#i'm definitely the least talented artist in the family but there's something to be said for trying i guess

[lynlyndoll]

My muse

genre: fluff

wc: (almost) 0.8k

pairing: painter! hyunjin x writer

appearances and specifications: only hyunjin and you and a lot of aaaartttt!!

summary: The art world was complex and you knew it, you weren't very into arts. However, you did like going to expositions and your eyes did enjoy fine works. That's how you met him...

an: I'm in love with hyunjin's paintings. His talent is exceptional! I got this as a request from my dear friend, actually, who is hyunjin biased!! so... yeah, let's begin!

You entered the art exhibition your boyfriend had. He was a painter. You met him a few years ago in an art exhibition of young potential artists that were still in university, admiring the students' works. You found one that you particularly enjoyed. It was a painting of a beautiful scenery. Even though you weren't the most artistic person with a brush, you knew what fine art was, and this... this was respecting every single definition of "perfection" in the dictionary. And you, out of most people, should've known the definition. After all, you were an english major with a bright writer career waiting for you. You were still deep in analyzing the picture when you felt someone tapping your shoulder.

"You like this one?" A blonde boy asked you, with a little smirk on his face. You nodded, still looking at the painting.

"I made it myself." The boy adds and it makes you look at him, raising your eyebrow.

"Then you're an art genius, if I may say." You smile at him. "I'm not the best art judge, but whenever I see beauty in something, my heart starts beating faster." You weren't lying. Your heart was beating faster, and this only happened when you saw something beautiful. But your heart wasn't beating faster just for the painting. It was also beating faster for the beautiful artist before you. "And this..." You look for barely two seconds at the painting exposed on the wall. "This is truly a beautiful work of art."

He smiled at your words, thanking you for the choice of words. He liked your way of talking, even though it was a little bit... different, a little bit more elegant, not a simple "yeah, i like it, it's nice.", but a whole beautiful speech made up from only what you've felt from his painting. "Are you, by any chance, a writer?" He looked at you and you chuckled.

"Not yet. But, in the future, there is a probability. I'm an English major." You smiled. "What gave me away?"

"Your way of elaborating every single sentence. It's not as my friends talk, at least, and we are all taking different majors. I'm an art major, as you may see." He laughed, causing you to laugh alongside him. "Yeah, I guess I do use some other words to express myself." You smile. For a few moments, you kept talking and he kept listening to whatever you said. Nothing too elaborate, only some little talks while walking between the art works of the exposition. When you saw every single piece of art, you waved goodbye to Hyunjin with a smile, hoping you'd see him again.

And you did see him again. Not only once, but whenever there was a little exposition in town, he was there. It was like he knew your plans, because every time you saw him, he had a little red rose in his hands, offering it to you. That's how, after your 6th encounter, you both got a little coffee from the little café across the road. You talked again, he listened. Then he talked and you listened. You smiled as he talked about his hobbies, his friends, his family, his little dog called Kkami that he even showed you a picture of. Then you both had an argument over who had the best music taste, only to find out that both of you listened to the same type of music, your laughing filling the whole café.

And that's how it went. A second date, a third date and at the fourth, he asked you to be his girlfriend. You accepted immediately, smiling at him and kissing his lips, cheeks and forehead, then going for the lips again. He giggled, the kisses making his face red.

Now, after 3 years, your lover still painted and you still wrote. You wrote little stories about him and his love, he painted you, the love of his life, and you, as a couple. And that's how, today you ended up again in an art exhibition, but this time, it was bigger, bigger than it was 3 years ago. You were facing the wall full of paintings, one particular work catching your eye. It was one of a woman. As you were analyzing it, you felt someone tapping your shoulder.

"You like this one?" A blonde man, asked you, with a little smirk on his face. You nodded, still looking at the painting.

"I made it myself." He adds and it makes you look at him, raising your eyebrow.

"Then you're an art genius, if I may say." You smirk as well.

"And, you're my muse." he smiled, kissing your lips.

taglist!!

@agi-ppangx @lisaaassophhhieee @hyunjin-lover20

#hyunjin #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin x you #hyunjin x y/n #straykids x reader #straykids x yn #straykids #straykids x you #stray kids #kpop x y/n #kpop x you #kpop x reader

[mesillusionssousecstasy]

The Gentlemen : Quotes

"- Your inheritance has made you a very wealthy man, but that doesn't mean to say that you're rich. You're asset rich, cash poor. There has been a slightly unconventional approach from a lawyer based in London. His client has expressed an interest in purchasing Halstead Manor. (The lawyer) - When someone dies, the vultures start circling." (Eddie - Episode 1)

"- Yes, and the sooner you get rid of them, the better." (Lady Sabrina - Episode 4) - I just need to figure out a way of making them more money with a little less fuss. (Eddie - Episode 4) - Now, come one. Nothing like a good funeral to put things in perspective." (Lady Sabrina - Episode 4)

"- Behind the air of pomposity, there's a man you don't wanna fuck with. (Eddie) - Speak for yourself, Eddie." (Freddy - Episode 4)

"- He's rather lovely. He's your classic struggling artist. Just a little too desperate to be discovered." (Freddy - Episode 4)

"- Would you introduce me? (Eddie) - You're up to something, Eddie. (Freddy) - Never." (Eddie - Episode 4)

"- Oh, Freddy has many talents, but sticking isn't one of them." (Eddie - Episode 4)

"- It's the kind of risk-reward relationship I could get on board with. Free market, fucking great. Lack of regulation, check. No taxation? Yeah, baby. Smidge of illegality? Yeah, well, no business plan's perfect." (Max (?)- Episode 4)

"- Only thing he likes more than wine and fine dining is the sound of his own voice." (Susie - Episode 5)

"- Are you trying to blackmail us? (Susie) - Ah, well, that depends on your definition of blackmail. (JP) - Perhaps you could help us clarify your definition." (Eddie - Episode 5) "- We've all just gotta figure out what we're good at and fuck the consequences in the arse. (Freddy) - The consequences might fuck you in the arse if you do 14 years in prison." (Eddie) - Yeah, we're all in cages, brother." (Freddy - Episode 5)

"- That's the thing about running an international crime syndicate. We can get to anyone." (Susie - Episode 5)

"- You continue to deliver on your end of the bargain and see how they respond. Don't let 'em know what you're thinking. And meanwhile, prepare for all eventualities." (Geoff - Episode 6)

"- Well, you don't fuck about, do you? (Eddie) - Like you said, impulse, instinct, survival." (Henry - Episode 6)

"- I thought you burnt that bridge. You know what creative types are like. Passion runs high, but it's quickly forgotten." (Episode 6)

"- That's a very wild accusation. - Why don't you deny it, then, hmm?" (Episode 6)

"- There is nothing that I won't do to protect my family. (Eddie) - Careful there, soldier. I can be nice, and I can be not so nice. You've only seen me on one setting." (Susie - Episode 6)

"- Looking supremely fucking confident. As well you should." (Episode 6)

"- You may have a small army, but I am the state. I am the house. I am the establishment. And you are ill-equipped physically, martially, and intellectually for the fight you've mistakenly chosen to pick." (Susie - Episode 6)

"- What have you got to be sorry for? Didn't do anything, did you?" (Susie - Episode 7)

"- You're not thinking with your business brain. You're thinking with your emotional feelings. You're my angel of life, not my angel of death" (Bobby - Episode 7)

"- Violence and trickery has no place in our way of business." (Episode 7)

"- How do you intend to use their names? Mr. Johnston believes the key to a good deal is to give everyone something they want." (The secretary - Episode 7)

"- Now blood's been spilled, he's not gonna stop until he's got it. There's nothing he won't do." (Episode 7)

"- Problem is, I'm currently on the precipice of a difficult decision about which side offers the best chance of an exit... with the least possible fuss." (Eddie - Episode 7)

"- If you're gonna do it, just fucking do it. (Henry) - Oh, no. After you made my brother suffer, I think I'm entitled to take my fucking time. Make an example of you. Make sure no one ever tries to steal my business again." (Susie - Episode 7)

"- Because this is the one time I can do something selfless. The one chance I have to reclaim a shred of human dignity. The moral of the story is, you need to take the blows, accept the blame, all for the sake of the bigger picture." (Bobby - Episode 8)

"- And why me exactly? (Eddie) - It ain't gone unnoticed that you two have become a right double act working together." (Bobby - Episode 8)

"- I was under the impression it was verified. (Stanley Johnston - Episode 8) - No. You've been the victim of a deception, Mr. Johnston. (Eddie - Episode 8)

"-You see, until you've had the living shit beaten out of you, you don't know anything. But when you realize the only thing that matters is power, the whole world opens up. 'Cause it's literally there for the taking." (Jack - Episode 8)

"- However, if you want the benefit from my vast years of experience, I'd say that you're much more likely to regret the things that you didn't do rather than the things that you did." (Lady Sabrina - Episode 8)

"- It got me thinking. Nothing in life worth having comes without a little... danger." (Eddie - Episode 8)

#the gentlemen #tv show #netflix tv shows #eddie halstead #susie glass #eddie x susie #quote #the gentlemen quotes

[your-fave-adopted-you]

Hi! If that's okay could i request platonic nrc staff reacting to MC wanting to go to an art school after nrc? Specifically for tattoos?

Based on the fact that i went to look at universities yesterday lol

As an art student this is very interesting.

in fact I made my pfp myself lmao

Also additional drinking game : drink every time you read the word tattoo and get absolutely wasted!

Guardian! school staff + MC who aspires to be a tattoo artist

Characters : Crowley, Crewel, Trein, Ashton

TW : none

Gn pronouns were used.

Context : It's not uncommon for young artists to be discouraged by their families and teachers when mentioning that they want to seek a career in art, and that it's not just a hobby.

But do you know how much worse it gets when you say that you don't plan to live by selling paintings like Picasso? do you how how many people won't think of tattooing as a proper first option?

Oh, you do. And that's why at first you're a little bit worried about telling them.

Dire Crowley

Actually it just came up in a random conversation

he told you that even if you couldn't get back home in the worst case scenario ofc

at least you were lucky that you studied at such prestigious school.

you had much more possibilities career-wise than most people.

and he finally asked you what you wanted to do, if you wanted to continue studying, or what was your dream job.

You told him your plans about art school, and being a tattoo artist.

"Oh, are you sure?" he said expressionless.

and like always, you had to explain why you wanted that, what it meant to you, yk, the usual.

"it's art school actually necessary for that?"

and again, you explained that in some schools they even had courses dedicated especially to tattooing, comics, animation,

and even if it wasn't the case, art school really helps with your skills.

and he went silent, contemplative.

"would i get one for free?"

"sure, but only if you volunteer for me to practice."

that's it, that's all he needs to hear.

Researches any school that seems worthy enough for your talent.

even privates ones.

ESPECIALLY THE PRIVATES ONES.

good lord he's actually calling and emailing and shit.

if only he put that much energy in everything else.

also he will stop anyone he sees with a tattoo and will bombard them with questions. "how much did this cost you?" "how long did this one take to- 6 hours? oh... do they get paid by the hour or?" "do you know if they're hiring?"

it's actually embarrassing.

One day he even asked Leona and made the terrible mistake of mentioning you, "Oh what a.... yes, it's definitely a design alright! where did you get this? I'm sure my y/n would like to know!"

next time you saw Leona he was actually curious about what kind of tattoo you were getting-

Also he stopped kalim once on his way to P.E to ask about his 😭

because??? they're white??? white ink??? oh his little artist will thank him for the info!!!!

poor kalim thought he was about to get dress coded or something.

long story short he fully supports you, he doesn't really get why you want to do it but, he doesn't question it either.

Divus Crewel

One day he just asked the class about what they had planned for the future.

There were all kind of answers tbh, some wanted to work in cosmetics or acting, some wanted to open a bakery, some wanted to be teachers, and there were people in your class that were rich already-

And then it was your turn.

again, the usual.

Half your class was already asking for free tattoos.

But Crewel was quiet for a bit.

He was probably thinking about those faded, gross tattoos that covered people's entire chests or backs, with eagle designs or exes names or something like that.

"Is art school really necessary for that?" pt.2

after you defend your position 😭 he asks you how much do people pay for it.

after you tell him that it can pay bills quite well, he finally agrees that's a good path to follow 💀

would NEVER in his life get a tattoo.

But after you show him the kind of designs you want to make,

he admits that it looks very good on people, it's like their skin is a canvas. in a way.

yeah so, as long as it pays well he will support you 💀 that's it.

Mozus Trein

He already knew that you were an artist but he assumed early on that you would sell paintings at expositions and paint murals and shit like that yk, maybe even sculpt?

And he knew that you wanted to go to art school. He fully supports that alright.

but then one day you corrected him. You wanted to be a tattoo artist, actually.

Mr.Trein is very well educated in art, it's an essential part of history and he kind of expected you to be the next Dalí or smth

He's not going to tell you that it's a lesser form of art, or that you should aspire for more,

but yk, he's an old man. he definitely thought about it.

"does it pay well?" pt.2

even if you got rich by that, he's still a little worried about your future.

"People will always have skin, and they will always want to do something cool with it so don't worry, i won't run out of work!"

it came out a little weird but he got the point. it helped a little.

his mental image about tattoos is very much likes Crewel's at first, and even when you show him your designs he's still somewhat hesitant about the whole thing

then you showed him that some people got tattoos after the loss of a loved one, or some kind of big recovery, meaningful stuff in general.

and ngl it made him see it under a different light.

your dream job could actually be... important??? helpful for some people??? wow.

After that he fully supports you, he won't ever admit it but for a second he wondered if he would ever get his wife's name tattooed 😭

Still he doesn't respect people with anime characters tattooed on their forearm.

Ashton Vargas

He's actually chill about it.

"is art school really necessary tho?" pt.3

Has the same mental image as the previous two about your profession

but like, in a positive way?

the kind of man to get a tribal tattoo, or an eagle across his entire left arm, or even his mom's name inside a winged heart on his chest 😭

doesn't even ask about the money lmao

"Can I get a free one?" pt.2

he thinks it's really cool but that going to art school for it is a waste of time and money, he thinks it would be better to study with 1 professional and then work for them for a while.

he really likes your designs

and genuinely thinks you have a bright future ahead of you!

he won't do the same thing as Crowley, but since you told him he would stare at kids with tattoos too.

then he would tell you about them.

"Huh. But what if someone comes to get their butt tattooed??? would you have to do it??"

"Probably yes?"

"BUT Y/N! WHAT IF THEY FART!?"

also

"Hey but what if your client sneezes? what if they get hiccups???"

he's asking the real questions here.

but yeah, fully supports you from the start, a very solid, proud dad.

#twst x mc #twst x reader #dire crowley #divus crewel #mozus trein #ashton vargas

[whimsicaldragonette]

ARC Review: My Rogue to Ruin by Erica Ridley (The Wild Wynchesters #4)

Preorder

Add to Goodreads

Publication Date: September 12, 2023

Synopsis:

The riotous Wynchester family has taken on a new case to expose a forger, but the prime suspect isn't at all what he seems in this captivating Regency romp from a New York Times bestselling author. Lord Adrian Webb is a no-good, roguish, rakish scoundrel of the first order, which is why his father sends him to the Continent and cuts him off without a farthing. When (penniless) in Rome, what's a disgraced gentleman to do, but dabble in some light forgery? After all, better to leave the original works of art where they belong instead of some English snob's drawing room. But soon his scheme snowballs out of control, and a blackmailer is out to ruin him. The Wynchester family is known for their daring capers to help those in need. Until now, Marjorie has always let her siblings take the lead when it comes to planning undercover work. But someone in London is trying to pass off counterfeits and this time she's the only one with the skill needed to find the culprit. Her investigations lead her straight to Lord Adrian Webb. But every time Marjorie thinks she's figured Adrian out, she learns something new that turns all her assumptions on their head. He's a sinner. A saint. A heartless scoundrel. A loyal brother. A liar. A good kisser. Er…wait… She can't afford to lose herself in the passionate embrace of a man she'll have to turn over to the magistrate as soon as the case is closed.

My Rating: ★★★★★

*My Review and Favorite Quotes below the cut.

My Review:

I always love Erica Ridley's books, and I love the Wild Wynchesters the most. A charming, witty family of orphans with unusual talents who dedicate their less-than-legal efforts to the protection of those in need. What's not to love?

This is Marjorie's book, and it was so nice to get more of an understanding of her character. She has hung back in previous books (for reasons nicely explained here) and so was the Wynchester I was least familiar with. She is not only an incredible artist and forger, she has synesthesia and has a stubborn, independent streak that has previously been well-hidden.

Adrian is a cheerful, charming forger who gets in trouble with a slimy crime boss and requires Marjorie and her family to rescue him. The banter and flirting between them was such fun, and I loved seeing two artists and creative minds working together and sparking ideas off each other. It was inspiring.

I read the entire book with a smile on my face and hated to see the story end. I don't think I could ever get tired of the Wynchesters' heists and capers and sheer chaos. This is definitely one of my favorite romance series. The story is fun and light and flows easily and the characters are well-rounded and feel like real people.

I can't wait for Elizabeth's book. I realize I've been saying that from the beginning, but it's still true. She always manages to steal the show for a bit from the sidelines for me. I'm terribly curious about Jacob's story as well. His trained animals also always steal the show a bit and inject a lot of humor into the story. How could adorable homing kittens and hedgehogs fail to charm?

I have preordered the audiobook so I can listen to the story again when I need to be cheered up. I highly recommend this series for fans of lighthearted Regency romps (one of my favorite genres).

*Thanks to NetGalley and Forever for providing an early copy for review.

Favorite Quotes:

Any book a reader chose to invest time in was by definition a worthy book.

---

“Finally,” Elizabeth said with feeling. “I thought I’d never get to use my sword.”

---

“Any excuse to create art is a good reason.”

---

Marjorie hooked her arm through Adrian’s. “We each have our talents.” Elizabeth brightened. “Is my talent murder?”

#shilo reads #arc review #netgalley #historical romance #romance #regency romance #erica ridley #my rogue to ruin #wild wynchesters #forever #favorites #best books of 2023

[1dmonthlyficroundup]

1D Monthly Fic Roundup

Hi, and welcome to the 1D Monthly Fic Roundup for July 2021! Below you’ll find One Direction fics that were all published this month in the order they were submitted to the blog. We hope you’ll check out these new fics! If you would like to submit your own fic, please check this post on how to submit or visit our blog @1dmonthlyficroundup​.

Happy reading!

Game Changer by @neondiamond

[Harry/Louis, 6k, Mature, tumblr post]

“Did the doctor say what was wrong with you?”

“He thought I was pregnant,” Louis scoffs. “Told me to go home and take a test, a pregnancy test, Haz. Can you imagine the nerve it takes for him to even think that?”

Harry looks lost in his thoughts for a few seconds. “Did you? Take a test, I mean?”

“Of course I didn’t.”

OR: A couple months before playing in his first long-awaited World Cup, Louis finds out he’s pregnant. Harry’s there for the ride.

(I Was Broke) You Healed Me by @fallinglikethis

[Harry/Niall, 12k, Teen and up, tumblr post]

Niall Horan is an unmated pregnant omega living on his own after his alpha boyfriend leaves him. Far from his family and friends in Ireland, Niall is stuck living in a complex for Alpha/Omega bondmates, terrified every day of being found out by his landlord.As if that isn't enough, he's suffering from touch deprivation. Luckily, Niall's doctor can at least help him with that part: she prescribes Niall some cuddle sessions. It's only a little weird that the person she's prescribing him is her brother. Or maybe that's actually a little bit perfect.

