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#i'd like to know why my anxiety fucks me up
firephoenix2305 · 19 hours
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So, an idea for a Good Omens Human AU hit me and, in true me fashion, it just refuses to leave my brain.
SO
If I were to write a silly, fluffy, strangers-to-friends-to-lovers human AU where Serpent a.k.a Crowley is a rock/pop singer (I was thinking like a cover artist, because I can't go writing thousands of original songs for this guy, that would require too many of my braincells. Though there would be an explanation as to why Crowley doesn't sing original stuff, eventually) and Aziraphale is a much less-known, very shy and private, but jaw-droppingly talented opera singer, known as the "Angel of Eden" given his tendency to perform in said theater; and in which they meet because Aziraphale is dragged to one of Serpent's concerts by his best friend Anathema....
...would...would anybody object to that?...
And of course Crowley has anxiety and self-esteem and such problems behind his demonic, cool-and-aloof on-stage persona, 'cause that's my signature. (I'm not quite sure why, nervous breakdowns and the like just always end up happening in my stories. Should I be worried...?)
But anyway! I'm trailing off!
Would...um...would I...have the fandom's blessing? Or at least one bored soul who'd read it just to pass the time?
...
Have I actually already written a whole chunk of what would be the first chapter? Possibly.
Will I share a little so you can see my vision? Sure!
[For context, this takes place in the midst of Serpent's concert, which Aziraphale is attending with Anathema]
- Right! - he sighed into the microphone - I like rock as much as the next guy, but if I keep shouting like a fucking maniac I'll finish snapping my bitchy little vocal cords in half! - laughter echoed through the crowd, making Serpent smile - So, let's try not to do that and sing something slower, yeah? -
To Aziraphale's surprise, the man circled around the piano and sat down on the stool, placing his hands elegantly on the keys. He played a couple of loose notes and addressed his audience again.
- What should we go for? Hm?- he said softly into the microphone before letting out a quiet chuckle as the crowd erupted in applause - Oh, shut the fuck up! I know exactly what you want, you bastards! - he playfully snapped at them.
Then, his slim fingers began moving on the keys as if they had always been meant to be there, leaving Aziraphale near breathless. After a few notes, he began to sing, and the audience exploded.
You know the distance never made a difference to me.
I swam a lake of fire, I'd have walked across the floor of any sea.
Ignored the vastness between all that can be seen,
And all that we believe,
So I thought you were like an angel to me.
His voice felt like silk against Aziraphale's ears, his mouth agape. With all the drumming and the electric guitars, he hadn't really had the chance to listen to Serpent's voice. And now that he could, he was completely entranced. His eyes were glued to the red-haired man, whose eyes were, in turn, closed in concentration beneath the yellow lenses of his glasses.
Funny how true colours shine in darkness and in secrecy.
If there were scarlet flags, they washed out in the mind of me.
Where a blindin' light shone on you every night.
And either side of my sleep,
Where you were held frozen like an angel to me.
It ain't the being alone. Sha-la-la
It ain't the empty home, baby. Sha-la-la.
You know I'm good on my own.Sha-la-la
Sha-la-la, baby, you know, it's more the being unknown.
So much of the livin', love,
is the being unknown.
So, eh, yeah...thoughts?
