#i’m really just experiencing too many feelings about this today

[lightlycareless]

Hiii, can i request a scenario on how naoya (when he has reached a point where he loves wife!reader from an arranged marriage) would react to one day not being greeted at all when he comes home? It is completely silent, no response as he calls for her and is getting a bit worried as he starts searching the rooms. But then he sees her laying on the couch, shivering and sweating from a cold that’s so intense she’s barely lucid and can’t even tell he’s there and talking to her

Heya!!

So... I took some liberties when writing this, kind of went a completely different route (the sick part, alongside worried Naoya still remains though), it just occurred to me when reading your ask, but I hope it's still of your liking 🥺!!!

anyways, here are the warnings: mentions of death, miscarriage, a very concerned and overprotective Naoya, a bit of fluff, and everyone wants to spoil you rotten lol.

And without further ado, happy reading!

“Y/N, I’m home!”

Home.

A word he never really cared for, always considering it sappy, alongside the fondness that was usually assigned to it, which Naoya couldn’t think of as nothing but ridiculous, if not hilariously overrated.

For many years, Naoya thought that a home was simply the place that one was raised in and that’s about it. Nothing of the sentimentality others liked to apply to it, brag about it…

Until, of course, he finally came to understand what the word meant; why it was so special, and why it was important to have one.

A home wasn’t made by the people he knew as family, blood related, found in the place he was forced to be in since he was born, and probably die in—no; it’s the one that was made by the people of his choice, people he met through his course of life, connected with, and now, cherished.

Amongst them, you.

He considered himself lucky to have found the love of his life, a concept he considered so… foreign, impossible for someone like him, if not a stupidity of delusional people desiring more from life.

So was Naoya destined to think for the rest of his existence, condemned by his same family to live a life of loneliness, hatred, and die the same way.

But you’d come to show him otherwise, shockingly, and unexpectedly, and in such a way he couldn’t even put up a fight, completely surrendering to you and the wonderful feelings that being in love with you provided.

Now that he’s experienced them, he couldn’t find the reason as to why his family would ever reproach such beautiful thing as harshly as they did—or that he believed them in the first place…

Well, that’s not something that bothers him anymore; the Zen’in clan could continue on in their hard stuck ways for all he cared; he, on the other hand, plans to spend the rest of his days alongside the woman of his dreams, starting by today, finally back in your arms after days of being pulled into pointless missions after pointless missions, which he would not hear of for a few weeks—having earned a well-deserved break for his consistently good performance.

Naoya even prepared accordingly for the occasion, having bought gifts from all the places he’d been to, as well as ideated ways to distract you from the boring estate and his nagging relatives he knows you don’t enjoy being around with, only tolerating them because they were, well, your in-laws, his family—with exceptions of those you do get along, and for them, he’s grateful that they do.

Ah, he couldn’t wait to see you, your face, and the adorable way it brightens up whenever receiving him.

To tell you of his day while resting his head on your lap, with you passing your fingers through his hair, gently soothing his stresses away as you reassure him that he’s the best sorcerer out there, he’s just… unlucky to bump into lesser talented ones.

Get something to eat too, he’d like his favorite for a start, miso soup—and perhaps have you feed it to him? God, it’s been a while since both have done that, and it’s not because he doesn’t like doing it, or you for that matter, but rather, he doesn’t want to risk being seen by others, it has to be in the utmost privacy, after all! He isn’t to be vulnerable in front of his family!!

Oh, he needs wishes to see you—right now. And he’s absolutely sure you’re feeling the same way…

If so… why hadn’t you responded? Why hadn’t you come to receive him in the same manner you’ve always done?

Naoya knows that his schedule can be a bit… unpredictable, making it difficult for you to know exactly when he’ll come back home—but even then, it didn’t take you that long to meet him after announcing his return.

You’d always come to the entrance, no matter if it happened right that moment, or a bit later; you just… did.

But today… it seems that you opted to break the routine by taking far longer than you usually do.

He’d remain attentive to his surroundings, hoping to either hear your approaching footsteps or voice softly calling for him at a distance, yet as time went on, he was received with neither…. And Naoya only begins to grow more worried.

Your husband tries to not jump to the worst conclusion just yet, opting to think that you were perhaps simply caught up tending to the house, maybe even partaking in an unwanted conversation with one of his relatives and having trouble brushing them off—for no matter the times you’d reminded them that your husband was back, and you needed to be there to receive him, still acted as if it wasn’t that important.

Things that implied that even when running late, you were still ok.

Yet…

“Y/N!” Naoya calls once again, hoping for a change…

…

…

…

Silence.

It’s by this time that he decides it’s better to search for you than to stand around and wait for you to magically appear.

Naoya begins by going into the main wing, eyes scanning through the gardens, your usual place of leisure when not busy, where you’d calmly enjoy the diligently tended for flowers (the ones he had changed to your favorite as soon as he found out which ones they were) while snacking on something, or in the company of your loyal staff—if that were the case of your absence, he understood why you didn’t answer.

But he wouldn’t find you near any of the gardens, or anywhere in fact! A statement that weighed even heavier upon finding out that the staff was in the same predicament as him, for when he asked a nearby servant of your whereabouts, he was received with the following answer:

“We haven’t seen her” Naoya’s heart sinks.

“What do you mean you haven’t seen her?” he breathes. “Where could my wife—did she—did she leave the estate?”

No. You… didn’t. Because that’s not what you told him you’d be doing a few hours ago, after letting you know he was on his way back home; if anything, you replied with how excited you were to see him again and that you’d be eagerly waiting for him!

So obviously, their words didn’t make sense. But if so… where were you?

Naoya now frantically searched for you through every wing, room, space, chamber, closet, just— anywhere, literally anywhere you could be while repeatedly calling out your name in hopes of getting a response, or even a glimpse of you; he doesn’t care what at that point, he’s happy with either!

Yet, the longer he went on without an answer, the bigger his sorrow became, to the point where his mind was machinating nothing but the worst-case scenarios, slowly losing his inhibitions as he repeatedly wondered Where were you? How come no one has seen you? Did he have to escalate this situation?

Just—Where are you, Y/N?!

Thankfully, there would be no need to pursue bigger solutions for he’d get his answer soon enough after entering the east wing, passing through the living quarters, and arriving to the laundry room, one of the last places he’d thought you’d be—rightfully guessing so, for you were there, apparently washing whatever garments you had pending, which you hadn’t been able to wash due to a variety of unknown reasons…

But far from feeling elated to have found you, Naoya felt as if whatever he had left of his heart was effectively broken, which felt short compared to the way he found you.

“Y/N!”

The sight that received him is one that will remain imprinted in the back of mind: you were laying on the floor, on your side, tightly clutching to your stomach as you breathed heavily, eyes tightly shut while groaning in what Naoya could only interpret as pain.

As if his worries weren’t through the roof at that point, this last conclusion is what urged Naoya to hastily make way to your side, swiftly kneeling to your level as he calls out for you once more.

“Y/N—Y/N” He’d breathe, firmly yet carefully placing his hands over you with intentions of picking you up, but his hold falters when his fingers briefly graze your skin, making him gasp in return. “Y/N you’re—you’re burning!”

This would be the only time you’d respond to him, barely able to move your head onto his direction, slightly opening your eyes to see him, a gaze that shows how much pain you were going through, barely able to understand what was going on, except for gently breathing the word that makes his heart squeeze out in pain.

“Na—Naoya…”

Any hesitation is effectively thrown out the window by that point, picking you up and rushing you towards their shared bedroom, all while barking orders to the nearby staff, demanding them to call for a doctor, as quickly as possible, unless they wanted to be jobless by the end of the day!

The staff reacts accordingly, and a few minutes later, the family doctor arrives to the estate, guided to your room and seeing that you were already being tended to, or at least that’s the idea he gets from the dampened towel on your forehead, undoubtedly in efforts of lowering your fever—which unfortunately, had been for nothing.

Well, he was there now, and he didn’t waste time either to get to work, quickly assessing your condition by the apparent symptoms, starting by your temperature, the color of your skin, and even the way you reacted to him while doing so, completely uncooperative—apparently, whatever put you in this state had evoked great instability from you, thus the doctor found it necessary to put you under sedatives.

But even when he was able to quickly gain control of the situation, the doctor still couldn’t arrive at a proper conclusion, less when the people around you had an even smaller idea of what struck you.

“I—I don’t know.” Naoya would respond, angrily, frustrated—and rightfully so. How come none of the servants had noticed your absence? Or worse, hadn’t seen anything that could hint as to what your sickness was about?! “Can’t you just—help her?!”

“That’s what I’m trying—I can’t help her if I don’t know what I’m dealing with.” The doctor responded as calmly as he could, but even he had to admit that everyone’s seeming ignorance annoyed him as well. “But I can still say that this seems much more than just a simple… sickness.”

“What do you mean?” Naoya frowns, the doctor looks at the nearby servants, tasked to be on stand-by if needed.

“I’d like to discuss this in private.” He tells them.

The servants don’t wait for Naoya to repeat the order before they’re already out the room and away from their earshot; a request that while didn’t raise any concerns from Naoya —if anything, he was glad their pesky, useless presence, was finally away from you— the doctor’s face was quick to convince your husband that something far worse than what met the eye.

And this made Naoya’s nerves reach a new limit.

“I told you; I don’t know what happened—” Your husband is quick to defend, believing the doctor was to interrogate him once more, only to be interrupted.

“You don’t need to tell me for me to know what happened.” He interjects, Naoya’s eyes widen.

“I’m lost.” Naoya scowls. “Stop talking cryptically and get on with it!”

“I’ve seen these symptoms before, Naoya. And as I said, these are not from a simple sickness, an allergy or any of the matter” He takes a deep breath. “I heavily suspect she was intoxicated—and not accidentally, but rather, intentionally.”

“Excuse me?” Naoya frowns.  “I told you to stop talking in riddles, say what you—”

“Poisoned, Naoya. I believe your wife was poisoned.”

Naoya’s world comes to a screeching halt.

You…

You were poisoned.

According to the doctor, you—You were attacked, besieged, with malicious intents.

Taken advantage of in the one place you’d never be on edge, your home, the same one he had repeatedly reassured your father that you’d be safe in—the Zen’in estate, home to the prestigious Zen’in clan! There was no safer place in the whole world! There couldn’t!

No one— no one wouldn’t dare do such a thing here—they knew better! Naoya would force them to now better…

Yet, someone dared to commit this transgression against you.

And to make it all worse….

Almost got away with it.

Who would even think of doing such transgression against you?! You?!

You had no quarrels with anyone, and even when you did, you handled things in such an amicable way just so you’d live peacefully, free of nonsensical arguments—you had no space for them in your life!

And yet, this still happened, and right underneath his nose….

There’s no doubt that he’ll put an investigation into order to find the bastard responsible for your suffering, and once he does, he’ll make him regret his existence, to the point he’ll have him begging for mercy—and even then, it wouldn’t be enough for Naoya.

However, that is something that will have to wait until he knows you’re safe, healthier, which the doctor had slowly began to help you with by giving you something that will immediately trap the poison from being further absorbed by your blood—activated charcoal, so he remembers— as well as some other prescriptions for side effects he wishes to prevent.

“Your wife was very lucky to survive, have you waited a second more—”

“I wasn’t waiting.” Your husband immediately responds, offended by his wording. “I wasn’t aware of this until I returned.”

The doctor presses his lips together, taking notice that throughout his whole visit, Naoya has never left your side, nor freed your hands from his.

“And I’m not surprised.” He silently admits.

Naoya hates the notion the doctor was implying, that this was an inside job. But considering the odd behavior of the staff, their seeming ignorance of your location and your status… it all pointed to that same conclusion.

The boiling fury inside him grows bigger.

“How could this be?” Naoya seethes.

How could someone get this far, this close to you, and no one suspecting a thing?

Your husband might’ve reproached the way the doctor expressed himself, but there was an undeniable truth behind them; he truly was lucky to have gotten back home just when he did, for had he taken a second longer, just one, you could’ve die—

Outside of that, the second most important question regarding this whole situation was…where was your staff? Why, of all days, were they absent?

Naoya is confident that if Mariya, your closest confidant, had been around, this would’ve never happened in the first place; the moment she saw anything out of the ordinary, she would’ve pulled all the stops and acted accordingly.

Yet, she was nowhere to be seen, and this makes Naoya both highly suspicious, and furious.

Where was she?  Where are the rest? Why would they leave you in your most needed time? Did they plan this? Plot against you?! Where the hell could they possibly—

“They’re going to be away for the weekend to visit their families.”

He suddenly remembers; you told him so earlier that week through a text.

“Will you be ok?” Naoya also remembers asking; he didn’t feel happy knowing you’d be alone without your most trusted staff.

“It’s just a few days, Naoya. Besides, they deserve a break! I don’t want them to get tired of me, you know?”  you laugh. “But you better come back quickly, ok? Just because they’re not around doesn’t mean I like being alone…”

“I won’t take long. I promise.”

If only he’d kept his word…

Well, if that was to be the answer to their absence, then it wasn’t fair to hold any level of animosity towards them, a weight being lifted from his burdened shoulders upon realizing your staff could strill be trusted in.  

Now all that was left to worry about is finding the culprit… and the status of that too.

“Is she ok?” Naoya would ask.

“She is, I managed to—”

“No, I mean… that.” Naoya’s voice hints to a silent agreement between the two. “Is… that ok?”

The doctor quickly catches what he means, affirming so by a nod. His reassurance lifts an immeasurable weight from his heart, even greater than the alleged betrayal of Mariya and the rest. One less thing to worry about.

“What now, then?”

“Since the damage was limited, to say the least, it won’t be necessary to move her to a hospital, however—”

She’s still in danger. Naoya concludes. More so if the attack came from someone inside… And what makes him think that just because he’s back they’ll stop trying?

If anything, seeing how close they got, they could try once again!

The mere thought is enough to push him into taking what is perhaps the most radical decision he could’ve taken in this situation, something that might come to torment him in the future, but until then, he won’t care, not even a bit; not when he had your safety to worry about:

That is… Naoya fired everyone, effective immediately.

He took no heed if any of them had been serving the family for years, if they were close friends of his father, or if their livelihood would be affected— Naoya just wanted them out of his sight, the estate, and as soon as possible, less they wanted to receive more of his anger, before continuing with the rest of his plan.

Due to the gravity of said situation, Naoya knew he had to contact your family; he also knew that you would’ve refuted the idea as soon as he mentioned it to you, not wanting to worry them if you’ve truly been attacked, but he couldn’t do this to your father; not when he was amongst the few people in the world he knew had your wellbeing as utmost priority— as well as holding a great amount of respect and appreciation for him, specifically for the way he welcomed him into your family.

Eiichi, your father, had to admit that getting a call from the Zen’in estate that didn’t come from you surely surprised him beyond any comprehension, and yet, that would be nothing compared to the shock he’d get upon knowing the motive behind said call; Naoya swore he almost heard your father passing out, or at least, in the process of.

“Poisoned?!”  Eiichi gasped, tightly clutching onto the phone—he might’ve as well passed out and dived into a nightmare! “Is she ok?! Where is she right now?”

“At the estate, with me—the doctor didn’t think it necessary for her to be hospitalized since he was able to stop the poison from spreading any further, but she still needs rest.”

“And the baby?”  the referenced secret between Naoya and the doctor; your pregnancy.

“Fine.” He breathes, swallowing. “The doctor didn’t tell me of any damage done to the baby…  but I’m—I’m still taking her to the doctor, just—just to be sure.”

“How could this happen?” Eiichi laments, heart breaking not only for you, but for Naoya as well. Your father knew all too well what it was to lose the love of his life, a pain that he would never desire on anyone, not even his own enemies…

One that he could slowly begin to hear in Naoya’s voice; oh, he could only imagine the pain he was going through, or what waited for him if he had lost not only you, but his child too.

But, well, the worst is over… at least for now.

“Someone from the staff did it.” Naoya declares, Eiichi’s heart sinks even further. “But I’ve taken care of it, I’ve fired everyone.”

And your father, contrary to Naoya’s relatives, did not question him. If anything, he seconded his decision, because had he been in your husband’s shoes, he would’ve done the same thing.

“Was her staff involved?” Your father asks, feeling a slight… anger with the idea that the ones you greatly cherished could’ve plotted against you.

“No, they were not; in fact, they were out of the estate when all this went down.” Naoya responds. “But I know that if they had been here, this would’ve never happened in the first place.”

“Bring her here, with me.” Eiichi immediately suggested, Naoya blinks, startled by the idea, if not against it.

“Father—"

“We can take care of her while she’s recuperating, take her to the doctor too. I’ll make sure that she has everything she needs. And not to misjudge your staff, or lack of, but the people here would never hurt her—they’ve known her since she was a child! There won’t be another safer place for her to be than here, Naoya. At least…  until she’s better.”

Previously, Naoya would’ve questioned the veracity of his words, done all he could to prove you were much better with him, but after this occurrence… he had to agree.

As much as it hurt him to know you’d be away from him, especially when you were pregnant… he knew this was the right decision to make. He couldn’t expose you to another similar situation—not even if he got a completely new staff… or if you didn’t want to leave.

So, Naoya accepts Eiichi’s suggestion, alongside buying him a ticket for the earliest available flight to Kyoto; a few hours later, your father would arrive to the estate, rushing to your side, keeping you company while tending to your every need as Naoya prepared everything for your departure.

When you eventually regained consciousness, you were (although a bit surprised) overwhelmingly elated to see your father visiting you, for it had been so long since you’d seen him, probably around the time you announced your pregnancy!

However, that excitement would soon diminish when Naoya told you why he was there… alongside the cryptic explanation of your “sickness.”

“It was an allergy.” Naoya would say, not wanting to stress you by the fact that you were intentionally poisoned, although that excuse did little to stop you from doing so. “Rare, but it can happen, especially with pregnant women.”

“An allergy…? But I didn’t…” you frown.

“It happened to your mother, once.” Eiichi followed Naoya’s lead. He hated lying to you, but… he concurred that keeping you safe, both mentally and physically, was worth doing so. “It’s nothing but hormonal changes, so don’t worry much about it.”

“I guess…” you frown, pressing your lips. “But that still doesn’t explain why I have to leave.”

“We need to check what caused your allergy” Naoya responds. “It might be something about the food, the flowers, or even the wood; I rather you be safe than to go through that scare again.”

“But is… all this really necessary?” Naoya gives you a tight smile and a nod. “Naoya, I—"

“It’s not all bad, Y/N.” Naoya says.

“Besides, don’t you want to spend time with your papa? It’s been so long since I’ve spent time with my adorable pumpkin!” Eiichi laments.

“Dad!” you gasp, flustered by his words. “Don’t—don’t say that in front of Naoya…”

“What? It’s true! And that’s all I’ve ever wanted to do since I learned I’m going to be a grandfather!”

“Stop it!” your face becomes redder. “You’re embarrassing me!”

Naoya chuckles; it’s not like he’s seen you in… worse situations. Or better?

“But… I guess a visit is overdue.” You eventually concede, Naoya and your father sigh out of relief. “Though what about Mariya, Haruko, and Hitomi?”

“They’ll go with you, if you want.” Naoya says; he doubts they’ll say no, especially after knowing of the whole fiasco that occurred when away, might even offer themselves before he suggests the idea.

“If I didn’t know any better, sounds like you want me gone.” You jest, Naoya frowns. “It’s a joke, of course…”

“There’s nothing more I would like than you staying here, but until we figure out what caused that reaction from you, I’d rather not risk it.”