The Only Pain in Pleasure is the Pleasure of the Pain by Layne Faire / @laynefaire

[Liam/Zayn, 10k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Liam had followed InZaynity, an artist's Instagram, for ages. Not only was the artist incredibly talented, his voice poured over Liam like warm honey on a winter's night, and his hands were the stuff Liam's wank dreams were made of. However, having Zayn unexpectedly arrive as the newest artist at his best friend's tattoo shop brought Liam's fantasies and reality a little too close for comfort.

Zayn Malik met his boss' friend on his first day at Fine Line Tattoos, and felt an instant attraction. Unfortunately, given Liam's unwillingness to even hold a conversation with him, Zayn was certain the feelings weren't reciprocal. Or were they?

When Liam's new tattoo design falls outside the scope of Tommo's talent, and he recommends Zayn do it, Liam reluctantly agrees. Surely he could manage to spend hours in Zayn's company without revealing his biggest secret, right? Right?

Blow Me Away by LadyAJ_13 / @ladyaj-13

[Louis/Liam, 6k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Louis likes giving blow jobs.

He doesn't exactly get off on it – he's been with people who properly loved it, and he's not quite that into it – but he doesn't mind the feel or the taste and he really, really likes watching his partner lose it, so getting down on his knees regularly is a no brainer.

Which is why it's a bit frustrating that every time he does, Liam hauls him back up again.

Why Didn't We Make Out the Night We Met? by @berzerkshires

[Louis/Harry, 52k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Louis and Harry meet in an alley outside the hotel Louis is staying for the weekend. Harry introduces himself as Ed, and Louis is completely clueless. They have a relationship through text messages, phone calls, shared pictures and Facetime calls. Is a cell phone being the only source of communication enough? Will Louis ever learn that he's really talking to an international popstar? And what happens when the world is shutdown due to a wide spread virus?

I Love This Feeling (But I Hate This Part) by @lululawrence

[Harry/Louis, 7k, Not rated, tumblr post]

“Stand up.”

Harry stood up from the couch, not a moment’s delay.

“Oh my god, is that what that’s like?” Harry turned to Louis, surprise on his face. “I really thought they were somehow exaggerating, but it really is an automatic response with absolutely no thought from me behind it whatsoever.”

Louis sighed again. “You really wanna keep doing this? Have me use my alpha voice on you so you can work on resisting it?”

“Yup,” Harry said, clapping his hands and smiling. “How else am I going to be able to have any chance at reducing the power an alpha voice has on me?”

I Said It Wrong, But I Meant It Right by @lululawrence

[Liam/Nick Grimshaw, 4k, Not rated, tumblr post]

Nick was a bit of a disaster, but she was used to it.

Or so she thought. She had never known how much she could struggle just to function until the new fire lady goddess angel person winked at her.

Oh, Those Summer Nights by cherrylarry / @beelou

[Louis/Harry, 1k, General, tumblr post]

“Are you okay?” He kneels down to inspect where Harry still has his hand pressed against his head.

“Oh! Yeah, I’m fine.”

“My name’s Louis. Can I buy you dinner or something to make up for hitting you in the head?”

Harry crinkles his eyebrows. “Me?”

Louis chuckles. “Yes, you. If you’d like?”

“Yeah. That would be nice.” Harry smiles so that his dimples show. “I’m Harry.”

“Harry, it's a date, then." Louis grins.

An extended scene of the beginning of the movie Grease as a larry au

people fall in love in mysterious ways (maybe just the touch of a hand) by @vintageumbroshirt / 28sunflowers, @justalarryblog / Bekita, @bluecolouredlou , @beelou / cherrylarry, @thedevilinmybrain / devilinmybrain, @hershelsue / docklands, @foreverfanficaddict,@idolizingthelight / idolizingthelightt, @inlockets / loveroflou, @perfectdagger, @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed / we_are_the_same

[Louis/Harry, 13k, Teen and up, tumblr post]

Set in a world where meeting your soulmate causes a literal spark, Louis Tomlinson has no time for fate. He knows all too well the heartbreak that having a soulmate can bring and he'd rather avoid the whole affair. But, when a chance meeting with up-and-coming popstar, Harry Styles, causes the biggest electrical surge the world has ever seen, Louis must confront the truth that sometimes destiny knocks when you least expect it.

Somehow, Someway by @zanniscaramouche

[Louis/Harry, 16k, Teen and up, tumblr post]

Louis Tomlinson has everything all figured out for a smooth post-graduation sailing into the perfect career in the music industry. A canceled class, a high school play, and a disarming set of dimples were not part of the plan. (Especially when they belong to a boy wearing someone else’s jacket.)

Featuring: A punk with the worst timed crush in history, that moody art kid that never shares cigarettes, the cutest pastel-pink wearing boy on the planet, and his unfortunately nice bottle-blond jock of a boyfriend.

Forts & Fortunes by @neondiamond

[Louis/Harry, 2k, General, tumblr post]

It’s finals week at uni and Harry is struggling to find a healthy balance between studying and tending to his needs. Lucky for him, Louis is there to help him out with that.

One way to reduce tension by @neondiamond

[Harry/Louis, 1k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Harry knows of a few ways to help Louis get rid of some pent up stress…

We Got a Call by @greenblueish / bluegreenish

[Louis/Harry, 24k, Mature, tumblr post]

“Fisher from St Peter hospital, hello. Is this Mr Tomlinson?”

Louis’ eyebrows furrow in concern. Why is the hospital calling him? Has someone he knows been in an accident? “Uh, yes?”

“Great. Your results are in. Congratulations, you’re pregnant!”

“Pregnant?” he chokes, the word almost getting caught in his throat.

“Yes, without doubt,” the woman from the hospital confirms, her voice neutral but somehow chirpy. “I recommend promptly booking an appointment with your ob/gyn to discuss how to proceed.”

"I...Yeah, I’ll talk to my … partner.”

or, the one where Louis and Harry Tomlinson are married and Louis accepts a phone call that was definitely meant for his husband.

How Long Will We Fall (Before We Can Climb) by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou

[Louis/Harry, 860 words, General, tumblr post]

Louis' faith in Harry is unbreakable. When they get caught kissing and he is thrown out of his home forever, he has to learn to have faith in himself.

Rope, Leather and Lipstick by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou

[Louis/Harry, 552 words, Mature, tumblr post]

Something about ropes around wrists, and tinting skin the colour of strawberry ice cream, tender and kissed by dark lips. Smudging sticky red lipstick across the slight blue shadow of veins, and assuring hands tightening knots.

Lies & Liability by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou

[Louis/Harry, 34k, Mature, tumblr post]

Harry Styles has only three wishes when he leaves River Dane Manor to go to Town for his first season: that his sister has rented a townhouse that will provide him as many of the comforts of the country life he has grown accustomed to as possible, that he will not trip and fall when he is presented to Her Majesty the Queen, and that he will enter matrimony out of true love, no matter how favourable the match with any which alpha may be.

Sugar at Night by @brightgolden

[Harry/Louis, 33k, Explicit, tumblr post]

With a year left before he completes his degree, a wonderful fiancé, and a baby coming soon, life is going exceptionally well for Harry Styles.

But, the truth always has a way to unravel itself, doesn’t it?

So, what do you do when the person you fell in love with is not the person you thought they were?

I got myself in a mess (and without you I'm in more) by @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed / we_are_the_same

[Zayn/Liam, 9k, Mature, tumblr post]

It’s not desire that has his synapses firing. It’s not the urge to jump him that makes him feel jittery.

It’s the fact that everything about this man - a nice, unassuming guy on Tinder, who studied IT and who seemed like a safe choice - screams danger. It’s the fact that Zayn has been absently touching his necklace for what feels like half the night now.

The necklace. Thank God for Lou, honestly. He’d laughed a bit, at first, when Louis had given it to him, when he’d explained all about the app that it was connected to, the emergency contacts that would be notified and sent his exact location “if you just double tap the back of the charm, see” because Louis was that friend, the mom friend, but right now? Right now Zayn will gladly take the gentle ribbing from Louis if it means he won’t have to spend another moment with this guy.

I don't care if the world knows by @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed / we_are_the_same

[Louis/Harry, 6k, Teen and up, tumblr post]

Harry is fourteen when she buys her first binder. She’s been doing cosplay videos on Tiktok for a while at that point, and it seems like the logical choice. Not that there’s anything wrong with cosplaying characters of the opposite gender and not wanting to fully look like them, she’s seen plenty of wonderful creators put their own spin on characters in a way that transcends the source material, but when it comes to her own cosplays -

She just likes it to be accurate.

She likes her chest to be flat, not soft and curvy, when she’s wearing her Crowley cosplay, or when she’s transformed herself into Loki.

It’s all about the aesthetics.

∞

Over the course of a few years, Harry explores and comes to terms with gender identity.

It’s Probably Because I’ve Got a Big Lesbian Crush on You by yeah_alright / @uhoh-but-yeah-alright

[Louis/Harry, 6k, Teen and up, tumblr post]

Harry's never really concerned herself with being part of the popular crowd. But as the new girl in school the second semester of her junior year, she finds herself unwittingly competing for Queen Bee status against high school royalty Louis Tomlinson. Maybe there's more to their rivalry than it seems.

A not-quite-Mean Girls AU

Going Green (so fucking green) by yeah_alright / @uhoh-but-yeah-alright

[Louis/Harry, 5k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Harry just really loves being used, and Louis really loves Harry. Who is he to deny him?

Or: Reduce, Reuse, Recycle but make it BDSM

the next bit was spanners to my plan by LadyAJ_13 / @ladyaj-13

[Louis/Nick Grimshaw, 6k, Teen and up, tumblr post]

The first time was an accident. The second time was an accident too.

Or: Louis and Nick end up shagging on the sly, everyone sends far too many emojis and far too few words, and eventually they're going to have to sort themselves out.

Trust Me Tonight by @vintageumbroshirt / 28sunflowers

[Louis/Harry, 10k, Explicit, tumblr post]

After Harry’s eighteenth birthday, his father calls him into a meeting to say that he is to be married to Prince Louis of France in just over a week.

Harry is excited, of course. The arrangement is better than any he could’ve hoped for, with such a young, handsome and kind husband.

There is just one issue: Harry doesn’t know what happens on his nuptials, or how to get pregnant to give Louis the heir that he needs.

Can we make it any more obvious? by LouStylesHTommo / @smolhilariousbeans

[Louis/Harry, 6k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Five times the boys accidentally walked in on Harry & Louis plus one time they did it on purpose.

Aka Niall, Zayn, Liam being supportive of Lou&H sexy shenanigans.

darling just dive right in by @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed / we_are_the_same

[Zayn/Louis, 5k, Teen and up, tumblr post]

Louis can’t think of a worse place to be than at the Malik estate, attending his ex boyfriend's wedding.

Shining just for you by ThoseFookin_Avacados / @hlhome28

[Harry/Louis, 1k, General, tumblr post]

For a clumsy person, Harry danced with quite the grace- spinning around Louis, billowy light robes brushing against his firm darker ones. Despite his slightly smaller build, Louis was decivingly strong, his grip on Harry's waist tight as they performed their steps in sync. Like two opposite halves of a whole, like ones reflection in the mirror, like the sun and the moon.

Part 2 of the Prompt Generator series

crown me with your heart (your love is king) by @perfectdagger

[Louis/Harry, 41k, General, tumblr post]

The universe must’ve had a field day when it decided to plan Harry’s life. There was no plausible explanation for anything that happened in his life anymore. Try as he may, he would never be able to control his life nor predict what would happen next. What were the odds that the one person he was sure he had fallen in love with but had completely let him slip out of his life, already resigned to the fact nothing could ever evolve between them due to Harry’s future with Eroda, happened to be the same person who had Harry’s future in his hand?

A The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Wedding au in which Harry is the Crown Prince of the small island of Eroda and Louis’ uncle is trying to take the throne from him, with a slight a/b/o twist and some more.

#trackinghappily #1dsource #tracksintheam #trackinghome #28th appreciation #july 2021 #one direction fan fic

[kayzume]

Pairing: Android!Tendou Satori x SicklyF!Reader

Genre: Angst-ish

TW: Character Death (non gore)

WC: 1.7k

Note: Rushed...very. This is my contribution to Haikyuu HQ server collab and my very first time joining one, so I’m uh nervous af. I hope this was sufficient enough:)). Lots of talented writers and artists are participating so make sure to check the masterlist right here

Also: Mama @prismaroyal thank you so much (T^T)..what would I do without you🥺!! @shinrurie and @yacoka thanks for hyping me😳😭

Back to Masterlist

"Is X00 ready?" your father spoke in a low voice.

He looked at you and smiled "just a little bit more my angel, dad is gonna give you the companion of a lifetime" he told you gently. 

"If I even have a lifetime dad," you told him weakly and he gave you this mourning look "y/n don't say such words!" he said to you while shaking his head. He crouched down to your level and caressed your face "I'm gonna make sure that this droid will help you recover, it's not over yet please have more faith in yourself, you'll be fine, you'll get better and-" he sighs then grasps your hands lightly "and we'll be together for a long long time."

You knew that your father was grasping on his false hopes of you getting better. If somebody looks at you in your current state they would surely figure out that your gravely ill, your skin has lost its regular healthy appearance, your eyes were sunken.Your father is a scientist, he's done a lot to help you recover. He tried inventing various ways, medicines, and such to help your gravely ill body to become healthy, but to this day, nothing. None of your father's hard work barely made an impact on you. It always ends up on him getting upset that none of them is helping until today that is.

"He's X00, he will be your companion from now on, he's modeled after caretakers and nurses I'm sure he will be a good factor for your health" your father exclaimed while smiling widely. You shift your sights from your dad to 'X00' he was tall and kind of lanky, with wild red hair and mysterious red eyes, for an android, his eyes seemed so full of life, a clear contrast from yours, which appeared lifeless even for a young girl such as yourself? he was staring at you and you felt weird, like his gaze pierced into your soul itself. Shaking the thought, you stared back at him and he blinked. Wait did he just blink? "He can- h-he blinked, at me!" you told your father incredulously, but he only laughed at your surprised reaction.

"Well of course he can, he was built to act completely human, how else would he be able to sympathize with you if he can't?" your father said in a matter-of-fact tone. "I'll leave you to him so you can get to know him" he continued not leaving time for you to say something. You sighed in defeat at the realization that you are now stuck with a mecha humanoid that's just standing there, staring at you silently. Your father must be kidding, how in the world are you supposed to communicate with a metal piece of junk. You were never a fan of technology in the first place, always believing they were a pain and they stole a lot of your father's time. You looked back at 'X00' he doesn't look half bad if you bypass his blood red eyes “You-" you tried starting, but then you started coughing vigorously, it was painful to say the least noticing bits of blood on your hanky, you decided speaking is not the best idea at the moment. He looked clearly worried and you averted your eyes in response, away from his face. You closed your eyes and faced the other side of the lab overlooking the garden, but when you opened your eyes he was there crouched in front of you, staring.

"What the fuck!" you exclaimed startled, a hand to your pounding heart.

Then suddenly you felt a hand to your head making its way to caress your cheek tenderly, it was him. He looked extremely gentle for someone who doesn't have a real heart, you happen to look away only to take notice of your hand now resting on his other hand, something you didn't even notice. You peeked at his face, he was sporting a sweet smile, and you feel the hotness creep all the way from your neck to your face. You lightly try to pull your hand back "Oh uhm give my hand back please" you squeaked. He let go of your hand and proceeded to the back of your wheelchair, slowly pushing your way out of the lab "D-do you have a name? b-besides from X00?" you asked dumbly. Of course, he doesn't, he was only activated today "How about I give you one?" He didn't answer, so you opted to stay quiet as well. How exactly is he supposed to help you when he doesn't even talk?!

Time passes by the two of you and he's slowly acknowledging you. It feels like you're teaching a chick how to speak, rather than him caring for you, it was the other way around. Every time you are to spend time with your mother and father, he would be taken away by your father's attendants, claiming that time with the family was for the family alone, you always missed the forlorn look painted in his eyes. The first time that it happened it took you solid 10 minutes to reassure him that you'd only be apart for a short while. You might not admit it to anyone, but being around him slowly makes you feel at ease and surprisingly you could feel more energy surging through your body. As crazy as it is his presence gave more to you than necessary, and you're loving every bit of it disregarding the fact that being with someone like him is impossible. He understood you and stood by you regardless of what is and whatnot. You were thankful for him being a shoulder to lean on and just for being your friend.

Today, you and X00 will be picking out some flowers. Your mother had said that the air outside mixed with the flowery aroma will help you breathe better and upon hearing such, X00 ushers you both out immediately, you have regained your footing all thanks to X00. Though he barely speaks he always makes your day by humming a specific tune, It was your inspiration to be able to walk again, to be able to dance along with his beautiful music. You knew in the short time that you were together that something changed, you weren't able to pinpoint what it was exactly, but it's definitely there looming over you.

Some things were starting to feel different, the innocent looks turned to something more when it's just the two of you, for you at least. You try to brush off the feelings evidently growing on you as time passes by, you always have to remind yourself "y/n he's a metal junk, he doesn't do feelings" after you're mini realization you fought back the forthcoming tears, but to no avail. You looked up at the sky, asking whoever was up there in heaven, "why me, why us?"

"I" he started, making you look at him "Hmm?" You urged him to continue

"I want...I want a name" he said. The gesture stirred something heart-warming in your chest, but before you could even give him a response, you felt a sudden chill in your back and slowly you feel your world begin growing dark.

Murmurs, murmurs, and more murmurs. You can hear voices but all words seem to be incoherent.

"How is she?" a voice you recognized as your mother's, you can already imagine her pacing around the room by the sound of her concerned voice. She was the type to fret over everything.

"It's not looking good" you presume was your father's, as he gave an exasperated sigh. You thought why was everyone so gloomy? what is happening?

You slowly opened your eyes to the blinding white lights "ugh" you let out in pain. Why does everything hurt? What is with all these tubes and wires stuck on you? You know what was going on. Deep down you knew, but you decidedly keep on rejecting the idea of you passing. You thought if you leave now, how is he gonna keep going, and for what? The thought of him made you snap. 

"WHERE IS HE?!" you screamed startling your parents.

"y/n calm down, sweetie," your mother said while rubbing your back to calm you down "stressing will only make things worse, hmm" as if on cue you felt a sharp pang course through your body "Argh!" you yelped in pain, "hah..hah...hah" you started breathing heavily, the pain is starting to become unbearable, "Mom it hurts...so much" you clung to her as if it will make things any better. Your face is scrunching in pain, tears are starting to sting your eyes. Your mother was cradling you in her arms, you can feel her shaking. She was crying silently and it makes things extra clear for you, This is the end.

You calmed yourself down and pulled away from your mother. You looked her in the eyes and stated "I want to see him, mom, for the last time, please" you pleaded with her. She kissed your forehead and gave you a comforting hug. You both knew that this meant goodbye and it was hard to let go. Your father couldn't stand to look at you so helplessly that he decided to leave without saying goodbye. It was for the best you thought. The door screeched open, he stood before you. He looks forlorn as if something was taken away from him. "Come" you signaled him to come closer, he scooted next to you. You caressed his face, memorizing every inch, "I- I want you to remember that even though it was only a  short period of time that I was with you, I have loved every single aspect there is about you. I remembered you stating that you wanted a name, hmm, your name shall be Tendou because you were heaven's grace to me" you whispered. "You may not be able to feel love, but remember that this heart has only beaten for you." you continued leaning close to put his hands near your heart, with a longing look you placed a loving kiss on his forehead.

