#i'll probably feel better later on and you'll probably realize it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

asdfghjklmals · 9 months

Text

SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY✩༶‧˚

GENRE + T/W: sfw, fluff. WORD COUNT: 3.8k words. TAGS: satoru gojo x fem!oc. lovesick!gojo, lovesick!oc. hardcore mutual pining.

SYNOPSIS: oc gojo girlfriend and satoru are assigned an overnight mission together, but what happens when there's only one bed? AUTHOR'S NOTE: this fic takes place one week after love at first fight, so be sure to read it to know what happened last week 😊 and yes, satoru is the enemy in this title. the one tricky thing about writing student!satoru and oc gojo girlfriend is doing the research of what was used back in 2006-2007. like earphones and an mp3 player?! REMINDER: if you want to imagine yourself in oc gojo girlfriend's character descriptions instead, please do!

“hey (y/n)! yaga-sensei is looking for you.” suguru greeted you as he passed by you in the hallway of tokyo jujutsu high. you had just got out of the community showers after a very tiring close combat training session with mei mei.

you tossed your towel behind your shoulder, “he is? why?”

it's never a good thing when yaga-sensei is looking for anyone—that meant that you were in trouble or you had a mission. you haven't been assigned any missions yet, and you already got in trouble the other day for hemming your uniform skirt too short.

“he said to meet him in the classroom,” suguru said with an amusing smile, “i think you’re going to go on your first mission.”

“what?! really?!” you were so excited. you had been at jujutsu high for over a month now. yaga-sensei didn’t want to send you on any missions until you brushed up on your close combat. he knew that you could defend and attack in long ranges due to your cursed technique, but he didn’t want you to risk getting injured because you couldn’t fight at a close range yet—so you worked extra hard to get better at close combat.

“yup! i think you’ll have a great first mission.” suguru confidently said knowing damn well that your first mission would be with the one and only—satoru gojo.

you entered the first years' classroom, sliding the door shut behind you.

"hi (y/n), glad you could make it." yaga-sensei started, "i'm sending you on your first mission tomorrow."

"okay, that's great, but what's he doing here?" you pointed at the white haired sorcerer.

yaga-sensei cleared his throat, "he'll be your partner for your upcoming mission. satoru has kindly offered to join."

"hey." satoru waved, greeting you with a smug smile.

you started to feel your cheeks burn in mortification, "can i go with suguru instead?"

satoru was offended and wanted to know why you didn't want to go on a mission with him. he wanted to spend time with you, so how could you ask for suguru instead? the girl he was chasing wanted his bestfriend out of all people? he folded his arms in dissatisfaction, "suguru is busy. what's wrong wi—"

your sensei saved you by interrupting, "i'll brief the you two tomorrow before you leave on your mission. make sure to be ready by 5pm."

later that night: (y/n)'s dorm room

you and shoko were painting your nails in your dorm room as you updated her on what had happened earlier today.

"sensei's sending you on your very first mission with gojo?" shoko giggled, painting dark green nail polish on her fingernails.

you frowned, "i mean... it's not a bad thing, since satoru's really strong and all. but out of all people—why does it have to be him?"

"probably because there is a whopping total of 6 students here at jujutsu high. that gives you a high probability of going on a mission with gojo at least once in your life."

"we haven't really talked since last week." you sighed.

"you two haven't actually had any alone time since that day he took you shopping for your birthday." shoko realized, "—and then the idiot got in trouble for sneaking out of your dorm room that morning..."

"yeah, let's not talk about that," you blushed at the memory, overflowing your nails with baby blue nail polish on accident. (read 'love at first fight' here)

shoko reassured you, "you'll be fine! it's gojo after all—the mission should be a piece of cake and you'll be back in no time."

the next day: mission briefing

"the city of chiba has requested that we exorcise any curses that are in the area of a new department store that they are in the process of building." yaga-sensei started, "they requested one sorcerer grade 1 or higher as it's a time crunch for them and they’re willing to pay the premium. this is easily a grade 3 or 4 mission, so i figured this would be a great first time mission for you to shadow, (y/n)."

"and you get the best person to shadow." satoru bragged knowing it was him you were shadowing.

you rolled your eyes at him, adverting your attention back to your sensei, "i'm guessing this a one-day mission and we leave tomorrow?"

yaga-sensei cleared his throat, "actually, it's overnight. jujutsu high has a reservation at the daiwa roynet hotel across the street from the department store lot. you two will be leaving tonight, spending the night in chiba to get an early start on your mission and then coming back in the evening. i expect a full report the morning after you come back."

overnight?

you and satoru had to share a hotel room overnight?

you peered over at satoru. he was tipped back in his chair, balancing on the back two legs, his arms folded behind his head. he looked very content with this mission. your heart felt like it was going to jump out of your chest and roll out the door.

satoru turned to look at you, "ready to go, (y/n)? you got your big girl pants on for your first mission?"

you shot an ice shard at him, hitting his infinity as he hehehe'd in his seat. yaga-sensei massaged his temples watching his two special grade students go at it.

‘are these two ever going to finally admit they like each other?’ the sensei asked himself.

"are we leaving or not?" you barked at satoru, holding out your arm for him to link his through so you could teleport with him.

satoru winked at his sensei and gave him two finger guns before taking your arm to loop over his, "see you later, sensei."

satoru clasped his hands and just like that—you were in shibuya station.

*****************************

"you have to work on your long distance transportation so we don't have to take the subway, satoru." you bullied your partner.

"i told you last week that i was working on it." satoru rolled his pretty blue eyes at you. "—i'm able to teleport further and further now."

"so how long until we get to chiba?" you asked satoru.

"it's about an hour by subway."

you and satoru were sitting side by side in the subway car. you could hear the rubber wheels rolling against the tracks, the voices of people talking, and the sounds from a teenager's video game sitting across from you. as you leaned over to dig in your bag for your earphones, your hand accidentally brushed satoru's.

you murmured an apology, "sorry..."

satoru raised his eyebrow, leaning into you and whispering in your ear. "if you want to hold my hand, all you have to do is ask."

"i don't want to hold your hand, satoru." you lied.

you looked over at satoru's hand that rested on his left thigh. his fingers were slender, nails and cuticles trimmed neatly. they looked soft. you wished that you had the courage to hold his hand.

he grinned, shaking his head in disbelief. he loved your feistiness. he could never get you to flirt back with him to save his life, but he lived for your retorts.

you went back to untangling your earphones so that you could listen to your mp3 player. after a moment, you turned to him, holding out the other half of your earphones, "wanna listen?"

"before i take this, what kind of music do you listen to?" satoru jabbed at you, "you seem like you'd only listen to pretty boy idols."

you rolled your eyes at him, "i actually have a wide taste in music. right now i'm listening to american 80's. they're my dad's favorite songs."

you smiled at the memory of touya handing you a cd from your father’s large collection of music. he told you that your father was a huge 80's fan before his passing. you spent a majority of your childhood listening to your father’s collection growing up.

satoru took the earphone from you and stuck it in his ear. his stared off into the corner of the subway car.

"so what's this song called?" he asked you, genuinely curious. he wanted to get to know you more, so this was his way of trying.

"it's called 'nothing's gonna change my love for you' by george benson." you beamed, "the love songs were so great in the 80's."

"it's nice."

"you haven't even listened to the whole song yet." you giggled, "do you even know what it's about?"

satoru laughed, "obviously nothing getting in the way of this guy's love for his girl."

"ooh! let me show you another one of my favorites." you said excitedly, "it's called 'nothing compares 2 u' by prince! he wrote it in the 80's but sinead o'connor released it in the 90's..." you continued to ramble.

satoru heart melted at the way your face lit up while you showed him some of your favorite old school songs. he had no idea what the hell you were talking about, but your bright and animated smile drew him in. he couldn't not listen to you talk about your favorite things in the world. he wanted to know every little thing about you. he wanted to always be by your side so that you could tell him about anything that made you happy.

later that night: checking into the hotel

after the hour long subway ride, you and satoru walked to the daiwa roynet hotel so you could check-in for the night.

satoru held your backpack for you as you walked up to the front desk. the front desk employee greeted you. "hi! welcome to the daiwa roynet hotel. how can i help you?"

"hi! we have a reservation under (y/n) (l/n) or satoru gojo. jujutsu high school should've made the reservation."

the employee smiled and nodded as they looked up the reservation. they started to furrow their eyebrows. it looked like something was wrong.

"i'm sorry, miss. we tried to contact you about your hotel room reservation, but we couldn't reach anyone."

"what's wrong with the reservation?" you asked, confused.

"it was originally booked for two queen beds, but we only have rooms with one standard queen bed at the moment."

"that can't be right..." you panicked, "what phone number did you call?"

you looked at your phone to see if you got a missed call. no missed calls were in your log.

“satoru, did you get a phone call by any chance?" you called out to him. satoru walked up to the front desk to join you. he looked at his phone as well, seeing no missed calls either.

"we called this number," the hotel employee recited a number that wasn't yours or satoru's.

"it's yaga-sensei's phone number." satoru said as he recognized the number.

the hotel employee apologized, "i'm sorry. will one bed do? we can refund you the cost of the two beds. or we can give you two separate rooms."

"ummm—" you bit your lip in hesitation. you weren't sure what to say. even though you and satoru shared your bed last week, would it be okay for you two to do this again? should you get an separate room instead and ask for reimbursement from jujutsu high later?

"that's fine. we'll just take the single bed. no need to make a huge fuss out of it." satoru replied back to the hotel employee with a wink. the employee handed him the room key and bowed to the both of you, appreciating your understanding.

as satoru led the way to the hotel room, your face started to fill with worry. were you really supposed to share a bed with satoru tonight? you were already so embarrassed about what happened last week in your dorm room. how could this happen?

satoru stopped in front of the room, unlocking the door with the room key and opening the door to enter. there was the dreaded single queen sized bed, an arm chair in the corner, and a tv sitting on top of the large dresser. not only did you have to share a bed with satoru, you had to share a bathroom too?

'could this mission get any worse?' you thought to yourself.

"you can take the bed. i'll sleep in the arm chair." satoru said nonchalantly.

"are you sure? i can sleep in the chair. i'm smaller than you." you said. by a whole foot, to be exact.

satoru feigned chivalry, "my grams would kill me if i did such an un-gentlemanly thing."

"i'll have to thank your grandma one day." you said with a giggle. "you take the shower first then."

"don't gotta tell me twice." satoru sang. he loved hot showers. he would always fight for who would get to shower first back at the dorms. satoru set down both of your backpacks and dug for his clothes and toiletries.

*****************************

you sat in the arm chair that satoru was going to be sleeping on. it was uncomfortable and barely had any cushion. was he really going to sleep on this? you felt guiltier and guiltier the more you sat in this chair. you ordered extra pillows and blankets from room service in hopes that it would help provide some comfort for him tonight.

you spent time reading over the mission details, twirling your long black hair between your fingers. you heard the bathroom door open, steam flowing out of the bathroom. satoru stepped out, tousling his damp hair. he was wearing gym shorts and a t-shirt.

"your turn." he motioned for you to hit the shower.

you teased him, "i hope you didn't take all the hot water."

"i saved some for you, princess." he shot back with a grin.

you quickly grabbed your clothes and toiletries, closing the door behind you. back at the school, the community showers were separated by women and men. sitting outside this bathroom door was satoru gojo, and that made your heart race.

while you showered, you wondered what satoru was thinking about right now. you thought about the subway ride and how he listened to your father’s favorite songs with you. you thought about how you actually wanted to hold his hand, even though you lied and told him no. and lastly, you thought about your feelings for satoru... they were growing day by day. did he feel the same way about you?

after your shower, you blew dry your hair (it always took a long time since it was so long), did your skincare routine, and brushed your teeth. you changed into a baggy long sleeve shirt and pajama shorts. you flipped off the bathroom light, finding satoru curled up in the arm chair with the extra pillows and blankets you ordered for him. he was trying his best to sleep in the unbearably cramped chair that was clearly not made for men over six feet tall.

"goodnight, satoru." you said, climbing into the bed. you frowned while looking at him. your heart shattered at the poor sight.

"night, (y/n)." he replied, eyes closed, brows furrowed. he was clearly miserable.

*****************************

you tossed and turned for the last hour. you couldn't sleep. you watched satoru sleep in the arm chair—or tried to sleep in the arm chair. he had adjusted his freakishly tall body so that he could lay upright. he said he wanted to be a gentleman and let you sleep on the bed, but you still felt guilt-ridden.

“satoru.” you whispered his name. no answer came from him. you tried calling his name again, a little louder this time, “satoru gojo.”

he opened one eye, squinting at you with his arms folded against his chest. “what do you want, (y/n)? i'm trying to sleep.” he asked you, voice groggy and laced with a hint of annoyance.

kissing the back of your teeth, you got out of the bed and stomped over to him, grabbing his hand and pulling him off the chair towards you and the damn hotel bed. satoru raised his eyebrows.

“i like women who take the lead.” he joked while rubbing the sleepiness away from his face.

you shot him a glare, “shut up—i just feel bad that you’re sleeping on the chair when this bed can clearly fit two people…” you trailed off awkwardly, avoiding eye contact with him. you felt your cheeks turning cherry red, thankful that it was dark so that satoru couldn’t see your blushing face.

satoru smiled at you, his hand scratching the back of his undercut. you were still holding his hand—and honestly? he hoped that you wouldn't let go.

“just keep your hands to yourself this time.” you muttered as you quickly let go of his hand, still embarrassed from the events of last week. deep down, you secretly hoped he wouldn't listen to you.

he gave you his signature shit eating grin and saluted you, “yes ma’am.”

the next morning

your alarm rang at 7am. you and satoru had to be at the department store lot by 9am. 2 hours would give you enough time to get ready and grab breakfast downstairs.

you yawned as you turned into a bare, broad chest. your head resting on a strong right bicep. your eyes widened, your hand came up to cover your mouth. '

damn it, not again!', you cursed yourself.

"glad we were able to do this again." satoru greeted you in reference from his statement last week, his eyes still closed. he felt you wake up when you turned into his chest just moments ago.

"ugh, satoru gojo! what did i say about keeping your hands to yourself?!" you hissed at him.

"i kept my hands to myself. you're the one who cuddled up right next to me and then attempted to use my arm as a pillow. as a gentleman, i couldn’t not let you use my arm as a pillow." he sat up, dramatically rotating his arm from having its' circulation cut off. "ugh, i have dead arm now from your big head."

"hey, i don't have a big head!" you threw your pillow at him, only for it to hit his infinity.

satoru's frosty white bedhead caught your attention. it was so unfair how statuesque he looked in the mornings. you felt like you looked like a troll doll compared to him.

"do you always have to take off your shirt in the middle of the night? or do you only do this when you get a chance to sleep next to me?" you questioned him with a strong but sleepy glare from your emerald green eyes.

satoru slyly admitted, "it gets hot at night. especially when you're cuddling."

"i never asked you to cuddle me, so you didn't have to take off your shirt." you retorted.

"well, i don’t think i can ever sleep alone anymore. having a personal heater is nice, especially during the cold winter months.” satoru sarcastically teased. sleeping next to you was something he could definitely get used to, even if it wasn't cold.

you folded your arms and looked away from him, “well, you’re going to have to get used to sleeping alone again when we get back to jujutsu high. you’re not my boyfriend so you can't just sleep next to me whenever you want.”

satoru leaned in towards you, grabbing your arm. he asked in a lower tone, sending shivers down your spine, “can i be your boyfriend then?”

“no.” you quickly answered before flicking his forehead.

satoru winced and palmed his forehead, chuckling as he watched you get out of bed to dash to the bathroom in embarrassment.

