefully, fall pregnant.
Even if you’re squirming under him, telling him to pull out, using the safe word, whimpering that you’re scared and don’t want him to cum inside, that it isn’t a safe day, he can’t help it. You’ll have to forgive him. He’s just so in love with you, so drunk on the feeling of your pussy wrapped around his cock, so infatuated with the idea of a domestic life, of a house full of children, of becoming a parent alongside you. He’ll be the best father! He’ll help you with each and every pregnancy! There’s nothing to be scared of. Geppie’s here to take care of you, so there’s no need to cry. But then you’re crying because you’re so happy, right? Because you want this, too.
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layce2015 · 7 months
Text
Supernatural (Dean Winchester x Female!Reader)
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Lucifer Rising
Masterlist pt 1
Masterlist pt 2
Dean was staring out the window, brooding. We had returned from the motel to Bobby's house and told Bobby what happened...well, I told Bobby. Dean didn't really speak much since we left and I was honestly scared to say anything to him. 
I know he's hurt and angry, so was I, but I just didn't know what to say to him. The whole drive back, we sat there in silence and I placed a comforting hand on his leg. He lowered his right hand and goes to grab my hand and, at first, I was worried he was gonna reject my comforting hand but he took my hand in his and held onto it, tightly. I ran my thumb over his knuckles and the two of us stayed like that until we made back to Bobby's.
"Dean? Dean! You listen to a word I said?" Bobby asked Dean. "Yeah, I heard you. I'm not calling him." Dean said. "Don't make me get my gun, boy." Bobby threatened and Dean turns to face him. "We are damn near kickoff for Armageddon, don't you think we got bigger fish at the moment?" Dean asked him.
"I know you're pissed. And I'm not making apologies for what he's done, but he's your--" Bobby started to say but Dean talks over him. "Blood? He's my blood, is that what you were gonna say?" he asked. "He's your brother. And he's drowning." Bobby said. 
"Bobby, we tried to help him, we did. Look what happened. He almost killed Dean..." I said. "So try again." Bobby said and Dean shakes his head. "It's too late." He said. "There's no such thing." said Bobby.
"No, damnit! No. I gotta face the facts. Sam never wanted part of this family. He hated this life growing up. Ran away to Stanford first chance he got. Now it's like déjà vu all over again." Dean yells as he goes to sit down. "Well, I am sick and tired of chasing him. Screw him, he can do what he wants." Dean growls and I look at Bobby then back at Dean.
"You don't mean that." I said and Dean looks up at me. "Yes I do, (y/n). Sam's gone. He's gone. I'm not even sure if he's still my brother anymore. If he ever was." Dean said and I felt pity for him while Bobby turns and leans on the table, fuming.
"Dean..." I started to say, softly, when Bobby makes a big angry sweep with his hands, tossing books and papers to the ground. He advances on Dean, who stands. "You stupid, stupid son of a bitch! Well, boo hoo, I am so sorry your feelings are hurt, princess! Are you under the impression that family's supposed to make you feel good?! Bake you an apple pie, maybe? They're supposed to make you miserable! That's why they're family!" Bobby yells at him, which made me jump back at this. 
"I told him, you walk out that door, don't come back and he walked out anyway! That was his choice!" Dean yells back at him. "You sound like a whiny brat. No, you sound like your dad. Well, let me tell you something. Your dad was a coward." Bobby sneers. "Oh no." I muttered as Dean glares at Bobby. "My dad was a lot of things, Bobby, but a coward?" Dean said, questioning.
"He'd rather push Sam away than reach out to him. Well, that don't strike me as brave. You are a better man than your daddy ever was. So you do all of us a favor. Don't be him." Bobby said and Dean turns back to staring out the window.
Bobby and I lower our heads and look at the floor then I raise my head up to see Dean gone. "What the hell?" I said and Bobby looks up to see him gone as well. "Where did he go?" Bobby asked and I start to put two and two together. "The Angels." I said and now I start to get worried.
*3rd Person POV*
Dean turns around, only to find himself in a large, lavishly appointed room. The walls are painted white with gold trim and accents, and a marble table stands in the center. "Hello, Dean." a voice said behind him and he turns to see Castiel standing behind him. "It's almost time." He said and Dean furrows his brow at this.
*(y/n)'s POV*
​​​​​​"Well, what now?" Bobby asked as I sit in a chair, head in my hands. "I don't know, Bobby. I wish to God, I knew what was going on..." I groaned as my head felt heavy. "You okay?" Bobby asked and I shake my head. "Honestly, Bobby, I'm not sure. Sam drinking demon blood, Dean now angel-napped by the freakin' angels since he basically told them he'll be their bitch, and I'm just...I haven't gotten alot of sleep lately and feel just...worn down and now the apocalypse looming over us...it's just...too much." I cried then I look back at Bobby. 
"Sorry, about the bitchin'..." I said and Bobby places a hand on my shoulder. “You don’t need to apologize. This is some serious crap we’re stuck in.” Bobby said. “That’s an understatement. I miss the days when this job was just about vengeful spirits and folklore monsters.” I muttered, rubbing my forehead.
“You ain’t the only one. I’m getting too old for this crap.” Bobby grumbled and I let out a weak chuckle. “Alright, Sam’s gone, the angels got Dean, and we’re stuck here with our thumbs up our asses. What are we gonna do?” Bobby asked. I let out a heavy sigh, shaking my head. “I guess…I guess the only option is to try and find Sam. He’s all we got left right now. Maybe after hearing that Dean got angel-napped he’ll snap out it and help us.” I said, a bit of hope in my voice. “Dean’s still his brother. He’ll come back around for him.” Bobby assured me. “I hope so.” I muttered, thinking back to the last thing Dean said to him.
Bobby patted me on the shoulder and walk around his desk. “Alright, I’ll stay here and call some hunters. Maybe someone has seen Sam or has any idea where the angels might have taken Dean.” He said, sitting down and pulling out a book full of contacts.
I nodded. “Call me as soon you got something.” I said, standing up and walking to door. “You got it. And (Y/n)...” Bobby said, I stop in doorway of the library the led into the hallway, and turn back to look at him. “We’ll get the boys back.” He assured me, I smile slightly and nodded.
*3rd Person POV*
Dean pokes around the room, looking at the magnificent pastoral paintings on the walls. He turns back to the table and finds that it now holds a silver bowl packed with ice and full of beer bottles, and a large platter of hamburgers. He picks up a beer bottle and looks at it.
"Hello, Dean. You're looking fit." A voice said and Dean turns to see Zachariah. "Well, how 'bout this? The Suite Life of Zach and Cas." Dean jokes, setting the beer down, but the two angels look at him, blankly. "It's a...never mind. So, what is this? Where the hell am I?" Dean asked them
"Call it a Green Room. We're closing in on the grand finale, here. We want to keep you safe before showtime." Zachariah said then he indicates to the food on the table. "Try a burger. They're your favorite. From that seaside shack in Delaware. You were 11, I think." Zachariah said. "I'm not hungry." Dean said. "No? How about Ginger from season 2 of Gilligan's Island? You do have a thing for her, don't you?" Zachariah asked and Dean furrows his brow at him.
"I have a good woman, thank you. Let's...bail on the holodeck, okay? I want to know what the game plan is." Dean said. "Let us worry about that. We want you...focused, relaxed." Zachariah said. "Well, I'm about to be pissed and leaving, so start talking, Chuckles." Dean said, impatiently, and Zachariah sighs. "All the seals have fallen. Except one."
"That's an impressive score. That's...that's right up there with the Washington Generals." Dean jokes. "You think sarcasm's appropriate, do you? Considering...you started all this? But the final seal...it'll be different." Zachariah said. "Why?" Dean asked. "Lilith has to break it. She's the only one who can. Tomorrow night -- midnight." Zachariah said.
"Where?" asked Dean. "We're working on it." Zachariah said. "Well, work harder." Dean demanded. "We'll do our job. You just make sure you do yours." Zachariah said, in a firm tone. "Yeah, and what is that, exactly? If I'm supposed to be the one that stops her, how? With the knife?" Dean asked, angrily. "All in good time." Zachariah said.
"Isn't now a good time?" Dean asked, annoyed. "Have faith." Zachariah said, smirking. "What, in you? Give me one good reason why I should." Dean challenged and Zachariah gets in Dean’s face. "Because you swore your obedience. So obey." Zachariah growls and Dean looks past him at Castiel, who looks down guiltily.
*(y/n)'s POV*
After Bobby drops me off to my safehouse, I go up to the shed behind it and enter inside. Then I walk over to the cloth tarp and pull it off, revealing my motorcycle. I smile as it has been awhile since I've driven this and I kinda miss it.
I grab the keys out of the bowl on a table nearby. I mount the bike, turning it on and felt the engine come on. The roar of the bike makes me smile as it only reminds me the times Dad took me on this bike when I was a kid.
I rev up the engine and start to take off back to Cold Springs, maybe going back there and find clues will help find Sam.
I had been driving for awhile when I felt a pain sear through my head, like a sudden headache. I groan and then pull my bike on the side of the road, to avoid any traffic, then shut it off. I take my helmet off and place my hands over my head as the pain kept hitting me. Then I got flashes of a hospital, then a woman and then Sam and Ruby. I let out a yell as the flash shift and they had the nurse tied down to a table, her eyes black.
"Sam..." I groaned as my head felt like it was gonna split open. Then it subsided and I start takes some deep breathes and let them out. Oh God, are my visions coming back?!​​​​​ I thought as I regain myself and slowly get up on the motorcycle.
Once my head was cleared, I opened my phone and dialed Bobby's number. "Bobby, I think my visions are coming back." I said to him.
*3rd Person POV*
After the angels left, Dean paced along the room, holding his phone and considers it. "Ah, screw it." he mutters and he opens the phone and dials. "It's Sam. Leave me a message." Sam's voice-mail said then there was a beep.
"Hey, it's me. Uh..." Dean starts before he clears his throat. "Look, I'll just get right to it. I'm still pissed...and I owe you a serious beatdown. But...I shouldn't have said what I said. You know, I'm not Dad. We're brothers. You know, we're family. And, uh...no matter how bad it gets, that doesn't change. Sammy, I'm sorry." Dean said, his voice shaking a bit before the voice-mail beeps then he hangs up.