You gave him one last smile, "Farewell, Tendou"

Tendou cradled your lifeless body against his, berating himself over not being able to shed a tear. Deep inside him he was praying, “In our next life we’ll be together, I promise” feeling the heaviness in his heart “I loved you too”

#hq x reader #hq x you #hq x y/n #hq x female reader #hq tendou x reader #hq angst #hq #haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu angst #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu tendou #hq fanfic #tendou angst #tendou x y/n #tendou x reader #tendou #tendou satori #tendou satori x reader #tendou fanfiction #tendō satori #satori x reader #satori tendo x reader #tw: death

[writingsfromstarfleet]

The Artist - Data X Reader

A/N: This wasn’t a request per say, though I know @sorlux did ask for some more Data, and here he is! Alas, I must admit: Do I hate this? Sorta. Do I know where I was going with this? Definitely not. Do I hope you all enjoy it regardless? Absolutely :’)

Art was a passion of yours, and had been as long as you could remember. Any form of material, be it a pen, paints, or clay, you were able to create something beautiful from it. Your family had always said you were gifted, and hoped for you to pursue a career in it. Instead, you had opted for a career in space. Your decision to join Starfleet over attending an art college was disappointing to your parents, though you knew in your heart they would still support it regardless. You were top of your xenobiology class, and had been offered a position on the USS Enterprise-D under Jean-Luc Picard, a well known captain amongst Starfleet cadets.

Two years had passed on the Enterprise, and you had made some wonderful friends amongst the crew. Least likely and yet possibly the closest one you had was with Data. He had become a very close friend, despite seeming closed off in the beginning. Now, however, you couldn't be more thankful for him. Data was a fan of the arts too, from music to craft, and that was how you bonded. Data was unaware of your talents in the creative department, it was something you had kept to your own whilst on the ship.

"Lieutenant Y/N, may I join you?" You smiled as you were greeted in Ten Forward by Data, looking up at the android and motioning for him to sit.

"Would I ever say no to you, Data?" You laughed, and he tilted his head in acknowledgement and sat. The silence was comfortable, the two of you just enjoying each others presence.

"Y/N, might I ask you something?" Data inquired, his usual tone of voice giving no emotions away. You smiled.

"Of course, what is it?"

"I have been writing another poem, and I was wondering if I could perform it to you before I read to the crew, and perhaps get your opinion on it?"

Your smile grew wider.

"Absolutely, Data. I have to head off back to work now, but how about you meet me in my quarters at 19:00 hours and you can show me then?"

"That would be acceptable. I shall see you then, Lieutenant," He nodded, and you squeezed his shoulder with a wink and left to return to your duties.

The day had dragged itself on, menial tasks here and there; a less exciting day than you were used to. Still, you had the night to yourself. Throwing on some old clothes and pulling out your draw full of art supplies, you began working once more on a brand new piece, a portrait of a woman. Portraits were never your speciality, though you felt it was time to branch out your line of style, and what better way to do it than to leave the comfort zone.

So engrossed in your art, not to mention the boredom of the day you'd had, it had completely slipped your mind that Data was due to arrive for his poetry reading at seven, of which it was currently quarter to. Still oblivious, you continued your art, humming and singing as you focused. The bell to your quarters startled you, and you panicked, trying your best to hide your art.

Dressed in clothes not covered in paint, and the canvas hidden badly behind the drapes on the wall, you opened the door and greeted Data with a smile.

"Data, apologies for the wait, do come in." You gestured for him to enter and stepped aside.

"No need for apologies, Y/N, I thank you for allowing me to perform for you." He pulled a couple of sheets of paper out and set them on the table.

"Mind if I grab a drink before you begin?" You asked, receiving a shake of the head from the android.

Standing, you left towards the small kitchen area of your quarters. Data took his time to study your quarters; they were kept neat and tidy, and exactly what he'd expect from you. His curiosity peaked when he caught sight of the corner of a canvas peeking out from behind some drapes. He stepped forward and pulled them back, revealing your half finished painting.

"Data" you said, voice monotone. You made no effort to move or cover it up; he'd already seen it.

"This is remarkable, Y/N. I was not aware you were a painter." Data's words carried a fascination reminiscent of a child. You half smiled and spoke up.

"Not something I shared, really. My parents weren't the biggest fans of me not pursuing it as a career, so I chose to do it silently after I joined Starfleet."

Data turned to you. "Why would you hide such a talent?" He sounded very much confused, astounded even.

"I don't know, shame I guess. I could have been the child my parents always wanted, the art major who went on to be big in that world, and instead I chose science and a life in space. Whenever I do art, I think of my family, and I think of how much I must have disappointed them, Data. Every time I reach for a brush I feel guilty, like I should be back at home rather than here."

You stopped talking when you felt tears running down your face, not noticing at first that you started to cry. Never had you spoken of how you felt about all of this, and here you were, unexpectedly opening up. Data, unfamiliar with human emotions, did his best to try and alleviate what you were feeling in that moment. He walked to you, and placed his hands on your shoulders, to which you responded by wrapping your arms around him. It was a silent exchange of care, one you appreciated very much.

"I'm sorry, Data, you're here for your poetry, not my therapy session" you joked, pulling back from him to wipe your eyes, though Data was having non of it. He sat you down and knelt before you.

"My poetry does not matter whilst you are hurting this much. You should never have to feel shame over choosing a life for yourself that you wanted. It is not your parents life, and you should not feel guilty for having such a talent." Data spoke softly, knowing that you needed to hear what he had to say. He was looking you right in the eye, and you knew everything he was saying was true. You had no reason to feel like this, they would be proud of the person you were now, regardless, and they would just be happy you kept on doing art as a hobby.

"You're right, Data. Thank you." Your words were quiet, but he heard them loud and clear. "Shall we get to your poetry then?" You chuckled slightly, as he held out a hand to help you stand, ever a gentleman.

Data's head twitched, as he pulled two paintbrushes out from behind his back.

"No, tonight, we are painting." He had what you could only call a look of mischief on his face, and as began to set up two easels side by side, you knew you had found a true soulmate in Data.

#star trek imagine #star trek #star trek the next generation #star trek tng #the next generation #tng #data #data soong #data x reader #data imagine #imagine #x reader

[fell-in-love-didnt-you]

Carry Me Away With You: SnowBaz Fanfic

Simon Snow doesn't expect much from life. His father has drilled into him from the beginning two things: work alone and never trust vampires. Simon breaks both rules in a matter of days. After he collapses at the doorstop of an unknown house, he's pulled into a world he has no idea how to escape from. The question is: does he want to?

...

AH! This is my Carry On Big Bang 2020 fic. I'm so excited to have finally posted it. It also comes with AMAZING artwork by the extremely talented @thehoneyedhufflepuff on tumblr (who's also a fantastic writer on Ao3 with the @ The_Honeyed_Hufflepuff - I'd definitely recommend the Fire-verse fics). Please, please, PLEASE show them some love both on here and tumblr. The artwork is magnificent and exactly as I envisioned Simon and Baz in this time period. (scene from fic) (title scene-isn't is beautiful?!)

Here’s the link to the tumblr post!

Thank you @carry-on-big-bang for giving me the opportunity to work with such an amazing artist and fellow fic writer and for putting on such a wonderful collaboration project. I have truly enjoyed every interaction I had with @thehoneyedhufflepuff and encourage everyone reading this to go give them a follow and read their amazing work on Ao3. 

As always, here’s the link to the Ao3 version in case you prefer to read that way: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26150491/chapters/63625177

On to the fic! 

Lover.

 The word felt foreign on Simon’s tongue, like a heavy alcohol or a long-rusted coin that played on the tip of the tongue. There was nothing else, though. ‘Fling’ felt like a small blanket: it covered the important parts (the lovemaking, the flirtatious smiles, the sharing of a bed), but it also left out the parts that made Simon’s legs turn to jelly (the deep conversations, the sweet cheek kisses, the touches that lingered for hours afterwards).

 Partner, however, did not fit either. Partner implied official courting, and this…was not that. Official courting entailed walks in the park with a supervisor, love letters sent in perfumed envelopes, and an eventual proposal of marriage.

 It did not entail laying bed together with only centimeters of space between, breaths mingled in the shared space. It certainly did not entail what had occurred a mere half-hour before now. ‘Partners’ did not entail premarital relations, and those relations certainly did not occur between a supernatural creature of nightmares and a boy raised to kill such creatures.

 Simon placed his hand tentatively on the side of Baz’s face. His eyes were closed, but Simon knew better; sharing a bed for the past month had taught him when Baz was truly gone to the world. The pounding pulse point and flickering of eyes gave the vampire away. He was resting, but not out.

 “Darling,” Baz drawled, and it made Simon flush (not that he wasn’t already red from head-to-toe; Baz had that effect on him). Baz’s eyes cracked open, and he flashed a smile that forced Simon to see what made vampires so alluring to the regular eye. “Darling, do you have any idea what time it is?”

 A laugh bubbled out of Simon’s chest, and he looked past Baz’s head to stare at the grandfather clock that stood ominously in the corner of the room. It was one of Simon’s favorite objects: dark blue, a sun and moon facing opposite each other, stars sliding past as did the hours of the day. Baz had bought it for him a mere three months ago, placing it in their shared chambers so Simon knew the time.

 Baz was weird like in the sense that there were no clocks beside this in the manor. Time is cyclical, he had explained to Simon once. He hated it because it reminded him that of what he was: stuck moving forward in his mind while his body remained in the past. Simon progressed forward, though, and he had been adamant about having at least one way of telling time. He’d even withheld himself from Baz until the vampire had conceded, a glare on his face the entire time.

 Simon often stared at that clock as they made love.

 The clock read slightly past two in the morning, and Simon told Baz as such. Baz hummed in response and placed his hand on Simon’s neck, thumbing a mole that rested above his pulse point. Often, that mole would have a ring of purpled bruises around it after nights like this, and the very thought had Simon suppressing a smile. Baz, however, did not conceal his affection, and he placed a long, slow kiss to Simon’s lips.

 Simon had long ago (give or take three months) begun to categorize the kisses they shared. The most common were the ones shared in private that would have the public outraged: brushes of lips against cheeks and foreheads even though they were not married. What a scandal, Simon thought distantly. Those kisses occurred in passing when one of them would be running to the study or just about to leave the house for some reason or another. Simon adored these brushes of affection that had no real bite; it meant whatever this thing that was happening was more than sex.

 Simon ached for the bruising crush of lips that occurred when they fell into bed. He yearned for the swelling of lips and clashing of teeth and maybe the accidental cut of a fang-on-lip. Even the tiniest bit of venom would set his body aflame, and Simon likened it to the fever, only where Death had touched him before, Baz now did.

 The ones Simon treasured above all others were these kisses: no heat, no bite, but also not something entirely platonic. A feather-light kiss on the cheek could be taken romantically if it were between a man and a woman, but Simon knew that, if ever caught, Baz would claim brotherly affection for Simon, explain that that’s how his Parisian family acted, that physical affection was common between two friends. These kisses, on the other hand, would have them thrown in jail. Simon would be forced to flee over the crime of homosexuality, and Baz would pay his way out of a scandal.

 There was no denying that these kisses that occurred in this bed were of the utmost romantic quality and kind and would put many husbands and wives to shame.

 Baz drew back and smiled, his eyes still pleasantly closed. He sighed through his nose, and Simon allowed himself to steal a glance. This was so new, and he was afraid that one wrong look would shatter the beautiful bubble he’d surrounded himself in. Baz had probably done this with many people before. He was…older. That’s all Simon knew. There was no discernable year or century to pin him down in, but Simon realized months ago that Baz had seen the sun rise on this Earth possibly over one-hundred-thousand times.

 Baz had probably been in love before. The thought made Simon blue. Baz was his first everything; Simon was Baz’s first nothing.

 It is probably love, Simon thought as Baz slowly peeled his eyes opened. There was no explanation other than a spell of sorts (not like a witch’s spell, but like a spell of sickness) that Baz’s vampiric charm had placed Simon under. His father used to warn him that vampires were excellent charmers and that the only way to save oneself from their grasp was to remain alert at all times.

 Simon’s father would be rolling in his premature grave right about now.

 The sheets shifted between Simon’s legs as he pressed closer to the lukewarm body across from him. Baz never ran hot; his skin was usually cold to the touch. Nights like these, however, coerced the little blood in Baz’s body to rise to the surface, turn him a color like the living, and make him vampirically burn up (though vampirically burning up meant room temperature for humans).

 Baz pressed his lips into the mop of curls atop Simon’s head and breathed in deeply. His arms came to wrap around Simon’s back, and his hands splayed across Simon’s shoulder blades. He said something, though it was muffled by Simon’s hair.

 “Hm?” Simon asked, turning his face upward to look directly at Baz. He pushed the raven hair out of Baz’s eyes. “What did you say?”

 Baz subconsciously turned his cheek into Simon’s touch, and Simon bit at his lip to keep in a smile. “I said,” Baz murmured, turning back to Simon, “that we are spending Christmas in the Surrey House this year. I forgot to tell you this morning.”

 Simon giggled at that, and Baz lightly slapped his side. Of course Baz had forgotten to say that this morning; other…happenings had occurred. Simon had also giggled because calling it the Surrey House put the building to shame. In Dorking, the manor (as it should be called) sat on acres of sprawling land that included part of a natural river, a small section of local woods, and a large field. Baz’s family’s business was still a mystery to Simon, but he at least knew how Baz made his money. Wine was apparently very expensive in large quantities, and the cellar of the manor could hold the worth of an entire village.

 The manor itself was no laughing matter. Crafted with the finest cobblestone, it had stayed in Baz’s family for centuries, and even with what little Simon actually knew of Baz’s family, the amount of rooms in all the property Baz inherited gave away enough to know that many children had been born. Because Baz was the eldest (cue laughter) and had lived the longest (cue even more laughter), all the property had been passed to him.

 And now Simon reveled in it. The large London townhouse they occupied for the majority of the year was Simon’s favorite. The memories here were richer than any fine chocolate or wine that Baz could procure.

 “Why can’t we spend Christmas here?” Simon asked quietly, his fingers idly playing with the long strands of Baz’s hair. “We’ve never just stayed-“ Simon stopped himself prematurely. He wanted to say ‘home’ but couldn’t let that word slip from his mouth. He’d stayed with Baz in this house for almost three years, and he’d never left to live elsewhere, but the word ‘home’ insinuated something Simon would not admit to himself. He started again: “We’ve never had Christmas here.”

 Goosepimples raised on his arms as Baz’s hands drew nonsensical lines across his back. Baz lowered his head down, and his lips were pressed against Simon’s forehead as he explained, “We’ve never done a lot of things, darling.” The pet name caused Simon to blush and stutter, and he could feel Baz’s smile against forehead. “We always spent Christmases in our other properties when I was little.”

 Simon thought about that for a moment. He did not have very memorable Christmases growing up. His greatest gift as a child had been a stocking with three ripe oranges in it. Simon had known the money his father had sacrificed to buy such fruit. With Baz, however…he’d never had such wonderful gifts in his entire life, and they hadn’t even been given to him for celebrations.

 Simon recalled one morning where he’d complained of his weathering shoes, and not even four hours later, Baz had presented him with the nicest pair of leather boots he’d ever seen. Sure, they were not to be worn in public (Simon had received an entire outfit from Baz’s…sister? ...for going out in), but they were gorgeous and, no doubt, expensive.

 Then there was the jewelry - the gorgeous amethyst ring that sat on the bedside table had been a birthday present last year. In truth, Simon had not expected anything from Baz in any capacity when they’d decided he could stay in the house for an indefinite amount of time. He’d not expected that, in the middle of the hottest summer in a long time, Baz would nonchalantly pass him the most expensive thing Simon had ever set eyes on and insist he keep it. He’d not expected Baz to tell him it was an heirloom dating back at least one-hundred years, and he’d not expected to later cradle it to his chest and cry.

 As if to add to their conversation about Christmas, Simon looked over towards the window and saw snow falling outside. The snow had been coming down steadily over the last few months, but it had only begun to stick recently. He smiled to himself as he watched the windowsill become more and more covered. Snow had brought him here in the first place; it was only natural he be thankful for it now.

  …

  He was almost dead; that Simon Snow was sure of.

 He could not feel his toes, and the crystalline breath puffing out from his mouth was becoming smaller by the minute. He was dizzy, hungry, and more tired than he’d even been in his short life. A cut on his forehead trickled blood into the snow beneath his feet, and he barely had time to register why or where he was bleeding before he fell onto the pavement beneath him.

 Thank Christ he was in an alleyway. Had he been in the street, feet would have stepped over and onto him, and he might crack a rib. Although, Simon thought to himself, this was a fate worse than death. Perhaps he should let the Lord have Their way with him. If this was to be his death, then why not welcome it?

 Simon could not go home. His father would never accept a defeat like this. Simon could practically hear the frustration that would be present if he tried to make his way back to their little house on the outskirts of town. How was it that Simon had been out hunting vampires for three months and not caught a single one? How was it that Simon had left a strong, capable, young man with fervor in his eyes and returned a skeleton of his former self?

 The truth was simple: Simon was very nearly dead. He knew he’d caught the scarlet fever, and Simon also knew it would kill him like it had killed thousands of other.

 Simon dragged himself to his feet and rounded out of the alleyway, turning onto a dimly lit street lined with houses. This is not such a bad place to die, he thought to himself. Maybe no one would pilfer his body for the money that did not exist or the jewelry that was absent. Perhaps he’d retain some dignity in his death.

 Simon stumbled barely two meters in front of himself before he fell down against the door of a nice house. He could feel the warmth through the door. It was almost sad to die on such a lovely doorstep. Telling by the clickity-clack of footsteps from behind the door, he’d probably disturbed the lady of the house. Somehow, Simon could not find it in himself to care as he slid into what must be death.

 But it was not death. Indeed, Simon had lapsed into a comatose state, but he awoke to the sounds of a plate clattering onto a table. The room was warm, and when Simon tried to move his hands, he found himself between a lovely down comforter and an even lovelier mattress. A fire burned brightly in the corner of the room, and he watched as a silhouette of a man moved in front of the flame.

 “Am I dead?” Simon asked, his voice hardly above a whisper.

 The man laughed, and he sat down beside the bed. His face came into view, and Simon saw the most beautiful person God had ever created. Then the beautiful man brought a cool washcloth down on Simon’s forehead, and Simon then realized how much he was burning up.

 “Lord above, no,” the man answered. His touch was gentle across Simon’s aching head, and he placed the towel down a moment later to instead bring a glass of water to Simon’s lips. Simon arched into it, and a pained noise escaped his lips as the water slid down his throat. When was the last time he’d had water? Did brown snow count?

 After the glass was drained, Simon began to take in his surroundings. The room looked to be one of a rich man: the walls were lined in beautiful wallpaper, plush rugs were laid down across the wood floor, and the size of the room was larger than the house Simon had grown up in. The man wore a waistcoat with a gold pocket watch, and his hair was swept back neatly from his face, though a piece was falling into his eyes. Could Simon even call him a man? Upon further inspection, he could not be older than his mid-twenties, and even that was a stretch. There were no wrinkles or stress lines, and his eyes held a kind light.

 “Are we,” Simon started, his voice cracking on the second word. A second glass of cold water was placed to his lips, and Simon began again. “Are we sure I am not dead?”