EXTRA:

you were in your dorm room writing your post-mission report for yaga-sensei that was due in the morning, your pencil scribbling and scrabbling as you watched the snow fall outside your window. you were unknowingly tracing hearts on your paper.

you thought about how satoru always made you feel so shy ever since you came to jujutsu high. as a matter of fact, your heart never failed to race around him. you couldn’t tell if he liked you or not—or if he just flirted with every girl like that. you could feel your heart opening up to the white haired sorcerer with each passing moment you spent with him. this last mission didn't help either as you spent a close proximity with him at all times.

love. something you never thought you’d find here at jujutsu high, especially with satoru gojo. was love really possible between you and him? no way. satoru was... well—he was the satoru gojo. why would he want to be with someone like you? a sorcerer who couldn't even control her own powers, someone who could barely fight in close combat, someone so weak... you beat yourself up over your flaws, not knowing that somebody else might love you despite them.

you heard four knocks on your door. it was well past curfew, who would be knocking at your door this late? maybe shoko needed to borrow your pre-calculus notes? knowing her, she was usually up late studying.

you got up from your desk and tightened your robe. you opened your dorm room door to find satoru gojo standing in front of you—speak of the handsome devil.

“w-what are you doing here? it's past c-curfew.” you stammered, feeling a flush fill your cheeks. you didn't want satoru to know you were just thinking of him. he would never let you live it down.

he gave you a sheepish look, scratching the back of his head like he always did when he was nervous. “can i spend the night?”

you stared at him for a moment. was satoru gojo really asking to spend another night with you? he gave you his signature grin in hopes that you’d let him into your room—and maybe into your heart one day.

you rolled your pretty green eyes and sighed, “fine... only because it's cold tonight.”

you opened the door for him to enter your room. satoru snuck by you and quickly jumped onto your very comfortable king sized bed, getting under the covers before you changed your mind and kicked him out.

“—and keep your hands to yourself.” you reminded him again as you walked towards him.

“no promises, sweetheart.” he cheekily retorted as he laced his fingers with yours to pull you into your own bed. you plopped down next to him.

“want an arm pillow?” he asked softly. looking over to see your pretty face that he couldn’t stop thinking about. he’d gladly wake up with dead arm in the morning if that’s what it took to sleep next to you every night.

you shyly replied, “yes, please.”

satoru gave you his right arm as you snuggled up next to him, laying your head on his bicep. he curled his arm against your back and pressed you against his side. you could hear his heart beating rapidly. was it possible that he could hear yours too?

“(y/n)?” he called out your name, interrupting your sweet thoughts.

“yes, satoru?”

“do you like suguru more than me?”

you groaned, “god—satoru, go to sleep.”

he squeezed you tightly in hopes of hearing what he wanted you to say, “answer the question.”

“yes, i totally like suguru more than you.” you lied as you sighed in disbelief, “satoru, you’re literally sleeping right next to me for a third time since we met over a month ago. make it make sense, please.”

you could sense that satoru had his signature shit eating grin on his face. “alright, (y/n). just making sure.”

and in that moment, you thought that maybe love was possible with satoru gojo.

DIVIDERS PROVIDED BY @/ANLIAN-AISHANG

698 notes · View notes

nogenderbee · 1 month

Text

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ 𝕄𝕖𝕥𝕒𝕝𝕤𝕞𝕚𝕥𝕙 ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ anon request: Could I request Simeon, Barbatos, and Solomon with a metalsmith s/o?

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Yeah! Definitely! Honestly, I'm not fully satisfied with it but... I hope you're still gonna somehow like it?

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ fluff

✧ Barbatos is honestly surprised someone his young is still doing it, it's now rare to find a metalsmith so you must be really dedicated...

✧ back then, when metalsmiths were still common, he remembers helping and observing, learning how humans do it

✧ so now when he sees you, he'd love to see if the methods changed and maybe even push you towards right direction

✧ if you're simply using new methods, he'd be more than happy to learn or understand them better

✧ but if you're new to this, he won't interrupt your learning process but he might point out few basic mistakes so you won't adapt them later on

✧ if you're a woman, he'll be even more impressed, it's not often you meet female metalsmith so his theory that you're passionate about this, only confirms more

✧ even if you're not working as metalsmith and do it just as a hobby, he'll still support you

"Few years ago your earn thousands by doing this everyday... well yes, it is couple hundreds but for me there's little difference."

✧ and if you have your shop of any kind, he'll be happy to assist you and help you out, mostly in the cleaning process since he doesn't want to accidentally mess up your vision but still wants to somehow help

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

✧ Simeon has big respect towards what you're doing, he know it's not easy nor is it profitable nowadays

✧ if you'll want to, he'll be happy to tell you how this profession was doing in the past but he doesn't want to demotivate you either so he might keep it brief

✧ if it's your job, he'll often remind you how rare it is and try to motivate you so you won't burn out

✧ but if you're doing this because it's your hobby , he'll of course still do his best to motivate you but also takes it a bit easier as he realizes you must have some passion for it if you call it your hohby

✧ he definitely knows more about this than technology so you can actually count on his help here!

✧ if you want him to help with metal, he gladly will do his best to take some weight off your shoulders

✧ but if you just need someone to clean, he'll be happy to do that too and knows he won't mess up here so he's much more confident!

"Don't worry. You can finish your swords, I'll take care of cleaning. Oh and also, would you like to eat something? It was about 6 hours since you had something... I'd be happy to cook something for you."

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@vodka-glrl - come get your soft angel~

✧ Solomon somehow have that feeling you'll be into stuff like that, it was like his intuition just told him the right thing

✧ he's happy to see you're doing something so important and so rare

✧ he can't keep his hands to himself, he'll touch every sword or anything you make and inspect it. But he at least gives compliments while doing so!

"Wow... this sword is great! You really did it by hand? I'm surprised it hasn't been sold yet... if someone won't take it, I might as well do so!"

✧ if you're doing this just for works sake, he'll try to show you all the positives of what you're doing and hopefully you can start enjoying your job as well

✧ but if you're doing this we hobby, prepare he'll often drop his ideas to you and watch what you'll do with them

✧ he's really just hanging out around you and being your mental support as he peeks into every corner

✧ and he probably knows a lot about metalsmith work too but he decides to keep it a secret and pretend to learn from you, because he just loves seeing how much you know about it and your passion for it

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

85 notes · View notes

kimbap-r0ll · 8 months

Note

Thought up another one!

this one is illumi,

illumi realizing he’s in love but there is internal conflict within himself not just due to his family but his own emotions and thought if he can even bring balances / if he was what you want. A lil Angst and comfort? You can change it around and everything if ya want I don’t mind. I just like givin prompts lol. And if you’ve done illumi for a similar request or exact same can you do meruem , shalnark or Franklin if you write any of them.

Ooh, I have no idea if I had a similar request because I wrote so much and forgot to update my masterlist haha! However, I'll just write some for all of the characters because why not. Thank you for the request!

Illumi, Shalnark, Franklin, Meruem — Internal Conflict about love

Illumi

Unless you were arranged to marry him, he will be in a serious conflict with himself. Sure, the Zoldycks need a good heir, but Illumi knows himself that he's not meant for the title of Zoldyck head. Because of this, he probably has a bad thought that he shouldn't have interest in a love interest or *gasp* marriage. However, here he is wondering why his heart beats when you talk to him, why he can't see you getting hurt (unless it's training but :/)

I feel like, in a horrible sense, his first instinct is to try and kill you. If you're gone that means he won't have to go through the hurdles he has every night thinking about you. But he can't bring himself to do it. If it gets to the point he can't bear it, he might go through with it

He won't dare bring it up to his mother or father, but if his grandfather realize something's up he might have to talk to him. Zeno is definitely the more chill guy in the family, which means Illumi might be able to convince you to join the Zoldycks if you weren't invited already. The hardest obstacle would be Kikyo, but that's for later

Overall I feel like you would be able to see the internal conflict more than he would like to admit. He's staring at you for really long (concerningly long) times, he talks to you even harsher than before, etc. If you want to live, either cut ties with him or try to convince him love isn't a bad thing

Shalnark

I feel like he doesn't actually mind love that much, he just gets conflicted if you're a civilian or if you're someone he targeted originally. Think enemies to lovers

He would also try to murder you :/ but he might consult Chrollo first. Shalnark will never tell anyone about his crush, especially Feitan or Phinks. However, Chrollo is a mediator for the team and ultimately the only person in the troupe that probably knows what romance is (but it's only from books haha). This means you might be saved by Chrollo's recommendation to Shalnark that love isn't bad

Shalnark will be frank with you on his occupation as a world-renowned criminal. He doesn't want you to fall in love with someone who isn't him, and he wants to give you one more chance before he wants you to be his. If you leave, that means he'll just go on with his daily life. However, if you decide to stay, he might force you to move to Meteor City for "your safety"

You'll not be able to tell he's conflicted because of how he's just so good at hiding emotions. He's smiling, laughing as he usually does. However, something's off. You can tell he's watching you more intently than before while you're back is turned, almost like he's debating throwing a needle in your head.

Franklin

He's honestly also super chill about love, like it's hard to find him conflicted. However, the only time he would be conflicted would be if he found out you're just a regular civilian who could be subject to unneeded visitors from the Hunter Association or the mafia. He doesn't want to see you get hurt

Won't resort to violence! He'll sit down and talk to himself before talking to Chrollo about the matter. Similar to Shalnark's logic, Chrollo's the counselor and leader of the team. He wants to know if he should tell you about his feelings or if it's better for your well-being to not say anything.

Franklin eventually tells you. He tells you in a secluded and quiet environment just what he really does. He tells you he understands if you disagree with him, if you want to run away and tell the police (though this means he might have to resort to violence), but in the end he wants you to be safe. If you leave, that'll be the end of you two's relationship. If you stay, he'll be grateful and tell you he'll always make sure you're safe.

You could probably tell he liked you and had this internal conflict. He started to blush more and he would be quiet around you more than he did before. If you ask him before his big reveal, he'll originally deny these feelings

Meruem

Assuming you're Komugi, he goes through the entire Chimera Ant Arc and doesn't tell you until you two are literally dying :/

However! If you aren't the gungi genius then how this starts might've been similar. Meruem might've had you explain some human concepts to him or maybe he kept you around because it seemed like you had potential for something the ants would need. Nonetheless, his feelings were pure accident.

This leads to him having a conflict that all the rest of the royal guards can see. Pitou won't really mind the king's sudden interest in you, though Pitou might feel it's a little strange how such a weak person like you stayed alive for more than a few hours next to Meruem. Then there's Youpi, who could care less about who the king likes. This guy thinks as long as you aren't a threat to the king's power, no worries. The issue is Pouf. He'll try to convince Meruem you're worthless and whenever Meruem goes through the "should-I-kill-y/n" Pouf will advocate for your death :/. Meruem finds himself never following through this though, so at some point he just stops asking out loud

You will see the conflict in real time, also hear from him about his emotions. He doesn't actually tell you he loves you since he doesn't really know what "love" means. He'll tell you what he's feeling, and then tell you with no corners cut that sometimes he feels like he should kill you (seriously what is with these ants). Give him some time, he'll learn eventually that he's going through a crush and nothing that will kill him (until Netero happens but -_-)

#hxh #hunter x hunter #hxh x reader #hxh headcanons #illumi #illumi x reader #shalnark #shalnark x reader #franklin #franklin x reader #meruem #meruem x reader #illumi headcanons #shalnark headcanons #franklin headcanons #meruem headcanons #ask box

275 notes · View notes

swiftsdelucaa · 1 year

Note

Can I please have an imagine where the reader is dating Addison Montgomery and they decide that they want to try for a baby via sperm donor. Fast forward a few months and the reader finds out she’s pregnant. When she tells Addison she is over the moon. She kisses the reader and ends up proposing to her. Another fast forward and they end up having a baby boy. Fluffy please?

❛ 𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒕'𝒔 𝒖𝒔 ❜

𝙋𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: Addison Montgomery x f!reader ♡

𝘼/𝙣: So sorry for the wait, I wasn't feeling good :( But I hope you'll like it!

What's more beautiful than being with someone you like? It's hard to say. You and Addison looked so good together and you both recently decided to try for a baby. Both you and her were thrilled with this choice and were looking forward to nothing more than to have a family.

Since Addison had little chance of getting pregnant, everything was staked on you, the idea of carrying your child made you even more proud and eager to become a mother.

You started with a few donations, choosing a decent donor was as hard as fun, but unfortunately you weren't immediately lucky. You were both doctors, you knew it would take time, so you didn't let yourself be discouraged. Let's say that after other unsuccessful attempts, your enthusiasm gradually vanished, but Addison had that energy that she was able to transmit to you continuously, so you continued to believe it. God, how much you loved her.

Finally, just when you didn't expect it, it happened. You were pregnant. The answer to the test was more than clear, you must have watched it at least a dozen times before realizing it. You couldn't wait to tell her, you were so happy, her reaction would surely be double yours. And to surprise her by venting all your happiness, you have prepared an excellent dinner.

Addison returned about two hours later, it seemed more for you. She followed the delicious smell coming from the room where you were, welcoming you with a warm smile and giving you a light kiss on your lips.

"Wow, I'm so hungry" she said as you turned to her. "Hey, what's up?" she asked you having noticed your particular happiness.

"Addison Forbes Montgomery" you took her hands, making her feel more curious. "You have no idea how much I'll love you seeing you with our baby" her face lit up, she was probably still reworking. You placed her hands on your belly.

"You- you're pregnant?" her smile became the most beautiful thing for you in that moment.

"Yeah!" you exclaimed, unable to hold back your tears.

"Oh my God Y/n!" she kissed you intensely, then stopping everything to say something.

"Y/n L/n, you'll make me the happiest person giving me a baby and becoming my wife" she looked at your eyes, her words looked so serious and full of love. At that point the tears increased, you didn't know if for the hormones you had taken or for the inexplicable happiness, maybe for both. You began to sob laughing, unable to control yourself.

"Yes, yes, yes!!! I'd love to become your wife" you kissed her again, this time longer than before.

So the wedding and the baby have been the only priority to you in this period. Both had decided that the wedding would be after the baby's birth, also because you didn't want to seem an awful monster on the best day of your life.

For the baby you had done every possible exam, you wanted a beautiful healthy baby, and you'd do everything to make it sure. The funniest thing was that, well, barring your stupid hormones and weird cravings for food that no one would ever eat, you couldn't agree on just one name, you might even have combined all possibilities at the cost of pleasing both. He was a baby boy, and she'd liked to call him Henry, but you liked Jess more. So... Jenry...? For a while you thought that was better to stop thinking about it, at the sight of the baby it was hoped that the name would be chosen immediately.

When you was in labor she was in surgery, trying to save another baby. Let's say it, you were very stubborn, you would even have been able to stop labor with all your might just to have Addison with you.

"Where the fuck is the girl who's gonna be my wife?! I want her here!" you were yelling at anyone trying to calm you down, then Addison finally caught up with you and you began to realize the situation better.

"We're meeting our son, oh my God Y/n it's awesome, I love you so much!" she squeezed your hand as you screamed in pain between the thrusts.

"No, it's not-" you tried to tell her referring to the 'beautiful' experience you were passing at that moment.

When you were finally able to hug your son you did nothing but look at him laughing with tears in your eyes, you didn't believe that such a beautiful thing could grow inside you.

"Ryle" you said. "He's name is Ryle" you looked at Addison and then turned towards the cute baby boy you held.

"Yeah, Ryle. It's perfect" she kissed your forehead and gently stroked the baby's cheek.

In these two months Ryle had already grown a lot, he was becoming more and more adorable. Well, during your wedding ceremony he cried and screamed almost all the time, but somehow it made it special.

As soon as he was with either of you he calmed down, and there were no words to describe that feeling, where the son recognizes his own mother. But you can say you're proud of everything, of you, of Addison, of Ryle, of all of you together.

