#i’m using a Lot of tags cause i’m rather proud of this one

[ssprayberrythings]

two worlds collide | LN4

lando norris x actress!reader / smau fic 

fc: madelyn cline 

warnings: none, i just enjoy overindulging with fluff 

i got so carried away with this but honestly i’m proud of it so i hope you enjoy. also obx is one of my favourite shows which is why i decided on mads as my f/c so i could incorporate two of my passions !! 

-

yourusername posted on their instagram

ynismylife, ynloverr, iloveyn & others liked 

bored of these hotel rooms 

view all comments 

ynismylife: OMG MOM 

iloveynyl: SHES STUNNING 

ynsluvrr: IM DROOLING SHES SO PRETTY 

iloveyn: I WANT TO MARRY HER 

fanofyn: HOW IS SHE SINGLE 

╰ ynismylife: BEATS ME, I WOULD DATE HER IN A HEARTBEAT 

-

yourusername posted on their story  

caption: made it back home in enough time for the race 🏎️

*replies disabled* 

-

madisonbaileybabe posted on their instagram

📍charleston, north carolina 

obxluvrr, obxislife, maybankloverr, ynismylife & others liked 

the girls are back 

tagged: @yourusername 

view all comments 

obx4life: AH THEYRE BOTH SO PRETTY 

ynfan: Y/N ONE CHANCE PLEASE 

user5: drooling..

user7: cant tell if i want to be them or be with them 

yourusername: i was missing you big time 🫂

╰ liked by madisonbaileybabe 

ynupdates_ posted on their instagram 

ynislife, obxfan, user5 & others liked 

y/n seen out with madison bailey the other night. happy to see the two outer banks co stars hangout even during their time off 

*comments disabled* 

-

yourusername posted on their story  

caption: where could we be going now @yourbestfriend 

╰ yourbestfriend: AH YOUR FANS ARE GONNA GO CRAZY WHEN THEY SEE US THIS WEEKEND 

yourbestfriend posted on their instagram

📍las vegas, nevada  

ynfan, user20, user1 & others liked 

thanks y/n for being famous and taking me with you to cool events 🎰

tagged: @yourusername 

view all comments 

ynfan: AHHHH THEYRE IN LAS VEGAS 

user2: wish my best friend was famous, must be nice 

ynislife: wait does anyone know if the grand prix for f1 is happening this weekend too? cause y/n is an f1 fan and thAT WOULD BE SO COOL IF SHE WENT 

╰ f1fan: yes the vegas grand prix is this weekend !! 

╰ ynislife: omg OMG omg OMG 

yourusername: you’re welcome, no one else i’d rather have by my side 😘

╰ liked by yourbestfriend 

user7: y/n travels a lot and still manages to look like that? what is her skincare routine 😩

╰ user1: I WAS WONDERING THE SAME THING 

yourusername posted on their story  

caption: this weekend is one for the books i can already tell 🤩

╰ f1: cant wait to see you in the paddock !! 

╰ yourbestfriend: super excited !! 

╰ redbullracing: thanks for joining us as a guest of red bull :) 

-

redbullracing posted on their instagram  

yourusername, maxverstappen1, landonorris & others liked 

what a great weekend in las vegas full of so much excitement with both of our drivers making podium, getting to see lots of stars come out & once again securing another win under our belt towards that final championship. keep up the good work everyone 🏆

#RedBullRacing #LasVegasGP

tagged: maxverstappen1, schecoperez, gordanramsey, sirrodstewart, yourusername 

view all comments 

ynfan: omg omg omg omg she met max ????

f1fan: Y/N WITH MAX WAS A CROSSOVER I NEVER REALIZED I NEEDED 

f1updates: people in paddock this weekend said Y/N was so happy to be there and was so grateful for the opportunity 

yourusername: thank you again for having me. its a weekend i’ll never forget ! 

╰ redbullracing: thanks for accepting our invitation, hope to see you around the paddock more often ! 

ynismylove: is no one talking about lando being in red bull’s likes ?? is that normal ?? 

╰ verstappenmaxfan: im not too sure now that i think about it 

Max was quietly scrolling on his phone after the Las Vegas grand prix, enjoying some down time before the final race of the season . He was just absently looking on tiktok when he received a phone call from none other than Lando. 

“Lando, mate how are you doing after the Las Vegas grand prix?” Max asked, knowing Lando had been taken to medic after his nasty crash at the recent grand prix 

“I’m good, still a bit sore but I’ve gotten the clear to race in the upcoming race so I’m looking forward to that” Lando explained “Thats not why I’m calling though” he continued 

“Oh. What’s up then?” Max asked slightly confused 

“Y/N Y/L/N was at the Las Vegas grand prix and you met her? How was she? She got invited by Red Bull, how did that work? Is she as pretty in person as she is on social media?” Lando rambled on 

“Lando take a breath” Max chuckled “But yes she was there, invited by Red Bull. I think they just reached out to her and asked if she wanted to come. How is she? Dude I don’t know, she’s nice, kept thanking everyone for the invitation, she told us she’s a massive F1 fan which was cool” Max answered the boys questions 

“And as for her looks, I have a girlfriend however yes she looks the same in person as she does in the media” He rolled his eyes even if Lando couldn’t see him. “Why are you so curious?” He asked his friend trying to understand where all this was coming from 

“She’s been one of my biggest celebrity crushes and I was so looking forward to hopefully getting to meet her when I found out she’d be there but then I crashed” He chuckled slightly at how much he sounded like a little kid “Then I saw you met her and just wanted to see what she was like” He explained to Max 

Max let out a laugh before answering the younger driver “Well Mate, you should have McLaren invite her to the final race of the season, this way you’ll get to meet her” Max suggested “Im sure she’ll accept, I believe she said filming for her show hasn’t started yet so she’s available” He explained to Lando 

“Ohhh maybe I’ll mention it to the admin team” Lando said more as a thought than a concrete response “Anyways I have to go, Oscar and I are filming a PR video. Thanks Max, see you in a couple days” Lando said before hanging up before Max could say anything else 

Max just laughed “Bye to you to” he said out loud before going back to scrolling on his phone. 

-

yourbestfriend posted on their story  

caption: little beach picnic before she’s off again to her next destination 

╰ yourusername: they said i could bring a +1, you can still come 🥺

╰ yourbestfriend: i have back to back shoots or else i would 🥺

-

yourusername posted on their story

caption: another day, another f1 race 🧡

╰ yourbestfriend: omg you made it! cant wait to hear all about it! 

╰ mclaren: so happy to have you join us for the last race of the season! 

yourusername posted on their instagram  

ynislife, f1fan, landonorris, mclaren & others liked 

thanks mclaren for inviting me this weekend especially for the last race of the season. i had such a pleasure getting to meet everyone. cant wait for the 2024 season🧡

tagged: landonorris, mclaren

view all comments 

ynfan: OMGGGG SHE WENT TO ANOTHER RACE AND THIS TIME SHE WAS INVITED BY MCLAREN 

f1fan: I’M NOT DOING WELL 

mclarenlove: SHE LOOKS SO GOOD IN ORANGE WOOOO

mclaren: the pleasure was all ours, hopefully we get to see you in our garage more often, orange seems to be your colour 😉

╰ liked by yourusername

landonorris: it was so nice getting to meet you, we should hangout again

╰ user4: wait is this lando flirting? 

╰ user14: LANDO NORRIZ MAY ACTUALLY HAVE RIZ 

╰ yourusername: it was nice getting to meet you too & i’d love to hangout sometime 

╰ ynfanforlife: omMGGGGG WAIT I NEED TO KNOW WHAT LANDO DID IN ORDER TO WIN OUR GIRL OVER 

-

yourusername posted on their instagram          

landonorris, oscarpiastri, yourbestfriend, obx, ynylnismylove & others liked 

my life recently on film 🎞️ 

tagged: madisonbaileybabe, oscarpiastri, landonorris, chasestokes, drewstarkey, yourbestfriend

view all comments 

ynfan: OMG OBX X F1 CROSSOVER 

ynxf1lovers: OMG MY FAVES 

yourbestfriend: crazy time in sin city 🎰🍹🪩

╰ liked by yourusername 

chasestokes: living ur best life miss y/n 

╰ yourusername: you know it 😎

f1wagupdates: i know she’s not an official wag but can we make an exception cause i need to see y/n at more races 

╰ user4: AGREED ^ 

╰ ynloverr: A MOOD !!! 

oscarpiastri: youre such a vibe 

╰ yourusername: thank you thank you, i try 

╰ landonorris: send me the film pics, i need them for the .jpg account 

╰ yourusername: you got it ! 

landonorris: i feel so honoured to be featured on here 

╰ yourusername: you should, only the people i really like get posted 

╰ landonorris: is that you admitting you like me? ive been swooned 

╰ yourusername: 🙄

-

lando.jpg posted on their instagram 

yourusername, oscarpiastri, landonorris, yourbestfriend & others liked 

y/n making her debut on the .jpg account 

tagged: yourusername 

view all comments 

user4: WOOO EVERYONE WAKE UP LANDO POSTED ON THE .JPG ACCOUNT 

landoobsessed: OMGGGG THESE PHOTOS ARE STUNNING 

ynfanforlife: OMG Y/N IS STUNNING AS ALWAYS 

oscarpiastri: its giving soft launch 

╰ landonorris: no its not 

╰ liked by yourusername 

yourbestfriend: UHM Y/N CARE TO EXPLAIN @yourusername 

╰ yourusername: nope..im good 

user4: SO ARE WE ALL FREAKING OUT OR IS IT JUST ME 

╰ user5: I AM TOO 

╰ y/nfan: ME THREE 

╰ user15: ME X4 

-

yourusername posted on their story  

caption: 🧡 

╰ yourbestfriend: HELLO???? THIS IS SO RELATIONSHIPY, I NEED DETAILS 

╰ yourusername: ITS NOT A RELATIONSHIP….I MEAN NOT YET 

╰ yourbestfriend: OMGGGGG 

landonorris posted on their story  

caption: this is the best you’re gonna get with a soft launch 

╰ oscarpiastri: is it a soft launch if you’ve already posted her on the .jpg account 🤔

╰ landonorris: get out 

-

yourusername posted on their instagram  

landonorris, yourbestfriend, obx & others liked 

certified lover girl 

view all comments 

yourbestfriend: my best friend is a stunner

╰ yourusername: says you 

obx: consider us certified y/n lovers 

╰ yourusername: i love you guys 

ynfan: SHES GLOWING FOR REAL 

landoandynaremyparents: PLEASE JUST TELL ME YOU AND LANDO ARE DATING SO I CAN REST IN PEACE 

landonorris: no comment, im speechless 

╰ yourusername: youre not slick 

oscarpiastri: Y/N LANDOS REACTION TO THIS WAS PRICELESS, YOU CAUGHT HIM SO OFF GUARD 

╰ yourusername: hehe thanks for the live update 🤭

╰ landonorris: OSCAR GET OUT…again 

-

yourusername posted on their story  

caption: when he takes you to paris

*replies disabled* 

landonorris posted on their story  

caption: i brought her to paris 

*replies disabled* 

-

yourusername posted on their instagram  

landonorris, yourbestfriend, madisonbaileybabe, ynloverr & others liked 

kissed by the sun☀️💋

tagged: landonorris 

view all comments 

yourbestfriend: i’ve never seen you so happy, the “sun” looks good on you 😉

╰ liked by yourusername

ynisthebest: C’MON ARE THEY SERIOUSLY NOT GONNA CONFIRM THIS, ITS SO OBVIOUS THEYRE DATING 

f1fan: I JUST WANT WHAT THEY HAVE 

╰ ynfan: YOU AND ME BOTH 

landonorris: wait when did you take that photo ?

╰ yourusername: when you had a zoom call with the team & you thought i was napping 🤭

╰ landonorris: youre sneaky, i love it 

╰ liked by yourusername  

obxloverr: goals, actual goals 

landonorris posted on their story  

caption: when she makes you dinner >>> 

╰ oscarpiastri: when are you gonna start calling her your girlfriend publicly 

╰ landonorris: when we’re both ready, its fun doing this and seeing how people react, yourself included 

╰ oscarpiastri: 🙄🙄

-

yourusername posted on their instagram   

landonorris, oscarpiastri, yourbestfriend, ynfan & others liked 

ask and you shall receive; yes we’re dating 🧡

tagged: landonorris

view all comments 

landonorris: now i can publicly comment on how much i adore you 

╰ yourusername: youre such a simp, i love it, never stop 

╰ landonorris: don’t plan on it 

╰ oscarpiastri: not looking forward to third wheeling once the season starts up again 

╰ landonorris: HAHAHA that sounds like a you problem 

╰ yourusername: OSC IGNORE HIM, WE LOVE YOU 

╰ landonorris: BABEEEEE

yourbestfriend: can he fight ? cause if he hurts you, i go full bestie protective mode 

╰ yourusername: HAHAHAH i appreiciate you, more than you know 

╰ landonorris: i don’t plan on hurting her, you have my word 🫡

╰ yourbestfriend: good answer 

ynfan: THEY REALLY ARE THE CUTEST 

f1wagupdates: NEW WAG, I REPEAT NEW WAG ADDED TO THE LIST!!! 

user4: CANT WAIT FOR THE Y/N PADDOCK CONTENT ONCE RACES START 

user15: I’M SO HAPPY FOR THEM 

landonorris posted on their instagram    

yourusername, f1fan, oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1 & others liked 

found my other half 🫂

tagged: yourusername 

view all comments 

yourusername: never met anyone more into film and photography, other than myself..😍

╰ landonorris: thats why we work 😏

╰ liked by yourusername

f1fan: living for this 

ynfan: STOPPPP 

maxverstappen1: siri play mastermind by taylor swift

╰ landonorris: STOP GET OUT 

╰ yourusername: wait WHAT DOES HE MEAN? TELL ME 

╰ landonorris: no

╰ yourusername: pleaseeeeeeee

╰ landonorris: respectfully, no 

╰ yourusername: 😠

You looked up from your phone, eyeing Lando across the room also on his phone “what is Max talking about?” You asked him this time in person 

“Nothing” he said not looking up from his phone

You got up, going to sit next to him “Babe, c’mon I’m sure it is nothing, I just want to know” you explained, you were just curious 

Lando looked up from his phone meeting your eyes “Okay fine” he said as he locked his phone and turned his body to be facing you “Its really not a big deal but before you and I met, even before you got invited by Mclaren, I reached out to Max cause I had seen at the Las Vegas grand prix you met eachother” he started

“And I was kind of upset, maybe even a little jealous that I crashed out and didn’t get the chance to meet you, so I called Max and asked what you were like” He chuckled to himself, it sounded funnier saying this out loud 

“Okay but why were you upset you didn’t get to meet me?” You asked, not fully understanding what he was getting at

“You were one of my biggest celebrity crushes” He told you a small blush appearing on his face “Which is why when I didn’t get to meet you after Vegas, I may have mentioned to someone on the admin team to reach out and invite you to the last race of the season” He finished 

“Wait so you already had a crush on me before we even met? Lando thats so cute” You smiled at him “I get why Max commented that now, you really were the mastermind, I’m impressed” You smirked 

“Really? You don’t think its weird or anything?” He asked for reassurance 

“Not at all” You told him, moving closer to him on the couch “If you hadn’t have done what you did, who knows if we’d be here right now” You explained smiling at him, Lando returning the same smile 

“I cant imagine not having you in my life” He exclaimed, playing with the rings you had on your fingers “The feelings mutual” You told him leaning in and giving him a quick kiss on the lips before pulling back and cuddling into his side enjoying this moment. 