 The man smiled. “Who are you?” he asked, brushing back matted curls from Simon’s head. Simon internally hoped he did not look too worse for wear. “How did you come to be on the streets?” the man continued.

 Simon did not know how to answer that. His name would be a good place to start, though he wouldn’t give his full name. “I am Simon.”

  …

  The packing for the Surrey manor proved to be more difficult for Simon than he’d originally anticipated. They’d be gone for the second half of December and a little into January, and the capacity of Simon’s suitcase was being tested to the highest degree because of his coats (courtesy of Baz’s…sister?). Baz had not said to pack lightly, but Simon didn’t like the idea of bogging down the carriage with an extra suitcase. Plus, Baz had already sent ahead a few trunks of clothes and other things to the manor earlier in the week.

 Speaking of the devil, Simon nearly leapt out of his skin as cool arms surrounded his middle. Of course, there was no need to be frightened. Simon had long since been used to both the temperature of Baz’s skin and Baz’s ability to be deathly silent.

 Baz’s chapped lips brushed against the nape of Simon’s neck, and he pressed a chaste kiss there. “Packing?” he asked, as though he did not see the myriad of clothing strewn about the room. The wardrobe was open haphazardly, revealing Simon’s messy side. He never put away his clothes with care like Baz did. They were clothes. Why did they deserve such high care?

 Simon placed his arms over Baz’s and leaned into the embrace, closing his eyes and resting his head atop Baz’s shoulder. The fact that Baz was a behemoth had once bothered Simon, but now it made lounging together easier. Simon could always fit his head neatly onto Baz’s shoulder, and Baz’s hands fit perfectly in the dip of Simon’s lower back.

 “Unsuccessfully,” Simon replied, sighing through his nose. “If we were not going for so long, I would not require so much clothing.” Baz chuckled behind him, and Simon smiled to the ceiling. He ran his hands idly over Baz’s exposed forearms. Today, Baz had stayed inside the house and, therefore, had not changed into any outerwear or even bothered to keep his long sleeves down to his wrists. Truly, it was a state of undress Simon had never expected of the wine merchant to be capable of. Simon had expected the ‘young’ business tycoon to always be dressed in a matching frock and waistcoat and buttoned up to the nines, but formalities had long since disappeared between them.

 “Is there also business to attend to in Surrey?” Simon wondered aloud, pulling himself away from Baz and turning in his embrace. When they were this close, Simon had to tip his head up to look Baz in the eye. Baz nodded, and Simon sighed. Work plagued the both of them.

 “Not on Christmas,” Baz reassured, bringing up a hand to tip Simon’s chin up. “Not in the whole week before or after Christmas. I cleared all of it for us.”

 Us. The word made Simon swallow thickly. He nodded, walking away from the warmth of Baz’s hold (that he got from Simon’s body heat) and rummaging through the wardrobe. Simon heard Baz sigh, and after a few moments of silence, he assumed Baz had left. However, a whisper only a hair’s width away surprised him.

 “Pack what I brought you from France,” Baz whispered, pressing another chaste kiss to that mole on Simon’s neck. Then he was gone.

 A furious blush ravaged Simon’s cheeks, and he needed a few moments to steady himself. France. Baz’s purchase in France. That trip alone turned Simon’s internal temperature up a few notches. It seemed like ages ago, but it had really only been two months since France. The French had strange ideas of erotica, and Baz had seemed to be in line with all of them. Pack what I bought you from France. Christ, Simon hadn’t looked at it since France for a reason. It embarrassed him, and the fact that he liked that embarrassment made him even redder.

 Simon opened a small (locked) drawer on his side of the wardrobe meant for expensive jewelry and priceless cufflinks and pins, and he pulled out what Baz had bought him in France.

  …

  The paperwork piled nearly a meter high from the floor. Baz entrusted the various receipts, warehouse reports, and paperwork tracking of the wine to Simon. Officially, Simon was brought into Baz’s household to deal with the paperwork that accumulated at the end of each month. Unofficially, Simon had been brought into the house to die.

 Simon admitted to himself that this was a much better outcome. When he’d fallen against the door five months ago, who could have known he’d end up with a well-paying job? So well-paying, in fact, that Simon was able to send lumpsums of money back to his father under the pretense that it was payment for hired slayings. His father was none the wiser as to the actual situation of Simon’s employment.

 As Simon crossed some ‘t’s and dotted some ‘i’s, his thoughts ran to Baz. They had been doing that more often as of late, and while Simon had once been able to pin it down on acquainting himself with his employer (friend), he could no longer fall under that umbrella. The thoughts (once just about the upkeep of Baz’s hair and the price of his clothing) now turned to running his hands through that hair and peeling away that expensive clothing until it lay on the floor beneath them.

 Simon cleared his throat and refocused on the task ahead. He’d lost track of a sentence concerning a shipment of sherry to a port in Boston. As Simon read about a spilled barrel, a hand on his shoulder jolted him from his thoughts.

 Baz’s chuckle reassured Simon, and he looked up from the candlelit paperwork ahead of him. The stack on the floor had to be completed and filed within the week. An entire day of Simon sitting at the desk had already elapsed, and he could guess why Baz had entered this small study that had been given to him.

 “Have I missed supper?” Simon asked, looking back at the death certificate of the sherry. Baz’s hand lingered a moment longer before falling away, and Simon missed the cool touch through his thin shirt.

 Baz came to lean over him and stare at the document in front of Simon. “No,” he replied, his breath ghosting over the shell of Simon’s ear. Simon’s eyes flicked to the side, and he was met with a Baz deep in thought. “I’ll have to speak to my Boston warehouse manager. Sherry is too expensive to be wasted.” Baz turned to look at Simon, and the close proximity of their lips had Simon’s face heating up. Hopefully the candlelight covered the flush of Simon’s neck and face.

 Simon turned away and pulled a separate document out, and responded, “You were compensated with the price of a barrel and a half for the ruined barrel.” He pointed to the line in question where the price was brought up, and Baz hummed noncommittedly in his ear.

 Very suddenly Baz was standing behind Simon, and Simon floundered to turn in his chair and face him. Baz was still deep in thought, though Simon couldn’t imagine why. Sherry was not Baz’s largest exports if the receipts were to be believed, and even if it was, why would it give him such a headache? A single barrel in six months was nothing compared to what some other merchants lost in a single day.

 “Something on your mind?” Simon asked. Baz’s eyes slowly ghosted over to Simon, and Simon had the distinct feeling of being seen but in a distant sort. Like Baz had recognized a version of Simon that existed before and was instead remembering that Simon.

 After a moment of silence, Baz regained composure and smiled. His canines flickered in the light, and Simon fought the urge to cover his neck. Of course, there was no reason for alarm. Growing up with his father, however, left some stones Simon was willing to leave unturned, at least where it concerned Baz.

 Who was not a creature of evil.

 “We should eat,” Baz suggested, looking towards the door of the study. “It should be about time.” As if on cue, the bell signaling supper rang, and Baz smiled again. “Join me?” he asked, as though Simon could deny.

 Simon had picked up on the habits of his employer (friend) in the first few weeks of living together, but they seemed to become stranger as time went on. Baz hardly ate, and when he did, it was only a few bites. Most of his diet (in front of Simon, at least) consisted of wines and cheeses. No substantial food ever made its way into Baz in front of Simon. That was not to say that Baz could not eat sometimes later when Simon was not around, but it made no sense to Simon that Baz would invite him to eat in the dining room only to actually eat later.

 Unless…

 Simon shook the thought from his head, and it was soon replaced with images of a rather biblical sense.

  …

  The Surrey manor was alive and bustling when they arrived. The snow had nearly postponed the trip, but it had let up in time for the carriage to safely carry Baz and Simon to the manor. The Surrey manor had more servants than their normal lodgings did, and when Simon had first asked why years ago, Baz had not answered.

 Simon partially knew why now. The part he knew was that Baz kept his more expensive wines in the cellars beneath the manor. That answer used to satisfy Simon, but now it caused him to wonder more and more. They had promised honesty once after Baz’s nature had been revealed. The promise had been broken only once, and it had been by Simon, so he didn’t have a right to question Baz’s extra patrolling of this particular property.

 The trunks were carried to the room by two men Simon had met briefly last year at the manor, and then Baz was swept away into work. Tonight, a key investor was scheduled to dine with Baz, and while Baz hadn’t directly said it, Simon was to remain scarce throughout the night. At least he’d brought a few packets of paperwork that needed doing.

 The room he’d previously occupied here was locked, and a servant instead directed Simon to a room he knew Baz had occupied the last time they were here. The bed, while not as comfortable as the one back in London, welcomed Simon comfortably, and he laid down to rest for a few moments. As it often happened when Simon was left alone with his thoughts, they turned to Baz. The investor coming over tonight both invested in and bought the most wine from Baz. That was the only reason Simon had to be scarce tonight. Usually, Baz showboated him until Simon’s feet grew tired, but with the higherups, a previous street boy who did the paperwork usually set them on edge. How could they trust their money with a boy of no more than twenty-one who only knew basic economics and had not studied traditionally a day in his life?

 A soft knock at the door had Simon sitting up, and a servant walked in carrying a tray of supper. Simon then noticed the lighting had changed significantly and realized he had fallen asleep while thinking about wine investors. He thanked the servant and ate in silence, staring around the room. An ornate, golden clock stood in the corner, and Simon laughed quietly. A floor length mirror occupied another corner, and a dark wood wardrobe already filled with their clothing sat against the wall. Overall, it was a plain room in comparison to their normal lodgings, but Simon felt the hints of Baz in the room. The comforter was a deep, wine red, and the bedframe was made of cherry wood. Ornate carvings decorated the tops of the posters of the bed.

 The Surrey manor deserved to be a real home, Simon thought. He and Baz used it for maybe a month out of an entire year, and it sat empty for the rest of the time. About every two weeks, Baz would send a few servants to tidy the place, but other than that, these two weeks were the longest anyone lived here. Simon had to wonder if this had once been Baz’s childhood home. It was simply too large and too grand for it to be a getaway or a vacation home. The location was optimal, the plot of land was supreme, and the aura exuded warmth. This had to have been something to Baz. Otherwise, he’d have sold the property long before Simon came into the picture.

 A servant came to collect his plates, and Simon was once again left in silence. The bustle of London - people shouting, carts rolling by, factories churning - usually lulled Simon and comforted his always anxious mind. Now, there was only the occasional laugh from downstairs and the chirping of a bird here and there. The silence chilled him to the bone.

 Simon set to work on the stack of papers before him, deciding that the scratching of pen on paper would soothe his weary soul. The monotonous chore that was paperwork left Simon feeling purposeful. If Baz trusted him enough with finances, then he would do a damn good job at it. Of course, this was a far cry from what his father would have wanted.

 Simon’s mind often turned to his father these days. If Simon remembered the date correctly, his father’s birthday had just passed. They’d never celebrated when Simon lived with him; there was too much training and prepping to be done. At the end of the night, maybe his father would allow Simon to have a sip of port, but that had happened perhaps three times over the years. Celebrations just were not important when there were vampires to hunt and kill. His father had instilled the idea that vampires were virgin defilers into Simon’s mind, and while true for the situation between Baz and himself, Simon had come to realize that most vampires simply wanted to be left alone.

 His vampire just so happened to want the opposite of that. A hand at the back of his neck caused Simon to nearly spill his inkpot, and perhaps doing paperwork on the bed was stupid. Baz laughed as Simon carefully closed the inkpot, placed the wet paperwork on the bedside table, did away with the pen, and finally looked up.

 Baz’s tense face seemed alight when he looked down at Simon, and Simon smiled as he rose up on his knees. The mattress only added to their already obvious height difference. Simon came to rest at Baz’s shoulders, his knees sinking into the duvet. He did not mind, however, as it was the perfect height for him to place his hands atop Baz’s shoulders and rub. The muscles there seemed knotted with stress, and Simon sighed.

 “Are you ever not wound up like a clock?” Simon asked, dragging Baz onto the mattress. As tonight’s outfit included a three-piece suit, the act of stripping Baz took longer than Simon would have liked. Finally, pale skin exposed itself, and Simon kept his shudder at the sight of Baz’s back to himself. They had spoken of it once before: the scars had been from a brutal whipping exactly once in his childhood, but his vampire skin had not healed properly because of what he was whipped with. Now, scars littered the expanse of his broad shoulders, and Simon pressed chaste kisses to each. It was routine now.

 “You know how I hate clocks,” Baz replied. Simon laughed and pressed one last kiss to Baz’s back, lingering for only a few extra seconds. Luckily, someone had placed oil in the bedside table, and Simon slowly warmed it between his hands as he sat on Baz’s thighs. At the first press of Simon’s hands into Baz’s lower back, Baz let out a groan loud enough to shake the house.

 “How was supper?” Simon asked, working a knot in the lower of Baz’s back until it loosened. This was his absolute favorite (non-sexual) thing to do to Baz. It was another way of being useful, and Simon prided himself on the fact that only he could provide this relief to Baz.

 “Long,” Baz replied, groaning again at the pressure of Simon’s palms. “He wanted to withdraw his investment because of that fucking barrel of sherry.” Simon dug the heel of his palm into the middle of Baz’s back, and the crack that sounded through the room caused Baz to let out an orgasmic sound. “Fuck, I love it when you do that.”

 Simon’s face flushed, and he coughed as he continued rubbing circles into Baz’s back. The silence did not stretch on uncomfortably, but there was something in the air neither of them were able to address. “So, he wanted to leave because one of my fucking stupid warehouse managers dropped a barrel. I told him about the price for breaking a contract, and he still seemed to want to leave. Thank God for whiskey, because I think that’s what got him to stay.”

 As Simon lazily rubbed the excess oil into Baz’s skin, he found himself listening to Baz’s sherry problems and not even being bothered by how boring they were. He logically knew that if someone else was telling him about the trials and tribulations of shipping sherry, he’d fall asleep, and the realization made his stomach lurch. He knew what this was, and Baz knew, too. When would one of them say it, though?

  …

  They had fought before. Once, Simon had forgotten to do a few pieces of paperwork that nearly cost Baz a key investor, and they had dished it out for a good half-hour before both going out for some time to decompress. Simon apologized, and Baz did, too. Simon had been tired during that round of paperwork; Baz had been stressed all day before finding out about Simon’s mistake.

 But this was different. This wasn’t about paperwork or investors or wine. This was about Simon and Baz. This was about feelings, and Simon sucked at feelings. He’d inherited it from his father. Being raised to be a vampire slayer could do that.

 This was also, coincidentally, about vampires.

 “You lied to me!” Simon shouted, hastily packing his belongings into a trunk. Granted, there were not many things to be gathered. It was more for show than anything else. “I’ve lived with you for nearly two years, and you’ve lied to me the entire time!”

 Baz stood in front of the fireplace, jaw clenched and hands balled into fists. He was strangely composed for such an explosive conversation. Simon wanted to throw something at him, punch him, make him respond, make him yell. It wasn’t fair that he was the only person angry. This wasn’t going to be a one-sided argument.

 “Do you have anything to say to me?” Simon demanded, finally stopping his movements and just…standing there. His shoulders slumped. There were tears in his eyes.

 Baz turned slowly on his heels. Finally, Simon saw his face. It gave away nothing; Baz was always stoic during moments of high tensions. When Simon had nearly died those first few weeks, Baz’s face had remained a blank sheet. When his…sister? ...had died in childbirth and the letter had been delivered, Baz had said nothing and simply locked himself away. Now, though, there was no room to separate the two of them. There was no veil of death that cleaved them apart. There was only three meters of wooden floor and carpet.

 Baz closed his eyes, and Simon watched as a few tears slipped down his cheeks. “You lied to me, too, Simon,” Baz finally murmured. The orange light of the fire made him look like a statue on fire. His eyes seemed to be ablaze, though that could be literal given the circumstances of his humanity. “I’ve lived with someone raised to be my murderer for nearly two years. How do you think I feel?”

 Honestly, Simon had not thought of it that way. However, the part of his brain that his father had trained screamed at Simon that Baz killed innocents to live and that he was probably more than a few lifetimes older than Simon. It unfortunately cast everything into a clearer light: why Baz did not eat in front of Simon, why he left for days at a time on ‘trips’, why he had so much property and no living family.

 “Have you killed people, Baz?” Simon asked. He desperately wanted to leave the house and never turn back. He should have listened to his gut. It had screamed at him for over a year that Baz was not human. Simon should have taken his father’s lessons to heart. He could be dead now. It was only a miracle that Baz had spared him.

 “How dare you!” Baz snarled stomping away from the fireplace. Finally, Simon thought. Finally, this anger could be mutual. He stopped just a foot short of Simon, hand pointing directly at Simon’s face. “You don’t know shit, Simon Snow! How dare you say that! How dare you!” Up close, Simon saw more tears gather in Baz’s eyes. “Are you asking yourself why I haven’t killed you yet?”

 “Fuck you!” Simon retorted, pushing Baz’s hand out of his face. “You’re a fucking liar, Baz Pitch!” Simon didn’t know why he was crying so suddenly. Well, he did know why. He’d just thought that Baz would be honest with him concerning everything, and this felt like a betrayal of the deepest kind. “You…you lied to me!”

 Simon covered his face with his hands, feeling the dampness soak the sleeves of his shirt. Damnit, he thought. Why couldn’t he keep it together for ten minutes?

 His hands were pulled away from his face, and before Simon could curse Baz for it, cold lips were pressed against his own. He vaguely understood that this was a kiss. Simon had never kissed anyone before. Training to kill vampires ruined any chance of his social life. Baz’s hands, still holding his wrists, slowly travelled down to Simon’s waist, holding him steady as he pulled back.

 Simon was still crying, though no choked noises were escaping his lips anymore. “I don’t understand,” he whispered, because he really didn’t. Simon was not a product of fine breeding. He did not have status or wealth. He was human. He was male. But Baz’s lips on his own had felt realer than anything else in his life prior had ever felt. Simon rested his hands on Baz’s biceps, feeling the warmth leave his fingertips. “I don’t understand,” he repeated, looking up at Baz through clumped lashes and tears.

 In response, Baz smiled down at him softly. There was no malice, and while Simon did see canines, he was not afraid. “Do you really believe I would have kept you here if I did not care for you?” Baz asked, running a soothing hand through Simon’s hair. “Even just a little bit?”

 Simon burrowed into the space where Baz’s shoulder met his neck and hiccupped, feeling fresh tears spill down his cheek. Baz’s hand stalled in Simon’s hair, and he hastily began to apologize, which made Simon cry heavier.

 Hours later, with the candles extinguished and the anger from the day gone, Simon realized Baz had never truly answered any of his questions.

#snowbaz #simon snow #baz pitch #rainbow rowell #carry on #carry on big bang 2020 #regency era #fanfic #love confessions #vampire!baz #vampire hunter!simon #mordelia grimm #simon works for baz #wine merchant!baz #enjoy!

[starlessskies94]

Consequence (Joel Miller x OC)

Summary: What if Joel survived his injuries from the Abby and Fireflies attack but ends up with really bad amnesia. He can’t remember his wife, Ellie, or the Outbreak; only before. How will his family bring back the man they once knew?

Pairing: Joel Miller x OC

Note: Sorry I'm a little late posting an update. After so much sadness, why don't we take a break? We need some cute happy moments...my babies are too sad. :( Here's a flashback that is well needed right now. I hope you enjoy it <3

Chapter Six

The sun had long since set, the night unusually calm and still after a morning spent travelling and walking through the Wyoming Museum that Joel had surprised the girls with for Ellie’s birthday.