#addison montgomery #addison montgomery x reader #addison montgomery imagine #greys anatomy #grey's anatomy #greys anatomy x reader #greys anatomy imagine #y/n #fanfics #my writing #requests

286 notes · View notes

kattze · 1 month

Text

PT.2 GHOST X GN READER SLOW BURN

Please tell me if there's any mistake it would be the greatest. Also sorry it took a while to post. I got real lazy hahahhah.

I unpacked my belongings, and let out a sigh of relief. I look at the clock. “Christ lunch already? Good, I'm starving.” I quickly make my way towards the lunch hall. Everyone is sitting and joking around with their friends. Suddenly, someone with a mohawk makes his way towards me.

"You, the new recruit, ain't you'?" He smiles as he pats my shoulder, like he's greeting an old friend.

"Yeah, I guess I am, huh?” I smiled back at him and let out a small chuckle at his Scottish accent.

“John Macktavish, but you can call me Soap! Follow me; I'll introduce you to Gaz!” He starts walking away and leads me to a table with someone else sitting there, which I assume is Gaz.

“Gaz,” Soap speeds up his walking. “Look at the new recruit!” He gestures towards me as I finally catch up to him.

“Hello…I guess.” I wave and shrug awkwardly.

“Hi, Kyle Garrick, call me Gaz.” He waves back.

“Alright, Gaz.” I say

Soap sits down and pats the spot next to him. "Well, I'm sure you've met Ghost.”

“I have…he's..” Before I respond, Soap cuts me off.

“Let me guess, broody?” He says in a matter-of-fact way, followed by a laugh.

I laugh at his words, “Right on the money!”

“He's not heartless; you just have to wait for him to warm up, ain't that right, Gaz?” He looks toward his friend for approval.

“You're making him seem like some snake,” he replies back, “but yeah, he's not too bad to be around.” He shakes his head as he talks.

"Hmph, I'll say he called me a ‘twat when I first saw him." I laugh remembering the insult. Gaz and Soap laugh at the comment as well.

Gaz speaks up. “You'll get used to him, trust me, you'll be fine.”

“You sure? I won't be surprised if he kills me or something.” I shake my head and chuckle.

"Noooo, I'm sure you'll actually be his favorite. Just watch and wait.” Soap pats my back. “I'm sure you'll get along well!” Suddenly, heavy footsteps approach, and we all look behind us to find Ghost walking towards us.

“Who's favorite?” Ghost asks with a glare.

"Nothing, LT, just getting to know the new recruit.” Soap shrugs as he starts eating his meal, which is when I realize I never grabbed my damn food.

"Shit, I forgot my food.” I sigh and stand up. “I'll be back. I need to grab a meal.”

I hear Ghost scoff before mumbling “dumbass.” under his breath. (Bastard fr) I grab my meal and return to the table. Ghost barely acknowledges me, and I don't pay him any attention either. Later in the day, training starts, and it feels like hell.

“Holy shit I'm going to die, aren't I?” I grumble and wipe my forehead, and sweat basically covers my whole body.

“Don't know what Price saw in you if you can barely handle a basic workout.” I hear a voice from behind. I turn around, and I am met with Ghost.

I glared daggers at him before responding, “who knows?” I shrug my shoulders and continue to workout. I can feel Ghost stare at me like he's trying to kill me. I'd probably be dead if looks could actually kill. Hours later, when the workout finally ends, I head to the shower room. As I leave the shower room, I pass by Price's office, and I hear a few voices. I decided to be nosey and listen for a little.

I hear Ghost's voice talking to Price, and I make out some words: “Why do we need someone like them? They can barely handle the workout.” His voice is sharp, and he sounds pissed.

Price responds calmly, like he's already been through this multiple times. “They're a great asset to have, and trust me, you'll warm up to them soon.”

“Doubt that,” I hear Ghost scoff, “they're just dead weight at this point.” I roll my eyes as I hear Ghost complain, and I assume he's complaining about me.

I start walking back to the barracks and decide it's better to just ignore Ghost and decide to hopefully one day get on his good side. "Ugh, I'm not going to last,” I say as I lay down on my cot. I rub my eyes and decide it's better to get rest rather than think about stupid things.

~~next day~~

I wake up to the annoying alarm and quickly turn it off. I stretch my arms, popping my joints. “Wow, what a beautiful morning.” I say to myself sarcastically as I get up and prepare for breakfast. I make it to the lunch hall, and Soap waves me over to sit with him, Gaz, Price, and Ghost. I sit down next to Gaz, and he passes me a breakfast tray he saved for me. “Thanks Gaz.”

“No problem, C/N,” he says with a smile.

Price speaks up. “so? How is the base? Up to your standards?” He said in a joking tone.

“It's more than I expected.” I laugh. I notice Ghost is still quiet and cold as ever. I turn to look at him. “Had a good sleep?”

He glares before answering, "It would be better if you weren't here.”

I put my hand up to show my innocence: “no need for the hostility.”

Soap looks at Ghost and chuckles, “Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.” He laughs trying to lighten the mood.

“Shut it, Johnny.” He says sternly.

“Just sayin,” he responds with a smirk.

~~Time skip to the afternoon~~~ (wow I'm so good at this/jk)

After breakfast, I head to the shooting range and practice my shots. After a couple of hours, I decided to leave the shooting range and do something else. As I start to clean up and pack my belongings, Ghost approaches me.

“Price wants us for a meeting in 5 minutes.” He says sternly before turning and walking away.

“Yes sir.” I mumble. I finish packing and cleaning up and head to the meeting room. Ghost, Soap, Gaz, Price, and a woman who looks like she's ready to tell us some life-changing shit.

“Nice to meet you, y/n l/n; I'm Laswell.” She gives a slight smile.

“Nice to meet you too.” I respond back quickly and come to the conclusion that she's probably the head of the 141 team.

"Well, let's get to the point. There's a mission you guys need to do to gather some valuable Intel. It is very important that it goes perfectly, so Ghost and C/N will be paired while the others provide support. I expect the utmost best on this mission." She looks around, making sure everyone understands the importance of the mission.

"Yes, ma'am,” everyone replies in unison.

“I'll be in contact.” She says and quickly leaves. She seems to be very busy.

Price speaks before anyone can say anything: “You guys heard her. We'll leave for the mission tomorrow at 0100 hours. I expect everyone to be ready. You'll have the rest of the day to rest up and prepare.”

“Yes sir.”

~2330~~

Everyone is in the meeting room, discussing the mission. I look at everyone. 'Hopefully I won't die’ I think to myself. Ghost suddenly spoke, snapping me out of my thoughts. “you sure they're ready? They're already daydreaming.” Ghost voice is teasing, and it's pissing me off.

“At least I have an imagination.” I say without thinking, and everyone stares at me in surprise. “Oops…sorry…” I try to avoid everyone's eyes.

Ghost rolls his eyes as Price speaks, “Just get along and don't fuck up this mission or your arses will be the ones to blame, got that?”

“Yes sir.” Me and Ghost respond. I see Soap and Gaz laughing at us. It finally reached 0100 hours, and we all got into the helicopter. We arrive on the mission, and we hide in the forest, waiting for an opportunity to get inside.

“Don't forget you two; don't screw up." Price glares at us, making sure we get the message.

He sends us into the building, and I stay close behind Ghost. We hid around the building, awaiting the signal to continue. I look at Ghost before speaking. “Why are you such an ass?”

Ghost stares at me before responding, “why are you such an annoying prick? Hmm?” He rolls his eyes as we finally get the signal to continue.

“Christ…” I scoff. We make our way through the building, hiding and killing people if they pose a threat. Suddenly, an enemy soldier runs towards Ghost and attempts to stab him before he could stab Ghost. I shot him in the heart. “Are you okay?” I ask Ghost

“The greatest I've ever been.” He answers without acknowledging that I just saved his arse. I roll my eyes, and we finally arrive where the Intel is stored. “Grab the Intel c/n I'll keep a lookout.” He says sternly as he gets ready to fight, just in case.

“Alright…” I quickly grab the Intel and gather it into a vanilla folder. "Okay, let's go!” Ghost leads the way, and we make it back to the others.

“You guys get along?” Soap asks as he elbows Ghost in a joking manner.

“Good enough.” He says as we all start walking back to the exfile location.

~~back at base~~

I take a shower in warm water, and the feeling makes me sigh in relief. I finish the needed shower and make my way to the mess hall. I look in the fridge and notice a tray with a note stuck to it; it reads, ‘didn't want to leave you starve, so saved some food- Soap :).’ I chuckle at Soap's smiley face. I heat it up and sit down at a table. I start eating my food peacefully, and I hear heavy footsteps walking towards me. I look up and see Ghost without saying a word. He sits next to me.

“Thanks for saving my arse.” Ghost eyes meet mine as I smile.

“No problem.” Before I could continue talking, Ghost interrupts me.

“Starting’ to think you aren't such a pain in the ass.” He then quickly gets up before I could fully process what he said.

“Wait what…” I groan in annoyance, “Christ…” I finished my food and made my way back to the barracks. As I approach my cot, I see a candy bar on my pillow. I grab it “it's probably from soap…hmph.” I eat it before quickly settling in for bed.

#cod mw2 #ghost x gn reader #ghost x reader #ghost x you #im lazy #simon ghost riley #ghost x male reader #ghost x y/n #ghost x female reader #ghost x f!reader #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #simon ghost x reader

40 notes · View notes

aaronhotchswife · 10 months

Text

BABYSITTING AT HOTCH'S

A/N : This one shot is settled in season 7 (because even if every seasons Hotch does something to me, this one is🧎🏻‍♀️) and even if I absolutely ADORE Beth, for the purpose of the story she's not in a relationship with Aaron 🫶🏼

TW : smut, dom Hotch/sub reader, chocking, a nal fingering, unprotected sex (pls be careful)

-------

"No, it's alright. I'll find someone. Yes, thank you. Have a good evening too."

Aaron hung up the phone, sighing.

"Everything ok Hotch ?" you asked, as you enter his office.

"Ah yes. I have a meeting for budget tonight and Jess can't babysit Jack so I need to find someone. Don't worry about that. What's going on ?"

"I have these files for you." you responded, hanging him the files. "You know, if it could help you, I can watch Jack tonight."

"I can't let you do that. It's Friday night, you probably have plans."

"C'mon Hotch. You know how Jack and I like each other. And even if I am a woman in my 20s, everything Friday nights I just want to go home and watch Netflix, especially with the weeks we have." you laughed slightly.

"I get that." he chuckled. "Are you sure ? I mean, I would like that but I don't want you to feel obligated."

"I would be happy to help." you said to him, a soft smile on your lips.

"It's settled then. Do you think you could go pick him up at school ? I'll call them to let him know."

"No problem, sir."

You knew Jack since a couple years now. He always liked you and everytime he went to the BAU he was always happy to draw at your desk and your drawer was filled with his masterpieces. It was nice to hang out with him, talking about his school drama and honestly spending a friday night with a kid was in your opinion, a lot better than spending it with Tinder dates. So spending your Friday night with him wasn't a chore at all.

-------

"Hey Jack! You know that your Dad's triathlon is soon right ? What would you think if we make him signs ?" you told Jack, while he was washing his hands.

"Oh yes!!! It's such a good idea !"

"Great! Where do you guys keep the crafting stuff?"

Jack took your hand and showed you a drawer in his bedroom with colored pencils and glitters and all. You took all that you guys going to need and walked downstairs to the kitchen. You spend most of the night helping Jack creating his banner, only stopping to cook dinner. He helped you cleaning the kitchen before taking his bath and asking you for a bedtime story.

"And they lived happily ever after." you read softly, before closing the book.

Jack was peacefully sleeping, still holding onto your arm. You left a sweet kiss of his forehead, wishing him good night before going downstairs to wait for Hotch.

-------

When Aaron came home later that night, he walked to the living room where he found you asleep on the couch, a blanket draped to your body, hair in your face, Before he could stop himself, his eyes trailed the expanse of skin that you’d left exposed. He never realized how beautiful you look, especially in that dimed light, so peacefully sleeping. He tried to do as little noise as possible as he walked towards you, replacing your hair behind your ear. He decided to go look on Jack, telling himself he'll wake you up after. He was sleeping serenely, his Star Wars night light illuminating the room. He wished him a good night buddy before closing the door. When Aaron saw you again, you were in the same position, breathing evenly. He tried whispering your name but nothing could make you move. Not knowing what got into him, he took you bridal style in his arms, carefully, for you to not wake up and he walked towards to guest bedroom, where you'll be a lot more comfortable. He didn't want to wake you up, sleep was important especially with your job and you look so peaceful that waking you up was not a option. In the guest bedroom, he tucked you in, hesitating before leaving a light kiss on your forehead and wished you good night, before closing the door. He suprised himself with a feeling in his stomach from the way you were laid in one of his bed, beautifully sleeping.

You woke up the next morning in a room you didn't know. With the smell of the bed sheets, you realize you probably fell asleep at Hotch's house but the fact the you're in a bed is something you can't remember. You got up, streching your arms and yawning before going downstairs to the kitchen. You see Jack watching cartoons and Aaron in the kitchen, making coffee.

"Good morning." you said, shyly.

"Hey, good morning. I'm sorry, you fell asleep on the couch and I didn't want to wake you up, so I put you in the bed instead. For you to be more comfortable you know...Hope it was ok." he responded timidly.

"Oh. Yeah, yeah. Sorry I didn't want to fell asleep. Rough week." you chuckled, a bit suprised by his answer. "How was your meeting ?"

"Well, you know how the superiors are." he said, smiling softly. "Want coffee?"

"Yes please, that would be great."

"There you go." he grins, handing you a cup of coffee. You smiled, taking your first sip. "So Jack wants pancake for breakfast, do you want to eat with us ? I mean it's Saturday, we don't have work to do...yet." he tells you.

You were a bit taken aback by his proposition. Not that you didn't want to eat with them but eating breakfast at your boss's house seemed like a weird idea. But it was Saturday and pancakes couldn't hurt and you kinda wanted to spend more time with him.

The three of you sat at the table, Jack speaking about what he wanted to do today. The weather wasn't really on your side, rain falling hard outside. It was a bit too domestic for you to be sitting at the table with your hot boss and his child. But you didn't know that Aaron felt the same. You seemed to noticed that he looked more relaxed when Jack is there, his usual frown on his face not visible, making jokes and being all paternal. It was weird seeing him like that. Of course you see Jack often but it's always at work so you never had the chance to see him really being a father.

"Dad, can we watch a movie today ?" Jack asked, his mouth full of pancakes.

"Of course buddy, what would you wanna watch?"

"Mmmh, The Little Mermaid ! Can Y/N watch it with us dad ?"

You almost chocked on your sip when you heard Jack asking that. Hotch seemed clearly taken aback with his demand as you.

"Well, if she wants, I mean, do you want to ?" Hotch asks, looking at you.

"Well, The Little Mermaid was one of my favourite movie when I was younger so why not. As long as I'm not interrupting."

"It was ?!" Jack asked, amazed. "Dad looks like Prince Eric don't you think?"

"Hahaha, yeah I can see it." you responded, looking at Aaron, his cheeks getting red.

After breakfast you help Hotch cleaning the kitchen while Jack was playing Lego, waiting for the two of you to be ready for the movie. The thunder outside made the ambiance cozy as you sat on the sofa. Aaron joined, sitting next to Jack who was happy to cuddle his father.

Even if you loved The Little Mermaid and knew the movie by heart, watching movies during the day wasn't really doing it for you. Especially after eating, the chances of you falling asleep were high. Hotch seemed to notice that as you fell asleep right on his shoulder. He didn't dare to move, you looking too cute your head on his shoulder.

"Y/N." Aaron murmured, shaking you a little. "The movie's over."

"Aaron." you said, sleepily.