-

yourusername posted on their instagram  

landonorris, maxverstappen1, yourbestfriend & others liked 

never stop being mine 🥹

tagged: landonorris 

view all comments 

landonorris: i don’t plan on it, youre stuck with me 🥹

╰ yourusername: sounds good to me 

maxverstappen1: happy everything worked out for you two 

╰ liked by yourusername & landonorris 

ynfan: mom and dad 

f1fan: endgame 

ynislife: our girl found her happily ever after 

obx: y/n we couldn’t be happier for you and feel free to bring him around once filming starts, maybe we can sneak him in as a cameo 😉

╰ yourusername: OMG DONT TELL HIM THAT 

╰ landonorris: WAIT FOR REAL 

╰ yourusername: no they’re joking..

╰ obx: maybe we are, maybe we aren’t, who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️

╰ obxfan4life: the obx admin knows what the fans want 

f1fanxobx: THE F1 X OBX: CROSSOVER OF THE CENTURY 

-

that was so fun to write, i hope you enjoyed it !!

feel free to comment thoughts and/or make requests !! 🫶

#ssprayberrythings x formula one #lando norris x reader #lando norris #lando norris smau #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 #las vegas gp 2023 #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 smau #obx instagram #obx #madelyncline fc #f1 #f1 fanfic

[delzinrowe]

Love Letter - TAKUMA INO

WORD COUNT: ~5.1K WARNINGS: None. F!Reader SUMMARY: Y/N receives a love letter, sadly the sender wasn't very specific when he signed it. A/N: Silly little brainrot I had months ago. Took me ages to actually finish this. Feedback is always appreciated!! Let me know if you wanna be tagged. TAGGING @just-jordie-things CAUSE I GOT BACK INTO WRITING BECAUSE OF HER, SHE'S AMAZING ♡♡♡

Another day filled with lessons of an unusual kind passed by. Gojo-Sensei was a good and devoted teacher, but everyone agreed that his teaching methods sometimes were a little… unorthodox, for lack of a better word. He tends to throw students into dangerous situations to fend for themselves instead of preparing them for it beforehand.

Y/N was just happy that she had her student days behind her. Now she was a semi-grade 1 sorcerer. After graduating from Jujutsu High she slowly but surely worked her way up the ranks and earned the respect of her fellow sorcerers, one of which was Ino Takuma, who seemed to be just as impressed by her as he was by his mentor Nanami Kento.

Whenever she wasn’t on a mission Y/N used the time to train, either by herself, with Takuma or with some of the younger students. Which was exactly what happened right now. For the past hours she had exchanged blows with each of them, successfully winning every fight. Until Maki decided to challenge her. Without any ounce of cursed energy she was supposed to be an easy target, but exactly this made her all the more dangerous in close range.

She stood opposite of Maki, wearing a smile on her lips and chuckling a little. Even after losing their training fight there was not an ounce of bitterness within her. Maki was an astonishing fighter, she was more skilled and talented in hand-to-hand combat than any of the other students.

Due to her lack of cursed energy she focused entirely on close range combat, allowing her to win the fight swiftly. No doubt that Yuji would still smoke her in terms of raw strength, but Maki was no way inferior to any of them.

“You’re gonna raise hell some day, Maki.” Y/N never made a secret out of her adoration and pride for the young ostracized Zenin. If it had been anyone else Maki would have rolled her eyes and shrugged off the praising compliment, but Y/N was one of the few people she held in high regards, therefore her words meant a lot to the second year student.

Knowing that someone as strong as Y/N acknowledged her strength and even believed in her so strongly meant a lot to her, even if she would rather die a gruesome death than ever admit this to anyone.

“I’m working on it.”

Maki’s witty comeback earned another chuckle from Y/N. Truth be told, she was immensely proud of the young student. When she herself enrolled into Jujutsu High she was surrounded by all these amazing young sorcerers and even her teachers were fascinatingly strong. It often caused her to feel left out, as if she was merely a candle in the wind with everyone around her being raging wildfires, rapidly increasing with each passing day.

Back then Takuma was the only person who showed her acknowledgement, who openly told her that he believed she’d be destined for amazing and great things. Thinking back on it now, it might have been this exact moment her crush developed. She wanted to prove him right, that she was capable of whatever life as sorcerer threw at her.

Ultimately, she knew the pain of being left out, of not being believed in, of feeling far too weak. She wouldn’t allow anyone to feel like that, especially not someone like Maki, who was so willing and determined to prove herself.

Y/N only responded with a nod and a smile before turning around to gather her things. All too suddenly she halted her movements, her eyes squinting at the piece of white paper she spotted on the dark piece of clothing.

Right there, at the edge of the training grounds, in her lazily discarded jacket, stuck a letter, folded into a tiny rectangle. It certainly wasn’t there before. She would have remembered anyone messing with her clothes during the training. Whoever it was must have used the chance to leave the paper when she had her back turned. Or maybe when Maki successfully threw her onto her back…

However, that didn’t matter now, what mattered most to Y/N in this instant was the tiny rectangle. 

Curiously, and with careful touches, she reached for the paper and slowly unfolded it. Her eyes scanned over the lines written on it. The first thing she noticed was the handwriting itself. It wasn’t neat, but it was far from messy. It seemed almost as if someone tried to conceal their handwriting. Something else she noticed was that it was a blank paper, no lines or squares, yet the short sentences made it seem as if there had been invisible lines.

Whoever wrote this note went through the trouble of using an undersheet to keep the perfect lines intact. The level of detail for one simple note was astonishing. 

It took Y/N a few good moments of skimping over the words before she even realized what the letter said.

It was… a love letter.

Never in her life did Y/N think she’d receive one of those, let alone an anonymous one, only signed with initials, but there’s got to be a first time for everything, right?

Her gaze was fixated on the paper, as if it put a spell on her. The few lines were filled with sweet adoration, even bringing a smile to her lips until her eyes found the initials T.I..

Y/N still stood in the middle of the training grounds but she suddenly didn’t notice anything around her anymore. Her thoughts were now fully engulfed by the two letters that sent her mind into a haze. Who the hell was T.I.?

Bombs and missiles could have detonated right in front of her, nonetheless, nothing would have managed to tear her attention away from her thoughts going on a rampage.

Seconds passed, turning into minutes as Y/N kept on thinking about the initials but she couldn’t come up with anything. Even if she turned the letters around no one came to her mind. No one seemed to fit, until a certain image popped up in her thoughts. And suddenly the need for a written letter made much more sense to her.

<--With a suspicion now in mind, she set out to find her best friend, hoping to get a different perspective on the entire matter. Maybe he’d even have some advice ready for her to handle this entire situation. It surely would help her to at least get a male opinion on this. That is… if her best friend Takuma would even have an opinion on it at all. -->

“Do you have any idea who T.I. could be?” 

Immediately after finding Takuma she spilled everything about the letter she received. It took him a good few minutes to get her to slow down but once he realized what she was on about his lips curled into a little smile, not too big to get caught but just enough to seem like his usual self. Even if he was a nervous bundle of anxiety inside.

“It’s obvious, isn’t it, ‘Kuma?” This was it. The moment he was waiting for.

He was the one who left the letter in her jacket during training. She’d confront him and after hearing his cheesy confession she’d admit to always having had a crush on him as well, and the two would kiss and be the dream couple everyone would envy.

…At least that’s how he pictured it in his head.

“It must be Toge Inumaki. I can’t think of anyone else, to be honest.” Y/N crossed her arms in front of her chest, the letter still clutched in between her thumb and her fingers, as she gave an expectant look towards her friend, not knowing that his heart secretly deflated at her words.

Takuma tried his hardest not to show his thoughts all too clearly on his face. Usually, he was the personification of bubbly, open and unfiltered, blurting out the first things on his mind without really thinking of his words first. But this time he had to bite his own tongue to stop himself from speaking too quickly. 

Why did she not realize that it was him who wrote that note? Then again, why did he have to sign it with his initials only? Was he really that stupid? Of course, there were other people with the same initials as him, he should have thought of this beforehand.

Or perhaps the fact that she instantly assumed it to be someone else meant that maybe she wanted it to be someone else? Did she believe Toge wrote the note because she wished that it was from him? Had her heart already been snatched by someone?

The possibility of it felt like a gut punch to Takuma. A few minutes ago he felt happy, expecting this moment to turn into the sweetest one of his life. However, by now his chest felt tightened, as if someone had reached down his throat and crushed his heart with bare hands, while simultaneously smacking the air out of his lungs.

This had got to be one of the worst moments of his life. He got rejected, indirectly at least, and in one of the worst ways too.

“If you think it’s him, then ask him about it.” The words were followed by a shrug of his shoulders, he tried so desperately to seem indifferent enough towards this. Of course, he didn’t want her to think that this entire topic didn’t matter to him, it did. More than she even knew. But she was smart and if he acted out of character now then she’d be onto him instantly. 

Y/N let out a deep sigh, uncrossing her arms and letting them drop to her sides. As calm as she seemed, her mind was a mess. Why did she have to receive a letter like this? Anonymous with only initials to make her guess.

“Yeah sure, and what do I even say to him?” She asked with a hint of hopelessness, shrugging her shoulders lightly.

“That depends on whether you like him or not.” Takuma kept his posture, speaking in a tone that was usual for him. Or wasn’t it? He tried way too hard to appear like his normal self that he started to overthink his actions, words and even the tone he used. Did he talk like this any other day?

“I guess so.” Her response, paired with the deep sigh she let out and her sinking shoulders were a clear sign of defeat. She didn’t seem suspicious of him. Good, he had played his role well. Now he just needed to keep it up a little longer.

Eventually Y/N’s chat with her best friend offered no real help or conclusion, besides the obvious ‘talk to him directly. It was a piece of advice she didn’t need, considering it was apparent inside her own mind ever since she successfully deciphered the sender of the note.

She dreaded the encounter with Toge. She didn’t want to break the young student’s heart. Why did it have to be so uncomfortable and painful when friends caught feelings? How she wished for the ground to simply swallow her whole right at this moment.

Alas, there was no way around it. No matter how much Y/N tried to think of a different solution, she had to be direct and honest with Toge. He deserved that much.

Seconds passed and neither Takuma nor Y/N said anything. For Takuma the heavy tension in the air seemed almost unbearable. His heart threatened to burst out of his chest, wanting so desperately to confess to being the real author of the note. But he figuratively bit his own tongue to stay silent. It felt obvious enough to him that she wasn’t reciprocating his feelings.

On the other hand, Y/N felt a thick tension for different reasons. She dreaded the encounter with Toge, no matter how much she knew that it was necessary to clear the air. A feeling of unease and anxiety spread through her stomach and she took a few deep breaths, releasing the last one as a deep sigh.

“I should talk to him right now.” For a moment she glanced at Takuma before her gaze shifted towards the letter she still held tightly. There was nothing else to say or do, anything she’d come up with now would only prolong the much needed conversation.

“Good luck.” Takuma’s short nod was met with a grimace from Y/N, followed by quiet short noise that could only be described as a whine.

Just for a fraction of a moment he forgot the aching pain in his chest. Goddamn, why did she look so cute right now? It took all his willpower to keep his mouth shut when inside him everything was screaming at him to just be honest.

“Thanks.”

Without any further ado she turned on her heel. Even if she didn’t know where to find Toge, she was sure that eventually she’d run into him. Maybe she could think of the right things to say until then.

Takuma’s gaze followed her until she was out of sight. The second grace sorcerer wasn’t a coward or shy by any means, he was brave and courageous. So why couldn’t he just walk up to her and confess, like he had thought about so many times? Why did he settle to write a letter and leave it in her jacket like some clumsy lovesick teenager?

In an instant he froze in place, his eyes wide in shock as the realization hit him like a jolt of electricity. As soon as Y/N confronted Toge she’d find out that the letter wasn’t actually  from him. His heart had started pounding and he felt paralyzed when he realized the extensive consequences of her finding out. Their entire friendship would shift and become awkward. In the worst case it might even end he’d lose his best friend.

He had to follow Y/N and ‘accidentally’ interrupt her encounter with Toge before the blonde student could expose his secret crush on his best friend.

For an experienced high grade sorcerer Y/N was far too immersed in her thoughts to realize that for the past half hour she had been followed by Takuma. He didn’t even have to use any cursed energy to be as stealthy as possible. She was too occupied with her search for the blonde student to notice him either way.

Well, she didn’t actively search for Toge, no. She dreaded this upcoming conversation more than anything else. Instead, she simply wandered around the school grounds as casually as she could. Eventually she’d find him, wouldn’t she?

She had already given up on thinking of what to say, nothing seemed good or fitting. With a nervous feeling in her gut she decided to just wing it and come up with anything she’d say on the spot.

Just when Y/N was about to call it quits and chicken out of this entire situation she saw Toge walking a little bit further away from her current position. After suppressing another unmotivated whine she took deep breaths to calm her nerves before approaching him.

“Hey, Toge!” She tried not to sound too loud with her yell as she ran up to the blonde student, who turned around towards her and greeted her with a hand sign, as per usual paired with a quiet: “Kelp.”

“I wanted to talk to you about something.” Y/N’s head was tilted a little and a somewhat awkward smile appeared on her face. Damnit. She tried so hard to act normal but she had only ever been in this situation two or three times before. Rejecting someone was hard on its own, but even worse when it was a good friend. How would she even start?

Instead of saying any of his safe words Toge opted to not say anything as he only raised his eyebrows. A silent sign that she had his attention and a gesture for her to keep talking.

“The letter you sent me… it was really nice, but…” As much as Y/N tried to find the right words, it resulted in her sounding uncertain. Hopefully this wouldn’t cause their friendship to get awkward.

The more she tried to construct a coherent sentence, the less she was actually able to speak properly. The nervousness that surged through her body felt almost paralyzing, even more so than the uncomfortable silence that hung between them. But she had to say something. She couldn’t give Toge any false hope. He didn’t deserve that.

“I don’t like you like that, I’m sorry.”

If Y/N had the courage to look up right now she would have seen the confused expression on Toge’s face as he tried desperately to make sense of this whole situation. However, her gaze was just about anywhere else, focusing on invisible dots, as to not look at him directly.

He wasn’t entirely sure what she meant, but with the limited vocabulary available to him he decided to simply agree with it and call it a day. Whatever this was about would surely resolve on its own. For him there was no need to stress about something he didn’t fully grasp either way.

“Salmon.” With that Toge nodded his head, conveying his understanding, even if it was merely an act.

“I don’t wanna hurt you, and I hope we can stay friends.” Even though Y/N harbored no romantic feelings for the short blonde student, rejecting a friend was always a gut-wrenching experience. It was something she hated, even if it had thankfully only happened very few times. The anguish of having to turn down someone she was close with always hung above the friendship, similar to the damning dropping chandelier in Phantom of the Opera. At one point it might crash and reduce the remaining friendship to rubble and dust.