Minutes, or hours Dean didn't know, when by and he began to get frustrated. He pokes at one of the numerous figurines on one of the many mantlepieces and tips it deliberately to the ground. It shatters with a crash just as Castiel appears behind him. Dean turns around, looking slightly guilty.
"You asked to see me?" Castiel asked him and Dean clears his throat. "Yeah, listen, I, uh, I-I need something." Dean said. "Anything you wish." Castiel said. "I need you to take me to see Sam." Dean said. "Why?" Castiel asked him. "There's something I got to talk to him about." Dean replied.
"What's that?" Castiel asked. "The B.M. I took this morning." Dean said, sarcastically. "What's it to you? Just make it snappy." He said. "I don't think that's wise." Castiel said. "Well, I didn't ask you for your opinion." Dean growls.
"Have you forgotten what happened the last time you met?" Castiel asked him. "No. That's the whole point. Listen, I'm gonna do whatever you mooks want, okay? I just need to tie up this one thing. Five minutes -- that's all I need." Dean said. "No." Castiel said, firmly.
"What do you mean, no? Are you saying that I'm trapped here?" Dean asked. "You can go wherever you want." said Castiel. "Super. I want to go see Sam." Dean said. "Except there." Castiel said.
"Then I want to see (y/n)." Dean said. "Why?" Castiel asked. "Cause she's probably losing her mind on where I am. Just want to talk to her." Dean said. "Fine. I'll go with you." Castiel said. "Alone." Dean said. "No." Castiel said. "You know what? Screw this noise. I'm out of here." Dean growls and he heads for the door.
"Through what door?" Castiel asked and Dean turns to face him, frowning. When he turns back, the door has been replaced by a smooth wall. He turns back to face Castiel, who has also disappeared. "Damn it." Dean growls, angrily.
*(y/n)'s POV*
I made it to the Cold Springs and was getting off of the bike and started to walk along the street when a sharp pain goes through my head. I placed my hands over my face as I got another vision and this time I see Sam and Ruby sitting in a car while a female voice was screaming from the trunk.
Then it switched to when they had the girl tied down and she was saying something but the only words I made out was St. Mary's.
Then I came back to and I shake my head. I go and dig in my pocket to pull out phone and dial Bobby's number. But as I raise my head I noticed I wasn't in the town of Cold Springs but a very fancy looking room, white and gold. "What the hell?" I said as I heard the dead tone on my phone.
"(Y/n)?" A voice said and I put away my phone in my pocket and turn around to see Dean. "Dean!" I exclaimed, relieved, and I run over to him and we hugged. 
"Now you have her, will you quit hurling feces like a howler monkey? It's unbecoming." A different voice said and we pull back from our hug and I see an older man with little to no hair wearing a business like suit. Then the man nods at me. "Hello, Ms (l/n). I'm Zachariah." He introduced and Dean goes to push me behind him, protectively.
"Let us out of here." Dean demanded. "Like I told you: too dangerous out there. Demons on the prowl." Zachariah said. "I've been getting my ass kicked all year. Now you're sweating my safety? You're lying. I want to see my brother." Dean yells. "That's...ill-advised." Zachariah said.
"You know, I am so sick of your crap riddles and your smug, fat face. What the hell is going on, huh? Why can't I see Sam? And how am I gonna ice Lilith?" Dean asked him, angrily, and Zachariah sighs. "You're not...Going to ice Lilith." He said and I furrow my brow at this.
"What?" Dean and I asked. "Lilith's going to break the final seal. Fait accompli at this point. Train's left the station." Zachariah said. "But me, (y/n) and Sam, we can stop..." Dean said but then he stops. "You don't want to stop it, do you?" he asked and Zachariah smiles. "Nope. Never did. The end is nigh. The apocalypse is coming, kiddo, to a theater near you." he said.
"What was all that crap about saving seals?" I asked him, angrily. "Our grunts on the ground -- we couldn't just tell them the whole truth. We'd have a full-scale rebellion on our hands. I mean, think about it. Would we really let 65 seals get broken unless senior management wanted it that way?" Zachariah said and my jaw drops at this. 
"But why?" Dean asked and Zachariah shrugs. "Why not? The apocalypse? Poor name, bad marketing -- puts people off. When all it is is Ali/Foreman. On a...slightly larger scale. And we like our chances. When our side wins -- and we will -- it's paradise on earth. Now, what's not to like about that?" He asked. "What happens to all the people during your little pissing contest?" Dean asked. "Well...you can't make an omelet without cracking a few eggs. In this case...truckloads of eggs, but you get the picture. Look...it happens. This isn't the first planetary enema we've delivered." Zachariah said.
And it seemed that Dean was looking at something as Zachariah was following his gaze. "Uh, no, Dean. Probably shouldn't try to bash my skull in with that thing. Wouldn't end up too pleasant for you." He said. "What about Sam? He won't go quietly. He'll stop Lilith." I yelped and Zachariah inhales deeply. "Sam...has a part to play. A very important part. He may need a little nudging in the right direction, but I'll make sure he plays it." Zachariah replied.
"What does that mean? What are you gonna do to him?" Dean asked him. "Sam, Sam, Sam. Marcia, Marcia, Marcia. Forget about him, would you? You have larger concerns. Why do you think I'm confiding in you? You're still vital, Dean. We weren't lying about your destiny. Just...omitted a few pertinent details. But nothing's changed. You are chosen. You will stop it. Just...not Lilith, or the apocalypse. That's all." He explains. 
"Which means?" Dean asked and Zachariah gestures to a painting on a wall of an angel flying over another winged person with his spear raised, as if he's going to stab him. "Lucifer. You're going to stop Lucifer. You're our own little Russell Crowe complete with a surly attitude. And when it's over...and when you've won...your rewards will be...unimaginable. Peace, happiness...two virgins and seventy sluts. Oh, I mean seventy-one sluts, gotta add Ms (l/n) there." He chuckles and I glare at him.
"What did you just say?!" I growled and Dean holds me back from attacking this asshole. "Trust me -- one day, we'll look back on this and laugh." Zachariah said. "Tell me something. Where's God in all this?" Dean asked him. "God? God has left the building." Zachariah replied and my eyes widen, in shock, at this.
*3rd Person POV* 
Dean kept attempting to call Sam again while (y/n) paces the room. "So your visions are back?" Dean asked (y/n) as he tries to call Sam. "I guess...I honestly didn't get much except for the words, St. Mary's." (Y/n) said as Dean listens into his phone but could hear only static. "You can't reach him, Dean. You're outside your coverage zone." Castiel said as he appears behind the two and they turn to him.
"What are you gonna do to Sam?" Dean asked him. "Nothing. He's gonna do it to himself." Castiel said. "What's that supposed to mean?" (y/n) asked and Castiel looks down. "Oh, right, right. Got to toe the company line." Dean grumbles and he sighs.
"Why are you here, Cas?" He asked him. "We've been through much together, you and I. And I just wanted to say, I'm sorry it ended like this." Castiel said to him. "Sorry?" Dean said, disbelieving, then he punches Castiel, who hardly flinches. (Y/n) jumped a bit at this while Dean turns and flexes his hand in pain. "It's Armageddon, Cas. You need a bigger word than sorry." Dean yells at him.
"Try to understand -- this is long foretold. This is your..." Castiel started to say but Dean talks over him. "Destiny? Don't give me that holy crap. Destiny, God's plan...It's all a bunch of lies, you poor, stupid son of a bitch! It's just a way for your bosses to keep me and keep you in line! You know what's real? People, families -- that's real. And you're gonna watch them all burn?" Dean yelled.
"What is so worth saving? I see nothing but pain here. I see inside you. I see your guilt, your anger, confusion. In paradise, all is forgiven. You'll be at peace. Even with Sam and (y/n)." Castiel said and Dean glares at him. "You can take your peace...and shove it up your lily-white ass. 'Cause I'll take the pain and the guilt. I'll even take Sam as is. It's a lot better than being some Stepford bitch in paradise. This is simple, Cas! No more crap about being a good soldier. There is a right and there is a wrong here, and you know it." Dean said and Castiel turns away.
"Look at me!" Dean shouts and he grabs Castiel's shoulder and turns him back to face him. "You know it! You were gonna help me once, weren't you? You were gonna warn me about all this, before they dragged you back to Bible camp. Help us -- now. Please." Dean said, gesturing between him and (y/n).
"What would you have me do?" Castiel asked him. "Get us to Sam. We can stop this before it's too late." (y/n) said. "I do that, we will all be hunted. We'll all be killed." Castiel said. "If there is anything worth dying for...this is it." Dean said and Castiel shakes his head and looks down. "You spineless..." Dean said as he turns and walks away. "…soulless son of a bitch. What do you care about dying? You're already dead. We're done." Dean said.
"Dean --" Castiel mutters. "We're done!" Dean yells at him and he turns to look behind him, but (y/n) was the only one standing there.
Castiel was standing at a riverfront, staring out at the water as he thinks over what Dean had said. He started to feel some sort've emotion after the argument he and Dean just had. And Castiel had no idea what else to do or where to go after this.
He lowers his head then sighs. "Ariel..." he mutters, as if she could hear him. He wasn't for sure if she'd come but he needed to try; to help Dean, Sam and (y/n), he needed her help. Castiel looks upwards towards the sky and begins praying, hoping that Ariel will hear it.
“Ariel, you were right, I regret taking my order. I know they are wrong but still I follow them. As you said it, I’m scared. I’ve been a loyal servant of Haven for so long, that idea of thinking for myself is terrifying. I wish I could go back to how things were before." Castiel said before he sighs again. "Before I raised Dean Winchester out of hell. Everything seemed so much simpler. But I can’t, I’m here now and I know that keeping Dean and (Y/n) from Sam is wrong. Not just wrong, dangerous. You’re brother, Lucifer should never be released. He and Michael will destroy this beautiful planet. Destroy God’s greatest creations. I can’t turn a blind eye anymore…I don’t want to. The first time we spoke, you said no one can tell me what to do. No one but myself. But please…just this once. Give me advice on what to do. Please help me.” he said, a bit desperately, and he looks around himself but doesn't see her.
His heart sank as he started to think Ariel was ignoring him and he goes to turn around, only to see Ariel standing behind him. He stops and stares at her, shocked, and she smiles. "What took you so long?" She asked, jokingly.