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sureuncertainty · 3 months
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at least now i've gone through an important tumblr rite of passage, watching a longtime mutual become a radfem :/
#the thing that really got me was that they were talking about their morality ocd triggering them about it#bc of the way tumblr and the internet in general has this black and white approach to things#and one of those i guess was 'transphobes = bad' which like. is not what i'm ever talking about when i say that things have more nuance#that said i DO think that the way this website prioritizing hating terfs over supporting trans people is kinda gross#but anyway this person was so anxious about it and it just was depressing bc i related to that#they were SO afraid of losing friends or being cancelled over it and i was just like damn i wonder if all terfs are that miserable#but they acted like they just had no choice but to believe this 'thing' that they constantly alluded to but never talked outright about#which i am pretty sure now is just that they're a radfem or at least believe in a lot of radfem ideologies#and honestly? i go back and forth between genuinely feeling so bad for them and being like well that's what you fucking get#i wish i'd had the courage to talk to them about it but whenever i thought about it i got immeasurable anxiety#sorry for the very long tag ramble i just haven't been able to talk about this and it's been eating ME up too for a long time#i just feel horrible. i know in the past they've mentioned too how they want people to tell them why if they unfollow/block them#but i can't. i cannot. and then i'm afraid of just feeding into their victim complex by doing this#i just can't win. and it's like. i'm trans i am literally affected by their bigotry that they're acting like is just not even a choice#ALSO I REMEMBER HOW THEY MADE A POST ONCE ABOUT HOW PEOPLE IRL DON'T TALK ABOUT TRANS STUFF#LIEK IDK WHAT PLANET YOU ARE LIVING ON MY DUDE BUT I HAVE LIKE 5 TRANS COWORKERS AND EVERYONE IS VERY NORMAL ABOUT THEM#like maybe YOU live in a bad area#but you're just a really loud minority#anyway. yeah. just. oof.#still feeling some kind of anxiety about it#win rambles
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theclosetedskeleton · 5 months
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WHIMSY POSTING PAUSED the day I finally stop my compulsive skin picking habits is the day its OVER for all of my enemies
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deicide-doll · 6 months
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julescape · 6 months
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kulemii · 1 year
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MAN OH FUCKING MAN those self shipping blogs and their mutuals are so fucking CUTE and WHOLESOME when they put on events and whatnot. i lurk on some of the most adorable interactions. i still can't understand why people make it their personal issue to harass and make rude posts shit talking people who self-ship. THESE CUTE ASS PEOPLE????? who are they hurting????? this girl says her f/o makes her hot apple cider when it's cold even though doesn't like she doesn't turn it down because it's his favorite and he always lights up when he brings it to her !!!!!!!! Sure, i can see where some lame ass with 0 imagination would go "???? what you mean babe? he's litchrally not even real like-' but bitch that's the point- THIS SHIT IS SO ADORABLE!
Oh oh! And this one guy answered this question about who between him and his f/o prefers hot chocolate and he was deadass was like ever since he accidentally burned his f/o with a mug of hot chocolate once he doesn’t want to retramatize him but they do go out for hot chocolate in cafes every once in a while! THAT'S SO FUCKING CUTE BITCH SHUT THE FUCK UP RIGHT THE FUCK NOW I SWEAR TO GOD IMMA CHOKE SOMEBODY-
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#man i love to see people writing what they wanna write#but I've learned some shit lately that's made me realize how harsh people can be toward xreader and selfship blogs#and idk if it's because i ran an xreader blog and in the past an imagines blog#but sometimes when i come across those mean ass posts and i read the stuff people say about it i just think. . .#how fucking sad and unimaginative must you be to 1) go out of your way to hate on someone else work#and 2) this work of writing can be an outlet just like any other#im not the type to leave mean comments do maybe that's why it's so hard for me to 'get it'#but the way i see is this#if you at your big age are harassing people for selfshipping and writing xreader shit- regardless of whether you deem it good or not#(bc that's a different discussion)#i see you no differently than the people who were harrassing people for having ocs what- 10 years ago?#we seem to have gotten better about ocs lately- and that's great and I'm so proud of us#but those of us who grew up in that still hold alot of anxiety about sharing our ocs BECAUSE we remember what it was like#to have ocs picked apart scrutinized and picked apart bit by bit (god help them if they were female) for daring to interact with canon cast#i know how much work i put into building my ocs- and i know that when i have the 'audacity' to ship one of them with a male character#they need to be twice as good to stand up near them just so i don't get harassed about it#I'm lucky to be in such a small fandom but I'd be lyin if i said that once i realized how big majima was in this fandom i wasnt discouraged#im not saying that people can't NOT like things- everyone is entitled to not like things#that's not what I'm saying at all#but I've witnessed these blogs- these selfshipping blogs who generally ship themselves with one particular character#(generally someone I've never even heard of) get harassed and told how their f/o isn't real/ how they should get a grip/how they're creepy#this that and the third....#and idk man that shit's not right#i see it and it makes me sick to my stomach#these people are minding their own business and someone buds in and decides that they're gonna try to deter them for funsies#i HAVE seen a self-ship blog gone wrong one run by someone in need of lots and lots of very serious help#she was in a former fandom (i won't name it because it'd be easy to find i think and people flocked to watch her for spectacle)#she had some of the same mental issues as i do plus schiz but she wouldn't seek treatments#she hurt herself regularly because He told her to#but these people?!?! they're talking about kissing and holding hands and tucking their f/os in before bed
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So I found out a while back that my therapist had added ADHD to my diagnosis codes... can I count that as an official diagnosis cuz...?