“It’s only temporary, Y/N. Besides, look—I brought you gifts!” Eiichi says, taking out the bag he brought from home seemingly out of nowhere, filled with things he knew you’d love, such as sweets, your favorite mochi’s of course, alongside some plushies that would always brighten your day when you were a child. “And there’s much more back home…”

Naoya can’t help but feel relieved you had your father for support, but at the same time, a bit jealous and, well, threatened. Not for bad reasons, of course, it was simply because how the hell did he not think of bringing you gifts first?!

“Dad… you’re embarrassing me in front of Naoya.”

“Ah, that’s a parent’s bane, isn’t it? To always embarrass their children—you’ll see what I mean when you both have your baby.”

Perhaps the main reason why you ended up agreeing to leave was because your pregnancy did not seem affected by your supposed allergy; had it been you would’ve refused to leave your husband’s side!

… Well, you still would’ve refused either way, but perhaps a bit more. You hate the idea of being away from the father of your child for too long, after all.

“I don’t think so—Naoya and I are going to be the cool parents, you’ll see.”

“That’s what your mom and I thought, and look at me now, can’t even say anything without you telling me I’m embarrassing you!” Eiichi says, you chuckle.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, mom was cool! You were always the funny one!”

Naoya smiles.

Now he knows for sure that there’s no safer place for you to be in than with your family, even if that were to be on the other side of the country…

After Naoya prepared everything for your departure, the three eventually made way to the exit, where you and your father would bid their last goodbyes.

“Won’t you accompany me?” you ask, a slight pout on your face, he smiles in hopes to cheer you up, but really, he felt miserable.

“I want to, but I can’t.” He explains. “I have to deal with this as fast as possible if you’re to come back quickly.”

“… Will you visit me over there, at least?” you frown.

“Yes. As soon as I have a chance, I’ll go see you.” Naoya promises.

It had all been too soon, just a few hours ago he arrived at the estate, and now, you’re leaving. Naoya laments that he couldn’t spend a day with you before your departure… but he guesses this to be a rightful sacrifice for your well-being.

“I wouldn’t dream of keeping away from my wife and baby for too long.”

At those words, Eiichi couldn’t help but frown out of sorrow.

It wasn’t fair that neither of you had been able to enjoy this wonderful occasion as you should.

He still remembers the excitement in your voice, the glint in your eye, and the beaming smile on your lips when announcing your pregnancy—alongside the nerves that came with it, of course, which Eiichi eased by reminding you and Naoya that their enthusiasm was nothing but indicative they were already on their way of becoming the loving and supportive parents their baby needed.

But as excited as both were, Eiichi had to cruelly put a stop to their celebrations, especially after Naobito was made aware of this, who wished to proceed by announcing the news to the whole community.

“I have to disagree, Naobito.” Eiichi would be the first to reject the idea, much to everyone’s surprise—yours, specifically.

“And why is that?” He’d ask back, not understanding why the father of the expecting mother, of all people, would be the one to reject so.

“It’s best if Y/N keeps her pregnancy a secret, at least… until it’s undeniably noticeable.”

“But… why, dad?” you asked. This was a moment of absolute joy, to be treated as such! So why did he intend to keep it a secret? Was he… disappointed?

No. Never. He was nothing but happy to see you happy and become a grandfather himself for the first time in his life!

But as a man of his years, he’s learned to be cautious of how said blessings are to be celebrated, as well as seen his fair share of happiness turn sour… things that Eiichi would rather take upon him than allow them to ever befall you.

“Because there’s people out there that might try to hurt you—or the baby.”  He’d explain. “Naobito cannot not deny this, but if anyone hears that you’re pregnant with the Zen’in heir’s baby, those that want to hurt the Zen’in clan, or our family, will see this as the perfect opportunity to do so.”

“I’d never allow such thing, rest assured, there’s no safer place than—” Naoya quickly interjects, wanting to reassure your father, but Eiichi was set on his warnings.

“I wouldn’t have said this if I didn’t see it myself.” Eiichi reminds him, Naoya swallows. “We live in a highly competitive world due to the nature of our families; I’ve lost my wife because of this! And I’d be damned to allow it to happen again to my daughter.”

He hated to remind you of the harsh truth; hated to see how your face would sadden, the excitement for your first child, his first grandchild, quickly disappearing…

“Why would someone do that?” you murmur, frowning.

“They wouldn’t dare—I’ll make sure of it.” Naoya hisses.

Eiichi remained silent, sad for you and your husband. Because even if you’ve experienced first-hand what it is to lose someone through these matters, both have yet to fully understand the extremes those supposedly loyal to them can go to if properly incited. Especially for someone who had so much to lose, just as the elite members of prestigious Zen’in clan.

Even then, your father would not allow such pain to reach you, not the same way it almost did to him and your mother, so, he insisted you keep these news secret from the world—and if you must, only if you must, reveal it to your most faithful ones; the rest could learn when your stomach was too big to deny.

If you do so, keep your baby hidden from the world, safe from those that harbor nothing but pain and sorrow… all will be fine. Eiichi promises so.

…

Or so, that’s what everyone hoped would’ve happened, because if there’s one thing to be learned from this incident, is that no matter how cautious you were, word of your pregnancy still managed to land in the wrong ears, and now, were actively against it.

The question no longer pertained as to how, but rather, who; who was the author of this terrible act?

The notion that someone of Naoya’s relatives, indirectly informed through Naobito’s… drunken rambles, soon crosses the minds of your father and husband. If so, it would make sense as to why they’d use an innocent staff member to do the deed, keep their hands clean of the whole situation, instead of going to bigger extremes.

It’s the most probable of the theories, but they could not annul the following: jealousy from the servants.

Naoya considered that statement to be the most delusional one your father could’ve gathered, but he’d be wise to remember how others perceive him—or more like what he represented. It wouldn’t be too far-fetched that others would desire what he had, or him, in some cases. And naturally, you’re an obstacle to that goal, your baby even more so…

It wasn’t fair, but it was your reality.

Nonetheless, Eiichi and Naoya will still do whatever it takes to keep you safe.

“It’s just for a few days, pumpkin.” Your father would say upon seeing the sadness in your face, which remained even when reassured that Naoya would be with you as soon as possible. “Besides, you’re going to see your brother and sister too—they’ve missed you very much, you know? They’ve been wanting to spoil you and their future niece, or nephew!”

You smile, it’s good that even when in the storm, your family is still able to exude happiness. You could only imagine how enthusiastic they’d be when the baby was finally here.

“I know… I missed them too.” You admit, before looking over to Naoya one last time. “Well… I hope that whatever is keeping you here is quickly dealt with.”

“You won’t even notice I’m gone.” Naoya promises, placing a kiss on your forehead. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about anything—before you know it, you’ll be back at the estate, with me.”

That’s a promise he unfortunately, doesn’t know if will become true inside the promised timeline, but will do anything in his power so it does.

Either way, it’s safe to say that Naoya did manage to keep one part of his promise—and that would be the one where he reassured you wouldn’t even notice his absence, done through sending you endless amounts of gifts, every day, effectively filling your room to the brim with all things he’d knew you’d like, and some for baby too: from clothes for you, to cute onesies he’d like his baby to wear when she was finally here.

“You still think the baby is going to be a girl?” you’d ask through one of the many videocalls he’d make—one daily, at the very least. “Wait a minute… you better not have spoiled me!”

“I just know” He reiterates with shrug; you roll your eyes. “If not, then I’ll have lots of things to return.”

“Well, if it’s worth anything, I also feel like our baby is going to be a girl.” You smile, warming up Naoya’s heart. “I can’t wait to meet her—I just know she’s going to have your eyes!”

“Or yours, I hope.” He longs, you blush. “Have you been eating well, my love?”

“Yes; and no allergies yet.” You explain, Naoya feels relieved—at least the problem didn’t follow you there. “Maybe I was just unlucky that day, Naoya… Are you sure I can’t return to the estate yet?”

“Not until I’m sure you’re going to be safe here.” Naoya responds, and while his words are meant to be comforting, you can’t shake off the sense that something worse happened; that something far bigger than a simple allergy had struck you, specially with the way your staff and family would act around you, going as far as denying you of any information pertaining to the Zen’in.

But… if your husband had a reason to not say anything now, then the best you could do is trust him. The truth will come out eventually, you suppose. So instead you could focus on other pressing matters.

“Well, at least don’t send me too many gifts.” You continued. “While I appreciate them, between you and my father, I don’t think my house has enough room to store all the things you’ve both given me.”

“Who’s given you more things? Me or your dad?” Naoya nonchalantly asks, you gasp.

“Naoya! That’s not the—take it seriously! Control yourself with the gifts, ok?” you say, he chuckles, but ends up agreeing; at least until the topic has quieted down, because there’s no way in hell he’s going to let your father win the upper hand like that one day ever again. “Or at least save them to when I’m back at the estate… which I hope is soon.”

“Almost there.” Naoya says. “Just a few more things, and we’ll be together once again.”

… even if the answer was to be the same, you still needed to ask.

“Is… everything ok?”

Not precisely, not when he has yet to find out the one responsible for all this…

But he’s gotten a lead, an idea of where to start, of who to hunt—which he knows he’ll find in record time thanks to the fury he harbors, further motivating him to do this as quickly and precisely as possible just so he’d have you back home, with him.

“Nothing you should worry about.” He reiterates. “Just keep focusing on your health, the baby, and not doing anything strenuous.”

“I’m just pregnant, Naoya… nothing extraordinary. I still want to help around., you know?”

“I know, and you’ll be able to do that and more in due time, but for now, keep safe, for me, ok? And our little mochi.”

“When will I see you again?” you ask again, hoping that perhaps this time around, the answer will be different.

“Soon.” He promises. “Soon, my love.”

Once he deals with the bastard that hurt you.

Naoya will give them nothing but a glimpse of the sorrow and pain they’d put you through, his fury—make their life a living hell, make them regret the foolish idea that they could ever get away from it; and still, he doesn’t think he’ll be satisfied with his revenge.

He’d want more, he’d want everyone to know that his family are not ones to mess around with.

He’d burn the whole world to set the message across if necessary—and that would only be the bare minimum for you, the love of his life, and now, his baby…

His home.

#ask #naoya zenin #naoya zen'in #naoya x reader #naoya zenin x reader #naoya zenin x you #jjk naoya #naoya zen'in x reader #jjk x reader #jjk fluff #jjk x you #prompt series: jujutsu kaisen

[suugarbabe]

Saving Grace (II)

[Chapter 2]

Pairing: Mattheo Riddle x Reader

Word Count: ~2.7k

Warning: none

Summary: Mattheo and Y/n need to devise a plan and pray to Merlin their friends can't see through their facade.

[chapter 1]

Your fingers tapped the top of the table that you picked at the back of the library. Mattheo had agreed to meet you roughly ten minutes ago and you were getting restless. He was pretty notoriously late to classes so you guess you couldn’t be too surprised he was late to this meeting as well. You started chewing on the nails of your hand that wasn’t tapping on the table, mind racing of all the ways your plan with Mattheo could go wrong. “You know that’s terrible for your nails, love.” You jumped at Mattheo’s voice, breath brushing against your ear as he leaned down behind you to whisper. You glared at him as he sat down across from you. “So, what’s the plan, beautiful?” Mattheo’s eyes were playful, as was the smile he wore as he spoke. 

“Do you really think that or are you just doing that thing where you try to be charming just because I have breasts?” You seemed to have stunned him into silence for a moment, but he recovered quickly, “First off, the charm comes naturally. Secondly, do I really think what?” You sat up straighter, trying to find the confidence you had just moments ago. “Do you really think I’m beautiful?” Your cheeks burned as you finished your sentence. Mattheo grabbed your hand, “You are very beautiful, Y/n. But I don’t have some sort of ulterior motive, love.” 

“Then why are you helping me?” You questioned. Mattheo shrugged his shoulders, “Do I need an excuse to put Pucey in his place?” You laughed together. It was nice, seemingly feeling at ease with someone that could so easily instill fear in so many people. It was strange, you had known of Mattheo your entire Hogwarts career. You had come in together, sorted into Slytherin the same day. He’s essentially worn the same smirk for six years straight. He’s snogged two of the girls in your friend group, not that you think he’d remember. You’ve seen him in several fights, bruised and battered in classes for several days after. But you don’t think you’ve ever seen him like this, eyes crinkled from smiling, head thrown back, just looking comfortable in general. 

You must have been caught in a daze because Mattheo was once again snapping in front of your face, “Y/n, you still with me? You do this zoning out thing a lot?” You blinked a few times, shaking your head, “Sorry, aha, just lost in thought I guess. Pucey really gives me the creeps and I wanna make sure we’re convincing if need be.” He nodded, leaning his elbows on the table, “Like we’re gonna make out in front of him convincing?” He wiggled his eyebrows. You couldn’t help but laugh, “Well thank Merlin we’re setting ground rules because you clearly need direction. So…give me the details of the party, what time is it supposed to start, what houses are going to be there, where do you generally hangout in case I need you?” 

He pulled at his bottom lip as he thought about his answers. He started talking with his hands, using his fingers to make sure he responded to each question, “Slytherin is hosting the party, obviously. I think it’s supposed to start around nine or something like that? But as you experienced today, I don’t generally show up on time. As far as who’s invited, I’m pretty sure it’s just a free for all, so that should be helpful in putting some distance between you and Pucey.” You stared at him blankly, obviously confused as to how that was helpful, “More houses means more bodies, more bodies means more obstacles between you and the git. Easier to duck away from him and find yours truly.” He smiled so cheesily his dimples started to pop out. You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms in the process, “Again, where would I find you at this people packed party that you’ll be late to.” 

“Typically, we hang out in the back corner, where the more comfortable sofas are going to be.” You motioned with your hand for him to keep talking, “And this ‘we’ consists of who exactly?” He started rattling off names, “Me, Theo, Pansy, Enzo, Blaise, Draco and whoever happens to be Draco’s flavor of the week.” He smiled at himself for the last bit. “I’m sure your flavor of the week is typically included in that as well?” You asked cheekily. “This time, that’s you, Princess,” he winked and you scoffed. You had set firm rules for yourself that you were not going to fall for his normal tricks. In this situation, you were the one using him and it was not going to be turned around at any point in time. 

“Okay, loverboy, ground rules. We need to set them. If we’re gonna convince Pucey that I’m with you, you’re gonna have to control yourself and not flirt with, or at least makeout with any other girls at the party. Think you can manage that?” You were teasing him mostly, but also slightly worried that his head downstairs might dictate his actions more than his head upstairs. “Contrary to popular belief, I am capable of controlling myself. I just choose to make sure I’m fully entertained at these events.” 

“Well, I’m your entertainment this party, understood?” Mattheo nodded slowly, “Understood.” You took a deep breath before continuing again, “How much PDA do you think will be necessary?” He smiled a little too widely for comfort, “Well personally, physical touch is my love language, so I’m very touchy. I won’t shy away from touching you, maybe have you sit on my lap if we go by my friends. Maybe a kiss or two, yanno, just to be convincing.” You nodded, “Okay, I can do that.” Mattheo looked a little shocked at your response. “Listen,” you started, “Adrian’s a fucking pest, as soon as he notices me at this party he’s going to try and be attached to me like a leech. So I’m willing to do anything at this point, which leads me to my next question.” 

He waited for you to continue. You took a deep breath, your words seemingly slamming together as you let your breath go, “Doyouthinkwecouldstartthiswholetonight.” His eyebrows furrowed together, “Slowly for me, love.” You closed your eyes, wincing at your words, “Do you think we could start this whole thing tonight. Like, at dinner? Just be seen together, maybe a little flirty banter or something. I just wanna make sure other people besides just Adrian see us interact in a slightly-more-than-friendly way, if…that’s okay…” you trailed off, peeking one eye open to gauge his reaction. To your surprise he wasn’t smirking for once. He just nodded, “I agree, our friends have to think something is blossoming as well otherwise their confusion will throw Pucey off. Wanna let me know anything that’s absolutely off limits?” 

“No sex,” you might’ve answered a little too quickly. At least that was what you hoped was the reason Mattheo started laughing. “There’s just obviously no reason because we’re just…faking it for when people are around. I get your adventurous with…things…but yeah, I don’t think that’s necessary.” Mattheo held his hands up in defense, “Not a problem. I can handle it.” He smiled now, “What are you friends going to think when they see you with me? Will they be skeptical?” You shook your head, “No, I don’t really talk about to them about guys I like or anything like that, so they would probably just think it was another guy I’ve kept from them. You’d definitely be the first guy I was out and open with whilst at school though, so that would be new to them.” Mattheo’s head tilted slightly as he listened, curiosity in his eyes, “Who have you been with? Do I know them?” You pretended to zip your lip and lock it, indicating you were not going to reveal any names to him. 

He stood then, holding his hand out to you, “Shall we go to dinner then, darling.” You stood, grabbing his hand. He laced his fingers with yours immediately, leading you through the library toward the corridor to the great hall. The two of you earned several stares on your way out, a few people leaning in closer together and whispering to each other. As you left the library into the corridor Mattheo leaned down to whisper to you, “A simple walk through the library and we’ve already got people talking about us.” You smiled at the ground, following him quietly through the halls. The staring and whispering continued. You’d never had attention on you like this, but Mattheo barely seemed to notice. He pulled you closer to him in the hall, making sure you were right on him all the way up to the great hall. He stopped right before the doors, turning back to you, “You ready for this, love?”

You nodded your head, “Ready as I’ll ever be.” He turned back around, still holding your hand as he walked through the great hall doors. It felt like everyone’s eyes were on the pair of you. You knew that probably wasn’t the case, but there were definitely those keeping a close eye on you. He led you towards the Slytherin table, your friends eyes nearly popping out of their head. Your friend, Ottilla, stood, stopping you both, “Y/n, care to introduce us to your…friend?” Mattheo plastered on a smile so deep his dimples popped through, “Mattheo Riddle, pleased to meet you.” You found your voice suddenly, “Mattheo these are my friends, Ottie, Darcy and Flora. Though I’m pretty sure you’ve made an acquaintance with two of them previously.” Your mouth leveled into a thin line, but no one seemed to notice.  The three said a chorus of ‘hello’s’ to the boy. “Darcy, Flora, nice to see you again,” Mattheo winked, “Do you mind if Y/n sits with me for dinner tonight? I promise she’ll give you all the details later.” The smirk never left his face. All of your friends nodded, like they really had a say anyway. 

As you approached the other end of the table, Mattheo’s friends didn’t even look up. He sat down next to Draco, patting the bench next to him for you to follow. You sat, waiting for his friends to start questioning you being there. Mattheo cleared his throat, making the others all look at him, “This is Y/n, she’s erm…a new friend.” Draco scoffed, “Is that what we’re calling the girls you bring around now?” He immediately regretted his words as Mattheo elbowed him in the ribs, “Don’t be rude, cousin.” Draco mumbled a muffled ‘sorry’ under his breath. Mattheo introduced the rest of his group. You, of course, already knew of all of them. Admittedly you used to have a crush on Theo in third year, but found him far too intimidating to even approach. They all said a proper hello to you. You weren’t sure if they were actually being nice or just feared Mattheo too much to be rude to you in front of him. 

“You coming to the party with us tomorrow then?” You turned at the sound of Blaise’s voice. You stole a glance at Mattheo, who simply nodded, encouraging you to answer on your own. “Erm, yeah, i-if that’s okay.” You heard Mattheo laugh softly next to you, “It’s not up to them, love. If you want to show up with your friends first, that’s okay. You know where to find me when you’re ready.” He gave you a soft kiss on your temple, the gesture causing Draco to raise his eyebrows. Enzo and Theo looked at each other, smirks plastered on their faces. “Something to say Enzo? Theo?” Mattheo challenged them. They shook their heads, smiling to themselves. You didn’t talk much the rest of dinner, just watched and observed how Mattheo interacted with his friends. He was quick witted, and very funny. Funnier than you expected him to be. You found yourself smiling a lot more than you anticipated. Mattheo and his friends actually weren’t that bad of company considering. The group seemed to have warmed up to you by the end of dinner. All except Draco who stayed skeptical, though you were pretty sure that was his constant state of being. 