Although this didn’t seem to be the case with Toge, he took the rejection like a champ. If Y/N hadn’t been too overwhelmed by this situation she might have realized that Toge even seemed a little too chill about getting rejected. But her mind was elsewhere, involuntarily drifting to the young sorcerer who was now hiding behind a wall, listening in on their conversation.

Toge hadn’t exposed him, he took the rejection and went with it. Yet, for some reason it caused Takuma to feel twisted. Y/N didn’t even think of him when she received the letter, and now she had officially rejected ‘T.I.’, which made it practically impossible to send her another note. He should have just gathered his courage and confessed when he had the chance.

“Salmon Roe.” Two words was enough to pull Y/N and Takuma out of their thoughts and bring them back to the present. She only nodded in an effort to ease the awkward tension between them, even if she was the only one that felt it.

Toge pointed towards his dorm rooms, not even attempting to say anything else before lifting his hand in the air to wave goodbye as he left Y/N on her own. Her thoughts were racing and her heart pounded in her chest. The conversation had gone smooth (more or less) and Toge took the rejection well. Hopefully this wouldn’t have any awkward consequences in their friendship. 

Meanwhile Takuma leaned against the wall he was hiding behind, nervousness filling his stomach. He should get out of here, leave before she noticed that he had followed her.

His palms were sweaty, his heart beating so fast and hard that it threatened to burst out of his chest. His head leaned against the surface of the concrete as his eyes were closed. If he already felt like this when he was just hiding behind a wall then how was he ever gonna face her and confess? He, the usually cool, calm and collected auspicious beasts’ user, was undoubtedly a coward. 

“‘Kuma?” Y/N’s voice rang in his ears, instantly his eyes widened. Instantly he cursed himself for not disappearing sooner. Now it was too late for that, if he attempted to leave now she’d just follow and question him.

“What are you doing here?” Her voice was, understandably, laced with confusion. Had he listened to the entire conversation she had with Toge? Why would he even care about it?

“Hey.” It was the most awkward and stupidest he had ever sounded as he dragged out the one word greeting. He wanted to disappear right now, vanish into thin air never to be seen again.

When he didn’t say anything she lifted her head forward just a bit and raised her eyebrows expectantly, urging him to continue with her sharp gaze. Oh, how he scolded himself internally at this very moment.

“I’m just here for emotional support…” The way the words came out of his mouth seemed more like a question instead of an answer to her initial inquiry.  If there was ever an award for the worst lie, Takuma would receive it without any close competition. Even without this dead giveaway Y/N would have known that something was foul.

“Would you just spit it out?” Gone was the nervousness she felt just moments ago during her conversation with Toge. Now she was aggravated and irritated at his unusual behavior. It must have been connected to the love note, but she couldn’t come up with any reason why.

As Y/N was still waiting for his response, Takuma felt the sinking realization that he wouldn’t be able to get out of this situation without coming clean about the love letter. The weight on his chest grew heavier, his heart pounded louder, the beating rang in his ears. He wiped his hands on his pants, rather pathetically as they kept on sweating. Had he ever been this fucking nervous prior to this moment? He couldn’t remember.

Even after facing curse users, as well as encountering and successfully exorcizing countless curses, and finding himself in the most dangerous situations, he couldn’t remember ever feeling this uneasy in his entire life.

The silence between them remained for what felt like an eternity, but actually had only been about two minutes. Y/N knew that he heard her question loud and clear, there was no need to repeat it. Especially considering how nervous he appeared. Something was definitely wrong, but no matter how irritated or aggravated she was with him, she’d never pressure him. That simply wasn’t how their friendship worked.

Seconds felt like hours for Takuma but he knew he had to say something, and eventually, after taking multiple deep breaths, he finally overcame his uneasiness and forced himself to speak up.

“I’m T.I.”, as little as his words seemed, it had taken him immense courage to say them out loud.

“The letter… it’s from me.”

Y/N simply stared at him as he dropped this bomb of information on her. The thought of “T.I.” actually standing for Takuma Ino had never seriously crossed her mind. Even if for a split second she might have hoped for it, she had immediately dismissed it.

For as long as she had been friends with him he was never the type to write letters, especially love letters. She had known him long enough to learn his character inside out. He was blunt, but not brutal, open and unfiltered but never hostile. In short; he wasn’t someone who would hide behind an anonymous letter.

Or so she thought at least, which caused her thoughts to go into overdrive.

“You wrote that? Why? Did you think it’d be a funny joke? Is that why you didn’t say anything before and just let me make a fool out of myself in front of Toge?” Y/N asked suddenly, completely overwhelmed with this situation and clearly overthinking it.

Takuma knew that tone all too well, he was the one to calm her down more than just a few times, and while he was still nervous about this whole ordeal, he couldn’t watch how she doubted herself so much that she didn’t take his love letter seriously.

“No, it wasn’t a joke. Listen…”, for a moment he paused, his might searching for words as she took a step forward to her. He let out a deep sigh before he spoke up once more.

“I like you. Like… a whole lot. I’ve pretty much had a crush on you since forever. I don’t know what made me write a damn letter. I guess I was too much of a coward to tell you face to face.” Even though he had taken a step forward, he couldn’t look into her eyes. His averted gaze focused on an invisible point a few feet away.

“It’s not a joke, alright? I’m serious.” His heart hammered against his ribcage. This was the moment he didn’t want to experience.

Y/N was far too shocked to construct a proper sentence, the confession had taken her by full surprise. Neither of them dared to say anything but as the moments passed her lips curled into a smile that she tried to suppress. It was slowly setting in that this wasn’t a joke or a prank. Takuma seemed to be genuinely nervous, even anxious. Something she wasn’t used to seeing.

Furthermore, she had known him for quite some time and while he was a bit of a goof who liked to pull pranks, he never would have gone for something that could end up emotionally scarring someone.

Her heart went from racing twice as fast to skipping a beat all the way to pounding heavily inside her chest. It felt as if a fuzzy blanket was wrapped around her, the realization that the boy she had a crush on liked her back.

“And you’re really really serious?” She questioned quietly, her voice now lacking the previous panicky tone.

“More than anything.”

When he finally lifted his head again Takuma saw the smile on her lips. It was like a drug to him, instantly he returned it with a smile on his own, the uneasiness fading away and being replaced by a warm feeling that spread through his limbs.

“Good, cause I like you too.”

“You really do?” His mind struggled to believe that it was real, but the way she smiled shyly with this faint blush on her cheeks was all the proof he needed. And suddenly he’s floating from happiness.

Suddenly the anxiety he felt died down, and all the uneasiness disappeared from his body.

Y/N had no time to brace herself when all of a sudden his arms wrapped tightly around her frame, pulling her right into his warm chest. The closeness, paired with his familiar scent, felt like a dream to her.

Takuma didn’t need to say it, it was obvious that he was happier than ever about this development, but so was Y/N.

The two of them didn’t know how much time passed, could have been an hour, could have been an eternity. In reality it was closer to a few minutes, when he eventually loosened his hold and leaned back just enough to look at her. 

Y/N could have sworn she just fell much deeper for him when she saw his unusually flushed face. A sign so beautiful and handsome that she never wanted to look away. It was a sight she didn’t expect, and certainly something she never knew she needed to see until now.

“So… Can I kiss you?” Takuma asked, and Y/N swore he was still nervous, which caused her chest to feel even warmer. It was unlike him to not ooze confidence with every fiber of his being, however, knowing that she had this effect on him, even after both of them confessing, filled her with pride.

“I don’t know if you can, but you should.” She responded with a smirk, albeit with her cheeks so heated that she felt like a radiator. The chuckle that followed her words was cut short when his lips captured her own. Her giggle died down when she practically melted into the kiss.

It was a little messy and chaotic, but eventually they fell into a rhythm that felt just right in every way.

Her hands, which were still wrapped around his torso from their hug, grabbed his sweater tightly. Meanwhile her thoughts dissipated, leaving nothing else but the blissful happiness, and the fluttering butterflies in her stomach.

Everything was drowned out until a few seconds later when Takuma pulled away. As if she was magnetized by him she tried to follow his lips, leaning further into him just a few inches before regaining her composure. She opened her eyes but didn’t look at him right away. It was such a silly thing that she felt embarrassed for not wanting the kiss to end but at the same time she knew that from now on she could have kisses anytime she asked.

Her hands slowly let go of his sweater. A wave of uncertainty hit her but it was gone as quick as it arrived once she felt him reach for her wrist.

His hand found hers, and their fingers interlaced. Y/N couldn’t help but notice how natural and easy everything felt with him. Her heart might have raced like a sports car and rang in her ears like church bells but being with Takuma like this felt more natural and comfortable than she had ever imagined.

For a while it was quiet as the two of them simply started strolling around aimlessly on the school grounds. But there was one thing Y/N still wanted to address…

“You couldn’t come up with a better way to sign it then T.I.?”

“To be fair I didn’t think your first thought would be Riceball Guy.” He mumbled back and rolled his eyes, listening as her giggles turned into a short but warm laugh.

His eyes were glued to her, the corners of his lips subconsciously curling into the happiest grin he could possibly create.

They had no label yet but she was his girl, there was no doubt in his mind about it. She was hers even before he had even known it. And there was no way in hell that he’d ever let go of her.

#stef writes #ino takuma #jujutsu kaisen #takuma x reader #ino x reader #ino takuma brainrot #ino takuma imagine #ino takuma scenario #ino takuma x reader #ino takuma x reader fluff #ino takuma x you #jjk #jjk fluff #jjk x you #jjk x reader #jjk x reader fluff #jujutsu kaisen fanfiction #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you

[thecuriousquest]

Yandere Levi x enemy reader please 🥺

Reader was a marleyan soldier who got captured by them. She is being held captive in a cell and Levi is interrogating her. But she is being a brat and refuses to cooperate with him. NSFW please.

The Proud Marleyan Soldier

Tag List: @issamomma @repostingmyfavs @chickennugnugnug

Warnings: Yandere themes, NSFW, minor violence, bleeding, spanking punishment, spanked with a sword, slapping, hair pulling, first orgasm experience, inexperienced reader, vaginal sex, asshole fingering, dub con, kidnapping, prisoner of war

Master List here.

—————————————————————————

You’re not sure how you ended up here, but the throbbing pain on the crown of your head must have something to do with it. Your wrists are spread in a Y, hooked to the ceiling by chains.

You calm the panic rising in your chest with deep breaths. Panicking won’t do you any good. If you break, if you show them even an ounce of anything but defiance, you know nothing good will come of it for the Marleyans.

No, staying calm is your only option at the moment. Still, you can’t help groaning as you try to relieve your shoulders of their stiff ache. You must have been like this for hours.

The sound of footsteps nears you, growing closer until a figure emerges from the shadows. You look into his dead, gray eyes. Now, that’s a person who has seen some shit.

You know that look all too well from this fucking war.

You watch him intently as he unlocks your cell door. Opening it and closing it behind him.

“Hmmm, finally awake. It was rather easy to capture you. One hit to the head took you down all too quickly.”

You bite your lower lip, worrying it between your teeth.

“What the fuck do you want?”

“We want information on the deployment of your soldiers. Names and locations, where they’re going to attack from.”

You stick your chin out as you dangle like a fish from the ceiling. “Like I’d tell you Wall Rose bastards anything.”

“So, you do know about us? Well, I’m flattered, but let me make something clear. You’re not leaving until you give us something, and I know you’re one of the few who knows a lot more than you let on.”

He tangles up a fist in your greasy H/C strands, pulling roughly on your tresses, forcing your head down so that he can whisper in your ear.

“I have a few different methods I can try out on you and a lot of time on my hands.”

It might be a lie, but you can’t be sure. You aren’t even aware of what day it is. One of the bigger attacks was planned to take action in two weeks on the night you went unconscious, but you aren’t sure how many hours, if not days, have passed since then.

“Go on then and do your worst, Wall Rose bitch.” You spit in his face for good measure.

Levi, thoroughly disgusted by your lack of decorum, backhands you across the face. You feel blood bubbling up in your mouth from the impact of his knuckles.

With his sword, he starts tearing your clothes off, watching them drop to the floor as he leaves minor cuts on your skin with the tip of his blade.

“Fucking pervert!” you scream at him and press your legs together to preserve some form of modesty. “You’d undress a woman like this?!”

“My name’s Captain Levi Ackerman, and if I hear anything out of your mouth other than “yes, sir” or “no, sir”, then you can expect pain.”

He rounds your body, trailing the blade in between your legs, prying them apart slowly. The sharp edge kisses your slit in a threatening manner, and you stifle a whimper as you feel a cut on your most sensitive area.

“Let’s start with simple questions. We already know your side is planning an attack. Is it a small scale attack?”

You grit your teeth. “Go to hell!”

Levi chuckles and feels the freshly made cut on your puss, causing you to sharply inhale as his fingers explore the region. You squeeze your eyes shut, pulling on your taut chains.

“No, stop it!”

You try to kick him, step on his foot, anything! He spanks you with the flat of his sword as a warning, and holy fucking hell does it hurt! You stomp your foot, feeling another hit right below the last one.

Shaking your head, you dance on your feet, trying to avoid each searing strike. He stops at five and allows you to breathe.

“Ready to answer my question?”

You look at him with utter bewilderment and disdain. “No, it’s not a small scale attack, dipshit.”

He lands a strike to the outside of your thigh with the same flat side of his sword, and it makes you rock on your toes with the heat of the smack.

“You’ll call me ‘sir’ or-“

“Or I can expect pain…” you finish for him with a disgruntled voice.

“So, you are listening. That’s good at least. Why don’t we try the question again until you get it right? Is the attack small scale?”

He taps his sword against your skin, warning you what will happen if you don’t comply.

“No…it’s not a small attack…sir.” The word tastes of defeat, and you don’t like it.

“Good girl. How many soldiers are in the attack, then?”

This, however, is something you don’t wish to disclose to Levi. Instead, you keep silent, not opting for insults or submission.

After multiple spanks with the flat of his sword, working his way up to forty, you still bite down on your lip, not daring to divulge anymore information. It hurts beyond words, an unparalleled type of excruciating flame in your skin, yet you force yourself to keep quiet, to shove the sob trying to climb out of your throat all the way down.

Then, the strikes come to a halt, and you breathe with relief. You look over your shoulder at him, panting from the harsh punishment. All the captain does is drop his sword and walk up behind you, hands rustling against the buttons of his white pants.

You feel him part your cheeks with both hands, and you try to drag yourself away from him.

“Wait, no, what are you doing?! Get off of me!”

“I told you already that I have a list of methods I’d like to try out and all the time in the world to spend focusing on you.”

He impales you with his cock in one sharp thrust, using the blood on your pretty little cunt as lube to slip in easily. He doesn’t give a fuck if you want this or not, but he doesn’t like a dry pussy.

Levi grabs you by your hips, digging his fingers into your soft and exposed flesh. He clutches you harshly, drawing your hips into him, pushing you away only to bring them back again. The rough handling is sure to leave bruises on you once he’s done.

His cock goes in deeper and deeper, driving forward like a plow. You can feel him pressing against that spot in your tummy, and you look down, watching a bulge in your lower stomach form. You cry out, not sure if you want him to stop because of how good this is feeling.

Maybe, you’d want him to stop if he wasn’t making you feel this blissed out, but the short man has something to make up for his height in his pants, and your tongue hangs out for him. You part your legs farther, allowing him to get in there even deeper.