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dapiando · 2 years
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emoclone · 2 years
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honeyvenommusic · 4 months
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me back on my semi-yearly watching of drumeo vids for fun (anguish) shit specifically "______'s drummer hears ______ for the 1st time" and GOdD ALL I WANT IS TO HAVE A REAL KIT AND LEARRRRRRN IT LOOKS SO GREAT AND FUN AND I FEEL VERY CONNECTED TO IT IN A WAY I CAN'T DESCRIBE WHENEVER I WATCH SOMEONE PLAY 😭😭😭😭
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wikagirl · 4 months
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seeing one of my mutuals post about their psych eval experience and having one of my irls real time texting us updates from a psychward is kinda making me nervous about my own neurodivergency screening in two weeks
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Heat Intolerance
This disability pride month I'd like to talk about heat intolerance. Because honestly although it's not the first health issue that presented symptoms in my life. It was the first time I was like "I don't think my body works right".
And honestly given disability pride month is during one of the hottest months in the year. It seems fitting. Especially because there's a lot of disabilities and medications that cause it.
What is heat intolerance?
Simply speaking it's the inability for the body to regulate it's temperatures especially in hot settings to cool itself down.
Why is awareness important?
Because gaslighting people or worse not providing them a place to cool down just because you "feel fine" is extremely fucking dangerous.
What are the medicines that can cause heat intolerance?
Antihistamines (Allergy medications) . Decongestants (Sudafed or any medication that has the D at the end of it). Stimulants (ADHD medications. Steroids. Caffeine.) Beta-blockers (blood pressure medications). Overactive bladder treatment. Psychiatric medications (including but not limited to medications for depression and anxiety). Pain relievers. Antibiotics.
What medical conditions can cause heat intolerance?
EDS (Elhers-Danlos syndrome). Autism. ADHD. Migraines. Brain/spinal-cord injury. Sensory processing disorder. Chronic fatigue syndrome. Endocrin problems. POTS. Menopause. Hypothyroidism. Diabetes. Heart Disease. Multiple sclerosis. Mental health disorders.
What should I do if I suspect I have heat intolerance?
Reduce time outside during hot months. Keep your electrolytes up. Drink plenty of water. Stay out of the sun whenever possible if outside. Be aware of the symptoms of heat exhaustion and heat stroke.
Clothes that are best worn for heat intolerance. Loose lightweight breathable fabrics. Natural fibers. Long sleeves that protect from sunburn as sunburns will increase your risk. Light clothes that reflect light. Wide brimmed hats that shade the face and neck.
Cool. So what are those symptoms I'm supposed you be looking for?
Headaches. Excessive fatigue. Mood changes. Muscle cramping or weakness. Nausea/ vomiting. Rapid heartbeat. Excessive sweating or not sweating at all.
When should I do to the doctor?
If you suspect you have heat intolerance you can go to your PCP to discuss what medications you may be on and what you can do about it. Otherwise, please go to the emergency room if you have symptoms of heat stroke.
This is good information and all but why are you making this post?
To raise awareness. Not just for the people that have it but weren't aware of what it was called. But for all of the idiots that tried to gaslight me when I was in school because I was like "I don't think this is normal. Every time we do our mile run outside I vomit all over the place but other kids aren't doing that."