Back at the hostage room, Dean and (y/n) pace along the room. Dean pauses in front of the platter of hamburgers and considers, (y/n) walks up next to him. He takes one, when s,uddenly, Castiel appears behind them, grabs them by the shoulder, and shoves both of them against the wall, pressing his hands over Dean's and (y/n)'s mouths and drawing a knife. A moment passes while they stare at each other, then the couple nods slightly.
Castiel lets them go then he draws the knife across his forearm and takes the blood with his other hand, smearing it on the wall to form the angel banishing sigil. "Castiel!" Zachariah shouts as he appears. "Would you mind explaining just what the hell you're doing?" He asked while Castiel  finishes drawing and slams his hand in the center of the sigil. In a violent flash of white light, Zachariah vanishes.
Castiel looks around himself then Ariel appears behind (y/n). "Is he gone?" Ariel asked, making (y/n) and Dean jump. "What the hell?" (Y/n) said, startled. "Who the hell are you?" Dean asked her. "This is Ariel, she's an angel." Castiel said, gesturing to her. "Just know that I'm here to help. We have to find Sam now." Ariel said to Dean and (y/n).
"I think I kinda know where. I had a vision before Zachariah angel-napped me and I remember hearing something about St. Mary's." (Y/n) said and Ariel and Castiel share a look. "It's a start." Ariel said and Castiel nods. "I think I know someone who will know what that is." Castiel said then Ariel turns to Dean and (y/n).
"We have to stop him from killing Lilith." She said.  "But Lilith's gonna break the final seal." Dean said. "Lilith is the final seal. She dies, the end begins." Ariel informs and Dean's and (y/n)'s eyes widen at this.
Chuck is on the phone with an escort service, pacing in his kitchen. The document on his computer screen reads Supernatural – Lucifer Rising by Carver Edlund. "Oh, yeah? Really? At the same time? Really? Wow. T-that sounds...moist." Chuck said into his phone and the woman laughs. "Well, it can be."
"Uh, what are your rates?" he asked. "We can get you one girl, one hour -- $1,000." the woman explains. "Okay. Then, uh, I'll take 20 girls for the whole night." he said and the woman on the phone was taken aback by this. "I'm not sure you can afford that." she said. "Lady, sometimes you got to live like there's no tomorrow." Chuck said when Castiel, Dean, (y/n) and Ariel appear suddenly and Chuck looks up in shock at them.
"Wait. T-t-this isn't supposed to happen." Chuck stammers. "Sir?" the woman asked and Chuck turns back to his phone. "No, lady, this is definitely supposed to happen, but I just got to call you back." he said and he hangs up and looks between the four.
"So, St. Mary's is a convent?" Dean asked Chuck after he told them the information they needed. "Yeah, but you guys aren't supposed to be there. You're not in this story." Chuck said. "Yeah, well..." Castiel said then he glances at Dean, (y/n) and Ariel. "We're making it up as we go." He said.
Then Chuck's computer screen flickers as a great rumbling begins, accompanied by a blinding white light. "Aw, man! Not again! No!" Chuck exclaimed. "It the Archangel!" Castiel said and Ariel turns to Dean and (y/n). "Cas and I will hold him off! We'll hold them all off! Just stop Sam!" she said and she touches Dean's and (y/n)'s forehead, transporting them away.
Immediately, Dean and (y/n) appear in an empty part of the convent. They look around then at each other before they walk down a hallway.
Castiel, Ariel and Chuck stand side by side to face what comes. Chuck places a hand on Castiel's shoulder and the other hand on Ariel's arm; The two angels give him a look, and Chuck drops his hands in embarrassment.
Sam enters the sanctuary and flings out a hand, Lilith flings across the room and slam into the altar and fall to the ground. Sam, with Ruby behind him, advances on Lilith and flings out his hand again, making Lilith forced back against the altar. Dean and (y/n) come around a corner and see what is happening in the sanctuary.
Runy looks back at the two and smiles. She puts out a hand and the doors to the sanctuary close while Sam walks towards Lilith. "I've been waiting for this...for a very long time." Sam growls. "Then give me your best shot." Lilith taunts.
Sam reaches out a hand, throwing his power at her. White light shines on Lilith and she cries out in pain. He then lowers his hand, the light fades and he heads voices. "Sam!" Dean's and (y/n)'s voices shout from the closed door. Sam turns to look at the door.
"Sam!" Dean and (y/n) shout as they bang on the door. "Sam!" They scream. "Dean? (y/n)?" Sam said, confused,  as he stares at the door. "What are you waiting for?! Now! Sam, now!" Ruby shouts at him as he continues to stare at the door.
"You turned yourself into a freak. A monster. And now you're not gonna bite? I'm sorry, but that is honestly adorable." Lilith laughs and Sam faces her then raises his hand again. His eyes turn black as he concentrates his power and hurls it at Lilith. She convulses several times, her body glowing and flickering until, at last, she goes limp. Sam's eyes turn back to normal.
Dean keeps trying to shoulder charge the door but (y/n) stops him. "Wait, wait, wait." She said and Dean stops and (y/n) raises her hand, using her powers to open the door. Dean steps aside as she does this.
Blood pours out of Lilith's body in a steady stream; the stream is flowing in what looks like a very deliberate direction. "What the hell?" Sam asked, confused. "I can’t believe it." Ruby mutters and Sam turns to her.
"Ruby, what’s going on?" He asked her. "You did it. I mean, it was a little touch-and-go there for a while, but...you did it." Ruby said and Sam looks at her, confused. "What? What -- what did I do?" he asked. "You opened the door. And now he's free at last. He's free at last!" Ruby exclaimed.
"No, no, no. No, he -- Lilith -- I stopped her. I killed her!" Sam said, in denial. "And it is written that the first demon shall be the last seal. And you bust her open." Ruby said, feverently, then Sam puts his hands to his head. "Now guess who's coming to dinner." Ruby said, laughing. "Oh, my God." Sam whispers, devastated.
"Guess again. You don't even know how hard this was! All the demons out for my head. No one knew. I was the best of those sons of bitches! The most loyal! Not even Alastair knew! Only Lilith! Yeah, I'm sure you're a little angry right now, but, I mean, come on, Sam! Even you have to admit -- I'm -- I'm awesome!" she exclaims, happily, as Sam stares at her, disbelieving before it turns to anger.
"You bitch. You lying bitch!" He growls and he thrusts his hands at her, trying to use his powers, but he drops, clutching his head instead. "Don't hurt yourself, Sammy. It's useless. You shot your payload on the boss." Ruby informed him. "The blood...You poisoned me." Sam groans and Ruby kneels in front of him.
"No. It wasn't the blood. It was you...and your choices. I just gave you the options, and you chose the right path every time. You didn't need the feather to fly, you had it in you the whole time, Dumbo! I know it's hard to see it now...but this is a miracle. So long coming. Everything Azazel did, and Lilith did. Just to get you here. And you were the only one who could do it." She said. "Why? W-why me?" Sam asked her. "Because...because it had to be you, Sammy. It always had to be you. You saved us. You set him free. And he's gonna be grateful. He's gonna repay you in ways that you can't even imagine." she said and (y/n) was finally able to break the door open with her powers and Dean draws the knife.
Ruby stands to confront them. "You're too late." she said. "I don't care." Dean growls as he advances on her and (y/n) holds her hand out, and Ruby's body stiffens as if she's frozen. Then Dean stabs Ruby, she flickers with light, then crumples to the floor, dead.
(Y/n) lowers her hand then her and Dean look over at Sam, who looks devastated. "I'm sorry." he said, broken, then Dean and (y/n) go to hug him.
The blood pouring out of Lilith had finished its pattern on the floor. A brilliant white light shoots up from the central point of the pattern and the convent begins to tremble, making the trio turn to look at it.
"Sammy, let's go." Dean said but Sam grabs their arms. "Guys...he's coming." Sam said as he stares at the light. Dean and (y/n) stare at the light, their hearts beating in fear, as another flash of white engulfs them.
@rach5ive @kitsun369 @itzabbyxx @cevans-winchester @ellie-andthemachine
53 notes · View notes
pretty-chaotic-world · 5 months
Text
if my BPD can scream
1. I wish i could have a normal love... but no, my brain wants to worship every little detail of you until it drives me insane
2. sorry i pushed you away i felt abandoned and suicidal 
3. I’m sick of going to bed and knowing things won’t be better tomorrow 
4. I'll ask you thousands times if you really love, please don't get annoyed
5. I'll create "drama" and mishaps only to feel like I'm in home
6. i’m afraid that one day my anger will overshadow the little love i still have left for the world
7. I feel numb. No tears, no anger, nothing. Just going through the same day again and again. I would rather just sleep without waking up.
8. I'm so tired of everytime one small argument or inconvenience breaks out I want to end it and self destruct, it's so draining. 
9. I want to stop feeling anything and when i actually don't it breaks my heart but I can't cry it out.
10. "its all in your head" well duh where tf else is it gonna be??? in my fucking kidneys????
11. I am constantly between wanting people to care about me and wanting them not to so I can hurt myself without feeling guilty 
12. Psychiatrist told me there is no cure for bpd and I've to change myself. Well why cant they just let me die then?
13. Until you live with bpd you'll never know what it's like to be too much and not enough at the same time.
14. i know im constantly too much for everyone but sometimes i just want to be enough for someone
15. if he will leave me, my next diagnosis will be of "sociopath"
16. im so jealous of all the people who see him and touch him and talk to him every single day it should be me me me me 
17. oh I got my hair coloured. why? because I can't hurt myself anymore 
18. "you're so distant" because you can't handle my abandonment issues.
19. My younger self disappoint me a lot. like why were you begging people to stay in your life? ohh no worries I know the answer
20. I wanna throw a plate against the wall, stab a knife through my hand, destroy my laptop with a hammer, smash my door in with an axe and spray graffiti all over the walls of my room 
21. Why shouldn’t I be mad? Why can’t I just be angry and be allowed to feel it? Why can’t I burn everything down?
22. I have to watch my mouth every fucking second to make sure I don't destroy every relation I have coz apparently social life matters!!