It had been fun and Ada had enjoyed every second of it. That was until they’d been separated and Ellie had seen the dead Firefly and his messages of hate and anger towards the group after they’d been forced to disband.

Ada had always wondered what would become of them after Marlene’s death, she supposed now she had her answer.

They’d set up their tents for the night with a roaring campfire burning away in between them as the horses grazed contently not too far away. The older woman sat a small distance from the campsite by the water’s edge of the deep pool flooded into the forest beds. Brown eyes stare into the lazy river flowing through the fallen rocks and dead trees, filtering through the cracks into a string of waterfalls that beautifully reflected in the soft moonlight above.

She watches the water move, her mind completely quiet and undisturbed. It’s strange even now to still have quiet moments like this. She’s so used to running for her life, constantly vigilant for the sounds of nearby infected or potential threats that sometimes find their way through. But now she can relax, she can breathe and it’s glorious. There’s just that tiny nag in the corner of her mind. It tugs gently until she can no longer ignore it. She glances back to the tents, towards the young girl that is currently occupying her mind. Ellie sits quietly by the entrance of her tent, headphones in her ears, comic book on her lap as she idly flips through the pages. While Joel tends to the fire, poking and prodding here and there to keep it burning long enough for their supper to be cooked. She’d made sure to pack enough for the whole journey but Ellie had  chosen to catch a few fish for tonight’s meal, what with it being her birthday and all. And as the teen was quick to remind both her and Joel…repeatedly...

My birthday, my rules.

It was the first time she’d seen it in Ellie’s eyes but it had definitely been there and it terrified her. That doubt. For so long Ellie had taken Joel and Ada’s words as fact, she had never brought up the Fireflies or what had happened in the hospital after they’d left so quickly. After all, what reason would they have to lie?

Ada felt her chest tighten at the thought. What would she say if the girl started asking questions? What would Joel say? For the first time in over a year, she was starting to feel guilty for hiding the truth of what really happened. Maybe Ellie deserved to know, maybe they never should have lied in the first place.

But as she glanced back across at her daughter, the fear went away. She was a mother and it was her duty to protect her child. No matter how old she was. And while she may not have been Ellie’s biological mom, she was every bit a mother to the girl whether they were related by blood or not. She'd raised Ellie from being a few days old after her mother had passed. And she had done the best she could with what she had.

She’s was so lost in her own barrelling train of thoughts, that she doesn’t hear Joel approaching until he sat beside her.

“Hey you doing alright over here?” He asks.

“Yeah I’m fine.” She lies and Joel instantly knows that something is wrong, the concern evident on his face as he leans closer towards her.

“No you’re not. You're worrying.” He says gently. “It's Ellie ain’t it? You saw it too.”

She doesn’t even have to question what he’s talking about. They both saw the look on Ellie’s face when they forced their way into the abandoned building and found the girl stood alone in the dark, her light illuminating the Firefly sign and the dark letters painted below.

‘Liars’

In a way it felt as if the very message was speaking directly to them. For what else could they call themselves for the stories they had spun, for the protection of a girl that they both wanted to save? That they both loved.

Ada said nothing as she moved to rest her head on Joel’s shoulder, the man sighing deeply, lifting his arm to wrap around her waist, his own head then rested upon hers. They held each other close as they’d done so many times before, staring out at the glistering water before them. The soft lapping of the water danced by the edge with the breeze of the night’s air, carrying with it the melody of chirping crickets in the long grass under foot.

“What are we gonna do?” The brunette whispers into the silence settled between them.

“With how things are going; I say we do nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“She ain’t asked about it, reckon there’s no reason to go pulling at strings until it’s time.” Joel reasoned. And he was right, Ellie was happy. She was making friends back in Jackson, learning new skills and discovering new talents. It wasn’t until Tommy had gifted her with a journal for her birthday that she actually discovered she was a pretty damn good artist. She had a bed to sleep in every night, a family to come home to, just like she’d always wanted. It was the closest thing Joel and Ada could remember from before; that somewhat resembled a normal life.

They had structure, a reason to get up in the morning. And it felt good. Eventually they moved from the water. Walking hand in hand towards the fire and sitting together, while Ellie continued quietly in her own little bubble, reading her comic book.

They glanced at one another and in that instant that their eyes met, it was decided they would keep their secret for a little longer. Ellie was happy and that was what mattered to them. Nothing more needed to be discussed.

Joel moved to tend to the burning fire, checking over the fish as it cooked above the flames. Though Ada had to quickly take over when the man sent her a lost look at the state of the food. The older man was talented at a lot of things throughout his twenty years of survival but it was obvious that cooking was not one of them. A trait that Ada found rather endearing about him. To meet this confident, strong and stoic man; only to then find out that he struggled to cook a simple can of soup without somehow managing to burn it to the bottom of the pan.

Although it was considered rather old-fashioned, Ada still enjoyed looking after Joel. After everything he had done for her and Ellie, something as simple as cooking him a decent meal made her feel like she was giving something back. She’d tried teaching him in the early days they’d arrived in Jackson but it seemed it was a skill Joel just couldn’t pick up, no matter how often she attempted it. It was a small thing but it made her feel better knowing that; even if she couldn’t control anything regarding Joel’s safety when he left on patrols, at least he wasn’t going out with an empty stomach.

With the food done Ada quickly served the meal, splitting the fresh fish between herself, Joel and Ellie. Who, as a typical teenager, said nothing as she took the plate from her mother and disappeared back into her tent, comic book under her arm and headphones still blasting in her ears. The older woman merely smiled, taking her seat back at Joel’s side as the two ate in a comfortable silence.

When they’d finished Joel had offered to wash up, a credit to his Texas manners as he moved towards the stream to fetch water. He heated it through after grabbing a rag from his backpack and once again found his place at Ada’s side.

She watched him as he worked, a smile tugging at her lips. It had been almost two years since she’d met this man and she still wasn’t quite sure what she’d done to deserve him.

If she was honest she had never loved anyone the way she loved Joel. It was almost laughable how irritating they once found each other when they'd first met. Constantly arguing over plans, ideas and routes to take to get to their destination. She’d wanted so badly to get rid of this gloomy grump, confident in her own abilities that she could find her way with Ellie on her own. And yet now she couldn’t even fathom the idea of living without him.

“Hey.” She called gently, grabbing Joel’s attention as he glanced her way. “ I wanted to thank you, for all this. Everything you’ve done for Ellie. I think this is without a doubt the best birthday she’s ever had. Back in Boston I could never really do a lot for her. Couldn’t even get her a decent present with those damn ration cards.”

“You don’t gonna thank me Ada, reckon this was good for all of us.” He said, wringing out the rag as he finished the washing up, then hanging it dry. Ada shuffled on her behind, grabbing her legs to cross them underneath her and leaned back on her arms to gaze up at him.

“Yes I do, you didn’t have to do this. And that tape you found her...I mean she loves it Joel.” He smiled at her words, his eyes moving to find Ellie still sat alone with her Walkman.

“You do realise she’ll be listening to that on repeat for months right?” She laughed with him. His face lit up with joy, it was the same feeling he’d felt when he gave her the gift in the first place. The pure wonder and glee when she played it. He looked back to Ada and his heart leaped in his chest when he saw the love in her eyes.

“Well...you know, speaking of presents, I do actually have something else.” He teased with a mischievous grin widening across his face. He kneeled down beside the woman, rummaging through his bag then pulled out a small vinyl cover. Ada’s mouth agape in surprise as she took the album from Joel, a small gasp leaving her, her smile hid behind the hand that rested on her chin.

“Joel...I...how did you…” She uttered, completely at a loss for words. It was a Fleetwood Mac album, one of her favourites in fact. The man beside her lowered himself back down, his hazel eyes level with hers.

“You said they were your favourite growing up, cause of your mom and I found a music store before we left Jackson so I figured...you know…” He explained and Ada was touched by how considerate he was. How sweet. She’d told him the story of her mother listening to the band throughout her childhood and teen years, when they’d first started to soften to one another while travelling through Pittsburgh. But that had been months ago and yet he had remembered every detail. A fact that Ada was quick to point out to him, but he just smiled and shrugged.

“I guess I do listen more than you think.” He simply said. And damn if Ada didn’t fall in love with this man all over again.

“I love it, thank you.”

“You’re welcome darlin’.”

She still hadn’t said the actual words to him yet. Which, when she thought about it seemed so ridiculous. She put the album to the side, unfold her legs and tackled the man in a hug. A reaction Joel clearly hadn’t been expecting as the force of it left them both in a tangled mess on the forest floor. Ada landing on top of him, as he let out a muffled grunt as he met the ground with his back. His arms wrapping around her middle and holding her in place, while hers found themselves round his neck, her fingers brushing through his hair.

“I love you.” She said breathlessly, her eyes never leaving his. She saw his throat quiver as he swallowed hard, his face softened as his calloused fingers caressed against her face. A gentle touch but one that still made her feel warm and giddy. He brushed her hair from her eyes, sweeping the brown locks behind her ear and smiled lovingly.

“I love you too.” He replied. The words said for the first time between them. He moved forward to kiss her, eyes sliding close, noses touching as they leaned closer.

“Oh come on guys!! Seriously?! Fucking gross!” Ellie bellowed, instantly killing the mood as Joel groaned letting his head fall back against the floor, his arms releasing Ada as she quickly scuffled from him and back to her feet. Hand reaching out to help Joel up.

Both adults stepped away from the other, attempting to put the distance between them as Ellie stared them down with a raised eyebrow.

“And on my fucking birthday, what are you trying to scar me for life or something?” She joked. But Ada and Joel were far too embarrassed to see the funny side. The girl continued with a deep chuckle, her tongue sticking out as she gagged and pulled faces at the whole thing.

“Oh man that image is gonna be stuck in my brain forever!” She groaned. “Get out! Get out” She whined tapping her head with her small fist as she squeezed her eyes closed. Turning on her heel and retreating back towards her tent.

Joel awkwardly cleared his throat when the girl had gone, looking anywhere and everywhere except towards Ada. The woman doing the same, her stomach fluttering and cheeks hot from endless blushing.

“Well that was uhhh...unexpected.” The man mumbled. Ada just laughed as she felt the tension melt away between them as Ellie shouted at the two to go to bed and jokingly threatened to ground them if they didn’t behave. Joel just shook his head at the girl and smiled at his love as they called it a night and headed towards their tent. Ellie watched them go and readied herself for first watch, taking the risk to glance through the tent door and seeing Joel and Ada had already fallen asleep. She'd never tell them but it was actually kinda cute when they cuddled up to each other. She was glad they were happy. It was nice.

Yeah  Ellie thought to herself as she settled in for the night.

Best. Birthday. Ever.

#Joel Miller #joel the last of us #joel and ellie #joel miller x oc #the last of us part 2 #the last of us #Ellie Williams #fanfiction #starlesskies writes

[thecoleopterawithana]

Hello, I'm the last anon you answered to. I'm sorry if I came out as defensive because it wasn't my intention. In fact I've always thought that John was bisexual until I started questioning everything. ( I'm a bisexual guy myself and I'm perfectly happy with the way I am ! ) It's just that I feel like Yoko would just say whatever she wants on John to suit her agenda. John's sexuality had always been an interesting topic and dropping something like that would gaib her publicity this is why I --

I question the authenticity of her claims. She could have lied about it just to attract attention… And I’d be disappointed because John was in fact my idol and he gave me the strength to come out as bi to my family. But there’s so many anecdotes about him being homophobic that it just makes me sad and this is why I hardly doubt that he was a bisexual man…As for the Cynthia quote I heard her say something like “ John was afraid of homosexuality just like everyone ) in a video on Youtube –

I am very conflicted because I’ve watched videos of John ( interviews etc ) and many comments said that he was very skilled at manipulating people and wasn’t as honest as he appeared to be, which is why I doubt. John had always been the rebellious type and I started thinking that he was using the bisexuality topic to shock and make people talk about it which is disappointing. Was he dropping hints that he was bi to piss off people and make publicity ? This is what I believe : (There is also -

Something he said to Alaister Taylor where he said that he was trying to spread the rumor that he was gay or bi just for fun and he told him that he would never shag a man because just the thought of it turned him off… Yet he also told him that he adored Brian so much that he would have done anything with him ( he contradict himself here. ) So yeah I didn’t want to be rude. I apologize. I think I need reassurance. Could you please analyse everything I said if u don’t mind please ? : (

-

Anon 2

At the very least all these years later isn’t it circumstantially suggested that John had very private gay encounters, and was uncomfortable making them public, yet wanted to hint at them so he could deal with this matter int he future? He was protecting his privacy and his ego, and perhaps wasn’t yet ready to reveal either his encounters or mixed feelings of bisexuality. His encounters have been protected by those with whom he was involved, people thameant a lot to him, no?

-

Anon 3

hey! by any chance, do you have knowledge of the quotes where john said “sex with girls felt like a performance after the first time” and “i was never sexually attracted to women before yoko”? i am SURE i’ve seen the first one somewhere on tumblr, though the second one is more of a quote of a quote so i’m not sure if it’s real or not dfkdjk thanks, anyway!

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Anon 4

Hello! Is it true that John used to be very attracted to the drag scene in St Pauli ( I guess that was the town I read about ) and that basically the drag / gay scene made him feel comfortable and at home? Says a lot about him!

-

@tbhmarjj

I adore you, thank u for this blog and ur beautiful mind. i doubt johns bisexuality at times tbh considering he went to great lengths for publicity and he wanted to be an LGBT ally, be cool and outspoken and as he himself said it was trendy to be bi. but then again he was obsessed with Paul in so many ways and he was the embodiment of John’s ideal man. beautiful, talented, intellectual. I’ll be patiently awaiting ur posts exploring Paul’s views on johns sexuality.Thank u

-

Hello again, anon! 

I want to begin by thanking you for getting back to me after I answered your ask and for clarifying where you were coming from when you wrote it. It really is quite hard to fully get the tone of a written message, especially one that is so short that you have no context to draw from to get the emotional meaning behind it. It really appeared to me when I read it that the concern was not who was saying it (Yoko) but about what was being said (John was bisexual). I can now see that was not the case and I appreciate that you’ve made that clear. 

I also hope you don’t mind, but I’ve taken the opportunity to include in this answer all of the other asks I’ve been receiving regarding John’s sexuality. It’s clearly a topic of great interest in this community. So I’ll be attempting to address all the points raised here. Again, this is nothing definitive; only my personal readings of the situation as I find it at the moment.

Before I do answer, though, I’d just like everyone to take a deep breath and a step back. Let’s try to examine this topic a bit more objectively. 

I understand that sex is kind of major in our society. Our notion of identity is tightly bound to our classified sexuality and gender. Sexual relationships (or amorous relationships) are seen as the epitome of human connection and the ideal everyone should be striving for. And people fundamentally want to be loved and not alone, so it makes sense that figuring out who is a potential companion (and if that companion is interested back) is such a big deal.

But despite these layers of meaning and societal pressures, we should keep in mind what sex represents, essentially, from an evolutionary point of view. 

For social animals who derive pleasure from sexual stimulation, sexual intercourse is – like all the other kinds of affection – a way to build connections. 

If you want to find examples in nature, just look at our ape cousins, the bonobos. The also called pygmy chimpanzee lives in a matriarchal society where sexual behaviour plays an essential role in strengthening social bonds, lowering tension and keeping the peace. Bonobos don’t discriminate between gender or age (except between mothers copulating with their own adult sons, so as to prevent cross-breeding). It’s the true “free love” society; evolution took “make love, not war” and ran with it. 

Our own culture seems more similar to that of bonobos’ northern neighbours, the common chimp. Their patriarchy is more conservative regarding sexual intercourse, which is mainly used for reproduction purposes, and their power structure is based around intricate political games, where males form alliances and try to get public support in order to overthrow the ruling party.

I find it endlessly curious to look at these two species, whose physical separation by the Congo river made them diverge so starkly in their social organization, and compare them to the struggle between these same two natures that we find in our own society. 

All this to say that, from a simply biological point of view, I have to agree with John and Yoko when they say that everyone must be bisexual. If sexual intercourse as a social behaviour is, inherently, all about establishing bonds and connections, the extent to which those connections are “allowed” to be built depends entirely on the hierarchal structure that same society is trying to preserve. In other words, what is classified as morally right or wrong is more reflective of the rules in place to keep that society working as it is, than it is of what is naturally present as a drive. 

If your brain is primed to seek pleasure and sexual intercourse brings you pleasure independently of the partner’s gender, then the partner’s gender should be inconsequential.

But unlike bonobos, humans are kind of touchy about touching. So there are other levels of information influencing behaviour. The processes of socialization – of internalizing the norms and ideologies of society – and enculturation – by which people learn the dynamics of their surrounding culture and acquire values and norms appropriate or necessary in that culture and worldviews – are as determinant as the genetic factors influencing behaviour. In fact, this added education can be so effective in curbing your “primal instincts”, that one might forget they have them in the first place. 

Thus, the concepts of gender identity and sexual orientation are a constantly shifting construct based on the various interactions between your genetic makeup and social influences. 

I just think that, in order to have this discussion, it’s important to separate the various levels of it and be clear about which we are referring to.

There is the basic evolutionary drive to seek pleasure and form connections.

There is the social education about that same drive and how it is allowed to manifest itself.

And integrating all these different signals and information – various potentials which manifested as attraction – there finally is a behaviour, a choice.

And finally, there’s the external point of view of other members of society looking in and trying to discern other people’s drives and how they relate to their choices (that’s us now). The problem is, we often throw our own drives and choices into the mix, especially with regards to something as personally defining as sexual orientation. 

So we have to make very clear in our minds what is the end goal here. Why are we interested in discussing this topic? Are we looking to discern as much of the truth as we can get it, objectively trying to understand these human beings? Or are we trying to confirm our own projections on them? And please, don’t take me wrong. All these are valid reasons to be interested in a subject. Often how it resonates with us, so personally, is vitally important to reaching a greater understanding about ourselves and learning how to communicate that to others. 

But in the same way a piece of music can make you have a transformative emotional experience that the artist didn’t necessarily go through, it’s important to remember that our own inner-life might be affecting how we examine others. Better be mindful of what we project, lest we think are finally seeing inside another person when in fact we are only looking at our own reflection. (And honestly, I believe getting to truly know ourselves in this processes can be a hundred times more valuable than knowing the other. By learning to recognize ourselves we can better understand other people and vice-versa.) 

So if it is important to you that John is bisexual, my honest opinion is that all the information can be read in a way that confirms it. We’ll hardly ever know for sure, and based on what we do know, that can certainly be the takeaway. 

But if we want to objectively examine John’s sexuality, we shouldn’t bring in a confirmation bias. Meaning that we should be emotionally detached from the outcome, as long as it is as close to the truth as we can get. But this is only where I’m coming from, and I’m a bit of a scientist. It’s totally fair if you’re not in it for the same reasons. Though again, working under the assumption that you want to know my stance on it, let’s proceed.

I understand your reservations regarding Yoko as an unreliable narrator. To analyse Yoko’s motivations would be an interesting topic, but one which I will not go in at the moment as I don’t feel sufficiently informed about Yoko as a person to give an extensive examination.  

But in my opinion, there is a whole lot of other information available from which to draw from other than Yoko’s statements. 

I also get your and @tbhmarjj‘s concerns about John’s declarations during the 70s. But it’s the same question I posed in the previous post: Was the “bisexual chic” fad of the 1970s merely a publicity stunt for those involved? Even if it was, did it make the experimentations undertaken any less true? Were they just faking it for the press or were they finally allowed to try and be open about it? 

