#i’ve always been like this

[gender-trash]

today @combat-epistemologist forced me to go through some of my boxes of dumb bullshit from my parents’ house and i found a blog post i wrote when i was like 9 for my robot blog that i never set up. 9-year-old me was already VERY insistent that you should switch to linux and do everything from the command line

#the trashcan speaks #i’ve always been like this #also found some photos of me (small) with a robot i built #and a very careful colored pencil drawing of my desired website homepage layout in high early-2000s style

[topxmenfan]

In honor of all the Misha pfps I’m standing out and keeping my Aubrey pfp that way I will be one Aubrey in a sea of Mishas

#i’ve always been like this #I’m an asshole for this #mishapocalypse #aubrey plaza #misha collins

[thedevilsfamiliar]

I think I might have an eating problem

Or at least, I’m aware enough to know that my eating habits aren’t… optimal

I talked about it to my therapist, she will be making a schedule for me to follow.

#the truth of the matter is that I only eat once a day #I go all day without eating and then around 8pm-11pm I make a large meal and that’s it #rinse and repeat #if possible I have snacks #I’ve always been like this #I think it stems from my mom lmao #I can’t eat without her telling me shit

[stardust-kiddo]

when I was like 5 I thought I could feel the world spinning if I stood realllly still, so I would hold my breath and close my eyes to achieve ultimate stillness and I would feel myself moving a little bit and was convinced that was the world turning when in actuality I was beginning to pass out from not breathing

#so yeah #I’ve always been like this #shitpost

[marisatomay]

not a single recipe on earth is honest about how long it takes to caramelize onions

#don’t you fucking dare tag this as tumblrs aging userbase i’ve always been like this

[stuckinapril]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

#It’s just so different #even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol #in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps #if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it #esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends #no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr #u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS #meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life #this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation #like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !! #& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers #who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them #and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends #it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me #I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc #like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this #so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works #p

[figofswords]

I love how in dunmeshi everyone’s like god laios what’s wrong with you you’re such a freak and then they turn around and immediately go oh my god falin I love how much of a freak you are I’m obsessed with you you’re so weird never change and then you look at them and they’re like. the same

#dungeon meshi #biggest culprits for this phenomenon are shuro and marcille #I love when shuro is like god I’ve been in love with falin for ages shes so weird and has weird interests and acts different #and then IMMEDIATELY he goes AND YOU LAIOS. IVE ALWAYS HATED HOW YOURE WEIRD AND HAVE WEIRD INTERESTS AND ACT DIFFERENT

[wewontbesleeping]

.

#tw ed #I guess #sometimes I feel like I should be put to death because I love food so much #like I think about food constantly I love food so much #and it makes me feel like. I don’t even know the words to put it #it makes me feel inhuman #like an animal #sometimes I feel like livestock #and it’s not even like the food obsession that comes with anorexia because I am recovered and I eat 3+ meals a day I do not restrict #I don’t deprive myself of anything #and I’m still constantly thinking about food #recovery people say this only happens to people in the throes of an eating disorder #it’s not true! #I’ve always been like this #I’ve always obsessed over food #and eating genuinely is the best part of my entire life #and yeah! #it makes me feel like a Creature #I’ve always been obsessed with food and disgusted by it in equal measures like as a small child #the teacher would give us candy #and I’d look at all the HAPPY CHILDREN around me eating their candy #and think about how happy I was that I wasn’t disgusting like that #what made me like that #I don’t know #I would go home and hide and eat the candy SLOWLY to enjoy every little bit … #I don’t know it makes me feel sick to think about it #I really don’t know how normal people think I hate that I’ve never known #but I know enough to know that there’s something wrong with me. #like. deeply.