23. Isnt it fucked up how he got away with every horrible thing he made me experience and I’m the one who has to live with myself feeling absolutely fucking worthless 
24. I don't deserve food and love. im a horrible person.
25. this is how my eating cycle goes
feeling weak coz i haven't ate anything -> eat -> purge -> feeling guilty after purging -> eat more -> feeling guilty after eating so much -> cry coz you don't know what's happening
26. the diagnosis makes me believe I'm not insane just lil emo ig!! NOOOO YOU'RE INSANE
27. “don’t let it bother u” baby i’m gonna be bothered by this for the next 10 years 
28. if I tell you I love you its equivalent to I can kill someone for you
29. Actually upon further inspection that shit really hurt my feelings 
30. I don't dive into insecurity anymore, i drown in self-loathe
31. i shut up in between group convo coz I know I'll talk invaluable shit and nobody really cares what I say until it's psychology class
32. "if you are fully aware of yourself, why do you keep acting like that?" slapping self awareness on top of bpd only grants the ability to watch yourself self-destruct straight from the vip section thats all it does literally
33. “Where do you see yourself in the future” building a cult for mentally ill people 
34. ofc I've a praise kind i was ignored as a child
35. I'm much better than I was before. you know why coz I don't to air now and don't see monsters walking by side all the time
36. No I don't want to self harm anymore I need to kill that fucking monster
37. Don't mind me, I'm just casually sabotaging all my positive relationships with negative delusions because my life doesn't feel real unless something dramatic and destructive is constantly occurring 
38. i don’t care i don’t care i don’t care (im going to sob my fucking eyes out)
39. “Stop making your disorder your personality” I have a fucking personality disorder for god sake
40. turning my mental illnesses into kinks and calling it the BDSM-5 
41. "destroy something precious while you're in rage" ohh yeaa and then I'll do that again and again 
42. what I hate most about my BPD is the fact that I have started doubting every emotion that I’ve ever felt in my life, whether it’s love, my grief through multiple traumas, or my anger, & it’s so saddening. It has actually led me to start questioning my reality.
43. if I need medication to stay alive, am I really meant to be here?
44. it's either be alone without 75% of my symptoms, or be with someone and display the most horrendous unstable awful version of myself. why do i have to choose between love & happiness or peace & stability?
45. That fucking bpd rage where everyone's voices makes you want to scream and every noise around you makes you want to sh and you're so mad you can almost feel the cuts everywhere 
46. getting worked up to the point of becoming physically ill (throwing up/stomach issues etc) because you felt rejected/abandoned by your favourite person  
47. i wish my trauma made me kind as everyone says but i’m becoming what i fear the most- a monster.
48. imagine getting diagnosed with a personality disorder and the only visible representation of that disorder is an animated horse man, a sociopathic sitcom character from philadelphia, and darth vader
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ddejavvu · 2 years
Note
you’re my one -> staying late at the office w hotch to finish some peper work and it’s getting harder and harder to deny how you feel about each other also congrats on 2.5k lovey, im so happy for you <33 i love you✨
come celebrate 2.5K with me!
You’re my one -  send me a scenario and a character and i’ll write about what it would be like! (ex. going to an art museum with spencer reid)
--
Your droopy eyes didn't go unnoticed, even when you tried hiding behind the file you were skimming.
"Y/L/N," Hotch caught your attention from across the desk, "You're falling asleep."
"I'm sorry sir," You frantically rubbed at your eyes, hand already reaching for your third cup of coffee for the night, "I don't know what's wrong with me."
"You're tired." He frowned, dark eyes gazing concernedly at you from his chair, "You're falling asleep because you're tired."
"Well, yes, but I've still got cases to go over, so I need to power through."
"Absolutely not," He let the file in his own hands close, his thumb holding his place between the pages inside, "You need rest. Head home for the night, it's not like we were getting much done anyways."
"Really, it's fine, I'll be-"
"Go." He spotted your keys laying on the corner of the table, scooping them up and tossing them at you, "You need to sleep."
You barely caught your keys before they hit you, your eyes widening for a moment until they grew heavy again. You gathered your things, bidding a timid goodbye to Hotch as you left.
The doorhandle wasn't cooperating. Your fingers, usually nimble and quick, were just as sleepy as the rest of your body, fumbling with the metal handle and letting the mug in your hand slip from your grasp.
You barely had time to react before the glass shattered at your feet, spraying your shoes with stale coffee and glass shards. You groaned, crouching down to carefully pick up the biggest pieces, but Hotch had jumped up from his desk, rushing over to swat your hands away.
"Don't touch it," He crouched beside you, one arm across your chest to hold you in place as the other brushed the glass aside, "If you're too tired to hold the mug you're too tired to clean it up."
"I'm so sorry, I'll call the carpet cleaners first thing tomorrow, and I'll cover the bill, I swear I didn't mean to-"
"Y/L/N!" Hotch cut you off once more, "I'm not angry with you. You need sleep, but I don't want you driving. Stay here, I'm gonna get my stuff," He stood, helping you do the same, "And I'll drive you home."
You watched bewildered as he left the broken glass where it was, shuffling a few papers around on the desk you had been sitting at and grabbing his own keys. He gathered his things much faster and more coordinated than you had, and joined you at the door within a minute. You finally spoke, a swift, "Thank you, sir." that he acknowledged with a subtle nod.
"Wait," You watched him walk out the door, leaving you standing by the pile of broken glass, "What do we do about the mug?"
"We leave it," Hotch's perpetually neutral frown broke into a casual grin, "And hope whoever walks in first tomorrow morning is someone we don't like."
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automaticwritie · 9 months
Text
NCT 00 Line SMAU
Warnings: Alcohol, being drunk etc some cuss words
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Renjun opened the door , looking exhuasted , and frowned immidetly.
"Where the hell have you been, bro?"
"I came as fast as I could. Is she better?"
He didn't answer Haechan and just let him see it himself. The view of Y/N got Haechan off guard and made him remember some unwanted memories. She seemed tired and sad least to say.
"Renjunnn, I think I'm gonna throw up."
"God, just come in. I'm coming! Please don't puke around!"
Haechan decided to help her instead while Renjun was getting a bucket from the bathroom.
"I got you. Just relax okay? We can clean it later."
"My stomach hurt."
"I know, I know."
Then she froze all of a sudden, just recognising the voice.
"What the fuck?"
Haechan pretended not to hear her.
"Just let me help you until Renjun comes."
"Oh my God. Did I summon you?"
"What?"
"I cursed so much on your name and now you are here. Are you here to hunt me?"
"Y/N, I'm not some kind of ghost. I was just worried about you."
Her worried eyes turned into angry ones.
"Why? Why would you worry about me?"
"You know why."
His calm tone was driving her even more insane.
"Get your hands off me! I want you to leave. We are not friends anymore. Remember?"
"We both know this is not true."
She wanted to shout at him or even slap his stupid face but she was too intoxicated for any of these.
"Why are you here Haechan?"
He stayed quiet.
"Just tell me. Because I know that you are not here for an apology."
"Drunk you is always the worst , you know?"
She scoffed.
"You are the one saying."
"I love your drunk self though. You get more honest with your reactions and emotions."
It was her time to stay silent. He sat next to her and looked down.
"I won't apologize for sleeping with some girl you hate, but I'm so sorry about the things I said afterwards."
"Some girl I hate huh? You are really dumb Haechan. How did I ever had a crush on you?"
He looked up at her. She seemed like she didn't hear herself and just kept going.
"I don't want you to be sorry okay? I want you to understand. I want your fucking brain to just think and look at the signs. I was crazy about you back then. If only I knew that you were just some stupid blind bit-"
"Just breath. Hey, do you hear me? Just breath okay?"
She didn't realise she was crying until he wiped her tears off of her face.
"We'll talk about this tomorrow. Now, just take some rest."
He hugged her slowly, she didn't fight back and just let it be.
"I hate you."
She whispered.
"No you don't. But I hate you too."
He answered.
Taglist: @neorinaa @n0hyuck
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realityescapee01 · 1 year
Text
Finding Rest
Steo | Stiles x Theo
Another day. Another night. Another mission done. Another negotiation with a supernatural done.
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Words that Stiles repeated. Again. In his head. He let out a deep sigh. He is tired. Things took a down turn for him. He is waiting for the FBI internship result. And he is currently stuck in Beacon Hills. Scott-less too.
Meaning, he has to look after the puppy pack and the town. Basically, take on the alpha role.
"Stiles?" Liam tapped his shoulders. "Are you o-okay?"
"I'm fine, Liam." Stiles replied, exhaustion obvious in his voice.
"I'm sorry, Stiles. I'm incompetent."
"No, Liam. You're still so young. Don't be so hard on yourself."
"Scott left you to me, I should be the one protecting you. I'm the werewolf here. But I know nothing about these things. Negotiations and investigations. I just get angry easy and-"
"Liam. It's fine. Just... drive me home."
Stiles looked out Liam's car window. Liam is right, he is tired. After everything. Almost dying, multiple times, being possessed by a fox spirit, being taken by the Hunt, and being kind of kicked out of the pack for defending himself.
Stiles is tired.
When he got back from FBI he wanted to take a break from everything. But Scott was away to college. And he knew, he had to be the big bro to Liam and the others.
No problem on that. But he is just human. Mason helps a lot in the side of thinking. But of course, it's still not perfect. Stiles had to revise. Stiles wanted to have someone to run this puppy pack with.
Someone who is as smart as him. As cunning and won't get easily fooled by these supernatural beings, and human hunters. And whatever else is out there they might have not encountered yet.
Someone he knows he could have a long night sleep one day, and wake up to Beacon hills and puppy pack still alive and did not implode over night.
And then he heard whistling. From his window.
Stiles jumped from his bed and reached for his bat.
The whistling turned into scoffing. "Come on, Stiles. That's not really gonna help you."
"T-Theo?" Stiles lowered his bat. And he didn't notice until the end hit the floor. And that was so strange for him.
This is Theo. Theo Raeken who fooled the pack. Who fooled him. And successfully framed him against Scott.
He should be raising and swinging his bat around but he didn't. He set it down and felt... relaxed?
"Your one and only." Theo began entering the room through the window.
What the heck are you doing here?!?
Is what Stiles wanted to ask. But this came out instead...
"Where have you been?"
Theo took his bloody jacket off. "With Peter."
Get out.
Is what Stiles should've said, but instead...
"What happened?" Stiles asked as he looked at Theo's bloody side.