Also because people always blame me for over heating if I wear long sleeves or pants. I always like to take notes from what people in the middle east wear because they literally live in the excessive heat and spend long hours in the excessive heat. Often in clothing that covers most of their body. They've gotta know what they're doing, right?
I have some type of xenophobic comment about why people from the middle east cover up
Shut the fuck up 😊
-fae
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suicide tw
I am usually against anyone contemplating suicide but also the more I think about me and how I interact with others, the more I can't help but realize that it is impossible for me not to be toxic in one way or another (if not worse), and it would take a lot less time and effort to just kill myself. I also wouldn't be inevitably hurting people during the process of getting better.
#sunny#i just think it would honestly make more sense and be more productive#1) i can't hurt anyone else if i'm dead#2) the people i've hurt in the past get to never have the risk of being hurt by me again#(+ they get to have the relief and happiness that my death would bring them in the first place)#3) the only people who would miss me would be one friend and my mom and honestly? i have been the worst child ever to my mom#she would probably be happier in the long run. and that friend *would* forget me and move on pretty quickly#because they have lots of friends themselves and i'm not as important to them as they are to me#4) the fear of fucking up my future will be gone. and i don't have to *care* about my future at all#all the anxiety i get from thinking of even planning my future will simply Not Be There Anymore#5) i can't be a creep if i'm dead! see multiple mental breakdowns about someone whom i haven't talked to in nearly a year#(+ the embarrassment of telling someone 'you're a great friend' in a moment of weakness even though i know that i am nothing to them)#(that'll be gone too!)#6) people *can* talk badly about me in ways i'd normally eventually know about it#(always a plus.)#7) generally who tf cares if i'm still alive or not by the end of the year. my class might even get their graduation with no exam!#yk that whole deal of 'if a student dies in the middle of the year the whole class graduates automatically'#that would be very cool actually. especially for one of my classmates who's really struggling#and finally 8) i know like 3 people anyway. my death would have exactly no impact on anything#so judging from the pros and cons. why not !#vent#jesus i'm gonna have to tag this#suicide tw#tw suicidal thoughts#suicidal ideation tw#tw suicidal ideation#tw death#and eveything else blah blah blah
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mphountitled · 2 months
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𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐌𝐞 𝐋𝐞𝐬𝐬, 𝐇𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐌𝐞 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐞
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Farleigh Start x Fem!Reader
Summary: Hating Farleigh had never stopped him from using you
Content Warnings: Language, Fwb, Forbidden Relationship, Unedited, Dark Fic, Dark Humor, Coarse Jokes, Jealousy, Possessiveness, Smoking, Weaponizing!Ollie, Smut (+18), Minors DNI, Slight CNC, Breeding, Neediness, Exhibition Kink, Grinding, Extreme Degradation, Humiliation Kink, Praise Kink, Hate Sex, Hair Pulling, Rough sex, Messy Sex, Spitting, Orgasm Control, Dirty Talk, Choking
He'd definitely bully me if he was real, and I'd be in love with him
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"It's not like we're actually going to eat anything. Mother only insists we all make use of the furniture," Venetia's rambling is incessant as she walks briskly into the dining hall. You know her irritation is the by-product of the undiagnosed anxiety that comes with being forced into an uncomfortable Dior slip on such short notice.
In all fairness, you weren't doing so well either. The dress you are currently wearing is just as suffocating and Venetia's Saint Laurent heels dig into your bone. Your outfit is a velvety, laced up nightmare.
A torture chamber.
You wholeheartedly wanted to crawl into your own bed and forget about everyone and everything. In fact, the only thing keeping you mildly excited for dinner with The Henrys happens to be-
"Gentlemen!" You exclaim, before cleverly adding, "And you've brought Farleigh with you."
You all congregate at the left side of the dinner table, while the Henrys and The Henrys wives all mill about the dinner party. There are'nt any rules to things like this. It's all so self explantory.
What was not all too self explantory was your seating positions. Venetia forces you to sit in between herself and a very vexed Farleigh.
"How interesting," Farleigh barely addresses you in his tired monotonous lilt, "You're almost, nearly, just about, decently dressed." You bristle as you lower your behind to your chair, all while Farleigh shoots you a tight-lipped smile.