You could feel someone watching you. You turned to see Adrian down the table, glaring at you. The sight of him made you physically stiffen. Mattheo noticed your change in demeanor, following your stare. Mattheo leaned in close, whispering in your ear, “Let’s give him a show, shall we?” You weren’t sure exactly what Mattheo had in mind, but at this point, you had to trust him. You nodded your head, silently giving him permission for whatever he had planned. He cupped your cheek, lightly rubbing his thumb across your bottom lip. His hand slid down to your throat, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as he used this grip to pull you into him. His lips pressed to yours gently, adding just enough pressure to make your heart race before pulling back, “Ready to go, Princess? I’ll walk back with you.” You were at a loss for words, your heart racing wildly. You nodded and began standing, Mattheo following suit. You said a quick goodbye to the others, looking down the table once more to see Adrian sulking. That made you smile. 

Mattheo wrapped an arm around your shoulder as he walked you out of the great hall. Once you entered the corridor you found your voice again, “Pucey looked like someone pissed in his pudding.” Mattheo giggled, and you didn’t think you would have heard something so adorable from him. “It was fun to fuck with him, you played along pretty well,” he was holding your hand now as you two walked toward your common room. “Honestly, the kiss was more tame than I anticipated,” he raised his eyebrows at this. “Oh? A hand round your throat a usual occurrence for you, y/n?” His tone was teasing, you played along, “I don’t kiss and tell.” He hummed to himself, filing that bit of information in the back of his mind, “Well I thought my tongue down your throat might be a bit much for the dinner table.” You smiled but didn’t respond, instead just kept walking until you reached the common room portrait. You let Mattheo speak the password, then followed him through the entrance. 

The few peers that were already in the common room kept peeking over at the two of you. You did your best to ignore them as Mattheo walked you to the sixth year girls' dorm door. There was no one in the hall, but he still held your hand. You were facing each other now, you were the first to break the silence, “Well I guess I’ll see you at the party tomorrow?” He shook his head, “Not unless you plan on skipping divination…and charms, and…potions.” You laughed, “Forgot we had classes together.” You paused for a moment, tilting your head, “Wait…we don’t have potions together.” He was smiling to himself now, “I convinced Slughorn to let me switch from the afternoon class. Told him I needed the afternoons for quidditch practice. Figured I could keep an eye on Pucey that way, seeing as after that class is normally when he stalks you.” You shook your head in slight disbelief, “Seems you’ve thought of everything.” Mattheo wore a proud look, “I’m a lot smarter than people give me credit for.” 

More students started coming back from dinner, filling the common room and walking toward their dorms. You looked back at Mattheo as Pansy turned the corner towards the dorms. You wrapped one hand around the back of his neck, going up on your toes to place a kiss on Mattheo’s cheek, “I’ll see you in class tomorrow.” His smile seemed genuine, not just one to convince other people. “See you tomorrow, Princess.” And with that he walked back down the hall, leaving you to follow Pansy into the dorms.

[chapter 3]

AN: I don't have a set schedule on when I'll be updating this story, just kind of doing it as things come to me, but if anyone wants to be in a taglist for this one, let me know 😊 . I'm also open to any suggestions about what you may want to see, etc. I do have a general idea for the party in the next chapter already, but I'd love to hear what you guys wanna see happens

#harry potter #golden era #mattheo riddle #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo riddle x y/n #draco malfoy #blaise zabini #theodore nott #lorenzo birkshire

[retroellie]

Have you thought about something to twisted games but reader reveals that noone has ever went down on her and darl wants to be the first and only one to do it?

Summary: Daryl is surprised to hear you had never been gone down on... He wants that changed immediately

A/N: I've been dead again I know, but y'all I'm in college now, and lemme tell you... I'm so tired of writing essays :( i needed a break from them and college life so have this :) also, the gif looks goofy as hell... it's the first time I've made a gif on my laptop lmao

Warnings: Cunnilingus, pussy-eating, fingering, some dirty talk

Word Count: 2.6K

It had been a lazy day today, at least as lazy as it could get in the apocalypse. You had woken up and helped out with gardening while Daryl went out on a small run with Michonne but then you had both met back at your shared home. You had come home first and you weren’t there long before you were in the shower. That’s where Daryl had caught you, he didn’t think you would mind if he joined you. It was an innocent shower. Surprisingly, Daryl helped wash your hair and he allowed you to wash his back gently as you didn’t want to hurt the scars lying there, as if they would hurt anymore.

The relationship was new, like 2 months. You guys were still finding things about each other, like his scars. You hadn’t known about his abusive childhood or the scars that reside on him, not everyone knew. You found out only a month ago when you guys first had sex, you had been underneath him, feeling him quite literally stretching you open. You had run your hands down his back and felt the raised scars, at first it didn’t register what had happened but you had suspicions. Then after, you were laying in bed watching him get dressed and that’s when you saw them.

You kept quiet about it, not wanting to upset him but you knew. So everything was just new to y’all, it was all so exciting and nerve-racking. After your shower, you both took a long much-needed nap. Daryl had his head buried in your chest as he literally laid on top of you. You loved how comfortable he had gotten with you, he was once cold towards you and would barely touch you or let you touch him. Now he was always on you and he always craved your touch.

When Daryl had woken up though he had gotten a little too needy, walking you up with kisses along your neck as he pressed his knee against your cunt. You had woken up pretty fast, the pleasure coursing through your body and making your body heat up. So now here y’all were, Daryl tongue fucking your mouth as you sleepily bucked your hips into his leg. It was pure heaven at that moment.

It all had been normal enough, nothing new simply because Daryl didn’t want to be too rough with you, especially after being so laid back all day but soon his kisses had trailed off down your neck. He made his way down your chest, then your stomach, then your thighs. You were quick to push him off, not trying to freak him out but you were confused as to why he had his face down there.

“What are you doing?” You asked, confusion reeked through your comment.

Daryl squinted his eyes at you, sitting back on his knees as he shared your confusion. He thought maybe you had been kidding or maybe you just didn’t want to do that right now, maybe you just wanted to dry hump him and then fall asleep once again.

“What does it look like I’m doing…” he chuckled, hands settling back on your thighs but he stayed sitting on his knees.

“I don’t know… that’s why I asked.” You threw back at him, it sounded mean but you were really just confused.

You hadn’t been with many people, you weren’t too experienced. Maybe 2 partners at least and one of them you only had sex once with. You didn’t know much about sex and honestly, Daryl taught you a lot within the month you guys had been going at it. He taught you how to position your mouth while giving a blow job so you don’t choke, how to roll your hips instead of bouncing yourself when riding someone, how to rub your clit teasingly while touching yourself because it makes you cum better and most importantly how to speak up in bed, demanding what you wanted and communicating that towards him. You knew what these things were, you just had to be taught it. But this… whatever Daryl was trying to do was new to you.

“Has no one ever gone down on ya before?” He asked, watching as your face contorted into more confusion as if that was possible. “Ya know, like ate you out?”

You shook your head, considering the fact you had never heard of these terms or had anyone face level with your cunt like Daryl had just done, you probably hadn’t. The thought made Daryl kind of upset, Daryl had remembered the first time you had openly admitted to having your first orgasm with him so he shouldn’t be surprised. In all honesty, he hasn’t been too big of a fan of your ex-boyfriend.

Daryl had met him, he was some college motherfucker who was still in his annoying “drunk college frat boy” era even at age 25. He was annoyed by him but so intrigued by you, he was intrigued by the fact you were with someone like that asshole. What upset him was how your ex-boyfriend used to fuck you, as creepy as it sounds, Daryl would listen to y’all. Not that he had much of a choice, you both had been neighbors to him in almost every location you had stayed in.

He could hear your fake pornographic moans as you pretended to cum, it was obvious but your boyfriend at the time only cared for himself. It was always the same position too, you had told Daryl this after y’all had gotten together. It was always super vanilla and you would never cum, ever. Daryl could tell your ex-boyfriend only cared for himself, in bed and out. That’s how he ended up dead in the first place, he ran off while you were stuck in a hoard only you had someone to save you… Daryl. He ended up getting caught by the hoard later on, but Daryl didn’t even think to go find him.

Daryl knew of your inexperience but this… this was simply unacceptable for him. The thought of you never getting eaten out, never having your pussy eaten out nice and right like you deserved, created a deep desire within him. He wanted to make you scream, wanted to edge you until you were begging to cum, he wanted to make sure his name was carved onto your tongue for the rest of your life but for now, on this lazy day, he was okay with just allowing you to slowly come undone on his tongue.

“Do ya trust me?” He asked, rubbing soft circles on your thighs as he spoke.

You did trust Daryl, with your entire life. It just made you nervous especially when you didn’t know what he was trying to do. There were so many things you didn’t know about yourself, your body was almost completely foreign to you so you weren’t sure what you liked quite yet. You did know you wanted Daryl to make you feel good and if he thought this was a way to do it, you would let him.

“Of course, I just don’t know what ‘going down on you’ means…” You stated, throwing up quotation marks with your hands as you quoted him. Daryl just chuckled, slightly pushing you down but it was more like he was guiding you to lay back down.

“If you stop talking and just let me show you…” he said, pecking your lips once more before he slowly once again kissed his way down your body. “Just trust me, that’s all I’m asking bunny… You know you can always just tell me to stop if you don’t like it.”

You let out a soft moan as he left soft love bites on your chest, leading them down to your core once more. You decided to just let him do what he needed, you knew if you ever felt uncomfortable Daryl would stop almost immediately. You kept your eyes on the ceiling, a bit embarrassed by his face being so close to your cunt, it felt more like a gynecologist visit than sex but you decided to let it get better.

Daryl trailed his kisses down to the inside of your thighs, kissing them one by one as he trailed higher and higher until his nose dug into your clothed pussy. He gasped as his nose hit your clit, swollen and soaked as he chuckled at your reaction. You threw your head back, biting your lip to hold back your moans, which honestly were quite embarrassing since he had yet to even touch you. Daryl sucked on the inside of your thigh, allowing you to feel his nose rub against you as he left a hickey.

He selfishly wanted to keep this moment going, wanted to tease you and see how even the littlest amount of touch made your toes curl. He decided to stop his teasing though because if he was honest, he felt eager to taste you. He kissed your love-bitten thighs once more before poking his head out from underneath you.

"Can I take these off?" He asked, hooking his finger underneath the band of your underwear.

You nodded your head, your eyes still on the ceiling as you were too embarrassed to look into his blue eyes. Daryl had noticed this, noticing your hands on your stomach as you scratched at it. In other words, Daryl could see you slowly going crazy at the feeling already.

"Hey, bunny..." He grinned, reaching up to grip your chin to look down at him. "It ain't gonna be fun if I can't see them pretty eyes..."

You managed to peel your eyes away from the ceiling and finally look at him as his hand rested on your chin. You smirked, murmuring a soft "sorry" as you watched him retract his hand and place it back on your thigh. He opened them slowly, as wide as you were comfortable with.

"Good girl... just stay like that for me hm..." He whispered out, his hot breath against your clothed cunt.

He smirked up at you, hooking his hand underneath your underwear before sliding them down your legs. He was soft with it, running his hand along your leg as he took them off so slowly you thought you were cum just then. You watched his every move with wide eyes, watching him get back into the position he was before. He could've warmed you up but he couldn't handle it anymore, so he dove in.

He was soft with it at first, and the kitten licked your clit as he rubbed up and down your slit. This action made you want to close your legs subconsciously, the action so sudden and quick your body tried to reject this foreign feeling. Daryl kept your thighs open though, one hand on your thigh as the other massaged your slit. You moaned softly, having a hard time making eye contact with him.

You knew right off the bat this was going to be a problem for you, you knew you would not be able to look at his lips or tongue the same anymore. You knew he would be kissing those lips more than he would your actual lips, but Daryl was completely okay with that. Daryl continued his soft actions until he felt you would go insane if he didn't speed up.

He slowly started licking up your slit, teasing your opening with his finger and sometimes sticking his tongue in just to hear the high-pitched moan you would make. Daryl made sure he didn't miss a single spot of your cunt, making sure he was licking up every single drip of you and allowing it to rest on his tongue as he tasted the sweetness of it. He couldn't explain how good you tasted to him, it was as though he was starving for so long and he finally got a taste of the sweet food he's been missing out on for his entire life. It was addictive.

"Fuck... Daryl..." You moaned out, your voice box already giving out as you squeezed your eyes shut and gripped the sheets.

Daryl just smiled at your reaction and decided it was the perfect time to shove his 2 fingers in you. He knew you would not be able to last very long, and he was okay with that for now, obviously, he would definitely work your tolerance up to it soon enough but now he was okay with being your first. Daryl wanted to make sure you would never forget this moment like he did with anything when it came to pleasuring you. He wanted to make sure if a younger or more handsome dude came around, you would know who fucked you the best.

Daryl started a slow pattern on your clit, soft kisses followed by kitten licks and then sucking on it before he would slowly rub it with his thumb. It was a crazy pattern, very sporadic, but it was his way of trial and error, seeing which technique made your toes curl the most. So far, you seemed to really like when he sucked on it softly so he made sure to do that the most. He continued his abuse, feeling your walls close against his fingers as it became harder and harder to finger fuck you.

"Fu... dar... I'm... c...fuc..." You could literally not get a single word out of your mouth before a moan would hit you.

Your toes were curled, your mouth agape as you're back arched up until your head was thrown back into the pillows. Daryl started to push his fingers in and out of you at a medium speed, not wanting to overwhelm you too much, and his mouth began to suck softly on your clit. He could tell you were on the edge when your moans turned to screams, feeling your walls tighten even more.

The tight coil in your stomach finally snapped, cumming onto Daryl's fingers with a scream as you shook violently. Your thighs wanted to close around his head but Daryl kept them wide open. daryl fucked and sucked you through your orgasm, feeling your walls contract against his long fingers as you're juices flowed down them. You couldn't stop moving, you're squirming became unbearable and that's when Daryl decided to stop his movements.

He pulled his fingers out of you, stuffing them in his mouth. You watched him in amazement, a new sheet of arousal dripping from your swollen cunt. Daryl made his way back up to you, seeing how sweaty you had become. Daryl smiled down at you with his soaked face, holding himself above you. He popped his fingers out of his mouth before leaning down to kiss you.

You could taste yourself on his lips, it was almost nauseating as everything became too much for you. You ran a hand through his hair, pulling it slightly as you melted into the kiss. Daryl had to physically pull you away from him so you could breathe, he loved how needy you had become. You were so unsure of it at first and now you had fallen in love with it, fallen in love with him even more as he was the one who opened you up to it.

"You liked it huh?" He spoke, pushing some hair out of your face as it stuck to your sweaty forehead. You nodded aggressively, "liked" was an understatement. "Knew my bunny would... Do you need anything, hun?" He asked, slightly concerned at your rapid heartbeat.

You just bite your lip, pulling him into another kiss before pushing him down by his shoulders. He knew what you wanted, he knew you wanted him to go down on you again and he wasn't the one to turn that down.

"Needy little thing huh?" He chuckled as he kissed down your body once more.

"Less talking and more going down on me" You joked back, watching him place himself back in the position he once was in.

"don't gotta tell me twice darlin," He grinned up at you before diving back in. 

#daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon smut #the walking dead fanfiction #daryl dixon #the walking dead #twd daryl #daryl dixion imagine #daryl dixon x reader

[ladyrowrites]

SPENDING VALENTINE’S DAY WITH JJK MEN ♡

A/N: I was supposed to post this on the weekend but I got sick. Anyway, all better now so enjoy reading :)

Warning: Implied smut, MDNI!!!!!

Contents: SO MUCH FLUFF! Valentine's day with Gojo, Geto, Nanami, and Toji

♡Gojo

This man will spoil you to death so of course he surprises you with SPA DAY! After brunch, he takes you to the luxurious Four Seasons hotel and you both go up to the 20th floor. 

You look up at him, “Babe, where are you taking me? You already gave me flowers, chocolate and took me to brunch.” 

He grins and winks at you, “Why are you still surprised babe? I am THE Gojo Satoru, ya know I’ll give you the world if you want to right?” While kissing your left hand. 

You just rolled your eyes at him – arrogant as ever. He just weakly laughs, “Don’t worry about it, princess.”

The elevator opens and as you are stepping out, you can hear the serene music and see the waterfalls by the entrance. The spa receptionist bows and both greets you softly, “Good Afternoon, welcome to Four Seasons Spa.” 

You squeeze his hands and he massages your back as a reply and says, “What? You need some pampering. You’ve been working too hard.”

The spa attendant leads you to change rooms and once you are in a comfortable robe, all your stress from work is instantly gone. You met him outside the change room and he was smiling so handsomely to you. You can hear all the spa attendants' squeal and side comments on how lucky you are. 

Oh, he is loving this attention so you pinch him lightly on his left arm. He pretended to be hurt and laughed, “Let’s get this straight tho, Y/N, I am the lucky one.” Then he lifts up your chin and kisses you tenderly on your lips. You felt your heart exhilarate for a moment - Satoru really makes you feel emotions you haven’t experienced before.

“You ready?” While presenting you his manly hands for you to hold. You nodded and took his hands. You both did so much pampering with the couple's facial followed by the couple's massages and of course mani and pedi after. 

After all the relaxation you did today, you feel like you’re ready to go home and sleep for atleast 12 hours, “Thank you Satoru for today. This was the best Valentine’s treat ever!” It was your turn to kiss him passionately. He sweetly smiles at you and tickles you on your sides then leaned in and whispers, “Anything for my princess… Now, it’s dessert time.” 

“Dessert? I’m still so full from brunch!”

He has the biggest smirk plastered on his face, “Heh. You’re my dessert.” He seductively says to you.” While sliding his hands on your thighs.

♡ Geto

He took you to the restaurant you’ve been wanting to try. You can see the customers and waitresses looking at him with hearts in their eyes and for some reason you just want to grab and put your lips in his and proclaim to everyone that HE IS TAKEN! He read your mind though because he knows you too well. 

He half stands up from his seat in front of you and pecks your lips. He sits down again and gently says, “Baby, you have nothing to worry about. I’m yours.” While stroking his thumb on your hands and staring at you like you’re the only person in the room. You love it when he reassures you like this. 

Before leaving the restaurant, he says that he has a surprise for you. You are now walking towards his tattoo shop and so you looked at him suspiciously, “Hmm? Do you have a tattoo session today?” He said his day is free for you so it’s just odd that he’s taking you to his shop right now.

“Shhh, just follow me.” He opens the lock and leads you inside his studio. He then sits you on the black leather couch and gets his ipad to show you something, “Here, look at this stencil.” Then sits beside you.

You saw the drawing in his ipad and you were stunned, “Suguru? Wait, no… is this?” He nods at you, “Yes, that’s the tattoo you’ve been asking me to make and yes my surprise is to tattoo you today if you still want it.” You latch on his arms and excitedly respond yes!

He wraps his left arm in your waist, “Are you sure? Cause’ once I—”

“Yes, please! I’ve been wanting this piece! I’ve made up my mind and I promise, I won’t complain.” You give him the beautiful eyes, “Okay, but no whining, beautiful.” Then he stands up, puts his gloves on, and prints the stencil. The piece that you want is a polydamas swallowtail butterfly with a dagger in the center of it. The dagger was the same one from Mortal Kombat’s Skarlet because it’s both of your favourite video game to play even though he secretly always lets you win.

You want it in your sternum so you lifted your shirt halfway but he lifted it more and you caught his wrist, “Suguru!” He laughs, “Oh, but princess I have to put alcohol a little bit higher than that.” Higher means your boobs basically. You rolled your eyes and just said, “Ahuh.” 