"Some kind of grudge." Theo shrugged his shoulders. "Stiles, baby, could you get me a wet towel? For the blood."
Baby?!? Fuck you! Get out!
Is what Stiles wanted to reply with but instead...
Stiles let go of his bat and stepped out of the room to get the said towel. Walked back in the room, towards Theo and placed the towel over the bloody mess on Theo's toned side.
Theo looked at him in surprise. Stiles was also surprised of himself for doing that. Upon realizing, Stiles cleared his throat and threw the towel on Theo's face.
"I hope that Peter grudge won't bring anything or anyone here to Beacon Hills." Stiles crossed his arms.
"Oh, it won't. No one was left alive." Theo tidied up the towel on Stiles' desk and started rummaging through Stiles' shirt drawers.
"W-What are you doing?!?"
"Looking for a shirt." Theo took out a black one and put it on. "Unless you want me shirtless." Theo has that smirk and that glint in his eyes.
Stiles looked Theo over from head to toe. Sure, being shirtless is better but seeing Theo squeezed into his rather small black shirt, stretching it on a the right places ain't so bad too.
So strange. Seeing Theo from a different perspective now. What perspective? Stiles isn't so sure. He knows Theo is good-looking and fit. But he looks specially good-looking and fit now that he looks at him without suspicion.
Beautiful eyes. Perfect face. Broad shoulders. Nice chest and arms. And that narrow waist. And he smells good too.
'H-Huh?!?' Stiles wondered how is he smelling Theo when the chimera is way over there at his drawer-
Stiles let out a little yelp when he felt those nice chest press against him.
"You're tired, aren't you?" Theo said, pressing his lip on Stiles' forehead. Hands on Stiles' waist.
Stiles closed his eyes and just felt so strange. His shoulders slumped and freed of tension. His whole body relaxed and a tired sigh escaped his lips.
"Y-Yeah." Stiles just leaned in to Theo's embrace.
Theo cooed and guided them back to bed. Stiles should be wary and defensive but he isn't. He let himself lie down with Theo.
Theo had time and time again told him he likes him. He wants him. But Stiles wasn't entertaining the idea... but right now... right now he is finding the rest he had been needing for a long time now in Theo.
Maybe because he knows the chimera accepts him for everything he is. His nerdy geeky, snarky brains of the pack. And even his unexpectedly dark, can-kill-a-man side.
"You can take a rest now, Stiles." Theo rubbed his back.
Theo knows Stiles is exhausted, Corey keeps him updated, also the reason why he pushed his little money-making task with Peter to be done faster.
"Theo?" Stiles was rubbing Theo's chest. He loves the feeling of those muscles beneath his palms.
"Yeah?"
"Don't... leave again."
"Oh, that depends." Theo was playful, he knows he could because Stiles is sleepy now.
"Depends on what?"
"I won't leave again if I'm your boyfriend."
"Come on! Not now." Stiles buried his face closer to Theo's chest.
Theo laughed a little. At least the answer isn't a straight out 'No.'
"You know I'm serious, Stiles, right?"
"I know... Let's talk about it tomorrow."
Theo smiled. He's glad that Stiles finds rest in him.
"Okay. Tomorrow then, Stiles." Theo said as he gave Stiles a kiss on the top of his head.
-+-+-+ ( complete ) +-+-+-
a/n: Hi! sorry for the long break. Been busy with two jobs and too tired to write after. But I'm getting back to it and to my unfinished stories. Hope to see you again on my stories. 👍
also maybe I ached to write this rest story. I was tired. 😅
thank you. more on my master list here
I also have an AO3 account
Like the gifs used here? See source under them. Reblog, do not repost. Thank you all gif creators here ♥️
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sharksa-shivers · 7 days
Text
Poor Sharkybean :c
This is an old scene i wrote some time back but tis still good shiz imo so here ya go lol ----------- (We see The Trio derps enter a small almost empty diner, Sharky very out of it and Max and Kristy having to help him…)
Kristy:(helping him stay steady, cautious)Just take it easy, just a step at a time, ok?
Sharky:(sick feeling, in denial, unable to really physically fight them)Yeah, i know…Guys, i'm sick but i'm not that sick…
Max:(irritated, sitting down on a barstool)That's shit and you know that's shit. I'm not buying what you're trying to peddle at me, it's shit.
Sharky:(annoyed, managing to sit down slowly at the middle barstool, Kristy hopping up beside him, rubbing at his face)I'm fucking fine, jesus, can you calm down?
Kristy:(on Max's side here, a bit more harsh)No, not until you eat and i want to see you eat alot. 2 days? You're kidding me, 2 days without food? Really???
Sharky:(defensive, obviously not mentally well either)I fucking…I had like…a cookie, that's good right?
Max:(annoyed)One cookie? Wowie, yeah…Damn, crazy how it did fucking nothing and you're still borderline about to faint, sick, complaining about headaches and your stomach hurting. But wow, one cookie? Well fuck, i'm shocked you're feeling so ass right now.
Sharky:(irritated)Shut the hell up Max, goddamnit…
Kristy:(caring)Look, dude, please just…You have to understand we're doing this for your own good right? Like…You have to right?
Sharky:(sick, putting his head down and wrapping it up with his arms)…………I just wanted to keep driving, i just wanted to ignore it, fuck, i didn't want to deal with you 2 fucking wannabe doctors fucking nagging me, fucking goddamnit…
Max:(annoyed still)Too fucking bad, you let it slip and me and Kris are here to keep you from starving yourself, die mad about it…(reaches over the counter and grabs a few menus, hands one to Kristy and shoves one at Sharky)Just pick some stuff to eat, ok? We aren't going another mile until you eat enough to where those headaches stop…
Sharky:(upset, moves his head up some, resting it on his arms)……That's gonna be so fucking much food though, goddamnit, how many calories is that gonna be?
Kristy:(worried)Who cares about that??? You're literally about to faint from hunger and you're still worried about that???
Sharky:(upset, angry, sick)Yes i'm worried about it!!!! I'm fucking fat enough!!!!!
Max:(annoyed as fuck, pinching his nose)Can everyone just fucking shut up? Please? Just…Just let's get some food, i'm pretty mentally tired today, depressions ramped up right now and i don't have the energy to keep arguing, just…Please…
Sharky:(upset about it, he sighs, angry and knowing he doesn't really have a choice)Fucking…Fine, goddamnit…(grabbing the menu, reading it still with his head down, angry)I'm so fucking tired of this shit…Fuck sakes…
(The Trio are quite for a moment, all looking and seeing what they want when a human woman server comes back from the kitchen, she grabs her pen and notebook and approaches them but uhhhh, she didn't get a great look at them before…)
Server:(cheery for a moment)Oh hey, welcome!!! Can i get you kids anyth- (she stops frozen dead whenever she sees Sharky, his sickly demeanor making her nervous along with his size and appearance…And thus, it's not really surprising to how she reacts)………..I………..Um………..
Sharky:(rolls his eyes, muttering to himself)Yeah yeah, get it out of your system…Not like i already feel like shit…
Server:(She seems terrified now, just insanely scared)………So…Uhhhh……….(Tries to collect herself, scared and assuming)I…Look, please, i'm a mom and i just like…I want to be able to go home, please, can i like…Get you to eat something here instead of like…You looking at me like that or?????
Sharky:(sits up at that, stares just deadeyed and sick)What?????? I????? Looking at you like what????
Server:(anxiously backs up rapidly at Sharky's movement, scared)Please????? Just…Please!!!!!
Kristy:(tries to step in, holds Sharky's hand to try and calm him down some)Look, miss, we were planning on ordering some food here, our friend here's really sick right now and we just need-
Sharky:(glares upset in general, in disbelief)Yeah, no shit we were planning on ordering here, what do you think we came here for???? The decor????
Max:(irritated)Can you fucking calm down dude? Jesus, fucking…(to the server, tries to put on his cute dog face in a way, nicely)Look, we're all very tired and stressed and hungry, can we just, please just order? Can we? Please? The sooner we do, the sooner we'll leave…
Server:(scared, worried, also getting defensive)I really don't trust him and i don't appreciate the yelling tones being used at me. Either you can…Be polite or get out!!!
Max:(just fucking gives her a look)………..You're joking?
Sharky:(putting his head down again, angry, quitely to himself)….I can't even be sick without people throwing shit at me, i can't have anything…2 days with no food, i feel like shit and i can't even get a meal to feel better without people treating me like this…
Server:(she hears that and her fear intensifies)…2 DAYS??? YOU SAID 2??? AND YOU'RE EXPECTING ME TO TRUST YOU????
Sharky:(kinda at his blow up, breaking point)I JUST WANTED A COUPLE BACON BURGERS, SOME PANCAKES AND SOME GRILLED CATFISH, HOLY SHIT…(sees the look of horror on the servers from his anger, tries to force himself to reel it back in)Please, just…Please, i seriously need food, god, please…
Server:(at her breaking point, reaching for a phone)You 3 have about 2 minutes to leave before i call the authorities…
Max:(slams his head down on the counter)Goddamnit, fuck… Kristy:(trying to fix it, frantic)Miss, please, Sharky here's just really sick and he's not really in a good mood because of that, we just want to-
Server:(Fearful, gets more fierce)I will narrow that down to a minute!!! Leave!!!! Now!!!!!!
Sharky:(forcing himself up, tired)Fucking fine, whatever, i'm too fucking tired to deal with human bullshit today…(we see him walk over to the door, Max and Kristy following him quickly out the door, upset)Can't have fucking anything can i? Not one fucking thing…
Kristy:(worried, hurrying out the door)Dude, please, just-
Sharky:(upset, crying)No!!! You two sit here and wonder how i'm able to sit and starve and say nothing for 2 days??? THAT'S WHY!!!!! THAT SHIT RIGHT THERE!!!!!!! I CANNOT EXIST WITHOUT PEOPLE TREATING ME LIKE I AM A MONSTER AND IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE SHIT, LIKE-(all the anger tiring him out more, Sharky getting weaker, lightheaded, slows down some)…Oh fuck, god, my head…(…..and then he starts collapsing)God, oh god, fuck…
(Max and Kristy immediately jump into action, Max grabbing one of his arms and trying to keep him upright and from falling and Kristy making a forcefielded chair shape so he can lay down. Max is strong enough to pick him up and put him onto the forcefield, Sharky not really having the strength to sit up…)
Sharky:(in pain, crying, sick)Fuck, why? Everything hurts, fuck…
Kristy:(worried sick)Dude, Sharky, just chill ok??? Please, you have to calm down!!!