"Wow!" Your words drip with sarcasm, promptly halting Farleigh from flirting with the man to his immediate left - one of the Henrys closeted sons, no doubt. "That almost, nearly, just about sounded like a compliment!" You exclaim before leaning over beside him in a daring display of confidence. You place your hand tentatively on his thigh before whispering, "Am I going to have to use my rape whistle?"
Farleigh's scoff sends a string of lightning shooting down your spine.
"You're such a slut, I think you'd enjoy probably enjoy it." His breath is hot against your cheek and would be considered vile.
It should be vile.
Why can't you bring yourself to find Farleigh as vile?
With his elbows lowered underneath the table like a good little gentleman, Farleigh lets his fingers crawl tentatively over your thigh.
The games are on.
Your heart is beating at a million miles an hour with your mind reeling at not only Farleigh's large warm palm finding its home on your ample thigh but his words.
They are in complete contrast to everything you two have experienced together thus far on your stay in Saltburn.
As his fingers inch their way towards your inner thigh you're absolutely breathless. All you can think about is your escapade in the pool the evening before.
Both Catton siblings had been immersed in a very Catton argument, leaving you and Farleigh to your own devices on the banks of the stone pool.
With both your arms leaning over the ledge of the pool and Farleigh pressed to your side, no one could barely tell that Farleigh already had two digits dipped inside your weeping cunt. His hand moved slowly and deftly, so as not to cause too much of a stir in the water and give you two away. And he did it all while leaning his free hand out of the pool, cradling his copy of Jane Eyre with his eyes glued on the pages.
"F-Fuck Farleigh, can I cum?" He sighed at your agitated state.
"Not until I'm finished with Chapter 18." He mumbled almost distractedly, as if your needy voice was something akin to a pesky fly interrupting his reading.
Chapter 18, as you'd probably guessed, had never ended.
His cousins were back from their argument and his fingers left your cunt just as quickly. You had both went back to pretending to hate each other and you were left to 'rub one out' in the safety of your room like some hormonal teenager.
You truly are furious with him.
"What's this I'm hearing about a rape whistle?" Felix pipes up from the other side of Farleigh, equally dressed up all spiffy for the Henry's "You didn't rape anyone, did you?"
Farleigh's response is more of a hiss, "Of course I didn't-"
"Surely there must be more savory topics of discussion at the dinner table other than rape?" Comes the quick mediation of Elsbeth, who sits at the head of the table, clutching her string of expensive pearls as if they weilded the power to rid her of all these insolent little kids.
"Of course there is," you exclaim before turning your head to smile at the presence beside Ventia, nestled quietly in his seat like a little pauper.
Farleigh's manicured fingernails sink half moons into the skin of your thigh, peeking up from the slit of your dress as you lean away from him and say, "You must be Oliver! It's a relief to see another commoner around here." It was so undeniably petty to weaponize Farleigh's greatest foe, but the vexation of not being made to cum the night before still hangs heavily on your shoulder. And at the end of the day, you really just were a petty bitch.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Ollie!" Slightly leaning over Venetia, the boy looks pale. As if he was biting down on his words. God, his tongue must be riddled in scars.
"Pleasure to meet you." Oliver cooly mirrors the warm and inviting smile stretched across your face.
"Don't lean over me," Venetia mumbles, "I'm not a child."
Meanwhile, Farleigh scoffs once again. While he injects himself in your conversation, his hands move swiftly to cup your vagina, nearly raking a gasp out of your throat in the process. "She won't sleep with you, mate." his brown eyes are trained on Oliver's. "She's a slut but not that big of a slut."
The extreme degradation laced in Farleigh's voice is enough to have you nearly moan out in front of all your friends, their family, and all the bloody Henrys.
Farleigh knew exactly which buttons to push to have you melting catastrophically against his fingers. He knew what words could have you slipping into subspace and he knew how to get your cunt weeping.
"Jesus Christ, could we not do this right now?" Venetia asks, staring pointedly at her cousin, and not at the sight of your legs parting to further accomdate his lazy rubbing against your cunt.