[hamsterinmybutthole]

Sometimes I get weird glimpses of a random made up movie scene in my head or just kinda hear conversations between random people in the back of my mind. They’re not hallucinations, as I don’t physically hear them. It’s almost like an AI generated movie clip. They’re always so random but usually funny. One I can remember vividly is randomly thinking of an Asian lady in a noodle shop saying “they come into my shop and say they don’t like my noodle. Fuck them. I like my noodle. My family like my noodle.” (Stereotypical asf I know, but that’s part of the humor for me)

#i’ve always been like this #it’s weird

[shorlinesorrows]

Give me a Percy Jackson who hates swim team. Who went to a public pool for swim lessons once when he was five and started to sob the second his skin hit the water

give me a Percy Jackson who is always just the slightest bit unsettled at pools because water is never meant to have the life sucked out of it and be divided into lanes or put in boxes in the ground

Water isn’t meant to be contained.

a percy jackson whose skin feels like it’s slowly beginning to burn when he tries to swim in chlorinated water, who hates any set swim stroke with a passion and can’t stick to one for the life of him

who doesn’t understand why you’d want to keep only to the surface of the water, when being cradled under the surface is everything

because swimming is supposed to be like the tides, maybe patterned, but never identical, it’s supposed to be flowing with the world around you as you please

Give me a Percy Jackson who loves the sheer nature of water so much that he can’t help but quietly despise our “pools” and their dead water with their constricted sides and restrictions on what it means to change with the world around you

A Percy Jackson who is the child of water in its most natural state, and who can hardly bear to see the way society has attempted to contain it and sterilize it and strip away its power

He hates swim team, but that’s only the half of it

#projecting just a little lol #But also I’ve always been surprised that so many people seem to think Percy would like swim team? #Maybe it was mentioned offhand in the books or something #But Percy always struck me as a person who would hate being stuck swimming laps for no reason #Like he loves swimming but he hates being forced to swim a certain way #This kid gets one whiff of chlorine and “rules” for swimming and he is OUT #Rambling mood #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #percy pjo #hoo #heroes of olympus #pjo headcanon #rick riordan #pjo hoo toa #pjo fandom #pjo #headcanon

[chrollohearttags]

meg baby, I promise we’ll all look the other way if you decide to strangle that chimera ant built bitch. I promise we won’t say nothing.

#nicki got to be one of the nastiest bitches I’ve ever seen in my life #you ain’t had a fucking hit in 10 yrs good enough to act the way you do #it’s crazy it took her being so vile to meg for ppl to get it #it’s always ‘protect blk women’ w/her until it’s somebody she don’t like lmao #and her only beef with her is that she collabed with cardi #the only one who stuck by her side mind you so ofc she #she’s been terrible and I remember back in 2017 when ppl jumped me for ‘defending a Latina woman’ over her #the same bitch that co opted a hashtag meant for missing and murdered blk women for her own bullshit #while cardi was using her platform to speak up for breonna Taylor and police brutality? oh okay #she’s a nasty witch and her karma will come #rap beef aside #‘how you got 3 Grammys and can’t stay on beat?’ #how are you the supposed queen and been rapping since Jesus was in Jerusalem but have zero? #bringing up her dead mother..you deserve to rot #cherry chats 🍒 #I’m so happy cardi no longer feeds into her bullshit and lets her stupid ass talk to the wall #all the new girls are outshining her and I’m so glad they don’t have to grovel to her #the fact that these girls just came out and are her competition says more abt nicki than it does Meg cardi latto or anybody else #her peers should be missy kim queen latifah etc #and yet she’s linking up with 23 year olds and beefing with girls 20 years her junior #guess that predator spirit run in the family huh

[ewwww-what]

friendship so strong it grants you a sixth level spell slot. I have words to say.