“Do you think you’re the first brat I’ve met? The first one I’ve had to deal with?” His arm wraps around your neck, cutting your air supply off somewhat. “I know what you need, same as every other little shit I’ve had to deal with.”

He presses his thumb against your tight asshole and spurs it inside.

It feels weird at first, but you can’t say you don’t like it. It’s just different, makes you squirm on his dick and digit, makes you wet despite the blood pouring from the cut on your swollen slit.

“Fuck, Levi, sir!”

“Yeah, fucking sir is right. Who’s your sir?”

“You! You’re my sir!”

His ministrations stop, and you whine as he pulls out. He wipes his thumb off on your thigh, making a show of it. He stands there, completely nude, and fuck it’s like an artist created him.

Though short in stature, he’s chiseled to perfection. Strong arms and abs, even his thighs are muscular. And what’s between them has you drooling. A long and hard cock with a fat and pink mushroom tip, curved upwards.

His fingers find your locks, now wet with sweat. He pulls you in close and gazes at you with dark and stormy skies. “How many soldiers are going to be deployed for the upcoming attack?”

“A thousand, sir! Please?”

You’re so cock hungry for him to fill you up. You’ll do anything to get him back in between your legs.

“When is it going to take place?”

You whine blatantly to his face. “Please?!”

He tsks and slaps your wet cunt. “Answer my question.”

“The 19th! Sir…please?”

“How do they plan to attack? An invasion? Gorilla warfare? Flanking? Are they going to try to bomb our camp?”

You rub your thighs together in a needy manner. “Bombing and surrounding the camp. They want to strike you during the night at one am.”

Levi lets go of your tresses. “Anything else I should know?”

You lean into his touch. “They plan to cut off your food supply too.”

“How?”

“Please, sir, I need-“

You feel his fingers ghost your clit. It’s a light touch, but you can still feel it.

“Tell me what I need to know, and I’ll do more than just touch this pretty pussy.”

You explain how they plan to deny their food access, and for your good behavior, Levi rewards you with what you’ve been begging for. He presses his chest against yours, holding you up by your thighs as you wrap your legs around his waist. He fucks into you, letting you bounce on his cock as he absolutely ruins you, stomping on your pride during the process.

“Sir, please! Please, oh fuck!” You cry into the air, panting and whining as he stretches you out on his hard length. It’s so good, too good to be real. Are you dreaming? You feel light as a sense of relief washes over you. Slumping against him, you wish you could wrap your arms around his shoulders. You’re not sure of what just happened, but you want him to do it again.

Sure enough, he does. He has you collapsing against him over and over, each time making you feel dizzier than the last. He goes on, withholding his own orgasm each time in order to overstimulate you into a submissive little girl for him, a cute little thing with your tongue hanging out and drool dripping down your chin. That’s the beautiful sight he wants to see.

He fills you up with his own come before pulling his cock free from your tight pussy. Levi dresses himself, sheathing is sword and unchaining you from the ceiling to let you lie down on a cot. Of course, he still chains your ankles to the floor, but he’s nice enough to give your arms and shoulders a rest.

“Yeah, I think I’ll be keeping you around even after the attack is over.” He leans over your exhausted and sleeping body. You’re too numb, too conked out to even hear him. “I might just keep you after the war ends too. Sleep well, brat. You’ll need it.”

#yandere #yandere x you #yandere x reader #yandere x y/n #yandere x darling #yandere themes #triggering content #triggering themes #attack on titan requests #yandere attack on titan #attack on titan #snk yandere #snk smut #snk #snk levi #yandere levi ackerman #yandere levi ackerman x reader #yandere levi x reader #captain levi #levi smut

[edensflaw]

What Sleep Token Has Done for My Heartbreak

I am a relatively new listener of Sleep Token, only have listened to them since August of 2023. But man, when I tell you I have fallen deep and hard for this band, I mean it. I have joined subreddits and discords, I follow tags on tumblr, and so so many instagram accounts. They're music feels so deeply personal to me. The lyrics feel like they fell out of my heart with the emotion that emits from them.

August of 2023 is also when I experienced a very traumatic separation from my now ex-spouse. They confessed to multiple acts of infidelity after trying to work through an emotional/romantic affair they were having at the time. To say I felt betrayed is an understatement. We had been together for 16 years. All of my young adulthood I was with this one person. Unsurprisingly, I fell into a heavy depression.

At first, I discovered Bad Omens. My anger was raw and all encompassing, and Bad Omens seemed to capture that so perfectly. I listened to them non-stop for a long time.

And then I came across Sleep Token thanks to Tiktok. I had listened to them earlier that same year - just once, a few songs - and I remember just feeling sort of indifferent towards them. I honestly think my heart wasn't ready to hear or feel what they were saying. I knew the pain they sang of, but I was still in deep denial about my own relationship and the pain my partner was causing me.

When I listened to them again post-separation - it started with Granite. And the lyric that hooked me - line and sinker: "If you had a problem / Then you should've told me / Before you started getting all aggressive and controlling". At so many points in my relationship I was not being told things and that led to a lot of aggression. Naturally, i tried to control things because that’s a normal human thing to do when you sense that something is changing in a way you never wanted. Like when a stack of dishes starts to fall and you, rather uselessly, put your hands out to try to catch them, stop them from breaking. Ultimately your action is useless, the dishes still break despite your efforts. And it wasn’t even a conscious effort, just a reaction. And from that point on I feel deeper and deeper into my love of Sleep Token.

The next song I remember hitting me hard is Aqua Regia. “Oh, when I am done dancing to alarm bells/No wonder my ears are still ringing/And I am done fighting off change/No wonder my arms are still swinging”. Early into our separation, when my emotions were still very much raw I would find myself still fighting with my ex in my head - talking to myself and continuing fights we would have repeatedly. Alarm bells were still very much ringing in my head and even though the fighting had stopped between the two of us, I, myself, would find myself still arguing thin air. 

In a moment in my life where I felt very much isolated and alone and removed from everything that had ever felt familiar, it felt so reassuring to know somebody, somewhere, felt what I was feeling. I felt seen. I felt heard. Especially coming from such a toxic relationship where I was not feeling heard or seen by my partner. 

There are a lot of Sleep Token songs that seem an obvious choice when it comes to heartbreak. Missing Limbs is one of those songs. 'Cause it still makes my blood run cold/To remember what I did before’ The person I became in such a toxic environment is not someone to be proud of. I’ve talked in therapy a lot about how I struggle with being the person I thought I was when I know I’m capable of such horrible things. The environment really does make the person. ‘The stories that you never told to me’ A lot of our fights were about their lying and their secrets. How I would beg them to just talk to me and how much they would absolutely just shut down and shut me out. ‘And it still makes my blood run thin/To remember what you are to him/And I live like I've got missing limbs/For you’ And to remember what their affair partner means to them - it makes my heart drop into my stomach and my stomach drop into my gut; it makes my blood boil and brain go from zero to sixty. And yet, even with all the knowledge I have now of just how much my ex betrayed me - it very much feels like I’m missing a part of my physical body without them in my life. I have achieved a level of peace I haven’t felt in a while and I am proud of myself for getting to this point, but even with all of that something feels like it’s missing. Like a lizard discarding its tail. 

I could probably go through every Sleep Token song and break down how each word relates back to me and what I was feeling. Blood Sport, Dark Signs, DYWTYLM, the Love You Want, etc. There’s very much a theme of eating, consuming, biting flesh, etc. in Sleep Token’s lyrics. I would’ve crawled inside my partner if it meant that we wouldn’t be separated. I would have consumed them. I let my love for them consume me, mind and body. I let them consume me. I trusted them so much I bared my stomach, the most delicate parts of me, and they tore into them like a wolf that hadn’t eaten in weeks, all the while telling me they weren’t. 

The emotions Vessel presents when singing, it feels like such a dichotomy within himself. There is such a longing, a yearning, for what was, what is comfortable, the love he knows he could get if he made the right (or wrong) sacrifices. The yearning is a literal pain and that pain is often mistaken for love, but for the wrong reasons. 

Then there’s those moments where the fog clears he realizes just how much Sleep has wronged him, used him and that makes him so angry, and rightfully so. There’s such a quiet rage that’s just bubbling beneath the surface. And when that rage comes out there’s almost a sort of regret that comes along with that. A regret for the relationship itself yes, but also regret for the way he acted while with Sleep, and regret for the anger he feels. Vessel's relationship with Sleep feels very familiar to me and my ex. 

There was a post recently by melit0n about the song Jaws. In the tags of my reblog of that post I put "And if my love doesn't love me anymore I know Vessel is capable of love and maybe that means someone can love me like that too".

But it's more than that. I loved it like Vessel does/did. I gave so much of myself to someone that didn't deserve it and was ultimately so toxic and bad for me, much like Vessel's and Sleep's relationship. Sleep is narcissistic and toxic and is only using Vessel as a means for their own selfish ends. And I very much feel like that's how my relationship ended even if that's not how it started.

Vessel's lyrics feel so deeply personal to me because I've lived them. I've lived that feeling of being so consumed by love for another being that I was willing to let it destroy me, body and soul. Vessel knows the pain and struggle I feel: that feeling of longing and yearning for something you know is no good for you and at the same time the anger expressed because how dare they use me?! 

This was a very long winded explanation and I’m sure half of it doesn’t even make sense. I’ve been thinking for a long time about putting down into words what this band and their music has done for me during these months of navigating this heartbreak and putting my life back together. They’ve been such an important part of it and even if I never get the opportunity to express what they mean to me to them directly, if you’ve read this far into this already long post at least someone else maybe gets it. 

Thanks for reading, friend. Because yes, if you’ve read this far and this deep into my life, we are friends now. 

#personal #heartbreak #sleep token #sleep token band #sleep token vessel #toxic #relationship #break up #divorce #separation

[onewingedsparrow]

Rules: shuffle your ‘on repeat’ playlist and post the first ten tracks, then tag ten people 🎶

@novafire-is-thinking Thank you so much for the tag, friend! This was fun! I don’t usually pay attention to my “On Repeat” songs, so it was fun to see what came up! For this game, I decided to add favorite lines from each song, which are likely why they’re on my “On Repeat” playlist right now. ✨ Lol, the fact that most of these are Owl City says a lot :D 1. “Adam, Check Please” by Owl City So chase your passion and not your paycheck; be proud of what you have And put in the work until your signature Becomes an autograph.... 2. “Let the Light In” by Joshua Micah, Owl City Why don’t we break the silence, break the silence? ‘Cause I’ve been one foot out, one foot in I think it’s time, I think it’s time to let the light in.... 3. “Under the Moon” by Spoken (this is one of my Ferdigard songs, I write fluff to it! It fits them perfectly. I see this as their post-wedding song) 💖 There’s nowhere else I’d rather be Just take my hand, baby, follow my lead Our footsteps on the sand by the sea... Before you know it, baby, we’re Dancing under the moon Take my hand and spin me around As long as I’m next to you, not a thing can bring us down... 4. “Supernova Sunrise” by We Are Leo (Hello—hello oh ohh ohhh, Supernova) (Hello—hello, oh ohh ohhh, Supernova) I’ve been waiting all my life; I’ve been waiting all this time I’ve been waiting all my life; I’ve been waiting all this time.... 5. “Captains of the Sky” by Sky Sailing Keeping the midnight stars held high We are captains of the sky Waving goodbye... Hello, down there! 6. “My Arms” by Ledger (This song is very...Optimus Prime & Arcee to me. But it goes...deeper than that, of course.) So let me see the hurt underneath; I’m not a stranger to pain ’Cause I believe in what you can be; I’ll never turn away The light inside your eyes is fading out But I’m not gonna give up on you now... It’s okay to fall apart Just fall into My arms.... 7. “Learning to Fly” by Hills x Hills (Wonder where I got this one... ;) 💜) I’m learning to fly But I ain’t got wings Coming down Is the hardest thing... 8. “Deadlock” by Go! Child Is it enough to look through the mind and visualize a masterful design...? 9. “Vitamin Sea” by Owl City, my beloved 📢 SO I’LL PUT UP MY FEET AND TELL ALL MY TROUBLES TO THE OCEAN BREEZE 🌊 ‘CAUSE SITTING ON A BEACH IS CHEAPER THAN THERAPY ✨ AND WHEN I NEED A VACATION, I THINK YOU’LL KNOW WHERE I’LL BE! 😎 10. “Wishful Thinking - 2018″ by WRLD, Keepsake Is it wishful thinking That I’ll see better days? I don’t know where I’m going But I’m growing all the same.... Tagging (no pressure, do it if you want!) @kat-of-the-night @theoneandonlyespa @zeldaelmo @aheavenscorner @mistresslrigtar @pl0xm4st3r @afaroffsong @edgeyrogues @linktheacehero @clawedandcute

#tag games #nova tag #sparrow speaks #rainy day radio

[unhinged-popsocket]

Hi hello,

I realized my pinned wasn’t very useful and also wanted to organize my blog a bit better so here I am.

This is kinda my everything blog, as main blogs tend to be. I might make some side blogs for passion projects sometime, so maybe look out for that.

If you wanna send me an Ask or a DM please do, I like answering questions and talking about stuff.

I’ll be sorting the posts here with some tags of my own. You can use the search bar to go through those if you want, they’re set as featured tags cause that’s like the only search feature on here that works. Otherwise you might have a harder time finding posts of my own, since I reblog a bunch without adding anything.

The tag meanings are:

#me post - All original posts of my own

#goof post - Shitposts, specifically image based ones

#art post - Art of mine, a lot of it probably music :3

#text post - All text only posts of mine

#ramble post - Longer more rambly posts of mine

#response post - Reblogs where I actually added stuff

#reblog chain - Self explanatory

#fave - Self explanatory

If you wanna know more about me, I have a carrd website thingy which I’m pretty proud of here:

Arguably it’s rather outdated with the info, I’ll try to update it soon though.

I also make, and very occasionally release music, if you wanna listen:

And if you actually read through all of this, you’re cool, I love you.

:3

[thenotsolittlelady]

Oh thank you very much for the tag @ghilegab hun <3

1. Are you named after anyone? I was named after my dad’s grandma Lina who he liked very much and who I’ve never met :>

2. When was the last time you cried? Awwh man, yesterday I think? Watched Turning Red with my parents and these movies always make me cry (or anything, really... I cry easily, alright??)

3. Do you have kids? No and I’d rather not, they’re just not for me :x

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? I think I do, but only around people close to me, or else I’d be scared the other person might misunderstand

5. What is the first thing you notice about a person? Oh boi, I’d probably say their outfit? Or hair, cause that’s what I’m most inscure about myself :x

6. What’s your eye color? Blue with a bit of green!

7. Scary movie or happy ending? Both depending on what mood I’m in! It has to be the right kind of scary movie tho, I don’t like these gory murder movies very much 

8. Any special talents? Man, I honstly don’t know, I’d say I’m just perfectly average, nothing special about me at all tbh

9. Where were you born? In a stupid town near my tiny village in the middle of nowhere in Germany (I don’t like it there very much)

10. What are your hobbies? Drawing, video games/live streaming, singing and playing the piano, D&D, writing (sorta) and some other shit that I (would) like to do but can’t because what even is motivation

11. Do you have any pets? Just one cat, a black one called Lucky. He’s barely home tho and spends a lot of time at my aunt’s house next door :c I honestly miss him a lot xD I would love to have more cats and also dogs and birds too ;; A ;;

12. What sports do you/have you played? I did kung fu for a bit and I like to dance (I suck at it tho xD ). I would love to do more but... motivation and also there’s nothing to do where I live

13. How tall are you? 172cm 

14. Favo(u)rite subject in school? I hated school, but if I had to choose... probably Latin. I loved all the stories about horny gods, and heroes roaming around for years after a war and stories of everyday people in ancient rome and greece. That was nice!