The tattoo lasted 3 excruciatingly painful hours. You wished that he actually told you that you were getting it today because you needed a numbing cream on your sternum. And even though Suguru was gentle, it still hurt, especially the shading portion but Suguru talked you through it and it was worth it in the end. 

You thought that that’s it for the surprise but when you went home there’s petal red roses on the floor and a bouquet of peonies in your living room table with your favourite chocolates beside it. You hugged him and said thank you for being the sweetest man ever. You ate one of the chocolates right away because you can definitely have some sweets right now after all the pain you went through. 

You offered him some and then he back hugs you while he speaks with a low guttural tone, “Hm, I’d rather have you tho.” And then softly places his lips on your neck.

♡ Nanami

You are of course a spoiled princess when it comes to Nanami. You are the love of his life and you are the one who taught him that there was more to life than just working away. You told him you don’t need any gifts for Valentines’ as he always treats you anyway. But he just nonchalantly says, “Love, don’t worry about it, it’s already handled.” 

You wake up first to ensure you give him your gift first. You made sure he is still asleep so you tiptoed your way in the kitchen and grabbed the small box of cookies you made for him. You went to your bedroom again and you can’t help falling in love all over again - on how he was peacefully sleeping with his blonde hair touching his eyes and his chiseled face relaxed.

You sit by the floor next to his side of the bed and slowly comb his hair that was in his eyes. He steadily opens his eyes and smiles at you when he sees how close you are on his face, “Hi, gorgeous.” He says while pinching your nose playfully. “I have a small surprise for you my love.” Then you give him the neatly gift wrapped box. 

He kisses you sweetly on your lips and sits upright by the headboard so you move to sit in the bed and wait patiently for him to open your gift. “You know my love, you didn’t have to, right?” He says while unwrapping it. Now, it was your turn to pinch his nose, “No! I have to. You’ve been really great to me, it’s only fair I give you one.” 

He sees the cookies and he laughs, “Oh my, I didn’t know I looked this good.” The cookie you baked was his different expressions and that was not a lot but you tried your hardest imitating it in your cookies. “What? My favourite one is this one – the one where your eyebrows meet and I can already tell you’re about to lecture me face. Come on, eat one. Let me know how I did.”

“Hmmm, not bad at all. White chocolate, my favourite.” He says approvingly, “But you know what’s sweeter than this?” He puts your gift to the bedside table then grabs you by your waist and starts tickling you.

“Hey! Nanamin! Stop!” You said laughing. He then hugs you tightly and whispers in your ear, “Hmm, you know what the pottery class I booked isn’t until 3pm anyway… So we have lots of time.” He booked the pottery class because you love that pottery scene from Ghost and of course he wanted to be Patrick Swayze for you.

“Time to do what?” You innocently batted your eyelashes at him. He then goes on top of you and with his oh so low sexy voice says, “I think I’ll just show you gorgeous.” You giggled and slapped his biceps playfully, “NANAMIN!!!!”

♡ Toji

Toji isn’t really a romantic type so when you asked him what he wanted to do for Valentines, he just gave you a “What the fuck is that? Why is that a holiday? Look” You just rolled your eyes, not expecting anything anymore. You figure since you don’t think he’ll give you something, you decide maybe you'll just spend your time with your friends.

Valentines’ day comes and you are going out to lunch with your girlfriends Shoko and Utahime – they both called it “‘Galentine's” day since they don't have dates either. You do have a man tho, but he doesn’t celebrate it so it’s whatever. Just one day, you thought. You kiss Toji goodbye and you want to be irritated at him but he hugs and whispers to you, “I’ll be waiting for you to get home.” Then winks at you.  He also tapped your ass while you walked away. You just rolled your eyes. He's such an ass man.

You were having lunch at the Italian place Utahime suggested and even though the cream gnocchi is really good, it’s been leaving a bitter taste in your mouth. “Girl, come on, don’t be so upset. You know Toji’s personality. He still loves you, he’s just not the celebrating type of guy.” Shoko comforts you.

“Yeah, you kinda signed up for this ‘ya know?” Utahime comments, “I knooooow. But still, even a box of chocolates or just a single stemmed flower, can he just do that?” You frustratingly reply.

“Tss. Valentines’ day is such a scam. You know that girlie!” Shoko says, “Yeah you’re right! Anyway, it’s Galentines’ day today so what’s next on our agenda ladies?” You tried to suppress all your irritation because whatever!  Valentines’ is a scam for capitalism but it would not hurt him to just atleast give you something? Anything? Even a love letter. Again, whatever. You shake your thoughts.

“Oh yeah, how about bowling? Sounds good?” Utahime answers. 

After losing to Shoko in bowling, they suggested another activity – archery.

“What? Can’t we just go to some bracelet making shit? I don’t know how to play that.” You whine. “Noooo, come on, this will make you forget your irritation at him. Just think of the target as Toji’s face.” Utahime drags you to the class which is conveniently near the bowling alley. 

“Fine. I mean it’s too early to come home anyway.” 

“Atta girl!” Shoko replies enthusiastically, “Don’t lose again to me, losers.” While making an L hand gesture.

Utahime and you both rolled your eyes at her, “Ugh, the attitude!” She jokingly replies.

When you cross over the street, you see a tall and buff man wearing black jeans and a tight black shirt. You know that built everywhere but you’re not sure at the same time because his face is covered with a bouquet of blue roses with tiny little teddy bears attached to it. Whoever is that girl, lucky, you thought. 

You are distracted when Utahime leads you inside the Archery entrance, “Uhm so? Y/N, this is where Shoko and I leave you. We had a great Galentines’ day thanks to him.” You look so confused looking between Shoko and Utahime but they are giggling and pointing behind you. When you turned around you saw your tough looking boyfriend holding a bouquet of flowers. You are about to speak when they immediately say goodbye to you and wink, then mouthed, “Have fun.”

You now turn to your doting boyfriend - shocked. He playfully laughs and says, “You think I won’t do anything for my girl?” Then kisses you passionately and your heart begins to flutter and dance. He gives you the bouquet and you are just so stunned because you were not expecting anything from him, “You can close your mouth now babe. Haha, Come on, I’m not that heartless.” He then leads you to your archery lane.

He spends his time carefully teaching you how to angle the arrow right and where your shoulder should be. It was a bliss spending archery class with him even though he was praising himself more. Typical, Toji *eye roll*

Little did you know, there is more surprise because when you went home, there were white petal roses on the floor and a candlelit dinner ready, “You prepared all of this? And you cooked my favourite food too?” You shockingly asked him. He just smirks at you and says nonchalantly, “Well, I am the best boyfriend.” 

He won’t admit it but Toji has some romantic traits under that tough exterior. Also, he asked your friends to take you out to distract you while he cleans the house, cook dinner and prepare all this – even giving Shoko the money to pay for lunch and a bowling outing for the three of you. 

You move forward to Toji to hug him and he catches you by your waist so you wrap your legs around his torso and began kissing his whole face for being the most loving boyfriend and promised him that he’ll have the best dessert right after. *WINK WINK*

#lady ro writes #gojo fan fic #gojo satoru x reader #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #gojo x reader #jjk fan fic #jjk valentines #toji fan fic #jjk toji #toji x reader #jjk nanami #nanami kento #jujutsu nanami #nanami x reader #jjk kento #jjk geto #geto suguru #geto x reader #jujutsu geto #suguru #geto x y/n #nanami fan fic #geto fan fic #toji fushiguro #toji fushigro x reader #valentines fan fic

[chrollohearttags]

when the smoke clears • portgas d. ace

vice fire chief!ace helps comfort his subordinate after a rough call.

content + themes: fluff, comfort, ace being a sweetheart (and an asshole 😭), black fem reader, soft smut, oral kissing and hand holding, him + reader crying during 🥹, angst, mentions of arson + child death, so if that triggers anyone I’m sorry.

word count: 6.0K

📝: are y’all sick of me and my cheesy fire pun titles yet? 😁 sorry, I just really love this series and their dynamic. This was also longer than expected but I got carried away! 🫶🏾

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰───────✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰────

many things came with the responsibility of being a firefighter. It wasn’t an easy occupation by any stretch of the imagination. You saw and did things that the average person had the pleasure of not encountering..entire homes, entire families, generations and years worth of memories wiped out in an instant..you oftentimes risked your life with minimal reward whilst also being tasked with the heavy burden of saving others. But when you failed to do so, the weight of the world felt as if it were teeming on your shoulders and it was far too heavy to lift off on your own. Sure, there was therapy..perhaps even certain mechanisms to help you cope but there are some things you don’t forget. And all of that rang true for the newest recruit at Company Eight, (y/n) (l/n), who had just experienced your very first call that resulted in tragedy rather than a rescue. And needless…it had taken its toll…

“Oh!..Hi, Ace..so nice to see you.”

“Good evening, Miss Robin. How are we doing today?”

it was a chilly Wednesday evening..the impending onslaught of winter just around the corner for the big city. Snow had begun to fall, leaves wilting and turning to that beautiful rustic color that signified the turn of the season. It was such a delightful sight..but for you? The world seemed to be standing still, doused in gray and your heart may as well have turned black. Try as you might to hide it but the pain was still too sudden and fresh to just disappear so soon. Currently, you were home..the very spacious, four bedroom, high rise condo overlooking the city that you shared with your two best friends and roommates, Robin and Nami. Nami, who worked for The National Weather Center as a climatologist spent long hours helping to predict forecasts and track the weather patterns so that they can properly inform citizens of any impending storms. It was a rather unique and lucrative job..ideal for her! As for Robin, she was a professor at the local university, teaching archaeological studies and conducting research. She was a scholar; a woman of many academic achievements and just as your boss had arrived at the front doorstep of you guys home, she was preparing to head out for an overnight excavation, being led by other researchers in the field who needed the expertise and knowledge of someone like her. They were extraordinary, talented women who you were happy to call not only friends but sisters. Even so, with all of their intelligence, there was a topic that seemed too difficult to tackle, even for them…

handling grief. Grief that had accrued from your last call and perhaps the hardest one that the firehouse had seen in a while. It was weighing heavy on the hearts of everyone, even the more seasoned veterans but that didn’t make things any easier.

they had watched you traipse about the condo, in a stupor; spending your days off that would’ve been filled with productivity to do all of the things you couldn’t in your harrowing twenty four hour shifts to lie in bed, cry and sleep. It was awful and they couldn’t imagine what it was you were feeling at the moment. So they decided to call in someone with special expertise to help handle the situation. They had both met Ace prior through mutual friends at a gathering and they couldn’t understand why you held such resentment for such a kind, caring gentleman who seemed to really have a soft spot for you. Sure he gave you a hard time but only because your stubborn ass deserved it. If he didn’t put you in your place, who would?

“I’m doing wonderful. Please, come in.” So whilst the two of them were gone, they’d entrust your fate in the hands of the one person you probably preferred not to see but needed to. For the sake of your sanity and your job! With those deep set eyes, dark hair and signature grin, the vice fire chief made his way over the threshold, exchanging typical pleasantries with your roommate before she offered him warm coffee to help deter the cold and he’d happily accept. It was whilst they were at the table, drinking their beverage did the elephant in the room become addressed.

“So..how is she?”

“If you want my honest opinion? Not so great. We had to drag her out of bed for breakfast and a shower. I’ve never seen her like this before.” She’d also go on to explain how you’d woken up out of your sleep, screaming and reaching out to someone. Saying ‘take my hand’..only to slam back down to the mattress in a fit of tears. You’d laugh one moment, be angry the next and then a full sobbing mess afterwards..the realization was setting in for Robin, who was hurting for you. They were helpless and struggled to understand how it was you were feeling, less known to overcome it. Ace, however, had become accustomed to it and had a far better grasp on how to deal with this. Nodding his head, he’d take another sip before speaking.

“I see…y’know, it’s hard to imagine the girl who takes any opportunity she can to bite my head off actually crying. Just doesn’t seem like her..” but Robin could attest. What most mistook for anger or feistiness with you, your girls knew you were emotional at your core. You carried things much more intensely than everyone else. You felt it deeper than anyone else did and because of that, when instances like this happen, you didn’t exactly handle it well.

“She’s resilient..stronger than anyone I know but she’s also a lot more sensitive. (Y/N) has always had a knack for empathizing with others. It’s what I love about her..that kind heart. She always wants to help those around her..maybe that’s why she was adamant on becoming a firefighter. It’s strange..I wanted to stop her when she told us the news. To grab her and ask if she had gone crazy but…my fear didn’t stem from her rushing into burning buildings or an accident..it was something like this. Because she doesn’t just internalize their feelings..she internalizes their suffering, their pain. She tortures herself into believing that if she can’t help someone then she’s failed as a person. That tough exterior is nothing more than a facade, a mask to keep everyone from seeing just how fragile she is.”

it was then that Ace acquired a better understanding of not only your current mental state but you as a person as well. He knew now that the woman who hid behind these stoic faces and temperamental attitudes was actually a sad child who had never healed from past trauma. However, he couldn’t, in good faith..allow you to come back on shift until you were feeling better and if that never happened, then he’d be forced to resort to more permanent measures. Once the two finished up their coffee, Robin would gather her things and prepare to leave. “I'm going to go tell her goodnight and I’ll let her know you’re here..” With that, the tall, dark haired woman headed towards your bedroom. Her backpack, chocked full of exploration equipment and other necessities tossed over her shoulder along with a thermos in hand. She’d leave a faint knock for which you’d allow her in and that’s when she’d be met with the sight of you lying in bed, curled up in the blankets and cradling a stuffed animal. It was the only bit of comfort you’d had.

“Hey, sweet girl. How are we feeling?” Her deep and soothing tone brought you immediate peace as she sat at the edge of your bed, stroking along the side of your face. That nurturing touch was the only semblance of comfort you had felt in these past few days. Even so, you couldn’t bring yourself to admit the truth..the truth that would reveal the fact that you weren’t doing well in the slightest. Curled into a fetal-like position, (y/n) bundled the blanket up to your face. Almost too ashamed and frightened to face her. Abashed by the fact you were behaving this way. Although it couldn’t be helped..not when every time you shut your eyes, you’d relive the horrors of that night. Toiling with it over and over, thinking of what you could’ve done differently. It seemed as if no matter what scenario you went through in your head, it seemed as if the result would be the same. There was nothing that you or anyone else could do..even so, it didn’t stop you from shouldering the blame. However, you wouldn’t be sulking for long if he had anything to do with it. As Robin continued to console you, barely garnering a whisper from you, you’d proceed to tell her that you were okay. Which she knew was a lie but it was better than mere tears..

“C’mon, rookie. Are you really going to stay here sulking? It’s sad..”

Suddenly, your pity fest was soon interrupted by the very familiar and irritating voice of the last person you were hoping to see. Not only would he undoubtedly make you feel worse but you most certainly didn’t want him seeing you in such a state. Although he never voiced it, you had the sneaking suspicion that he thought little of you. That perhaps he bet on the fact that you’d one day succumb to the harsh conditions of this job and wouldn’t be able to handle it. Maybe you were proving him right. You’d feel the bed shift as Robin stood to her feet; only bending down to place a gentle kiss on your temple, telling you that she loved you and would see you later once she returned from her expedition. She’d also take Ace’s appearance as her cue to leave. She felt safe leaving you in his care. Today and any other day..

“..go away, Ace. I’m not in the mood..”

cradling the blanket into your fist, you’d slowly turn back over and avoid facing him. The last thing you wanted to be vexed with was his nonsense. But he wasn’t here to pick a fight or even argue with you. He was used to your anger, used to that foul mouth and bad attitude. What he couldn’t stomach the thought of was you being upset. Kneeling near the side of the bed, he’d press a hand to your covered hip and try to get a peak at your face. Hoping that he’d be able to soften you up. Although it’d be no easy task..that much he was aware of. Still, it wouldn’t stop him from trying his best to make you feel better.

“Yeah..I figured you’d say that.” releasing a heavy sigh, your superior would then rise back to his original posture, before doing something quite unexpected. Suddenly, you’d feel the weight of the bed shift drastically before you were greeted with the sight of him lying next to you! That same obnoxious smirk and deep tone that normally made your skin crawl. Without so much as a warning, he’d peel those covers back from you and reveal your gaze as well. “What are you?--” “There she is..that pretty face. Y’know, crying really doesn’t suit you. Neither does acting like a big ass baby.” As per usual, you wouldn’t get away unscathed without him taking jabs. But this was exactly what you needed. Someone to bring you back to reality! If anyone understood the gravity of the situation you were grappling with and how difficult it was, Ace was the one. He’d seen many tragedies since his time as a firefighter. From car accidents, crime scenes and horrible fires that had destroyed families in a matter of minutes. He had a sort of immunity to it and didn’t let many things phase him for his own mental state. That silly facade was his own coping mechanism. Otherwise, he’d be knee deep in a bottle again and that wasn’t a place he wanted to go back to. But even he could empathize with you on this. It was a brutal scene..one of the worst any of you had ever encountered..it was difficult but you were definitely taking it harder than anyone else.

“And what the hell would you know? Huh? Everything is always a joke to you. They died right in front of me..right in front of me, Ace and I couldn’t do shit!..Do you have any idea what that feels like?!” Just then, your voice would ascend into a higher pitch and you’d become hysterical. You’d become livid..just one of the many emotions you were experiencing. How dare he speak to you as if you were some petulant child throwing a fit? This wasn’t some small mistake you all could laugh off..a mere teaching moment. A family was broken apart at the seams, a mother burying their kids and a cowardly father who took his own life to avoid the consequences. And the only thing that you could do was stand there and watch the flames engulf them. See two innocent babies become swallowed after the support beams of their home fell in front of them. You’d try to run in and save them but were promptly held back by your fellow firefighters. You lacked the experience to tackle such a feat and the only thing your presence would’ve caused was another unfortunate casualty. You even sustained some injuries that hadn’t even hit you until after your adrenaline wore off. But none of that mattered..nothing compared to the pain of seeing two little kids yelling ‘help me’..only two feet away and there was nothing you could do to help them. Your other two teammates rushed in, barely escaping with their lives to assist them instead but by that time, smoke inhalation was what ultimately caused their demise.

“Who does that to their own kids?! What type of fucking monster would burn them up because he was mad at their mom?! Why couldn’t I help them, Ace? Why didn’t you let me?! Do you really hate me that fucking bad!—“

By this point, you were more than lively. A bit more than he anticipated and before he knew it, you were screaming, sobbing and slamming your fists into his chest. He expected this..hell, he blamed himself. As soon as he got the call, he should’ve told you to stay behind. But shielding you only would’ve felt like a slap in the face and he was doing you no favors by sugarcoating the severity of this job.

“Because I didn’t want to lose you too!” suddenly, you’d feel your wrists clutched in his grasp and him holding you close. But you’d also notice the welling tears brimming in his eyes. A true first! This was the very man you’d always catch with that stupid smug grin on his face and laughing. Yet here he was..mirroring your sentiment. He’d then try to feign them off and look away over his own shoulder. Trying not to let you see him in that state. “Damnit, rookie!..you think I did that to spite you? All of this, the whole situation fucking sucks and if there were anything I could do differently, I would. I failed, okay? As your superior and a firefighter..and I have to live with that. I have to face the consequences of my decisions but I couldn’t take it if something would’ve happened to you. I–...” it was only a matter of time before he crumbled and it was seconds later that you’d watch the once strong and upbeat chief fall apart. “I’m sorry, (y/n)..” but alas, his tears and apology didn’t sway your resolve. You were angry with him! Angry that he was yet again protecting you. Now face to face, the two of you sat there..only inches apart. His hand cradling your own and you refusing to let go. This was by far the most vulnerable that you had ever seen him and in a way, it almost made you feel sorry for him but you had to let him know exactly how you felt. Leaning forward, you’d move as if you were trying to kiss him but instead, went for a slap. Bringing him out of his self sulking trance.