#you aren’t always supposed to handle doubt alone. #even if you aren’t afraid of the dark it’s easier to navigate with someone holding your hand #Kristen said ​‘I just love my friends. I love my friends so much.’ #and Fig said ‘maybe I’m not an artist. maybe I’m just a really good friend.’ #and everyone in the world wanted me to be okay and normal about it #queerplatonic love comes in so many forms and this is one of them #fig and Kristen. fig and Kristen. fig. Kristen. #also also #I’ve been so emotional about the fact that all of the bad kids care so deeply about Cassandra despite not worshiping her #‘​I believe in Cassandra because I’ve seen her!’ like they have come eye to eye with a goddess and chose the mutual friends route #god I love it so much #also nonbinary fig believers how are we feeling tonight #fantasy high #d20 #d20 fantasy high #d20 fanart #fh #fantasy high fanart #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #d20 fhjy #fig faeth #fig fantasy high #kristen applebees #kristen fantasy high #faebees #queerplatonic #that’s important to me. that is an important part of this. #undescribed #my art

[stevebabey]

Eddie is beginning to wonder if he’ll ever reach a point where Steve couldn’t reduce him to this state.

This state being… transfixed. Eddie is sure he must look like a lovesick cartoon. In fact, if he could manage to drag his gaze away, he’d probably find red hearts circling around his head in a halo, popping like little bubbles.

But Eddie can’t move his eyes. Can’t even close his mouth either.

Steve’s talking to him too, which is most definitely worse — he’s totally missing every word. He can see Steve’s lips moving, pink plush lips wrapping around words but fuck, that was a total trap because now Eddie is just looking at his lips. He tries to refocus, to listen. His eyes just wander back to what he was staring back at the first place.

Was Steve like this all the time? Just a walking around looking so damn delectable?

Or is it Eddie, just a starved man who’s been living off stolen glances, for as long as he can remember? For once, he’s learning, he’s allowed to look.

And by God, is he looking.

Steve’s not even doing it on purpose either, which probably makes the whole thing funnier. Eddie knows what his boyfriend (boyfriend! he thinks giddily in his mind) looks like when he’s cleaned up to impress. He can spot the way Steve preens beneath Eddie’s lingering gaze.

This is not that. Today, Steve is just cleaning, a usual Sunday morning ritual.

He’s got some old sport shorts on and he’s clearly grown a bit since he first got them— unless Hawkins has always been giving out slutty little shorts to the basketball team (They haven’t. Eddie would know if they did.)

He’s wearing one of his wife-beater singlets too. It’s a little on the scrappy side though, considering it’s nearly see-through with how worn it is.

Honestly, in Eddie’s humble and gay opinion, it’s stupidly hot. The dark hair dusted across of Steve’s chest is visible beneath it, the shirt showing off the shape of his broad chest. Even better, his happy trail is visible and goddamn, if that doesn’t make Eddie happy, he doesn’t know what will.

But it’s not even that.

Quite frankly, Eddie’s rather embarrassed that he’s basically blue-screening because Steve is pulling out the cord out from the vacuum cleaner.

But… but he’s yanking it up towards his chest, slow and strong repetitive motions— that take enough effort to make his biceps bulge with every tug.

Eddie can���t stop watching. The cord must be several metres long and he’s not sure if he should be cursing it or thanking it for the view he gets; Steve’s tan arms flexing and rippling. Try as he might, Eddie can’t help imagining how they must look when Steve’s got his hand aroun—

“—hello? Are you even listening to me?”

Steve’s voice cuts into Eddie’s dangerously side-tracked thoughts and he pauses his tugging at the same time. It’s the thing that finally allows him to break his lustful stare at Steve’s arms. Oh God, he just got all hot and bothered over his boyfriend doing the vacuuming.

“Hello.” Eddie says back, because that was the first word to register in his brain. “I mean- yes. I’m—”

Eddie decides mid-sentence that he’s not getting away with the lie. He pivots. “Okay, no, I didn’t hear that. Would you please tell me what you just said, oh lovely sweet man of mine?”

Ever the butterer-upper, he was. Thank God it works on Steve. He rolls his eyes a little but there’s an adoring grin on his lips.