"I'm sorry, Cousin," Farleigh replies, "but it's not my fault your best friend is a raging bitch."
A breathless chuckle escapes your clenched teeth, "I-I'm not a-"
"Yeah, I am so completely done with this conversation," Venitia says, before strangling the stem of her wine glass and chugging it down as if it was nothing but water.
You turn back to hiss into Farleigh's ear, "You're such an a-asshole-"
"Say that again but don't sound like you're on the verge of squirting on my fingers in the middle of dinner." His grin is shadowed by the dimness of crystal chandlier and all the little candles posted along the table. "This is what you get for being a bitch," he says, socasually it makes you break your resolve by shifting in your seat, to better grind your cunt against his fingers, even for a mere second.
It's almost enough to make you cum right then and there.
"Oh-ho!" He aims a guffaw at the sky, "You really are a needy little slut-"
"This dress is shit," you suddenly push yourself out of your chair, creating the minimal noise of wood scraping against the floors. Most eyes are on you and Farleigh slyly removes his hands from in between your thigh. He leans over the table, bringing his fingers to his lips before spreading them over his gums like you would cocaine.
"I have to go change." You say to Venetia, before promptly (and very rudely) bowing out of the dinner.
A few seconds later, you hear Farleigh mumble something about needing a smoke and your heart rattles wildly in its cage. His footsteps are brisk behind yours, and you can feel his eyes sinking into your figure.
While your feet carry you to your destination and you let your brain catch on, you're already sneaking into Farleigh's room.
"Ah! Trespasser!" He exclaims excitedly behind you, with his hands stuffed in his pocket.
"You're so fucking annoying!" Your complains barely escape your throat before he's attacking you in a sloppy, open mouth kiss. He steals the air right out of your lungs, until he's breathing for the both of you. Farleigh slips out of his Abercrombie suit blazer, discarding the material as if it truly meant nothing to him.
His hands are everywhere, with special interests in your breasts compressed tightly by the uncomfortable stitching of your dress.
"This dress..." you mumble distractedly.
"Fuck this dress." He says, and you wholeheartedly agree. Perhaps it was desperate of you to turn in haste. Lifting the ends of your hair to present the zipper to him.
"You look fucking ravenous." He admits in a grave whisper, with his lips grazing the side of your neck, "I wanna fucking eat you." He says, "I wanna be inside you."
"You have such a dirty mouth, Farleigh," the groan that escapes his throat as he zips down your dress lets you know that you may have found your way in.
As the dress spills around your heeled feet, followed by your lacey underwear, Farleigh reattaches his full lips to the skin of your back. "What did you say?" His voice is like the rough gravel encircling Saltburn and you let your eyes roll to the back of your head as you arch backwards against him. His hardness presses against your ass and your fingers weave their way into his curls.
"I said youre a dirty boy, Farleigh." He ruts against you, almost as a second thought. "A dirty fucking boy,"
"Fuck," his hands dig into your hips, rubbing you against him. All as he pleases. "Fucking, fuck. I'm not gonna cum like this-" He says suddenly before spinning you back around.
It is few and sparse moments when you're reminded just how much taller Farleigh is than you and eventide it happens, the wind is knocked out of you. Farleigh advances on you like a literal predator until you're forced to fall backwards on his bed.
He barely undoes the bowtie, and only a few buttons go loose enough to showcase the beautiful expanse of his chest.
"You're absolutely soaked aren't you?" He asks, hovering on the bed above you.
"I need to cum, Farleigh, please-" You knew it was the only way to get what you wanted. You had unashamedly resorted to begging for a man who hooked his nails into your hair, forcing you to sit upright as he parted your legs.
"Look at you," he whispers before cackling maniacally. "You're so stupidly wet, you filthy fucking girl-"
"O-oh fuck, Fuck Farleigh," Your try by all means to grind your cunt into the mattress but is doesn't happen.