The use of his first name was unusual for you. Always calling him Hotch or sir or boss, but never Aaron. The feeling he had in his stomach the night before was back and he couldn't push it away.

"Where's Jack?"

"JJ's house. Henri called for a playdate." Hotch answered, his eyes in yours.

He couldn't help but look at you, all shy on his sofa. Your cheeks getting red, your eyes in his and slowly looking down to his lips. You always knew he was beautiful, always looking at him at work, at his features. But you never knew he looked that beautiful, dressing normally, in his living room, so close one another. Before you knew it, your lips were on his, tasting the sweet taste of pancakes and the dry taste of his coffee. The kiss was soft, rather inquisitive, both of your lips learning each others. When you both back off to take a breath, you gazed up at him, flustered, a small shy smile on your lips.

"You are so pretty." Aaron murmured, his forehead on yours.

"So are you." you said chuckling a little.

He chuckled slightly, not believing he was kissing you, leaving a couple of kisses on your forehead, down to your jaw before going back to your mouth. The kiss was more heated and his hands quickly found their way to your hips, pressing them slightly. This action made a moan come out your mouth and Aaron couldn't help himself from bitting your lower lips.

"Come here." he murmured, pointing his lap.

You did as asked, grinding yourself on him, feeling him getting hard. His mouth moved to your neck, nibbling on your sweet spot near your ear.

"Want to continue this in the bedroom ? I mean, if you want of course." he asked, his lips on your ear.

You follow him in his bedroom, anticipating what's going to happen. Hotch pushed you gently on the bed before hovering you, his lips on your jaw and his hands on your hips. Grinding himself a little on you, he moved his mouth to your collarbone, sucking on your skin. Your hands found their way on his back, tucking on his shirt to take it off.

"Do you really want to do this?" he asked, his eyes in yours.

"I do. Please."

"How do you wanna do it ?"

"I want you to do everything you want to me Aaron."

His hand went between your legs, grabbing the place where you wanted him the most. You could feel yourself being wet, cyprine making it's way to your thighs. He helped you take off his shirt and yours, his eyes going down on your breast covered in your lace emerald bra. Your chest was raising up and down, your hands cupping his face. Aaron kept his eyes in yours before kissing down your chest, unclipping your bra, moving his lips to the hem of your jeans. He looked at you, as if he was asking for permission. You nodded slightly, wanting him to put his mouth down there already.

"Words baby."

"Yes please Aaron."

He took off your pants, kissing your stomach before kissing down your thighs, pushing them apart slowly. He left a kiss on your panties, your respiration becoming more and more rapid. He pulled your panties aside, licking a long strip from your folds. You moaned, hands gripping his hair. He then placed his lips against your folds, nibbling against your clit. He pushed one finger in, then two, your hips rocking against his mouth, wanting more. Sucking your clit, he lifted your legs on his shoulders, weighting your torso down on the bed with one hand on your lower stomach. Your moans were becoming more and more loud and you knew you would be cumming soon. Aaron knew it too because his mouth left your core to leave small kisses near your hips.

"On your knees." he ordered.

You did as asked, unzipping his pants before taking off his boxers. You told yourself he was big but not that big. You gasp in suprise, making Aaron chuckled.

"What's going on sweetheart ? Too big for you ? You're gonna open your mouth and make it fit like a good girl."

You nodded, approaching your lips to his member but he stopped yourself, tucking of your hair.

"When I speak I want an answer. Are you gonna suck my dick like a good girl?"

"Yes."

"Yes who?" he asked, his hands putting your hair in a make shift ponytail.

"Yes sir."

You kissed his balls, moving your lips to his member, keeping eye contact with him. You sucked on his head before taking him all in your mouth, his head going deep into your throat making you gag. He pushed your head slightly, making back and forth movements. Salive coming out your mouth, your mascara running down your cheeks.

"Fuck. You look so pretty on your knees for me. I'm gonna cum and you're gonna swallow everything alright ?"

You took his dick out of your mouth to answer him, crying a yes sir before taking him back in your mouth. His respiration was twitching and you could hear him groaned, his cock twitching in your mouth. A hot substance making it's way down your throat. You stuck your tongue out to proved to him that you swallowed everything.

"Go on the bed, on your hands and knees."

Positioning yourself on all four, you almost screamed when his hand slapped your ass, hearing Aaron chuckled at your reaction. His fingers runned down your pussy, his mouth finding it's way between your folds again. You couldn't help but moaned, the sensation being too good.

"I want to put my mouth and my fingers everywhere, in all your holes. Would you be okay with that?" he asked, fingers in your pussy.

"Yes sir."

Without you saying more, he put his tongue on your asshole, licking it.

"Gonna make it nice and ready for my thumb, right sweetheart ?"

You couldn't talk, only responding by a moan. The feeling of his tongue down there was so good, better than anything you had before. You felt his thumb running near your asshole before entering you. You couldn't help but make a muffled pleasure scream, rocking your ass on his finger. His thumb in your ass and his tongue in your pussy was a combination you could only dreamed about.

"Mmmh, you taste so good, like I imagined it."

This did it for you, hearing him say he imagined doing these things to you. Before you knew it, you came on in mouth and fingers.

"Oh my baby made a mess. She will help cleaning that right ?" he said, his fingers on your lips making you open your mouth to suck on his fingers. He kissed you, his tongue fighting for dominance. His lips moved to your ear, murmuring sweet things to you.

"I'll fuck you good baby, and you're gonna take all of me in you. I'll fuck you until you become a mess in your boss's bed."

His hands reached your ass, spreading your thighs slightly before pushing himself in you. He was so big and you let out a cry. His fingers brushed your hair, letting you time to adjust yourself to his size. He kissed your ear, before thrusting slowly.

"Is this alright love ? I'm not too rough on you ?" he murmured in your ear.

The way he was dominating but at the same thing caring for you to feel safe was something that could create butterflies in your stomach.

"It's good Aaron. You make me feel so good, I promise."

You heard his chuckled slighty, still thrusting slowly into you.

"Harder."

"Beg for it."

"Please sir, I need you to fuck me harder please."

He didn't need more than that for him to thrust harder, his balls punching against your pussy. Both of your were moaning and your moans became louder when his fingers found their way to your clit, pinching it. His thrust were becoming sloppier each time and the familiar knot in your stomach was back.

"I'm gonna fill you up." you heard him say, one of his hand grabbing your throat, squeezing it softly. His other hand grabbed your nipple, pinching it. Your fingers found their way to your clit, finishing the job he first started. A few moments later, you felt the hot substance in your core, cumming at the same time.

Aaron fell next to you, his hand tracing little circles on your shoulders.

"Thank you for that." you looked up to him, shyly.

The confidence you had during your sexy moment was now gone and you couldn't help but feel shy, even if he just fucked the hell out of you.

"I've been dreaming of doing that for a long time." he smiled, his fingers brushing your hair behing your ear.

"What does that mean for us ?"

"What do you mean?" he frowned.

"Well at work...and in real life."

"Well, at work we could sign some papers but for starters what would you say if I asked you out on a date first ?"

You blushed, kissing his nose before agreeing.

"But first I want another round, soft this time." you murmured.

#aaron hotch hotchner #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner x you #criminal minds smut #thomas gibson #hotch x you #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner fluff #aaron hotch imagine #aaron hotchner smut

172 notes · View notes

ddejavvu · 1 year

Note

Multiverse Monday with pervy stepdad Hotch confronting his step daughter of like asking her about any boys she likes and she's embarrassed and red

today is multiverse monday! send me any au you can think of :)

this post is 18+ and dark, minors dni.

"Sooo," Penelope's voice holds excitement you know spells doom for you, "Anything happening in Boy Town, Miss Y/N?"

"Boy town," You snort, "No, I, uh- I don't really meet a lot of people? I'm sort of just socially stagnant right now."

You hope it's a good enough cover up. The truth is, you haven't tried to meet anyone lately. In fact, you've probably gone out less in the months since your mom met Aaron than you ever have in your life. You're not sure if it's doing anything, and you're a little embarrassed to admit it to even yourself, but you're scared of losing whatever shot you might have with him, so you don't dare get involved with anyone else.

"Come on," Emily scoffs, "No one? No cute college boys in your classes? Not even a celebrity you've got a little crush on?"

"Even I have little celebrity crushes," JJ admits, and you chuckle at the way Will's eyes widen momentarily. You know what they'll be discussing later.

"I dunno," You shrug, picking at your nails, "It's just not a concern of mine right now, I guess. I'll find someone, eventually."

"You've found someone," Aaron murmurs, and all eyes turn to him, including your own slightly panicked ones.

"Oh? You know something, boss man?" Derek raises an eyebrow, and your heart begins to pound.

"I've heard you talking to your friends before," Aaron presses on, and you feel like you can't breathe suddenly, "You're at least interested in someone, whether he likes you back or not."

You know what he's heard. You're slightly lax about discussing your pathetically inappropriate crush in the confines of your room, voice slightly louder than you probably should be speaking with. But you always say his name in a hushed whisper, or use a code name. You aren't sure if you're praying for him to never have heard his own name, or to have heard it and want you back.

"Oooh!" Penelope squeals, "Tell me about this man!"

"There's nothing to tell!" You insist, and if you weren't sporting such a massive crush on him, you'd glare at Aaron, "And- and stop eavesdropping!"

"It's not eavesdropping if I can hear it from my room," Aaron laughs, "You need better whispering skills if you're trying to keep this a secret."

There's a few light chuckles from around the living room, but thankfully everyone seems to drop it. You're almost certain you'll be added to a group chat later with the ladies of the BAU to discuss your mystery man, but you're going to avoid any detail lest they figure out you're talking about their boss.

Even though conversation evolves, slowly moving away from your fiery cheeks and trembling breaths and towards Rossi's car troubles. Apparently he's insistent on fixing his own car, no matter how inexperienced he is in the craft. It's a pride thing, you're sure.

You're only half listening to the man drawl on about the different parts he's trying out, the tinkering he's been doing in his house's mansion's garage. You don't realize anything is out of the ordinary until you glance over at the clock on the wall and see Aaron staring at you below it. Your stomach flips as you meet his eyes, dark and firm. They're locked onto you, and he offers you a slight smile the more you hold his gaze. The longer you stare, the wider it gets, until the butterflies in your stomach are fit to burst and flutter around the room in a frenzy. You finally offer one back, turning away and suddenly much more interested in hearing Dave's spiel.

It's barely two minutes later when you chance another glance at the clock, and this time you don't need to look at Aaron to know he's staring, you can feel his gaze burning at the side of your head.

187 notes · View notes

glazemeda · 2 years

Text

summary; you're in a bad mood after barely sleeping because of a nightmare the previous night, and your lover wants to cheer you up. characters; venti, shikanoin heizou, kaedehara kazuha, scaramouche. tags/warnings; comfort, very slight spoilers in scaramouche's part?, hugs and kisses. not edited.

Even if you didn't wake him up at night, VENTI notices fairly quickly when you aren't in a good mood. It won't take him long to assume that you didn't sleep well, as he likes to make you laugh and feel light before going to sleep.

This bard will give you some good morning kisses along with more compliments than usual. Then, he'll ask you if something happened before he woke up.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" His hands gently hold your face, making you look at him. "I can sing for you until you feel better."

If you aren't busy that day and don't want to talk about it, Venti will ask you if you want to take a nap, even if you just woke up. You need to rest properly!

He won't blame you if you snap at him, he knows he can be a little much. Still, he wishes for nothing more than to see your smile before the afternoon arrives, so he'll continue trying but a bit more careful this time.

He'll play his lyre for you, hoping that the music will help you. And if you are feeling slightly better, he'll tell you funny stories that he remembers. He won't go to Angel's Share until he confirms that you aren't in a bad mood anymore, as your smile is even better than wine.

HEIZOU is a detective, he'll be the first one to notice your unusual mood as soon as he wakes up. He's quick to realize that it was most likely a nightmare.

At first, he's a little hesitant, not entirely sure if he might end up worsening your mood, but after a few minutes he decides to be softer rather than playful like he usually is.

"Want to talk about it?" He softly whispers on your ear, a hand reaching to caress your own. "Let me cook breakfast today, I'll make your favorite."

Heizou doesn't cook often, but he knows that you like his food. He'll be careful to avoid making too much noise, not wanting to cause you a headache after barely sleeping last night.

He understands if you snap at him for something, it's natural to feel irritated by little things after a bad night. He knows you don't actually mean what you say.

The detective needs to go to work, so he won't be able to stay with you for long, but he'll tell you where he'll probably be so you can go join him if there's nothing dangerous around. He wants to remind you that he's there for you, no matter what.

Heizou will give you a big hug before he leaves, hoping that you'll be feeling better when he comes back home. If you want to talk about your nightmare later, he's all ears, and his arms will be there to hold you.

It's a surprise that you didn't wake KAZUHA, as he's a pretty light sleeper. When he wakes up the next morning, he's worried about you once he notices your mood.

At first, he wonders if he did something wrong, but it's discarded as you weren't angry the day before. He concludes that you didn't sleep well, and decides to ask you.

"Did you have a nightmare, dove?" His eyes are gentle, his touch on your arm even more so. "Don't hesitate to wake me up if you have another, so I can hold you until you fall asleep again."

He wants nothing more than to offer you comfort, and is careful around you so you don't end up saying things you don't mean. He understands how one feels after a bad rest.

Kazuha will hold you in his arms, either in silence or reciting some of the haikus that he wrote with you as his inspiration. His voice will most likely calm you down pretty quickly.

It's hard to stay in a bad mood around him, especially when he's so sweet with you. He'll offer to find a good place to take a nap later, outside, so nature can sing a lullaby and wish you sweet dreams.

Another surprise, as SCARAMOUCHE is also a light sleeper, and not the best situation. He's no stranger to nightmares and being in a bad mood during the morning, but he's not as soft as others may be.

The harbinger will most likely stay quiet, not knowing what to say and not exactly wanting to make your mood worse. He's not the most caring, but he's also not the type to bother his lover in moments like these.

If you snap at him though, that's a different situation. He won't let it slide, and you'll most likely argue before he decides to leave for work. His mood isn't the best in the mornings.

Once he comes back, a bit earlier than usual and with a small box in his hands, he feels a bit bad for leaving like that, even if he won't say it aloud.

"Here, I got this for you." He leaves the box in your hands, keeping a neutral expression. "Next time, tell me if you didn't sleep well. We can stay in bed a bit longer."

He won't offer direct comfort, but his words are clear enough. He wants you to sleep enough, and is willing to stay with you until you are able to fall asleep before he needs to go.

glazemeda 2022

#genshin x reader #scaramouche x reader #venti x reader #kazuha x reader #heizou x reader

575 notes · View notes

tayrcse · 2 months

Text

Bad Hearts

✎ summary: You never thought a person could hurt someone and feel nothing at all. JJ Maybank proved you wrong.

✎ warnings: angst

✎ characters: JJ Maybank, Kiara Carrera

✎ word count: 527

masterlist

You were my everything, my "here goes nothing"

Thought you were chasing me, but you were running

I did nothing wrong, was perfect as perfect can be

You didn't shed a tear 'cause you've got this down to a T

JJ was everything to you. He was the only person you could consider family. You leapt into a relationship with him, thinking he felt the same way. You thought he was pursuing you, but he was just using you as an escape from his life. You know you didn’t do anything wrong. You always put him first. You were perfect as perfect can be. Which is why you didn’t understand why when he ended things without even shedding a tear.

And I was crying, and you kept lying

Saying you're sorry for the thousandth time

“I’m sorry,” you heard him say over the sound of your own crying. It was a lie, and you both knew it. You’ve lost count of how many times you’ve heard those two words during your short relationship.