15. Dream Job? I honestly don’t know, I wish I had an answer, but instead I’m just here wasting my “potential” and being a failure🥲

Bonus: any significance to your blog’s name? Not really, it’s based on my usual username on the internet “LittleLadyLina” which I am not very proud of  So yeah, I’m just a little lady (or not so little I suppose)

Alright, tags! @airanke @enydaghoul @leaphia and @lemonmancer if you guys wanna do this! ; v ; And of course whoever is reading this and wants to answer some questions as well :>

#thank you for the tag!!! #i like these things every now and then :>

[salmonandsoup]

Could we get summaries of the member of the vampire mafia?

oh you ABSOLUTELY can!  hell yeah

i’mma try to keep these relatively brief but there are like.  a dozen members and i love all of them so much and i’m trying to make them all complex people who have lived interesting lives (even if i do have my favorites).  i’m gonna put them in order of appearance! and of course, this is under a GIANT READ MORE. because this is LONG. also each person is color coded just for convenience though the colors will repeat (it's just to like, separate each section). heed the content warnings where they appear!

GOD this took a while but i'm proud. if you wanna know more about the overaching plot lemme know. i'm just gonna tag this as "the vampire mafia" for overall stuff

reuben james kent - the one and only english himbo; a giant flirt, a whimsical little shit, and someone who never wants to become manipulative and selfish (he punishes himself harshly for his wrongdoings and is more than a bit of a perfectionist).  he’s AMAB, bisexual, and genderqueer, though he usually presents masc and uses solely he/his pronouns unless in drag (in which he calls himself “reuby fangz” because he thinks he’s funny).  born in 1853 in london, he was a tailor barely making ends meet until one night in 1889, after stumbling home drunk off his ass, he got turned into a vampire—so he decided to fuck around with the rich and steal some cash to bring back to his poorer roots, while also becoming quite a bit more cultured in the process (learning how to dance ballet and play the cello).  he made some friends in higher places who were also struggling under the hegemonic ideals of the rich and powerful, and so he turned them into vampires too so they could all get their revenge and escape, traipsing around europe and eventually fleeing to america in the late 1900s (of course dodging the WWI draft and fucking around with the rich in america, too).  he can’t remember what the hell happened that fateful night he got turned and he doesn’t want to.  he’d much rather devote his time to making the world a little more beautiful and a little more fun for everyone—so long as he can keep his impulse control in check.  (that causes a lot of problems later down the line…  just see what happens with feliks.)  everyone in the vampire mafia’s got superhuman abilities, but where reuben’s unique power shines is in flight!  mans can fly and he loves to do so.  he’s a sweetheart who tries to make everyone smile, but he has problems admitting when he’s done something wrong, which is where one of the big conflicts of the story comes in.

peter gibson - (originally created by @maxusthemad!) peter’s a soft-spoken but no-nonsense librarian who reuben meets and befriends when he’s caught outside as the sun rises (while in this world, vampires won’t die if they stand out in the sun, it does wound them and leave them vulnerable to attacks that will kill them).  born in the black dockside community of liverpool, he eventually moved to london to pursue whatever higher education he could squeeze his way into and eventually became a librarian at the guildhall public library.  he got roped into all of this bullshit completely on accident, though because of his and nicholas’ love of bookbinding and bookkeeping, he ends up connecting reuben with the people who become his closest friends (and becoming one of those closest friends himself).  he’s always wanted to travel the world and never had the funds nor freedom to do so (cog in the machine and whatnot), so he’s happy to help reuben cover his tracks and then travel with the gang when they decide to hightail it outta england permanently.  he doesn’t become a vampire immediately, wanting to experience life as an older man first so he can fully appreciate his new abilities.  his vampiric power comes in the form of both a photographic and eidetic memory, and though it taxes his body a lot, he can see and hear through other people!  (his powers work in tandem with the info broker of this team, riki, and those two get along like a house on fire.)

nicholas sturge - (originally created by @kotilae!)  a young trans man from an upper-middle class family who prefers bookbinding to embroidery (though he won’t say no to either).  since he sucks at math (regardless of how many tutors he has), he does freelance work with making handkerchiefs and doilies, and he’s a friend of louisa’s (their families often talk together and nicholas’ dad is trying to get in good with louisa’s father and brother, who are much richer).  they’re both trying their best to escape their families and the lives their families force them into (though, thankfully, nicholas’ mother supports him living his life as a man, even if he can’t truly do so until he settles somewhere on his own).  he’s very anxious and sweet, but also extremely perceptive and Will hold a grudge or a smoking gun against you at the right moment for you to squirm.  he holds grudges for quite some time unless that grudge makes him look foolish, and then he’s apologizing for weeks if he cares about you.  he’s a phenomenal horseback rider, as that was his greatest passion as a child, and he becomes the getaway driver and transportation expert of the vampire mafia when the brit squad is absorbed into it in 1933.  his vampiric power lets him speak to animals and “control” them to a minor degree! (it’s mostly just persuading them, but if he must, he must—they forgive him, anyways.)

eireann louisa lovelace - (originally created by @oops-i-accidentally! also, cw for familial abuse) first, she goes by louisa, not eireann; you’ve gotta be a very good friend of hers to call her that.  louisa's an upper class lady with a shitty older brother named lewis who wants nothing to do with their mixed english and irish heritage (their mother is irish), instead vying to find a way to gain the most power from the industrial hegemony possible and using louisa as a pawn and a punching bag.  both nicholas and louisa have been trying desperately to find some way out for the both of them; lewis is trying to marry louisa off to the son of a family of bankers so he can gain monetary and political power, and louisa had nearly lost all hope because lewis is the most wretched piece of shit alive.  thankfully reuben, peter, and tomasso step in, ready to stir up some shit to create a diversion for both louisa and nicholas—and so, on her wedding day, she escapes and they start running around europe and eventually america.  unfortunately, her ex-fiancé starts following her, devastated by her running off, though his intentions aren’t what they may seem.  louisa can use various bits of magic as her special vampiric power (with telekinesis as her strong suit), she's a chemist by nature, and she's 100%, hands down, the braincells of the brit squad (and a good chunk of the braincells of the mafia in general).  so long as she doesn’t have to answer for some conflict (because she Will just up and run from it, reuben and her get along in that regard), she’s a powerhouse.  nothing would fucking function without her.  she loves the punk aesthetic when the 70s and 80s roll around, and she’s a huge fuckin’ lesbian.  futch supreme

tomasso “tommy” scarlatti - (originally created by @darkysan17!  cw for familial abuse) tomasso is an artistic and crass triple threat: a hooligan, a thief, and a dancer.  he’s the runt of the family and the youngest of several sons, the scarlattis being early adopters and pioneers of industrialization in northern italy.  where his brothers wanted to continue the family trade and learned in their mansion in varenna, tommy found a love for performative theatre, especially ballet.  his family constantly brought up the challenges he’d have to face due to his awful stutter and his tics (not to mention his complete disinterest in running the factories and his sympathy for the workers). tomasso’s father beat him ruthlessly when he found him sneaking food to some of the workers, claiming he “stole what his family earned” and what was “rightfully theirs”—but that didn’t stop tomasso, and his resentment for the entire rigmarole only grew.  he eventually ran away with ninety-thousand lira (about $50 USD in 1890, and the equivalent of about $1,650 USD today) to join a troupe of dancers that travelled europe, and his father is still looking for him even when he should be long in the grave.  he’s the one who teaches reuben both ballet and lockpicking when they meet each other at a festival, and the two devise a plan to get nicholas and louisa to america and safety when all of their families rear their ugly heads.  tomasso is kind of childish in his sense of humor and constant grandstanding, but at heart, he’s a true artist and explorer. while most of the dances he knows are western european or american, he has a great interest in historical dancing techniques and theatre from other cultures (like kabuki and chinese opera).  he’s still self-conscious about his stutter and tics, to the point of being MEGA defensive over it, even when it gets him into trouble. he tends to play it off afterward, trying to use a tough guy persona to cover up his true feelings.  his vampiric power can best be described as “impossible to pin down”: he can walk through solid surfaces and phase in and out of objects at will.  eventually he learns to use paintings and photographs as portals, so long as they share the same subject!

finley v. a. seabrooke - (cw parental abuse) louisa’s ex-fiancé, and a man who was raised to basically be a tool.  his parents allowed him no privacy and invaded almost every single boundary one can have, all to make him into the perfect asset.  the only reason they supported his transition at all was because they could get more use and money out of him as a man than as a woman.  the lovelaces and seabrookes were close by the time finley and louisa were in their twenties, and lewis set the two of them up to be married so he could access the wealth and power the seabrookes held.  finley was overjoyed to have someone be his wife, especially someone as wonderful as louisa (even though they’d rarely seen each other, just the idea of someone loving him in that way was enough for him), but of course, louisa runs away, leaving finley heartbroken and terrified.  lewis stokes the fire and sends finley off to find louisa and bring her back, and perhaps to get revenge on the brutes who took her.  but the more that finley looks at everything that’s gone on, especially with how lewis seems to have some uncanny knowledge of events that haven’t even happened yet… the more he starts to try and unravel the pieces of this puzzle.  eventually, he too becomes a vampire and after rebuking lewis fully, he joins the mafia as a financial resource and one of the faces of the group, since he’s very good at talking to those in high places.  his vampiric power ends up being flesh-crafting (think vicissitude from vampire: the masquerade). 

feliks kaufmann - my son, my socially anxious, depressed son who can punch through over 13” (33cm) of solid steel (his vampiric power is super strength and bloodbending on occasion).  i love him so much.  i try not to play favorites; he is my favorite.  he’s 6’10” (208cm), 265 pounds (120kg) of pure kosher BEEF.  just… a pure wall of a man.  long story short, he’s a 2nd-gen russian-american jew (so his grandparents fled russia and the pogroms), and because he and his family in little odessa have like, ten mouths to feed and a tiny apartment, he gets sucked into the world of organized crime to try and pay the bills.  one night when he’s walking home, reuben starts to flirt with him, and while feliks is receptive, he’s got places to be.  reuben convinces him to stay still for just a second, putting him in a trance and feeding from him (though not to kill him; reuben refuses to kill unless in self-defense, and not only that, but he also refuses to become adept at truly hypnotizing anyone because the idea of holding someone’s mind hostage disgusts him).  unfortunately for them both, feliks, the eternally-anxious motherfucker that he is, breaks out of the trance and fights back, leading to a huge scuffle with him dying and reanimating as a vampire while reuben flees the scene.  now, feliks being jewish plays a big part here: because vampires can unfortunately be taken as an amalgamation of antisemitic conspiracies and canards (check here for more on that), and this happens in 1927, feliks thinks he just got hate-crimed.  he loves his family more than anything in the world and now feels like he can never face them again because he’s been turned into an undead monster who, if he’s found out, would Literally be proving the white supremacists right and that means there’s a serious chance of violence against his family and community, so he’s FURIOUS.  he hunts reuben and his friends down for six years, accruing more and more power in the criminal world in order to do so (he gets more members in his crew, starts doing vigilante work to gain the respect of the communities he resides in, etc.).  thankfully, in 1933, he takes a moment to think about what they’re even doing anymore and asks reuben what the fuck was up with all of that.  reuben genuinely was just hungry, and he had no idea that his actions would have those… unfortunate implications.  (like i said, himbo.)  while it’s not all hunky-dory, reuben actually apologizes and vows to help feliks reconnect with his family, and the two of them team up to fuck up the KKK and the nazis, so things smooth over relatively quickly.  sue me, i’m a sucker for enemies to lovers, and feliks is also bisexual (though cisgender).

gaspare “loupe eye” paviano - (originally created by @maxusthemad!) gaspare is feliks’ underboss and right-hand man, going from a thrall underneath him into an equal and a powerful, flirtatious vampire in his own right.  he’s a charmer, and loyal to the end, but he’s more than a little indecisive and impulsive at the worst times.  he was born to a lower middle class italian- and greek-american family in chicago, and much like feliks, in order to provide for his family, he fell into a life of organized crime at a young age and couldn’t get out.  one fateful day, he manages to save his boss from getting stiffed on a jewelry deal by pointing out a fake sapphire, and he’s able to get legitimate tutelage and claim to his parents that he was a “jeweler’s apprentice”.  he earns the nickname “loupe eye” paviano through these endeavors.  eventually, in 1929, he gets orders to go to new york and deal with an upstart there who’s been causing trouble… which ends up being feliks.  sensing potential in the young man, feliks slaughters the rest of the group, but leaves gaspare alive and turns him into a thrall.  however, towards the end of their first year working together, gaspare continually breaks out of the trance and resists some of feliks’ more grisly orders, his first real means of standing up for himself and what HE wants (which is big, because he’s been pretty aimless and just kind of followed orders up until this point—he has few motivations in life and was kinda depressed and picked fights a lot).  in response to that, feliks actually establishes a genuine partnership, turning gaspare into a vampire so that they can both work to achieve their goals.  gaspare’s vampiric power is shadow manipulation and teleportation!

retha “riki” harris - (originally created by @maxusthemad!) feliks’ childhood best friend and resident spy/info-broker of the vampire mafia!  she’s a bit of a clown, but she just likes making people happy and watching them go about their days when they’re happiest.  she also has a little guilty pleasure in reading a ton of romance novels.  she’s african- and japanese-american (and she’s also got vitiligo), but because interracial marriage was banned, she’s technically a child born out of wedlock.  however, there’s no drama here because her dad knew about it and wholly loves riki as her daughter (as he’s also in love with the man who fathered her—they’re both bisexual and we stan healthy communication and open relationships!).  riki grew up in the same neighborhood as feliks, and she’s a self-taught nurse who’s hustling her way up in the world the same way feliks did with the criminal underground.  when feliks goes missing, she looks for him doggedly because That’s Her Best Fucking Friend And She Needs To Know What Happened, and when she finally pins him down and pries the info from him, she decides to investigate the circumstances because there’s a lot that isn’t adding up.  throughout 1929 to 1933, she gives feliks the location of the brits for most of the time that he chases them.  however, she’s also the one to actually get feliks to sit down with reuben and talk things out.  her vampiric power is the ability to shape-shift into animals, which helps a lot when gathering information—and it’s the reason why she’s got the nickname “baby bat” with the group!  she likes to be a vampire bat the most.