“Man of mine,” Steve mutters amusedly under his breath. He drops the vacuum cord on the carpeted floor and leans down the grab the handle of the vacuum. “You just kinda froze when you came in. I was asking if everything was okay? I’m just doing this room then I’ll be done, if you don’t like the noise.”

Eddie adores that Steve’s taken his silence as though he might be afraid of the vacuum cleaner or something. He nearly snorts aloud at how far from the truth it is.

“Uh huh.” Eddie nods, not bothering to correct him. He jerks a thumb behind him, pointing at nothing. “I’m just gonna…”

He spins on his heel and exits left stage, fast as he can while still looking normal (he’s unsuccessful, as he leaves a baffled Steve behind him.) As he enters into the kitchen and decides to fix them both a pot of coffee, Eddie lets himself giggle over the pure absurdity of what just happens.

It’s mortifying. It’s hilarious. He can never tell Steve.

Except, when Steve comes to find him in the kitchen and trades a kiss for some coffee, Eddie can’t help it. All he ever wants to do is make Steve laugh.

He decides it’s worth the embarrassment when Steve laughs so hard coffee comes out his nose.

Steve teasingly promises that he’ll to try be less distracting, then rescinds his words at Eddie’s abject reaction (“Don’t you dare.”) looking far too smug— in a delighted sort of way. Preening, in that way Eddie loves.

Their first kiss, as Eddie slides onto Steve’s lap and loops his arms over his shoulders, fingers dancing on those tasty arms, tastes a little bit like coffee. Their mugs grow cold, untouched.

Eddie doesn’t mind — he’s too busy finding out that the rest of their kisses taste like something between sunlight and Steve.

#have; the thought i’ve been having every time i vacuum #i’m one of those bitches who just like pulls out the cord the whole way when i start #and now i say so is steve #just a lil ficlet to get my writing brain up again #ruby writes steddie #steddie #steve x eddie #steddie fic #steddie ficlet #steve harrington #eddie munson #fluff #it’s always just fluff with me innit #<3 #i dunno how active we all still are…… 🧐 #guess i’ll find out

[elya-doodles]

🫴

#fanart #artists on tumblr #art #stranger things fanart #stranger things #stranger things fandom #mike wheeler #mike wheeler fanart #byler #byler fanart #listen #everyone’s always talking about mike coming out to Will or El first #but I need him to come out to his mom first #like full on visceral sobbing in his moms arms #there’s no way there just gonna give us Karen trying to get him to open up every season #and not expect me not to want this #imagine Mike comes home already ready to snap #and his mom sees and asks him what’s wrong #and bro just breaks tf down in his moms arms #and like tells her he’s gay or he’s in love with Will idk #do you see the vision #karen wheeler #stranger things season 5 #ignore how sketchy this is #I’m dying #you have no idea #I’ve been thinking about this for weeks #lgbtqia #coming out #angst

[pencilscratchins]

sometimes i think about the very odd internet presence over the last 7 years on this blog, and i almost want to apologize for any whiplash this username has given you. but honestly. it’s a little funny

#like i’m not a big blog by any means #i’ve just been around for a while so i’ve had a few post blow up. #and they’re always weird posts #and i have been a part of several renaissances and ship creations #like zukka and dinluke i kinda was big in those fandoms #and that is a little funny to me because i’m just some guy LMAO #someone just commented on a zukka post of mine like YOU DID ZUKKA ART #and it made me think of this LMAO #LIKE YEAH BUD #I SURE DID #not art #delete later

[puhpandas]

drew them before bed

#drawing tag #gregory fnaf #fnaf gregory #fnaf security breach #tony becker #ggy #tales from the pizzaplex #tftp #detective rabbit #beckory #just been wanting to practice drawing them more #like i need the gregiry practice but. i’ve been changing up how i draw him #and i could always use more tony practice lol #this is a random au #they’re a bit older #maybe 14/15 #post ggy as always #and sb #gregory #tony #au #i also just wanted to draw a bonnie talky lol