"When are you going to learn that I own your orgasms?" He whispers, with his other hand furiously undoing the belt of his fitted pants. "You don't cum until I say. You don't touch yourself until I say. You don't even fucking think about cumming until I say-"
"You're such a big little baby," you spit back, "A big needy, little b-"
You're once again pushed backwards and Farleigh's mounting you with his leaking cock locked tight in his fist.
You automatically lift your legs to present your cunt to him and he groans at the sight.
"I'm going to cum inside of you." He promises.
"I want you too."
Farleigh's eyes are heavy as he slides himself inside you. He looks down at you like you were the most precious thing in the world to him. A treasure trove.
"Fuck- I need you to carry on talking." Farleigh says before shutting his eyes tightly. "Fuck you feel so good-"
"You're doing so well, baby," his hips rut inside you, accidentally pushing his cock in way too deep, way too fast and you both hiss and moan. "Such a good boy," you say with your hair finding his own curls, "You're being such a good fucking boy, Farleigh-"
"Open your mouth," you comply robotically. Farleigh places his hands on the underside of your chin before tipping your head backwards. His chains dangle above you as you stick your tongue out and he spits directly into your mouth. "Such a slut," he says, "Such a filthy fucking good girl." His words have you grinding your cunt against his cock until soon, you're both on the precipice of cumming.
"F-Fuck-"
"Such a good girl," he whispers, with his breath ghosting yoir face and the sound of skin slapping against skin only grows louder and louder. "S-So fucking good-" He whispers over and over again until your cunt clenches around his cock, promting Farleigh's orgasm with a quickness.
His cum spilling inside you has you slipping unceremoniously into your own orgasm and Farleigh wails in both the pleasure of your cunt milking him dry, or your fingers still pulling his hair like crazy.
"Fuck!" He exclaims before slumping on the bed beside you, "Get your fingers out of my hair, you psycho-"
"You love it, though," there's a teasing lilt in your voice, and all Farleigh does is scoff before patting down the pockets of his pants.
"You give me endless reasons to smoke," he says, before tipping his head back, unknwongly leaning into your embrace as your fingers coil through his soft curls.
"You'd smoke anyway."
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folklorefairy · 2 years
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having anxiety is sooo stupid
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a-hazbin-reader · 1 month
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I would like to see how Alastor's mother meets the reader (when they were alive). I see almost nothing of Alastor's mother and I feel that she is a wonderful mother ヾ(≧▽≦*)o
Alastor lovers would be NOTHING without this woman, she should be WORSHIPPED
Alastor X Reader Headcanons
✅️Romantic
❌️Platonic
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TW: None I think???
Description: ☝️⬆️
Alastor's mother was his entire world, all the love and affection in his life came from her
The way he learned to love he learned from her
So you have her to thank for that
Which is why you're so fucking nervous to meet her, if she doesn't like you then you feel like your relationship is doomed
Not that Alastor would leave you at the drop of a hat but you just couldn't make him choose, you love him too much for that
You're fretting over everything, your hair, your clothes, your perfume-
E V E R Y T H I N G
It's not until you feel a strong hand on your shoulder and look into Alastor's eyes that you realize you were panicking
He's smiling at you, he's always smiling, but you can tell you worried him
"Sorry...it's just...I'm nervous..."
You're being pulled into his warm embrace before you can say anything more, familiar fingers pushing your chin up
You feel a pleasant shudder go through you as you meet Alastor's eyes, soaking up the affection that radiates from them
"Now now, a little dinner has you this worked up~?"
"What if she doesn't like me?"
He's leaning in closer, never breaking your gaze as his lips brush against your own, his canines glinting almost like fangs-
"Why wouldn't she like you? If I love you then she'll surely love you too..."