Bad hearts don't break when they say goodbye

So, I hope one day I'll cross your mind

And you'll realize you ruined the girl who could make you better

And you'll regret the moment you gave me back my sweater

But, if you're still okay

It's 'cause bad hearts don't break

Maybe JJ was right when he told you that he had a defective heart. That he wasn’t capable of love. Maybe that’s why it didn’t hurt him to say goodbye.

A part of you hopes that, one day, he’ll think of you again, and he’ll regret ever leaving you. Maybe he’ll finally be sorry for ruining the girl who would’ve loved him for a lifetime. Maybe he’d regret giving you back the sweater you had left in his truck. If he doesn’t? Maybe he really does have a bad heart.

You walk away, and you shrug your shoulders

You were over us before we were over

Barely been a week, and there you go again

And I already know how that love will end

It was barely a week later when you saw him with another girl. The girl he told you not to worry about: Kiara Carrera. He was probably whispering sweet nothings in her ear, empty promises that you knew he wouldn’t keep. You already knew how the relationship would end. He would break her heart, and he would walk away, leaving her like he left you.

She'll be crying, and you'll be lying

Saying you're sorry for the thousandth time

It wasn’t long before the inevitable happened. JJ Maybank broke another girl’s heart. She was crying, and you didn’t have to hear him to know that he was saying “sorry” for the thousandth time.

I always wondered how they do it (oh)

Hurt someone like there's nothing to it (it must be that)

You always wondered how someone could break another person’s heart and feel nothing at all. You think JJ gave you your answer. Maybe some people’s hearts just didn’t work. Maybe some people were incapable of loving. And I guess you can’t break something that was already broken.

#Spotify #outer banks #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank #jj maybank angst #tayrcse

24 notes · View notes

skzswife · 8 months

Text

Why don't you come find out?

(Lee minho x fem reader)

⚠ warnings⚠ unprotected sex (in pt 2) reader has panic attack mean Minho Dom Minho toxic ex mentions of abuse I think that it lmk if not

Your best friend since 3rd grade decided to drag you to a party after you being in your room sulking after your boyfriend of 4 years cheated on you with the girl he told you not to worry about. This is how that went

Gina busts through the door so hard you think it'll fly off the hinges "Get dressed noona" "for what" you say with a confused look on your face that she chuckles at "For the party we are going to so you'll stop sulking and talk to people, plus there'll be hot boyyys" she says wiggling her eyebrows "No" you deadpan pulling your covers back over your head "ughhhh girl you need to get out plus chan really misses you he hasn't seen you since Jack (your ex) and hes worried abt you" "...fine, only to make him feel better though" Gina practically tanks you out of bed by the ankles and to your closet "hmmm not this definitely not this a party not a church..AHA this will work!" She says as she pulls out a dark ruby colored mini dress with a small cutout in the chest and a slit in the thigh "oh wow didnt know we were going to a strip club." "Calm down girl its flattering and these shoes will work" she pulls out a pair of ruby red 2 inch heels "now go put these on and I'll do your makeup!" You reluctantly grab everything and get dressed she then does your makeup and you get in the car and a realization hits you "Wait!.. Chan is friends with Minho" "yeah its fine he said he probably wouldn't come anyway" " oh ok " you reply relieved you arrive and enter the building to be pulled into a bonecrushing hug by chan "Noona I missed you! I was so worried" "y-yeah chan im f-fine but I can't b-breathe" you wheeze out and he lets go quickly and you gasp for air "sorry I'm just excited to introduce you to my friends" "oh yay" you say faking excitement, Chan pulls you through a crowd to his group of friends and he starts introducing you "noona this is jisung,Felix,hyunjin,seungmin,I.N, changbin, and my other friend is missing but we'll find him later, they all excitedly shake your hand and hug you shouting his and omg you seem so cool and nice to meet yous after that you grab some water and start dancing with Gina when chan suddely grabs you and drags you over to his last friend who had just arrived and your jaw dropped it was ths one person you didn't want to see Lee Minho with that typical cocky smile "well hello kitty long time no see" you feign gagging and roll your eyes "you guys know each other?" "No chan we hate eachother." "Hate is a strong word princess" he says with fake pain on his face resulting in you walking away hoping he doesnt see your slightly red face (you hated him you really did didnt you? You wanted to but your heart betrayed you every time he was close god those perfect features made it so hard to hate him)

You spent a while dancing with Gina when you feel a hand on your shoulder and Gina gives you a look before walking away not knowing she was leaving you with someone from your past so bad you couldnt even bring yourself to tell her. You spin around and the blood drains from your face "R-rick?" The man smiles ominously "hey angel you look like you've seen a ghost whats wrong sweet cheeks?" You cant even speak and you just mutter "I- you-how-why.."

"Jeez miss me that much my sweet thing?" He chuckles as he raises a hand causing you to flinch and try to back away "Where do you think your going darling!?" He seethes as he grabs your wrist tight enough to make you since you speak in a quiet tone not wanting to cause a scene "p-please let me go I didnt do anything" "I know honey" he say as he caresses your cheek with his free hand and you try to pull away causing his grip to tighten "o-ow!" "Shut up and nothing will happen ok?" From across the room you see chan and Gina talking not realizing whats happening "I'll be quiet pmease just let me go your hurting me" "stop being dramtic unless you actually want me to hurt you y/n." He leans down to whisper something in your ear and smirks at you while letting go. You start hyperventilating and sobbing silently and start to have a panic attack and then in the blink of an eye Rick is on the floor with someone straddling him punching him relentlessly the person blurred by your tears says in between punches "when*punch* someone says * it hurts * you let * go if she says * let go * you let * go. Understood?" Rick nods desperately "y-yes I do" "good" then ths man suddenly pulls you into an embrace stroking your hair telling you its alright and you find yourself relaxing and then you realize who it is when chan comes over and yells "MINHO WHAT THE HELL YOU CANT JUST PUNCH PEOPLE UNTIL THEYRE BLEEDING FOR NO REASON!!" minho quietly replies because he doesnt want to stress you out more "no reason? Are you fucking serious right now chan? I was protecting YOUR friend from him because he was hurting her and weren't even paying attention and stop yelling right now your just going to make it worse." Chans angry expression drops immediately and he looks at you stepping toward you "did he hurt you Y/n? I'm sorry I should have paid attention to you are you okay?" As chan steps closer you look at him with red puffy eyes from crying and nuzzle farther into minhos chest "No chan im not okay. You promised me you would always be there to protect me and...you werent. Please leave me alone" "o-ok" chan replies stepping back as gina steps forward you step back behind lee know he puts an arm out signaling for her to stop but she just scoffs "dont tell me to stop shes my best friend I need to be there for her." Minho stands firm in between you and her "but you werent there for her that's my point she needed you and you werent there" you tug at his shirt signaling him to come down so you could whisper in his ear "I wanna leave" he nods and grabs your hand leading you through the crowd "We are leaving" he says as you exit and climb into his car the drive is silent but as you pull up you invite him in and he accepts you entwr your apartment and head to the couch as you sit he lays his head on your thighs blushing which makes you giggles "what's so funny L/N?" You blush at him calling you by your last name "nothing your just blushing and I thought it was cute" it takes him a bit to process and when he does it only takes a few seconds for your lips to be connected in a sloppy but passionate kiss teeth clashing but still hungry for more you climb onto his lap and start to grind earning a grunt from him that only riles you up more but he breaks the kiss "we shouldnt do this" "I dont care about the consequences I wanr you as much as I want to hate you I can't" you kiss him again this time with more lust behind it as you fumble to take your dress off breaking the kiss to do so you blush as he admires your chest as if its the most beautiful thing he's ever seen (to him it was) he stares wide eyed before he kisses you again and you melt into it tugging at his shirt desperately trying to get it off earning a chuckle from him "need help kitten?" You grumble as he breaks the kiss to take it off and now its your turn to stare 'i mean you always knew he was fit but DAMN' you think as you trace the ridges and valleys of his abs when something catches your eye.. A small scar on his stomach...

Taglist

@feybin @hhhyunjinnnn @bristidutta

Red means it wont let me tag you(check privacy setting)

#skz smut #stray kids fic #stray kids imagine #skz #stray kids x female reader #lee know smut #stray kids hard thoughts

67 notes · View notes

scarletwinterxx · 1 year

Text

Confess my truth in swooping, sloping, cursive letters - mark lee imagine

hello! happy holidays to all of you, sending lots of warm hugs. thank you all so much for being a part of my year💛I appreciate each and every one of you who showed love and support for my blog.

Haven't written a story this long in such a long time, i should give myself a pat on the back🥺😅also i really really like how this turned out, i hope you do too!

Song inspo : paris - taylor swift

if you have a request or scenario you want me to do, just send me a message I'll see what I can do😊💌

For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2022 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

(gif not mine, credits to owner)

“I’m going to cuff her, just you wait” you hear Mark say from beside you. While you're too busy trying to understand the notes you took down yourself and still not understand a thing, your bestfriend has his own distractions.

“Who?” you ask without looking up

“Aeri, the new transfer” Mark answers swiftly

“Like you would have a chance with her, it’s too early for your delusions Min” you call his nickname. Min, from his name Minhyung. Most people call him that, or Mark. But when it's just the two of you talking you mostly refer to him as Min.

“What? It’s not a delusion. We have like a lot in common” he reasons out, letting your eyes roll at his reasoning. You finally look up at him, and ask

“Oh yea like what?”

“We’re both exchange students” you shoot him a deadpanned look, waiting for him to say something else

“You moved here 11 years ago”

"So?"

"You know what if that's what you believe, go. I'm not going to crush your feelings this time. If you want to be dumb, go and be my guest"

Mark snickers at your words, not sure if it was you showing support or teasing him.

"What are you reading anyways? Just accept your fate and focus on something else" he says, looking at your notes. The handwriting is not neat at all, only you can understand it at this point but Mark has known you long enough to read it like his own.

"Dude, are you studying for the exam tomorrow?" he asks

"Yea why?"

"This is the wrong chapter"

"Motherfucker"

Turns out Mark was right, you were reading the wrong chapter all along. After having a mini freak out upon realizing that and realizing you didn't have enough time to cram a semester worth of lesson in one night, Mark had to calm you down and make sure you don't cry the rest of the night instead.

He made sure to buy dinner for the both of you before he walked you back to your dorm, leaving a pack of gummy bears in your bag for you to find later because he knows you'll probably pull an all nighter.

The next time you see each other is after the exam, your eyes were swollen either from the lack of sleep or from crying that Mark is not sure of.

"You look like shit"

"Thank you, like I didn't already know that"

He passes the coffee he got you before taking your bag and slinging it on his shoulder, "How did the exam go?"

"Good, better than I expected" you mumbled, taking a sip of your much deserved coffee "Thank you" you tell him, referring to the coffee.

"So now that you're a free woman, there's a party later"

"I know where this is going, I haven't slept since Monday. A party is the least of my priority right now, Min"

You do feel very drained right now and you haven't slept a wink, exam seasons got you staying up all night and crying in between the 15 minute breaks. The only reason you haven't lost the last of your sanity is because of the human walking beside you.

You and Mark may argue a lot but you have each other's back no matter what. He's your bestfriend, he's your mediator, you're his voice of reason.

"You can nap before the party. You deserve to relax after this stressful week" he says, stepping behind you to massage your shoulders to convince you further.

"You stress me every week, what's the real reason you want to go"

"I may have heard Aeri is going"

"We're still on that?"

"It hasn't been a week since I told you that and yes, I'm still into her. So what you do say?" he looks over your shoulder, meeting your eyes to look at you directly because he knows you can never say no this way to him.

"Why invite your bestfriend at a party you want to meet the girl you like?"

"Because"

"Because what??"

"Who would hype me up? I can already see myself chickening out, but if you're there then you can convince me"

You can only think of all the times you convinced him to do something stupid because when it comes to you, Mark can be pretty gullible. That makes you feel proud knowing he trust you but also that makes him an easy target for your pranks.

"Convince you to make a total fool of yourself? Hell yes I'm in"

A couple of hours later, Mark and you enter the party side by side. Already seeing a couple of familiar faces in the crowd.

You made your way through the crowd until you saw your other friends, "Finally, they show up" Haechan shouts, immediately passing a shot glass to you and then Mark

"To catch you up, we already started so you better get going" he tells the two of you, pushing the shot glasses towards your faces

"I'll have only one, and his also because he's driving tonight" you say taking the glass from Mark before he can say anything. Then you shoot your head back, drinking the shots simultaneously and earning cheers from the two boys. Mark already too distracted looking around hoping to spot the reason why he came here tonight.

"Damn woman, how are you not cuffed down yet?" Haechan jokes

"You're asking that when he's standing right here?" Jeno butts in, throwing an arm around Mark.

Of course they would bring that up whenever they can. Those two don't believe a boy and a girl can stay in a platonic relationship. Swearing you and Mark are meant for each other but too scared to admit it. The old but beloved bestfriends to lovers trope, Haechan calls it.

"He's only standing here at this party to cuff someone and that woman is not me, luckily. Have you seen Aeri?" you ask Haechan,

"I think I saw her talking to Dery outside" you then turn to Mark, dusting off his jacket for no reason. Just to boost his confidence, you think.

"Go do what we went out here for, and make it quick. If you don't get her number by the end of this night, I'm shaving your seagull eyebrows in your sleep. Got it?"

Mark chuckles at your empty threat, he knows you only said that to not make him nervous and it works everytime.

"Yes ma'am. For you, I'll be a taken man by the end of this month"

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves, you're hot but not that hot. Okay now go before they hand me another shot" then you're pushing him towards the direction of the backyard door.

Meanwhile, Haechan and Jeno watch the two of you like it's a live action drama happening infront of them where the two lead characters are bestfriends who swore they don't feel anything for eacth other only to end up together in the end.

"What the fuck was that?" Haechan ask after Mark walks off, turning to face the two boys

"What?"

"The sexual tension was killing me, you swear you two haven't kissed?" he asks back, you shake your head as an answer "No, we haven't and will never"

"I get that you guys are just bestfriends and swear it's nothing more than that, but did you just call him hot?" Jeno ask you

"Yes, I have eyes. I call them as I see them"

"And you say you're not into him?"

"Do I look like I'm into him?"

"Yes" they answer at the same time, shaking your head at them

"It's not like that, I already told you that. I've known Mark since we were kids. That's the same kid who looked like a chipmunk with glasses" you tell them

"More reason why you like him! You've him at his worst, not sure about his best but you're the one who's been there for him. It's the perfect plot for the most cliché love story" Haechan says dramatically

"I'm afraid this book is not how it ends, can you just pass me another shot"

That night ended in different ways, for starters you got so drunk you forgot how you got home. All you can remember was Haechan daring you to jump on the trampoline and do a back flip, you can't remember if you did it or not.

Mark's night however wasn't as exciting, yes he did get to talk to Aeri but nothing more than a few words. Not enough for her to peak interest in him, there was a bunch of other people with them so he couldn't exactly just talk to her and he didn't want to ruin the fun. So instead he found himself walking back ready to admit his defeat to you and accept his fate of having his eyebrows shaved only to find you on the grass laughing your ass off.

Turns out Haechan dared you to do a backflip but Jeno still had some of his common sense and tried to stop you, and by that he meant tackling you off the trampoline and down on the ground.

Mark helps you up from the ground, dusting your clothes to rid of the grass. Holding you by the arm while you sway on your feet clearly intoxicated.

"You're done for the night, no more leaving you alone with them" he tells you as if he was scolding a child

"Boo, you're no fun. Just say you're jealous" Haechan tells him, poking Mark's back

"Shush, don't tease him. Angry Mark is scary" you whisper shout, oh yess you're definitely drunk

"Let's get the three of you home, Jeno drag Haechan please"

And that's how it ended. Mark dropped the two boys first before he drove you back at your dorm.