Because I come from the biological background that places sex as a positive social interaction like any other, meaning that its purpose is to create bonds and the pleasure is our “reward” for doing it, I tend to believe that the behaviours were genuine. The drive there is real. As real as the internal constraints that would act on them as a result of societies shifting expectations and permissions. And this socialization is as determinant in the creation of sexual attraction as anything. So based on our definition of sexual orientation, all those bi rockstars of the 70s could have effectively stopped identifying as bi once the new social norm overrun their own internal drives and the previous less conservative status quo. That didn’t make them less bi when they were. 

It’s funny, but in terms of gender and sexuality, nothing is real so everything is. 

So yeah, I think that John could have been bisexual the second he felt he was. But because the social tide was likely to shift, it was better to also maintain a measure of deniability: it was just for show, it’s not serious, I was just taking the mickey out of you and you fell for it! Of course John was smart enough to leave space there to retract. He and Paul had mastered the art as communicators through song. They could claim them to mean everything and nothing as it suited them. As Anon 2 says, it’s a protective measure. 

So I think that at some point in time, John genuinely identified as bisexual. Now whether he acted on it or not is another questioned entirely. As Anon 2 points out, there are various circumstantial accounts, but these are always tougher to verify. 

I tend to believe Yoko when she says:

So did Lennon ever have sex with men?

“No, I don’t think so,” says Ono. “The beginning of the year he was killed, he said to me, ‘I could have done it, but I can’t because I just never found somebody that was that attractive.’ Both John and I were into attractiveness—you know—beauty.”

I ask what she makes of the people outside the building, the crowds still at Strawberry Fields.

Ono misunderstands, or mishears (or is simply focused on the last strand of our conversation), and continues to talk about sex.

“I don’t make anything out of it. When you’re not really interested in that sort of sex, you don’t think about it. Both John and I surprisingly were very passive people. Unless somebody made a thing out of it, if they made a move, I wouldn’t even think about it.”

— in Yoko Ono: I Still Fear John’s Killer by Tim Teeman for the Daily Beast (13 October 2015).

At least I believe he at least never “fully” did it, in the sense of full-blown anal sex. I think there might have been “milder” homosexual interactions, such as handjobs, that could be rationalized as not entirely gay (the thing with Brian in Spain being one of them.)

Regarding the drag scene in Hamburg Anon 4 was asking about, I agree that it also provides information about John. Though I think it’s mainly about his gender identity rather than his sexual orientation (though the two are invariably linked in the construct as well).

Here are some quotes about it:

With his four months’ greater experience, Sheridan was an ideal guide to the Reeperbahn’s more exotic diversions, like the Schwülen laden. Stu Sutcliffe later wrote home in amazement that the transvestites were ‘all harmless and very young’ and it was actually possible to speak to one ‘without shuddering’. Though raised amid the same homophobia as his companions, John seemed totally unshocked by St Pauli’s abundant drag scene; indeed, he often seemed actively to seek it out. ‘There was one particular club he used to like,’ Tony Sheridan remembers, ‘full of these big guys with hairy hands, deep voices—and breasts. But they used to make an effort to talk English. There was something about the place that seemed to make John feel at home.’

— In John Lennon: The Life by Philip Norman (2008).

And according to Horst Fascher (bouncer at the Indra Club and the Kaiserkeller):

It wasn’t just girls that were on offer to young english rockers. Monica’s Bar was Hamburg’s notorious transvestite club. For one or two English musicians, Monica’s was just another part of the Hamburg experience.

HORST FASCHER: One night Monica said, “Come, come and look. One of your boys is in the séparé.” “And who is it?” And she said, “One of the Beatles.” “Let me look”. She said, “Be careful. Look only sneaky-like.” But I did. I grabbed the curtain, pulled it aside and there was sitting John in… in a position with that girl, and you know. He felt really ashamed and I said, “John, don’t worry man. I did that all before.”

— In The Beatles Biggest Secrets. [Transcription is my own and I’m not too certain of it.]

Though there certainly might have been an aspect of sexual interest to it, I think John’s fascination with the drag scene was also the kinship with the queerness he felt inside himself; mainly in regards to him wanting to express his more sensitive side, which is coded as feminine in our society. So I think seeing men indulging in femininity and nonnormative behaviour resonated with him.

Also, I think it’s even more important to understand John’s relationship with sex in general, regardless of the partner. 

To that end, the quote mentioned by Anon 3 is of special relevance:

When I was a kid, I wanted to shag every attractive woman I saw. I used to dream that it would be great if you could just click your fingers and they would strip off and be ready for me. I would spend most of my teenager years fantasising about having this kind of power over women. The weird thing is, when the fantasies came true they were not nearly so much fun. One of my most frequent dreams was seducing two girls together, or even a mother and a daughter. That happened in Hamburg a couple of times and the first time it was sensational. The second time it got to feel like I was giving a performance. You know how when you make love to a woman that the moment you come, you get a buzz of relief and just for a moment you don’t need anyone or anything. The more women I had, the more the buzz would turn into a horrible feeling of rejection and revulsion at what I’d been doing. As soon as I’d been with a woman, I wanted to get the hell out.

— John Lennon to Alistair Taylor (Brian Epstein’s assistant), 1965. In his autobiography With the Beatles: A Stunning Insight by The Man who was with the Band Every Step of the Way (2003).

And another important passage is in reference to Janov’s Primal Scream Therapy:

Well, his thing is to feel the pain that’s accumulated inside you ever since your childhood. […] The worst pain is that of not being wanted, of realising your parents do not need you in the way you need them. When I was a child I experienced moments of not wanting to see the ugliness, not wanting to see not being wanted. This lack of love went into my eyes and into my mind. […] Most people channel their pain into God or masturbation or some dream of making it. […] But for me at any rate it was all part of dissolving the Godtrip or father-figure trip. Facing up to reality instead of always looking for some kind of heaven.

— John Lennon, interviewed by Robin Blackburn and Tariq Ali for Red Mole (8-22 March 1971). [I really can’t stop pointing to this quote as one of the most important in order to understand John Lennon.]

As he reiterates in ‘I Found Out’ (1970): Some of you sitting there with yer cock in yer hand / Don’t get you nowhere don’t make you a man

To me, John’s pursuit of sex is, like most things in his life, essentially about filling this black-hole of emotional pain. He internalized the lack of love from his parents, which went into his eyes and mind, until he himself believed he was unlovable. This lack of self-esteem translates into a lot of pain and the need for an external solution for that pain. 

The external solution is not wanting to feel so vulnerable any more. This can be achieved either by trying to seize control, by exerting it over others or having them look up to you (e.g. “fantasising about having this kind of power over women”; “some dream of making it”). Or it can be achieved by handing control over and being taken care of (e.g. “people channel their pain into God”, “I’ve seen religion from Jesus to Paul”.)

Sex as an activity can play into these various dynamics: it can be used to feel power over others, as John started out; it can be used as an escapist distraction, like a drug (e.g. “you get a buzz of relief and just for a moment you don’t need anyone or anything”); and it can be used as giving yourself over and being loved, looking to receive that which you can’t get from yourself. 

As time passed and the first two solutions stopped working, I think John focused on the third: sex in the context of an emotionally close relationship as the ultimate intimacy and proof that he was loved. And because he wanted to absolve himself of responsibility, to be taken care of, his partner needed to be someone on the other end, someone who had control. In our culture, this reads as a masculine figure (e.g. “father-figure trip”). 

This may be from a female, whose masculine qualities were what attracted John in the first place:

In this intense, intimate and revealing original cassette recording of a private conversation in 1969 between John Lennon and Yoko Ono, the couple speaks primarily about Yoko’s past relationships, her music and art, and their random views on sex, love, promiscuity, and homosexuality. […] [Lennon] adds that he had never met an attractive woman that had sexually aroused him to any great degree.

— Description of the 45-minute audiotape auctioned in 2009 by Alexander Autographs.

I used to say to him, ‘I think you’re a closet fag, you know.’ Because after we started to live together, John would say to me, ‘Do you know why I like you? Because you look like a bloke in drag. You’re like a mate.’

— Yoko Ono, interviewed for New York Magazine (25 May 1981).

Or the partner he was looking for could be found in the (often dominant) person he was most emotionally invested in his whole life. 

All I want is you / Everything has got to be just like you want it to

And in a society that establishes that the closest two people can be, the greatest intimacy they can share, the ultimate declaration of love is to live in a monogamous amorous relationship, is it any wonder that John felt he could only believe in their relationship if they were together like that? Is it any wonder that he would doubt Paul’s affections because Paul apparently wasn’t willing to express them like that? 

JOHN: It’s a plus, it’s not a minus. The plus is that your best friend, also, can hold you without… I mean, I’m not a homosexual, or we could have had a homosexual relationship and maybe that would have satisfied it, with working with other male artists. [faltering] An artist – it’s more – it’s much better to be working with another artist of the same energy, and that’s why there’s always been Beatles or Marx Brothers or men, together. Because it’s alright for them to work together or whatever it is. It’s the same except that we sleep together, you know? I mean, not counting love and all the things on the side, just as a working relationship with her, it has all the benefits of working with another male artist and all the joint inspiration, and then we can hold hands too, right?

SHEVEY: But Yoko is a very independent person. Isn’t it— [inaudible]

JOHN: Sure, and so were the men I worked with. The only difference is she’s female.

SHEVEY: But you didn’t find it difficult to make that transition?

JOHN: Oh yeah. I mean, it took me four years. I’m still not – I’m still only coming through it, you know.

— Interview with Sandra Shevey (June 1972).

I know I keep posting this quote, but I don’t think he can make it more obvious than that: it’s not about the sex. Or rather, the sex is not the primary thing. 

He didn’t push all those years because he was uncontrollably horny for Paul. John just wants a physical manifestation, a more tangible “proof”, of his emotional connections. He wants to be able to hold hands, be held and perhaps also have sex with his best friend; he needs those proofs of love through the means of physical affection because he won’t believe Paul’s love for him is there otherwise (or that it’s as great as John’s).

Would society normalizing other kinds of relationships – such as friendships – to be as important or on the same level as amorous (romantic/sexual) ones, have helped John and Paul? Most likely. 

Would society normalizing same-sex amorous relationships have helped John and Paul? Perhaps. (For this one we would have to look more closely at Paul’s needs and desires.)

All this to say that John’s idea of sexuality was extremely influenced by society, and in his case, the rule “amorous relationships are the normative ones” outweighed the “heterosexual relationships are the normative ones”. 

The conflict occurred when from Paul’s perspective, the priority of the rules was the other way around. I think Paul was ready to ignore society’s norm and live his life with his friendship with John as the most important relationship. But he also wanted a heterosexual one. (But more on that on a post of its own.)

For now, I hope I have more or less managed to express my thoughts on the matter of John’s sexuality. 

Thank you so much for reading through all that and for reaching out in the first place! I truly appreciate it!

#John Lennon #paul mccartney #yoko ono #the beatles #asks me why #I'm not a homosexual or we could have had a homosexual relationship #he could be a real soft sweetie #paul is a concept by which we measure our pain #touching is good #and when i touch you i feel happy inside #the person I actually picked as my partner #johnny #macca #alistair taylor #Brian Epstein #Tony Sheridan #Horst Fascher #meta #my stuff

[jd-loves-everyone]

Who are these 9 boys?

Kim Woojin: The 3rd year, chicken enthusiast with an angelic voice and an adorable smile.We met when we got paired up for a school trip. I was so nervous about being next to a 3rd year (that I didn’t know) that I barely looked at him for at least the first 30 minutes of the trip. His age plus his broad shoulders and tall stature, only served to intimidate me more. Oh, how wrong I was to think he’d be any bit intimidating.

In truth, his body type only added to his personality in a way that made him resemble a giant, cuddly, teddy bear.

He was gentle and polite as he tried to get me to come out of my tightly sealed shell, with lame jokes and the cutest laugh.

We even shared my earphones, which was how I found out about his utterly divine voice. After complimenting him, he blushed a pretty pink, and asked about my own hobbies and talents. After much prying, he was able to figure out that I also loved singing, but had little to no confidence at all in my own voice (especially after hearing his).

So by the end of the trip, he promised to help me show my voice to the world. And he’s unknowingly succeeded, considering that when we’re alone, he’s my whole world.

Bang Chan: The 3rd year, Student Council President and an aspiring artist, who was too afraid to take a step in the direction of his dreams, so he is now stuck in a path that he doesn’t want to follow.

He is also my neighbor, who gives me a ride to and from school everyday, I’ve learned a lot about him during these rides (and I can only guess, that so has he), like the fact he has a puppy (from the dog hair in his backseat) and that he writes music (really good music). He’s seen all of me: he’s heard me sing more than once (sorry Woojin) and I’ve even broken down in his car (and he held me through it).

I’ve already followed his advice many times, so I hope he follows mine, just once, and goes after his dreams.

Lee Minho: My first crush and the one who made me fall in love with dancing (and him too, in the process). No wonder he’s the captain of the school’s dance club. He’s just mesmerizing to watch.

Despite his very flirty nature, he’s not a player, just very friendly (maybe too friendly). And in spite of this, he still likes to fiercely declare that cats are better than people (especially his 3 cats: Dori, Soon-ie and Doong-ie). The reason why his contact name on my phone is “Crazy Cat Minho”.

Considering that when we first met (at 12 years old) we only spoke briefly, I didn’t expect him to remember me (or for him to have such a… colorful personality, considering his cold demeanor upon first meeting me), let alone want to get as close to me as he has become recently. He even invited me to his house a few times (his little brother is adorable, but he always seems to be staring oddly at me. Is there something on my face?)

I hope my longtime-brewing feelings for ‘The school’s dancing gem’ don’t change how close we’ve gotten, because I’ve really come to value him as a friend, more than just a crush.

Seo Changbin: The 2nd year “bad boy”, who’s really just a softie. Despite him being known as such for being part of the boxing club (and doing pretty good on it) and owning a motorcycle, he also works part-time at the cafe (there, I discovered that he has the cutest smile).

Even the way we met goes against the way he’s been stereotyped. He showed me (on my first, nerve-filled, day) the way to my class (which I later found out was nowhere near his own class).

I refuse to admit that my increased number of trips to the small, cozy cafe is for me to catch a glimpse of that beautiful smile, the fondness in his eyes as he talks to his little sister when she visits him at work, but it is most definitely not because of how much I’ve come to enjoy the giggle-filled conversations we have during his breaks and slower days. I instead like to blame it on my borderline addiction on coffee and hot chocolate.

I hope that, as time goes by, we can talk more. I’d love to see that wonderful smile directed at me more often. I just wish that he never invites me to one of his fights, because I don’t think I’d be able to handle seeing the wounds beneath all those band-aids he always wears.

Hwang Hyunjin: The school’s certified pretty boy (and the most popular one). He sits next to me in most classes, so I got to know him for not just his looks, but his intelligence as well, and during dance club, I got to know his humorous side and the passion he holds for dance. I also found that he is a lot shier than most would expect him to be.

There are just a few problems with my growing interest for him: 1- his crazy fangirls (who drive me crazy for only appreciating his visuals), 2- my childhood friend, Jisung, hates him (and it seems to be mutual) which makes for some interesting classes, considering I sit between them and 3- my, infinitely more talented, best friend, Maia, has a crush on him (at least she did last time we talked about it, which we don’t do often, for obvious reasons, so maybe it’s passed?)

Despite all of this, I can’t help but feel attracted to the boy with the purest giggle and an eye-smile brighter than the sun itself.

Han Jisung: My childhood friend, we’ve basically been joined at the hip since we met. Despite this, even he doesn’t know some of my deepest secrets. I didn’t tell him about most boys in this ‘list’, but every time I spoke about any of them, he acted like an overprotective brother, talking about how they didn’t deserve me and things like that. I don't even want to imagine what he would have said or done if I told him about my interest in Hyunjin, considering they're basically mortal enemies.

He’s the one Maia keeps pushing me to reveal my feelings to (because apparently, he'd be the most likely to return them. Something I don't agree with). Although she'd also like our boyfriends to be able to at least look at each other without rolling their eyes.

And I can see why she does this, I mean, he's handsome, adorable, thoughtful, reliable and knows me like very few people do. But, as cliché as it sounds, I don't want to ruin our friendship because it really means a lot to me.I sometimes wonder if simply by being his friend, I'm only hurting myself more.

Both his sisters treat me like family and I see them as the sisters I never had, during broadcast club (which we have together) I not only get to listen to his soft voice for long periods of time, I also get to experience how truly thoughtful and attentive he is everyone around him as he solves all the problems sent in by students with a gentleness I sometimes wished was directed at me more often.

Lee Felix: The 2nd year, australian transfer student, with the cutest freckles. I never thought I had a thing for accents, but Felix proved that, in fact, I do, and don't get me started on his voice, deep enough to make basically anyone swoon, it has nothing to do with his cute face (and even cuter personality). Before meeting Felix, I had no doubts that Hyunjin was the most handsome boy in school, but now I'm questioning that fact. There’s just something about him, everything fits so perfectly.

I still remember how lost he looked on his first day. With barely any decent English speakers other than myself and a few others, I inevitably became his korean tutor and quite close to him. With his talent for dancing I doubt he'll have problems getting a job, but I hope I can help him become fluent in time for the exams.

Kim Seungmin: My mother’s best friend's son (confusing, I know). The 1st year from the photography club, who asked me to go with him when he went abroad to continue his studies in college (at the time I said I’d think about it but I know it wouldn't be possible).

We met at his mom's birthday party, where we kept each other company throughout the (screeching-filled) event, as the other kids were much younger than the both of us.

In that one afternoon (that dragged on to night), I found out a lot about him, like the fact that his dream is to become a world-known photographer, or the fact that he is incredibly shy (I had to start the conversation even after about 5 minutes of sitting in awkward silence) and because of this, he doesn't smile much, only giving me small, polite and tight smiles in the beginning of our conversation. I was only able to get a real smile out of him when I glanced at one of the pictures on the wall, complimenting him on it. He immediately got this light in his eyes, even if he (at first) tried to act bashful. After I praised his vision, his smile turned wide, broad and genuine as he went on and on about his passion.

On that night, I also found out something about myself, the fact that I'd do anything to keep that beautiful smile on his face, even if it took him away from me.

Yang Jeongin: My new, 1st year, neighbor and Seungmin’s best friend.We actually met once Seungmin told me how desperately in need of help he was in English. So, despite my already busy schedule, I offered to help him. And, after discovering that he had recently moved into the house across from mine, we walked home together (after cancelling my plans with Chan).

The boy was friendly from the start, lively, energetic, and all around an actual ball of sunshine.

With so much love to give and so little confidence in things like his wonderful voice, I suspect he hasn't received a lot of love back. I wish I could be the one to give it to him. I guess I should take Woojin’s advice and get him to come out of his shell too.But with how often he seems to blush around me, I doubt he has enough experience with girls to know what a crush even feels like and I'd hate to confuse him with my own feelings.