amélie “ami” boulanger and gadreau boulanger – (gadreau was made by @neogeoandcompany!  he’s the lavellan of neo’s da:i playthrough) a pair of fraternal twins from bordeaux, france who become a pair of master assassins and traceurs (parkour artists).  cast out from their home for being “devil’s children”, also known as albinism mixed with severe melanosis in solely their sclera and irises (making the sclera nearly black and their eyes a deep reddish color—their bodies really went “okay, we’re sending all the melanin there and nowhere else”), they relied on each other to try and eke their way through the world, taking odd jobs wherever they could and evading the trouble that came with some of the more unsavory tasks.  (gadreau’s scar is from when he pointed out a few holes in the plan of a leader of thieves, and his tone did not sit well with the man, so he “gave him something to smirk about”.  ami made short work of the bastard after that slight to her brother.)  they turned to petty thievery as they grew older and snatched up whatever bits and pieces of education they could, until they eventually saved up enough money to make the trek to america.  ami stole away on a boat first, and decided to turn to thievery once again to make ends meet, knowing that far too many people would love to take advantage of a young woman who spoke little english.  she ended up encountering feliks when trying to steal from him, and he decided that he quite liked her gall and willingness to put up a fight, and so she became a member of the mafia and honed her skills with a pistol.  when gadreau crosses over, he’s very cross when he learns that ami has joined a mafia family, but cannot deny that the family she’s made might help them both settle their scores—and what the twins do, they do together, no matter what.  ami’s vampiric power is technomancy (where she can make machinery do what she wants it to, as in immediately picking locks and disabling security cameras with a touch), and gadreau can turn invisible!  both of them can also walk on walls and ceilings.  gravity means nothing to the double spiderman menace.

liesl “liza” kaplan - (originally created by @maxusthemad!) originally introduced as one of the first recurring Genuine Antagonists of the story (like finley), liesl eventually joins the mafia as the mechanic for all artillery and vehicles.  she’s a take-charge kind of woman who thinks she always knows best, and she refuses to put up with any bullshit (she has lived FAR TOO LONG for tomfoolery to get in the way of her goals and dreams, and if you dare try and hurt those she cares about, you will not live to tell the tale).  she is a very nurturing figure at heart, though, and loves to spoil people.  like feliks, she’s jewish (and also born to a reform family like feliks), but she grew up in heilbronn, germany until her family immigrated to the united states when she was in her twenties.  she studied as much biology (specifically botany) as she could, and her impeccable grades and performance actually landed her in the university of pennsylvania.  while she traveled to various farms to learn more about soil temperature and yield, she met a young farmer and fell in love, eventually marrying him and creating a life with him.  unfortunately, he died young and her children moved away, so her loneliness makes her a perfect target for a supernatural hunters’ guild to scoop her up and convince her of the threat of all kinds of undesirables, especially vampires.  she encounters the vampire mafia and swears to take them down, along with her compatriot ibán, and her being in her sixties does nothing to snuff out her fervor.  thankfully, for the three of them, a look at the parallels between their (literal) witch hunts and the rising tensions in europe is enough for them to reject the hunters’ guild.  unfortunately, the guild doesn’t take well to defectors, and after an ambush, liesl sustains mortal injuries and decides to become a vampire in order to keep doing her work.  her vampiric power ends up being the ability to control plants!  (she usually uses it to keep in touch with her garden and make it the best damn rooftop garden in all of new york.)

ibán lucero garcia abascal - (cw for exorcisms, familial abuse, and suicide) another Recurring Antagonist-At-First, ibán works with liesl to try and destroy the vampire mafia, but becomes the religious expert for the vampire mafia.  when we meet him, he’s a priest and exorcist, though his methods kind of put the vatican at arm’s length (insert “i don’t know… that’s scary!” comic here).  he was born in ciudad juarez in northern mexico, but his family moved to what would become white sands, new mexico before he was three, so he’s got dual citizenship.  his family was deeply religious, and so he became a devout catholic, though that didn’t stop his family from worrying about his eccentricities, his grandfather especially.  ibán didn’t care to partake in the usual communal activities, and hated to be touched unless he sought out comfort.  he often played alone and had trouble keeping eye contact, and while he knew quite a lot for his age, he could not understand other people and spoke bluntly and callously.  all of this led to his grandfather trying to exorcize him when he was eight, which didn’t exactly stop the problems, but it taught ibán to repress like nobody’s business and gave him a serious fear of vulnerability and hatred for his own mind.  (turns out, ibán is autistic and not, in fact, possessed by a demon.  but mental health solutions are not exactly amazing in the 1910s, so we get the lovechild of john ward from the FAITH horror game series and inspector javert from les miserables.)  eventually in his twenties, ibán moves further east to alexandria, virginia, and becomes an exorcist for hire, fervently hunting down demons.  some of them were genuine threats, but unfortunately, others were either supernatural creatures just kind of living their lives or were other mentally ill people.  the same supernatural hunter’s guild that picked up liesl lures in ibán, and the two get along well.  for how devout ibán is, differing religions don’t bother him and even become a point of interest (if it means he gets better at banishing demons from all walks of life).  they both agree that vampires, especially, are unnatural monsters that must be purged.  and that’s how the vampire mafia finds these two, and through repeated interactions, ibán and gadreau find themselves constantly in each other’s sights (sue me, another enemies to lovers story, but blame neo for it too because he enabled me).  when the guild shows its true colors and it turns out they work for lewis, liesl actively desists and stands alongside the mafia, but ibán has a much trickier time reconciling with his own actions because the moral rigidity that got him through so much hardship is now coming back to bite him in the ass.  he very nearly jumps off a building before gadreau finds him and convinces him to move forward instead.  and so, with liesl, ibán officially joins the mafia and decides to deal with spirits in a more peaceful way (though demons still get their ass beat).  ibán’s vampiric power is a little hard to give a name to, but he can pull people’s emotions out through their blood and turn said blood into weaponry or tools based on the emotions in them.  so if someone was angry with him, he could turn that anger into a literal sword to use against them, but unfortunately, ibán takes on those emotions—so if he removes someone’s fear, he feels that fear, and they don’t, whatever the cost of that may be.

jenab bin tan zakaria (alias miles cintaku) - (originally created by @maxusthemad! cw for family murder) the last member of the team!  max describes him as kind of like if dexter morgan and patrick jane had a vigilante-justice fueled murder fusion—while he is incredibly empathetic to those who are struggling, he has nothing but rage for those who prey on the inequalities of a system that forces such.  he’s unfortunately condescending and myopic, refusing to take help unless he absolutely needs it and things are his way or the highway more times than not, but his wit and his sense of justice and family bring him through.  he comes to the mafia in the late 1950s, early 1960s, so there’s a bit of a jump (though perhaps he’ll be in the background for keen eyes to spot).  he’s the “therapist” and interrogator of the group when he officially joins (yes, yes, conflict of interest, but none of these guys can like.  go to any old therapist and jenab does know what he’s doing).  he was born in perak, malaya in 1921 to an english father and a malay mother.  he grew up to become fascinated with the workings of the mind, especially with morbid disgust in what causes people to commit horrible acts against each other.  he graduated from universiti pendidikan sultan idris with a doctorate of psychology focusing on behavioral health, and a minor in anatomy.  the mask of the studious and quiet young man hid a growing rage and antipathy, and soon he held the corpse of a sex pest stalker in his own hands.  the rush and satisfaction of removing such a disgusting person from the world led him to becoming more than a bit of a vigilante killer, finding those who committed terrible deeds and giving them some extrajudicial justice.  he moved around during his youth, but eventually became a school counselor in kuala lumpur and met a young woman named fariza, who captured his heart.  he eventually decided to settle down with her and marry her in 1948, giving up his vigilante work in order to focus on making things safe for fariza and their coming daughter, khatijah.  unfortunately, tragedy struck soon after, and another serial killer who went by the moniker of navy james killed fariza before khatijah was born and left malaysia before jenab could bring him to justice.  this sends him spiraling into a deep depression, but it also fuels the flame to go back to his vigilante ways.  he taunts navy james by killing another scumbag and using the killer’s tag, and then starts to hunt him down across the globe.  when he comes across the vampire mafia, he offers his services and expertise in exchange for their resources, but found family strikes again!  shit!  he kind of loves all of them now.  his vampiric power is possession and the ability to have his spirit leave his body temporarily.

#answered asks #answered ask #anonymous #anonymous ask #the vampire mafia #reuben kent #feliks kaufmann #gaspare paviano #louisa lovelace #nicky sturge #peter gibson #tomasso scarlatti #jenab bin tan zakaria #ibán lucero garcia abascal #riki harris #liesl kaplan #finley seabrooke #original characters #original character #oc #ocs #vampire

[sophsun1]

contrary to the other anons opinion, i think you should make MORE qaf gifs!!!

but on the real, i’m one of those people who didn’t watch qaf until this year and it’s been such a treat to be able to come to your blog every day and see new qaf content so thank you!

Hey anon!

Aww, thank you I really appreciate you saying that and I'm glad you enjoy the content. It's why I do it, so me and other fans can see it and to spread a tiny bit of escapism happiness 💕

To be honest I wouldn't have even acknowledged that anon because the best way to deal with hate is to straight up block and delete. Don't even give them your energy as the issue is with them and not you. But what triggered me was the blatant entitlement and rudeness that they had a right to tell me what to post on MY blog. As far as I'm aware I do not have a gun to their head or anyone's asking them to follow me if they don't like what I post. I would rather you unfollow and go enjoy the things you want to see, why make yourself upset over something that is so avoidable and trivial in the grand scheme of things.

You are in charge of what you see on here, unfollow, block, filter the tag are all options available to you so the idiocy of going to the blog owner and demanding they tailor their content to suit you is ridiculous.

Plus I came onto tumblr posting qaf and have been doing so for TWO YEARS. My icon is qaf and so is my header and if you ask my mutuals/followers what is Soph known for? they'll say oh she's the one posting qaf! It's not like it's not obvious I post about it. I didn't know my two whole gifsets a day was overkill, and what made me laugh was I do post gifs about other shows, my top posts reflect that and are all non qaf related! My other show interests are on hiatus so I can't exactly magic up content to gif. I make a lot of gifs for fandoms that don't even have active gif makers anymore so yk.

There's enough unkindness in the world as it is, and I use tumblr and gif making as a creative escape as do the majority of content creators on here, whether it's answering asks, writing fic, writing meta, funny posts etc whatever. It's my tiny safe space to be silly and post with and for my followers. I go through enough shit in real life I don't welcome it here.

The major reason why I love posting gifs in general for qaf is because I only discovered the show two years ago and when I came on here there was zero content. So I took it upon myself to learn gif making and I'm 100% self taught, no one has shown me how to do anything I've had to go search it myself. I'm really fucking proud of how far I've come with making them, from my grainy and uncoloured ones which I still smile at because I made them with love to the ones that I create now. It takes literal hours and the process isn't easy. So now to be the one posting stuff for old fans, new fans to discover is me coming tumblr full circle!

There's many gif makers like me that create for "dead fandoms" or forgotten shows, and sometimes it might be that if we didn't post then there would be nothing for people to enjoy like it was for me. I've had people who followed me from day one and my first ever britin gifset who still pop up in my notes now and people who have discovered the show from my gifs, and ones like you who come to the tag and see my unhinged self all over it.

So in conclusion my point is first off think twice before you hit that anon button with hate, because there's a real life person behind that icon who is causing you no harm so have the decency to do the same in return. Imagine someone did become self conscious after getting that ask and stopped posting something they like. Let people enjoy what they want and it's first world problems to be complaining about, I don't take stuff on here seriously when it's fandom stuff but I don't care for nastiness towards anyone.

I wish more people did make qaf gifs so I would have stuff to reblog myself and could take a break lmao it's lonely out here. It doesn't even have to be gifs, it can be meta, mood boards, screenshots, fic anything. So qaf fans get to it pls...

Keep creating what you like, for me it doesn't have to be the best quality gifs or greatest technical gifset. What makes me smile and I love seeing is people post stuff because they wanna have fun, they took the time and effort to create and post because it came from the heart. So fuck anyone else as we're all losers on tumblr together!

#britin #soph asks #ty anon and to everyone in my notes who left a sweet comment #💕 #queer as folk

[mondscheinprinzessin]

1, 2, 4 and 5 for dress fic series, 9, 10, 12, 17, 24 for "I'm caught beneath...", 34, 41 and 49 bitte! 💖 /🐍

1. What fic of yours would you recommend to someone who had never read any of your work? (In other words, what do you think is the best introduction to your fics?)

I would show them When you put your lips and your hands on my heart cause it has the romance (and my fav pairing) almost all my fics have and it eases into the angst without being too angsty right away and gives a bit of smut that I occasionally write, so it covers a broad spectrum of what to expect in my fics.

2. Go to your AO3 “Works” page, to the sidebar with all the filters, and click the drop-down arrow for “Additional Tags.” What are your top 3-5 most used tags? Do you think they accurately represent your writing habits?

I guess the fluff is mostly there because of prompts I’ve written because I don’t usually go for it myself? But the other two, yeah, that’s definitely my writing😄 I also think I’m not always perfectly tagging my angst so there could be more.

3. What are some tropes or details that you think are very characteristic of your fics?

Angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort being what I would always go for. I write characters who either overthink or have insecurities that come up in the fic, or even mental health issues (although with Joel that’s rather canon). And there’s a lot of friends to lovers with one of them being afraid to ruin the friendship.

4. What detail in the dress fic series are you really proud of?

I want to say my dress fics aren’t that deep because the plot isn’t the main focus of these fics so I don’t know if there’s any worthy details.

But may I highlight this part of Find me on my knees:

“The thin fabric didn’t conceal Aleksi’s figure at all and when Joonas’ hands explored further he could make out every curve, letting his fingers admire the softness of Aleksi’s stomach, to where his hips widened beneath his waist, sliding all the way down to his thighs,”

Because I was struggling to describe Aleksi’s body in a way that I love it looks without making it sound as if he was just big/fat/thick because those words tend to have a negative connotation, but I’m happy with the way I wrote his body yeah.

5. What do you wish someone would ask you about the dress fic series? Answer it now!

I think the one or other had picked up on it in the comments, but asking more about Aleksi’s experiences with his exes, or how did he got to the dresses, when did he discover liking wearing them, or maybe since when does Joonas have a crush on Aleksi.

I’m not going to answer all of them now, that would be much, but: In general Aleksi had only tried wearing a nice dress and underwear for his last boyfriend and he didn’t really like it much, accusing Aleksi wanting to imitate a woman which the guy wasn’t into at all but consequently destroying Aleksi’s confidence in wearing his dresses, and making him think his partners would hate it if he did.

And for Joonas: He may have developed a crush on their last tour after sharing a hotel room with Aleksi and when he was anxious because of something they talked the whole night and fell asleep cuddling, and while they didn’t talk about it, Joonas felt that something had changed for him🥰

9. How do you find new fic to read?

I have some core fandoms that I from time to time revisit and then I just sort for the pairings I like and if the tag is big enough that it allows me to be picky with extras I search for angsty and hurt/comfort fics (who would have thought😂) and that’s all really what I do. I also like to go for bigger fics from 20k words up because I like longer stories/multichapters.

In my previous fandom I had also subscribed to a few authors so I wouldn’t miss their fics.

10. How do you decide what to write?

It’s more like what my brain decides on what we’re doing right now. When I want to start a new fic I just open my google docs and scroll through my wips and then open what catches my eye. It’s mostly the ones I have a more or less clear vision for already so writing them is easier.

But when it comes to ideas? I don’t know, I daydream a lot and the ideas just fall into my lap, I don’t really have to do anything for it.

12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you?