Sharky:(upset)I just want to go home…But i don't have the energy to drive anymore…My stomach hurts, my head hurts, my visions blurring, im so fucking sick…
Max:(googling, rapid typing)Ok, so…Can we get food delivery like…to a parking lot or…?
Kristy:(looking at Max who's far more calm)I don't know, can we or???
Max:(looks up from his phone)If we can't, like…Fuck it, me or you can drive a ways away somewhere else…This is kind of an emergency, soooooooooooo…Yknow…(scrolling on a food app)Uhhhh, does it like matter at this point what kind of food or like? ……..Whatever, never mind, i'm just gonna pick something and you 2 are gonna deal with it…
(We cut to a small bit later. Max and Kristy were able to get to the car and were able to help Sharky also into the car. Sharky was able to scrounge up enough energy to drive a small bit away to another parking lot (with a bit of Kristy's help, her using magic to help him steer some) and to where Max was able to order food from…We cut to them having their food and eating it, Sharky eating a bit slower, obviously not feeling good still…He seems sort of perked up though after eating a bit…)
Kristy:(eating fries, dipping them in ketchup, questioning)So…You feel any better dude?
Sharky:(tired, sick still but he nods some)…Yeah, i think i'm feeling a little bit better…Need to keep eating though, still hungry…(chomping into his burger)
Max:(nomming on a rib, a bit better himself too)Glad to hear that. I figured that'd help your mood some too, food usually helps my mood honestly…
Sharky:(tiredly, chewing his burger)Yeah, i guess…Still tired though…Still like…Feel bad though…
Kristy:(Caring)Hey, look, there's nothing to feel bad for ok? Please don't…Just like…Try and focus on the food and yourself ok?
Max:(dipping a rib in barbecue sauce)Yeah, no hard feelings man. Just some stuff we gotta work on and whatnot…Is what it is…
Sharky:(puts his burger back in the box, leaning his seat back some, tired)God, i guess i really needed food in my system more then i thought, holy fuck…Headache's mostly gone now, stomach feels better now that it's not empty, i can see a bit better…Just feel a bit better but i do still kinda feel sick…I think i need some rest, i…I haven't slept that great the past few days…
Max:(chewing, ripping meat off the bone)Mmmm, probably also cuz you were hungry…Makes it harder to sleep…
Sharky:(tired)Yeah, i guess so…I really hope that'd help me feel better too…Honestly kinda surprised too how fast eating helped…Like…In minutes, it really helped me feel better…
Kristy:(wiping a bit of ketchup off her mouth, kindly)Body works fast man, what else is there to say? Just try and take care of yourself better, ok?
Max:(chiming in, taking a sip of his soda)Yeahhhhhhhhh, please fucking take care of yourself…Don't make us worry like that, goddamn, i legit thought you were gonna pass out and then we'd have to find a way to deal with that…Like ehhhhhh… ------------------------------------------------------------- Inb4 i get shiz about me using 'fuck' alot or whatever, i swear like a damn sailor irl anddddddddd again, not final draft crap so we'd probably change it some whenever making an actual official thing. Alot of the idea stuff i share is like...Me literally just writing the dialog down so i no forgor it XD So ye... Also ye, Sharky, boyo, you lucky your friendos are so good lol...
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tarnishedxknight · 23 days
Text
{out of dalmasca} I decided to just stay on hiatus through Friday and write for this blog as I can. I may do a bit tonight, if I'm not too exhausted, but that's a bit if, heh. I spent the entire day grading and being on the phone on and off for about three hours with various doc offices trying to schedule like eight appts for this month alone.
Anyway, details below the cut, but I know what my schedule is now, at least health-wise. Work still has not gotten back to me about that evaluation I need, but I honestly don't care right now. After Friday I'm going to go back on my regular rp schedule, and then just take certain days off here and there as I need. I'll keep this blog open until Friday, and will likely get at least a few things done each night, even if it's not a whole lot. Writing keeps me sane, as long as it's writing that comes easy to me. =)
Okay so, they felt absolutely no sense of urgency and were not willing to work with me at all to schedule my surgery and other tests in a timely fashion to avoid very serious health issues. So... my "pre-testing" is not until March 18th, and my surgery is not until March 29th. I'm... pretty livid, honestly, because that pretty much guarantees that I will have another attack by then and will have to just go to the emergency room, which is what I've been trying to avoid. The consequences of those can be pretty bad, and I really wanted to do something about this before that could happen, but... no one seems to care, so I have to wait almost a month for surgery.
St. Patrick's Day is a huge thing in my family. We're descended from Irish immigrants, and we go to an Irish pub every Sunday as it is, but this year St. Patrick's Day is on a Sunday, so it's gonna be wild, heh. Except... I can't drink any alcohol the day before my testing. Which. Is on the 18th. So. That means I will be in an Irish Pub... on St. Patrick's Day... and not be able to have any alcohol. I just. Why? Like seriously, whose puppy did I kick or something to earn all this bad luck??? I didn't make the testing appt or the surgery appt either, because if I had, I wouldn't have put it for those days. Nope, the hospital called to tell me when they were. I was like... excuse me? I have a say in when these things happen? And they basically were like... no you don't. *sigh* Three cheers for the abysmally insensitive and evil American healthcare system everybody! Hip, hip-! *flings myself out a window*
In other news, I don't know what is being done for my aunt or where, yet. She lives far away from me, and my cousin lives in a completely different place from both of us. So I'm not sure if they're going to have a funeral, repast, whatever, and in what state. I can't fly right now because of meds I'm on, and if it happens around my surgery date, I won't even be able to ride in a car, let alone drive, for two weeks after. So... I'm on hold for that too. But the upshot is, there's a good chance that because of all these medical appts and my inability to fly, I may not be able to attend any goodbye services for my aunt. *climbs back in through the window so i can fling myself out of it again*
Needless to say, I'm tired, angry, sad, frustrated, and somehow also strangely numb. So. I have to go eat a late dinner and do some laundry, and then I'll be back here to do a little writing. I'm not promising wonders, but I still have a lot of muse despite everything, so even just doing a little bit is a nice distraction.
Thank you, everyone, for being so understanding. And for anyone actually reading my blabbing under the cuts in all these posts, you're an angel and I don't know why you put up with me, haha.
See you later tonight. =)
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eurydicees · 9 months
Note
YOU WROTE 18K BY HAND?? i am so impressed i need to ask what you are writing about. holy shit u are like a god
oh my god ok THANK YOU for asking !!! also in the time since you asked this, i have written another 1,400 words by hand. Anyways. under the cut bc this got. too long.
so this was originally for the 50k big bang project, but it was cancelled so i'm gonna go ahead and talk about it publicly now. SO.
the sparknotes summary: it is an iwaoi post-canon coming of age relationship study !! it's about iwaizumi in california and oikawa in argentina and how they navigate their friendship while long distance. it quite literally walks through every step of their journey from graduation aoba johsai to meeting again at the 2020 olympics....the sheer amount of time i'm covering is why its currently ~88,000 words LMAO.
this fic is literally my little monster. it was supposed to be 30k. then it was supposed to be 50k MAX. it is now 88 thousand words long. anyways though i'm enjoying it.
it's a slow burn get together, but it's also a break up & make up fic. the idea is that they dated in high school and then had to break up bc of the distance--but i think they're probably going to get together in the end. the middle is a whole lot of them growing up and figuring out how they can have a healthy friendship even as adults and dealing with loneliness and adulthood on their own and really coming into themselves as people by the time that they get to the olympics.
i just finished parts two and three, which is iwaizumi's years at university. here are some BANGER lines, if i do say so myself:
after oikawa's visit to california, when he has to leave again:
Oikawa smiles at him, and with that, he takes the handle of his suitcase and walks into the airport. Farther and farther and farther away, until he’s disappeared from sight and Iwaizumi is standing alone again, next to the blinking red hazard lights and the sound of other cars’ wheels on cracked concrete.  He gets back into the car. He doesn’t really want to talk to Rich right now, or any one of his other friends or teammates. He kind of just wants to be alone.  So he turns off the hazard lights and puts the car in drive and then he takes the long way home.
when iwaizumi is talking to his friends about oikawa:
“It’s not a big deal,” he tries. “We’ve both moved on. It wouldn’t have lasted while we’re in different countries anyway.”  He does not mention that Oikawa had asked him to wait. He does not mention that he is—he is waiting, and he doesn’t plan on stopping. He doesn’t plan on breaking that promise to come home.  “Ah,” Em says, subdued.
during a drunken NYE call:
Iwaizumi can hear the flinch in Oikawa’s voice. “You miss me?”  “I’m not saying it again,” Iwaizumi says, and it sounds like it’s supposed to be angry, but it just comes out tired and sad. “Of fucking course I do. You’re—” “I’m what?”  Iwaizumi takes a shuddering breath. “You’re so far away, Tooru. You’re so far away and it makes me—fuck, fuck! I shouldn’t have called. I should—” “No!” Oikawa says it instantly, desperately, cutting off any idea that Iwaizumi should go. Which is good because as much as Iwaizumi wants to escape the embarrassment of this phone call, he doesn’t actually want to hang up. He doesn’t actually want to leave Oikawa now. “Stay. Please. Stay with me.”  Iwaizumi pauses for a moment, swallowing down Oikawa’s words and turning them over in his head before saying anything else. “Okay. I’ll stay.” 
anywayssssssss!!! it's been REALLY fun to write, but it's also like. an insane labor of love. this fic was my project for nanowrimo july of LAST YEAR, and it's my project again this year. isn't that crazy. so so so much has gone into this fic its literally driving me up the wall. it haunts my every waking moment and also my dreams.
but yeah i don't have wifi where i'm living for the summer, so i've been writing everything by hand and then typing it all up when i can use a hotspot on my phone. i also have the most amount of free time in my life than i have , like, EVER had in my non-child life. so i get to spend so much time writing, which has been sooooo fun. i am begging the universe to keep me from being burnt out bc i'm genuinely having the time of my life working on this.
ok phone's about to die gotta go. thank you for asking i want to talk about this SO bad. please feel free to ask me. please enable me i'm begging you
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studyblrattempt · 6 months
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Weird day today. Things were pretty much okay until I decided to go on a walk with my family and it was so not enjoyable and when I came back home I was so angry because basically I didn't get anything out of it and I feel like it was such a waste of time. I didn't do what I wanted to do today because I wanted to either study either take time to recharge. In the end I only studied around a couple of hours and I didn't do anything really enjoyable neither. I mean I went driving which was half stressful half enjoyable I guess and I spent some time with my sister which was really nice but idk. I guess I'm just mad that I lost my time doing something lame during the afternoon lol. I'm stressed because I wanted to do some planning but didn't. Now I'm definitely too tired so it will have to wait lol. Anyway the day is not completely over so I'm gonna tidy up and everything I have a lot to do actually and then I'll go to sleep.