"So how did it go?" you spoke all of a sudden, fighting the sleepiness off to do your duty as the nosy bestfriend

"Good"

"You didn't get her number did you?"

"Nope"

It wasn't the last time Mark dragged you somewhere in hopes of finally talking to Aeri. And all the other attempts always end up a fail like the universe just doesn't want him to succeed.

He also has become a regular at the library where you spend most of your time when you're not with him. He may have heard that Aeri comes here sometimes so why not give it a shot. He prefers studying in his own room where he can blast music, while you prefer the quiet atmosphere here.

"It helps me focus" you tell him when he asked you why you liked studying here when you can just do it at the comfort of your own dorm or his.

"I'm going home for the weekend, by the way. Want to come?" Mark ask you, remembering his mom asking him to ask you.

"And you tell me only now when it's Saturday tomorrow?" you ask back

"I'll pick you up at 3am?"

"Minhyung, I'm going to kill you" that's a yes. He just smiles and give your cheek a pinch then turning his attention back to his laptop, since he's already might as well get some work done.

Like he said, he did show up at your doorstep at 3am. Handing him your bag for the weekend, eyes half closed face bare.

"Make this weekend worth my while, Min or I will seriously shave your brows this time" you threaten him

"Yea yea, I'll get you your favorite cookies back home"

While most people will stay up with the driver on a long trip, you where back to dreamland a few minutes after Mark drove off. He passed a hoodie and a blanket over to you and the next second you were out.

Instead of waking you up, Mark just turns on the music loud enough to keep him awake but low enough not to disturb your sleep. But really it doesn't matter, he can be playing Bohemian Rhapsody on full volume you'll still sleep through it.

When the of you arrived at Mark's childhood home, his mom was already waiting by the door. Her smile doubling as she sees you exiting the passenger side, "Y/N! I'm so glad you made it!" she says with open arms. You walk over to give her a hug.

She's like a mom to you, whenever your parent's went on holidays or work trips they would always leave you with Mark's parents. The two of you weren't kidding when you say you spent a lot of your childhood together.

"You two must be tired from the drive, why don't you eat breakfast then rest for a bit?" she tells you, when Mark walks towards the door his mom hugs him too.

"Sounds good, thank you"

"I made your favorite cookies by the way, Mark made sure I didn't forget" she tells you with a smile, "Really?" you asked excitedly, and Mark thinks it was worth bugging his mom over the phone last night.

It was a great way to detox from all the stress from university, the rest of the weekend you relaxed as much as you can. Slept in without a worry about anything, you only wish this weekend lasted longer.

"Mom, you need to let us go. We won't make it in time" Mark tells his mom who is too busy smothering him, you jsut smile at the mother-son interaction happening infront of you.

"You two have a safe drive back" his dad says, giving Mark a quick hug too.

"Don't be a stranger, I'll tell your parents you rested well this weekend" Mark's mom tells you, you thank her again before giving her one last hug and saying bye to his dad too.

"Can we just not go back to school?"

"We can, but then what would we do? and I can't leave the plants to Haechan, they will die" Mark says, that made you laugh

"Why though? something bothering you?" he adds

"Nothing, I just had fun this weekend. I haven't slept that good since I moved in my dorm" you tell him

"You're still having trouble with sleeping? I told you just call me, I can bore you to sleep"

"I'm sure but I'm not going to call you every night when I can't sleep"

"Nonsense, I already sleep late anyways"

You didn't mean to let your mind wander but for the first time ever in your history of friendship with Mark, you let your mind think would it be different if he wasn't just your friend. Haechan and Jeno's words echoing inside your head.

Mark's words just then made you think about it but then you shook those thoughts away quickly as they came.

“Wait hold up, you two talk about that?”

“You haven’t?”

Haechan looks at you with disbelief, silently asking if you were being serious

"Yo Jeno! If i get bitten by a snake on my dong will you suck the venom out?" Haechan asks Jeno who just arrived. You're currently over at Haechan and Mark's place since you had to finish a project you were doing with Haechan, Jeno is just a regular visitor here.

"What the fuck? No" Jeno answered, confused with the context of his friend's question

"But like, it's an emergency" you say

"Still no, I'm sorry but you're dying my friend" Jeno tells Haechan

"Who's dying?" Mark asks, finally getting home from his last class. He knew you were here hence why he choose to order food on his way home.

"Jeno" you and Haechan answered at the same time

"Would you do it for him?" you weren't looking at Jeno so you didn't check if he was asking you or Haechan

"No..."

"I mean"

Jeno looks back and forth between you and Haechan, Mark is in the kitchen unboxing the food he got for the group.

"Y/N!? Is this what you two were talking about?" Jeno ask the two of you

"Talk about what?" Mark curiously asks, walking back to the living where the three of you were. Putting the chicken and pizza on the coffee table before taking a seat on the floor beside your legs.

"If you get bitten by a snake on your-"

"I'd rather not talk about it infront of your dinner, thank you very much" Haechan cuts you off

"I'd rather not have that image in my head" Jeno adds

"What?" Mark asks, you just shake your head and take the slice of pizza he just took a bit of

"Nothing, let's just say you're the only one not dying here" you answer him.

You and Haechan finished late. Before you go back to your dorm, you checked on Mark to see him also busy with something. Sitting hunched back on his desk,

"Your back will hurt, stop slouching" you tell him, walking towards where he was sitting

"You sound like me when I scold Haechan. You two done?" he ask, looking up at you

"Mhm, I should go it's late" it's past midnight already. Jeno went home after dinner while you and Haechan worked on your project. Mark was waiting for you finish so he can drive you back, when he thinks of something

"Why don't you just stay here for the night?" he asks you

"Huh?"

"Stay for the night, it's late and you probably will have hard time sleeping once you get home. You can borrow my clothes" he says, already walking towards his closet to grab you a pair of shirt and sweats for the night

"Do I have any say in this?" you ask

"Just say yes, Y/N. It's late, you're tired but you'll probably stay up all night if you go home now. If you stay here I can make sure you're going to get some sleep" Mark tell you, then hands you his shirt and sweats.

"Go change, I'll sleep on the couch"

When you got back from the bathroom now changed in Mark's clothes, he's still slumped over his desk. "You should call it a night, too. I can take the couch"

He turns his chair around to face you, shaking his head "Nonsense, go sleep I'll be done in like 5 minutes"

"Then just sleep here, there's enough room for the two of us. This is not the ending of titanic"

He chuckles at your statement, watching you get cozy under his covers. This made him want to call it a night and cuddle in with you, that very thought confused him in different ways.

One, it confused him how thinking about cuddling you seemed so natural. And two, it confused him how it wasn't weird at all. To him atleast.

He shoots you quick smile before turning back to his table to finish his work. More than five minutes passed when he finally finished, turning of his laptop and desk lamp before turning to check on you only to see you quietly scrolling on your phone.

"What did I say? Go to sleep, dummy"

"Was waiting for you, c'mere" you say while opening the blanket for him. He didn't even say no, he didn't say anything. It's like his body was on auto-pilot. Like you're the one in control. He didn't mind it one bit.

Mark turns off the lights first before settling beside you, he lays his head on the pillow beside yours. You send him a sleepy smile, mirroring your actions.

"You need to go to sleep, missy"

"I'm trying, believe me"

"What usually helps you sleep at night?" he ask, both of you were whispering even though no one would hear you in his room. It was past midnight, the only light coming from the lamppost outside his window.

"I cuddle something, usually my favorite pillow" you mumble, you'd be embarrassed to admit you still need to hug something when you go to sleep but you're talking to Mark. You didn't mind showing and telling him everything about you because you know he'd stay after everything.

"Cuddle me" he say without missing a beat. And for a couple of seconds the two of you just stare at each other, waiting for something. Maybe for the other person to say something.

"Uh I mean I don't want you to be uncomfortable, my head's a bit heavy" you tell but he just chuckles back at you, opening his arms as if inviting you to come to him if you wanted.

"My head's bigger than yours, come on. Your eyes are about to close, why are you fighting it"

"I'm not, it's my mind that won't shut up"

"Then don't think, just listen to me. I'll keep on talking or humming or something until you fall asleep" this time he pulls on your arm, making you move from one side of his bed over to him. Leaving you no choice but rest your head on his chest. His heart drumming under your ears, like your personal white noise machine.

"You're warm" you mumble, cuddling against his chest more because he feels warm. You've never cuddled like this before, why haven't you cuddled like this before?

Oh right, because friends don't do things like this. Once again, Haecha and Jeno's word bounce around your head. Making you question your feelings for your bestfriend.

"Can you relax? I can tell you're still thinking about something, just... listen to my breathing or something" he tells you, this time you feel his hand run through your hair making you more sleepy.

And you listen, listen to him. Listen to his heart. The loud thoughts in your head now just mere background noise. All forgotten.

"I'm going to tell you something, but you're not allowed to tell me I told you so"

Jeno looks back at you confused. You popped out of nowhere, now taking the vacant seat in front of him.

"Uh okay"

"And you can't tell Haechan or Mark. Swear it" you tell him

"Okay, I swear. Are we scheming them or what?"

You opened your mouth to speak, repeating the action one two three times but the words can't seem to come out.

"I can't say it"

"Why? Did you run overe someone? Did you forget to water Mark's plants?" he ask again

"No, I didn't. It's not like that. I can't say it because I can't believe it myself and maybe it's not even real. Maybe I'm just confused or something. Maybe I'm sick, yeah I think I'm sick. Am I sick?" you ask him, pulling his hand to lay it on your forehead

"No, but you are starting to scare me."

"I'm starting to scare myself too!"

"Why???"

"Because I think I'm in love with my bestfriend"

That got the two of you quiet. You can't believe you just said that out loud, and now that it's out in the world you can't believe you might be inlove with your bestfriend, Mark. The guy you've known your whole life. The same guy you swore you will never see as someone who's more than a friend.

Jeno was also caught by surprise, he did expect it to happen at some point but he thought it would be Mark realizing it first before you. And he didn't think he'd be the first one to know. Now he has to hide this from Mark and worse, Haechan.

"There you two are, I was looking for you! I have some great news" Mark says, surprising you and Jeno. Sending him a look which he understood.

"What?" you ask, turning to look at Mark who's now sitting beside you.

"I finally got Aeri's number, and get this we're going out this Friday night" he says with the biggest smile on his face.

You didn't even hesitate, immediately shooting his a smile back. "No way, you finally grew the balls to do it. Who would've thought" you joke

"What did I say, I'll be cuffed down before this month ends. Now I just need your help to think about where I should take her, dude are you okay?" he asks Jeno, notiching the guy has not said a word since he arrived.

Mark wonders if he interrupted something, you did look like you were in the middle of a serious talk. You tried to cover it but he did notice the look on your face when he arrived. He didn't want to push it right now, leaving a mental note to ask you about it later instead.

"Me? Yeah totally. I just remember about this thing I forgot back at the library. I should go there and get it before someone else takes it"

"I'll go too, I need this book for my next exam" you say, already slinging your bag on your shoulder. Standing up from your seat.

"I'll see you later, bye" you tell Mark quickly before stalking away, leaving a confused Mark behind. He turns to the other guy also watching your retreating figure.

"Did something happen?" he ask Jeno, "Huh? No, I don't know. I'm gonna go. Bye hyung" Jeno smiles at him before waving goodbye, walking the same direction you went to.

That was the last time Mark saw you, after that you kind of went into hiding. Always coming up with an excuse to not see him: whether you're busy with another project, you're sick at home, you're on your period and too tired to leave your dorm. At this point you're running out of minor injuries to use as an excuse.

Friday came and went, you didn't have the strength to call him and ask him about the date. You really can't invest in his love life when you're having trouble with yours. Well technically yours is one sided.

You just got back from the cafe you found jus tthis week in your attempt to spend less time on campus since you know you're most likely to bump into Mark there. So instead you found a quaint cafe outside campus and made it your new study place. What you didn't expect though was to find your bestfriend standing outside your dorm room.

Mark heard footsteps coming down the hallway, looking up from his phone to see you standing on the other end. It's been almost 2 weeks since he last talked to you, apart from the few texts he received from you this has been the longest time he's been away from you.

"Hey, were you out?" he ask when you got to him

"Yeah, I was studying"

"I was at the library. but I couldn't find you" he tells you, right off the bat he could tell something was wrong. You won't even look him in the eye right now.

"I was studying some place else"

"Oh okay, is something wrong? Are you okay?" he ask again, now he's worried.

"Me? Yea no I'm fine. Just busy and tired" now that you mention it, he notices the dark circles under your eyes. You're still beautiful despite that, but he could tell you haven't had proper sleep probably a couple of days now.

"Have you been sleeping okay?"

"I'm good, why'd you ask?"

"Nothing, I'm just worried. You just said the other day you had a massive headache, you should get some rest. Did you eat dinner already? I can go grab some for us before you call it a night" he suggest, ready to run down the nearest restaurant but you shake your head at him

"I already ate, I think I'll just call it a night. I'm tired. I'll call you later" you tell him, opening the door to your dorm. Waving goodbye to him before closing it, leaving a very worried Mark on the other side.

Something is definitely up with you and he's not going to rest tonight until he figures it out. The last person he saw you with was Jeno, so he texts the younger guy asking his whereabouts. It turns out Jeno is over at his and Haechan's place.

He made his way back home, seeking for answers. When he got there, he calls for Jeno.

"What's up?" Jeno asks

"What happened between you and Y/N?"

"Huh?" Jeno asks back, confused. Meanwhile Haechan pauses the game him and Jeno were playing to join the conversation

"Did something happened?" Haechan asks

"Yea well the last time I saw her she was talking to Jeno, you two looked like you were having a serious conversation then she walks off. Then after that she's been avoiding me" Mark explains, arms flailing around. Clearly frustrated with the situation.

"Why did you say she's avoiding you? Maybe she's just busy?" Haechan asks again, "We took the CSAT's at the same time, believe me even if she's that busy she's not going to avoid me like this"

"And you're assuming that based off of that?"

"I just know something's wrong okay?! I just don't know what it is" Mark frustratedly says, voice rising a bit. Meanwhile Jeno stays quiet. He promised to keep quiet so that's what he's doing.

Haechan looks over at him, immediately he could tell Jeno knows something

"Speak, I can tell you're hiding something" Haechan tells him, Jeno just shakes his head

"Dude, what?? So you know something?" Mark says

"I promised not to tell, especially the two of you" Jeno finally speaks, "So she did say something??" Mark prods even further

"I can't say it, I swore to Y/N I won't"

"What can't you say to me and Mark hyung? Haechan's the one to ask this time, making the pieces fit together in his head. And when it did, it's like a light bulb turned on in his head.

"OH MY GOD!" Haechan says catching both boys' attention

"Haechan no!" Jeno says

"What what??" Maark says

Haechan looks back and forth between the two guys, then stopping at Mark. "I don't know either but I think I do"

"Then tell me!!!!"

"No! Because if what I think is right then you would want to hear this from Y/N" Haechan says, Jeno lets out the breath he was holding.

Mark couldn't wait another day to talk to you, even though he promised he'd let you rest first he can't just sleep tonight without knowing.

That's how he found himself standing outside your door again, ringing the doorbell thrice like he always would. When you opened the door, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes.

"Mark? Is everything okay?" you ask, confused why he'd be out here this time of the night

"Sorry for waking you up but I just can't sleep tonight knowing something's not right with us. Are we okay?" he ask you.

This was enough to fully wake you, opening the door for him fully to let him in. You wait until you're inside before you face him again,

"I just needed some time off, I guess" you tell him

"Why?"

"Well, you said you had a date with Aeri. I didn't want to get in between that, you can't be spending that much time with me once you get a girlfriend. I'm not going to be that kind of bestfriend, Mark"

Your explanation although very valid, did not make any sense to him. Because now when you say things like him getting a girlfriend, he don't see Aeri beside him or any other girl.