Kid fic the most I would say. But so far I’m only trusting @poodlejoonas with these, I still wouldn’t click on any other from other authors. There’s not many tropes I really dislike. Maybe when it comes to marriage and domestic life I like to see it more in longer fics now because now that I’m getting older I understand these better.

17. What highly specific AU do you want to read or write even though you might be the only person to appreciate it?

When I came up with my ATLA AU I thought I would be the only one to enjoy it, but it turned out others would be interested in it as well. And I would love to write/read a Julie and a Phantoms AU, but at least two other people would be into it as well.

And because I love historical mystery/criminal books, I would love to read a fic in that setting.

24. Are there any easter eggs in I’m caught beneath with nothing left to give and if so, what are they?

There’s just many details I’ve used from your own fics, but I wouldn’t call them easter eggs because they’re needed for the story to work.

34. What aspects of your writing are inspired by/taken from your real life?

A lot of my main characters is taken from me, mainly the insecurities, and worrying, and mental health issues because I like projecting my problems onto others😄 The coffeeshop AU was partly inspired by Lou and partly by me working in a coffeeshop once. Just every day things that happen I like to incorporate in my fics. Just generally a lot of my own feelings can be found in my fics.

41. Link a fic that made you think, “Wow, I want to write like that.”

When I read theflyingzimmergaudi’s fic There’s a lightning in your eyes, I can’t deny, I instantly fell in love with her writing and as someone still new to writing fics and trying to better her English skills I thought wow, this is where I want to be someday. In the meantime I’ve acknowledged that this won’t happen because I have my own style and I’m pretty content with it at the moment, but back then I was seriously impressed.

49. What are you currently working on? Share a few lines if you’re up for it!

The third chapter for the soulmate AU: “Almost giddy he took the last steps up the stairs and opened the door with his key (he wasn’t officially moved in, but it just had been convenient to give him one after a few months) and quickly got rid of his stuff, the warm light in the living room encouraging him in his plans to finish the day off in comfort and cozily tucked under an arm.

But he got surprised as soon as he stepped in. When usually he would find both of them already on the couch, Joonas with his feet in Joel’s lap, or Joel fully flopped on Joonas, today there was none of that picture.”

#answered #danke #dziękuję? #I just sat 5 min in front of google translator trying to get the pronouncation right instead of posting this #snake

[astralpenguin]

i was tagged (a while ago oops) by @newtmsa, tysm!!

rules: recommend us three of YOUR fics, one that is the "most popular" and two that are "hidden gems"

i’m going to stick to tmr fics for this as that’s the main fandom angie and i have in common dsghkgdh

most popular

i was the only one who was looking at you. newt/thomas, 137k

an ‘erased’ au. 29 year old thomas gets sent back in time to when he was nearly 11 and has to stop a serial killer from targeting his friends. it’s a Very slow burn on the romantic front for what i hope are obvious reasons, and it’s the first long multi chap i ever successfully completed! my writing has improved a lot since 2018 but i’m still really proud of it and enjoy rereading it, and i’m not mad that it’s my most popular fic, even if its popularity largely stems from its timing rather than anything else

hidden gem 1

love is for mortals and fools. teresa/brenda & newt/thomas, 74k, wip

yes i know i haven’t updated it in a year but Trust Me I’m Going To. it’s a death note au. you want grey and black morality, and sapphic villain protagonists? that’s this fic. it’s 74k in and the main couples literally only just met, and the fifth main character is sonya and she’s very important to the story. this fic is so good and my goal with it is to make readers cry by the end. i focuses a little more on the girls than the boys, and the order of the tags reflects this, and that’s probably why it’s a hidden gem, because fandom tends to gravitate towards male characters and m/m pairings rather than female characters and f/f pairings. i’m a little salty about it

hidden gem 2

starlight. 1.2k

set between the events of tst and tdc, harriet talks to brenda about how everyone’s falling in love around her while the girl she’s in love with has been taken by wckd. the group that wckd left behind would’ve all become super close during the 6 month gap and i haven’t seen very much that explores those friendships while also exploring the pain that wckd’s actions would’ve caused, so this was my attempt at that! brenda and harriet would’ve become close friends i think

i’m tagging @itsthemxze because i don’t think you’ve been tagged yet and i think most other tmr people have been, but no pressure!! and if you haven’t been tagged and see this and want to do it for yourself then go for it!!

#tmr #el creates #fanfic

[dragonnan]

Favorite Three Fics That You've Written

I was tagged by the lovely @aelaer (if you love LOTR or Doctor Strange or simply fantastic writing you MUST check out her stories!!)

Okay, so, I’ve been writing fanfic for at least 32 years. Conservative estimate is around 600-700 stories, both long fics and one-shots.  So all that said picking three favorites is daunting.

I’m gonna pick from my three most recent fandoms (which are also the ones for which I’ve written the bulk of my stories).

1. (Psych) Paint it Black: "I want you to imagine a bullet coming from that gun, penetrating your skin, and lodging in your brain.  You know how easy that would be for me?" But Shawn doesn't have to imagine it... because he's about to experience it.

I have wanted to write a blinded character story for years.  Around the time I started this fic, I had found a story another writer had started that was incomplete.  It really motivated me to create my own story and, thus, this fic was born.  It was important to me to try to write a lot of scenes from Shawn’s POV as he navigates a world of darkness so I shifted the emphasis to sounds, textures, scent, etc.  Dispensing of the visual cues forced me to “see” the world differently and I would point to this story as one that has helped expand my use of environment in writing.

2. (MCU Doctor Strange) The Way that We Fall (and Get Back Up): [WARNINGS FOR SEXUAL ASSAULT - no rape] There's an interesting thing about pain.  Whether it's physical or emotional - the most notable aspect is how it can change you.  It can make the confident begin to question everything.  It can humble the proud, bring fear to the brave, and cause people to make choices they'd have never have considered, before.  Pain made Stephen a hero; but it didn't happen overnight.  The hurts he's accumulated are his to bear. More than that, he doesn't like to think about them. So why, in the hell, would he want to talk about them?

The idea for this story was born from the nature of who Stephen was at the start of his first movie.  Not only arrogant (a trait he sorta retained) but also out of touch with the idea of kindness for the sake of it.  There was coldness to many of his interactions which, in turn, created - if not outright enemies, at the very least lots of people who disliked him.  I wondered, during his moments of greatest vulnerability, what if one of those people decided to get revenge?  In the course of actually writing this, the story evolved and the revenge theme grew more nuanced.  But what makes this story a favorite is the final segment - when Stephen encounters his attacker again and his emotional reactions.  It’s one of those stories where I’d love to revisit again in a sequel sometime should the right plot arise.

3. (Sherlock BBC) A Faun at Baker Street: Sherlock is required to attend an event.  Sort of an annual thing.   Formal attire is required - jacket, coat with tails, and a couple of other things as well.  Namely hooves and antlers.  Did I mention that Sherlock is a faun?

Fully inspired by the vampire AU series written by @sgam76 as well as her encouragement to write this. I haven’t written much in the AU space but I’d really been enchanted by the tiny collection of “fawnlock” stories out there.  At the same time I didn’t want to write kink or drift into the more animal kind of character but, rather, maintain essentially what we get in the series but with hooves and antlers tossed in the mix. Then, of course, came the challenge of figuring out how Sherlock hides his true nature from the world.  Figuring out the mechanics of magical biology was maybe one of my favorite bits of world building. Another was developing the culture and rituals of the faun. Also this story is intended to be part of a series and I’ve already got over 4,000 words dedicated towards the prequel - when Sherlock was still a young faun.

Tagging: @sgam76 @kitcat992 @ariaadagio @hanuko @disappearinginq @ceruleanmindpalace

[essayofthoughts]

2020 Creator Wrap: Favourite Works

Tagged by @tobermoriansass​ - I’m so sorry - TWO DAMN YEARS AGO. This is why I am where tag games go to die.

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (or so) favorite  works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link  them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world  in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original)  so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

I repeat, I am tagging no one because I am where tag games go to die.

I know this is two years late, but I’ll still limit this to whatever I wrote in 2020 - which isn’t as much as I thought. Makes sense tho, that was when I was shifting from Maximoff twins to Campaign 1 of Critical Role.

Favourite five of those would be...

--

That balance may return - Critical Role, Percy Whump, 34k - AO3 Link

You know when you have an idea and start writing it, realise it’s going to be longer than you thought, stall in a panic because you don’t write longfic and then manage to finish it anyway and have it be (what you think is) a pretty good study of trauma recovery? Yeah. That’s this. I’m incredibly proud of this fic, possibly because I used this fic a lot for my own processing of a few things; rereading this fic I don’t really recognise the person I was when I wrote it, which is interesting!

“Believe it or not,” Anna Ripley says, peeling off a bloodstained glove, “I rather like you alive, Percival.”

She smiles down at him and, with the light behind her, her hair is like a dark halo.

“Chin up,” she says, patting his cheek with metal fingers. “I’ll take good care of you.”

The premise is pretty simple - at some point after the Briarwoods Arc and with no dragons to cause Chroma Conclave Trouble, Ripley captures Percy and proceeds to fuck with him for a while (tw: being creepy, boundaries being crossed, persistent trauma-induced bad headspace, rape) but gets found and Percy freed by the end of the first chapter.

The whole rest of the fic is Percy recovering from that.

Ripley’s Assistant - Critical Role, VM AU, 58k - AO3 Link

Gods, I’m desperately proud of this fic. Proper fucking longfic! The chapter lengths are all over the show (still proud as all fuck of the Anders chapter though, thank you so much to @chamerionwrites​ for helping me find the right angle to approach it from). Just as with balance this fic is me processing certain things just from a very different angle.

“Percy,” Ripley says. Her hand is tight on his shoulder.

“They’re going to kill them,” he says.

“Yes,” she says. “And they’ll kill you too if you’re not careful. Come with me. Your family will listen to you. Talk to you. Maybe if they tell you what they know and you tell us, they might just live.”

This fic is an AU of canon where instead of Anders as Percy’s tutor, it’s Ripley. Things go a bit differently as a consequence. There’s two more arcs as follow-up, because the healing process is complicated, as well as side fics.

Gods, I’m proud of this fic.

needs not be spoken - Critical Role, Cassandra & Desmond, 1.6k - AO3 Link

A present for the wonderful chamerionwrites, sometimes you have a Thought when a friend mentions characters of interest and you proceed to write something with far more meat to it than you expected. I love the parallels you can make between Cass and Desmond - both shown kindness and cruelty by the Briarwoods, both with reasons to hate or resent Percy, both around the same age (Desmond is said to be around 18, like Cassandra) and Desmond’s fate is kind of left open, though the wiki states he lives. 

Some think it strange, that Cassandra, as a Lady, is waited on by a manservant and not a lady’s maid.

So in this AU, Desmond returns to Whitestone with the Emon refugees with a maimed hand and a letter to ensure employment. Cassandra looks at this, realises Percy’s responsible and decides that if a de Rolo wronged Desmond then a de Rolo has to set it right.

And goddamnit, Percy, she’s going to set it right. It’s a character and relationship study from the two, when they’re still new to working with each other, and it’s just lovely and quiet and platonic.

kindness to cruelty - D&D, OCs, Hurt/Comfort, 20k - AO3 Link

So this is what I started to write for an exchange before I realised it had got vastly out of hand, wrote a shorter thing with similar bones to submit for the exchange, and then finished this because why not at that point. It starts with some pretty hefty hurt, the comfort is more slow and emotional than anything else - though there is some actual healing - and there’s some poking about the nature and stances of drow culture and the kind of indoctrination that’d go on from that.

If they keep their word then - perhaps - he can convince them he will keep his.

An adventuring company in the Underdark gets attacked by drow, they take one prisoner because the party member who took them down isn’t down with coldblooded murder, and they all slowly get to know each other. Also, there’s a language barrier.

finds and shall find me unafraid - Critical Role, Percy Whump, 9.7k - AO3 Link

@sparxwrites has an incredibly mean little oneshot called comprehension, and lack thereof where Ripley rapes a Feebleminded Percy where Vex can see. The concept of the aftermath of this didn’t leave me, especially given there’s no way Vex, furious as she would be, would just let it stand.

So I wrote aftermath.

It says something, Vex thinks, that even after the sickly green magic of Ripley’s wand of Feeblemind, after the cells and what Ripley did, after so many things that could so easily leave someone curled in a corner and avoiding all contact, Percy still so clearly trusts her.

The first chapter is them breaking out of the dungeons, Vex cajoling the still feebleminded Percy into helping her. The next chapter is Vex killing Ripley and getting in contact with the others. The chapter after is Keyleth restorationing Percy and Vex gently keeping Percy company. Chapter four is questionably healthy smut and chapter five is after-aftermath. 

#tag games #tobermoriansass #queue

[kellanved-ammanas]

Sniper Pals & Ships: Demo - Vicious

[A/N] Content warning for a brief mention of animal abuse, specifically a pit bull. Also, said pit bull isn't vicious. This fills the prompt through mentioning that pit bulls are purported to be vicious but this one proves that idea wrong. It's mild, like I said, just a mention of it and not an actual depiction of the pit bull being abused, which is part of why I didn't tag it in the main tags, but I feel it is a enough to be worth a heads up for anyone who might need it.

~

Demo wasn’t usually the type of guy who’d steal someone’s dog straight out of their backyard. But the poor beast had been chained up without much shade other than a teeny-tiny doghouse. It had been late evening when he’d found her so it hadn’t been too hot at the time but they were in the damn desert, making that an extra cruel thing to do. So leaving her there hadn’t been an option.

And so now Demo had a dog. A pit bull, supposedly a vicious blood thirsty breed. ‘Vicious’ was the last word he’d use to describe her though as she lay politely at his feet. She’d spent the night at the foot his bed and had followed him into his workshop after he’d fed her off his own plate because what else was he supposed to feed her?

“What the bloody hell am I supposed to do with you?”

Her ears moved as she turned her head to look at him. He’d only had her for half a day and yet she already seemed content with him.

While Demo liked animals, he’d never been a ‘having a pet’ type of person. He could barely take care of himself, how the hell was he supposed to keep a whole living being that was completely dependent upon him alive too? And he worked with a lot of dangerous chemicals and literal explosives, things that would be very bad for any animal that got into them even for a few seconds. Or if she bumped him hard enough at the wrong moment or surprised him with a loud bark because she caught another animal’s scent, it could be kablooeyfor both of them.

Well… if Demo couldn’t take care of her, the only solution was to look for someone who could and wanted to. Lucky for him, he lived on a base with a bunch of animal lovers. One of whom had even told him a little while ago that they’d like a dog one day. A dog to go hunting and camping with but surely a pit bull could be trained for that, right?

~

Sniper answered the knock on his camper van door looking like he’d been awoken from a nap. Demo normally would’ve apologized for that but he’d made it clear during prior such incidents that he didn’t mind as sleeping in the middle of the day wasn’t something he should be doing too much anyway.

“Yo, you want a dog?” Demo said instead.

“Huh?”

“I found a dog.” He stepped back to gesture towards her. He’d found a piece of rope to tie to her collar to make sure she wouldn’t run off. She hadn’t tried to though. “But I ain’t exactly the best person to be in charge of taking care of her so I figured I’d ask you if you want her ‘cause you said that you’d like a dog one day. So here’s a dog if you want her.”

“Where’d you find her?”