“What the hell?!--” “If you’re really sorry, then stop treating me like a goddamned baby! Ace, this job means everything to me. I didn’t become a firefighter to sit on the sidelines and watch people die. And it seems like as of late, all you’ve done is try to coddle and try to shield me from it. I don’t get it..do you really think I’m that useless? How the hell do you think I feel? Everybody thinks I’m incompetent because of you. No matter what I say, I can never look that mom in the eyes and tell her how sorry I am. That I did the best I could because I didn’t. You took that from me, Ace..why do you insist on smothering me?!” and you wouldn’t believe him even if he told you the reason. It’d probably only make you even more irritable. But hell, now was as good of time as any to confess what was on his heart.

“..any man would want to protect the woman he loves, wouldn’t he?” You were still amid your rambling when the words seeped from his mouth. Just as flatly as any other phrase he had uttered before. Almost as if he were afraid to admit it but it was true..every bit of it. He had fallen for you over this past year or so and there was no way of denying it. All of his domineering overbearance was due to this blossoming crush..this deep seeded passion that had sprouted into pure adoration. “Fuck’s sake..swear you drive me crazy, rookie. Can’t believe I’m even telling you this..” That’s when he’d burst into laughter, now swiping the tears away from his puffy, dark eyes. There it was. That’s why he was acting this way..he didn’t want to tell you in fear of pushing you away or even be accused of showing favoritism just because you were a woman. He never once doubted or even questioned your skills. But his feelings? They had grown far stronger than he was ready to accept. He knew you could handle it but in that moment, his natural instinct was to grab you. Even at the expense of your own mental health and pride. Even if it meant you’d hate him for it. Hold you close and never let go..because he didn’t want his last memory of you to be walking to your death. Honestly, he wasn’t being entirely truthful because he knew it’d only make you feel worse but there was nothing that any of you could do. Even the most trained and skilled first responder would not have been able to change the outcome of this tragedy. You all went in and risked your lives for these children but it was to no avail. One step closer and it would’ve been a suicide mission.

“I know it’s selfish and honestly, you have every right to resent me for it but I can’t help myself. You’re a hell of a firefighter, I’ve said that a million times but you’re also the girl I can’t stop thinking about. The one I just want to keep safe and protect from it all but that’s not fair. I can’t ask you to hold back because of my sore feelings. You did everything right, rookie. This isn’t your burden to shoulder so stop sitting around here crying, worrying your friends. None of this is your fault, okay? Nobody blames you, not even that mother. She even came by the fire house to thank you for how quickly you rushed in to help her kids. I just..I can’t take knowing that you feel like this because of my fucking stupidity–”

Quite frankly, you’d heard enough of these pitiful excuses and half assed attempts at trying to do damage control. But most importantly, you couldn’t take anymore of this..no more of his heartfelt confession because then you’d be forced to confront your own emotions. The deep seeded truth that you loved him as well. After a year of intense, passionate hookups and going through arguably some of the worst scenarios together, you couldn’t help but to become close. Even if it went without the obvious mention. Amid his long winded rant, you’d gently cup his cheek into your palm before kissing his forehead and eventually, his lips.

“You’re right about one thing, you are very fucking stupid..”

Immediately sending the flustered chief into a pout. But it was obvious that he meant every word because his cheeks flushed red as he felt your touch. “You don’t mince words, do you?” “No, but I am thankful for you..even if you get on my fucking nerves.” To which he could only chuckle and place his head down. He wasn’t expecting some picture perfect, Hallmark moment with you. That was for certain but you were still just as crass as ever! Reaching over, you’d take his hand and gently caress his knuckles with your thumb pad. “Listen, Ace..I feel the same way you do. As bad as I didn’t want to admit it. Hell, I’d tell myself I was just being delusional but the truth is, you do make me happy..” he couldn’t ask for much more than that, honestly! He was expecting you to be utterly repulsed by his words and here you were saying exactly what he was hoping for. On the contrary though, there was still a tiny bit that he was missing.

“Still..love isn’t supposed to be suffocating or overbearing. I can’t ever grow or learn if you don’t let me. I don’t want to just be ‘the girl you love’, I wanna be your equal…I want you to acknowledge me as a capable firefighter. I don’t want to be coddled and held back. I don’t ever want to feel what I have been for these past few days ever again. I don’t think I can take it..” finally, you’d lean in and cup his cheek; flustered a bright red by your heartfelt words. “I learned from the best, didn’t I? So I think I deserve to prove it.” What more could he possibly say? You were so precious to not only him but everyone at Company Eight. You all were family and losses were never easy, especially when they were so young but you all should have been proud. Proud that they realized your weakness and held you back for your own safety. Proud that you all had done everything you could to rescue those children, even if the result wasn’t what you all hoped and proud that you were still standing here..as a vice chief and fellow friend, he was so grateful for each of you and as much as he wanted to internalize that burden as well, he did none of you any favors by pouting or feeling sorry for himself. The only thing any of you could do now was move forward and keep getting better. Keep training and learn from your mistakes. And if he wanted his team to continue to grow, he couldn’t allow his own fears and bias to cloud his judgment. Otherwise those feelings would swallow him whole and the only thing he’d do is push you away.

“You really are something else, rookie…I swear you make me want to be better than I was the day before..it’s crazy. But I promise I’ll become a chief worthy of your respect. I won’t ever hold you back ever again.”

For now though, he just wanted to be one with you. Be in this moment with you and not let go. To immerse himself in your skin, to touch you and know that he still had you by his side. “I love you, Ace..” tenderly reassuring him as the gap of distance slowly closed between the two of you. A gentle hand cradling his face and his tugging at your hip. There was no greater feeling in the world than this.

“Say that again, baby..tell me one more time.” By now, he had laid you back flat to the mattress and his lips honed in on your neck, suckling and slowly kissing your flesh. Around your earlobe and even your collarbone. You’d utter the words once more and like a wave of fresh water, you’d allow him to drown you in his affection. Giving you the comfort and warmth you so desperately needed. The kind you had been craving. The kind that only he could give you!

“Can you tell me it’s mine?..please?..”

“You sure are demanding today..”

in only a matter of moments, you’d find yourselves entangled in a passionate bliss. His arms wrapped around you and your hands scaled the curvature of his back. This was nice..the only thought that could cross your mind. A simple one but true nonetheless. This familiarity..the comfort of knowing, feeling something that you were used to was nice. A feeling you no longer wanted to fight..you wanted to give in, submit and let the overwhelming emotions swaddle you. Safety, affection, genuine care..they all felt so foreign until you met him. Despite the fighting, anger and resentment. They were the only false feelings you harbored. No matter how far you tried to push him away, he’d only find himself falling deeper.

“Yeah, but at least you’re smiling now so it's fine..” chuckling gently against your lips, causing a faint vibration as he brushed the side of your face. Right now, nothing else mattered. He wasn’t leaving this room until your mind was out of that dark, dreary place. And he knew just how to do the trick. Soon, you’d feel his tongue snake from his mouth and make a beeline from the starting point of your jugular, not letting up until he reached your belly button; pausing only briefly to rid you of the t-shirt that you had been sporting. Immediately sensing the tension in your body resolving by the second. Ace honed in on your very sensitive and erect nipples that seemed to draw forth and elicit the most lively reaction from you. Feeling you tremble, hearing those light huffs…it was all he needed. He'd then lean up to check on his beloved. Adorning your temple with a soft kiss..

“..can I make you feel better?”

and without hesitation..frazzled and with labored breathing, you’d nod your head and whimper. “Y-yes, please..”

from there, he knew exactly what needed to be done. From that point forward, he was at your mercy..in complete and total submission to bring you pleasure. To ensure that you were shrouded in nothing more than bliss. No pain, no tears..he missed that beautiful smile more than anything so he wouldn’t stop until it appeared again. Seconds later, you’d find your leg draped across his shoulder as he made haste in shuffling around to position himself flat on his stomach. It was then that your thighs would become parted and he’d expose your aroused core. Already dampened with warm slick from his previous teasing, he’d run a single finger down the center of your slit..brushing the pad over the surface of your swollen bud. With the liner of your panties still entangled around his digits, he’d keep the shield pulled back as he delved in to enjoy the scent and flavor of your essence. It was divine..just as amazing as always. He didn’t say a word..merely began to muffle his brims around your puffy lips. At this point, pure actions were the only atonement for his behavior. His failure as not only a leader but a lover as well. He hadn’t attended to your needs in any capacity and now, he was going to make it right.

“Ace…”

the words barely escaping above a decibel but he’d merely remain steadfast in his motions. Slowly and delicately tending to your folds. Running his tongue throughout the center of that sweet spot. His head burrowed deep between quaking flesh. Now wasn’t the time for snarky commentary or sarcastic retorts. He was going to prove that every bit of what he said was true. Without so much as a phrase uttered between the two of you, he’d give you the indication to keep grinding yourself against his mouth. Use him to your full advantage and derive all the pleasure you could from him. Ride out your orgasms and let him take away every ounce of your stress..right now, that was his only duty. Grasping for your hands, he’d keep you in place as you rolled and bucked those hips forward, nearly coming forth from the mattress. “Are you okay, baby? Tell me how you feel right now..” but if the faint ring of arousal around his lips and the way you were shaking was any indication, he had to guess that you were feeling pretty damn good! “I—so good..” that was the only thing he wanted to hear. To hear that you were okay. That you were feeling something..that you weren’t entirely numb.

“Thank goodness..here..” he didn’t want you to reach a climax just yet. That was something he wanted the two of you to achieve together. He truly wanted you to be one..

“Look at me..look me in my eyes, right now..” almost subconsciously, your head shifted to perfectly align with his own. Faces only mere inches apart as he bridged the space with slow, soft pecks. Ones that would undoubtedly leave you yearning for more once they concluded. But he wouldn’t dare to pause..dare put a stop to this sensual moment. Your energy meshed with his, your bodies so close and skin pressed directly atop one another’s…there wasn’t a single place he’d rather be than right here. This was more than just sex..a meager compensation for his shortcomings but rather, the birth of a new dynamic. Hoping to leave behind the days of trivial arguments and childish antics..he wanted to scream it from the rooftops that he belonged to you. No more the days of being immature to one another. From here on out, he wanted honest, effective communication. To be real with you in every aspect. To learn about you so that he could be attentive and love you even when it was impossible for you to do so on your own. In your weakest moments, on your bad days and roughest storms, he could be that brave protector you always needed.

“Hold my hands, baby. I’m right here, I promise…” you were barely speaking; eyes soaked and brimming with tears because you’d waited so long to feel this. For someone to come and take your worries away..

“Please..I need it. So bad..”

he dare not deny your request as he hastily removed those sweats, discarding them onto the floor, along with the pair of panties he glided down your calf until hit your foot..your body itself was more than a pleasure vessel. More than just the anatomy itself. Your breasts, your thighs, your center..it was more than that. This was home. Where he’d always come to find solace when he needed it most. Where he’d always return..so when he’d ease himself into you, one inch following the other..breathless moans ensued right behind it. The sensation of being sucked in and never wanting to let go. This is what true love making felt like. Eventually, you’d rope each of your limbs around his frame, coiling him in a tight embrace; mirroring the feeling of your insides around his shaft. Try as he might to push through, Ace was barely making headway..you were so tense still..almost as if you didn’t trust him. He’d heard your sentiments. The ‘I love you’ returned so sweetly but part of you still had reservations. Many nights had you given him your body, willingly without thought. Not searching for a thing other than menial pleasure..and he’d accepted! Selfishly taking you for his own needs and desires but could trust him with your heart? Could you trust him to hold something so fragile and protect it with his life? Would he truly love you the way you deserved?…

“..I’m sorry..”

just then, you’d hear him uttering in a shrill whimper. The warm dampness of his tears soaking your shoulder blades. He was crying!..for the first time ever, he had let go of all borders and barriers. He removed and shed all doubt he’d felt with other women. He was vulnerable..

“I’m so sorry, (y/n)..I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you.” Still easing in and out. That member pushed through the sponge-like bundle of nerves as his words rolled off his quivering lips. Nipping at your earlobe with gentle kisses that sent chills coursing through your spine. He was so remorseful for allowing you to sit here in despair. What type of man was he? “But I’m here now…I’m here now and I promise I’ll never leave you again. You have my word, baby. I love you so much, (y/n)..”

He couldn’t change his past but he could atone right here and now..making a vow to not only you but himself. That he’d never desert you in your time of need..both entrapped in a bout of hysterics, you’d sob quietly whilst your bodies collided in a fit of bliss. The lewd movements became a mere afterthought. You were connected and ascending on a higher plane at the moment and nothing could take you down. “I..I forgive you…I love you too..please..don’t leave me.” Somewhere behind that tough exterior was that frightened girl..once too afraid after being harmed by so many, to confront this scary world was making her reappearance. She was no longer alone. She had friends, amazing coworkers and now? A man who adored her more than life itself. He’d instantly feel those constricting walls loosen at the mention of the apology and now he was swollen and pushing through. The bed would rock underneath your colliding frames and before long, those inevitable peaks drew near.

“So close, baby..just a little more.”

“Don’t stop..”

but he could hold out no longer and neither could you. The intense emotions proved to be too much and you’d succumb to those powerful feelings. The wave of climatic bliss washing over you both in only a few minutes of beginning. That sensitive core gushed with secretions and juices alike, signifying that you couldn’t hold back. And he wouldn’t make you.

“Let it out..there you go. I’m so proud of you, (y/n). That’s my girl..”

Coaching you through that orgasm before he even thought of reaching his own. You’d both release loud cries and tear filled pleas to follow. He’d hold you close and you’d cling to his skin as if you were mere seconds from crawling in. Reveling in the beautiful moment revered as afterglow. It was magical..a type of love that you wanted to experience until the end of time..

“And I’m yours. All yours..I belong to you.”

pain was a temporary sensation, meant to only last for a season. But love? It remained for a lifetime. And much like the flames of a burning fire, sparked from an ember, he’d fight through anything to ensure that what you had lasted. After the blaze was put out and the smoke cleared, no matter the circumstances or storm..he’d be right here. Forever and always!

@honeybleed 🫶🏾

#cherry’s works ✦⭒ #one piece #one piece fic #portgas d ace #portgas ace x reader #portgas ace smut #portgas ace fluff #portgas d ace x reader #ace x black reader #one piece ace #one piece au #one piece modern au #one piece fanfiction #one piece x black!reader #one piece x reader #one piece smut #one piece fluff #black fem reader #poc reader #firefighter au #cw angst #cw child death #cw fire #cw smut #cw death #black reader #ace x reader #fire fist ace #modern au #ace smut

[sanjisblackasswife]

Heyyy! I’m currently experiencing some Luffy brain rot at the moment. Could I make a request for Luffy getting turned on by reader wearing his hat? Or calling him captain? 👅

A/N: Thank yew! I kept it kinda pg-13 since you didn’t specify if you wanted this completely NSFW or not and this idea could go either way lmao) Enjoy!🤍

“Luffy’s Hat” (NSFW-ISH)

Black Fem Reader in Mind

Luffy’s hat is his staple, It’s his personal treasure. Luffy’s hat is a physical promise he made to his mentor Shanks and he will risk his life in order to keep it safe.

Not many people have worn the hat under Luffy’s approval, but having him trust someone with it is honor in itself and today Luffy placed his hat on your head as he carried your tired body to the ship after fighting a few enemies. It was his fault of course and you both handled it well but unfortunately you fell in battle and got stuck in turn Luffy saved you.

He brought you to Chopper’s room and he let you just rest for a moment. Luffy let you still wear the hat as he went to the kitchen to eat and that’s when he heard your voice out the door.

“Oh hey! Thank you for saving my ass back there I should have been watching where I was going—-“

Luffy Never really was the type to listen completely to what anybody was saying but in this moment he most definitely was not listening to a word coming out of your mouth.

You had on his hat still and it looked gorgeous on your hair, it was even tilted a little to the side partially covering one eye. His hat shaped your face and hair so well how come he didn’t notice this before?

You looked hot.

“Also here you go! I made sure to keep your hat safe when you left.” You happily took off the hat fixing your curls making sure your natural hair shape was still in tact.

Luffy had a twinkle in his eye taking back his hat, he swallowed the lump in his throat and laughed, “Thank you Y/N!…the hat fits you a lot!”

“Why thank you, Captain.”

He blinked watching you walk out the kitchen, the cheer in your voice lingered in his ear. You never called him that, but it sounded so good rolling off your tongue. Not to mention you wearing his hat so beautifully. He gripped his pants for a second because he felt a little funny down there throwing him off a bit.

No. No he shouldn’t be attracted to that he knows better

But does he though?

-

“Hey, Luffy!” You greeted him without eye contact because you were too engaged in your book to look up but you felt his presence beside you anyways. “Need something?”

He just smiles at you warmly and takes off his hat to put back on your head, the sudden weight on your head made you look up at him with a confused expression.

“I—-“

“Can you hold on to that for me real quick?”

“Yeah sure.” You adjusted the hat back to your liking, slightly tiled just the way Luffy likes as well, however his subtle lick of his lip didn’t go unnoticed by you. “I look okay?”

“Yeah, you look cool. …Alright bye!”

You huffed through your nose at your silly captain watching him wave off to you. You started to get a bit sleepy and his hat was giving you a perfect amount of shade so you laid back on the reclined chair and tried to doze off .

Luffy couldn’t even focus on fishing on the head of the Sunny without looking down at your barely covered body. Something about how you wore his hat made his eyes not want to tear away from you. Your body looked so beautiful under the sun with HIS hat giving your beautiful face some shade. All that was seen was your supple glossy lips shining brightly under.

You felt a sudden weight on top of your pelvis, you opened your eyes now seeing Luffy hovering over you shading your entire upper body, he lids were low, and he had a very sly smirk on his face, he doesn’t do it often, but he looked kinda cute when he did.

“You need your hat back, Captain?”

That damn voice of yours saying “Captain”. He felt his pants feel funny again.

You started to reach up but he grabbed your wrist guiding your hand on his crotch, your eyes opened wide feeling the outline of his cock pressed against the fabric. “Lu—?”

“No…I’m your captain…. call me that.”

His voice was low and raspy, it didn’t help how close he started to lower himself on you either making you gulp. His eyes were dark and his mouth was slightly parted with his cheeks tinted red. You and Luffy never had a full on sexual relationship, you’d joke about sex to him and even kissed him a few times, but how he’s acting now is completely out of the norm as if he DID want to have sex.

And you kind of like it.

“Captain…how about we go to my room instead..if…you want me to help you with that.” You applied slight pressure gripping what your could of his shaft and he groaned silently before laughing and nodding.

“Yeah, we can! You have to keep the hat on though!”

You nodded, “Anything for you, Captain.”

You heard him curse under his breath while snatching you to sprint to your room. You always wondered what could make Luffy turned on. He seen plenty of tits, naked women, etc but who would have thought a simple title and his own hat on your head would do the trick to make him so turned on.

It felt good to know that.

#TimikosLuffy #one piece #one piece headcanons #black reader #one piece smut #one piece x female reader #mugiwara no luffy #one piece luffy #luffy smut #luffy #op luffy #monkey d. luffy #luffy x black reader #luffy x reader #luffy x y/n

[merrivia]

Thinking today about Damen and how and why he’s disconnected from his emotions, particularly when it comes to the trauma of violence and killing. When he throws the sword to save Laurent in PG, we only realise how much it affected him because of Laurent’s reactions, not his.