God, this woman raised such a good man
If Alastor was being honest with you, he's a bit nervous too but not in a bad way
He's excited for his two favorite people to meet, he's excited to show off each of you to the other so that you both understand his love for you two
He's just so ecstatic that this is finally happening
Coos and soothes you the entire walk to his mother's house, knowing that you're nervous but understanding that you have no reason to be
Alastor lets himself in and you're immediately welcomed with the scent of delicious food cooking
You can hear his mother in the kitchen, the table not yet fully set
Alastor leaves your side to hug his mother in greeting, laughing a little when he startles the old woman
She's beautiful even though she's no longer a young woman, you see a lot of her in her son
"Mother, I'd like you to meet my darling Y/N~"
Alastor's arm wraps around you in an attempt to calm your nerves and to present you proudly to his mother
When her kind eyes land on you, all sense of anxiety and fear melts away as she pulls you in for a hug
She's stronger than she looks, squeezing you as though you two have known each other for years
You realize that she hugs just like Alastor and melt into her arms as you hug her back
"It's so good to finally meet you..! I've been asking Alastor to bring you over ever since he first mentioned he was seeing someone!"
Now Alastor is blushing and mumbling something about her promising she wouldn't bring that up
You can't help but laugh and pat his cheek softly, it's adorable when he's embarrassed
Together the three of you finish up dinner, his mother sending him out of the kitchen to set the table
Leaving the two of you alone
It starts off smoothly, the two of you making polite conversation before falling into comfortable silence
And then it's uncomfortable
Oh shit you're nervous again
She stands next to you as the two of you work together to finish cooking, a soft smile on her face
"My son really loves you, my dear..."
Her voice is still soft, still warm, but there's a warning tone to it
Alastor did say his mother could be the sweetest woman or the scariest woman you've ever met
"I hope that love isn't misplaced."
Oh. Of course.
She's looking out for her son, like any good mother would do
You're careful with your next words, reaching out and taking the other woman's hand gently
You make sure to look into her eyes, wanting to convey your truth
"Ma'am, you son will have my heart and my soul in life and in death. I love him more than words can convey.."
And that's all it takes, the woman pulling you in for another hug and clutching you in relief
This woman is relieved that her son found someone who genuinely loves him and will continue to love him when she's gone
And if you love her son as she does then she has no choice but to love you as well
Things are easy going between you two after that, Alastor's mother loving you a little more with each thing she learns about you
She watches the two of you interact and gains a better understanding of the relationship
She understands why her son fell for you, you're more than just a pretty face that lured him in
You actually remind her a little bit of herself in her younger days
Mother, please don't say that
The two of you actually get along rather well, ganging up on Alastor several times throughout the night
"I'm only saying! The best way to enjoy tea is-"
"Alastor, honey, Y/N and I just told you that you're wrong."
"Why don't you let the two people who know what they're talking about carry the conversation, hm~?"
"I think it's about time we leave, don't you two agree?"
NO
Not Alastor's mother taking your hand and looking at her son with a shocked expression
"You would take away my darling Y/N? What cruel boy you've turned into!"
Oh she's good
Alastor pretends to be annoyed at the sight of you two clinging to each other and whining about not wanting to be separated
Before that fake annoyance melts away into fondness and he's joining in on the hug
Alastor takes care of cleaning up dinner, leaving the two of you alone again
Which means Alastor's mother gets to show you photos of Alastor when he was younger
And tell you all the embarrassing stories
You two are so busy giggling and cooing at the photos that you don't notice Alastor standing in the doorway, face flushed red with embarrassment
"Time to go, my dear!"
She sends you home with plenty of leftovers and fusses over you like you're one of her own
"Do you need a jacket, dear? A hat? I might have an extra one around here-"
Gives you the biggest hug and kiss on the forehead before you leave, telling you to visit her often
Oh just one more hug before you go
Before Alastor can pull away from his own hug, she pulls him back to whisper to him
"You picked a good one, my darling boy...~"
You three are a family after that, no matter what anyone says, no matter what happens
She loves you just as much as she loves her boy and she'll brag about you just as much as he does
Carries a photo of you two around in her purse so she can show everybody
Literally loves having you around and is worried that other men will try to take you for themselves
You don't have a ring on that finger
Not yet anyways
Alastor's mother just has to convince him that he wants to get married
Which probably won't be hard
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This is like the only photo of Alastor's mother I can find and I don't even know if it's canon or not-
She's gorgeous??
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This one wasn't originally what I was working on but it was too good to pass up
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