“Someone’s yard. She was chained up to a tiny dog house. There were food bowls but they empty. So I couldn’t just leave her there. She’s been real friendly so far but… I don’t think I’m equipped to take care of her.”

“Well, I don’t exactly have room in the camper for a dog.”

“Damn, guess that’s fair point though.” Demo had been hoping Sniper would take her because he’d grown rather attached to her and since he hung out with Sniper fairly often, that would mean he’d still get to see her plenty too.

“Could ask Scout. He’s got a wiener dog back home he’s real proud of so he might be willing to take her on.”

Seems Demo wasn’t the only one subjected to the admittedly cute dog pictures Scout’s Ma had mailed to him. Not that that was the least bit surprising, it was Scout after all. “Yeah, he’s probably a good option.” He also went on runs and stuff that dogs were supposed to enjoy. … “Or I could just keep her myself.”

Sniper raised an eyebrow. “You could. If you want tips on caring for animals and stuff, just ask. I ain’t an expert or nothing but I had dogs growing up.”

It was tempting, she was adorable, friendly, and she seemed to like Demo. Perhaps as recognizance that he’d saved or because she was just friendly, maybe a little bit of both. But… “Nah. Maybe when I’m better at staying sober for longer, I can get a dog or some other kind of pet. Right now though, it’d be a bad idea.” It wasn’t just about what he wanted but about what would be best for any potential pet he might acquire. He just wasn’t at a place in his life currently where he could give the kind of care and attention a dog needed.

“Well, good on you for admitting that.”

Demo grunted an acknowledgment. “Well, guess I’ll go see if Scout wants her. See you around.”

#my writing #tf2 #team fortress 2 #demo #sniper #demosniper

[onlyherstarlight]

please love me,

my angel.

i know you don’t, and i know you

never will, but please.

please, say you ache for me

the way i do you. say you want

to rest in our bed,

in a busy city, gazing upon each other’s bodies under the moonlight.

i’d love to see your freckles illuminated under the pale

light. please, sweetheart,

say you need me

the way i need you.

say you wish to lie in each other’s arms,

away from the

pouring rain, striking our window.

would you let me

play with your hair, and call you my own?

would you please

do the same to me? would you hold me

when

i’m shaking, when the memories

become too much?

darling, i just want you.

i just want to say i’m yours,

i want you

to love me the way

i love you.

i want you

to say you adore me,

you love me.

i want to worship you.

gods, i don’t want to wake up

if it’s not by your side,

my love.

#only her #poemblr #past love #past life #poetry #limerent #limerence #heart ache #heart break #heartache #lovecore #unrequited thoughts #unrequited crush #unrequited feelings #unrequited love #saved for her #i’m using a Lot of tags cause i’m rather proud of this one #sapphic poem #sapphic poetry #lesbian poem #lesbian poetry #wlw poem #wlw poetry #nblw poetry #nblw poem #angelkin #demonkin #demon in love with an angel yknow #crushcore #heartcore

[clairecrive]

hiii! um i had a request if that’s alright? umm a darkling x tidemaker!reader where the reader slowly grows more and more jealous of alina until she finally snaps and tries to leave with another tidemaker to train with master tidemakers for the kings army but then darkling stops her. with a happy ending please 🥺🥺

Where your heart is

A/n; this took a life of its own but I'm still not too sure about it even though I had lots of fun writing it. Hope you'll like it, 🌻x

Word count: 2.4K +

Warnings: angst, darklina, jelousy

Tags: @blackst0nes7077 , @thefictionalgemini , @louweasleymalfoy , @jupiterandbutterflies , @for-bebbanburg , @tarkanelima-blog , @pansysgirlfriend , @acciorudolphx , @kaqua , @hannaxmaria , @vintagebitc , @deardiarystuff, @emmaev , @aleksanderwh0r3 , @hazelrose14, @crowssixof , @qhbr2013 , @odetostep , @strawb3rrydr3ss , @lizzie-he4rts , @korol-lantsov , @shadow4ndbone, @subjecta13-thefangirl , @mriddlemethis , @secretsthathauntus , @carnationworld (tag list form)

SHADOW AND BONE MASTERLIST

He was her mentor. He was the only one who could help her through the discovery and understanding of her powers. That's why he was spending so much time with her. No other reason.

At least that's what you've been telling yourself over and over in hope that you'd start believing it. So far, you had no success. And this had been going on since the day Alina had arrived at the Little Palace a month ago so you didn't harbour any hopes that it'll start working.

But what could you do?

He was spending every waking moment between his War room and the training grounds with Alina. You could see the allure that she had to have in his eyes.

He had been waiting for her for a long time, after all. You couldn't even be mad at him for investing his energies to help her harness her powers since she was the key to Ravka freedom. And, to be fair, Alina wasn't that bad.

Sure, you had to get through many layers of snarky remarks and dry humour that most of the times felt a lot like rudeness rather than humour. But she wasn't that bad. Not when there were people like Zoya walking around.

But the days without seeing him, with just a passing glance or a touch of his hand on your back were taking their toll on you. You missed him.

You had gone from seeing him every day to not seeing him at all.

You had tried to talk to him about it but he.was.always.busy. Or with Alina. You weren't proud to admit it, and you probably never will out loud, but a certain green monster had taken residence on your shoulders.

You were taking your usual stroll around the gardens when you spotted him outside the Palace's main entrance. Hurrying your steps, you called his name to catch his attention.

"Aleksander!"

Fortunately, he heard you and turned to see who was calling him. There were few people who knew his name and there was no chance in hell it would be Baghra. His lips morphed in a small smile as he watched you approaching with a sprint in your steps.

"Hey, I'm so glad I've caught you, it's been ages since I've-" you stopped when you saw Alina's approaching figure. Your eyes darted from her to Aleksander in front of you and you've finally noticed the two horses.

He wasn't wearing his cloak and of course, where Alina was Aleksander followed. Your lips thinned in a line as you rolled your shoulders back. You knew that Aleksander had noticed your expression change but you hadn't had centuries of practice to scholar your features into betraying nothing. But you forced yourself to at least keep up the appearances with Alina.

You gave her a smile when she stood before you complimenting her hair.

"Genya's handiwork," she simply said as it was enough to explain everything.

"Well, I'm going to leave you to your outing," you said hoping they couldn't notice the strain in your smile. Turning around, you retraced your steps to where you had been standing before and where you should have stayed all this time.

It was clear now- what other signs did he need to give you? Swallowing the lump in your throat, you forced yourself to not let the tears fall. You could feel his eyes on you until the sounds of hooves hitting the gravel told you that they were gone.

However much it hurt you to see again and again the proof that you were losing him, there was still a part of you that told you that this was just a phase. A temporary arrangement, given Aleksander's plans for Ravka. You just had to bite the bullet until it was all over.

And so, with renowned hope, you decided that you were going to talk to him. Even if you had to wait for him for hours or meet him at the brink of dawn, you had to do it. You needed to know where his heart was and from that, you could decide where to go.

However, to your luck, today was the day of the Winter Fete. Everyone, including you, was going to be super busy with finalizing the last minute details and rehearsals. Every Grisha had a role in tonight demonstration even though the star of the whole night was, of course, the Sun Summoner.

Since you were a tidemaker, your manifestation was scheduled before Alina's grand entrance. You and the other tidemakers had prepared a light show, along with Alina, to use water to reflect and amplify Alina's light so as to create a beautiful play of light.

The whole ordeal ended in time for Alina to get back inside the Palace and get on stage and for everyone else to get inside too to witness her exhibition. You followed along with everyone else but alas, you really wished you hadn't.

Aleksander had eyes only for Alina, he never looked away from her even when the light got blinding for everyone else in the room. And you couldn't blame him- Alina was literally glowing. She looked amazing in that black kefta and the symbolism of the colour wasn't lost on you.

You had been a fool, that's what you were. It was painfully obvious how whipped Aleksander was for Alina. Each of those signs was a painful blow to your heart and faith in him. His outings with her, her black kefta, the smile she sent his way and how enthralled he was by her.

Shaking your head, you fought to keep your composure. You had lost him, you realized. You had to accept the fact that it was over. Whatever you had, it had come to an end. The moment it did, was lost on you but you knew it had to coincide with the moment he had met Alina.

As if to confirm your inward musings, Alina and Aleksander walked out of the room, her under his arm.

Well, it was settled then. You couldn't stay here anymore. It was one thing to break up and grow apart but it was a whole other thing to watch him being in love with someone else.

You had to go. That was certain.

Nodding to yourself, you took your final decision just as they walked past you. Aleksander's eyes met yours briefly, just long enough for you to send him a teary glare.

This was the last time you were going to see him and as much as you could feel your heart breaking, you knew that it was something you had to do. They walked out of the room and you wasted no time in leaving as well.

However, before going to your room to pack the few belongings you had, there was somewhere else you needed to go first.

The wind blew harshly on your face, the salt of the sea breeze mixing with that of your tears. Alone on the dock, you allowed yourself to cry. To finally let out everything you had been keeping under lock and key for so very long.

You tried to comfort yourself by reassuring yourself that this was the right choice. The best choice. To stay in a place where you had never truly felt at home, where every nook and cranny reminded you of what you had and what you had lost- of the fact that you hadn't been enough. That your love hadn't been enough for him to stick around, to choose you over a girl he had known for about a day. Everything you had shared, the months spent together in intimacy under his sheets or under the comfort of your favourite tree.

Vanished. Erased. Worthless.

You allowed yourself to feel every ounce of pain his dismissing behaviour had caused you because as soon as you boarded, you were going to leave all of this behind. You were sailing towards your future, towards a new land full of opportunities and new people. Somewhere where you could start fresh.

You heard someone shout the name of the ship you had to be on and knew that the moment had come. Here you were about to step into your new life.

Heaving a sigh, you threw a last look in the Little Palace direction, at what-or rather- who you were leaving behind. Turning around, you gathered your kefta closer to your body to shield you from the harsh weather. As you were about to move, a hand clamping on your back, stopped you.

You winced, not expecting the contact since you thought you were the only one on the dock. Turning around, you were met with a familiar pair of onyx eyes.

"What are you doing?" he asked, an edge on his voice that you couldn't figure out if it was surprise, betrayal or boredom.

"I could ask you the same thing, General." Taking a step back, his hand fell from your shoulder as you put some distance between you. Standing so close to him just as you were about to bid him goodbye forever felt like a cruel joke on destiny's part.

"So this is what you do? Leave in the middle of the night without telling anyone?"

"Those who needed to be, have been rightly notified of my departure. I don't see how this concerns you, though."

"You don't see-" he huffed out, a humourless laugh leaving him," how, in the name of all saints, don't you see how this concerns me?"

"This is the first time you've spoken to me in months, Aleksander so please spare me this bullshit. I've got it, alright?" Raising your hands you took yet another step away from him. "There's no need for you to be here and pretend anymore. Go back to your party and your Grisha and your girl."

"You're my girl," he stated somehow still calmly.

"No, I'm not," you scoffed, "and you've done a fine job proving that these past few months."

"I know I've been neglecting you, but what's a few months when we have a lifetime together in front of us?" he conceded taking a step towards you as his arms widened as if to show you the length of time you'd be spending together.

"It's everything, Aleks," you snapped as your emotions got the best of you, "seeing you getting cosy with Alina every day realising that the more time passed the less you were mine was excruciating and I'm done. I'm going away and I'm leaving all of this behind."

"You can't go."

"Watch me," you quipped as you turned around. Challenging you was not the best way for him to go about this. He knew better than anyone who proudful you could be.

"You cannot go," he... begged? the tone of his voice was so weird coming from him that had you pivot immediately. "You cannot leave. You cannot leave me."

You stood there, hair blowing everywhere for the harsh wind, just staring at him. You'd never seen him so emotional. Yes, you'd shared some intimate moments but he'd never been quite this open about his feelings. The sight of his teary eyes was so unfamiliar that made your brain short-circuiting.

Taking a shaky breath, Aleksander took a step in your direction, getting closer to you but still not close yet.

"Everything that I've ever done has been for a sole purpose, y/n, you know it. And you have to believe me, Alina plays a role in this as well."

"I know she does, it's obvious to everyone. It just has become painfully obvious to me tonight just how important she's come to mean to you." You shrugged as you looked away. Admitting this while also looking him in the eyes was an impossible feat.

"She may as well be the Sun Summoner, but you're my solnishko, y/n." He murmured softly as he took another step, this time getting close enough to you to reach for your hands.

"Sweet talking isn't going to change anything, Aleksander. I saw how you looked at her, I saw her wearing your colours. Do you take me for a fool?"

"Of course not," he disagreed vehemently, "but it's as I've told you, my dear, please believe me. Every action had its purpose which was not hurting you or expressing my love for Alina." He insisted, his hands squeezing yours. His eyes flickered between you and you spotted hopefulness as well as sincerity in them. Which made you hesitate.

Could it be...?

"But why didn't you tell me so, then? Why cutting me out dry without a word?" you uttered, afraid to believe him, afraid to let your heart hope again.

"It has been a play, solnishko. Ever since Alina has stepped foot inside the Little Palace, all eyes have been on us. I had a part to play and so did she. Unfortunately, I couldn't risk it." He explained, his eyes taking in your features, noting how hesitant you still were.

"I swear, my love, you should hear her. The only thing she can talk about it's her childhood best friend who seems so boring, I can't see what she sees in him." He added smiling hoping to lighten the mood. And as a matter of fact, he was rewarded with your giggles.

"Really?"

"I'd never lie to you," he murmured solemnly, his head tilting down toward yours. You met him halfway, your nose bumping softly with his.

"You better never start, Sasha," you warned lightly as he gave you an Eskimo kiss, his hands reaching up to hold your cheeks.

"Never," he promised on your lips. His trailed over yours softly before tilting his head to the side and letting them finally touch.

It has been so long since you've last shared a kiss that you'd almost forgotten how it felt like. How soft his lips were, how voracious he could be, how he always tasted of something sweet.

You gasped as his tongue trailed over your lower lip giving him the desired opportunity to sneak in and meet your tongue. Moaning, you moved your lips with his, hands sneaking through his hair to hold him close. The kiss came to a stop when you both were out of breath. He didn't get far away though as he rested his forehead on yours.

"The captain is going to be really mad at me." You murmured as you heard another shout coming from the end of the dock.

"Let me deal with him," he reassured you before giving you another small kiss. With that, he stepped away and headed over to where your ship was anchored.

You stood there, your fingers touching your lips, still in trance after what happened. So, you had never lost him. He had always been yours.

The realisation made you smile and as you watched his cape blowing in the wind you felt reassured. You knew he had plans but those were never the problem. You could bear seeing him with Alina if you knew that you were the only one in his heart and bed. And it seemed that you weren't the only one who wanted to keep it this way.

#aleksander morozova #aleksander morozova x reader #aleksander morozova angst #aleksander morozova fluff #aleksander morozova x you #aleksander morozova imagine #aleksander morozova imagines #aleksander morozova one shot #general kirigan #general kirigan x reader #general kirigan x you #general kirigan angst #general kirigan imagine #general kirigan one shot #general kirigan fluff #the darkling #the darkling x reader #the darkling x you #the darkling imagines #the darkling imagine #the darkling angst #the darkling fluff #the darkling fic #shadow and bone #grishaverse