#bang chris #bang chan #skz lee know #stray kids #skz #woojin #kim woojin #lee minho #minho #lee know #chan #seo changbin #changbin #han jisung #jisung #hyunjin #hwang hyunjin #yang jeongin #jeongin #lee felix #skz felix #kim seungmin #seungmin #romance #to all the boys i've loved before #xreader #reader #skz x reader #stray kids x reader

[sally-mun]

Ever met a celebrity or anybody famous? The most famous person I've met was a former pro boxer, by the name of Ray 'Boom-Boom' Mancini at a charity dinner at the banquet center I worked at 4 years ago. Nicest man you'd ever meet and he even sent me a signed autograph picture in the mail. I'm a Star Trek fan and I'd love to meet the cast of TNG, but autographs and conventions are so expensive. Of course there's the chance you could catch one of them on a bad day and get the brunt of it

If we’re including conventions, then yeah I’ve met several famous people before. I’ve met and gotten autographs and/or selfies from voice actors and screen actors, and I’ve occasionally met some artists too! Outside of that, though, I can’t really say I have. Even my best and most extensive meeting was still at a convention. You could even argue that Mario Marathon was kind of a convention in a sense, albeit a super limited one!

I wasn’t sure if I should include a list or not, so as a compromise I’m going to do so below a cut!

Voice Actors:

Sonny Strait (voice of Krillin) -- Got to spend basically an entire day with him! Unexpectedly encountered him at a convention waaaay way back in the day and he just kind of adopted me and the other handful of fans that were hanging around. He gave us all free DBZ CCG t-shirts, let us sit in the DBZ hummer, and signed anything we put in front of him!

Christopher Sabat (voice of Vegeta) -- I brought him a set of cookies made to look like dragon balls, and brought my favorite Vegeta card that I’d been saving for something like 17 years or so on the off-chance I could ever get it signed. He was so moved and impressed that he gave me two other autographs for free~

Todd Haberkorn (voice of Jaco) -- This was the same convention where I got to meet Chris Sabat, and I also brought him a box of cookies. He was so excited that he dug into them right then and there, and then when signing my card he even wrote “Thanks for the galactic cookies!”

Chuck Huber (voice of Android 17/Hiei) -- I’ve gotten autographs from him a couple of times for different characters. One of the items I got signed was one of the original Hiei action figures back when Yu Yu Hakusho first debuted in the US. He was impressed that I had it at all, let alone that it was in the box. (Amusingly, the only reason I did was because I had one previous to it that was out of the box on display and whose sword had broken. I got a new one intending to replace it, but just never opened it.)

Chris Rager (voice of Mr. Satan) -- SUCH a nice guy! We had a nice little chat and I offered him some dragon ball cookies I’d been handing out that day. He signed my trading card and took a selfie with me! I caught him at a panel where he told some absolutely amazing behind-the-scenes stories that I still tell to other people to this day.

Chris Cason (voice of Tien) -- Not much to say about this encounter, I didn’t get to say much more than a hello and thank you before he had to go. I’d missed the official signing session and just happened to catch him after a panel.

Team Four Star -- I catch these guys every opportunity I can manage, and every time I bring them some DBZ-themed treat. I refer to myself as “Snack Girl” when I come to get autographs, and at my last encounter Lanipator mentioned that I looked familiar when I came to the table, so I guess I’m making an impact! I have several stories concerning these guys, way too many to list here.

Little Kuriboh (YGOA voice of Merik, DBZA voice of Freeza) -- Amusingly I met him the time I was at a convention in my Piccolo costume, and that ended up being a whole conversation by itself. It then immediately turned into a conversation about Fallout because someone had brought him some New Vegas playing cards, lol. He was enamored with the trading card I had brought him to sign, and we had a discussion about a fund raiser he’d hosted to raise money for disaster relief where I’d won one of the auctions he’d held.

Kevin Conroy (voice of Batman) -- I found out very late that he was going to be in town, like maybe a week or two before, and dropped EVERYTHING to be able to meet him. When I was in line for an autograph I was so worked up that I kept getting light headed and having heart palpitations. By the time I actually made it to the table I was so starstruck that I could barely say anything. I’m pretty sure I said “I can’t believe you’re here” (??? wtf past-me) and something about him being so talented. He thanked me and didn’t really say much. I had also paid for a photo with him, and in the photo you can see my hand gripping the side of my leg REALLY tightly because I had a very strong instinct to hug him and I WAS NOT ABOUT TO BE THAT FANGIRL.

Charles Martinet (voice of most of the Mario cast) -- Holy shit, this man is playful! He was an absolute delight to talk to, and even just to watch with other people while I was in line. He was very open to whatever sorts of fan requests each person had and was just so warm and gracious with each person that came up. I mostly just wanted to shake his hand and tell him that Mario games basically set me up for the person I grew up to be today. The thing that amused me the most is that if you had him autograph one of the prints at the table, which had all the Mario characters on it, he’d do the voices of each character while doodling little word balloons for them~

Screen Actors:

John Barrowman (Captain Jack Harkness in Doctor Who/Torchwood) -- This was one of the first times I’d gone to a convention specifically to meet an actor. He was a lot of fun and did his best to be chatty, but his handlers were kind of hurrying people along. He was especially tickled by my name (I guess he doesn’t sign too many autographs made out to “Leda”), and he even signed a second item that we happened to have for free!

Cary Elwes (Wesley in The Princess Bride, among other things) -- This was another one of those moments where the weight of just WHO I was meeting got to me and I completely lost my voice. I think I said something about having grown up watching Princess Bride ever since I was a little kid?? I honestly don’t remember what I said, it’s kind of a blur. All I know is that I was so struck by the moment that I didn’t even remember to say that I also love him in the Saw movies.

Billy Boyd (Pippin in Lord of the Rings) -- Not a lot I can say about this one because it was a very fast-paced, conveyor belt sort of affair. We exchanged greetings and he thanked us very much for coming out to see him, and we all agreed that Pippin is totes the best hobbit.

Robin Lord Taylor (Penguin in Gotham) -- One of my favorite interactions meeting a celebrity, for sure! He was actually really interested in knowing about -me-, which completely threw me off-guard. He wanted to know where I was from and what I did for a living, and when I said I was a manager at Spencer’s he got really excited and squeaked “I LOVE Spencer’s!” While he was signing my doll I explained that Penguin is by far my family’s favorite character in Gotham and that we had a joke where, anytime the show switches back to him, we say “Meanwhile, with the REAL main character...” He got a big kick out of that~

Khary Payton (King Ezekiel in The Walking Dead) -- So I don’t watch a huge amount of Walking Dead, but I watch enough that I wanted to come along when my mom went to go get an autograph from him for my brother. He’s definitely the friendliest celebrity I’ve encountered -- so much so that he wouldn’t stay behind the table! He spent the entire time in FRONT of the table so he could hug every single person that came to see him! It was a nice strong hug, too, and he was just so welcoming and pleasant. I told him that, if I had to choose one of the communities in The Walking Dead, I’d absolutely choose The Kingdom. He threw his hands up to his sides and said dramatically, “You will always have a place in my kingdom!”

Penn & Teller -- This year my mom took me on a surprise trip to Las Vegas, and while we were there we got to see Penn & Teller perform, which has always been a dream of mine! After the show they came out into the lobby and they did autographs and selfies with anyone that wanted one, and I got to meet them each. It was a little disarming hearing Teller talk, and Penn was as funny as ever because he’d loudly comment whenever someone’s phone wasn’t working. During this trip I also had my Boris plushie as my “traveling doll” and asked if they’d take pictures with him as well, which they both obliged. Teller seemed particularly amused by Boris.

James Rolfe (the Angry Video Game Nerd) -- So I actually have kind of a long history with him, which originated with me contacting the show to donate a fairly odd peripheral accessory. I given a green light and provided an address, and since I was going to be mailing him anyway, I basically just got a big box and threw in any video game related stuff that I didn’t want anymore and didn’t feel like putting the effort into selling. It ended up being a HUGE box, so much so that I included an inventory list to make sure he didn’t accidentally throw something away. To my surprise he actually mailed me back an autographed AVGN print thanking me for the donations! I thought that’d be the end of it, but he’s actually since featured that peripheral several times on the show, and even included an Easter egg that I asked for twice! This year I got to meet him at Too Many Games and introduced myself as the one that sent the item in. He mentioned that they had a lot of fun messing with it.

Mario Marathon team -- I’m known as one of the regulars since I’ve been around since the first year, and a couple of years ago I was actually invited to the marathon itself as a player! It’s definitely one of the most amazing experiences of my life, and I only wish I could do it all over again! Everyone was just... wonderful~ I was there for several days so there’s obviously way too many stories to tell, but at least in this case you can always go watch the videos on Twitch.

Artists:

Steven Butler -- This was particularly amusing because I was the one that caught him by surprise. I happened to be making my way through the Artist Alley when I realized he was there, and since no one was at the table at the time I went over to talk to him. We had an awesomely long chat about his work (I was going through a sample book on the table) and his time drawing for the Sonic comics. He tried to bring it up as a talking point, and I told him “I know, I own some of your pages!” which REALLY threw him for a loop! He showed me some art for a new Sonic-style story he’s been working on, and I completely fell in love with a character that was clearly inspired by Sally (and I’m not just assuming, he confirmed as much). I then started talking about @fini-mun and how it’s only a shame he couldn’t meet Deebs too, and was talking about Deebs’ history with art and almost getting recruited to be in the Archie art stable as well and how they now do art streams. He was particularly interested in the streams, and I was like “Oh yeah, that’s actually why they aren’t here now, they have a stream today!” so he gave me a free print to pass along to Deebs as a show of interest and support!

Veronica Vera (from the Not Enough Rings comic) -- This was another chance encounter in Artist Alley. I was just kind of poking around to see everyone’s work, and I realized I recognized the comic she was selling. I commented that I loved that comic, and she said she was selling hardcover copies of the entire series. I love the comic and I wanted to show my support, so I bought a book and she signed the inside cover! Unfortunately Oliver Bareham wasn’t there at the time, so no autograph from him. Maybe one day if I’m incredibly lucky, I suppose.

Rich Koslowski -- This was at one of my very first conventions ever. He was an inker of the Sonic comics at the time, and I was only.... 12, I think? I mostly was just excited to be meeting someone that works on Sonic stuff, and I can’t remember much about the encounter aside from just babbling about liking Sonic. I remember him being very kind.

And unfortunately... Ken Penders --  This was at the same convention I just mentioned with Koslowski. As stated above I was only 12, and I was just excited to meet someone who works on Sonic stuff. I believe I was there because of a post on Archie’s Sonic website. Anyway what strikes me as the most surprising about this encounter is how -normal- it all was, at least as far as I remember it. I’ve heard some horror stories of Penders being horrible to fans at conventions, but at least way back at this time (like 1997 or so), he was passing for a normal human. He didn’t say anything mean to me (that I noticed), and he actually gave me some free Sonic loot, which I can’t imagine him ever doing nowadays. I still have the comic book he signed, and I legit consider burning it on a regular basis.

OKAY this ended up way longer that I thought it would. I think even -I- forgot how many people I’ve met before. If I think of anyone else I’ll add it to the list later!

#sheesh this took me like an hour #magnumthecreator001

[sun-to-my-luna]

"LAUREN JAUREGUI COMO SOLISTA PREDICCIONES CAMREN " Guys I found this in YouTube, watch this video it's in Spanish though so I can't understand anything at all but it's about Camren so I thought I could share with you people and I'm trying to translator through voice translator. If anyone know Spanish please let us know what the lady is trying to tell us. Even though it's just a predication about Camren & Lauren. I just need know so help me or us. 🙏

Here’s the translation:

” Yes our lovely Lauren has had  a sad past, but overall this card is telling me that she comes from a great family that has always loved her so much, nevertheless she has a problem with insecurity, and things are not what they seem like. The cards are also telling me that when she was in 5H, unfortunately,  she sadly wasn’t very comfortable.  When they were all united she was a bit happier, but after Camila left she got sad like she wasn’t the same.

The cards are also telling me that her as a solo artist will hit hard, of course she’s going to bring out a couple new songs, and they’ll be in first place for at least a month or for some time. She’s coming strong, with new things, with new features, but also the cards are telling me that’s she been thinking about a girl from the past a lot. This card confirms what I’ve said before, that she is a girl that’s indeed bisexual.

They’re also telling me she has just signed with the people in power up there,  and that she’ll be another one of those artist inside of their boat. She sings really beautiful, she has her talent, but nevertheless they have told her that in order to give her that recognition  they’ll be behind her all the time, because she’ll sell A LOT, because of her beautiful voice that is one and only, and  unique.

The cards however are telling me that right now she isn’t happy with everything that she’s projecting. They’re telling me that she’s going out with a guy, I think his name is Ty, but there’s going to be a break up in a few  months. It’s only passing off as a loving relationship, but it has nothing to do with anything serious. Nothing to do with getting married tomorrow. The cards are telling me that we’ll see him  later on with a different girl. 

Lauren will change, and this card confirms to me that she has to be very careful, because she’s going to have a very drastic change. The truth is she’ll have a few dramas for the next year, and she’ll give everyone a lot to talk about. To which this card says that it will do her a lot of good when it comes to her album so that she keeps being on top. I also see her being on tour, but her tour will only be going to a few continents. Nothing near China, or too far away.  More near Portugal, Brazil, and Italy. She knows that she’s very loved by Mexico, and she will definitely be stepping on Mexican soil.

I also see her signing a new contract, and she’ll bring out new things. A lot of projects are coming to me. Something that has to do with lipstick or make up related.  I see her signing papers. 

But there will be a breakup, with the boyfriend that she currently has. I see her being confused. Sometimes she feels great within that relationship, and sometimes she feels awful. She’s never liked being alone, and it’s rare that she feels alone sometimes.

We also see that there’s something there or someone else there. Someone that doesn’t really want her to get the success that she deserves. There’s someone. Someone that was I think part of the group, as if there was a lot of jealously there. Someone that thinks it doesn’t do them any good to have her succeed.

[howaminotinthestrokesyet]

Married With Children: Noel Gallagher

Noel Thomas David Gallagher was born on May 29, 1967 in Manchester, England. He grew up with two siblings, Liam and older brother Paul. Growing up, Paul received his own room, while Noel needed to share one with younger brother Liam. He was referred to as the family “weirdo” by Liam due to his reclusive loner personality. Much of this stemmed from the abuse from his father handed down to him and Paul. In the documentary Supersonic, the guitarist would say that his father “beat the talent into him.” Both he and Paul suffered from stammers that were made worse by their father, which only went away after fours of speech therapy. In 1982, Peggy Gallagher left her husband for good raising the three boys on her own. As a teen, Noel was regularly truant and often in trouble with the police. At 15, Noel would be expelled from school for supposedly throwing a “flour bomb” at a teacher, but years later he denied having anything to do with it. As a Manchester City fan, he hung with hooligan crews such as Maine Line Crew, Under-5s, and Young Guvnors in the 1980’s. At the age of 14, Gallagher received six months probation for robbing a corner store. This actually became an important moment in his life because during that probationary period, Noel taught himself to play guitar after receiving one as a gift from his mother. He would learn his favorite songs from the radio with a chief one being the Smiths always emulating Johnny Marr. He had first heard the group on Top of the Pops in 1983 playing the song “This Charming Man.” The brothers still maintained limited contact with their father, working construction jobs throughout their teens. During one such job for the British Gas Company after leaving their father, Noel was injured by a cap on a steel pipe. Upon his recovery, the guitarist was given an easier job in the storehouse, where he had plenty of time to play guitar. Noel has said that he wrote at least three tracks from Definitely Maybe in that room including “Live Forever.” He would later nickname that storehouse “The Hit Hut” saying that the walls were made out of gold in jest. In May 1988, Gallagher met guitarist Graham Lambert of Inspiral Carpets while attending a Stone Roses concert. The pair became friends, which led to the future Oasis founder attending many of their shows locally. Noel even auditioned to be the singer, but did not get the gig. He instead began working as a drum tech and roadie for the band. He would soon meet fellow roadie Mark Coyle when they bonded over their shared love of the Beatles. Coyle would go on to run the sound for their live appearances for a few years.

Noel was the primary songwriter in Oasis for the first three albums, until he allowed other members to also contribute on each subsequent record. According to some critics, he has many times praised his music a little to much. Yet, the guitarist and singer has always had a quip ready to defend himself. “If you'd written 'Live Forever', you'd be walking to a different tune the next day too." He has often been accused of plagiarism in copying his favorite music, but Noel has always remained steadfast in his perspective. “I'm not saying, 'I'm the greatest songwriter in the world. Listen to me.' Usually, I'm saying, 'These are the greatest songwriters in the world. And I'm gonna put them all in this song.'" He was once asked if there was any guilt related to any artistic theft.

“No, I don't feel guilty. But you feel pissed off because you didn't do it first. When I'm making a record, I've always been of the notion that if a song sounds like T. Rex, well, fuck it, let's make it sound more like T. Rex! I know there's bands that might write something that sounds like the Smiths, and they'll go, 'Oh, it sounds like the Smiths, we've got to make it sound not like the Smiths.' If I'm writing a song and I say to myself, 'Oh, hey, it sounds like the Kinks,' then I'm going to turn it into a Kinks track."

As a guitarist, Noel knows that he is not going to be elected to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame based on his technical ability with that instrument.

“I'm unfortunate enough that two of my best mates are Johnny Marr and Paul Weller. Those two are virtuosos to me although neither of them would admit it. On the electric guitar they're it. So if you're asking me how do I compare to those two—and I like to compare myself to the greats—I'm average at fucking best." This probably helps to explain why he has used so many different guitars and pedals since 2000. Many great guitarists usually swear by one instrument for the entirety of their career.

Weller was once asked about Gallagher’s guitar expertise, and he said it was “rudimentary at best.” As for his lyrics, the songwriter has said in the past that he can barely recall what he was thinking about when he wrote certain lines.

“Like the bit in 'Champagne Supernova' about 'slowly walking down the hall faster than a cannonball'. What does that mean? And the answer is, I don't know what it means. I don't care what it means. It must mean something, though, because I play it to a sea of people every night and they seem to understand it. That's all that matters, I guess." His songwriting process he admits can be slow since Noel does not read or write music, as well as suffering from dyslexia.

After the breakup of Oasis, Noel performed his first shows without the group in February 2010 for the Teenage Cancer Trust. He would be supported by the Courteneers and Plan B. Former Oasis member Gem Archer joined him on stage, as well as Terry Kirkbride and Jay Darlington. The set list included acoustic renditions of popular Oasis tracks, as well as b-sides. In April 2010, Gallagher joined Paul Weller on stage for his show in London for “Mucky Fingers” and “Turn Up the Sun.” He would play drums for a song on Weller’s new record later that year, as well as appearing on the debut solo release of Miles Kane, My Fantasy, playing guitar. In February 2011, Noel said he had not even started any solo album despite Liam claiming he planned to steal material from the Dig Out Your Soul sessions. "I am not recording new stuff, not just yet," he said to Talksport. "It'll be out when it's finished I guess. Well I've not even started it, so I don't know." Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds would release a self-titled album in October 2011. At the time of its release, Noel said that he planned to release a record with Amorphous Androgynou, but this project never saw the light of day. That same month Gallagher began touring the new release with an opening date in Dublin. The first single “The Death of You and Me” included an accompanying music video released in the summer of 2011. In March 2015, Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds released a followup entitled Chasing Yesterday. A third album would come out in November 2017 entitled Who Built the Moon? His group also released some ep’s including Blue Moon Rising. In June 2021, he released a greatest hits compilation for Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds entitled, Back the Way We Came Vol. 1 (2011-2021). He even ended the former rivalry with Blur’s Damon Albarn by singing on the Gorillaz track “We Got the Power.”