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chosok-amo · 5 months
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LOVIN ON ME: RYOMEN SUKUNA
lately you and sukuna are always arguing, mostly because of his ego, but that night is the worst. he just left you in the middle of the road in the middle of the night, forcing you to walk when you are one hour away from home.
content warning : angst! sukuna, swearing, yelling, name-calling bitch,
word count : 3,6k
REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!
please don't take this fanfiction seriously. If someone does that to me, I am not gonna do what the girl in my fic does, and I hope nobody is too. I have no intention in writing this fiction other than to have fun because I love to write and I hope nobody goes through the same as the girl.
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⠀⠀⠀ ⠀You and Sukuna are in a relationship, but as time goes by together, Sukuna becomes colder, the two of you often argue, you rarely spend time together anymore, and with his very big ego, Sukuna always blames you. Being the King of Curses made him very arrogant and always looked down on everyone.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀And today, with plans to improve your relationship, you planned to spend time alone with him, but of course, Sukuna ruined everything with his attitude. This made Sukuna feel annoyed with you— still thinking that you were the one in the wrong. You were currently in the car, driving home when Sukuna could no longer hold back his irritation and stopped in the middle of the road. The rain fell as fast as he breathed.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“Get out, you can walk home,” he growled angrily. It was already midnight and it would be very unsafe for you to walk alone, in the rain, far from home, but Sukuna didn't seem to care. “Walk home, you bitch,” he shouted angrily. Your eyes opened wide, shocked at what Sukuna just said to you.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“What?”
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀Fighting is nothing new in your relationship, but this one? this feels very new, and unfamiliar. Your mind wanders, thinking whether you should get out of the car or not. Your chest felt tight as if it was going to explode any moment now and tears gathered themselves at the corners of your eyes, fighting to escape.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“No Y/n, that's it, I'm tired of your bullshit so get the fuck out of the car, now!” Sukuna said, starting to get angry as he honked. He shouted as he continued to slur words and continued to sound the horn. Until finally several cars started to pass the two of you but none of them would stop and check on your condition. The rain continued to fall heavily and you could feel how cold it was outside the car. “What a bitch,” Sukuna mumbled, loud enough for you to hear. He averted his gaze from you to stare at the road which was wet from being continuously hit by water. He doesn't care that you're sick and cold, he's too angry.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“My bullshit?” You scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest. “I'm not leaving, Sukuna. I'm not going anywhere,” you continued and turned your gaze out the window. “If you don't, I'll just leave you here,” threatened Sukuna, almost growling. You turned your gaze to look at him who was now looking at you. His red eyes widened at you— showing how angry he was.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀His expression didn't change— Sukuna looked very cold and expressionless. You stared at him for a moment in silence. Your eyes widened when you saw how your boyfriend was sitting there, thinking more about his anger than your safety. Of course that says it all. Unlike him, you are just an ordinary human, you can't defend yourself if danger comes, you don't know how to kill curses, you can't even kill a lizard. And walking home in the rain in the middle of the night is not something that suits your weakness.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“You don't mean that,” you said quietly.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀Sukuna chuckled softly, harshly, mockingly. “Get out,” he repeated coldly, “I'm not kidding, walk home by yourself.” You looked at him in disbelief. Can't believe how you could love someone so arrogant and uncaring like Sukuna. You know very well that he is The King of Curse, of course. But even so, Sukuna never had the heart to let you walk alone in the middle of the night. You're not even allowed to go to the mini market to buy snacks which is only 5 minutes from your apartment if you're not with him.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀You were surprised, but Sukuna didn't seem to care. He just kept glaring his eyes at you, and looking straight ahead. His face did not change, remaining flat without expression. “So am I, I'm not leaving, we can stay here all fucking night, I don't care,” you say. Your eyes fluttered at Sukuna, and the man certainly saw this clearly. He saw how your eyes fluttered with red circling your temples. You tried your best not to let your tears fall, at least not in front of Sukuna.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀His red eyes could also see how you pulled your lips into a straight line, trying to block the passionate sobs from coming out. His big hands gripped the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles turned white. Sukuna could feel how his heart seemed to be breaking into pieces, he felt tight. But he couldn't do anything, his anger had blinded him so he didn't care about your pain. All he wanted to do was get you out of his sight, as quickly as possible.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“I'm not playing around, Y/n. Get out of the fucking car before I make you!” so he shouted. His hand extended towards you, opening the door on your left side. Instantly you could feel the cold air brushing your skin, and slowly the raindrops faintly hit your skin. You looked at your arm which was dripping with rainwater, along with your tears that fell as you slightly lowered your head. Your forehead wrinkles sharply and your vision blurs.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀You don't understand what happened, you don't understand the attitude that Sukuna is giving you right now. You don't understand how the man you love so much could change so fast. You didn't understand how he could ignore you and your tears, he didn't care at all. “Where did we go wrong?” you whispered without realizing it, voicing what was in your head.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀Sukuna roughly sighed and rolled his bored eyes, “There's that dramatic fucking bitch I feel in love with.” Sukuna looked at you angrily. He knew that he should have closed his mouth at this time, pulled you close, hugged you and told you how sorry he was. But he couldn't— felt like he was losing control of himself. “Get out of the fucking car, Y/n!” he shouted back.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“No,” you whispered.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀Sukuna gritted his teeth, his grip tightened on the steering wheel as if he wanted to break it. So with that he got out of the car and walked to your side. With a single yank, his hands pulled you out of the car— forcing you to get out. He pulled you tight until your phone fell to the muddy ground and was stepped on by Sukuna. His hand roughly gripped your wrist, so rough that you were sure it would leave marks there. “That's it, walk home and good luck,” he said and slammed the car door—closing it roughly.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀The cold feeling that embraced your innocent arms silenced you. You just stared silently at Sukuna's back covered in a plain white shirt, wet from the rain, getting further and further away until finally it disappeared when he got into the car and left—leaving you alone. You stared at the car you were riding in slowly leaving you and disappearing into the dark.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀You looked down at your cellphone which was now covered in mud. With a shaking body, you bent down and picked up the flat object. Wiping the mud that covered it onto the white sleeveless dress you were wearing. Under the pouring rain, you walk with your feet going somewhere. Your body continues to jolt due to the resounding roar. Sukuna knows your fear of rain, but he still leaves you alone to walk home.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀You keep walking until you arrive at a gas station. Entered there soaking wet and shaking. You saw a girl much younger than you sitting behind the cashier. She glanced at you in surprise with her forehead furrowed in confusion. You walked over to her—standing in front of the cashier's desk. “Can I help you?” she asked hesitantly. You blinked a few times, trying to process the question being thrown at you. Too much rain and cold weather seems to freeze your brain. And crying non-stop doesn't help how you're having trouble digesting what's happening.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“C—can I borrow your charger? I think my p-phone died,” you said quietly, not expecting the voice that came out of your lips to be hoarse than usual. The foreign girl hesitantly nodded, not because she was afraid of you, but she was trying to understand what you had just experienced. Her forehead continues to wrinkle, looking at your flat but pained face. But without saying a word she took your cell phone that you gave her.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“Thanks,” you mumbled and slowly turned around to walk out. You sat yourself down on a long chair made of wood which was not far from the door. Your thoughts took you to Sukuna. It brought pain to your chest. It hurts so much that your whole body feels like burning and you can barely breathe. Your throat seemed to be blocked by something so big, preventing you from breathing normally and swallowing your pain. Like it wants to torture you more than you should.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀His words hurt you, his gaze hurts you, even his memories hurt you. Thousands of 'what ifs' continuously invade your little brain without pity, making you more tired with each passing second. Your body feels numb. Now heavy rain, thunder and cold no longer scare you, no longer make you tremble. All you felt was emptiness—as did your gaze staring straight at the asphalt.
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⠀⠀⠀ ⠀When he arrived home, Sukuna took himself to the room you and he shared— threw himself on the bed and stared at the ceiling. The anger he had felt for weeks finally exploded, now he felt numb. Being in a room filled with your warmth, he still feels cold. The emotions he usually felt towards you now seemed to disappear—making him feel like his old self again, The King of Curse. He couldn't bring himself to care about you right now.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀Not caring about his thoughts as he saw you standing staring at himself driving away from the rearview mirror in front of him. Even though you were soaked and standing in the dark, he could still clearly see your beauty. Your small body is covered in a white dress with straps that hug your beautiful body. It was a dress he gave you, and you wore it especially for him.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀Sukuna sighed and closed his eyes—hoping he could fall asleep. Trying to put aside the feelings of guilt, shame and sadness that were starting to eat away at him. Sukuna didn't know what to do with this feeling. He felt very new, this feeling was new to him. Since being with you, he's felt a lot of feelings he never knew existed, and he, despite how he is in the original, can feel them too.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀Sukuna's mind is full of you. He got up from the bed and walked towards the large window that filled the wall on his left side. The storm had begun to subside, the rain had turned gentle and calming, but that wasn't enough to relieve the anxiety in the curse king's chest. Even so, he couldn't bring himself to look for you, when it rained, he would look pathetic. His ego is too big.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀He looked down at the flat object in his hand—a cell phone. There was your name written on the screen, all Sukuna had to do was press the button and put the object to his ear, but no. He just stood there silently with one hand in his pocket and the other shaking holding his cellphone and his head bowed to look at the object.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀It's already 2 am and by now you should be home. But you didn't come, making the pink haired man even more worried. Now Sukuna was sitting at the end of the bed with his elbows resting on his thighs and his face buried in his two big hands. He could feel his hot breath on the skin of his hands and the pain in his eyes seemed like something was forcing its way out.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“Where are you, Y/n?” he groaned.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀Time continued to pass and as the seconds ticked by the more scared he felt. You were just a normal human being, a weak little girl who needed his protection. In this cruel world you can't defend yourself, you don't have curse techniques, you can't do anything, you're just human. This made Sukuna scared. He couldn't imagine that he would have to kill someone if something happened to you.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“I'm sorry for leaving you there, alone. Please come home safely," He, Ryomen Sukuna, the King of Curses, stared at the window with a frown and eyes filled with tears.