The only person he can picture beside him is you. The only person he wants to spend all his time with is you. The one he wants to take out on dates is you. When he went out on that date with Aeri, he did have a great time but the two of them thought they're better off as friends. He just never had the chance to tell you because you've been avoiding him.

"Well you don't have to worry about that, I'm not going out with Aeri"

"What?? why?? But you like her"

Now you feel guilty, wondering what could've went wrong and if you had something to do with it.

"I thought I did. I mean I like her, but only as a friend. Turns out we're better as buddies" he lets out a chuckle, watching your confused reaction

"You're still my bestfriend though, so will you tell me what's wrong?" he asks, taking careful steps towards you until he's an arm length away

"Like I said I didn't want to intrude"

"I don't think that's just it. Jeno said-"

"Jeno said what??? Oh my god I'm going to kill him"

He just smiles at you, this is the first time you said more that a few words to thim and the first time you sounded like the usual you.

"Actually he didn't say anything, then Haechan somehow figured it out and say I should hear it from you instead" he looks at you, observing your face. Committing every detail he's been looking at for years. This time with more adoration and love in his eyes.

"What's wrong with you?" you ask, noticing the way he's looking at you.

"Nothing, just thinking about something completely stupid" it's not stupid. He was thinking about all this time he didn't any other girl, he always have liked you but too scared to say something about it. So instead he searched for something similar.

But of course no one could even come close. There's after all, only one of you for him.

"What?"

"You tell me first what Haechan and Jeno know then I'll tell you"

Now that he's the one asking, you're not sure how to get out of this one. He got you cornered with no place to go.

"I'll tell you but you have to promise me if it ever gets awkward after this you'll still be my bestfriend" you tell him,

"Of course"

Instead of telling him in words, it's like a higher power possessed you. Standing on your tiptoe, resting both hands on his shoulder. Pressing your lips flat against his.

You can tell just how shocked he was, frozen in his place. Your blood runs cold thinking you just ruined your friendship forever but then you feel his arms snake around your waist pulling you closer towards him. Mark tilts his head a bit to the side, deepening the kiss. Smiling against your lips, he can taste the strawberry flavored chapstick you always use.

This should feel weird and foreign to the both of you, but no. This moment feels so right. Being in each other's arms makes so much sense, like this was how it should've been all along.

Mark takes a few steps forward making you walk back until your back is against the door, still lips attached together. Eventually the two of you had to break apart to take a breath, your eyes still closed you feel him kiss your lids then your nose then he kisses you on your jaw down the side of your neck. Leaning your head on the side to give him more space because right now his lips feel so good against your skin you just wanted more.

He gives you a few more kisses before leaning away to look at you with that lovestruck look on his face.

"I know this might seem a bit too fast but a decade worth of memory with you seems enough, can I be your boyfriend?"

This time you kiss him again, shorter this time though so you can give him your answer "Of course, who else would I make more memories with. Plus I love your mom too much"

Mark smiles at your words, finally finally all the pieces fall into place. Finally he got the girl.

"What did I say, told you I'd be a cuffed man"

"Shut up and just kiss me"

"Yes ma'am

319 notes · View notes

depressofiasco · 10 months

Text

Peng x Mortal! Reader Headcanons

They/Them pronouns for Peng and reader.

Fluff! But Peng is also a lil toxic lol. I love this bird and I need more content for them so I'll probably be fixated on them for a bit.

Catching the romantic interest of this bird is basically a death wish. They don't even realize they like you at first because "romance isn't something they'd waste their time with."

Trying to have a regular conversation with Peng almost always leads to them becoming distracted by you in some way. Whether it be your smile or the way you hang onto their every word, it drives them crazy.

Of course, this is taken out on you via taunting, putting you down, pretty much convincing you you're meaningless because they can't distinguish butterflies from annoyance.

They'll vent to Yellowtusk about it because he's the only one they feel will listen to them without giving them a headache.

"I get so annoyed when they're around, yet I don’t want them leaving my sight... Like they'll run off and die if I'm not babysitting them. I don't get it..."

"It sounds like you enjoy someone's presence for once, brother."

"...Maybe you're not as wise as I thought."

Yellowtusk doesn't take offense because he knows Peng will be back to "complain" about you again. It both worries and amuses him.

If by some miracle you see through their prickly exterior and show interest in them, Peng will only get worse before they get better. However, they'll be more egotistical, (If that's possible) boasting instead of putting you down- as much.

Peng will flaunt to the point they're performing for you as they train, always making you attend the training sessions and claiming it was so you'll learn a thing or two. Wukong definitely helps with this, only because he wants an excuse to scrap with Peng, but he also heavily ships you two on the down low.

If you confess first, Peng will be shocked into silence for the first time in their life. You expect them to yell at you, say something like "I know," or even hit you.

You don't expect Peng to swiftly turn around and fly off without a word.

Sending you through a brick wall would have been less painful because they proceeded to ghost you for the next few days as they assessed their feelings for you.

They return days later after avoiding you. The closest thing to an apology you get is Peng gifting you your favorite snack.

"I have thought it over, and I've decided to humor," They gesture between the two of you, clearly out of their element. "... This."

Peng confessing first under normal circumstances is unlikely. Wukong would probably have to step in and start getting too close to you for Peng's liking. They don't even know why they care until your attention is consumed by the Monkey King.

Peng has to come to terms with the fact that not only do they want your attention, but they want you. Peng realizes just how easily you could slip from their grasp if you reject them or get swooned by another.

What do they do? Well, if demanding you be their spouse doesn't work, they'll try human courting methods like gifts or dates. Of course, they see that as a waste of time as well and contemplate just kidnapping you(which Yellowtusk advises against).

When you two officially get together, Peng hides the relationship from Azure, Macaque, and Wukong. Any public display of affection is strictly prohibited. Not because they were afraid of you being taken away, no, but because they felt weak for falling for a mortal.

This causes issues between you two, but it was to be expected. Peng isn't too affectionate in private either, at least not in a regular sense.

When Peng sees how much this hurts you, they do make an effort to show signs of love. Maybe they'll give you a backhanded compliment or run their talons over your scalp gently.

The longer you two are together, the more they open up to the idea of showing you they care for you instead of assuming you know. Eventually, they declare your relationship to the rest of the group(proudly).

Wukong is ECSTATIC - to Peng's dismay. Yellowtusk, Azure, and DBK are happy for you two. Macaque keeps his opinion to himself, even if it was obvious he was concerned for your well-being. It was Peng, after all.

Things do get better after that. You two have your disagreements, but Peng gets better at listening to you.

Most birds stick with their mate for life, that's not much different for Peng. Even if they aren't affectionate in the ways you crave sometimes, they protect you with their life.

Only they can belittle you and get away with it.

When they're tired, they'll fluff up next to you and take a power nap. No, you're not allowed to leave. You'll hear low chattering from their beak as they bask in your warmth. Mention it, and you'll be sent into the stratosphere.(And they'll whine while denying they do it.)

Will fly you places and pretend you're being a burden. In reality, they enjoy seeing you so easily impressed by their wings. Peng definitely shows off their wings every chance they get after that, whether it's to shield you from the weather or pull you closer.

Will eventually let you kiss their beak. The reaction is priceless as their feathers fluff up, and their pupils dilate ever so slightly.

Peng definitely purrs if you manage to get them that comfortable.

Doesn't directly say I love you. They don't want to admit someone made them soft enough to express it verbally. That, and they're not entirely sure how to be genuine sometimes. They learn a lot from you. If you give them words of affirmation, they'll return them—if not a little aggressively.

They'll rub against you affectionately to cover you in their scent and then carry you around.

You'll never go hungry with Peng as a partner. They bring you food before you realize you're hungry and somehow know what you're craving.

Still belittles you, but it's somehow in an endearing way.

No one can make them feel bad about being with you now. They present you at their side as their amazing partner. Anyone who has anything to say can meet an early death.

#peng x reader #lego monkie kid #reader insert #lmk peng #golden winged peng #peng lmk #x reader #lmk x reader

101 notes · View notes

amazinguu-sekai · 11 months

Text

Being the producer of his first solo song

kasumi: im on my writing spree again. sena is the first target sorry:3

reader: (gn) ; requested: nope ! ; proofread: cari ; type: headcannon (w/ lil scenes) ; wc: 333 ; era: !!

summary: You were the music producer in charge of Izumi Sena, a member of the popular unit Knights. Sena is a blunt and straightforward person, but over time, his carefully constructed facade began to crumble as he became more comfortable with you. Despite his tough exterior, Sena harbors self-doubt about his solo songs, which he is hesitant to admit.

Izumi Sena 📷

When you heard that you're the one who'll produce the first album of one of the members from the popular unit— Knights, you can't help but feel nervous. (honestly, who wouldn't?)

The moment you saw Izumi, you can't help but fall in love with his handsome and pretty face, but when he talked and his personality was shown, you were horrified and nervous of his blunt personality. But you guessed that's probably what happens when you belong to a popular unit. Oh, the facade of each idol..

The production of the single solo album was going pretty smoothly, having been in charge of the proper instrumental, timing, tempo and the vocal pitches of the song as well as the proper vocal ranges of Izumi's voice.

At first, you can't happen to approach Izumi, at all! He looks way too focused on his job, but as time passes by, you slowly warmed up and got accustomed to his personality and his usual traits of being serious and blunt. But a few days later, Izumi also began to get used to you, just a tinyyyy bit.

“Yeah, yeah, I'll work on my pitches next time..” Izumi muttered, without giving any attention or looking your way. As he drank his water, you can't help but notice that his voice was a little bit shaky the way he said it. Was he tired from the practices? Most probably.. You didn't give much attention to it, though.

One time, while arriving early at the studio, you glanced at the dressing room. Only to see Izumi gripping the chair hard while he stares at himself in the mirror. You can see that he looks like he's in pain and misery, hearing a few curses under his breath. You tried to approach him, but he immediately went back to his facade, “It's none of your business! Prepare the instrumental version of my solo, I wanna hear it." in a harsh and demanding tone, changing the topic of the conversation. You didn't try to talk and pry more into it, as he might get uncomfortable. After all, you were just his producer. You can't help but worry about him, though..

You somehow finally realized when he opened up to you about his problems after taking weeks of trying to hide it-- that Izumi had lots of uncertainty to his solo, thinking that he's probably better if he's with the other Knights members. You can't believe that under the tough and blunt facade, he had been going through lots of self doubt and anxiety, thinking that maybe he just didn't agree on the contract of making a solo song for himself.

But, you proved him to be wrong! Absolutely wrong!! You tried your best to comfort him and tell him that he's better and that he should have more confidence just as what his personality truly is. After talking with him for a few minutes, he thanked you for being there for him and he's grateful. Just a little bit.

“...Thanks, I guess, for listening to me.. I'll try to have more faith in myself, producer. You're a great friend outside work premises.” Your heart sort of broke, when he only sees you as a friend, to you who developed a romantic attraction to him over the weeks of being with him.

Once the solo was released and your contract with him is finally over, you can't help but feel defeated at the sight of him with his unit members and the glasses guy from Trickstar— Makoto, who you presumed. He's more happy around them and it feels like you're only a nobody for him.

Well, it's the bitter truth. It's just a contract, once the contract ends, you'll cut ties with him and probably never talk to him ever again.

Unbeknownst to you, Izumi still has this kind of hesitancy, but this time, it's more different.. He's having self-doubt and insecurity not on the solo song he released, but on how he can confess to you. With the confidence and blunt personality he usually puts up with everyone. But when it comes to you, it easily shatters.

What have you done to him?

#ensemble stars #enstars #ensemble stars x reader #anime and manga #kasumi writes ♪#izumi sena x reader #sena izumi #sena izumi x reader #knights enstars #enstars knights #anime

90 notes · View notes

hms-no-fun · 10 months

Note

Currently struggling a lot with getting very excited about a project, writing a lot, editing that writing until it's way more polished than what I can come up with off the cuff, and then being too intimidated to add to the document anymore since the previous good writing still gives off this looming intimidation if that makes sense? The more I write the greater the fear is I'll crash the story into a ditch that reveals the premise can't work. have you had that "its not all coming together shit theres a snag thats really important that i missed" moment? I realize it's pretty inevitable for that to happen, but whenever I write myself out of a moment like that I always second guess that I'm still overlooking something important or taking the easy way out. I know it's probably just all about pushing through but I worry that by pushing im just further diluting the original spirit of the project? Sorry for the all over the place ask, hope you have a good day :3

this is always a tough situation to navigate as a writer. happens to me often, and it has taken me a very long time to come even remotely close to being able to deal with it productively. believe it or not, i actually have quite a lot to say about this, so prepare for that below the break.

first of all, no, it's absolutely NOT all about pushing through. i find "pushing through" can just as often make the problem worse. keep in mind that i can only speak to my own experience and process, so any advice i might give here should only be taken insofar as you personally find it useful.

this is a form of writer's block. there are many different types of blocks, each with their own causes and hypothetical treatments. a big part of becoming A Writer as such is learning the difference between them, and developing methods for dealing with them on a case by case basis that don't involve substance abuse. don't do cocaine. that's step one.

most of my blocks are in the vein you describe. i'll be writing a scene that feels good, until i cross a threshold somewhere and suddenly the whole thing feels dead in the water. the first thing i do when this happens is stop writing. it's hard to stop when you're on a roll, i know. life is short and it's hard enough to write even on a good day, but sometimes you can just tell that you're on the wrong track and at that point you're probably not gonna be able to write your way back on.

once stopped, i check the basics. have i eaten recently? am i hydrated? have i taken my medications? these are rarely my problem (i keep a big water bottle with me at all times and my gf makes sure i'm fed), though you never know how useful a snack break can be. most of the time if the problem isn't with the text, it's that i've been writing for too fucking long and i need to clock out. learning to clock out is SO hard. but as i've been getting into the habit these last couple months, while i generally write less per day i ultimately end up writing more over time. i can feel my brain cooking when i've been writing too long. it's a muscle like anything else. if you did a bunch of overtime shifts at a more physical job, you'd need time to recover too. your body isn't a machine, your brain isn't a computer, and living things are inconsistent. it sucks but you'll have a better time all around when you learn to work with your body instead of against it.

another question is, have i showered recently? i find showers tedious and boring. also i still have depression even though my life is a lot better than it used to be. i lived on my own for a very long time as a deeply closeted self-hating trans woman, so my hygiene habits are not always up to sniff. as much as i hate to admit it, showers help. i can't tell you how many times i've sat at a godfeels chapter or video script and just felt fucking miserable, only to come back forty minutes later from a shower, full of creative energy. i despise self-help shit. just not a fan of the culture of positive attitude wellness check stuff because you can't self examine your way out of your class position. sometimes the problem is that you're broke. sometimes life fucking sucks and you just don't have the art in you, and that's okay. there's a common misconception that if something bad happens to you, at least you can make an art to get through it. but in my experience it's actually a lot harder to make art about bad times when you're still in them. most of the time it takes months if not years of safety and recovery before you can really face it head on artistically. so like, be nice to yourself. it's not your fault that you live in a society.

but also sometimes literally you just need a shower or to eat some leftovers or to go to fucking bed. i hate it every time that is true because i want my problems to be real and philosophical and not just some dumb body thing that happens to everyone. alas, no one can escape the quotidian obligations of simple mortality.