Most of the controversy related to Noel Gallagher has been associated with his statements in interviews that many have looked upon as insulting. He once said, “People think [I'm] controversial for the answers [I] give to silly questions in interviews, but ... I'm not thinking about insulting people; I say what I genuinely feel is in my heart. My conscience is clean, d'you know what I mean? Y'know, I'm true to myself—fuck everybody else." This statement came after questions about some of his lyrics on the track “My Big Mouth” on Be Here Now. His most infamous statement came in 1995 when he wished that members of Blur including Damon Albarn died from AIDS. The beef and rivalry between the two groups had cooled by 2007 when he told New Musical Express that “I've got a lot of respect for Damon, I really do mean it. Because I'm indifferent to Damon he thinks that I think he's a cunt. Our Liam will talk to him, I won't because he's just another singer in a band to me, but I don't think he's a cunt."

In his personal life, Noel first became engaged to his then girlfriend at the age of 18, but they never married, and eventually broke up. In 1988, the guitarist moved in with Louise Jones, who he wrote the song “Slide Away” for, but they separated in 1994. Noel would say, “I don’t think I’ll ever get over it.” In 1997, Gallagher married Meg Matthews, but divorced in January 2001. The grounds for the separation was him cheating on her with publicist Sara McDonald, but Noel would later claim that he made that up in order to speed up the process. Despite this claim, the guitarist went ahead and began a relationship with McDonald that included two sons, Donovan and Sonny. He had previously had a daughter Anais with Matthews. He married Sara, who hails from Scotland in 2011, where friend Russell Brand stood up as best man. Gallagher is friends with Gary Mounfield, Richard Ashcroft, the Chemical Brothers, John Lydon, Steve Jones, Kasabian, Andy Nicholson, Ricky Hatton, Paul McCartney, Jamie Carragher, Chris Martin, Jonny Buckland, Johnny Marr, Morrissey, Bono, Paul Weller, Johnny Depp and Kate Moss. Like his brother Liam, Noel is a longtime fan of Manchester City like his brother. He even has a friend that played midfield for the team previously. After games, the team will play “Wonderwall” in honor of Oasis. One anecdote may best sum up the persona of Noel Gallagher. In 2008, he found out James Blunt bought a home near him in Ibiza, so he promptly sold his place not wanting to be associated with him and his music in any way whatsoever.

[the-fandom-newsletter]

Fandom Newsletter #4

Today is Friday, the 26th of October, and Welcome back to another Fandom Newsletter! 

Writers: Atlas, Blackpurrl, Fyne, YoursTruly Editors: Fyne and YoursTruly 

“Oh my God, Karen! You can’t just ask people why they’re white.” ~Mean Girls

Let’s get started! 

First to YoursTruly with the Horror, Hannibal, Tim Burton, Animation, and Gaming fandoms--

Horror: Horror fans love the new Halloween movie! The movie has been a massive success among fans young and old! The movie gives off a nostalgic vibe, even referencing the older movies several times throughout the film. However, if you’re going to see this movie, stay until after the credits, there’s a little surprise at the end. 

Hannibal: The Fannibals have began trying to bargain with show runner and producer Bryan Fuller for another season. The show left off on a not so satisfying conclusion, and many fans want more. Bryan Fuller has even teased the idea himself quite a few times. Will we get another season one day? Guess we’ll have to wait and see. 

Tim Burton: Disney is offering, throughout the month of October, Halloween themed cruises. They even offer an onboard show featuring Jack Skellington and Sally. And you can even meet these characters for pictures! Now that’s a cruise! Also- The Nightmare Before Christmas celebrates its 25th anniversary this year! 

YouTube: YouTube recently crashed worldwide for two hours. YouTube hasn’t said much about the incident, but problems like this are becoming more and more common on YouTube. Many people are wondering what the causes of these issues are. 

Animation: Goretober is in full swing! Many animators have been uploading their daily Goretober art. 

Gaming: The season of scary game releases is upon us! October is the month where many creators on platforms like Steam and Gamejolt are releasing their horror games in anticipation for Halloween. 

Now to Blackpurrl with the Harry Potter and Bands fandoms, along with World News--

Harry Potter: Countdown to Fantastic Beasts: 27 days!

Bands: Did you know, about twelve hours of songs are uploaded to SoundCloud every minute? Insane!

World News: Denmark Shooting for the Digital Stars

Next to Fyne with the Sherlock, Supernatural, and Spooptober fandoms, as well as the weekly positive news--

Sherlock - Ever wonder how our beloved show even came to be? Apparently, for years, writers Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss took a train to and from Cardiff while working on Doctor Who, and discussed various projects they were interested in doing. One that kept coming up repeatedly was a modern-day adaptation of Sherlock Holmes. This reportedly went on for some time (with neither man making any particular effort to get it up and going) until Moffat’s wife, Sue, invited both men out for lunch. Her place of choice just so happened to be the Criterion, a watering hole and eatery in London’s Piccadilly Circus. It just so happens to be the same place where the fictional John Watson (Sherlock’s best friend) first hears of the famed detective. The two men got the hint and began working on the series, bringing us our show that we have today. I think we all owe Sue a little bit of a thank you, don’t you?

Supernatural - Did you notice that (according to Archangel Michael in the episode The Song Remains the Same) Dean and Sam come from the bloodline of Cain and Abel? So is this important? Or is this just another coincidence?

Spooptober - This year is the year that Halloween movie Hocus Pocus reaches its 25th anniversary. The premise of the movie is this: After moving to Salem, Massachusetts, teenager Max Dennison explores an abandoned house with his sister Dani and their new friend, Allison. After dismissing a story Allison says is superstitious, Max accidentally frees a coven of evil witches who used to live in the house. Now, with the help of a magical cat, the kids must steal the witches' book of spells to stop them from becoming immortal.A family favorite movie that almost everyone has seen and that is playing on at least one channel nearly every night of October. If you haven’t seen this iconic movie, you definitely should go channel surfing at some point this month.

Positive News - The words we use to talk about mental health can perpetuate stigmas. A new portrait project featuring people who have mental health issues aims to make us think again about the language we choose.

Lastly to Atlas with the Voltron, Musicals, and Movie fandoms--

Voltron: This fandom is a ticking time bomb set for December 14th. We are all going to die.

Musicals: George Salazar ships Boyf-riends! 

Movies: Who else wants a live action Corpse Bride?

Now back to Blackpurrl with the weekly movie review--

Movie Review: Hannibal Rising

This movie relays the story of Hannibal Lecter’s childhood. Although most of the especially gory parts are not on camera, the viewer eventually knows exactly what became of the victim. It provides an interesting plot, and explains why the famous cannibal does what he does. I would not recommend this movie to anyone under thirteen or anyone who cannot handle tragic stories. Overall, I’d give it a 10/10.

And back to Fyne with the weekly trivia fact and quiz--

Trivia Fact - Did you know that the inventor of liquid soap became paralyzed after he slipped in the shower?

Are you an optimist, a pessimist, or a realist?

1. You fail a test. What is your reaction?

A. I'm stupid. I’m going to fail my exams.

B. This was just a blip. I’ll do better next time. 

C. The questions were too hard. This is where my abilities stand.

2. You have quit smoking, but you accidentally have a cigarette. Which of the following is your reaction?

A. You have been set back, so you just go right back into the addiction.

B. You have been set back, but you believe you can quit again.

C. You have been set back, so you come up with ways to avoid similar circumstances that led you to the set back.

3. You are shown a picture of a man who isn’t smiling. What do you think this man is feeling/doing?

A. The man is plotting, rude, or experiencing something unpleasant.

B. The man is relaxing, thinking, or did not have enough time to smile. 

C. The man is posing for the picture.

4. A close friend of yours sets you up on a blind date. How do you feel about this?

A. You have no clue what your date is like and you are afraid they’re going to set you up with a complete loser.

B. You have faith in their opinion and want to see for yourself what your date is going to be like. 

C. You decide to see what your date is like and decide for yourself how well your friend did. 

5. You’re a business owner who goes bankrupt. How do you proceed?

A. You see this failure as a sign that you are not meant to be in this business and pursue other options.

B. You see this failure as a lesson and use it to help you further your business in future reference.

C. You see this failure as a sign and choose to make plans to pull yourself out of bankruptcy.

6. You get a raise. How do you feel about it?

A. You don’t understand why you got the raise and you wonder if there is an ulterior motive.

B. You accept the raise happily, glad that your hard work has finally been recognized.

C. Yay! More money!

7. You’re an accountant and today you made a mistake with a number. What is your reaction?

A. You figure out where you went wrong, and then feel horrible about it for a long time afterward, questioning your abilities and worthiness as an accountant.

B. You figure out where you went wrong, fix it, and move forward.

C. You recognize the mistake and move on. 

8. You have a bad day. Which of these is you after the day is over?

A. You believe that your life has been full of hardship and negative experiences.

B. You see the bad days as part of your life that help you grow or benefit you in some way.

C. Recognize that you had a bad day, and resolve to try again tomorrow. 

9. You are struggling with groceries and someone comes to help you. How do you respond? 

A. You become suspicious, tell them that you have nothing to give them, and maybe even yell at them to leave you alone.

B. You thank them and talk about their day or ask them about themselves.

C. You politely say thank you and either accept or decline their help. 

10. You go on a vacation. Which of these is you?

A. Complain about everything you do and could potentially do, and eventually wind up not wanting to do anything at all but watch TV in the hotel room.

B. You want to experience as much as the location has to offer, even though you had no plans about what to do.

C. You enjoy the vacation and plan extensively about what you want to do and when.

Mostly A’s: You appear to be a pessimist. Always seeing the bad and negative in everything probably isn’t helping you be any happier or lead a happier life. Try and maybe appreciate things more often.

Mostly B’s: You appear to be an optimist. Always seeing the good and positive is probably helping you be fairly happy, and even leading to a happier life style. Though try not to be too optimistic all the time because it may end up hurting you in the long run.

Mostly C’s: You appear to be a realist. I guess you’re sort of a neutral character. Good for you.

(This isn’t physiologically proven, its literally just a test I made up in my free time so don’t take the results to heart and please do not be offended)

And finally, back to YoursTruly with the weekly book review--

Book Review- The Life Of P.T. Barnum is a fantastic book for anyone who loves a good biography. The book is a wildly entertaining autobiography by P.T. Barnum about his own life, starting from his childhood and following him through all his adventures. All in all, a fantastic book. 10/10 

Wish our illustrator and writer Blackpurrl a happy birthday today! Comic is brought to you by our very talented artist, Blackpurrl. That’s all for this week, we’ll see you next week with another Fandom Newsletter! 

Signing off, 

Atlas, Blackpurrl, Fyne, and YoursTruly 

#horror #hannibal #tim burton #youtube #animation #gaming #harry potter #bands #world news #sherlock #supernatural #spooptober #trivia facts #personality quiz #positive news #voltron #musicals #movies #movie review #book review #comic #fandom newsletter #fandom news #fyne #blackpurrl #yourstruly #atlas #artists on tumblr

[land-of-frogs-and-dragons]

This is the fic for the Reverse Hunk Bang at @hunkbigbang !!!

My artist is the very talented @artbymaryc and a link to their art is at the bottom of the post!!! @ze-zir was also a partner for the bang. I'm on mobile so I can't put this fic under a readmore, so I'll fix that once I'm on a computer.

Hunk padded through the hallway, bayard at the ready. He heard his blood pumping in his ears, unease slipping down his spine like water droplets sliding down a window pane during a storm.

He thought back, remembering the looks on the faces of the little ones, the children who were stolen from their home. He knew they were here somewhere, knew that it would be hard to find them, but he had hope that he’d find them before getting found.

Determination clear in his stance, he continued further into the belly of the base. Harsh metal swapped for rock, then back to metal. He descended into lower levels of the base, unease growing the further he went. Where were the guards? Where were the other Galra? Why did this feel so much like a horror movie waiting to happen?

The deeper he got, the more the soft purple lighting shifted, changing, becoming closer and closer to a harsh red. He knew that he was running out of time, but he kept his pace slow. He didn’t need to run into any Galra, and the faster he moved the more likely it was that he’d be seen and heard.

His skin crawled, unease shifting to fear, then to concern, then to anger, and back to unease. It was the lighting, he realized, that was so off-putting. It was close to a blood-red now, a color that was abnormal for any sort of normal lighting scheme. Except that the Jharrot were a species that lived underground. It was designed so that the Galra would be able to see and fight with ease, but the Jharrot would be at a disadvantage.

A soft noise pulled him from his thoughts, making him pause. It was coming from in front of him, but he didn’t know exactly where it came from; the Galra base was laid out like a maze. He waited, praying that the sound would happen again.

A soft whimper echoed through the hallways, a sound so quiet he’d have missed it if he’d been moving. It was definitely coming from in front of him, but off to the left. He made his way forward again, doing his best to remain quiet. He headed towards the sound, praying that the children were okay.

He made his way down a few more hallways, careful to listen for Galra footsteps ad for the noise he’d heard. Slowly, he made his way closer to what he hoped was the missing children.

He noticed the floor changing the further her went, splotches of what he hoped were dirt and scuff marks becoming more and more frequent. There was an odd scent in the air, the iron tang of what he pretended was rusty metal. The whimpering was louder and more frequent now; the sound tore his heart into two. He followed the noise, heart growing heavier the farther he went.

He passed a doorway and stopped. The whimpering seemed to be coming from inside the room, but he didn’t know for sure. He’d just have to look.

The door didn’t have a window, so he had no idea what he’d be walking into. But he needed to look, needed to find the children and bring them home. Hesitantly, he placed his palm on the door.

With a soft woosh, it opened.

He was greeted by the strong scent of sulfur, lights in the room dim. Horror filled his soul and his heart, tears filling and spilling from his eyes. His disgust at the sight so strong that he had to fight back the urge to vomit, to cry for his mother, to do anything except save the children.

Dull, crusty yellow coated the room, covered the floor and the walls and every flat surface. Knives of various sizes were scattered throughout the room, placed as if Easter eggs for the children on Earth. The opposite side of the room had chains hanging from the wall, placed as if designed for the Jharrot. Currently, there were none trapped there.

What horrified him the most, what shook him to his core and made him re-evaluate his stance on many issues, was the machine in the middle of the room.

It was the only object not splattered with Jharrot blood like it was paint. Instead, it was kept pristinely clean, its purpose clear from the knives and scalpels and needles and spatula-like objects attached to it. Its purpose was made clear from the dying Jharrot child currently attached to the machine, bleeding out as its innards were scooped out and stored within the machine for some sort of odd purpose. Its legs had been  removed entirely, pinned down solely by gravity and its forearms.

Now it made sense. It made sense why he’d thought of the Galra armor when he’d first seen this species. Why he’d instinctively never touched the fancy fish egg-like food that Allura had offered him. The Galra, they were harvesting the Jharrot. He wouldn’t be surprised if they’d been trying to breed them.

The Jharrot child whimpered softly, empty sockets where eyes should be pointing feebly towards the door. The machine whirred softly, even as the sickening squelches of its purpose filled the room. Absently, he noted that the insides of the Jharrot were littered with the fish-egg-like stuff.

“Shhh, little one. I’m here.” He murmured softly, closing the distance between himself and the machine. “I’m gonna get you our of there, okay?”

He got a whimper in response. A pained whine, one that expressed more raw emotion than could ever be properly expressed.

Later on, he’d remember that he’d been so scared for the child. That he’d been scared that the child would die unfreed, that he wouldn’t shut the machine off, that he’d get caught and made to watch more and more Jharrot die as a result of his faults. Now, though, there was only what needed to be done.

He studied the machine, gears turning as he figured out how to turn it off without harming the child. Shooting it would stop it, but the child would die…

That’s it.

He pried a panel off the side, exposing wiring. He eyed it, praying that what he was about to do would work. And began cutting the wires.

The machine slowed, then creaked to a halt. The cuffs released, impaling the child on the spatula; the only indication of the new and unfamiliar pain was a loud whimper.

“Shhh, I’ve got you. It’s okay now.” He murmured softly, kneeling as he set his bayard to the side to gently lift the child from the machine. He cradled what was left in his arms, ignoring the way the blood coated his arms, his legs, his everything. “I’m gonna get you home, I promise.”

He gently shifted how he held the child, a new sense of determination filling his bones and his soul. It was as if every fiber of his being, every atom and iota of what made him who he was, knew what had to be done.

He held the child one-handed, grabbing his bayard and shifting it to its usual form. He noticed that it modified itself for his situation, allowing him to hold and shoot it with one hand instead of two. Slowly, he rose to his feet, jaw set.

He moved to leave the room, but turned to face the horrendous machine before doing so.

“Little one, what is your name?” He asked softly, gently, so as not to startle the slowly dying child.

“It…” He was surprised that the child could still speak; it showed exactly how determined this little one was. “It’s Anter.”

He fired his bayard at the machine, setting it ablaze and destroying it for good. Anter twitched at the sound, but relaxed; they had guessed correctly at what the noise had been.

“I’m going to get you out of here safely, but you might hear some things you won’t like.” He spoke calmly, leaving his room and making is way to the exit. He pointedly ignored the way his boots squelched with Anter’s blood, the way it seeped into his armor and onto his skin and made everything small like sulfur.

The duo ran into Galra rather quickly. A soldier on patrol, blasted and killed before they could make a sound. Soldiers laughing and joking before looking at them in horror, killed before an alarm went off. Perhaps it was the blood, perhaps it was the determination of his features, perhaps it was Anter clinging to life the way the last leaves cling to the trees in winter, but the Galra always needed a moment to take in his appearance.

But he had to leave quickly if Anter was going to get to see their family again.

He carefully made his way to where he entered,  moving faster as Anter’s whimpers became softer and softer. He refused to accept an alternative, he was going to save at least one Jharrot. He would, even if it killed him.

He emerged from the hole he’d made in the Galra base, stepping foot from the eery quiet and into what could only be described as a war-torn hellscape.

The others had been busy in his absence. They had torn down the Galra defenses, fought off their enemies, and were in the middle of an aerial battle. But that didn’t matter to him; he had to get to the ship. To the healing pods. Anter whined, a sound so quiet he could have missed it, and his determination soared to new and previously undiscovered heights.

“Allura.” He spoke into the comms. Silence echoed his words; he hadn’t realized he’d been tuning out the teams chatter until it was gone. “Get the medbay ready. I don’t know if it can handle this.”

It was the Red Lion that spotted him first; Keith’s shocked sharp inhale spoke volumes for how horrifying he appeared.

Pidge followed next; he pretended not to hear her throwing up in her lion.

Shiro saw, but said nothing. He knew; the Black Lion wouldn’t get faster and more deadly for no reason.

It was Lance who broke the silence, sent the noises of the battle back into his head and became something he needed to register.

“Dude—what the hell happened to it?!?”

He didn’t answer.

The blue lion landed before him, scooping him and his charge into its maw before flying as quickly as possible to the Castle. Allura was ready when he arrived, sparing some of her magic to make them get to the medbay faster. A pod was ready for Anter, though he knew their survival was unlikely. Still, he had to try.

“Hunk,” Allura began, voice quivering with emotions unspoken. “I don’t normally say this, but… Kill them. Leave the leader for the rest of us.”

“Of course.” He knew that Allura knew that he would kill as many Galra as he could. That he’d scour the base for surviving Galra and kill them for even thinking to harvest another sentient species in this way. He knew that she knew that he’d be expressing kindness by killing the leader, and he’d run out of patience for it when he’d entered the room.

They would be successful. They had to be.

#my writing #voltron #voltron hunk #tw blood #tw gore