This scene is more that just a milestone in terms of Damen’s romantic feelings for Laurent. I mean, it is about that primarily. This is love and care starting to truly blossom, as we can see in the aftermath with his overwhelming concern for Laurent’s safety:

He lands on one knee (ouch 🥺). The rough voice (the anxiety he felt 🥺). The way he’s checking Laurent’s body, ensuring he’s unhurt and okay (😔). We can see through Laurent’s stillness that he is overwhelmed by Damen’s strength, by what he has sacrificed to protect him. It’s one of the most famous scenes in the trilogy for a reason.

But that’s not all that’s going on. Laurent is genuinely apologetic that Damen had to kill an Akielon in this way, and is going to have to retrieve his sword (pulling it out of the man’s torso) and hide the body. I mean the fact that Laurent has to tell Damen to do that is really revealing- Damen knows better than to leave the body. He’s reeling from what he’s done.

All of the emotional weight is carried in the phrasing of “when it was finished” and “…was all he said”. Damen has to put it completely out of his mind, can’t say anymore, or doesn’t. He’s killed an Akielon and is hurting but can’t express it.

Laurent sees that clearly and says so when he sits with him by the fire:

Whatever was on Damen’s face, whatever he was feeling, we as the reader are not told. Laurent sees it though and I think it must have been something close to anguish. And Laurent doesn’t dismiss this as just loyalty to Akielos, either. He sees him in this moment and in doing so acknowledges that Damen is not a mindless killer. That it’s not easy; that it’s never easy.

Damen’s response is really interesting too. He deliberately misunderstands and comes at it sideways. He knows what Laurent is saying, but doesn’t address it. Instead what he says is: I have been trained to be a soldier and that means killing with no hesitation. And I’m experienced, I’ve done it, many times. He doesn’t want to engage with the pain, or the guilt that comes with killing, he can’t, because if he does…if he stops and acknowledges that, it could destroy him. It’s not just Laurent who can compartmentalise well.

Laurent sees through this misdirection. He knows that Damen understood what he meant. Killing always comes at a cost.

And if that’s true, then Damen didn’t slaughter Auguste like an animal, but fought him and killed him like a man. Until Laurent’s perspective shifts on that, he can’t love him back.

Maybe also Laurent is the only person who has seen this side of Damen. Who acknowledges his humanity and conscience and addresses that emotional cost with him. Damen has been forced to lock so much of his emotions away and you can see here the start of how Laurent will unlock that side of him, which we will see continue in The Summer Palace.

I just think that emotional uncovering and closeness is so important and it’s why I love their relationship.

#captive prince #meta #lamen #laurent of vere #damen of akielos #damen x laurent #capri #just feeling a bit emotional today I guess

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not responding to my friend?

I (21M) am autistic and have selective mutism. That means in certain situations (like when I’m stressed or worn out) I have difficulties speaking or can’t speak at all. My friend, Lily (27F), knows this. I have told her about it many times and she’s experienced this from me in the past. She knows that I cannot speak sometimes and it’s nothing I can change no matter how much I want to. And she also knows this happens frequently in the mornings.

Lily and I work together at the same store in different departments. Our shifts start around the same time so we usually go on our second and third breaks together but not the first one. The timing of the first one varies too much for me so we usually don’t do that one together. I also am usually exhausted at that time and it’s early in the morning so I have a hard time talking. This is something Lily and I have discussed.

Today I was in the break room for my first break. It’s been a very long a frustrating week and this morning was not going well for me. So I was unable to talk. Lily came into the break room and tried talking to me. It was about some music she likes. I was caught off guard and unable to talk so I tried nodding in response but that wasn’t enough. She got really angry, yelled something along the lines of “I walked all the way back here on an injured ankle just for you not to talk to me”, and then left.

Lily’s ankle has been bothering her for a week or so now. She can walk on it alright but it’s uncomfortable. I understand this. However, I did not ask her to come back there. Usually she wouldn’t come back at that time, otherwise I could have sent a text letting her know in advance I couldn’t talk. I can’t control my selective mutism, if I could I would have chosen to respond to her. I get that it’s frustrating but I feel like I did nothing wrong and she should be more understanding of my issues. But she’s really angry over this so maybe I’m the asshole and don’t realize it.

So AITA for not responding to her?

#aita #am i the asshole

[st4rb3rr13s]

Friday

Your lovely boyfriend Jean can’t fuck you right, so your side Eren decided to teach him.

Idk when the next fic is gonna be done but I realized how long someone has been waiting for this one 😞😞 I’m sorry pooks you know I love you. Snippet

Warning: missionary, oral (m!receiving) (anything else you should def tell me please.)

Jean is your boyfriend. He’s one of the sweetest guys. He’s never treated you with disrespect, given you princess treatment, your mother loves him, and his job is so good. He’s a guy any girl would be running to. Many girls have told how they wished to have your relationship, even Mikasa who you thought hated Jean.

The only thing about Jean is his dick game is wack. Don’t get it twisted, his dick is big and has some length to it. But he just doesn’t know how to use it. You two have been fucking like rabbits since the 6th month of the two of you dating, but it just doesn’t feel that good. He never can make you cum, you always have to rub circles on your clit. You wonder if Jean even knew what a clit was.

But Eren. He could get you cumming with just his thigh if he wanted to. Eren was your ex, well not really. He was in a frat when you two met. Eren was such a sweet talker everyone had told you, and they were right. His words helped you slip your panties off and that night he rearranged your guts. It was a different type of fucking, one you’ve never experienced before. No guy could get you begging for more, but Eren, he was different. You two fucked every Friday until you met Jean.

You love Jean more than anything. You would give Jean the world if you could, and he would do the same. It’s just you also miss the way Eren’s hands could hold your hips, pounding into you with such force. Even just thinking about it makes your legs close. You wanted to make your cake and eat it too, so you did.

After another night of fucking Jean and getting nothing but frustration you called Eren in secret. You made sure to say Jean couldn’t fuck you like he could. Jean just couldn’t make you cum, no matter how hard he tried. That night you even wonder if you should just keep fucking Eren every Friday, so you did.

It was the perfect life for you, really. You got designer bags, your nails always polished, your hair always done, and your outfits gave. You got cuddles with sweet affirmations and woke up to breakfast in bed. All of this done by of course Jean. But at 7:00 on the dot, you were with Eren, making your pussy squirt all over his dick 3 times.

Eren who was waiting for you in his apartment, dick hardened. He wondered where you were, why the hell you haven’t been answering his calls. He’s called you about 6 times now, and nothing. Absolutely nothing. He didn’t realize how needy he was until today. Didn’t realize how your pussy wrapped him up. It was so warm and fucking tight. He had to stop thinking about it, a pool of precum already leaking out. He missed you. He missed thrusting into that pussy. His phone vibrated, quickly opening it.

Armin sent an attachment, this your princess?

What Eren saw pissed him off. He for sure saw you, his girl, shaking her ass all over Jean. He knew the two of you weren’t dating, but it wasn’t fucking fair. It wasn’t fucking fair Jean had you all the fucking time. He didn’t even know how to fuck you right, fuck did he even know what a clit was? Eren took a deep breath, knowing his temper. Next time he saw you he was going to make sure you pay. Make sure he fucked you so good you couldn’t even remember Jean. Couldn’t even talk, babbling nonsense.

He groaned, his eyes closing. His dick is so hard it hurts. Maybe he should just use his hands, jacking himself off. That’s better than being frustrated. No, why the fuck does he have to wait for you to be done with Jean? He wants you, no need for you now.

Which brings you to now, body under Jean’s as he fucks you. Or move his body into your pussy. You knew how this would end, being sexually frustrated. This Friday you went on a surprise date with Jean. He brought you to a high end restaurant, lavious even. Jean took you to a club, wanting to dance with you. You made sure to shake your ass all over him, knowing he deserved it. For treating you like a queen. You were having so much fun you totally forgot about Eren.

“Fuck, gonna cum baby.” Jean muttered.

You hummed, acting like you were gonna cum. Your eyes closed, tilting your head back. Just for a little, then he’ll get off of you and you could call Eren. Just need to wait a little. A banging hit Jean’s door. The two of you jumped, looking at the door. Who could be coming this late? You just needed to wait a couple seconds, but now you’ll probably have to wait 10 more minutes.

“Kirstein, open the door.” Eren spoke. Eren? What was he doing here? You watched as Jean put his sweatpants on. Jean went to open the door, trying to hide you.

“Dude, what? I’m busy.” Jean scoffed.

Eren moved his head, seeing you. Your hands pulled the blanket up, so he couldn’t see your body. Like he hasn’t seen you naked more than a hundred times. But you notice something, he looks different. His eyes are glaring daggers into you. You’ve never seen him look so angered by something. You don’t know why, but fuck did it turn you on.

“Nothing, is your girl over?” Eren asked, knowing the question already.

“Why is that any of your concern?” Jean asked back. Eren pushed Jean out of the way. You gasped. Eren was always the stubborn type, not listening to anyone but this stubborn?

“I need to teach her a little lesson.” Eren answered.

“The fuck does that mean?” Jean yelled. Eren didn’t answer just walking closer to you. Your face looked at him in question. What does he mean by lesson? His hands pulled down his boxers and sweatpants, showing his hard dick leaking precum. “Eren, what the fuck?”

“Suck it.” Eren told you. Your eyes widened.

“What.” You stammered. You act like you haven’t sucked his dick a million times anyway.

“You heard me, suck my dick.” Eren snapped. You looked to see Jean’s eyes widened, mostly with disbelief. But there’s also some amusement.

“I’m Jean’s girlfriend, not yours. If you want to be a pervert, do it with some other guy’s.” Before you could rant on, you were cut off with Eren’s dick. His hand moved your mouth up and down his length, your spit already making a mess on his cock. He didn’t know which was better, your pussy or mouth, both were so warm and tight. His eyes shut, as he breathed slowly.

“Fuck, Jean you see how slutty your girlfriend can be? Sucking another man’s dick, fuck. Something she does every Friday, maybe you should use this pretty mouth sometime. Fuck gag on it baby, just like that.” Eren explained, pushing your head to his torso. Your throat gagged and choked on his thick cock. You could tell he was mad, his hips thrusted into your mouth like it was your pussy. Not even, more like his personal flesh light. Eren’s dick was too big and too long to be doing all that. He knew it, you knew it, fuck even Jean knew it. Jean watched as Eren plowed into your mouth. He couldn’t believe his girlfriend he’s treated with love and respect was getting fucked by Eren. One of his closest friends. Two people he would give the world up for, betrayed him in the worse way. “Jean are you just gonna stand there or are you going to fuck her from behind?”

“What?” Jean muttered.

“You didn’t think I’d have all the fun, right? I’ll teach you how to fuck her, just put it in alright?” Eren muttered. You choked, hearing his statement. You thought his rough head was your punishment, there’s more? His dick was already suffocating you, you didn’t know how you’d feel with a dick inside you. But for some reason your pussy got all wet, not like when you normally fuck Jean. It was almost leaking, leaving a stain on his sheets. For the first time since the first experience you two had, you wanted Jean’s dick so bad inside you.

Jean took off his sweatpants, being wary about this. Eren watched as Jean slowly put it in. Eren’s hand forced your mouth to take all of him, making you stop your movements. Your eyes closed, tears starting to fall. It was suffocating, your breath was taken away. It was too thick to even breathe. His dick was stuffed inside your throat, making it impossible to breath. This turned you on even more, wanting to touch yourself so bad.

“You wanna put your hands on her waist, before thrusting into her. Make sure to hit her g-spot, you’ll know when she’s moaning around my dick like a fucking slut. She likes it a little rough, don’t go too soft on her like I heard you be doing. The rougher you’ll go the faster she’ll cum. And Jean, don’t cum before her. It’ll ruin all the begging she’ll do.” Eren explained.

“No, she hums when she cums.” Jean told him. Eren laughed, before pulling you off of his dick. You coughed, finally being able to breath air. You felt like he was keeping you there forever, when it was only about 20 seconds, and that’s pushing it. Your lungs try to consume as much oxygen as you could.

“Baby, tell us, do you hum when you cum or scream?” Eren asked. Your eyes glared at Eren. “Slap this slut’s ass.”

“What? Eren, I don’t know what kinky shit you do with your sluts, but my princess isn’t a slut.” Jean barked. Eren’s hand slapped your ass, making you gasp. “Eren.”

“She liked it, didn’t you see the way her back arched?” Eren asked. Jean looked to see your back was arched to the fullest, ass all out. “Go ahead, she likes it because she’s a fucking slut. Now answering the fucking question.”

“I scream, fuck I’m sorry, Eren.” You answered. Eren’s eyebrow went up. You weren’t calling him that, not in front of Jean. He’d have to pull it out of you. His hand landed on your ass, making you moan out. Multiple slaps hit your ass. “Fuck!”

“Fuck.” Jean muttered. He watched as your ass cheek quickly turned into a bright red, a hand print right in the middle. Eren’s hand slapped your ass harder, drawing out a loud moan.

“I’m sorry sir! Sir please, fuck me, I’m so horny for you!” You begged. You never thought your back would arch as hard as it did and beg while Jean’s dick was inside you, but you're always open for anything. Hopefully this change was a permanent change.

Jean whimpered, his cheeks and ears red. He felt so fucking hard, he needed to move. But if Eren didn’t tell him to, he wouldn't. Jean wondered if you enjoyed this. What if you didn’t like the threesome these two were doing? You had a right to say something. Your pussy twitched around Jean, his dick getting even wetter. Nah, you were loving this.

“Jean, you can move now.” Eren encouraged. Jean started to thrust into you, moaning a little. You hummed looking at the cover. Just the same.?Your head was suddenly picked up, your mouth going onto Eren’s dick. “Jean, your stroke game is so fucking bad. Fuck her like you mean it.”

“How? I swear I am.” Jean whined.

“Hold her hips, and drill into it for fuck sakes! You look so fucking pathetic right now.” Eren scoffed, starting to move your mouth.

You felt a pair of cold hands hold onto your hips before you felt a euphoric sensation only Eren gave you. But it was Jean. You felt like your breath was taken, feeling your pussy get pounded into. Your eyes closed as you felt Jean finally hit your g-spot multiple times. It wasn’t as good as Eren, but it was so much better than how it used to be. Your ass moved back, trying to gather more friction for him.

You tried to take a breath but remembered a dick was fully into your mouth. You whined around his length, looking up at him. Your makeup was all ruined, lipstick all over Eren’s dick. His eyes fell into yours, seeing the way your salty tears fell onto your tits. He needed to cum on your tits, you didn’t deserve his cum.

“Now play with her clit, Jean.” Eren sighed.

“What’s that?” Jean asked. You both rolled your eyes. Eren’s other hand fell under you, rubbing fast circles on your clit. You moan around his cock, spit starting to pool around his dick. You felt a wave of euphoria coming. “Fuck I’m gonna cum. You think she’s gonna cum soon?”

“Yeah, just cum, Jean.” Eren groaned. With the way he’s so focused, you could tell he was about to cum as well. You started to play with his balls, wanting him to cum. Eren’s fun was so thick and white while Jean’s cum was more smooth and clear. Cum was about to be everywhere, and that turned you even more on. Jean’s dick kept hitting your g-spot, making you see stars. You were close, your breath started to quicken as you moaned all around his dick. Eren took you off of his dick, jacking himself off. “Jean, cum already.”

“Fuck!” Jean yelled, stopping his movements. You looked to see Eren’s hands coming off of you, his cum squirting all over your tits and face. Thick ropes fall all over your body, while a warm substance fills you up. You sigh as Jean’s cum filled you, making you shudder. Jean pulled out of you slowly, taking a deep breath. “Did. Did she cum?”

“Fuck no, that’s her lesson.” Eren scoffed, pulling up his boxers and sweatpants. Your eyes widened. That was your lesson? “And you better not cum until next Friday. Making me fucking wait.”

@s3lfinvolvedh3athen

#eren jaeger #eren x reader #eren yeager #aot x black reader #eren aot #aot x reader #snk x black reader #aot eren #eren x black reader #aot x black y/n #aot jean #jean kirstein #jean x you #jean x reader #jean x black reader #jean x black yn #aot smut #jean aot #eren x black y/n #eren x y/n #jean x y/n #eren x reader x jean #eren smut #jean smut #snk fanfiction #aot fanfiction #eren fanfiction #jean fanfiction #st4rb3rr13s approved #st4rb3rr13s

[oletus-writer]

Pinhead NSFW Alphabet

Warnings: nsfw, heavy bdsm themes

Authors note: this got deleted once, and I’m really tired, so it may be bad. sorry about that

A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex)

Mortal, what is that? Why is that required? Many of those the cenobite has tortured did not require nor ask for aftercare, to be pampered after experiencing such pain and pleasure. The most you’ll get from them would be them taking care of your wounds and getting you a drink. Perhaps with time they’ll get better at it.

B = Body part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

They like your entire body, how it can fit so much pleasure on every inch of it, how they can rake knives through your back and run their cold tongue against your chest, the pins in their head running grooves into your skin. They do not understand the concept of vanity, and do not have a favourite part of themselves, but they do like how their hands are able to inflict such feelings…

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Their cum is a bit sticky and strange-tasting, a bit bitter. Today I found out about slugging in a sexual way, and, though they are rather open with regards to paraphilias, I don’t believe they see the pleasure in slugging.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

There’s not many secrets that Pinhead keeps, in regards to sex, but they will keep in mind what your boundaries are, and will not mention the kinks they think you won’t like.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)

If you’re talking about experience in regards to inflicting pain, then yes, they are rather experienced, but when it comes to sex? They don’t remember the last time they thought of having sex.

F = Favourite position (this goes without saying)

I doubt suspension sex counts as a sex position, but regardless, it’s their favourite way to subject you to the ideas in their mind. However, if you want vanilla sex, missionary works just fine.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

There are no jokes in Pinhead’s bedroom, as you may need to explain the jokes to them, which would ruin the mood.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes?)

There is no hair to see whether or not the carpet matches the drapes, but their pubic hair is black, slightly thinner, and not groomed at all. Naturally, they don’t mind if you trim yours, as they do not understand why mortals are so hung up about it.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? are they romantic?)

If you count intimacy as stroking your face while crying from pain, then sure, there’s a bit of intimacy, but there’s no kisses, no words of comfort, no candles (unless they want to burn you).

J = Jack off (masturbation headcannon)

As I’ve said before, they’re not too focused on sex, and would rather take out their frustrations by torturing people. They don’t masturbate often, unless it’s to snuff films.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

It would be easier to list the things they won’t do, which is not much, but if you want to see some of the stuff they might be into, so here’s a wikipedia link to a list of paraphilias.

L = Location (favourite places to have sex)

Whatever realm of hell they can send you to that is private and gives them free rein of their powers is a good location to have sex. They’re also not opposed to fucking you in the mortal realm, but they feel a bit more comfortable in hell.

M = Motivation (what turns them on?)

There’s not much you could do to turn them on, outside of torture, and their libido is less of a libido and more of a carnal desire to injure someone until every inch of their skin has been occupied with wounds. At first, flashy and revealing clothing may not do much for them, but if you introduce the concept of dressing up during sex, then they may get horny when they see you wearing such outfits. (Pavlov’s dog them)

N = No (what turns them off?)

It is rather hard to say that something turns them off, as they are very open minded when it comes to kinks and fetishes, to the point where it becomes a flaw. Don’t intraduce them to things that you yourself don’t want to try, as they’d definitely want to see what it’s all about. Why do mortals aroused by sunlight (actirasty)? Why do they like trees in a sexual way (dendrophilia)? Assisting people with automobiles particularly those stuck in the mud, snow, etc (pedal pumping)?? (I could go on) How creative your species are.

O = Oral (do they prefer giving or receiving? how skilled are they?)