THAT SAID! this stuff isn't usually my problem, and often i find that what's solving the problem when i do step away to eat/drink/shower isn't even the specific activity, but the act of stepping away at all. getting my mind off it for a sec. when i hit a block that doesn't feel completely insurmountable, i like to back away from my computer and pace around a bit. then i'll stare at my big whiteboard with a marker in hand and just let my mind wander. i don't even write anything half the time! but the mere act of trying to compartmentalize the problem into something brief enough for shorthand helps me spot the pain points.

one of my favorite books is Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, which despite what you might assume from its title is NOT a self-help book but instead a work of philosophy from 1974 taking the form of a travelogue. what Robert Pirsig explores in this book is what he calls the Metaphysics of Quality. basically he's trying to understand the split-second judgments we make of things we like and things we don't. i absolutely do not have time to go into the specifics, just know that his Quality refers to the abstract certainty you have when something is Good or Right or Correct or Qualitatively True. like how you pull your hand away unconsciously when you touch a hot stove, but for ideas. you just Know.

a scene that really sticks with me from that book (probably the most famous scene) is when Pirsig describes needing to fix a mechanical problem with his motorcycle only to be stopped dead in his tracks by a stripped screw keeping him from removing the engine cover. he talks about being so focused on the obvious solution to the primary complex problem that, on encountering a smaller, simpler problem that has to be dealt with first, he finds himself completely stuck, calling this "a zero of consciousness." it's a problem so annoying and minuscule and stubbornly unsolvable that you just want to hit the thing with a wrench and throw it in a river. addressing this new problem, this block, requires an adjustment in thinking. and here i'm going to quote a pretty lengthy passage, but don't worry, i'm typing it out by hand with the book in front of me so there's no time saved on my end:

Consider, for a change, that this is a moment to be not feared but cultivated. If your mind is truly, profoundly stuck, then you may be much better off than when it was loaded with ideas. The solution to the problem often at first seems unimportant or undesirable, but the state of stuckness allows it, in time, to assume its true importance. It seemed small because your previous rigid evaluation which led to the stuckness made it small. But now consider the fact that no matter how hard you try to hang on to it, this stuckness is bound to disappear. Your mind will naturally and freely move toward a solution. Unless you are a real master at staying stuck you can't prevent this. The fear of stuckness is needless because the longer you stay stuck the more you see the Quality-reality that gets you unstuck every time. What's really been getting you stuck is the running from the stuckness [. . .] Stuckness shouldn't be avoided. It's the psychic predecessor of all real understanding. An egoless acceptance of stuckness is a key to an understanding of all Quality, in mechanical work as in other endeavors. It's this understanding of Quality as revealed by stuckness which so often makes self-taught mechanics so superior to institute-trained men who have learned how to handle everything except a new situation. Normally screws are so cheap and small and simple you think of them as unimportant. But now, as your Quality awareness becomes stronger, you realize that this one, individual, particular screw is neither cheap nor small nor unimportant. Right now this screw is worth exactly the selling price of the whole motorcycle, because the motorcycle is actually valueless until you get the screw out. With this re-evaluation of the screw comes a willingness to expand your knowledge of it. [. . .] What your actual solution is is unimportant as long as it has Quality. Thoughts about the screw as combined rigidness and adhesiveness and about its special helical interlock might lead naturally to solutions of impaction and use of solvents. That is one kind of Quality track. Another track may be to go to the library and look through a catalog of mechanic's tools, in which you might come across a screw extractor that would do the job. Or to call a friend who knows something about mechanical work. Or just to drill the screw out, or just burn it out with a torch. Or you might just, as a result of your meditative attention to the screw, come up with some new way of extracting it that has never been thought of before that beats all the rest and is patentable and makes you a millionaire five years from now. There's no predicting what's on that Quality track. The solutions all are simple-- after you have arrived at them. But they're simple only when you know already what they are.

this is, in brief, my entire creative philosophy when it comes to writer's block. i share such a lengthy passage because i think it's useful to underline that we're not talking about a problem that is necessarily unique to the labor of writing. this process is a human process. it's just that with writing, the nature of the block itself is often much more difficult to identify than a stripped screw.

there's a couple things i do to try to identify what's got me stuck. a lot of times what happens is that everything in a scene felt good until it didn't, and then everything after that moment fell flat. so i'll go back and read the whole thing and just try to feel the scene. is everyone in character? is their dialogue too quippy, or too aggressive, too expository? are we in the midst of a conversation that has simply gone on way too fucking long? i know it can be torturous to reread your own stuff but idk what else to say except get used to it. especially when you're still early in the drafting phase! like if you know you're not gonna release this thing imminently, there's no reason to be precious about the stuff that's good or to beat yourself up over the stuff that's bad. i know that compulsion to try to Get Everything Right The First Time is strong, but it's completely unsustainable.

sometimes the block is that i just don't feel like writing narration. i've always sucked at grounding a scene with descriptions of the place. lately i'm trying to get away from relying solely on descriptions of staging/blocking, but it's hard for a bitch like me who mostly prefers writing dialogue. i've gotten a lot more comfortable with putting notes between dialogue exchanges like [character moves, looks at picture, has a dramatic thought, other character fiddles with object]. it can feel like cheating sometimes but it's not. there's no such thing. no one will know the route you took to get to the end. they will only see what you show them, when you decide to show it to them.

sometimes the block is in some minor or major betrayal of the story's spirit. the (Terezi) & Jade scene i talked about in this ask is a good example. i hit a point where nothing was working anymore. no one would talk to me. the light was gone. i can always tell when i made the wrong choice. it's such a particular sensation. as though i'm walking and i realize i no longer recognize the road i'm on and must've made a wrong turn somewhere. the solution to this particular block is introspection, retracing my steps, because the wrong turn isn't always obvious. maybe it's that someone in the scene is being too mean, or that i've failed to accomplish what the scene exists to do in some way, or that someone's made an uncharacteristic choice that now everyone in the scene is arguing about and it's like, man, this is taking too long, i'm not enjoying this anymore.

another example from A1 is the second half of the solo. i'd had most of the jasprose scene, the karkat-calliope-roxy scenes, and the vrisrezi-jade scenes written since i posted the A1 chorus. where i ran into trouble was that i needed to get jane, jake, and (terezi) to show up. my original plan was to have them arrive one by one, thus allowing their individual dramas a moment in the spotlight before being subsumed into the group. not a bad idea in theory but in practice it was fucking tedious. here we have a bunch of characters already immersed in the scene captured by the intrigue of Jade being enigmatic, and then some unawares jagoff wanders in and suddenly everyone has to stop what they're doing and be like "hey hello how are you what's up" and then they explain how they got there and then they ask what's up and it's such a DRAG. honestly i would say the majority of my creative blocks by volume are moments when the story really wants me to just cut to black for a smoke break and come back when somebody gets mad enough to throw a punch. i mean that's the the development of A1 in a nutshell. originally everyone was gonna start the track locked up in space-jail on the hopebringer, jade would show up all apologetic and say what she expects padua's deliberation to be, then the whole cast would see her throw a fit over a decision she knew was coming, they'd all be absolved of guilt and let free, then they'd all argue about who's staying or going with Jade in the morning, they'd split up to go pack their stuff and then...

well that was exactly the problem. i wanted to get all the pertinent things out of the way. jade's code switching, voidthought, some EWL teases. give the whole cast a chance to react to it. i thought that would be expedient, because it got the Plot out of the way and gave time to characters for Feelings. if that version of the scene had come at the end of chapter 8, it might have worked. but i realized that as soon as jade's audience was no longer captive, i had no fucking clue what to do with them anymore. we already knew who would go with jade, so acting like that's some kind of mystery is just lame. i started writing A1 from a place of desiring informational density & a quick pace, because we've got places to go and things to do. but if the real purpose of A1 is to explore why these characters choose to go with Jade, then that needed to be done with a lot more care and precision. that's when i decided to let Jade spend two days underground making the earth right again, so that she has to come to everyone individually rather than the other way around. and it muddies her motivations, if you don't mind the pun. it puts her at an appropriate remove from the others. i ultimately wound up conveying all the same information as in the original version, but i did it in a way that was more appropriate thematically and artistically. it wound up being longer road than i anticipated, but this is a long story and in this case the longer road was better for the journey.

take the chapter where Jade visits Roxy. i needed some time with Roxy alone to set the scene, since she's the first person Jade decides to visit and i like writing about the insides of trailer homes. i wanted to get some politics from Jane in this chapter, so hey, why not throw in a televised speech? oh, and then i can have some tucker carlson types remind us that Earth C is a fucking mess. i wrote all that, and it was good, but it was just Roxy watching tv. i tried to get into Jade's arrival and couldn't. so i went back and realized, oh, Roxy should be yelling at the tv the whole time! now we get Jane's politics, Roxy's reactions to those politics, as well as bits and pieces of context re: Jane's relationships with Karkat and Roxy. now when Jade arrives, we can play with the question of whether she heard the speech from outside Roxy's door, and why neither of them was physically at the speech in the first place. there's tension and imbalance in Roxy's state of mind when Jade does arrive, so we're more inside her perspective than we usually are, which in turn helps us identify with her when Jade starts infodumping about antimemes.

so often for me, working through a block is a matter of doing a better job utilizing what's available to you. going back to the A1 solo and trying to bring Jake, Jane, and (Terezi) into the scene. i finally returned to it after a couple months of being sick and dealing with life problems. i was frustrated because i'd hoped to be several tracks in to 3.2 by now, and instead i was confronted with just how much more of this thing is left and how long that might take if i couldn't pick up the pace. this thing NEEDED to get done.

and then i remembered that Jasprose is literally right there.

and that was it! problem fucking solved! i had jasprose drop all three of them into the scene completely unceremoniously using manic teleportation through a fenestrated plane, and from there the entire rest of the chapter erupted out of me in a single go. it's such an obvious solution to the problem that you as reader probably assumed it was the plan from the very beginning. but it's like Pirsig says: the solutions all are obvious-- after you've arrived at them.

then there's the problem of overwriting. i actually did i think four different versions of the opening to the A1 solo. the first person narration was a late addition. i tweaked that scene so so so many times. it kept feeling close but not quite. when i did the thing where i reread to find where the block happened, instead of actually reading the thing i just kept finding spots where i could write more. i can extend this anecdote. this line could be better. maybe a comma here would work better than an ellipsis...

this can be good because sometimes what's blocking you is that you skipped over something that needed more time. maybe some information or a dramatic emphasis that gives the stuff you can't yet write the momentum it needs to get going again. but i've gotta be real careful doing this, because i can do it forever. and then, as you describe (hey look, i'm actually talking about your specific problem now!), that hyper-polished section sets everything else up to fail by comparison.

i think the trick is knowing the difference between when a scene needs an editing pass vs when a scene just straight up isn't working. when it's not working, sometimes you do just have to throw it all out and start over. but if it's good enough that you feel like all it's missing is better dialogue and some more description, then you can hold off on that polish until the rest of the thing is done. this conundrum is most common at the beginning of a chapter or story in my experience, precisely as a result of the process i've been describing this whole time. when you hit a block and retrace your steps, you can always find things to fix. so it's sort of natural that any given chapter becomes less polished the further along you get in to it. that's why it's so important to understand the differences between all these different types of blocks, and to remind yourself that literally nothing you've written is finished until the moment you've made it public.

a big part of getting the A1 solo out the door was me swallowing my desire for perfection in every exchange and saying, no, this is good enough. it's not 100% what i want, but it's close enough that it just isn't worth the effort it would take to get there. sometimes there are scenes that are worth that effort, but they are always rarer than you think and they're never the ones you'd expect. i will freely admit that there are a lot of characters expositing their motivations in this chapter. i tried to embed as much of that in humor or drama as i could, but sometimes you just have to shrug your shoulders and walk away and hope your readers will be nice to you.

of course the funny thing is, once i finished the chapter and had all the panels sketched out and wiped my hands clean of the whole affair, janet needed two weeks to make the images. so i ended up having time to polish up a couple of those things that i felt were lacking after all. but those additions were radically small and intuitive, because i'd divorced myself from the raw production and had committed to so many directions that i *couldn't* change much. i'm so used to writing for release that i don't know what to do with myself when my part of the job is done before i can kick it out the door. i've come to find that waiting, taking breaks, walking away and coming back, do wonders for your ability to egolessly examine your work and identify what's wrong. sometimes you just need a day or two to sleep on it.

and sometimes you realize that you've really just over-written a scene, out of preciousness or insecurity or whatever else, and the result is so much bigger than everything else you want to do that it's more expedient to just scrap it. i hate when this happens, man. i did this with an early version of the A1 chorus, when Jade is stuck in space alone and shouting about how unfair her life has been. you know sometimes there's an emotion in a scene that's addictive. some bit of pathos that you just feel down to your bones, fuck me man, this is so GOOD, this is so JUICY, this shit has QUALITY. it's so good you don't want it to be finished. so you keep writing it, and writing it, and you rewrite it, and you add to it, because you really want to squeeze every drop of emotion you can from the thing. and then you wind up with a bloated melodramatic mess that's so overplayed you've annihilated everything that compelled you to write it in the first place.

i want to be clear that this isn't wasted work. nothing you ever put to the page, no matter how ultimately useless it might prove to be, is wasted work. the way i see this whole process, top to bottom, is that there's this thing. i don't know what it is, but it's there. maybe it starts with an image, or a line of dialogue, or a relationship, or a natural vista, whatever. it can be anything. what matters is it's a sign pointing you in a direction. it's something that has Quality that you can feel with such potent immediacy that you have no choice but to write it. the act of writing is something of an expedition, because the real magic of it comes when those disparate signs start colliding with one another. an image becomes a scene, a house, a world, a universe. sometimes these signs lead to dead ends, but with experience you learn to tell the dead ends from the rough patches. you learn how to make your own way. you do this by listening to what this thing is telling you. every story i've ever written has known better than me what it wants. i can impose so much onto it, i control 90% of the process at least. but that other 10% cannot, should not be quantified or controlled but simply understood. if you try to bottle the flame, you'll just end up snuffing it out.

no artist really knows why they do what they do or how they're able to pull it off. they can tell you their methods, their process, their coping mechanisms, they can write ludicrously lengthy diatribes on tumblr in response to an innocuous ask, but you can't pin down the soul of the thing. Quality is ephemeral, because it's first. it happens before you've had time to think, like putting your hand on a hot stove. you just know. and you have to trust that knowledge to carry you forward, not second guess it too much, not try to wrangle the thing into a shape it doesn't want to assume. sometimes this requires writing scenes that you don't love, because it's easier to build a messy bridge between the moments that drive you than it is to perfect every single moment out of an artificial commitment to like, Being A Good Writer or whatever.

a lot of this is just practice. you get better at communicating with your creative impulses. but also i think it helps to internalize that nobody sees the rough drafts, nobody sees the duct tape. and nobody knows the perfect vision you'll be convinced you failed to meet. nobody has ever made a perfect thing, and no one ever will. who wants to be perfect, anyway? godfeels wouldn't be what it is if i wasn't willing to let it be messy. if i'd tried to do it better, it never would have gotten done, and nothing i'm doing now would have even conceptually gotten to exist.

also, it's okay to abandon shit when it stops feeling good. i have so many unfinished books kicking around from my 20s, dude. i feel bad about some of them, but ten years not finishing books is still ten years spent writing. it's actually quite rare for good ideas to result in finished works, because good ideas are cheap and they're not all for you. but you gotta keep trying anyway because sooner or later you'll catch a spark that has real gas, and if you've done the work you'll be ready for it. it'll feel like destiny. it'll feel like magic, how matched that idea is to your skill level. but it won't be magic, it'll be skill. if you hadn't put the work in to know how to follow that intuition, it'd be just as dead an end as everything else you never finished. you do the work so that when you get lucky you can take advantage of it. so in that context, writing is quite low stakes. if it's not good enough, fuck it, try something else!

anyway i hope there's some decent insight buried in here somewhere. thanks for such a good question!

#sarahposts #writing advice #writing tips #homestuck #godfeels #zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance #robert pirsig #metaphysics #writer's block #creative block #art block

72 notes · View notes