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⠀⠀⠀ ⠀The silence that embraced you was broken when you felt someone touch your shoulder lightly. Startled you turned to your side, finding the cashier girl smiling awkwardly at you. “Here, have this, it's hot chocolate,” she said and handed you a glass. With hands still shaking with cold, you took the glass. A sigh escaped your mouth when you felt the warmth when your skin touched the surface of the glass. “I brought you a towel, it's nothing much but I hope it makes you less cold,” She said, still smiling as she covered your body with the towel.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“Thank you so much,” you said quietly to which the girl answered with a nod. “And here, I think your phone is broken,” She said and handed you your phone. You stared at the object for a moment before taking it. You just nodded after that. Silence enveloped you for a few moments with your eyes and her staring straight ahead, before she, who was beside you, spoke again.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“I know it's not my place to say this, but... whoever made you walk alone in the middle of the rain at midnight, I hope he was worth it. The look on your eyes, you're expressionless but everyone with eyes can see everything—” The girl paused to turn to look at you, smiling softly to match her eyes. You had already looked at the girl beside you.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“He broke you, didn't he? he shattered your entire being, he cut you down with his word, he ruined you. That's what I see through your eyes. You know.. eventually one of two things will happen, he'll realize you are worth it, or you'll realize he wasn't, and when it happens, I hope it's not too late,” the girl finished her sentence but you unable to say anything. For the umpteenth time that night, your throat tightened again.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀Even so, the girl still smiled. She touched your shoulder gently, “Drink your hot chocolate before it gets too cold, I'm gonna go inside. “Stay here as long as you need,” she said kindly. So with that she got up after throwing you one more gentle smile, leaving you alone. You can only ponder, digesting what the girl said.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀After several hours the rain finally stopped. You put the now empty glass on the towel that you had folded neatly on the chair. After what the girl said, you couldn't bring yourself to look at her— afraid that she would find out everything if she looked at you one more time. So you stood next to the trash can, threw your cell phone there and walked away towards the house. The sky showed no signs of the sun appearing soon and walking in the darkness of the night. Keep walking until you finally arrive home. You stopped for a moment as the sight of Sukuna's car entered your vision. This indicated that the man was at home, so you hesitantly stepped inside.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀You pushed the door behind you, closing it once you were inside. You sat yourself down on the couch, leaning back. Your eyes look around the place you live. You don't know when it started, but you don't realize how lifeless the house now looks. Everything looked dull and gloomy. You're inside the house but feel colder than when you were outside. This place usually gave you endless warmth, but now you couldn't feel anything but tightness.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“Y/n?”
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀You didn't flinch when you heard Sukuna's hoarse voice behind you. You just stare silently ahead. Sukuna stood in front of you, his eyes looking down— seeing your body shaking cold and wet. His forehead furrowed sharply when he noticed the many wounds on your feet, which he believed were due to you walking barefoot. Sukuna felt like throwing up. All the contents of his stomach were forced to come out. He felt hurt, ashamed and guilty.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀So with that Sukuna stood on one knee in front of you. You can see him who has changed to his original form. Both of his hands were on the floor, supporting his large body, while the other two were holding one of your legs, lifting it until his lips touched the top of your leg—kissing it. You saw how you made the man kneel in front of you with his lips kissing your feet. If it weren't for the current situation, you would feel like a whole zoo was moving in your stomach. Sukuna never kneels in front of anyone, he will make everyone kneel to him. But look at him now. Humbly kissing your feet like he worships wherever you stand.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀I hope he was worth it
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀I'm tired of your bullshit, get out!
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀But now you're not used to feeling anything, you can't think of anything other than Sukuna's screams and the soft words of the cashier girl. The sound kept playing in your ears, getting louder every second until you felt sick. “I don't think I can do this anymore,” you whispered, loud enough for Sukuna to hear which made the man's forehead furrow and his eyebrows raise. He lifted his head to look at you. Still kneeling with both hands holding your legs.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“Let's break up, Sukuna,” you said.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀Your eyes looked at his red eyes which now you started to realize that he had just been crying. “I'm sorry, y/n, I'm so sorry. How could I do this to the woman I love?” he whispered. He kissed your feet again—kissing every wound there.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀It was pathetic’ you think.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“You knew what you were doing and you knew it would hurt me, but somehow that didn't stop you. I let down my walls for you, only to make me remember why I built them so high, I don't think you deserve my love.”
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“I know, my love. I know I don't deserve your love, I don't deserve any part of you, but the selfishness in me wants every part of you. I'm truly sorry for my actions and words—”
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“We never gonna work out, I can't believe Iet someone as cruel as you be the love of my life—”
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“No please don't say that,” Sukuna quickly cut you off. Now you can no longer hold back your tears. Sukuna shook his head slowly, firmly rejecting your words. He returned to his normal form as he laid his head on your thigh. “I know I'm cruel, there's nothing human about me. But please Y/n, please keep loving me. I can lose you when you're the only one who can touch my soul—” he stopped for a moment.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀Lifting his head from your thigh, you noticed the tears that were now rolling down Sukuna's cheeks. And little did you know, seeing him so vulnerable hurt you more than before. ��All this feeling is new to me, nobody ever made me feel this too much emotion, so much that it was scary. When I see you tonight in that dress I feel so grateful that it hurts to think that you'll leave me. For as long as I live nobody ever wants me, and seeing how much you love me, I feel scared—”
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“You are so beautiful, so fragile, so delicate that I know you don't belong in this kind of world, my world. I don't want you to change, I want to keep you the way you are. You deserve the world yet I can give you everything yet I can't give you the world that you deserve and it's killing me. I can kill the entire living thing, giving you a new world, I'm strong for that, but I'm not strong enough for you to leave with my soul in your sleeves— I—”
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀Sukuna choked in the middle of his words. He looked at you, who now looked blurry because of the tears that filled his temples. “Sukuna..” you said slowly. But as if frightened by what you were going to say, Sukuna quickly cut you off again.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“Please, give me another chance, I'll do anything for you—”
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀You can't take it anymore. You couldn't see another second of Sukuna crying while kneeling in front of you. Feeling the pain in your chest when you realize how he is so afraid of losing you and you don't even notice his misery. “Please tell me I mean something to you,” he whispered, more like begging.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀You were silent for a moment. “Y/n, please..”
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“You mean the world to me, Sukuna. You're the love of my life, don't you get it? If I had the choice between you and a million things, I've always wanted, I would choose you every single time,” you finally said. Your cold hand touched Sukuna's warm cheek, making the man close his eyes and tilt his head, leaning against your hand.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“I love you, Y/n. So much that it physically hurts me when I see you cry, I'll never do that again. I'm gonna kill myself if I do that again," Sukuna whispered.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀“Okay,” you whispered too.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀So with that, Sukuna slipped one hand under your knees and the other behind your back, lifting your body from the sofa. He continued to stare at you while you were in his arms, walking towards the room. Not once did he take his eyes off you— too afraid that if he looked the other way for a second you would disappear into thin air.
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erstwhilesaint · 2 years
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Happy Bi Awareness Day!
In honor of bi awareness day, have an unfinished Supernatural ficlet. Feel free to grab this and finish it if it inspires you. :)
Bi-erasure fic (End of golem episode) (S8e13 "Everybody Hates Hitler") Setting: Driving in the Impala, early evening
Dean: (chuckles)
Sam: (questioning look)
D: Aaron really had me going there, with the gay pick-up. That was smooth, very convincing. Wasn't even really sure til I saw the "Busty Asian Beauties" in the can. Heh!
S: (shrug) maybe he's bisexual.
D: huh, right.
S: (suspicious) what?
D: …
S: Say it, Dean.
D: Just, demons'll do anything that moves, right. And I get angels aren't dudes or chicks, really, so it doesn't make a difference to them. Well, those that actually dabble, anyway. But, people? People are one thing or the other.
S: OMG, Dean! Do you know how stupid… How old fashioned…? And it's a mental illness, too right? Should be chemically castrated?
D: jeez, Sam! I know I can be an ass, but…
S: and old fashioned. And stupid. If you tried some pecan pie because it looked good, it doesn't mean you can never have cherry again.
D: hey, now!
S: you can like more than one kind of pie, you know. You're allowed, Dean.
D: (grumbles) didn't have to bring pie into it.
Sam regretted the angry reaction. Now he had no moves left without escalating conflict. "I mean you, specifically, Dean. You're allowed." Que defensive outburst. Sam was getting a bit tired of watching his older brother stand in his own way. But, this was a dance they'd done forever.
His brother was an idiot.
At the next diner, Dean inquired about their pie. The waitress gushed, "Oh, you have got to try the pecan! Owner's wife makes it. It's heaven!"
Dean's face froze mid smile. He could feel Sam's eyes on him and the amused twitch of his of his mouth. Damn you, Sammy!
"Or," misinterpreting his expression, the waitress continued, "if you're allergic to nuts, we've got cherry, peach or apple."
Well, cherry was out. He could get the peach. Dammit, that's another euphemism. Thanks Sam, now I'm having a freaking crisis over pie.
"Apple!" He rushed out a bit too enthusiastically, "Apple's great. Thanks, sweetheart." Good old all-american apple pie. Nothing to read into that.
When it arrived, Dean couldn't help but be disappointed. The crust was soggy and the filling was overly sweet. He kept thinking about that "heavenly" pecan.
"Hey, Sammy, just gonna hit the head. I'll meet you in the car." Dean handed Sam the keys after dropping some cash on the table.
He headed towards the back until he heard the bells of the diner door signal Sam's exit. Then he turned towards the front counter. "Hey, can I get a slice of that pecan pie to go?"
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