Unless you really like pain, it is I’ll advised to have Pinhead give you oral, and for that exact reason, they are not too skilled at it. When it comes to this, they would be rather awkward, and it may take a while for them to get the hang of it.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual?)

They are ruthless when it comes to inflicting pain, only pausing a few times to admire their work, or for you to savour the feelings of pleasure and pain. In regards to penetrative sex, they set a fast pace, as they would not like to be bored during sex.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies)

It seems to be a waste of time, as they are unable to show the full extent of the ideas they have planned, and it is more likely that quickies with them becomes full-blown sessions.

R = Risk (are they experimental? do they take risks?)

As stated before, they are willing to do about anything, regardless of whether or not they understand why you mortals enjoy such thing.

S = Stamina (how long do they last?)

They are a cenobite, and therefore does not have any concept of fatigue, but that doesn’t mean they want to last forever. After ten rounds or so, they’d start to get bored of it, but most likely, you won’t last that long to see them decide they’ve had enough.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them?)

If you count the strange contraptions they are able to summon as toys, then yes, they do own quite a few, which are often put to use. However, they have not known of the more common sex toys, such as vibrators, and, once introduced to them, may use them occasionally, although perhaps not in places where they were made to be used.

U = Unfair (how much do they like to tease?)

They don’t like teasing too much, as they would rather get to the meat of it, but will edge you and deny orgasms in the name of pleasure and pain. Pinhead themselves does not particularly enjoy being tortured, but things such as whipping, cutting, and breaking bones are not completely off the table.

V = Volume (how loud are they?)

Unless you top them, they’re going to be quiet. Even if you do take the role of dominant, there’s going to be a few grunts and heavy breathing, unless you do something game changing. Then they’re going to release a suppressed moan, and tilt their head away in embarrassment.

W = Wild card (a random headcannon for the character)

If you ever tell them about the kink forniphilia, or turning humans into furniture, they thought you meant skinning them, tanning them, and all the other processes that turns them into leather, which is then used for, say, a chair.

X = X-ray (let's see what's going on under those clothes)

Pinhead was originally played by a man, and, according to Hellbound: Hellraiser II, was originally a man before they became a cenobite, so they do indeed have a penis. It is of average length, around 5.8 inches (14.7 cm) and a bit thinner than average.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

If by sex drive you mean the desire to experience new forms of pleasure and pain, then yes, they have a high sex drive. In terms of applying that to sex, they did not know of the concept of bdsm before, but after finding out about it, they were eager to partake in it.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Cenobites don’t fall asleep, so don’t expect to see them with their guard lowered, looking so peaceful in their sleep. The closest you’ll get is when they close their eyes for a while, a wave of bliss on their face as they’re imagining torture.

#pinhead #hellraiser #pinhead x reader #dbd x reader #dead by daylight x reader #dead by daylight #dbd pinhead #dbd pinhead x reader

[unactive-shroom]

Hello im really sorry i only saw your post today🙁 you can ignore this since its already nov 4th but can i request sal fisher with prompt 1 and 3? (Maybe 6 but thats optional) thank you!

A.n: Im sorry I missed out on this request last event, so I thought I’d do something small for you now to get in the Valentine’s mood <3 Hope you enjoy! Feel free to request something from the current event too, I know that this is super short!

⇒ 100% had been preparing for Valentine’s since CHRISTMAS

⇒ He’s never experienced it before, and he wants to make sure he does everything right

⇒ He's stressing out, asking Larry and Todd about what he should do, reading romance novels, even magazines with advice

⇒ Like he is genuinely so nervous, doesn’t matter how long you’ve been dating for

⇒ He also learns your favourite song and plays it for you, borrowing his Dad's old acoustic guitar if it's a softer song

⇒ He genuinely has the sweetest singing voice too like wtf

⇒ He gets you a very traditional gift - A bouquet of your favourite flowers and a hand written card with the sweetest message ever in it - and after school you probably go over to his place

Placing the heart-shaped cookies that you had baked for Sal on the kitchen counter, you bounced over to the couch where Sal was busy trying to connect VCR player to the tv. “Wow, Sal, you’re really going all out for today, huh?” you say as you relax on the couch, opening one of the many bags of chips that Sal had prepared on the coffee table. “I’m not over doing it, am I? I just want today to be perfect for you, I don’t know if-” - you shush him before he can finish his thought. “It’s perfect, Sal. I couldn’t ask for more.”

Check out the Valentine's event Here

#~Eden's Valentine's Event #sally face x reader #sal fisher x reader

[myseungsunglove]

I Don’t Know How to Feel | Lmh

Pairing: Lee Know x reader

Warnings: angst wrapped in a smidge of fluff

Word Count: 960

𖠫Summary:

✎A/N✎: not really edited. I wrote this in a sleepy haze after watching a video of Lee Know visibly flustered during an English interview. It made me want to comfort him and just be there for him so my first Lee Know Drabble was born. Hopefully it brings comfort to someone out there in tumblr/stayville

◠ ◡ ◠᭚ιαᵕ̈

「© September 16, 2023 by mysweethannie」

You were always sat right next to Lee Know in English interviews. Typically Chan was on one side and you on the other. Chan always tried to bring Lee Know into the interview and you were the silent comfort.

English interviews were increasingly frustrating for Lee Know. He understood a majority of what was being said, but rarely had the words to express himself in the language. Some days and some interviews were better than others.

One hard day in particular, after you had already sat through four interviews, you had returned from a much too short break for your fifth and final interview of the day. It was one of those rapid fire interviews, so those with a better grasp on the English language were interacting at a much higher rate than those without. In fact, despite the long day Chan, Felix, Han, and Seungmin in particular were laughing and joyful the entire interview.

About halfway through, you noticed Lee know look to his left at staff and glance briefly at you. When his eyes met yours, his cool collected composure dropped briefly. He was determined to look into the camera and look as engaged as possible. He didn’t want to let STAYS down. You placed a comforting hand on top of his that was resting on his thigh and again, his face fell slightly and as he looked up trying to compose himself, you noticed the gleam of tears in his eyes. It absolutely shattered your heart. Once you noticed the emotion on his face, he let out a huff of air as you carefully forced his hand to turn and his fingers to interlock with yours.

His eyes darted to the right, glancing at the other members, but when he squeezed your hand and didn’t let up, you knew he wanted the hell out of there and fast. You knew how frustrating it was to sit through those interviews and feel powerless to communicate. That had been you when you were first learning Korean and you had spent many days, weeks, and months in tears as a result. So your heart hurt for Lee know in that moment because you knew exactly the torrent of emotions he was experiencing.

As soon as the interview concluded, you grabbed Lee Knows hand once more, and pulled him out of the seat and immediately to the dressing room. Once there, you softly closed the door, and spun quickly on your feet to look at him, dropping his hand. He had a blank, confused look on his face as he stared into your eyes, unspeaking.

You reached out and placed his face between your hands and this fractured his resolve, his face falling once more. This time he didn’t hurry to plaster a fake smile on his face.

“It’s okay,” you whispered, your eyes searching his as you spoke softly to him in Korean. “I know today was hard,” you added, your fingers dancing along the nape of his neck, your thumbs running soothingly on his now rosy cheeks.

He couldn’t hold it back anymore and the tears fell. He choked out a sob he had been holding back all day. You pulled him close to you in a tight hug, and he melted into your embrace, the tears falling harder still at your comfort.

“Why does learning to speak English have to be so damn hard?” he questioned against your neck, as his tears landed wet and tacky on your neck.

“Learning a language is absolutely exhausting. Especially when it’s so different from your native language,” you agreed. “You remember how much I cried when I first came here?” you asked.

He chuckled sympathetically. “If it felt anything like this, I’m so sorry,” he mumbled against your warm skin.

“Every damn day,” you affirmed.

You hated seeing him like this.

He pulled away from your embrace then, his hands leaving their place wrapped around your waist and landing on your face.

“I’m sorry you felt anything like this ever,” he said, his eyes darting back and forth between yours.

He closed the gap between you, his lips finding yours in a somewhat urgent kiss as if he was trying to apologize for something he didn’t owe an apology for.

“Lee know, you’re what made it easier. Without you, I probably would have left after a week or two,” you admitted, pulling away from his kiss with a sigh. “I can help you if you really want to learn more. You know I’d do absolutely anything for you,” you remind him.

A playful grin spread across his face.

“Anything?” he asked, and you see your Lee Know slowly returning to you, the confidence that had been shattered gradually throughout the day, finding its way back into his demeanor.

You chuckled at him and pushed him away by his shoulders.

“Idiot,” you teased and he caught your wrist before you could push him far enough and pulled you back into a tight embrace.

“Thank you,” he breathed a heavy sigh against your neck. “I mean it.”

“Of course, babe. I’ll always be right by your side,” you told him, kissing him slowly once more.

Lee know always felt safe to feel his feelings with you and for that, you were eternally grateful. You were able to help him in a way he wouldn’t let anyone else and that strengthened the bond between you in a way you couldn’t explain if you tried.

You just knew you loved Lee Know and you would move heaven and earth to keep him from shattering like he did today ever again.

#stray kids #stray kids x reader #Lee Know x Reader #Lee Know Drabble #Lee Know one shot #Lee know fic #lee know fanfiction #Lee Know angst

[forever-rogue]

I haven't seen it yet but I've thought about it some times: Eddie (with plus size reader, bc I'm a big girl and I'd really just love to picture myself with him more clearly) where reader tells him she's pregnant (after they're both finished with HS some time), Eddie being a super supportive boyfriend during the pregnancy, all excited, even reads magazines and articles and books about it all and just being super happy and crying when the baby is born 🥺 and always so supportive and reassuring when reader has intense body image issues especially after giving birth. I would LOVE it if you're willing to write something like that 💛

He seems to be such a big softie and I imagine that he'd be an amazing father. Teaching his kids to play the guitar or literally any instrument, jamming out with them playfully to Metallica, draping his Dio vest around them and all that. Ugh. My heart. 😭🥺 sure he'd be scared to become like his own father but deep down we all know that will never happen and reader would always reassure him that he's doing a splendid job at being a dad 💛

AN | We have some baby daddy Eddie because…he’s the best and why not. Maybe, if y’all want we can do more dad Eddie 🥰

Warnings | None

Pairing | Eddie x Fem!Reader

Word Count | 2.5k

Masterlist | Main, Eddie

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You weren’t stupid. 

You were a lot of things, but stupid wasn’t one of them. So when you started throwing up in the mornings, starting feeling nauseous, and experienced way too many emotions all at once, you knew something was up. That and the fact that your period was late….for the second month in a row. The first month you were willing to chalk up to stress; you were months away from finishing college and the reality that life was going to change again was enough to make you worry. But two months was worrisome. It hadn’t happened before. Shit. 

It was the early ‘90s and while science had come a long way, part of you still didn’t want to believe the results on the little plastic stick in your hand. Maybe it was a false positive…but no. That combined with everything told you that it definitely wasn’t false. 

“Shit,” you tossed the small plastic stick into the sink with a groan. You studied your reflection and shook your head at your teary eyed mirror self. Well. At least you had beaten teen pregnancy, although not by much. And at least you were almost finished with college - you wouldn’t be super far along by the time you were. And then you could have your baby and eventually find a job and then it would - stop. You were getting way too ahead of yourself. You didn’t even positively know you were pregnant. Not until you went to the doctor. And then there were still other options. 

Fuck.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Hey space cadet,” Eddie laughed lightly as he waved his hand in front of your face, “you with me?”

“Huh?” you blinked a few times to get rid of the bleariness from your eyes before turning your attention to him. You were sitting on the couch, watching a movie after dinner. Well, he was watching, and you were panicking. But Eddie knew something was up; you weren’t curled into his side as you normally would be. You were on the other side and hunched into yourself with a blanket expression on your face, “y-yeah. ‘s all fine, love.”

“What’s wrong?” he wasn’t buying it in the slightest, “babe.”

“Nothing.”

“You can tell me anything, you know that.”

“I’m fine.”

“Why are you lying to me?”

“It’s not-”

“You are too!”

“I’m pregnant,” those two little words, ones with enormous weight behind them, spilled from your lips before you could think about it. Eddie recoiled from how he’d been leaning towards you, his eyes narrowing in confusion, “I-I think. I, umm…I took a test today and it was positive.”

“Pregnant,” he repeated as you slowly nodded, eyes welling up with fresh tears, “wow.”

“Eddie, I’m so sorry,” it was instinctive to deflect and apologize, despite the fact that you weren’t at fault, “I didn’t mean to…the condom must have broken or something.”

“Angel, why are you apologizing?”

“B-because?” he reached over and gently brushed away the tears that had fallen from your eyes, “I’m the one that’s pregnant. It’s my fault.”

“Absolutely not,” he took your chin in his and turned your face to his, “last time I checked it takes two for you to get pregnant. So, you know, that’s at least half my fault, but nobody’s at fault. It’s alright, sweetheart. We’ll figure it out.”

“Eddie,” you pulled his hand and huffed, “this is a baby we’re talking about, not just a decision like what we want for dinner or what concert we’re going to next. This is a huge thing. Like…whatever we do will change our lives forever.”

“I know,” he put his hands on your thighs and urged you closer to his warm frame. You hesitated for a moment before relaxing and shuffling over so he could pull you into his lap. A singular look into his big, soft brown eyes had you crying you again, tears running down your cheeks as you tried to stifle your cries. Eddie made a small sound before he wrapped his arms tightly around you as you buried your face into his chest, “I know, babe. Let it all out, it’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”

“How?” it was a muffled whimper against his neck.

“Because we’ve got each other,” a kiss was pressed to the side of your head, “and whatever you want to do, you’ll always have my full support. But look at this way - you’re just about done with school and I know you, my smart girl, will make it happen no matter what. I’ve got a decent job and with that and gigs we’re okay on money. We have our own place and we can turn the extra office and practice room into a nursery.”

“Eddie,” you turned and looked at him with a small, teary smile, “why do you always know what to say?”

“‘Cause I’m your boyfriend, duh,” he pressed a kiss to your lips, not minding the salty taste of your tears, “and I love you. Always.”

“What if I…what if I want to have an abortion?” you asked and his expression didn’t falter.

“Then that’s what you’ll do,” he stated simply, “it’s your body, your choice. I’ll be with you no matter what. And if you decide we want to wait to have little nuggets until way later that’s cool too.”

“Stop being so wonderful,” he took your face tenderly in his face before resting his forehead against yours. You knew - you’d always known - that he was the only man that you could ever imagine loving so fully and deeply, “I love you, Eddie.”

“I love you,” it was a soft whisper, barely audible but it still warmed your whole body, “we’ll figure this out, I swear.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Quit staring weirdo,” you hadn’t even checked to see if he was looking, but you could feel his intense stare on you regardless. You turned out of the closet and found him leaning against the doorframe, a cheeky smile on his face, arms crossed over his chest, “Eds.”

“Can’t help it,” he grinned, “you’re so beautiful.”

“Ugh,” you teasingly groaned, “such a sap. I don’t feel so beautiful right now…more like a giant beach ball.”

It was about halfway through your pregnancy and you were definitely feeling very pregnant these days. You’d started to show but it was like overnight you had grown a much larger bump which caused you to spiral. Suddenly it all seemed so overwhelming; you were going to have a small human to take care of, you still needed to finish the nursery, and you hadn’t even thought about getting a job after having the baby and none of your pants fit right and it was everything all at once. But all your worries and fears had subsided as soon as Eddie had wrapped you up in his arms and promised that everything would work out. 

“Well, you are a beautiful beach ball,” he snorted in amusement as you glowered at him. He held up his hands in mock surrender before coming over to and pressing a kiss to your cheek, “I’m kidding, babe. You’re even more beautiful than the day we met, and now you’re growing our kid? That’s pretty fucking metal and makes you that much more beautiful.”

“This kid’s already got you wrapped around their little finger, don’t they?” he grinned and took your hand, giving it a gentle squeeze before bringing it to his lips to press a kiss to your knuckles.

“Yeah,” he confirmed, “and their mom does too. Babe, did you know that the baby’s like the size of an ear of corn now?”

“Corn?” you grinned and he nodded eagerly, his curls bouncing roguishly, “that’s interesting. Let’s hope it comes out as a human and not a vegetable…or fruit. How did you know that?”

“You’re the one doing the hard work so I figured I gotta pull my pre-dad weight and do the behind the scenes stuff!” oh. You were absolutely and wholly in love with this man. Tears welled up in your eyes and pearled down your cheeks, causing you to sniffle, "oh no, sweetheart. I-I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you cry. Was it something I said? Did?"

“N-no,” you shook your head and clung onto him tighter, “I mean yes…but no. ‘m just all sorts of emotional these days. You are just so…wonderful. I love you so much.”

“Oh,” his cheeks flushed a pretty pastel pink as you peppered kisses all over his face, “I love you. I just…I want to support you every way I can, you know? You’re the one doing the hardest work of all and I feel like I’m here doing nothing.”

“You’re so wrong, Eddie Munson,” you took his face in your hands and looked at him with the softest look on your face, “you’ve been so good to me this whole time; you’ve been there for me through everything. You’ve taken care of me and looked up and done so many things to make this whole pregnancy better. I don’t think I could have survived it without you. You’re going to be a great dad, Eds. You already are.”

“I’m going to try,” he promised, “I’m going to give this baby everything I never had. I want them to have all the love in the world. You and the baby.”

“I already do,” it was a soft promise that caused his heart to feel like it was full to bursting, “and so do they. You know, if I had to choose anyone in the world to be my baby daddy, I’m glad it turned out to be you.”

“Baby daddy?” dark brows rose in amusement and almost disappeared into his hairline. 

“Yeah,” you answered simply as you turned back to the closet in a desperate attempt to find something decent and comfortable to wear, “we’re not married so you’re my baby daddy.”

“Not married yet.”

“Oh? You gonna marry me, Munson?”

“Duh, baby,” his smile was so large that it seemed magical, “I’ve been planning that since the day I met you.”

“You’re a real romantic, you know that?”

‘Only for you,” he wrapped his arms around you from behind, resting a hand on your belly, “and for the nugget.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You had been right of course. Eddie had been smitten with your son from the moment he was born and he’d first held him in his arms. 

Jamie ended up being a little mini-me version of his father with those same big brown doe eyes and unruly brown curls. There was no denying that it was his son; not that he would ever want that. He was obsessed with his son, just as he was with you. The best things to ever happen he often claimed. You felt the same, naturally. 

And with every passing day, he proved just how wonderful of a father he was. The best of course, just like you knew he would be. And he'd helped you through so many issues, including all the bad thoughts you let seep in about your body during and after your pregnancy. He was patient and kind, and made you feel so incredibly beautiful and loved. Which you were, of course.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Where are my boys?” It had been a long day of work for you and there had been nothing you wanted more than to come home and pile up with the two of them and get all of the cuddles. You set your bag down but heard no response. Just before you could call out to them again, you heard a hushed voice and some soft music coming from down the hallway. You followed the sounds and peeked through the open door to Jamie’s room. Not surprisingly you found the two of them together, Eddie with his guitar in his hand and his clone sitting across from him, draped in Eddie’s entirely too big jean jacket. You pushed the door open gently to keep from startling either of them, “there you are, my loves!”

“Mommy,” your son was up and padded over to you as best as he could before wrapping his little arms around your legs. You instantly softened and leaned and gently ruffle through his dark mop of curls, “missed you.”

“I missed you too,” Eddie was practically beaming from his spot on the floor, setting aside his guitar to come over to you. He leaned over and placed a gentle kiss to your lips, sighed softly when he saw how sweetly you were looking at him.

“I missed both of my boys so very much.”

“Up,” the little one turned to you and extended his little arms up to you with an eager expression on his face, “mommy!”

“Sorry bud,” before he could protest, Eddie had scooped him up in his arms and settled him on his hip. Jamie pouted, a trait that was so reminiscent of his father, and looked between the two of you, “mommy can’t pick you up right now, you’re too big.”

“But you pick me up,” he protested with a little huff, “I want mommy.”

“Mommy can’t pick you up because she’s growing your sister,” Eddie explained softly, as he had on several other occasions. You weren’t sure if he just didn’t understand the concept of you being pregnant and him getting a little sister or if he willfully chose to ignore that little fact, “and I’m not so you’re stuck with daddy for now.”

“Okay,” he leaned his head on Eddie’s shoulder as you chuckled in amusement, “I love you, daddy.”

“I love you too bud,” he promised, “you getting tired?”

“‘m not,” a weak little protest.

“How about a nap before dinner?” you suggested softly, “and then after dinner we can watch a movie?”

“Fine,” a dramatic sigh escaped his lips. This was undoubtedly Eddie Munson’s son, “can we please have chicken nuggies for dinner?”

“I think we can make that happen baby,” you promised, motioning for Eddie to put him in his bed. He was so tender as he tucked the young boy in, smoothing over his hair before kissing his forehead. 

“I’ll see you in a little while bud,” he turned to you and kissed you before gently rubbing your still small bump, “let me know if you need any help.”

“I’ve got him,” you grinned, “I’ll be out in a few and if it’s longer than that, I fell asleep and need you to come and rescue me.”

“I can do that, princess.”

“Daddy?”

“Yeah, bud?”

“You’re the most metal ever!”

“Yeah?” he asked as Jamie nodded eagerly, “so are you, kid.”

You exchanged a look with Eddie and his whole face was lit up, and he felt like he was going to melt into a puddle with all the love he held for the two of you. Three, he reminded himself, soon to be a family of four, “I think you’re pretty metal too, babe.”

“We make a pretty metal family!”

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x you #joseph quinn #joseph quinn x reader #joseph quinn x you

[slavghoul]

There’s an interview with Martin in the new issue of Sweden Rock Magazine and he talks a bit about Ghost. I know some of you still miss the good ole Omega days and wonder what the hell happened in 2016 or whether he and TF are on speaking terms at all, so I translated the few parts where he talks about his time in the band..

--

There have been countless rumours about the reasons for your departure from Ghost, everything from mental illness to alcohol. I want to give you a chance to sort out what happened when you left.

MP: I don't know if I need the chance. Well, I have severe fucking ADHD, I was diagnosed the other year. And I've been taking anti-depressants for 16 years, I quit three months ago. So yeah, mental ups and downs have been plenty. No more alcohol problems than the average construction worker. It's invasive and so fucking unnecessary to delve too much into it, but in short: after six-seven years of intense fucking work, you get tired of each other in a way that might be unimaginable to someone who hasn't experienced that kind of relationship. It wasn’t just Tobias, it was everyone towards each other. You sit on a tour bus and you don't feel like it's a holiday or a fun thing, but such is life. I see it as a marriage. Ask anybody, let a mate move into your living room and live together in the same room for two years. A lot happens to your personalities and even though we were anonymous, you got a boost of some feigned self-esteem that some of us never had. It was turbulent, but also really fun and beautiful to do those things with that gang. There was nothing dramatic happening, no one doing more drugs than anyone else. Me and Tobbe both thought and think good things about each other. I can say the same about Simon or keyboardist Mauro Rubino or drummer Aksel Holmgren or bassist Rikard Ottoson or guitarist Henrik Palm or whoever. But people don’t need to know everything. It's as bizarre as me talking about my ex to the newspaper. Maybe if I lived in Hollywood, but now I live in Linköping, haha.

Do you have contact with Tobias today? Will you ever reconcile?

MP: Strictly business. I definitely think so. Sometimes you just have to have some time apart. I see no reason why we shouldn't, I see it that way with all the guys involved. It's a bit like having broken up with a girlfriend. It can be hard to see her with a new guy and you have to look after yourself. I've never felt the need to pour this out to people, I think it just does more damage. I understand that people want to know, but it's funny. People buy that it's anonymous for however long and then they want to know the most intimate stuff.

You have an Omega tattoo, your symbol in Ghost. Is it a painful reminder or do you mostly look back on that time as something positive?

MP: I have it on my shoulder, it sits where it sits. The Omega thing has nothing to do with Ghost for me. We had five symbols to distinguish the costumes and I had one stuck to one of my guitars. As we didn't have names, people started calling me that. When I think back on my time with the band, it's many years of great stuff. Being on tour isn't a great thing if you're unwell or homesick, but overall it was fantastic. We had so much fun, it was great and new for everyone and we learned stuff every day. We took it seriously, were smart and strategic and didn't party the whole thing up. If we had been 20 years old, it wouldn't have worked. For me, it's a great, important period.

How different would Ghost's first three albums have been without you?

MP: I'm not going to trample on myself, but I'm not going to put myself on some fantasy pedestal either. The band, the idea and the concept was started by Tobias and bassist Gustaf Lindström. That's it. Five guys don't wake up the same day and have the same idea. He's the main visionary, no question about it. He started Ghost and has written Opus Eponymous more or less alone. But for the next album, we had formed a band around it. It was still his band, everybody understood that he's the boss, but the musicians became more or less contributors. I came up with song ideas, ideas of what we should look like, album covers, concepts. And Tobbe was damn clever. He understood that if something was good, it didn't matter who did the shit. But there was no one with the mandate to take his place. lnfestissumam would have been a little different, but not that different. Some people say that when the old members left, the band died. That's not true. I think the musicians have played a big role live, but in the song-writing I don't think so. It's really hard to say what impact someone has had, but if you've been there, you've been there. On Impera, Hux Nettermalm plays drums and I hear it's not Ludvig Kennberg who plays on Opus Eponymus, Meliora and Prequelle. Aksel has his style and Martin Hjertstedt who played drums live also has a great style. Other than that, there are not so big differences.

The first time I heard that Magna Carta Cartel and Ghost shared members, I thought that the bands had the same singer.

MP: I've heard that plenty of times. In MCC it has been me or Simon singing. Neither Tobbe nor I, especially I, are trained singers. I won't compare us too much, because he's probably done over a thousand live shows by now. But we're from the same town, have the same accent... I can't sing any other way, I can't really sing at all. My voice here is just another instrument. If I'd done it again from the beginning, we'd probably have a different singer. I know people want to imagine it’s Tobias singing in MCC. They can stand in the room when we play and think it's him. People have been talking about the lyrics of "Sway" being about Ghost, but it was written in 2004 and is about a girl I had a crush on. But it doesn't matter how many times you present the facts, people still think things - and it's both amazing and terrifying.

#martin persner #omega ghoul #the band ghost #interview #magna carta cartel #mcc

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Buck Angel

Published: Jul 21, 2023

A guest post by Buck Angel, which really should be in The New York Times—maybe they’ll republish it?

Every day, I’m called a new name. Sometimes it’s something obviously insulting, like bigot or transphobe. Sometimes it’s something more subtly designed to twist my knickers, like female. My critics assume this will wound me, because for the last 30 years, I have lived as a man. I medically transitioned at age 30, after what felt like a lifetime of struggle, and after many years of therapy and evaluation.

Transition saved my life. But being called female doesn’t hurt me, because while I changed my body, I’m well aware that I can’t change my sex. And even though I’ve felt since I was a young child that I would have preferred to be—and should have been—born male, I don’t believe that children should medically transition. I’m one of the oldest and most visible female-to-male transsexuals in the country, but because of my views, today’s trans activists not only don’t speak for me, they try to cancel me.

Let’s rewind. I grew up in the 60s and 70s, a time of tomboys, when I was one of several typically masculine girls in short hair and sports shorts, running wild. There wasn’t much difference between me and those other tomboy girls back then; I beat up the boys and earned their respect. For the most part, my parents let me dress and live as a boy. The few times I had to wear a dress for church were torture, but other than that I had an excellent childhood.

My parents assumed my tomboyism was a phase I’d outgrow, but at puberty, I became deeply uncomfortable with my female body, a condition I had no name for back then. I lived for many years as a butch lesbian, and was an internationally successful androgynous model. Sometimes I wore suits, but when they stuffed me into a dress, I would spiral.

Eventually, the disconnect between my body and my sense of myself became too great. Sad and lonely, I turned to drugs, became homeless, engaged in prostitution, lost most of my friends and family, and hit bottom.

Once I got sober, and got therapy, I also got clarity. I told the therapist I felt that I should be—no, that I was—a man, and, unlike everyone else I’d ever said this to, she said, “I hear you. I believe you.” She gave me a diagnosis of what was then called gender identity disorder, which didn’t feel like a stigma. It felt like a lightbulb going off, which allowed me to understand and accept myself. I had a mental condition. That’s why I experienced anguish. Our next task was to figure out how to treat it.

Gender clinics were hardly in existence then. She couldn’t just affirm me and send me off for drugs and surgery with a letter. We spent over a year exploring the source of my distress and what it meant to be or live as a man or woman. She dug deep, she pushed back. And eventually, together, we decided that the potential benefits of transition were worth the risks. I had already passed the “real life” test. Now I went in search of medical treatments.

We filled out an inch-thick pile of paperwork for a program at Stanford, and never even received a reply. Eventually, we found an endocrinologist who explained to me that if I took testosterone, it would be experimental. But by that time, after 25 years of navigating the world as a differently-gendered person and more than a year of intensive psychological evaluation, I was ready.  

I did something even more radical than transitioning once my body changed: I became an adult film star, a man without male parts, making space for nonconforming bodies, raising awareness and increasing body positivity for trans people. Some of my lesbian friends called me a traitor, and haters sometimes called me a tranny, but for the most part, I found acceptance and joy. Until about five years ago, I was happily living as a transsexual, or, as I call it, “a man with a female past.”

Then several things started to change. The word transsexual—a person of one sex who changes their body to appear more like the other—was eclipsed by the word “transgender,” an umbrella term that included everyone from tomboys gently rejecting stereotypes to trans women who’d had penectomies, plus myriad gender identities that seemed to have no locatable meaning. The idea that people could actually change sex, that sex was mutable or unreal, took hold in society, especially with young people.

Then, as some clinicians, including trans women, have admitted, a rash of teen girls started to declare themselves trans and transition; some said they’d had no mental health treatments before doing so. Then I started to hear about and from detransitioners, who’d taken cross-sex hormones or had breast or genital surgeries, not to cure some kind of organic dysphoria but because they’d been taught that if they felt uncomfortable with themselves or their bodies, maybe they needed to change them to match their brains. One study of detransitioners showed 55 percent felt they weren’t properly evaluated.

When it comes to gender dysphoria, talk therapy is more important than anything else. In fact, several European countries are now insisting that therapy is the primary treatment for it, with medical interventions under strict regulation. Physical transition is hard both on your body and mind; I should know. You have to make sure this is the right path for you by working with a therapist who will push back and question and explore the source of your desire to change. Dysphoria is in the brain. If you’re skipping over the brain and going straight to the body, you’re not helping trans people.

People accuse me of climbing the ladder and pulling it up behind me, transitioning and then trying to stop other people from doing so. That’s not my goal at all. I transitioned at age 30 and never looked back or felt I’d made a mistake, and I welcome adults who can adequately weigh the risks and benefits of transition to join me. But I never could have been sure without the struggle I navigated, without my brain growing mature enough to decide. Every choice I made was in adulthood.

One reason I’m so adamant about not medically transitioning children is that those tomboy girls I played with growing up, who were just like me back then, didn’t turn out like me. Some are gay women. Some are straight. Some feminized during or after puberty. Some stayed masculine. Childhood gender nonconformity or even gender dysphoria aren’t indications of any one adulthood. We can’t just slap the label trans on a kid who’s differently gendered and assume we know what path that kid should take for the rest of their life. In fact, several studies show that the vast majority of kids who are gender dysphoric in childhood resolve their distress by the end of puberty, and a majority of those grow up to be same-sex attracted.  

Instead of focusing on identity, we should be focusing on the rigid gender stereotypes kids are absorbing every day. Give them the room I had to be masculine or feminine without presuming what it means about their futures. For suggesting these ideas, my own so-called LGBT+ “community” attacks me, tries to silence and intimidate me, accuses me of condemning children to a lifetime of suffering. But that’s not what I’m saying at all. I’m saying it may be hard to live in their bodies, but it’s important that they try, because we don’t know how to forecast the future from their current struggle, but we know it’s important that they learn to navigate and overcome hardship.

Myself, I’m glad for my many years of struggling. Struggle made me strong. Now the struggle is so different. It’s a struggle to tell an inconvenient truth in a world that thinks truth is transphobic. It’s a struggle to keep my business going amid #cancelbuckangel hashtags. It’s a struggle to feel part of a community that would oust a pioneering elder for wrongthink.

I’ve already been through so much, and I can handle it. But I don’t think suppressing knowledge, dissent and discussion is going to create more space for kids struggling today. I think those kids are best served by having time and space to understand themselves, and not rush—or be rushed—to make decisions about who they are going to be.

#LGBT Courage #Buck Angel #Tranpa #transsexual #gender dysphoria #gender transition #stereotypes #gender stereotypes #gender ideology #queer theory #social contagion #gay conversion therapy #gay conversion #religion is a mental illness

[magicamicitia]

Volume One, Chapter 4

“You just have to prove it to them!”

The distortion of reality around them slowly began to turn back into the beautiful hedge maze it once was, and the only remaining proof that a witch ever haunted the place stood perfectly still on the ground.

Fluttershy picked it up, looking somewhat disappointed.

“Only one…”

“You should have it, darling.” said Rarity, with a gentle yet sincere exprsssion on her face.

Applejack nodded in agreement.

“Yeah! You busted that thing down good! We’d have turned into witch food without ya.”

“Oh…” She nervously fidgeted with the seed in her hands. “I… I couldn’t…”

“FLUTTERS!”

“Ah-!”

Rainbow Dash tackled down her friend, laughing and crying at the same time.

“You were AWESOME out there! I can’t believe you finally made your wish! That stupid witch never stood a chance against you at all!”

“Oh… Um… T-Thank you, I didn’t really do all that much….”

Before she could finish her sentence, reality crudely downed upon her.

“No, Aj… You should have it. You used a lot of magic back there… I’d feel bad taking it from you…”

The cowgirl smiled.

“Don’t worry about it, sugarcube. If I do end up needin’ one, I can always go on a night patrol.”

“Ooh! Ooh! I’ll help!” Rainbow Dash let go of Fluttershy, excitedly skipping towards Applejack.

“What..?” Fluttershy seemed shocked.

“What’s wrong?” Rainbow turned around.

“Oh, nothing, it’s just…” She looked down at the grief seed in her hands. Her wish had really come true. “I’m so glad you two are getting along like this.”

She couldn’t help but let a relieved tear stream down her cheek.

“Flutters… Are you… Are you crying…?”

She quickly wiped her face.

“Oh, don’t mind me. That was just… A really scary battle. I think i’m still a little shocked.”

“This calls for a celebratory Make-Fluttershy-Feel-Better PARTY!!!!!” Pinkie jumped out from behind them.

Amidst all the laughter, Twilight couldn’t help but feel like she was forgetting something.

“WE’RE GONNA BE LATE FOR SCHOOL!!!”

Meanwhile, In Canterlot High, Sunset Shimmer sat alone in her chemistry class. It’s not like her attitude had earned her many friends, so usually she just sat with Twilight.

As she quietly resented her friend for not telling her she wouldn’t come in today, the door opened with a loud bang.

“I’M SO SORRY I’M LATE!!!!!”

“Twilight!”

“Ah, Ms. Sparkle! We thought you wouldn’t be able to join us today. Please, take your seat.” Despite the young student’s evident stress, the teacher smiled calmly as she said that. Still, Twilight couldn’t help but feel embarrassed as she stumbled toward the table where Sunset was.

“Where were you?” she whispered. “I was worried!”

“I, um… I had ebola.” Twilight blurted out.

“What?!”

“S-Sorry. That’s the excuse I came up with in case someone asked. I found a witch on my way here.”

“Oh, that thing we saw the other day?”

“Yeah, but…” Looking over at the soul gem ring on her right hand, she felt a pleasant warmth flow through her body. “I found… others.”

“Others?”

“Magical girls. Like me!”

“Huh?”

“They actually study here at Canterlot as well! Isn’t that wonderful?”

Sunset felt like her stomach had jumped out of a 12 story building.

She’d always known that, despite her special treatment of Twilight, she still wasn’t exactly the bestest friend ever. She’d tease her a lot, and occasionally her own anger would get the best of her. It wasn’t a surprise that Twilight would want to replace her eventually.

“Yeah, that’s…. great.”

Sunset had always been better off alone. Friends will only make you vulnerable and bring you along when they go down. But now that she had come face to face with this ultimatum, she…

“Sunset? Are you okay?”

She looked up at Twilight’s worried face. Her hand was gently placed on top of her own. Sunset cursed herself for letting her guard down so easily, but now that she had experienced true friendship, it was just too hard to let go of.

“C…” Her pride made her words heavy. “Can… I… Come along… With you… guys… Next time…?”

Twilight’s expression of worry quickly turned into one of excitement.

“Of course! I’ll introduce you to everyone!”

Oh boy.

Somehow, Sunset felt like introductions wouldn’t be needed.

When the last bell rang, Sunset was impatiently waiting at the front doors of the school. When they opened, Twilight appeared accompanied by five other girls.

“Alright everybody, as I was saying, this is my best friend…”

Uh oh.

“Sunset Shimmer?!” The five of them exclaimed in an unpleased tone.

“Hey… guys.” She awkwardly scratched the back of her head, trying to avoid eye contact as much as possible.

“Oh? You already know each other?” Twilight excitedly said, oblivious to the situation.

“Do we?!” Applejack crossed her arms.

“It’d be hard not to.” Rainbow Dash added in an agressive tone.

Hidden behind her, Fluttershy asked.

“Twilight, are you really friends with…. That girl?”

“Huh?” She looked around, confused. “Wait, am I missing something?”

“Listen, guys, I…” Sunset tried to explain herself.

“Frankly,” Rarity cut her off. “We don’t need to listen to anything you have to say!”

“Yeah! Twilight, don’t you know Sunset is the biggest, most meanest meanie of all meanies?” Pinkie backed up the rest of her friends.

“What? But I…” Twilight couldn’t understand what was happening.

“I’ve changed, okay, gosh dang it !”

Sunset Shimmer’s voice echoed through the campus.

When she realized what she’d done, she quickly covered her mouth with her own hands in embarrassment.

“I-I mean…”

The looks on the other girl’s faces were of the disgust she already knew. But Twilight’s eyes, covered in tears, almost made her lose balance for a second.

“Frankly, If this is all you had to show us, I think we’d best take our leave.” Rarity picked her bag up and turned around, with the others following behind her.

Soon, they had all left, but Twilight stayed.

Sunset tried to swallow her own embarrassment.

“Aren’t you going with them…?”

“No way! Sunset, listen…”

She held her hands up, looking closely into her eyes.

“If anyone knows you’ve changed, it’s me. You’re a wonderful person, and an amazing friend. You just have to prove it to them!”

“Prove…”

“Don’t worry, I’ll help you. I’ll always be with you, all the way. Cause that’s what friends are for!”

Sunset let go of Twilight’s hands, wiping her face.

“Yeah… Thanks, Twi.”

“Alright! Then, for today, I’ll go back to my own house and create the best, most foolproof friendship plan ever! Just you wait, soon, everyone will be happily hunting witches together!”

Twilight clumsily skipped away, and Sunset was left alone in the campus.

She couldn’t help but wonder if someone like her could truly make friends.

She had already failed once before.

#magicamicitia #mlpmagicami #mlp au #pmmm au